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villaincock · 6 months ago

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how od you sned thing s on tumblr dot crom

here you go i dont know what im doign i feel so old

Inukei no Kareshi by Kadiro More of a romance comedy about a wolfman and a human. No sex scenes (yet?) but it’s very wholesome and cute. I really like the main character (big surprise) and I always look to see if there’s been an update. It’s generally very wholesome and is more of a slice-of-life but with most of the boring stuff replaced with gayness. The art is also very nice and charming and again I really like the main character.

[18+] Ai da nante Iwanai kara (We Won’t Call It Love) by HIGURE Kure Mutual-burn childhood romance manga where the guys graduated from school and ended up moving far away to be reunited by both a wedding and a funeral. These men suck at communicating and damn that sure is going to be a loveless marriage but hey, it’s pretty cute otherwise. The sex scenes are bad and boring, but the story is pretty good.

Sweet Rendezvous by HIGURE Kure Blind app dating excepts its people looking for folks to eat food with for whatever reason. Strange concept, but it’s very cute and the romance is subtle but sweet.

[18+] Matataki no Ao o Tadotte (Follow the Twinkling Blue of the Stars) by COICO Ico The premise of this one is a weird one. It’s a childhood-friend-just-out-of-a-coma-to-lovers type manga… Yeah. Has some weird dynamics like student x teacher but this time it’s actually legal? And the circumstances are questionable and bizarre but it’s a cute read otherwise. I actually don’t remember if there’s any sex scenes so I’ll mark this as 18+ just in case.

[18+] Torano Tantei Jimusho e Youkoso (Welcome to the Torano Detective Agency) by KUROI Yodaka Peak. In a world where humans and beastmen co-exist in society, it’s a romance between a down-on-his-luck semi-ex delinquent/punk guy and the titled detective of a detective agency. Punk boy needs a job and hits the goldmine of a lifetime (live-in assistant who has all expenses including food paid for as long as they do housework alongside acting as a detective’s assistant) and the two end up having probably the best confession scene I’ve ever seen in manga or anime. Ever. It’s so good. There is one (1) sex scene and it’s really short. This is a really good manga. It even has elements of found family. It’s so good.

[18+] Koibito Keiyaku-chuni Suki by MATSUDA Io An alright manga. Kind of cute in execution with way too many sex scenes. Weird usage of the fake boyfriend trope and ultimately the plot is so nothing I really couldn’t care less, but the interpersonal love has it where it counts. Feels a little like a stereotypical office romance manga with a boys’ love twist, which is neither here nor there.

Daraku Kazoku-ron (Dysfunctional Family Therapy) by Tsurukame Mayo It’s hard getting a good read on this one. There’s a lot of setup but the setup feels like it isn’t done yet. It seems like it’s trying to be a slow burn but I don’t know for sure… This manga has elements of found family but not in any way you’d expect, and revolves around two men who slept with a woman and now has to figure out who’s going to be the parent now that the mother passed away. The relationships are kind of all over the place so far, but where I was able to read up to it’s clear the intent is for them to have been mutually in love in the past, but it still feels like I don’t super know whats going on.

Musubime wo Hodoitara (Once You Loosen the Knot) by ICHI Bom Picked this one up without realizing it only had one chapter currently, and it’s alright. I learned some neat things about tea ceremonies at least! I’m interested to see more, though the place I read this at tagged this as “twins” and that scares me, but it may be there just because the love interest may have a twin? Cos it so far has it established that the two boys are from different families. If it turns out that it’s some nasty incest stuff I’m gonna drop it.

Chiba Kyoukan wa Nabikanai (Professor Chiba Isn’t Flattered) by KINGYOBACHI Deme This manga is a bit strange, but it wasn’t a bad read. It’s about a driving teacher falling in mutual love with one of his (same age) students who turned out to be a shy mangaka. I don’t super like the student-teacher relationship dynamic as a whole but I’m willing to look past it if it’s not super weird or creepy about it… This one was okay.

[18+] Ore no Kareshi ga Ichiban Kawaii by NIHONMATSU Shino An immensely cute manga with childhood-friends-to-lovers. I love love love seeing punk representation even if it’s with actual, literal delinquents, and the relationship dynamic was very cute. It does have sex scenes, though I skipped them usual. The story is very charming and was all in all a good read!

[18+] Adatsubaki Yugamite Haguruma by Fukiya Furo A historical manga about samurai. This is a real weird one with dynamics, and it’s an enemy to lovers type manga. Despite all of its quirks, I couldn’t really bring myself to put it down though the romance itself is… Kind of super messed up. This follows the story of a samurai who murders the man he loves, only to be challenged by his dead lover’s son, who falls in love with him during his mission for revenge. It’s wack.

[18+] Furimuite Tsukamaete (I Want To See Me In Your Eyes) by Yoriko Another oddball manga with weird dynamics. Childhood friend/crush’s younger brother moves in with the main character sometimes after said crush moves in with his girlfriend. They eventually fall in love. It’s a strange dynamic, but overall the manga is kind of cute.

Slow Morning by Kagis Childhood friends type manga where they’re reunited again after 6 years. Not enough has happened in the manga so far to give me a clear opinion but I like the art style and I’m interested to see how this one goes!

Sasori to Otome by SUMIYA Zeniko A childhood friends-to-lovers between a mangaka and his ex classmate. It’s… Alright? I didn’t hate it though the dynamic is ultimately lacking to me… I only read the one marked “Volume 1” thus far so maybe it gets better later?

[18+] 18.44 by Momoko Suika Good ol gay baseball. Childhood friends type manga where one of the two is really stupid. It’s not a bad manga and is rather cute, though as usual I skipped the sex scene at the end cos I don’t super care.

[18+] Achira Kochira de Aimashou (The Man in the Mirror) by Yukibayashi A romance between a would-be king and a would-be family head. The premise was kind of silly but it won me out in the end. I enjoyed it quite a bit, and I did appreciate seeing a man with longer hair in a manga for a change…

[18+] Fukou-kun wa Kiss Suru Shika Nai! by GAMOKO Tsuyu A manga about a chronically unlucky man and a chronically lucky man falling in love. It was a bit refreshing how the relationship itself felt a little bit more normal compared to other manga I’ve read. It was pretty good.

Haru no Mozu by fu Another slow rolling ongoing manga. It’s interesting so far and doesn’t really seem to super understand what being nonbinary is, but still need to see that appear in a manga. I’m curious to see how this manga will go.

[18+] Chiguhagu na Kiss (Hug Me, Kiss Me) by SUEHIRO Machi A misunderstanding turns into a rather wholesome romance. It was a good read, though as usual I skipped the sex scenes. I didn’t know how to feel at first cos it opened up with the protagonist trying to get a girlfriend but I ended up enjoying it in the end.

THIS RULES

thank you flannel, your opinions/synopses are also very appreciated!!! ^o^

#manga recs #ref #yaoi rec #bl rec #i like to see what others have thought about a manga before i just jump in!!! so thx!

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xmint-conditionx · 4 years ago

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tongue tied | myg

pairing: yoongi x reader, f2l

w/c: 3.5k

summary: you've been best friends with yoongi for almost a decade, and you're hopelessly in love with him. he's the most important person in your life, and you don't want to mess that up, so you can never be anything more... right?

written as a response to a request from the old blog -- the requestor was @yoongi--enthusiast; thanks again for your request, i loved doing it!!! "I had an idea... something based off of the song “tongue tied” with yoongi. I feel like it would be super soft with soft smut... I just think it would be nice to read so can you please wright it 🥺👉👈"

tags/cw: 18+ please, smut, outdoor sex, overall a little angsty but super cute too

a/n: i did not know that there was a song called tongue tied by marshmello before i wrote this so... i hope the person who requested this didn’t mean that song because I wrote this drabble over the grouplove song lmaooo but anyway, here goes! thanks luv, enjoy! also reposted from the old blog!!

Yoongi’s laugh is so beautiful. It’s rare, so when you see it, you soak up everything you can about it. The way his eyes crinkle up into crescent moons, the way his lips curl back putting his gummy smile on bright display. You can swear you see his eyes sparkle.

You are in love with him. You are in love with your best friend.

He makes loving him such an easy thing to do; bringing you into his inner world, showing you the sweet and warm center he conceals from everyone else. The way he looks at you, the way he says your name, the way he pouts when he wants a back scratch, all of those little things that make him who he is only deepen your infatuation with him.

You’re with him again this Friday night, making the drive to Bom’s house. It’s been a long week for the both of you; he’s been wrapped up in producing a track and you’ve been nose deep in college textbooks. His track is completed, and your exams are over. It’s safe to say that you both could use a good break.

It’s the end of the spring semester and the weather is going to be gorgeous tonight. The racing summer breeze coming through the open car windows is exhilarating. The sun is setting, and the warm evening light on Yoongi’s dewy skin makes him appear absolutely radiant as he navigates the highway.

You’re just listening to fun little summer jams as you speed off toward the city’s suburbs. Ones with funky little basslines that are easy to groove and sing along to. Ones that make you shout and laugh into the rushing wind. Ones that make you drink in the moment you’re having with Yoongi; ones that make you soak up all of his joy.

And when he steals a sly look your way, one hand still on the top of the steering wheel, you can swear your heart stops.

You’ve loved him as long as you can remember really knowing him. Since you were both 12, bonding over games of tag and basketball and the spilling of secrets to each other. You’d sit beneath the big tree in his backyard and share the snacks you’d bought at the corner store. He’d always let you have the last chocolate.

The only secret you’ve ever kept from Yoongi is the matter of your infatuation, and you are pretty resolute in keeping it that way.

He is the single most important person in your life. He had been there with you through it all; when your parents split up at 13, when your dad got you your first car at 15, when your long time boyfriend cheated on you at 16, when your dream college denied you at 17, when you got a full ride scholarship to a smaller university outside of the city right after that, when you were drugged at a house party at 20, when you were diagnosed with depression at 21, and when you were accepted into your masters program at 22.

You needed him, and because of that, you could never tell him.

You pull into the gates that surround Bom’s neighborhood. Her parents are pretty wealthy, so they live on a golf course. As you pull up into the driveway, you see some other students milling about, catching Frisbee. There’s Eunha, Ireum, Ji-Ah, and Miyeun that you recognize from some of your classes, but there are a few more that you’ve never met.

After a few rounds of drinks and a few lost games of flip cup, you all head outside to the back patio with all of your schoolwork from the year. Bom turns on the bluetooth speaker and sets it on the railing. You take in the night air and gaze up at the sky, wishing there was a shooting star to wish upon.

“Alright, everyone,” Bom begins, “essays and lab reports first, then tests, then miscellaneous homework.” Yoongi helps you dig through your stack to fish out the cursed papers. You all toss the stapled packages into the fire pit, one by one, each hitting with a soft thud. Once everyone has thrown their woes into the pit, Bom tops it with actual firewood and unceremoniously sets the whole lot of it on fire. You gaze into the center of the flame, watching your entire year catch fire. All the hours you spent doing that research project, all the disappointment when your group members wouldn’t follow through. Gone, like it never existed.

Yoongi’s holding your hand in his, and he’s busy drawing little circles with his thumb on your palm. Your head rests soundly on his shoulder, and you sigh into him, comfortable in where you are. The whole group piles in more papers, as you lament about the shitty professors and the shitty group projects and the shitty caf’ food and the shitty grades. Yoongi turns into you and nuzzles gently on your forehead. You feel his soft lips graze your temple, breath warm on your skin, tingles rising through your body, and you’re right where you want to be. Under the moon’s gaze with the person you love.

Before long, the breeze sends a chill through you that even the fire won’t remedy. Yoongi feels your shiver and unceremoniously removes his hoodie and puts it on over you, pulling up the hood and kissing your forehead. You always love when you wear his jackets; they surround you in his warmth, his smell. A smile plays across your lips until you notice Yoongi’s goosebumps.

“Hey,” you pout, “I don't wanna wear this if you’re gonna be cold.”

“I don’t wanna wear it if you’re gonna be cold,” he snaps back, smiling.

“Here,” you say, standing up from your deck chair. You take the step to get you to Yoongi’s chair, and sit in his lap. “This way we can both be warm, yeah?”

It takes him a second, but he wraps his arms firmly around you again, mumbling a “yeah, that’s fine” when you glance at him over your shoulder.

Your attention is called back to the group with Bom asks if you’re going to the Summer Romance Festival by the river next weekend. She’s been pushing you to get yourself out there more. The last time you were in a real relationship was high school, after all.

“I’d love to go; I hear they have the most beautiful fireworks display,” you start, “but I don’t think I will this year.”

“Well,” Bom says, “Why not?!”

“Because I don’t have a date, Bom!” you say, covering your face in the sweater paws you’ve made from Yoongi’s hoodie. “I don’t think I could find one in enough time.”

“Ya, just get Yoongi to go with you! You already do everything together anyway,” Eunha quips.

You notice that the steady rise and fall of Yoongi’s chest has stopped.

“Hey, you know we’re just friends, right Yoongi?” you look to him for backup.

The man nods, looking down and to the left.

“Okay,” Ireum speaks up, “In that case, do you want to go with me?”

“Wait, what?” you say.

“Do you want to go to the Summer Romance Festival with me? As a date?”

Yoongi tenses beneath you.

“Oh, I don’t know…” you breathe, “Are you sure?”

“One hundred percent. We can even get dinner before we go. Not too much, though. I’ll want to get us a treat from one of the dessert stalls.” Ireum says with a soft smile.

“Yeah,” you say, smiling back at him, “Okay. We’ll go together.”

Yoongi stirs beneath you. “Hey, can you get off of me?”

“What, why?” you pout.

“I said get off.”

“Yoongi, wh--”

He doesn’t wait for you to finish before he abruptly stands up, forcing you to catch yourself. When you look back at him, he’s walking toward the French doors that lead back into the house.

“Ya! What was that about?”

He keeps walking. You storm after him and slam the door, trapping you both inside.

“Yoongi, I’m talking to you! What’s your fucking problem?”

He whirs around.

“Oh, I have a problem?”

“Well, it sure seems like it.” you spit back, hands on your hips.

“Why don’t you go talk about it with your date, huh?” he says, gesturing out the window to Ireum. “Don’t you have some details to work out? He gonna pick you up? You gonna let him hold your hand? On your nice little extra special romantic date? I guess I’ll just fuck right off and leave you two alone, yeah? That’s what you want, cause we’re just friends and all.”

“Yoongi, we… are friends! You’re my best friend!”

“Did you ever for a second think that I could want more?”

“What?!”

