#replacement might be more cost-effective.

[emergencyplumbingil]

Signs Your Garbage Disposal Needs Repair or Replacement. A garbage disposal can be a convenient kitchen appliance, but when it starts acting up, it can be a major inconvenience. Here are some signs that your garbage disposal might need attention:

Signs of a Failing Garbage Disposal: Abnormal Noises: While garbage disposals are typically loud, unusual sounds like grinding, humming, or whining are often signs of trouble. Frequent Resets: If you're constantly hitting the reset button, there might be an underlying issue. Inexplicable Clogs: Frequent clogs can indicate a problem with the disposal itself. No Power: If the disposal doesn't turn on at all, there might be an electrical or motor issue. Persistent Odors: A foul smell coming from the disposal even after cleaning can be a sign of a deeper problem. Leaks: Water leaking from around the disposal is a clear indication of a problem. Poor Performance: If the disposal is taking longer to grind food or isn't grinding it effectively, it might be time for repair or replacement. When to Consider Replacement: Age: If your disposal is over 10 years old, it might be nearing the end of its lifespan. Multiple Repairs: If you've had to repair the disposal several times, replacement might be more cost-effective. Severe Damage: If the disposal is severely damaged or has sustained significant wear and tear, replacement is often necessary.

If you're unsure about the cause of the problem or the best course of action, it's always a good idea to consult a professional plumber. They can diagnose the issue and provide expert advice on repair or replacement.

[whereserpentswalk]

Choose a transformation to permanently alter your body and remove your humanity.

1: get infected with lycanthrope (being bitten is the easiest way, but the curse can also be passed on through blood transfusions, or other bodily fluids). You'll be able to turn into a wolf any night when the moon shines, and you'll be compelled to when the moon is full. The other werewolves are likely to accept you into their community under most circumstances.

2: enter a local ufo to be turned into a cyborg. The visitors are dying to find a human who'll let you do this to them, and you might just be the one. Parts of your body will be replaced with strange and unknowable technology, thousands of years more advanced than what your backwater planet has. Who knows what you'll become, but it certainly won't be human.

3: allow a demon to possess you. While this sounds bad at first, most demons aren't actually sentient beings, but just semi sentient balls emotions. When they possess you it'll still be your mind and personality, just enhanced with the demon's emotions and desires, given its abilities. You'll also probably start looking more like what people consider a demon to look like after awhile, weather that be a body with horns and scales like the classic devil look, or something more animalistic, or even something more eldrich.

4: let the faeries play with you. This is a risky one but they're looking to be entertained by a cute little human to do things to. Who knows what they'll do to you, but we can be quite certain it'll be something very very interesting.

5: permanently psychically bond to a wyvern through the dreaming. For generations humans have done this to become wyvern riders, though rider is an odd term as your minds will be linked, you'll be able to know what it's feeling as well as it's sensations, and possibly even be able to control it directly with enough time, as easily as you'd control your own body. Though the wyvern and dreaming may effect you to, you'll likely become more creative and have more vivid dreams, at the cost of your ability to fit in with much of human society. Your body will also likely become more youthful, slender and androgynous, and may even take on wyvern like traits like slit pupils or sharp teeth.

6: permanently hybridize yourself with an animal of your choice. It's useally done with mammals for compatibility reasons, but it might work with anything. This is a slow process, involving weekly injections of Phlebotinum, and you'll get more and more like the animal you choose over the course of many months. There's no actual end limit to how long you can inject the Phlebotinum for, only a few weeks for some animal features, about a year for a 50/50 split, and if you never stop taking it ever you'll end up just becoming an animal of your choice. Be warned, it's a one way trip, so while you can always become less human, you can never reverse the changes.

7: be melted into a slime. Not much more to say about it. It'll probably be the most alien your physical form can become, as you'll have no solid body parts anymore, just an amorphous mass to move around. Natrual born slimes may be suspicious of you.

8: get bitten by a vampire and become a vampire yourself. You'll get most of the powers, from strength, to healing, to not needing sleep or food, along with the requirements to drink blood, and the weakness to silver and sunlight (you still can go out in the sun, but it won't be a pleasant experience). Your body will also change a lot, losing any sex characteristics, gaining red eyes and completely desaturated skin, and becoming extremely emaciated looking. Your mouth will also be able to shift at will between a humanoid shape, and a massive horrifying maw with huge fangs and strange mouth parts for drinking blood. There's likely a vampiric community around who'll accept you.

9: become a digital only being. You won't just be transforming your body, you'll be getting rid of it. Your entire vision will display what you'd usually see on a computer monitor, and you'll be able to type and move the mouse as easily as you can move your body now. You'll be entirely online without anything human to worry about.

10: become a spiritual being. Like a less online version of the last option. You'll become a spirit, without a body to worry about. You can't touch things, but you can move them psychically. You can also choose who can or can't see you, and how you appear to people.

11: have your entire body replaced by the cloth witches. They're always looking for humans to do this to. Every part of you will be replaced with artificial materials, usually you'll get a metal skeleton, stuffing for filling, and either cloth or plastic for your skin, like a doll of some sort but big and alive. You won't have to worry about a lot of the body things like dying or being tired or in pain, but be warned, you'll have to repair yourself with new material if damaged.

(Hey, I had to delete the first version of this poll and reupload it because of something on the old post setting off my silly little trauma. I feel like such an awful person for this, I'm sorry. But yeah, please reblog and interact with this version instead.)

[ravencincaide]

Blurred lines 

Summary:  Having grown up together there were few lines you and Chuuya hadn’t crossed. But maybe that was a naive way of thinking OR the time your familiar banter was replaced with a ‘caring’ threat, which hid an almost carnal need.  

Pairing: Best friends! Fem reader x Chuuya Nakahara

Inspired by sweetober prompt 21: Bathing 

Warnings: Cursing & alcohol, nudity, banter, inappropriate behavior/ very light sexual content.

Enjoy?

“You have got to be fucking kidding me!�� 

You held back a smirk as you studied the glass of wine in your hand and purposefully twirled the red liquid an extra time to bring out more of its sweet notes. Satisfied that you aerated it enough, you finally raised it to your lips. Then; “ haven’t you heard of never entering a lady’s bathroom, especially when she’s taking a bath?” you asked, obviously faking anger. As if to hammer your point across you half-heartedly shifted the thick sea of bubbles over yourself. In reality neither shy nor bothered by being naked in front of him, but you did need to keep appearances if you intended to get away with your scolding. 

This time it was Chuuya who rolled his eyes at you.“ I see no lady, just a goddamn brat who made me freeze in soaked, icy clothes while she leisured about in a hot bath sipping on wine” he snapped, stormy blue eyes narrowed dangerously at you.   

Clearly, you did not get away with your scolding. 

“ Hey! I said you can shower in the spare bathroom.” You defended yourself. Neither of you bothered to point out that said shower was shoe-sized, with broken tiles and barely any water pressure. Good enough for cleaning off blood and gore without dragging it everywhere, but that was about all it was good for. 

Definitely far below a sophisticated creature like Chuuya.  

“ Whatever, move over so I can have some space” Chuuya sighed as he began prying off the wet clothes which stuck to him like second skin. He managed to get his coat, hat and vest off in one go before the struggle began. After a few moments he let out a curse as his frozen fingers couldn’t quite get the buttons of his dress-shirt off. 

“  You know it might go better if you take your drenched gloves off, right?” you suggested, earning yourself a dark glare. 

“ A Lady should avert her eyes when a man is stripping” Chuuya’s voice was something between teasing and annoyed; typical banter that made up the majority of your conversations. Still he threw off his gloves to the side, clearly following your advice. 

Unsurprisingly, stripping went much better for him after that. 

“ Please, I've seen your micro penis already. There’s not much else to see” you waved your hand dismissively. Despite your words you leaned against the bathtub, your gaze on the wall as you took another large sip of wine. You were going to give him privacy; but only for the sake of your sanity. 

“ We were children!” Chuuya growled as he finally wrestled out of the shirt. “ Anyway look at yourself, idiot” 

“ I don’t have a penis, dumbass!” you scoffed.

“ No, thank fuck for that or you’d ruin it somehow with your idiocy; you’ve got any mans and womans dream- big boobs, and you still manage to make them look like deflated baloons!” 

