#remember to find joy in the little things
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
GHOSTS OF THE PAST (Batfam x neglected hero reader)
II𓂃› POISON
Warning: Negligence (unintentional), Damian being Damian, violence, swearing, sensitive topics,bad things, spelling mistakes (English is not my first language) and reader has black hair and blue eyes (sorry), Fem reader!, use of (M/n) for his mother's name, I accept criticism but please don't be rude, everything is fictional!
Two weeks.It had been two weeks since you disappeared, two weeks in which Bruce did and still does everything he can to find you (as the millionaire Bruce Wayne or as Batman), two weeks in which he and possibly no one in the mansion slept properly, two weeks in which guilt gnawed at him in the worst possible way. But even so, Bruce is ashamed to say that in these two weeks he has only been going to his room now.
Could you blame him? Bruce didn't want to go to his room because that would be a way of saying that you died. He refuses to think that way, you are alive, he is sure of it, and he will find you.
However, Bruce's thesis was shattered by his anxiety.
That's why he goes to your room for the first time.
Bruce remembers going there only once, you must have been seven years old, what saddens him the most is that he only went there because there was a problem with the ceiling and that's why you had to change rooms. Your room was on the second floor, a little further away from the others, possibly the room closest to yours was Tim's.
Alfred had to show him where his room was, which made Bruce feel even worse. He didn't know where his own room was! Was he so negligent to that point?
Your room was at the end of the hallway, the only thing that identified it was a guitar sticker on the door, it was faded and dented, possibly having been there for years, wood splinters were visible on the door and the metals on it were very rusty.
Grabbing the doorknob, Bruce hesitated to open it, the logical part of his brain warning that you might feel uncomfortable with him invading your room like that, but his desire spoke louder, gathering courage Bruce opened the door slowly and faced the environment. He was greeted with a sweet smell that reminded him of artificial strawberries, coming from the entire room and Bruce thought that maybe this was the smell you had passed many times.
The first thing he noticed was the appearance of your room, it was smaller than most of the rooms in the mansion. Your bed was next to the window, giving you a view of the mansion's garden, next to the small bed was a nearly empty study table, on it papers and colored pencils were in the corner organized so as not to have a mess, a small swivel chair was there, there were tears and poorly washed stains, but it seemed like you used it a lot. Above the table on the wall were posters of bands and other things, but what caught Bruce's attention was not that, no, it wasn't.
There were trophies, certificates and awards on top of his shelves.
There were so many, so many, that Bruce thought it was his mind playing tricks on him, but it soon proved to be true when he approached the said shelves. There were trophies for gymnastics, literature, computing, swimming, there were awards for drawing, music, and even jiu-jitsu.
Each one was accompanied by a photo of you, photos that were supposed to be taken with your family but most of them were with your instructors, it was possible to see that with each photo that there was your face changed from false joy to not even bothering to smile.
The sight of you in the photos made Bruce's heart break, the worst one of all was one that looked like you were from gymnastics, but in this one you were really exhausted. Sweat was all over your forehead, making your hair stick to it, your eyes were a little red and there was a bruise on your arm, you tried to smile but it was noticeable that the smile was fake and to top it off, to break Bruce's heart? You were holding back tears, tears shining in the corners of your eyes so intensely, but you held it tight, so as not to cry in front of the camera.
Bruce felt horrible, really awful in fact.
He carefully picked up the photo and sat down on the chair, watching you. You must have been eight or nine years old? He didn't know, but you looked so young, so helpless, but you already looked so... broken. As if you knew the weight of the world, the weight that life brought.
He straightened up in the chair and looked at the room again, seeing the back of his room where the wardrobe was. Bruce noticed that next to the large piece of furniture there was a box, almost as worn as the sticker on the door, he got up from the chair leaving the photo on the table next to him, walking over to the box and picking it up with ease. Preferring to sit on the bed instead of the chair he opened the cardboard box to find a computer and a pen drive.
Bruce, so immersed in his thoughts, barely noticed that while he was turning on the old device, someone else was entering the room.
“Bruce?” The aforementioned looked up to see Dick. Looking at his son, he realized how worn out Dick was, whether it was the deep bags under his eyes or the messy hair from so much grabbing and pulling. “What are you doing here?”
“I…” came to see my daughter’s room? Came to try to feel less guilty? Came to try to comfort myself in my pain of not having protected my own daughter? Bruce didn’t know what to answer, fortunately, Dick understood this and decided to see for himself. Carefully, Grayson entered the room and observed with interest, his gaze stopping at the same shelves of trophies that Bruce was interested in, the small smile on Grayson’s face disappeared when he discovered the real reason for the trophies being there.
“W-wait, is that from gymnastics?” Dick looked closer, seeing on the table the same photo Bruce had taken, his anxious eyes roaming the entire shelf, observing his every victory in detail. “Is that all of…(name)?”
“Yeah, and all of hers, all the effort we never saw.” Bruce turned his focus back to the computer, the anguish in his words reminding him of his mistake, while Dick sank in guilt as Bruce himself decided to look at the computer’s contents.
It looked like it hadn't been used for a while, there was dust on the computer and the screen was broken, putting the pen drive in the device a folder appeared on the screen, Bruce clicked and the loading screen appeared on the screen, while it was loading Bruce felt his oldest son sitting next to him, watching the computer next to him and as soon as the loading was finished the two men came across photos.
Very, very old photos of you.
Photos of you as a baby at various points in your childhood outside the mansion, there was a photo of you walking while smiling at the camera, a photo of you sleeping on the couch drooling all over it, a photo of you drinking while wrapped in a blanket like a burrito, and many others.
Bruce heard Dick sigh when he saw you, he had to hold himself back from melting right there, you looked so cute with your chubby cheeks and bright eyes. He wished he could be there at that moment, seeing you so cute, taking care of you, being the father he never was.
But time has passed, you've grown up and are gone now.
Bruce shook off his thoughts when he saw a different photo, in it you had the corners of your mouth covered in what he assumed was chocolate, your hands were covered in the same candy, but what caught Bruce's attention wasn't that, but the woman behind you holding you while laughing at your lameness.
your mother
(M/n) (Last name)
He remembers the woman, kind and caring, a writer from outside Gotham, and although it is strange that she preferred Gotham to live in (with so many other cities more protected than it is), she reached her peak of fame, which made them meet. Just one night with her, nothing more, an affair that didn't go ahead and in which he thought he would forget about her, only for a year later she sends him a letter, talking about you, his daughter.
She didn't ask for anything, not even alimony for herself, she just asked him not to interfere in her daughter's life, although Bruce found the request strange he accepted, being too busy with work to care, he didn't give it due importance at the time.
That was until (M/n) died, her sudden death made him bring you to his house, he fought for custody of you with your aunt, but since he was the one best able to raise you, your custody was given to him.
That was many years ago, he doesn't remember you bringing this computer.
Oh.
Do you keep the computer to remember your mother?
