#but no one would care bcause VALIDATION

[mall0wsszands]

within those 5 months, there was a decision i had to make. an unexpected situation wherein i wasn't supposed to do it and the guilt keeps beating myself up over it. i wasn't over it and i think i will never be over it. i was wrong, we were both wrong. we weren't both ready for that responsibility. and i am blaming myself for what happened. it was a hard decision to make, it wasn't easy, it wasn't that easy even though i knew that i didn't want it yet. i didn't want that to happen, but i was at fault. i was the one to blame, we were both at fault but i was too hard on myself. and i don't think i will ever forgive myself for what happened.

i don't think my reason was justifiable and valid bcause putangina hahahhaha walang kwenta ang lalaki. i was and still self-blaming, thinking i should be the one who stopped it from happening. i didn't know what to do, i was nervous when i found out. and the only thing that matters to me was you. yes, i thought abt you.. i was thinking abt you.. what would our lives be if i hadn't done this? will we be able to survive? but it turns it, he didn't want it. the moment he asked me to get rid of you, i agreed bc i was scared. i was scared for us. i was scared for you, what life will i be able to give you? i didn't know what to do, to survive and to take care of you. i know it sounds awful, i know, it angers me too.. i am still angry to myself for what i did. i suffered alone, mentally and physically. emotionally, ate was there to support me. i was crying the whole time it happened, from all of the pain. physically and emotionally. i was staying at ate's during the process. i couldn't eat nor stand. i couldn't drink another tabs since i was at pain already, and the pain won't stop.. i can't even walk or tell ate that i need pads again. i was wearing a diaper.. and every time i bleed, idk what to do but to cry. crying my heart out won't change a thing, but i still cry. ate and kuya were there for me. they were there for me as if i'm their child. they took care of me when i can't even feed myself.. idk if i should feel thankful that during those phase, i didn't get to think abt my acads since there's an event. ate kept on telling me that it was a choice i had to make and assured me that it isn't my fault, but i couldn't just accept it. and i've come to realize that.. maybe my body was responsing but not myself. my body agrees that i should continue, but my mind says the opposite.. it was hard. at least for me.. idk with him. idk if he feels the guilt, the never-ending 'questioning myself' every night. every single day wasn't worth to survive bc i thought of it.. and before things happened, he did talk to me and clear things out.. and turns out he didn't change his mind, i got angry and bawled to him in that saturday night. he didn't even stop me, hshwhhw fuvk you tnginamo. i was afraid again, unwanting this within me. i ran to my bff's house and decided to drink alcohol. i missed soju that's what i thought, i didn't think abt you. but the moment i was holding the glass that filled with alcohol, i backed out. i knew and was aware that i had you. but still, why did i get rid of you.. why did i do that?

as days went by, physically i was recovering but mentally, i wasn't. up until this day. i'm still in the process of telling myself that what i did was for our own good.. or was it for my own good? idk really, idk what to tell or even what i feel is valid..

can you hold onto me? take all of my worries away.. please?

[hopeswriting]

Modern AU (Adult!)Arcobaleno on socials media though. While Flames and mafia are definitely still a thing.

Now I’m by no means well acquainted to all the different popular socials media, but here’s my humble take:

Reborn on Instagram.

He only has pictures of Leon first and foremost, with him in the background in one of his ridiculous but very well-made cosplay. Leon of course also wears the same cosplay as him.

He never shows his full face in any of the pictures, but just enough his followers know he’s handsome as fuck.

The artists/photoshoppers among them regularly put the pieces together to see how he could look like, but in a funny-and-obviously-purposefully-wrong way only.

Reborn loves them and saves them all.

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Once in a blue moon he does post a picture of himself where you can see him clearly all dressed up and fancy, and then immediately deletes it.

But only after he’s sure it has been seen, so he can watch his followers lose their shit while drinking a nice espresso.

They try hard, but so far none of them managed to save any of the pictures before he deletes them.

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Often there’s what suspiciously looks like blood stains on their clothes and straight up dead bodies lying in the background, but Reborn went so passive-aggressive with the few who dared to ask, everyone is too afraid to ask now.

Anyone who badmouths Leon in any way is instantly blocked. But only after Reborn ripped them a new one AND let his followers do it too.

*

Skull on Twitter and Snapchat.

He tweets the most random, out of nowhere, highly worrying things, that always sent his followers in a frenzy trying to figure out why the fuck he would think of any of this in the first place??

“aren’t you ever tried of your solid, rigid, restrictive bones? don’t you want to just be Luffy from One Piece, a rubber being that can shape themself in whatever way they wish?”

or:

“nobody ever tells you this, but the stress of picking apart melted leather from your burnt skin before it heals is VERY worth the adrenaline of making fire your BITCH”

or:

“is it REALLY illegal if you break in and eat the food but leave money behind??”

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That’s just his Twitter only followers though.

The ones on Snapchat have the privilege to watch him stumble head first step by step to his tweets, and are actually very involved and active spectators that keep him out of jail, or killing himself, or killing someone else.