You gaped at him, eyes wide. “ How fucking dare you?!” you growled before you slapped your arm against the water, splashing him with warmth and bubbles. Effectively soaking his socks before he managed to move out of the way of the soap-water attack.   

“ Hey stop that” Chuuya pointed a warning finger at you. “ These pants cost more than your yearly wages and they don’t do well with bath-water” 

You rolled your eyes and slapped your arm down into the water once more, this time  you made sure to drench at least one of the pant legs: “ Well what do they say? The uglier you are, the more expensive clothes you need to hide that?” 

“ No one says that besides you, you dimwit,” Chuuya stated as he came over and flickered your forehead with a little too much force. 

You wailed, dropping your head into your hand. You clutched it in pain; eyes tightly shut. You waited until the stars in your eyes subsided before you fixed him with a dark glare; “ Ow what the fuck? That hurt!”  

By then Chuuya had slipped into the bathtub and leaned against the opposite side, one arm laid against the edge, the second one twirled the bottle in his hand, salvaging the fragrance for a moment. He deemed it satisfactory and flashed you the look.“ Hey, give me that!”  Chuuya stretched his hand out towards you, clearly expecting you to hand over your wine glass. After all, he wasn’t a barbarian who’d drink straight from a wine bottle. 

“ I’m still drinking from that glass, Hey–!” you called out as he yoinked the glass right out of your grasp, filled it up as he flashed you a grin as if to say ‘which glass? This one?’ before he took a sip from it. You noticed that his lips landed on the same spot you drank from- the place where the reminisce of your lipgloss stained the rim.  

You could have sworn something shifted in his gaze as he stared at you; something which matched the soft pinkness of his cheeks. The pinkness which came from the heat of the bathroom and bathwater- right? You shook your head at your own pathetic thoughts. This was Chuuya of all people; of course he’d do something like that just to spite you. To get a rise out of you for his own amusement. The fact that you thought something else even for a second indicated that you must be more tipsy than you first thought. Especially if you even toyed with the idea that there may be a hidden meaning in his stare besides a threat of payback for his ruined pants. 

You rolled your eyes then looked away from him, breaking eye contact first. 

“Whatever, you’re still just a stupid jerk” You sighed before you turned your back to him and pressed yourself up against the corner of the bathtub. You rested your arms on the edge, and leaned your head on top of them. You closed your eyes, salvaging the warmth of the water against your skin and the natural lull in the conversation. With no wine, and no banter, just resting was the best way to prevent overthinking. 

“ Oj don’t fall asleep on me; I’m not saving you if you drown out of your own stupidity” Chuuya said, as he was finally finished with your wine glass. You heard the gentle cling of it against the bathtub as he set it on the edge on his side instead of giving it back to you. Jerk. 

You showed exactly what you thought of him by reaching up and flipping him the bird. 

This earned you a heavy sigh; “ God you’re unbearable at times, you know that?” his voice sounded different in your ears, a tone you didn’t quite recognize. You shrugged it off, no doubt it was your drunken mind playing tricks on you again. Or maybe he was just trying to coax a reaction out of you which he could hold over your head for later teasing. You were not gonna fall for that old trick. Even as you heard the shift of water and sensed him come closer, you remained calm, relaxed, eyes firmly shut. 

Until you felt his chest hit your back, his arms caged you on either side, hot breath in your ear. You froze at the proximity; was it his leg that brushed against yours beneath the surface of the water or..? If possible Chuuya came closer, his breath a hot whisper in your ear; “ You’re still so naive, leaving yourself all defenseless and vulnerable, letting a man into the bathtub with you; Don’t do it again- or next time things might not end so innocently.” 

You gaped, then shook your head not believing what you just heard. “ W-What are you–?!” you spun around to face him but by then Chuuya had already stepped out of the bathtub, wrapped a towel around his waist and was half way out of the door. He did not spare you a second glance. 

“ Chuu?” You called out carefully, still in shock. 

Instead of answering, Chuuya took the last step out of the bathroom and closed the door firmly yet gently behind himself. He left you completely alone in the half cold bath waters. The action made you wonder if all that had actually happened, or if this was another one of those times when your drunk mind decided to play tricks on you, when it tempted you with something you knew would never be..

Authors note: Don't ask me what the hell this is and I'll not ask you why you're reading such questionable Chuuya content, deal? And for those of you wondering how the hell this could even begin to be "normal behaviour", mixed onsen is all I'm going to say..

[commsroom]

considering hera's canon disability, i think there's something interesting about the presumably short lifespans of goddard AIs. each generation of sensus units seems to be on a development cycle of about three years, and the gen zero units - rhea among them - were less than a decade old. there's nothing to say that an older AI will necessarily be replaced by a newer one, and it's entirely possible goddard maintains and upgrades the functionality of at least some, but there's no sentimentality to it. the fact remains that AIs do not have lives outside their jobs, and their ability to keep those jobs depends entirely on being the most reliable, effective, and cost-efficient option. think about the life cycle of real-world technology. these are people for whom the right to repair and access to healthcare are the same thing, and there's something in that about planned obsolescence and the way capitalist systems treat human people like disposable objects - particularly, again, with regard to disability, and lines of work where it's a high risk.

and i'm interested in hera and embodiment from that angle. because people like her don't tend to live that long - there's no way of even knowing if a regular human lifespan will be possible for her - and the idea of her having a body is uncharted territory with even more uncertainty attached. people will tell her that. that her body could reject her, that she might not have mobility, that it might make her pain worse, that it might not work at all. that, even if it does, she probably won't live very long that way. and she might have difficulty, and pain, and, yes, she will still be disabled. but she will go on to live another thirty or forty years longer than anyone told her would be possible, and get so used to normal, comfortable everyday things that she'll take them for granted. that's what i want for her.

[dungeon-strugglers]

✨New item!✨ Wings of the Raven Wondrous item, legendary (requires attunement by a cleric or paladin)

This long black cloak is made from raven plumage, and is a gift from the Goddess of Death to her most devout servants.

Sentience. Wings of the Raven is a sentient lawful neutral cloak with an Intelligence of 14, a Wisdom of 16, and a Charisma of 15. It has hearing and darkvision out to a range of 120 feet, and its passive Perception is 18. The cloak communicates telepathically with its wielder and can speak, read, and understand Common, Elvish, Sylvan and Abyssal.

Personality. A fey spirit named Fin Dòmhnallan inhabits the Wings of the Raven. The cloak is protective and inquisitive. It demands that its wielder follow the Goddess of Death's will, and to always take a trinket or memento from the fallen as tribute to her.

Twilight Bond. You have a +1 bonus to AC while wearing this cloak. This bonus increases to +2 when you are in dim light or darkness. 

Death Sense. While wearing the cloak, your awareness of life and death is greatly enhanced. While you are within 30 feet of a creature that you can see, you are able to tell if it is healthy (more than half hit points), bloodied (less than half hit points), dying (zero hit points), diseased, dead, undead or neither (such as a construct). This ability cannot be deactivated while wearing this cloak, knowledge of life and death becomes your constant companion.

Corvid Comradery. While wearing this cloak you can communicate with ravens and crows, and you have advantage on Charisma checks to influence them.

Raven Form. As an action while wearing this cloak, you can use your Channel Divinity to shapechange into a giant raven. The transformation lasts until you use a bonus action to return to your normal form, or until you drop to 0 hit points or die. Your statistics are replaced with the statistics of a giant raven, but you retain your alignment, personality, languages, hit points, proficiency bonus and Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma scores. You also retain all of your skill and saving throw proficiencies, in addition to gaining those of a giant raven. You can cast any spells that don’t require material components with a cost while in giant raven form. Your equipment merges into your new form and has no effect until you return to your normal form. You still benefit from the cloak’s magical properties while in giant raven form. The giant raven uses the statistics of a giant eagle, but it has darkvision out to 120 feet, resistance to necrotic damage, bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing damage from nonmagical attacks, and its natural attacks deal an extra 1d8 radiant or necrotic damage (your choice). This extra damage is increased to 2d8 against undead or creatures with less than half of their maximum hit points. If you reduce a creature to 0 hit points while in giant raven form, you can take a bonus action to move up to half your speed and make a melee attack. Additionally, necromantic magic is suppressed within 60 feet of your giant raven form. Undead creatures have disadvantage on saving throws and a creature attempting to cast a spell from the school of necromancy must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw against your spell save DC or the spell fails while within this area.

