#reusing tags because i have free will

[socialist-aemond]

two things are crying right now and it's me and my will to live

(art creds; @cgbookworm on twitter, this art is gorgeous)

[emily-mooon]

While I hop through all of my art wips, have this ship chart I made for nordegrim!

[bengiyo]

Ben's Big BL Blurb 3: Blue Canvas of Youthful Days Blew It, But I Still Recommend It

I finished Blue Canvas of Youthful Days today, and I don’t like where we left off with this show. Let’s get into that, and then check in on some of the other shows I’m watching.

Blue Canvas of Youthful Days Didn’t Give the Audience Catharsis

I don’t begrudge the show going for a happy ending, given how so many other BLs from their home country end with sudden traumatic turns. However, I don’t feel like we got catharsis from the ending at all. I struggle to full articulate my frustration here, but I think I just really wanted an ending akin to Weekend (2011) or Gameboys 2 (2022).

I think these two were in a position where they were unable to be together now, and I think they should have ended on a separation. When Cairo and Gav had to separate at the end of Gameboys, it was the correct choice. They were still building their lives, and Gav wasn’t doing well on his on. Similarly, Blue Canvas established a scenario whereby Qi Lu did not have the power to stop his father from harming Qin Xiao. Likewise, Qin Xiao couldn’t keep the local gang from beating Qi Lu.

I would have preferred they have the boys confront that they were hiding things from each other, and how they both failed to protect each other from the horrors. I am disappointed that we didn’t get a poignant goodbye from them as they accept that they can’t be together right now. I wouldn’t have minded so much a blurb at the end of the show with the pitch for a season 2 that they didn’t get to film (though @thisonelikesaliens commentary makes even what they wrote dour). We didn’t confront the issue with the dad at all, and we didn’t deal with Qin Xiao losing all he’d worked for.

Genuinely, I would have been okay with them getting a tag at the end of the show with them seeing each other on the street again and sharing a meaningful look. However, we never saw them face the music of their double noble idiocy, and that sucks. It especially sucks because we had Let Free The Curse of Taekwondo this year, and so we saw the consequences of this. We could have had these two railing against the world and promising to see each other again. The tag at the end of the reuse of the fantasy sequence feels tacked on and unearned. That kinda sucks more.

Final Verdict: 8, Recommended With Reservations. I really liked most of this show, and I think they wrote some phenomenal characters until the finale here. Like @lurkingshan I ended up not pleased with this ending. I am disappointed in the lack of resolution about the withholding, and I think they needed to face the separation and goodbye. However, I really liked the cast, and I respect the team that worked so hard to get this to us.

On to the rest of the show, presented in no particular order…starting with the worst. I’ll put in parentheses what episode number I’m on as of this post.

Haunted Hearts is Boring (5/7)

Magic, mah friend! Your show is boring. I do not know why these boys won’t kiss, and at this point I feel like I don’t care anymore. They’re introducing yet another ghost next week and I just am so disinvested. I try so hard every time to support Oxin Films and Regal Entertainment, but they make it so fucking hard. Holy shit. There’s only so far the boys being cute can carry a thin concept like this.

City of Stars is Better Than I Expected (2/12)

I am catching up on this show. The acting isn’t great, but I’m really enjoying a lot of what’s happening here. I will report back when I finish.

See Your Love is Fun But Kinda Weird (7/13)

The visuals are great in this show, and the leads are filling in the aesthetic gap left behind by Jimmy and Tommy in a way that really works for me. There’s been way too many pratfalls in the last two episodes. We are at 1.5 pratfalls per episode at this point. The side couple is absolutely ridiculous. I’m having fun.

Caged Again is Becoming a Favorite (4/10)

Junior is the best protagonist of the year. I’m obsessed with this penguin boy. I love the way this show uses its supernatural elements to drive its storytelling forward, even if I think the plot got a little silly in episode 4. The friend group dynamics are so fun, and I haven’t enjoyed a group of Thai boys this much since Knock Knock, Boys! (no surprise, two of them are in this show, too).

Your Sky is a Weekly Delight (3/12)

The 2gether rewrite show is great, and I will be reading no commentary to the contrary. These boys are so great, and they are one of the best couples of the year. This show is doing fake dating in a way that’s just so excellent, because it’s real dating! The boys are genuinely trying to get know each other so they can pretend to be a better fake couple. This is so close to being excellent meta commentary about dating in the digital age, and how so much of dating for the current generation is about how others perceive the validity of your relationship. It’s actually so fun to watch a show where the characters are doing all the things you’re supposed to do when you’re trying to build something with someone, but one of them doesn’t fully understand what they’ve gotten into. This show is great, and I love it.

Love in the Air: Koi no Yokan is so Slick (5/10)

If there’s one thing a Japanese drama is going to get right it’s trauma! This show delivered on Kai’s horrors in a way that was so visceral that I needed to pause and catch a breath. I remain obsessed with the casting of Nagatsuma Reo as Kai, because he’s taller than Suzuki Asahi sometimes. I really love that they didn’t give us the BL height difference trope, and I like that they didn’t style Kai in a way to make him look more feminine. There’s a egalitarian physical balance between Fuma and Kai that I find extremely refreshing, considering the massive class, wealth, and suffering gap between the two characters. It’s no surprise that we’ve had a dearth of gifs of their sex scene, considering it doesn’t play to the kind of asymmetric aesthetics that folks seem enjoy in their pairings.

As always, the Rei and Kai friendship remains one of the best parts of this story, and I like the way this version of Sky talks to this version of Rain about the queer stuff. He feels like he’s being careful with his friend, and not just ghosting him on important conversations about his friend’s sexual awakening (one of my major gripes with the original Thai adaptation).

Our Youth is Taking Over My Brain (4/11)

I have not moved on from the “Infect me” line, and I am still obsessed with the plausible deniability of the “no homo” that Hirukawa relies upon as he continues to pursue Minase. Now that Minase has reached his breaking point, I’m so looking forward to seeing where we go next. We’re due for a major separation, and I’m ready for a Japanese BL to not fuck up a second chance romance attempt this time. Perhaps adapting Korean work could the solution?

Spare Me Your Mercy is a Welcome Return to the Sammon Feeling I Enjoy (1/10)

I just really love when Sammon shows feel like the mystery matters more than the romance, and this feels like it’s in the correct space. I loved the initial setup, and the potential for there to be multiple murderers. I really hope that they start killing younger people in this show, because they said there were only 40 palliative care patients, and we downed three of them in the first episode. I’m so happy to see JJ again, and Tor looks great. I am looking forward to the weekly watch and theorizing with this show. Most importantly, I’m looking forward to the complex meditation on euthanasia, which this story feels like it’s taking seriously.

Love is Like a Poison Finally has Given Us a BL Battle Couple Again (11/12)

We haven’t had a BL battle couple in what feels like forever. I love that this show continues to reward us for believing in Haruto and Shiba. Haruto’s dad is the absolute worst, and I really want him to lose. I love Shiba, and I love that the show continues to give him some of the visual tropes of a legal drama (like the pan up near the end). I’m in love with this show, and it’s going to be one of my favorites of the year, I’m sure.

Fragrance You Inherit Hurts Me Because Everyone is Doing The Right Thing (4/8)

This show is actually so painful sometimes, because no one is doing anything wrong. Everyone is being as emotionally honest as they can be with everyone they speak to about all of the things that are going on. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with Sakura choosing to let go of her lingering crush on Mone now that they’re both moms and their kids are dating. Besides, we presume that Mone is still married! The conversation with On-chan makes me think that Mone misunderstood the relationship Sakura had with him in college (My man is ace but not aro! We love to see it).

I just really love that everyone is trying to do right by everyone around them, and I think all of the things that remain unspoken in this show have been withheld for completely valid reasons. There are no villains in this story, and that makes it even harder to watch really kind people treat each other politely in every scene. I’m just feeling a quiet scream in me the entire time I watch a good son by a thoughtful gift for his loving mother with the help of his supportive and lovely girlfriend, as he prepares a surprise from the old friend who clearly still cares about her friend and the unrequited/unexpressed feelings between them. This show is incredible. Go watch it right now. Thank you again to @isaksbestpillow.

Conclusion

That’s more shows than I’ve been watching in a while. It’s nice to have some Thai shows back in my rotation that I’m actually enjoying. I really want the Chinese to now fuck up their endings, but it seems like 2024 will not be that year. I’ll try to check in with the end of Love is Like a Poison when the Netflix release schedule completes so folks can binge it then. In the mean time, let me know what you’re enjoying, and what else I should consider picking up.