Skull, recording a video, halfway stuck in between two buildings: What’s up guys, there're these guys following me and trying to kill me, quick tell me what bones to break so I can fit in there.

see also:

Skull, riding his bike, both of them suspiciously wet, holding a lighter in his hand: You guys ready for this sick fire stunt I came up with?? If everything goes well I should only get second to third degree burns, let’s do this!!!

see also:

A picture of Skull lying on a roof, his arms full of snacks and his mouth stuffed with food, with police cars in the background, that says: send tips to make sure there’s always food in your fridge for when you need it the most. #midnightsnack #snitchesgetstitches #justsaying

see also:

A picture of Skull crouched in front of a body, posing, that says: don’t worry guys we’re just faking, but hypothetically, if you were to hide a body as quick as possible from here without being seen, what would you do? #hypotheticallyseriousanswersonly #hypotheticallythecopsaremaybeontheirway #quickanswersappreciated

*

Verde on Facebook.

He creates a public group with only him as member that’s basically his scientific diary.

It’s not really to invite intellectual challenging debates (though he’d be all for it if someone smart enough showed up), but he figures it’s in his best interest to make the world a less dumb place if he can.

It finds his public, though there’s only a few comments because god forbid you say something dumb or inaccurate and Verde fucking annihilates you in the comment section.

But like, in a teacher way. Like he’s genuinely trying to make you know better but he’s just ruthless at it lmao.

Verde uses a fake name and a fake everything so there’s quickly a running joke along the lines of “Imagine if it’s really the genius scientist Verde running the group and you just outed yourself as a flat earther lol”.

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But what gets the group really popular is the in depth flames theory involving weather of all things they have to assume he came up with it all on his own because they can’t figure out to save their lives what the hell he’s talking about?

And it makes them question their sanity sometimes because Verde talks about it like it’s the most obvious thing and in the context of just about every basic aspects of life.

Cue the conspirators and their hot new take of “the aliens were among us all along and hid themselves as the WEATHER!!!” that instantly turns into the new popular meme.

That, and the transcripts posts of Verde trying his theories that nine out of ten apparently involves very unwilling participants whose life are threatened and sometimes they straight up DIE???

------

They think both of these is just him fucking with them and it’s all fictional. They want to think it is anyway.

They’re not so sure, but everyone is too afraid to ask.

*

Colonnello on Snapchat.

70% of his content is about Lal because this man is so in love and it’s like he’s a guest on his own account lol.

There’s the “Pining Hard” content where it’s just him trying to seduce Lal, to romance her and asking her out, and Lal brushing all of it off more often than not.

His followers are very invested in this “old bickering married couple type of best friends in oblivious mutual pining” real live action slow burn fic, and cheers him hard whenever Lal reciprocates the tiniest bit.

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They don’t know the two are already together.

They think Lal brushing him off or flirting back but in an unmistakably joking/”platonic” way is just her being oblivious and not taking Colonnello seriously.

When she would just rather flirt back off camera because it’s her private life thank you very much.

Colonnello never tells them because he assumes they all know and just choose to be in on the joke.

Lal finds it hilarious whenever she goes through his Snapchat (with his permission of course) to find numerous messages of encouragement, so she never says either.

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But one day she kind of just steals a kiss from him while he’s recording because she wanted to, and his followers lose their shit.

Lal laughs herself to tears and laughs for days.

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The other Lal’s related content is the “Lal’s loving hours”, where he just takes pictures of her/records her doing random shit---whether it's her making a disaster out of the kitchen, or wearing three pairs of socks because her feet are cold, or beating the shit out of someone---and him doing heart eyes at the camera.

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Otherwise it’s just him living his life and letting them in on what happens.

There’s a lot of pictures because he’s handsome and he knows it and he likes the compliments aqsdfghj.

Or videos of him going on and on about how energy drinks are really the best drink ever while doing grocery.

Or ranting videos about how bullets wounds are such a pain to deal with and showing himself patching himself up to show how it’s done (thanks??!!??).

Or him watching series and roasting the characters for their dumb decisions.

Or him commenting in real time an assassination attempt on him in the middle of the night in his own fucking home because the fucker sure is ballsy (????!!!!!!???).

It’s very popular too because of how relatable it is.

Well, most of the time anyway.

*

Viper on Youtube.

They have a DIY type of channel, mostly about fashion---what they think about the new products/clothes they bought from their favorite brand, their thoughts on the new fashion trend, their makeup/skin care routine and favorite outfits for various circumstances, or they’re often on live while going shopping.

(I just really like Fashionista!Viper okay.)

They play videos games too, thinking they’re being very good while being very average to not say they straight up suck asdfghj.

Occasionally do reaction videos too.

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Like Reborn they hardly ever show their face. Actually they don’t show it at all lol. They wear masks to do their videos because a hood is not very reliable.

How do they do their makeup videos then you ask?

They use "volunteer" as models of course.

And by volunteers I mean the Varia qsdftgyhjkl.