“I fucking love you, Y/N! Isn’t it obvious?! I’ve loved you since the 7th grade. You remember when we played spin the bottle at Ha-joon’s house? Do you remember when you kissed me?”

“Yoongi…”

“No, let me finish. Do you remember the frat party we crashed junior year? Remember when we got up onto the roof and made out until we fell asleep? And then you weren't there when I woke up so I walked back to my dorm and then we just pretended it never happened? What the fuck was that, Y/N?!”

You reach for his arm, but he backs up, flinching away from you.

“I am so in love with you it hurts!”

“Yoongi.”

“But I guess if that guy can make you happy, then whatever,” he sighs.

“Yoongi.”

“Go on your little date and have fun and I’ll just go write some more goddamn songs about you--”

“Yoongi!”

He stills, pain flashing through his eyes.

“Yoongi,” you say quietly, easing toward him, “I had no idea. I left the roof to go inside and get you some water. When I came back, you were gone. You had been drinking a lot that night… and I felt really bad because… I thought I had taken advantage of you… Ever since I first kissed you at Ha-joon’s house, I wanted to do it again. And again. And, you looked so good that night and up on the roof when you were laughing about the quarterback I just… I couldn't hold myself back anymore. I thought surely you didn’t want to actually be kissing me.”

“Why the fuck would I have kissed you back, then?”

“You were drunk, and I--” you’re cut off when he grabs your wrist.“I have wanted to kiss you every time I’ve seen you since you first kissed me,” he says, glancing down at your lips. ”I want to kiss you right now.”

You take no time in closing the distance between the two of you, your lips crashing desperately. You’ve tasted his kiss before, but this time feels different. His hands are winding through your hair, pulling you deeper into his kiss. You moan against his mouth, and he responds with his tongue teasing your lips, asking for entry. You grant it, and he explores. One of his hands holds your jaw, the other still intertwined with your hair. His tongue runs along your bottom lip before he sucks it in, drawing out a small whimper from you. Taking his hand from your jaw, he runs it down your neck and décolleté and then down over your stomach and latches it on your hip, sinking his fingers into your skin. He gives your hair a small tug, just enough to break the kiss and expose your neck. He breaks off and trails kisses up your jawline and then onto your neck, speaking in between kisses.

“You have… no idea how… much I’ve… wanted to tell… you everything,” he breathes onto your neck, and you feel a heat pooling in your panties.

“Please, Yoongi…” you say as you begin to run one hand under his shirt. He stops kissing and looks up at you with the softest expression.

“What is it?” he asks as he grabs both of your hands in his, bringing one of them up to his mouth to sprinkle kisses along your fingers.

“You…” you begin and sigh, “you have no idea how much I want you.”

He stills.

“Are you sure? We don’t have to, I’m sorry, I just…” he trails off, eyes getting lost in the way his jacket is draped on your figure.

Him eyeing you up doesn’t make it any better.

“I’ve wanted you for so long,” you say, eyes pleading up at him. “I’m tired of waiting.”

After a beat, he sighs.

“Neither of us are waiting another minute,” he says, landing a quick peck on your lips and going across the room to the couch, grabbing the throw blanket that rests on the arm.

“Come on, I have an idea,” he says, grabbing your arm and leading you out of the front door, across the street, through someone’s back yard until you reach the top of a hill on the side of a fairway. You watch as he scans the area, holding the blanket tight. His gaze lingers on two hills near the green of whatever hole this is, where there are a few more trees and hills to block you from the sightline of those second story windows. He looks at you, eyes asking the question. You smile and nod, and that’s all he needs.

He tugs your hand and you both go running down the fairway, laughing along the way. Once you reach your spot, he quickly puts down the blanket and lays on it. You’re still standing at his feet, hands fiddling with the ends of the jacket sleeves.

He smiles up at you and holds his arms up in your direction and says, “come here, beautiful,” while doing little grabby hands.

You slowly walk up to where he’s laying and sit on top of his hips, feeling how hard he already is. His hand rests on your hip underneath the fabric of his jacket, the other holding the side of your face.

“Let me see you,” he says with a tinge of whine in his voice, and that gives you an idea.

You reach under the still zipped jacket and fiddle around. Yoongi looks up at you befuddled, the corners of his lips turning down slightly as he tries to figure out what’s going on. When your hands emerge, one is holding your strapless bra and the other is holding the halter top you had been wearing. You can’t believe you managed to unzip the back by yourself.

You throw the garments to the side, and watch as understanding hits his face. His eyes glaze over and he licks his lips, clearly shaken up by your little trick.

He carefully dips his fingers below the waistband of your shorts and eases them down. You put your weight on him and give him a few kisses as he continues to move them down your legs. Once they too have been tossed to the side, you sit back up, lips red and swollen from the kiss.

He gently reaches up to the zipper of the jacket and begins to slowly pull it down, letting the cool night air in. You feel your nipples harden at the exposure to both the night air and Yoongi’s hungry eyes. He swallows and licks his lips as he runs his eyes over every new inch of you that is revealed. Memorizing your form, your perked nipples, the way your chest rises with each anxious breath.

He reaches back up to the collar and eases one shoulder of fabric off. You move to take the rest off despite the cold, but he stills your hand with his.

“Keep it on, please. I love seeing you wear my clothes,” Yoongi says, intertwining his fingers with yours.

You bring his hand up to your lips, pressing them against his knuckles as you slowly grind your still covered core on his length. He groans in frustration, his pants getting tighter. You let go of his hand and run your fingers up beneath his white cotton v-neck, his ab muscles flinching under your touch. You help him remove his shirt, taking in the way his pale skin shines under the moonlight.

Seeing you look at him makes his cock twitch in his pants, and you think it’s time to provide him some relief.

You scoot back and start to undo his belt, getting low and staring up at him through your lashes. His breath hitches when you make eye contact with him, and then it starts to pick up as you undo the button and zipper. You shimmy down the denim, but leave his black boxer-briefs where they are.

You come back up to the waistband after releasing his jeans, and you take the elastic in between your teeth. You tug them down with your teeth while your hands pull them on the sides. His erection springs free, and he sucks in a fast breath when his cock meets the cool air. You take the opportunity to let your warm breath ghost over his throbbing cock, coaxing a deep groan from Yoongi. He puts his hand to your cheek, and you look up to meet his gaze.

“I don’t think I can last if you put me in your mouth, baby girl. We can do head next time,” Yoongi says, and your heart soars at the pet name. You ease back up so that you’re straddling him once more, and reflexively start to grind on him again.

“Please let me take care of you. Look how wet you are,” he says, running his fingers over your clothed slit, dipping one finger in to collect a bit of slick. He tastes his finger and says. “Yeah, we’re definitely going to need to do head next time.”

You blush at the thought of him buried between your thighs, vulgarly slurping up everything you have to give him. You clench just thinking about it, and Yoongi notices. He pulls your panties to the side, takes the head of his cock and presses it to your clit, teasing your entrance. His precum mixes with your wetness, and you can’t resist him any more. You’ve resisted him for years, and you’re done.

You slowly ease yourself down on his cock, only making it halfway down before you have to wait for you to adjust. You both look at each other; Yoongi’s jaw is set and his eyebrows are furrowed together. Your mouth drops open as you raise and lower yourself again, feeling the delicious stretch that accompanies it. You bottom out and begin setting a slow and gentle pace.

Your body is rolling steadily, moonlight creating beautiful shadows on your body as you take him in over and over. As many times as you’ve dreamed of this, you still didn’t fathom it being this good or it feeling this right.

Yoongi is everything you had imagined he would be and then some. The way he is looking up at you, the way his soft little moans escape every time you bottom out, the way his eyebrows furrow together at the sight of your dripping heat enveloping him. Perfection.

He takes his hands and trails them up the curve of your waist, stopping just below your breasts. He runs his thumbs over your nipples, making you shudder and arch your back, pushing your chest into his hands. He palms them, kneading little circles around your areolas.

You lean forward, putting your weight on him again, and he meets you eagerly with another kiss. He wraps his arms around your back, keeping himself under the jacket, and you pick up the rhythm. Yoongi scratches his nails all the way down your back. Once he gets to your ass, he cups it, squeezing gently. You place your forehead against his, and your eyes meet.

“Y/N,” he whispers, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, “you look so beautiful on top of me like this. Please let me see this sight for the rest of my life.” You whimper at the praise, and pick up the pace.

“Please,” he continues, small grunts mixing in with his words, “Don’t wake up tomorrow and pretend like this never happened. Please... don’t break my heart,” he pleads.

“Not a chance, Yoon. I can never let you go. You’re everything to me. You’ve always been.”

“Baby, I am so close. Can I--”

“Come with me, Yoongi. Let’s do it together,” you say. Yoongi’s hands are on your hips and he’s thrusting up into you with an unrelenting pace. At this angle, you can feel his head graze against your cervix with each thrust, sending white spots in your vision.

You both reach your end at the same time, breaths mingling as you come down from your highs. You lay your head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat gradually slow. He presses a soft, lingering kiss to the top of your head and sighs into your hair.

“So…” he begins, “do you wanna go to the festival with me?” Yoongi asks.

“Are you gonna pick me up? Let me hold your hand? Have a nice little special romantic date?” you fire back, trying your best to sound like him. You sit up on your arm, letting your hair hang over to one side, and watch the light dance in his eyes as he laughs.

“Yeah,” he laughs, “I might even get us a little snack from one of the desert vendors.”

#bts smut #bts smut reactions #bts smut one shot #bts fanfiction #yoongi smut #yoongi x reader #min yoongi #yoongi x you #yoongi smut one shot #soft!yoongi #yoongi--enthusiast #send me requests

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paradoxolotl · 3 years ago

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Are there any quotes or moments from any of your fics that you've had to leave out of the final product? Like, deleted scenes. If so, do you feel like sharing?...(Particularly Inked Truths because I'm obsessed with it. I fell in love with BoM, read it multiple times. When I found out you were doing a prequel I was very excited and have not been disappointed since.) (I also love TftR but it makes sad.)...Absolutely no pressure. If you don't want to answer please just ignore this, I'll understand.

Truths for the Roof didn’t lose anything but Inked lost a bit. Really, it was just redone to flow better and fit the characterization better, or moved somewhere later on in the series. I’m more likely to add then take away. It’s pretty rare I scrap something completely, and usually find somewhere else to put it, even if it’s a different fic. But originally BOM was very different. Andrew was medicated and Aaron knew Neil Josten from class.

Here’s a scene that was reworked in Ink Blotted Memories ~

Aaron did his best to avoid Andrew after that. He made himself busy at work, hauling dishes back and forth and hanging out with the bouncers on his breaks. When they were home Andrew was usually shut up in his room or outside smoking which made avoiding him all the easier, giving Aaron space to dick around on the TV or be in his room. Nicky still tried to involve both of them in stupid bonding activities like family dinners and movie nights. When they did happen, it was tense and uncomfortable, mostly filled with Nicky’s inane chatter. Aaron purposely did not look at his brother on these nights. He was torn between wanting Andrew’s acknowledgment and wishing he had never found out about him.

He marked his days with video games and his nights with alcohol and cracker dust, counting the days until he could once again use school as a distraction.

And the entire original Brother of Mine, which I rewrote most of when I got partway through ~

Aaron could still remember lying in his bed in his mother’s house, body bruised and hurting, wishing to have someone who could help him. Someone to make things better. To stand with him and hold him up when he was so close to crumbling. Learning about a long-lost twin felt like something out of a movie. An answered prayer. Finally, Aaron would have someone, a brother, who he could talk to. He imagined late night talks and secrets shared between them. They would have a bond so strong that nothing could come between them.

Andrew’s response of ‘fuck off’ had felt like a back-hand across his face.

Still, he held out hope. He was told to try again in the Spring, and that was what he planned on doing. Even when Andrew was sent to juvie, Aaron held onto his hope of a brother who would care about him. They were twins after all, how hard could it be?

The first time he had met Andrew face to face, Uncle Luther beside him and a metal table separating them, Aaron’s idea of what their relationship would be went up in smoke. His face was looking back at him, but there was no expression, no emotion at all. A blankness that revealed nothing of what he was thinking. It was hard to make eye contact with Andrew, his eyes sharp enough to be cut on. Andrew didn’t speak to Aaron at all that first visit; he just stared at him with a flat glare the entire time.

And yet he still came to South Carolina to live with Aaron. Aaron desperately wanted for Andrew to open up to him when they lived together. He thought he had to, now that they shared a room. He also hoped that home would get better, now that Andrew was home. Maybe mom would get better, would stop being so stressed. So angry.

It only took one incident for Aaron to believe Andrew was untouchable. They were in the backyard so Andrew could smoke, both sipping from a bottle of vodka Andrew had acquired. He had only moved in a week ago, and so far, things had been quiet. Aaron had no new bruises, but Andrew’s blank stare made him warry. The slam of the front door had made Aaron flinch, Andrew’s cold eyes tracking the movement. Aaron could hear their mother calling for him, her words tight with anger. Remembering the pills he had swiped earlier in the day, he swallowed back the lump in his throat and went inside.

He remembers her screaming. He remembers the pain of a hand across his cheek. Then there was Andrew, her wrist gripped in his hand, twisted far enough to make her bend at an awkward angle. It was then that Aaron saw the first expression on his twin’s face, and it terrified him. His lips had curled back in a snarl, his eyes bright with an anger Aaron had never seen before.

It was that night that Andrew had offered Aaron a deal. They would stick together, just the two of them, and Andrew would protect him. Aaron believed this was the answer to what he had been asking for. Finally, he wouldn’t be alone. He made his promise to Andrew.

Months passed, and Aaron was still collecting bruises. It was almost worse now, to have a witness to his suffering. Someone who had promised him protection but couldn’t stop everything.

Then, the accident where Aaron was left with only Andrew. Just the two of them.

The funeral where Andrew’s arm was in a sling, a cigarette hanging from his mouth, and a strange gleam in his eye as the dirt was poured on their mother’s grave.

Nicky coming back from Germany, taking them in.

Moving into a new house and Andrew installing a lock on his door.

The agony of being locked in that bathroom, withdrawal clawing his body to shreds.

The slow isolation at school, Andrew refusing to let anyone close.

Nicky’s assault and the mandated therapy.

That awful laughter and empty smile.