The articles were old, wouldn't it be better to transfer the photos to your cell phone? Or didn't you want to? Maybe you would prefer to keep the computer to remember your memories.
Dick shifted beside him, looking again at the immense trophies on his shelf. “We had her here, and we just ignored her.”
“Dick—”
“We had a diamond in the rough, shining brightly for us, and we just ignored it, and now that she’s gone…” Bruce said nothing, there was nothing to say.
Dick was right.
They had lost a precious stone.
And there was no way to get her back.
Three months.
Nothing about you, no clues, no trails, nothing made it even more difficult because the bus you were on was burned, even if it was left there were no fingerprints, DNA or anything else that would lead them to you.
Dick had to go back to Blüdhaven, continuing his own investigation there. Bruce, knowing that he couldn't do it alone (not this time), put his pride aside and warned the members of the league about your disappearance.
Clark, in an effort to find you, published an article in the Daily Planet about your disappearance, but not even that helped in his search.
The members of the League were alert in each of their cities, looking for clues about you, but nothing came to them, not the organization that kidnapped you or your possible whereabouts.
It was as if you had disappeared from the earth.
Six months.
The police were getting sloppy, probably already giving up on the case. Bruce was still investigating, but how was he going to get deeper into the case if the clues that led to you had disappeared into the wind like dust on the ground?
All he had were your desperate calls for help, your messages, but they led nowhere, your device destroyed without its location.
The family had become more depressed, as if something was missing for everyone present, the immense loneliness in the mansion showing who was missing.
You.
One year.
The case was closed, with nothing to investigate, the Gotham police had more problems to deal with than a missing and possibly dead teenager.
There was… nothing.
Nothing to say, nothing to do, nothing to look for.You were gone.
A long time ago.
What they didn't know was that you weren't gone, but you were there.
“Alright, alright, I think we’re done for today, right?”
The iron-tasting liquid once again rose up in her bile, making the blood in her throat gush out of her mouth, choking her.
The room they were in, previously white, was now stained crimson, clinging deep into the walls as it reflected the light from the lamp.
In the corner of the room stood you, chained up like a beast (which technically wasn’t a lie now). You lay still as the toxic green liquid entered your veins, the acidity still biting your skin.
Doctor Magnus was the one in front of you, the man with long black hair and golden eyes was watching you dangerously, the loving attitude that many could see as a father educating his son was nothing more than a facade of sadistic malice from the man.
He disgusted you.
They all did.
All of them, all of them, all of them, ALL OF THEM-
Magnus watched as the syringe that connected the tube in your neck finished injecting the toxin into your veins, with the process finished, Magnus approached you and pulled it from your neck.
With the brutality with which he pulled the syringe, you hissed in pain, your abnormally large fangs showing themselves to the doctor, the protective instinct emerging in your brain. Despite the offense, Magnus just smiled at you.
Stepping away from you, he lowered your restraints making you feel a little comfortable. With his fingerprint, the doctor opened the automatic door, before leaving he stopped at the door and looked over his shoulder, his gaze meeting yours.
“Get plenty of rest (Name)…” the man’s smirk widened, the evil coursing through him making her stomach churn with fear.
"Tomorrow your experiments will intensify.”
Okay, I'm a little disappointed (I was hoping to write one more, but I couldn't add anything without it affecting the next chapter), well I'll make up for it in the next chapter.
Here's the tag list \(•◡•)/:
@daiyanomochi - @amber-content - @wizzerreblogs - @foggyv-oid - @kore-of-the-underworld - @theunknowntravel3r - @space1crow - @shortnsweetsposts - @popursocks - @sugasweettea - @salfishers - @itachisank - @jsprien213 - @infirebaby - @yhin-gg -@h-ib
@bunbunboysworld - @h-ib - @sheep-from-rad - @tatsuri-zomushiki - @the-holy-pigeon - @geminis93
sorry for any mistakes.
Bye
#batfam x reader#batfamily x reader#dc x reader#alfred pennyworth#batfam#batfamily#bruce wayne#damian wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#clark kent#batfam x neglected reader#batfam x batsis#batfam x you#Spidermanreader#Dick grayson#dc comics x reader
147 notes
·
View notes
Text
━━ to walk amongst the living .
Jade's last words continue to haunt Sunday as he is cast from the heaven of Penacony and goes from a Family Head to a mere traveler. On his journey to fully understand the struggles of mortals, he ends up becoming companions with you, a fellow wanderer.
sunday x gn!reader
contains: post 2.3, written before 2.7, sunday is hinted to have asthma, sunday is trying his best but bro hasn't touched grass in years so he's struggling, hardcore yearning from sunday
word count: 3.1k
a/n: SUNDAY TRAVEL SUNDAY TRAVEL SUNDAY TRAVEL SUNDAY TRAVEL BARKSI RIYGHGUGHU if hyv doesnt give us any crumbs on what he was doing before he runs into us again. EXPLODES
taglist: @sh0jun , @themoderatelyawesomeninja , @xphantasmagoriax , @rainswept , @lucensei , @akutasoda , @naraven , @scribs-dibs , @apathicace , @flurrina , @tragedy-of-commons , @cakechase , @kiiyoooo , @moineauz
“Achoo!“
The cold was starting to get annoying.
Sunday sighed, biting back his frustration as he wiped his nose with a handkerchief and tugged his scarf to better shield his face. It was a good thing he’d decided to bundle up before leaving Penacony; otherwise, he would’ve already died of pneumonia.
The Planet of Dreams and Festivities was the very definition of a paradise. Everything, from the colors, the sounds, and the temperature was carefully maintained to never be too much or too little.
Sunday did not have such privileges here.
He didn’t remember when the last time he saw snow was. Back home, the closest he’d seen to a natural landscape was the Moment of Oasis, where tourists lounged about on the spectacular beaches - and even then, Sunday hadn’t exactly had time to indulge in such luxuries.
His nose was no doubt red from the cold, and his thighs burned from the long hike he’d decided to torture himself with. Wind battered his hood against his face, occasionally blocking his vision or smacking him. Sunday’s wings instinctively shielded him from the incoming snow that somehow made its way past his hood. He grimaced at the feeling of the ice catching and melting on his feathers, already dreading having to clean them out.
Upon reaching a somewhat flat piece of terrain, he gave himself mercy and allowed himself to stop for a break. His halo, his main weapon against frostbite, glowed gently with a heat not unlike a fireplace as he surveyed just how far he’d traveled.
Mountains upon mountains greeted his gaze, all jagged and covered with the same multi-colored snow that was the staple of this planet. He stood among fallen aurora, and down below, he spied a cluster of bright, warm lights that stood apart from the greens, blues, and purples of the snow: the cities, where he’d first arrived here.
Zastrugi was a planet infamous for its harsh conditions, rivaled only by the recently reintroduced Jarilo-VI. Even so, the people here prided themselves on their resilience, and gladly welcomed those seeking a challenge or a death-defying thrill.
In other words, it was a cemetery of the arrogant and the ambitious, and a perfect fit for Sunday’s current goals. After all, what better way to live a mortal’s life than to endure their struggles?