Those who have proven themselves dedicated to preserving the sanctity of mortality are blessed with dark insight and formidable might. The Goddess of Death calls upon her champion to hunt necromancers and their abhorrent, death-defying spawn. Where her gaze falls the land darkens under the wings of a thousand ravens and undead creatures cower in the unkind shadows. - 🖌🎨 Like our work? Consider supporting us on Patreon and gain access to the hi-resolution art for over 170 magic items, item cards and card packs, beautiful creature art and stat blocks and setting pdfs with narrative hooks and unique lore!🧙‍♂️

📜 Credit. Art and design by us: the Dungeon Strugglers. Please credit us if you repost elsewhere.

[mittch22]

Prison in the world of Cars

So Im currently in the process of writing chapter 8 of Behind Blue Eyes and said chapters' content has got me thinking about the various minutiae of prison systems within this universe. Here is my take on it.

Speed restrictors - In order to prevent any kind of escape attempt, speed restrictors would be fitted to inmates with a high flight risk to prevent any speed being reached above about thirty miles per hour. In some cases, it could be deemed necessary to decrease speed potential even further for the most dangerous offenders. But the use of these devices comes with a significant quantity of government regulation to prevent their misuse. The fitting of restrictors can cause engine issues in the long run and shouldn't be used without prior approval from a court.

Parking boots - Wheel cuffs. I needn't say much more than that. No moving for you! They can be used on both front wheels, both back wheels or all four wheels depending on requirement. But one or three parking boots should never be utilised as this can cause serious damage to the detainee if they were to try and drive.

Extension restraints - For particulary strong and violent offenders, axle extension restraints can be applied. Parking boots are the go-to for prisoner transport, which are heavy and cumbersome. But for strong vehicles who want to get a few punches in, the use of parking boots can be particularly hazardous to police officers. So these restraints can be utilised to prevent any damage to other vehicles or property that could be caused by the detainee.

Deep tread tyres - It would be damaging to a vehicle to force them to roll around on tyres with deliberately low pressure. So to increase drag for inmates, a thicker tyre tread is used. This has the added bonus of reducing the amount of replacements required during sentence duration, thus cutting down on costs. Although the tyres used increase the vehicles ability to grip into the floor and push or pull, the officers that respond to any issues with the prisoners within their care are usually able to subue them rapidly and effectively. Prison tyres are ugly and not comfortable to drive on.

Chemically engineered paint - With technological advancements and genius chemical engineering, the paint used on inmates is very specific and can be picked up from quite a distance away with the use of police scanners. It holds its own unique chemical formula that lights up like a christmas tree when scanned with the appropriate digital equipment. The colour is also utilised as a tell-tale sign as it is a highly distinctive and vibrant orange; the only orange paint of its kind. This paint can only be purchased for prisons, by prisons. To be in possession of this paint without the appropriate licensing carries both a hefty fine and a prison sentence. So if an unlicensed vehicle is caught with it, they will very quickly be wearing it. The chemical does, however, hold the unfortunate capacity to seep into and embed itself into the surface of metal through layers of paint, meaning that, even if a vehicle is released and repainted (repainted on the offenders dime might I add), they will still be picked up on police scanners. This leads them to be regularly stopped and questioned by police officers. This can be incredibly irritating to both parties, however it does allow officers to keep an eye on offenders that are on probation. Vehicles that are permitted to be external to the prison whilst on remand are sprayed with just the traceable chemical component of the paint, which is invisible to the naked eye. A small stencil is utilised in the form of the sigil of the police force that made the arrest. This makes them traceable to police, but prevents civilians from seeing that said vehicle could be facing criminal charges. For those that can afford the expensive procedure, this chemical is removeable by removing all layers of paint and primer and grinding down the surface layer of the bare metal. This can be painful, so a general anaesthetic is provided.

Fuel quantity control - As previously displayed in the first cars movie, fuel quantity is important when you want to try and escape from the cruel clutches of community service. The same principal can apply in prisons. Fuel intake is heavily regulated and no inmate is usually permitted any more than 1/8 to 1/6 of a tank at any time. There are exceptions to this in regards to specific jobs that inmates perform as some will require larger quantities to perform their duties. Which is usually met with seething envy.

GPS locators - This method is even more heavily restricted than the use of speed restrictors as it violates multiple data protection laws and vehicle rights legislation. However, in the correct circumstances, it can be very useful. This is only ever used for vehicles that are both incredibly dangerous and have a high flight risk.

Remote engine inhibition - A vehicles engine can be shut down at the push of a button after modifications to the programming of the ECU have been made. This method of inmate control is incredibly new and still in its theoretical stages and thus it is still being debated whether or not it is viable and vehmane. Considering its highly intrusive nature and possibly damaging consequences to both the escapee and the general public, if it were ever to pass into legislation, its useage would be very rare indeed.

Medical care - Each vehicle within the prison system must have a three monthly check up with a desigated mechanic and all new inmates must be checked once a week for the duration of three months. Considering high depression rates within prison systems, a lot of vehicles, especially first time offenders, will stop consuming oil due to stress. This can lead to sickness and fever/overheating, which causes severe issues in the long run.

Not all of the above restraint/tracking methods will be used in all cases as it will depend highly on sentencing requirements for specific individuals and the type of prison that they end up in.

I might update this at a later date if I think of anything else to add. But so far, this is all I've got.

In a nutshell, its INSANELY difficult for any vehicle to escape a prison. So Miles Axelrod is pretty fucked.

[wygolvillage]

everything in tumblrmart is fucking useless.

1. every badge

beyond how useless paying money for a tiny png of a checkmark is, there is also no need to pay in the first place. one can easily get the url of the image and then- wouldn’t you know it- inject it into the html of my blog theme and eaily be “verified” without paying. you can do this with whatever images you want. i did it to prove a point. you can also use html to get a gif icon btw

this only shows up on your custom theme but who give a shit

also bonus points for “tumblr supporter” being a subscription service that gets you the same shit as other badges LOL. you can also steal these and inject them into your blog

2. that one cool moon badge

yeah, love the concept, but its been done before. i posted about this when i found out about the badge, but https://www.moonconnection.com/moon_module_2.phtml allows you to easily have a similar effect with a live updating moon phases widget. that’s completely free, and doesn’t cost 6 WHOLE DOLLARS

3. ad free

yeah im not even gonna engage with this one, adblock is free, ublock origin is awesome, dont pay money for this

4. horse friend

“surely there isnt a replacement for a fully interactive virtual pet” you might say but you would be wrong. let me introduce you to GIFYPET!!!! https://gifypet.neocities.org/ has all the features you would want, as well as a fun slots minigame and it’s fully customizable, so you can put in your own custom graphics and more. there is nothing that horse friend has over gifypet, apart from poop i guess. gifypet does not have horse poop. also the horse friend only lasts for a month and is like $8

5. crabs

ok this one is the only product thats actually somewhat unique. but iirc you’re still only paying for 24 hours and can only gift it, so ymmv

but also... given the evidence that theyve given up on tumblrs upkeep entirely (the staff letter), paying for these arent even contributing to keeping the site online, so they dont even have value in the context of keeping tumblr alive. theyre already slowly pulling the plug.

dont buy this stuff.

[vy-canis-melodis]

the following is a blog post, written by tanja, in the Bird HRT universe:

UPDATE and a cancelled article!

Hi all, it's been a long time since my last blog post. Here's the deal; I was in hospital. Long story short, some things went pretty wrong, and here I am, having to deal with a huge backwards step in progress then having had to retrace those steps with additional gooey complications and therapy.

Anyway, here's a journalistic article I was pretty close to finishing and submitting to actual newspapers before everything went down and I had to cancel it.

Rejecting Humanity - Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Just Be Myself

As I write this, I'm sitting in the waiting room of a Hospital cross Research Laboratory in London. By the time you're reading this, I'll have been on my treatment journey for over a year. What treatment, you ask? Well, it's Humanity Removal Therapy. One year ago, I undertook a radical new procedure which slowly transforms you from human to another form. Perhaps you've seen strange creatures out and about; a snow leopard at the supermarket, a dog at the drive-thru, or a tuatara at the thrift shop. Or, perhaps, you haven't; as I write this, the number of patients might not yet have reached triple digits worldwide.

