#didn​‘t know how to draw it without it being too much so her ‘looking in’ at the scene was what i settled on

[hakunoknight]

i was never the child you wanted

father

[strangerthingsmademebi]

Wicked Game

~ Chrissy Cunningham x Fem!Reader~

Summary: You and Chrissy have been dating for a few months but when senior prom comes around you know you can’t go together. So you came up with a plan that will allow you to spend the night with the love of your life even if that means having to see Jason Carver dance with your girl .

warnings: swearing, angst, a bit of fluff. It`s the 80`s so there hints to people being homophobic. Also sorry if the descriptions of senior prom are wrong, I'm not American and so i can only base it off of films. not proofread. 

Senior Prom. 1986

The one night a year that teachers didn`t give a fuck. But you did. And you had worked so hard to get here. Everyone had. It was the last big school event before graduation and you couldn't have been more ecstatic. You were one step closer to getting out of this hell hole called Hawkins. 

The theme this year was “Movie Magic” and you had spent weeks finding the perfect outfit. You were going as Sandy from Grease and to say you looked sexy would be an understatement. 

Even though you couldn`t spend the night with the girl of your dreams you still planned to make it memorable. You and your girlfriend Chrissy had devised a plan to allow you to go to prom together without drawing too much attention. 

Double date. 

You would each take a guy as your date and go as a party of four to prom. It wouldn't be suspicious because everyone assumed you were just close friends and so it wouldn't be surprise that you two would go to prom together. 

It was the perfect plan. Until it wasn`t. 

Chrissy was so beautiful in her pastel pink dress. She had gone as Baby from Dirty Dancing and it could not have been a better choice. You had to stop your self from running up and kissing her when you first saw her. 

Everything was going well. You were laughing and dancing and drinking punch like there was no tomorrow. That was until a slow song came on and you found yourself watching Chrissy across the dance floor while you danced with your “date”. Ben was nice but defiantly not your type. His breath smelled like onion and his hands were always sweaty but you guess what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him. 

You were swaying from side to side and trying to listen to what he whatever nonsense he was rambling on about. But you couldn't take your eyes off her. Why was she laughing? Jason wasn`t funny he was the biggest ass you had ever met. He was the first to ask her so you had to put up with him for one night and one night only. 

Ugh!! He needed to move his hands away from her ass or you would do it for him. His arms around her. Staring at her with hearts in his eyes. A part of you pitied the boy. But the other part of you so desperately wanted to be in his place at that moment in time.

It was getting to much so you extricated yourself from Ben and muttered something about getting some punch.

That was how you found yourself standing by the punch bowl with a scowl.

Why did you agree to this? Would anyone really expect anything, I mean tones of girls went together as friends . We’re you really that paranoid that you were  missing out on spending your senior prom with the only person you ever want to be around?

Yep.

You were that scared but with good reason. You don’t know how people would react and you didn’t want to find out.

But looking at Chrissy. Your Chrissy. You couldn’t do it anymore. Your breathing started to quicken and your hand curled into a fist. You had to get out of there before you punched someone . Most likely Jason for how he was looking at your girl.

And so you found yourself outside the back of the school with your back pressed closely to the wall. You tried to catch your breath and tilted your head towards the star sprinkled sky. God. This was your senior prom and here you were. Alone and trying to fight off tears. 

A sound made your head whip towards the door and to your shock Chrissy appeared. Seeing your distraught state she immediately rushed towards you. 

“Y/N?, what wrong sweetheart?” 

You quickly wiped away the tears that had fallen and looked down. 

“Nothing. I`m just being stupid.” you murmured embarrassed to be caught.

“ Sweetie, Hey, Don`t say that. Please. Why are you out here all alone?” Chrissy spoke softly and with such love that you couldn't help but meet her eyes. 

“ I….. guess i got a little jealous” you answered quietly so she could only just hear what you said. 

“Jealous?” she stifled a little chuckle and reach out to touch your cheek. She gently brushed the apple of your cheek with her thumb while she gazed at you. God her eyes. they were so beautiful how can they even be real. How can they be in front of you and looking at you with such love and admiration while you tell her your stupid  insecurities. “Of what?” 

“You … and Jason.” You looked down in embarrassment but Chrissy used her pointer finger to tip your chin back up. She looked at you with such sincerity and something to say seriously? him ?.

“Oh baby.” She pulled you closer and her lips gently brushed against yours. She smelt and tasted like honey and if felt like you saw heaven (which you swear you saw every time you were with her).

 “ You know i only love you. He's just a beard as is Ben. I`d much rather spend tonight with you especially now that my feet are bruised from the amount of times he's stepped on them tonight.” She chuckled softly. You eyes widen upon hearing she's hurt even if it was an accident. She saw this and rubbed your arm to bring you back to what she was saying.

 “ I defiantly don't like him especially not like that.” She faked a gag which brought the first real smile of the night to your face. Chrissy smiled back and cupped your face with her hands. 

“I'm yours baby and your mine. Ben can piss off and Jason can go fuck himself for all i care. Your my person. Nothing is going to change that Y/N. Nothing!” 

Your shoulders relaxed at that and you pulled her into a passionate kiss which left you both breathless. How were you so lucky? 

“I love you Chrissy. And if Jason ever hurts you again i will end him! I don't care if it an accident no one hurts my girl.” Chrissy chuckled at your statement and hid her head in your neck. She's so warm and cute it made your heart melt. 

“How about we get out of here and go back your place?” Chrissy mumbled into your neck. The vibration sent tingles down your neck. 

“That sounds perfect baby.” You whispered against the crown of her head. Suddenly there was noise that came from the door into the school and stumbling out came Robin Buckley and a girl you could only assume was Vicky. Robin and you had grown close when everything with the upside down was happening. She was one of the only people who knew about you and more specifically you and Chrissy. You also knew about her crush and Vicky and so to see them like this sprouted a seed of hope in your chest that your friend might find the same happiness and love that you felt.  

The two girls were holding hands and giggling which abruptly stopped when all four of you made eye contact. An unspoken understanding settled over everyone.

 A laugh broke the silence and you turned to find Chrissy with a tightened face trying to hold in the rest of her laughs. Soon everyone was laughing loudly. As it died down Robin reached for Vicky's hand and pulled her away to find another hiding spot. As she walked past you held out you hand for Robin to discreetly high five you. 

You turned back to Chrissy and wiped away a tear of joy before holding her soft hand in yours. 

With grins on your faces you walked back to the parking lot but as you left neither of you noticed the flickering street lamp that illuminated your car...

authors note: dun dun dun..... i may do a part two if this does well but i hope you enjoyed this one-shot. side note - why is there such a limited number of Chrissy stories !!!! I may as well just write my own ahahaha.  

[eclecticrecap]

Unfortunately, I think the right of passage of my life is to just accept the fact I will constantly be stuck in horrible decisions to choose from, such as:

My grandmother's house, a small home, only three bedrooms, one my father used (he snores too much that my mother cannot stand to sleep next to him) before he later could live inside the service/wifi forsaken home in the countryside to flourish and replenish a sense of humanity unlike his grubby handed children, whilst working for a pharmacy chain. The other room, was used by my mother, my brother having to sleep in that room because the second guest bed was just so small and my brother was afraid to sleep alone don't you DARE bully him (He won't technically see it but idk it wouldnt sit well on my conscious) And me? Well usually I'd share the master bed with my grandmother up until fated 2020 when I picked up the permanent curse of floor sleeping, you think I would be capable at that time of touching the second floor, even? Let alone a bed? Whilst the OCD brain termites had forsaken my bodily autonomy? I had free will, and permission to sleep on the floor.

But here's another problem, my grandmother's house doesn't particularly have a workspace friendly spot besides her own things, not many easy places to put my drawing tablet and pc without having to uncomfortably sit, so all I really had was the dining room's sewing table, I don't know why the sewing table was so desk-able and serving cunt with that tablecloth ontop of it, (during 2020 I got glitter stuck on it and then one tiny blot of ink.....whoops) BUT NOT ONLY THAT ITS RIGHT NEXT TO THE FUCKING KITCHEN, so I kinda had to settle for just not having a good place to be in Discord voice calls, for a 16yo chronically online during covid time that is a personal nightmare.

And let me tell you it would make me scratch my skin in anxiety and frustration when one day I had been on my pc and smelled the MOST DISGUSTING FUCKING STENCH OF A COUNTERTOP POLISH EVER HOLY SHIT I WENT INTO A SPIRAL OF ANXIETY, I DIDN"T KNOW WHAT TO DO, WHERE TO GO, THE BRAIN TERMITES FORBID ME THE STAIRS, FORBID ME TO SIT AMONGST THE CHAIRS AND COUCHES OF THE LIVING ROOM, HELL, EVEN THE FUCKING BACKYARD.

So I strong-armed through it, she was polishing her countertop for at least 30 minutes, not sure why it took 30 minutes, I arguably was already anxious to be there because she constantly would accuse me of scratching her stove when there wasn't anything noticeable on her stove, one time I placed a knife on there for 5 seconds to get something and the blade didnt even touch the stove and she started getting real mad and said "It's nothing like how it used to look" or something like that when THERE WAS BARELY ANY VISIBLE SCRATCHES ON THIS STOVETOP, I WAS SENT INTO A PANIC I COULDN"T EVNENNb FUCKOJGHN OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY GFOOOOOODDDD

Now, you know how I had dyed my hair a bit during this year? Well when I said I fully bleached my hair, I didn't mention the fact the lower layer of my full head of hair, was dyed red, now, remember the mention of my OCD preventing me from properly showering? Because the brain termites told me using the showers would result in terrible things happening to me? (I genuinely don't know how the fuck I didn't stink if I recall there were some moments I ended up sponge bathing in one of the bathrooms because there's no damn way, it was SUMMER in arizona.)