Sunday looked down at himself. His legs were weak, shaking and trembling from the hike, and no doubt were only kept standing due to adrenaline. His chest burned from haggard breaths, cut again and again from each frosty inhale. His head felt light. He wanted to die.
If this wasn’t suffering, he didn’t know what was.
It was invigorating.
Never before had he felt more alive, with the frost biting at his cheeks and the pain that ransacked his body. He could hear his heart beating in his ears, fighting yet strong and resilient and surviving. A soft smile graced his pale lips as his breath fogged in the air.
How strange, he mused. To find such joy in his own suffering… Was he always this twisted?
“I was wondering when you’d catch up.”
Sunday turned to see you sitting on a rock nearby, snow brushed off of stone so that you could sit without wetting your pants. One of your legs is propped up as you look out at the view, your bored expression proof enough that you’d been sitting there for a while.
You were a fellow traveler he’d met sometime on his travels. Sunday still groaned whenever he remembered your first encounter; he’d gotten swept up in a sudden storm and remembered too late that 1.) he didn’t know how to swim and 2.) his wings were not waterproof. Had you not dove into the raging tide and pulled him out, he would’ve drowned for sure.
Ever since then, you’d accompanied him on his travels - or, rather, he accompanied you on yours. Sunday, with what little he knew of the world outside of Penacony, knew not what his destination was, nor where he should head off to. Your goal was a little more simple - you wanted to see all that was beautiful in the universe.
Even if that meant climbing to the tops of unreasonably steep mountains or camping out in unbearingly hot deserts.
Thankfully, you weren’t opposed to his offer (begging) to join you - on the contrary, you were thankful that he had been the one to say it because in your words, you didn’t know if he would survive if you left him alone by his lonesome.
He still didn’t know what to make of that. For his own pride, he chose to ignore it for the time being.
“Were you waiting long?” he asked, gloved fingers holding the edge of his hood as to keep both it and the snow out of his face. You shook your head, your own hooded cloak flapping in the wind as you looked back out at the view.
“Not as long as I might’ve in the past,” you joked lightly. Sunday breathed a laugh.
Back when he’d first walked alongside you, he’d fought a long and hard battle with his own stamina. It was embarrassing when he thought back on it, how many times he’d have to ask you to stop for a break or even had to be carried by you to the nearest rest stop. Sometimes he wondered why you kept him around, but of course, he never asked.
But he’d grown stronger and more resilient since then, at least, he hoped he did - if not for you, then for his pride.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Your voice was rather wistful as you spoke, a little breathless and hushed, yet clear in the crisp, scarce air. “What do you think? Was it worth it?”
“I’m not so sure,” Sunday tried for a joke of his own - although, he wasn’t all joking. No matter how much he traveled, he could never get used to the feeling of his own breath scraping against his lungs as he heaved for air.
You, intuitive as ever, sighed knowingly. “Sit down. You look as if you’re going to pass out.”
Brushing aside some snow on the rock, you shifted over to make room for him. Gratefully, Sunday fought demons in order to stop his trembling legs from collapsing in from under him as he lowered himself onto the rock. That would’ve been mortifying.
His breath fogged in the air as he sighed, thankful for some rest. Around him, the snowfall was gentle and slow, and as the moonlight from Zastrugi’s two moons caught on each individual flake, ribbons of light came and passed like wisps of smoke.
An echoing click of metal caught his attention. He looked to his side and was greeted with a cloud of steam warming his face. In your hand was a small metal thermos that held what he assumed is either tea or hot water. You gestured for him to take it.
“Drink; you need to warm up before we continue. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if you died of hypothermia.”
Sunday breathed his gratitude as he took the thermos. Your fingers brushed slightly, but with the cold, he registered it only after it was gone, and by then it was too late to respond. Still, his heart skipped regardless, and he turned away before he dwaddled too long, thankful for the cold that had already reddened his cheeks.
He blew gently on the liquid within, and took small, carefuly sips as to not burn his tongue (it’d happened before, and it was humiliating). He was delightfully surprised with the subtle floral tastes of white tea, his favorite. It was obvious that it had been sweetened, and the honey added was just enough so that it satisfied his cravings.
But, as Sunday drank away, the tea warming him from the inside, he never told you he liked white tea specifically, nor did he ever tell you how much sugar he preferred. How did you know?
Had you, every time you’d taken him to a local cafe or restaurant, watched and observed? Had you remembered, from the few times you’d seen him order or make a drink for himself?
His hold on the thermos faltered as fire rushed to his cheeks. In his chest, under all those layers of cloth and cloaks, a dance unfolded, his heart tip-tapping away, a steady rhythm that was both nerve-wrecking and comforting.
Sunday inhaled deeply, wings fluttering ever-so slightly, and pushed his thoughts away to focus on the tea, nearly burning his tongue in the process. You only raised a brow before returning your sight to the distant city. A comfortable silence enveloped the two of you.
As Sunday gazed down upon the scene, a sharp ache in his sides and a stiffness in his legs, he wondered - was this how Robin felt, when she performed from that grand stage of hers. Sure, the aurora couldn’t compare to the lightshow that accompanied his sister’s concerts, but still - there must be some similarities. Here, at the top of this world, he felt light, as if nothing could ever touch him.
“O chosen one, who dared to exceed his bounds. Sever your wings, descend to the mortal realm, and walk their lands. See what this world is truly like.”
Lady Bonajade’s words rang in his head. Instantly a scowl twisted his features.
He’d never liked the IPC, and he wasn’t going to start now - especially not with a snake like her. He could still hear her taunting voice, that indifferent condescention presented as good-natured pity dampening his mood. There wasn’t much that could truly anger him, but it only seemed natural that it was yet another IPC Stoneheart that managed the feat.
But still, she had been right… much to his chagrin. As much as he hated to admit it, he had flown too high from the people he wished to protect. Even the Astral Express - whom he respected far more than Jade - had made it clear: Know your people before you decide what was right for them.
“What’s on your mind?”
Sunday flinched. You peered at him from behind your hood, face gentle yet your brows were furrowed ever so slightly.
“Ah, I apologize.” He lowered the thermos to his lap. “I was… thinking.”
“I know,” you replied. Shifting slightly so that you could lean back on your hands, you stretched your legs out into the snow. “You do that a lot.”
With a kick, you sent the snow flying into an arch off the cliffside, creating another ripple in the aurora.
“Thinking too much in a place like this… seems like a waste, doesn’t it? Try and take a break from your brain, and just- see. Look at where you are.”
Sunday raised an abdominal wing to block the multi-colored snow from falling into his thermos. Shaking the snow off the twilight feathers, he sighed, staring into what remains of the tea.
You clicked your tongue. Snow crunched, and cloth shuffled, before the cap of the thermos blocked his view. Screwing it closed, you took the thermos from him, a twinge of annoyance tugging at Sunday as he mourned the last bits of tea still left in there.
Before Sunday could complain, however, you beat him to it.
