#religious modesty mindsets

[arwendeluhtiene]

New additions for my late 14th-early 15th Century cotte outfit ⚜️! A pair of burgundy Medieval shoes and striped 'hose' from Armstreet ✨, and some tablet-weaving garters from @/emelunashop on Etsy ✨. I got it all in dark green and burgundy to fit the colour pattern of my damask cotte ensemble 💚💗

Also, some casual test pics (I since had the cotte slightly altered to remove a couple of front seams and give me more lacing allowance, and lowered the chemise's neckline as well to better fit the cotte), featuring the open hood and a couple of styles with the (faux) pearl-beaded linen veil. I have pretty much shied from the wimple styles in my Medieval reenactment so far because well, the baggage for female headwear is deeply steepled in religious patriarchy and gendered modesty mindsets, and that issue has always bugged me 😬. It can look interesting from a purely fashion standpoint, but yeah, it's hard for me to separate the two from a feminist pov. Still, I tried it very casually with a separate linen kerchief to see how it would look (minus the braids) 😅

14th Century reenactment

DeviantArt

FB cosplay page

IG cosplay page

[lgbtqiamuslimpedia]

LGBTQI+ rights in Niger 🇳🇪

LGBTQI+ persons face stigmatization among the broader population.Niger is predominantly a muslim country with conservative & traditionist mindsets.

LGBTQ+ pride flag of Niger

Legality of Homosexuality

Private consensual same sex relationship was legal in Niger until 2023.The age of consent was not equal for homosexual and heterosexual relationships.The age of consent is 13 for heterosexuals and 21 for homosexuals.Further Niger does not legally recognize same-sex unions.

Criminalization

In Niger homosexuality never been criminalized until 2023.In Colonie du Niger (Colony of Niger) from 1922 to 1960 there's no record of criminalization of homosexuality.Since 2023 president planning to criminalize homosexuality with a death penalty or life imprisonment.In October 2022,MP Nana Djoubie filed an anti homosexual bill to pave the way for the criminalization of homosexuality, as young lesbians prosecuted for indecent exposure,but could not be convicted under Nigerien laws.

Other laws may be used against LGBTQI+ members by police to discriminate them:

SECTION I - Outrage public decency (1993)

Art. 275: It is an outrage to public decency any material act contrary to morality committed in such a way that has been sighted or could be provided by third party whom he might offend the modesty.

Art. 276: Any person who has committed an outrage to public decency shall be punished with imprisonment between three months to three years and a fine of 10,000 to 100,000 francs.

Art. 277: It is an indecent assault lewd acts carried out directly on a person of one sex or the other.

Art. 278: Any indecent assault consummated or attempted without violence against a child of either sex under the age of thirteen years, shall be punished with imprisonment from two to ten years and a fine of 20,000 to 200,000 francs.

Art. 280: Anyone who committed an attack, consumed or attempted with violence, against individuals of one sex or the other, shall be punished with imprisonment from two to ten years and a fine of 20,000 to 200,000 francs.

SECTION III - Shameless acts with children of the same sex

Art. 282: Anyone who committed a lewd act against nature or with a person's same sex, child of twenty-one year, shall be punished with imprisonment from six months to three years and a fine of 10,000 to 100,000 francs.

Constitutional Rights or Civic Rights

Niger is predominantly muslim country.But Nigerien Constitution's Article 3 supports the separation of state & religion.Article 4 of prohibits discrimination & guarantees equality for All.In the Article 8 of Constitution assures all equality before law on the basis sex,social,ethnic or racial,religious status.But it does not includes the sexual orientation,gender identity or expression & sexual characteristics.

Public Opinion,Social Condition

There have been few cultural acceptances of gender vice versa & effeminates.It is said that effeminate people always been part of nigerien culture who organize traditional wedding ceremonies.

In Country Reports on Human Rights Practices 2016 by the US Department of State added that gay men & lesbians experienced societal discrimination and social resentment in Niger.That same report stated that due to societal pressure "many LGBTQI+ individuals married and had families, often while pursuing LGBTI relationships in secret."

According to Afrobarometer survey (2014-2016) 5.08% nigerien people can accept homosexuals as neighbors.Survey of 2016-2018 by Afrobarometer shows 8.5% nigerien people can accept homosexuals as neighbors.

In 2023, Mohamed Bazoum presented details of his plans for an anti-homosexuality law on a radio broadcast by public radio station La Voie du Sahel.He want to enact a strict laws for same sex love,same sex marriage & LGBTQ advocates in Niger.He also plans to bring death penalty for homosexuality in Niger.

Discrimination,Violence

Nigerien LGBTQI+ citizens experience legal and social challenges not experienced by non-LGBTQ+ people, for instance age of consent is not equalized for all,same sex unions are not legally acknowledged,trans people can't change their gender and LGBTQ+ people can't adopt a child.

There is no legal protection against discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity.The U.S. Department of State’s 2010 Human Rights Report found that “there were no reports of violence against individuals based on their sexual orientation or gender identity.According to the US Department of State's Country Reports 2016 stated that there were no known documented cases of LGBTQI discrimination in employment, occupation, housing, statelessness, access to education or health care.

Many NGOs including, UNHCR resettles many LGBTQ+ refugees in Niger.Further ILGA stated that the Nigerien Armed Forces do not prohibit gay,lesbian,bisexual or queer refugees from entering the country.

LGBTQI+ Association

There is no Public LGBTQIA+ rights org & no online support group in Niger.If they exist then they maintain anonymity for themselves.

Rainbow World Fund (RWF), a San Francisco based non-profit org. that promotes LGBTQ+ philanthropy for global relief & humanitarian service.In addition to helping people, the organization’s charitable efforts serve to build with other oppressed groups,to advocate for a greater global understanding of the LGBTQ community, & also to educate the LGBTQI community about world issues.The humanitarian goals of RWF are to eliminate oppression and suffering against queer people around the world.

Peace Corps, an international org served in more than 30 countries on programs involving prevention of HIV/AIDS,healthcare, education,disaster relief,humanitarian response,etc.LGBTQI+ RPCV provides opportunities for LGBTQ+ volunteers who willing to join Peace corp's humanitarian activities.

The Friends of Niger (FON) is a charitable,nonprofit corporation formed to promote development and humanitarian activities in Niger.This group is affiliated with National Peace Corps Association.

Recognition of Gender Identity

Niger does not recognize of any separate gender identity & people are not allowed to change their gender in legal documents,birth certificate,passport.

In some regions, effeminate males organizes traditional wedding ceremonies.Nigerien culture accepted such gender variances from the beginning.

Summary:

Same-sex sexual activity - ✔️/❌ [Ambiguous, illicit sexual relation or indecent sexual conduct with same sex may be punishable]

Equal age of consent - ❌

Recognition of same-sex marriage - ❌

Adoption by LGBTQI+ people - ❌

Anti-discrimination laws in hate speech and violence - ❌

Anti-discrimination laws in employment - ❌

Anti-discrimination laws in the provision of goods and services - ❌

Right to change legal gender - ❌

Third gender or non-binary option in legal documents - ❌

MSMs allowed to donate blood - ❌

[thecurioustale]

This happens in the US because of human tribalism in general and because of the Christian paradigm in particular, into which the vast majority of "secular" and/or "progressive" people are raised. In other words, most non-Christians in America are actually still Christian in their worldview template, sans the specific theological assertions but still prioritizing the Christianity-motivated social frames such as sin, redemption, salvation, heroic sacrifice, hard work, the seven cardinal virtues (temperance, modesty, chastity, etc.), sexphobic attitudes in general, the eternal soul, slave morality, and many others. (Few of which are strictly "bad"; that's not what I'm getting at.) Together with the explicit Christian messaging that's everywhere, and the Christian vernacular and symbolism, it's no surprise that most secular Americans who aren't explicitly raised into something else are still culturally Christian.