[olderthannetfic]

What's a good place online to get decent-quality yarn at a reasonable price?

--

Knitpicks.

Assuming you want wool and that kind of thing, your idea of reasonable is box store prices, and you're in the US. They regularly have amazing sales too, on top of the already-low prices.

The snobbier you are, the more you'll need to look for other people's destashes. I was just at a reuse place today and they happened to just have gotten in some nicer-than-usual yarn with the labels still on.

The ideal is to find someone's grandma who is drowning in her stash or, better yet, someone with a dead grandma and no interest in knitting who needs to dump a bunch of yarn fast. But, of course, it depends if you're the kind of knitter who finds that inspiring or if you just want the correct yarn to use on a project you've already picked out.

I got some Wool of the Andes worsted early in my current phase of knitting, and it's quite nice, especially for the price. I'm currently trying out some of the sport weight because I have a specific Christmas sweater that needs it. I'm finding it scratchier and less nice, but I haven't blocked it yet, so we'll see. The whole Wool of the Andes line is beloved by thrifty knitters.

If you're willing to do some work and you like an adventure, unraveling a thrift store sweater is by far the most cost effective way to get a big lot of yarn. You can check the tag for fiber content. Some of these yarns will be rather thin, so you might hold them double or even triple for hand knitting.

For me personally, it usually makes more sense to chase super deep discounts on ultra premium stuff and then see what I can figure out with the yardage I end up with. It's really going to depend on you and your priorities. If you're longing for cashmere, it makes way more sense to try the thrift store approach. If you have a very specific Christmas colorwork pattern, Knitpicks or the like is probably a better bet. I got a big lot from fabulousyarn.com once when I needed that exact yarn. They seem fine. I don't know a lot about these big online stores, but there are a few of them, and they tend to have good deals.

You also have to consider whether you're going to be able to get continental US shipping (probably free from a US store) or not.

Anyone have thoughts on this?

[leclercsluvs]

CL16/DR3 | Already Over | smau

part 7 | masterlist

an: i'm not really sure how long this is going to be, but i am pretty sure it's not going to be too many more parts. pairing: charles leclerc x fem!reader, daniel ricciardo x fem!reader

charles_leclerc

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 5.619.174 others charles_leclerc been working on some new stuff. written for a specific person. love you.

carlossainz55 you're doing everything you can huh?

charles_leclerc i've got to show i'm the one for her landonorris that's the reason you sent her flowers without letting her know? danielricciardo the flowers were from you? maxverstappen1 ooo does charles need to watch out next race?

scfty/n i'm scared this isn't good.

norrislcve oh lord i fear for the next race.

luvsricciardo okay but imagine seeing daniel absolutely fight the shit car he has just so he can threaten charles?? it's gonna be exciiiiting norrislcve and if he takes them both out of the race?? luvsricciardo good for him tbh. charles lowkey deserves it norrislcve you don't even know the full story??? you have a few paparazzi photos and an album FROM ONE SIDE and you decide charles deserves to be taken out of a race? if they can't separate their private life and the race it self, they should NOT be racing.

f1updates

liked by sharllve, lecsluv and 1.279 others f1updates we have been sent these photos that is supposedly yourusername back in ferrari merch. is this a hint towards anything? tagged: yourusername

scfty/n those first two photos are literally old, and the last photo isn't even her?? she posted those two photos on her instagram after one of the first races she attended with charles.

leclrcs i literally saw here there tho, and she was wearing jeans like that scfty/n and that's supposed to prove what? that she reuses jeans? and there's literally two types of jeans here, a pair of black and a pair of light blue 🤨

wrldofleclerc i saw her there, but she was wearing a mclaren jacket (probably to support her bf??)

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 4.719.720 others yourusername well it seems some people were concerned with what i was wearing at the race this weekend. ferrari? nah. mclaren? yes. (he caught me trying to be sneaky while taking a photo) tagged: danielricciardo

danielricciardo to be honest you don't have to be sneaky. you can take photos of me anyday. i know i look good

yourusername you're right. i can take photos of you anytime. because i'm your girlfriend. i dont need permission 🥰 landonorris if he ever says you can't take photos of him, you're free to start taking photos of me 🙃 yourusername might take advantage of that offer. thank you danielricciardo don't steal my girlfriend 😠

y/nsvsp looks better than the red tbh

leclercsbae how dare you? y/nsvsp just speaking the truth 🤷 wrldofy/n can we agree she looks amazing in everything tho?

lecswrld good for you tbh. tell them

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 2.823.973 others yourusername all talked out, don't worry no one's being pushed off the track this weekend. right? am i going back to red? never. i found my color 🧡 tagged: charles_leclerc, danielricciardo

danielricciardo speak for yourself, i'm pushing people off the track i need to get back on that podium

charles_leclerc not the best way to do it mate landonorris you're letting me stay right? your favorite teammate? danielricciardo let's see 🤷‍♂️ yourusername don't threaten lando. he's too precious.

lecswrld he already looks so much happier!

rics.aep omggg they're friiiiends

luvsnorris are they getting back together?

leclercsaep i doubt it. with the rumors of him having cheated and her being in a happy relationship, there's a slim chance y/n and charles will get back together

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, pierregasly and 1.718.032 others charles_leclerc was forced to tasted this green thing. never doing that again. absolutely horrifying. tagged: yourusername, maxverstappen1

maxverstappen1 and you loved it

yourusername you charles you loved it >:( charles_leclerc i absolutely did not. i hated it. horrible. worst time of my life. maxverstappen1 worse than qualifying in baku 2019? charles_leclerc blocked.

pierregasly thank you for these photos. they're amazing.

yourusername i have some of max too. wanna see them? charles_leclerc YOU DIDN'T POST THOSE? yourusername no, not yet. do you see them on my profile? maxverstappen1 if you post those, i will make sure both daniel AND charles will end up in the wall on sunday. charles_leclerc you wouldn't danielricciardo i am shook.

comicallec everyone say a thanks to y/n for taking these photos

landonorris thank you y/n 🙏

danielricciardo

liked by yourusername, mclaren and 2.492.129 others danielricciardo back on that top step baby! knew it was possible 💪 tagged: mclaren

landonorris excuse me did you forget that i was there with you???

danielricciardo my dear friend, you are in the second photo. landonorris was expecting more aknowledgement ngl yourusername don't worry i took lots of photos where it's visible landonorris at least someone cares about my feelings

mclaren so proud of our drivers for the 1-2 this weekend! 💪

yourusername

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 3.111.304 others yourusername since my boyfriend couldn't care less about including lando, heres a few photos from the weekend that includes lando (i'm aware most of you follow me for my singing and not these randon guys that likes driving fast cars, but i'm just very proud 🥹 i'm leaving for tour in a couple of days and then you'll get all sorts of content) tagged: danielricciardo, landonorris, mclaren

landonorris THANK YOU

danielricciardo you're acting like i didn't include you AT ALL 🥲 landonorris because you barely did maxverstappen1 yeah mate you could have put in some more effort yourusername yeah daniel you could have included at least one more with him. danielricciardo wow i see how it is

ncrrisfav YESSSS gimme gimme gimme

landonorris

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 1.908.166 others landonorris daniel hurt my feelings so he's not being included >:( thank you yourusername for the second photo! amazing weekend. would not recommend drinking champagne from daniel's shoe tho tagged: danielricciardo, mclaren

yourusername yeah honestly drinking from daniel's shoe, disgusting.

danielricciardo and i thought you loved me landonorris your feet sweat tastes disgusting. never doing that again danielricciardo can i bribe you?? landonorris depends how much you're willing to pay yourusername disgusting.

norris.vfx god the content we're getting right now is AMAZING

clarkeybog ikr?? loving it!

-

part 8

[lyraeon]

I didn't put it in the original post because I was focused on things I did as an adult, after I already had agency and freedom to some extent.

But I know some of you are still 15, so even though it's been 20 years and 2002 was a very different time:

at 15 I was a sophomore high schooler at a very extracurricular-focused, homework heavy public high school, following spending K-3 homeschooled and 4-8 at a magnet school for Gifted Kids™. I couldn't get myself to do my homework or any projects, unless I could do them in class while the teacher was talking, and I never understood why. I'd gotten away with it before high school but 100%s on tests couldn't offset grades there, so I was spiraling into a worse and worse depression because I had no metric to measure myself on besides my grades and CLEARLY my family was right and I was just lazy and defiant and didn't want to do the homework and I was just making up the whole "I keep forgetting" and "I sit there and stare at it for hours but can't make myself do it" things. I was eternally grounded for my grades and "laziness", and my folks blamed my internet friends and the fact I stopped going to church for my bad attitude and depression (which I Totally Didn't Have Because You Have A Perfect Life With A Great Family And How Could You Be So Ungrateful And Make Us Look Bad By Pretending To Be Sad All The Time?)

