#remember the time when someone deleted their blog because of me. hilarious

[micah-nicholas]

I was dissociative-misinfo, and I want to apologize.

Hi, I'm Micah, previously known as the tumblr user dissociative-misinfo. That username has since been taken by another person, whom I am not affiliated with.

For those unaware, during around Sept-Nov(?) of this year, I ran an "anti-misinfo" blog that was involved heavily in syscourse. I was staunchly anti-endo, I posted to r/systemscringe, and I personally attacked a lot of people. Like most people, I joined syscourse because I was angry, and I wanted to get my opinions (that I thought were facts) out into the world. I had a few sources, but much of what I said was fuelled by anger and my own individual ideas of what was "real" or "fake" in regards to CDDs.

So why am I back? Well, I don't know if I am. I didn't have intentions of making a sysblr blog again or returning to the community in any way. But I was informed a little while ago that people were theorizing about me being back under new usernames, and for the sake of honesty and not wanting to "become an urban legend," I sent two users anons letting them know that I am not back, and I would appreciate it if they not spread that I am.

One user didn't publish the ask, and I respect that decision. The other person, @okiimii , did publish my ask. She's actually the reason I decided to make this post at all. She responded to my ask very kindly and made me feel hopeful about returning to sysblr, if I ever decided to.

https://www.tumblr.com/okiimii/769848302226292736/okay-this-is-the-second-time-someone-has-assumed?source=share

There's the link and her response, for anyone curious.

So, this post. Am I back? Not sure yet, to be honest. But I wanted to make at least this one post to publicly apologize to the people I was rude to. I can't dig up every username, since my old tumblr (and reddit) account is fully deleted, but I've searched my old username and found everything I could so I know exactly who deserves apologies and for what.

Disclaimer that I am not very good at apologies. I'm doing my best with this post, but I understand if nobody wants to accept my apologies and if the people who were affected feel like these aren't satisfactory. You're all well within your rights to feel anyway you want about me.

@theapollosystem (regarding this interaction: https://www.tumblr.com/spot-the-ableism/762538026752770048/im-so-sorry-theapollosystem-they-do-this-a-lot?source=share ) As the reblogs to this post pointed out, I should not have personally reblogged you to make my point about introjects. Even ignoring that my point was stupid, it was disrespectful and rude for me to single you out like that. The post has gained a lot of traction, most of which I've seen is positive, which I was happy to see. I was worried when I was 1k+ notes that it would be people siding with me, or attacking you further.

As I said, my original point of argument was really fucking stupid. I was being ridiculously pedantic and petty about a joke, and I remember making multiple posts bitching about that same joke format, because I had some sort of fixated hatred for it. I'm sorry for reblogging you with that, and for indirectly fakeclaiming you.

@sysmedsaresexist (regarding this interaction: https://www.tumblr.com/sysmedsaresexist/763234703319908352/omg-lmao-okay-no-i-cant-this-is-hilarious-this?source=share ) This was NOT my proudest moment, and thinking back, this is when I first knew my blog wasn't going to last. I... have no idea what possessed me to say OSDD isn't a system-related disorder, I really wish I knew how the fuck I got there. This interaction is why some people seem to think my misinfo blog was bait.

The apology here is multi-faceted. I shouldn't have been giving OOP advice, I was not in a headspace to do so and I came across as very fakeclaim-y the way I went about it. Also, obligatory many of my points were fucking stupid. I also shouldn't have tried to veer off in that wild direction with OSDD. I wanted to have the one-up on you, SAS, because you were known for being a large pro-endo blog, and during my time running dissociative-misinfo, I didn't think pro-endos could be right about anything. It was a very binary way of thinking, and really fucking dumb of me.

My entire argument was extremely biased, I was trying to narrow down who was a valid system so I could gatekeep CDDs from people who gave me the ick. I'd also like to apologize for my series of posts following that interaction, about how I was convinced you had a groupchat with SophieinWonderland and that the two of you were sending people after me. OBVIOUSLY, THAT ISN'T TRUE, and you pointed out that you don't even like Sophie. So, I'm sorry for that entire flaming mess.

A blanket apology to anyone else I reblogged who I was rude to, EVERYONE I posted to r/systemscringe (my old username was runaway_convoy, for full transparency), and every system who has introjects because I was really shitty to the lot of you. I'm sorry for behind a cunt to everyone I disagreed with, for fakeclaiming a lot of people through my posts, and for bothering a lot of people who were just existing on sysblr, not even in syscourse, with my bullshit and rants. None of you deserved that.

Next I want to massively apologize to the community of organized abuse survivors as a whole, particularly those with DID/OSDD. I'm not going to touch on the RAMCOA term discourse, I haven't thought about my opinions on that in a while now, and I don't have a stance anymore. It's not something I have personal experience with, so I will be staying the fuck out of that discourse, where I belong.

This apology is for my bait sideblog I ran called snowchester-system. This blog was, frankly, an insult to the system community as a whole. For anyone who wasn't there to see the posts I made: snowchester-system was a bait blog I ran where I pretended to be a 15 year old (later retconned to 27, which was dubiously believed) diagnosed with HC-DID (among other labels that aren't diagnosable), who had been programmed in 2020 by a Dream SMP cult. Obviously I was playing into the systemscringe stereotypes of what makes someone look fake, and I was making myself look as fake as possible.

I didn't interact with many other blogs from snowchester, and the ones I did were fellow bait blogs ran by people in my now-deleted discord server. One of those people was a former owner of r/systemscringe, which is why the subreddit now has a pinned post stating they are not affiliated with the DSMP bait group.

I want to make it abundantly clear that the former owner I was working with is not currently affiliated with the subreddit, nor were they when snowchester was active. It was their idea that I incorporate their old reddit user, u/pomme-pommes, into the bait lore because it would be funny, or attract the sub to post my bait blog more, or whatever was going through our heads at the time.

The fake "lore" I created for my bait blog was extremely offensive to survivors of organized abuse, and it didn't benefit anybody in the system community. That blog only benefitted a few redditors who got karma by posting screenshots of it. For someone who was claiming on my misinfo blog that I wanted to "fix" the system community, I was doing a whole heaping lot of harm to it.

(A side note about the racism allegations part of snowchester's run: One of the fake alters I created for the blog was supposedly hispanic and spoke broken google translated spanish. That was not intended to be racist, I myself am Puerto Rican and I speak some spanish. I thought at the time that an alter who claimed to be fluent in a language he clearly wasn't would be funny from a "this is a syscringe stereotype" perspective. The fake alter was a Quackity introject, and Quackity is a hispanic content creator. The running jokes the fake alter made were the same ones the real-life Quackity has made. With all this in mind, I disagree with being called racist for that fake alter. Was it a shitty thing to do? Of course, faking DID for syscringe bait is shitty. But it was not racism.)

And that's my apologies, with a few clarifications. I definitely didn't cover everyone I affected, but to those I did, I really am sorry. I don't hold the same opinions I did when I ran my blogs, and I have no intentions of being so hateful in the future. If I do start using this blog, it won't be "informational." If anything, I'll post about my personal DID stuff.

Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this. I don't want to leave the system community forever, I've been here in different forms since 2021, and this community means a lot to me. My DID is a big part of my life, and with that so is being in the community surrounding it.

-- Micah

[trans-yllz]

this blog has had so many Tumblr Is A Website events its so funny. I started so much shit as a teenager and was like a magnet for people saying insane things to me. I simply don't have the energy anymore

[scribe-cas]

Get to Know Your Moots Writeblr Interview

(Tagged by @scribe-of-stories :> the fact that "the scribes" is a thing sparks so much joy you don't even get it /pos)

On the Tumblr Writing Community

How long have you had your writing Tumblr/Writeblr?

Like approximately a year and 2 weeks. Ish

What led you to create it?

It started off as literally my main blog but I post so much about my characters that I just. It's basically just a writing blog now because I'm too insane about my own series

What’s your favorite thing about the Writeblr community?

PEOPLE RAAHHHHHHHHH

Also the fact that people here are normal about villains and like.. media that isn't scrubbed of any substance. Cancel culture and Hays code my detested <3

What’s one thing you’d like your mutuals to know about you?

Please talk to me about my characters please please please please ask me stuff I swear asks light up my mind and I don't bite no question is a dumb one

Also if you like couteau I'm eating you alive /affectionate /positive

If you're new here you'll see my obsession with cou knows no bounds. Being told to go write about him motivates me to no end. I will get you guys a book I just wanna write about him HORFUSHUFAHSHD

Is there anything you’d like to see more of on your dash?

OCS. GIVE ME YOUR OCS. I KNOW THIS IS WRITEBLR BUT I WANNA SEE THEM. IF YOU DONT HAVE ART OF THEM I'LL MAKE YOU ART OF THEM DAMNIT.

What tips/advice do you have for someone who made a Writeblr today?

Babe i don't know what I'm doing let alone advice for other people. Um I guess be insane about your projects. Don't be afraid to not take yourself seriously, and enjoy working on your WIPs. People talk about how oh writing is supposed to be self reflective writing is supposed to be about learning about others- my writing is a joke to me and everyone around. If it ends up being something else later on that's great but right now no its whatever i think would be funny rn.

WIP it Good

Which Works-in-Progress (WIPs) or writing projects are you noodling about, lately?

Blood is sweeter than silence my beloved....

How long have you been working on them?

6 years actually writing (2 drafts of mine were deleted by negligent roommates so I've had to completely restart) but about 10 since I started thinking about it

Do you remember what inspired them/what got you started?

Literally a million things. But also it mostly just kinda came from my own brain. Everything I've ever experienced has shaped it.

How much time, in your best estimation, do you spend thinking about them?

It never leaves my mind. Literally ever. Ask my wife it's literally all I talk about

When someone asks the dreaded, “What do you write about,” question, what do you usually say?

"Oh I'm really dabbling in slasher-comedy recently" /voice of a man who is so proud of the genre 'slasher-comedy'

What do you want to say (if it’s different from what you do say)?

Honestly slasher comedy is pretty accurate. It leaves out the rampant implications of demon horniness but that isn't technically relevant to the plot

Let’s Rotate Blorbos

Name any characters you created.

Amara (Ami), Seamus (Gambit), Couteau, Sally, Rix, Ally, Lainey, Varasha- the list goes on

Who’s the most unhinged?

Rix when it comes to like being actually impaired in the brain but Couteau when we're talking just. Nuts. Like when a character just is that way because they can be.

Who comes the most naturally for you to write?

None of them ever /lh, it is ALWAYS a struggle

Do you ever cringe at them?

No I find them hilarious if I'm being honest. They do some cringefail shit and I just laugh

How much control do you feel you have over your characters?

They are writing this shit. I am just witnessing and occasionally figuring stuff out from subtext.

Do you enjoy people asking questions about your characters?

GOD YES. LITERALLY ANYTHING. RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Literally even just like poking me on what WIPs I've got going on will spur me into it I love knowing there are people who want to see the scene im working on when it's done. Or sometimes I write fanfiction that's kinda canon adjacent? And if you also wanted to see that I'd kiss you on the mouth /pos

But God yes I love talking about them. I will explain stuff over and over again to every new person ever I love you questions about my characters

On Writeblr Engagement

What makes you want to follow another Writeblr account?

There is no criteria. If you post and I like the thing you posted, you get followed

What makes you decide against following?

... show me your stuff or I can't see it and know how cool it is and follow you. If you show me nothing then nothing you will receive

Do you interact with non-mutuals often?

Yes! But also no because I barely manage to interact on here at all sometimes /lh

Do your mutuals’ characters occupy space in your noodle?

Yeah I rotate Ela and Kei around in my head pretty regularly

And every Michael ever made by @sandranetta13

I interact with ink and myth on a daily basis tho /lh

Anyways open tag other than for you two fuckers I'm making it mandatory @daughter-of-inklings @mythie-and-mages

[spacetimeodysseyofjane]

From The Vault: 11 Mar 2019

Having fun, eh? How are you doing? I am sure that you are still hurting but kudos to you! getting better each day! You have already did a lot of things, I know its a long long way, but youve already started it.

Its okay to be sad at times, no one is stopping you from feeling that way. Your feelings are valid. And dont ever think that you are weak for feeling sad. Just dont go back to anything/anyone that brought you pain.

Keeping yourself busy is helping you, please, please, continue being productive. Dont let any frustrations get into you. You need to build yourself up again.

You did it before, you can do it again.

Fast forward! I did it! Visited my old journal and I found this. Grabe! it felt like a century ago! To be honest, I have forgotten most of what happened! One of my bestfriends told me that I am so good at repressing memories! hahaha! I guess, it was legit painful for me that my brain pushed all the bad things to my unconscious. lolz.

I am trying to recall events, but I can't clearly remember. I just know that it hurt so bad that I want to start anew. I deleted everything, didnt leave a single convo from any social platforms. I also unfollowed and unfriended people who are not good for me. During those times, I want to disappear! I was even praying to God to give me amnesia! hahaha!

What happened last 2019 was super strange to me, I wasn't broken because someone left me. I was heartbroken because I failed myself. I betrayed myself in many ways. I allowed things to happen even though I am aware that I'll regret the outcome. I was heartbroken because I hurt myself and I hurt other people.