Well, that resulted in me not spending time to wash my hair, and if you ever dyed your hair (respectively, look at you, I highly doubt theres someone reading this who hasn't, I don't mind being proven wrong.) well, red hair, is messy, and the red dye SOMEHOW WAS TURNING MY SHIRT'S TAG PINK???????? AND WHENEVER I SCRATCFHED MY CRUSTY ASS SCALP, PINK WOULD BECOME MY FINGERTIPS, UNDERNEATH MY NAILS. AND I GUESS BY TOUCHING THE COUNTERTOP...THE FUCKING COUNTERTOP OR ANYTHING I FUCKING TOUCHED TURNED FUCKING PINK???????????????????????????

So you can imagine later in october, when I dyed it dark blue, I would probably run into this same problem, I wanted to wash it in the kitchen sink, since my family often uses sinks to wash hair because WE ARE FREAKS I DONT CARE WHAT IM TOLD I GET IT ITS WEIRD. But I wanted to wait until i could have assistance for it, I believe it was because I didn't know what shampoo to use, and alot of the times I just, crusty teen shit I sucked at washing my own hair.

But my grandmother randomly started thinking I was going to shower, however, I didn't say I was going to shower, now maybe its because I was afraid to use the shower, but even then I was still sponge-bathing to at least keep some form of hygiene, but I had a feeling it was more because of my hair because she didn't give a shit if I was in public spaces, and for her, the person who will openly tell you if she thinks you look too uggo for idk.. a walmart? And I previously was obviously discussing the hair dye transfer problem, so I had decided beforehand to just, wash my hair in the sink, like weird family tradition.

Now this was I believe the day after I dyed it blue, I had to leave the house, and we were supposed to leave the house soon. But suddenly she tells me she would not take me to the store unless my hair was washed, so I was a little anxious, because the brain termites were telling me showers were bad, but I felt like explaining it would make me get laughed at, despite how real those intrusive thoughts feel to someone with OCD, and I didn't predict us being stuck at this house for well... the entire year. It was normal for us to wash hair in the kitchen sink, it's metal, it's been done for years, but she didn't want to wait until I had help with washing my hair in said sink so that was arguably not fun. Thank fuck I'm medicated??????? idk

At least nothing in her house turned blue.

[welovethecloudboytoomuch]

MHA Vigilantes Week 3

Prompt: Light/Soga/Main Series

---

Growing Pains

Soga is not the best role model, and he knows it. Just this week the school had called his mom yet again because he got into another fight. His mother and him had the same old song and dance. With her, telling him off and admonishing him for fighting while saying that he was being a bad example for Eijirou, and with Soga defending himself, only to fall onto deaf ears.  

He doesn’t regret it though, that guy should’ve keep his grimy little hands off of Rapt’s lunch.

As punishment, he’s not allowed outside today. So, he sits in his room and angsts as much as is physically possible for an 11 year-old. It’s no use throwing a fit and tearing apart everything in his room with his quirk. He might really get grounded for that. So, he spends his day scowling at his books, flipping though the pages, looking at the back covers and not quite reading them.

The day passes slowly without anything to distract him before he picks up a random notebook and starts scribbling. He’s halfway through a drawing when he hears a ear piercing scream ring out from outside his room.

It’s Ei!

Instantly, he’s on alert, heart rate quickening. He throws away his pencil and throws open his door.

He can hear the cries better now. It’s coming from the garage.

Soga flings open the heavy door, fully expecting to see Eijirou hobbling back into the house after falling off of his bike again.  But that’s not what he sees.

Eijirou is partially bent over, one hand holding onto the garage workbench, the other, on his face holding onto a gash that has blood gushing from his forehead.  

Soga rushes to his side, unsure of what to do. He tries to get Eijirou’s attention, but he��s having a hard time keeping his eyes open from both the tears and the blood.

“Hey!” Soga shouts, trying to yell over Ei’s own screams. He puts a hand on his shoulder and shakes him. That seems to steady him as Ei tries to open his other eye to look at his brother. He sniffles and still cries pathetically. 

Soga tries to see how it happened, but all the tools on the tool bench are still hung up and away where Ei can’t get them. His bike is parked in the corner where it should be, and Ei doesn’t seem to be hurt anywhere else.

Eijirou still wails in his grip. There’s a lot of blood.

Soga hears heavy footsteps above him, and he calls out to their mom. A moment later, she bursts into the room and sees little Eijiro holding onto his bleeding face. She rushes to her knees and brings Ei to her.

She looks up to Soga. “What happened?” she asks curtly.

“I don’t know I just heard him crying and saw him here,” Soga explains. 

Their Mom begins to shush Ei while she shoots Soga an unimpressed look. “Soga, seriously, what happened?” She asks, her voice hard.

“I just told you!” he says, huffing.

His mother lets out a loud frustrated sigh. “Soga, I can’t deal with this right now and your brother is hurt. He might need stitches!”

“I told you. I don’t know!” he says in a voice too loud for it not to be defensive. 

“Fine, don’t tell me.” She huffs. “I’m talking Ei to the hospital and you are going to go to your room, and staying there.”

“What? But I didn-”

“Soga!” she barks sternly. It shocks him, and forces him to back down. Her voice cools as she says. “Go to your room we will speak about this later.”

Now it’s Soga’s turn to be angry. He stomps off towards his room and lets the garage door shut with force.

---

Kaina Kirishima doesn’t know what she’s supposed to do.

She sits in the waiting room of urgent care and carefully measures her breaths. It’s not easy being a single mother, and she just didn’t expect it to get like this. She sighs.

She’s worried for Eijirou. He never been that freaked out ever. Sure, he’s had his fair share of scrapes and tumbles, and she taught her little man it was okay to cry, but still, he had looked scared.

And Soga. She doesn’t know what to do next. The finances just aren’t there to get him the help he needs and the school is no help at all.

Those bastards she grimaces.

They took one look at her kid and said his quirk was villainous. It doesn't help that that the people in this neighborhood seem to have long memories and can recall what happened when Soga's quirk first came in. She wishes she could move them away to another school, but that just isn’t in the cards right now. She can only hope his temper gets better when he goes to high school.

And at that, she cringes thinking of Eijriou. Soga didn’t have any answers for why Eijirou got hurt, and there is... one obvious answer, but she doesn’t want to think about it. She doesn’t want to think that Soga  is capable of hurting his little brother. Still…

She closes her eyes.

Eijirou does end up getting stitches. He sniffles miserably and holds onto her shirt in a death grip as the nurse pokes around his eye and calmly explains how to re-apply the bandage.

It’s then, when she notices that his grip on her shirt… hurts. She hears the tearing of cloth and looks down. Eijirou’s hands look rocky and sharp as he clutches onto her T-shirt. 

“Eijirou?”

He looks over at her confused.

She attempts to reach down and move his hands from her shirt, but quickly pulls back when something sharp bites into her. Kiana watches red flows down from the tip of her finger. 

“Oh!” the nurse reacts looking at Kiana's hand, “You oughta be careful with that quirk young man. You okay mom?”

It takes a moment for Kiana to process what she’s just heard, and the nurse looks expectantly at her as he waits for a response.

Oh,

It’s his quirk.

---

It’s all Kiana can do to hold it together as she drives home. Of course, it’s his quirk she should have seen this coming, but Eijirou still felt so young…

He sits in the back seat, buckled up in his booster seat, slumped over and snoring quietly. He was exhausted from cyring his eyes out and the trip to the hospital so she had carried him back to the car. 

"I hate it." he said sleepily. 

"Hate, what baby?" 

"M'quirk." He said muffled into her shoulder. 

She brings the sleeping Eijriou into the house. She calls out to Soga, but receives no response. He’s probably still mad at her.

She tucks Ei into his bed before she goes to find Soga.

She knocks gently, as pushes opens the door, “Soga? Soga, I’m sorry honey-” she says, but stops when she sees she not there. 

A moment of panic flushes through her body as she looks around the room and sees no sign of him. Until she notices a hastily scribbled note on the top of his desk.

It reads: 

At Moyuru’s -S

Her breath stutters. Panic and relief and sorrow all get caught in her throat as she tries to swallow.

She’d been too harsh, too much.

God, she wishes she had some help.

She lets tears silently fall as her large hands clutch onto the back of Soga’s chair.

She lets it out, as her sternum shakes and her hands threaten to crush the wood underneath them.

Then, she straightens her back, wipes away the tears on her face, and goes to call Mrs. Moyuru.

//

I'm so sorry I'm posting this for your birthday but Happy Birthday Soga!

[todomochi-uwu]

“In Between Aces”

Pairing: Ushijima Wakatoshi x reader; Bokuto Koutarou x reader

Warnings: Smut; Porn without plot

Author´s note: And I said fuck it, no one will give me a threesome between Toshi and Kou, so I did it myself, enjoy. (I went through hell trying to find a photo for this story)

To be quite honest, you didn´t know how you ended up here. A minute ago you were dancing and celebrating with your friends, congratulating them for having made it into the national team for the Olympics; but now your jaw was sore and drool ran down your chin, the rearranging of your guts made you feel completely high. The only things that could be heard in the room were groans and your muffled moans. The two volleyball players were filling your holes and you were loving it.

"Fuck baby girl, if you keep sucking me like that I'm gonna go crazy." Bokuto´s groans made you clench, even more, making the man behind you grunt in pleasure. Your mouth was screaming in pain, but you couldn't care less, you wanted to feel the warm and saltiness of his cum ran down your throat and wouldn´t stop till you do. Bokuto looked breath-taking, his head was thrown back, his abs kept clenching along with the muscles in his firm thighs, his hair had gone down because of the sweat and the pulling of it, the pupils in his eyes were completely blown out and the red in his lips made you want to suck on them.

When he decided to back off to give you a break, the sounds coming out of you wouldn´t stop turning more into whines and cry outs, "Ushi, please fuck me harder!" You begged; eyes in the back of your head, tongue coming out of your mouth, in complete ecstasy.