The illustration becomes more apparent when you look at people who were raised into something else: Jews, as a permanent persecuted minority; members of non-Abrahamic religions; and first-generation immigrants from countries not dominated by Abrahamic religions. Conversely, people with a Muslim background often fit the Christian paradigm very well because the two religions, being brother-religions derived from Judaism but focused on salvation and conversion, are virtually inseparable in their structure, ideology, and, most importantly, their pathological need to dominate the world and tyrannize everyone in it.

As someone raised in a Jewish background, I have noticed throughout my adult life that many if not most secular and/or progressive Americans are indeed highly Christianized in all but name. It appears to be the default, and that shouldn't come as any surprise.

(Having said that, this paradigm can of course infiltrate any community, and I am not saying that any one one group is immunized from or specially privileged against the risks of Christianization. Avoiding that direction of development also requires personal strength of character and a strongly motivated vision of and for the world.)

Also, the religious affiliation numbers are rather misleading, because most people who claim no religious affiliation in the US were nevertheless exposed to Christian (and only to Christian) religious influences growing up, and many actually were religiously Christian in the past even if they aren't now. Better to think of them as "lapsed" Christians than anything. The programming is all still there, and oftentimes the effort of trying to consciously reject it only ends up reaffirming it. This is why many of the worst anti-religionists and ideological atheists in the US are ex-Christians. (And it's why some of the worst sexists are female, some of the worsts racists are non-white, some of the worst fatphobes are fat or ex-fat, etc.)

I have come to think that there isn't much we can do to change people's programming at the individual level, at least in any direct way. But we can shepherd community discourse by challenging, de-privileging, and debunking Christian frameworks in, for instance, our political discourse and policy justifications. It won't directly or immediately change the dominant paradigm in the progressive movement, which is quite an unhealthy mindset and is superior to the conservative position only in its positions on the issues themselves—and, markedly, not on matters of character or the logic and convictions underpinning issue positions.

That last part is important to understand: I have learned that progressives, and to a lesser extent leftists in general, are not generally "friends." They are not automatically nice or righteous or honorable or anything good. They are in fact human beings and therefore many of them are disposed to the same sliminess, cruelty, egotism, petty behavior, and most of all ignorance as rightists, centrists, and apoliticals. The left is broadly better only on the issues, and sometimes not even then, so a useful thing to remember as you go through life is that most of these people are allies at best. They are not necessarily good people, and they will not necessarily come to your aid when you are under attack. If you don't believe me, try being pro-Israel in 2024.

Lastly I want to circle back to human tribalism, because Christianity didn't come from nowhere and it doesn't stick around the way it does for no good reason. Christianity is outstanding at telling people what they want to hear in ways that they are able to receive it. To smash or at least dethrone Christian frameworks in secular and/or progressive spaces, it is important not only to challenge those frameworks but also to observably meet the needs in people that these frameworks have been satisfying.

Ultra-lastly, I also want to caution against overfitting the Christian paradigm explanation for some of these behaviors in secular and progressive spaces. Other things can contribute to this as well. The collectivist mentality continually pushed by the communist left is very unsympathetic toward nonconformance and definitely foments insularity and purity tests in groups—and that's just one example. So does the dogmatism surrounding identity politics and the utter excoriation and even excommunication that frequently occurs if one does not affirm the "right" ideas or even simply the "right" language. Also, leftist spaces in general tend to be fractious, isolated, and reactionary, which is yet another source of behavior that could also be mistakenly ascribed solely to the Christian paradigm. Etc. Accurately identifying the various independent contributing factors to these problematic ways of thinking, speaking, and interacting is important to eventually remediating problematic community norms—or, if nothing else, to extricating oneself from those communities and reducing one's status with regard to them as "ally" and not "member" (i.e., not "part of the problem").

The strange thing about growing up in conservative Christianity and then leaving it behind is that there are a lot of secular/progressive spaces that engage in similar thinking while sincerely believing their ideas are counter to conservative ones. So I thought I would just make a list of things I was taught within conservative Christianity, the stuff that was either the core of our beliefs, or the social dynamics that we created. Some of the language I use is specifically either scriptural, or Christian-speak.

This list isn’t to say “stop thinking this way.” This is actually intended to simply be informative because sometimes social justice spaces assume, “we are crafting our ideals in opposition to conservative ideals therefore whatever we think surely must be the opposite of whatever they think,” without ever seeming to know that their language and ideals look and sound the same.

So, let’s begin:

Sin-leveling: x is bad, and y is bad, and all bad things deserve an equal reaction

Sin-leveling part 2: because all things are equally bad, there’s nothing wrong with inverting the consequences. Hurting others becomes acceptable (because it’s no different than doing something distasteful), doing something distasteful is unforgivable (because it’s no different than doing something harmful)

Avoid all appearance of evil: if I assume that your behavior looks wrong, then you are wrong, even if further context would say otherwise. You should avoid doing anything that others would see as wrong because you are not allowed the benefit of the doubt or to defend yourself.

Sin by association: x company contracted with y company. Y company engages in something sinful, which means x company approves of said sinful thing which means if you purchase from x company, you are condoning, supporting, and have actually committed the sin.

Think only on what is good: or as the pastor of my old church liked to call it, “garbage in, garbage out.” Whatever ideas, thoughts, words, arguments, stories, pictures, books, movies, songs, friends, love you put in your head will create the desire to become that. If you want to be good, you must avoid any bad thought because you will “slip” into wanting it and then be unable to stop yourself from being it. (For example, type into google “is secular music” and click on the autocomplete of “a sin”)

Language as an in-group test: if you do not describe your life, experiences, and beliefs with the exact same vocabulary and in-group speak, you are either not really one of us, or you’re someone who hasn’t thought through their ideas as deeply as I have.

By any means necessary: Also known in the ex-Evangelical world as “lying for Jesus.” If my words create the necessary beliefs and actions in others, then it doesn’t matter if I am exaggerating, saying half-truths, or using manipulative language, because I’m saving others and helping them do what’s right.

Touch not God’s anointed: any critiques of those our community trusts, critiques of those we’ve deemed “the good ones,” are actually people trying to sow discord and disunity to destroy our community and their voice should be silenced because they must be lying.

Judge not lest ye be judged: A scripture that we throw at people when someone says our leadership is abusive, a scripture we cry is being taken out of context when we want to harshly critique someone ourselves. 

There’s more, lots more, but this post is already fairly long. Once again, though, this isn’t intended to be combative. I just want people to know the actual social dynamics that a lot of us grew up with in conservative Christianity communities, so they know when sometimes they’re sharing those social dynamics, not countering them.

[apostolicfashions]

Embracing Elegance: Exploring the Timeless Appeal of Apostolic Fashions

Introduction:

In the ever-evolving world of fashion, where trends come and go with each passing season, there exists a timeless and elegant style that transcends fleeting fads—Apostolic Fashions. Rooted in tradition, yet adaptable to modern sensibilities, this unique approach to dressing reflects a commitment to modesty, grace, and a profound connection to one's faith.