_________________________

2023 UPDATE!

i'm cleaning up my tumblr drafts, i wrote this last year. i dont know why i didnt share it. lol. i just realized that i've been blogging my life since i was a teen and here i am, turning 30 and still doing it :D i'm glad i documented my life. i know it's weird coz i dont want this to be out in the public but writing is therapeutic for me and i'll never get tired of blogging.

anyway, there's a strange feeling after reading the post. i know that it happened but i cant remember the exact feeling. and i am happy about it lol i sure dont want to experience that again. but there was a point in my life before that it hurts so much that i thought i will never get over the pain. and now it's gone. everything will pass. :)

funny coz while writing this, so yesterday by hilary duff is playing

Laugh it off and let it go and When you wake up it will seem so yesterday, so yesterday Haven't you heard that I'm gonna be okay?

[ji-yaaan]

Anonymous asked:

Hello! I like your blog and the little comments here and there makes me laugh at times hehe ^^ May I request headcanons for Vil, Leona, Mal, and Floyd reactions and what they'll do to reconcile w/ the reader after a very hearted argument to which Reader may have said "I hate you" before storming out. Would they wait for a bit? A few days or hours? Or would they be upfront with their apology immediately? Reader also apologizes at the end, crying slightly if that's okay. If you notice me, thanks! 

°•°•𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐌𝐞?•°•°•

HC's with: Leona, Vil, Floyd, and Malleus.

Note: Ofc, I was late yet again. Pls forgive me dear sir... And ofc tumblr hates me so it won't cooperate! Drafts got deleted 3 times.... so if it somehow becomes inconsistent... I DEEPLY APOLOGIZE! STONE ME GENTLY! anyways, i hope you enjoy this, actually no, I beg that you enjoy this?! Idk lololololololololol.

[𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚝𝚎𝚊 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚠𝚎𝚍? 𝙸𝚍𝚔 𝚕𝚘𝚕]

°•°•°•𝙇𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙖 𝙆𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙖𝙧 •°•°•°

“I HATE YOU!” with bits of tears in your eyes, you slammed the door shut behind you leaving Leona dumbfounded all by himself.

You hate him?You hate him!?!? Is that like for real??? He’ll scratch the back of his head in shame of pushing things too far to the point you were in tears.

But what can he do? His pride caught the best of him and he acted rash in the heat of the moment. This prideful lion just doesn’t know when to shut up smh.ಥ‿ಥ

He’ll try to remember when did everything started to go wrong, but he'll just get more and more guilty the more he thinks about it.

“Tchhhh... I messed up big time...”

It's not his style to give up easily, but his mind was set in a frenzy the moment he thinks about you leaving him.

A day without you started to become dull and boring the moment he grew fond of you. So it somehow became a habit of his to constantly seek you unconsciously. Whether it's a whiff of your scent, your voice ringing in the hallways, even the sound of your footsteps is something he could easily recognize.

But now that the two of you fought, this lion will find any way possible to avoid you seeing him.

Yeah... it will probably take a while for him to apologize...(꒦ິ⌓꒦ີ)

But when the time does come, expect Leona to prepare a simple yet sincere apology.

“Oi herbivore... Sorry about the other day ok? I missed my pillow for a while now...I lose...”

Simple yet sincere :') The prideful arrogant lion somehow learned to apologize despite his ego way ahead of him. He can't stand the thought of loosing you ok? (｡•́︿•̀｡)

°•°•°•°•𝙑𝙞𝙡 𝙎𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙚𝙣𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙩•°•°•°•°•

“VIL STOP IT! I hate this! I hate everything! I hate you!” you quickly ran away to the door as vil stood in his spot stupefied.

You hate him? You hate the Vil Schoenheit himself?Then so be it...

Vil is basically pissed and angry™. Moreover, you had the guts and audacity to tell him you hate him. His pride was shattered in front of him. And he's not happy about that (꒦ິ⌓꒦ີ)

Nope. Nah. Never. He's not apologizing anytime sooner now. He'll be waiting for that spicy well deserved apology you have for him...

He'll try his best to avoid you and give you the sassy cold shoulder treatment™. It will probably last for a few days or maybe a week. He has his pride y’know?

Not until he hears a muffled sob in the hallways and realized it was your voice. You looked visibly upset and sad as you cried your heart out, all alone in the empty hallways.

Oh no... What did he do? Was his nagging that bad? Did he take it too far with the makeovers? Guilt ate his soul away as he tried to sort out his thoughts with the clear image of your crying face embedded in his mind.

“Okay... Maybe I did take it a little too far...”

Making up his mind, Vil will try to make everything set for tomorrow and apologize to you to fix this feud  you both have. ( ╹▽╹ )

When classes are over and the two of you finally get to be alone, Vil will try to straighten this misunderstanding now! ( ꈍᴗꈍ)

“Hey Y/n I just want to tell you... I'm sorry.” “Vil I'm so sorry for the other day!-”

The both of you stared at each other with shock... Did the both of you just say sorry at the same time?

“Pfffttttt-” The both of you laugh from how hilarious this moment was. It felt as if the fight you had didn't happened at all. (人 •͈ᴗ•͈)

“Y/n I'm sorry... I took it too far with what I do without asking your opinion first...”

“Yeah... I'm sorry I lashed out at you too... That was petty...”

Vil will definitely make a million dollar once in a lifetime seen smile, so you better treasure this rare sight!!!(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

“No more fighting, okay? ”

•°•°•°•°•𝙁𝙡𝙤𝙮𝙙 𝙇𝙚𝙚𝙘𝙝•°•°•°•°•°

“Floyd I hate you!” you slammed your way out of the table, running away from Floyd.

Angering Floyd was not the brightest Idea in the book. His infamous “bad moods” was not something anyone would like to experience. But somehow, he was really pushy and annoying today and you were fed up with it.

“Ahhhh~ Koebi-chan hates me now? what do I do?”

Thankfully, Floyd wasn’t really angry, though he was sad and heart broken that his favorite person said they hated him.(╥╭╮╥)

Floyd is an impulsive boi, so he might secretly follow you to see your face or something lol.

Ofc, Knowing Floyd, he’d definitely skip classes and skip his job at the Mostro Lounge  due to his mood swings. Ofc, a certain octoboi wasn’t really happy with this.

Azul will probs tell Jade to help out his brother or something, lol Azul be secretly worrying for the two of you loooool.

However, with the help of Jade, the mushroom eel himself, he can guide his brother to make up with you!!!

Thank god mushroom eel is here to save the day! ( ´◡‿ゝ◡`)

A fight with Floyd won’t really last long. Because Floyd being Floyd, he’ll naturally come to you like nothing ever happened! That’s why you have to be patient and understanding when it comes to Floyd ok?

With the biggest hug from behind you. There was a cute eel boi that has come to ambush you with love!

“Shrimppy! Don’t avoid meeee! I miss you so much so hang out with me at the Mostro Lounge againnn!”

Floyd is not really good with his words nor his apologies. Though, his blunt and honest demeanor is definitely one of his charming points!!!! (☆▽☆)

“Shrimpy! I have some takoyaki with me! let’s share them together ok?!”

Ugh, Floyd is too cute... It would be a capital sin to not forgive him and decline his offer! Tsk I’m watching you, you better accept that apology!

•°•°•°•𝙈𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙪𝙨 𝘿𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙞𝙖•°•°•°

“MALLEUS I HATE YOU!”

Shock. Pure shock. You hate him? The last thing Malleus wants is to hurt your feelings. In his eyes, humans are delicate and vulnerable beings, so he tries his best to protect you and treat you with utter delicacy. Yet it seems as if he failed to do that...

Just before you slam the door behind you and escape this fight, a hand grabs your wrist in attempts to stop you. Nonetheless you still make your way out, leaving Malleus standing there alone.

Malleus was deeply hurt and sorry for making you sad and angry. His heart was shattered with the thought of you leaving him, someone who made their way this close to his heart, someone he cherishes deeply.

But this fight wont really last long because Malmal would definitely try and apologize as quickly as possible!(ᓀ˵▾˵ᓂ)

Malleus is the soft type of person and I feel like he’d give up easily if it was you lol.(｡•́︿•̀｡)

Even if his apology was heard but not accepted, he’d gladly say his sorry no matter how much time and patience it will take, just for you to forgive him.༎ຶ‿༎ຶ

He’ll try to give you and Hour or two to clear your mind, then he’ll apologize!

Standing in front of your room, he’ll knock lightly at the door in front of him... No answer... So you’re still mad huh?

Leaning his forehead at the door, He’ll try to talk to you in hope for you to come out of your room. But nahhh, no signs of you leaving your room soo (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

He’ll mutter apologies after another just in case you hear them :’D

“Y/n I’m sorry for hurting your feelings earlier... that was rash of me to say, so I truly apologize... I hope my feelings reach you.”

Hearing his voice, it would prolly sound as if he’s ready to cry any moment by now. You’d be a monster if you don’t forgive this fae cutie!!!(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻

When you finally come out of the door to see him. I bet you he’s moment away from his tear dripping down. Ó╭╮Ò

“You’re not mad now right? Then is it fine to ask if we eat some ice cream later?”

You bet that Malleus would give you the biggest  cheeriest grin in the entire world! oh the things you keep doing to him never surprises him. Pls dont leave this cinnamon roll or else-

That's it cuties! I need to sleep now- my classes are thriving, but I'm not!!!

God, school stuff are taking away my precious freedom and time for writing smh.

Oh god, I'm ranting again... What's new? AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Anyways, I need to woosh now and I hope you enjoyed this one!!!

[nat-stimmy]

✏️ ?

🌈 You’re honestly hilarious and sometimes I think to myself I’m glad there’s people like you guys in the world

Also thanks for using my ask game! -Wry

AAAA THANK YOU,, ✏️ - What’s your favorite thing you’ve made on this blog? WELL I'm glad you asked that actually because [THIS] post has a whole overarching backstory to it and i've been DYING to tell people bc i think it's interesting so

way way back sometime last year i came across a playlist on youtube when looking for weirdcore music, and. it was good. like really fucking good! so i checked out some other weirdcore playlists from the same person and i stumbled upon one in particular called "Whimsy Forest | A Darkening Weirdcore + Dreamcore Playlist" and it quickly became my favorite playlist of all time! i was vibing and having a GREAT time when i got to the end of the playlist and saw this

and i was IMMEDIATELY smitten. not only was this image fucking. very very cool to me, but the song was GREAT, AND!!! the two went so so well together! and? the biggest most important part?? this playlist and this image + song combo specifically was what made me realize i was weirdcoric. i HAD to figure out where this image came from.

so i began my search. and found absolutely nothing. i couldn't even find the post that 2kinoko got it from to put in the video.

so i abandoned it, since i couldn't read japanese and the words were cut off anyways, and weirdcore images like this are notoriously difficult to find.

then!! i befriended someone who DID know japanese. and my search was re-ignited.... and we still couldnt figure out where the thing came from.

months and months go by, and i eventually start up my weirdcore blog, and decide to post the pic i had of it from the playlist there! and i go on with my day

a while later i'm going thru my blog and i see a reblog on the post. someone says they recognize it, they've stumbled across a VIDEO OF IT on twitter. i get super excited... i click the link, praying that it isn't a screamer or a dead end...

and its real. it's a song. a music video. i had finally fucking found it.

i downloaded the video just in case the account or tweet was deleted, so i'd have it forever. i made a bunch of gifs of it. and i finally felt fulfilled- my months long search was over.

in the tags of the post i say that nothing i post will ever top it. i really did mean that. i cannot explain how important that gifset is to me,, it really felt like i had solved a mystery, i can still remember clearly the rush of adrenaline when i saw the neon blue sun rising over the city set.

not to get like. overly emotional on the fun ask game answer but jklJFDKSLJFDKLS i know it's not the most popular post on my blog, or even the most stimmy to a lot of people, but it represents finally figuring out an inherent intrinsic part of myself, of finding an answer to a question i had fully accepted would never be answered.

so. its got a lot of personal value to me

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

What a coward ass account. I’ve asked about several questions but I bet you won’t answer it because apparently you ship a fake ship and have 0 backbone and you can’t argue with anyone because you’ve nothing to back up your fanservice ass ship. Namjin is merely a friendship and a professional one at that. Wake up. Jin is never intimate with Joon, never tells me he loves him, never goes out of his way to spoil him, never possesses over him. Never shows any sign of jealousy so how tf are y’all so fucking delulu and blind?

You know, normally I’d just delete something as rude as this but honestly you gave me a good laugh with it so I’ll take the bait. But FYI, while I planned on answering these questions sooner or later, because imagine this, some of us have jobs and things we need to take care of and thus sometimes just don’t have the time to write posts, especially when some of them take a lot of time and research, even more so when an average thematic post from me is somewhere between 2 and 5k words long. That takes a hot minute to write. Not that you’d care, but now I don’t think I’ll answer them because I truly don’t appreciate you coming into our asks and being this unnecessary level of rude. If you felt like I skipped your question or was taking an oddly long time to answer, it would’ve sufficed to send in a small question about it and you would’ve gotten a normal answer for it, but guess not.