And Aaron had to wonder if instead of his prayers being answered, he had been cursed.

~~~

Things began changing the spring of their freshman year of college.

When they first joined the Foxes, there was a clear divide between Aaron’s family and the others immediately. Any interactions ended in spitting insults at best and violence more than not. The others feared Andrew and his knives, circling their group like alley cats. Not that the three of them were much better. Nicky constantly antagonized the others, and the twins’ general lack of effort to get along definitely rubbed a few people the wrong way. The Columbia trips solidified their isolation from the others. Honestly, Aaron couldn’t care less about getting along with his teammates. He would leave them alone as long as they did the same. He was here for a degree, not friends.

Now, they had officially been knocked out of the championships. Not that Aaron could bring himself to care, but games days usually also meant Columbia, and Aaron desperately wanted to get off campus. Between the upperclassmen, Day’s bitching over the season and Nicky’s whining, Aaron was looking forward to drinks, crackers, and music loud enough to lose yourself in.

Unfortunately, they couldn’t go without Andrew. His twin was currently perched on his desk by the window, smoking and staring out at the campus, fingers rapidly tapping. Normally they would already be packed up and gone by now, but they hadn’t gone once in over a month. At first Aaron thought it was because of exy, but then Andrew would disappear from the dorms for hours at a time, much to Day’s frustration. The only reason Aaron even noticed this as odd was because his brother rarely left Day alone. He never told them why they stopped going, or where he disappeared to, and any complaints fell on deaf ears.

“Come on Andrew!” Nicky whined, “We never go to Columbia anymore!”

Andrew’s laughter made Aaron’s jaw tick. “Oh, poor Nicky, don’t you know that no means no?”

“But why not?” Nicky was still going.

Aaron didn’t know why Nicky thought he could reason with Andrew. Unless you were Renee the best result from interacting with him would be victim to a cutting insult or dismissal. Worst case you’d need stitches.

His phone buzzing in his hand distracted him from the conversation happening. Looking at the screen, he felt a wave of relief wash over him, soothing the tension in his shoulders.

Katelyn

You played great today! It’s too bad the season is over

Katelyn was an instant balm to Aaron’s anger. It was still new, this thing between them. They had met in their intro biology class and had spent many late hours at the library studying. She had been the first person at Palmetto who had bothered to get to know Aaron for him, not just as ‘Andrew’s twin’. At first, he was a sullen asshole, but her endless patience and positivity snuck past his defenses and made a place for her in Aaron’s very bones. The only issue was they had to sneak around; Aaron couldn’t risk Andrew finding out about her.

Glancing up to make sure Andrew was still distracted with Nicky, Aaron settled further into his beanbag.

Aaron

Whatever it’s just stickball

Katelyn

Still, I’ll miss watching you ;)

Aaron had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep the smile off his face.

Katelyn

How’s Columbia?

Aaron

Wouldn’t know we’re still in the Tower

Katelyn

Think you could sneak out for a bit?

We’re in that bar with the turtle

Nicky’s yelp brought Aaron’s attention back to the room in front of him. Andrew was still on the desk, but Aaron caught the glint of metal as a knife was put back in one of his armbands. His eyes followed Nicky as he retreated to the bedroom, face split in his usual grin. When the door closed behind Nicky, Andrew’s eyes snapped to Aaron, pinning him to his spot. Aaron glared back, daring Andrew to say something to him. To say anything.

Instead, Andrew flicked his cigarette out the window, slammed in shut, and left the dorm completely. Aaron wasn’t sure if he was disappointed or not.

He sat there for a moment, fingers tapping on his phone. If this was going to be following his typical pattern over the past few weeks, Andrew would be gone for hours, and wouldn’t notice if Aaron left. He would just need to be back before Andrew. Really, it wasn’t that hard of a decision.

Aaron

Be there in twenty.

Katelyn

Grabbing his jacket, Aaron hurried out of the dorm, eager to get away. Even if it wasn’t Columbia, even if it was with the Vixens, any time with Katelyn was worth it.

Aaron didn’t look up as he left the Tower. If he did, he might have seen a heavy stare and two lit cigarettes.

~~~

Summer came, and somehow Betsy had convinced the courts to change Andrew’s medication. Something about an incorrect diagnosis or dosage. Aaron wasn’t sure how they thought an Andrew off the pills would be any better, but no one asked him for his opinion.

The upside was that Aaron had weeks free of his oppressive twin, and he could spend as much time with Katelyn as he wanted. It was the first time in years Aaron felt like there was no weight pulling him down, like he could finally breathe.

It was in those few perfect weeks that Aaron came to a decision.

He couldn’t lose this.

~~~

Andrew had come back from Easthaven reverted back to the emptiness of when Aaron had first met him. He had barely said a word to anyone since he came back, simply leveling that bored glare at them whenever someone tried to speak to him. Whenever Aaron saw him, he was fiddling on that damn flip phone, barely acknowledging his surroundings. Even the upperclassmen had noticed his attachment to the device.

It was during a meeting before the first game of the new season that someone finally snapped.

“Damn it, Andrew, what are you doing?” When Kevin got really angry, his face flushed. Right now, he was approaching tomato.

Andrew snapped his phone shut, “Nothing.”

“Bullshit, you need to focus. Our first game is tomorrow, and we are nowhere near ready.”

“Maybe,” Andrew drawled, “instead of worrying about me, you should focus on what you’ll do when you see Riko again.”

It was a low blow, but effective. Kevin immediately fell silent, his skin changing from red to white so quickly Aaron was surprised he didn’t faint. Edgar Allen had joined their district after Kevin announced that he would be joining the Fox line-up. Last year Kevin had showed up, hand bloody and broken, looking for sanctuary. Apparently, Riko had broken his hand in a fit of rage. Kevin had tried to sue, but with the connections and money behind the Moriyama name, it was ruled as an accident. The public backlash of that along with Kevin’s transfer to the Foxes had caused several headaches last year.

“Jesus, Andrew,” Nicky whispered.

Andrew opened his phone again. No one else tried to speak to him for the rest of the meeting.

~~~

It was a new bet among the Foxes: what Andrew was doing on his phone. Everyone agreed that it was pretty clear he was texting someone, but the question was who. Some believed it was a secret girlfriend, while others were still convinced Renee and Andrew were together. Others thought it had to be something illegal.

Aaron knew what he thought, and he silently watched and cataloged information away.

~~~

The season was going terribly. They were winning games by the skin of their teeth and they were more divided than ever. Seth and Kevin couldn’t stop fighting, their newest striker was a nervous wreck, and Andrew didn’t give a shit.

Their last game was against the Ravens, and they had been destroyed. Now, Wymack and Dan were looking for a win.

They were in the locker room getting ready for the game when Andrew’s phone began to ring. Aaron didn’t recognize the song Andrew used, but he knew he normally used the default setting for his ringtone. Andrew picked up before Aaron could think too much on it.

“What?”

At this point everyone was staring at him, not even trying to act like they weren’t eavesdropping.

Andrew scoffed, “Junkie,” he said before snapping his phone shut, tossing it into his locker, and slamming it door closed. A moment later he was stalking out of the locker room.

Silence was left behind in his wake until Nicky broke it, “So it isn’t a girlfriend?”

When the team was gathered again (...missing...)

~~~

(...missing...)Today though, Aaron needed to talk to him.

