#retorts

[amycvdh]

“Very good,” I said coldly. “In that case, tinkerty tonk.” And I meant it to sting.

P.G. Wodehouse

[minewarz]

I think the appropriate response to "I won't stand for this" is "well, then sit your ass back down!"

[anyataylorjoys]

POOR THINGS (2023) dir. Yorgos Lanthimos

[jbfly46]

New retort to depressed nincompoops:

While I respect your desire to remain in a mental state of existential despair for all of eternity, etc..,

[corgiteatime]

I love seeing people call whatever is going on between Astarion and Gale as "toxic old man yaoi."

Because if you told them about it, Gale would look sad and say, "Toxic is a bit of a strong word. Everyone in this group has their own issues and-"

Meanwhile, the 200+ year old vampire shaking with rage behind him would shriek, "OLD?!?!?!"

[danoshanter]

random dialogue flash

might be just a flash of a prompt for a poem song story picture abstract mudmixing. who noz, but i know better than to not get them down:

"Thank you so much for avenging your comrade, now I get to torture the bastard in hell forever! ;D "

[bumblingbabooshka]

Society if in TOS we had Doctor Mccoy who was an expert in Human Medicine and the Human Heart contrasted with Doctor M'Benga who was an expert in Alien (Specifically Vulcan) Medicine and the Vulcan Heart and they often clashed/collaborated on how to treat Spock whenever he was injured or acting strange....medicine in space...the down home doctor vs the extraterrestrial physician. How to be humane to the non-Human. Spock's struggle between Human and Vulcan made real, made flesh, made immediate, on the surgeon's table.

[giarossin]

mel [to viktor]: you're the professor's assistant jayce: NO, he's my partner

marcus: kiramman girl had a prisoner released on your order jayce: NO, we've got i covered viktor: you promised to destroy the hexcore jayce: NO,

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[nnnneeev]

thinking about how solomon will react if you shot him down everytime he follows up with a "just kidding." for example....

solomon: welcome back! did you miss me? haha just kidding-

mc: what if i did, huh? what are you gonna do about it? what if i did miss you? no, scratch that. i DID actually miss you. and it's not just today. i missed you on every other single day that we weren't together, so stop asking me that question because you should already know the answer

solomon: oh, i uh--

[ineffableteeth]

Please give me Aziraphale going “Oh God!~” in bed and Crowley going “Blasphemy Angel? That’s not like you.~”

[ouaw-facts-i-just-made-up]

Kremy tried to have a very serious conversation with Gideon about him being trans but Gideon just replied, "yeah so what. Me too you ain't special"

[batcavescolony]

A Batfam AU where instead of going to get Dick to be Robin again Tim uses necromancy to bring Jason back from the dead. He just leaves Jason on the Wayne doorstep with a 'do better this time' sticky note. Batman can't find out who did it and Tim stays his little latchkey self with semi ok but distant parents (cus canonical they weren't really abusive just not there which isn't good but they could be worse). His parents bring him along on trips but again they love him but they just leave him to do as he pleases. so in Paris he ends up still getting trained by Lady Shiva. This keeps going and Tim just keeps reviving batfam members, if they fake their deaths and Tim tracks them down to check on them. They still have no idea who their shadow is, they can't find him, Tim likes it this way. Bruce goes MIA and Red Robin happens just minus Tim actually being Red Robin. The JLA doorstep gets a passed-out Batman with a 'I can't believe I have to keep doing this shit' sticky note on his head.

[spaceorphan18]

Anthony: Kate is very accomplished at riding. Colin: Penelope is also very accomplished at riding. Anthony: Really? I have never seen her on a horse. Colin: Oh yes, she is very good on a stallion. Anthony: ...did you seriously just call yourself a stallion? Colin:😏😏😏😏

[flowery-laser-blasts]

Dropped everything to create this shitshow.

This talk happened shortly after Shego finished filming her "The Supreme One and YOU!" Instruction video.

She also cranked the voltage up by 10 levels. (Nexttimehesayssomethinghe'llsmellofburnedpopcorn)

[furiouskettle]

i saw the post and immediately thought of cliff