#relationship protector
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[ID: Nine small pixel hearts of system role flags in order, host, ocd symptom holder, relationship protector, multisourced, audeomate, translator, hypersexual symptom holder, battery and drainer. End ID]
Tumblr makes them bigger than they actually are click to see correct size or check out the rentry in the pinned post
Coiner/Flag Maker
@the-silent-fellowship Host, Translator, Hypersexual Holder
@revenant-coining Audeomate
@archangel-level-coining (Inactive?) Battery, Drainer
??? ocd symptom holder, relationship protector, multisourced
#host#ocd symptom holder#relationship protector#multisourced#Audeomate#translator#hypersexual symptom holder#battery#drainer#plurality#actually plural#endo safe#pixel#heart#discord emoji#rentry#missing credit
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I think one of the biggest tragedies of Laios & Falin and their relationship is how much his actions impact her life. But like. Specifically how much they WOULDN’T impact her life as much if they weren’t both stuck in such a shitty abusive situation.
This part of the Falin-tries-makeup daydream hour comic is what got me thinking about it again because truly it just... it seems like such a like an offhand comment that I'm sure Laios didn't mean to be cruel or anything. That's just like. A little kid not thinking about what they are saying. ESPECIALLY when the kid in question is Laios.
But man they depended on each other SO much as kids. Too much. It really feels like they didn't have any other source of positive reinforcement, or anyone else to share themselves with. So of course an offhand comment like that has a huge impact on Falin.
Or this little bit from one of the flashbacks:
This tears me apart. Do you think it tears him apart to think about? I think it does. I think Laios holds every small failure to care for Falin against himself.
And then there's the Bigger stuff. The way that him coping with his own trauma ended up impacting her.
Like his interest in monsters. Like him going to find a ghost, and accidentally revealing Falin's magic to the whole village in the process.
Like him needing to leave. And leaving her behind.
He shaped her life so much, and he carries so much guilt for it. And again, there should have been other people there to help. The same things that made Laios need to leave home are the things that made his leaving so hard on Falin. She ate alone after that. She shouldn't have had to eat alone just because Laios wasn't there.
She was 9 when he left for school, and he was 11.
Nine. And Laios feels like he failed her because he didn't stand by her through this better. As an eleven year old.
Both of these kids deserved so much better from the world.
#dunmeshi analysis#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#falin touden#laios touden#dungeon meshi spoilers#AND this isn't even getting into her leaving the academy & how much it seems like that was directly tied to how poorly he was doing#there's a comic in the adventurer's bible where marcille is like 'yeah she had a job lined up and everything'#and like. do you think he feels bad for that too#like he wrecked her life by leaving#and wrecked her life by showing up#what do you even do at that point. if you feel like a failed protector when you are away & and a burden when you return#unable to make yourself accept. unable to make yourself resist#Laios strongest moment is when he lets himself accept that. the contradiction of his life & his relationship with Falin#that he has to kill her to save her#as a small note this came out a little more focused on Laios' POV with this stuff but Falin's experience of it is v important to me too#didn't mean to sideline her but her feelings about stuff are more speculative and probably need a post of their own
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carrying each other :з
#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt#villain pb&j duo#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt donnie#fun fact mikey being the strongest/second strongest is prolly my fav hc#little man with big power......#vpbj mikey even more so cuz u prolly need that muscle mass to handle prosthetics no matter how lightweight#hes not exactly a jock but sometimes hes so jock-coded#nerd donnie who asked for no pickles and his little brother jock mikey who WILL fold you for adding pickles#aaaghh not to go on a second unrelated tangent but i love these unspoken lil things in their dynamic......#mikey being so protective and supportive their whole childhood cuz he was a lot more favorable in draxums eyes + got insane powers#and was forced to believe hes like a god or smthing thats probably important too. the strong infallible protector of the yokai#while donnie got the short end of the stick in terms of parental validation and self-esteem#and even when they grow out of that dynamic it still dictates some things in their current relationship#idk how to word it but thinking about it makes me so sad for them
