#religious jokes

[thelunarsystemwrites]

"It's not Adam and Steve it's Adam and EVE!!- 🤬😡😠🤬🤬😠" Actually what if Adam was aroace, and it's Eve and Lilith?

[eclipse081403]

I can just imagine aliens interested in researching Humans being super confused on how human came to be

[rat-rosemary]

Jesus is such a chill and fun character and his story had some really cool and intense scenes and art and themes (tho it's a bit gory, so I get it's not for everyone) but he got really bad luck with the fandom :[

Like, I get being hiperfixated on something, but that doesn't mean you get to be disrespectful of other fandoms right? And they're so weird about shipping and smut and etc....

Jesus I'm sorry you should be enjoying a thousand fanarts of old man yaoi and some incredible angst fics about your Daddy issues but your fandom is so weird about you and completely ignore cannon for their weird fanon headcannons :[

[juniperandjustice]

[crewdlydrawn]

you can thank pain-induced insomnia for this one

[blitz0hno]

"you gotta be like Jesus" said the Fundy Christians

They then proceed to crucify every nice person who tries to reason with them, just to fulfill the prophecy; what devotion!

[humor--humour]

Dave Allen - Religious Jokes Irish comedian 😂😅

😂😅

American Reacts To Dave Allen Amanda Rae

😂😅

Dave Allen - Priests & Nuns

😂😅

Sometime in the 19th century, the Royal Navy attempted to finally dispel the old superstition among sailors that beginning a voyage on a Friday was certain to bring bad luck. To demonstrate the falseness of this belief, they decided to commission a ship named HMS Friday. Her keel was laid on a Friday, she was launched on a Friday, and she set sail on her maiden voyage on Friday the 13th, under the command of a Captain James Friday. She was never seen or heard from again.

[horriblejokesdaily]

What's Jesus's favorite sport?

Lacrosse

[korya-elana]

Omg my patient was talking about the hospital’s Christian priest and one of the sisters walked in and Kay had to front for half a second because I very nearly said “Oh, speak of the devil” 😂😂😂

~Em

[wierdkid20]

I dunno man, doesn't seem like such a Good Friday to me

[the-real-phoenix-prime]

Well, then. 😂😂😂

[reptussanctus]

WHAT’S WRONG BABE

YOU HAVEN’T TOUCHED YOUR GRILLED CHEESUS YET 🥺

[uwudonoodle]

[yourneurosis]

I was told today I need Jesus, so I went to a priest and said, “Sorry daddy I’ve been naughty. How do you want me to pay for my sins? Are you going to *punish* me?” I don’t know why he yelled at me, “IT IS FORGIVE ME FATHER FOR I HAVE SINNED!” And then he told me that Jesus hates me. Which is weird because I thought Jesus loved everyone. The priest said “EVERYONE BUT FAGGOTS!!”

[samuriadi-unfiltered]

if god ever dammed me the lightning bolt would be the size of a town

[wyrmwould-star]

God made doves, and angels lost their fucking minds