#requiem rehab

[wittebanee]

redrawing Caelie and Viviana…again 😭

I made Vivi look more human-ish..? since she’s supposed to be an angel.

here’s another drawing of them

[lainingeez]

Welp now my family knows I’m an sw and I’m foked, anyone got any ket or fent?? One month long bender would be great

[befemininenow]

My Dream is a B.U.S.T.: Side Story or True Ending?

Spolier alert!

A.J. (the woman in the pics) happens to be a creation of Melissa dreams of becoming, which is why she's shocked when A.J. reveals that she is Melissa in the future. It's not that Melissa will turn out to be like A.J. in looks; it's more of the personality she will inherit during her transition. The epilogue serves as a "rehab" episode of her recognizing that her addiction to the sissy lifestyle has damaged her mental health and surroundings. Whether she bounces back to her old self and pursues transition is up to the reader.

The sissy lifestyle can be addicting to some people since it gives a rush of euphoria to other feelings such as humiliation or validation. However, there's something dark in these scenes that isn't discussed due to its nature: drugs. Stuff like poppers and "smack" is commonly used to calm the person down during anal sex and other sexual activities. However, using these drugs are not only unsafe, but can be highly addicting. This kind of activity is not unheard of in these kind of sexual lifestyles as you would usually see people on sites like Grindr offering drugs in exchange for sex. Someone who could have just looked for some simple feminization may end up falling into a very bad downward spiral, an all of that reminds me of a little film called Requiem for a Dream.

In an attempt to fulfill a dream, one gets lost somewhere during their journey of success and falls into the trap of temptation, which turns into an addiction that severely changes the person's outcome. The only way to change that is to dream, but it also distorts their own somber reality to the point of feeling lonely. My Dream is a B.U.S.T. has some influence from that film, as well as other science fiction works involving time travel and timeline changing (Think Back to the Future, The Matrix, etc.). However, it was also inspired by other fictional feminization stories like Fraylim's School Daze and Burntwitch's Girl in my Dream.

I'm not sure if this can count as a true ending or a side story. All I can say is that it takes place after the epilogue. The epilogue is inspired from Requiem for a Dream's ending; the characters face a horrible ending IRL, curl into a fetal position, and imagine themselves having a far more successful lifestyle. Melissa faces something similar; she dreams of having a successful life as a trans woman with a nice husband, close girl friends, supporting family, and a well-paying job. But when she wakes up, she finds that she is nothing more than a pathetic sissy who sells herself for sex, pays her hard earnings to a mistress, is partially disowned by her family, and has a hard time getting along with other trans girls who don't view her as one due to her lifestyle. She crawls down in tears and wishes to turn her life around. Unlike the four other characters in the film, Melissa gets a second chance to fix her life. The question is: will she do it?

[captainhunnicutt]

9 of my favorite films that I watched for the first time this year!

Thank you to @amrv-5 for tagging me. Kisses.

I have never been one to sit and watch movies. It's annoyed family and friends for as long as I can remember. It's not something I ever set out to do or even think about doing, and when @pomegranate suggested I get Letterboxd, I primarily was going to use it to rate Mike movies and forget about it. Instead, it's helped me watch 34 movies (28 new to me) movies. Picking 9 of my favorites (excluding ones I've seen before, which I think were all Christmas movies), means you get essentially 1/3 of my viewing list. Enjoy.

Memento (2000), dir. Christopher Nolan -- The way this was shot is batshit insane, and I was entranced from the get go. There's nothing I can say that won't spoil the movie. It's one of those you watch it once and your mind gets blown. You watch it a second time to figure out how the fuck you missed so much.

The Mephisto Waltz (1971), dir. Paul Wendkos -- I'm in my lusting over Alan Alda phase, which if I'm being honest, was probably always going to happen someday. This movie did something to my brain. I've been rewired. I was on the dog's side the entire movie.

James Acaster: Hecklers Welcome (2004), dir. Stuart Laws -- I am horribly late to the Acaster party. Shame on me, right? Anyway, if you were ever curious about the type of man that really gets me going - he embodies it. This had me laughing from start to finish, and that's saying something because I'm not usually one to enjoy watching stand-up comedy. I find it funnier when you're in the same room. But this? Chef's kiss.

Will & Harper (2024), dir. Josh Greenbaum -- This year, I have learned a lot. I've learned a lot about people and myself. I wouldn't say I've been "sheltered," per se - but never exposed to a lot and therefore had to fuck up and learn and fuck up some more. This just resonated with me. I can and want to do better.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004), dir. Michel Gondry -- I avoided this movie like the plague, because I hate Jim Carrey as a serious actor. I somehow went 20 years not ever having anything spoiled for me, and I'm really glad I didn't. It deserves the decades of hype.

The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951), dir. Robert Wise -- I love science fiction, but a very specific type of science fiction. I love the trope of some alien being comes to warn or assist humanity. It's overdone, I know, but it's one of the reasons I adore The Twilight Zone as much as I do - and this movie falls directly into that trope. Even if the idea of some being from outer space coming to attempt to save humanity from itself isn't up your alley, the underlying messages of what humanity should do better still ring true today.