Ushijima's eyebrows were furrowed in concentration, his bottom lip trapped in between his teeth, sweat running down his back as he kept pivoting into you. Your inner high school girl was doing backflips, finally getting the man of her dreams in between her legs. Ushijima not only had the looks of a Greek god, but you were convinced he was also one, a sex god. The way he would aim right into your G-spot was amazing, the head of his cock kissing your cervix while he tried to fit all of his length inside you; the glow of your fluids running down his sack and thigh made you clench once again, making him shiver in pleasure.

Bokuto entered once again in the picture, this time he was smirking while making sure your attention was only on him, "Don't you dare forget about me, baby; I'm nowhere near done with you." Manhandling you, he managed to put you on top of Ushijima, your chest pressed against his. You barely heard the sound of him opening the lube bottle and a second later, a finger was lubricating and teasing your rim.

"You think we are both going to fit in?" Ushijima said slowing down his rhythm, you protested silently.

"She's a big girl, I'm sure she can take it," Bokuto said confidently, eager for the next part. He wouldn't be doing this if he knew you couldn´t take it.

After a few minutes of thrusting three of his fingers in and out, paying close attention to the way you reacted to them, Bokuto decided it was time. Pushing the head of his engorged cock into your hole, slowly, you were able to feel absolutely everything. The prominent vein that adorned the underside of his member, the thickness of it and how hard it felt inside you. Every single thing managed to overwhelm you, making you tighten around them, both men grunted at the same time.

Finding a rhythm, they started to increase their pace, Ushijima using his legs and his hips to thrust quicker and deeper, leaving bites and hickeys all over your collarbone and neck, his moans were becoming louder and desperate; while Bokuto wouldn't stop leaving kissed down your back, his eyes were set in the place were his member and your hole collide. The tight sensation was throwing them over the edge, they could feel each other in every thrust, making everything much more intense.

"Fuck!" Ushijima moaned he could feel his balls tightening, his hand travelled down searching for your clitoris, pressing down and drawing small but quick circles on it with his thumb; this made you moan even louder, the knot on your stomach was just about to burst and the tears in your eyes kept falling.

Bokuto was holding back, his climax was just around the corner but he couldn't let himself go just yet, not before you did. So he changed the angle of his thrust and the speed his movements, trying to calm himself down from the way your walls were holding him like a vice.

The only thing you could do was moan, your body felt like a limp and your thoughts were nowhere making sense, their names kept coming out of your mouth like a prayer, begging them for release. And within seconds, a strong but pleasant sensation filled your entire body, going from your head to your core, you felt pressure being release down there.

"Holy shit!" You heard Bokuto's amazement, but couldn't register what was going, Ushijima's eyes were also wide opened. "I can't believe we made her fucking squirt!" Bokuto was proud of himself.

"We?" Ushijima responded.

Bokuto glared at him, but the annoyed look on his face was quickly replaced with a pleasant one, he was at his limit; and with this, Bokuto groaned your name, loudly, before spilling himself inside of you, shots of white gold tainted your walls making you shiver from the feeling. He pulled out and fell on the bed, completely exhausted.

Now Ushijima was the only one left, impatient, he put his knees on the bed and hold your hips, thrusting into you with such a rapid speed it made you cry out, too sensitive for it. "Fuck Ushi, please cum." Trying to help, it was simply becoming too much for you, "Common daddy, cum inside of me, fill me up." And it seemed to work, in seconds Ushijima was biting your shoulder and pinching your skin with his nails. His cum filled you up to the brim, leaking down both of your thighs.

The three of you were completely worn out, you were still laying on top of Ushijima trying to recover, both mentally and physically, form what just happened, no one dared to open their mouth. With the little strength left in him, Bokuto took you into his arms and laid you down on the bed, cuddling you, making sure you were okay.

"Everything alright, love?" You simply nodded, throwing your arm over your eyes. "Well fuck me, never thought I would end up in the same bed as Ushiwaka." He giggled.

Ushijima simply stared at him, "Never thought I would end up in the same team as you."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!"

[saintprinsessa]

Feeling You: Wanda x Fem!reader

Summary: You were in the middle of a war zone, the Avengers had found Hydra’s base and planned on attacking them by surprise, but the plans didn´t go as initially thought.

You saw how Wanda was in danger and you just went to help her.

Even if it cost you everything.

Trigger warning: Explicit descriptions of serious injuries (broken bones and burns), just a bad word, a little self-consciousness, and a lot of angst.

Words: +5000 (Got carried away)

Author´s note:

I don´t love this one, it made my heart ache a bit tho.

This takes place when Vision was still awkward with the Avengers, so he is going to talk with more estimation.

Also more Agatha ones are coming! :)

Any mistakes are on me and me only!

Anyways, please enjoy!

--------------------------------------

The team was trapped, you were going in front, trying to clean the way to give access to Cap and Widow, they needed to enter the building and destroy the heart of it.

While fighting some guards, you looked up instinctively and saw Wanda attacking from a high position in the air, throwing energy blasts towards some armored trucks.

She is safe.

A bad feeling hit your gut, and your eyes searched around the field.

They landed on a guy who was standing on a tall rock not so far from you.

Before you could react, he shot an electric net, which captured Wanda, instantly wrapping leaving her motionless and shocking her until she was unconscious.

With widened eyes, following her all the time, you ran into the guy, throwing him into the nearest tree, knocking him over, and ran to catch Wanda.

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

You gave yourself an electromagnetic impulse, and then your body was collapsing into Wanda’s in the air, but as soon as you touched her, the electric shot went through you, you shut your eyes tight and groaned.

You grabbed the net, your eyes started blooming with light, and with an inhuman effort, you tore it from her body, making her fall from you.

The net was giving you electric shots but you did your best to let Wanda land without her getting hurt.

Her body landed gracefully.

Yours not.

You were like a ragdoll being thrown into the ground, your ribs crunched, twisting inside you and making your organs turn, one of your arms twisted backward, you grunted loudly as your head hit the ground in a bumping motion, and you were dragged various meters, the hard rock floor cutting through your skin and bruising you.

Slightly dizzy, you managed to lift your head.

You needed to see if Wanda was okay.

And when you saw her chest rising slowly, you let go a relieved sigh.

Widow, Cap, and Bruce screamed at you, and by the time you were processing what they said, an explosion was the last thing you heard.

And then everything went black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wanda jolted awake terrified, breathing sharply, holding the sheets for her dear life.

What happened?

She cleaned some of the sweat on her forehead and started to ease her nerves, trying to calm herself.

Wanda left her room and went to the kitchen, the halls of the Avenger’s tower were empty.

Strange.

When she arrived, they were all gathered in there, all with worried looks on their faces, some facing the ground, some staring at something.

And then, the realization hit her.

Someone was carrying her back to the ship, in the middle of all the shouting and explosions, she saw that they were winning, she could remember that something hit her and she lost balance, but she was confused, she was falling from high, why her body was unharmed?

Then she saw another body being carried near her, and she quickly recognized who it was.

You.

But she couldn’t see your face, it was blurry and fading, your body seemed...

Lifeless.

Then she fainted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Where is (y/n)?”

The question was hesitant, almost like a whisper, and bit her bottom lip.

Maybe she just didn’t want to hear the answer to that question.

Wanda searched between all of them, they looked at each other with sad faces.

Clint avoided her eyes, Natasha was fiddling her fingers, lost in her mind; Cap looked at her but quickly returned his gaze to the floor.

Vision was leaning onto the counter with his arms folded.

“Vision.”

He flinched, Wanda used a stern tone, not a good sign.

“Where is (y/n)?”

Her thick sokovian accent slipped, the question was venenous, her eyes flashed red for a second.

Vision couldn’t bear it anymore, that was too much pressure.

“This compromises me a lot, Wanda, (y/n) fervently asked us to not tell you.”

He said nervous, clasping his hands together while he approached her.

“She is currently at Dr. Banner´s laboratory.”

As soon the sentence left his mouth, Wanda hurried off the room.

Vision turned around to watch the other’s faces, who only nodded, and quickly followed Wanda.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The doors of the lab flushed brutely open, Banner jumped backward losing balance and fell, Wanda made her way towards him stomping, her magic surrounding her menacing.

“Where?”

Her eyes lighted up dangerously for a second as a warning.

Bruce only pointed on a left hall, quickly shooting up on his feet and guiding Wanda, she was following closely, every step as a threat for him to walk faster.

He unlocked the door and Wanda pushed him aside, not having a pinch of patience.

She gasped.

You were nowhere to be seen.

If looks could kill, Banner would be three meters underground.

“I- I swear I left her here.”

He put his hands as if surrender, he quickly went to check your last vital signals registered on the machines.

“Her body was recovering quickly.”

He smiled nervously at Wanda, her anger was replaced with concern.

Thousands of negative thoughts were racing on her mind.

Vision appeared, traversing through the wall, his eyes saw the empty gurney in front of him and then settled on Wanda.

“I bet she is breathing and stable, Wanda.”

He tried to comfort her while he patted her shoulder, just for Wanda to turn and hug him.

She started sobbing like a child, she couldn’t contain herself.

She had so many things to tell you.

Vision soothed her, caressing her back awkwardly, he didn’t know what to do with human emotions.

-----------------------------------------------

Four weeks had passed.

You hadn’t shown any signals of life.

Tony had sent multiple drones to seek for you, the other avengers were searching every day in your favorite spots around the town.

Wanda, on the other side, every day that passed, the first thing that she did was go to your room, and run her hand through the sheets of your bed, your figure still draw in them, she would spend the whole day locked in there.

She also had a shirt that you gave her, she would sleep every night in her bed, hugging the shirt tightly.

“I should have told you, I should have done so many things, (y/n).”

She felt heavy, her eyes swollen for crying till she was dry, her throat sore, she was tired.

She still hoped that one day, she would wake up, go to your room and you would be there.

You would be sleeping peacefully, waiting to the alarm to wake you and spend your day making the avengers laugh at your silly jokes, training almost half of the day, and in the afternoon, while everyone was occupied, you would approach silently to Wanda’s bedroom, hesitantly deciding if knock or not the door, which she would sense you and would permit you to enter, you would find her sitting leg-crossed in her bed, while watching a 50’s black and white sitcom.