Perhaps I should introduce myself. My name is Tanja ------, and I am an Iberian Azure-winged Magpie, scientific name 'cyanopica cooki'. One year ago, I was fully human, and now I look like a hybrid between our two species. So, let me guide you through my world.

How is this possible?

A little over a year ago, certain medical circles revealed that species transformation had been trialled in mice, turning them into various other creatures, with various success rates from 20 to 80% depending on size and how different the target species was. Now, I'm not for animal testing, but when I heard that human trials were going to open, I kept that pinned to my calendar. And so, after a few months, I was able to finally sign up and have my first interview. Which was… short. Turns out, they had pretty elaborate ways of gatekeeping people who really meant that they wanted it from those that they thought would regret the procedures. They also had a little joke, based on gender HRT, where they would ask if you'd spent years living as your preferred species beforehand. Or at least, I think it was a joke. And then, I was on my way to becoming the bird I love.

How much did it cost?

Well, luckily for me, the NHS provides free healthcare. Then, due to this being a clinical trial, I get paid for being a test subject. Then, due to the effects of the medicine, I receive Disability Benefits. The treatment itself is… a bit of a legal loophole, really. This very article may well be the first you've heard of it.

Is it just a magic pill?

Nope! It's a mix of CRISPR, gene replacement, hormone injections, and surgeries over time. It's a real mishmash, at least in my case. For example, keratinous structures can be grown through selective DNA editing and hormones that stimulate 'hair' growth in specific areas in specific ways. Bone structure can also slowly be altered in some cases through gene replacement, though in some cases, surgery is needed. My back, for example, will soon be undergoing surgery to adjust the way the vertebrae are laid out. Some aspects just are too difficult to be done naturally, and so artificial parts and prosthetics are added. But this complicated procedure has an upside - it means that there is more customisation possible! For example, a Harpy would be a very specific set of applications of Bird HRT that exclude certain aspects such as the face!

Are there downsides?

Definitely. There's the immunosuppression that has to occur to stop new parts from being rejected. There's the high risk of cancers and other diseases to occur as a result of this procedure. There's just the risk that your organs will fail. Most of this is irreversible too.

Why even do it then?

Because, to that small number of people, it's so worth it. This is a new life, an opportunity to discard that uncomfortable human vessel and be yourself at last. For the vast majority of people, being oneself is being human, but that's not the case for everyone.

Is it going to be banned?

Well, that's hard to say. Governments worldwide are, I'm sure, now aware of this phenomenon. And I think it presents a threat to the status quo. This is something new, something scary, something intimidating, that shifts the power balance between subjects and governers. And it's not just because some people have become huge fire-breathing dragons - it's the meaning behind it. They've rejected the very notion of the social contract between humans and crafted a new identity. Do we still count as people? And that's really the question, isn't it. So much of the way government and society works is to split people into groups of those that are 'more' people, and those that are 'lesser' people - and that dictates what societal violences are permissible, for example. This whole new procedure will have to make governments rethink so much, and it can either be a source of worry for us, or a source of hope for everyone. We just have to be loud enough to be heard for who we are.

So what will come next? Well, I'm going to hop on in to my next appointment, and the Earth will keep spinning. My first set of wings has almost reached full-span, and my toe-dexterity is almost at where I was with hands as a human. With my next set of primaries, I may have enough of a wingspan to fly, if I keep my weight low enough. Meanwhile, Parliament will likely have a debate on the issue, as a petition to legalise the procedure has a few thousand signatures on the government's official petition website. I'll be waiting on that result eagerly.

If you have any other questions, I'd be more than willing to answer them!

[yogurtverse]

Fuck it, the Homestuck kids and trolls with JJBA stand abilities

John Egbert: Jesus of Sburbia

Namesake: Green Day song

Jesus of Sburbia allows it's user to create a room around them, then disassemble any non living object into a currency. The stand can then rebuild anything it can either see or remember disassembling at the cost of said currency. It may also store objects inside it that the user might want to use later on.

Rose Lalonde: Nightwish

Namesake: Finnish metal band

Nightwish takes the form of a lovecraftian tentacle monster, and has the power to peer into the minds of it's opponents and scan for their worst fears. It can then shapeshift into the fears and cast grimdark illusions into the opponents mind.

Dave Strider: Deltron

Namesake: Rap Group

Deltron works differently than your average stand master relationship. Instead of the normal "Kill the stand kill the user." rule most stands apply to, if the stand or user is defeated, the remaining one will pull from another timeline (more likely to find doomed Daves anyway) and use their spirit to replace the stand. However, this weakens the user and stand until the merging process is complete.

Jade Harley: Sweet Trip

Namesake: Indie Rock band

Sweet Trip is a combat based stand that mostly focuses on guns. It has the secondary ability to set these guns to teleport objects by firing a bullet somewhere and then shooting a second target, in which case the shot target takes the place of the fired bullet.

Aradia Megido: Tornado of Souls

Namesake: Megadeth song

Tornado of Souls can put people in a sort of sleep paralyses, freezing an opponent in place. During this process, Tornado of Souls can implant memories of deceased people known to the victim and torment them.

Tavros Nitram: Rhapsody

Namesake: Power Metal band

Rhapsody is a rallying stand that allows it's user to enter talks with and recruit any creature to their cause, acting like a translator between the two.

Sollux Captor: Remain in Light

Namesake: Talking Heads album

Remain in Light is a two headed stand that allows it's user to pinpoint two objects to fall under the effects of RiL. Once they are, the stand can both produce powerful beams as well as transfer any feeling from one target to the other. (For example, if Sollux was to punch someone under RiL, the impact of the punch could transfer to the other person, having them feel the impact)

Karkat Vantas: Death Grips

Namesake: Experimental hip-hop group

Death Grips is probably the weakest stand in terms of pure combat potential in the session. However, it's main ability lies in it's ability to infiltrate electronic systems and destroy them, no matter how complex. If a device is turned off while Death Grips is still inside, it will go haywire and destroy the machine beyond repair. If Death Grips is inside a shut down machine for too long, it will start to lose power and die.

Nepeta Leijon: 100 Gecs

Namesake: Hyperpop duo

100 Gecs is a colony stand made up of 100 small catlike creatures. They can be controlled by Nepeta for either attacks with their claws or using them to cover herself or allies for defensive purposes.

Kanaya Maryam: Black Halo

Namesake: Kamelot album

Black Halo allows it's user to remove the light from anything it comes across, storing the light to either illuminate areas or blind others. When a lot of light is collected, BH can fire it in concentrated beams or throw it as a shield

Terezi Pyrope: Follow the Leader

Namesake: Korn album

Follow the Leader forces it's user to follow their own moral code, whatever that may be. If the victim is forced to break their moral code through things like peers and circumstances beyond their control, FtL slowly begins to hurt the victim. If they reject their own morals too much, the pain will kill them.

Vriska Serket: Mind Fuzz

Namesake: King Gizzard and the Wizard Lizard album

Mind Fuzz takes the form of a spidery woman with eight legs. Once one of these legs touches a victim they become temporarily mind controlled and forced to enact Vriska's bidding. Vriska can also shake it's limbs and it will randomly point a leg upwards or downwards. If all eight point upwards (surprisingly more likely than you'd think) Vriska can make a wish to alter the area around her.

Equius Zahark: Powerslave

Namesake: Iron Maiden album

Powerslave allows it's user to drain the strength from their opponent and add it to the stand, while the stand can transfer the gathered strength to either Equius or others around him.

Gamzee Makara: Atrocity Exhibition

Namesake: Danny Brown album

Actrocity Exhibition is a combat stand that can also produce an extremely high frequency noise that drives people into a manic state as well as heightening their senses. The user is not immune from this, often adding to the mania.

Eridan Empora: Headmaster Ritual

Namesake: The Smiths song

Headmaster Ritual works as a science powered stand with full access to the periodic table, being able to change any two elements. This runs the risk of creating extremely volatile changes, so using the stands secondary ability of channeling the elements into objects such as wands or guns is all but nessesary to avoid harm to the user.

Feferi Peixes: Queen of the Stone Age

Namesake: Metal band

Queen of the Stone Age is a wearable stand dedicated to helping the ruler survive any sort of pressure and move along any sort of surface, be it from lava, water, space, etc. Feferi can also extend the stand to anyone she's physically touching.