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Sequel to Sunshade
#my art#warrior nun#wn fanart#avatrice#still set in:#au where they get to go home and take a nap at the end of s2#Ig I felt bad I drew a fluffy snuggling scene and still didn’t let poor B rest#my painting ‘sunshade’ is structured around a visual pun#(cause people call B a ‘sunshine protector’ and funny if more literal)#but what makes avt so good is how A coaxes B out of the protector role and A is given space to not always be sunny#the sunshine protector/knight-princess dynamic is exhausting for both parties (which is why JC/ Ava doesn’t work)#so here’s the natural follow up#couldn’t think of a good pun for the caption though. Moonshine?#I actually really enjoy where the series left off. Their relationship is thematically complete.#(<- Burying this deep in the tags because I know nobody agrees with me)#imerr fanart#me: I’m totally over WN — also me:
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i was never the child you wanted
father
#hollow knight#hollow knight fanart#hollow knight hornet#silksong#silksong hornet#sorry sorry i have been thinking about failed relationships#pk pushed away a family for the crown and that family didn’t include hornet from the get go#it’s always been the pure vessel. it’s never been her. it will never be her#my art#didn‘t know how to draw it without it being too much so her ‘looking in’ at the scene was what i settled on#didn’t give her a needle to emphasize her as the pale king’s daughter and not the protector of hallownest
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I love it when they made a whole couple photoshoot magazine cover and a two page spread dedicated to how much of a power couple they are. Just to tell us, they're such great FRIENDS 🥰
#star trek#star trek tos#spock#james t kirk#spirk#protector ☆ trust ☆ birds of a feather ☆ one mind#girl what could it all mean!!!#this reads like a cosmopolitan magazine on celebrity relationship 😭😭
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wade and logan being so protective of each other not because they can't die but exactly BECAUSE of that. because no one else thinks they need to be protected when really that's all they want, and this is something that only the other person fundamentally understands
#user: gossippool 😝#like they will always be the protector in any other relationship#they are the people that no one else has to worry about and that gets sooo fucking exhausting physically and mentally#god imagine how it feels to finally have that in each other FOREVER#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine#deadpool#wade wilson#wolverine#logan howlett#just woke up lmao
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omg hiiiii i love ur writing smm <33 could i ask for a scenario of tanner x male reader where reader was super shy when he was bullied but years later tanner finds out he's somehow become a badass gang leader who wouldn't hesitate to beat his ex-bully up... i wonder what tanner's reaction would be to that hehe
also can i be 💖 anon? once again thank u <33
how sweet of you to say, thank you!! and to both your questions- yes, you may :) 💖 anon you shall be!
i will say, in his intro, seeing his darling act so reclusive and anxious after high school was what triggered him to rethink his actions- he wouldn't be quite as submissive towards him at first with his darling if he didn't go through that revelation. so tanner is a bit bitchy here since the "why is y/n acting like that"-> "oh no i've hurt him bad haven't i"-> "i'm in LOVE with him" process hasn't happened here.
thus, tanner is still in denial here :p and not as patient with his darling as he typically is
---
yandere ex-bully x gang leader male reader
(cws: violence (not against reader), organized crime, bullying, yandere is victim blaming, stalking)
tanner thought about you more often than he would ever care to admit. the shy, nervous boy he met in school who would cower from him like a scared puppy. something about you just made his hackles rise- he felt strange every time he'd seen you mumble and blush around him.
the strange feeling was annoyance, surely. you had been asking for attention, looking and acting the way that you did. you were always so shy and deferential around other people, always going along with being the butt of the joke. it was only natural that you were picked on a little.
but he'd matured since high school. he knew that bothering people and playing pranks on them was immature, no matter if you were basically asking for it. and if he'd seen you now he's sure you two would be polite and civil. you'd simply laugh and agree with him that he was a dick, and then you two could be best friends.
