#relationship: shitty geezer

[skygemspeaks]

do you guys want to hear about my sanji's siblings love him au?

who am i kidding, of course you do

anyways

ichiji, niji, and yonji run on facts and logic. they're programmed to have loyalty to their family, and sanji is part of that family, even if he can't do everything they can do.

and the way they see it, it just makes more sense for their loyalty to lie with the brother they shared a womb with for nine months over the father that insists on abusing all of them.

it's not sanji's fault that he's weak and has emotions. that's an objective fact. he was born the way he was. it could just as easily have been any of the rest of them that were different.

so sure, they'll follow judge's orders, because they have to, because it's what they were born to do, but they're not gonna take any of the shitty things people do or say about their brother, least of all their father

sora adores her children. because judge hurt them terribly by taking away their free will, but that's none of their fault, and they're trying in the only way they know how. she's patient with them, trying to teach them about morality and the importance of doing the right thing

at their age, they don't really understand it, but they do notice that people are more likely to do what they want with little fuss if they treat them the way their mom says they should

but then their mom dies, and maybe the loss of his wife is what pushes judge over the edge but he lashes out at sanji, because somehow in his mind sanji is the reason for sora's death. if it weren't for the poison she had taken, which had turned sanji into the weakling that he was, sora would still be alive

ichiji and the other two are furious. they hate this empire that their father has built for himself - and that little fact, that they can hate it at all - goes unnoticed by all of the kids

but they do hate it, and with their mother gone there's no reason for them to stay. so they take sanji, and they take reiju, and the five kids escape from the Germa kingdom and never look back

they work whatever odd jobs they can. and then one day they come across zeff - after he had been rescued from the island he was stranded on for months

and this zeff still has both legs and he didn't suffer as much because he didn't have a child to give up all his food for, but he still decides to give up pirating. he lost his entire crew in that storm, and he has no desire to sail the seas without them

so he had set out to fulfill his dream of building a floating restaurant for himself. he's living on an island in the east blue, and he comes across these five children. one of them, sanji, latches onto him as soon as he finds out that he's a chef. slowly, over the months, their relationship develops and grows stronger.

zeff isn't an idiot, he knows there's something wrong with these kids, but he doesn't pay it much mind. he treats them like any other children, with all the kicking and scolding that entails

normally ichiji and the others wouldn't put up with this kind of treatment from anyone, but they see the way sanji and reiju latch onto zeff, the way the two of them follow him like lost puppies and positively preen at any positive attention he gives them, and they decide they'll put up with it.

it's not like the crappy geezer's kicks actually hurt the three of them

so zeff takes reiju and the boys in, even if it means that food will be a little tight until their restaurant gets off the ground.

the 5 of them grow up on the baratie, protecting their home and surrounded by the gruffly affectionate cooks that are drawn to their father's way of life. it's so different from the environment that they had been born into that they don't know what to think. sanji and reiju take to their new life like fish to water, but it takes a little longer for the boys

yonji respects sanji like he respects his other older brothers. he watches sanji, sees the way he loves and hurts and grows. the intensity of the things sanji feels is completely foreign to yonji, but it stirs an unknown feeling in yonji's heart. he doesn't know what it is, but it makes him short-tempered with his brother

by now zeff has been around his kids for a while, and he's more or less figured out what's up. yonji learns from zeff that what he's feeling is jealousy. that he wants something sanji has that he doesn't

which should be impossible.

yonji doesn't feel things.

zeff shrugs and doesn't argue. he just leaves his kid to figure things out on his own.

after that, it happens slowly, so very slowly, but over time, ichiji, niji, and yonji start feeling more and more emotions. their emotions are still pretty dull in comparison to the frightening intensity of what sanji, reiju, and other people feel, but they cherish this new aspect of themselves.

and it turns out that sanji hadn't been the only one affected by their mother's desperate attempt to save her babies. the others had as well. it had just taken a little more work to draw their humanity out of them

by the time don krieg makes the ill-fated decision to attack the baratie, they still don't have the depth of emotion that other humans do. and maybe they never will. but they have enough to know that they will destroy anyone who even thinks of threatening their father's treasure

and they have enough to shed tears when their brother - a piece of their hearts - sets off with the future king of the pirates

it hurts, to have him leave them. and that hurt is something they wouldn't have had to feel if they had remained the way they were as children

but even that hurt is precious to them

because it's a product of how far they've come, and how much they've gained

[zoneofsmites]

Sylas Maeve has a complicated relationship with names - true names. Names make a person real, and he is not real he is a tool. He is a knife. He is the thing that stalks in the dark. He belongs to nothing but Bhaal.

His own name was ignored and forgotten for most of a century, going by titles like ‘the Dark Urge’ or giving random names to strangers in the rare cases it was needed. He did not need a name because he belonged to Bhaal, he was a knife to be used and not a person.

In the same vein he never called people by their name either. If he needed to refer to someone it was often by their title, or a descriptive nickname (short one, blondie, duster). With a slightly more personal nickname for those he is ‘closer’ with. It isn’t as if Sylas doesn’t know their name, it is just that he refuses to use it. Easier to consider them less of a person when they don’t have a name. Easier to kill those you do not consider to be real.

Even without memories he keeps up the habit, although he does not remember the original reason. The nicknames are a lot more fun loving and personal - less of a description of their appearance and more about who they are as a person and how Sylas perceives them.

Naturally I have made a list of nicknames for companions and other npc’s (as well as some mutual's ocs) which you can find below the cut:

Companions

Astarion - Starlight / Star

Astarion is a creature of the night but mostly Sylas thinks stars are pretty, and he also thinks Astarion is pretty.

Also -> a-STAR-ion

Karlach - Giggles + Boss

Karlach is cheerful but also she makes Sylas laugh.

Boss is said in reply to Karlach calling him 'Soldier'.

Shadowheart - Thorns + Orchid

Thorns because she’s pretty like a flower but more dangerous than she appears.

Then later she also earns the nickname Orchid when she tells him they’re her favorite.

Gale - Sparkles + Chef

Gale is sparkles because of the malfunctioning sparking rune he was pulled out of and just magic in general.

Chef because he is the party cook, though Sy will only refer to him as Chef when he's actively cooking.

Wyll - Waffles + Hero

Waffles as in waffling. Sylas has a hard time understanding Wyll’s speech sometimes because he can say a lot of things without actually saying anything - but it’s used affectionately.

Sometimes Sy will call him 'Hero' because of the whole Blade of Frontiers thing with his little pose.

Lae’zel - Shivs

Shivs as in a shiv, as in shivving. She is sharp like a knife in dialogue, personality, but especially in combat. She is a fellow weapon.

Halsin - Honey

No, not like that.

The substance, not the pet-name. Halsin is a sweet man and they first met when he was in bear form. Hence, honey.

Jaheira - Harper + Crone

Sylas doesn't give her a nickname at first because he's sure she'll rip his tongue out, so just Harper.

Later when she join their party he begins to call her 'Crone' jokingly when he knows she'll be a good sport about it.

Minsc - Little Guy / Tiny (Boo: Big Guy)

It's ironic. Minsc didn't get it originally but after explaining it a few times he found it hilarious (he laughs every single time now).

Important NPCs

Enver Gortash - Tyrant + Ruffles

It was always tyrant in public. However, privately Sylas called Enver 'Ruffles'. Namely because of his fancy frivolous way of dress, but also in part of his more charismatic tendencies and speech.

Gortash is also the only one Sylas would refer to by his actual name on rare occasions pre-tadpole.

Orin - Little Spawn

(derogatory)

Orin might be a bhaalspawn, but she is only a fraction of Sylas' age. Young, little, small, insignificant spawn. (emotional warfare in my shitty bhaalist family? exactly as likely as you think).

Saravok - Rust

Saravok was the leader of the Iron Throne, and he failed. A constant reminder of his lack of achievements. (emotional warfare in my bhaalist famil--)

Ketheric Thorm - Geezer + Chuckles

There aren't many people Sylas knows who are older than him, and he did not age gracefully did he?

Chuckles is ironic - lighten up dickhead. (considering Sylas wasn't a cheerful guy back then either, kind of hypocritical).

The Emperor - Daisy -> Blue Blood / Blue

When masking himself as the Guardian Sylas wanted to call him Ruffles (his guardian looks like Gortash), but it didn't fit quite right to him so he landed on Daisy. (daisy being the EA version of the guardian)

After the lovely little reveal of who the Emperor actually is he earns the name Blue Blood. Which is both a play on him being a mindflayer - with their purple-ish blood - as well as the Emperor name.

Withers - Bones / Bone man

What can I say here that you don't already know. The man is a corpse, he's bones. Bone guy.

Raphael - Kitty

"The mouse smiled brightly, it outfoxed the cat. then down came the claw, and that, love, was that." <- Sylas is letting him be the cat in this analogy in the most condescending way he can think of.

Secondly, I'm sure it would piss him off - and perhaps turn him on or wahtever, idk he is a huge bottom after all - which is mostly the goal.

Isobel - Snowglobe

The protective barrier over Last Light Inn looks like like a snowglobe. Isobel earned this nickname from Sylas so he can keep reminding himself why he shouldn't kill her.

Dame Aylin - Crackles

Crackles is in reference the the golden cracks of her marble-like Aasimar skin as well as the display of her power being quite the light-show.

Other NPCs

Zevlor - Chief

It's kind of on the nose. He is the leader/chief of the tieflings in the grove. Sylas does not change this nickname even in act 2 - he is still chief.

Roland - Twinkles

Funny little wizard twink guy who does magic tricks and wears shiny clothes.

Volo - Peacock

That goblin lady that decides to keep him as a pet had the right idea calling him a little bird that coos. If it ain't broke don't fix it. And with his stupid outfit and parading around, he's definitely very peacock-esque no?

Mol - Killer

She's his little killer! She's killing it!

Mol is also just very driven and Sylas recognizes a lot of potential in the kid, and is generally just very fond of her.

Arabella - Sticky

Out of context its a little odd but sticky as in sticky fingers, the little thief that she is <3.

Yenna - Little Chef

Yenna likes cooking, but because Gale is already 'Chef' she is the little chef!

Githyanki Egg - Eggsy

it uhh, well it is an egg? But just saying 'the egg' quickly morphed into a little nickname. Once the kid hatches it is never going to escape this nickname.

Special OC Edition

Donnie and Sylas exists together in one verse between me and my friend melon. But I also like to think of nicknames for my mutuals OCs that Sylas might give them if he knew them because its fun <3.

Donnatello Arivae (themelonlad) - Sunshine / Sunny

Donnie is not just a Paladin of Lathander (Oath of Devotion) which already makes the nickname fitting. He is also just, so sweet and bright it is almost sickening. (ironic for the half-drow to be so related to sunshine)

Kyvir (crossdressingdeath) - Birdie / Little Bird / Pretty Bird

Bards sing and chirp like birds - although Kyvir mostly plays instruments he does have a lovely singing voice. The point is that Kyvir and birds both make music. Little bird because he's short, and pretty bird because he is pretty of course!

(is it narcissistic to call kyvir pretty when they have the same face preset? eh whatever, it's true!)

Roz'zith (veilkeeper) - Broody + Glim

It is a little true isn't it? Roz might not be actually broody all the time but they do appear to be pretty broody from the outside. It's not actually meant to be a nagging nickname, Sylas and Roz are alike in being rather quiet actually so it's an attempt at being relatable. (where is that +3 charisma going to? not socialisation I can tell ya that)

Glim is apparently Faerûnian for 'eye-catching' as well as 'beautiful'. What can I say I'm projecting my love for the pretty githyanki onto Sylas.

Ezra (wilchur) - Dumbbell -> Bells

I'm sorry but all the insta-fail INT rolls are being immortalised in nickname form. It's ok this is a solidarity nickname, Sy only has 8 INT to speak off post-tadpole.

Dumbbell would just shortened to Bells at some point when they would know each other longer - just calling him Dumbbell when friends feels unnecessarily rude.

[arboretium189]

I'm working on a Transformers: Animated/Elfen Lied Crossover Au called 'Animaverse', where Lucy the diclonius queen was adopted by Prof. Sumdac few years before meeting the Autobots thus making her Sari's older sister.

In this universe, everything went exactly the same like the canon but with a change to the plot and storyline.

Lucy was Prof. Sumdac's first daughter; whom he adopted 9 years ago before the start of the canon universe of Transformers: Animated.

She's also his personal intern and assistant and she would become his successor when she at age to lead the company.

Prometheus Black/Meltdown has a crush on Lucy, due to her being vastly different from the other humans, metaphorically and physically. However, she didn't return Meltdown's sentiments because he keeps creeping her out with his weird talk of biomechanical science along with his fierce rivalry with her adopted father.

Eventually the Autobots make their appearance during the roach monster attack at the Sumdac robot plant.

However, the only difference is:

Lucy has interest in the Decepticons and their history and wanted to know more about them.

Lucy gained an Allspark powered wristwatch and key. (Like Sari's but with different function and ability such as 'unlocking' a bot's hidden mod and ability)

Her interest in Decepticon history and origins greatly impressed Megatron to the point that he ordered Lugnut to recruit her.

She befriend Blackarachnia; even though she hurt Sari and Optimus. Knowing that the techno-organic femme was actually suffering and just needed someone to talk to.

Lucy gained a battle armor in the likeness of Optimus and surprisingly Megatron.

After learning about their(Decepticons and Autobots) tragic dan grim background, Lucy decided that she's not the only one wronged by her society.

Lucy defend Optimus and his team from Sentinel Prime and Ultra Magnus during the Elite Guard's arrival on earth. She even rudely called Sentinel an Astroid Chinned Head fucker, right at his face. (Yeah, fuck you Sentinel! Nobody likes you and your shittiness) and Ultra Magnus an old, ignorant, foolish geezer.

But she's in friendly terms with Jazz, Blurr, Jetfire, and Jetstorm. Thanks to them for not being racist and xenophobic like Sentinel ass Prime.

And as for the relationship Lucy has with her family and the bots so far:

She greatly respect and admire Optimus and vice versa, but in Optimus's case he saw Lucy as a daughter/younger sister figure that he must protect. When he's down or in a bad mood(cough*Sentinel and his shittiness*cough), Lucy would always try to cheer him up with various goofy pictures and funny meme even introducing him to popular pop culture and songs.