Inside Out 2 (2024), dir. Kelsey Mann -- "I don’t know how to stop anxiety. Maybe we can’t. Maybe this is what happens when you grow up. You feel less joy." These two sentences alone absolutely destroyed me. In a year where everything that could go wrong went wrong, in a year of self-discovery and having to come to terms with things I thought I had tucked safely in a box and locked away, I have felt so much anxiety and little joy - and that's okay. It's always okay.

The Hunger Games: Ballads of Songbirds & Snakes (2023), dir. Francis Lawerence -- Fuck me, I'm predictable. I love this franchise, and I love how downright brutal this movie was. Nothing intelligent to say about it. I'll leave you with my Letterboxd review: "'Now I know the whole world is an arena,' & 'It's the things we love most, that destroy us.' It's a shame this movie didn't come out during the heart of AOL Instant Messenger. Those two lines are perfect away messages."

Requiem for a Dream (2000), dir. Darren Aronofsky -- Just... is Aronofsky okay? I legitimately felt like I needed to check myself into rehab after watching this film, and I don't partake in any drugs. It's got this... early 00's color palette that if you were around during those years you know exactly what I mean. It's beautifully shot, but it will honest to God leave you wondering if you will ever be happy again.

If you want to follow along on my movie viewing in 2025, please feel free to add me on Letterboxd. Tagging anyone who feels like doing this.

[angeltreasure]

Hello. I’m not sure if I feel silly or not (and not sure if you know or care about it at all) but Matthew Perry from the show Friends passed away and it just kinda hit me in quite a strong way. Growing up, friends was always one of my fave shows and me and my own best friend would always have it on so this has make me feel really sad and I shed a few tears. At the same time, it reminds me why my faith is so important and just shows shows me again why hollywood is not what it seems to be etc. I don’t know where his soul is right now and that also makes me really saddened but yeah, I guess I just wanted to share with you here 😢

Good Morning,

I didn’t watch the show that much but I know who that actor is from the show. My mom told me he had a lot of problems with addiction to alcohol and drugs, had a lot of life saving surgeries and rehab visits. That poor man suffered so much. It can make us cry because we have to look past the fame and see the dignity of the human person and we realize that’s a child of God suffering. We don’t know where his soul is but we can pray for him! Thank you for sharing that with me. Let’s pray for Matthew Perry together.

-

Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord,

and let perpetual light shine upon them.

May the souls of all the faithful departed,

through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

~Amen~

——

Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine.

Et lux perpetua luceat eis.

Fidelium animae, per misericordiam Dei,

requiescant in pace.

~Amen~

[ihatemyselfforwantingmore]

I always knew I would become an addict

Everyone (or at least most people) think that addicts are just weird crackheads who deserve no respect or empathy of any kind. They also think that something that horrible would never happen to them. I guess I used to feel the same way towards them before I became one of them.

I always knew I would become an addict. For as long as I remember, I wanted to escape from my life. Whenever people who worked in rehab came to my school to prevent drug use and described all kinds of drugs, I started craving them. I've romanticized drug use for as long as I can remember. I used to see the ecstasy pills with smiling faces thinking: "I'm gonna try this when I'm older". Then I went home and researched about all kinds of drugs while craving them, wishing I could grow up faster so I could give them a try.

Obviously, I grew up with unrestricted access to the Internet. I was obsessed with pop culture, and something pop culture obviously had was a shitton of drug use. I remember spending hours in front of the computer watching pictures of Lindsay Lohan partying wishing it was me, at the age of 10.

I loved watching movies and, of course, if there's something teen movies have is drug use, whether it's weed, acid or cocaine. I couldn't wait to try them when I grew up. It all seemed so glamorous. I loved the film 'The Bling Ring' when I was 11 after watching it on theaters. And their lifestyle was just so glamorous! I wanted to be one of them, I wanted to listen to All Of The Lights by Kanye West while driving and doing cocaine at the same time. I just wanted to have fun. My life was so boring and depressing.

I was a straight A's student who was in extracurricular actives and was known by everyone as an avid bookworm. I used to speak in front of the entire school trying to promote reading to my classmates by recommending YA books that could get them into the hobby of reading. I used to have a lot of books under my chair in case anyone from my classroom wanted to read something. I remember calling it 'my library' and getting in trouble because of it, but I didn't care. I've always loved escapism, and maybe that's why I loved reading so much. I was kind of a very lonely girl growing up, so I used to imagine fantasy worlds while I was in class. I used to think that maybe if I did drugs they would come to life.

As I grew up, I stopped having as many friends as I used to. Everyone in my class randomly decided to just stop talking to me. I only had one friend, and she stopped talking to me and became friends with my bullies after I had to transfer schools due to, of course, bullying. I thought I wouldn't care but it fucked me up really bad.

I started watching more and more movies in a depressive episode where I didn't go to school for four months. All I did was drink Coca-Cola and spend the whole day on my computer.

Two of my favorites were Requiem for a Dream and Trainspotting. Most people (like my parents) thought that they were a hard watch because of the scenes where drugs fuck their entire lives. I thought the opposite. I used to think they were so glamorous and that it was a world I wanted to get into.

I went to school again and struggled with selective mutism, so I couldn't make any new friends, no matter how bad I wanted to. Everyone thought I was just the weird, quiet kid so I kept reading a lot to feel like I had a friend, even if it was just a book.I missed my ex best friend like crazy. I started reading novels by Jack Kerouac and Irvine Welsh, just wanting to go on a substance abuse binge thinking it would fix all my problems and make me happier.