The chances of Andrew brushing off any attempt Aaron made to speak to him were high, so Aaron waited until Andrew would have to acknowledge him. On Wednesday, when Andrew walked into Reddin, Aaron was waiting for him.

~~~

“Fuck off,” Aaron growled.

Josten had that stupid smirk on his face, his finger tapping on his test score. It wasn’t even that Aaron did bad. It was that Josten did better. He always did better in this stupid class. Aaron hated statistics, but apparently Josten was a math major and took every opportunity to show him up.

From day one Aaron had disliked him. He had plopped down beside Aaron, ratty clothes and shaggy hair, and called him ‘the second Minyard’. Not only was he a complete ass, but he was completely unnerving. His eyes were a blue so pale they were almost glacial, and his face and arms were covered in slashes and burn scars.

Once, Aaron had overheard someone call him ‘Scarface’, and Josten had just asked, with a terrifying grin, if they were looking for some to match.

And Aaron was stuck in a room with him twice a week.

Josten tsked at him, still tapping at his score. “What? Still second?”

“Fuck off,” Aaron really wasn’t in the mood.

He just hummed, pulling his phone out, a god damn flip phone, and spent the next few minutes ignoring the review happening. Aaron could barely focus as Josten texted away; each click grating on Aaron’s already frayed nerves.

Aaron wasn’t even sure how Josten did so well; he spent most of the class doodling in his notebook.

#aftg #all for the game #the foxhole court #the raven king #the kings men #aftg fanfiction #para's fics #ask para

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delightsan · 5 years ago

Text

FLAME (I) | CS

⁕ genre: fuck boy!san, bad boy!au, college!au, fluff, angst, enemies to lovers

⁕ pairings: choi san x fem!reader

⁕ words: 2.3k

⁕ description: keeping the title of being the best student on campus isn’t easy for you, especially when your mind was occupied only by him and his annoying smirk, the popular bad boy who once decided to sets on fire your heart without anybody’s permission

⁕ warnings: explicit language, suggestive remarks, smoking & alcohol

read the prologue here!

"I like you."

“I might also like you.”

The overhelming idea of being loved by the most popular boy is like a scene taken from a cliché romcom, where the leads are blinded by the arrow of Amor, making it hard to believe his smooth words. His declaration of being the one, who would be beside you in your worst time, holding you tight in his arms is alluring like the sweetest candy. San's confession opens the heavily lock to your heart, which you hide in order to prevent yourself for falling into a twisted flame of love. You give in all of the tempations like a prey for the devil, the taste of hell creeps at your tongue leaving a taste for more. Angels can also fall from heaven.

His charming smile can only bring concerns to your already clouded mind.

Beginning of the spring starts the night after your defeat of vain attempts to return to the godly paradise, the events from yesterday filling your senses with a nerve-wracking anticipation but also a uneasy fear of being stuck in imaginations of your dreamland. The dead world which was once sworn by a snow blooms into a mesmerizing flower only to catch your attention, taking away the ability to breathe with him as a main culprit.

It's your favorite season after all, does wonders really exist to open a new path for you? You hope so.

The strong scent of cigarettes wakes you up to relief your anxious sleep as the rays of golden hours dances through the small space of your room, motivating you to sit up in order to get ready for a new dares. Mornings are always hard as you never liked the idea of being out of your comfort zone - the bed. You shiver at the coldness of your wooden floor, groaning in annoyance as you fail to locate your favourite pair of fluffy slippers. The clock at nightstand struck now at 5:34AM, signaling to start your day with a cup of warm coffee made by your roommate Seonghwa who is also one of his friends.

Making your way to the dresser in order to pull out a pair of jeans and a simple white tshirt, you scroll down trough your daily reminder of activites as you got a message from Seonghwa saying to hurry up before the breakfast could get cold. The small yawn escape your mouth as you curse in your head for his overdramatic ass, he is always nagging about you to his boyfriend Hongjoong, who is a leader of the gang ATEEZ, he and other boys belongs to. You had actually a couple of chances to met him, he is a devoted kid with the sweetest smile you have ever seen. Deep down your heart you know both of them cares for you, like a brothers who want nothing but the best for their little sister. Grabbing a brush at your desk, you comb your long hair to smooth it out before doing a gentle makeup on your face to look freshly new. The last glance at the reflection in the mirror satisfites you, smiling brightly as you leave the room with a delighted mood.

The magnificent breakfast at the large kitchen's counter is what greets you first with it's abundance, thanking to god for Seonghwa's kindly gesture and his angelic manners. You need to attack him with kisses later for being a perfect roommate you were craving for years. Taking a seat, you glance at the flawlessly baked pancakes with doze of fresh fruits, most of them strawberries as he exactly know from one of many shared conversations that they are your favourite fruits. To improve your mood even more in adcition there is also a coffee that you would yearn for all of morning. He was indeed a perfect roommate, a soft-hearted bad boy with a caring side contrasting with his opposite lifestyle.

You consume the meal in peace as the muffled voice could be heard at the end of balcony where Seonghwa and you would enjoy his morning routine which include of a cigarette and hot cocoa for him, praising you about being non-addicted to smoking and you with a plain black coffee, talking to a Bom who is your newly planted Dianthus. Curiosity won a battle against your guts as you ate the food and decide to go towards the balcony in order to greet your friend but the harsh smell of smoke hit your lungs, coughing in desperation for fresh air as you blink a couple of times.

The mesmerizing sight of San with cigarette between his long fingers looks like pulled straight out of the outstanding painting in which his acute jaw is carved with delicate caution and his honey glazed skin glows in the sun, being a living example of a descendant of god. San's cat like eyes meets yours in a rapid moment, the sound of thumping inside your heart increase as you gulp and you swear you could see the whole universe in them. Too many stars to count them all.

He puts out the source of smoke, brushing a hand through his hair with red streaks to sleak them back in order to see you better in the sunrise. No sign of Seonghwa, the only savior is now gone, making you question what was his excuse to leave you alone with San. "Did you sleep well, princess?" he asks, the hoarse of his voice send a shiver down your spine. "I heard you like to talk to Bom. Your friend seems to enjoy my company."

"Why are you here? Where is Seonghwa?"

"Ouch." San pouts in fake pain at your blunt question. "I wanted to see your pretty face." he smirks as he leans against the balcony grilles covered in flowers. "Seonghwa is at his room talking with his lover boy." You want to take a picture of this moment, to remember it everyday before going to sleep, at how his sparkling eyes are looking at you with adoration and his intoxicating scent is overhelming you.

Choi San is a epitome of a bad boy who dresses in all black, the leather jacket on his left shoulder, the other arm is being exposed by his tank top which perfectly shows his majestic tattoos. You don't know if all of them have deeper meanings, hiding the scars of past misakes or made just under the influence of youth. One catch your liking, the weathered cat on his forearm.

"Is that a cat?" you asks curiously, causing him to grin widely at your little interest in his persona as his face lit up like a sun to run away with your breath. His deep dimples makes apperance as you shyly smile back at him, containg the urge to put kisses all over them and tell him how truly beautiful they are. If someone could be more charming than him, you wouldn't be in hell right now.

Chuckling, he says. "Yeah, that's my cat. Her name is Byeol." he smiles at the mention of his lovable pet, he surely adores her with genious love. Being envious of cat is amusing, but you can't help the uncertainty to his feelings, wishing he just would love you the way he loves her. "It's old though."

You step forward in order to examine the tattoo by yourself at the close range, his well-built body radiates with power over your wits, the hot temperature filling you up with dizziness as you burst with desire when his skin make contact with yours. The feeling of his piercing eyes on your every movements is affecting you in the way you would never imagined, blushing like a kid who would be caught at the stealing his favourite cookie. Inhaling his sensual scent, you don't break the contact between the both of you as you bite your lips at the thoughts, clouding your mind because his flaming skin feels rights on your cold one. "No, I think it's cute despite it's condition."

San's face softens at your words. "If you say so." he says, grabbing your delicate hand in his, letting it wander all over his tattooed arm to left the trace of heaven he's long lost addicted to. Yours touch is like a drug to him, dangerous but worth it's price, taking away his common sense in order to make him a fool of your nonexsisting sins. Oh, how much he wants to to demolish you with his world.

The drowing out sound of both yours rapid heartbeatings is like the sweetest music to your ears which you listen to ease your uneasy feelings, shaking you to the core of lust in order to realise the pressure of his warm hands on your waist, pressing himself as close to you as possible. Clutching subtly at his black top you push him into your embrace, lips molds together in a quick moment as he pulls away completely and you feel cold and empty as he flashes you a sly grin.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry" you says paincked. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

"It's okay, don't be sorry. I actually really like it." he says as he doesn’t give you the time to respond, choosing to press his lips hard against yours instead. You would lie if you say the butterflies inside your stomach doesn't burst the second his soft lips met yours, opening a whole new world to you.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

San chuckles and grabs you by the chin but his touch is not rough, more likely gentle like a feather, taking care of the pressure he puts into showing affection to you. "No, are you?" he mocks you. "I like you, remember?"

You shake your head as your heart starts to pound at his meaningful confession, craving for more of his sweet talking. The relationship with San started at the beginning of colleague when Seonghwa introduced him to you as on of his best friends. You both were attracted to ourselves but sometimes not everything work the way we want it to be. "What do you mean by like, we are enemies" you whisper as his hand sneaks to the small of your back in order to pull you even closer if that's possible, rubbing at the cold flesh of your skin, leaving the suave aftertaste of his hell.

"I really like you, (Y/N)." he says softly as his embrace on you grow stronger, proving how secure his arms could feel around your fragile figure. The sparks in his brown eyes are magnificent like a colorful fireworks on a New Year, drawing you into the neverending trance of exchanging shy looks. "My reputation is fucked up but who cares, they already know not to mess with me. These braindead folks can go to hell, I swear to god they are only a burden."

Venom lingers in his voice like a bitter poison, covering your blushy skin in goosebumps as you look away from his pleading stare to hide the tears, threating to fall at the corner of your eyes. It pains you that you have to see him in state, where the hateful words are form of a escape from a incumbent reality. "I care, San. How can I not, if you bring the troubles once I'm not looking" you sigh. "It’s not your fault, though." you lean into him, dropping your head in the crook of his neck. The faint sound of his heartbeat soothe your nerves like a precious lullaby, dreaming about this moment.

For a bad boy who can only curse about his miserable life, Choi San is a lost puppy who never experienced the meaning of love. Always in the wrong hands of his owners, deceiving his feelings to fall into the depths of emotion abyss.

You bite your lips in anexiety, exhaling his intoxicating scent of expensive cologne mixed with the smell of cigarettes from earlier. "Can you prove to me that your confession was true? Show me how much do you like me and how do you crave the feeling of my skin in yours, to hold me like this every night not like other girls you slept with." you ask with trembling hands. "Promise me to be honest with me and make me fall in love with the real you."

He chuckles as he softly presses his lips to the crown of your head. "I promise." he states, your insides swell and your heart pounds in your chest once again because San is far for being a perfect boyfriend but maybe you have a power to change him to be one. "Tutoring can wait" he says as you look at him curiously, a teasing smile on his face.

"San, your grades are awful." you sigh as you cannot help but smile at the sight of the pout on his face, looking like a kid who couldn't get his favourite lollipop. You pull away from him and thread your fingers through his hair in an attempt to comfort him.

He grins as you allow him to press chaste kisses down your neck to your lips, softly pressing into you as you whimper at his close approximaty, his burning touch leaving you with a bite for more of the forbidden fruit. Kissing him feels like paradise, you have never done it before, contemplating about the sin but it feels right. "I don't care."

Far for being angelic, the son of devil sets on fire your heart, not caring for the burns on his skin, inviting you to his little game.

"Kids, I left you for a moment and you are already making out." The sound of Seonghwa voice make you giggle in embarrassment.

"Fuck off, Seonghwa!" San warns, eyeing the older boy.

Maybe connecting your soul with Choi San’s won't be that bad idea.

#ateez #ateez scenarios #ateez reactions #choi san #ateez san #ateez fluff #choi san fluff #choi san scenarios #choi san imagines #san imagines #san scenarios #kpop #kpop scenarios

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godsporncollection · 4 years ago

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Hi! I’m 17 and I think I’m a lesbian. (I say think because I honestly don’t know right now because of all the other crap I’m dealing with right now). My parents are DEVOUT mormon and would never let me not attend church. I’m getting super depressed thinking about going again and I don’t even believe in God anymore. Do you have any tips for how to distance yourself while still having to attend?

I'm gonna start off by saying that I'm almost twice your age. Church policy, technology, and social media have changed a lot since I was in your position. I also know that there are situations that applied to my family that meant I was able to get away with certain things that many others can't get away with because those situations don't apply to their families. So, all I can tell you is what I did, and hopefully some of those might give you some ideas that you can adapt to fit your situation.

I pushed the boundary of what I was allowed to read (distract myself with) during sacrament meeting. I grew up being allowed to read certain religious things (scripture, books by lds authors, lds magazines) during sacrament meeting. When I was 14, and super into Tolkien's work, I found a book called "Religious Themes in The Lord of the Rings". I had my mom read it, and she approved of the series for church. I legitimately don't remember any talks from sacrament meeting due to this tactic.

I made friends in the ward, with less strict parents, and was occasionally allowed to sit with them during sacrament meeting. Those parents allowed us to get away with reading non-church material and quietly chat by passing notes back and forth.

When I was 15, I got a job. My dad went into the National Guard when I was 13. One weekend per month, he's gone most of the day for drill. Which means he misses church one Sunday a month. This gave me precedent to get a very demanding summer job that required me to work six days a week, including Sundays. It was a very common place for teens to work at, and it was temporary work, so my mom let me do it. But once I was done there, the personal precedent was set. She couldn't stop me from working at other places that were open on Sundays, where I would, unbeknownst to her, often trade shifts with coworkers to ensure that I was working during church as often as possible.

At some point, I started "writing". I took a notebook and pencil everywhere with me. Since I was a hard-core LotR fan, naturally, I knew the tengwar (elvish) alphabet. So, I would "take notes" in seminary and Sunday school, written in tengwar and nobody would ever know that I was just practicing, writing poetry, translating hand outs, or just writing straight up gibberish.

When I was 16, I actually told my mom I didn't believe any more. Obviously, this won't work for most people and will probably make things worse. I was unbelievably lucky, considering how strictly religious my parents are. We reached a compromise where I didn't have to go to Sunday school, young women's activities, firesides, or seminary. But I did have to attend everything we did as a family (provided I wasn't working): sacrament meeting, stake/general conference, and the daily family prayer and scripture reading. (I actually chose to keep going to young women's activities because I'd finally made friends.)

If I really had to attend something, and couldn't have any distractions, I would mentally recite anything I could think of. Favorite poems, passages from books, the words to any song I could think of, etc. Or I would practice the piano on my knees.

The only thing I can think of that I didn't do, is to actually read the bible. I'm serious. Educate yourself. Note how the bible differs from the BoM and how things can be interpreted outside the lds lens. It's very interesting to see how much from the fucking bible mormons ignore and twist to fit their narrative.

Now, as I said in the beginning, things have changed, and my family is not your family. So, if anyone else has suggestions, please speak up!

#exmo #exmormon #apostake #ex mormon #ex christian #ex cult #apostate #cult stuff #ask #exchristian #excult #exlds #ex lds #former mormon #ex religious #agnostic #mine