Lucy sees Ratchet as a grandfather figure and deeply cares for him. Ratchet on the other hand saw her more as a daughter figure; he also appreciate her wanting to help him with his medical work.

Lucy saw Bumblebee as an obnoxious, gremlin younger brother and tries to keep him and to extense Sari away from trouble.

Lucy get along with Bulkhead just fine, although she wanted him to be less insecure and nervous of himself and his destructive nature. She even defend Bulkhead from those who ridiculed and make fun of him because of his natural clumsiness and sheer strength and size.

Prowl and Lucy are nature buddies. In fact, Lucy is the one who introduce him to earth's nature and ecosystem.

Lucy deeply cares for and loved Prof. Sumdac and Sari, because Prof. Sumdac is the one who give her the love and care she missed from her early childhood after adopting her into his family and Sari is just her precious little sister. Sari also loved and respect Lucy, though she wanted her to be more open and less secretive.

Lucy and Blackarachnia shared a complex friendship. It started with Blackarachnia trying to kidnap Sari for her key during Halloween but ended up kidnapping Lucy instead. Rather than being terrified of her, Lucy is fascinated by Blackarachnia since she never knew there's actually a bot with spider mode. Blackarachnia was confused, shocked, and astonished by this but still keep up her cold and snarky persona. But soon this started to lessened when she started bonding with Lucy; she even showed Lucy her more vulnerable and softer side when she's alone with her. And she got the honor for being Blackarachnia's first female friend.

Megatron was fascinated by Lucy, due to 1.) Saw her slicing up Starscream with literally nothing after his revival from his 50 years stasis through the news, 2.) Her interest in Decepticons and their history, and 3.) Her history and her past.

Lugnut was at first disturbed by Lucy due to her ability to harm and slice up bots by literally standing still and seemingly staring at them menacingly. But soon put this aside when Megatron asked him to recruit Lucy to the Decepticons.

All three personalities of Blitzwing have different opinions on Lucy:

Icy showed interest and fascination in her ability to move and slice objects without even touching them.

Hothead just wanted to fight Lucy to see how powerful she is for an organic, but soon regret it when she showcased her powers; with him ended having his left arm sliced up and a bruised ego.

Random affectionately called Lucy 'kitty girl' because of her cat ear shaped horns. He once try to kidnap her because he can't resist her cuteness, much to Ratchet and the other Autobot's horror. Not that she mind being held by a three faced Germany bot

Lucy absolutely despise Starscream because he threatened to hurt her dad and Sari during his first appearance.

Lucy and Jazz shared great mutual respect and understanding with each other. They even share a fair amount of interest in music that sometimes they would chat about it during Jazz's free time.

Blurr is eternally grateful that Lucy is able to understand and keep up with his rapid speech pattern that he can't ramble nonstop to the rosette, both about his job and missions and his personal problems. Lucy on the other hand is a good listener and just listen to the blue speedster rambling about his thing, including his crush on his superior; Longarm Prime/Shockwave.

Jetfire and his brother Jetstorm are fascinated by Lucy and her cool 'powers' and Lucy saw the two as precious babies she must protect.

The Dinobots; especially Grimlock hold great respect in Lucy, even considering her as their alpha because she ask her dad and Optimus to not melt them down.

Then, shenanigans and hijinks are in full swing when Lucy try to get the Autobots and Decepticons to get along with each other, which seem to be impossible given their history with one another.

She even try to hook Optimus up with Megatron, much to their dismay and the other Autobots and Decepticons' horror. Though Blitzwing secretly supports this idea, to which they formed a matchmaking inner circle together. (With Blackarachnia, Sari, and surprisingly Bumblebee)

Things getting more chaotic when a mysterious young boy who has pink hair and horns like Lucy suddenly appeared, who claimed to be Lucy's younger brother along with the attacks of the Quintessons and their attempts to take over both Earth and Cybertron.

Interaction with the bots

When Lucy is alone with Megatron and Optimus in a room;

Megatron: So, why do you try to hook me up with the Autobot prime, little one?

Optimus *is sitting right next to Megatron *: For the last 100 times my name is not just Autobot, it's Optimus Prime!

Lucy: Well, you two have something in common like... You two wanted to make Cybertron a better place where Autobots and Decepticons can live peacefully together.

Both Megatron and Optimus looked at Lucy with an unreadable expression. Clearly unable to process the rosettes words.

Optimus and Megatron *internally*: I think she's gone crazy.

Or

Lucy and Blackarachnia having a girl time.

Lucy: So, I sliced Starscream's arm up and, geez he screamed loudly like a girl. Boy, my ears are still ringing from all his screaming.

Blackarachnia: Well, he's called Starscream for a reason.

Lucy: Because of what? Wearing high heels? Wearing feminine makeup? Calling himself leader of the Decepticons?

Blackarachnia: *giggle* No, his high ego and high pitch screams.

Starscream*from a distance *:Hey! I heard that!

Blackarachnia: See.

Or

When Sentinel insults Optimus or any of the bots.

Lucy*glaring at Sentinel darkly*: Oh, are you looking for trouble, motherfucker!? *She proceed in summoning her vectors*

Sentinel Prime: *scoff* What can you do, organic? I'm clearly bigger than you.

Lucy: Oh, don't be alarmed! Because I can do this!*Lucy sliced an iron beam right next to Sentinel with her vectors as it falls on top of him* That's for always calling Optimus a lowly wash out cadet and his family a bunch of losers! And Blackarachnia a hideous, ugly organic freak! Stupid pieces of glitch!

Optimus or Ratchet: *Pick Lucy up* Uh, Lucy, I think that's enough. Let's go!

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

Ok this hasn’t been asked abt BUT

I got OrangeJuiceVerse Stan on the brain (again)

Specifically in terms of his protectiveness.

In the last OJV ask I got I mentioned that he and Kyle have the most parental tendencies of the Star Seven, and boy oh boy do I have some thoughts on Stan’s knight in shining armor complex!

I won’t get into the Kyle part of that bc 1) I have talked wayyyy too much abt that on ao3 and here, and 2) that’s a whole separate long ass post and I would probably combust.

But!!! First focusing on the M5:

So growing up together they were all generally referred to as “Stan’s Gang”, which he was like wait why are they my gang but then he grew to love that bc they were his people. He loves them with all of his soul (ojverse Stan is a lover for sure) and he is EXTREMELY protective of everyone and kind of (smh this man) sees himself as the dad of the crew. Done with everyone’s bs, the “fun” parent. A lot of that comes from his resentment of Randy, his desire to keep everyone out of true danger and not be flaky despite his own problems. This is especially poignant with Kenny.

So Stan and Kyle VERY much see Kenny as “their egg” (yes I’m borrowing from the “Stan is a protective father” note of that episode) and they really look out for him growing up bc of his shitty home life. Really all of the M5 have a soft spot for Ken, but Stan and Kenny understand each other on a spiritual level. Though Stan doesn’t consciously know abt Kenny’s immortality and IS his Ride Or Die Disaster Bi in all things reckless, the second something goes wrong he’s there, swooping in and reminding him that “yeah you can be a crazy bastard, but don’t you dare die”. He’s less overbearing than Ky gets when Kenny gets hurt, but he’s there to be like “hey man you’re good, you gotta be careful tho”. He was the first to INSIST that he pay kenny in full for his art and commissions stuff regularly through their entire lives.

With Marj, it’s really, really complex. I mentioned before in my OJV Stan hcs (thank you to the wife for that ask btw) that he was the first person she went to when she realized she was a girl! Bc he’s always been pretty emotionally honest and accepting of everything, and she was dealing with her crush on Kenny too and Stan notoriously THINKS he’s slick in being a massive simp so two birds one stone lmao. He was pretty clueless at first but that protective instinct kicked in and he was like GIRL WE GONNA FIND YOU SOME RESOURCES! Also, I’ll do a post abt how NO ONE in the OJV Star Seven is neurotypical soon, but i briefly mentioned in The Wacky Adventures of Craig And Kyle that Marjorine has the ‘tism as well, and Stan is NOT the person to go to when you’re having a meltdown, but rest assured he WILL get you to someone who is. Like she can tell him “Stan I’m feelin a little…” and he will IMMEDIATELY find her Kenny or Kyle. Kyle’s obviously his go to when things are out of his emotional scope, and that extends to Craig later down the line.

So TWEEK!!! Oh god Tweek and Stan’s relationship in the OrangeJuiceVerse is so important to me. They’re the first encounter of the Broken Bottles Quartet, and that moment when Kyle figures out about Tweek’s problem, Stan was full man-with-the-plan mode about how to help him! Before he takes Tweek to AA, he’s at ye ol’ meetin’ hall talking to the old geezers in the local group and it’s like:

“Hey, Stanny Boy, good to see you back, how you healin up (smh I did break his ribs for good reason I promise) got anything to share?” “Actually yeah, I’m gonna bring someone with me in a few days, but you guys HAVE to give him space he gets really nervous.” And the longtime AA peeps who are prone to being overly friendly back off and let Tweek just listen that first time, and Stan is consistently checking in and with Stan’s support Tweek slowly gets more comfortable, and Stan is SO fucking proud of him and he’s his sponsor for a LONG ASS TIME before he officially is.

As for Cartman, once he moves away, Stan will call him up pretty frequently to check in, like “hey fatass how’s the wedding planning company coming?” “Fuck off, hippie did you get the-“ “YES I got the beef jerky club membership quit sending me that shit” “heh, sweet.” “Asshole, but seriously are you doing okay?” “Yes you photosynthesizing dildo. The Jew looks tired in his last facebook post check on him” “I got him, Cartman” “you guys are assholes” “we love you too” “gross” smh theyre so unserious.

But yeah that’s this episode of me not shutting tf up abt OrangeJuiceVerse

[chefalier]

i have father, he’s not you | a sanji fanmix; pretty self-explanatory about his feeling for VInsmoke Judge and Zeff. (LiSTEN: youtube / 8tracks / spotify)

Side A (intro-track 09): VINSMOKE JUDGE. Most tracks are rock songs containing anger and hatred mood about shitty father who left his helpless child and keep seeing him as a failed son.   

Side B (track 10-outro): ZEFF. Most tracks are slow rock and pop hitting right in the feels about a son holding on dreams and leaving home to make his father proud.

note: for 32 Days of Sanji prompt: family. Bon Jovi’s track isn’t available on spotify. Annotation is under read more.

INTRO: I’ll be coming home just to be alone. 'Cause I know you’re not there and I know that you don’t care. I can hardly wait to leave this place. By the time you come home, I’m already stoned. And you scream at me. I can hardly wait till you get off my case. This is not a home, I think I’m better off alone.

01.  To my father, it's your son. Are my screams loud enough for you to hear me? Should I turn this up for you? I needed someone here to help me. But you don't know how to listen. And let me make my decisions. I sit here locked inside my head, remembering everything you said. All your insults and your curses make me feel like I'm not a person. And I feel like I am nothing but you made me so do something. 'Cause I'm fucked up because you need attention you couldn't give.

02.  I was born in a house of glass and silver floors. One question with two answers I asked. Anywhere is better than here, away from you. A little boy who had been wearing my face had told me I was born to be given away.

03.  Am I the greatest of your arsenal? Or am I the latest of your art of war? You're so good at what you think you do to me. You're no good at what you said you'd do to me. Because of you walking out of my life, there are words that don't belong.

04.  Dear father, in your eyes, I just never added up. In my heart I know I failed you, but you left me here alone. You say that I'll never change but what the fuck do you know. I'll burn it all to the ground before I let you in. I can't forgive you because I remember everything.

05.  It's in the nighttime. Am I lonely? I watched you go. My friends always wonder, ask "How you been?" Am I mistaken? He was a man who didn't want me anymore. He never round. How much did you get for selling out my name? Still won't forget those hazy days.

06.  Father, tell me, where did I go wrong? You never made me feel like I really belonged. I just don't know what's ahead. I'll just keep my hopes locked away instead.

07.  Hey dad, look at me. Do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do? But it hurts when you disapprove all along. I'm never gonna be good enough for you. I try not to think about the pain I feel inside. It feels like you don't care anymore. 'Cause we lost it all, nothing lasts forever. It's just too late and we can't go back.

08.  You were my oppressor. And I have been programmed to obey. And now you are my handler. And I will execute your demands. Leave me alone. I must disassociate from you. I won't let you control my feelings anymore. And I will no longer do as I am told. And I am no longer afraid to walk alone. Let me go, let me be. I'm escaping from your grip. You will never own me again.

09.  I don't want a family who would damn me and resent everything I am. I don't need to prove to all the ones who feel that I need to fit in. I won't ever tell you that I failed you. I'd rather start life over again. I don't want to fight you, just to spite you. But I'm not afraid to take you out. I'll never lose who I am. No, I'm sorry to say there'll be no sacrifice today.

10.  I was a stranger, and you came to my side. And you said "Oh, you're alright now." And you were so knowing I felt so lost and confused. I barely knew you. Someone save me. I need you there when the nightmares and dreams have come true. Yeah, we belong

11.  He's well aware how vital a father figure is, how big of a responsibility it is. Discipline to prevent things when they're older. His only son is only 21. His dream is my dream, my dream is his dream. And so he targeted to be the dream guardian Guarding it from anything and anyone whose harming it. But in his heart, he knows the hardest thing about it is. Giving up on his dream to be all about his kid. Sometimes a dream is all that we have. We have to continue to dream. 'Cause once it is lost amongst other thoughts then what really are we? I close my eyes and I can see the sacrifices he made for me. Put it aside for his family. Yeah, so I'ma keep it alive.

12.  Daddy couldn't save himself. But he looked at me as what he could have been. Now I know what I've got to be. Everything that'd make him proud of me with my second chance that he never had. ‘Cause his dreams are at the bottom of his bottle and he's never gonna be who he ougtha. And he knows... that he's no hero but he's doing what he can, trying to make me a better man. He made me what I am. Stopped me from becoming another you. And I'm proud to say that he is my father.