My brother used to be just like me until one day he woke up and decided to rebel against my parents. He decided to drop out of high school and tried every single drug on Earth with his friends. I always resented him for that because I wanted a big brother who'd take care of me but instead I got a Tony Stonem dupe. I don't know if I wanted to be like him?

[cloudchaser2000]

Summary of themes from Metalocalypse

The Curse of Dethklok: Doing things yourself is brutal

Dethwater: Being on a sub with Murderface is brutal

Birthdayface: Birthdays are brutal

Dethtroll: Technology is brutal

Dethkomedy: Comedy is brutal

Dethfam: Parents are brutal.

PerformanceKlok: Therapy is brutal

Snakes n' Barrels: Reunions are brutal

Mordland: Fans are brutal

Fat Kid at the Detharmonic: Being a parent is brutal

Skwisklok: Pressure and perfectionism is brutal

Murdering Outside the Box: Being a Klokateer is brutal

Go Forth and Die: Exams are brutal

Bluesklok: Depression is brutal

Religionklok: Religion is brutal

Dethkids: Being a kid is brutal

Dethclown: Clowns are brutal

Girlfriendklok: Having an emotionally abusive partner is brutal

Dethstars: The film industry is brutal

The Metalocalypse Has Begun: Fan attacks are brutal

Dethecution: Living in fear is brutal

Dethlessons: Rivalries are brutal

Dethvengeance: Piracy is brutal

Dethdoubles: Being famous is brutal

Dethfashion: The fashion industry is brutal

Cleanso: Kicking a habit is brutal

Dethwedding: Marriage is brutal

P.R. Pickles: Publicity is brutal

Dethcarraldo: Nathan's ancestors are brutal

Dethgov: Politics is brutal

Dethrace: Driving is brutal

The Revengencers: Hospitals are brutal

Klokblocked: Being cockblocked is brutal

Dethsources: Being unappreciated is brual

Dethdad: Facing the past is brutal

Snakes n' Barrels II: Sobriety is brutal

Dethrecord: Meeting deadlines is brutal

Dethrelease: Having your house raided is brutal

Renovationklok: Moving on is brutal

Tributeklok: Poverty is brutal

Dethhealth: Going to the doctors is brutal

Dethmas: Christmas is brutal

Fatherklok: Father abandonment is brutal

Fertilityklok: Pretending to like someone is brutal

Dethsiduals: Getting a taste of your own medicine is brutal

Rehabklok: Rehab is brutal

Dethzazz: Dependence is brutal

Doublebookedklok: Being the CFO of the world's seventh largest economy is brutal

Fanklok: Fandoms are brutal

Diversityklok: Racism is brutal

Prankklok: Pranks/losing what you've worked for is brutal

Motherklok: Trying to impress hard-to-please people is brutal

Bookklok: Living in someones shadow is brutal

Writersklok: Being a woman is brutal

Dethcamp: Being bullied is brutal

Dethvanity: Aging/appearance insecurity is brutal

Going Downklok: Sexual frustration is brutal

Dethdinner: Keeping up appearances is brutal

Breakup Klok: Band breakups are brutal

Church of the Black Klok: Finding out you're part of an age-old prophecy and having to defeat an Eldritch abomination, only to have your rhythm guitarist kidnapped is brutal

Doomstar Requiem: Brotherhood is brutal

Army of the Doomstar (cancelled 6-part series finale): Having your final season cancelled is brutal

Army of the Doomstar Movie: Not reaching out for help in your time of need is brutal

[tamd3sss]

Hello Charlotte Content Warnings List For People Who Want To Play!

Special thank you to my friends Charles @c-eyler and Ben @gumsbiter for making this with me!

Enjoy and stay safe! 

Episode 1: Junk Food, Gods, and Teddy Bears: act of sucide, body horror, bug sprites/characters (maggots and cockroach), chase scenes, murder, mutilation, jumpscares, immediate death of someone in front of you, unreality (hallucinations and delusions), people watching you, mild depictions of grief, eye horror

Episode 2: Requiem Aeternam Deo: bullying, heavily implied transphobic bullying, animal death, parental abuse/neglect mentions (not direct), self harm mentions, suicide, suicidal idealization and imagery, unreality (hallucinations and delusions), grief, manipulation, abusive friendship, forced kiss, bugs, sudden loud noises, jumpscares, loss of loved ones, cannibalism, human exploitation, experimentation on humans, (fictional) skin disease, (fictional) terminal illness

Delirium gore, jumpscares, chase scenes, murder, suicide ideation, caged and experimented cameo side characters

Episode 3: Childhood’s End: suicide, idealization of suicide, self harm mentions, depictions of grief, gore, family abuse/neglect, body horror, disemberment, bullying, miscarriage and abortion, single use of ableist slur (r word), eating disorder mentions, vomiting, animal death, human experimentation, torture, ideas of someone constantly watching you, death of loved ones, death of family members, drugs (consensual and non consensual use), implied sexual assault, murder, mentions of terminal illness/cancer Heaven’s Gate: suicidal idealization and ideation, bullying, family abuse/neglect, mentioned child abuse, sexual assault, drugging, assault and attempted murder, mild nsfw mentions, cult, suicide mentions/attempt from cult, grief (Anri’s Diary) Rehab Friday: To be added when the game comes out

[organic-sprolden]

So I watched the Dear Evan Hansen movie.