Despite all this I still bought in to all my folks' racism and Bush loving bullshit (the defense was, "it wasn't that we hated ALL minorities! just the lazy ones! and it's their fault racism exists because they're making the whole group look bad!" and if that kind of argument feels at all defenseable to you please snap out of it) and earnestly believed being gay was just something perverts did and so all gay people should be in jail (and in my brainwashed mind, were, because all criminals were instantly caught and punished as far as I'd been taught - which we were largely taught to keep us scared of making even tiny mistakes). I defended having black and Muslim friends to my family as them being Some Of The Good Ones™ and only finally started to realize shit was fucked up when my grandfather banned me from visiting his house for dating a black guy (and did so in terms that even my folks knew were godawful slurs, but He's Old, Times Were Different, so I was just Supposed To Accept It.)

When you're young, you don't know what you don't know. You know what you have access to, are taught, and are shown. It would be nice if we all just instinctively knew what things are good and bad, or if we learned the truth on first exposure, but when you've heard the same rhetoric day in and day out your whole life you have no reason to question it until you're given one.

My friends had already tried telling me how racist I was and my response was that they didn't understand, I didn't hate all minorities, I just hated lazy and entitled people, and most minorities just happened to be lazy and entitled! and it was those people's fault for making the whole group look bad! not to mention systemic problems didn't exist and equality was definitely real and She Shouldn't Have Dressed Like That and all the other crap. It was all very, very well ingrained in there, and a huge part of it was that I had been made to feel like I was an awful person who barely deserved to exist because of how lazy and entitled I supposedly was (at 15! though a lot of this was ingrained much younger), so I really believed that one of the Truths of the universe was that laziness was a horrible sin and anyone who defended it was evil. Even after I finally got it through my skull that racism still existed and was still VERY prevalent, it was several more years before I snapped out of "well if the lazy people would just stop making them look bad".

(If it sounds like a lot of that's also ingrained self-hatred from the repeatedly diagnosed but ignored by my folks undiagnosed ADHD, you're absolutely right, and that's part of why I say a lot of hateful people are just resentful that others aren't holding themselves to the same impossible standards they hold themselves to [nevermind if they actually meet them or not] and that getting them to un-internalize those things will help snap them out of hating others.)

Same with "the gays". I went through so many stages - and the first stage was actually making up an all-girl alien race in 5th grade that didn't need icky boys and that reproduced by fusing eggs together, then getting chewed out by the girl scout troop leader for joking about homosexuality in front of her daughter, which is how I found out that being gay is even an actual thing not something I'd have to be an alien to be AND that being gay was supposedly a sin and illegal on the same day. It took no time at all for me to be all in on praying for those poor poor people who had been lead astray and given in to their perverted temptations, in hopes God would help them find their way and repent. I also decided I definitely had a crush on my best guy friend cuz clearly boys and girls can't just be friends either so it HAD to be a crush, right? (that one actually might have been, but then he moved away and man, the guy I obsessively pretended to like in 6th grade after that and I had a hilarious talk at 31 because he's now gay and an underwear model and he apparently never said anything negative about my awkward "crush" because he already knew he was gay and it made for a nice cover).

That carried on for years. At 16, my best friend came out to me in a crying fit, promising to me that she wasn't actually gay, she just really loved our one friend that much and surely that had to be ok as long as they never had sex because God doesn't make mistakes and wouldn't have made her be in love with a girl if that was actually Bad, right? My boyfriend at the time (who wouldn't officially come out as bi until his spouse came out as trans 10+ years later) told me he'd probably kiss a guy if he were cute enough, but he'd definitely never do it because we were gonna get married and have 3 kids and 2 dogs by the time we were 25, even though kissing a guy wouldn't really be cheating because well it's not like it'd be romantic cuz that'd be gay lmao. I made only three friends at college - one was a fairly open Two-Spirit person (my first real encounter with anyone trans-identifying, and at the time my brain did mental gymnastics to say that it was ok because she was Native American and their culture was different), one I was on tenuous terms with because she was a stoner, but also the only other gamer in the building, so I dealt with it, and she came out as bi within a couple months. The third was ace - a concept we didn't have a word for yet but somehow still understood and accepted as something Weird But Yeah It Makes Sense. By the end of the year I had started to suspect I liked girls but was fully convinced I was just playing up noticing how pretty they were in order to "fit in" better with my gay friends.

Part of why I stopped talking to my family for a while is because they banned me from being left alone with any minors in the family after I came out as bi at 19. I liked women, so in my family's mind that included even little kids and I was now a danger. I was so livid that I cut them off as much as I could.

Ironically I might have snapped out of a lot of the rest sooner if I hadn't cut them off, because being exposed to the juxtaposition of their bigoted views and emotional abuse vs the way the world actually was is what snapped me out of the first few things and made me start questioning the rest.

My point on all this is, again: people change and grow, and people don't know what they don't know. That doesn't mean you have to indulge every time someone asks for information (especially since sea lions exist) or go out of your way to explain things to people, but it does mean that things aren't as simple as "if you have ever said a homophobic thing you are awful forever", especially when those things are said while you're still under direct influence of your family and haven't had a chance to experience the world without their filter on it yet.

Basically, someone who's 80 and still uses the N-word has had plenty of time to be exposed to the world at large and know that's bigoted and has actively decided they don't care (or even are happy about it) and want to be seen that way. But someone who's still in high school and doing it may just not have exposure to anything they trusted and said different yet. That doesn't make them your responsibility nor mean you have to tolerate it, but it does mean dismissing them as lost causes or deliberately hateful may be missing the chance to snap them out of it and make the world a little less hateful, and if you are someone with the time, resources, and knowledge to educate them, it may be worth speaking up.

And I know I'm forever grateful to the people who took that time with me, and who saw that I wanted to be a good person but had been raised to think the bad things I was doing were good, and decided I was worth prying out of that. But I'm also forever indebted to them for putting up with my bullshit before then and for spending that effort, and I still wish I could undo the damage I did while I thought that way.

What it means above all is to constantly be curious about new things and look into them deeper. It's easy to fear or hate things you don't understand and to blindly believe the people you trust because they've raised and/or supported you. It's hard to ask extra questions, dig deeper, and to face the fact you were wrong about something - but it's worth it.

And if the people you spend time with make you afraid to admit you were wrong or to suggest they might be - not "I might have to explain things or get disagreed with" afraid but "I will get yelled at, ostracized, or worse for questioning anything or for admitting I made a mistake" afraid? You might need some different people to hang out with.

at 20 I thought I was faking my depression and was "bad at life" and lazy like my family said. I still earnestly believed I was entirely straight and everyone knew girls are just nicer to look at. I still had a ton of ingrained racism and other bigotry from my Bush-worshipping family. My main dream of being an astronaut had been smashed by my anxiety and health problems, so I was trying to study Japanese because like every other weeb I thought I'd fit in better over there (lol), but I'd already flunked out of one college and been forced to quit another to get a second job. I was overdrawn constantly and often buying gas station gift cards at the grocery store so I'd only take one overdraft fee. I was dating someone horribly controlling who eventually earned the title "evil ex", dialed up my eating disorder, and traumatized me out of writing for 2+ years. I had several roommates because we all considered having the funds to go to anime conventions more important than personal space (and because back then we already thought $600/month was expensive). I spent any other free time half asleep at a friend's house cuz there I could play games and watch Intent videos. Half my meals came free from work, the rest were hacked together from stuff that worked out to $1/serving or so. The power or internet got turned off at least twice a year from non-payment.