“Don’t give me that look,” you teased lightly. “We’re almost to the top - you can finish your tea there.”
The beginnings of a pout tugged his lip, but with a reluctant sigh, Sunday abided. Pushing off of his knees, he brushed himself off.
“Very well,” he relented, but not without fixing you with a flat stare first. If you saw it, you didn’t say anything, for you had already begun your trek to the mountain’s peak.
The higher you climbed, the harsher the snow became. No matter how beautiful something was, Sunday found that he didn’t care if it was pelting him in the face with as much punch as a bullet. His hood became his shield, and he hurried to keep in pace with you.
Because unlike him, who specialized in Imaginary and Quantum manipulation, you were a master of fire. Your footprints lasted longer than his for the mere fact that you seemed to melt through the snow, and as long as Sunday kept close to you, he wouldn’t be at risk into becoming a popsicle.
But that was easier said than done. Again, you were far more traveled than he was, and as such you moved at a much faster pace despite the melting snow’s attempts at slowing you down. Sunday was already dreading the next morning - he’d have to do a full-body stretch for at least half an hour after this was all done if he wanted his legs to be functionable tomorrow.
Every now and then, you would glance back at him, as if making sure he hadn’t been swept up in an avalanche - which, if it weren’t unfortunately a valid concern, would’ve damaged his already ruined ego. And each time, Sunday would meet your gaze, and offer the tiniest of smiles before returning to his suffering.
By the time you had reached the summit, Sunday was well about to pass out. The air was thinner up here, making it hard to breathe, and his exhaustion did not make things easier. But he had done it, and surprisingly, he had kept in pace with you.
He breathed as much as he could, swallowing what little oxygen he could grasp from the top of the world. A wheeze or two ripped through his lungs. Wordlessly, you pressed his inhaler into his hand, a pat on his back to congratulate him. Sunday nodded his thanks.
Once his medication had done its magic and he no longer had to focus on the struggles of breathing properly, he realized that the world had gone silent. Snow no longer pelted at his face, and the aurora had gone dark.
And then he swept his gaze, and saw the clouds below him. Somehow, without noticing, he’d passed through them, and entered an entirely different plane of Zastrugi. Here, there was nothing but sky, and the stars - real, actual stars, not the false ones created by the snow, danced in nebulae above him.
And there was you, your cloak flapping in the wind as you gazed up at the cosmos. With so little light, he could only see your silhouette, but he has the impression that your back is turned towards him.
You are silent, as you always are when you see new sights. In moments like these, it was as if your breath had been stolen, and it is all you could do to absorb the picturesque scene before you, engraving it into your mind to store for all eternity.
Once, Sunday had expected you to take photos of your journeys, as a memento. But you never did. No, rather, you would stand there, memorizing every little detail, and then return to your temporary home to paint it instead.
And he swore, those paintings were almost always more magnificent than the places they were based on.
Sunday took one last look towards the everlasting cosmos before coming up to your side. Rather than the sky, the image he drank in was you. Your expression was soft, yet awe-struck, much like a child seeing the world for the first time. There was always a sort of melancholy in your eyes, but also a love for everything that he could drown in if you allowed him to.
You loved the world, and it was that love that he adored.
You turned to him, noticing his gaze, and for a moment, it was if time itself had stopped. His breath caught in his throat, and words died on his tongue. All he could do was look into your star-speckled gaze, all the colors of the universe casting their light onto the two of you.
What expression was he wearing, he wondered? A smile, or perhaps… something else?
But then you raised your hand, brushing it against his cheek ever so slightly, and all of those thoughts disappeared.
A smile wove onto your lips. “You had some snow left on you.”
Sunday tried not to miss your hand as it left him. His fingers trace what you had left, his gaze becoming lidded.
“Ah,” he breathed.
The corner of yours eyes crinkle, and you turned to the cliffside. Leaning over slightly, you peered over the edge, the clouds obscuring the true height of the fall. Sunday blinked.
“What are you planning…” he sighed, crossing his arms. You chuckled, turning slightly to meet his eyes.
“One way or another, we have to get down,” you pointed out. Sunday’s expression fell flat.
“Don’t even think about it.”
Your feet toed the edge, sending rocks and snow tumbling down. “You said you wanted to experience life as a mortal to the fullest, didn’t you?”
“I wasn’t aware that included throwing oneself off a mountain.”
You shook your head, a grin surfacing. “You’re no fun, Sunday. Don’t you have those wings of yours? What do you have to worry about?”
Sunday’s answer was immediate. “You.”
“How sweet of you,” you commented as he came to besides you. “Well, then, you’ll just have to catch me, won’t you?”
Sunday squeezed his eyes shut, pinching the bridge of his nose. “[Name], I swear upon all that is good in this world-”
He opened his eyes. You were already gone.
Sunday swore.
Midnight unfolded behind his back, clashing with his white cloak. Without so much as a second thought, he dove into the clouds headfirst, shooting through the sky like a meteor as he searched for you.
The second the fog of the clouds leave, however, he was thrust into a world of color. He fell alongside the snow, and unlike when he was on the mountain itself, he became a part of the aurora. The colors nearly blinded him, if not for the fact that he had his sights set on one thing - your falling figure, so close yet so far.
He tucked his wings as to fall faster. The second he reached you, he grabbed you, arms locking around your waist and pulling you into him, where it was safe.
“You’re a fool,” he scolded as your chest met his. You laughed, throwing your head back to return to the aurora.
“And yet, you saved me all the less.”
Sunday rolled his eyes as your legs wrapped around his waist. His wings returned to their full wingspan, catching the wind and ensuring that your fall didn’t end in a tragedy. He swerved and turned and glided, dodging peaks and keeping his sights on the city.
And all the same, you laughed, nothing short of pure glee in your voice.
And he sighed, fondness squeezing him regardless.
Yes, you were a fool.
But you were a fool he couldn’t help but love.
reblogs w comments are appreciated !!
#—stellaronhvnters.#honkai star rail#hsr#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#hsr sunday#sunday x reader#hsr sunday x reader#honkai star rail sunday#honkai star rail sunday x reader#sunday hsr x reader#sunday#x reader#reader insert#y/n#archives 🏵️
131 notes
·
View notes
Note
Oh yeah the big pickups to work in an office job infuriate me to no end. A whole parking lot full of death machines that have never known the touch of a gravel road or hauled anything larger than a big Costco run. I have a nice lil electric hatchback tho.
the thing is, i always wanted a car. my parents took me on a lot of road trips when i was growing up (i remember a couple years before he died, my dad told me he was very proud to have shown me so much of the country when he himself had grown up poor and could only travel as far as the next job took him), so of course i have in me that quintessential American longing for The Road. in high school, i fantasized about getting into a car and disappearing into traffic, traveling to some distant corner where nobody lived and finding a situation to occupy. god help me, as a teen i bemoaned being born too late and longed for the naive vision of the 60s i'd received from my parents and pop culture and the rusted-over kitsch that dotted the remains of Route 66 (which my dad loved to talk about).