[arc-misadventures]

The Fashionable Date

Jaune walked to a dorm room used by one of his upperclassmates. He knocked on the door with a hint of hesitation. He wasn’t worried about talking with her, but considering the nature of what they were about to talk about he couldn’t help, but be a little worried.

The quickly door opened, and he was face to face with one roughish smirk from one hell of a beautiful gal. The one, and only, Coco Adel.

Coco: Well, well, well, look at who we have here? Hello handsome, what can I do for you~?

Jaune: Hey, Coco, are you busy today?

Coco: I’m free as can be. Why do you ask?

Jaune: Well, after recent events I need to buy some new clothes. And, since I’m more, or less a fashion slob, I thought I should ask, Beacons fashionista for some advice. So what do you say, Coco; Want to see how well you can dress up a dragon?

Coco: Oh hell yeah I do! This is going to be so much fun! Now, how can I dress up a handsome blond like you? Oh so many choices, so many decisions… Well, regardless of whatever choices I make, I will have to factor in those horns of yours. Can’t wear anything like a teeshirt anymore; You would probably tear it up trying to put it on…

Coco: …

Coco: Wait… Horns…? When the hell did you get those?! They’re quite fetching~!

Jaune: Oh thanks… I got them yesterday after we did some tests to see how effective my fire breath can be.

Coco: And, how did those tests go?

Jaune: Well… considering how… devastating my flame can be… honestly I’m hesitant to use it on, Grimm.

Coco: So since you were testing your ability to breath fire, does that explain why you were walking around, Beacon with nothing but your breast plate, giving everyone such a tantalizing view of your body~? Because I must say, you really filled out~!

Jaune: O-Oh… T-Thank you… But, uhh… It’s, Weiss’s fault all my clothes go incinerated.

Coco: Oh, really?

Jaune: She helped test my ability to withstand fire, and extreme heats. So, she set me on fire…

Coco: She did?

Jaune: Yeah, she incinerated all the clothes I had on during the test. All that survived is my armour, but all the leather straps have burned up as well, so I might as well replace my armour while I’m at it. So… you know anywhere I can find some, Fire Dust fused clothing so that doesn’t happen again?

Coco: I do, but it’s gonna cost you.

Jaune: I’m one of the richest men in the world; So long as they’re functional, I’m good.

Coco: Oh yes, you mentioned you were a rich dragon when you showed off all those gems of yours. Tell me, Love, how rich are you? I want to know what our spending range is.

Jaune: Ehh… I’ve never looked to see how much money is in my account. But, I know my, Net Worth is an estimated 787.5 Billion.

Coco: 7-787.5 B-Billion?!

Jaune: You can make a lot mining raw metals, gems, and dust. Also, constructing infrastructure, military bases, machinery, aircraft, armour…

Coco: Y-You’re rich! You’re filthy stinking rich! You can but anything you want, and you dress like a country bumpkin?! WHY?!

Jaune: Comfort over style?

Coco: This is a crime against fashion! Come on, Arc! It’s time to get you some style!