13.  With a gentle touch, all these burdens and such fears are wiped clear. Who says you are to stay? It's far from giving up. And then I'm lifted up. And from the floor, he prays away all my pain. "All the things you can't control should never destroy your love or hopes." I found a place where we belong. All I've ever wanted was to be happy and make you proud.

14.  I know I took the path that you would never want for me. I know I let you down, didn't I? So many sleepless nights where you were waiting up on me. I've been around the world and never in my wildest dreams. Would I come running home to you? I've told a million lies but now I tell a single truth. There's you in everything I do. Remember when I broke you down to tears. Please forgive me for all I've done. So I bet my life on you.

15.  I couldn’t believe it there was a tear in my old man’s eye. When I was leaving, he tried to say goodbye. I learned a little thing called sacrifice, givin’ up on dreams, lost a couple fights. I couldn’t believe it when the tears came to my eyes. It isn’t easy standing on the other side. ‘Cause I heard my old man in my mind saying, “Stand tall when you stumble. Stay proud when you’re humbled. All the lessons you learn won’t be the ones that you plan. And when you go on without me, walk like a man.”

16.  When my strength was gone, and I just gave up on life. In my darkest place you were my guide. And you told me that I should live my life to the limit. When you fall down, get back up and fight. Well, the shape of my heart don’t lie. I’m determined when you trust in me, it’s all I need. Nobody can tell me they were there for me before you came around. There was pain in every heartbeat but eventually you built my resolve to be strong. Now I’m hoping, if you hear this. You believe that all that I do is to make you proud. Make me stronger, so I rise up.

17.  Do you know how much it hurts to go and leave it all behind. I see you in my mind 'cause you were right there all the time, far away in another place. Give my soul just to see your face. Wherever you are is where I want to be. Look around and tell me what you see. Everything, everything but me. No matter how many miles stand in between, in my heart is where you'll be, holdin' on to all our dreams.

18.  Because of you, I am standing tall. My heart is full of endless gratitude. You were the one to guide me through. This is what we dream about. But the only question with me now is do I make you proud? Stronger than I've ever been now, never been afraid of standing out.

OUTRO:  When I left home to be who I am, some people said "No Way." But I laid it all down, gave everything. In my head rang the words that my father said, "You're never far. I will be where you are. Son, I know there'll be times you will feel all alone. And when you come to me, I will open my arms."

[persephonesfill]

perfect stroke 💋

fills the "Makeup" square for @stevetonygames Team Fuck 💖

💋💋💋💋💋

Tony had worn makeup for as long as he could remember. It started as a simple trick to help him look his best. Howard had been so concerned with their image. Taking a cue from his fellow socialites, he had found out concealer hid the dark circles under his eyes so well after a long night out partying like it was his last night on earth.

Slowly he started incorporating it into his daily routine. Blush for color and mascara to accentuate his eyes and a subtle, clear gloss to keep his lips moisturized. Makeup had never been strictly a feminine thing to him. It was as much a part of what made him, him, as his suit. Early that morning, he would go about his routine, as usual, his makeup being the last step, and he was out the door to Stark Industries for a long, dull day of board meetings. He had thought he had escaped them when he had stepped down as CEO, but Pepper had other plans. 

He shot Steve, still out on his morning run, a quick good morning text, and he was out the door. 

Steve replied right as Tony was walking into his office. "Miss you already. Don't forget about date night," and a string of heart emojis that made Tony laugh. Steve thought they were a cute way to jazz up your texts, and Tony didn't have the heart to disagree with him.

Eight hours later, Tony pondered just what emojis Steve would send to warn him of his impending death. Of course, Tony's last meeting of the day had run too long because his luck was just that shitty. He may or may not have garnered a few speeding tickets in his rush from Stark Industries, but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle. 

Flowers in one hand, Tony all but flew to his personal floor where Steve would be waiting and, hopefully, feeling merciful. 

He willed the elevator to glide faster, not that it would work. He glanced at himself in the chrome panels. His hair had that windswept look that Steve liked, falling into his eyes. He would have to get it cut soon. His skin maintained a healthy flush from his earlier sprinting, lips plump and...shining with gloss. In his mad dash, he had forgotten to clean his face.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Wiping it on his sleeve would only make him look like a clown. Tony knew that Steve was open-minded but didn't want to take any chances. Their relationship was still too fresh. He didn't think he could handle it if Steve ever rejected him. His heart hurt at the mere thought. 

Before he could devise a plan, the doors whooshed open to his penthouse suite. His heart sank, his face quickly becoming the least of his worries as he took in the candles and rose petals leading from the elevator to his modest dining table, big enough to seat four. Steve had cooked for him Italian by its smell; the scent of garlic, onions, and tomatoes was as familiar to him as his own face in the mirror. JARVIS had dimmed the lights, smooth jazz playing softly in the background. 

And Steve was nowhere to be found. 

Tony stepped out of the elevator, the doors closing behind him. If Steve wasn't here, maybe he would have time to get cleaned up. Or maybe...Steve had given up on him all together. 

"So much for you guys," Tony muttered to the bouquet of roses and wandered over to the trash can where they would meet their doom. 

"Well, don't do that," a voice said from behind him. "They're too pretty. It'd be a waste." 

Tony stiffened and slowly turned to face Steve. 

He stood with his arms crossed in front of him, head tilted to the side as he looked Tony over. Damn, he looked good. He wore the navy blue button-up that matched his eyes, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and clinging to his biceps for dear life. 

"I'm sorry," Tony said in place of a greeting. "Honey, I'm so sorry, the meeting ran late. I swear those old geezers love the sound of their own voices more than I do—"

"Be quiet." 

Immediately Tony closed his mouth.

Steve never shouted or yelled at him, even when they were in the field; he had this mesmerizing ability to shut Tony up like no one else could, speaking in that low yet firm voice that didn't demand respect. Tony gave it to him anyway. 

"Give me the flowers." 

Tony handed them over wordlessly, stomach twisting in knots as he watched Steve go about finding a vase for his flowers and filling it with water. He didn't dare move from his spot, yet that didn't stop him from fidgeting. He drummed his fingers against his thigh just to give himself something to do until Steve finally acknowledged him. Steve had made no mention of his face, leaving him on edge, sweat beading beneath the collar of the three-piece suit he still wore. 

Roses squared away, Steve walked right up to Tony until they were face to face. His eyebrows knitted together, and Tony knew there was no more hiding his secret. 

Steve grabbed Tony by his chin. Tony tried to turn away, but Steve's grip tightened ever so slightly, a subtle warning that made Tony's breath hitch. 

"Look at me," Steve demanded, and Tony did as he was told. He braced himself for the inevitable disgust, for Steve's handsome face to curl in a nasty sneer because that's what they all did whenever a man did something outside of what was "normal." He tried to tell himself that Steve would never treat him that way, but that didn't stop the ugly thoughts from coming. 

"You're so lovely," Steve murmured. His thumb swiped at Tony's bottom lip, smudging the gloss he painstakingly applied earlier that day. A familiar heat pooled deep in Tony's belly as he sucked the pad of Steve's thumb into his mouth. Steve pushed it in deeper, eyes darkening at the way Tony's lips parted to take him. Tony whined when Steve pulled his thumb back. He wanted, no, needed any part of Steve to be inside him until he didn't know where either of them ended or began. Tony wanted to sink to his knees and show Steve just how much his approval meant to him. 

"You're not mad?" 

Steve chuckled, the sound making Tony's heart soar. "How can I be mad at such a pretty face?"

Tony had no choice but to kiss him then, deep and slow like they had all the time in the world. Steve's hand went from cupping Tony's chin to the back of his head. His fingers worked through Tony's hair, massaging his scalp. Tony moaned into his mouth, his hands working at Steve's belt. 

"What are you doing?" Steve broke the kiss, and Tony wanted to whine. Sometimes, he craved Steve like a fiend, needed him like he needed air to breathe. They had only been dating for three months, but Tony knew he loved him. It hadn't been at first sight like the movies made it, but there had been a spark there when they first met that fateful night in Germany. A spark they had tended to until it consumed them with its intensity. 

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Tony said, breathless. He yanked Steve's belt from its loops and tossed it to the side. They'd find it later. Hell, maybe he could convince Steve to use it on him. "I'm saying sorry." 

And then he sunk to his knees. The kitchen tile bit into them, and he knew he would be sore later, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. Not when Steve looked at him like that, like Tony was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. 

"Baby, you don't need to say sorry," Steve said, although, judging by the bulge in his trousers, he wasn't opposed to Tony's idea of an apology either. 

"No," Tony agreed, unzipping Steve's fly and wetting his lips. "But I want to anyway." 

He worked Steve's pants down to his knees. Instead of diving straight in like he wanted to, Tony took his time. He wanted to make Steve feel good, wanted to make Steve feel his love. 

Pushing Steve's shirt up, he pressed kisses to Steve's stomach, tongue darting out to lick into his belly button, savoring the way Steve shuddered against him. Grabbing hold of Steve's thighs for leverage, he kissed his way down, down, down, worshipped the sliver of skin where Steve's hip met his thigh, his breath ghosting over Steve's cock. 

"Tony, for fuck's sake," Steve groaned, his hand resting atop Tony's head. "Thought you were saying sorry, sweetheart." 

Tony smiled against Steve's hip and, finally taking pity on him, turned his attention to what rose between Steve's thighs. Steve's cock was a thing of beauty, not too thick or long, and flushed the prettiest shade of pink whenever Tony riled him up. 

He licked at the pre-come leaking from the slit, its taste salty, but not unpleasant, on his tongue. 

Steve cursed, throwing his head back and exposing the long, graceful column of his throat when Tony took him into his mouth. Tears gathered in the corner of his eyes, Steve easily filling Tony's mouth past its limit. Not that Tony wasn't going to push himself anyway. Steve helped him along, pushing insistently at Tony's head, moaning under his breath, "So fucking pretty, so good for me. You can take it, come on and open up for me." 

Steve's cock nudged the back of his throat. Breathing in and out slowly through his nose, he took Steve deeper into his mouth until his nose was flush with Steve's stomach. 

Bobbing his head, Tony looked up at Steve through his lashes. He could imagine the image he must have made; mascara streaking down his face, cheeks bulging from whenever Steve fucked into his mouth. 

Later on, his jaws and knee would ache for days, and he'd have to send his suit to the cleaners, but right now, all he could think was that he had never felt more beautiful.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Omg how about this. Angel wasn’t that close with her dad because he was always too busy for her and since pops didn’t have a good relationship with his daughter they both are really really close and she’s always taking care of him and they do things that they couldn’t do with their own father/ daughter together and just super cute fluff and all the shie hassaikai members including Kai really like how caring angel is to pops and vice versa 😆😆😆😆 please please please do this if you can 😢

He had you on his lap, involuntary grinding his hips against yours in the middle of the make out session he never once thought he would be craving it... guess he let himself got lost on his lustful wishes.

But you two stoped immediately when knocks on the door echoed in the room, making Chisaki let out a deep grunt as he burried his face on the crook of your neck making you giggle.

"Come on capoo~" you cooed before kissing his cheek sweetly "Must be something important."

"It better be." He growled as hee begrudily got up from the bed and snatched his mask to put it on. You giggled at his antics, remind you fairly of a grumpy and pouty child as you got up as well and nested your hair a bit to not leave suspicions.

He opened the door with a glare which quickly vanished as he saw the elder with crossed arms and resting on the wall.

"Pops." He bowed a bit in respect as the old man chuckled, uncrossing his arms and smiling when you also did the same actions as Chisaki.

"I see you both were interrupted by this old man here, apologies." He said as Kai shoked his head a bit.

"No. What is it? Is something wrong that you need my assistance?" Pops let out a laugh as he waved his hand in a signal to tell Kai it wasn't nothing like that.

"I was just going to invite (Y/n) for tea my boy."

... what?

Did he just heard that right? The old man really just knocked on his bedroom to call his girlfriend... for tea? He must be joking. He must be.

"Well-"

"I would love to!" You said happily with your hands clapped behind your back making Chisaki to send a look to you which you quickly noticed "What?"

"I.. we were just-"

"You just said I wasn't bothering boy." The elder spoke as Kai just got lost on his tracks.

"No, not like that just-"

"Then you wouldn't mind me to just borrow your (Y/n) for a little. Sometimes us old mans just need a little chat." You giggled at the state of confusion Kai was before you pecked him one last time before going to the another room.

Pops's smile soon went into a frow as he looked up and down Chisaki.

"Did you at least used protection?" He swore his face almost combusted.

"W-What the-?!Why do you even asked this?!" The elder chuckled and waved his hand while walking away from the now embarrassed as hell man.

"Just relax Chisaki. Relax."

"HOW DO EXPECT ME TO RELAX AFTER THIS YOU OLD-?!" He huffed while placing a hand on his face, feeling his face burning on his mask and gloved hand.

.

.

.

"We're back!" You gleamed as Kurono helped you with the groceries.

"Are you alright?" Chisaki asked as soon as he got close to you and you smiled at how much this man had lowered his walls with you.

"Hm! I brought some things for Pops if you wont mind?" Kai furrowed hsi eyebrows and grabbed a box in suspicion out of the bags, eyeing like it had a secret code or something.

"Depends... what did you brought even?" You chuckled and pointed at the box.

"Those are some of his favorite tea." He widened his eyes at that and looked at you as if you were crazy.

"This thing almost cost a organ angel." You shrugged and showed more items. Kai furrowing more and more his eyebrows at your talking as Chrono helped to put the things away.

"You're going to spoil that old geezer this way." He mumbled begrudily as Chrono snickered while placing some pots inside the cabinets.

"Calunes (Y/n). He is just grumpy that you are paying more attention to Pops than him." He laughed in fear at only feeling the cold and death glare on the back of his skull and hearing your "aw's" from the kitchen.

"Dont be like that my devil!" You hugged his torso tightly "I brought somethings for you too!"

He scoffed and tried to gently push you away from him, denying that he could ever blush at your intentions or from being embarrassed.

"Let go of me." He growled as you nuzzled on his neck. Not even making anymore efforsts to pull you away.

.

.

.