She would invite you with a warm smile and a slight nod, asking silently for you to sit on her side.

At some point in the show, she would look at you from the corner of her eye.

You would be watching the show attentive, trying to understand what was happening, but your thoughts, were flooding with Wanda’s presence, how warm she felt, how her company calmed you, she made you happy, she made you feel safe.

You would feel that someone is looking at you, and you would turn to see Wanda, who is now looking at you fully, with a small blush on her cheeks.

You would smile at her, your heartbeat would rise and your eyes would gleam with emotions.

Wanda would retrieve the smile.

“Hey.”

You would say cheerily.

“Hey.”

She would reply sheepishly.

The show would end and you would ask if she wants to see another episode.

She would say yes.

She always says yes to you.

And you would spend the entire afternoon watching the show, maybe you would leave Wanda for some snacks and then would return with your arms full, making Wanda laugh.

Or maybe you would fall asleep because the show not more entertains you, and she would look at you with devotion and adoration.

Some nights you would stay there, Wanda always let you stay, she would hug you, let her head rest on your chest and sleep with you, the next morning you would jolt awake and shower thousands of apologies to Wanda, she just would laugh and say that it was okay.

Some nights you would wake up in the middle of the night, super embarrassed, apologizing and leave, saying that it won’t happen again.

Wanda despised that kind of nights.

She loved your company.

Vision entered her room once again, always forgetting about privacy.

He would do this every day, bringing her some food, and she would eat half of it, just for respect.

Wanda’s head shot up, watching Vision approach to the bed.

“What do you want, Vision?”

Wanda asked dryly, her accent became evident these past weeks, it seems that it tended to appear when she was annoyed.

“I excuse myself for the bargain, Wanda, but I kindly remind you to ingest the nutrients your body needs.”

He replied while gesturing towards the plate he left that afternoon, deep in him, he was hoping that Wanda at least, ate, because her lack of resting and lack of self-care was clearly evident.

She scoffed and returned to her curled-up position.

Vision sighed, this needed to change.

She was not fine.

“Wanda.”

His voice was stern now.

No response.

He put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently.

“You need to eat something, if you continue like this, you will pass out.”

Still no response.

“The Avengers, including myself, are doing everything in their limits to find (Y/n)”

He trailed off a bit in the end.

Wanda turned her head to look at him.

“She will appear, I can sense it.”

Now her whole body was facing him.

“I think she would like to find you doing well.”

He dedicated Wanda a slight smile, she replied with another.

“Thank you, Vision.”

He just nodded and left the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two weeks passed after that.

Wanda recovered some color on her face, her lips were plump again, and her eyes were refreshed, she would give a small smile if she encountered someone on her way to the kitchen or returning to your bedroom.

When she opened the door, she squealed when she found Vision inside but smiled afterwards.

“Vis, what are you doing here?”

He was in the middle of the room, looking outside through the gigantic window.

He glanced over his shoulder but didn’t move.

Wanda, slightly confused, approached him.

“Are you okay?”

She grabbed his shoulder, slowly turning him to her.

She locked her eyes onto his.

But they weren’t Vision’s eyes.

They were (y/e/c).

“Wanda...”

Vision talked, but that wasn’t only his voice, there were hints of yours too.

“(Y/n)?”

She smiled hopefully and cupped Vision’s face.

“You look stunningly delicious, Wanda.”

Vision smiled fondly like he was feeling your excitement.

The compliment was a joke between you and her, she was trying to learn english compliments and asked if the Froot Loops could be described as “stunningly delicious” .

She laughed a bit and looked into your eyes.

It was you but how?

“How have you been? Have you lost weight?”

The Vision-controlled-by-you asked pressing her cheeks together, her face now looked like a Blowfish.

The body quickly retracted his hands and took a step backward.

His eyes turned blue again.

“I’m sorry, Wanda, I hope that didn’t bother you.”

That was Vision, embarrassed of grabbing Wanda´s face like that, even if that was you.

You apologized mentally to him, he said that it was fine.

Wanda laughed a bit, she realized that you two were talking mentally as he had his eyes closed but they were moving furiously.

“How are you doing all this?”

She approached Vision again, he opened his eyes and they were yours.

“It’s a long story, but we are somehow connected.”

You smiled a little while remembering something.

You sighed and looked at her again.

“I just wanted to see you, to check if you were doing fine, Wanda.”

Her eyes started watering, and she shivered a bit.

Oh how much she missed you, how much she missed your face.

“Where are you right now, (y/n)?”

She simply asked and that took you by surprise.

You gulped and tried to take Vision back, but she grabbed your shoulder to keep you in place and grasped your chin so you couldn’t avoid her gaze.

“Where are you!?”

Her voice broke, she was crying.

Your eyes closed shut, you were concerned for her, you wished, no, you dreamed of being there, replacing Vision.

“I’m sorry, Wanda.”

You cupped her face and hugged her tightly so she won’t move.

“I really am.”

She shoved Vision backward so she could look at your eyes.

“Wait! (Y/n)!”

She shook Vision when she saw how (y/e/c) were fading to give access to Vision´s ones again.

“Don’t go...”

Wanda trailed off when he saw the pitiful look on his eyes, she started sobbing loudly.

“I apologize, Wanda.”

He hugged her, but not like you.

Nobody could hug like you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They stayed in the room after that, it was quiet, Vision was sitting beside Wanda the entire time, she stopped crying after some time; when it got too late, he left the room and quickly returned with some food.

“How...”

Wanda mumbled as Vision was setting a little table in front of her.

“How is she connected with you?”

Wanda asked nervously, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear and scratching her arm.

Vision nodded and sat again, giving Wanda a glass of water and observing her.

She took the hint and began to eat.

After a few seconds, he started talking.

“I don’t have a proper explanation of it.”

Vision said frowning.

“One day, (y/n) just approached me, she touched the stone...”

He motioned his hand hanging over the stone a little.

“And suddenly, I could feel not just me, but her too.”

He looked at his hands.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And it was true.

When you arrived at the tower, Vision was a really interesting being for you.

You quickly befriended everyone, even him; he would ask about some human things, and you would gladly tell him everything you knew about it, still amazed at the fact that he could think properly and feel too.

One day, the curiosity took the best of you, and you asked if you could touch the stone, slightly embarrassed, you didn’t know how Vision could feel about it.

He smiled at you and nodded, bending a little so you could reach his forehead.

You thanked him and softly pressed your digits into the rock.

Click.

Everything made sense, his existence, how his body worked, how he could feel things, you now could see how he was conformed, you watched his energy flowing in his body.

He was a sophisticated invention, and when you looked at his eyes, the stone glowed.

Your eyes flashed.

Vision could see your brain working, your veins pumping and your nerves functioning, you were something more than a simple human, yet you were made in blood and flesh.

He could feel you and you felt him.

You two shared a smile.

He was a good artificial friend, and you were the closest he has been to a human.

When you got hurt in the battle, he left the Avenger’s tower, even if told he had to stay and not intervene, and when he found you, lying unconscious on the ground, he carried you to the lab immediately.

He felt how you were physically hurt, while you were screaming to the others from pain in the lab, crying.

He felt.

He had felt you thinking loudly while you escaped.

Then he felt how you were hiding from the avengers.

No.

You were hiding from Wanda.

He could feel...

Your sadness.

So he contacted you, through a mind bond you both had, at first that scared the shit out of you, but quickly was replaced by relief.

He was... happy to be talking to you, you two agreed that he would check on you, but he wouldn’t say anything.

In his visits, he told you about everyone, you felt horrible, and when he told you about Wanda’s breakdown, you made him promise that he would take care of her.

And he gladly did.

Because this was not an order, like the ones that Stark gave to him.

This was something that you asked.

And while you were asking, he felt your sorrow.

So when he returned another week and told you that Wanda was doing better because he raised her hopes about seeing you again, you had to do something.

You couldn’t appear, no.

His stone was enlightened again.

And you understood that this connection was deeper than you initially thought.

When you looked at him, he nodded, and you hugged him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wanda stopped chewing and gazed at him, in disbelief.

He sighed.

“Wanda... is there any possibility that I could see inside your mind?”

She gave him a confused glare, frowning, and shook her head.

“It’s just... I feel like...”

His stone gleamed for a second.

Wanda’s eyes shot up and she approached him, she slightly raised her hand, and Vision stiffened.

That was not what he wanted, and Wanda caught up.

She closed her eyes and let her hands rest on her legs.

Vision nodded and softly pressed his hand into her temple.

Now, he no only felt how you were observing, but now, you were feeling Wanda too.

She felt painfully broken, flooding with anguish and melancholy, she felt like someone tore apart half of her soul.

You felt her.

And now you were crying disconsolately.

Vision quickly drawled his hand back, he had his eyes closed and a pained look on his face.

Wanda blinked a few times and give a concerned look at him.

“Vis, what happened?”

Vision opened his eyes.

A tear ran down his cheek.

“I know where is (y/n).”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were gathered in a corner of the room you were living in, crying, you couldn’t stop your tears anymore.

You missed Wanda, you missed her laugh, her voice, her eyes, her warmth.

You missed the moments you spent with her.

I should have told her...

You heard someone bursting into the living room.

Vision?

You didn’t have the forces to confront him right now.

“(Y/n)!?”

You froze.

It wasn’t Vision.

It was Wanda.

“(Y/n)!? Where are you!?”

She screamed with hope in a faint voice.

Everything was dark, Wanda quickly lighted the only bulb that was in the room.

“(Y/n)! Please!”

She cried out, her heart pumping hard in her chest, her face tear-stained was desperate looking around.

And from all the darkness, you appeared.

Wanda went through thousand of emotions when she saw you.

You were different.

Skinny, almost in your bones, your body slightly curved, like you were using just a foot to put your whole weight, one of your arms was bruised; the other one holding a cane.

You stepped more into the light, and she took in your face.

Your lips were dry, you had a big cut in the bottom one, half of your right ear was missing.