There are several things I find extremely interesting and also hilarious about your ask, especially since they confirm basically every suspicion I have about shipping when it comes to Bangtan and mlm ships in general.

But I’d like to start with this first because it really made me pause there for a minute: “because you’ve nothing to back up your fanservice ass ship” Since your ask is about Namjin I will assume this part is as well, yes, and I really am struggling to see how they, of all ships, are a “fanservice” one considering both Namjoon and Seokjin aren’t really big on skinship and initiating hugs and touches. What, exactly, about them is fanservice? Even more so since you go on to say this: “Jin is never intimate with Joon, never tells me he loves him, never goes out of his way to spoil him, never possesses over him. Never shows any sign of jealousy” so if these are your definition of what constitutes a) fanservice and b) a relationship, yet you claim Namjin is just fanservice, how can that be if you say they never do any? This math doesn’t math, you know.

Before I get ahead of myself, let’s break this down point by point, shall we?

1. “Jin is never intimate with Joon” – Tell me, dear anon, how exactly do you know that? Are you their friend? A fly living on their wall and watching over them 24/7? And also, how, exactly, are we supposed to be shown that by them? Is Namjoon supposed to walk over to Seokjin and, I don’t know, make out with him while Bangtan B*mb Noona stands a meter away and films the whole thing? What even does intimate mean in your definition? I have a sneaking suspicion of what you’re asking for but I will give you the benefit of the doubt.

Since I like language, let’s get into the literal definition of the word intimate, shall we, because you might be surprised to find it doesn’t just mean what you think it does. According to the Cambridge dictionary, intimate has several meanings, and what Namjoon and Seokjin show us and tell us that they have is actually several of them:

“Being a close, personal friend”, does that ring a bell? It does, doesn’t it? Namjoon and Seokjin have known each other for ten years almost, have spent a considerable amount of time together, have had dinner with each other’s families, Namjoon was at Seokjin’s brother’s wedding, and Namjoon is the person he turns to when it comes to his lyrics, always makes sure to thank Namjoon in his Thank You section in their albums, and supports him however he sees fit. Isn’t that intimate?

I know you mean the sexual kind of intimate, and truly that is something neither you nor I have any knowledge of and, surprise, it’s none of our business either. If I remember correctly, we’ve never brought up anything really sexual in any of our posts because I don’t believe in this whole “sexual tension” thing that toxic shippers go around preaching about. Even if it were there, that’s not for us to discuss because their sex life is none of our business.

Next.

2. “never tells me he loves him” – Never tells you he loves him? And why, pray tell, should he tell you, specifically? Yes, I’m being petty, so what. Love speaks many different languages, and saying the words “I love you” is just one of many, many different ways in which you can let someone know you love and cherish them, romantically and platonically. Years ago when Seokjin posted a cover on SoundCloud he said in the accompanying post that he prefers saying I like you over I love you, so I guess that means he just doesn’t love anyone, yes? Besides, is he obliged to stand in front of the camera and profess his undying love to Namjoon for you to believe he loves our dearest leader?

Isn’t it enough that he shows his love and respect for Namjoon in other ways, like praising him when Namjoon was being hard on himself so Seokjin told him he did well and that he always does well even in tricky situations, or being by his side during red carpets and other such things because Namjoon once asked him to do so because he feels calmer when Seokjin is by his side? Isn’t that a beautiful way of showing someone you love them, regardless if it’s romantic or platonic love?

Next.

3. “never goes out of his way to spoil him” – Is Seokjin Namjoon’s sugar daddy? Did I miss something?

Next.

4. “never possesses over him. Never shows any sign of jealousy” – now this point I have the biggest rage at because neither of these things—possessiveness and jealousy—are good things, especially not in a romantic relationship, but really, they aren’t a good thing in any kind of relationship. Possessiveness is a slippers slope, as is jealousy, the former being a great gateway toward an abusive relationship and while that might be “”””cute”””” in raunchy romance novels and movies, it isn’t in real life. And neither is jealousy. The only thing jealousy really tells and shows you, in the context you are going for, is insecurity and a lack of faith in your relationship and especially your partner. And that, again, isn’t a good or healthy thing for a relationship, especially not a romantic one. I know toxic shippers eat up this whole jealousy bs, YouTube is full of it after all and brings in hundreds of thousands of views (and dollars), but that has nothing to do with real life. So, the fact that we never see Seokjin, or Namjoon, jealous or possessive over the other? That is a good thing. Besides, enlighten me, how is this jealousy supposed to look like because true jealousy doesn’t appear written across your face in neon letters. I’m curious.

Next.

5. “Namjin is merely a friendship and a professional one at that.” – if that is your opinion, I’m happy for you. I won’t go out of my way to prove to you why I think differently or why you should because that’s not what I’m here for. Yes, I have a certain opinion on Namjin, that’s true, but I’m not a toxic shipper who will fights someone tooth and nail over it because that’s stupid. And won’t change anything anyway. Besides, my opinion doesn’t in any shape or form negate that they are friends. Every good relationship should have friendship as basis, and I very much believe that they are very close friends, while your phrasing makes it seem like you think they are only work friends, as in people who are friends during working hours but stop once they clock out of work, just saying.

The purpose of this blog isn’t to somehow convert people into shippers or convince them of something, instead it’s simply supposed to be a happy space where we share our opinions, have fun with Bangtan, their music and everything else, and can have civil conversations without calling anyone out or calling each other names. It’s literally in our blog description “Sharing thoughts on everything Bangtan, as well as vmin and namjin”, meaning it is a blog “designed” for both OT7s as well as people who already are vminnies or namjinists, or both, and yet if someone happens to start liking one of these two pairings because of our posts, like I’ve seen happen with some readers and namjin, that’s great, but that’s not our primary goal in any kind of way.

This is our blog which also means we have the freedom to answer whichever asks we want to and however quickly we want or can. Chances are, perhaps, the way you phrased your ask simply didn’t sit well with us and thus we decided against answering it at the time. Just some food for thought.

Lastly, there are a lot of blogs that surely represent your opinions and agree with you, so what, exactly, are you looking for on our blog? Do you think by sending an ask like this, or questioning my opinions in such a manner, you’ll be able to convert us away from our opinions? Neither of us forces anyone to agree with everything we say, so you don’t have to either, and we also don’t force anyone to read our posts. If you don’t like what we post, you are free to look for a different blog with which you’ll be able to agree and find your opinion represented, I won’t stop you. Enjoy.

[faakeid]

fab nygmobblepot moments that remind you of kd uwu

OMGGGG AHDAHDUIADHAD

I want to use this moment to be sorry to everyone that follows me but keeps seeing my blog full of Nygmobs/Smaylor instead of kaisoo. I usually don’t get attached to otps like this and it happened in an unexpected way for me. But it’s here and I need to compensate for all the years I didn’t watch Gotham and had no idea about Nygmobs spamming everyone and making my heart warm.

But in general, nygmobblepot isn’t a vision of ideal relationship. Both Edward and Oswald (their surnames Cobblepot and Nygma were the ones who originated this name) are stupid and do stupid shit to each other during most of the series. So, a lot of moments related with the actors counterpart (Robin is the actor who plays Oswald and Cory who plays Ed) reminds me of kaisoo more. But a warning here! Although they have a HUGE chemistry on and off screen, they’re mostly friends. Robin is married for almost ten years so it doesn’t mean their closeness is romantic or sexual. But still, some details remind me of kd.

Similarities with nygmobs:

Height difference: it applies to Smaylor as well because it’s their height but it’s really visible in the series. Cory is a bit taller than JI I think and Robin is like 1.65 but KS is not that taller (I can’t believe he’s 1.73 at all, sorry). But, again, this factor is evident during the series and in some moments and it’s cute.

(the way he moves his feet to reach Ed’s head ;_;)

(when they hug, Oswald barely reaches his shoulders [their hugs are the equivalent to kisses in Gotham])

the closest gif I could find where we can see kd’s height difference without me stealing other people’s gifs.

Penguin reference? That’s pretty obvious. Of course I didn’t start shipping nygmobs because one of them is small and has the Penguin nickname but it made so much easier for me to read some of their fics with kd as characters because they fit the profile so much! And also, I believe KD would totally fit the “murder husbands” couple if someone did a fanfic where they just kill everyone. The closest I remember of a fanfic with this criteria is Juice Pouche where Kyungsoo is a vampire and he protects Jongin and Jongin is kind of badass as well. But the kd fandom needs more fics like this. There’s also “(Before the night is over) come see me” where KS is also a vampire and JI a young werewolf but it focuses more on their relationship than a murder husbands idea Gotham shows so well. 

How they met: Gotham’s history has a lot of differences if you compare with other universes, so keep that in mind. In Gotham, Ed works with GCPD but doesn’t feel like himself with the good side. Oswald is the character that spices things up and is a rage of death and destruction and manipulation. But Oswald is infatuated with Jim Gordon (so isn’t the first time it’s implied Penguin is gay) but he goes to the police department to see him. Ed sees him and wants to talk to him no matter the cost. And he does that... And things don’t end that friendly for him because Oswald thinks he’s a weirdo and asks him to fuck off, basically. It reminded me of kd’s first meeting where KS was the one admiring JI all along but JI get frightned. But, during their second meeting, they bond and become friends. For Nygmobs it takes more time for their second meeting but they end up developing and being in good terms :’)

Their personas, sort of: Ed is the tall one, younger and logic. Oswald is the oldest, smaller and that thinks with his heart. I love how JI could show the more logic side of himself during the last few years and, again, while reading Nygmobs fics using kd names, it was easy to fit the profile for me (that was during the time I wasn’t too deep into nygmobs and I didn’t knok them that well. KS looks cold and deatached and that’s why many people got impressed when he said, during Knowing Bros that he would choose love over friendship. He doesn’t play the part but, considering all the context, it fits him pretty well and reading this description of Oswald made me so familiar because it fits KD well. Ofc I don’t know their private lives and whatever but it’s just the impression I had as a viewer and random person;

Drama issue: when I say drama here, it’s related with how people percieve the two OTPs and how different people visualize LGBT relationship in media. Nygmobblepot had a lot of drama involved because they’re the fucking Riddler and Penguin, two of the most famous Batman villains. People saw them in different sorts of media before and others idolize those characters because of videogames and comics. So, when Oswald mentioned expressedly that he was in love with Edward, it caused an uproar in the fandom. People accused the producers and Robin of messing with the comic canon because the fucking Penguin became gay??? Robin was outspoken about the homophobia behind those statements since he’s a gay man himself but yeah, the drama existed. Part of the people invovled with the series rooted for Nygmobblepot, including some writers and the actors (Cory was the one with ambiguous messages about the nature of their relationship but it’s not even close what happened with other series like Supergirl, Supernatural and Sherlock). But it was aired by FOX, a right wing channel and, as you may imagine, they didn’t become canon per se. Actually, after Oswald said he was in love with Ed and planned on confessing to him, the writers presented a clone of Ed’s ex girlfriend with no explanation and purpose, only to separate them for most part of the series future. After that, some people seemed to have FORGOTTEN Oswald was once in love with Edward, rationalizing many things that are hard to explain with a “bro explanation”, they had a scene where the characters would have evolved even more but it was CUTTED and CHANGED and execs added the sentence “we’re brothers” to make EXPLICIT that Nygmobblepot’s relationship wouldn’t be interpreted as a romance at the end of the series (but, honestly, the actors went for the romance path anyway, the deleted scenes and the final episode can’t convince me otherwise).

What’s related with KD, may you ask? I think you’re familiar with all the drama KD faced since 2016 and how many stuff exploded during that time. How many parts are involved into creating a certain image and shifting it to be appealing and “friendly” is similar with what happens with idols. It’s no secret now about many scandals of bullying and other issues that are considered problematic and how they need to be pushed under the rug for companies so idols can make money and be profitable. Especially for male idols, it’s important that they are viewed as desirable and an object of the fans affections. That’s why he needs to be handsome and kind and look like a person that doesn’t exist. If an idol is openly gay, this person isn’t viewed by the major public with the same interest because they can’t fit the fantasy. That’s why scandals involving idols being gay need to be forgotten and deleted from people’s minds, otherwise that celebrity is ostracized. Although we tend to see the Ocident as “progressive”, there’s similar things happening in that industry. If a celebrity is openly LGBT, they don’t receive certain roles or opportunities because of it. There’s still a huge stigma that needs to be broken and we, as a society, are so far way from it. But recognizing those differences exist it’s a step forward.

Similarities with Smaylor

For me, one of the reasons Nygmobblepot works so well is because of the actors. They portrait a good chemistry because of their friendship off screen and some non verbal signs they display around each other are amazing. Those are things that remind me more of KD as we see them in a lot of moments. So, I wanted space to show those comparisons below:

Mutual admiration: it’s something both Smaylor and KD display a LOT and is extrememly outspoken. I really love watching their old interviews because the affection and admiration is so genuine it makes me drawn to them despite not being romantically involved.

(full gifset)

(there are more moments than these but I don’t want to steal gifs and there’s not much on the gif research and that sucks. Same with KD’s).