He had his elbows rested on the support of the balcony, feeling the breeze of the wind hit his hair and face as he stared down at where you were watching Pops feed the carps with a gardening clothing since you promised the elder to help him with the yard.

"Actually it does amazes me to see that you don't the slightest bit of jealousy." He heard the voice of Kurono, not even looking at his direction. The man himself got right into his side with a cup of a drink as he offered it. He shocked his head and waved when you looked up and smiled at him, holding onto your summer hat and waving cutely at him.

"I don't. It did bothered me at the start... but not anymore. After all, after her, Pops enjoy (Y/n)'s company." Kurono rested his back on where his elbows were on while humming.

"Is not just that."

"Eto?"

"It has something else on it." Kurono smirked at his annoyed face as he sighed, looking at you back again.

"... (Y/n)'s father wasn't as shitty as my own biological one.. But still wasn't great." He sighed, observing you help Pops put some tulips on the garden "He wasn't present on her life while growing up, so for (Y/n), she just feel like is more like a stranger to a relative."

"Makes sense." The white haired man muttered before sipping his drink "Pops is like a magnet for people who didn't had a good father." He chuckled as Kai only hummed.

"Pops daughter wasn't a good child for pops... So, both of them work their loss of family members together." He smiled at you laughing at something Pops said as the elder chuckled at your reaction "So I let them be."

"Wow dude. (Y/n) really does make you mushy." He dodged Kai's attack before smirking.

"Oi! Boys!" The two male looked down to see Pops with crossed arms and a smirk as you holded onto your summer hat "Stop staring at us like creeps and come down!" You giggled as Kai tsked at the old man shouts.

[poison--ivory]

Uninviting Cataclysm (Alastor x Reader) Chapter 4

Part 1: link

Part 2: link

Part 3: link

For the next few weeks of your relationship with Alastor went from being worried about your well being to having hope that your life wasn't just a masterpiece of disaster. Things were finally looking up for you. Throughout those few weeks you got closer to Al, Mimzy, and Husk. Mimzy took some time to warm up to you and gave you the occasional threat now and again. You came to the conclusion that she cared for Al in a way that an older sibling protected their younger sibling. You can kind of see from her stand point of some random bim coming about and being the object of his affection.

      You felt the same way when Issacs's girl erratically showed up one night. They both came home from hitting the town and getting liquored up. Mama was a wreck that night yelling and hitting Isaac with her small hands. Papa escorted the young lady to the guest room, deeming her not stout enough to carry herself back home. Ever since that night you saw the young couple in a dimmer light. Losing some respect for your elder twin in the process.

 Husk on the other hand warmed up to pretty fast. Every time Al brings you back to the club, Husk and yourself play a couple of card games, losers usually paid for lunch. Teaching you how to deal all the way to keeping a straight face. He's a nice guy altogether, crunchy on the exterior and soft on the interior. But, you estimated that Al didn't like you talking with Husk for too long. He even goes out of his way to break up any sort of  conversation if he sees you two getting too close.

But, the most valuable information you received these scarce weeks were from the man himself.

 Alastor, the radio man is very hands on with you especially your waist. He wraps his lanky arms around your petite waist and gives you a strong, short squeeze before cuddling next to you. The only problem is he has to initiate the touching and he gets pissed easily. Al got so irritated when you gave him a shocking hug from behind and gave you a stern lecture with a small pat on the behind. You figured he hated people touching him without permission. To prove this theory you tried holding his hand when the two of you were alone. He yanked that arm back so fast all you saw was a blur. It took you around thirty minutes to get him to calm himself down. He spent the rest of the day with his hands in his pockets whenever you came into the room.

  Your courtier would never take you to his house, but he would happily go to your home and chat with the family. You were quite perplexed that your papa liked him. He's the type of dad that gets mad if his little girl even has a crush on another boy. Yet, it didn't stop there, even your brother found him likable. You're very liberated that they all seem to get along, but you were a little disappointed that they weren't as protective as you would think. Nonetheless, you felt very fulfilled with your man that day.

  Going on small dates are pretty joyful considering Al knows how to keep the fun going. If you even look like you're bored or uninterested he makes either witted jokes or invades your personal space in an attempt to fluster you. On some nights if you're really lucky he does more than just kiss you goodnight.

      Next, you seem to notice whenever family is brought up he talks about his mother in a very bright light. But, he never talks about his father. You brought it up to him and he dismissively walked around the whole topic. So, you never brought it back up instead you got him to talk about his mom. Apparently he gets most of his personality from his mother, Abigail. She taught him how to make jambalaya, singing, his etiquette knowledge and that prize winning smile that adores his features. This guy brings up his mother with such admiration that makes you question it sometimes. It's not that you mind his banter, in fact you found it amusing to hear him talk so fondly about her. You won't lie about feeling a little jealous from their closeness.

He's definitely a Mama's Boy .

 The last details you noticed were the really late night hunting he does. That lean frame of his is covered in scratches and small bruises. He tells you that most of his scars come from deer or jagged tree branches. It didn't explain the scratch marks on his neck. He told you those marks on his neck are from your guys last intimate moment together and without questioning him you believed his word. You don't remember clawing his skin. You left it at that and took him inside to mend his sore muscles.

   Blood underneath his finger nails took you aback, when he took his gloves off. You offered to help clean them, but he was really reluctant to even let you stare at them. You just wanted to help, but he thought otherwise. He stared at you from the corner of his eye before giving you a loud laugh and a resounding 'No.'. Like everything else in your relationship you just let it go without any further question.

 You should've known better.

    Nearing the end of June, with most people trying to find efficient ways of keeping cool. You were inside a hot kitchen all day baking a whole batch of beignets for a special little boy. Joseph's last night here was today and you wanted to make it fantastic for him. So, you invited all his school friends, neighbors and some of Claire's friends. You were going to spend most of your hard earned money on his go away party, however Al stepped in to pay for most of the expenses. He even invited Mimzy and Husk for entertainment wise. That incident still gave you butterflies and a genuine smile on your face.

     The only thing you needed to do was powder the pastries and get ready for the night of fun. Sprinkling the canister of sugar powder upon the delightful treats. Setting aside the sugary French styled doughnuts with a covering, taking long strides to the staircase you made it to your room to gather a simple long sleeved dress. Then, managed to freshen up with a nice bath and some light makeup. Packing the beignets in a proper container and double checking the  security of the vessel. Alastor should be coming by to pick you up in his newly repaired car, but the person at the door was not your Al. But, your dear friend Husky. He adored a simple white button up dress shirt, black slacks with polished black dress shoes and pulled together with dark gray suspenders.

"Ya ready, doll?" Blowing the rest his gasper smoke into the night air, He leaned his arm out for you to take.

"Where's Al," Taking his arm with a worried look on your face. ",did something happen?" He waved his hand off into the distance before giving you a slightly direct answer.

"He had some last minute stuff he had to take care of." You both stepped in his dark boiler and sped off down the pathway. "Don't worry he'll make it back in time for the party. Fucker lectured me about being late and look at what he's doing now." He scoffed.

"Well, thank you. For taking me in his place, Husk. I really appreciate it." Flashing him your most sincere smiles. His cheeks flushed a modest hue of pink before he scowled. Grumbling a quiet ‘welcome’ before his gaze drifted towards the road. The path ahead grew bumpier by every turn down a lane leading through the thick woods. We scheduled for the party to be held near the bayou at mid evening. So, by the time the party starts the sun should be setting.

   Husk and you managed to keep conversation up with the occasional bits of quietness here or there. Talking to Husk is like talking to your other self. Sometimes you could say the most random shit and he’ll come back with a response that will put a smile to your face. He’s basically like your second big brother with a small(not at all) drinking problem.

“So, when are you getting this car repaired,” The boiler hitting a jagged rock before settling back in place. “Because this gal has seen better days and probably a near death in its future.” You murmured under your breath.

“Fucking inherited this piece of junk from my old man. Shitty old fucker couldn’t even buy me a new one.” A loud, deep growl came from his throat and through one arm off the wheel, “Bought himself a new car, while I’m struggling to get to work and back.” He scowled and gave a great sigh before stating he needed a drink.

“I’m pretty sure there’s going to be lots of liquor, especially from those old geezers.” You knew that Mrs. Claire and her friends would sit outside their houses at dusk drinking away on those rickety porches getting buzzed. You know this because your papa used to take you out and sat you down on the weathered wood while he got tipsy with his friends. One sundown you took a sip of a stray bottle they left unattended, you being a small child decided it would be experimental to drink the loopy juice. You took one sip and gagged, spitting saliva and finally throwing up. Mama was so pissed, and wouldn’t let him go drink for months.

“Good fucking need it.” He seemed to ease up a bit just by the mention of booze.

“Why are you so wound up tonight anyway.” Raising an eyebrow over in his direction.

“Alastor didn’t tell me until last minute that I had to pick you up and I was already three-fourths of the way to the party.” His fingers gripped his hair, then slowly combed through it. “ Fucking asshole wasn’t even remorseful.” Adding in a quiet jackass in his blur of curses.

“What exactly did he say he was doing tonight, if you don’t mind me asking.” Conscious of his body language you observed his hands tighten on the steering wheel, his posture straighten for just a  second then went back to hunching. Husk’s Adams apple bobbed down and up, you wanted to chalk it up to him yearning for his alcohol. “It’s not something dangerous right?”

“Nah, it’s nothing dangerous he just had to run some errands and I guess he had more on his platter than expected.” He reassured you, his hand rubbed the top of your hands.

“I know he’s spontaneous, but this is kind of unexpected of him. He seems to love get-togethers or any social event with music.” You did have hopes for the two of you spending the night together. Maybe lay down on the grass and star gaze and probably watch Husk get drunk. “We do have time before the party, we could go and help him finish what he needs done.”

“No!” He groaned, slightly pulling on his face. “He already has Mimzy helpin’ him, and he would get pissed if I just brought you by.”

You really didn’t understand why you couldn’t drop by to help.

   If it was a work matter you would have noticed or heard about the situation, but nothing eventful really happened this week. The victims of the Bayou Killer reduced their number of murdered victims these past handful of weeks. Which makes you feel somewhat safe tonight and that’s sort of why you're throwing this party.

Maybe you're just reading too far into the situation and Al’s going to be just a few minutes late.

“It’s fine I know first hand how Al can get a little irked when people don’t follow his instruction.” Managing a small smile to your lips. “I was just a little curious about the whole ordeal.”

Inhaling a deep breath Husk created a deep groan that emitted from his throat. “Don’t beat yourself up, (y/n). Being curious about your lover is perfectly fine.” Taking another puff from his gasper and letting the smoke trail out the window. “ And to be clear here, he’s an asshole and you're just the clueless moth flying towards his flame.”

 Furrowing your eyebrows, “What’s that supposed to mean?”, you demanded.

   Husk made another groan emit from his throat, he’s been doing that a lot tonight. But, you never really see Husk worried, he’s usually either angry, smug or on the occasion vulnerable. He gets you overwhelmed with fear when he talks so lowly about himself, the whole scene of him with bottles on bottles lying next to his passed out body makes your chest clench.

“I’m not insulting ya it’s just,” He twirled his wrist in a small circle, “Al’s not some dandy who needs your concern. To be completely honest you deserve a fellow who would settle down and have a nice family one day.”

“What makes you think Alastor doesn’t want to have a family with me.” You tightly crossed your arms over your chest, “Did he mention any of this to you?”

“No, no when you have been with Al as long as I have you tend to pick up all of his quirks.” Another deep puff and that stick was gone. The smoke came out in rings carried off by the wind. “And his motives.”

    Opening your mouth to counter his claim, the upcoming lights flashed in your eyes. The lanterns strung up on steel poles lined along the large land area. You could already see a large portion of people starting in on their fun evening.

      Husk pulled over to the side where a small portion of boilers settled at. He stepped out and walked over to your side, wrapping his arm around your frame leading you down the path of bright lights. Prior to leaving you snatched the beignets from dash nearly pushing them out your mind beforehand.

      Joseph seemed like he’s having a despairing time with his friends. While they all played together, he sat himself down on one of the benches. Face cast away from them and back hunched over to rest his head on his arms. His little head turned towards your way, eyes closed, brows furrowed and crunching his nose up.

His gaze met yours and that little cannon rammed right into your gut. The air nearly left your lungs, but you deliberately gained your stance. “How’s the going away boy doing?” Returning his tight squeeze with an equally suffocating grasp. Little hands pulled on dress and a small face nuzzled into your side, Joseph’s petite face stared up at you, whites of the eyes turned pinkish. “Oh, honey, I know moving is really isolated, but look on the bright side. You can spend time with your cousins and experience new places.”

“It’s not the same.” His little voice raised a very squeaky octave. “They all make fun of me whenever I visit. They call me a baby for still sleepin’ in the same room as granny, they even called me daisy.” Shoving his face back into your hip, a large shiver went throughout his small body.

        You know from great experience about family troubles, but comparing your situation to Joseph’s would be like comparing a gator to a croc. They may look the same on the outside, but they have major differences. His family was more docile like a gator, while your biological parents were more like crocodiles, very aggressive and annoyed by others in their space. But, this isn’t your family, thank god, this is about your favorite little guy right now.

I should stop doing this to myself.

“I know this is hard for you and we can’t really change your granny mind any time soon.” Ushering him back over to the bench sitting him down next to you. “But, you still mail and call to us everyday if you want to. It might just make you feel better about being so far away from all the wondrous folk down here.”

“You really think that’ll work.” He raised an eyebrow.

“Well, yes I do think that’ll work just fine.” Stroking his hair out his face in the process rubbing the stray tears. “So, how does that sound.”

He slothfully nodded, looking up at the night sky. “I could have Aunt Shirley write my letters though. My penmanship is dreadful.” he quietly added, giving a small smirk direct at you.

    Shooting straight up, with a small bounce you pulled Joseph to his feet. “Now I made this party happen and got you to stay up late, just for you to pout and cry.” Flicking his nose you gave a soft smile. “How about we make this night better with a sweet treat.” You showcased the container and popped the lid off. The aroma of powder sugar met Joseph and your noses. His eyes shined a tad bit and that tiny smile that hung from the corner of his lips gave way of his joy. He sure did love these sugary confections.