Understanding Apostolic Fashions:

Apostolic fashion is deeply influenced by religious beliefs, particularly within the Apostolic Pentecostal community. The emphasis is on modesty and humility, with clothing choices reflecting a commitment to dressing in a way that honors one's body as a temple. This style is not only a form of self-expression but also a tangible representation of spiritual values.

Modesty as a Statement:

In a world where skin-baring outfits often dominate the fashion scene, Apostolic Fashions stand out as a testament to the beauty of modesty. Long skirts, dresses with sleeves, and high necklines are common elements, allowing individuals to express their personal style while adhering to their religious principles. The commitment to modesty becomes a powerful statement, challenging societal norms and promoting a different standard of beauty.

Elegance in Simplicity:

Apostolic Fashions showcase the idea that simplicity can be incredibly elegant. Solid colors, subtle patterns, and timeless silhouettes create a wardrobe that transcends trends. The focus is on quality rather than quantity, with well-chosen pieces that withstand the test of time. This approach to fashion encourages a mindset of conscious consumption, where each garment is a meaningful addition to the wardrobe.

Adapting Tradition to Modernity:

While Apostolic Fashions are rooted in tradition, they are by no means stuck in the past. Many individuals adeptly blend traditional elements with contemporary trends, creating a style that is both timeless and relevant. Incorporating modern accessories, experimenting with fabrics, and exploring diverse color palettes allow for a creative fusion that speaks to the adaptability of this fashion ethos.

Building a Wardrobe with Purpose:

Apostolic Fashions prioritize intentionality in wardrobe choices. Each piece serves a purpose beyond mere aesthetics—it is a reflection of personal values, a commitment to faith, and an acknowledgment of the role clothing plays in shaping one's identity. Building a wardrobe with purpose goes hand in hand with the sustainability movement, encouraging a shift away from fast fashion towards thoughtful, enduring choices.

Conclusion:

Apostolic Fashions offer a refreshing perspective in the world of style—one that emphasizes modesty, elegance, and a deep connection to personal and religious values. In a society often driven by trends that change with the wind, this approach serves as a reminder that true style is timeless and transcends the constraints of passing fads. As fashion continues to evolve, Apostolic Fashions stand as a beacon of enduring grace and beauty.

[aeternalswirlingfight]

(English below) Nuevo post en el blog! Pilar Erika y yo trabajamos en una traducción al quenya para la edición de invierno del 2020 de la Estel (nº 94, pp. 41-46), la revista de la Sociedad Tolkien Española (STE). Tradujimos unos fragmentos de uno de los poemas de Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz, la poeta y escritora mexicana del siglo XVII que se hizo monja para poder escribir, y que, a pesar de la sociedad tan patriarcal y jerárquica en la que le tocó vivir, era tanto una feminista subversiva como un ejemplo de persona LGBT+ histórica. Nos lo pasamos muy bien en este trabajo, ya que combina varios de nuestros temas favoritos: El feminismo y la visibilización de mujeres en la historia, Tolkien y los fandoms, las lenguas raras e inventadas, y la traducción .                    ................................................................................

New blog post! Back in 2020, fellow Tolkienite and feminist Pilar Erika and I worked on a Quenya translation which got published in the Winter 2020 edition of the Estel (no. 94), the biannual magazine of the Spanish Tolkien Society (Sociedad Tolkien Española, STE). We translated excerpts of one of the poems of Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz, a 17th Century Mexican nun who was also a subversive feminist and LGBT+ poetess and writer. We had a blast with this work, as it combines some of our favourite topics - feminism and herstory, Tolkien and fandoms, rare and invented languages, and translating .

[fixing-bad-comic-art]

usually i dont like 'fixing art' but honestly i have to make an exception for you bc alot of this shit is just that (as a hijabi seeing that sexualization burqa killed the rest of my cognitive abilities)

like yeah, this is weirdly something ive been thinking about for the last few days. so you're going to have to put up with me rambling for a bit

for some context that most of you probably just dont have bc the last time i talke about it would probably be from over a year ago at this point, when i named this blog it was obviously based on Bad-comic-art's blog. and when i chose the url for this one i didn't think about how it would read to others. because like, the word "fix" never meant "make better" to me? it just meant "change". i think this is bc i grew up around a lot of people who spoke English as their second/third/fourth language, who were all trying very hard to make sure english was my first. so a lot of words that had wierd or imprecise translations got jumbled up in that mess, and fix was just one of them. that combined with my aphasia just made for the perfect time bomb of a url.

At first i just picked at which ever ones felt especially awkward to me, and then i started noticing trends that got me grinding my teeth. especially after a lot of people came forward to talk about how they felt better about themselves after the impossibility of the og arts proportions was pointed out. Because like, a lot of western comic art is meant to look fairly realistic, stylized, but still realistic, and that means that its a lot easier for our brains to internalize the proportions and ideals of theses styles as like, correct? as something that its worth comparing real skin and bone too without really realizing your doing it.

beyond that, ive always tried to focus more on things that were sexist. pieces where making sure a ladys tits and ass were center stage was more important than not snapping her back to do so. on sorta shining a light on how Weird a lot of these male comic artists were depicting women because them being sexy was more important than telling a story where they were characters.

and later once i had more context for some of the characters, and with a lot of help from my followers, i started being able to spot which ones were being whitewashed, and did a few of those edits too.

the dust one was very obviously an Issue that i didn't need explained but that one is still like, if i had to pick one piece to define what id want this blog to be, it would be that one. because it perfectly encompasses all my issues with a lot of comic art. Her being sexy was more important to that artist than her being a character with a specific religious background that wore a specific for of modesty garb bc thats what she wanted to wear.

and like mild tangent- this is why i try so hard to match the original as closely as possible. these styles arnt Bad usually. a lot of times they're just rushed, and doing edits to show what the artist could have done if they'd had the tims to do it always just felt like giving the original a second chance to shine? but some of the ways women and minorities especially are depicted, is just gross, and shows a clear sorta mindset. I want to match the originals in these cases to prove that the og artist, within their own style, could have depicted these characters with respect, but just chose not to.

beyond the edits i do that fall in the former categories, sometimes i just want to make people laugh so i do goofy things to art they dont like very much. thats always felt like sharpying a mustache on one historical figure or a other in a friends text book. just something harmless and fun to share in the back of the class room.

like i guess my tldr on this is this: bigotry is bad and i just want to make people happy by posting little edits on the internet.

[pumpumdemsugah]

Every now and again I'll see pseudo feminist advice from these luxury blogs on feminist pages ...it's like go read an actual piece of feminist book

I get why someone that isn't a feminist or isn't properly engaged would like it because the advice isn't bad in it self but more the mindset of those post and for the people who are doing feminism on their blog...so you have nothing to say about someone suggesting the option of casual sex always being bad? Many of them are very close to the idea of no sex before marriage and that doesn't make you take pause? I get being personally put off certain imagery but I can't take the religious idea of being concerned about satanism in music serious that one of these blogs were so concerned about. Religion is always on the chopping block for me. Someone's freedom to worship without prosecution doesn't mean I have to do PR for their religion and I do not understand the liberal impulse of being like X religion is beautiful and blah blah, ok I don't give fuck. I don't have to know or care what their holy books says to take issues with people being racialised and targeted for their faith.

It's one thing to acknowledge how women are pressured and taken advantage of by how sexism has taken over sex positivity but I thought we all understood that patriarchy isn't picky with how it can be enforced. I can't believe I saw someone take issue with the original idea of sex positivity as if you can have a good criticism of something but living in a patriarchal world it gets bended to the whim of men and misogyny.

A part of feminism is talking about your ideal world and practical advice for existing in a sexist one and how these ideas can be implemented.