Jaune: Whoa, HEY?!

~~~

Jaune was standing in the open doorway to a changing booth, giving, Coco a spin as he showed off the apparel she recommended to him.

Coco: Oh yeah… Mama likey~!

Jaune: It’s pretty nice, but it’s rather tight.

Coco: Just like, Mama likes~!

Coco raised her hand up, and brought it crashing down upon, Jaune’s tight butt.

“Smack~!”

Jaune: AHH! Hey?!

Coco: Gotta say you got one hell of a nice ass~!

Jaune: Only because these pants are so tight…

Coco: Why do you think I told you to wear it?

Jaune: To check out my ass?

Coco: And, loving it~!

Jaune: Haa… They’re nice… Everything looks great. But, my hair… Did they really have to cut my hair like this? I didn’t invite you out to get a hair cut.

Coco: What’s wrong with it? It’s a shaggy brush cut, simple, stylistic, and really fits you. Plus it really shows off your horns.

Jaune: It does show off my horns… Glad the sash I found matches them.

Coco: You know, I’m usually against sashes, but that white, with golden fringe really blends together nicely.

Jaune: And, you said I didn’t have any style.

Coco: And, I stand by those words! You were dressed like an absolute slob!

Jaune: But, now?

Coco: But, now after some proper guidance from yours truly you look ready to slay ‘em with your handsome looks, and winning smile~!

Jaune: I don’t think my looks will help me kill, Grimm, Coco.

Coco: I wasn’t talking about, Grimm.

Jaune: Then what are you talking about?

Coco: Haa… Still as dense as ever, Handsome.

Jaune: What?

Coco: So armour, any plans for that upgrade you mentioned?

Jaune: Something more form fitting, that covers more of my body. Something I can put on without worrying about my horns. Going to get some gauntlets, but they’ll probably be fingerless so I can retract my claws. I probably should get some measurements done for that soon…

Coco: Most likely, you’re not your lanky self you were when you first came here. Hence the tight pants.

Jaune: No, that’s so you can stare at my butt.

Coco: Still loving the view.

Jaune: You’re just jealous you don’t have a butt like mine.

Coco: Excuse me?! I have a great ass!

Jaune: No, pretty flat looking.

Coco: You wanna go bud!

Jaune: As in go into a arena for a fight, or go into a supply closet like you did with, Pyrrha?

Though most couldn’t see it, Jaune’s enhanced eyes could easily see the brief moment of shock that flashed in, Coco’s eyes. Just as easily as he saw the lighest of blushes that was spreading across her face.

Coco: What are you talking about?

Jaune: Don’t play coy with me, Coco it’s not going to work.

Coco: I’m not playing coy, I have no idea what you are talking about.

Jaune: Oh, so nothing happened between you, and Pyrrha in the supply closet outside the biology classroom then?

Coco: Wait?! How did you know he had sex there?

Jaune: You had sex? I thought you said nothing happened.’ Does that mean something did happen?

Coco’s face was flushed red as she looked around for an excuse to draw his attention away. But, finding none she finally relented, and told him the truth.

Coco: Okay… After you left, Pyrrha asked if I wanted in on your little harem thing, and I asked if I joined if that meant I could also sleep with her… So we went into that supply closet… and, had some fun. There, happy?

Jaune: I’m surprised you were so hesitant to tell me. I thought you would brag that you banged the, Invincible Girl.

Coco: I’m a kiss, and don’t tell kind of gal. Spoils the mood if you go about bragging about it.

Jaune: Plus it’s polite. Though, every faunas I’ve met knows we did it… Faunas stuff.

Coco: Yeah, I remember, Velvet glaring daggers at her. But, how did you know we did it? Did, Pyrrha brag about us having sex?

Jaune: No, Pyrrha likes her privacy more so than you do.

Coco: Hold on; if, Pyrrha never told you about us, then how did you find out about us?

Jaune: Oh, that? Quite simple really.

In a flash, Jaune reached out, and grabbed, Coco’s ass, pulling her close to him until their bodies were flush with one another. Coco yelped as he grabbed her ass, and was about to yell at him, to slap him, but his grip tightened upon her ass as she stifled a moan at his touch. But, before she could make another sound, Jaune’s head dipped lower until he growled softly in her ear, and simply said:

Jaune: I knew you two had sex, because I can still smell her on you.

A wildfire being propelled by a strong breeze was slower than the deep blush that quickly spread across, Coco’s face.

Coco Adel was the one whose teased others into a blushing mess. She could flirt one into a stubor. She new how to make anyone, man, or woman utterly flatfooted with her seductive teasing. But, she had never been put on the backfoot like, Jaune had done with that simple sentence.

Coco: Y-You could smell us?!

Jaune: Shhh… You don’t want others to hear us now do you?

Coco could only stifle a moan as, Jaune pulled her closer, giving her ass a tight squeeze in the process.

Coco: S-Sorry… B-But, you can really smell her on me? We did that a week ago?!

Jaune just smiled, showing off his fangs as he chuckled as, Coco’s composure was swiftly crumbling.

Jaune: Don’t worry, only I can smell it. No one else’s sense of smell is strong enough to pick up such subtle smells. But, I can easily pick up, Pyrrha’s sent from all the time we’ve spent together. And, there is only one person I know that smells like mocha, and gunpowder~!

Coco’s face was flush red as her voice fled her. He mouth hung agape as his voice echoed in her mind.

Coco: T-That’s what I smelt like to you; Mocha, and gunpowder?

Jaune: It’s quite the tantalizing smell. However, you’ve recently acquired an all the more intoxicating smell upon you.

Coco: Oh, that’s just some perfume I put on earlier…

Jaune: No, not that. That barely has any noticeable scent to it.

Coco: Then… was is it… what do you smell?

Jaune’s eyes look around behind her, before he pushed her inside the changing booth, he quickly shut, and locked the door behind him. As, Coco righted herself she felt, Jaune’s hand grab her, and turned her to face him as he pushed her against the wall. His hands holding her tenderly, one along her waist, while the other cupped her cheek, forcing her to stare directly at, Jaune’s predatory expression.

Before she could utter a word, Jaune used his finger to pull of her glasses, letting them gently fall to the floor with a dull thud. Her face was red, her breathing was heavy, and her eyes were lost in his. All she could do was stare on as, Jaune smiled at her, and spoke those few simple words she never wanted to hear.

Jaune: I smell desire, hunger, and lust… It’s such a tantalizing smell~!

Coco knew, Jaune; If she said the word, just one word, he would pull off of her apologizing all the while for what he did. Just because he had a throng of woman willing to throw themselves at him at the drop of a hat did not mean he would just bed any woman. He would treat them with respect, and he wanted to know if they truly wanted this. So if she said the word, just one word he would back away, no questions, no pleas, no begging. He would just leave her be, and that would be that.

Those were the thoughts running through her mind as she grabbed his golden locks and pulled him into a deep, searing kiss.

Coco had fun with someone in a changing room before. They we’re usually girls insecure about their sexuality, or curious what it would be like. So since she was up for a little tumble now, and then she helped them find the answers to these burning questions of theirs. However, when these little escapades happened, she was in control; she set the pace, she set the mood, she was the one in control. And yet, she was completely helpless under the onslaught, Jaune wrought upon her. And, she was loving every second of it.

Jaune grabbed, Coco by her waist, and pulled her in for a hungry kiss that dominated her lips causing her to moan in wanton lust as her fingers intertwined with his hair as she pulled him closer, deepening their kiss.

Jaune soon pried her mouth open with his tongue, shoving his tongue into her mouth, and her in turn. Their tongues swirled around one another as they duelled for control. Coco relished in the icy cold flavour that hung about his mouth, while, Jaune in turned savoured the sweet taste of coffee that hung about hers. The duo were falling into a drunken stupor as the drowned in the pleasure of one another’s mouths, but it was soon brought to an end as, Coco remember something very, very important about, Jaune’s tongue.

It was long, incredibly long at that.

In order to stake his claim, Jaune pushed his long tongue deeper into, Coco’s mouth, at first she gave a squeak in shock as she felt his tongue seemingly coil around hers, and push deeper into her mouth as a guttural moan escaped her lips between baited breaths of air. Sadly their fun was brought to a swift end when, Jaune’s tongue had pushed just a little too far, and, Coco started to gag from it.

Jaune quickly removed his tongue from the depths of her mouth as, Coco reeled back, and coughed almost roughly from having the invading organ within her.

Coco: “Cough, cough!” Holy hell… Did you literally shove your tongue down my throat?

Jaune: Haha… Sworry…

Jaune’s tongue was hanging several inches from the bottom of his mouth before slurping back inside. Coco could only wonder in shock how he hid such a massive appendage.

Jaune: Pyrrha likes it when I do that to her, I got so into the kiss I forgot I wasn’t with, Pyrrha. Or, you for that matter. I just fell into the moment of it all.

Coco: Well… If I didn’t start gagging on it I don’t think I would have minded really. But, you better be careful with that thing; you’ll break a girl if you’re not careful.

Jaune: Oh really now~?

Jaune licked his lips with a predatory gaze as he moved closer to, Coco.

Jaune: In that case, lets see how hard it is to break you then~!

His hands reached for her belt, and undid the buckles, the buttons, and lastly the zipper before kneeling down before her as he dragged her pants, and her underwear down in one swift motion until she was bare before him.

Coco’s heart was racing, her breathing heavy, and quick. She knew what was going to happen, and just like before she knew how to stop it, and as she looked down at those deep blue eyes staring back at her she said the words she had to say.

Coco: Please… Please break me…

Jaune chuckled as he got to work. Coco’s hand immediately cover her mouth to stifle the yell that threatened to escape her lips. A yell that swiftly gave way to deep, gasping moans of pleasure as he began to eat her out.

Coco could barely contain the guttural moans that escaped her body as she bucked against his face. She bit her lips to hold them back as her hands grabbed a hold of his horns to steady herself, and pull him deeper into her welcoming opening.

Coco: MmmMMM~! How… Ahh~! How are you…?! Mmm~! So…! Ahhh! Good at this~?!

Jaune laughed softly as he pulled away, licking his lips with his long tongue before smiling up at, Coco’s blushing face.

Jaune: Most people don’t know this, but Pyrrha wasn’t my first time.

Coco: S-She wasn’t?

Jaune: Nope~! Case in point…

Jaune drove his head back, and went to town on, Coco. Her hands quickly cover her mouth as, Jaune attacked every her lower lips, basking her in unending pleasure of the body.

Coco: Fuckfuckfuckfuckfucyk~! Who taught you how to eat out a girl like this, a lesbian? Only girls are this good at eating out other girls! MmmmH~! I should know, I’ve… Ahhh~! Done it myself~!

Jaune: Actually yes, a lesbian did teach me. Well, she wasn’t a lesbian by the time we were done.

Coco: You turned a lesbian straight with your tongue?!

Jaune: She was more of a bisexual than a lesbian, I just made it a fact. Now, if you’ll excuse me; my meals getting cold.

Coco really shouldn’t interrupt him anymore, every time she interrupted him only denied him that exquisite tongue of his from caressing her body. And, to emphasize that he picked up his speed, and ravenously ate her out.

A hand clamped over her mouth while the other held him by one of his horns keeping him in place. Behind a flush face she looked down at him to see his deep cerulean eyes giving her a dangerous, and mischievous glint to his eyes.

She would swiftly learn how dangerous that glint in his eyes is.

Both of her hands were on her mouth covering up the guttural moan that if she removed her hands would be a moaning scream for all to hear, and all to be envious off as she felt him insert his long tongue into her precious depths. There are things in life you never expect to experience; the mind numbing pleasure of a faunas with a long tongue have a meal with you was something profound to experience.

She could feel his tongue swirling around her depths, mapping her insides out with his tongue for minutes that felt like they lasted for millennia’s. At long last she felt a quack in her hips, and she would relish it’s arrival. And, when it did she awoke with her butt on the ground, staring at, Jaune’s cocky smile as he licked his lips.

Jaune: Well, looks like I broke you.

Coco panted heavily as her mind raced to find where it had fallen off. And, she knew precisely where; At her peak, as soon as she had her mind numbing orgasm she blacked out, and was left here in a dazed state, but thoroughly satisfied state of mind.

She told him to break her, and good gods, he broke her.

Coco: I said that tongue of yours would break a girl… But, gods… You can break a girl…

Jaune: I aim to please~!

Coco: That’s an understatement if I ever heard one… H-How long was I out?

Jaune: Not long, about a minute, or two.

Coco: And, while I was out, you didn’t decide to keep on having fun?

Jaune: You wouldn’t be around to enjoy it; where’s the fun if you’re not enjoying it too?

Coco: Well, in that case…

Coco slowly rose on shaky legs, shaking from the unbridled pleasure, Jaune just assaulted her with. As she stood up, she turned around, and pressed her body to the wall, shaking her tantalizing round butt towards him, inviting him in.

Coco: Shall we continue~?

Jaune laughed softly to himself as he stood up, and stood behind, Coco’s plump rear, caressing it softly with his hand.

Jaune: We shall, butnot here.

Coco: What?! Why?!

Coco nearly shouted, but this time she remembered where they were. She look over to, Jaune, and saw him giving her an amused smile.

Jaune: Because, as nice it was hearing you trying to stifle a moan like you did, but what I really want to hear… Is you screaming my name~!

Jaune grabbed, Coco by her neck, and pulled him flush against her hotly whispering into her ear those few words that brought her over the edge again in seconds.

Coco: T-T-Then what are we waiting for; come on, make me scream~!

And, that is what she did, scream his name until she could scream no more. And, she loved every agonizing, intoxicating second of it.