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They also have another very peculiar brand of videos that is the most popular one on their channel. The titles of these videos include but are not limited to:

“A Due Payment Of Yours Is Late? How To Hunt Them For Sport”

“A Little Bitch Doesn’t Respect Your Pronouns/Chosen Name? Step By Step On How To Make Them Shut The Fuck Up Forever”

“How To Efficiently Remove Blood And Various Others Human Residue From Your Clothes”

“Faking Your Death And Taking On A New Identity: Step By Step Tutorial”

“How To Take Over Your Friends Brains And Watch Them Prank Themselves ft. The Varia”

*

Fon on Tumblr.

His blog becomes known as a shitpost blog or a blog run by a bot when really, everything he posts is about actual, very real events that happened in his life.

Except he vague posts every time because he really wants to keep his anonymity.

He posts about the hardships of learning more and more martial arts and staying at the top of the art, and sounds like some dangerous psychopath.

“The body is such a fragile thing, isn’t it? It tends to break quite easily unfortunately. You’d think I’d know that by then, but I really need to remember it more often so I can keep enjoying myself.”

He’s talking about how he always pushes himself too much in training and ends up injuring himself.

“Everyday I dispose of them and reasserts my superiority, and everyday they come back and it’s really hard to not hurt them beyond repair.”

He’s talking about how he’s often challenged by other martial artists who don’t like him being the best and how he always has to beat them up bloody for them to give up.

He also posts about his family's live except it’s the Hibari’s family live, and he doesn’t sound more sane of mind at all.

“I made the mistake of taking Kyo with me on my grocery trip and picked on his tell-tale signs of going through a bad day too late.

But fortunately the shop is still standing and no one was heavily injured.”

or:

“It’s so heartwarming to see Kyo make friends. The brown haired kid didn’t put much of a fight but the one with the pineapple haircut has potential.

He almost managed to stab him that one time, and I can’t wait to tease Kyo about it. He’s very cute when annoyed and embarrassed.”

or:

“Often I look back to the day Kyo got his tonfa and I am always infinitely grateful for this not-so-easy-to-kill-with weapon.

I would like for him to at least finish high school first.”

Yeah it’s very often about Kyoya lmao. And no one knows for sure what in the world a “Kyo” is supposed to be???

An actual human being is NOT the most popular theory qsdfghn.

*

Lal on TikTok.

I guess?? I’m kind of running out of ideas lol, and I know very little about TikTok.

But I’m thinking she makes a series of videos where she looks straight into the camera like she’s on The Office while some bullshit or the other happens in the background.

And it’s not even always her friends or coworkers or Colonnello (yeah he has a category of his own lmao).

As far as she is concerned everyone who chooses to be a fucking dumbass in her vicinity is asking for it aqsdfghj.

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Also has a “Doing paperwork” series, and the later at night she’s doing it, the more she’s absolutely fucking done with people not being able to do their job properly without collateral damage.

She dryly reads out loud the highlights of the reports and goes straight for their lives lol.

But as funny as it is, everyone is more interested in the very questionable out of context content of these reports???

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Also does workout videos, as in she demonstrates how to do this one or other exercise, and if these do particularly well it has nothing to do with how people want to look respectfully at her body, of course not.

ALSO has a “Colonnello’s Loving Hours” series because you better believe this woman is also so much in love.

She records him when he’s simply existing---whether he’s snuggling besides her while they’re watching TV, or dancing in the kitchen while cooking, or cleaning his guns---while looking at the camera with this tender, content expression on her face.

*

They become known as the Weather Lovers because boy, do these people like to go on about their favorite weather. Some shipping might even be involved??

It’s how their community introduces them to each other.

Cue even more chaos on their respective socials medias.

Viper’s video of their first meeting is the most popular one on their channel.

*

Yeah I know, I didn’t add the Sky Arco ladies, but I have no idea what they could do. Pinterest maybe? Or Vine? Dunno, they’re all yours guys lol.

[inbarfink]

I believe Greg’s claims that his family situation was horrible. When a grown-up man feels like he has no other choice but to run away from his family (remember, Greg was, like, 20 when he left) and then has absolutely nothing good to say about them for years and years later - that’s an indictment of the parents, not the son. They forced him into activities that had nothing to do with his actual intersts (including wrestling which can be... very unpleasant when you’re not into it), and absolutely forbade him from anything associated with the thing he actually LIKED, music. They didn’t allow him to dress and look the way he wanted and not in a “I am not letting my toddler wear the same shirt for 20 days in a row way’, in a “your son is 18 and you are still forcing him to cut his hair the way YOU want it to look”. That’s bad, that’s really bad. Greg wasn’t just sick of a ‘boring, mundane life on the suburbs with too much meatloaf’, he was suffocated in a toxic household.

And I understand why Greg was upset and defensive when Steven started with his ‘maybe your parents had a point’ thing. It must hurt to hear your son, the only family you really have in this world, defend the family you ran away from. Steven’s not thinking totally straight, he accuses Greg of keeping him away from his grandparents but he saw the stacks of unopened letters - implying that Greg has TRIED to keep in contact with them but the DeMayos were the one who refused. He’s focusing on the image of normalcy and humanity that the DeMayos house represents, on school and friends and graduations and home-cooking and adorable spoon collections - and not on Greg feeling they could never accept him and that he had to hide his most treasured possessions from his parents.