... or something. it wasn't like he thought about what meeting you again would be like.
and it was normal for people that went to the same high school to want to be curious about what their fellow past classmates had been up to, so he'd done some simple digging on you out of curiousity. nothing out of the ordinary. but you'd seem to have gone completely off the map, he'd not been able to find anything about you.
he was agitated that he couldn't learn more. he was worried for your safety, was all. i mean, you never posted anything online. for all he knew you could be dying or something. it was natural that he'd feel anxious right now.
but, he simply had to give up. he'd been trying to approach it from different angles, but he'd accepted that he'd reached a dead end.
except... until now. he was idly slouched over on the couch in front of his television, the news on as background noise. then, he perked up when he saw a familiar face come up on the screen.
it was your face that was glaring into the camera with a look of pure hatred, one that you certainly didn't have when he knew you.
good lord, what the hell happened to you?
"suspected gang activity in eastcliff- residents beware," the graphic read at the bottom of the screen.
he rushed to his laptop, wanting to check the arrest records for your shared state. he hadn't even considered this when he was looking up where you had been, it would have never have occurred to him that you would have gotten yourself in that much trouble.
and once the full report had loaded up? yes, it seemed that you actually were a criminal. you were arrested on a few charges but they got mysteriously dropped due to "unforeseen circumstances."
you hadn't been convicted of any felony charges yet, but he could tell that you were indeed involved in organized crime... somehow. and quite awfully high up in it, if you had corrupt police officers helping you escape any justice at all. it would have seemed like a laughable idea to him before, but he couldn't argue with what was right in front of him.
tanner scrunched his face up, his mind feeling blank from shock. how could this have happened? how could someone like you end up with such an... exciting life? how could you have turned out even more dangerous than him? his mouth felt dry, as a sense of bitterness seeped into him.
he didn't even know how to see what you were up to, to see why you turned out the way you did. surely you must have been forced into it. you couldn't have changed so much so fast otherwise. you were just a puppet with a nice face for the real people on top, obviously.
he felt a bit of bitter agitation, and tapped his leg as he thought. he couldn't live his whole life in mystery. he needed to know more about you.
there was one thing he could try...
---
it seems that his gambit to getting information about you had got your attention.
though, nothing could have prepared him from seeing you in front of him. you glared at him fiercely, your face so close to his that he felt your hot breath on his skin.
the eyes that used to be wide and quivering when you were younger were now narrowed and sharp. all he could see was the ice cold rage on your face. it was disorienting, to you someone shift into such a completely different person that you were nearly unrecognizable.
from a little puppy of a boy... to a fearsome wolf.
"of all the things you could do, tanner, you called my mother? don't you dare fuck with her," you growled at him, tugging hard at his shirt.
since when did you get balls? he felt that bubbling uneasy feeling he used to get whenever you were around him... only this time, it was stronger. he didn't like how this new you was effecting him.
you seemed much more dangerous than he was... and he didn't like it. wasn't it him who used to intimidate you? whatever happened to that?
he tried to laugh back at you, trying to stuff away any strange urges his brain was throwing at him.
"oh, come on- y/n, fuck with her? you're acting like i was trying to hurt her or something. i just called her. listen i know i was kind of a dick but really, you're making me out as the bad guy here and-"
you clocked him, hard on his temple. tanner stopped rambling and let out a small groan, the sharp throbbing pain causing him to fall down to one knee.
he opened his mouth to talk, but before he could say anything, you were already leaning down in his face.
"i don't want to hear from you ever again, you piece of shit. don't call or talk to me or my mother if you want all of your limbs intact. you may not know this, but i'm a big deal around here now. do not fuck with me," you say, your voice thick with anger.
for some reason... it felt like sparks and butterflies were running through him. something snapped inside his brain, connecting things. it occurred to him sudden why he had always felt so strange about you, why he was so obsessed with you.
you were hot. and this new you? strangely, he didn't dislike it at all.
"... got it," he said, breathily.
though, he didn't intend on keeping his promise.