My upbringing can't have been the strictest that when people talk about modesty and implications of sexual purity it doesn't make me go " !?!?!?!". If you think someone criticising modesty is promoting hypersexuality, you're a problem or you're being stupid on purpose. Not wanting to be hypersexualised doesn't mean I also want to be covered , it means I want to exist without being treated like an object that's there for decoration

Running around and tackling the very low handing fruit of mainstream liberal feminism isn't actually very hard cause none of them read any feminism but I'm judging

[path-of-my-childhood]

Unpopular opinion: Taylor’s political stance has never been unclear to me. From her episode of The Talk, I knew she was pro-LGBTQ rights. She’s also spoken about feminism so I knew she was pro-choice. I don’t think she should have ever felt pressured to publicly speak up in the media and I wish people weren’t so obsessed with her politics. I also wish she didn’t get involved in politics because no matter what she says and/or does, it’s just never going to be enough for some people. I don’t view Taylor as an activist or a politician, she’s an artist. Leave the poor girl alone. And that’s my Ted talk.

Ahaha Ted talk  =)  no, I mean - you’re right. My unpopular opinion is that I don’t care about Taylor’s political opinions, I have my own opinions & views and they are independent from whatever any pop star - or anyone else for that matter - thinks or doesn’t think. And I think further involvement of celebrities in political sphere is contra productive and doesn’t amount to much. I also know that keeping your political or religious or any other personal views private is your constitutional right everywhere around the world - except in extreme autocracies. Unfortunately, I have had experiences with this in my own country - which is probably why I value the right to choose what you are going to express or not.

But just for the record and to be clear - other than few entitled fans no one is complaining about her. Social media is such an echo chamber, but it holds almost no weight compared to real life. Right in this moment, she is still literally in the news cycle with her endorsement for Biden/Harris. In any case, it all does amount to what you mentioned - I just want her to release music from time to time cause I like her style of writing and I can usually apply it to my life. That’s pretty much it, I even like that she’s not around right now cause there’s no distractions from music and I respect people who mind their own business - they leave me with a sense of mystery and I like that. And you hit the nail on the head about one thing here that I’ve always been wary of - once you publicly open the doors to politics, there’s is no going back. From that very first moment she expressed her opinion in 2018, I knew she was gonna be pushed and pulled apart in all directions. But you know, it was her choice and we have to live with our choices. It’s one of many wonderful parts of being an adult.

I know, I know... also, do you know that as a citizen of some irrelevant, small country halfway across the world, I had to study your history & political system from elementary school and onward. I mean, to be fair, we studied pretty much everyone’s history and political system, but usually countries are lumped in together in groups based on similar systems - but not USA. That was always a separate chapter. Plus I love being informed about all economic and political things, so trust me - I understand your politics to the tiniest little details. It’s mentality and cultural differences that I have to put a little bit more effort into in order to grasp where you are coming from. Cause, you know, that presents such a vast difference in how you as a person perceive even the most random things. Obviously, it would be unrealistic to expect people with fundamentally different upbringing and life experiences to have the same mindset. 

But anyway, thanks for liking my blog! Being on point is in fact one of my many talents - cause modesty obviously isn’t lmao 😏

[confrontingbabble-on]

“Some of the world’s largest religions emerged during the Iron Age, and the rules in their sacred texts likely helped families and communities (or at least some subset) to thrive under Iron Age conditions. Today, we live under very different conditions. We know things our ancestors didn’t. We hold powers and face challenges they could not have imagined.

Here are a few of the moral mandates from the Abrahamic religions (Judaism, Christianity and Islam) that some people still practice on religious grounds but that a growing number of others consider morally dubious given our current circumstances and knowledge.

Hitting children—The Hebrew Bible instructs parents to beat their children, most explicitly in Proverbs 23: “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish them with the rod, they will not die. Punish them with the rod and save them from death.” Traditional Muslim teachings exhort parents to beat boys if they don’t pray regularly by the age of seven.

Research in psychology contradicts this advice, pointing to few if any developmental benefits and an increased risk of aggression in children who are hit. Parenting experts suggest better means of raising children and managing misbehavior. Even religious leaders who may feel obliged to approve spanking because it is endorsed in their sacred texts (some of whom fiercely defend the god-given right of parents to hit their kids) now tend to send mixed messages and encourage other forms of discipline first.

Teaching children to rely on faith— Religions often treat faith or even religious certitude as a virtue. In fact, in Protestant Christianity it is the ultimate virtue, the one that sends people to heaven or hell. Believe and be saved, says the Christian New Testament, and one of the tenets of the Reformation was sola fide—by faith alone. Defenders of Christianity may marshal logic or evidence to support belief, but when backed into a corner, many default to I just know—and they teach children to do the same.

By contrast, modern cognitive science recognizes the sense of knowing as a feeling state that can be triggered under a wide variety of circumstances, not all of which have a basis in reality. Advocates for secularism argue that faith, by definition, means committing to a set of beliefs that are poorly grounded—or even contradict the best available evidence. We humans are prone to confirmation bias, for example, or self-serving “motivated” reasoning.

In belief-based religions like Christianity and Islam, doubt is seen as a sign of weakness or a moral failing, a sin. But knowing what we now know about human cognition, faith increasingly looks like a bad epistemology, a not-very-effective way of sifting what is real from what is not. By contrast, the scientific method has been called “What we know about how not to fool ourselves,” because it forces us to ask the questions that could show us wrong. Unlike faith in received dogma, the scientific method promotes a growth mindset. This is one reason that a growing number of people see religious indoctrination of children as an abuse of trust.

Restrictions on women’s movement and attire – Religious modesty and virginity rules for women emerged when a person’s place in society depended on paternal lineage. Women and men had no way of managing their fertility other than abstinence; and mama’s baby, papa’s maybe could create social havoc. Societies had a strong investment in controlling female fertility.

Modernity values people based on who they are, not on their lineage; and women now have reliable means to manage their fertility. Our life course need not be defined by the form of our genitalia. But male ownership of girls and women is so foundational in the Abrahamic traditions that conservative believers often find themselves most comfortable with gender hierarchy. Conservative Christians promote “male headship”—a version of separate-but-equal; conservative Muslims rationalize veiling—which (though it can mean different things to different believers) is rooted in male ownership of female sexuality; Orthodox Jews demand that women shave their heads and ride on separate sides of the bus.

Fortunately, although religions may slow cultural evolution, they rarely succeed in stopping it altogether. Even within conservative religious communities, leaders often claim that restrictive practices elevate women and offer them genuine equality. Their thinking may be Orwellian, but it is a far cry from that of the men who wrote the sacred texts, for whom male dominance and control of females was simply a given.

Pronatalism – “Be fruitful and multiply,” God tells man in the book of Genesis. Throughout the Bible, sons are seen as signs of God’s favor, the more the better. In the Christian New Testament book of 1 Timothy, readers are told that women, who brought sin into the world, will be saved by childbearing (2:15). The Roman Catholic Church, when it emerged, promoted a high birthrate—not among priests, which would have been a drain on church assets—but among lay practitioners, which added to the ranks of the faithful.

Today some devout Catholics and quiver-full Protestants (along with ultra-orthodox Jews and fundamentalist Muslims) still see bearing many children as a form of righteous submission to God’s will. They eschew family planning, taking a “let go and let God” approach to birth control. But as world population approaches eight billion, putting increasing pressure on natural resources and other species, many people now view large families the same way they might view gluttony. Most, including most religious believers, think it is more moral to take excellent care of a few children than to produce as many as possible.