Stares and touches: Robin was the responsible for the deep stares and Cory for the random touches. There’s so many gifs of it that is hilarious. It’s like JI divided himself in two cells because we know he’s more known for both >.<

(Cory was touching Robin all the way during this interview rip)

(the gifset!!!)

You’re pretty moment: Robin, like KS, is the one that mentions about Cory/JI’s physical attributes. They have a moment pretty similar and, for KD its famous among shippers:

(gif link)

(actually, Robin called Cory dashingly handsome but its okay)

Cory lost it

There’s another series of gifsets with Robin calling Cory handsome LMAOO

:))))

Synchronization: for specialists in body language, it’s a factor that shows two people are close. That’s because of the mirror neurons we have that makes us copy movements, actions or words that someone we have empathy/we are close with do or say. Both kd and smaylor do this and it’s really soft.

(one of the classics)

(classic 2)

whole gifset (i love this interview so much)

(gif)

The fact the actors came up with their OTP names: people tend to forget that KD’s real otp name (according with Jongin) is dika. Cory also came up with Nygmobblepot name and Smaylor too <3

So, meanwhile Nygmobs has thropies that work a lot with KD AUs, Smaylor has healthy dynamics seen in public appearances KD made. Like I said above, there’s a huge polemic about shipping Smaylor romantically because Robin is married. On social media, is visible he loves his husband and it’s pretty cute to see. Cory himself mentioned that their relationship was sort of a platonic friendship (whatever that means) but it’s really genuine in terms of affections and display of admiration, something KD has as well.

Probably someone will question that it may changed the way I see KD or if now I ship them as bros. Nothing about that changed. With KD, although there are some similar details, there are internal AND external factors that made me support them in a romantic perspective in the first place. And it didn’t change. 

But both of them (Nygmobs too) make me feel that I’m testimoning something genuine, which is really hard in both kpop and media universes. In one side, we have a LOT of fanservice. And, in the other, it’s mostly a work interaction with lots of queerbating. Yes, Gotham has queerbating aspects in it but it’s not full of queerbating, if it makes sense. The message the actors and some writers wanted to convey are there and really display a romantic direction with character evolution and growth. And, considering the way media is nowadays, it’s nice to see.

[askaceattorney]

Dear Asexual-Deesasters,

Mod Edgeworth: 

If you want to know the answer to that question, go to this link.

Dear Skibot99,

Co-Mod: I’m fairly certain it was The Mod, but I don’t know for sure.  He actually had another one before it, made from an old Ace Attorney musical animation.  I haven’t been able to locate that video, unfortunately, but here’s the old banner:

Ah...  Those were good days.  Good days.

Dear Dawsongfg,

Co-Mod: It’s fine.  Besides, it won’t be too long before those letters are accepted, so maybe we’ll hold onto them until that time.

Dear skibot99 again,

Mod Edgeworth: The Lost Turnabout hands down. All logic is thrown out the window the moment Phoenix had amnesia. It’s clear the Judge knew something was wrong with Phoenix, so why didn’t he call for a recess or check on Phoenix? Not to mention Wellington was annoying. He’s probably the only character I would be hesitant to play as when answering letters, if only because he was so unbearable.

As for Turnabout Ablaze, I do agree that it is a drag to get through in the end, though the entire game of AAI was boring, aside from the game mechanics. As a case by itself, I wouldn’t put it as my least favorite, if only because I did get some funny parts out of it.  It also contributed to the overall story, whereas The Lost Turnabout could just be taken out and it wouldn’t effect the overarching plot.

Co-Mod: I’d probably have to go with Turnabout Big Top.  I honestly couldn’t figure out the part where you have to present Max’s poster without consulting a walkthrough.  Why couldn’t we just present Max himself?  Besides that, the ending was largely underwhelming -- the murder weapon was hidden under Acro’s blanket the entire time, but instead of seeing a screenshot of it there, we just have to imagine it.  Maybe it was a filler case, but that was no excuse for it to end so poorly.  Not to mention one of the witnesses was a literal puppet.

It’s hard truth, Trilo.  Live with it.

Dear skibot99 and Anonymous,

Mod Edgeworth: I… think I heard from her when the localization of DGS was announced? I know Mod Kristoph and Mod Maya introduced themselves when I came into the group. There’s a third person, but I only heard from her once. As for what’s going on with her… I don’t know.

As for the flooding the inbox, it’s fine. I won’t promise a letter or two won’t be deleted, but we may make an exception and I’d hardly consider 4-5 different letters flooding the inbox. However, I do highly suggest lowering your letter sending to no more than three a day to prevent deletion of your letters. The only time I’d say your letters are flooding the inbox is when you’re sending 10-20 of them, especially of the same letter, and we have to scroll down for a while to get to the next letter. We will only choose three out of that pile and delete the rest.

And yes, we do have a few that send us 10-20 of the same letter to multiple characters in the span of five minutes. Geez.

Co-Mod: Mod Paups has had to remain absent for personal reasons, and sadly, has recently communicated to me that she wishes to leave the blog entirely.  Thanks for all you’ve contributed to this blog, Mod Paups, and best of luck in whatever you do next!

(Referenced Letter)

Dear mungeondaster,

Mod Edgeworth: Since I answered this one, I shall answer your letter.

(^ Why do I always use this sprite? ^) Actually, the localization never specified if Manfred Von Karma was born in Germany or not. In fact, we never knew the German part until Justice For All when Franziska Von Karma was stated to have flown all the way from Germany. It never specifies any reason for this and fans were quick to jump to the conclusion that it means the Von Karma family were German, which… isn’t entirely true? Manfred Von Karma never said he lived in Germany and, for all we know, Franziska could’ve lived in Germany to study law or something.

Now, the OG does give us more specific detail on this, being why I answered this the way I did. In the OG, both Von Karma’s were born Japanese, but lived in America or at least have an estate there. It specified that they were originally born in Japan, which would be translated to LA, California in the localization. While using the OG canon isn’t normal here, I will use it, if the localization doesn’t specify things. In this case, it never specified if the Von Karma’s were born in Germany or if Manfred Von Karma lived in America. Since he had to wait out the Statue of Limitations for DL-6, we can assume he lived in LA for 15 years or more. That means he’s American.

I am still getting the hang of writing letters, but I try to stick to canon as much as possible. If you believe we’ve made an error in our letters, feel free to let us know, but also show proof, if we go against canon. We’ll be sure the letter is sent to the right mod or else fix it.

Dear  Bluedragoncody,

Mod Edgeworth: I... don’t know how to feel about that.

Also, I accidentally deleted your previous letter before this one when trying to post it on here. I’m so sorry about that. If you could remember it, would you send it again?

Co-Mod: I’ll just respond to this with an old classic:

Dear Aceattorneyismyjam,

Mod Edgeworth: I-I’m not a pro! I accidentally deleted an important mod question from bluedragoncody, because of my inexperience. Oof! Again, so sorry!

Granted, I am good with digital art and writing essays, but I’m still trying to get the hang of being a mod here. Believe me, I do get corrected on several mistakes I do here. I can’t really call myself a pro just yet. I’ve only just started becoming a mod here last month lol

Dear Dahlia,

Mod Edgeworth: I thank you for your support of this blog and my essay. Manfred Von Karma is also my favorite villain and someone I do feel is underestimated as a one dimensional villain. I think people hate him so much, because of how he ruined Miles Edgeworth’s life without looking at the bigger picture. They focus on the bad things with their black colored glasses without dissecting Manfred Von Karma’s character as a whole. 

One thing I love about this blog, even before becoming a mod, is that no one here ever portrayed Manfred Von Karma as the one dimensional villain. He can be snappy at times, but as proven in many of our previous letters, he’s also portrayed as being calm when threatened, polite at times and absolutely loves his wife and children. Yes, he’s a terrible person, but that’s what makes him so interesting. He’s a bad, evil person that does good things from time to time. It doesn’t justify any of his horrible deeds, murder included, but it does make him human.

Co-Mod: I’m...going to assume you’re a different Dahlia.  (I’m grabbing a Magatama of Parting just in case, though.  I’m sure you can understand.)

Anyway, thanks for being such a loyal follower!  This blog’s been through a lot of changes since it began, and since I joined it back in 2017, so I’m glad it’s still a good source of enjoyment for you.  I’ve seen all sorts of cringe by now, by the way (some of which I wrote myself), so don’t worry about it.

I’m also glad that the characters still sound like themselves and not like us.  The hilarious personalities and quirks given to them by Capcom’s writers, as well as the humanity in so many of them, make them easy to relate to, and thus fairly easy to mimic.  I may have said something like this before, but I see myself in a lot of them -- in Athena’s fear of inadequacy, in Apollo’s desire for justice in a world where it’s hard to find, in Sebastian’s confusion about where to go next after his world falls apart, and possibly even in the von Karmas’ desire for perfection.  I of course identify with their positive feelings as well -- Phoenix’s smugness when he gets things right, Athena’s joy after pulling off a victory in court, Adrian’s pride after her self-confidence is restored, etc. -- but there’s something about the struggles they face that make them easier to relate to, on top of being that much more awesome in the end.

Unfortunately, I can’t promise anything about this blog continuing on in perpetuity.  For one thing, I don’t plan on being around forever (I’m fairly certain the other Mods don’t, either), and for that matter, there’s also no telling how long Tumblr will be around.  All I can promise is that I’ll give my best while I’m here, and that the love from you and everyone else who shares it here is sure to be what keeps us going.  Thank you for your contribution!

Dear TurqouiseJavelin,

Mod Edgeworth: Hm... not bad ideas. Though, we mods choose our own mod names under the condition that it doesn’t match anyone else’s mod name.

Co-Mod: What Mod Edgeworth said.  Choosing the name “Mod Athena” may or may not increase your chances of being hired, though.  *wink, wink*

Dear Anonymous, 

Mod Edgeworth: Actually, Gregory was stated in the Autopsy to have died by a gunshot. However, you do bring up something interesting. If Gregory Edgeworth realized he was dead and last remembered Robert Hammond strangling him, he wouldn’t think “I died by the shot of a gun.” Since the Detectives weren’t aware that victim had died unconscious, they’d assume the victim would recall being shot and killed. This makes me wonder if Gregory Edgeworth was channeled, but never brought to court to be cross-examined.

There are still holes, but I do like your aspect on DL-6.

Co-Mod: Dang...  No matter how many times you come back to this game, there’s always something new to think about.  I honestly hadn’t considered those details about Yanni Yogi’s trial.  Your explanation makes the most sense to me, but there’s one other possibility regarding Gregory’s testimony -- he may have chosen to lie about who murdered him in order to protect his son from a murder charge.  That’s all open to interpretation, of course, so your guess is as good as ours.

It’s a good thing we’re not actual defense attorneys, huh?

-The Mods

[cluelesslesbian]

Check-In Tag✨

AKA a very long post about moi and this account bc I was tagged by the lovely @katelfiredemon <3

IF YOU SEE THIS, PRETEND I'M TAGGING U like this is completely optional (and long omg) so I don't wanna FORCE anyone to do it but asjhkl I think it's cute

1. why did you choose your url?

My og url was something dumb bc I only used tumblr to keep up with artists and writers I admired… this one is revamped to be ~relatable~ bc I wanted something that I felt comfortable adding on my art?? But ok-

clueless = because THERE’S TIMES THAT I’M A LIL SLOW TO GET A JOKE SDFHJKL

lesbian = bc I’m not out to my family but my sexuality is something I like about me,,, so I wanted to acknowledge it somewhere (and the anonymity of tumblr = ideal tbh)

2. any side blogs? if you have them: name them and why you have them

I made one like yesterday lol! It’s @blue-dragon-shin-ah and it’s for Akatsuki no Yona (an anime and manga I TOTALLY rec! It’s like a historical themed fantasy, comedy, romance WITH a found family trope it’s so good)

but ngl I have no clue how to keep track of more than 1 blog so it'll be a lot more inactive than this one asdhkl

3. how long you’ve been on tumblr?

hmm according to my tumblr account it’d be 2016 since that’s the oldest post I’ve kept (I deleted everything and revamped this acc in december 2020)

BUT I did the math and I would’ve made this account in middle school so around 2013-2014 lol I don’t think I used it much until voltron was booming in like 2016-2018.. Then I lowkey stopped… until now!

4. do you have a queue tag?

oof no

……...I probably should? like 90% of my blog is queued or scheduled… but ngl I barely remember to tag posts at ALL some nights so I probably won’t (rip if that’s annoying,, but I don’t make much og content so I figure anyone following me is chill with this lol)

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

In middle school?? To see funny posts and not be pressured into having an ~online presence~ tbh. That’s literally it lol

6. why did you choose your icon?

Matching with @lesbianklance rn! and keith's expressions r hilarious

Before I just,,, chose sokka bc I love that blue boi and the edit of him had a yellow bg that I LOVED (and matched with my pink theme)

7. why did you choose your header?

Matching with @lesbianklance rn! and klance sdjfhk

Before it was just a colour palette bc I wanted my blog to be my fav colour: PINK

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

My zukka art omg- like I did one that I put effort into which I KNOW is my top post (it’s got like 600 notes??? I still can’t believe it I love that!! 🥰)

BUT MY SECOND TOP IS A POST OF REALLY REALLY ROUGH SKETCHES OF THEM AND I LOWKEY CRINGE AT IT (it’s got like 500 notes.. And I’m like… y ?? I can DO BETTER 😭)

9. how many mutuals do you have?