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wajjs · 4 years ago

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Congratulations!!! If theres still a slott left. VLD LancexThace :D (somehow Thace survived or they meet him in another way) or LancexRegris *v* (sorry, I can't help but shipp him with the BOM xD)

Shine a light

First things first, and this is the only rule that truly matters at the end of every day:

Space is weird. Never act like you get it.

Once that particular lesson is learned and fully accepted, the amount of times surprise hits them doesn't really change—but it does help with the whole 'coping' thing.

Which is why Lance doesn't let hysterics take over him when he's separated from the team, locked inside a strange alien—okay, no, everything is alien in space, that doesn't define anything. Locked inside what seems to be a half dilapidated, hopefully abandoned, station. It's… creepy. It definitely is, and it doesn't help that it reminds him of, of, of Ulaz of all people. The remembrance should maybe comfort him but he's not taking his chances. Not when he's alone.

Incommunicated.

Activated bayard in hand, keeping his back to the walls and checking every corner, every possible hiding spot, Lance ventures further into the dark corridors. His steps barely make any noise. His breathing is loud in his ears but he knows that with the helmet on, no one else can hear it.

He's peeking into the next hallway, feeling like he's in a maze, when a shadow moves the opposite direction. Lance's heartbeat spikes.

In the second it takes him to redirect his line of vision and his bayard, he finds himself thrown to the floor. Knife to the throat, gun useless in this close range, a knee pressing down on his gut. He wheezes, tenses, tries to scramble away but the grip is tight. Then—then he takes a good look at the face of his attacker. His breath ends up caught in his throat.

"Thace?," he asks.

The knife doesn't let up.

A lot of reassurances and explanations later, Lance finds himself inside the only part of this station that's still functional. It's locked away, partially hidden, and only someone with those blades can access it. Which is the only reassurance he himself can ask for, because this means—this means it must really be Thace, and not, and not—

From where he's sitting on the edge of the small emergency cot, Lance can see all of the scars on the other's body. Places where… fur? hair? (he isn't too sure if it can be defined as either of those) is shorter than the others, scarce, and the skin underneath has long healed, with different kinds of discoloration. Lance thinks it's not too different from the burn scar taking all over his back. From shoulders to the curve of his spine, right where his ass starts. The skin is all one big mark, a patchwork that shows healing that happened at different rates.

He wonders if Thace also hates seeing them in passing reflections. Wonders if he feels shame.

"So," clearing his throat, he looks all over the room again, rubs his fingertips over the handle of his weapon, "how long—"

"I escaped the explosion out of sheer luck," Thace hums, writing down something, or perhaps going over stock or who knows, Lance doesn't understand their written language, "and then, well. I needed somewhere to hide. I knew they'd find out I was still alive, and they'd give chase. This was—this place wasn't my first option."

"Huh."

"My first four hideouts were… compromised. I found this place by accident, I didn't, didn't remember it from the records I'd read."

Lance blinks, does his best to suppress a shudder. "And then I showed up. By accident, as well."

Thace stops, then. He puts down the things he was using to write and turns around to look at the human. One side of his face is heavily marked by scars.

"I don't believe in accidents," he tells Lance, eyes shining under the flickering lights. "Something brought you here. Which is why we must run."

At the very least, the lion is bigger than those cramped up quarters. The two small rooms had been scraped clean as fast as possible and then they had quickly relocated to the lion. As far as stealth goes, the animal shaped ship certainly does them no favors, but it is fast, and, above all, still functioning. It only needed a handful of repairs, and with Thace helping him, Lance managed to get those done in record time.

Being out in open space will always remain a novelty. The stars are always different and the sense of voyage never ends. Lance sits on the pilot chair, stretches his back. Half turning to look at Thace by his side, he smiles and points with a hand towards the back.

"There's a cot if you want to rest some more. It's definitely bigger than the one you had, I mean, I bet we both can fit—"

For the first time, Thace's expression changes. It's… mischievous.

"Is that an offer?"

Lance halts all his thoughts. His face heats up in a matter of seconds.

"I—"

"Don't worry," smiling, which makes his eyes shimmer, Thace rests a hand on Lance's shoulder, looking out of the viewport again. "I'm far from tired. Besides, you need someone to help you navigate this sector."

"Ye-yeah," Lance tries not to shudder. "You-you are right."

Their comms signal is still a bust and perhaps that is for the better, considering they are being chased. Pidge's stealth mode goes haywire after a wide shot hit something and now it only works for a couple of minutes before it starts titillating. It's not enough time to cross a blockade.

"We can't fight all of them," Lance says, voice shaking but hands steady.

"If we can hide underneath the belly of one of those cruise ships…" Thace leans closer to the viewport and from where he's sitting, Lance gets distracted by the other's reflection. "Under that one," he points, frowning, "the stealth mode should give us enough time to get in position. Even if they start shooting, we'll remain covered by the bulk of the cruise."

Shifting his eyes from the serious face with the shining irises, Lance follows the path pointed. A small smile makes his lips curl.

"Alright. Let's do this!"

Passing through is a feat of good luck. When they make it safely to the other side of the blockade, Lance jumps up from the chair and onto Thace's chest, pulling him in for a hug.

"We did it!" he says with happiness and relief clear in his words and no self-consciousness creeping in just yet.

It makes Thace laugh, loud and clear, with no heavy weight bringing the sound down. He wraps an arm around Lance's small waist, and now their bodies are closer.

Ah, there it is. Self-consciousness.

"Yes," Thace doesn't let go and instead he nuzzles Lance's cheek, the part of it not fully covered by the helmet. It makes Lance's heart skip a few beats. "We did it."

After the scan, the small planet is deemed safe enough for them to hide, even if for just a couple of days. Traveling nonstop is tiring on both the body and mind. And they are both in dire need of a proper shower.

Luckily here the bodies of water are safe, and so after setting up camp (the lion hidden not too far away) Lance takes off his armor and the black suit underneath, staying only in his underwear. He runs to the shore, gets his feet wet and then he…

Thace smiles as he watches the other dive into the waters, laughing in such a carefree way, like they aren't being chased, like their heads don't have a reward attached to them. It must be nice, to be able to still enjoy living while the threat of death is after them. It must be—

"Thace!" Lance screams his name from where he's standing, water reaching well above his waist. "Come here! It's nice!"

He has scars, that's the thing. So many of them, from the explosion and from before. And the human has seen some of them, has seen the one taking over his face and the reaction was never one of disgust or fear. No. Lance treated him like nothing was wrong. And that, that was the greatest novelty of all.

So he follows suit, shedding his uniform, getting down to the bare minimum needed to keep him covered—blade securely strapped to his thigh—and he goes after the human. He all but jumps into the water, grins when he catches up to the other and then he—

Lance is looking at him with wonder. Not just that, no, there's also… there's also curiosity, and Thace holds his breath and Lance moves closer, as those hands rest on his chest, and Lance is leaning in, straining to reach his face and so Thace is leaning down on instinct, leaning till, till.

So this is a human kiss, Thace thinks as Lance's lips are on his. The touch is soft, delicate, unsure. It's. It's nice. It's really nice.

A squeak stumbles out of Lance's mouth when Thace picks him up, big hands enveloping his waist, and then they are both laughing, dripping water and fears and wrapped in warmth and certainty. This feels good. This feels right.

That night, when they go back to the camp, they share the same cot. It's a perfect fit.

When they finally make contact with Kolivan, Thace has already promised his blade to Lance. Even through the holoscreens of the lion's comms, it's painfully obvious that their togetherness is not simply partnership forged in survival. There's more, so much more, and Thace shrugs with a huge smile on his face when Kolivan sighs wearily.

"A rescue mission is on its way," the leader says.

"Cool," Thace winks at him just as the screen shuts off. He doesn't care too much, because he then turns to Lance and they are kissing again, like they can't stop.

And that is true. They really can't stop.

#vld #vld thace #vld lance #thance #?#thace/lance #blob writes #blob's prompt party #holebias #<33

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delightfulstarlightparadise · 4 years ago

Text

Imagine Reader/Katsuki Bakugo part 2

Part one here:

Be aware that English is not my mother language, but I am doing my best.

Also, it has been a long time since I last watched or read BNHA, some stuff may be out of the context of the anime.

So far you got into the academy half semester, everybody was curious to know which quirk you had. They discovered it is regenerating when you got into an ugly fight with Bakugo after a rivalry over a P.E. class in witch you tied times. You and Bakugo are punished by having to clean the class together. You tell him your secret: Aizawa is your uncle and also that your quirk leaves scars in your body. You do so by showing your chest to him. Professor Mic gets you in what he thinks is a making out session

Now you are both sitting in front of Director Nezu, Aizawa by your side facepalming with what you are pretty sure is the most disappointed face he has ever made. Professor Mic stands beside him, holding a laugh.

"I mean... I know you humans have... peculiar, sexual habits, and you are in that age." Nezu says after a sip from his tea. "But it is a very grave rule breaking you are commiting here."

"WE WERE NOT ABOUT TO DO ANYTHING!" Bakugo screams for the third time. "If so, I was going to attack y/n"

"WHAT?!" Aizawa exclaims, as Bakugo burns red in realizing what he had just said.

"No! Attack likein assault... no! Like in beating the shit out of... "

"Shut up, you're not helping anyone." you say, putting your collar up and shrinking into the chair with your arms crossed.

"Look, y/n was the one who opened the shirt!" He continues.

Professor Mic is not even trying to stop himself from laughing anymore, he even leans against Aizawa, whose face is completely enraged.

"Well Aizawa, once you are the one responsible for y/n, you might sign the warning." says Nezu, putting a pen on top of a paper full of words. "And we will call Mrs. Bakugo tomorrow."

"Will call my... oh fuck." Bakugo pulls his hair in grief.

"And so the both of you know, as much as I don't think this will be necessary to say, if it repeats again you will both be... expelled" Director Nezu says, and you can se a sparkle of meaningness in his eye.

You can feel Aizawa's eyes burning onto you.

...

Aizawa gave you the worst lecture you've ever seen in your life. You apologize to him as much as you can, but he is still angry. This makes you upset, but you promise him you will stay out of trouble. He is the only family you have and you care a lot about him and his approval.

This makes you go back to your dorm, head down, thinking about getting back to keeping a low profile. People call you to seat with them and play some uno, but you refuse and go straight to your room. But as you open the door, Bakugo closes it back. You get face to face with him, both of you agressively staring at each other.

"This was on you!" He says bumping his index against your chest.

"What's wrong? Afraid of mama? Is Big Bom Bom Boy a mommy's boy?" You answer, pushing him away from you.

"What did you just call me, brat?!"

As you see Bakugo get his hands ready to fight, you prepare yourself yo fight back. But you sunddely remember Aizawa's disappointed look. You shrink your shoulders and put your head down once again. Bakugo stares, confused.

You step back and bow.

"Sorry. I didn't mean that. I apologize." you say, then you get inside of the room as fast as you can.

"What?" You hear him saying.

You sit, leaning against the door and sob a little. You,then, clean your face and go to your desk to study.

...

As the weeks go by, Bakugo tries to compete with you many times, at first you do it too, but when you notice Aizawa looking, you keep your pace down and step away not to cause trouble.

You can clearly see that Bakugo gets even more angry when this happens, but he does not talk to you or insists until the next time.

In a month you get back to being a quiet presence in the class. Except for you can always feel Bakugo's fierce eyes on the back of your neck.

Until a day you are studing for the tests and a ball hits the tree you are leaning against and shakes it very hard. A boy comes running towards you.

"Hey, sorry!" Says Tetsutetsu. "We are playing quirkball, and SOMEONE hit the ball way too hard" he says staring at the court.

"Quirkball?" you ask while he helps you stand and clean your uniform.

"It is like volleyball, but you can use your quirk yo cheat. Wanna play?"

"I... I don't see how I can use my quirk to cheat on volleyball." you answer, organizing your materials and ready to go.

"HEEEEY! Y/N COME PLAY WITH US!!" you hear Uraraka's voice, followed by Midoriya, Tsuyu and Kirishima.

They scream so much at you that you get too embarassed not to play. When you get there, HE is there, staring at you.

"Midoriya, Uraraka, Kirishima vs Y/n, Bakugo and me, Tusyu is the juge" Tetsutetsu announces and then turns to you. "Leave Midoriya's balls to me."

He immediately turns himself into iron.

You and Bakugo exchange a look, he seems a little surprized to see you there and you get confused feelings about it. For a brief moment you think you have seen him smile. But as you look at him again, he is making that rageful face.

"Stay out of my way." He says, pushing you aside and stomping to the spot near the net."I am gonna EXTERMINATE all of you!" Bakugo points at the other team.

"It... it is just a game Kaachan." Midoriya sutters while Uraraka facepalms.

"COME AT ME, BRO!" Kirishima screams back at him, turning himself into rock.

You barely see the game start. Tetsutetsu launches the ball, which goes straight to Kirishima. He recieves it easily, hitting it to Uraraka's direction. She touches it gently and it floats above the net, where Midoriya shows up and kicks it with his quirk.

"I WILL GET IT!" you hear Tetsutetsu scream, but the ball is coming straight in your direction.

"Wait, no!!" Midoriya screams and everyone gasps.

You put yourself in reception position and the ball hits your arms, you can feel them breaking in an excruciating pain, but you are used to it. The ball bounces and hits Tetsutetsu's head, he was not even paying attention anymore, he was trying to reach to save you.

Bakugo comes from nowhere and cuts the ball with a huge explosion to the other side of the net.

"DIE!!" He screams.

It bursts against the floor while everyone is staring at you.

Tetsutetsu kneels beside you.

"Oh my god! Let's take y/n to Recovery Girl!" he says, trying to lift you in his shoulders.

"WHAT? No, I'm ok! I'm ok!" You say jumping away from him.

Everyone stares at you while you move your arms to show they are intact.

"What? That is my quirk, remeber?" You say, shrinking your shoulders, a little embarassed about all the fuzz.

"You are amazing!!" Kirishima screams, hands on head.

"Y/n can catch Midoriya's balls too!! I tought only me and Kirishima could do it!" Tetsutetsu says shaking you from your shoulders.

"Ahn... let's not overdo it, though." You say.

"ARE WE GONNA PLAY OR WHAT?!" Bakugo screams, launching a ball so explosive, it puts Kirishima to the ground.

As the game goes, you recieve the ball from Tetsutetsu and assist Bakugo many times. Each point you get, you and Tetsutetsu start celebrating more and more excitedly. Bakugo refuses to take part in this, but he seems to be having as much fun as you. Probably because he has already hurt everyone in the other side at least once.

Tsuyu announces the end of the game, you won.

Tetsutetsu pulls both of you into a forced hug. Your head meets Bakugo chest, it is all sweaty, but it does not smell bad as in most people. Bakugo smells like caramel, probably because of his quirk. Also, you can feel the extreme heat it emanates, it is like hugging a hot water purse.

As he screams and curses for Tetsutetsu to let him go, you blush. Why are you noticing these kind of things?! You look at him, eyes wide open and notice that your heartbeat has gone high.

He looks back at you with a confused expression. Your already blushed face turns completely red, and he stops fighting Tetsutetsu and blushes too.

When Tetsutetsu lets you go, you are both looking at the other side. You have your hands in your cheeks and shake your head. He right away starts going away without a word.

"He normally does that when he loses." Kirishima says, confused. "Nice game...oooooh..."

You look at him and realize he notices your blush. He is impressed at first, but then smirks at you.

"OOOOoooooh..." he says again opening a huge smile.

Not knowing what to do about it, you shake your hands at him, making an "x" trying to avoid letting him say anything else. Then, you do the only thing your brain can think of: you run the hell away from there.

...

Caramel smell. Who smells like caramel?! You head is confused, you can't sleep. You decide to stand up and study. As you sit in your desk all you can remember is that look you exchanged while locked together in Tetsutetsu's hug.

Oh dear, were you liking Katsuki Bakugo?! The jerk who thinks he is better than everyone else? The imbecil who got you in trouble with your uncle twice?

No, it must not be. Your brain is just confused because... you know hatred is often confused with love.

It also turns a lot into it, you've heard.

"Shit!" You say as you notice you left your pen so long on the paper the ink stained it.