But ALSO Greg should apologize to Steven and work to be a better parent. Steven wouldn’t have been happier under an upbringing as strict and overcontrolling as the DeMayos. But Greg’s only two options weren’t “toxic overbearing ‘normalcy’” and ‘living in a van and never going to school’ - he is at fault for going into the absolute extreme opposite of his own upbringing and prehaps of projecting his own desires over Steven’s needs. Steven has told him, quite clearly, that he is upset about growing up without a stable roof over his head, about missing out on school (which both an opportunity for his future and a chance to expand his peer group and make a lot more friends), about never going to a doctor’s (nobody could guess what effect Rose’s healing powers could have on Steven’s body! Steven really lucked out that he didn’t NEED to go to the Doc for most issues, but nobody could have guessed it!) and Greg’s response was just “Yeah, but what I had was worse!”. I understand why Greg’s instincts were to go on the defensive but he is the adult and the dad and Steven is his teenage son it’s Literally His Job to be the bigger person in the argument.

And just as I consider Greg’s seemingly 100% negative feelings about the DeMayos indictment enough that they were shitty parents, then I find Steven’s mixed feelings about Greg as an indictment that Greg’s parenting has been flawed. Steven is currently a very messed up teenager, and Greg is his dad; Steven’s healthy development and happiness is his responsibility! I understand why Greg Turned Up the Way That He Did considering his background, but he is at the very least complicit in many of the Shit That Fucked Steven’s Mental State to the point that it is today. Even if I accept the idea that Steven HAD to live off-the-grid due to being a Gem (and I don’t necessarily. Yeah, his mother is a Space Alien, but his dad is a US citizen and he was born on US soil, he can have a fucking Social Security Number), Greg could have... like... tried to find some sort of structured non-Gem activity that Steven might be intersted in (we’re not going Full DeMayo here) like an afterschool class or something to give Steven a chance to develop his nonmagical skills and bond with more children his age. Which would have lowered the amount of time Steven was stuck alone in the Beach House just waiting for the Gems to come back and allowed him to develop his interpersonal skills and create a bigger support network for himself... these are things that could have really helped Steven in the long-run!

Steven opened up to Greg about his issues (and we know how hard it is to Steven to actually open up!), and what Greg ended up offering to him was more about Greg than about Steven. The message of the “Mr. Universe” song is “you can be free! You can be anything!” and that was clearly so meaningful and touching to young Gregory DeMayo, but it is the exact opposite of what Steven Universe wanted and asked for - some sort of direction and stabillity. And it’s... not the worst mistake in the world for a parent to make, to try and give your kids what YOU want rather than what THEY want, especially when you are dealing with such a complex problem as Steven has. But when you realize the You solution isn’t working... you have to process that it’s not working because they are not You and they require a change is perspective and maaaaaybe they might feel a little hurt that you were projecting on them and might want an apology or at least an acknowledgement that that’s what you were doing and that you’re going to Not Do It now?

If you are a parent and you have a child who is as messed-up as Steven is right now, that is kinda your responsibility bcause your child is your responsibility. If you have a child that is mad at you, you should at least have the self-awareness to think about what you might have done wrong. If your child literally shouts at you something that basically means “the source of all of my problems is the fact that I am your son”, then... that at least requires some self-reflection. Steven said stuff that was Dumb and Wrong and Hurtful things in this car argument, that’s true. He WOULDN’T have been happy under the thumb of parents like the DeMayos, Greg probably was justified in cutting them off, it’s not his dad’s fault that he never meant his grandparents. But inside these dumb and hurtful things there is a kernel of real frustration and hurt. And instead of acknowledging that frustration; Showing some sort of regret for not being able to give Steven a more stable and ‘normal’ home life that he now desires, promising to do better in the future, even just a “sorry I messed up, I didn’t mean to mess you up”... Greg just acts like he ignores it completely.

If your child has an outburst that they was clearly ashamed of and was clearly Pretty Unhealthy, you can’t just say “I’m proud of you, you called me out on my bullshit. And if you do, you can at least, like... acknowledge that things you were called on in any way???? Rather than just make it about yourself and YOUR upbringing and how it was much worse, which... even if ya don’t mean it, comes off as just you ‘proving’ that your parenting style IS right, because, hey! You can tell me anything! While meanwhile your kid is processing that no, he can’t tell you anything, because you are not actually doing anything useful for me right now. When your child tells you that your parenting style was bad and harmful to them, you should not immediately go into the same old routines you always do right after that???

I fear that the whole experience might have made Steven’s question Greg’s love for him, that maybe now he sees Greg’s kind and accepting nature as insincere and just as an attempt to overcompensate for his own issues. Is Greg really proud of him or does he just say it because that’s what he’s ‘supposed’ to say? But I have no doubt that Greg loves and cares for Steven a whole lot and that he raised Steven the way that he did because he thought that was the best option possible and that... the whole situation is just hard for him. Steven is dealing with a lot of issues that he never outwardly displayed to his parental figures before and it’s hard for them to adjust and to know what the right solution is. And it’s just plain easier to try and fall into your regular parenting techniques that always seemed to work before (like giving your child more ice cream and telling them their emotions are valid), rather than try and totally dismantle your approach to parenting in one evening.