at 25 I thought I was too depressed to deserve burdening others with my presence or existence. that I was a burden and purposeful downer and nothing would ever get better. I was still dealing with a ton of internalized transphobia, racism, and other bigotry that I had been taught was Just The Truth and still occasionally fall into. I was massively straight edge against weed and anything else (threatened to call cops on close friends) while also being a half bottle of vodka a day alcoholic just to get my brain to shut up enough to let me write or sleep. I didn't know how to have fun without alcohol, if at all. I had lost my ability to draw when I severely injured my wrist while i had no insurance. I tried going back to school, first for architecture then teaching, and flunked/dropped out of both. I was losing jobs every 6~8 months from being chronically late and being sick constantly. I manged to lose one on my birthday and wound up having to make some other tough choices because of it. I had only just reached the point where being overdrawn was a rare thing and I wasn't buying single gallons of gas with tip money. food was still often just ramen but I no longer had days where I didn't know if I'd get to eat, though I was often dependent on my then-bf. I had multiple teeth rotting and couldn't afford any treatment besides getting them pulled, and often not until they'd become infected.

by 30 I was finally on antidepressants and in therapy. I was on the road to physical therapy for shoulder and wrist injuries that had happened years earlier. I was pretty happy in my relationship. I held down one job for almost 3 years straight after getting medicated, then turned around and flunked/dropped out of college for the 5th time (Physics this time) because I was too anxious to take public transit reliably and STILL couldn't do homework anywhere but in class, so most projects never got done. I'd stopped being able to write (and am still running from the possibility my meds Took That from me because it doesn't come back if I stop them). Food had become a different struggle - I no longer had time, physical health, or executive function to cook reliably so I was spending too much on take out and causing wild fluctuations in my weight. I was hiding my eating disorder from my partner and my friends. I had begrudgingly un-estranged myself from my family to support younger cousins as they came out as queer. I had developed a healthier relationship with alcohol. I had accepted that, outside of addiction, drugs are a bodily autonomy thing and stopped being an ass to people about them. I had finally learned some damn etiquette around things like not accidentally outing people. I started streaming and making videos - stuff I had dreamed of since first watching Dead Fantasy and Red vs Blue and Weeblstuff in high school but had thought impossible after I lost the ability to draw.

I'm currently 35. This year I am living on my own for the first time (aside from 5 failed months at 18). I got divorced - a complicated, regretful process that was ultimately for the best but I could and should have handled better (and sooner). I've been in physical therapy long enough that I'm able to use chopsticks properly again and am thinking of trying to relearn drawing. It's also meant I can do the dishes and wash my hair on my own again, most days, so I'm relearning how to cook consistently. I'm reading (listening to) books again. I'm on year 8 of antidepressants and currently working with my doctor to fine tune what I'm on (and finally have a system to take them consistently). I've been diagnosed with ADHD and figured out I might also be autistic, and a lot of things in my life make way more sense when viewed through that context. I have appointments to get evaluated for ADHD meds, autism, shoulder surgery/other "PT isn't enough" treatments, teeth implants, and new glasses. my clothes have been put away 3 of the last 5 times I did laundry and I've learned that if I only own one dishwasher worth of dishes, the sink can't pile up. I've fully embraced that I'm polyamorous, pansexual, and demiromantic, and that I can be cis while also being "gender agnostic" - none of it really matters or processes to me, but I get that it does to others so I respect it. I'm seeing someone who makes me feel like I can do anything, is inspiringly ambitious themself, and is equally polyam, meaning I might also be asking out a cute girl soon and don't know where board game nights with the nice throuple I met might go. I'm having to do odd jobs and accept help from my dad to make ends meet, but I'm arguably a full time content creator now - something I literally didn't even let myself dream about when I was younger because it felt impossible, but which is fully worth the complications and budget crunching because it's so accommodating to my disabilities and uses so many of my talents. I'm still depressed, but I have hope that ADHD treatment will help cut through the remainder. Most days I just have hope, period. And more days than not, I'm genuinely happy for at least a while.

You'll find yourself.

It might take a while. There will be detours, mistakes, pain, tough choices, and a lot of hard work. But there will also be unexpected joys and more possibilities than you ever imagined.

Someday, you'll find yourself.

And when you do, it will be worth the wait, I promise.

[mazzystar24]

i feel like im in the minority who don’t want eddie to have a slut era in general like… idk even without chris it feels so ooc for him to me, like i feel like he’s so far repressed at this point that if he didn’t wind up with buck he would end up just living the bachelor’s life…

and like i feel like that was the whole point of not having eddie and tommy be the couple this season was bc it wouldn’t make sense for eddie to step forward in that way unless it was buck… or at least that’s what i interpreted the initial decision to swap the storylines to be so maybe i’m wrong

i guess after six years i’m just tired of them dragging their feet and i’m sick of them giving them meaningless relationships with zero chemistry rather than just letting them be happy… and giving eddie a slut era would just feel like they’re rehashing buck 1.0 and i’m tired of them reusing plotlines they’ve already used for other characters (and even giving characters the same plotlines again)

like eddie can be gay without having a slut era and i kinda would like them to not play into the hypersexual queer stereotype since they’ve decided to do so w buck

One thing is 3am me is a gremlin and I don’t like her or her brain (that was the time I made that post) also she just likes to make fun of annoying people but so do I and I had seen TOO many posts talking about a straight slut era for Eddie so hence the chaos gremlin post

Normal me’s thoughts on this:

• the reason I don’t like slut era as gay Eddie canon for Eddie is like you said it’s a bit ooc but also imo like I feel like BECAUSE he’s so repressed it’d take a really meaningful and impactful relationship to give him the like motivation/push he needs to get him outta that closet (which was my same reasoning for why I was glad they didn’t do Eddie/tommy like they originally planned- cos buck just never realised it but Eddie like actively represses it and has much more like in depth reasons for it- like buck wasn’t so much in the closet as he just thought that was his room meanwhile Eddie is like in a super bolted chained Houdini level closet)

• I mentioned in the tags but I want to be FLABBERGASTED when buddie canon happens I want to let out an audible scream in shock and wake up my neighbours and realise it only after I get a noise complaint and if they make them both canonically queer it’d feel like a matter of time (funnily enough i said this but about making ONE of them queer when the bi buck rumours were going around and legit the next week or so we get 7x04 and I was right - true I didn’t anticipate bt fans and the fact that it doesn’t feel FULLY inevitable- but fingers crossed I am psychic again and we get gay Eddie)

• while I think the fact it’s so ooc would be interesting because like it’d show how Chris leaving is affecting him I feel like it’d also be a huge disservice to Eddie because his queer arc and experiences deserve better than like strangers and one night stands as a coping mechanism if you get me

• if I’m fully honest even if his queer arc doesn’t end up perfect I just want him to be canon like it wouldn’t be my ideal like honestly if they do a disservice to him I’d hate it but still I’d just take the win because gay Eddie deserves to be free from😔 like even with buck they kinda weren’t great with his arc but my joy at bi buck overpowers that

But yeah sick and tired buddie canon now Tim please😔💔

[vitaminseetarot]

March Palette Game: CLOSED 🌈

Somewhere, over the rainbow...

I felt inspired to do a game based on my huge stack of palette cards. I have 700+ palette cards to shuffle through, multiple stacks that take an hour to shuffle at least lol. I remove any duplicates, so 99% of these cards are different, which leaves much room for exploration.

All participants for this game will receive one palette card which will be read like an aura. What is your current energy? What kind of aura are you radiating? I will not reuse cards, so everyone will have a chance to get a unique card drawn! I will also pull one tarot card from the Spectrowhirl deck to give you additional insight as to why your palette card was selected along with additional guidance if needed. Images will be provided.

RULES to Play:

☼ 1 Follow this blog if you're not already a follower: VitaminSeeTarot

☼ 2 Reblog this post with the tag #vitaminseetarotgame

☼ 3 Send me an Ask (not DM) along w/ two different signature emojis of your choice 🌈🎨

☼ 4 Asks will be accepted starting 3/18, deadline is 3/21 @ 5pm EST. Be sure to check the open/closed status before submitting. Asks submitted before 3/21 may receive their reading after the deadline has passed. Asks submitted after the deadline will not. Make sure to submit your Ask before the deadline if you want to participate.

☼ 5 Please be kind & patient while I finish your reading, as I don't know how many will play.

☼ 6 This game is for your specific energy/aura reading only. I will not do palette card readings for your friends, family, or other people in your life. I will not do readings for celebrities, events, or situations here.

☼ 7 Remember that energy is always changing and your aura reading is not meant to be interpreted as a permanent, fixed state. Free will is yours.

☼ 8 I reserve the right to refuse a reading for any reason (I may refuse only because certain guidelines weren't met. You are free to resubmit your Ask before the deadline, provided the above guidelines are followed).

☼ 9 You must agree to the above rules before playing.