~~~

Juniper: You’ve got to tell her to reel it in; Jaune doesn’t like a girl who screams at him to give her his babies, he finds that extremely off putting.

Kali: I’ve been trying to tell, Blake. But, does she listen? Noooo… She all about him pinning her down, and knocking her up on the spot. Where is the fun in that? I blame her choice in literature, there’s nothing romantic in her books, it’s just kinky self indulgence for inexperienced lovers.

Juniper: That’s my daughter’s target audience after all. You have to go with the easy marks.

Kali: Yes, but their not, Jaune’s type. I sear, if I could I would chase after him myself.

Juniper: What’s stopping you?

Kali: I’m a happily married woman, but if I wasn’t, I would be pregnant with his first child right now~!

Juniper: Second actually.

Kali: He’s already a father?!

Juniper: He’s the donor actually, they say it wasn’t him, but I know it was him. It’s cute they think I don’t know, but I…

Juniper: Hmmm…?

Kali: Juni? Is something wrong?

Juniper: My grandmother senses are tingling…

Kali: Well my aren’t! Ahhh! That means it’s not, Blake getting any! Haa… Best get, Sienna to get his kids then. One of my kids is going to give me adorable grandchildren, I don’t care which, but I damn well will get them!

Juniper: I know in mixed faunas families the baby’s faunas traits are a roulette wheel of possibilities, but I really want blond cat eared grandchildren.

Kali: Me too! Oh they would be so adorable~!

Juniper: I know right~?

[safelynte]

Thinking...

In a card game, there are usually 2 resources. Card count and some form of mana/energy. The 2-resource system seems to work pretty well. Each resource keeps the other in check. So, you players desire a balance of both resources to feel optimal. Designers can design cards that cost 0 in resource (or self-replacing in terms of card count) without breaking the game.

YGO exceptionally only has card count and no mana energy. The card draws/refill issue is easy to see (Pot of Greed).

But what about the other way? Increasing to a third+ resource? Probably viable. But it might be too much mindspace. Playing cards is smooth because you only need to know you have the card and then check the energy for it. Having to check twice seems cumbersome. So, it would have to be somehow an easy-to-check resource. However, MTG mixes different mana colors, and they do very well with it. I like MTG's "tapping" mechanic since it uses the cards as resource symbols. It is very easy to view & check.

I often think about this because of adding a Grid to card games or adding cards to board/grid-based games. We have Duelyst, Fights in Tight Spaces, and Alina of the Arena to reference now. Excellent games, btw. But I've always considered position & movement as extra resources to manage. Duelyst can have an explosion of options as you put more minions on the board. Alina has extremely limited movement. And gaining extra movement can be ludicrously powerful (ground slam). And I have yet to play Fights in Tight Spaces. I should get on that. All three games have very tight maps. Crowded maps ensure that there are always units in reach of each other - there is always action.

From another perspective, we can consider the hand of cards a player draws as an abstraction of their position. Thinking of Slay the Spire, for instance. If you draw no attacks, it represents that you aren't in a position to attack. If you draw no defensive cards, it represents being cornered (also good luck). So, cards like Leap and Backflip represent agility in the game. Adding a grid offloads this representation onto position and movement. An agile Alina build would have shuffle and lunge... and ground slam. Alina separates blocking and mobility effects, but Slay the Spire merges them.

Anyway, thanks for reading this aimless rambling.

[merrigel]

the wenis video gives me such joy also what do you use to draw/animate you’re literally inspiring me to take up a new hobby lmao

OMG thank you so much, you're too kind!! And HELL YEAH JOIN ME IN THE DRAWING THE SAME THING 1000000 TIMES MINES 😂 (But truly!!)

I use all kinds of software for different things so I'll just make a little list:

RoughAnimator! For ipad, costs like 7 bucks to own forever. Super lightweight, super effective, genuinely where I do like 99% of my animating these days- if you have an ipad I couldn't recommend it enough

Procreate! 99% of my non-animating drawing happens here lmao, also for ipad, also really cost-effective

TVPaint! For PC/Mac- on the more expensive side, but I saved up and got it when I was in college for That Sweet Sweet Student Discount™️... Most of my like, Actual Job Animation has been done with this one!

After Effects! Kind of a bonus here, but it's where I do all my compositing; most camera moves, lots of the lighting and stuff, any layers on multiply/add/[insert blending mode], etc. Every day I wish I could replace it so I could stop paying adobe but here we are

If you're just starting out and you're working on a computer, I think Clip Studio Paint can do animation? And it's way cheaper than trying to grab TVPaint or anything adobe or An Entire Ipad, so it might be a cool place to start experimenting! (There's also Opentoonz, which I think might be free?? But also I will be real with you I opened it once and got overwhelmed and scared so I have no guidance there jksdklfsd) It's also good for drawing, but there's also Paint Tool SAI (my beloved companion thru all my years with a PC) and Krita for regular old drawing as well!

Whatever you end up using, GOOD LUCK!! You're gonna do great!!

[gayhenrycreel]

capitalism is truly shit.

this year i bought some gumboots. i live in what is essentially a town on top of a swamp, so boots are important.

they broke.

after SIX months.

those boots cost 30 bucks.

a few months ago i found some old boots in a dumpster. theyre made of water proof leather, have metal spikes for grips, and are decades old. they are in wonderful condition. they will probably last at least another few decades. these are high quality hiking boots. my old boots were absurdly expensive and absolutely shit.

i also have a lot of old clothes i got at secondhand stores. they are high quality fabric with no holes. some of these clothes are from the 50s. thats 70 years old. my modern clothes barely last a year.

not only is the material strong, its also really comfy. my 40s trousers are rough on the outside but have a soft inner layer. even though they are double layered i can wear them in the middle of summer.

it is literally more cost effective and comfortable to dress like Victor Creel from stranger things all the time.

and the sweaters. theyre actually warm. and soft. and they dont shed microplastics everywhere. so its also better for the environment.

i also found a handmade suede jacket. im not sure what animal its from but it might be kangaroo leather. thats one of the best leathers. its soft, almost fluffy on the underside when its suede. its thin but strong.

it cost me ONE dollar. in american dollars that around 50c.

clothes arent made like that anymore. these days we just get paper thin woven plastic shedding microplastics all over the place made by underpaid wage slaves.

capitalism only cares about making money, so only gives us shit thats cheap to make. its ridiculously expensive and has to be replaced often, meaning we spend absurd amounts of money just on clothing. one of my modern shirts cost 30 bucks. i can get quality 90s shirts for around 5 dollars at a second hand store.

this quantity over quality bullshit is a tool of capitalism

[heelycular-manslaughter]

Not sure if I should explain this on every post or not but I'm lightly working on a Lumen game inspired by Hades & Kill 6 Billion Demons, all about you escaping a randomly-generated hell using a weapon of your choice. The weapon system is a core aspect of the game; it's similar to my other Lumen project, Luminous Vein, though you'll only start with one weapon instead of two. It might seem like a downgrade, however-

This is one of the (currently) two weird gimmick weapons with questionable function and clashing aesthetics. The yo-yo has a mechanical focus on gaining Casts - which if you haven't played Hades is essentially a little projectile you can fire that's usually disconnected from how your weapon attacks - but is characterized as being cool and doing tricks & shit. also I've been playing Penny's Big Breakaway so honestly I might change it to add more references and maybe make it more usable. The core combat system isnt too complicated but I dont really want to explain the whole thing in each post where its important, but I can answer any of the questions you have probably

Plaster Yo-Yo

Not a conventional weapon, made as a toy for children in Hypercrash and Cloud 9. Unlike the other weapons, though, this can be pretty easily smuggled into hell, and still used as a tool for violence. 

Stylish: Instead of actions being for direct violence, the Plaster Yo-Yo's actions can be used just to look cool. When you spend an action, you can describe an interesting way for it to play out, and gain an additional Cast for the rest of your turn. When you spend all your actions and none of them deal harm, you can also gain a Cast for the rest of your turn.

Plaster Yo-Yo Actions:

Toss: Can use a cast, a movement, or an action. Throw the yo-yo one range, dealing 1 harm to any enemies in the way. The yo-yo stays in that position until using Recall or moving.

Recall: (Can be used after using Toss) Can use a cast, a movement, or an action. Bring the yo-yo back, dealing 1 harm to all enemies in the way. 