Here are my basic thoughts.

I cried 3 times, and it probably would've been more if I didn't know what was coming. Although, "I didn't fall, I let go" will always get me, even if I knew what was happening and exactly when.

I liked the fact that they had a lot of the original lines from the musical because it was just so much more quotable for me and likely every other DEH fan.

I was hesitant about the new songs at first, and disappointed at the loss of the classic Good For You, Anybody have a map and Disappear (not To Break In A Glove though, that song can burn.) but in context, A Little More and Anonymous Ones were pretty great.

I really loved the new ending where we see Connor in rehab singing his song, I love how we were able to see more of just him.

Not him through the perspective of others.

Also the ending when Evan confesses what he did was sweet I suppose, but there still weren't any repercussions for his actions. Which I'm pretty sure was the whole point if them adding in that scene, rather than having the Murphy's take the entire fall.

Honestly though, I don't mind it, It's not like I wanted Evan to get all the hate in the world. I just thought that if they went through the trouble of changing the story, they'd add some actual conflict.

I was wondering why they changed the setting of each of the songs. (for example, Waving Through The Window starting in his bedroom, and not after Connor pushes him. If I Could Tell Her being in the Murphy's living room and not in his bedroom, leading to the memorable and rather unfortunate first "kiss" on Zoe's dead brother's bed.) And why sometimes the songs seemed too rushed and a little out of place, despite it coming after the same line it can after in the musical. (For example, So Big/So Small.)

Also, the musical scenes were very underwhelming. Waving Through The Window, Sincerely Me, Only Us, For Forever, So Big/So Small, Words Fail all had so much potential. Moving from stage to film opens up so many possibilities for cinematic elements that's would elevate and induce many more emotions than it previously could. The songs were basically just the person sitting in one place, singing the song, maybe with a little dialogue in between verses.

I want to see more.

I want to feel the songs, even if I already know the musical soundtrack by heart. At times it felt as though they had the songs thrown into the script just because the theatre fans would riot if their favourite musical songs weren't in the film.

Which kinda sucks.

Alana was... interesting.

I feel like I hated her less in this, but it's probably because we just didn't get to see her. Anonymous Ones is a great premise for a sing and honestly I was going to cry for the reprise, but it just didn't hit as hard as I expected it to.

However, Anonymous Ones is the only song that had that X-factor the others were missing. I love that it showed that even if you think you're alone and forgotten, there's always other people. and sometimes, you get so caught up in your head that you don't take the time to notice what's right there. Or, as the song says, "The parts we can't tell, we carry them well, but that doesn't mean they're not heavy".

The thought that "no one will understand me, everyone else has a perfect life" is honestly a little selfish but it is a thought that a lot of people have. That is what I interpret Waving Through The Window as for the most part, and Anonymous Ones is basically the opposite.

The scene where Alana walks into the gym, and we see Evan in the background was really insightful to me. I appreciate that.

Jared is another one we didn't see often, so was Heidi (but of course, that's basically her whole character.) But with Jared, we lost some of the best moments of his sarcastic/teasing personality ("School shooter chic" is the main thing coming to mind.) As is, he didn't have much personality, and no real reason to even be in the movie, other than to be someone that Evan talks to to explain things to the viewing audience.

This Zoe was unexpectedly really great. Especially how she did Requiem. I will always appreciate and fully understand her reluctancy to just join the crowd and say "He was a great guy, he will be missed". Her having the backbone to say "No, he was an awful person to me" is really inspiring. so many people that were victims to abuse feel like they should just go along with it as not to dampen the vision others had of the person, but it's not right.

So yes, this Zoe did a really good job of bringing the book Zoe to life on screen.

Speaking of the book, I wish they had included Miguel. Even if it was just as the guy at the end who sent Evan the video, I wish they would've shown just a little callback to Connor's only true friend.

I feel like bringing him back, like in the book, at the end to talk to Evan would've been so much better than Evan spilling the beans then just reading all of Connor's favourite books from when he was 13.

I will probably eventually watch this again and maybey thouts will change, but as of right now, I rate this movie 7/10 on its own, and 4/10 in relation to the musical and the book.

(there's also a whole lot more o can say about the actual message behind all of this, the issues I have with the actual plot, and the casting concerns I have but for now, an open review and discussion will do.)

[maskofmilves]

FMK

Melanie Cavill (Snowpiercer)

Penny Benjamin (Top Gun: Maverick)

Marion Silver (Requiem for a Dream)

Hmm...hi anon😦

Marry Fuck Penny

Marry Melanie

I wouldn't kill any of her characters how dare you Send Marion to rehab and I'd take care of her.

How dare you make me choose😤 *sniffs* I'd marry all of them cuz they're all actually cinnamon rolls and deserve the world so that's fair you agree anon? Right?☺️

[wittebanee]

Emily redesign

[surpriserose]

Haven't seen Evan Hansen but what was the most frustrating part 4 u?

joke answer is ready player one is crucial to the plot

serious answer the way everyone treats connor... like first of all you barely get to know anything about him until the end i guess which is a big problem. Especially because one of the only things you know before you learn hes a gamer tm because he loves reader player one is that he went to rehab. And is presumably an addict...what was he addicted to? How did it effect him? Who gives a shit it made him a monster who...threatened to kill his sister one time? which is bad im not saying it isnt but...zoes whole song no requiem is how she isn't gonna mourn for her brother because people expect her to because of stuff like that. and like...fair. but then shes like its "black and white" he wasn't "complicated" he was "bad" like...im not saying zoe's character shouldnt get this song and shouldnt have this trauma but like... it isn't black and white? I don't think its bad that her character thought that but something needed to be done to examine connor more other than everyone else talking about him and for him. and the one guy who knew him in rehab at the end who is literally just a faceless email. And also her stepdad should not also be singing the same refrain she is holy fucking shit dude??? That was your kid????????