i hate car culture in part because i used to love car culture. it's a microcosm of indoctrinated American patriotism in general. they sell you on the dream, right? the freedom of travel, of expression. i wanted to be the millennial Jack Kerouac, whose work i did not actually read because i was young and dumb and drowning in dysphoria. but as i got older i saw how quickly little bumps and scratches can turn into massive financial burdens, to say nothing of cracked windshields or flat tires. then my mom died and i was given the responsibility of handling her car, a silver scion xb. i was 19, i did not have a license and had next to zero experience driving, nor had i ever had a job before. when i say "given the responsibility to handle her car" instead of "given her car," i mean that i didn't just get her car. like, i had it, i had the keys and no one was around to tell me not to drive it. but in order to get the title signed over to me, i had to go through an insane bureaucratic process of proving that my mom was dead, and that i was her kid, and that i should have the title to the car. this took months of back and forth miscommunication as dated notices were sent and bills piled up. because it wasn't just the car i got, but the debt as well. some $30,000 of it left unpaid by mom, which i was now expected to pay in her stead. my first job was working night shifts at a wal mart stocking the frozen food department, and that was the job where i rode my bike on the highway to get to work. i didn't drive because i didn't have a license, didn't have experience, was terrified of highway drivers, and knew very distinctly that if anything went wrong i'd instantly be in so much more debt (monetary and bureaucratic) than i already was. eventually my sister, a career nurse with three kids and a house, took over the car from me.
nobody understood why i didn't drive that car more. even my mom, when she was still alive, she said "when i was your age, i was dying to get out of the house." i was too! but for all that cars culturally represented freedom, in practice what they came to represent to me was the expected cost of participating in society. i was already sensitive to adults sneering at me for my perceived immaturity (the joys of being a millennial), which only compounded on learning that i didn't have a car or license, that i wasn't proactively joining Clubs or Organizations, that i wanted to pursue the arts of all things, that i wasn't Christian, etc etc etc. i never got out to see live music because i didn't have a car and didn't have money. i didn't get my first smart phone until late 2015. i spent a lot of my college years feeling alienated because i was at least two years older than everyone else (i already didn't want to go to college straight out of high school even before my mom died), still used a flip phone, and didn't have a car. which is to say i was a working class person trying to get by in a middle class institution. and i only got in because i was very good at peddling my sob story for sympathy points. FAFSA loves to finance the odd tragedy, i'm telling you (don't worry, i still had to take on a ton of student loan debt). when i expressed to family that i didn't want a car because i didn't feel safe as a driver, and felt that i shouldn't need to have a car in order to participate in society, they said "everyone feels that way at first, but you just have to get over it. or move to a big city. good luck affording that!" as a related aside, when i told those same people that i liked being in college for the pursuit of knowledge and wanted to graduate towards being a sort of generalist, they flatly insisted that that's not how college works anymore, and that i should instead put my energies towards a Useful Degree that would Get Me A Good Job.
of course they were sympathetic, at least on the surface. they told me these things in a kind tone, the way adults always do when what they're saying boils down to "it's not fair, but life ain't fair." and i've just never been able to accept that. before i knew anything about socialism or communism or materialist dialectics, when i was still very much under the thrall of post-Clinton liberalism, i still felt this deep-rooted conviction that when people said "life isn't fair," they were giving up something. that it was an excuse, an appeal to a higher power, a resignation to the status quo. my experience with cars, by the time i hit 25, was that you bought them for the freedom they promised, and then spent of your life driving that car between one of maybe five locations on the regular and doing very little else. the only time i ever felt free in a car was on a road trip, which happened with vanishing irregularity as all the associated costs skyrocketed in the 2000s. all the other time was spent driving in circles looking for parking, only to balk at how expensive it was. spent stuck in traffic for hours, amid concrete dunes of overpasses tangled with one another like a four-year-old's first try at tying their own shoes. spent angrily judging the poor driving conduct of other people, spent resenting anyone and everyone who inconvenienced their drive, spent rubbernecking at horrific accidents on the side of the road, spent worrying about car payments and insurance payments and how much it's gonna cost to get a tune-up, and then someone breaks in and steals all your stuff and your insurance doesn't want to pay for it, and then you get into an accident and you spend months haggling with your insurance and their insurance in the hopes that someone will maybe pay for the debt you've had to take on in getting your car repaired, because of course professional life doesn't take a break just because your mode of transportation got totaled.
and if i was applying for a job and the employer found out i didn't have a car, i was denied on the spot. i learned very quickly to lie about such things as often as possible. but i also learned that i could only bluff for so long before the lack of a car became a genuinely insurmountable hurdle. which fucked me up tremendously because at no point in my adult life, to this day, can i ever imagine being able to afford all the associated costs of having a car. in many respects, not having a car was the only reason i was able to survive the way i did. it meant i could work part-time while i was in school (with student loans making up the shortfall), share an apartment with two or three or four other people, and just barely have enough to eat the bare minimum and go see a movie sometimes. of course i wanted the freedom all my car-owning friends had, but mostly i wanted it so i could drive out into the middle of nowhere at night and be truly alone. i wanted a car so that i could escape from the frictional sandpaper bureaucracy of american existence... and i knew from experience by then that that's simply not how the world works.
it took me until 2020 to finally move to seattle, one of those mythical Big Cities with Actually Existing Public Transit. and holy shit, it's a revelation! i have better access the place where i live now than i ever have, and it's a freedom that costs SO MUCH LESS than the same would've cost me back home. but i've also lived here long enough now to see all the ways in which our transit system here is deeply flawed and run by the wrong people. i see many of the same forces at play here as i did back home. i see now how car owners and allies to the car dealership fiefdoms of the nation utilize car ownership and road maintenance as a tremendous lever of power. they've deliberately trapped us in this cycle of poverty and personal transportation reliance, and used the money they got from us buying their cars to then buy politicians so that they defund public transit and oppose any urbanist reforms. did you know that much of america used to be covered by street cars and rail lines? if you live in the midwest or on the west coast, your town very likely only exists the way it does because of mass public transit. they were necessary for bringing people into these remote places to create new markets for wealth extraction. once the population in those places was stable, and mass-produced personal vehicles became the norm, the capitalists of those areas deliberately allowed the transit networks to "go bankrupt" (ie they pretended transit is a business and not a utility that pretty much by definition can't turn a profit in a traditional manner) so they could be bought up and liquidated by future car dealers. this is what i think of when i remember my family telling me "that's just not the way the world works."