#yandere x reader#male yandere#yandere oc#yandere x you#yandere oc x reader#tanner whitlock#male reader#i think tbh that this dynamic could be very interesting since tanner would have to rethink his strategy towards courting his darling#his instinct would usually have him want to act as a protector figure since he thinks strength is what he can bring to a relationship#but if his darling clearly is stronger/more dangerous he'll probably feel the need to switch things up quite a bit#though he’s still going to be whiny and desperate ala this scenario lol
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hear me out. au where hap never dies n becomes a father figure to all the kids
#i actually had this in mind for ages n i really wish i can write to make this#brooklynn is very obviously his favorite btw#ben and kenji coming close second but the tension between him and ben never leaves. their relationship is all about mutual respect#sammy always tries to get hap to laugh#they need a protector ok??#jurassic world camp cretaceous#jwcc#kenji kon#ben pincus#yasmina fadoula#sammy gutierrez#brooklynn jwcc#darius bowman#hap jwcc
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stay gold is for darry too (except this is what i meant to say the first time b4 i got distracted)
“when you’re young and the world is new / it’s easy to forget when you’re trying just to make it through”
darry is 20 years old and for the first time he’s having to learn about bills and when to pay them and how to pay them, he’s having to learn about debt works and how long he can take to pay them back. he’s having to learn how to budget because suddenly he can’t take whatever change he has left at the end of the day to take his brothers to the rodeo or the bookstore, instead that change has to go to something more sustainable.
and darry has a one track mind. to him, since he has to play guardian, since he has to play parent, he’s not allowed to have fun anymore. he has to work day in and day out to keep his brother yes, but he’s also working so his brothers don’t have to work this hard. he’s working this hard in hopes that one day, hopefully in a year or so, they’ll have enough saved up so he can stop playing parent. he’s hoping they’ll have enough saved up so this child can stop walking in his dad’s enormous shoes and can finally be a kid again.
he’s opening at the end of this he can finally just be a friend and a brother again. the thing is though darry forgets. he forgets about the now. he forgets how sensitive his brothers are; soda makes a point for darry to know he can lean on him if he needs to, but sometimes darry gets a little to comfortable and forgets to remind soda the same. darry and pony used to be a whole lot closer before their parents died. but after darry forgets how sensitive he is; pony likes playing big and bold (like every 14 year old) so he’s forgets that pony really is just a baby. he forgets that pony lost his parents too at a really young age and needs a bit more comfort; darry forgets to offer that comfort.
darry never neglects his brothers, god no he doesn’t. in his mind, he eats dinner… most nights with them, he’s usually not back til late, eating dinner with the dim light above the stove. he sees them to bed though! he makes sure they’re all ready for bed and can find him if they need him, though pony has taken to finding soda instead which… is new.
#still not an analysis#darry’s 20 yall#he’s three apples tall#he’s forgotten who he is#this world is new#and he’s forgotten how to keep his relationship with his brothers#he’s caught between the role of a brother and a father#except he’s trying so hard to be a good “father’’#that he forgot how to be a brother#which is arguably more important#bc ya the boys need a father but they don’t /need/ a father#they’ve already lost theirs and they’re and their old enough to function without him#instead what they need is their brother#someone who’s supposed to be their protector from the invisible things like nightmares and scary thoughts#they need their brother more than their father but#bless his one track mind#darry doesn’t recognize that#all he can think of his how young they are#you’re honor please 🙏🏾#i miss them#brb just thought of the most perfect fic#(pony runs away blah blah blah#darry’s scared shitless and sodas not talking to him#in one last ditch effort for help he goes to his parents grave and just rants to them#he falls asleep and when he wakes up his dads there#he has a conversation with his dad that leaves him in tears when he actually wakes up)#the outsiders#darry curtis#ponyboy curtis#sodapop curtis
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Going from detailed outline to full text when you're writing a fic is so funny because the story I've alread written keeps fucking happening to me
Like what do you mean it has a point? When the fuck did that story about misunderstandings and trauma and making fun of the batfam for making assumptions while also feeling sorry for them turn into asking uncomfortable questions about my career choices ? Where did that Diana/Cass parallel come from? Why is my therapist highjacking my story???!!