☼ 10 If you would like to leave a tip, you can do so on my Ko-Fi page. Check back to my page soon if you're interested in paid readings as I will be opening up for personal sessions very shortly.

Thank you for your donations, likes, reblogs, feedback, and follows. Thank you for your support! 🙂

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2024, @VitaminseeTarot ™

[kyra45]

Tour guide tips to scam spotting

Hi! I'm Key, and I'll be your tour guide today to help you learn about pet donation scams. These scams are usually pretty easy to spot in the wild, but some may not know how to quickly spot them. So, here are some tips to spotting a pet donation scam blog!

Check the date of the pinned post. How old is it? Usually if the post is only a few hours old/days old it's likely meaning the account was made the same time as well. Not all new accounts are scammers! But sometimes they can be. Was you sent an ask to share their pinned post? If you was, did it use emojis like ❤ or 😢? Usually these are the most commonly used ones for scammers, and they do this on purpose. The ask also requests you to answer privately or DM the asker for more info. The asker will not respond to any legitimate concerns you have though. They want you to answer privately to hide the ask and prevent anyone from seeing it. You can tumblr search the ask to see who else got it. How many posts are on the account? If you check, are they all shared directly from the OP and not tagged? Usually there is only about 20~ posts reblogged minutes apart all in one go and this is done to look legitimate. Scammers usually are in a hurry and don't really pay much attention to the post. Usually it's from a trending topic or theme and nothing else. You'll not find newer posts unless the account has existed for a week or so. Does the story seem familiar? Scammers will reuse and copy/paste the same story multiple times across their accounts if it's generic enough and if they've gotten money already. This could be a cat called Ashel or a cat called Koppi. Though usually, the story is stolen from somewhere else. It's common to steal the aid post that someone else has too. If anything seem suspicious, you likely found a scam account. For example, the blog followed you then sent you an ask but has never shared your posts or shared your content. If you ask them to show proof their real, they generally will block you because they can't show you anything that would show their the pets owner. They will do this to multiple accounts. Not all blogs sending asks to share their post is a scammer and not all aid posts are made by scam accounts. It is important to always do your own research and come to your own conclusions. If something feels off, you can always ask around to see if anyone else has their own information. Do not feel like it's bad to have concerns regarding the legitimacy of an account.

If you enjoyed these tips, feel free to pass them around to your friends so they can learn how to spot these scams at a glance. If you like this post, I have other information over there in the post that'll you see as a pinned post on my blog. Those posts go into detail about other kinds of scam accounts you'll come across.

Anyway, stay safe out there!

[good-vs-evo]

oooh i was just tryna find some huayin content because i was bored and a little tired and wanted to cheer myself up AND GUESS WHAT

i thought tumblr was a safe place for me to be insane and queer and have a good time w my silly little rarepairs and polycules and hcs

but apparently. i can't ask for one place to be silly lmao there are ppl on tumblr still being like haters... for ships they could easily avoid? and putting it... under the huayin tag? which is, you know. the uh. the intention is kind of confusing. esp since ppl search up that tag w the intent to consume content related to their personal interests and probably don't want to see ppl hating on what they enjoy in the process <3

once again i don't really see the point in so avidly hating a ship that ur tagging it... in hopes that ppl who ship it will see it? because... they're ppl who ship it... and will likely not agree w u... and will likely just see u as another hater... and either ignore or fight and like where will that get anyone? sincerely? and hating an artist so much like w so much passion i think there are better things in life to do such as: find an artist u do like and move on!!

but i digress i just. i wanted to make a lil post w my hcs for them bc i <3 huayin hehe

reusing some from my long post abt all the rarepairs and polycules i ship!

hua cheng rarely got sick, but when he did, he wasn't worried (he knew yin yu would take good care of him)

both yin yu and hua cheng know how to cook, so they make each other meals when they know the other is too busy to remember to cook for themselves

yin yu can read hua cheng's handwriting! possibly the only person on heaven, hell, and earth who can, he's really used to seeing his messy scribbles and has learned how to decipher them

hua cheng was kind of a xie lian gatekeeper for a while, but he regaled yin yu with stories and let yin yu into his temple dedicated to xie lian

e'ming trusts yin yu and likes him to equal levels to xie lian

they have some little odd creatures of mysterious background that they keep and raise together in paradise mansion

yin yu asked hua cheng to teach him how to draw and paint and hua cheng has little lessons for him when they're both free

yin yu's interested in different kinds of masks, so hua cheng gifted him a room and funds to invest in new ones

they have chill time once a month when they're required to leave their work to just spend an entire day together

hua cheng's love language to yin yu is acts of service and gift giving

yin yu's love language to hua cheng is acts of service (no wayyy) and touch

hope u enjoy :) and also wishing u a nice day :D

[nouverx]

Good afternoon!!!

I am Andrew and how I can see your audience is pretty big and you're pretty popular in Hazbin community. So how did you gain you audience? I would wanted to listen some recommendations for new content makers.

Pal I don't know if I'm the right person to ask this ahah because I have no idea, I just draw what I like, post it and see how it goes basically. I just love Alastor and Radiorose so much that I need to talk about them and draw them or else I feel like I'm going to explode. I need art about them to chew on constantly so I check the radiorose tag almost everyday (sometimes I comment on posts and people seem surprised to see me there ahah guys I am just as brainroted as you yk). And I guess people are the same as me and need food to chew on too. Who knows

I'll ramble more under the cut:

Tbh I'm just an hobbyist I want to make art that I love and am passionate about and if it draws people's love and attention in the process then good! If not, then it's ok too. I least I made food for myself to enjoy.

It might be surprising but I spend my free time writing fanfics that I'm never going to post ahah, I just like to reuse some stuff I write and make them into comics. I write my little fake scenarios for my own enjoyment in the first place. For example this recent Radiorose comic originally was a one shot I wrote back in February. I only made it into a comic recently because I really wanted to share it with people (and fun fact at first it ended with Alastor being so startled by this whole conversation that he left her apartment without a word and didn't talk to her for like a week. I changed it to make it funnier because I like to entertain people more than make them sad :'D)

I don't want to be popular or make art for other people, I make it for my own enjoyment first and I just like to share it sometimes to see if people will enjoy my vision! So I dont know what kind of advice I could give you ahah I don't know if I have the right mindset for that.

I also think I have the bonus point of being an experienced artist. I've been drawing for 12 years, studied art academically for 6 years, I work in the animation industry, I have a lot of experience in posting online, and I've been drawing for a lot of fandoms in my life: Death Note, Undertale, Mystic Messenger, Moomin, Steven Universe, One Piece, The Legend of Zelda, Trigun Stampede, and now Hazbin Hotel. My artistic skills are completely different from when I was drawing in my first fandom (Death Note) in 2015 ahah. Now no matter what fandom I draw in I always get a decent amount of reactions thanks to my artistic skills and experience.

It makes me sad to see smaller artists compare themselves to me sometimes and be disappointed that they don't get as much attention as me. Just be aware that I have a degree in art and animation and I've been posting art on Internet since I'm 14. I'm almost 25. Don't beat yourself up you'll get there 💖

[ganondoodle]

Oh man I saw your totk issues post and I agree 100%!! Those are all things that have really bothered me about playing totk, and things that made playing it not nearly as fun (the dungeons, the shrines, the building, etc).

Especially the map!! When I tell you I was so disappointed by the maps on totk, I was hoping for something new! It really just feels like a modded botw, not an official sequel.

I was wondering what your thoughts are on the concept of “what if they had sent link to the past instead”? So the surface map would feature huge differences in the land forms and buildings that exist, and we’d get to see more ganon whenever he visits Hyrule, or go out to the desert to see Gerudo town, etc.

If they really wanted no sheika tech, they could also just have it being newly built? And you could introduce the new characters and such, etc etc.

(I also think the past champions are such a missed opportunity? If botw is about grief and loneliness, and finding hope in the hopeless, and Totk is about coming together despite that, it could have been really interesting if Link had gone to the past! They could have used the past setting as an eerie reminder to what Link and Zelda had lost when the Calamity struck!)

THAT BEING SAID: I’m not as familiar with the legend of Zelda lore, and haven’t played totk very much! I wanted to know your thoughts on this because you seem to have a lot of story and game mechanic knowledge that could explain why this could be a bad/good idea!