You hear a knock on the door.

"Who the f..." you whisper, looking at the clock. It is too late for anyone to visit.

You slowly open it to check who it is. The door is forced towards you and you step back. It closes behind him with a bam.

Caramel smell.

You can't see anything, he has already come to you with the most furious kiss you have ever recieved. How else could he kiss, he was an agressive boy, he should kiss ageessively.

"What the hell?" You say, pushing him away, but he is stronger than you, you can only separate your faces, he holds you tight against him.

"Shut up." He says leaning on your neck and starting to suck at it.

"Hey! Hey! What the fuck is this?!" You ask taking some steps back, but he follows you. You can feel that whatever he is doing is gonna leave a mark.

"Do you want it or not?!" He asks, pushing you against the wall and pressing his body against yours.

You can fell the caramel scent taking over your brain. You fell your body getting soft against his. You can't get yourself to offer any more resistence.

"Want it or not?" He repeats, his red eyes staring deep into yours.

"I... I do." You say, putting your hands on his hips and lifting your chin in his direction.

He smiles at you, you wait for him to kiss you again.

You hear an annoying noise.

It is your phone ringing with the alarm. You were passed out in your study table. It is time to get ready for classes.

You lean your head on your hands and lose the count of how many "fucks" you say.

You like Katsuki Bakugo.

Next part here:

#bakugo #katsuki bakugo #bakugo imagine #bakugo and reader #bnha imagines #bnha fanfic #bakugo fanfiction

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wherepoetswentodie · 4 years ago

Note

Do you think BoM is racist? I'm conflicted because I love the show and the characters, but it's starting to feel icky?

Okay, before I start I just want to point out that

1) I’m white

2) BoM is literally the only work of Matt and Trey that I’m familiar with, so this is the only show I know them through.

Before seeing the show for the first time last year, I didn’t really know anything about. All I had really seen was the cast performing the opening number at the 2012 Tony Awards, Andrew performing I Believe at the awards the year before and some songs from the cast recording.

Last year, it came to Manchester and one of my best friends and I decided to go because we try and see every tour that comes to Manchester. And I loved it. I remember getting to the end of Turn It Off and thinking that it was one of the best shows that I’d ever seen. And I loved it so much that I bought tickets to see it again, which isn’t something I do a lot because tickets are expensive and I struggle to justify spending upwards of £80 on 2 and half hours of my life.

And here’s the thing; I’ve always known the show was racist. From the first joke with Mrs Brown giving Price and Cunningham a ‘Lion King send off’, it’s pretty clear that the jokes are going to make everyone feel uncomfortable. And it is uncomfortable - the AIDS jokes are awful, and the ‘I’m going to rape a baby’ has always been one of my least favourite parts of the show. But these jokes are easily looked over and justified because ‘everyone gets made fun of’. And yeah, I guess they do - Elder McKinley being gay is hilarious, Elder Cunningham being weird is hilarious, the Mormon faith as a whole is strange and confusing, Elder Price being so uptight is hilarious - but they all get redeemed.

It’s implied that Elder McKinley accepts who he is at the end of the show, Elder Cunningham is still weird but suddenly looked up to as a prophet, the Mormon faith is abandoned in favour of a new religion and Elder Price isn’t uptight and horrible anymore.

The Ugandan’s never get that redemption or proper character arc; it’s pointed out in the last show that there’s no cure for AIDS, the last line of the show is literally ‘I’ve still got maggots in my scrotum’, the Ugandan’s are still reduced to a joke about AIDS whilst the main (white) characters get well thought out, well written character arcs. (And I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that - Elder Price’s character arc is one of my favourites, but they could have done SO much more for the Ugandans).

(Also the whole last song is basically colonialism lol)

Another thing I’ve noticed; Nabulungi isn’t as fleshed out as she should be. There is SO much more to her than just being Elder Cunningham’s love interest. It was Nabulungi who wrote the play at the end of the show - she is literally a writer, she’s obviously intelligent - so why is this always ignored?

And I’m one of the people who always say that once art is put out into the world, it stops being the property of the artists, and the property of the fans. And with the things I’ve written, I feel like I’ve given Connor more of a personality than him being gay, I’ve changed the tone of the Book of incident because it’s always made me uncomfortable, and I’ve given Elder Poptarts and Elder Church more of a personality - along with all the other background Elders.

It’s probably obvious to anyone who’s ever read anything that I’ve wrote that I love writing about Kevin, and that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with writing about him or any of the other Elders, but we should put that same time and energy into fleshing out the villagers.

Here’s some articles and videos that probably explain this better than me:

https://www.dailycardinal.com/article/2019/09/the-book-of-mormon-punches-down-racist-tropes-remain

https://qcitymetro.com/2018/07/27/time-that-a-black-person-reviewed-the-book-of-mormon/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OPz7LZDNkw&feature=emb_title

#this was long sorry #tbom musical #kevin price #connor mckinley #mcpriceley #asks #anon

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kpop-rambles · 5 years ago

Text

Goodbye 2019. Hello 2020.

To celebrate the new year - which a lot of people are celebrating right now, I’m sure, unfortunately not me yet - I decided to create this post. I don’t know how to explain it but if you like kpop, keep reading!

My Top 3 Songs of 2019

1. SKZ - Miroh

This song got me into my now ult group, Stray Kids. Those 9 boys have honestly made this year 10x better for me. Chan’s VLives definitely helped me when I was upset, and the members made me feel emotions by their side. I’m so glad that add of Miroh appeared and I chose to watch it because I may have not gotten into Stray Kids without it.

2. ATEEZ - Wave

Again, another song that got me into the group. I heard the song in a video where they played huge jenga at Kcon... I think? Anyways, this song is another banger and you completely fall in love with it first listen. You won’t regret listening to this.

3. TWICE - Fancy

I got into TWICE when they released YES OR YES, but FANCY is the song that you can’t not fall in love with. I did on my 2nd listen and man, if you’re saying you didn’t learn the dance and bopped to this song, you are LYING because- let’s be honest - everyone said FANCY SOTY.

Groups I began stanning in 2019 its felt like forever tho

Stray Kids - March 26th. You think I would forget?

ATEEZ - August 18th. Another date I remember, because I spent a good 2 hours getting to memorize the members name and faces. Was so happy when I finally did it.

iKON - Honestly, I was more of a Double B stan since January until Hanbin left. I loved their songs but I never got to know the rest of the members, except for Jinhwan.

ChungHa - Snapping dragged me in. That’s all I gotta say. Although, ngl, Gotta Go was something I always tried to dance to.

KARD - Again, Bomb Bomb just pulled me into the fandom. The rest of their discography made me stay. I sang along to Bomb Bomb everyday for a good 3 months. It was honestly EVERYTHING to me and then Dumb Litty came and stole my heart and KARD did it AGAIN.

Mamamoo - gogobebe. Do I really need to say anything else?

GOT7 - I’m pretty sure I got into them because, well everyone knows GOT7. They’re a name everyone knows if you like kpop, so I just wanted to get into them. Eclipse and You Calling My Name are songs I’ll dance and singalong to in the right mood and right part of the song. But their personalities dragged me in. I’m pretty sure BamBam also attracted me when he was on Stray Kids reality show.

Day6 - Time Of Our Life. I decided to listen to it because Seungmin of Stray Kids was a big fan of them and I was like, it shouldn’t hurt to try. Seungmin made me want to watch and Day6 made me want to stay. They don’t make ANY bad songs.

Everglow - March 18. Listened to Bon Bon Chocolat when it came out, and I was honestly scared ppl were gonna sleep on them cause ITZY debuted a month before. Fortunately, everyone noticed their talent.

BigBang - I dunno just listened to one of their songs. And, of course, I fell in love. Too late to stan them while they were active, but I’m expecting something in 2020... just saaying.

NCT - All of the subunits. Honestly there were so many of them, I spent time taking tests to tell them apart. The struggle to stan these boys. Instantly fell in with the Dreamies. And then I found out they weren’t a fixed unit... My heart shattered. It’s still breaking because 4 OF THEM ARE LEAVING. or left. I dunno.

Tomorrow by Together - They were probably the most anticipated group of this year. I remember ppl hyping them up in October of 2018! Predebut stan right here. (I just remembered that I thought the preview of each member was coming out in age order and thinking that Beomgyu was the youngest. And I was just like WHERE IS HEUNINGKAI FROM?!?!)

ITZY - remember when everyone thought that itzy’s debut was rushed because info about them was leaked. yeah, i forgot too. anyways, again I was a predebut stan.

(G)- idle - i always listened to their title tracks and I began stanning them during Queendom after their Fire cover im listening to 2ne1 2015 mama fire performance rn lol.... omg bom’s han cover just started playing. spotify is watching me guys.

Somi - Birthday was a bop. fight me. outfits sucked, gotta agree with that opinion I didn’t rlly know much about IOI but I started stanning because Jenchu were fangirling to it i mean jennie twerked for it!

Jimin Park - I’m out here still streaming STAY BEAUTIFUL. honestly she’s so loveable. her personality and her voice are everything. how can you not like her

My Top 5 Groups of the Year

1. STRAY KIDS - A lot of the reasons I luv them are the same as ATEEZ. That’s why ateez are close to being my number one, but honestly these 9 boys are everything to me. 9 or NONE FOREVER. They have been through so much this year and I hope they STAY strong for 2020. In their 2020 seasons greeting they announced a full album next year, so I’m ready to follow these boys on their journey no matter how many stay or leave. I’m a STAY for a reason.

2. ATEEZ - PERSONALITY. I’m also a sucker for groups that shove their love for each other in your face. 8 makes 1 team, y’know? Hongjoong and Mingi are amazing rappers, Jongho, Wooyoung and San’s vocals tho, Yunho and Seonghwa’s deep voices are the death of me, and Yeosang dancing. They’re talented and luvable and that’s all I need for an ult group. also all their songs are bops

3. Mamamoo - Honestly would’ve tied with Twice but these I’m a sucker for them as ppl as well, and I need that to luv a group. they ain’t fake, they slap information in your face and they are POWERFUL WOMAN. (Not saying twice aren’t ofcourse) And these girls vocals are on POINT. Moonbyul is rapper material, but have you heard the girl song? What an angel. Their songs are all slaps, especially the most recent ones.

4. TWICE - This was their year? yes or yes. Fancy soty. Feel Special was a great title track, don’t get me wrong, bUT HAVE YOU HEARD THE FULL ALBUM. Every song is my AMAZING. omg rainbow is playing

5. NCT DREAM - These boys stole my heart, I only stanned nct because of them. Honestly seeing the 00 line leave breaks my heart.

My Top 5 girl group and boy group songs

gg songs were honestly so hard to pick, they thrived and SO many good songs were made in 2019. But here is my list.

1. Fancy - soty

2. Hip - this song was everything from the choreo to the song itself to the girls energy performing it

3. Psycho - came out like last week but it’s in everyone's top 10 of this year. Beautiful song that won’t get outta my head. getwellsoonwendy.

4.Violeta - this is another song that won’t get out of my head. honestly none of these songs will. ok so the final dance part after the drop of violeta pisses me off because the dance could is so powerful and that part comes and it’s such a disappointment but it’s the only part I can do so i shouldn't complain but the song itself is very catchy. I don’t want these girls to disband even if the votes were rigged because they make a good group and sing bangers. i don't want them to leeeave.

5.Lion - the song is just so powerful. other songs they’ve made are good, but the chorus is usually a disappointment because the pre chorus is so good but EVERYTHING is great about Lion. Didn’t like it at first for some reason, i dunno why, but once you give it a few more listens you’ll fall in love.

Now onto the boy groups. They made quite a few bangers this year as well.

1. Miroh - It’s my no.1 of the year. watchu expect?

2. Wave - and this is my no.2. Again, what else would I put here?

3. Run Away - what. a. bop. still can’t get out of my head. Crown was a disappointment to me after 1000 listens but not Run Away. A bonus is the Harry Potter references. With that I just was head over heels in love. Txt didn’t fail to disappoint with their comeback even if it was pushed back.

4. Boom - This song made me fall in love with the talent that NCT DREAM holds despite being so young. Sang along for a few months. Actually, it’s still in my head.

5. Make It Right - I was doing title tracks for all these but then I realised there has to be an exception because I just really like this song, especially the one featuring Lauv. Boy with luv wasn’t it for me but every other song on Persona is a straight up masterpiece (ok an exaggeration but u get what i mean)

Now onto the soloists (they’re all female, sry not sry)

1. Chica - I was debating whether to put Snapping or this but decided with Chica. Honestly the vocals, the song, the dance, the MESSAGE, is everything. I love it, it empowers woman, it makes ME feel good, and it’s what some people really need sometimes. So, thank you ChungHa.

2. Gotta Go - another bop by our queen ChungHa, she really ruled this year. I didn’t stan her when it came out but that doesn’t mean I didn’t do the ‘deulshi’ part whenever I heard it. iconic.

3. Twit - Again another iconic bop from this year. (i thought this masterpiece came out last year, i dunno why but it just is so 2018 for some reason? I dunno) Hwasa’s solo debut really was everything. So was Moonbyul’s which unfortunately didn't make it on the list but I would say it’s in between 5th to 7th for me.

4. Stay Beautiful - Such a beautiful song, it was a shame Jamie had to leave but she left JYP saying that they lost smth PRECIOUS and they would regret it and she conveyed all that in one song without hinting at it. So many quote worthy lyrics were in the song and it just bring up my mood and my standard for vocals. Don’t sleep on this girl, y’all.

5. Birthday - the song brought out mixed reactions from everyone but i LOVED IT. It did get a bit old but it’s still something you’ll find me singing along to every now and then.

ARTISTS THAT STOOD OUT TO ME THIS YEAR

1. Bang Chan of Stray Kids. I love him. He’s such a great leader, he’s a loveable person, he’s all rounded and he fucks up sometimes but he acknowledges it and fixes it. He went through so much shit this year and he deserves so much more. I, along with many other STAYs are gonna make 2020 a better year for him and all of his group. Stay strong Chan! But besides his personality his stage presence, his rapping, his singing, his producing, his energy, his personality, it all made him someone who was always on my mind.

2. Yeonjun of Tomorrow x Together. He’s also very well rounded and he really stands out to me from all the other 4th gens. Whenever I see a performance by TXT he always grabs my attention even when he’s not the main focus. I love his dancing, it’s very eye catching to me, along with his stage presence. He never loses his energy on stage and I expect a lot from him in 2020! His rapping and singing are amazing as well, especially for a rookie. Also when they first debuted he cried a lot, which was very heartwarming to me because idols showing emotion other than happy is something I appreciate, because it lets me remember they’re human too.

3. Seulgi of Red Velvet. She’s, again, very well rounded. I’m not really a Reveluv, but Wendy and Seulgi are vocalists who really stand out to me so those to kind of make me want to listen to Red Velvet’s songs. She’s an amazing vocalist, like words can’t express how much a love this woman's voice. Her stage presence is amazing as well, she’s just a really good performer imo.

4. Jihyo and Nayeon of TWICE. First of all I really like their personality and how powerful they are. Honestly a wink from them and I’m falling of my chair. Secondly, I don’t know if anyone's noticed but I really like powerful female vocals, and these two have extremely POWERFUL vocals. Have you heard them sing? Just... POWERFUL, that’s all I can really say to describe their voices.

5. Mingi and Hongjoong of ATEEZ. They are rapper that are gonna blow away the whole industry with 3racha, I mean they already have. Did y’all see their performance in MAMA. The RAWEST vocals I heard that whole show. They were obviously not lip syncing, you could hear Mingi panting and he didn’t rap a whole line, and I LOVE that because it is RAW and we need more raw vocals or atleast breaths heard when the artists are dancing because it makes the performance more REAL. also stage presence is amazing from these two, they really know how to hype up a crowd.

ROOKIE GROUPS I EXPECT A LOT FROM NEXT YEAR

sorry my expectations are high for them, but they have stood out tome so much and i couldn’t stand to see them flop.

1. TOMORROW X TOGETHER - they’ve been on this list quite a lot, and I really appreciate their individual talents along with them as a group. I REALLY want to see them improve and grow more next year because they were really pushed this year, being BTS’s juniors. I’m sure they were really stressed but I want them to become TOMORROW BY TOGETHER not BTS’s juniors. Probably won’t happen in a year but hopefully in the next decade.

2. ITZY - another group really known for theing the juniors of TWICE this time. The title tracks they released so far have all been listen to it the first time, you don;t like it, but listen to it the 2nd time and it’s stuck in your head for the next 7 months. Honestly if they keep going like this, it would be like a ITZY thing, and I honestly wouldn’t mind.