#the protector#ao3#ao3 writer#ap3 wip#ao3 jason todd#ao3 red hood#ao3 batfam#batfam fanfiction#batfam fanfic#what the fuck#the fuck when you accidentally psychoanalyse yourself while writing fanfiction#*slams laptop shut* I need to work on my relationship with my mom#batman#dc#batman & robin#batfam#Batfamily
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If we’re going to talk about underrated pjo friendships we need to talk about Grover and Annabeth
#pjo#pjo frienships#underrated pjo friendships#annabeth chase#grover underwood#grover and annabeth#pjo friendships#relationships#underrated#we always talk about percy and grover but never annabeth and grover#she met him first#he was her protector when she was only 7#percy jackson and the olympians#heroes of olympus#hoo#percy jackson#leah sava jeffries#aryan simhadri#percy jackson show
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it's so wild to look at s1!buck compared to s7!buck
#obvs he went from fuckboy to loveboy (rather quick but thats what happens when he realises he wants something bad enough)#which can be paralleled to his bisexual speedrun in 7x04 and 7x05 and also a bit of 7x06. but i'm actually#talking about how he went from the big strong selfless hero protector archetype for abby (but also as a firefighter identity) in s1#to s7 where he's being taken care of in his relationship with tommy and being prioritized by his partner (who also happens#to be a firefighter) which is new and wonderful but there's also no imbalance of care; tommy is open and honest about how he#feels and buck meets him with open honesty in return - they meet in the middle! - it's just so cathartic for buck's storyline to see#how much he opens himself up to love in s1 and yearns to be wanted as much in return but it doesn't happen (and continues not to)#but with tommy he finally has someone who wants him just as much in return- and moreover we see buck being himself (evan!)#with tommy which is so freeing that he doesn't have to put on the buck persona: he can be goofy and dumb and vulnerable + needy#and tommy wants all of it all of him. i know we haven't seen much of their relationship so far and obvs they're still in the#honeymoon phase - which is why i'm so excited for the more settled phase of their rship (we saw a bit of it in the finale)#to see continued proof of them meeting in the middle. and also more instances of tommy caring for buck and wanting all of buck#but yeh just gimme more of buck being comfortably himself and all that means bc he feels seen and safe and wanted by tommy#.txt#parallels#evan buckley
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-- "It's plain she cares for you very deeply." -- "And I her. Which is why I had to let her go."
#joshua rosfield#ffxviedit#final fantasy xvi#jote#ffxvi#i have so many feelings!!#i think it's really interesting that jote and joshua have never had an equal dynamic in their relationship#jote has been a protector of joshua's since she was little#even before he regained consciousness she was caring for him#the undying weren't sure he would ever wake up and when he did they must have been so afraid to lose him again#the undying in general are really fraught with their approach to the rosfields and the phoenix/the all-too-willing self-sacrifice#joshua never stood a chance of having a normal childhood regardless of where he grew up#and presumably jote also grew up in the undying so she has never truly experienced a peer to peer relationship with joshua#as soon as joshua woke up she was helping him to stay well and accompanying him on his journey#and in this scene she can't imagine not being by his side#she's scared for his safety but also probably very lost#what does she do with her life now? where does her energy go if not to protecting the phoenix?#i wonder about how jote and joshua feel about each other romantically#i know that they may not feel that way toward each other at all#the romantic shipper in me would like to think they do#it's just such a complicated and special and tender dynamic between them
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I feel like a lot of huntlow fans forget how truly pathetic hunter is
#don’t get me wrong I love it#but it’s canon that willow if VERY much a protector in the relationship#and also drags hunter around#it’s adorable and I love hunter#but he’s truly the definition of little guy#the owl house#huntlow#hunter toh#willow toh
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1x01 Pilot kitchens
We don't see a lot of kitchens in the pilot episode. The thrust of the Winchesters’ home shots are centered around the family tree (outside), the exterior of the Winchester family home, John and Mary's bedroom, John's den, and of course, Sam's nursery.
Sam's kitchen is little more than a peek-a-boo, but nevertheless, I think it's an important presence here. It's clear that this is the first kitchen Sam's very own, separate from the domestic life of his nursery/youth.
In short, I think the decoration of Sam's living space itself deserves "a kitchen label," notable for it being more personalized and "alive" than almost anything we'll see out of Sam Winchester for a very long time.