(Plus, your discussions are always super interesting to read, as is your custom totk lore, so I’d love to know what you think🩷)

I’m sorry if you’ve already answered an ask like this! If that’s the case, feel free to point that out and I’ll go through your ask tag if you have one:) I hope you have a great day!⭐️

Hi!

im glad you enjoy my rants, i often feel like im being overly mean but tbh were else could i just rant as much as my heart desires without getting spammed by annoying people (certainly not on twitter lol)

i have talked alot, and i mean ALOT, about totk and my issues with it, both lore and gameplay wise, i dont claim to be an expert on any, though i am an old zelda fan and aspiring gamedev, i really only talk about what i feel about it, what i think about it, and by all means im biased as hell xD

if you dont know yet, the "ganondoodles rants" tag is where all my rants go, so if you are interested in reading more on my totk thoughts thats the way to search (given tumblrs search in blog works ..)

and to answers your question, i have touched on it briefly, sending link back in time before the shiekah tech existed would have been an easy way to excuse how they jsut got .. rid of it, bc they didnt, it literally didnt exist yet- and for reusing the map- though that argument falls a little flat bc ... they coud have already done that in present totk, like i brought up in one of said rants, things like flooding gerudo desert, collapsing death mountain, drying out zoras domain etc, and changing the location of the main populations would have already done alot without having to redo the map in its entirety;

the little changes to map itself really wouldnt that big of a deal if they didnt also send you to the EXACT same locations AND repeat the SAME LOCATIONS AGAIN but in the underground, like thats a fact i have talked about multiple times bc its so illogical in every way, anywhere theres a settlement on the surface theres a bigger mine below, its so stupid, the shrines conenct to a lightroot, the same, again, you dont need to explore bc theres nothing TO explore (its also extra weird bc theres one below taburasa (tarrey town) which .... link literally build with dumsda (hudson) a few years ago .. unless that got retconned too idk wth do i know anymore honestly- AND it makes the sonau extra weird bc why the hell do they have a bigass mine under every settlement ESPECIALLY UNDER GERUDO TOWN like, that just adds to my suspicions towards them)

anyway, link to the past was the point and yes, it could have solved a few issues (mainly shiekah tech and the whole "story" taking place AGAIN in the past completely disconnected from you the player) i personally am not so much a fan of it, but that mostly comes down to me just not liking time travel, i dont like going back in time, i want to play and do things in the here and now, i want to repair the damages of the calamity, find out its origins, maybe fix that too, i love to learn about past stuff too, but that more in text, no literal flashback (unless done well), i want to connect to the past but it also holds alot of mystery that maybe shouldnt be touched upon, some mysteries and unkowns are much more interesting when left as such, i want to THINK about things and come to conclusions that are logical and makes sense in hindsight even if it wasnt clear at the start, i dont want information and what to think about it told to my face over and over like im stupid

after botw i really didnt care much about the past, maybe about the acient hero who alot of people specualted to be of gerudo origin due to its red hair- which also got a monkeys paw curled bc in totk they do sth with but its so stupid and insulting that i do not accept it as canon, say what they want, there are no dog people anywhere in the past nor present botw/totk wtf is that i hate it- and its not even .. why is that the reward for that, it has literally NOTHING TO DO WITH TOTK ITSELF I COULD YELLLL AAAARGH

main point is that really, i wanted to explore the past .. in the present, i hoped to find broken old shiekah structures, old labs and maybe some left over damage and records from when the old king persecuted the shiekah for their tech, i wanted to know where the ancient energy the shiekah used was coming from, what the boss arena in the middle of hyrule castle really was- so many things just discarded and acted like they never happened or mattered; i dont want to travel into the past, i want to discover whats left of it, piece it together, discover dark secrets you can ask no one about bc all that knew about it are long gone- thats what intrigued me about botw, it felt like there was so much left to discover only for totk to throw it all away and just do its own thing .. but not commit to that hard enough either so its neither its own thing nor a sequel-

.. that wasnt really what you wanted to know was it? xD sorry i tend to ramble on if someone seems to give me permission to

to sum it up, i think it COULD work, sending link to the past instead, if done well, but so could canon totk have been, it could have been done well but wasnt for reasons i dont know and tbh even fear bc i worry its sets a dark future ahead of zelda; i personalyl am just not a fan of time travel so i dont have that much to say to it :O

[crushcrushlover]

Aha so instead of sleeping I did this.

In order, left to right, top to bottom, Bonnibel OG outfit with text boxes at 80% transparency, Bonnibel OG outfit with text boxes at 60% Transparency, Bonnibel Valentines Outfit with text boxes at 80% transparency, and Bonnibel Valentines outfit with text boxes at 60% transparency.

I went with pinks as the main color, as a nod to majority of her outfits incorporating pink from what I could find, purples for her favorite color (found on the wiki) and blues to accent and hint at her OG outfit - originally, I was just going to do one or the other, but decided doing both would be a solid choice.

I did kind of mix in some of *my* aesthetics so if some things don't appeal to you, like the text photos, you've got my permission to put something else over top for personal use. Please do not try and reuse these commercially, they were made by me, to be used for free. Don't be a dick.

Personally, I'm rocking the 60% transparency, with the Valentine's outfit because it's too cute.

I did try to pick a decent selection of my favorite quotes from her, but some did inevitably have to be cut.

More subtle versions // Full text // Bonnibel - less // Text - less versions will be under the cut for anyone who wants them!

Please reblog if you use them! I want to find fellow crush crush fans ♡ Please include in tags if you are or are *not* okay with doubles! I'm kinda iffy on them because I'm really attached BUT I'm not limiting who can use these lockscreens. These were made for all safeship Bonbon fans, it's more so I don't follow you if you don't want doubles! :)

-> Not a proship friendly blog, sorry.

Just Aesthetic // Full text versions

I understand some people might want the subtle option, in case you live with parents/nosy folks/you don't want to tell your partner about crush crush/etc. Whatever the reason, the aesthetic only version is here for you!

Similarly, whether you just want to see what quotes made the cut, or would prefer to have the text without the imagery, it's an option as well!

Bonnibel's without text

Same order and positioning as before, for minimal editing since I originally wasn't going to offer the above or below but realized there might be someone who'd want it, So below is the two Bonnibel outfit varients I went with, Sans text!

[just-some-random-blogger]

I'm nervous about requesting this since I don't know if it's a good idea, but here goes: Reader goes camping for a weekend and decides to invite Dream to do typical camping activities (canoeing, swimming, hiking, etc) with them on one of those days. Can be pure fluff/slice of life (though I wouldn't mind a little bit of smut too).

Marshies

Dream of the Endless x Reader + Destruction of the Endless x Reader

Summary: "Pardon," Dream shakes his head, "how were you two acquainted again?" Destruction and you turn to each other as you bring your chocolate marshmallows closer to the open fire. In unison, you reply, "Didi."

Word Count: 1k+

Warnings: gender neutral reader, camp instructor!reader kinda, unbelievably mopey!dream, puppy!destruction, fluff, jealousy, bro vs bro?, typos, etc.

A/N: HELLO MY BABY LOVE FANGIRLMARY. I AM SO HAPPY YOU CAME TO MY INBOX I DO A DANCY DANCE. I LOVE YOUR URL UR DP AND YOUR REQ SO MUCH I GIVE YOU AN EXPRESS PASS. I havent had a req like this at all i think AHHAHAHA. It's so, how you say, simple and cute which is a great thing to start with for me. n ur like me fr cos i get nervous sending asks T_T so if you're still nervous lemme hold your hand. anyway, it kind of spiraled, and I felt like adding an endless sib so i did and I HAVE A SOFT SPOT FOR DESTRUCTION OK 😫 i hope you don't mind huhuhuh and hope you like it my love <3 i think i've used this gif before but its too perfect for the fic not to reuse HAHHAAH Tagging: @pinksirensong @aralezinspace @sloanexx @deniixlovezelda @shadow-pancake9

You were a rainstorm and Dream was a sponge, except he didn't know it. With every opportunity he had to be around you, he took you in until he was overcome with an uncomfortable heaviness. He was leaking with grimy emotions. And he was awfully spineless.

Matthew had been croaking from his shoulder, telling him he was a ridiculously wet sponge, and that he had to pull himself together and wring himself up because he was, frankly, disgusting.

That did not bode well for the bird. But this is not about that.

It's about how the lord of dreams did get thinking that. Perhaps, he should in fact act upon these weeping urges, for it was painful to be around you yet not have you.

It was unclear who was more shocked when you suddenly invited Dream for a weekend away, Matthew or Dream himself.