It’s important to remember that Greg’s probably not in the best place right now either. Just because I think it is Greg’s responsibility as the Dad to be the bigger person in the argument and see what part of Steven’s complaints are valid... doesn’t mean it’s not also a hard thing to do when he’s also bringing up memories of Greg’s abusive childhood and saying his parents might not be all that bad. That’s gotta make it hard for Greg to think rationally about Steven’s words. And that’s not factoring in the supernatural element in which Steven’s trauma gives him Scary Dangerous Powers and Greg is the squishest, most fragile part of Steven’s family.

But it’s still Greg’s responsibility to make Steven happy and healthy,  and on that day, on “Mr. Universe”, he messed that up. And I believe Steven when he says that he messed that up before too. Greg’s not a bad person, but... an apology for the missteps of parenthood is what Steven needed at that moment and what Steven was hoping for, and Greg’s inabillity to deliever it was what caused the rift in their relationship most of all. I mean... The show literally spells that Steven needs to hear some sort of ‘I’m sorry’, not just from Greg, but from all of his parental figures! Remember how “Prickly Pair” ended???

Cactus Steven is a metaphor for Meat Steven, for Cactus Steven to find peace he had to hear Meat Steven acknowledge that he hasn’t been the best parent and that he’s sorry. And it’s no coincedence that Steven has very rarely heard his parental figures apologize to him and that it has yet to happen in SUF, my prediction is that it’s gonna play some sort of part in the finale and with Steven fixing his relationship with Greg and the CGs.

[kittyxjordelia]

Details for that kitty au? Sounds interesting

aww thx im glad u think so but get ready for dissapointment and garbage storyteling bc i got way too distracted way too quickly.

THIS IS FOR EVERYONE WHO WANTED MORE DEETS ON THE RED WHITE AND ROYAL BLUE AU (this is largely based on the book but nothing hugely spoilery)

Also reminder: yo my inbox is always open so if u wanna ask me the most random shit possible i will respond bc it makes me feel happy that someone is curious about my opinions and ideas

The Blackthorn’s mom is the pres, not their dad

Julian, Livvy, Ty, Dru, and Tavvy are the first children, mark and helen arent

So as Helen and Mark have no relation to POTUS, theyre less involved w/ the public

(Bonus: people think Kiertina are dating but they got NO IDEA Mark is the third part of that)

Both of their parents are pretty busy so Julian’s kinda raising them a bit but not to a terrible extent

Julian may or may not be dating the vice president’s daughter, emma carstairs

In the UK, christopher herondale is a prince and i dont care if ty matches henry better and kit is more of an alex

i literally thought of this au bc i was reading the scene where henry kisses alex and then runs away and i outloud said “wow christopher herondale is quaking”

so im not budging kit is henry w/ alex’s personality and ty is alex w/ henry’s personality got it good great

In all seriousness i just like the way it plays out better this way

Ok anyways kitty are 18 jsyk

Ty is convinced Kit hates him bc they had a pretty shit first meeting and Kit came off as kinda an ass but he was just going thru gay panic

U kno that scene in RSOM where alec thought aline was homophobic but she was just a lesbian freaking out over a cute girl? That’s kinda how the kitty meeting went

it was literally just a miscommunication but now ty has been trying to convince himself he hates kit for like two years but hes just gay and a moron god what a life

Livvy, in the background: GAAAAY

Ok so beginning of the plot a royal (clace) wedding is happening and the first family is invited

(psst lets get real the herondales are shadowhunter royalty this is valid)

Ty can’t get out of it and he’s big sad bout it but whatevs he’ll have livvy

so ty and kit end up talking and kit is trying to leave asap bcause he’s too gay for this but when he attempts to leave, ty grabs his shoulder and kit kinda pushes him off and ty starts falling but grabs onto kits arm and so

they crash and fall into jace and clary’s expensive ass wedding cake

the tabloids are like: lol they hate eachother

so those two gotta fix everything bc yea international relations

They start hanging out and find they get along pretty well, specifically through a shared love of a certain fictional detective

ty: the books are better kit: binch the bbc show tho

tessa, in the background: I APPROVE CHRISTOPHER

so a couple months pass and kit and ty are talking outside being deep and kit kisses him and then proceeds to FLEE THE SCENE and goes back to england and doesnt respond to any of tys messages

(like guys goddamnit henry literally pulled a kit when he did that shit guys it fits)

the two of them end up making up and making out like a month later and then have to proceed to attempt to hide their relationship

but yea blah blah blah they end up happy together im done w/ plot points i dont wanna spoil the ENTIRE book for y’all

(also kits bestie ash is like weirdly into dru but ty doesnt care AT ALL hes like go for it also heres some pointers bc ash is crushing hard man)

ooh Diana is the president’s deputy chief of staff and gwyn is the crown family’s equerry and they fall in love during this because i want them to