“Thank you, (y/n). You made this night a whole lot better.” He gratefully took a beignet and practically shoved the pastry in his mouth. Humming that the French doughnut was indeed good.

     Walking off and setting the plate down you pinpointed Husk Downing himself with silly juice with some of the older guests. Deciding not being surrounded by drunk people was a good idea you made the decision of mingling with Floyd. He was probably the most reasonable person to approach. Upon seeing you he gestured to the empty seat next to him you gratefully took the offer.

“So, how has the night been faring you, Floyd.” Giving him a kind smile and gestured towards the party. “ Having fun?”

  He gave a noticeable shrug before answering, “I kind of wanted to stay home. But, you know how Clay can be.” He took another swig of punch. “Not that I don’t want to be here. I’m just tired from this week, ya know.”

“It’s fine to be tired. I’m pretty sure we're all tired from the month with the past killings.” A small groan came from your throat. “Why do you think the killings stopped all a sudden?”

“I feel like the fucker wants to put everyone on the edge of their seats and while we’re all nice and happy they’ll find another body.” Floyd’s outlook was depressing, but you won’t lie about thinking that way, too.

“You really think they’ll find one.” You questioned. All you got in return was a short and assertive nod.

“Mrs.Claire has a smart idea of sending her grandkid to Arkansas, especially in the condition she’s in. Barely can afford to feed one person on her salary.”

     Nodding you agreed with Floyd, Mrs.Claire does need help and sending Joseph to Arkansas would be her first step. You spent about the next hour talking to Floyd, Clay and his dame, Mama and Papa, your brother, Mrs. Claire and a surprising still standing upright husk. You grew worried about Al once you knew how much time flew by. Husk reassuring you that he’ll come later or in a few minutes. By the second hour it was already eleven o’ clock and by now you were more furious than worried. You decide to cool your mind with a few drinks and maybe a little liquor to ease your troubles. By your fourth drink you were a little tipsy and hanging off of Husk to keep yourself standing. You weren’t drunk. But you felt that if you let go you would fall straight into the dirt below.

       Suddenly, hands blocked your view. “Guess who, darling.” In your inebriated state you uncontrollably giggled. The anger is still there ;like a grain of stubborn sand in a bag. But, not so much as before. Turning around you pulled him into your chest.

“You said a couple minutes late, liar.” You huffed.

“I’m sorry, love, but something came up and I couldn’t leave it hastily finished.” A huge smile plastered his face, teeth and all. “ Do you think you could forgive me?”

“Well, I don’t know.” Liquid courage gave you the confidence of trailing your fingers along his chest. “ Maybe if I get something to ease my anger.”

Al’s eyes widened and that sharp smile turned into a smirk. “My little bearcat is getting handsy this evening.” He maneuvered his arm around your waist pulling you into his side. “Maybe I should take you home. Come here now chere.” He strolled back to his car with you in tow.

Maybe I should’ve been more cautious back then.

[fever-dreamer97]

Let’s Try This Again

Chapter 2: Memory Lane Can Burn

———————————————————

Damn, how is it already getting so fucking hot? Katsuki tugged at his collar as he continues his walk towards the meeting point with his gang of idiots. Even with his first button undone like it always is, there is no escaping this annoying-ass heatwave.

Hopefully, it will die down soon. Katsuki just started his second year at UA a few weeks ago, and he doesn't want his first few months dying of fucking heatstroke. He also hates the feeling of sweating all over his body.

With workouts and any other physical activities, he didn't mind because it cooled down his body. But he found the feeling just disgusting and suffering when it was just walking to school.

He keeps his leisurely pace to the coffee shop as he hears the loud honking of traffic and random useless chatter from extras he passes by on his way. Damnit, he should have grabbed his headphones before he left his house; he hated endless noise. Of course, he hated any noise.

"WHOA! LOOK HOW COOL ALL MIGHT LOOKS! ISN'T HE THE COOLEST, HIEKO-CHAN?!" A small, high-pitched voice rings out.

At the mention of the familiar name, Katsuki stops and snaps his head over to two little small kids gushing over a movie poster of the upcoming new All Might movie. One kid is a girl with wild cardinal hair, cerulean eyes, and pale skin, while the other kid is a boy with cropped white hair, blood-red eyes, and dark skin. Both looked to be in kindergarten and wore their respective school uniforms.

"LOOK AT HIM PUNCH THAT BAD GUY! HE CAN DROP ANY VILLIAN IN A MINUTE!" The boy shouted as he threw some air punches and air kicks. 'Hieko-chan' giggled and cheered at the boy's antics.

"YEAH! ALL MIGHT IS THE BEST! I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE MOVIE TO COME OUT! I WANT TO SEE IT WITH KAZU-CHAN!"

Katsuki guessed that was the boy's name because the boy's face suddenly bursts into a bright shade of red.

"O-Of course! I'm your best friend, baka! W-Why wouldn't I see it with you?!" He grinned with pride. The girl wasn't fazed by the slight insult but instead giggled some more at his comment. The two then went into a more raucous conversation about 'how cool and super powerful All Might is' and 'why he is the best superhero in the world.'

Katsuki stares at the two and was hit by the nostalgia of the scene. Slowly, everyone and every sound around him fade as he keeps his gaze on the two young children.

He's super cool, neh? A feather-like voice giggled in his mind and a hazy image of a radiant, wide smile and glowing, speckled cheeks filled his head.

Immediately, Katsuki chokes at the memory and snaps out of his daydream, his heartbeat filling his ears. He cursed under his breath, snapped his head away from the two brats, and stomped his way back onto his path.

Katsuki decides to deny how much hotter his face suddenly feels and just blames this stupid-ass heatwave.

But then before he gets the chance to cool down, he hears a recognizable yelp of "BAKUBRO!" and gets jumped on from behind.

"Oi, Shitty Hair! Get off! I'm burning up enough as it is!" He yelled at his idiot best friend as he elbows him in the face. Katsuki hopes to God that his best friend's observation skills are below par as usual, and he won't notice the change of color in Katsuki's face.

"OW! Damn, dude! You got my nose!" Eijirou says as he rubs at the sore spot. Katsuki lets out a 'tch' before he looks to his best friend.

"Shut up! You've fucking dealt with worse from me, so stop whining like some wimpy-ass bitch!"

"What's wrong, man? Didn't get your eight hours of sleep? I guess geezers like you can get pretty cranky when you don't go to bed before nine." A laughing Eijirou teased at his blonde firecracker of a best friend.

Katsuki quickly flipped him off before the two kept on their walk to the coffee shop. Secretly, Katsuki was glad that Kirishima managed to come at the right time, so he doesn't drift off into any more pointless daydreams and stupid memories.

"Seriously, though, what's up?" Spoke too soon.

"None of your fucking business, Shitty Hair."

"Eh? Come on, man. You seem a bit hotter under the collar than usual."

"I'm hotter under the collar because of this damn, fucking heatwave! Damn idiot."

Eijirou lets a sigh, deciding not to poke the bear further. "Alright, man. If you say so."

After this little back-and-forth, the two second-year boys get into a discussion about the mixed-martial-arts match the both of them watched last night and boasted how cool and fluid the moves were before they find themselves in front of the 'Kamui Woods' Coffee Shop'.

Both walked into the place and were hit by the overpowering scents of fresh coffee and pastries. Katsuki gagged a bit at the overly sweet pastry scent but is willing to ignore it if it means that he can get his usual Spicy Woodlands coffee drink.

"YO, GUYS, OVER HERE!" A boisterous female voice screams.

Situated over at a giant table in the corner of the shop, there was the rest of Katsuki's idiot gang: Mina Ashido, Denki Kaminari, and Hanta Sero.

Mina waved with no shame at how loud she was being as Denki and Sero hovered over some textbooks and notebooks scattered across the table. Denki looked to be in massive pain as he stared over his textbook, his hand buried in his electric blond hair as he rubbed his head in frustration. Meanwhile, Hanta giggled and snickered at the blonde's situation.

"Dude, I told you not to procrastinate last night with the English homework. It's harder this time." Hanta snickered.

"Bro, I was not gonna waste an opportunity to see Kyouka at that soccer match last night. She looked so damn hot." Denki said with a goofy smile.

"Yeah, but considering English is 1st period, you just screwed yourself."

Denki groans before he slams his forehead into the textbook.

"What up guys!" Kirishima yells back before rushing over to the table. Katsuki takes the opposite approach as he lazily scrolls behind.

As Eijirou reaches the table, he fist-bumps Hanta and drops his backpack beside the table before looking over at Denki.

"...Jirou had a soccer match?"

"Yep and this guy decided he would go and drool over his mad crush and take an L on today's English assignment." Mina giggled mischievously.

"Come on guys, give me a break! You would have done the same thing if you had the chance to watch your girl go kick some ass."

"Would make better sense if she WAS your girlfriend, you fucking idiot." Katsuki snapped as he hovered next to the table.

"So mean! I'm working on it!"

"And that tally is at Month 17 and counting!" Eijirou laughed.

Denki mumbles out a 'fucking traitors' and goes back to trying to figure out Yamada-sensei's boring English work. Mina, Hanta, and Eijirou laugh some more while Katsuki scoffs at the blonde's hole he dug himself into.

"Don't know why you would waste time with something so pointless as romance." He spats out.

Mina and Denki quickly snap their heads up to address their Satan friend.

"ROMANCE ISN'T POINTLESS!" They both cried.

"Guys, remember how you're talking to. This is the same guy who never hesitates to take his lighter out and burn any confession letter he is given." Eijirou explains.

"And most of the time, he does it in front of the person who's confessing." Hanta puts his hand over his chest as a sympathy grab.

"Shut up! I don't have any fucking interest in that type of shit!" He said. Denki just sighs before propping his hand upon his cheek.

"Come on, man. I don't think even you can go through life without some sort of partner. If you do, that's one sad path to go down on."

"I kinda agree, Bakugo, it seems a bit lonely." Hanta chimes in.

"Of course it's sad! How can anyone scoff and give up the opportunity to be with their one-and-only soulmate?!" Mina faked cried with slight tears and hands clenched together.

Eijirou laughed uneasily. "Soulmate is a bit much..."

He then turns to Katsuki and reaches up to clap a hand on his shoulder. "I think you just haven't met the right girl yet, bro! She's out there somewhere!" He encourages with a bright smile.

Katsuki clicked his tongue and smacks off his hand. "Whatever. I'm getting my damn coffee." He spats.

He spins around before stomping over to the front counter, ignoring the gang's continuing conversation about relationships and new hookups this year.

What do love and romance have to do with anything remotely important? Katsuki doesn't need some damn bitch dragging him down with meaningless dates, pointless anniversaries, and overbearing 'pay attention to me!' conversations. All he needs to do is focus on his studies, train, graduate, and climb his way to the top of becoming the youngest MMA fighter to reach number one in the ranks.

You're so brave and cool, Kacchan!

Katsuki freezes and grits his teeth.

Damn it, get out of my fucking head!

"Um...sir? A-Are you okay?" A mousy, fearful voice squeaked out. Katsuki's fog gets clear once again as he looks to see the fidgeting cashier waiting for him to put in his order.

"Spicy Woodlands, medium. Extra hot and extra spicy." He demanded before slapping the money down on the table.

"Y-Yes, sir!" The poor cashier squeaks out before ringing him up and rushing away to get the order done.

Katsuki scoffs before stepping from the counter and gets out his phone to waste time before his drink is ready.

"Oh, ho? Is that you, Bakugo?" A nasal voice drags out.

Katsuki looks up annoyed at the voice and finds some random extras in third-rate school uniforms. The one who spoke out was lanky, pasty-skinned, and oily-looking while the other was short, heavy, and had horrible acne.

"Who the fuck are you, idiots?" He snaps.

The lanky one just lets out an annoying nasal laugh. "Of course, you don't remember me. You are always so self-centered even back in middle school."

At the mention of middle school, Katsuki freezes before anger starts to bubble. "Listen, fuckfaces, I don't know who the hell you are, and I couldn't care less about what you want, so get out of my face before I destroy you." The heavier set friend was a little fearful at the threat and put his hands up in surrender. "Y-Yeah, of course, dud-de! N-no problem!" He said before he tugged on his friend's arm. "Tadami, stop it..." He whispers.

"Oh, but Daichi, you have to hear about the great Bakugo Katsuki! He was pretty famous back in the days, you know?" Katsuki's stomach dropped at the tone in his voice. "He was famous since back in grade school in fact!" Oh, this shit-stain wasn't going there, was he? Katsuki started to see flashes of red as the brave soul kept talking.

"Back when we were nine, he told some girl to go off herself and you know what? She disappeared the very next day! Weird, right?" he explained. Katsuki tightened the grip on his phone. "Maybe she actually went and did what he said? It wouldn't surprise me, I mean he did bully and beat her up every single day..." He smirked.

Katsuki's insides started to melt and burn as memories started to flood him full-force. Memories of a small crying girl covered with scrapes and cuts while a boy laughed cruelly with pride at the pain in her big, doe eyes.

Daichi froze at the story and looked between his friend and Katsuki before he swallowed. "Ta-Tadami, let's just go, dude..." He offered meekly.

Tadami just shrugs with another smirk and walks pass Katsuki with a bump to the shoulder before he and his friend left the shop.

Katsuki stood there unmoving only breaking out of it when the cashier brought him his coffee in a wood textured mug. He grabs it from them with a slight, soft 'thanks' before just continuing to stand there and stare into the brown, scorching liquid.

A hand clapped upon his back for the third time that day by Eijirou.

"Hey, dude, what's takin-" He stopped when he sees the brooding look on Katsuki's face. "Bakugo? Are you alright?" He says with genuine worry.

Katsuki just offers a twitch of a nod.

"I'm fine."

[hargrove-mayfields]

A Stake of Holly in Her Heart Pt. 5

Pt. 1   Pt. 2    Pt. 3    Pt. 4  

Benny’s is nothing special, Max thinks as they pull up into the mostly empty parking lot, which is nothing but a slab of concrete without any lines painted on it.