////////////////////////////////////
But first, some honorable mentions:
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(1) BAR
The first roadhouse-style bar of friendships
Ah, a festive bar. A place where we gather to drink and be merry, to celebrate life's milestones. (Or conversely, to nurse our hurt feelings.) Here, Sam's girlfriend and classmates try to coax Sam out of his perfectionistic shell. At Stanford, Sam is called "golden boy" and is clearly a hard worker.
He's the specter of the (quickly-burning-out) gifted kid. The overachiever. (We'll see this echoed in other underdog characters like Kevin Tran and Patience Turner. They work so hard because so much is stacked against them. But that work ethic is a candle burning at both ends. Sam is a bit of a head-down, stick-in-the-mud guy, like how Patience Turner in 13x03 Patience doesn't do "fun" because she's so busy with the "successful" planning of her life.
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(2) A DINER
It’s not a family diner, per se, but in a sense, it's almost familial. Small-town. Outside of it, we see the vic's girlfriend, Amy, putting up missing posters.
Inside, she sits and talks with Sam and Dean, being supported by her friend. (Aside: We also see the first protective amulet, which is echoed in the symbol hanging above John's bed. And of course, the amulet that passed from Bobby to Sam to Dean.)
(2a) Coffee cups of domesticity: Sam and Dean drink from matching white mugs, a symbolic shared space of family, of domestic rhythms. We'll see coffee featuring heavily in shows like The Winchesters, with the core four using it as a way to signify their blended "work-family."
But in this episode, we see it in the mode of the shared childhood domesticity. Siblings are often from the same vine, and they grow out of the same nursery, sharing the first kitchens together as they grow up.
Alternatively, the caffeine symbolizes work. Long hours toiling.
////////////////////////////////////
(3) SAM'S APARTMENT
Sam's apartment is small but cozy, filled with personal affects that are very unlike the Sam we come to know while on the road and the one that later lives in the bunker.
We see a bike, a well-loved reading chair and a dog-eared book, a fun, colorful shirt on a peg. This is certainly "Sam's home" in a way that other places are not. Perhaps it's because this home was so well-nested that it's painful for him to carve out spaces for himself in the future, even under the protective wing of his brother (and later his mother).
(Sam peeks in from the direction of the kitchen.)
Yes, this is a home. Light streams in, and plants, books, and art are everywhere. There is growth. It's like a little Eden. Artwork and esoteric touches are very cute throughout the apartment. Books and reading chairs abound, and we see stacks of document boxes for Sam's studies.
Even in her sleep, Jess is turned towards the sun, like a flower basking in the light.
Also: These beaded dividers were SO popular at this time; I feel so nostalgic! (It's such a college thing! (Of note, Endverse Cas also has a beaded divider like this is his cabin).
///
OTHER ITEMS OF NOTE:
Behind the image of Sam packing a sickle, we see a full bookshelf. Jess comes into the frame, and we see her hearth-coded gray dressing robe hanging on the wall.
It could also be Sam's robe, a sign that at one time, he let himself be clothed in the warmth and comforts of a home. (Perhaps by the time he lands at the bunker, he can't bear it.)
///
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
When she sits, Jess tenderly caresses his travel bag; a microcosm of married life, almost like: "I wish we didn't have to go to work; work interferes with the Living part of life."
We get Jess too, asking her own variant of, "Where are you going?" / "I wish you'd at least tell me where you're going..."
Henry kept things from John, Mary kept things from John, and now Sam keeps things from Jess.
It's also an echo of child-John to Henry, "Where're you goin'?" & "Work."
And also Dean's season 15 plea to Cas, "Where're you going? What's happening?" & "To look for another way."
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SAM LOVES HIS FAMILY BUT HIS APARTMENT IS HIS HOME
Sam certainly has love, affection, and nostalgia for his family, even John. As John still keeps a photo of John in his apartment, we see that John still keeps a photo of the boys:
But after the hunt, Same went home.
He comes through the door, and we more personal item: a bike tire, and two umbrellas (one for him and one for Jess). We also see his big stack of study materials and documents:
////////////////////////////////////
(4) THE KITCHEN
Now, Sam visually enters his (tiny) kitchen:
It's small but full of love. A "welcome home." The camera looks through the bars of the empty table chair, and we glimpse his face. He's touched by the little gesture of love: "Missed you! Love you!"