Proselytizing mandates – Christianity tells believers to “make disciples of every creature,” and over the centuries Christians have sent missionaries to the far reaches of the planet, some willing to kill or die in order to win a “harvest” of converts. They have been celebrated as saints and martyrs, or in modern times as altruistic heroes. But many people now see cross-cultural proselytizing as a form of imperialism that disrespects the complexity of indigenous and foreign cultures.

To make matters more morally dubious, missionaries often leverage their superior access to information and wealth—enticing conversion by bundling evangelism with desperately-needed food, medical care, education or crisis services. To a missionary who sees the threat of hell as the ultimate risk and the promise of heaven as the ultimate good, the ends may justify the means; but outsiders see exploitation of power differentials, which most ethical codes discourage. Some countries now limit or constrain missionary activities to protect vulnerable communities and people.

Kosher slaughter rules – In the Torah, God commands that animals be slaughtered according to religious rules, and over time Jewish scholars fleshed these out. The animal is to have its throat slit with a very sharp knife that has no defects. It must be conscious at the time of the cut and must die from blood loss. These rules may have originally had health value for humans or animal welfare value for livestock, but with the availability of modern stunning, they have become controversial. Stunning animals immediately before slaughter can reduce suffering. Many Muslims think that Halal slaughter rules similarly prohibit stunning, but there is disagreement among Muslim scholars about this. Some animal welfare watchdog groups in Europe and the U.S. have advocated the banning of Kosher and Halal slaughter, while others are working to improve the practices in ways that reduce fear or suffering before and during slaughter.

Capital punishment – The human history of killing offenders goes back almost to the beginnings of written history. Death by axe, death by being thrown into a quagmire, death by beheading (which is where we get the term capital punishment), by boiling, by stoning . . . Over the millennia, all manner of death has been meted out for all manner of offences. The Hebrew Bible prescribes death for almost 30 transgressions ranging from murder and kidnapping to blasphemy and sassing, and the Quran is similarly enthusiastic about execution. (You can compare both texts here, or find out here if you deserve death according to the Bible.) Building on the Abrahamic tradition of blood atonement, the central premise of New Testament Christianity is structured around the idea that punishment by death can set things right.

For two hundred years, opponents of the death penalty have worked to reduce the number of capital offenses and the cruelty of execution methods or to advance philosophical and practical reasons for abolishing state-sanctioned killing altogether. Some of this opposition has been lead by devoutly religious people, and it has shifted thinking in a wide variety of cultures. Over 100 countries have abolished the death penalty.

Intolerance of other religions – In order to recruit and retain members, religions often make exclusive truth claims and promise exclusive rewards. Many also threaten those who fail to join or who choose to leave with punishments in this life or the next. Islam’s prescription of death for apostates is just an extreme version of this broader dynamic.

Inquisitions and holy wars have been seen by past generations as righteous because they compelled people to live according to the one right law. Even short of bloodshed, religious teachings can be profoundly divisive. Calvinist Christianity teaches that human beings are “utterly depraved” and can be redeemed only by accepting the crucifixion of Jesus as a personally-transforming gift. Believers learn to mistrust others, who by definition lack any basis for morality.

But this one-way mentality doesn’t seem as righteous to many as it once did. Today, when faith is compelled through holy war and purges—as under the Taliban or ISIS–most people are morally appalled, and people increasingly see religious tolerance as a virtue rather than the vice our ancestors believed it to be.

– – – – –

Some people believe that the moral rules handed down by our ancestors came from a supernatural deity and should not be questioned or changed. The gods know best, and even if their rules may not entirely make sense, ours is not to question why. In the Evangelical community where I grew up, people sometimes tried to find practical explanations for biblical rules. But when that failed, “because the Bible says so” was reason enough.

By contrast, secular ethics teach that the timeless part of morality is not the rules themselves, nor the authority of the rule-giver, but rather an underlying principle. Morality, in this view, seeks to promote the wellbeing of sentient beings, especially human beings but also other animals. Actions that reduce suffering and harm or increase wellbeing are moral. To maximize wellbeing, rules have to change, because what promotes thriving in one situation may cause harm in another...”

https://valerietarico.com/2018/07/22/when-religious-teachings-become-immoral/

Valerie Tarico is a psychologist and writer in Seattle, Washington.

[whatwewear2church]

THE JUDGMENTAL CHRISTIAN

By: Alicia Sarai Blog: Simplilici.com

Disclaimer: I consider myself a follower of Christ, a Christian, a believer and any other title you may call me… NOTHING I say is to throw anyone under the bus or single out anyone.

I write this from experience, I write this because like many others I too have been singled out by a “judgmental person”.

It's funny that even though I am what my peers and society may label as a “Christian”. I have had other “Christians” slander my name, talk bad about me openly and even based on the length of my hair, “fleekness” of my makeup and the “oh.no its above the knee”length of my skirt draw their own conclusions on my personal walk with God, sexual orientation, and personality.

I am not saying that ONLY Christians judge, NOR am I in any way attacking anyone who self-identifies as a believer or a Child Of God..I am merely stating facts based on real-life circumstances that have allowed me to draw this conclusion.

Matthew 7:1-5 Judge NOT, that you be not judged. For with judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brothers eye, BUT you do not notice the LOG that is in your own eye? or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye, when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take out the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brothers eye.

John 7:24-ESV Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.

James 1:26 If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this ones religion is useless.

John 3:17 For God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world , but that the world through HIM might be saved.

I could go on and on with biblical references on JUDGING… But I think my point has been taken.

While sitting in service one day the idea of this post came to mind. I thought about how many times WE  as the body of Christ have run people out of the Christian faith based on our own personal God-FREE religious judgments. Its interesting to assume that God is speaking to us when we see that “unsaved” sister walk into church, her extensions fiery red, her skirt semi painted onto her flesh and her heels exceeding the 5 inch “holy ghost check” maximum and immediately assume her lifestyle, banking information, SIN card number, baby father number, sexual partners number and the list goes on.

One of the worst possible things that I have encountered in my 25 years on this planet we know as Earth is concluding something preposterous about someone with little to no information about anything concerning their daily life and personal walk with or without God. I hope I am not the first or the last to admit that I myself have played the role of the “Judgmental Christian”.

YES. I SAID IT. Shocking?

I have seen people in and out of church and made up in my mind that there was no way that person could have been a Child of God looking the way they did. With my Maxi Denim Skirt, elbow covering sweater and makeup-less face I concluded that anyone who looked a certain way could not be a reflection of Christ.

But where did that mindset come from? I grew up believing that anyone who was not of the Apostolic denomination, wasn’t exactly “saved”. Why I thought this was beyond me but constantly hearing things said about certain people brainwashed me to think that Holiness was in long skirts, natural 4C curly hair and the good old Jamaican Tam that covered your hair not only on Sundays but at the occasional Wednesday Night Service and Youth Service on Fridays. Modesty was preached 24/7 at any and every Conference or Convention I attended. The “Sisters” were ridiculed for wearing their hair a certain way, skirt a certain length and for wearing “too much” makeup.

Being Holy, or being Christ Like was about my relationship yet I only ever heard stressing on clothes so you could imagine how that made me think and feel.  I am not saying that being Modest is a bad thing, but when all the focus is on the outer appearance... where does God come in?

Maybe the snares and looks and comments I received as I got older were my Karma for all the years of being biased and ignorant. Maybe the Jezebel comments and cut eyes were Gods way of humbling me to show me how others may have felt when  I myself turned a blind eye to them.