From the outside, it looks like a dingy old diner with about the same charm as the middle school cafeteria. On the inside, well, it’s just a dingy old diner with the same charm as a school cafeteria, with its greasy tiled floors and stained up old walls painted a sickening baby blue.

It’s about as full as you’d expect a place like that to be on Christmas Day, as in, other than a handful of elderly customers on the stools at the counter, they are completely alone.

They sit down at a cracking booth by the window, which Max notes was probably last cleaned before she was even born, and an older woman approaches them with a menu.

Steve must know her, chats up a storm about the daily special and school, about life in general and the old owner of the place before ordering for the both of them, and all the while Max just sits back and watches.

Even after the waitress comes back with a pot of coffee, and the two slices of pie Steve promised, she stays leaning back in her seat, arms crossed over her chest, watching.

There’s a tension burning under her skin, and she wants nothing to do with the pleasantries. If they were here to talk, then talk they would.

Steve goes to say something between bites of sugar cream pie, an Indiana specialty apparently, but Max cuts him off, her tone harsh. “Why did you bring me here?”

He looks confused, looking up as her with a stupid look on his face. “We’re avoiding the Christmas party?”

“Oh, sure, so you’re totally not trying to lay your claim now that my brother’s not here to stop you, right?” That might’ve been a little mean, but she doesn’t really know what to think right now.

He takes her to a remote location on the very edge of town when she’s supposed to be with a crowd of people because, what did he say, he didn’t want her to deal with them right now? She thinks she has the right to be concerned.

“I-No, I’m not.” Steve sits up straight in his seat. “I just wanted to talk to you.”

She nods over-exaggeratedly. “Is that before or after you make your move?”

There’s a certain pleading tone in his voice, one that obviously means he doesn’t want Max to think poorly of him, as he says, “Max, really I’m not trying to be a weirdo, I just figured you’d want to talk about Billy.”

She would be lying if she said hearing his name doesn’t take the air right out of her lungs. If just for a moment, she’s frozen.

Because nobody actually says Billy’s name anymore, just things like ‘your step brother’ or ‘Neil’s boy’. Sometimes Hargrove, and maybe even William once or twice, but never Billy.

It takes some effort for her to muster up the will to keep arguing after that, but Max has a retort at the ready, once she evens her breaths and moves past the initial shock. “What’s there to talk about? Everyone’s already forgotten about him anyways.”

“I haven’t.” Steve looks her dead in the eye, the most serious she’s ever seen him outside of a life threatening situation. “Don’t think I ever will.”

She scoffs, “Yeah, well, negative sentiments don’t count for much either.”

Everyone knows things were a little rocky between Billy and Steve, so she’s expecting him to rub it in her face that her brother was a bad person who beat people up for fun, or whatever the general opinion of those who didn’t know him was.

But Steve shocks her again by saying, “I never said that.”

And it's so beyond frustrating, talking in circles with Steve, that Max decides to cut her losses. Bites her tongue and sinks further back in the pleather booth, casting her eyes down to show him that she’s done with this.

If she would’ve known he’d be this annoying, she would’ve just made him take her to the Wheeler’s and leave her alone for the rest of her life.

But he doesn’t get the message, though shes not sure if he’s even smart enough to, because he keeps talking. “Me and Billy, we didn’t- we were friends, in the end.”

“You probably don’t want to hear it from me, but we all, you know, like, feel pretty shitty after a, um, a personal loss like this.” The words come out slow as he tries to think of the best thing to say, and it’s her instinct to cut him off, but Max listens.

“E-Especially when it’s someone we care about so much.” There’s a focused sort of look on his face, like he’s trying to get Max to understand that there’s some reason behind what all he’s saying. “Just, what I’m trying to get at is that, I think I understand that in a way probably no one else in your life does.”

That sentence is what finally makes it click into place for Max, the reason why Steve won’t just get on with it and say what he means, the reason she’s even here in the first place.

Because Steve lost Billy too.

She realizes that they must have had a thing. The kind that was kept secret, unknown by anyone but maybe a select few for their safety. A thing not much at all unlike what she and Lucas have.

Of course she knew about Billy, about the ex-boyfriends in Cali and the fake girlfriend he acquired last spring around the same time a paternal rage-induced scar appeared in his eyebrow, but she never would’ve guessed that he he had someone, and especially not for that someone to be Steve Harrington.

The realization hits her like a freight train. A snotty, teary-eyed freight train.

Just knowing that he hadn’t been able to show up at Billy’s funeral, or grieve in public the loss that to him must have been earth-shattering, and that he even had to tell her in vague secrets about his relationship to her brother, her heart hurts incredibly for Steve, and she sheds a few silent tears for him

But then there’s this other feeling, this creeping warmth of something like relief deep inside Max. To know she wasn’t alone in her misery or her heartbreak, she feels seen for the very first time since they’d put Billy in the back of that ambulance.

All in one morning, she’d gone from feeling so iced out by her grief, the singular embodiment of mourning being orbited by the ignorant, the selfish, the cruel, and now there were at least two other people out there in the world who could share that pain with her.

Maybe Christmas wasn’t such a humbug after all.

To say that Max doesn’t know what to say now would be the understatement of the century. She’s totally floored, her mind still slowly trying to recuperate from the weight of what Steve just confessed to her.

Eventually she’s able to get her thoughts in order enough to ask, “How long were you guys, like, cool for?”

“He apologized in December.” Looking down into his mug, he takes a sip of coffee, reminding Max that hers is getting cold. “Two months later we were friends.”

She knows what that really means, that ‘friends’ meant he and Billy had started dating in February, and suddenly a couple of things start to come together.

Like the time when Billy had taken her into the city with promises of a shopping spree, but only bought a couple of little gifts and a bouquet of fancy roses that she never saw again. And the days when she’d wake up for school and he’d be missing because he spent the night somewhere without telling anybody, so Susan would have to drive her. Or when she would find him with things too expensive for his pool wages, like a new pair of ray bans, obvious gifts from the secret admirer.

It’s bittersweet, knowing it Steve was behind all of that.

Despite the tears welling up in her eyes, Max decides to try to crack a joke. “Does this mean you’re my brother in law now?”

Steve returns it by shrugging and saying, “I guess it does, shitbird.”

There is a moment where Max allows herself to laugh with Steve, her quiet giggle echoing in their empty little corner of the diner, but in her heart, she feels a pang of guilt when she looks to the booth in front of her, and thinks about how Billy should be there with them too, with his own slice of pie and a whole life ahead of him.

So Max sniffles, a gentle tear sliding down her cheek when she blinks, and says, “I’m sorry.”

Steve sighs heavily, and sets his cup down. “You don’t have a thing to be sorry for, Max.”

The tears make her voice wobbly, and it hardly comes out as she asks, “Don’t you miss him?”

“‘Course I do. All the time.” Steve says softly.

“Then I’m sorry.” Her bottom lip quivers, and she bites it to try to hold back the sob that comes after.

She can be grateful that Benny’s isn’t a very popular hangout spot these days, so that the only ones around to hear her crying are a couple of geezers whose hearing is probably too poor to notice anyways and Steve.

“Hey, don’t,” Steve starts to say, but his voice cracks, and there’s tears streaking his cheeks to match those on Max’s.

It’s probably good for them, crying it out over pie and coffee, and there’s something about the whole thing that just feels so right to Max, being able to talk with somebody who’s felt exactly what she’s been going through for these five grueling months of isolation.

To her, it feels like this is just where Billy would want her to be.

Eventually they get it out of their systems, crying until there are no tears left, and with a final dab at their eyes with wadded up printed napkins, they’re good to keep going.

Max is the first to strike the conversation back up, having noticed something particularly familiar about Steve’s denim vest. She has a sneaking suspicion it’s not too much unlike the jacket she’s wearing, in that both articles had at one point belonged to her brother.

She nods her head towards him. “Is that Billy’s?”

“What?” Steve looks down at himself like he’s completely forgotten what he’s wearing. “Oh, yeah. He forgot it at my place ages ago.”

She smiles to herself and says, “He did that a lot, forgot things.”

“Really?”

���Mhm.” She nods assuredly and explains, “One time, he forgot to pick me up from school, and I didn’t have a bus pass so he had to drive all the way back and get me.”

“Sounds about like Billy.” There’s a warm smile spreading across Steve’s tear-stained face and an equally as warm chuckle. “You know I brought him here last year?”

Max raises an eyebrow and sips her coffee, but doesn’t say anything back. Steve continues in her place. “It was the night of the snowball, and, I’m sure you remember, his face was super messed up.”

“He wanted to talk, I told him we should come here, so we wouldn’t have to sit in his car.” Steve’s sort of staring off into space, absentmindedly tapping his fingers on the tabletop. “We sat at this booth, and that was when he apologized.”

He looks back at Max now to say, “He told me about you too. How last Christmas was different because he didn’t know how to make it up to you.”

“He really loved you, Max.” His voice is thick, like he might start crying again.

Hers is barely above a whisper as she returns the sentiment. “I’m not the only one.”

For the rest of the night until closing, they spent their time exchanging stories of their memories with Billy, of times when he’d made them happy that they felt inclined to share.

They talked about how clumsy he could be, how weird his sense of humor was, his favorite off the wall music, anything and everything that comes to mind that encapsulated the Billy they knew.

One thing they don’t feel the need bring up is abusive parents or accidents at the mall, because that’s not the Billy they want to remember him by. They just talk and talk until they felt as close to one another as they had been to her brother, to his lover.

Just before 10, being that they’re the only stragglers left and Benny’s is about to close, the woman from before who’d taken their orders shoos them out with her politest smile.

From behind the counter, she had watched very moment of their emotional exchange, and some of the cheer in her own heart had been awakened, so she sent them away with some more baked goods before closing up.

Steve takes the long way back to old Cherry Road, trying to stretch this out for as long as he can. They didn’t much talk about it, sure, but his knowledge of how things were in the Hargrove-Mayfield house was enough that he knows he doesn’t want to send Max back there, not yet.

There’s a comfortable silence settled over them in the front seat, no sound but tires on wet pavement and faint Christmas carols drifting quietly through the radio.

Everything they could’ve possibly needed or wanted to say had already been aired out at Benny’s, minus some of the less than subtle stories they didn’t think they should share, so they both just take the time to appreciate the peace.

He’s able to get Max another forty five minutes away from home, letting her settle down in her seat with the heat as high as it can go, taking her drearily down scenic routes and back alley ways, but he can’t delay it forever.

He wishes he could, that didn’t have to take her back there at all, but rather give her the same chance for her freedom from that house that he’d pleaded so desperately with Billy to take before it was too late, but that was a discussion he knew very well she wasn’t ready for.

They pull up outside of the house to see the lights still on, and Max gives him a weak smile before stepping out onto the sidewalk.

She shuts the door behind herself, but she doesn’t budge, doesn’t take any further steps to leave, and Steve doesn’t either.

Rolling down the bimmers window, Steve leans across the seat and says to her, “Listen, if you ever need anything at all just, please let me know. We can do this again anytime.”

She nods and stuffs her hands in her pockets, a look on her face like she’s deep in thought. Steve takes that as his cue that it’s time to leave.

One last smile, a “Merry Christmas, Max,” and he’s pulling away, leaving her to stand alone in the icy breeze.

Making sure he’s well and gone, the sight of his taillights no longer visible from where she's standing, Max takes the envelope that contains Maria’s card out of her pocket, rubbing her thumb over the back of the smooth red paper.

She doesn’t know why she kept it a secret. Of all people, Steve deserves to know, but she figures this is something she’s got to work through on her own.

The front door creaks open behind her, and Susan, dressed in a robe and with her hair up in curlers, calls her inside with scorn in her voice for being out so late.

But not even that can deflate the growing feeling in her chest, of camaraderie, of belonging, of having a friend worth more to her than her mothers bitterness could ever take away.

No, Max goes up the steps to meet her mother in the doorway not with fear or apprehension, but with a certain pride about her, one that might have even been compared to the very swagger that Billy would’ve carried himself with, were he the one to come home after his curfew to find Neil at the door.

Read also on ao3!

[romioneficfest]

Soul Searching

Title: Soul Searching

Prompt/Summary: Hermione admits she was wrong.

Rating: K

Name:

Brief Summary: Hermione admits the way she went about House Elf rights when she was younger wasn’t quite how she should have handled things.

Content Warning: None

Notes: This is very AU and contains an in-depth discussion of house-elf rights.

“You know, Ron,” she said quietly, “you were right and I was wrong.”

Blimey, the Hermione Granger he knew never admitted she was wrong! Ron looked at her with trepidation.

“Um, uh, are you a pod person that’s taken over my girlfriend’s body?” They had watched a Muggle movie called The Invasion of the Body-Snatchers a couple days ago.

Hermione rolled her eyes and ignored him.

“I stand by my position that house-elves have a right to freedom,” she explained, “But I was wrong to try and hide those hats in the Gryffindor common room and trick the school house-elves into picking them up. And you were right to call me out on it. It was underhanded and very patronizing of me. I never asked them what they wanted, not even once. I fell short of my high ideals of equality and fairness and justice and…No wonder they were all so offended!”

Ron’s mouth closed with an audible snap.

“Don’t feel too bad, sweetheart,” He said gently. “Everyone fucks up. And I reckon we’ve both got a lot to learn about house-elves. I didn’t even see how rough they had it until you pointed it out!”

The words seemed to calm her down. A small hand slipped into his as they walked along the beach of Shell Cottage. The setting sun blazed and glowed the scarlet and gold of Gryffindor, like a phoenix soaring over the horizon.

“House-elves are oppressed,” Hermione mused. “and any legitimate movement for social change has to center their struggle and prioritize their right to self-determination. But I was wrong…I should have known better than to think I knew better than them. I see now that I have no right to tell them what their liberation should look like, or what their relationship to their traditional occupation should be.”

She sighed, and placed her hands over her temples. “As a witch and member of the very class that oppresses them, I was way out of line. And I honestly don’t know how to fix it.”