And so with the thickest, greasiest, smuggest smirk, Dream accepted the invitation. He made it known that he was graciously making room in his labor-filled schedule to accommodate your request, but accommodate your request he surely would do.

For the days building to that weekend away, Dream would study all the spectacles that involved camping. He would be camping with you and you would be camping with him; it will be lovely. He visited the dreams of those who enjoyed the leisure, and those who were objectively good at it, soaking in all the things he could learn, much like the sponge he was.

You can only imagine how shocked he was to find that the precious gift of the precious free time you, in your humanly nature, prized so much, was not even a gift to him at all, it seemed. For a gift was not typically shared, not meant to be shared, much less with some 20 other people.

"HEY DREAM!" you beamed, grinning ear to ear as you raised a hand and waved at him the moment you spotted him.

You promptly jogged over and huffed through your smile, "I'm so glad you decided to come! You'll like the people here, I promise."

Dream looks at you as a toddler busts a lung out crying. He cannot find himself to smile, though you do, for a corrosive jealousy was ripping through his stomach. You begin to explain that most of the people present were from the same circles as you,and that you did most of the planning for the weekend. You reiterate that it will be fun.

And yet as your expression softened and your brows raised while you assessed his form, he could not not smile at the sight of your doe eyes.

A dark cloud thunders above him.

He begs to disagree.

"You didn't bring any bags? Any equipment... at all?" you tilt your head.

Dream places his hands behind him, "I find no need for it. After all, anything you can posses comes from nature, does it not?"

You pull your head back and chuckle, "wow, okay, nature man," you grin, "I'm glad you at least dressed for the woods. I would have told you off if you kept your trench coat on."

Dream needlessly brushes off his tank top then places his hands in the pockets of his jogging pants, "I am capable of dressing cordially to the setting."

What he was incapable of doing though, was sharing. But you already knew that. At least he thought you did.

You introduce him to many people, he nods in regard but does no more. When someone calls for your help to set up some things, Dream immediately swoops in and makes sure that he would be the one to help you as you help.

"I must say," Dream starts as he lends you a hand whilst in building some tents, "I thought that today would be a more... intimate setting."

You turn to him as you poked a stick through the fabric, "it is. This is the smallest number of people I've hosted for a weekend at this site."

Dream's eye twitches, "but I had thought," he turns to you with a stern expression, "the invitation was exclusive to me."

To be honest, you were too preoccupied with setting up to notice how serious he was about it. The moment you caught the glint in his eye, your stomach dropped. Your lips part at the grave expression etched across his face. "Uhhhh," you clear your throat, "well, I mean, you're the only person I invited, if that counts for anything."

Dream sucks in a breath as he finishes doing his side of the tent. He walks over to you and helps you with your side. He does not look at you as his hands take yours but he knows in his bones that your eyes were on him. He also knows there was a heat blossoming in your cheeks.

He mutters, "I see," he spares you a moment's glance, "then I am glad."

That didn't last long though.

The next thing he knows, he's made to sit with a group of men, all somehow bearded, laughing over the 'good ol days' over some beer in between scolding the human spawn they had with them.

After that, he was doing yoga with some mothers that were giggling over embarrassing stories, and how good looking he was in between scolding the human spawn they had with them.

And then, well, he was holding a leash of dogs who were eager to run off but not allowed to because their masters where setting up, and so they ended up barking at the human spawn they had with them.

Then, like a true omen, he heard the laugh of the prodigal.

How did he know it The Prodigal? Well, considering the earth shook beneath his sneakers and the flock of birds fled from the trees, he was certain it was him.

Normally, he'd be glad to see his little brother, but when he saw his giant frame next to your smaller one, well, let's just say everyone who was in the middle of a nap at that moment woke up from a terrible nightmare.

"Brother," Dream interjects your giggling conversation.

Dream, needless to say, was salty to see your temperate exchange. He had gone above and beyond to socialize with the people in this camp, and yet here you were with the wrong Endless.

You and Destruction turn to him mid-catching your breath. All Dream could think about was how you had your palm on Destruction's bicep.

Was the temperature dropping?

Destruction perks. He raises his hands and steps forward, "brother!"

Dream is sealed into a tight embrace and is lifted off the ground in the process. His eyes are on you as you look between him and Destuction.

"You two are brothers?" you ask in surprise.

Destruction turns to you as he sets Dream down, "we are!" He slaps Dream's back, making his body flinch to the side. The older of the two grunts where the younger one smiles, "he's my big bro!"

"Oh!" you say with wide eyes. You tilt your head, "well then that explains the odd names."

Destruction gives a hearty laugh. Dream eyes him hotly.

Destruction sighs, "I'll know to call you if I ever did you get my brother to agree to come out somewhere."

Dream grunts.

You shake your head, "I'm equally surprised to see him here, honestly. Most of the time I'm not even sure if he enjoys being around me."

He turns to you upon hearing this.

"He's a tough nut," Destruction retorts, pulling his brother into a side hug, "but he's not hard to crack."

Before Dream can even respond, his brother rakes them both over to the lake, "now, how about we go canoeing!?"

Destruction couldn't have offered a more terrible idea.

The canoe boats were not suited to carry the Endless, much less two at once.

Destruction, ever the gentleman, did not hesitate to plunge ankle deep into the lake, only to ensure that you get into the boat safely. He held your hand as you stepped in, and Dream bristled as he watched.

When his brother turned to him, offering out a hand in order to do the same for Dream, the older of the two practically seethed in annoyance.

He turned his cheek and crossed his arms.

Destruction sighed, "oh, come now, Dream. The canoe awaits!"

Dream is adamant and stays put.

Destruction presses his lips into a line and decides to get in with you.

"Come on, Dream," you urge upon seeing his pettiness, "canoeing is fun! I promise."

One of the many promises you've made thus far.

Dream lets out a breath upon hearing your voice and the yelp-turned-giggle that you release as your tiny canoe rocks because of his massive brother.

Dream holds back an eyeroll as he watches you clutch onto Destruction, as not to rock the boat further. You giggle again, as does his brother.

"Very well," Dream says, walking over to you both.

It was futile however; every attempt in joining the already crowded canoe lead to only disaster.

It was clear Dream could not join in the canoeing, at least not in the same boat.

So the two of you rowed deeper into the lake, and Dream followed after in a separate canoe all by himself. A miserable predicament.

He could hear your soft voice, droning about all the nature facts you knew. It was audible, your excitement. He could not see you, not with his physical eyes at least, but he knew your face was lit up. It always did in moments like this. Destruction listens intently as you speak, though undoubtedly, he knew most of what you were talking about already, being a nature buff himself.

He reacted with excitement accordingly. He gasped, and laughed, and inquired further in all the right moments. He made your voice lift into further enthusiasm. He made it sound so easy. And perhaps it was to him.

Dream then rowed faster, so that, finally, your rides were side by side.

Destruction talked to you about the old sprites and spirits that used to live in these parts. Dream catches how you lean in to listen to his words. His eyes practically burn when he catches the flower in your hair, the same kind of flower that was in Destruction's.

Dream felt like jumping into the canoe across him, but that would hardly put him into your good graces, so he doesn't.

Before he realizes what he is doing, Dream clears his throat then loudly speaks, cutting his brother off, "you know I am friends with the queen of the fairies."

Both you and Destruction turn to him.

Dream ceases his rowing and allows his boat to drift next to yours.

There is a long silence between the three of you.

You turn from Dream to Destruction, jaw turning slack.

Why are you looking at him?

You push your shoulders back and tilt your head, "ah..." you smile at Dream, "I see."

Dream clenches his jaw. That was not the reaction he expected. But then again, he was unsure of what he was expecting.

It's Destruction that diffuses the thickening awkwardness, "he commissioned Shakespeare to write for the queen, you know."

You pull your head back then chuckle, "ah," you smile brighter, "he did, did he?" You turn back to Dream, "and which Shakespearean work would that be?"

Dream lifts his nose, "I have inspired the bard to write a great many plays. Two of them however are specifically for me."

You lean back in laughter, clutching your chest in delight, "ah, is that so? Let me guess, is one of them A Midsummer Night's Dream?"

Dream smiles, "precisely."

You laugh louder, shaking your head, "that's seems about right. I must admit," you sigh as you level your breathing, "I haven't really read that story at all. I... don't think I have the brain power to."

"No shame in that. I personally prefer painting over plays," Destruction notes, claiming your attention once again, "I admit, my attention span is not so suited for long winding plays."