Connor was an addict, he had trauma from having his dad die at a young age which is you know.... probably connected and the only time you see him is a scene right before he dies and him singing the words Evan and his friend wrote for him in falsified emails to give to connors parents....which is the only comedic song....everyone else....except the guy who actually died gets their big sad number including a new one written specifically for the movie for a character who did not get as much focus in the original musical. But not the guy who died, who was an addict, who had his parents GOING THROUGH HIS EMAILS??? why was that just dropped in out of no where no wonder he didnt talk to you guys wtf. Who put him in multiple rehab programs so he never really got settled? who admit they never really knew their kid? Like what the fuck?

And then they practically adopt evan as the son they never had after connor dies.....like connor was such a problem child for being an addict and evan was so easy to love because he wasnt that connors parents are willing to give evan his college fund. LIKE?????????

Addicts do bad things, trust me i know, but like....theyre suffering too you know? Especially if they're a TEENAGER??? They need help and this is just awful. For a movie that's whole thing is mental illness they don't give two shits about addiction. <- my clickbait headline if i wrote for like slate or something

[brokenhardies]

so due to me making fangs for the memories (and its subsequent fics) a partial fix it fic...

-chie manages to save avdol & iggy (not kakyoin bc im a sucker for angst)

-somehow - hol horse, oingo & boingo get redeemed (although more as a result of outside circumstances then chie’s meddling, chie attempted to get oingo & boingo redeemed and it didnt work) 

-chie’s job at the spw foundation as well as being a nurse is also being a rehab councilor but for villains; mariah is one of the villains who goes there

-jotaro is still an absent father due to his survivor’s guilt and working two jobs, however, chie often babysitted for jolyne -- she’s still very similar to how she is in canon, due to not being raised by her father. jolyne had a slightly better childhood as a result due to both chie, as well as avdol & polnareff

-polnareff manages to survive golden wind, although silver chariot requiem still activates the soul swapping throughout rome -- this however has another benefit

-whitelist bruno does still die, bc diavolo’s soul is busy doing the whole “death loop” thing, dolce manages to pull her surrogate father into diavolo’s vacant body

-i also dont know how but narancia & abbaccio survive

-even with all these changes the universe still gets reset, however, certain characters remember the pre-reset universe. this can be for good -- joey joestar from brave new world remembers his pre-reset counterpart -- or for ill -- the cult of heaven/hell use the universe resetting as a means to take over the world

[starblitz]

Dear Evan Hansen: Blind Reaction (derogatory)

Before you click the “read more” button I’d like to state we ( @simppoyo and I) absolutely hate Dear Evan Hansen and this is our first time watching the movie. If you’re a fan you can ignore this post I literally don’t care, shoo.

Bullet list of things we found completely ridiculous ft. commentary:

"Nice manicure, very school shooter chic."

"M,, sorry [naruto runs away]"

"I wish I was different 🥺 I wish I was apart of something 🥺"

"You fell out of a tree? [Stiffled laughter] That's the saddest thing I've ever heard."

"[has asthma attack in the bathroom and looks like an entire blowfish]"

"[Goes onto Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram like the true 30 year o- I mean high schooler he is]"

"This is... Connor wanted you to have this. [hands him his own letter]"

"Connor took his own life. [deadpan]"

"[Entire school gossiping about a suicide]"

"[Takes picture with the besties the day after news breaks in front of dead persons locker]"

LITERALLY THE MOST AWKWARD DINNER SCENE EVER HELP

"[Says dead brother was a bad person RIGHT AFTER HIS SUICIDE]"

"Who knew rehab could be so much fun."

Connors dad is kind of a dilf ngl

"It was just... [Breaks into song at dinner table]"

Take a shot every time Evan sings "forever"

"[Runs like a wild animal]"

"[Falls like a gmod ragdoll]"

HELP MY BOYFRIEND SAID EVAN LOOKS MANIC

"They think you're lovers you know that right 🤨"

"I rub my nipples and start moaning with delight"

"Ugh calm yourself honey🤨✋"

"[Fruity twirl]"

WHY DID HE HIT THE WOAH HELP MEJEKDHENBDMD

HELP MY BOYFRIEND SAID THIS IS US AND I SAID I'M THE GUY THAT KILLED HIMSELF

Why they dancin like those early 2000s mmd music videos

"Take that trees."

"No, Larry, she needs her parents. 👹"

Dilfy voice "I will sing no requiem😈"

"My dad uh... He lives in Colorado... He left when I was seven😃"

WHY WE POOPOOING ON LARRY ZOEY???