“Hermione, we’ve been over this before,” Ron said patiently. “you can’t be right all the time. None of us can. You wouldn’t be human if you could! And sometimes, there are no easy answers. Life isn’t a textbook, you know, it doesn’t come with an answer key at the back. Even the house-elves can’t seem to agree what’s best for them. And to be honest, we wizards and witches are so loud we kind of drown them out.”

They were silent for a while. Ron and Hermione were both haunted by Dobby’s near-death at the hands of Bellatrix Lestrange. But the elf had largely recovered from his injuries, thanks to the devoted care of Harry and surprisingly, Winky. Winky and Dobby had hated each other for a long time, due to their vastly different stances on house-elf rights. Still, Dobby was a hero of the War and highly respected by his people. Her friendship with Dobby helped Winky sober up and get over being dismissed by Mr. Crouch. Ron still didn’t get what she’d seen in the crusty old geezer, but he was glad to see she’d finally moved on with her life.

Hermione gave a watery smile. “Dobby and Winky’s political stances are not as opposed as they seem. Both of them support better working conditions for their people, and neither of them condone actual abuse at the hands of humans. It’s just that Winky has a lot of pride in her people’s traditional occupation of domestic labor. And we have to admit that labor has value and is important! Essential, even. Most of the wizarding world runs on it.”

“I mean, only rich people can afford house-elves,” Ron said, “my family hasn’t had one in like, centuries. But Hogwarts would be shot without them, that’s for sure. And I’m pretty sure the Malfoys would starve to death without them.”

“Isn’t it odd that much of the wizarding world can be so dependent on another race of beings and yet so contemptuous of them?” Hermione wondered. “The Death Eaters didn’t emerge in a vacuum. The systems of oppression that produced them are still with us in the form of violence against house-elves, Muggle-borns, werewolves, and goblins.”

His girlfriend used a lot of big words, especially when discussing her grand social theories about the world. But Ron always got the gist of what she was saying. He’d been around her long enough.

“Hermione,” Ron said in a low voice. “You got seven Os on all your NEWTS! Seven Os. That’s kind of a big deal. You could be anything you want. But you always said you wanted to do some good in the world. So why don’t you make SPEW a full-time thing and fight for the rights of these people? I think you’d be good at it. You’ve just gotta be sure you involve them and stay in touch with what they want.”

She looked up at him, startled.

“You don’t think it would be stupid?”

“Of course not! I became an Auror for you, remember? And I’d work double-time to support you if that’s what it took.”

He couldn’t really blame his girlfriend for doubting him on this stuff. Sometimes, he still wondered what she saw in a boor like him. Ron felt twinges of shame for the things he’d said about SPEW before the war. Auror training taught him that hatred and bigotry were powerful sources of Dark magic. Voldemort’s soul had been a shitty, rotten, maggot-filled cesspool of both. No wonder the twisted old snake had wanted to tear it apart.

George had offered him a post at the joke shop, but in the end, Ron couldn’t bring himself to replace Fred. He just couldn’t. Losing Fred had felt like losing a limb. Ron let the pain fuel him for his next round with the Death Eaters. He clenched his teeth and fists so hard his knuckles turned white.

“I swear, Hermione,” he growled, “I won’t rest until every single Death Eater and all the fuckers who sucked up to them are brought to justice.”

Hermione glowed, her face shining bright like moonbeams and starlight and all that mushy and dramatic bullshit he didn’t get. “I know you won’t.”

She curled into him. His face was very warm, and he could feel it turning as red as his hair. Ron swallowed hard and held her against his chest, feeling like one of the gallant knights in the stories his mum used to tell him. It was a damn fine feeling, he decided.

“I think I’m going to take your advice. My parents want me to apply for a post in the Ministry, but I think it’s as much my destiny to be an activist as it’s yours to be an Auror.”

The stars sparkled above them like a diamond in a wedding ring.

“I have a confession to make,” Hermione whispered.

“Oh, yeah?”

“When we were at school, I had a crush on you for so long that I was afraid of what would happen when we finally got together. My greatest fear was that we didn’t share the same values, and that it would drive us apart. I don’t have that fear anymore.”

“I was afraid of fucking us up, too,” he admitted quietly.

“You know, there’s a Muggle saying I once read in a book,” Hermione said. “Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.”

Ron thought of the final battle of Hogwarts, when he’d been the one to remember the house-elves and warn them to leave the kitchen for their safety. They all fought valiantly at Harry’s side to protect the school and defeat Voldemort. His girlfriend was a tough witch to impress, but he knew he’d got through to her that night. He thought of how proud he and Hermione were of Harry, who’d fulfilled the prophecy and become the first DADA Professor in many decades to last more than one year in the post.

“Well, sweetheart, that sure does sound like us.”

Hermione beamed brightly up at him and snuggled closer. “Thank you, Ron. Thank you for supporting me in the cause we both believe in.”

The sun slipped over the horizon, and the blue water splashed onto the powdery white sand of the beach. Hermione’s face turned up like a flower in spring, and she raised her lips to his. Ron felt his mind go blank at the taste of her cherry-red mouth. He didn’t want to ruin it by talking, so he lifted her clean off the ground, just as he’d done for their first kiss. Hermione’s bushy brown hair tumbled across his face, smelling all sweet and fresh like new parchment and freshly mowed grass and the perfume he’d bought her long ago. And she giggled into the kiss. Ron had wanted this for half his bloody life, but he knew then he would never get enough.

[aidemint]

𝐑𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧 - 𝐊𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐲𝐚 𝐔𝐛𝐮𝐲𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐤𝐢

Word Count: 1781

Warnings: Mentions of smoking

__

I told myself I would stop smoking, for the sake of my own sanity. I'd already thrown out all the nicotine I had and invested the money in books. Judging by how many novels I'd bought with the new budget, it was a good decision. A step in the right direction, considering that I was a writer.

Sighing as I organized the pile of books on the floor, stacking them so they fit perfectly into my bookshelf, I grumbled as I fought the urge to go out and suck on my pipe. Maybe there were leftovers still stuck in there. Once I realized my thought process, I shouted and hurriedly stuffed the novels into their place and fumed. Stomping out the door, I wanted to do something to stop this toxic cycle.

I should do something different. There has to be something to do.

Maybe my horrible life was a byproduct of all the shitty decisions I made so far. My publishing company didn't fail me, at least. I couldn't say that my career was a total flop, and I had a consistent paycheck, but I just felt so damn sad and lonely all the time. Sure, I was whining, but it wasn't for no good reason.

Plus, it wasn't like I hated every single thing on the planet Earth, I was just in a rut. Motivation was fleeting and I didn't have enough energy to chase after it. Not without an excuse, at least. I spent my days tirelessly writing and working my ass off for deadlines. To think I once enjoyed writing -- that was a long time ago, when I was a child. I'd daydream for hours, weaving fantasies in my head like I was on mushrooms.

How I wished to get a glimpse of the old days, to feel what I felt way back when I wasn't like this. I was so sure I was going to die alone and miserable, since I broke all the old connections I had when I started my career. It wasn't part of the contract or anything, I just felt that if I were to be mature, then I should sever off my childhood -- drop it like a lizard to its cut-off tail.

My jaw clenched as I spotted my pipe on the ground. I picked it up, squinting in distaste, debating about whether I should or shouldn't go to the market to get another good smoke in. I could drown out my worries that way.

Scoffing at myself, I took the fragile wooden tube and broke it in half, tossing it into the bushes.

How stupid.

__

Two days later, I was still in that same mood. But instead of twiddling my thumbs and lounging around like some lazy pig, I tried to pick up a new hobby while still reminiscing at the old days.

Ah, to be young.

I sounded like some old geezer.

But I kept thinking.

I miss everyone.

__

A week passed and I could safely say I was in a better mood. My cravings weren't as bad, and I tended to chew on mint leaves rather than suck on that damn wooden pipe.

Maybe for this reason, the universe decided to gift me a surprise.

The invitation arrived by crow. I was outside, doing some garden work when that black bird flew in front of me, its beady eyes analyzing every single one of my features. For a moment, it seemed hesitant to come near, but the creature eventually hopped its way to my feet and dropped a note by them.

I could have imagined it, but it seemed as if the crow gave me a slight bow before flapping it great wings and flying away. Eyeing the rolled-up parchment carefully, I picked it up and unraveled it, curious to see what message was displayed inside.

(Y/N),

I hope this letter finds its way to you without interruption. It's been a long time since we've last spoken, so before we get to the technicalities, I'd like to know: how are you? Hopefully you're in a prosperous position, one of good wealth and balance. I remember you always went on about becoming a renowned poet, and I think you're quite close to achieving that dream. Just yesterday I bought one of your books, and the limericks and clever haikus are quite entertaining.

Anyways, the real reason I wrote to you so late in our relationship is that I've been meaning to see you again. The last time we met, if I recall it correctly, was ten years ago -- far too long of a time for friends to be separated, no?

During these years, I imagine that a lot has changed. You're out and about, pursuing your dream and accomplishing your wildest dreams. It's admirable, to say the least. Though my disability hinders the possibility of me becoming a sumo wrestler, I am doing better than expected (even though I live with that disappointment).

I've just realized, in the middle of my jest, the topic has suddenly shifted to me. It's unpleasant, seeing how little control I have over my words. Please accept my apology, (Y/N), as I don't expect you to become suddenly infatuated with my life, nor does the meeting represent a discussion about the current events happening in my little "circle."

I just truly want to catch up with you. One of my greatest wishes is to see you again after all these years. I've missed our kinship.

So please, I implore you to come. There will be a guide outside of your house an hour after this crow is delivered. Please do not be frightened by the methods taken to bring you to my estate -- I'm sure you understand based on our previous history together.

I'm looking forwards to our potential reunion.

- Kagaya Ubuyashiki

My teeth tugged at my bottom lip as I closed the scroll, feeling tears well up in my eyes. With a tidal wave of memories flooding back into my mind, I couldn't help but want to cry. Kagaya was one of the people that made my childhood worthwhile. I'd met him when I was eight, while he was nine. We spent our free time together, however small the amount was.

Despite being so young, we were always busy. I took advanced courses at home, tutored by poets and writers from across the community. My parents did all they could to help me on my way to success, which I was grateful for. I never knew what Kagaya did, as he always kept it a secret, but I appreciated him nonetheless. He seemed so mature, even at age nine.

The way he thought was like a philosopher. Whenever I showed him my work, he'd bring about inquiries that would dumbfound even the greatest of my masters. I wondered how he did it and always wanted to be like him -- diligent, thoughtful, understanding.

Even now as an adult, he never fails to blow me away with his humility.

Sighing once more as I swept the stray tears off of my face, I pocketed the scroll and continued to do my garden work until the guide came. I was just about done when a masked figure strolled up to my home and asked me if I was (Y/N) (L/N). In response, I nodded and exchanged greetings before hopping onto their back and being blindfolded by the figure.

"I hope Master already told you about the procedure," they muttered awkwardly, "It's to prevent information from leaking." I laughed lightly and waved the thought away. Too excited to see my old friend again, the commentary bounced off me like rain to an umbrella.

"It's a smart idea." With that, the guide hauled me onto their back and took off running along their designated path.

__

Once I could finally see again, I blinked for a couple moments to let my eyes adjust to the blinding light. Though my vision was blurry and I couldn't quite make out the scene in front of me, I sensed multiple presences waiting for me at the entrance to the estate. When I'd finally cleared all the fog out of my head, I felt myself instinctively draw in a small gasp.

There Kagaya was, standing in the middle of a group of colorful figures. He wore a small and docile smile, gently waving at me from a distance. I quickly thanked the guide as I slid off of their back and made my way over to him. The ravenette regarded me with a kind look, and spread his arms as a welcoming gesture.

All the world's noise seemed to come upon deaf ears the closer I got to him.

Though his lips moved and the trees rustled, all I could hear was the sound of my own heart beating, thrumming through my eardrums. The sound of the flowing of blood in my veins became more prominent as I got increasingly star-struck.

Was this reality? Or just another twisted dream that came back to haunt me?

I wanted to believe that it was real. I desperately prayed, in that moment, that this was real. Maybe in a few seconds I would wake up, breathing heavily, covered in sweat in my futon on the ground. Then I'd squeeze my eyes shut again, crying for the sweet dream to come back to me. But as my staggers became steadier, and those steady strides quickened, I had a newfound energy to hope.

To believe that my life wasn't so hopelessly lost.

When the tips of my fingers reached my friend's kimono, my heart blossomed. The silk seemed to greet my touch like they already knew each other, despite the sensation being so foreign. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. I wanted to collapse onto the ground and sob until my eyes fell out of their sockets.

To think that the connections hadn't been severed, but rather weakened, was the greatest relief I'd ever experienced. It spurred me to think that maybe I could reconnect with the outside world rather than keep to myself all the time.

The possibility of not being alone and feeling a socially ambiguous made my insides tingle with excitement -- with childish wonder. There was someone who still cared for me, who still waited for me all these years, who was kind enough to reach out and contact me, the recluse, the hermit.

When I fell into his arms, breathless, I closed my eyes and finally smiled.

I could smile again.

And be thankful.

And finally feel like I was somebody.

I couldn't have asked for anything more.

[bloom-agreste-cheng]

CHLOE FROM TOO HOT HOT TOO HANDLE DESERVES TO BE PROTECTED

My roommate got me to watch that show

He got me at “hot people making fools of themselves and making shitty decisions”

Chloe

God bless her. I love her. She’s so sweet, so positive.

ALL ABOUT THAT FEMALE EMPOWERMENT! So proud of her.

SHARRHONDA FOR LIFE. They were a prime example of growing together and pushing yourself to be a better person for someone you really care about. They are what couples should aspire to be.

Oh and David. UGH, David. 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😍🥰🥰🥰 daddy David.

He’s so sweet and so HOT 🥵 and so cute.

Someone called him a tall Tom Holland on Tumblr and that is CORRECT.

I wanna marry him, highkey. I hope my roommate doesn’t see this. He likes David too.

FUCK KORI! I really hope he rots and learn his lesson because that boy needs serious attitude adjustments. Unfortunately I would bang him too because he’s hot and he’s a geezer. Got good banter too. BUT FUCK HIM!

YOU DO NOT GO AND FUCK WITH MY GIRL CHLOE AND GET AWAY WITH IT!