…...listen I’ve literally never had mutuals until this year (minus my one irl.. I love u bitch!! but u know that bc we text on other platforms too)

idek am i supposed to be keeping track??? I just smile a lot when i see the darker-tinted notifs in my activity feed

10. how many followers do you have?

hmmmmmmm ok i lowkey don’t want to answer this bc my whole love for tumblr is that followers don’t matter? You could follow me today and unfollow tmrw bc i ship something you don’t and life moves on??? So yeah no answer here

11. how many people do you follow?

1807 babeyyyy

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

...wait define shitpost- technically any original post under #yeetidk might be a shitpost cause they’re all just?? my shitty rambles tbh???

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

Sometimes i’ve got the app open allll day long but other days?? I’ll go on like once in the morning or at night just to check my notifs and then that’s it

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

lmaoo bold of you to assume i interact with anyone enough to have a fight (AKA no)

If i did tho?? I’m the type to try and come to some middle ground before dropping the issue so idk- i’m more likely to lose bc i’m willing to （づ￣3￣）

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

Wish-granting/curse stuff: no.

Politics/Donation posts: depends! I try to only reblog posts like these that I know a bit about bc I don’t really wanna contribute to misinformation ykno?

I did start tagging these posts as #important but I’m not like?? gonna be mad at anyone for not reblogging political posts (also a heads-up if you wanted to block #important: I also tag some lgbt+ stuff under there so you’ll likely miss those too, not a huuuge loss but just an fyi yknow??)

16. do you like tag games?

asdfghjkl this is honestly the first tag game i’ve ever been part of so i have no opinion 😭 tho formatting this post has been a bitch asdhjkl I gotta get back to my homework when I'm finally done this

17. do you like ask games?

I've done a grand total of 1 and I felt so?? ashgjl awkward and bad for asking people to talk to me about myself- maybe if I do one that isn't about me I'll like it more

I do love sending other people anons to compliment them when they do these games tho 😌

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

....this requires me to pay attention to people I follow more than I have been so I literally have no idea??

19. do i have a crush on a mutual?

yes. the one readings this. love u, sweetheart 😘

/jokes

I don't?? usually get crushes? idek.. thought I was aromantic for a while bc of that lmaoo (but then I got a crush on someone irl and I was like "oooh ok so maybe im just gay then")

[karliesbuzzcut]

Okay, hi. I’m back from my expedition and I’m reporting back, as promised.

So, the Gaylor Subreddit has been gaining some popularity for quite some time. Which I’m honestly happy about since I always thought it was sad how deserted it used to be. When very rarely a brave new member would write a queer analysis, post it and then someone there would proceed to answer with a“yes, Taylor is gay and a liar and her face is puffy” — leaving everyone there a bit confused.

Now there’s a lot of activity and people actually seem to like Taylor. But as with any civilised society there needs to be rules.

Which doesn’t work great for PrettyAliens since she’s a proud TERF (or “turf” as she calls it🤷‍♀️), who’s predicting everyone will hate Taylor in 2022 for supporting Trans rights in 2019. Or something. To be honest, I’m not sure what she’s rambling about.

But she gives us her best material on her last posts. Messages which obviously were deleted (because again: ✨rules✨) after everyone else started looking at each other, wondering ‘who invited this person?’

PrettyAliens hasn’t been seen since then.

Moving on... yeah, PrettyAliens isn’t our only character this time around.

There’s a pinned post from a Mod introducing themselves and a new rule that goes something like “guys, let’s chill with all the body shaming going on here”. Which I think it’s fantastic but then again I’m a fucking snowflake.

Most people are okay with this but then Popparts — who in the past I’ve theorised she’s just one of PrettyAliens’ multiple personalities — writes a bloody essay on ‘why this is not okay’. I’ll spare you but it goes something like this:

“Body image is an integral part of Pop Music and if you don’t like it you shouldn’t be a Mod on a Taylor Swift board. You only have as much power as we want to give you”

Yes, it got very political — so much that she suddenly started going on about how the mod is silencing different cultures? Because Koreans don’t have any problems discussing Body Image? And something about Latin people being sarcastic? And as a Latina I feel identified with that statement but I don’t see how that’s relevant? Anyway I’m very confused so I’m just going to skip to the next part.

“What do you mean I can only speak positively about Taylor Swift’s body? What about MY rights? If you don’t like that talking about Taylor means talking about the way she looks, blame Madonna. It’s Madonna’s fault”

And that’s Popparts’ last relevant interaction.

Then, a new character comes in. Are you excited? I’m excited. This one is called CasuallyCruelHonesty which truly: great name. Really, ChefKiss of a name. But that’s my only compliment.

Anyway, CCH is also very angry about the new rules. What kind of dictatorship are we living in where I can’t say that Taylor Swift’s face looks puffy?

They went ballistic on the Mods. I’m talking “YOURE NOT MY REAL DAD” kind of tantrum.

Hey guys, are you still with me? Okay, good! Because CCH is about to make their grandiose exit. Ready?

In general, I just find it hilarious when people take silly matters on the internet so seriously. I mean, let’s all take a second to remember that these people are standing up for their ‘basic human right’ to call Taylor Swift “fat”.

Most of those comments were —of course— removed. Which led to this:

I’m sure most of you didn’t find that to be as funny as I did, but I freaking cackled because to me it read as that typical lousy comeback, e.g. “that looks like a parking lot” “your face looks like a parking lot”. Anyway, it’s funny OKAY? You just have to be inside my tiny curly head.

That would conclude the Gaylor Subreddit Saga for now...

But you know me, at that point I had to know more about CasuallyCruelHonesty. I’m just fascinated by people being so openly ~eccentric~ on the internet.

So I went into their profile and... they’re also a motherfucking TERF.

Serious question, here: WHERE ARE THEY ALL COMING FROM? Who forgot to close the Gate Of Hell on their way out?

Not only that, but just like PrettyAliens, Popparts and Rio211 before them: this person also feels really comfortable using the word “retard”,

Seriously guys, is it just me? Was I brought up inside a beautiful bubble? I honestly do not interact with anyone who uses that word these days. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe people around me know that if they say something stupid in front of me I’m going to write about it on my blog.

Whatever.

I wanted to leave on a high note, so here’s the best comment I found from them. I have no idea what they were replying to, nor do I care. All that’s important to me is that CasuallyCruelHonesty sat down and said to themselves “the fact that someone puts up with my bullshit on a daily basis is a great comeback”.

Apparently, they also take their mastubation lingo very seriously. I guess we all have matters we’re passionate about.

[hopeswriting]

Modern AU (Adult!)Arcobaleno on socials media though. While Flames and mafia are definitely still a thing.

Now I’m by no means well acquainted to all the different popular socials media, but here’s my humble take:

Reborn on Instagram.

He only has pictures of Leon first and foremost, with him in the background in one of his ridiculous but very well-made cosplay. Leon of course also wears the same cosplay as him.

He never shows his full face in any of the pictures, but just enough his followers know he’s handsome as fuck.

The artists/photoshoppers among them regularly put the pieces together to see how he could look like, but in a funny-and-obviously-purposefully-wrong way only.

Reborn loves them and saves them all.

------

Once in a blue moon he does post a picture of himself where you can see him clearly all dressed up and fancy, and then immediately deletes it.

But only after he’s sure it has been seen, so he can watch his followers lose their shit while drinking a nice espresso.

They try hard, but so far none of them managed to save any of the pictures before he deletes them.

------

Often there’s what suspiciously looks like blood stains on their clothes and straight up dead bodies lying in the background, but Reborn went so passive-aggressive with the few who dared to ask, everyone is too afraid to ask now.

Anyone who badmouths Leon in any way is instantly blocked. But only after Reborn ripped them a new one AND let his followers do it too.

*

Skull on Twitter and Snapchat.

He tweets the most random, out of nowhere, highly worrying things, that always sent his followers in a frenzy trying to figure out why the fuck he would think of any of this in the first place??

“aren’t you ever tried of your solid, rigid, restrictive bones? don’t you want to just be Luffy from One Piece, a rubber being that can shape themself in whatever way they wish?”

or:

“nobody ever tells you this, but the stress of picking apart melted leather from your burnt skin before it heals is VERY worth the adrenaline of making fire your BITCH”

or:

“is it REALLY illegal if you break in and eat the food but leave money behind??”

------

That’s just his Twitter only followers though.

The ones on Snapchat have the privilege to watch him stumble head first step by step to his tweets, and are actually very involved and active spectators that keep him out of jail, or killing himself, or killing someone else.

Skull, recording a video, halfway stuck in between two buildings: What’s up guys, there're these guys following me and trying to kill me, quick tell me what bones to break so I can fit in there.

see also:

Skull, riding his bike, both of them suspiciously wet, holding a lighter in his hand: You guys ready for this sick fire stunt I came up with?? If everything goes well I should only get second to third degree burns, let’s do this!!!

see also:

A picture of Skull lying on a roof, his arms full of snacks and his mouth stuffed with food, with police cars in the background, that says: send tips to make sure there’s always food in your fridge for when you need it the most. #midnightsnack #snitchesgetstitches #justsaying

see also:

A picture of Skull crouched in front of a body, posing, that says: don’t worry guys we’re just faking, but hypothetically, if you were to hide a body as quick as possible from here without being seen, what would you do? #hypotheticallyseriousanswersonly #hypotheticallythecopsaremaybeontheirway #quickanswersappreciated

*

Verde on Facebook.

He creates a public group with only him as member that’s basically his scientific diary.

It’s not really to invite intellectual challenging debates (though he’d be all for it if someone smart enough showed up), but he figures it’s in his best interest to make the world a less dumb place if he can.

It finds his public, though there’s only a few comments because god forbid you say something dumb or inaccurate and Verde fucking annihilates you in the comment section.

But like, in a teacher way. Like he’s genuinely trying to make you know better but he’s just ruthless at it lmao.

Verde uses a fake name and a fake everything so there’s quickly a running joke along the lines of “Imagine if it’s really the genius scientist Verde running the group and you just outed yourself as a flat earther lol”.

------

But what gets the group really popular is the in depth flames theory involving weather of all things they have to assume he came up with it all on his own because they can’t figure out to save their lives what the hell he’s talking about?

And it makes them question their sanity sometimes because Verde talks about it like it’s the most obvious thing and in the context of just about every basic aspects of life.

Cue the conspirators and their hot new take of “the aliens were among us all along and hid themselves as the WEATHER!!!” that instantly turns into the new popular meme.

That, and the transcripts posts of Verde trying his theories that nine out of ten apparently involves very unwilling participants whose life are threatened and sometimes they straight up DIE???

------

They think both of these is just him fucking with them and it’s all fictional. They want to think it is anyway.

They’re not so sure, but everyone is too afraid to ask.

*

Colonnello on Snapchat.

70% of his content is about Lal because this man is so in love and it’s like he’s a guest on his own account lol.

There’s the “Pining Hard” content where it’s just him trying to seduce Lal, to romance her and asking her out, and Lal brushing all of it off more often than not.

His followers are very invested in this “old bickering married couple type of best friends in oblivious mutual pining” real live action slow burn fic, and cheers him hard whenever Lal reciprocates the tiniest bit.

------

They don’t know the two are already together.

They think Lal brushing him off or flirting back but in an unmistakably joking/”platonic” way is just her being oblivious and not taking Colonnello seriously.

When she would just rather flirt back off camera because it’s her private life thank you very much.

Colonnello never tells them because he assumes they all know and just choose to be in on the joke.

Lal finds it hilarious whenever she goes through his Snapchat (with his permission of course) to find numerous messages of encouragement, so she never says either.

------

But one day she kind of just steals a kiss from him while he’s recording because she wanted to, and his followers lose their shit.

Lal laughs herself to tears and laughs for days.

------

The other Lal’s related content is the “Lal’s loving hours”, where he just takes pictures of her/records her doing random shit---whether it's her making a disaster out of the kitchen, or wearing three pairs of socks because her feet are cold, or beating the shit out of someone---and him doing heart eyes at the camera.

------

Otherwise it’s just him living his life and letting them in on what happens.

There’s a lot of pictures because he’s handsome and he knows it and he likes the compliments aqsdfghj.

Or videos of him going on and on about how energy drinks are really the best drink ever while doing grocery.

Or ranting videos about how bullets wounds are such a pain to deal with and showing himself patching himself up to show how it’s done (thanks??!!??).

Or him watching series and roasting the characters for their dumb decisions.

Or him commenting in real time an assassination attempt on him in the middle of the night in his own fucking home because the fucker sure is ballsy (????!!!!!!???).

It’s very popular too because of how relatable it is.

Well, most of the time anyway.

*

Viper on Youtube.

They have a DIY type of channel, mostly about fashion---what they think about the new products/clothes they bought from their favorite brand, their thoughts on the new fashion trend, their makeup/skin care routine and favorite outfits for various circumstances, or they’re often on live while going shopping.