"Like what things? [Awkward silence]"

"I do that ironically ✋"

THIS IS SO UNCOMFORTABLE WHY IS THIS MOVIE SO FUCKING HORRENDOUS

Take more shots every time Evan sings "her"

EW EW EW EW WHY'S HE SO DISGUSTING I'M SORRY BUT I'M STILL NOT OVER HOW EVAN LOOKS LIKE AN OLD MIDDLE AGED MAN

EVAN HAS A RADIOHEAD POSTER IN HIS ROOM I'M LOSING IT

"[Shares medication information cutely as besties do]"

Me calling Alana(?) pretty for the entirety of her song

"All of us anonymous ones😈🥲😔🥺💔⛈️⛓️🔪🚬🩸💊⛈️💔🥺😔🥲😈"

"He never got invited to a single party😔🥲"

"You're so handsome😌" and it's the ugliest tie I've ever seen

"[Breathes heavily into mic] good mo🔇📣EEEE🔇good morning🔊 sorry-🔉"

HELP ME THE PEOPLE LAUGHING AT HIM ID BE LAUGHING TOO

Why is he licking his lips so much???

MY BOYFRIEND JUST DROPPED THE BOMB THAT HIS SCHOOL USED THIS SONG FOR A CHOIR CONCERT ONE YEAR??? WHAT?? HELP ME??

"[Sings in cursive] you will be fouuuUUNNDDD😩"

"His best friend died... You won't believe what he did next!" HELP ME?

[School presentation squares form Connors face like the fucking intro to Megamind]

Why is the dad crying making me emotional I hate this movie but that made me tear up a little it's literally the most emotion I've shown this entire time.

"This is just horrid 🤨" - My boyfriend

"You're gonna wanna grab some tissues 😔☝ [CUTS TO EVAN VOMITING]"

"Yeah he does..." He says as he doesn't have a dad.

WHY DOES EVAN SIT LIKE A SHRIMP HELP MF SAID 🍤🦐

HE'S JUST CONFESSING TO HIS MOM HELP THIS IS SO TENSE

"You know those aren't free!!! 👹"

Nvm he pussied out ✋

"Is your room upstairs? [Evan proceeds to give Zoey the grossiest smile ever]"

"I like u cuz... U." Wow that's crazy Shakespeare.

EW GROSS TOUCHING ZOEY DON'T TOUCH HIM HE'S GOT MAD UGLY DISEASE

Imagine how awkward...you're a ghost and you see your sister and "best friend" becoming a couple... I'd off myself x2

HE'S GOT Y@OI HANDS BYE

THEY KISSED AND HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S 30 AND THE ACTRESS FOR ZOEY LOOKS LIKE SHE'S IN JUNIOR HIGH I'M SO UNCOMFORTABLE

Not another dinner scene I can't take this it's so awkward

Evans mom is such a bitch 🤨

SHE DID NOT JUST POST THAT LETTER... GIRL????? LMAO

"ARE THEY GONNA ARREST THE INTERNET????!!"

The way he's coming clean through song is fucking sending us

"🐳WoOOOoORDs🐬 fAil🐋"

HE'S SUCH AN UGLY CRIER IT'S SO SCARY

Some of this is shot like a horror movie it's so bizarre

NOT THE MOM SINGING NOW

My boyfriend momentarily scooches his cat out of his room and I just hear "mEEWw"

"Mom isn't goin anywhere 👹🚬[smokers lung]"

Evan's "YouTuber Apology" ensues

SHUT UP I AM NOT TEARING UP AGAIN OVER CONNOR SINGING AND HIS FAMILIES REACTION I'M NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING FUCK YOU

"[Squeezes knee]"

BYE WHY DID THEY FORGIVE HIM

I hate this fucking movie man

Dear Evan Hansen more like Die Evan Hansen

The credits was the best part to the movie tbh.

"YOu wiLL be fOIUUnFdD🐋🐋🐋🐋" and I reply "dude your MOM will be found... In my bed tonight OHHHH🔊🔇"

US LOSING IT OVER SOMEONE NAMED "LUCY BUTT" AND MY BOYFRIEND SAYS "NO WONDER THERE'S SOMEONE NAMED BUTT THIS MOVIE WAS ASS" HELP ME

Final Thoughts:

Horrid.🥰😍

[pheacas]

A Few Words on Zoe and Connor Murphy

I was just scrolling through my feed, and still having the post about “the worst takes” on Dear Evan Hansen I commented on mixed with a recent post I saw (and one of my Connor posts blowing up suddenly), I wanted to talk a little more on Connor and Zoe Murphy in Dear Evan Hansen, and some of the fandom’s interpretations and views on them. It isn’t the most analytical thing (because there’s certainly a lot more I could talk about but don’t really have the energy to because this topic isn’t my favorite because it’s very heavy and complicated), but just a quick little discussion of a couple of points in particular that really, genuinely upset me.

TW for abuse and mention of suicide

The most upsetting thing to me is when people imply that Zoe was exaggerating Connor’s treatment towards her. When Zoe snaps about Connor trying to punch through her door and screaming that he was going to kill her, Cynthia doesn’t contradict her. Even though she is shown to be very defensive of her son, she doesn’t point out that Zoe is embellishing anything about Connor. If she had been, Cynthia would have pointed it out. But, instead, she brushes over it. Because she knows that happened, but she doesn’t want to actively acknowledge her son’s wrongdoings because that’s, well, her son. Requiem is also Zoe by herself, expressing her honest opinions, and the fact that she does have problems mourning and actively sees her brother as a monster, along with calling him a psychopath in WTAW and a bad person before For Forever, and cannot fathom the fact that he could have been someone’s friend, I think says a lot that some people that are in the mindset of Cynthia just… Don’t want to admit.