I would hear about girls who got pregnant at young ages.

I would think to myself how on earth could she even think about Sex?  How as a Christian could she think its okay to let a guy do that to her, with her? I myself planning then that I would have my first REAL kiss when I was married.

(I kissed a few boys in Kindergarten and Grade 1)<- Doesn’t Count!

I was that girl that never gave in to guys comments, never gave in to the requests for dates and refused to let any guy so much as touch my hands too sensually.

God has a sense of humor I tell you.

I didn’t realize how anything could be possible until the rolls were reversed.

NO, I HAVE NOT EVER BEEN PREGNANT.

I knew sex before marriage was something I was told not to do since the day I was born. I swear. My parents never had the “birds and the bees” talk with my sister and I but it was something that they indirectly talked about with us. It was something they didn’t have to elaborate on.. we just knew.

That never stopped me though.

And it didn’t stop people from talking about me, from knowing my business and from gossiping about what I did.

“I heard Alicia had sex”

“I heard that at the... Alicia… and… were all having sex in the haystacks”

“I heard Alicia and… did...”

I had done the very thing I looked down on others for doing.

Now I realize that every life lesson makes you stronger and better and wiser. So that dark place in my life helped pave me into the woman I am today. People doubting me, giving up on me and writing me off because of my decisions only made me better and more determined to prove them wrong.

THANK GOD!

We have all been guilty of being judgmental, Christian or not. Many have had bad experiences with “church” people which have led them to stray away from churches on a whole or have a misconception of God without fully getting a taste of his essence. I am not preaching at all right now and do not want it to come across as If I am. I’m just an everyday girl who has experienced enough to validate my belief and trust in God.

I know how it feels to be looked down upon for not “waiting till marriage”, I know how it feels to have people assume the worst about you just because your skirt may accentuate certain body parts others may lack. I pierced my ears and was called a backslider, took a picture at the beach and had a “prayer meeting” called on my behalf, stood up for myself and been told I am rude and shaved and dyed my hair and been told I am a rebel. I know how it feels to not be someone and have people assume the worst.

Each day I strive to be open-minded without losing myself, to give others a chance and not conclude without knowledge. As Followers of Christ, we stress the small stuff, linger on the things that can be changed and write off people before even giving them a chance. God called us to love, he called us as the “church” to be forgiving, loving, honest and truthful. Kill them with kindness. Who are we to judge? We did NOT die for their sins, we are not God. And no I am not about to use the “Only God can Judge Me” line, I am just saying that unless we purpose in our heart to either help the people who need it the most then we have no rights to talk about them. Sometimes God sends the people you LEAST expect to have the most powerful and life-changing impacts on us.

In the Bible God used some of the most unique and unexpected people to deliver messages, preach his word and spread the Love of Jesus. Be careful who you look down on.

I've been typing for way too long and I want you guys to come back and read more of my posts so I am about to Shut up. But before I log off and finish watching Spider-Man (1994 Cartoon Version)…

God is Amazing and I am thankful that every day is a new journey for me, I’m striving daily to make God happy with my life, as hard as it may be. I am not perfect, there are moments I fall and cry but I make it my mission to get back up again and try again.

Don’t be like me. I was once, The Judgemental Christian.

[automatismoateo]

Why is my religious mother so obsessed with my sex life? via /r/atheism

Submitted August 14, 2021 at 03:11PM by Mrsgurr (Via reddit https://ift.tt/2XmRMt3) Why is my religious mother so obsessed with my sex life?

I was raised as a Christian my whole life but I have decided to become atheist without my mothers knowledge. She gives me regular talks about how being a Christian is important in today’s society because of an increase in secularisation. I’m a virgin and she knows this but every time I have a conversation with her she somehow turns it into a sex talk. She said “A lot of girls these days think they own their bodies and can do whatever they like with it but you can’t”. Isn’t that the point of having your own body? The fact that you can do what you like with it. She always warns me about having sex before marriage and tells me that I can’t be a 'whore'. Bare in mind, I have never shown any interest in the opposite sex in front of her or shown any signs of hypersexuality. So why do I get this sex talk so regularly when I have never shown any interest in taking part in sexual activities?

I am 17 by the way so I am not a child and I feel as though she’s not actually looking out for me but she’s rather afraid of what other people will think. Her mindset and blatant misogyny makes me feel sick. It’s not even like she’s afraid I will end up as a teen mother, she is just so obsessed with my sex life and always says “please make sure that you keep your virginity”.

She is also obsessed with my body, the clothes I wear and where I go. I have had to resort to faking modesty whenever I go out so she won’t be suspicious of me. For example, when I leave the house I have to wear modest clothing so I will leave the houses in an oversized hoodie but when I meet my friends I remove it and wear the actual outfit I intended to wear. I now present myself to her in quite a hyper masculine way by wearing oversized clothing, boyfriend jeans and not wearing crop tops in front of her to throw her off. Some of this clothing isn’t really my style but I try to masculinise myself so I look evidently unattractive to the male gaze and yet she is still suspicious of me.

Why is she so obsessed with my non- existent sex life and what should I do about this?

P.S: my other is very narcissistic and uses her religion as an excuse to put down other women so no, she isn’t looking out for me at all.

[relig270]

Free the hair and seal the discrimination

For the longest time, veil has been such a controversial aspect of Muslim women’s lives which essentially brings up the question on whether veil is a tool for oppressing women or can it have other meaning as well. For generations, we see Muslim women are dressed a certain way and that is quite unique and indifferent to Western or majority Christian countries. There are some required dress codes and regulations that have been passed down from generations as well as through Islamic preachers and the Quran. Another aspect of Muslim women’s clothing is that it’s a personal choice for many, however, through most Westerners perspective, such regulations of women’s modest clothing reflect to something bad or negative which entitles to “Muslim women need saving” (The atlantic). While of course, an individual can choose to dress however they want, regardless of the religion. But, in Islam—modesty in clothing is tied with both men and women’s clothing attires advised by the Quran for reducing male gaze, comfort and to ensure the external embodiment of disciple and thereby reinforce the process of internalizing disciplinary practices (Mossiere,G). In spite of Muslim dress codes and regulations, Muslim women’s all around the world have taken a stance at changing the “Muslim clothing” into “Muslim Fashion” and these new females take advantage of the polysemy and flexibility of dress language to express various discourse about Islam (Geraldine Mossiere). The article also mentions “The dress codes that they adopt exemplify various combinations of these new Muslim feminist subjectivities, incorporating their religious identity as pious and veiled Muslim women as well as their position as modern and Western citizens” (Geraldine Mossiere).

Specially after the September 11 (9/11) 2001 terrorist attacks in New York, “the subsequent war on terror, veiled Muslim women received much attention from Western political, media and academics” (The conversation). Hence, Islam, hijab and facial features like beards became pollicised, hence associating them with terrorism and negativity. However, many Muslim women have taken on the social media platform to express their culture, personal choices while maintaining their religious status of being modest and pious to change the perspective of pro—created meaning of Islamic beauty as well as its clothing tradition. These same women are using fashion to express personal choice, exerting political influence as well a potential rebelliousness to the conservative style. Hence, “wearing these ethnic styles is not just a way to reclaim local aesthetic traditions—it can also be a way to express social or political critique by valorizing alternative sources of national pride” (The atlantic). Young Muslim women at present time, are utilizing social media platform like Facebook, Instagram as well as Pinterest to flaunt the Muslim clothing style as iconic and indifferent which also represent Hijab as a positive part of the daily attire. Infamous internet hashtags, such as; #hijabfashion #Hijabista aims to challenge the popular culture where Islamically is defined modesty and veil (the conversation). This challenges and movement changed the discourses about Muslimness and womanhood—also to represent how Muslim women are content with their Livelihood and how they are influencing their lifestyle while engaging and performing Islamic foundations and guidelines. These Muslim women have taken on the Internet to represent themselves as a fashion savvy consumer (the conversation).