(I just really like Fashionista!Viper okay.)

They play videos games too, thinking they’re being very good while being very average to not say they straight up suck asdfghj.

Occasionally do reaction videos too.

------

Like Reborn they hardly ever show their face. Actually they don’t show it at all lol. They wear masks to do their videos because a hood is not very reliable.

How do they do their makeup videos then you ask?

They use "volunteer" as models of course.

And by volunteers I mean the Varia qsdftgyhjkl.

------

They also have another very peculiar brand of videos that is the most popular one on their channel. The titles of these videos include but are not limited to:

“A Due Payment Of Yours Is Late? How To Hunt Them For Sport”

“A Little Bitch Doesn’t Respect Your Pronouns/Chosen Name? Step By Step On How To Make Them Shut The Fuck Up Forever”

“How To Efficiently Remove Blood And Various Others Human Residue From Your Clothes”

“Faking Your Death And Taking On A New Identity: Step By Step Tutorial”

“How To Take Over Your Friends Brains And Watch Them Prank Themselves ft. The Varia”

*

Fon on Tumblr.

His blog becomes known as a shitpost blog or a blog run by a bot when really, everything he posts is about actual, very real events that happened in his life.

Except he vague posts every time because he really wants to keep his anonymity.

He posts about the hardships of learning more and more martial arts and staying at the top of the art, and sounds like some dangerous psychopath.

“The body is such a fragile thing, isn’t it? It tends to break quite easily unfortunately. You’d think I’d know that by then, but I really need to remember it more often so I can keep enjoying myself.”

He’s talking about how he always pushes himself too much in training and ends up injuring himself.

“Everyday I dispose of them and reasserts my superiority, and everyday they come back and it’s really hard to not hurt them beyond repair.”

He’s talking about how he’s often challenged by other martial artists who don’t like him being the best and how he always has to beat them up bloody for them to give up.

He also posts about his family's live except it’s the Hibari’s family live, and he doesn’t sound more sane of mind at all.

“I made the mistake of taking Kyo with me on my grocery trip and picked on his tell-tale signs of going through a bad day too late.

But fortunately the shop is still standing and no one was heavily injured.”

or:

“It’s so heartwarming to see Kyo make friends. The brown haired kid didn’t put much of a fight but the one with the pineapple haircut has potential.

He almost managed to stab him that one time, and I can’t wait to tease Kyo about it. He’s very cute when annoyed and embarrassed.”

or:

“Often I look back to the day Kyo got his tonfa and I am always infinitely grateful for this not-so-easy-to-kill-with weapon.

I would like for him to at least finish high school first.”

Yeah it’s very often about Kyoya lmao. And no one knows for sure what in the world a “Kyo” is supposed to be???

An actual human being is NOT the most popular theory qsdfghn.

*

Lal on TikTok.

I guess?? I’m kind of running out of ideas lol, and I know very little about TikTok.

But I’m thinking she makes a series of videos where she looks straight into the camera like she’s on The Office while some bullshit or the other happens in the background.

And it’s not even always her friends or coworkers or Colonnello (yeah he has a category of his own lmao).

As far as she is concerned everyone who chooses to be a fucking dumbass in her vicinity is asking for it aqsdfghj.

------

Also has a “Doing paperwork” series, and the later at night she’s doing it, the more she’s absolutely fucking done with people not being able to do their job properly without collateral damage.

She dryly reads out loud the highlights of the reports and goes straight for their lives lol.

But as funny as it is, everyone is more interested in the very questionable out of context content of these reports???

------

Also does workout videos, as in she demonstrates how to do this one or other exercise, and if these do particularly well it has nothing to do with how people want to look respectfully at her body, of course not.

ALSO has a “Colonnello’s Loving Hours” series because you better believe this woman is also so much in love.

She records him when he’s simply existing---whether he’s snuggling besides her while they’re watching TV, or dancing in the kitchen while cooking, or cleaning his guns---while looking at the camera with this tender, content expression on her face.

*

They become known as the Weather Lovers because boy, do these people like to go on about their favorite weather. Some shipping might even be involved??

It’s how their community introduces them to each other.

Cue even more chaos on their respective socials medias.

Viper’s video of their first meeting is the most popular one on their channel.

*

Yeah I know, I didn’t add the Sky Arco ladies, but I have no idea what they could do. Pinterest maybe? Or Vine? Dunno, they’re all yours guys lol.

[rrrawrf-writes]

lordy lordy loo it’s been a hot minute since i’ve made an original post, i forgot where the button was

so. some of you may have seen the stuff running around about violetvineyard and mvcreates, some of you may not have. i’m just gonna lay out my experiences here, now that other people are talking about it and now that the server has been deleted. i’m gonna try to present a fair and nuanced version; i’m not gonna include screenshots (right now) bc i’m lazy, mostly.

there are several other people who are putting up way better breakdowns than i am. i just figured i might as well toss mine onto the pile bc why not? but if you’re hoping to hear from me a story about how i’ve been wronged, per se, you won’t find much of one, because i played mainly a spectator role, and never had much trouble there. i will have a vague, lukewarm defense of some of the people involved that other people may not agree with, but again, this is all just the whole VV deal from my point of view.

@nuwuhorizons (i haven’t said how dang much i lOVE your url) and @sapiencenotes have very good receipts and breakdowns. if you want a more in-depth (and dramatic, forgive me for using the word, i’m not trying to downplay this), check them out. @time-to-write-and-suffer also has some great stuff on their blog about all of this.

all righty. so. i joined VV not right at the beginning, but soon after it was started. there was an application process, i got accepted, i was looking for a community to help me start writing more. (it didn’t help, but that’s not their fault, that’s mine.) the person who owned the server was called mina, and on tumblr, mina’s url was mvcreates. mina is a nonbinary Muslim woman of color, a professional who i believe works at harvad and deals a lot with things like infectious diseases, iirc. she was doing a whole lot of work when the pandemic came around, and so the past few months wasn’t quite as active as she had been at the start, both on the server and tumblr. 

the very first time mina came on my radar, before i joined vv, was because she had corrected someone’s typo on a post, and it stirred up a minor drama about “don’t give unsolicited criticism” and “is pointing out minor errors like that okay” and blahblahblah. i ran across that on a friend’s dash, and also ran across the promo for vv from that friend’s dash, as well, and joined bc y not.

everything was p cool for a while. it was nice to meet some new people and some of my mutuals on there. mina seemed like a fun person. she was about a year, year and a half, maybe, older than i am. the first things that kind of started rubbing me wrong at the start was how she would kind of dismiss suggestions for the server than i and a friend had, and how she kept bringing up her age - she would often say things like “well i wouldn’t do that but i’m an Old(TM) so maybe i just don’t get it” and i can’t really explain why that bothered me. i think it felt dismissive, like Younger Folks Don’t Know How Things Should Work. also, like. she kept bringing it up. as if it meant something, as if plenty of us on that server weren’t actually around her age. there was a convo on vaccinations where i wanted to make the point that a lot of anti-vaxxers should be educated instead of ridiculed and shamed, but i never really got to making that point bc she jumped in very sharply and explained that anti-vaxxers all come from a class of people who are generally educated. i didn’t bother saying anything else. 

at the start, it was tiny little things like that. i chalked it up to her personality and mine just not quite matching up. i sat down a lot and examined my own internal biases, bc i knew something was bugging me, but i couldn’t tell if it was legitimate, or if i was jealous and petty, or if i was being discriminatory towards her identity. i still wonder that a lot; i want to be careful that i’m examining her actions here, and not the person who made those actions.

because the other thing that bothered me was that she was perfect at pretty much everything. she was a decent, if not good, writer, from what i read. i thought her “art”/edits were neat, even if sometimes i looked at them going “that just looks like an edit, not your own art, but u kno, edits are art too, so i’m not gonna say anything.” she had a lot of motivation, a lot of ambition. soon, this kind of transferred over into me feeling like she acted like she had to be perfect at everything. i think this is probably one of the more “lisa is just being petty” things, rather than a judgement on her character, but she seemed to flaunt her own skills and accomplishments a lot. not that no one is allowed to brag sometimes! but it was just another layer of “this bothers me.”

then there was the hero worship.

people in the server loved mina. i liked her. i had no problems with her, even if there were a few things i was a little “ehhhh” about. vv got pretty big, pretty quickly, and i assume there was a decent amount of turnover and people who just joined to lurk or sometimes share things in the promos channel or elsewhere. but the most active folks just. they adored mina with every fiber of their being. mina could do no wrong. no one ever called her out on anything; everything she did was hailed as fantastic and wonderful. and honestly, for the most part, it wasn’t like she was doing crappy stuff. some of the praise was well-deserved, imo, but it just bordered on embarrassing for some of these people, how much they just worshipped the ground she walked on.

and she didn’t really like, discourage it. like, at the start, i think i remember her being more modest, but in general, she just let it go, and so did i, bc like. i aint that kinda jerk.

the stated purpose of violetvineyard was to have a community that valued reciprocity. reciprocity was mina’s biggest thing. there was a channel for people to post their stuff on, so the rest of us could browse and read and reblog. i, admittedly, didn’t do as much of that as i wish i did, but part of it was because i do have a life outside of the internet, a memory and attention span the size of a gnat, and because like. 90% of the stuff that people put in the promos channel were things like edits, writeblr intros, wip intros, etc etc, when all i wanted was to just read some actual writing. but that’s neither here nor there. what got hilarious to me, though, was whenever mina’s fervent admirers would talk about how mina was, quote, a pillar of the community. how vv was doing something No Other Writeblr Group Had Done Before. how Important and Special this server was.

folks. i’ve been on here for several years now. we don’t have a community. we have a bunch of little cliques who reblog from their friends and complain about people not reblogging them. noah fence, but come on. vv got pretty dang big, but it was still a small corner of a small section of tumblr. like. sorry, all y’all, but them’s the breaks.

also, this was hilarious to me bc there are several big writeblrs who have been running around long before mina and vv showed up. yet, according to these people in the server, mina had Single-handedly Brought Hope To This Desolate Wasteland.

in the end, vv became just another little clique whose members reblogged from their friends. i don’t want to devalue the good that did come out of vv. a lot of the picture being painted rn was that the majority of the server were scary dog-piling people. the majority of the server were just writeblrs looking to promo their stuff and talk about their writing. unfortunately, few bad apples, bad rep, negatives outshine positives, etc etc. but i think it did do some good re: exposure for a few folks, even tho it didn’t turn into what it could have been. 

another one of the things that was a minor irritant to me was that they eventually started archiving the vent channel, which was probably the most-used channel. that didn’t sit right to me, but as always, i was a coward had nothing to say about it, so i didn’t. the reason given was that there were often things in the vent channel that people might regret being there, so it was periodically archived and a fresh channel started.

so i’m rambling a lot about stuff that’s probably boring and inconsequential. that’s 90% of this whole vv thing, tho, you need to understand that. 

the biggest thing that bothered me about mina, i think, came about from the constant hero worship from her adoring fans. and i know there’s a whole argument to be said about expecting labor from people with marginalized identities, which is an argument i agree with - don’t expect someone of a minority group to educate you or to face trauma or to shut down bigots, etc etc. but by now, mina had a lot of followers in general, and in specific, she had quite a few people who would defend her at every single perceived slight.

she made a lot of those fun writeblr reblog games, like “send me a fruit that says this about my writing.” those were cool, i’ll admit that. but she was super into “you have to send an ask to the person you reblog from, RECIPROCITY!!!!!!!!!!!” and seemed to struggle with the fact that sometimes, people don’t follow her established rules on her posts for these games. she’d complain about it every single time that happened in the vent channel, which, again, that’s fine? that’s what vents are for, it’s annoying to not get cool fun asks when you do these games, but also, that’s life for you. she could depend on her fans to send her plenty of asks, whereas the much smaller blogs who reblogged these games would probably get f-all, half the time. if you’ve gone through nuwuhorizons or one of the other blogs i mentioned earlier, you’ll have run across the incident where mina’s friends harrassed an 11 year old for not doing her ask game right.

an eleven year old. 

and this is my biggest grief with mina. she only stopped her friends from dogpiling people... once? maybe twice? that i remember. and not only that, but there were SEVERAL occasions where she would get on the vent channel, complain about someone who had said something wrong on one of her posts (and sometimes, again, these were legitimate!), and then ask if someone in the server wanted to reply to them. reasons for such ranged from “i’m too busy rn” to “they would probably listen more to a white person than me.”

again. this, on occasion, is not necessarily a bad thing. we cannot expect labor and response from minorities. my issue was that she kept doing this. and sometimes it was fine, just someone who would drop a note on the post or send a polite anon. but this, to me, the whole asking someone else to fight your battles for you? that really bothered me. mina is a grown adult. either ignore it, like the rest of us chumps, or deal with it yourself. having friends support you is not a bad thing - if i was attacked on tumblr and my friends jumped in to defend me, i’m cool with that. but i wouldn’t ask them to, and then not do anything myself.