JESUS! I mean Matthew. Didn’t like him much at the beginning but he grew on me. Man deserves love. I would totally be friends with him.

I loved the workshops they went through. I feel I got to connect with them through the workshops.

KELZ! Definitely not my favourite man because honestly, I’d probably be like him if I was on the show. Eyes on the prize but also remember this retreat is about self development.

LYDIA AND NICOLE! Such QUEENS! I wanted more of them. Nicole is 🌈 incarnate. She deserves the world. And Lydia, POWERFUL WOMAN ™️. God she’s great. I’d have loved to see her and David go on a date. I’m sorta glad David risked $3000 just to kiss her.

Francesca and Harry... where do I start with them? I have to say I’m as proud of them as I am proud of Sharrhonda. They frequently fucked up but they learned from it. Obviously less mature than Sharrhonda but they grew up from their mistakes and that was beautiful to watch. Specially Harry. I disliked him too but I am proud he grew up so quickly after the guys-only workshop. Also, boy went from lying to save his ass to admitting he and Francesca did the nasty in front of everyone and defended her. I call that character development. Iam so proud of both of them. I would say I don’t have a favourite between Sharrhonda and Frarry, but I have to go with Sharrhonda. Their relationship is just so mature.

Also, I would lowkey date and fuck Harry. I can’t help it, he’s like a puppy.

Who am I missing? Bryce.

Bryce, Bryce, Bryce. MAJOR HIMBO ENERGY! Love that, love him and I hope for all the best in his journey through life. I’m so proud of his growth too.

Haley! That boss ass bitch. No filter. No shame. I did not like her as a person but I did love her as contestant on the show. She was so unabashed about what she did. She went FUCK Y’ALL. She knows her place and she knows when something doesn’t work for her. I respect her for walking out of something that wasn’t for her. Not saying she wouldn’t benefit from some self development too (I am sorry, I realize I have been calling self development. I could not remember the word they word using on the show so I will stick to that until the end of this post), but some things just don’t work for some people. Perhaps a different tactic would help her grow.

Who am I forgetting? Madison? Not sure what to say about her. I didn’t really get to see much of her so I don’t have anything to say about her.

LANA! I love that robot! Lana is god. Lana sees and Lana knows. I would be a devoted follower of Lana. Just like Matthew was.

And Desirée. That bitch had some great comments. I am so happy to finally see our beloved host’s face by the end of the show.

now to end this post

PROTECT CHLOE AND DAVID AT ALL COSTS! THEY WERE THE MOST WHOLESOME PEOPLE ON THAT SHOW! I WOULD DIE FOR THEM!

[angrylizardjacket]

the view from halfway down // charlotte&lola // 5

Summary: Lola brings Charlotte news, as she is want to do, and seems excited to look to the future.

A/N: @misscharlottelee only one chapter left nd this a happy one!!!

"Vasillisa's boycotting her weekends with me for the foreseeable future," Lola sighs with a strange sort of fondness, "mostly because I told her about Nikki and I having a new baby; she told me the only way I could make it up to her was Backstreet Boys tickets, and got all pissy when I reminded her that I don't manage them," she snickered, adding, "Spice Girls tickets are not an acceptable substitute, apparently." Looking at the dates on Charlotte's gravestone, Lola finds herself sharply reminded that these names would mean nothing to Charlotte.

"She wasn't nearly this mad about Brandon when Tommy and Pam told her, but she's always been kind of a daddy's girl," though her smile is a little sad as she concedes on this point, "I'm just glad she likes Leo well enough now; you remember she tried to throw him in the ocean the first time we took them both to the beach? Kind of funny now you consider he thinks the world of her. Whenever she stays with us she ropes him into being her little minion, they're kind of sweet together, especially when Penny's around."

"Charlie I wish you were here, it was so cute;" Lola gushes, leaning forward, her eyes shining with adoration, "Penny's looking to audition for the cheerleading team now that she's in high school, and she taught the tryout routine to Liss and Leo when she was babysitting them last week; Leo performed it for me and Nikki after he came back, that boy's got confidence coming out of his ears already," she beams, voice alight with pride.

"He's excited about the baby too, but he's excited about everything nowadays; he got glasses over the summer; we hadn't realised how badly he needed them, poor boy's practically blind. He spends a lot of time in the garden now, always showing me cool bugs and flowers, and found my dad's headstone the other day, well, rediscovered," Lola explains, "read dad's name and saw it said 'Leo' in it and asked if it was for him. Had to explain that it was for someone who meant a lot to me, and that we'd named him that because now he meant a lot to me. He seemed happy enough with that."

"School started back up again a few weeks ago," she sighs, finally sitting down, "every year, like clockwork," she snorts, "Penny wanted me to tell you that she's enjoying high school so far, and she's sorry she didn't visit over summer, but that she had a blast as camp councillor, and she'll be by soon." Lola paused, her smile gentle as she enjoyed the sunlight, feeling a warm contentment blossom in her chest. 

"I never went to high school," Lola admits, and its strange to think the fact has never come up before for all the time she's spent pouring her heart out to Charlotte, both when she'd been alive, and when she was simply a headstone, "between what happened with mom, the trial, moving to a group home, and running away with Nikki, no-one ever bothered to enrol me. I know Tommy never graduated high school, but he still went, you know? And you -" Lola cuts herself off with a sigh, shaking her head. "I'm just proud of Penny is all; without a doubt, our kids are gonna end up outshining us all." With that,Lola places a hand on the faintly noticeable swell of her stomach, smiling.

"I'm really excited, you know, about this one; I'm getting an ultrasound tomorrow, first one for this little peanut," she pats her stomach fondly, "we've already got a couple of names in mind, unearthed some lists from when we had Leo. We've run out of parents we want to honor, so we've been thinking Cerie if its a girl, or Cyrus if its a boy, no real special meaning, we just both like them. I kind of want their middle name to be Michael, or Michelle, for Mick; the fact that that geezer still treats me like family after everything we've been through, well I want to honor that, you know? Don't want it as a first name though, I think that's a bit much," she chuckles a little. 

"I can hear you asking 'why not Vince' - actually, no, I can't for many reasons, the main one being that I don't think you'd ever advocate for me naming any part of my child after Vince Neil," Lola pauses, "also because of the whole, you know," she blusters, gesturing to the grave, "but Nikki respects my weird pseudo-parental relationship with Mick, and Vince is... Vince." It's said with a fond smile, and an implied its different, you understand. Lola's quiet for a long while, and sucks a breath in through her teeth as she stares out at the horizon, fidgetting for a moment. After a beat, she scratches at the nicotine patch on her arm. 

"Sometimes I just get these weird cravings, and I'm worried its not working, but it is and they're just pregnancy cravings; I literally forget every time how much I start jonesing for some spearmint, its not as bad as my heroin cravins were, and there's no patch for that," she adds, "they're better now, though; its like my old cigarette itch. I can't chainsmoke spearmint but I fucking wish I could." Lola looks to the gravestone, "did you get cravings? Its been so long since Penny was just a peanut, I can't remember. I bet it was something weird too, like bananas with mayonaise, and Razzle would probably already have them ready before you'd even ask, and say something baffling like," and Lola puts on a terrible impression of Razzle's accent when she speaks through her smile, "back in the UK, tha's just gravedigger's biscuits, innit love?"

"The UK doesn't know what biscuits are," Lola adds with a snort and a roll of her eyes, smirking. 

"The kid's put a hold on the wedding plans though; looks like if we survive Y2K we'll be getting hitched in the new millennium. Finally," she adds with an amused little smile, before her expression drops to something hesitant, "I was thinking of asking Penny to be my Maid of Honor, but thought I should run it by you first; I've got a few girls from the office for bridesmaids - its strange, I've actually got, like, friends now, just took me forty years to learn how to make them, instead of getting lucky like when you decided I was worth it. Also, I know I've said this before, but I really am sorry about how shitty I was as a friend at times; you were much better to me than I deserved, but I think you know that," Lola's expression is self deprecating, but her words are honest. 

"I want Penny as my Maid of Honor," Lola repeats, adding, "it makes sense. And Pam's also a bridesmaid, which makes less sense, but you know, we actually get along really well, which I think surprised both of us. Tommy is unsurprisingly Nikki's best man, and its genuinely not weird this time," Lola laughs easily as she explains her wedding plans to no-one. "He's both of our best friends, which tends to confuse everyone else, but that's just how things worked out, and we're just," Lola actually grins as she lets out a chuckle amid a sigh of contentment, "we're happy, Charlie. I know it took forty fucking years, but it feels like.my life's finally worked out." And she gives the grave a fond smile, "the only thing missing is you."

[introvertbard]

I fell down the rabbit-hole of “Jedi-Padme and Senator-Anakin” role reversal fics, guys. Here’s the comment that spawned my headcanon about “Ani having no father,” with a lot of elaborations now that I'm on my own blog.

Technically I know people have discussed the MECHANICS of “a (human) kid has no father” (drugs, rape, “well, he has a sperm-donor, but that’s not a FATHER”) but I’m just really fascinated by the cultural aspect of “Schmi says her kid has no dad, and the rich people are confused, but the poor folks on the Rim Worlds just quietly nod and maybe cry-laugh because there’s actually a LOT of reasons why a slave-kid from Tatooine wouldn’t have a father.”

Like, imagine if just one adult human from the Outer Rim heard about the Jedi youngling that Qui-Gon Jinn took to Coruscant, talking about how little Anakin “has no father” and he has such a high midichlorian count and he must be the Chosen One! They’d, like, laugh their asses off. Not in the “crazy old geezer” way, but more like “you poor sweet Core-World man, you took the ‘no father’ thing literally.”

...No, I’m not writing a fix-it fanfic about the cycle of space-poverty where Mace Windu gets totally-not-attached to an Outer Rim family in the Space-Philippines, who point out that EVERYTHING the Jedi think about Anakin is from a Core World/upper-class lens.

--

Copied from my comment on AO3:

Also, this line gave me chills: "He’s never had that luxury, just the same as every Tatooine child whose mother claims her child has no father." Holy shit, Schmi's speech about Anakin mysteriously gestating just crashed into me like a train, and I made a headcanon in five seconds.

It makes SO MUCH SENSE for Tatooine's poor folks to have an unspoken code of "Yeah sure, there's a lot of slave-kids and moisture-farmers who don't have dads. If he doesn't show up, it's not exactly a lie, is it? Don't ask too many questions."

I mean, we had a whole range of ways to "politely" talk about unwanted kids here on Earth, so this is such a devastatingly real detail to think about. "Oh, Schmi said Anakin doesn't have a father? Big surprise there. Just throw a stick at the moisture-farmers and slaves, there's a dozen more people with the same story. Some of them didn't have a MOM after they got born, either."

---

The elaborations are getting super long, so here’s a break to keep from taking up everyone’s dashboards.

Elaborations: Maybe the “kid has no father” thing started when poor folks started going “I’m sorry, Rich Lady, did you say my kid looks a lot like like your brother/son/nephew? That’s impossible, I’ve never met him.”

Maybe it’s too risky to name the father, for the same “someone important might get pissed” reason.

Maybe the father was another poor person who died or got sold into slavery.

Maybe the woman got raped and just never wants to think about it more than she has to.

Sure, there’s the chance for an abortion, but if you’re poor and you don’t find out you’re pregnant really fast, abortions COST MORE AND MORE MONEY AND RECOVERY TIME as you get farther along, and this is Tatooine the desert world run by gangsters--they’re NOT going to have reliable healthcare for you.

And then Schmi’s not even a FREE poor woman, so maybe her old master just forced her to carry the baby so they could have a new slave. It’s a two-for-one deal, whooooo. (*end sarcasm*)

I mean, Qui-Gon was an off-worlder and the main Jedi Temple was on Coruscant, the ridiculously wealthy Core World. While he may have known that the lower-class can have a lot of injustices to deal with, he may not have known the extremely class-specific detail that if an impoverished human--especially from Tatooine, the half-wild desert world at the edge of the known galaxy--says that her kid “has no father,” it’s probably not a literal “she mysteriously started gestating a fertilized egg one day.” It just means “something shitty happened and she doesn’t want to talk about him.”

Also, this makes the theory of “Schmi got experimented on by the Sith” really suck-tastic to think about, because now you have powerful people who experiment on a poor woman because 1) she can’t fight back and 2) nobody’s gonna miss her.

Like, just imagine poor Young-Schmi getting passed along from master to master and finally trying to have a relationship with another slave-boy when she manages to stay on Tatooine for long enough, but then he gets killed by Tusken Raiders, or sold to another master, or caught in the crossfire between some dueling Hutt Clans, or just plain dying of heat-stroke, and she gets so fucking traumatized that when she finds out she’s pregnant, she blasts right past “not talking about her boyfriend/husband” and just says her soon-to-be-kid has no father at all.

[chefalier]

He said, “Sit down son, we've gotta talk.”  I said, "it's my life, I'm gonna do what I want.  I'm not gonna crawl, I'm gonna walk.  Walk right out that door." He said "I used to be a lot like you,  There's nothing you've done that I didn't do." I left and said, "Dad, I'm bulletproof.  We've been through this before."

I couldn't believe it There was a tear in my old man's eye When I was leaving He tried to say goodbye

And now I've seen a couple miles on a gravel road.  Been taught a couple things that I didn't know.   I learned a little thing called sacrifice.  Givin' up on dreams, lost a couple fights.  All anybody wants is a better life.  And something to believe.

I couldn't believe it When the tears came to my eyes It isn't easy Standing on the other side

"Sit down, son, we gotta talk.  Hey it's your life, you're gonna do what you want.  I won't say crawl before you walk." ‘Cause I heard my old man in my mind saying

He said, “Stand tall when you stumble.  Stay proud when you're humbled.  All the lessons you learn won't be the ones that you plan.   And every step up that mountain will be more than worth counting.  And when you walk through the valley,  may you walk like a man.   

And when you go on without me,  Walk like a man.”     

@rxbelluscruris

NOTE: for 32 DAYS OF SANJI: FAMILY, I’m mixing playlist for Sanji and Zeff but unfinished yet, this is just one of the tracks.