To add onto that, Nurul Shamsul; who is the first veiled woman in New Zealand to participate in the Miss Universe New Zealand beauty pageant contest and she explains: 

She uses social networks as a way of breaking the stereotypical norms regarding the binary view of the veil and Muslim Fashion. In many of these influencer’s posts, they represent stylish, colorful head scarves with body-wrapping suits/dresses as well as high heeled footwears. One of the important aspects of these influencers taking onto social media is that it changes the hegemonic views of Muslim women as powerless and excluded from social life which encourages many other Muslim women to be more involved and inspired as well. The article by Conversation also mentions that “Far from a binary categorization of the oppressed and the oppressor these phenomena signal a worlds in which Muslim women hybridise their faith and piety with modern ideas of feminism, activism and consumerism” which speaks for the idea that Muslim women have a choice too on however way they want to represent themselves, and that it does not necessarily mean they are oppressed or they require saving due to their indifference in clothing choices.

To also portray another positive aspect of the rising Muslim women’s statuses, Prime Minister of New Zealand, Jacinda Ardern’s decision to wear headscarf after the Christchurch mosque attack has also earned her a praise worldwide. Jacinda Ardern’s choice for wearing a headscarf has made many Muslim women feel safe to practise their faith in New Zealand and it showed mental support for many Muslim women that have suffered which is also a rare act of compassion from a non-Muslim person as well as from non-Muslim country. She also mentions on a Guardian article that “If in wearing the hijab as I did gave them a sense of security to continue to practise their faith, then I’m very pleased I did”—which shows the significant changed in mindset of some people in regards to Islam, Muslim women and their clothing choices to liberate those who practise their faith. 

References: 

1. Bucar, Elizabeth. “How Muslim Women Use Fashion To Exert Political Influence.” The Atlantic, Atlantic Media Company, 1 Feb. 2018, www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2018/02/muslim-women-fashion-political-influence/550256/.

2.  Mossière, G. Modesty and style in Islamic attire: Refashioning Muslim garments in a Western context. Cont Islam 6, 115–134 (2012). https://doi.org/10.1007/s11562-011-0180-9

3.  Anoosh Soltani PhD candidate, and Hannah Thinyane Principal Research Fellow. “How Muslim Women Break Stereotypes by Mixing Faith and Modesty with Fashion.” The Conversation, 7 Sept. 2020, theconversation.com/how-muslim-women-break-stereotypes-by-mixing-faith-and-modesty-with-fashion-110767.

4. “As a Muslim Woman, I See the Veil as a Rejection of Progressive Values | Yasmin Alibhai-Brown.” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 20 Mar. 2015, www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/mar/20/muslim-woman-veil-hijab.

[y-michal]

Not pure

"You're pure like white snow..." his words echoed inside me and I felt like roaring loudly. It's definitely not the first time others' impressions of me sounds like a pink cotton candy. Pure, innocent, good girl, good woman, angel, soft...

I get it. I grew up in a religious world, in which my own urge to escape my feminine body found supportive excuses, via ideas such as purity, modesty, goodness, humility etc. For years, I've tried to escape my form through denial and hate, as well as spiritual mindset that dismiss the body. And I guess that it can still be felt to some degree, in the nuances of my manners and appearance.

But his comment opened a raging voice in me- "I'M NOT WILLING TO BE STRIPPED OF MY HUMANNESS!"

As I've been listening to that voice, in the last few months, I was able to understand that I'm wishing to be seen in all of my humanness. But what I can only do, is give myself exactly that. Keep allowing my flaws to exists without shame, keep exploring my own boundaries without guilt, keep diving into my own sexuality and sensuality with or without a partner, keep learning my desires, keep failing and rising, keep hurting and healing, keep on tending to my womb's pain; Keep on doing it all in my own pace, free of ideas of what's considered liberated enough, free enough, feminine enough, desirable enough, authentic enough or raw enough.

The upcoming holiday is called Shavuot, and its essence is the acceptance of the Tora. A wise teacher said "each organ inside me, which I accept, is an organ that the Tora can enters to...so in this time of holiday, take the time to go through each and every organ of yours and accept it".

To be a constant pink cotton candy isn't my desire. To be good, I acknowledge and willing to face the bad. To be soft, I acknowledge and willing to be rigid, to be sacred, I accept the body and her needs. (As for 'purity', this is a manipulative notion, which been used for centuries in patriarchal systems and religions, as a double edged sword, to control and degrade women and their bodies, so thanks but no!).

I'm human, I'm a woman, and each organ of mine is a wild animal.

And I don't mind if you're unable to see me fully, but I'll be damned if I'll miss out on my own fullness.

[eastessence]

Display Elegance and Style by Wearing Modest Hoodie Abaya Dress

When it comes to women’s fashion, what she wishes to wear should be her prerogative. While progressive societies have always promoted this standard, the situation isn’t the same in conservative societies where women are bound by religious principles and cultural sentiments. Muslim women across the globe have to abide by Islamic rules and regulations when it comes to clothing. One of the most important elements that people from Muslim community especially women need to bear in mind is modesty, which certainly limits their fashion choices.

However, over the years the industry mindset has changed for good with fashion retailers and brands venturing into this otherwise cornered segment by offering wide range of Islamic wears for men, women and children alike. The best part of these clothing range are the contemporary designs that clearly reflects, as well as preserves the Islamic heritage with a touch of modernity. In other words, these fashion wears are designed to fulfill the desire of Muslim women to look fashionable without compromising on modesty.

One such fashion attire that offers a perfect blend of style and modesty is a Hoodie Abaya dress. Since, Islamic fashion wears are also offered by online retailers, one could purchase a Hoodie Abaya Dress Online. As a leading online retailer of Islamic clothing, East Essence offers wide range of modest fashion wears at affordable prices. Based out in the U.S, the clothing retailer caters to the cultural and aesthetic needs of new generation Muslims based out in the west.

So, if you are a Muslim woman looking out for Jersey Abaya Dresses Online or any other Abaya dress, you have the option to choose from wide range of color, fabric and design options. Apart from the Muslim community, these stylish yet modest wears have also attracted customers from the non-Muslim community, who have now started respecting the Muslim faith of modest dressing without sacrificing style.

[tinyandfearless]

I’m Sorry, My Sister.

I’ve been what I’ll refer to as a “half-minority” my entire life. My mother is Hispanic, born in Colombia. I have her dark features, but my father’s pale Irish skin. I’m often asked “where are you from? No, but, originally?” To which I respond, “Atlanta. Really, I was born here.” Then, there’s some commentary about my strong eyebrows or thick hair, a few laughs, but an awkwardness so tangible I bet you could slice it with a butter knife. I’m often lumped in with the phrasing “white people,” but I don’t want anyone to ignore the difference in my upbringing and my culture. My face still gets hot when someone slams a minority group or immigrants, even on accident. I am allowed to have a stake there, too. 