why? it used to be the way the world worked. why can't it be again? if the current status quo is the result of choices that created economic pressures which shaped the nature of society, why can't we do the same thing again but different? the way things are now is sick. it's unhealthy. the vast majority of microplastics come from car rubber, and what socioeconomic classes do you think are mostly likely to live close to high-traffic roads? it's not rich people, i'll tell you that. it's not the car dealers or the small city councils worried that a bus connection might bring the poors in. when i say "car owners need to be oppressed" i'm talking about these people. suburban supremacist dictators and their sycophantic liege lords whose biggest priorities in life are to keep gas prices low and to maintain their god-given right to never having to see a poor person. i hate these people because i've been sneered at by them my whole life, while they have been personally responsible for many of the same socioeconomic conditions which resulted in the deaths of both my parents, along with many other members of my extended family. i've long since stopped believing in the idea of "death by natural causes." only the rich live long enough to die old. the rest of us die by a thousand cuts borne of neglect. our healthcare is gatekept, our education is gatekept, our transportation is gatekept. freedom is a thing to be bought, and when you don't have money, the next best thing is your blood. you give it up for a piece of something and you convince yourself that it's enough for you. but it is only a piece, and its apportionment is the result of greed and avarice happening in broad daylight all around us. i fully believe that a genuine war will need to be waged against the car barons before this horrendous now can be toppled, and it will be a war because they are aligned with the cops and with capital. this, too, is a microcosm, and in it we see the nature of our struggle for socialism unburdened by neoliberal word salad.
people have made the world this way. and people will make it something else.
#sarahposts#car culture#public transit#capitalism#late stage capitalism#classism#sorry this one got a little personal#you know me
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
Being a pirate was not miserable on this ship, she was the Jolly Roger for a reason. Killian is smirking at the former first mate, his expression was priceless. He was living proof to the contrary to every belief about piracy Izzy had. The young man had proven himself in battle time and again, Hook was one of the greats that would without a doubt be remembered for generations. His crew's morale was always high even when things got tough. Kindness and and positive enforcement went a long way.
Killian continued tapping his cane to the beat and sang along for a bit as he watched everyone have a bit of fun and dancing around. A little joy went a long way, he sure as hell knew Ed's crew needed some lighthearted fun to let them know that the darkness was behind them. He stepped aside when Izzy got up and walked around until the shanty ended. With the crew energized for work he gave his orders and oversaw the work as well as talking with some of Ed's former crew to get to know them for awhile.
It was a bit closer to two hours when Killian went to find where Izzy went off to having got caught up in conversation. When he did his tone much less friendly as when he was around the rest of the crew. "Edward said he wanted to talk to you." He said and gave the other's peg leg a tap with his cane. "Probably about this. Though It might not be much of a conversation with you both fucking sloshed on my personal bottles."
ᒥ🐙ᒧ— "Oh, shit," Her smile falls for a moment as she looks down at her hands. Archie has to make 'L's with her fingers to determine which is left, then with a smile she salutes him again with her left hand. She was more of a fighter than a sailor in truth, but Edward enjoyed her cheer and so he kept her around.
Fang gives Killian a sheepish smile, "Izzy seemed like he needed it more than me..." He had offered it to his former first mate it would seem. "We ate, yes, Cap'n." Fang nods to Killian's question. Archie nodded as well. Izzy only rolled his eyes and went back to his bottle. He'd sow the sail, he wanted a working ship as much as anyone else aboard, but he wouldn't be happy. However, that was life of a pirate ship, wasn't it? You work, you're miserable, and you work some more.
Hook begins a shanty and Izzy stares at him like the song itself offended his ancestors. "What the fuck..." He's gob-smacked, and he's not drunk enough for him to not know it was directed at his drinking. Israel just stares, bottle floating in front of his lips as he's too shocked to even drink.
Archie seems to bounce with excitement, she skips off to find a crewmen of Killian's original crew to dance with. Fang smiles and laughs, not getting up to dance, but gently clapping his hands along. He says the first line loud, "Shave his belly with a rusty razor!" And the line is repeated as a chorus.
Archie, skipping and hopping around arms-linked with another crewmember provides the nest line, "Put him in the bed with the captain's daughter!"
The former first mate can't handle the lunacy, he pushes himself to stand, limping himself away to a different part of the ship that was free of noise.
84 notes
·
View notes
Text
Azula is the family member Zuko cares the least about, by far [and no, it's not because she's mean to him and no, this is not a post about Zuko's morality or anything like that]
So the entire premise of Zuko's arc is he spends years and years trying to regain his father's love and appreciation, that he spent three years trying to capture the Avatar so that his father would like him again. We even see in a flashback that exiled Zuko misses his father badly.
And when Zuko decides to completely break off his relationship with his father, he decides that this merits a dramatic confrontation, since his relationship with Ozai is so important to him. Even after that, the second to last scene of the series is Zuko visiting Ozai.
Zuko often takes Iroh and his support for granted, but even in Books 1 and 2 there are plenty of moments which act to reaffirm how much Zuko values and appreciates his uncle. He goes out of his way to protect his uncle on a couple occasions. And in Book 3, after Zuko has screwed up his relationship with Iroh, one of Zuko's core motivations becomes fixing his relationship with his uncle and regaining Iroh's love, trust, and appreciation.
Ursa is someone who Zuko talks about far less, yet the series makes it very clear how much Zuko misses her, with "Zuko Alone" and "The Earth King" and "The Day of Black Sun: The Eclipse." And the second to last scene in the series is Zuko trying to find her.
That leaves Azula. Zuko never seems to miss Azula the least, even though he hasn't seen her for years when the series begins. In fact, when she unexpectedly shows up and greets him, instead of being happy to see her, he's angry and suspicious (to be fair to Zuko, she did turn out to have ulterior motives due to Ozai's orders, but if he really deeply missed her, he'd probably be at least a little happy to see her regardless. Mai and Ty Lee reacted with joy the first time they saw Azula again). And in Books 2 and 3, there is essentially nothing to suggest that Zuko misses the better relationship he had with Azula when they were younger.
For instance, in "The Beach," Zuko angsts over an old photograph of his family.
His eyes focus on Ozai
and he remembers a happy memory associated with Ozai:
and then Zuko's eyes focus on Ursa
and he remembers a happy memory associated with her
Yet Zuko never looks at younger Azula in that picture, nor does he think of her at all. The "Happy Family" that Zuko misses includes Ozai, Ursa, and even Iroh and Lu Ten (shown in a separate memory sequence at little earlier), but not little Azula.
Ultimately, what we see in the first half of Book 3 is that Zuko is willing to take advantage of Azula's kindness, when she shows it to him, but he never acknowledges it, thanks her for it, or reciprocates in the slightest.
In the end, in the DoBS Zuko leaves Azula behind without a regret or even a thought. Ozai gets a big confrontation; Azula gets nothing. And after that, we see that Zuko misses Mai, and still feels complex feelings for Ozai ("Fatherlord," anyone?), but there's nothing to suggest he misses Azula at all or feels a deep attachment to her. The penultimate scene of the show even features Zuko visiting Ozai, not Azula.
Some people might point out that Azula is a bad sister to Zuko. That's definitely true. She says and does plenty of awful things to him over the series.