And the whole part of your eyes was bandaged.

You were wondering if your mind tricked you, there was no sign of someone in there.

Until you felt an arm wrapping you tightly.

You dropped your cane and hold onto the figure.

Wanda started sobbing into your shoulder, she had one of her arms grabbing you strongly by your back and the other one was grasping your shoulders, trying to feel you as most as she could.

“I thought that I had lost you.”

She continued to cry until she had little hiccups.

You were crying too, your bandages were damped at this point.

“I’m sorry...”

You replied breathlessly.

She left the embrace, but she continued to hold you, her hands were now at your waist.

“I won’t leave again.”

You nodded slowly, trying to reassure her that it was a promise.

She observed you and reached the bandages to tug them off, but you quickly grabbed her hand, stopping her.

“Wait, Wanda.”

You called quickly, your heartbeat raised, and your breaths became shorter.

“You don’t have to.”

You were anxious, repeatedly trying to put her hand down.

She cupped your face with her other hand and caressed your cheek with her thumb.

“I want to, (Y/n)”

For a moment, you dug your nails into her wrist but you quickly surrendered.

It was Wanda after all.

As soon as you nodded, she retrieved her hands and used her magic to undo the bandages.

It all happened slowly, she carefully took every layer, hesitating a little, because every layer she took off made you stiffen more.

At the final layer, she used her hands, she grabbed gently the last strand, removed it, and let it fall into the ground.

She gasped and her eyes softened.

The superior part of your face was the most affected.

The whole upper area was in a dark crimson pinkish color, burned, and in living flesh.

It covered all of it, and it reached from ear to ear.

It seemed like it was healing slowly, but the worst part was your eyes.

They were covered mostly in a milky white layer, leaving a quarter of your (e/c) at sight, swollen and sticky, tears staining your eyelids.

Now they were moving, desperately trying to seek something.

Wanda sensed your hesitation.

“I’m happy to see you.”

She smiled and leaned forward but stop inches enough so you were feeling her hot breath against your face.

“Does it hurts?”

You blinked a few times.

“No, it doesn’t.”

She brushed her nose with yours.

She read about it in a book, it was told that Eskimos couldn’t kiss because of the cold weather, so they brush their noses gently to show affection.

It was something that she liked, and you despised.

You crunched your nose and smiled.

She smiled too.

“Wanda, I have something to tell you.”

You took a step back, trying to make some room but you almost tripped so she caught you by your back.

You had one of your hands grabbing her coat and the other one her arm.

“And if I don’t say it know, It seems that probably I won’t have the chance to do it other time”

You chuckled quietly.

“ I...”

You sighed, she was giving you time to talk, you thanked that.

“I love you.”

She became ecstatic.

Your eyes stared forward, unsure, moving rapidly, waiting for an answer.

The room was silent.

You were trembling at this point.

She shook her head rapidly, coming back to reality, and when she realized that you couldn’t see her, she grabbed your hands and let you cup her face.

You eagerly touched her features, going from her forehead, tracing the corner of her eyes, caressing her cheekbones, and when you cupped her jaw, you could sense that she was smiling.

“What do you feel, (y/n)?”

A tear touched your hand and you carefully wiped it away.

“I just feel you.”

She kissed the palm of your hand.

“Good.”

She said softly and her eyes shot up red.

She was letting you into her mind.

Memories, feelings, and thoughts of her were being shown to you, so you shared yours too.

You saw how she would check on you while you were training, using a facade of “I like to see some moves to use later” knowing that she doesn’t use close combat, or how she would prepare foods that you liked in a thankful form for missing dinners when you preferred spending the night with her.

You saw how the high ranked members on meetings would make her feel less saying that she was dangerous, so it was safer to not use her in order to protect the civilians on there; but she would simply shrug it off because, in the afternoon, she would see you again.

You saw how she spent these weeks going to your bedroom and hugging your shirt, crying until she fell asleep.

You saw how she was shattered into million pieces and made her best to compose herself in the hope of seeing you again.

On her side, she saw how your eyes were fixated on her in Stark’s parties to see if she was having fun, and when you come to realize that she was getting a bit uncomfortable, you would smoothly distract anyone that was talking to her to give her some space, or how would you seek for her in every mission just to see if she was doing fine, even if you were the one that needed help.

She saw how you would have a terrible day and it all disappeared when you saw her.

She saw how you caught her while she was falling in the mission, and made sure that she was okay.

She saw how your body fell, twisted, and cracked, how the mine near you exploded.

How you screamed in agony, crying loudly and begging the others to not let her see you like this.

Because in every thought that you had.

She was present.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You abandoned each other’s mind, her magic burst in a blast in the room when you broke the connection.

“Wow.”

You both said in a whisper at the same time, with your foreheads pressed.

“(Y/n)?”

Her gaze was fixated on you while she was brushing her slender fingers through your long hair.

“Yes, Wanda?”

This time, your eyes were searching for something, it seemed like you were searching for her lips.

“Can I kiss you?”

Your eyes shot up and somehow they looked into Wanda’s

“You can.”

You closed her eyes and stood still, Wanda closed hers too and leaned, kissing you dearly, making you both melt into the kiss.

It felt good.

Like new stars forming in the universe, like a laugh of a newborn or the soft caress of a mother.

Her lips had a faint taste of salty tears mixed with her sugary strawberry lipstick.

Your lips felt softer than they seemed, they had a taste of chocolate syrup covered with a hint of mint.

You had been eating your favorite candy, Vision had brought a box of them without being asked.

It’s a gift, he said, smiling.

Your hand tried to reach her face so she took your hand, grabbing and squeezing it lovingly.

You were the one that broke the kiss, with your eyes still closed but you didn’t pull apart from her, her body was emanating the heat you missed and craved.

She didn’t try to move away neither, she was enjoying the moment.

“I love you too, (y/n).”

She murmured against your lips while you formed a smile.

She laughed, and took you into her arms, picking you up, and started swirling you around.

You chuckled and screamed startled at her to stop, she stopped and lifted you higher, with a smile on her face that quite reached her ears and observed you for a moment.

Your hair was falling in cascades on her face, it framed your features perfectly, your eyes were squinted because of your wide smile.

She lowered you a bit, so now you were hovering her face.

You instinctively inclined your head, searching for her face and she made it easier when she guided your lips to hers.

This one felt like shooting stars too.

Your heart was doing stunts in your chest, she hummed into the kiss and both of you sighed excitedly.

You let your hands rest on her shoulders and wrapped your legs around her torso, then she had her hands securing you by the waist.

She broke the kiss this time, your body was melting into her touch.

You let your chin rest on her shoulder and closed your eyes, letting go a deep breath.

This felt right.

Wanda nodded, and raised her hand to rub your back, she agreed.

This indeed felt right.

“I’m sorry.”

You said suddenly, swallowing a sob, the guilt tightened your chest.

“Don’t be.”

She was smiling sadly, she still couldn’t conceive the thought of never seeing you again.

“But I only caused problems, I made you feel miserable.”

You buried your head into her neck, your voice was quiet.

“I was sad because I remembered all the happy moments that you shared with me, I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you, but you are alive, (y/n).”

She was excited now.

“I have the chance to show you how much I love you.”

You giggled and kissed her neck, making her laugh too.

You backed a bit, forgetting that you couldn’t see her, but that didn’t bother you in the slightest, she was there, and you could feel her.

“Wanda?”

You asked knitting your brows.

“Yes, (y/n)?

She cupped your cheek, watching you with a goofy smile.

“Are we floating?”

You laughed a bit, you could somehow sense that you weren’t on the floor, but it became obvious when you let go of your legs from her waist and your feet just felt air.

And you were right.

Absently minded, Wanda started floating while sharing the kiss with you.

“Yes, we are.”

She was laughing sheepishly, she slowly started lowering you both, holding you tenderly, until she reached the ground and she helped you to stand.

You both had your hands intertwined.

“I’ll stay with you from now on.”

She stated, taking your expressions, you were thinking.

“First me disappearing, then you gone? The others will freak out.”

You chuckled at the thought, imagining the chaos that would lose Wanda’s disappearance.

She kissed both of your hands, and leave them to grab your temples and rest her head over yours.

“Vision knows where are we, if they need us, they can talk to him.”

You shook your head, smiling.

“Poor him.”

You could hear a soft voice in the back of your head.

I wouldn’t mind in the slightest.

“Oh and (Y/n)?”

Wanda asked, a smile could be heard in her voice.

“Yes?”

“You look stunningly delicious.”

She snorted and gently kissed your nose.

[capitainelevi]

72 & 115! (･ิω･ิ)

Thank you for your ask!! ❤️❤️

Drabble challenge: Followers send a number to your ask and you write a drabble using that sentence/prompt in your piece. "You’re competitive and so am I, and it’s going to lead to a fight." and “I let you win.”

Let her go

Petra and Levi attend a fundraising party together.

Slightly NSFW Canon universe.

Word count: 1592

Petra brushed her fingertips along the material of her dress, enjoying the silky feeling against her skin. It was not often that she got to wear such luxurious pieces, and while she never dreamed of being anything else than a soldier, getting to pretend she belonged with Mitras` high society was the highlight of her night. Lord Reiss` Winter Ball proved to be the perfect opportunity for the Survey Corps to secure donations from the inebriated nobles pretending to be concerned about the faith of humanity. And that year, the Commander had decided Petra had the highest chances of raising funds for their cause.

Petra looked at her reflection in the mirror once again, a part of her astonished how much of a difference a beautiful dress and makeup could make. With blue powder accentuating the amber of her eyes and rouge painted on her cheeks, Petra thought she resembled the women on the posters she found herself admiring each time work took her to the capital.

She was in the middle of retouching the red on her lips when a knock on her door pulled her out of her reveries. Despite the fact the Commander had made sure to put her in an inn on the good side of town for the night, she could never be too cautious. Her captain had taught her to be wary of humans just as much as she should be of titans. Petra picked up the knife Levi had given to her on the first day on the squad and made her way to the door. She sighed in relief at the familiar figure resting against the wood frame, and she hurried to put down her weapon.