Tornado: Requires 2 actions; deal 1 harm to all enemies within Near range. 

Plaster Yo-Yo Aspects: 

(Costs 1 Titan Blood) Aspect of Style: Gain +1 Cast (for all turns).

(Costs 1 Titan Blood) Aspect of Spinning: After using Toss, the Yo-Yo deals 1 harm to any target in Close range of it, and deals 1 harm to any enemies in Close range of it at the end of every round until it returns to you.

(Costs 2 Titan Blood) Aspect of Break: Recall can move you toward the yo-yo's position.

(Costs 2 Titan Blood) Aspect of Pose: When you gain a cast, cause all enemies within Near range to lose an action.

(Costs 2 Titan Blood) Aspect of Sticky Hand: The yo-yo can attach to a targeted enemy, who will move with it, taking 1 harm for each obstruction or enemy they collide with.

(Costs 3 Titan Blood) Aspect of Sawspinnin’: replaces Plaster Yo-Yo action list with the following:

Rip-It: Can use a cast, movement, or an action. Send a Sawspinner into the arena; if it hits something, it will deal 2 harm before bouncing to another target. Any additional harm added to this action counts as a separate attack. 

Arena Center: any Sawspinners in the arena will begin to orbit towards you, moving 1 range toward you at the end of each turn, dealing 4 harm to any enemies in their paths.

Sawridin’: use Rip-It action, then spend another action to jump on the Sawspinner and move with it. Any movement effects are applied when you bounce off an enemy

the final aspect turns it into a beyblade idk if thats clear or not

anyway vote on what you want to see next pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasif you want. idc

prev update (Hollow, Goddess of Rot)

[niuttuc]

My Favorite Cards of 2024: Murders at Karlov Manor

The year is pretty close to over, so let's go back over the sets released this year (with new cards at least), and go through a few of my favorite cards from that release. I'll group together stuff released together, in this case it'll be Murders at Karlov Manor, the Commander precons, and the Clue edition. I'll probably go through one set a day for the next week, though I might skip some days for personal reasons.

Cryptic Coat is a new twist on living weapons that feels really good to play with. While Duskmourn revisited the manifested auto-attach equipments a bit, this one has more gameplay to it by being an infinite mana sink, and the Ward 2 of cloaking makes it just a bit more fun. It also offers some interesting play patterns when you expect removal for it, as to when to activate it to bounce, and is great with blink effects, both to get more 2/2s by blinking the coat or blink the 2/2s to get the permanents hidden behind for free. The default rate of an unblockable 3/2 ward 2 for 3 is decent enough, and it doesn't feel too bad to play against either (outside of limited), there are points of interaction.

Aftermath Analyst is a new package for an effect we've seen rarely in the past, and good enough to spawn an entire deck in standard until rotation, while also being an excellent commander card for any green deck that has anything to do with the graveyard, or with lands. The main downside of World Shaper is that it never dies when you want it to, so putting the death fully into your hands makes the card feel so much better to play with.

Cases in general were pretty neat, but I'll single out these two because I've played with them quite a bit. Filched Falcon is relatively simple, but the low cost to entry and instant speed sac make it a powerful and tricky thing, always to keep in mind as a reason to keep up my mana. Crimson Pulse is a great way for aggressive red decks to go long, for matchups they can't close as fast as they'd want. Three cards a turn will end a game VERY quickly in red, and even the initial cast can be a divination when empty-handed.

I haven't played with Doppelgang much personally, but one has to respect a card with this much nonsense potential. The ability to target lands and your opponent's stuff turns this card from a narrow-hard to use card into something that will always impress and create unlikely scenarios, as long as you have the mana to put into it.

I love burninating people's boards, and Incinerator of the Guilty sure does that. It's easier to randomly have stuff in the graveyard than connect with a non-trampling Balefire Dragon, and you usually don't need that many hits to close out a game. Incinerator really loves haste but it replaced or joined Balefire in both my decks that were still playing it. And now that people have forgotten about it for new shinies, it's even available for about $0.50 while Balefire is still above $10 for some reason.

Is this design original? No, of course not, it's literally a copy paste of another card. But that other card is one of my favorite designs in the game, so it earns a spot here almost by default. Plus, it brought it back in standard.

Between the stellar art and buildaround potential, Insidious Roots decks have a pretty unique feel to them, not quite like other graveyard decks or other combo decks. Most forms of graveyard hate aren't even good against it if they trigger the roots, and the deck has been viable in a few places at points, which is quite the work from an uncommon.

I just like Gleaming Geardrake. Two artifacts for two mana, and a flying body that really loves random Treasures and other trinkets. It's won me many games, and was a bit slow in a bunch more, but it's just cute and neat.

Columbo closes it out with Final-Word Phantom. I generally like playing at instant-speed for trickiness, and only doing so during end steps is a fine way to make it less obnoxious while still retaining a good chunk of the utility. People no longer have to wait on you on every priority, just on end steps!

[eorzean-tale]

FFxivWrite2024 - Prompt #5: Stamp

“HAPPY NAMEDAY CAPTAIN!” 

Sven nearly jumped out of his skin as he was assaulted by sudden laughter and congratulations. He had only emerged from the sanctum of his readyroom to get some coffee, and wasn’t really in the mood. A rare occurrence for him, but unfortunately navigating by the stars meant that he stayed up much longer than he normally did whenever they were about to embark on any kind of trip where they couldn’t rely on landmarks. He didn’t like to do it on the fly anymore. Not after what happened with The Incident. 

He saw the grinning faces of his crew, his family, and the captain of the CETEA managed to force a smile on his lips. He couldn’t be short with them despite his exhaustion, not in the face of their obvious glee at surprising him yet another year. Cookie had gone all out as well, he saw, having baked not one, not two, but three of his favourite kinds of cakes. No doubt they hadn’t had any trouble finding people to help him decorate the mess as well, as was evident by the myriad of streamers and garlands strung about. A second glance had him notice that some of those garlands had paper cutouts of himself, drawn with over-the-top expressions of awe and appreciation. The least he could do was mimic some of them for their entertainment, and he was met with roaring laughter as he did so. Even Adra and Brigitte cracked a smile. Things were good.

Sven had been staring at the little stamp box when that memory had come to him, as vivid as if he had jumped back in time. Those moments seemed to come more and more, and he couldn’t rightly tell if it was his age, or some side-effect from whatever As’kari’s wife had done to his eye. His dreams certainly had been strange since then, but he wouldn’t be the first to fall for the trap of nostalgia as they got older either, so he couldn’t be sure.

He frowned as he tried to recall if the crew had thrown him one of their surprise parties this Twelvemoon yet. Unlike with most people, his was an actual surprise. He didn’t know what his actual nameday was, that was a discarded detail from the short life he’d lived before his current one. Sure, he’d made something up for the documentation for the Empire - former Empire, he corrected himself - but that was just as random a guess as the crew’s. It had become a little bit of a tradition to just pick a date each year and go all out like it was his actual nameday, but it had been a long time now. He sighed, softly chastising himself.

“You’re procrastinating.” 

That little stampbox had been a gift on one of those Nameday celebrations. As captain, he had to read and sign a lot of documents - a lot. After an afternoon of parchment work, even a young scribe would get stiff fingers, and so he’d been given the little box. To ease the burden. Brigitte could be strangely thoughtful like that, even though she claimed this was a cheaper solution than the ink and quills he went through every season. She had also insulted his handwriting, claiming that it costs them gil each time a clerk returned a document on account of not being able to read his ‘scribbles’. They had argued, because that’s the only way he could thank her without making her upset. That, and by cherishing the gift so it wouldn’t need to be replaced for decades, perhaps never.

Today was the only time he had ever loathed it. Not for its own sake, but because of what he had to write, and to who. It felt heavier than a pistol in his hand as he lifted the stamp, the black ink somehow reminding him of the viscosity of blood. As he pressed it to the bottom of the finished letter, it felt like the soft thud was the drop of an executioner’s axe. Just like that, he might have signed his own death warrant.

Sven carefully placed the stamp back on the inkpad, then slowly placed them both back in their box. His heart was hammering like he’d just taken a draught of poison, though he outwardly looked as calm as ever. Brigitte came to his mind’s eye then: “Glad to be the one to kill you, captain,” her phantom image taunted, and he laughed out loud as he got up. Time to get going.