Yet that doesn't explain things. Ozai is far, far worse to Zuko than Azula ever is, yet Zuko cares deeply about Ozai to the degree that Zuko's entire arc is about it. Merely talking about "look how mean Azula is" explains almost nothing. Is possible to explain why
This does bring me to my main point. The ATLA fandom tends to believe that Zuko cares about Azula a lot and that he places a lot of value in having a good relationship with her, tends to believe that Zuko is obsessed with Azula.
However, the reality is that Zuko by far cares about Azula the least of any member of his family and that he places almost no value on having a good relationship with her. She is never a priority for him and is at most only an obstacle. All of Zuko's other family members loam far higher in Zuko's priorities and headspace than Azula. And if he is obsessed with her, it's not in a loving way. Maybe "Azula the enemy" and "Azula my advisor and emotional caretaker" are significant to him, but "Azula my sister" never seems to be.
Again, this isn't a moral judgement, merely a fact.
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
And not two minutes after posting that sad lad post, I'm hiding under my bed trying to scare the shit out of my partner because teehee
No but really I'm posting this from under the bed. I am actively in wait as we speak. Like you know that voiceover video of the little spider burying himself in sand? That is me. I am that spider.
#disclaimer this is normal behavior for us#my dogs have joined me everything is fine#they're going to give me away tho#jerks#lp talks#lp is rolling stealth with disadvantage#the disadvantage is dogs#all of this to say#remember to find joy in the little things#even if it's army crawling under your bed#giggling like a small child half “hidden” behind a lamp
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
97 notes
·
View notes
Note
It makes things harder with shinso. where monoma is a natural, shinso is a work in progress. ita not his fault- he was an only child, now with no children of his own. Parenthood is only taught through experience.
You catch the two of them in the kitchen one day. Your son is uncharacteristically quiet as he swings his legs in the chair.
"Here." Shinso's unwrapping a little ice cream treat from the freezer. "Don't tell mom, okay?"
"Hm." Your toddler thinks. "I tell mom."
"No, don't tell mom. It's a secret."
Your son is unimpressed. "I tell mom."
Shinso groans out a sigh, shoulders falling in defeat. He hands the little treat over carefully, making sure it's stable in those grabby hands before he lets go.
"Okay, fine. We'll tell mom," he sighs again. "Be careful. Don't spill."
Leaned against the doorframe, you watch them with a hopefully little joy in your chest. Maybe they'll get through this; Shinso even went out and got ice cream! It's the perfect olive branch for a toddler-
No. Wait. That's the ice cream bar that was already in the freezer, the one you can't give to your son because of the-
"Fuck, Shit, Hitoshi, no-" You practically fly into the room and snatch the treat from your son's fingers, ripping it away with a bit too much force. The baby's cheeks immediately go ruddy with emotion, one that he can't quite process yet, as you rub the dripping away with your sleeve.
"What?" Your boyfriend is on his feet again, reflexively defensive.
"It's got nuts in it!" The ice cream has fallen to the floor, but you can't bring yourself to care. His hands are puffy with baby fat, and you find yourself doubting where or not they've always looked like this. His allergy isn't severe enough that he can't touch a nut, but one day, it could be.
"No, I checked, it-"
"It has sesame! Nut and seed allergy, I told you!"
Your toddler's brain finally catches up with what's happening. With a whimper, then a sniffle, then a full blown sob, he erupts into tears, kicking and screaming and throwing his balled up fists around aimlessly.
"I wan- it," he howls.
"Oh, baby." You're pissed and you can't tell if the anger is misplaced. With a shaking hand, you rub your toddler's back, small little circles, just how he likes it. "You can't have the ice cream. It'll make you sick."
"But I wan-" He can't even hiccup out a sentence. The sound of his cries is heartwrenching, but more importantly, headache inducing. God, you're already so tired, and these tantrums always last so long-
You reel back and snap at Shinso, who's back to rustling through the freezer. The epipem has already been pulled from the cabinet where you keep it, and you're honestly a little surprised Shinso remembered where it was. "Who gives a baby black sesame flavored anything?"
"I'm sorry," he snaps back with equal force. "Hey, buddy, want a banana?"
"A banana, Hitoshi?"
"I'm trying!"
our toddler’s dad is monoma btw
Your little guy always runs up to him with the wettest little "Daaaadddddddyyyyyyyy-" and Monoma always picks him up and swings him around until they're both a little ball of giggles.
"Did you have fun with mommy and her boyfriend?" Monoma sticks out his tongue and your toddler mimics it, shaking his head violently.
"No!"
"That's right, Daddy's the best, huh?" Your kid is much too big to bounce around and yet Monoma does it anyway. It honestly pisses you off, how well they get along. You almost wish he was bad at this- it'd give you more of a reason to hate the guy. "You love me the most, right?"
"I- I-" His little tongue still isn't good at making sentences. It feels like it fights with his brain sometimes, like he doesn't have the thinking power to say what he really wants. "I love eb-berrybody-"
"But-?" Monoma leads.
"But daddy the most." His son completes in the exact same tone.
"That's my man!"
You step in. "Neito, that's not cool."
With a roll of his eyes, Monoma rubs his nose into your son's cheek, wriggling out more laughter.
"We love mommy too, right?" he urges. "We love mommy sooo much?
Again, your son is a mirror image of his dad.
"Sooo much!"
189 notes
·
View notes
Text
*
#beautiful things list in the tags#so i can remember a day that seemed full of them#going to the religious bookstore and finding lots of things (the beautiful advent wreath!)#quick trip to the library and picking up a couple of middle grade books on a whim#(short things that don't add much to the overwhelming tbr but add a bit of joy into the options list)#going to wendy's and getting a lime coke#listening to fascinating religious history things that opened up new ideas and made new connections with what i'd been reading#wedding dress shopping with my sister#in a cute little shop with nice staff#where i felt like my input was helpful#wandering a bit in a city we never go to#in a rainy chilly late night atmosphere that felt very hallmark christmas movie#(in a good cozy way not in the over-the-top christmas decorations way)#thrift shopping and finding a lightweight sweater that fills a need in my wardrobe#(since we've had a warm year that limits me to only a few of my sweaters)#coming home and finding that a book i ordered had arrived#lots of lovely poem recommendations and conversations#some sights on a rainy day that filled me with that fantasy sort of awe and longing#seeing a distant shore through a fog that looked like an ancient castle rising up out of the mist#a hill of plants topped with crimson leaves that looked like a fabric or wallpaper pattern come to life#it was just a day filled with a lot of beauty#and i made a conscious effort to notice it#one of those days you want to keep
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
there's something so comforting about artists you admire talking about their own struggles and insecurities
#txt#was watching supereyepatchwolf's video on chainsaw man again and listening to fujimoto express regret about things he didnt learn#and how he's clearly envious of his peers is so... comforting?#i think about my own strengths and flaws and often times i get so frustrated with my shortcomings#im not good at drawing feet; my backgrounds are purposefully simplistic and lack a lot of detail; sometimes my designs have a tendency to#overlap or feel very 'safe' in terms of what i really want to do#its why; despite my love for clowning on media and animated works. i never want to feel like its from a place of malice#the joy of art is always seeing those little mistakes and nuances. its also noticing the achievements other creators have made that you#still lack#even for a certain hell-based show i love to poke fun at for its many. many issues. its undeniable how incredibly passionate the work is.#and i do respect anyone who is willing to get their flawed media out there (myself included)#i see stuff about people calling me their inspo or how flattered they are when i compliment their work and its like. gee. i hold myself at#such a high bar and even still im always surprise when people tell me how much my work moved and changed them#i really love writing just little fun things that i just dont really see anyone else touching and its kind of fun how despite my own#personal grievances with my own flaws and mistakes#people really do find things that they love within them.#anyways I know this is getting long but I’ve just been getting sentimental abt the creation of art#sometimes people make fun of me for love of drawing women and lesbians and bugs and so on#and while I will never let me deter me from my process. sometimes it does get to me#but then I remember that I love doing this and could ever see myself holding back#and knowing despite how other people feel. I have so many followers who resonate with my weird ass shit#that it’s all worth it. ya know?