Ok but heres my batshit ideas starting so take the rest of this w/ a grain of salt its just the sleep depravation talking and also fun ideas that dont work at all

KING WILL HERONDALE

wessa are like kinda kits parents in this au and probs still have james and lucie

jace is like their cousin who isnt strictly a prince but is still largely in the public eye bc theyre close to him

or mb wessa have four kids including jace in this au idk they all deserve to be a happy family

(but where is jem u ask)

ok so will could die but i dont want him to

(again, this part is for funsies and if i were to make this a fic i’d have to kill him off)

so will faked his own death so jem and tessa could be together bc lets get real he would

jem and tessa have a daughter mina and people think they named her after will due to grief nah will just said if i fake my death this is my one condition

im sorry im just imagining young prince christopher with his older siblings prince james princess lucie and prince johnathan with their younger half sister princess wilhelmina

time doesnt exist in this ok just my want for a eight person herongraystairs fam cause jace deserved good parents but was born at the wrong time to be raised by people who would have LOVED HIM

lol the thing i find hilarious is that in this au jesse blackthorn isnt really related to the blackthorns theyre like seventh cousins and he met lucie by coincidence

lmfao what if will is kits like bodyguard but he wears shitty disguises all the time and people are like hmm is that the king and will is like no unfortunately king william has been dead for years

this is so stupid but i dont care fuck off im having fun w/ it also will herondale is king as he deserves so all is right in the world

The real question is now: Do y’all want me to write this? Or like nah

[existentialburden]

💐🌸🌼 for Luca pls

Luca me boy!!! aaaaaa the asks fuel me

Luca hates being sick because most of the time he gets “sick-enough-to-be-confined-to-the-house-but-not-sick-enough-to-justify-calling-someone” sick, which means being unable to do anything or see anyone and just staying in his house except now he feels PHYSICALLY miserable too. the valid excuse to nap is nice, though. of course, everything is “not-sick-enough-to-justify-calling-someone” sick for him, regardless of actual severity. He does like being taken care of, though! It’s a little weird and feels like being a bit of a burden sometimes but it’s not like he can shoo anyone away. I’d imagine that Elli would take care of him, but if his cousin happens to hear about it you’d better believe Ax will be coming to take care of him. and that’s always very nice but feels even more burden-y. so it’s weird. he’s shit at, like, actual medical emergencies and healthy food for taking care of someone else, but he’s Ideal for comfort. ramen is basically the same thing as chicken noodle soup, right? he’ll turn on your favorite show or get a movie going and WILL end up getting sick after you from constantly hovering nearby. he’ll bring over videogames for you to play and here’s his wireless controller so you don’t have to sit on the edge of the bed while you’re sick, and he can sit with you if you want, and did you want sprite? or some caffeine?? 

List of things Luca loves bcause who has time for FAVORITES: sunny days, when people invite him places, SNOW, light yellow, black, when people laugh at his jokes, Elli, Julius, compliments, being the center of attention, a perfect setup, when Ax is in town, musicals, beef ramen, fish, baby’s breath flowers, most tiny flowers actually, when leaves crunch, frogs, snakes, reptiles in general, cats, CATS it’s so fucking weird he loses his shit every time, fuck it animals in general, shopping for dumb shit, the McElroys, TAZ, absolutely fucking bizarre movies, when people message him, when people say they’ve been thinking of him, pink lemonade (it tastes better don’t @ him), pins and buttons, sprite, D&D, Eevee, BNHA (it’s one of the very few animes he’s seen), huge stuffed animals, smooth textures, and not wearing socks. 

Luca has a few friends at school, kind of, but they don’t really HANG OUT hang out, and SBURB kinda fucked that up anyway, so his current friend group consists of Elli, Julius, Elli’s dad, a few of his consorts, and some of the ghosts on Elli’s land. does his cousin count? who knows. it’s kind of sad but hey props to him for befriending some ghosts. he obviously met his consorts through land quests and Elli’s land’s ghosts through... well, visiting Elli, but met Julius through some cross-session contact... also through Elli. Elli’s dad? Elli. Elli herself he met through school. she had no friends and he was like >:O friend spotted. he’s actually dating Elli and Julius, so :D! he doesn’t really look for anything specific in a friend or partner: if they hit it off, they hit it off! if they don’t, seeya! the list is always expanding. it should be noted that Elli and Julius are both Massive Fucking Weebs, though, and his ex is a Scene Kid, so like... secret type=bully bait?? forbidden knowledge.