We see Connor’s explosive temper in every scene he’s alive. We see him leaving every interaction snapping (or at least talking rather rudely, in AHAM’s case) at someone, with him physically hurting Evan before WTAW. People just fail to acknowledge this because, again, they’re viewing him much in a way Cynthia does. They want to ignore his wrongdoings, when, from everything we learn from others, he simply was not a perfect angel. In a way, there were moments with a little bit of light as well, seeing Connor attempt to apologize to Evan (which I don’t think is just because he “felt bad” necessarily, although it’s more personal takes at that point (I’d say his sister possibly scolded him for his actions after she spoke with Evan)). That one action cannot speak for or vindicate every bad thing that Connor is implied (or we see) to have done, though, and just because he took his own life doesn’t mean that he can be exonerated of his negative actions. He isn’t an uwu baby or son.

I do believe Connor could have changed. It wouldn’t have been right away, but if he actively worked at it (since it is implied he went to therapy and rehab, but didn’t seem to truly get better (which some part of that can also go to Cynthia and Larry, with Cynthia not enforcing and rules which let Connor continue to be destructive to himself and everyone around him and Larry for him not being very supportive and seeing those things as “miracle cures,” which the parents are a whole different discussion on their own)), he could have become a better person. But I don’t think he was before that. All we truly know about the Connor we see is he was an addict, abusive, and mentally unstable, with a bit of him who wanted to try and at least be civil with others. His story is tragic, most certainly, and I think it is important to acknowledge he was still a kid who had a lot of growing and change he had to do, and we can’t ignore all of the bad he did.

Evan and Jared’s creation is nothing more than fantasy (and even their version of Connor becomes a dick in Evan’s head). It isn’t real. That isn’t Connor. That is purposely made to make Evan look better, so, as a result, Connor was made to look better, too. And we can’t call anyone else in the show a bad person and fail to acknowledge what Connor did.

TL;DR: Stop defending abusers and believe the victims.

[xiaolinhodown]

here it is!  a very long bio/info thing about my metalocalypse oc, hazel!!! read more at your own risk, its very long haha (also warning for short, non-graphic mentions of abuse)

Hazel Mae Parker Age: 27 When she first encounters Dethklok Height: 5’5 Birthday: April 8th (Aries) Gender: Female, she/her pronouns Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual Personality: Hazel is a fairly quiet and meek girl, which shocks people considering the position she has at her job and the progress shes made in her career and in school. Despite this shyness, she does have a lot of motivation and was always very careful with her grades. However, she has very low self confidence and is always beating herself up about not being good enough. She’s also quick to do what she thinks she needs to do to please people, and is easily manipulated because of that reason. She has a lot of anxieties about herself and just in general, but as she ages, takes more care of her mental health.  She enjoys working, and can easily overwork herself without noticing. She often relies on others to tell her when she needs to take a break, or she’d keep working forever. 

Bio:

Hazel was born to a middle class family in the suburbs of a small town in Washington state. She was always discontent with her place in this small town, and wished for a bigger experience. As she went through grade school, she realized her passion for writing, specifically journalism. She joined her high schools news paper club and ended up as president of it in her senior year. In order to escape her small town, she went to college in California. Academically, she did very well in almost all of her classes. She joined the newspaper club on campus. This is where she discovered her love for writing about pop culture-related current events. She had always followed a path to write about world news, but writing for the pop culture section in the school paper taught her otherwise. The article that really started her progress in the journalistic world was a critical piece on the band Zazz Blammymatazz’s own Rockso the Rock and Roll Clown, who had recently been bombarded by a heap of scandals. The blunt and well-scripted article caught the attention of POP USA, a pop-culture magazine that was somewhat well-known. The manager of the pop culture section offered her an internship, which turned into a full time job once Hazel graduated college. She began living and working in her college town. Fresh out of college, Hazel met Marlow, who was a barista at the coffee shop that was embedded in the POP USA office building. They began to talk and eventually began dating. After a couple months together, Marlow began to become emotionally abusive towards Hazel. To her, it seemed like it was going in a physical direction. Not only was Marlow just an abusive man, but an insecure and jealous one. The core of his abuse stemmed from convincing Hazel that she didn’t deserve her position in the company- he couldn’t handle that he was a barista while she was a writer for the magazine.This abuse caused her work to falter. After about a year trapped in the relationship, Hazel’s boss, Jericho sat down and asked her about her performance. Hazel took a chance and admitted what had been going on. Jericho swiftly took action, and had Marlow fired. Although Marlow was away from her workplace, Hazel still held post-traumatic stress and anxiety that he was stalking her. About half a year after this occurred, things bigger than Hazel and the worlds biggest band, Dethklok, were happening. The Tribunal, eager to bring down Dethklok in any way they could, hatched a plan to plant a seed in the Mordhaus. They contacted the CEO of POP USA, and offered a generous sum of money to risk killing a journalist that would record data about Dethklok over a period of two weeks. The Tribunal had suffered loss after loss, and now believed that even petty information about the band members lives would be more helpful than dead recruits from the past. To make the mission as secretive as possible, the CEO kept the true purpose of this job a secret. Hazel was terrified when the CEO called her to his office, but ecstatic when he assigned her to essentially live with Dethklok for two weeks. Hazel was never a hardcore fan of the band, but she was obviously still excited to work with them. She was sent to Mordhaus to begin her mission, under the guise that she was doing a piece entitled “Life With Dethklok.” The band was confused by the sudden addition of a woman who wasn’t there just to have sex with or become a Klokateer. However they did enjoy her company, and of course, loved that she gave them reason to talk (brag) about themselves. Charles Offdenson was naturally skeptical. Through his own gut feelings and some private investigation, he discovered this was just yet another plan to destroy his bread and butter. However, after an intimidating questioning of Hazel (as well as more digging) he realized she genuinely had no clue about the true nature of this mission. He informed her about what was going on (vaguely, as in “there’s a lot of people who want Dethklok’s money and power, and uh, unfortunately you got caught up in one of those plans.”). He also informed her that she was welcome to stay in Mordhaus for a bit, so she and more importantly Dethklok would be safe. She agreed, and under Charles’ help and supervision, continued to keep contact with the POP USA CEO about the mission. Another aspect of her time in Mordhaus was hiding from her abusive ex. Fortunately, she was being heavily protected by Charles’ efforts, but she was still concerned about her name getting out. She gets fearful once she starts seeing Marlow at meet-and-greets, concerts, and signing events. However, once she brings this up to the band, they don’t hesitate to keep her protected as well. 