You laugh again but Dream does not enjoy it, "yeah. I don't mean to offend the dead, but I can't really understand Shakespearean at all, so. The language is too outdated for me."

Dream accidentally (intentionally) hits the side of the other canoe. He feigns ignorance for a moment but then turns to the two of you, offering a wry smile, "apologies."

He was not at all apologetic.

In the end, Dream was situated between yours and his brother's shoulders in front of the large campfire most of the people on this wretched camp trip were circled around.

The explosiveness of the day had melted into a solemn and warm nightly gathering. Everyone was doing their own thing, cooking food, passing said food around, sharing stories. There was a strong sense of community. Dream, yet, felt like he did not belong.

The nightmare king, as he was talked over by the two of you, passed the 3rd plate of pie, rhubarb this time, to the person past you, then sunk deeper into his spot.

You were oblivious to him, he thinks

You were not. You noticed he was sulky ever since the canoeing. You offered a stick of animal shaped marshmallows to Dream mid conversation with his brother. He declined and sat up straight.

"Pardon," Dream shakes his head, "how were you two acquainted again?"

Destruction and you turn to each other as you bring your chocolate marshmallows closer to the open fire. In unison, you reply, "Didi."

Ah, Death. That made sense.

"Wait," you raise a finger, turning to Dream. He immediately perks up. Finally, he has your attention.

"If you're related to Didi," you start, "then that means you're-" you point to Destruction, "related to Didi."

Destruction grins, "my big sister!"

"Ah," you smile, "being sweet must run in the family."

"I have had enough!" Dream blurts, standing from his spot. He does this so abruptly that you drop your marshies and it calls the attention of other camp goers, not that he cared at all at this point.

He fails to realize that you did very much care.

You feel the hair at the back of your neck prick as you look up at fiery Dream. He pipes, "you told me it was I that you invited, I and only I, and yet you have done nothing but speak to my brother the whole day!"

Destruction can feel the agitation radiating off you for being put in the spot like that. He raises a hand, "Dream-"

"You are not being spoken to, Destruction," he turns to his brother, "know your place."

Not that you looked, not that you wanted to, but you could feel everyone's eyes burning into your body.

Destruction raises his hands in defeat. He turns to the crowd and sees a few of them were looking on in their direction. He turns back to you then the next second decides he knows what to do. Destruction looks out to the cliff from not too far off, then with the slightest tilt of his head, it falls with a loud splash into the lake.

It effectively distracts everyone who was looking your direction and everyone who wasn't.

"WOW!" Destruction points and stands, "that was a rock falling!"

You stand as well, looking to the people moving over to see what had happened to what, but Dream's grip on your arm keeps you from following.

"Please," he mutters, making you turn to him. His face is mystical in this light. It is shadowy yet so beautiful. "Speak in earnest. I cannot take this any further. I wish to know who between us has your heart."

You are effectively winded by this talk. It came out from seemingly nowhere.

"Is it I or my brother that you want to be with," Dream mumbles lowly, making your entire body freeze.

Your breath hitches, "b-be- what?"

"Must I speak more plainly? You can only have one. I am not particularly generous, and I certainly do not like to share what is mine," he raises his hand. You hold your breath in fear of the sound of your shaky breath when he brushes his fingers against your shoulder, "what I want to be mine," he whispers. "I especially find it difficult to release something that I want-- tenfold knowing what I want could well end in the arms of one of my siblings."

Your heart was echoing in your ribcage and your eardrums at this point.

The thumping would have excited Dream had he not been so green with envy.

"Destruction is dear to me," his soft lips move ever so slightly, "but if it comes to it, I will fight for you."

You nearly choke on your breath and your spit. A fight? One between Dream and Destruction? It sounds like a primordial event. A shiver runs down your spine. You shake your head quickly, "please don't."

Dream knits his brows and shakes his head more surely than you did, "I will."

Your breath hitches, "to be honest-" you blurt, "I didn't realize you- you... liked me like that."

Dream watches as you gather your thoughts.

"You... you do pop up in the strangest places, but I chalked that to something of fate or... proximity," you give a nervous look, "and you're not very good at showing emotions... I normally convince myself that if you didn't want to be around me, then you wouldn't."

He steps forward and places his hand on your cheek. "Allow me to make myself perfectly clear then," he rubs your skin with his thumb. Your skin pricks with goodbumps.

"Think back to the first moment we met. Every moment after, all instances that you have seen me was not coincidence. That was me purposefully reaching out to you, wanting be near you, wanting to see you, wanting to hear you, wanting to be with you, wanting you."

Both his hands are on your face now. His thumbs ghosts over your lips, "I want you."

You gulp.

"Do you want me too?"

You can't speak. You cant think. You can't breathe.

He doesn't let you when he leans in and kisses you. Soon enough, he gets his answer when you grab onto his top and kiss him back.

The forest trembles beneath your feet. Neither of you notice.

There, behind a not too far off tree, Destruction watches.

Matthew, in an announcer voice: In a total 180, the Dream rizz reaches maximum capacity, and in the end, he gets what he wants.

[izicodes]

Mini React.js Tips #3 | Resources ✨

Continuing the #mini react tips series, its components making time~!

In React, a component is like a Lego brick for building websites or apps. It's a small, independent part of the user interface (UI) that you can reuse whenever you need it. These components can be combined to create bigger and more complex applications. Examples are the header, footer, cards, asides, etc!

What you'll need:

know how to create a React project >> click

know the default React project's file structure >> click

know basic HTML

know basic JavaScript

basic knowledge of using the Terminal

What We Are Creating:

The footer at the bottom!

[ 1 ] Navigate to the 'src' Folder: Open your project in Visual Studio Code, locate the 'src' folder, and right-click on it.

[ 2 ] Create a New File: Click 'New File' to create the file within the 'src' folder. This file will house the code for your React component.

[ 3 ] Naming Conventions: Give your component a name, according to the convention of starting with a capital letter. This naming convention is essential for React to recognize your component~!!

[ 4 ] Create The Initial Function: Open the file and type:

export default function [name of component]() {}

[ 5 ] Insert The return() Statement: The statement is used within a component to specify what content should be rendered when the component is invoked or used. Type:

return()

*the error is there because we haven't added anything inside yet, don't worry!

[ 6 ] Insert The Empty Tags: Inside of the return(), add empty tags (tags that don't have a specified element inside of them).

[ 7 ] Time For Some HTML: Inside the empty tags, enter the normal HTML elements that you want~!

[ 8 ] Integration with App.jsx: Navigate to the 'App.jsx' file in the project, which is typically the entry point of your React application. At the top, import your newly created component. Type:

import [name of component] from './[location of the component]'

[ 9 ] Use Your Component: Inside the return() statement of the 'App()' function, include your component using the following syntax:

<[name of your component] />

[ 10 ] Run the Development Server: Start your development server with the command (the 'Local' link):

npm run dev

[ 11 ] Preview Your Project: Open the link provided in your terminal in your web browser. Witness your component in action!

Congratulations! You made your first component! Try and create some new ones and place them around in the App()~!

BroCode’s 'React Full Course for Free’ 2024 >> click

React Official Website >> click

W3School's React Components >> click

Importing and Exporting Components >> click

🐬Previous Tip: Tip #2 The anatomy of the default React project >> click

Stay tuned for the other posts I will make on this series #mini react tips~!

[cadybear420]

Cadybear's Minifics Masterlist (NOTE: List is subject to frequent updates)

Any one of these minifics are subject to being reused or expanded on in larger fics. Feel free to send me any number of prompt from any of the prompt lists on the fics (but please keep it to one prompt per ask because I like each fic to have its own post lol).

For my larger and more fleshed out fanfics, go here

Tagging: @choicesficwriterscreations

Kiss Prompts

Evie x Aiden (OG HSS): Kissing to shut them up

Evie x Aiden (OG HSS): Kissing out of habit

Evie x Aiden (OG HSS): Kissing discreetly

Evie x Aiden (OG HSS): Kissing for luck

Evie x Aiden (OG HSS): Kissing in secrecy

Evie x Aiden (OG HSS): Kissing on a scar

Evie x Aiden (OG HSS): Kissing out of envy or jealousy

Alan x Emma (OG HSS): Kissing as an apology

Hug Prompts

Evie x Aiden (OG HSS): Hugging as a disguise to tickle them

Cuddle Prompts

Evie x Aiden (OG HSS): Cuddling by wrapping their limbs tightly around the other's body

Evie x Aiden (OG HSS): Tracing lines on the other's skin while cuddling