I was raised hearing “I grew up in a third world country; don’t you complain to me,” from a woman I would call a feminist. She started university at sixteen, earlier than most her age, and she moved to the United States by herself at eighteen. My mom tells it like it is. And she’ll tell you off; I’ve watched her do it. She speaks her mind. She speaks up. She’ll discuss her opinions openly, tell you when she thinks you’re wrong, and she freely offers advice. She mows the lawn. She rarely wears makeup because her skin is so rich and her eyes so captivating, she doesn’t need it. You wouldn’t be able to guess her age, until maybe she smiles her toothy smile, and the laugh lines on her face whisper to give it away. She was never afraid to kill the black widows that snuck onto our back porch, and she raised me to be fearless, too. Daringly fearless. Hopefully fearless. Lovingly fearless.

My point is, I know how to boldly, but uncomfortably sit on the lonely border of two things that, while seemingly polar, make up who I am.

I’m white, but also first generation American-born. I’m a feminist, I think. I’m a feminist, I hope. But I didn’t march.

So, let’s start there. I didn’t participate in the women’s march.

I didn’t decide not to march because I am opposed to the women’s march. I didn’t not march because I don’t think women’s issues are real, valid, and that progress needs to be made. I didn’t not march because I am not pro-women and longing for equality. 

I didn’t even think “I will not March,” before the fact. I enjoyed reading the posters. I found joy in friends’ posts about their positive experiences. Now, looking back and wondering, “why didn’t I march,” maybe I need to apologize. 

I’m sorry, sister; I didn’t know how.

I have never felt invited to the Modern Feminist Club. 

I love women cheering on women. I love when we choose not to compare ourselves to each other and champion each other instead. I love when we are heard, when we listen, when we feel, and then express those feelings.

It’s important to me that you know I care deeply about ending sex trafficking, which is a human rights issue, but affects mostly women. I believe fiercely in a future where everyone has access to clean water, so that women and children in developing nations can receive education and spend their time how they choose.

I have watched friends, who were victims of sexual assault, remain painfully silent, blaming themselves or shrugging off the incident because they didn’t want to “cause trouble.” I’ve hated the mindset and upbringing that lead to their assault. I want rapists to face the full extent of justice, not receive a slap on the wrist.

I am pro-contraceptives. I need birth control. I need it for my health, and I’ll go into the details of that that no one really wants to hear, but I think are important to the argument anyways. I’ve needed them long before I was married. I have endometriosis. I want to have kids some day, and I need to be healthy in order to do so. I also experience so much pain from an unfortunate hormone imbalance when I am not on birth control that I am physically debilitated two weeks out of every month. I can’t go to work. I can’t go to class. The benefit of being able to plan my eventual pregnancy is excellent. And I think that’s an important right.  

I’m also pro-life. I don’t want to tiptoe around that. I’m sorry if my saying so caused you to lose faith in me. I’m sorry if you’re disappointed. I don’t mean to argue with you or to even prove my point here. I just want to be able to be honest about what I believe, without feeling the need to hush up about certain topics. I am so tired of being villainized. I’m sick of feeling uninvited to the girl power parade. 

I’m not pro-life because I want women to suffer, as I once saw it phrased in a tumblr text post. I hurt for women who experience unplanned pregnancies. I’m so sorry if you have experienced that fear. I’m so sorry if you felt alone. I want to tell you that I do not know your pain, but I know it exists. I’m not ignoring you. I care for you. 

I simply believe life begins at conception. It’s central to my faith. And while I don’t want any woman to suffer, I don’t want any baby to die. That being said, I know it’s more complicated than “we’ll make it illegal and it’ll stop.” I know it is a deeply complicated topic, and I don’t believe people who are pro-choice because they care about the mothers of unplanned babies are evil. Please hear me, I do not think ill of you. I don’t agree with you, but you aren’t apathetic; I can see that you care and ultimately want to promote what you believe is right. So, while we disagree and it is an important issue to me, I will still stand by you, my sister.

I’m not sure when feminism began to seem synonymous with pro-choice or left wing or free-the-nipple or a political stance. I’m conservative. I’m religious. But please don’t place me in a hard and fast category in your mind, as if you have me all figured out. I still believe sex ed is important. I still want equal pay for the woman who does the exact same job as a man who is favored more. Just so we’re clear, feminists before me were women of faith, too. Women like Harriet Tubman, Ida B Wells, and Maria Stewart, who paved the way for the rest of us, were women who hoped to be close with women and close to the heart of God, too. 

My favorite feminist quote comes from Ann Voskamp. “Girl, the world has enough women who know how to do their hair; it needs women who know how to do hard and holy things.” Those words rattle my bones; I want to be a doer of hard and holy things. I want to understand my sisters, rather than judge them. I want to stand up for those unlike me, not simply promote one way of life as best or above. I want to rally behind you and hold a sign that empowers you. And I want to march the earth, every day, standing tall and asking for respect. I’m powerful. My voice matters. 

But if my feminism looks different than yours, if my personal feminism promotes dignity through modesty and a traditional interpretation of biblical marriage, can I still sit at your table? I feel lonely and “shh”ed. And there are more like me, I know there are, but I’m worried that we are so scared to speak up that we’re walking right by each other. We walk the tightrope border of conservatism and feminism, and I don’t want to be silent anymore. Maybe I’ll receive backlash. Maybe your questions and my answers will create that same awkward tension I’m used to as a half-minority. But if feminism is being bold, sharing my ideas, and reaping the consequences with a straight back, here I am. 

I’ll dare to say it. Ladies, we will not bring about equality by sticking up for ourselves and those like us; we will bring about equality by loving all our many, different neighbors.

[joholij]

Orthodoxy and mental hygiene.

What is striking in discussions about being straight / gay is that there is no mention of the fact that the organization of society in the United Nation’s and The Netherlands has opted for the recognition of multiformity of people, subcultures that freely relate to each other with respect for existential civil rights in accordance with the universal declaration of human rights.

Emancipation of citizens and (secular) society are important goals in social development.

There is no same-sex marriage, marriage is legal protection, a contract between two people who love each other and live together regardless of their sexual composition.

Churches (religious beliefs) can set rules for their own members / believers. If you do not feel comfortable with that, you can change your denomination or religion. The fact that god can also be an invented concept and that philosophy of life is very diverse makes modesty of a religious denomination necessary in the realization that there are many other options. This is often completely missing in the social debate.

What is special is that a totalitarian political ideology and also religious orthodox movements want a state structure based on doctrines compulsory for everyone where subcultural, existential diversity is inserted within the intended evangelical and / or orthodox religious (coercive) system such as that in Iran and Saudi Arabia for example takes place. This is seen as undesirable and does not fit with a free mindsets and open society.

Compulsory heterosexuality is a denial of one's being, relational love is not exclusively determined heterosexually by the person's constitution. Approximately 15% of the citizens (2.7 million Dutch people) do not have a heterosexual constitution. The right to individuality and diversity in full human dignity is being damaged; politicians and spiritual leaders are responsible for their statements and cannot justify themselves with their own image of God and Bible interpretation. People damaged my being and poisoned my love experience and well-being with negative labeling.

Mental hygiene is then lacking and their ideology has a socially violent and relational disruptive effect.

Citizens and society, changes in the composition of spiritual movements, secular development and secularization deserve more discussion in emancipating citizenship. Neither Bible nor Quran is a universal norm and appears to be multi-interpretable and rarely valid as valid arguments. Freedom of expression and religion is not meant to discriminate, disqualification of groups of citizens based on individuality or subcultural characteristics is therefore unprecedented irresponsible behavior.

Johan Olij

January 2019

andragologist,

education, supervision and policy