3. EVERGLOW - i think everyone just saw bon bon chocolat, gave it a listen, and loved it. but i also heard it was produced by someone who helped produce Crown by TXT and Spring Day by BTS, so there’s another reason ppl may have liked it so much. Adios wasn’t a disappointment at all. Of course, I would also love it if Everglow kept up the “nanana” thing in each of their title tracks.

4. ATEEZ - I don’t think they’ll flop at all next year. I know they just had their 1st year anniversary, but I wouldn’t mind a full album... either way, Imma stick with them because they’ve only released that good shit so far and I’m honestly expecting a somewhat mediocre song at least once in their career next year. Not expecting it though.

5. ONEUS - I haven’t’t talked about them yet but all of oneus’s title tracks are absolute gold. I am a mess for Valkyrie, Twilight AND Lit. They’re all just AMAZING songs. I mean, what did we expect from Mamamoo’s juniors but. They are REALLY good. Just go listen to all their title tracks rn.

And finally, wishes for 2020

- Of course, Wendy to recover after her tragic incident at SBS. Again, I hope she recovers well

- Mina to come back from her hiatus, only if she’s ready to, of course

- BLACKPINK FULL ALBUM. ROSE SOLO. PLEASE.

- Of course, 4th gen to thrive along with 3rd gen and 2nd gen groups

- A full album from stray kids (which was confirmed) and again, maybe for ATEEZ? just maybe?

- More attention for Mamamoo. They are underrated queens.

- Less hate for Tomorrow By Together. People bash them just because they’re BTS’s juniors. they would be praised a less but definitely not doubted way more if they weren’t under Bighit. Yeah, they get luxuries other groups won’t but that doesn’t mean people should degrade them for it.

And with that

I wish everyone a Happy New Year. May your next decade be filled with happiness and joy! omg fancy started playing

also i didn’t have time to properly edit this. then again i am a rambling blog, so what are you expecting?

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jackednephi · 5 years ago

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On daily scripture study

Kind of a long post. I'm on mobile so no cut. Sorry :(

Ok so I'm gonna try doing something this year that I haven't in the past and that's reading my scriptures every single day. In the past, I've been hindered by like approaching it as the Ideal like we learn in seminary which is Deep Study every single day. Obviously, I ended up failing because that's such a lofty goal. I mean, it always ended up being good for me because it would inevitably deepen my study. I'd involve Google in with the footnotes and get really deep into things. Like the post I have forever ago about Nephi's sword type of thing. But research rather than happenstance and it's part of why I know so much about kosher laws off the top of my head

Something else I think has been a hindrance to this goal has been the idea that I need to bust out my physical scriptures to do so and, at least when I was in high school, the only comfortable place I had to do this was the couch in the living room. Also, if I'm being honest, I was definitely doing Way Too Much (as is the common Mormon trap tbh) But I'm not doing Way Too Much because what work I get is by no means full time. I do what I can around the house, but that's limited to weather, spoons, and so on. I'm in the process of applying for disability but that's not an all day, every day type of affair. I'm going back to school eventually and studying for the GRE in the meantime but, again, even with all this, I have a lot of open time. And I have a comfy bed if nowhere else

ALL THAT SAID, I wanted to know if anybody used the LDS library app for reading and how that worked out. I figured if I can make time to read bits of fanfiction/otome apps every day, then I can try to read the scriptures every day. Also, is the app good for study? I know it's good for church use so will be good for casual reading but a big reason I haven't relied on it for daily reading is that I'm worried about relying on it for regular study

I mean, I've always been partial to physical books and scriptures (I can write in them and I like the heft and can use them even when headaches crop up) but I need to be realistic with myself. Sometimes I can't even get out of bed for hip pain and can't even prop myself up to read a physical copy. Plus, I do NOT want my kids (the buns for those of 6ou unaware) thinking it's something they can destroy cause we give them phone books and stuff to shred and scriptures are similar enough. But again, not sure if the app is good enough for me to kind of "retire" my scriptures so to speak. Especially since I really, really, REALLY like marking them and writing notes in them. I know there's a little notebook thing but, again, I've been reluctant to explore it because I was pretty sure there was no way it could be as good as physically writing

How does everyone else approach what to study too, by the way? Do y'all go "I will study what we are in Sunday school this year" or do you just eat up the BOM year after year instead? Do you switch it up from day to day just going wherever? Do you start with the ensign and work from there? Conference talks? Because that's technically scripture too, right? Also, would it be a good idea to maybe record my progress in my journal I use for scriptures and study maybe? Like the date, where I read from and to, maybe some quick notes? Or would that be too ambitious for now? I was thinking it would be good to see if I've been actually accomplishing reading every day and adjust accordingly if I wasn't. Maybe printing out a little calendar or chart and giving myself a cute little sticker as a reward for that day to mark my progress

Like the goal is to get myself to make this a habit. It has never ever been a habit for me and that definitely needs to change. Like I do read scriptures but never daily like we're told. I want to give myself as much opportunity for success as possible and, considering I'm 25, I clearly have yet to figure out what I need to do for success. I'd tried every day in the mornings in high school but needed to wake up at 430 to do that due to morning JROTC practice three days a week and seminary the other two. Then, who's going to wake up that early on the weekends to keep that kind of habit? Not a growing, anorexic, overscheduled teenager, that's who

Then, I'd have after school stuff. Drama, choir practice, viola practice, fencing, or karate depending on the year, piano practice/lesson every day except Sundays, JROTC stuff depending on time of year and if stuff was coming up, a MOUNTAIN of homework, and by the time all that was done, it wasn't like I was in any shape to do more studying. I wanted to play video games or draw or read or otherwise destress. Then, I was inactive in college so why would I go out of my way to form (let alone keep) a daily scripture habit

So do I go for a same time every single day type thing? I attribute the past failure of that to circumstance. A set time is fine when I have/remember to take my meds. But that will probably fall apart other days and habits are consistent things. Maybe I should aim for, instead of a time, more of a "as soon as I wake up, have had food and meds" type of flexible thing so I'm not beating myself up for sleeping in until noon when I meant to get up at 8? Or do y'all find later in the day better because you're not having to worry about the Rest Of The Day setting in on you? I'm thinking after me waking might be best so I'm not feeling guilty for taking time away from my family

Regarsing frequency, should I start with doing it as often as possible? Shoot for once a week then slowly increase it? Go whole hog and get it done daily even if it's just a couple minutes? I genuinely do not know. The year my family and I read the BOM every day together, I was in elementary and not doing too much. We did four chapters a day, more if they were short and less if they were long, but my parents really were the ones who dictated that so I don't really know how to do that myself

Anyway, I really want to make sure this goal sees success and then, in time to come, I can deepen it to be rigorous study rather than just reading every day. Thus all the questions. I also know different people are different and what may work for y'all may not work for me. But I would like real answers as to how y'all do your scripture habits as opposed to like Advice y'know? Like get real specific with it so I can have a good idea of what works for different people so I have a concrete idea of things to try

Nobody is obligated to answer any of these questions by the way. Just I wanted to ask them and throw this out there to all of tumblrstake so I could get a good range of answers. Daily scripture study is such a nebulous concept to me that I definitely need concrete examples as opposed to vague advice. Also no I'm not gonna pray about how to know how to do things. HF doesn't work like that. I mean I will pray for guidance to know when things are working or not but I can't do that until I'm actively Doing The Thing and how am I supposed to actively Do The Thing if I don't really even have a starting place

Like do I hit up the church website and comb through conference talk after conference talk about "read your scriptures daily" in hopes of finding a more practical how to? I'd think there would be less of that and more admonishing. I was also born in the church so idk if converts get some kind of lesson from the missionaries the rest of us don't about how to read daily. If so, can we like spread that to the general populous? Cause I would appreciate it

Anyway, sorry for the wall of text. Vann had Questions

Feel free to hit up my inboxes by the way. I do read everything even if some asks sit there for like months at a time because I never get around to answering them

#queerstake #tumblrstake #lds #scripture study #ask to tag #i think i got all the ones needed to try and get people seeing this in the tags to answer me questions #feel free to tell me how your family members study too #i need all the concrete answers i can get

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b-kitsune · 5 years ago

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Many ways to say I love you: Day Twenty Three.

Kidge-a-palooza 2019 Prompt: Pillow Talk. Pairing: Kidge (VLD) Universe: Canon. Status: Part 5/7

Keith threw the papers toward the table when his eyesight began to feel more tired than usual, and sleepier than he would like to admit. He brought one of his fingers to the bridge of his nose to massage the discomfort that had given him to review hundreds of reports that were the same as his judgment. Arriving on earth had had great benefits for everyone, Keith could admit that, but working with Garrison's bureaucracy was something he was definitely not used to. Not even the Blade needed to resort to so much paperwork after field explorations or errands with allied planets. After he was unable to understand what he was reading, no matter how much he tried to concentrate, Keith decided to leave until the next morning.

Or day, in space it was difficult to know the time when one was distracted for too long. He saw his holopad clock to find out how many hours of sleep he had left before starting a new routine in Atlas.

2:35 a.m

He stretched with regret while he got up, at least he could rest about five hours before the first alarm. He headed for his designated room, dragging his feet through the corridors, watching like some people still stood watching the safety of the ship in which they were traveling on orders from the commanders. Something inside Keith was removed from nostalgia when he thought about how different Atlas was from the Castle of lions. Although his last years had lived between the secret base of BOM and in the quantum abysm next to his mother, Keith still had good memories when he lived with his friends in the altean castle.

Like how Hunk was investigating and preparing new dishes with what he found on desolate planets, Coran and Allura on the central bridge directing new coordinates to their destinations as guardians of the universe, Lance competing with him for the aisles at the slightest comment or suspicious look, Shiro instructing him on what was the best combat technique in the training room. Or Pidge resting in the lion's hangar updating her duties while trying to explain to him what she was doing, failing in the attempt.

Many times, those memories saved him from the madness of living in the middle of an intergalactic war. Sometimes even he couldn't measure everything they had lived in the last time since they discovered the blue lion in the desert. But there they were, in a ship of the latest terrestrial technology created by Commander Holt, fighting together with hundreds of people of different races to restore the freedom of the universe against the coming threats.

Although Keith at that time just wanted to sleep.

When he passed through the rest area, he vaguely remembered another of the many personal memories of the castle he guarded suspiciously. For a few seconds, he thought it was ridiculous, considering how many people in Atlas anyone could enter the room to pass the time. But he didn't stop his feet from moving automatically, opening the doors in the expectation of finding her with her computer.

His surprise was immediate when his instincts didn't deceive him. In the middle of a dark room, Pidge was lying on the floor wrapped in a comforter seemingly warm enough for comfort, with a cup of coffee on one side, and her computer in front. Her lenses reflected any image, so she would surely be watching a movie.

Keith smiled to himself when that image of seeing Pidge spending time as a normal teenager became very similar when they lived in the castle. His heart contracted from a sensation he thought he had long forgotten, but there he was again, excited to think of being alone in the same space as her, far from the sight of others.

''If you want to rest, we have rooms, you know?'' Pidge jumped when she heard his voice and the sound of the door closing behind his back. ''It's late, you should be sleeping.''

''Oh yeah?'' Pidge answered selflessly, stopping whatever she was seeing on her computer, stretching lazily. It seems that not only he had run out of time. ''I didn't even realize.''

''Clearly.''

Keith lay next to her, causing Pidge to slap her shoulder playfully while claiming about her ‘stolen space’ and trying to get away from him. Keith also removed the comforter after settling on the floor for Pidge to claim with greater emphasis. Causing a battle of laughter while fighting.

''Hey, that was mine!''

''I confiscate it, your leader needs it.'' Keith answered taking Pidge's hands so he wouldn't take it off easily. She just snorted incredulously.

''Since when does my leader Galra need such a thick blanket?'' She questioned struggling her wrists to free herself from his hands, highlighting the Galra in prayer.

''I have begun to age hastily during this trip.'' Keith moved enough to turn their bodies when they laughed, causing Pidge to stay under him, wrists held by his hands. ''It's something Galra.''

''What a liar you are!''

''You don't believe me?''

''Give me back my blanket!'' Pidge said, imitating an offended accent despite the wide smile on her lips. Keith approached his face to give her a quick kiss on her nose.

''Sorry Pidge, now it belongs to me.''

''The leader of Voltron is a thief and a pedophile, help!''

Pidge shouted before they fell into a new caress and tickle fight, but not too loud to be heard outside. Keith laughed at how ridiculous it sounded while defending himself against her attacks, taking her wrists to stop her again. This time, Pidge was on top of his body as she rested her arms on his chest, looking at him with that cheeky smile that Keith found so irresistible of her, especially when she bit her lower lip unconsciously at a thought.

God, he had missed her so much in recent years, even if it had been only months for her, it had been an eternity for him.

Keith for a moment realized that they had stopped fighting for several seconds, coughing slightly to rebuild their posture. It was very easy to get lost in those golden eyes when he had them so close.

''I accept the thief, but I never remember becoming a pedophile.'' Keith said with a serious look or an attempt from her. Pidge for her part, snorted hard.

''You are with a minor, Mr. Kogane. You should know that what you are doing is illegal.'' Pidge raised an eyebrow when she saw his surprised face. ''And considering that now you have two more years since your return in the quantum abyss, I fear that five years of difference implies a rather high sentence.''

''It's funny that you tell me about illegal acts, Pidge Gunderson.''

Keith defended himself, but without malice in his words, he was only following in stupid play that Pidge had decided to propose. He didn't take it seriously; they weren't on earth anyway and he had done much more than lying next to his younger companion in a government room.

The only thing Keith could fear on that ship over any officer if someone came into the room by chance was Commander Holt. Who surely had no idea about the relationship he had with his daughter under the table and anyone's eyesight. For a while, he supposed that Matt and Shiro suspected after what happened in Naxzela, but they were reasonable enough not to say anything at the moment.

The war they lived in had turned them into something strange. They were nothing, and they were all at once. Close friends who supported each other in ways no one else could.

He circled Pidge's waist with his hands to draw her a little closer to his body. The quilt several minutes ago went to the background and at that time they only wanted to stay that way, losing themselves in each other's eyes while their hands gave slight caresses in the area where they were. It was a comfortable environment, where words were not necessary.

If both could see a shooting star through the window of the room, they would like time to stop at that precise moment, where the threats seemed to have disappeared from space and Voltron was not needed.

They expected such a reality to happen soon.

A loud yawn from Pidge quickly brought them out of the trance. Keith smiled sympathetically.

''You better go to sleep.'' Keith said in a soft whisper, Pidge groaned in protest.

''Not yet. Just, let's stay here.''

''You have to rest. We both have to rest or we will fall asleep at the Shiro conference.''

''Fuck Shiro.''

They both laughed at Pidge's scathing comment, coming out more like a groan than something really insulting. She groaned again when she moved closer to Keith's body, placing her head in the space of his neck. She liked his smell; it was much more masculine and attractive than since she last felt it so close.

Pidge closed her eyes for a moment, concentrating on Keith's touches around her waist. Until, without realizing it, the words came out of her mouth.