to me, this attitude just encourages dogpiling. this felt like she was taking advantage of the people admiring her so whole-heartedly, and using them to deal with minor grievances. (again, i don’t want to downplay some of the actual racism and xenophobia she experienced on this website, because there was some pretty sketchy stuff that did need someone else stepping in to object to. but then there was “ugh this person asked me what program i use to make my music and i don’t want to answer them bc that’s rude,” and stuff of that caliber. like, mina, you built yourself a pretty big following here on tumblr, you don’t get to complain when people are trying to ask you questions and engage with you when you set yourself up as a knowledgeable person on a subject.)

i’m going to mention @gingerly-writing because she already made a post on the subject, but there was an instance where we were in the vent channel and watched a lot of mina’s friends send anons and reblogs of a hurtful nature to one person. eventually, ginger stepped in to say “hey, i don’t think we need to keep doing this, they are a minor,” and after she did so, i also jumped in, saying something along the lines of, “yeah, i’ve seen this kind of stuff blow up in another server and end in a really regrettable situation where no one was happy, can we stop.” both ginger and i received a private message from the mods (individually) saying that we shouldn’t police the chat, etc etc. not during that message, but on the vent channel, another mod jumped in to say that the people dogpiling the blogger were also minors. as if that makes it okay, and isn’t actually extremely worrying in its own right.

after that, i pretty much took a stance of “all right then i just won’t say anything at all.” i stuck around vv because i hated myself actually really liked a few of the others in the server, including a couple of the mods who are actually really cool people, not all the vv mods are sketch, and because honestly? i lowkey knew that vv was going to crash and burn sometime, and i wanted to be there to watch what happened. due to the pandemic, and her line of work, mina became less active, and the whole server died down a bit. 

then someone reblogged one of mina’s ‘art’ posts and accused her of tracing. mina’s admirers immediately jumped into action. nuwuhorizons has it pretty well documented on their blog. there was nothing in the server about it, except one of the others said “oh man i saw that and it pissed me off,” there was some minor chat, and then i woke up and wanted to know what had happened, and was told “don’t worry about it.”

so, naturally, bc the only thing i thirst for is water and Drama(TM), i went looking for it.

found it on some of mina’s friend’s blogs, where i found who had reblogged and said mina was tracing, and followed those reblog chains, where several of mina’s followers attacked the accuser and made fun of their name and age and defended mina, pulling out progress videos and stuff of mina’s work. the accuser was trans and still a teenager, even if technically an adult, so that made things a lot worse. mina eventually posted something explaining that she was pencil tracing and had a very cheery, false-positive tone to the whole thing.

things sorta ended at that, but then maybe the same day, or the day after, user hyba made that big ol post about the Big Scary Tumblr Mirror Website Copying All Your Good, Hard Work. mina and her friends jumped on this. they threw it in the server and talked about things like intellectual property rights and “i don’t like how this makes me feel :(” and from there, went in to how tumblr was a terrible garbage site and then mina and most of the mod team decided that it was time to pack up VV and leave tumblr completely. 

pretty much everyone i know were mina’s besties have vanished off tumblr. mina made an announcement that VV was “migrating” off tumblr and discord(???) and dropped another application to join the great vv migration. i did not apply bc i just have too freaking much going on in my life and needed to get out of this for the sake of my own mental health. it was tempting as hell, tho, i will say that. 

a couple things about this - at the time, mina is also having some pretty bad things going on in her family. she was very vague on the details, but i think that really contributed to wanting to leave; on top of the pandemic and everything else, she was probably heckin stressed. but also like. she never called out her followers for attacking her accuser. she never made any sort of post talking about it. she never told her friends on the server “hey don’t do that.” she never took accountability for it, or, honestly, for anything else she or her friends have done that didn’t feel too good. the mirror sites aren’t really a big deal. 

after the server was archived, it was left up a couple days so everyone could grab contact info, etc. during this time, i was checking the ‘violetvineyard’ tag and saw someone post “what happened to mvcreates they haven’t answered my application to vv,’ and i responded with “oh, the server closed down bc of the copy cat sites.”

the same day, i got a tumblr DM from one of the former mods asking me not to give away any details about vv leaving tumblr. it was very politely worded and everything, but it was still just like

okay? vv is over? why are you asking me not to say anything. and it wasn’t like i was even spilling any hot goss, i was just repeating the excuse (and i do mean excuse) mina gave us. 

anyway, that mod is off tumblr, too, as far as i know, or else they stealthin. which is fine, u do u, buddy.

uhh conclusion time, i guess? i have a few scattered screenshots of things, but i’m not posting em bc i’m lazy and also running late for a thing. but really, for me, i didn’t have a whole lot of beef with mina or pretty much any of the other folks on vv. i thought that mina and her friends were a bit too eager for blood, and that really bothered me. i’m annoyed they shut down vv completely, because it could actually have been something great. if mina wanted off writeblr, i wish she had given the whole network over to people interested in running it; instead, what was a good thing for a lot of people is now completely gone, with no existing framework for people to build on. sure, anyone can go make their own network/family for writeblr, but now it’s just going to splinter into a bunch of different, smaller groups, and we’re all back to square one.

but whatever. i didn’t get to see the server go down in flames, instead it just ended with a hasty retreat and a few whimpers, and quite honestly i wished my staying in had paid off.

i do want to reiterate - there were quite a few people in vv who i think are great, and this does include some of the mods themselves.

i’ve also gotten a couple messages from a few other folks who had been in vv who have their own real, real sketch stories, which are making me rethink how i feel about mina and her friends, and all the good credit i gave them. i just wanted to present this bc it’s my blog and i do what i want, fight me.

and if anyone wants to chat about vv, hit me up. i keep things as private as you want them to be, and i love love love talking about this nonsense. Give Me The Deets.

[mitchmarnier]

writing prompt masterlist #1

 Of course, there’s 75 million prompt lists out there but i figured there’s nothing wrong with making my own. Send me a category + a number + a pairing and i’ll write you a fic. Okay to reblog and use :) (x)

Fake/Secret/Etc Dating AUs:

my parents keep setting me up on blind dates but in reality I’m dating you and it’s so you help me get out of them

i hate commitment but my dad’s dying wish is to see me get married and you’re an old family friend i ran into at the airport on my way to visit him so hey let’s get engaged

you need a plus-one for your brother’s wedding so i’m going as a favor but there’s been a misunderstanding and now your whole family thinks we’re engaged

i’m mad at my parents so i ask you out because they wouldn’t approve of you and you’re well aware that i’m just using you but you agree because you find it funny but hey you’re actually super sweet

there’s this really creepy person hitting on me and i don’t know you but you pretending to be my partner completely saved my ass thanks how about i buy you a drink

we’re just really touchy friends and we get each other gifts all the time but everyone thinks we’re going out and we let them think that but why are you getting upset about me going on a date we’re not actually together? 

I’m sorry you always thought your love for me was unrequited but on to more important matters YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED IN THE MORNING SO YOU HAVE A DECISION TO MAKE YOU ASSHOLE!

Our mutual friend apparently has been waiting for us to get together and so they’re very angry/disappointed/upset when they find out that the reason we kissed last night was because we were black-out drunk

everyone thinks we hate each other and we keep that front up in public, so we have hilarious pretend fights and squabbles and pranks 

when we were little I accidentally mentioned that I had a crush on you but I always thought you didn’t hear me because you just looked at me weird and never commented but now we’re in high school and omg you just introduced me as your boyfriend/girlfriend/datemate wtf we never discussed this

friends to lovers aus

You’ve got a date tonight and you asked for advice on what to wear but I’m so in love with you and damn you look good in the outfit I picked out for you

You’ve liked me for ages and were really obvious about it and I didn’t like all the attention but now you’re over me I really miss it and fuck I think I like you too?

 You want us both to get in shape and I hate working out/running but your ass looks really good in shorts oh the things I do for my friends and their nice asses

Our best friends are that awful ‘cute’ couple that make-out in public and call each other “sweetie” and “sugar” and “babe” and god they’re awful let’s talk about how awful they are – develops into “shit we’re the awful couple now”

Celebrity/Famous AUs

listen, you may be a famous (and extremely attractive) guitarist, but that gives you no right to practise on the electric at two a.m when we live right next to each other.

We broke up and I used my feelings to write songs and now I’m super popular and you want me back

we decided to make a fake vlog drama for our subscribers and they all think it’s real but jokes on us we end up actually liking each other

I run a prank channel and you were some innocent bystander I pranked for a video but then it turns out hey, you’re also famous online haha shit

we met and started talking but i didn’t know you were a rising star until i noticed cameras following me wtf

you’re a reporter and i think you’re super cute so i’ll only give you personal interviews to help your career and also get you to talk to me more

I’m a celebrity and I have a secret social media account and we started talking online and now we’re close friends but you want to meet up oh shit

I’m a celebrity and I may or may not be following your blog which is dedicated to me. reading your comments and tags are hilarious and very flattering and I’m somewhat smitten  

You’re an actor/other famous person that I really admire and I just saw you in the street and as I was debating whether or not to say hi you came up to me and started flirting what do I do??

wedding/kids/marriage/long term relationship AUs

we’ve been dating forever, and you just caught the bouquet at our friend’s wedding

remember when we were in high school and we swore that if we were still single at 30 we’d marry each other, well hey guess whose birthday it is

i’m a runaway bride/groom and you’re driving my getaway car

I suddenly bumped into you after years and wow you look good but holy crap is that a kid?? since when?

you had a breakdown because the baby wouldn’t stop crying and you kept saying how you weren’t ready and how you couldn’t do it

whenever my kid starts crying I just hand them to you and then they just stop and start smiling

“i’m so sorry that my child pointed out how your shirt- actually nevermind i agree, that shirt is horrendous”

i always tease you because that’s just our thing we tease each other but for some reason you snapped at me and are you okay? what’s wrong?

my in-laws despise me GREAT but around you they’re super nice so you don’t believe me

neighbours AUs

You always complain about how loud I am (whether it be TV, video games or music/musical instrument is up to you) and this is the first time you’ve actually knocked on my apartment door and given me a lecture there rather than giving me a phone call, but I’m not really listening because I didn’t  realise I had such a cute neighbour

you never open your door for children on halloween so i always pay the kids to smear your door with shaving cream

my printer isnt printing anymore and my papers are due tomorrow so im on my knees in front of your door begging to use your printer when the old lady from above passes us and thinks im proposing to you

we always run into each other on the stairs but we’ve never said more than hello but when we found out that we both hate the other neighbours, we became friends

i came home drunk and wouldnt stop knocking on your door. when you open i keep telling you to get out of my apartment

after a rough party night i find you sleeping on the stairs but since im still a little asshole all i do is put a blanket over you and a pillow under your head

Please help me, I know you have a kid and my sibling just dropped their baby on me where’s the button to put them to sleep?

I’m stressed and sleep-deprived, please let me pet your cat. 

I have really weird dreams and you have really weird dreams so now we’re in this contest to see who has the weirdest dreams.

Strangers/Meet Cute (or meet very NOT cute) AUs 

We were sitting next to each other in a public place and I saw a mosquito on you and my instincts just acted before my mind.

We mixed up our clothes at the laundry service and I have nothing left to wear and every thing you wear is too big/small for me.

We’re at a comic book store and if you tell me your superhero is better than mine I’m gonna have to punch you in the teeth.

There are no table left at this restaurant and you let me sit at yours since you’re alone.

I’m a single grown-up with busy friends but I want to go to Disneyland so I drop a message on a forum to find someone like me to go wear silly Mickey ears headband and stuff ourselves with cotton candy.

My computer broke down so I called an IT and now I need to find a reason to call them back so I delete important files and download adwares and do all kinds of stupid things. 

I almost dropped something and in my fumbling attempts to stop it from hitting the floor I accidentally projectiled it at your face and it’s a really nice face I’m so sorry

first day at a new job and oh fuck my boss is the person I drunkenly hooked up with last weekend/night

I wanted to go on the ferris wheel but there has to be two people to a cart come on random person let’s go oh wait are we stuck at the top? Fuck

 Our mutual friend set us up on a blind date and I thought I’d hate it but you’re actually… kind of funny? But because I expected to hate it in no way am I going to let you change my mind just because you’re gorgeous and funny and intelligent oh no my friend is not winning this

college/high school AUs:

i went on a date with a boy who had plans to take me to dinner and drinks. but he lost his wallet at a pizza place so we just walked around the neighborhood, sat in the park and talked.

we’re in the same study group but we dont talk but you brought goldfish and im starving

we have the same notebook and we took the wrong ones home so i used your notes on my open book test

you were my elementary school crush but you moved away but somehow we end up miraculously going to the same college and i barely recognized you because holy hot damn you are more attractive than i remember?

I tripped over on my way to this party and I’m bleeding profusely from the grazes on my knees and you’re a complete stranger that pretty much jumped me the second I walked in the door to play nurse

ive had a crush on you for 3+ years and now youre going out with my best friend and i definitely havent locked myself in a toilet cubicle to cry

We’re in different debate classes and I was constructing a case on the board and I come in the next morning and you’ve replied to all my points really well?? But I don’t even know your name? And oh shit, we’re taking over the entire whiteboard, is that your phone number squeezed into the corner of the board there?