Relationship Information:

Nathan: Hazel and Nathan had a very malleable relationship for the better half of 2 years. They started off having sex somewhat regularly, as Hazel’s interviews would turn into flirting, which turned into… you know! Hazel especially had no problem with this once she realized the true nature of her “mission”. Other than that, though, Nathan and Hazel share a strong bond over another thing - abusive exes. Once Nathan catches Hazel in a panic attack, she tells him her story and in turn, Nathan shares his about his abusive ex girlfriends that he so often seems to attract. Although Nathan is much less prone to showing actual emotion, he does open up a bit in order to help Hazel, and for Hazel to help him. Further into their relationship, they become very platonic, and eventually almost like siblings. Pickles: Hazel and Pickles essentially just co-exist in a friendly way. They don’t interact that often, but it’s obvious at times that they respect and care for each other. Pickles understands Hazels anxiety issues and helps her through those, while Hazel tries to help him through his worst drinking binges. She knows she doesn’t have the hold on him to get him to rehab, but she does bring it up and also shares that concern with Nathan and the others. Skwisgaar: HOOOOO BOY. Hazel and Skwisgaar. Of course, when Hazel first arrives at Mordhaus, Skwisgaar starts flirting with her, which she immediately responds to (again, especially after Charles tells her that this job is kind of a sham). Hazel gets a crush on Skwisgaar pretty early on, but because of her anxiety about relationships and commitment, she’s fine in the current set up and holds her feelings back. Where it gets complicated is when Skwisgaar, about a year into knowing Hazel, realizes he has feelings for her. He recognizes that they have had many intimate talks about their pasts, and all of their present concerns, and that he has never truly felt this way about any of his other friends with benefits. He didn’t just see her as a co-worker, but a friend and someone to confide in. However, due to his fears of commitment, he also held back his feelings.  Things change after the events of Doomstar Requiem, where the boys face their own mortality, including Skwisgaar who is older and wiser at this point. He realizes that he, his friends, nor Hazel, are guaranteed life every day, and he finally confesses his feelings to Hazel, who of course, reciprocates them. Due to their combined insecurities, they make sure to take it slow with each other, and are forgiving of each others mistakes. The relationship works well because they both know how it feels to be scared, and are so understanding of each other and willing to help each other grow. They stay together for about 6 years before they get married. They end up having two children.  Murderface: Murderface and Hazel also tend to coexist with eachother, but in a more hostile and passive-aggressive fashion. Murderface typically is a little rude to her and dubs her presence in the Mordhaus as intrusive, annoying, and claims shes just there for sex and money. Hazel kind of understood Murderface’s personality early on in their relationship, and therefore didn’t really get upset at his bad attitude. Hazel tends to try to help him as well, putting out good press for him when he puts the band’s reputation in jeopardy. Their relationship and understanding improves over the years, but it does take time. Toki: Hazel absolutely adores Toki, and often goes to him for childlike humor and solice when the cynical nature of the other four begins to get to her. Like Nathan, Toki has plenty of history with abuse, and tends to console in Hazel with that, as she does withhim. Neither of them are professionals, and therefore they just are there to listen to each other and say they understand. Toki, despite being the more childish one of the two, takes his role as being older than her seriously, and therefore can often be seen “protecting his little sister” from danger in and outside of Mordhaus. Hazel also often tries to soothe Toki when he enters his more violent state, and succeeds occasionally when he’s not too far gone. Otherwise she usually ends up getting scratched a little herself. Charles: Hazel is a little intimidated by Charles, but appreciates the protection he works hard to give her (even though he provides it for the band more than for her). They get along very well for the most part, other than the occasional disagreement or teasing from Hazel to Charles. Charles appreciates that Hazel is able to help the band’s image so well, and will often request for her to stage PR events when the band is in need of some good press. Charles also sees that Hazel does genuinely make the boys happy, and is glad to keep her safe and protected for that reason (not to mention its someone else for them to bother about things).