''Do you think it will ever end?''

''What thing?'' Keith asked, without stopping his caresses, what Pidge thanked internally.

''All this war. I mean, the last time we thought we'd make it, Zarcon didn't die and we had to deal with Lotor. And when we defeated him after we met his true intentions. Zarcon's whitch appeared out of nowhere with a force much more overwhelming than Lotor's. It's like...'' Pidge paused for a moment, taking a breath while ordering the ideas inside her head. Even if she didn't see him, she knew that Keith was listening to her. ''It's like when we think we've won...''

''It just doesn't stop.'' Keith added; Pidge held on with some more force when she heard him.

''Exactly.''

''We knew that this wouldn't be easy... We would have to fight with forces that exceeded us in number and experience, but hey... We have left everything alive so far, right?''

''But how long will that fate last?'' Pidge inquired, with a latent fear blooming from her insides. ''What happens if…?''

''Pidge...''

Keith began a path of kisses on her face sweetly to mitigate her fears. He could understand her, many of those questions were also asked regularly when they left the problems barely alive and a few bruises. And he had never found the answer to any of them.

But at that time, it was his duty to calm her partner's insecurity.

''Everything will be fine.'' He took her face so they could both see each other. ''We are together in this.''

''We were also together when we were stranded in space, and you almost left on your own.'' Pidge's eyes darkened in pain; Keith bit his lower lip at the mention of that experience. ''What guarantees me that it won't happen again?''

''I know you're worried about all this... But even if I can fail, others are also there to support us.''

''It is not enough.''

He knew not.

Sometimes he used to be extremely stubborn and failed countless times as Votron's leader just because of his impulses the first few times. He couldn't help it; he was still human and many situations sometimes surpassed him. The others understood and were willing to support him when Keith was heading towards bad decisions that could cost them their lives.

But Pidge was afraid. And many times, he forgot that, despite her vast intelligence, she was still a sixteen-year-old girl in the middle of a war. Atlas could give them some more stability since they had their families close to the earth and supported them at all times, but ...

It was not enough.

Pidge removed herself from his arms to get up from the ground, with a look fallen from sleep and constant fears that possibly interfered with proper rest.

''Sorry for bothering you with those things.''

''It's ok, Pidge.'' Keith got up too, bringing his hand to her cheek. She felt freezing under his touch. ''It's good to talk those things. If you want, you can always go to my room and continue having pillow talk.'' Pidge's eyes widened at the suggestion and then gave way to a haughty smile.

''Keith, you should take your hands away from me if you don't want to be jailed.''

''Can you stop with that!?''

They started a new sleight of hand that ended when Pidge got up to the exit, taking her computer with her triumphantly. Keith took the comforter off the floor, keeping it in the closet of the room where it belonged.

Pidge before closing the door behind her, turned to Keith.

''Hey Keith.''

''Yeah?'' He answered turning to her once he closed the closet.

''Thank you.'' Keith nodded, approaching her to give her a sweet kiss on her forehead.

''Anytime.''

#peith #kidge #kidgefanfic #monthofkidge #kidgeapalooza #kidgeapalooza 2019 #keith #keith kogane #keith (voltron)#pidge gunderson #pidge holt #katie holt #voltron #voltronship

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klanceficatalogue · 6 years ago

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i read a fic &forgot 2 bookmark. its incomplete (2/3 chapters or something),& it started after keiths near suicide in season 4. that made lance realize that he took their friendship 4 granted & he started to make an effort & they get really close. the only things i remember r theres bed sharing, l picks k up from bom once a week and 1day hes late& red comes to get k to rescue him, l kisses k on the cheek and then freaks out,& l calls k weird nicknames like “french fry”. sorry its so vague :(

Anonymous asked: same anon! just remembered a scene. lance and keith are sitting in a field and keith accuses lance of being his friend out of pity and says he’s fine alone and lance tells him he loves him “just like this” or something equally sappy. l and k are constantly texting back and forth, and l feels really isolated at the castle. also after k rescues l, pidge gets mad and asks what right k still has to be connected w l when he left. plz help!!

Anonymous asked: also, k admits he has cares about l through messaging when they’re sitting next to each other on l’s bed

these have been in drafts for a while so im not sure if anon found them, but could someone tell us the name and author so we can rec it please? -alex

#Anonymous #asks

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ma-lemons · 6 years ago

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rosegarden

Ahahaha so my friend @lethiepie had an excellent little thing: Oscar teaching Ruby Portuguese or Spanish, which I adore!! (I kinda imagined him to be Latino sometimes). A little disclaimer: I don’t speak either of these languages so google translate will be my teacher. This takes place at some random point in time. Doesn’t matter too much.

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Ruby couldn’t sleep one night. However, this time it wasn’t due to a nightmare or hearing people’s voices. Someone was... singing.

Her body ached from the position she had thrown herself in last night. She was sharing a room with Weiss and Nora, who were fine roommates. At least, Weiss was. Nora was a loud snorer, and it bothered Ruby most nights. She, on the other hand, liked to argue that Ruby was the loud snorer. Either way, Weiss would shut them up with a pillow to the head before they all returned back to sleep. She stretched out and blinked in the darkness. She could make out the patterns of Weiss on the bed and Nora on the sofa. Once her sight had adjusted, her ears honed in the soft voice.

She heard a voice, one that she had never heard before. It wasn’t a gorgeous voice, but it was one that reminded Ruby of a school choir and a mother’s lullaby. It had been a while since she had listened to music herself, often she forgot what it sounded like. To hear it was refreshing. The voice sounded strangely familiar, like someone she knew. Yet, the voice sang some indecipherable words.

Deciding sleep wasn’t that important, the teen slipped out from her quilt and sneaked out the door. She didn’t bother to tug on her boots, knowing that she might trip and wake everyone up. She passed her uncle’s room that she shared with Oscar and smiled a bit: she was glad that her uncle was starting to confide in her more. She knew that he had lived a long and difficult life, but that didn’t meant she wouldn’t do her best to be there for him.

The young huntress followed the voice until it grew louder and louder. She slid the door open, finding herself outside. It was a windy night, and Ruby felt her cheeks getting nipped out. Hugging herself she moved towards the smallish figure who was seated at the top stair. The lights revealed the figure to be Oscar, who was singing softly to himself.

Ruby grinned to herself and stood there, watching the young boy sing to himself. She wasn’t sure what he was singing, and she had never heard any other language being spoken before. It was beautiful though. It sounded like a rapid fire jumble of letters, but it had to mean something to him. She watched as the young boy swayed side to side, eyes fixtated on the shattered moon before them. A little while later, he had finished, and sat there in silence. Ruby shuffled forward, and propped herself next to him.

“Hey.”

Oscar jumped, further than she had ever seen him before. He was a few feet away from her now, and she could even see the slight pinkish tint his face had taken on. His chest was heaving up and down and Ruby laughed at the sight of it.

“Ruby! You scared me—how long have you been out here?” he asked, his breath shaky. Did she scare him that much?

The huntress bit her lip. “Uh, not that long. I just heard some singing and decided to follow it. That was you, right?”

He nodded, and regained a better posture. He scooted closer to her and nodded. “Yeah... that was me. Pretty embarrassing.”

Ruby shook her head. “Nope. I liked it. I had no clue what you were singing, but I liked it.”

Oscar didn’t meet her eyes. He clasped his hands together and stared at his toes.

“I was singing... a lullaby. My aunt used to sing me to sleep when I was younger, every time I couldn’t sleep. It kind of reminded me of her. Sorry if that’s super childish,” he admitted.

“Oscar, of course not! I think that’s really sweet.” She patted his back. “And I know you miss her. You’ve been so brave and I know you wish you could see you aunt, just to let her know you’re okay. I understand.”

Oscar looked up, giving one of his signature half smiles back to her. “Thanks, Ruby.”

She nodded. “That lullaby was really cute. What language was it in anyway?”

“Uh, Portuguese.”

“Portuguese?”

“Yeah... I’m part Brazilian, so I was taught how to speak Porteguese.”

Ruby had never heard of Brazil nor Portuguese but she decided to smile and nod anyway. She a made a mental note to one day brush up on her geography skills.

“That’s cool. I wish I could speak another language,” she murmured, hugging her knees.

“I... I could teach you. I mean, if wanted of course,” the farmhand rushed out.

Ruby’s face lit up. “Really? Thank you thank you thank you!” she shouted, hugging Oscar.

“Tomorrow then,” she grinned, standing up. Oscar nodded. “Tomorrow.”

————————————————————————

“So, to say ‘My name is Ruby Rose’ you’d say...” Oscar asked.

“Meu nome é Ruby Rose.”

Oscar gave an encouraging smile. She knew the words... but the pronunciation wasn’t too good. In the morning they had started to learn, they had gotten through pronouns and now he was trying to teach her basic sentences.

“Okay, you’re doing good, but it’s meu, not mi. Mi is Spanish. Try to repeat after me. “May-yoh.”

“Like mayo? So mayo?” He could see the frustrating growing on her face.

“Sort of. I mean, you do understand what you’re saying, and we can work on prounociation later. Do you remember how to say “Hello, how are you?”

“Oi... oi... something something...” she mumbled. She threw up her arms and rested her head on the table. “Face it Oscar,” she sighed,“I’m too stupid to learn Porteguese. I can’t think and I don’t understand any of it. I thought it was cool cause I’ve never heard it before, and I thought having a language only you and I could speak would be fun. So we could gossip about Yang behind her back and play pranks on everyone.”

Oscar raised an eyebrow. He didn’t know the huntress was so serious about learning the language. He felt bad, when an idea came to him.

“Hey Ruby, let’s stop for today and continue tomorrow.” Before she could get in another word, he ran off. She sighed and sat back. “Meu nome é Ruby Rose.”

“Whaaaat are you doing? I heard you and Oscar speaking all morning,” Yang said, poking her head into the dining room.

Ruby, sulking, faced her sister. There was no point of hiding it. “Oscar was trying to teach me to speak his language and I can’t remember anything. I think he’s mad.”

Yang stifled a laugh. “Ruby, it’s no big deal. You can’t learn a language in a day. It probably takes years to do so. Besides, I imagine he’d never get mad at you.”

Ruby sighed. “I guess you’re right, meu irmão.”

“I think that’s brother.”

“What?”

“I think you said ‘my brother’, not sister,” Yang clarified.

“How... how do you even know that?”

“Oh, when I was at Signal, we had a Portuguese class. We mainly spent the days watching telenovelas. I remember a few things.”

So even her sister could remember a language she learned many years ago? Why was she never aware that Portuguese was a language? Since when did Signal have language classes? Ruby groanerd, slamming her head into her hands.

“Rubes, take it easy. You’ll learn in no time.” Yang grinned and left the room.

You know what made her better when she wasn’t in a good mood? Reading comics. She needed to get her mind focused on something else. And that was how she spent the rest of her day, lying in bed, pretending she wasn’t thinking about learning Portuguese with Oscar.

——————————————————————

The next morning, Ruby woke up pretty early. She sighed and tugged on her boots, before heading downstairs. She figured she could eat some oatmeal (if she didn’t burn it) and practice with Crescent Rose before the inevitable lesson with Oscar.

When she headed downstairs, she was unable to take in the sight in front of her. Wherever she looked, there was a white sticker attached. On the tables, the chairs, the ceiling, the light. Everything had a sticker.

Ruby, in awe, shuffled over to the chair and looked at the sticker. On it, was written “a cadeira”. Below it, “A cadeira é marrom”. She assumed cadeira meant chair. She knew é meant “is”. So marrom....

“A cadeira é marrom. The chair is brown,” Oscar��s voice came from behind her. Ruby turned around, to see Oscar holding a bin of white stickers. He had his dopey smile on his face. “Bom dia!”

“Uh, that means good morning, right?” Oscar nodded. “Yep!”

“Bom dia, then. Oscar, did you do all of this?” she asked incredously. The farmhand nodded. “I spent some of my night doing it. I wanted to surprise you. I...I know how much you wanted to learn Portuguese, and I appreciate it so much. I know it’s hard to learn a new language, so I thought it would make it easier be showing you, instead of just telling you.”

Ruby’s face was blank for a moment and Oscar was scared she was upset. He had worked really hard to make this work. He wanted to see Ruby smile, and he wanted to help her achieve this goal.

Then, her face split into a smile, and she rushed to embrace him. “Thank you,” she murmured in his ear. Oscar’s face grew warm. He had also stickered his room to help her know the bedroom too. He hoped everyone else would be okay with everything being covered for a moment.

“But you know Oscar, Qrow’s gonna have a fit when he sees this. Weiss too.”

“Weiss likes me.” Oscar couldn’t say the same for Qrow. “You think I’ll be okay?”

“We’ll find out later, I guess,” Ruby shrugged. “Onward to the lesson!”

Well, as Oscar found out later, Qrow was furious. He had to dodge um livro e uma caneta being thrown at him.

————————————————————————-

Months later, and Ruby was doing excellently. Oscar would record things for him and sing her little songs to help her remember things.

“To say you love someone, you say ‘eu te amo. Eu te amo. Eu te amo. When I say I love you, I mean ‘eu te amo. Eu te amo,” the girl sang to herself, while firing her weapon at a target.

“Hm, seems that someone is getting a little fond of a language,” Yang grinned. “I’ve heard you say “I love you” to Oscar more than you ever have to me. I’m wounded, Rubes, truly wounded.”

Ruby’s eyes widened. “Shut up, Yang!” She fired Crescent Rose at her sister, who easily dodged it. Oscar was sparring with Jaune, and he could’ve heard what she said. She glanced over to him and said, ‘Mantenha o bom trabalho!’” (keep up the good work!).

Oscar nodded back in approval, before striking Jaune in the knee. Team JNPR’s leader fell back but returned, parrying the farmhand’s next attack. Jaune was getting much better, Ruby was proud.

She had finished her trainings and went inside to get water when she found a note that was written completely in Portuguese on her sleeping mat. She translated some of it, and got the basic idea. Oscar wanted her to meet him in the living room for a “final test. She giggled at it. Over the weeks, Oscar had started treating his teaching like real school. He probably got it from Ozpin, and he would scold Ruby teasingly if she was late to lessons. A final test seemed okay. She wasn’t so good with writing, and her pronunciation was a little bad somemtiems. But she had to admit that she couldn’t believe she had made it so far in a matter of months. She’d have to thank Oscar sometime.

———————————————————————-

Around 10 pm, Oscar sat on the sofa, waiting for Ruby. He had to admit, the first time he had offered to teach Ruby Portuguese, it was just to spend more time with her. He thought he did a pretty good job of concealing his feelings. But over time, he realized it just made him happy to see Ruby happy. She was doing something new that she started to enjoy, and he was simply glad to be a part of that.

Ruby walked in moments later, no hood and no boots and took a seat next to him. “I’m going to ace this test, by the way.”

Oscar laughed. “I sure hope so. It only has one question.”

“Aw, yes!” she exclaimed. “What is it?”

“Technically it’s not a question. But do you think you could sing the lullaby I sang to you a few months ago?”

Ruby’s eyes widened. She had only heard Oscar sing it a few times and always skipped it on the recordings because it made her want to cry.

“I don’t remember it all,” she admitted, disappointed.

“Don’t worry, I’ll sing it with you.” Oscar gave a supportive smile and started to sing.

A linda rosa juvenil

juvenil, juvenil

a linda Rosa juvenil

juvenil

Ruby started to smile and started to sing along.

A linda rosa juvenil

juvenil, juvenil

a linda Rosa juvenil

juvenil

She glanced at Oscar, and grabbed his hands. “Come on, get your dance on.”

“Yang said you hated dancing,” Oscar laughed, standing up. Despite how he behaved, he was very very nervous. He realized how close he was to her, and he felt the air becoming quite warm then. Ruby shrugged. She took his hands and swung him around, as they sang the song at the top of their lungs.

Vamos fazer a roda assim,

bem assim, bem assim

vamos fazer a roda assim,

bem assim.

“Shut up!” a grumpy voice, most likely Qrow’s came from upstairs. Ruby giggled and lowered he voice, before starting it again.

“This song is about a rose, right?” she asked.

He nodded. It wasn’t a typical lullaby that told children to go sleep, but it helped him as a child.

“Hey Oscar?” Ruby murmured, after twirling him around.

“Yes?”

“Obrigado.” Her voice was warm and sincere and they continued to dance and sing—until her uncle came downstairs, yelled at the sight of the two dancing, and dragged Oscar back to their room.

#soooo this was longer than expected #i hope you enjoyed #ill try to make this shorter cause it reached 100 blocks #rosegarden #rwby #ruby rose #oscar pine #roscar #rosepine #porteguese #is this an au?#sorry for any translation errors #i shouldve done spanish cause i know a bit #i know 0 porteguese so if its wrong forgive me #yay i loved this #please request some more

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