455 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm sorry I can't take your call right now, I'm becoming unhinged about Transformers again,,,
#i just. man#first of all i was super into it when i was younger. optimus prime has long been a projectable (and ratchet too‚ from tfp)#but even that's like more recent. when i was SEVEN i was running around in circles to the transformers 1980 theme and re-binging the movie#(autism? what? who? where? but fr it was like a daily thing p much where me and my brothers would just lose it to that song. good ol' days)#transformers#for the search function lol. anyways back to the ramble: the obsession started young and continued throughout my teenage years#the transformers prime version was ABSOLUTELY peak and clears every time. still SO good my brothers and i binged the heck out of that too#but i don't think we ever got to watch the movie??? or maybe it was season 3??? either way i remember being like WHAT OPTIMUS IS EVIL???#and never getting resolution which i still need to do (also reminding me of clone wars...never did finish that one and still not spoiled)#anyway yeah the nintendo 3DS transformers prime game was yet another staple of my childhood. fave main was optimus obvs#but it just fills me with joy to see the resurgence in this and also makes me feel some complex emotions because it's a part of little me#and that version of me feels like so long ago...my own orion pax in a way#11-year-old me checking out giant lore books and speeding through them (i need to find this one book!! it's been years!!#it was the first transformers tome i ever read and told the story of orion pax!! and i vaguely remember the cover? but not the title! help!)#ANYway yes just feeling a lot of feelings and. i love transformers#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#kay has a party in the tags#also if you're reading this: i voted and you should too!!!
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
I want the managers of Mattel and MGA doll drops and the descendants writers to lower my coffin into the ground so they can all let me down one more time
#i remembered descendants existed#so after i saw through the soul crushing depression of that being real#i remembered that Harry and Ben were written#and i was like yay#cuz theyve said the phrases#“and you my little ducking are ravishing”#and “idk lets get the anti love spell a little while to take effect” followed by the laughter of a man who's realized that every woman#he will ever love only cares about his status and not him and hes fucking loosing it#but he has to keep it together because hes about to be crowned king at the age of 16#respectively#and its not good writing but its funny#and they get like no screentime#very very crying about it#the women who abuse ben get to have screen time though#that made me very upset#but they do get a scene where ben is tied up on a pirate ship and harry makes fun of hi#and it is VERY homoerotic#they get like a combined 40 minutes of screentime most of which involves them being overshadowed#by the stereotypical girlboss woman#aka mal (fucking hate that bitch)#so fuck Disney#they crushed the very little joy i tried to find in their movies#the mattel and mga thing is self explanatory#ben florian#harry hook#god their names are so awful#and their outfits#resisting the urge to write a whole fixing the 2 of them thing
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
good morning friendz & happy tuesday ! ! i hope today is a great day for everyone ! please remember to do something sweet for yourself because you are doing your best and that’s more than good enough !
#yesterday was soooooo not it i’m ngl#but today is a brand new day !!#and it’ll be a good one <3#🫂🩷 hugging whoever needs one rn . the world can be scary sometimes but we will find joy in the little things !#you’ll put on your fave show or eat your fave treat and the world will seem a little less harsh ᰔ#give it a lil time and you’ll start to feel okay again . . slowly but surely <3#<- using this as a lil reminder for myself as well 🙂↕️#going to queue up a lil zoro blurb that’s been in the drafts for far too long#idk if it’s rlly my best work or anything but it’s done & feels good enough so we move#need to stop hoarding onto stuff !!!!#reminding myself it’s not that serious and if it’s not 110% the best thing i’ve ever written then it’s okay bc i had fun writing it#and if i don’t post now it’ll just be endless edits for the rest of my tumblr days … shivers .#FHDJDDJDJ#i hope u all have a great day & remember to stay awesome mhm <3#sending out lots of love#₊˚⊹ ᰔ xoxo aims#ヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞ — ✩ daily yap.
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
anyone else just so full of wonder and whimsy despite it all
#no matter what happens. i WILL try to find joy in the little things#i WILL remember that nature is beautiful and people aren't inherently cruel#texty~#my post
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Struggling really bad with migraines. I can’t be here a lot because it’s awful to look at the screen. I’m struggling to walk straight lines because of the dizziness and I can’t sleep because of the pain. The thing about being constantly sick is that… it’s so boring. You can’t really do anything because of the pain, but you also wish you were doing literally anything else instead of being miserable in bed. Most of all, I wish for low pain days and less fatigue. Oh, and I also want so bad to be by the beach.
Queue is on as usual, and it’s safe to say I won’t be around as much as long as this crisis continues.
I hope everyone is doing okay. I wish you all low pain days, less fatigue, and a long seaside vacation.
Lots of love,
Liv
#this turned out longer than I expected#oh well#it’s 2:20am and I can’t sleep because of the pain and the ringing in my years#idk man I’m so tired of the sameness of day to day life with chronic pain#I’m trying to remember that I can find joy in the little things and try to slowly build a life that makes me feel stable and safe#but it’s hard#because of the pain of course
100 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#when my mom had just passed away#I struggled the most with talking about her in past tense it just didn’t make sense#and I remember being in the living room watching tv and then staring at the door to the kitchen bc I thought I heard her steps or#maybe hoping to see her come in#but it didn’t happen#it’s a very difficult thing to navigate through but you just gotta be kind with yourself#it’s been almost two years and I haven’t fully grasped how much losing her the way we did has changed me#in May for example I realised I’m a lot more quieter than what I used to be#and that the little questionnaire I went through every morning when I woke didn’t really go away#I still do it but it’s more automated than it used to be#this got too long sorry my point is#grief changes us and it’s scary but it’s gonna happen anyway so it’s best to be find the things that make you feel like you’re afloat#I’m finding a lot of joy in watching videos of Liam dancing and enjoying his songs#he’s always going to be smiling in those and I want them to be the last thing I see before I fall asleep even if my chest still hurts#there are so many grammar mistakes here maybe the pills have kicked in
2 notes
·
View notes