Levi raised an eyebrow at the warm welcome, and Petra shrugged as red started to stain her cheeks.

“I`m sorry, Captain. I wasn`t expecting visitors.”

Levi muttered something under his breath and locked the door behind him. Once her fluttering heart calmed for a bit, Petra realized the oddity behind the sudden visit.

“Wait, Captain, why are you in Mitras?”

Levi frowned at her, expecting his subordinate to have figured it out by then already, but when the silence in the room became unpleasant for the both of them, he shed some light on the regard.

“I`m accompanying you to the party.”

Petra closed her eyes to gather her thoughts as her heart threatened to burst out of her chest. She would have never dreamed of accompanying her captain to a party, let alone to act as his date for it. She was certain the shade of red painted on her cheeks challenged the red of the dress she chose for the event. Petra could not help the smile growing on her lips as she allowed herself a slight indulgence- “Are you my date, then?”

Levi`s eyes widened for a moment as if he had not realized the situation himself beforehand, and he chose to nod as an answer. Spending the evening with his favorite subordinate was far from being unpleasant.

“Was it your idea or the Commander`s, sir?”

“Don`t be a brat, Petra.”

Petra laughed at his crass behavior, one that she came to be fond of as she spent years by his side. Her captain was rude, short-tempered, and often awkward, but she would never change anything about him.

“Help me button up my dress?”

Petra turned her back to him, and Levi made his way to her slowly, as if he was afraid by the proximity. The floral scent emanating from her skin invaded his nostrils, and he closed his eyes to savor it. Despite being fond of her usual soap scent, he was enjoying the variety. Levi let his eyes wander, admiring how the dress she had chosen for the even hugged her forms. When his fingertips made contact with the soft skin of her back, Levi could feel her slight tremble under his hands.

“Why choose a dress you can`t put on yourself? That`s stupid, Ral.”

Petra turned her head to look him in the eyes, and the sudden closeness to his face stunned her. Levi barely acknowledged her, too enrapt in the task at hand, and she couldn`t help but smile at the slight frown of concentration forming on his face- “Maybe I had a feeling you would be here to help me, Captain.”

Petra and Levi had been partners in this dance since he chose her for his squad, yet it never went beyond that. Not more than a tease or a light touch, much to her frustration. Just when she thought she got past his walls, Levi retreated, and she found more put up in their spot. On some nights, Petra swore she hated him just as much as she loved him. But she was determined to get to the real Levi, even if it took her the remaining years of her life to do so.

Levi finished working on the last button of her dress as he accentuated- “Levi.”

Levi did not care much for formalities, often asking Petra to drop his title every time they were sharing a cup of tea in the middle of the night. He enjoyed the slight blush adorning her cheeks every time his name found its way to her lips.

Petra did a twirl for her captain- “So how do I look, Levi?”

Levi did not give a second thought before answering her, and he was pleased with the sparkle in Petra`s eyes as she heard it- “Beautiful.”

Petra pointed at the door- “Shall we, then?”

Levi hated parties more than he hated a mess. Well, almost as much. He could still recall the 868 Kitchen Tragedy when his squad tried to follow Oluo`s recipe for making tomato juice. He trembled at the recollection, getting the attention of the subordinate holding his arm. Maybe with Petra by his side, he could enjoy himself. They made their way to the buffet, and Levi ignored the hungry looks the woman by his side was drawing their way. While his subordinate was usually talkative enough to fill the silence for the both of them, she had barely addressed two words to him since they arrived at the party.

“What is going on inside that pretty head of yours?”

Yet his question required no answer from her, as one glimpse at the smirk appearing on her face was more than enough for him to know. Levi shook his head no, winning a pout from her.

“You’re competitive, and so am I, and it’s going to lead to a fight.”

Petra sensed that she might be crossing the line, but she figured Levi wouldn`t mind. And even though they were still on duty, they could still enjoy themselves a little.

“I didn`t know you were scared of losing to me, Levi.”

Levi downed his glass and nodded at her to keep going. He could imagine Erwin`s disapproving stare at their childish behavior or the squad`s anxiousness at them engaging in yet another “innocent” game, which usually ended in Levi cussing and Petra crying and yelling at the unfairness of her loss.

“Whoever gets the most donations wins a can of good quality tea leaves.”

Levi`s eyes sparkled at the thought of a good cup of tea, and he shook Petra`s hand without giving it a second thought.

Four hours later, Levi had trouble in getting his subordinate to be quiet as they made their way on the hallways of the inn. Petra was too high on her victory against her captain to care about waking up some strangers. Petra plopped down on her bed, satisfied at the ending of her night. She could feel Levi getting on his knees, but a chill ran through her when she felt his fingertips on her skin. She watched with a smirk on her lips as Levi worked on taking off her sandals.

“I let you win.”

Petra laughed at the absurdity, knowing Levi would never waste the chance to drink a good cup of tea. She could feel his hand caressing her leg, and she tried to ignore the heat spreading through her at the contact.

“I`m too cute. They didn`t stand a chance.”

When Levi got close enough to her lips so that she could feel his soft breath on them, Petra gulped, aware of the lump forming in her throat. He murmured against them- you are, as he captured her mouth in a hungry, messy kiss. When Petra moaned, he slipped his tongue in her mouth as their tongues clashed, fighting for dominance. All her shame was lost to pleasure as she tangled her fingers through his hair, pulling his mouth closer to her to devour him. Petra nipped at his lip before slipping her tongue in his mouth as Levi pushed her on the mattress. Petra whimpered at the feel of his erection against her thigh as she slipped one of her hands under his dress pants.

“Petra, stop.”

The faces of all the comrades he made promises to on their dying moments flashed in front of his eyes. The promise he made to Erwin all those years ago was booming in his ears. He could not afford to be selfish. His mission, his purpose, was more important than any desire he had. And that included a life with Petra by his side.

And with I love you on the tip of his tongue, Levi whispered- “I`m sorry, I can`t do this.”

Levi stormed out of the room, not taking another glimpse at the woman waiting for him.

ao3

[andromeda612]

Renga Fantasy AU

I've seen lost of fantasy Au's with Langa being the prince and Reki either the cute gardener, the adorable captain of the army, or any other common role that will be the prince's love interest... but what about Prince Reki?

I can see it like this:

Joe is the head of the cook and Reki's paternal figure number #1.

Cherry is the first advisor of the royal family and Reki's paternal figure #2.

Shadow is a guard and probably Reki's main bodyguard, he acts like he is annoyed by Reki's too energic and loud personality but in reality he is a big softie and has a weakness for the young and gentle prince, he is Reki's older sibling figure.

Miya is the son of a noble family, probably training for either being court sorcerer or knight, he is Reki's closest friend despite being younger, he sees Reki as his old brother and is very protective of him because in his opinion (and in everybody else's opinion for that matter) the redhead is too nice for his own good and someone needs to take care of him for god's sake! Of course he will deny it for ever and still be the tsundere he is.

Langa can be the son of a merchant and a doctor from another kingdom, after his dad dies his mother decides to go back to her home in the Kyan's kingdom (Okinawa), because of her reputation as a good doctor she gets a job in the palace as court physician. Langa stays with her at the palace and he could be either training for knight, physician or maybe sorcerer too but he hasn't decided yet, or even training for advisor under Cherry's wing. For the time being he just study with Reki.

Now in this au's Prince Langa main trouble is he feeling lonely or incomplete, Reki being the sun he is complement him and his trouble is of course his self confidence, I want to keep it that way even if Reki is the prince now.

So Langa feel not sad anymore but definitely off since his dad died, he used to love traveling with him, try new things, he loved the most all the things he could learn from the items he got to sell, he wanted to be a merchant like him but now he is not sure anymore, that's why that for now he is just studying along with the prince as he decides what he want to do with his life, he is not unhappy but he can't help but feel there is something missing, that's it until he meets the ray of sunshine that is Prince Reki, the royal is gentle and unlike other royal member he has met (due both if his parents jobs) he doesn't treat the rest with superiority, he traits everyone the same, with kindness, a warm and genuine smile, he actually doesn't act like how he was taught princes are supposed to act, he is loud and very energetic, he is polite and all, but he doesn't emanate an aura of someone to be afraid off or someone you feel intimidate with, he makes you feel like you are with a friend, he will talk and talk enthusiastically to no end... unless you show him you were bored, which was not rare to happen, with the prince being too kind and easygoing is was easy for others to forget he was the prince. But Langa could hear him for hours and never get bored, Reki showed him the palace and different places of the kingdom, he show him his drawings, all his crafts, the prince was incredible with smithy, he designed most of the best warriors' armors, as well as some of the innovative artifacts that helped so much in the kingdom, he showed him his passion for his realm and his passion for his hobbies, he was amazing... it's such a shame the prince is not capable to see it himself.

Reki for his part, he is the genius, creative sunshine we know. He is energetic and almost all the people loves him. Almost, because there is still the royal and nobles assholes that think he won't be a proper ruler because of his personality. As well as the people that get fed up with his energy. Those all are the people less liked in the kingdom. Though is really a trouble that the royal ones hold such power, because they really chose violence when it comes to Reki's self confidence. Especially because the most deep root for his insecurities comes from no other than his passed away father.

The king was... not a good man, the kingdom was not in ruins but the people were not happy, his family was not either, he would lash out to his wife and daughters, telling them they were good just to show of, to serve him, he was abusive with this staff on the palace and to his people, but who got the worst treatment was the young prince, since a child Reki was unquiet, loud, energic, totally the opposite to a centered, reserved and serious prince, he was also too kind with everyone no matter how much he told him he was above all the people, but Reki refused to be rude or mean to anyone, the only people that he lashed out to were the rude and cruel royals that abused of their power and were mean to people with no status or power. The king ruled with an iron fist and with stronger severity he tried to rise his heir, but Reki's golden heart was always stronger, however it didn't protected him from the abuse, the hard punishments and the constant reminders of how a failure he was, how he was worthless, how he was a mistake, how easy it would be for him to replace him if not were for the fact he needed a boy of royal blood to be his heir and he had no one, how annoying he was, that there was something wrong with him. And all the people that thought the same as his father had no seconds thoughts to remind him of the same in every. Single. Opportunity.