[hypokeimena]

Your opinion on Adam/Gansey!

oh god i was so confused before i remembered that ask meme i reblogged yesterday. yeah, sure, i’ll do more of these. 

uhh. it’s good. i like it. i love pretty much every dynamic between those crow kids. 

my issue w it has more to do with the fandom than with the ship itself (which i’m sure is SHOCKING and certainly not something you could come to expect from Me Alf)... i see a lot of people using adam/gansey in order to do a talking shit about ronan which is Hard 4 Me and i dont approve of.. like not Valid Literary Criticism or “i just dont like this” or whatever. anyway it’s bad. also people sometimes get really mean about ronsey which is similarly bad. 

basically though like my - i think it’s good. but i don’t think ... that in canon ... they would have been able to be happy together, or good for each other. one of the things i like most about adansey is how good they are at talking past each other and hurting each other, and especially the like... completely incompatible... adam’s pride and the betrayal gansey feels when adam goes to cabeswater... like and how much they still care about each other, and how bad they are at showing it. but like... i’m glad it didn’t become canon, because i would not have wanted to read about that.

that said i have a deep and abiding fondness for them 2gether... i really like to read/write/think about em i just haven’t really posted any of my fic bcause 1. most of it is collaborative/rp 2. i don’t feel like i have a lot to Say about them that hasn’t already been talked to death. 

like when i was first reading the series i genuinely thought it was going to an adam/blue/gansey place at first, with ronan/noah as the Gay Side Pairing. like that’s really what i thought was going to happen. and then there was the noah wank and m. confirmed pynch and also introduced henry - it’s been a couple years and my fandom timeline memory is wonky - and my Endgame Pairing Priorities adjusted but like. you know! they’re good. i just don’t really have a lot in common with what i’ve seen of Adansey Fandom wrt priorities or what have you. 

send me more of these! your opinion on ____

[stabigail]

11 questions meme

1tagged by @myrkks, tagging....... @pentaughast @ghoste-catte @beamkatanachronicles anyone who wants to ig :V

1. how would you describe your writing style or “voice” as a writer?

HONESTLY i still feel like i’m growing into my style, lol! and i often feel inconsistent, but i think part of that is a lack of confidence, still, forever #justwritingproblems. being more realistic, i would say that i tend to write from a very firm point of view and my narrators tend to be quite unreliable; i also tend to focus a lot on sensory details. generally i’m very much a stream of consciousness writer! it’s what i love 2 do.

2. do you prefer to write in first person, second person, or third person, and why? which tense do you prefer?

it depends on what i’m working on, and i definitely flip-flop some, but i almost always write in third person. for me, first person works really well for Very Unreliable Narrators who are trying to skew their story in a certain light, or for stories that are literally one person talking to other people. i love love love first person in podcasts! alice isn’t dead is probably my favorite podcast that utilizes first person, and i really love the depth of emotion that it conveys as a result, so i am more likely to us first person for projects like that.

generally, though, i struggle with first person because it limits narration in a way that i struggle with at times. second person kind of creeps me out as a writer because i feel like a soulbonder?? WHICH IS NOT A KNOCK ON SECOND PERSON, i think it makes for beautiful work, but it’s just not for me. so 3rd person limited is my favorite and has been for a while!

as for tense, i used to write exclusively in past tense but now i write exclusively in present tense and i couldn’t even tell you why. is it because the focus on the present makes for more dynamic writing? is it because i’m pretentious? is it both? likely.

3. what is one thing that inspires/motivates you as a writer these days?

oh man haha . . . spite . . . no not really, it’s a little spite but more feeling a lack and a motivation to fill it! my original work right now is based around a lot of feelings i have about both personal and global uncertainty, and while it isn’t a political piece at all, i’ve definitely found motivation to explore topics that i wish were easier to talk about. when it comes to fandom stuff, it’s usually “i love this pairing, but i never see work for it” or “i love this pairing, but i wish there was more diversity of work around it,” because i like filling gaps and also just always fall for pairings few other people care about. i’m also deeply motivated to write character exploration pieces for fandom because holy shit, nothing makes me happier than picking apart a character’s motivations and rearranging them in a new form. i’m the sylar of other people’s characters.

that being said, sometimes my motivation is “why are there only like 2 smut fics of this lesbian pairing and 238974293874 of this pairing of 2 dudes” and that is spite and i’m not sorry for it.

4. what is one of your strengths as a writer?

uhh,,,, i think i have a good attention to detail? is that a cop-out answer? maybe. i have a good grasp of figurative language, i think, and i actually am quite proud of that now that i think about it. i used to write super purple prose, and through the past few years i’ve been able to really neaten my writing up so that it’s . . . still flowery! always will be! not sorry! but it’s not overbearingly so, and the figurative language i use enhances the story rather than drowning it. shoutout to @pentaughast who has been writing with me for like five years and giving me feedback until my writing stopped being a horrible disaster thicket of metaphors, you’re a pal.

5. what is something you’d like to improve about your writing?

(rolls out scroll)

no but seriously: my number one thing to improve right now is learning to stop editing while i write. every writer is their own worst critic, but i will literally write half a sentence and then go back and change the whole thing, because i’m convinced that everything has to be Perfect the First Time. which is in fact a microcosm of my entire personality. so, anne, don’t edit while you write! also, your first draft is not your final draft! i don’t feel a need to just barf out a certain number of words per writing session, but i do think it’ll benefit me to have momentum and iron out kinks later.