You have braces and I don’t and I keep forgetting you’re not allowed to have gum so every time I offer, you give this death glare

You sent me a text asking if I wanted to go to prom on the day of prom and I’m not in town

I’m a notorious goody two shoes and you look like you get into fights on a daily basis, so when you were in the library on the first day I was supposed to be a tutor, I assumed I’d be tutoring you. But, as it turns out, we’re both tutors, and the people we’re tutoring keep blowing us off to make out and we have to go round them up

we have a mutual best friend but they cannot find out how much i like you then they’ll tell you, but i need to find out if you’re single!

I sat down in the wrong class and I’m panicking but don’t want to get up and leave because the class has started and you think it’s hilarious 

You pissed me off in class so I threw a book at your head and now I’m in detention and jesus fuck I hate you so much and the teacher made me apologise and wait you’re cuter up close

soulmate aus

if one soulmate gets an injury, the other gets it as well.

Character A has a soulmate, but Character A died before they got to meet them. As Character A navigates the afterlife in their ghostly form, they discover that they can’t “move on” until they’ve met their soulmate.

 the very first words your soulmate ever says to you are tattooed somewhere on your body since the day you are born

when you write something on your skin with pen/marker/whatever, it will show up on your soul mates skin as well.

You get an ‘impression’ of your soulmate when you turn 18 or something but all I got was a strong smell of bananas or something

you have a compass on your wrist and it directs you to where your soulmate is

i usually think i’m having a conversation with myself in my head but it turns out we’re telepathically connected

everybody is born with a map “tattooed” on their forearm that’s centered on the exact location of where they’ll first meet their soul mate 

[medusanaut]

Live blogging for Reservoir Dogs after like 1 and a half years or something: (IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN DO NOT READ)

Freddy thinks he is acting so damn slick in Uncle Bob’s. He just looks uncomfortable as fuck.

The whole Tobey thing has always bothered me.

Pink is an asshole. TIP YOUR WAITERS! Larry has morals. I dig that he gets pissed at Pink about it and tells him how he’s fucked

GIVE FREDDY HIS DOLLAR BACK!

FREDDY NARCED ON PINK! He told about Pink not tipping.

K Billy’s Super Sounds of the Seventies *announcer voice*

Timmer of the Roth Though. I dig the old style credits. *chefs kiss*

OOHHHH here we go. The boy be whiny in the back seat. Sounds like he is about to get a cock in his ass but... oh wait XD

QUENTIN learn about accurate blood color and amounts. Please for the love of reservoirs. ArE YoU A DoCtOr?!

YOU’RE GONNA BE OKAY SAY THE GODDAMN WORDS!

Busts down the door of a mortuary (it is btw) holding onto a whiney bloody guy and then loosens his belt and talks to him like he’s a baby. This always looks like they are prepping to have sex... if there was no blood that is.

When Orange says he’s scared and asks to be held thoughhhhhh and Larry cradles him. OH MY GOD I just remembered that time I cranked up the volume super loud to figure out what he whispered and it’s nothing great.

The blood is the wrong color! Quinten needs to get schooled about this shit.

A set up??? A set up??? Really?? How... oh wait.

SHIT Tim moves his eyes and looks at Larry and away from him over and over when Pink is ranting about the cops (almost wrote COCKS XD). He’s worried that he knows.

Freddy is whining for Larry when he is left. 

Literally there are embalming tools and fluid in that bathroom. Subtle. Very subtle. CAUSE THAT AINT a bathroom that’s the main embalming room of that mortuary.

The way that Larry is trying to explain it makes it seem like he knows the truth but is just covering for Freddy. At the end I wonder if the reason why we get that cry is because Freddy announces it out loud and that’s when he knows he has given up.

The way Pink runs tho... hilarious.

WHEN Pink suggests that Freddy is the rat and Larry looses it... hmmm...

Push that woman man thing to long... how about man man thing?

Larry wants to take him to a hospital. But Larry is so conflicted.

Vic be slick.

((DAMN I’m pissed that I deleted my fan fics and have no record of them)) I thought they said ‘Nice guy Yeti”

Oh gosh... Nash. :_(

He tried to FuCk Me!

What’s scary is that Eddie’s clothing is becoming more and more acceptable now. No one should wear a light blue jacket like that except him.  POOORRRRRR NASSSSHHHHH

I GOTCHA doodoo doodoo doo

Larry “No he’s not dead” or at least not yet :_(

All I can think about is that Tim is prolly stuck to the floor right now.

That he started the goddamn chicago fire.. HELL YEAH FROM CHICAGO

I like the hearse that Vic is sitting on. Would drive as a regular human (who may or may not end up going to mortuary school).

Nash is thrashing and it’s so sad.

Vic’s dancing is pure torture in and of its self

What does it say over the arch way? something something head

Hurry up and shoot him Fred. Whatcha waitin’ for.

Every time I hear Stuck in The Middle I think of Grace and Frankie and so now I’m thinking about them being in the film... which ones would they be? Frankie would be White I think and Grace would be Joe...??

Wow... Freddy did overkill.

EWWW I just heard Tim peel himself off the floor

Listen to me Marvin Nash -- wow so formal.

Quentin again with the blood.

Why does the area around Nash’s head get blurry it’s so annoying

Freddy has had enough with Nash’s bullshit. Awwwwwwww he looks like such a geek... 

I love Holdaway. He’s a great friend and work pal to Freddy.

The commode story. I forgot about that!

Freddy’s apartment is great. Really great. Larry please help him with this shit. 

Larry is so blink-y in the bar... is he batting his eyelashes at Freddy? Also he wants to now more. He’s enamored with this guy. He’s practically got heart eyes.

EWWWW air blowers.. Those are nasty nasty nasty! and so fucking loud

For a second I thought Freddy’s phone was a taser. He’ll be right down... hmmmmmm hmmmm hmmmm hmmm.... oh and fool for love playing which isn’t a song from the 70s... someone named Larry has been in that apartment.

Is Freddy actually religious? Cause IDK I never headcanon him as being religious, but there’s a cross on the wall. Oh the bullshit ring and the mirror lecture. You’re super cool.

Gets in the car with Eddie, Pink, and Larry and Hooked on a Feeling starts.

Larry can we not use that word. It ain’t fucking cool or right. You know better.

Larry practicing with Freddy is so cute aww the whole sitting on my ass comment and then Larry laughs like ‘you’re ridiculous’. Let’s get a taco.

((Stopping for the night. Will resume tomorrow?))

[safflowerseason]

The OC rewatch - 2x09, The Ex-Factor

To the lovely and insightful anon who sent in the ask regarding my take on Ryan and Marissa’s fight in 2x09 -

I answered the post and put half of my response under a “Keep Reading” cut because it basically turned into a mini-essay and I wanted to preserve everyone’s timelines. But because this website has the clunky design of a junkyard car, the formatting got all messed up when I added tags to the ask post (@Tumblr - why can you not tag an ask post directly?!) and moved the cut to just below the original ask, hiding the whole response, at which point I got so frustrated I deleted the whole thing. 

Anyway, Anon, you noted that this fight in 2x09 really encapsulates Ryan and Marissa’s baggage as a couple, and is also one of the few moments in the show they are genuinely open about their issues. As any Veep fans who read this blog know…I adore breaking down a good explosive fight (and I love writing them, too). One of my proudest accomplishments on this website is my close-reading of Dan and Amy’s fight in Ep. 5.03. So I analyzed the hell out of this fight for you, because you’re right—it is a very important fight for Ryan and Marissa. I also included the make-up conversation they have after the argument as well, because it seems to me that the two moments are linked. 

First, a few opening comments. 

Thematically, this episode calls back to Ep. 1.13, The Best Chrismukkah Ever, which is the last time we have really seen Ryan and Marissa confronting this idea that the way she deals with the challenges of her life—drinking and other reckless behavior—bring up very real shit for him, emotionally (even if he is also subconsciously attracted to her because of it). This dimension of their relationship kind of gets swept under the rug for the rest of S1, with the Oliver and Theresa drama. But it’s back on full display here, since Marissa is (theoretically) supposed to have spent most of the first third of S2 on a low-grade bender. Note that Ryan refers to the “Dawn Atwood special” earlier when he’s speaking to a drunk Lindsay. This is a familiar trauma, watching over a drunk woman, and it brings out the worst in him.

I also find this argument noteworthy because it shows Ryan in his worst light, but not necessarily Marissa. Yeah, she knowingly let Lindsay drink too much, which is a pretty passive-aggressive move, but she’s distinctly not Lindsay’s babysitter. And when a drunken Lindsay (somehow) makes her way back to the club, Marissa and Alex start looking after her. It’s Ryan who goes off on Marissa with very little provocation, and it’s clearly more about his own issues than hers. I just think it’s significant that this fight occurs on a night Marissa is pretty well behaved, all things considered. Not to wave away Marissa’s substance abuse issues, which are serious, but this fight at least demonstrates that Ryan’s explosions of violent overprotectiveness would not necessarily be solved if Marissa suddenly stopped drinking tomorrow. Their issues with one another are more complicated than that.

Anyway, so here we are, in the backroom of the The Bait Shop that is mysteriously run by an emancipated minor (Alex Kelly). Lindsay is passed out on the couch; Marissa and Alex are tending to her.

Marissa: I can do that. Ryan: I think you've done enough. Marissa: Oh, ok, so this is the part where you blame it all on me? Ryan: You’re right, it was Lindsay's idea to pound straight vodka and pass out…feel good to see someone else mess up for a change?

Out of all the teenagers on the show, I don’t think we ever see Ryan drink? He clearly views binge drinking as a moral failing. This is understandable given his upbringing, but alcoholism is much more than a question of good vs. bad. (Although just to be clear…I do not think binge drinking is a good thing, especially for teenagers.)

Marissa: It was her idea! And, ok, so it got a little outta control b- Ryan: It always does with you! You spent all last year trying to drag me down with you, and now her? You wanna make a mess outta your own life, fine! You’re doing a pretty good job of it if you ask me.

Ryan uses the word “mess” twice in this sequence of dialogue, which is very telling. Even more than S1, in S2 we’ve seen Ryan truly trying to capitalize on the opportunity his relationship with the Cohens has brought him. The line “drag me down with you” is extra significant. In S1, Ryan was pretty willing to throw himself into Marissa’s life and try to solve all her problems, which he views as Marissa “dragging him down.” (Lol, remember when he blew off his entrance exam for Harvard to help Marissa escape from the hospital?) But this year, Ryan has done the opposite. He’s thrown himself into things not involving Marissa, namely his schoolwork, and he clearly sees his relationship with Lindsay, studious and innocent, as part of that new direction. As a result, Marissa’s “mess” has become even more of a risk to his future.

But at the same time, Ryan is so afraid that Marissa is going to destroy her life in some way, and therefore his life. As you said, Anon, he’s conflicted about her place in his life because of the potential danger of her actions, even as he’s drawn to her beauty and vulnerability otherwise. So, he goes after her in a way that is pretty unjustified in this particular moment.

Alex: No one asked you! Ryan: (aggressively) What did you say?! Seth: Hey, Ryan, let’s…let’s go. Ryan: No, I'm not leaving her here. Alex: I’ll take care of her—you go.

As an episode that begins to set up Marissa’s relationship with Alex, this episode doesn’t do a bad job. Alex, as the one person in Marissa’s life who actually defends her, must come as an incredible relief.

And now we’re in Alex’s apartment, where Ryan has come to apologize.

Ryan: Look, I don't know…I…I guess I was hoping this could be easy...for you and me to stay friends…for you and Lindsay to be friends. Marissa: (skeptical) And have us all live happily ever after? Ryan: (sheepish) Yeah, something like that. Marissa: I know it seems like a million years ago we dated, but it wasn’t. Ryan: I know that. Marissa: And ok, maybe you're over it, maybe it doesn't mean anything to you anymore…maybe it never did...but it meant a lot to me. You meant a lot to me...still do.

I think Barton is actually decent in this scene. She doesn’t overplay Marissa’s confession. She’s very quiet and matter-of-fact, and it makes her words all the more devastating. Meanwhile, the camera cuts to Ryan’s face throughout this line, and Ben Mckenzie makes a series of expressions that make it pretty clear that Ryan has been pretty actively not thinking about his and Marissa’s relationship, because it’s just too much.

Ryan: ...it's not like that I...I don't know what it’s like… And…thinking you and Lindsay should be friends was a bad idea. Marissa: Why? I like her. And if you do the math, she's my step sister, so… Ryan: …I guess. (Mckenzie is unintentionally hilarious with this delivery.) (pause) Marissa: Look, clearly, it's gonna be strange for us for a while. Ryan: Yeah I know, you’re right. (pause, turns for the door) I’m sorry. That's what I came here to say. Marissa: I’m sorry too.

The way BM delivers that last line, genuinely heartfelt, the emphasis on the word “sorry”…it's really Ryan apologizing for his departure at the end of S1 and the manner of his return. He left abruptly, he came back abruptly, they never talked about any of it, and he and Marissa basically stopped speaking after the (contrived) DJ reveal. They never had a chance to clear the air, and it’s not like they broke up because they stopped having feelings for one other...all their joint pain over what happened has just been festering.

So, Anon, that’s my take on this great fight. Thanks so much for sending in the ask!