It was such a relief when the king died from a mysterious illness, and if anyone ever thought about it as a coup from the queen and the royal staff? Well nobody blamed them, but that was just a rumor and they were fine without him anyways.

Indeed, after the king's death the Kingdome went through a prosperity that haven't been seen in years. Despite what the king and his lackyes believed the Queen was actually a very well skilled ruler, she fixed the mess her former husband made and bring a new era to her people, she made new allies, she cleaned the corrupted government and brought new opportunities to the kingdom of Okinawa, the people were happy again. And her son, his ideas for artifacts to make certain tasks easier, his enthusiasm about cultural development, not mention that despite what his father said Reki was really smart, a total pride for his tutors even if his chaotic nature gave them green hairs, also his ideas to improve the army of the Kingdome, his ideas helped a lot to their realm's development. Many people called him the inventor prince.

However there were some royal asses that were not happy with him, there were invertors for that, there were artists, musicians, artisans for the cultural things, a prince shouldn't be look being so friendly and informal to commoners, shouldn't be so loud and idiot.

Not to mention the people that just... were fed up with his chit chat, and okay, they get it, Reki's personality could be overwhelming and even obnoxious to some people, but they needed to be so rude about it? The fact that must of this people were royal visitors didn´t help at all, Reki just felt he was embarrassing his mother and the Kingdome, no matter how many time she and the royal advisor Kaoru told him otherwise, or the fact that those people were usually not good allies at all.

Years of abuse and constantly hearing how a waste you were are hard to heal.

But, the love and support of the people that truly loved him helped Reki a lot, it was a long path but he was getting there. Though, the person that were really close to him, and you know who these persons are, know that sometimes the thoughts gets too loud on Reki's head, but they are there for him, and are happy to see that everyday the sunshine prince is doing better and better.

Well, and then of course the boys met and all of that, they help each other to find what was missing, to discover how much loved and worth they are.

The Queen and the court physician ship them, because this is my fucking au and I say love is love, you are who you are, no labels :)

Kaoru, Kojiro, Miya and Hiromi are definitely fondly exasperate with their mutual pining and just want them to just kiss already and spare their poor souls out of their misery.

About Ad*m... I don't know yet honestly.

In one hand I'm so tempted to make him not existing in this au. On the other hand he could be a major villain, maybe a lord wanting to make coup to the kingdome with Tadashi being a spy loyal to Queen Kyan. And I really want Langa to beat the shit out if him for messing up with his sun, but well, idk.

Any thoughts about this? Feel free to ask! 👀

[hatari-translations]

Matthías on ‘Men and Responsibility in the Time of #MeToo’

This is a podcast episdode featuring a panel discussion with Matthías in it, titled "Men and Responsibility in the Time of #MeToo". It's quite long, so I'm just going to translate Matthías's comments and what they're in response to.

It's prompted by the 'second wave of #MeToo' going on in Iceland right now, thanks to an unpleasant chain of events involving a prominent podcast host getting a lot of sympathy for supposedly false accusations of sexual violence against him only for two women to then step forward to press charges against him. There's been a lot of emerging discussion in the wake of it, especially about people sympathizing with and believing perpetrators over survivors. Obvious content warning for discussion of sexual assault below.

First, the host asks about men looking inward to reflect on their own past behaviour during this time, and whether they and their friends have been doing so, directing the question first toward Matthías. He responds:

MATTHÍAS: I think so, yeah. I think it's natural and good in this moment to reflect on the past a bit, and perhaps redefine or rediscover, or even - I'm having a hard time even getting words around this. I haven't really expressed myself in this discussion, but yeah, I think I did look back and try to think about boundaries, and I think many people around me are doing that, who have a conscience and want to do right. We're experiencing a kind of - my generation is sometimes called the porn generation - maybe we're kind of discovering a skewed way of thinking that we've grown up with regarding boundaries. So perhaps it's healthy to look back and try to figure out whether you've ever violated a boundary with your ex, or whatever.

And then there's a different matter, discussed in Kastljós yesterday, how if you conclude that you have done so, or your friend has done so, how you go about taking responsibility for that, and I thought that [the Kastljós discussion] was good. I'd really like some kind of education in how to discuss that with friends, what that conversation should look like. If your friend is either accused of something, or determines for himself that he didn't respect his girlfriend's boundaries, or something, in the past - how do you talk to him? I liked hearing yesterday, how did they phrase it, that you should ask permission before apologizing. Not just show up expecting them to sign something absolving you of sin - the conversation should be on the survivor's terms. I don't know. As you said, it's first steps - this is the first time I, at least, express something of worth publicly, or at least I hope it's of worth, I don't know. But it's a really new discussion, and I feel very immature in it, like I don't really have the tools to talk about it. I've just been listening and trying to learn and realize what so incredibly many women around us have been going through, and I feel a certain sense of powerlessness to even talk about it. So thanks for pushing us to get into it.

After a while, Árni Matthíasson mentions the first step is to realize that men grow up learning a lot of toxicity and you have to realize that you're in that position; Matthías adds, "And that you're immensely privileged."

Later, they're talking about how men often don't have the courage to speak up against sexism and toxicity in other men, and how there's a kind of codependency in letting it slide. Matthías adds, "I think all guys can relate to that, from elementary school onwards." They talk about "perpetrator codependency" (gerandameðvirkni), the phenomenon of sympathizing with and failing to object to the perpetrators. Matthías suggests that could be applied to locker room talk too (something that'd come up earlier), "sexist codependency": you don't think of yourself as a sexist but you still go along with these situations.

MATTHÍAS: And speaking of having the tools to talk about it [the others had agreed with his mention of this], I would really like to be better at just being able to nicely and naturally in the situation, but still firmly, explain that I don't think disrespect towards women is okay, whether it's joking or not, without just getting the perpetrator, the sexist, to go on the defensive. To learn to just draw that line in the sand of Hey, you're not funny. It's something we need to practice, I think, as men.

In response to Árni talking about believing survivors on principle and refusing to be neutral, Matthías responds:

MATTHÍAS: You talked about the neutral way, and you were asking if it's hard for men to step up. Up until now, I've had the privilege of not technically needing to take a stance. That's a privilege that men have. I had no idea who Sölvi Tryggva [the podcast host whose case started all this] was before this, I don't watch podcasts, and kind of had the benefit of none of it having to affect me. It wasn't until I started talking to female friends, and women around me, that I realized how much it provokes, and this thing of being triggered. I think guys maybe don't properly know what it means. It has a huge amount of impact on survivors to see that perpetrator codependency, and so much else these days.

GARÐAR GUNNLAUGSSON: If guys look inward a bit, they can see there are women in their lives, everywhere, who've been through something, and often something really awful.

ÁRNI MATTHÍASSON: As they say, it's not all men, but it's nearly all women.

GARÐAR: Yeah.

MATTHÍAS: Exactly.

The host plays a clip of a researcher studying intimate partner violence, talking about 'monsterization', how people imagine perpetrators are these scary inhuman monsters determined to do evil, and this makes it harder for perpetrators to face and own up to what they've done, which is exactly what survivors often most wish for - for the perpetrator to take responsibility for their actions. The host talks about how this also makes it harder for people to believe that their friends have done something unsavoury - you know your friend's not a monster so they can't have done this. Árni talks a bit about how most sexual violence is perpetrated by intimate partners, not some masked stranger.

MATTHÍAS: I remember when I first heard that. I don't think I properly understood it. If it's not some criminal in an alley, then who? I was probably just a teenager when I heard it, that no, it's usually someone close to you that rapes you. I couldn't quite even think that thought through.

GARÐAR: That it could be someone in your intimate circle.

MATTHÍAS: Yeah. Just, anyone you meet.

There's talk about the notion of ruining people's reputations.

MATTHÍAS: Yeah, that thing of valuing reputation so incredibly highly. We could value the experiences of survivors more highly, compared to that. I think it's a really good question - we're taking baby steps with this, but perhaps one thing that's easy to make judgements about is, say some acquaintance is accused of violence, and you don't have the context to judge it, but you still want to stand with survivors, but your friend's also not a monster - whether he's guilty or innocent, he can always show humility and willingness to listen and look inward. That's something I think both the monsters and the good kids should consider. I don't know, when you see someone accused of something and there's no humility towards the accusers' experiences, just defensiveness, or no looking inward to say, 'I think I'm innocent but what about my behaviour has made this person feel differently' - that's a reason to ask yourself big questions. Humility, listening, looking inward, for ourselves and our friends. I think that's one of the keys.

Garðar points out that if you just cut off a friend who's perpetrated violence, he's still there - the violence is still happening until it's actually addressed. You have to have the courage to intervene and try to get him to change, to show that you won't tolerate it, and Matthías agrees with that and says it's something he wishes he were better at, and that all men were.

The host muses on why sex in particular is such a quagmire for violation of boundaries. Árni emphasizes that rape and sexual assault are not sex but violence, and Matthías says "Yes, very good point." The host elaborates, talking about how a lot of the dating culture involves intoxication and so on, and sometimes people just don't get what their partner wants or doesn't want in that situation.

MATTHÍAS: Maybe guys are just very bad at putting themselves in women's shoes, or listening to them. I think if you thought of something that happened at the club yesterday and properly try to put yourself in the girl's shoes, it's simpler than you'd think to work out in your head whether she liked it, whether she thought it was funny or enjoyable when I said this or touched her there. At least part of the problem might be that guys just keep going, trusting that they'll be celebrated whatever they - it's just privilege. And the disconnect happens there. And it's just an exercise in, what I was saying earlier, humility and listening and looking inward.

ÁRNI: Like we're always Mr. Wonderful.