6. what is one genre you enjoy writing in, and why?

hmmm this is interesting because genre is such a broad and subjective thing. that said: urban fantasy is and has always been my jam! i wouldn’t say i’m particularly good at it simply because 1) it is a super vague genre with few hard and fast rules, so i’m not sure how much of my stuff is urban fantasy even, and 2) i’ve been struggling a lot with writing original stuff over the past few years, which is where i have written urban fantasy stuff in the past.

overall i enjoy writing in fantasy or fantasy/sci-fi most of all genres, but never high fantasy because it causes me physical agony. aspects of f/sf i like a lot are basically f/sf as a mirror to our world or otherwise connected to our world (without necessarily using f/sf components as a substitution for actual discussion of oppression cuz, nah,) as well as f/sf as satire, that is my FAVE. discworld (t. pratchett) was the first fantasy series i really locked onto and it was v formative, obviously; also gaiman, stiefvater, jemisin. this question was not about my influences but too bad here they are!!!!!!!!!!

7. what would be the biggest compliment someone could give you about your writing?

the biggest, biggest compliment would be: while i was reading this, i forgot the world existed. because that has always been the biggest thing for me as a reader! the way reading can just take you somewhere, so no matter how shitty things might be in your actual situation, you can just take a break from that and follow bilbo around, or whatever. another really excellent compliment that i actually have gotten (both in writing fic and rp) is “i can hear their voice,” either in narration or dialogue. that’s huge! and it makes me really happy to hear. basically i would love for my writing to be an immersive experience for people, and that’s what i’m always striving to improve.

8. what is one piece of advice you’d give someone experiencing writer’s block or feeling stuck with their writing?

READ

idk, for me, fighting my writer’s block literally does not work. just staring at a piece of paper or a computer screen makes me upset and frustrated. reading, though, is both enjoyable and relatively passive; you don’t have to come up with ideas, you just have to take in someone else’s. as a writer, too, you can read both as an audience member and as a fellow writer observing. what does this author do that works or doesn’t? how does this style work in this context where it might not in another? how does it relate to your style? etc.

more generally, do something nice for yourself cuz sometimes that will boost your creative spirit. self-care is huge!

9. what is one piece of advice you wish someone had given you when you started writing?

lskdjfskld uh . . . don’t follow any of the advice people give you because most of it either only works for specific people or is entirely bullshit? i suppose more specifically i wish someone had been more supportive of fantasy/sci-fi as a legitimate genre with meaning, although of course that is a societal view rather than a specific one that surrounded me as a kid. it’s shitty, though, because until fairly recently i viewed the type of writing i enjoyed as “less than”/less meaningful than like, i don’t know, anything written by racist old dead white guys.

also, young adult fiction is fucking valid and doesn’t make you a less “serious” writer. i, a Fucking Grown Up, am still most captivated by YA fiction because there are fewer restrictions on it and writers tend to experiment more and, most importantly, because stories about transformation and trying to figure out who you are will never not be compelling.

10. what is a common piece of writing advice you disagree with, and why?

rubs hands together

one: write what you know. what the fuck is that, i want to know who came up with it because fuck? you??? definitely it’s fine to write about things that you have a personal perspective about, or to write in a way that reflects your worldview or emotions or whatever. but write what you know is literally the stupidest, most limiting garbage, and i have met so many grown ass adults who believe in it so strongly. curse that mess.

two: you must construct x type of work in y format following z formula. a lot of times this is really great and works well for people, but other times it can be, again, really limiting. beginning-middle-end is great, but even that can be inappropriate for certain stories, depending on what they are? for me, strictly following writing formulas made me overly focused on “”accuracy”” and less focused on writing what i enjoyed.

three: this one isn’t quite as cut and dry as the previous two, but: write protagonists that people can relate to. here’s the thing: i feel like this often gets translated to “protagonists that are charmingly aware of their own assholeishness, totally perfect and always right, or bland,” and it’s kind of a shitty trap to fall into? this is another reason i love unreliable narrators, bcause you can have that nuance and imperfection without the entire story being about how shitty the character is. their imperfection is part of the story and perhaps even a driving force, but they aren’t just sort of a paper cutout used to drive the story along. hello i’m anne and i struggle writing protagonists.

11. what writing projects are you working on these days?

excited buzzing. a couple! i am really shy about talking about original stuff, but i am working on scripts for (tentatively) a podcast about a very apathetic and cynical gal who is one of a very few survivors of a series of natural disasters and also may?be the one who made them happen. Whoopsie.

fanfiction-wise, i am working on finishing . . . christ on a raft let me count. four! one-shots. there’s a fifth one that i wrote 10k words of in like 2015 and still haven’t finished and i don’t know if i’ll trash it or not lol. regardless, i am working on those! there is a fic that i started working on a while back that was meant to be a multi-chapter fic called reverse about giorno tripping into vampirism and fugo having 0 idea what to do about it; i’ve let it dangle for ages, but i am slowly fleshing out the plot again and getting it going. i’m very excited to do this! i love giorno having to figure out how to vampire and i love fugio.

finally, @relares and i are starting to work on a reset fugiomis fic which, weeps into tea, will kill us both.