Jess knows he's stressed out. She tries to support him through it. (He's recently taken the LSAT, and now he's trying to juggle his career obligations with his obligations to his family.)
But these cookies have a dark side.
There's also a cheeky reference to an "offering." (Offerings of produce and meals are shared in gratitude for God's provision.) Here too, as with Mary, Jess will become a ritualized sacrifice, chaining Sam to the narrative.
Sam's very first visualized kitchen... becomes a murder scene.
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SAM WAS GOING TO STAY
Just as Zachariah will in It's a Terrible Life apply extra pressure to pull Dean away from his family life [Bobby, Eileen, and Jo] Azazel applies similar pressure on Sam to pull him away from Jess.
When he gets home to Jess, Sam's relieved. He smiles and grabs a cookie, sighing in relief, feeling loved. (Later in life, Sam seems to struggle to allow himself to eat sweets like this.)
But here, he takes it for what it is: a simple gift of love that he's allowed to eat.
He collapses onto his bed, hearing the calming sound of the shower going in the background. The light is shining on his face...
Until of course it isn't.
That light turns to droplets of blood.
Like Mary is a narrative sacrifical for the audience and gods "above," so too is Jess. The sacrifice occurs, not in Sam's childhood nursery, but at the crossroads of his childhood and adulthood.
Sam echoes John's fate but also Mary's…
In the Beginning (4x03), John was sacrificed by Azazel to put Mary on a certain narrative path, to draw her into a deal. John died right before he was going to commit to a future with Mary, just like Jess died before she would commit to a future with Sam, like Cas died in 12x23 before he could commit to a future with Dean.
///
SAM'S HOME BURNING
Sam's little home is burning.
It's the place where he made his very first, very own kitchen. The place with the paintings and the plants and the chairs... The murder is marked by cruelty and spectacle, as Mary's was:
Azazel’s signature kills often involve twisting the neck (Deanna, John) and/or gutting (Samuel, Mary, and Jess).
Here, Jess's body echoes it all. The stomach, linked to vital organs and emotions ("gut feelings"), symbolize dominance, control, and tye exposing of vulnerability. "The soft underbelly." The bent limbs are meant to send a message, to mock, to create a dramatic display—a very literal "twisted" sense of aesthetics. She’s posed like a doll, with her left "heart-side hand" raised, as if reaching.
Her outfit, unlike her usual nightwear, suggests Azazel dressed her for impact. It’s even possible Azazel turned on the shower and baked the cookies—both calculated to shock Sam.
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THE RESCUE
I'm not sure how much Dean knows about what happened to Mary, but this is quite traumatic for him as well, bringing up all kinds of horrific memories.
Sam cried as he was carried out the first time, and he cries here now.
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BONUS: THE AFTERMATH
Dean looks on at the ashes of Sam's new life; Azazel (in the form of John) looks down at the ashes of Sam's old life.
After the fire, Dean’s pose and jacket mirror Azazel/John, like a ghostly, refracted image. No matter who's at fault, ultimately Dean is the one who feels responsible.
While Dean may deserve some criticism for his human faults, he is often unfairly saddled with blame for everything that goes wrong in his family’s life—caught between genuine mistakes and misplaced accusations.
John, on the other hand, bears far greater responsibility for his wrongdoings. His unhinged paranoia often made his family less safe. And yet, like Lucifer, he is also something of "an Azazel," a "scapegoat." Having already caused so much harm, he becomes a lightning rod for additional blame, absorbing the weight of everything wrong with the world.
John is the felled protector, the failed protector. After all, the snake came into the garden under his watch. (He's really a bit like Gadreel when you think about it.)
#spn pilot#spn 1x01#writer eric kripke#director david nutter#airdate 9-13-2005#spn azazel#sam's kitchen#the roadhouse bar of friendship#the coffee cup of domesticity#new growth new life#budding relationships#consumed by the fire#human sacrifice#the failed protector
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