MATTHÍAS: Yeah. Like we're always Mr. Wonderful, and then when Mr. Wonderful hears somebody didn't enjoy what he was doing yesterday, or that he violated a boundary, or even committed violence, that really knocks down some of Mr. Wonderful's worldview. I don't know, that might be part of it. Maybe it's not that complicated, we're just bad at putting ourselves in others' shoes.

GARÐAR: Or we're just idiots.

MATTHÍAS: Yeah, maybe that's what it is. Well, I mean, often when you hear stuff like 'Oh, nothing's allowed anymore', that classic sentence, it's this sort of cognitive distortion from a guy who thinks he's wonderful and everything he says is smart or funny. And if that guy really tries to think, 'Hmm, does this girl think what I'm saying is cool or fun? Is this fun flirting or is this girl just waiting for the conversation to be over so she can leave, because she feels uncomfortable?' I don't think it's that hard, if you sincerely try to understand how the other person feels. Then, of course, there are probably other variables to it.

[feminaexlux]

All That Matters  (Pt 2: They’re Multiplyin’ and I’m Losing Control)

Part 2 of All That Matters. Part 1 here

Find this on AO3 here!

⁂

Ladybug convinced a newly transformed Dragon Noir to use Water form and launch himself into the sky. He'd be able to get a look at what was happening from a bird's eye view and find Queen Wasp and the other Miraculous holders. Dragon Noir was hovering above Paris in a large water bubble at the peak of his arc when he contacted her. "Hey 'Bug, she's at the Trocadero, and… you're right," Dragon Noir sighed. "She's got the other heroes all brainwashed and suited up. Except Ka--uh, the fencer girl is just… standing there."

"Is she okay? M-Master Fu isn't with them, is he?" Ladybug asked nervously.

"I think she's fine, just… non-responsive. I don't see him. Am I supposed to see him?" Dragon Noir asked, concerned.

"No! No." Ladybug breathed out a sigh of relief. "Just… just that Queen Wasp doesn't have access to all of the Miraculous then," Ladybug said. Okay. Master Fu was still safe, to a degree. Even though he wasn't really the Guardian anymore.

"Master Fu" was, in fact, not even a real person anymore.

There had been one too many close calls with Master Fu being nearly discovered by Mayura and Hawkmoth, and with Marinette being as hyper-competent as she was, Fu made the decision to retire earlier in the late summer. After all, the Order had been restored and he was no longer the last of his kind. Marinette had proven herself worthy of Guardianship time and time again. He was just too old, too weak, too slow to react and adapt.

Fu had handed over the Miracle Box to Ladybug at the end of summer. His penultimate act as Guardian was to tell her who King Monkey was after handing out the Monkey Miraculous to Kim. Ladybug became the new Guardian of the Miraculous in secret, and the person that was "Master Fu, Guardian of the Miraculous" was no more after he lost all of his memories.

There was one final "gift" that Master Fu had left Ladybug before his memories were erased. Fu had given her his blessing to use him as a decoy. Better to have Hawkmoth track down and find a dead end in a broken old man than wreak more havoc with more Miraculous under his command.

The knowledge of whoever Chat Noir was underneath the mask got lost along with Fu's memories. But that was fine to Ladybug. Chat Noir was simply her partner, and that was enough.

Though losing Master Fu as her mentor and confidante had been such a huge blow to Marinette. She had spent a week crying in secret until Luka had surprised her one day, visiting her in her room. "Thought I'd join you here if that's alright," Luka had said, and Marinette let him stay with her. He'd just smiled and held out his hands to her. He hadn't even asked what was wrong. He was just present, letting her cry in his arms until she couldn't anymore. "If there's anything I can do to help, let me know."

It had been a good long time until she was able to speak again. "You're already helping me," Marinette had said quietly, pressing herself into the hug. "This is all that I need."

Ladybug shook her head to get back to the present. She stuck her head out of the water and took a quick scan of her surroundings, making sure she wasn't spotted by anything. She got out of the river, drying out the Lucky Charm scarf as best she could. "Tikki, Mullo, Unify!" This was another Big Secret Marinette kept to herself: that she'd been keeping Mullo's Miraculous on her. It had changed a bit recently, now representing itself as a necklace with a pendant shaped like a guitar pick that she hid under her shirt. Marinette was paranoid enough that she couldn't let anyone see her wear the necklace. Multimouse had detransformed in front of Chat Noir, after all.

Sometimes she transformed into Multimouse without any akumas to deal with - breaking her own rule of not using the Miraculous for personal reasons - to be as small as she felt sometimes and hide away from the world. She and Tikki had a lot of heart to heart conversations tucked into a hatbox in one corner of her room.

This time, she was using it to just be stealthy. She used Multitude to split into several smaller versions of herself, fanning across a large area and running down different streets and alleyways toward the Trocadero.

"She's calling herself Miracle Queen," Dragon Noir mused. "The… the others are surrounding her to defend her. I'd say we're in quite a pickle, my Lady."

Multibug didn't stop running. "How do you feel about trying to draw the honor guard away?" one of her asked.

Dragon Noir snorted. "On it. Easy as pie." Over the comms Ladybug heard her partner shout "Hey there demons, it's me, ya boi Chat Noir! I'm standing right here. You brain-dead zombies want my miraculous? Come and get it!"

…

Okay…

One of the Multibugs pulled out her yoyo and took a look at the screen. Dragon Noir's spot on her map kept jumping around, pulling the group of the other heroes away as they all chased after him. Pegasus was using Voyage to keep trying to intercept but Dragon Noir bounced off in a different direction as fast as lightning. She had to give props to Chat, he sure knew how to play that cat-and-mouse game well.

But Dragon Noir wouldn't be able to keep this up forever if Viperion was working against them. She needed to take down Viperion and this Miracle Queen, and she needed to do that as soon as possible. She kept moving forward, scurrying across as fast as she could to get to cover or hide behind or underneath things, trying to close in and surround Miracle Queen from as many angles as she could get at the Trocadero.

One of her got close, so close. Miracle Queen was standing in front of a line of golden statues, and a Multibug was hiding behind one of the statue plinths when she got grabbed from behind. "Aahhh!" she squeaked out loud.

"Not ssso fassst, little moussse," Viperion said as he turned her toward his face, stressing his s's in what was probably a mockery of Sass. "You'll never get the drop on me, can't you see?" He turned toward Miracle Queen and bowed to her with Multibug firm in his grip. "I've found a pest, My Queen."

Multibug held back another squeak. "Lu--Viperion! Viperion, don't do this, don't listen to her! Don't let her control you!" She had been so sure that Dragon Noir had led them all away, how did Viperion surprise her?! She realized he must have used Second Chance and timed it so he knew just when to turn back and stop her. The other heroes must have coordinated to trick Dragon Noir!

Miracle Queen turned her head lazily, examining her nails with a sour look after giving a quick glance at Viperion presenting her the Multibug in his left hand. "Ridiculous, utterly ridiculous. A rat? That's the best you could do, Ladybug?" Miracle Queen leaned in and looked closer at Multibug. "Hmm. Although you do have your Miraculous, but they're so tiny. I don't know how much more useless you could possibly be, but…" A wasp manifested above the Queen's hand, hovering and ready to strike.

There was a lightning fast zzzip and a yoyo snatched up the wasp from right in front of Miracle Queen before she realized what happened. Miracle Queen cried out, looking up only to have a pair of Multibugs drop down from above and wrap the scarf tight around her face, blocking her vision entirely. "What the-- Aaaah!" Miracle Queen screamed as she stumbled backward.

Viperion started reaching for his bracelet but the Multibug in his hand reached out as fast as she could and held back the serpent's head to prevent the reset. The two Multibugs that dropped merged together, and another larger Multibug emerged from the shadows. The 2 larger Multibugs lassoed Viperion's left and right wrists with their jump ropes and pulled away from each other, forcing Viperion's arms apart. They coordinated and pulled their ropes backward, unbalancing Viperion and dragging him off his feet to slam his back up against a statue plinth, knocking the breath out of him. This allowed the Multibug in his hand to wriggle free and pull off his bracelet as he struggled against his bindings.

Miracle Queen pulled off the scarf and threw it on the ground just as a detransformed Luka fell to his knees, the jump ropes untying smoothly from his wrists as the Multibugs pulled away and sprinted off in different directions. "DISGUSTING! Ugh!" She stomped toward Luka and grabbed the collar of his shirt and forced him to look up at her. "You're so useless!"

"Hey! Leave him alone!"

Miracle Queen looked to her side, where a fully sized Multibug was glaring at her. "What, this piece of trash?" Miracle Queen mocked, picking a struggling Luka up by the throat until he was hanging a few inches off the ground. "He belongs with the rest of the filthy garbage!" She threw him at Multibug.

"Luka! No!" Multibug rushed in to catch him and they collided, sending them both tumbling to the ground. She sat up with Luka cradled in her arms, he was still dazed from the impact and mind control but it seemed like he was slowly recovering. Her face was set in rage when she looked up at Miracle Queen. "How could you?!"

Instead of responding Miracle Queen summoned a new swarm of wasps. Miracle Queen commanded her wasps to "Get her!" just as Multibug's earrings beeped, starting the countdown to her powers running out.

Multibug growled, trying to decide between letting Luka down to deal with the threat or getting them both out of there as fast as possible. She made her decision, throwing out her yoyo and hooking it onto a railing, pulling her and Luka away from the Trocadero as fast as she could manage trying to outpace the wasps. But even after a few swings the wasps were still pursuing and inching in closer, much too close for comfort. Multibug wasn't sure where she could go that would be safe so she gritted her teeth and dove both her and Luka into the Seine.

⁂

Luka's head was swimming in black and white static. It felt like he was floating in a sea of quicksand, getting swallowed up and drowning in grainy noise. He couldn't have any thoughts of his own last longer than a second, they'd all been drowned out by this stupid buzzing. He must have gone crazy.

"--bzzzkrrzzzzkstshshhbzzzshzzzLuka!bzzzsrrkzstzz--" Wait, that was… that sounded like-- "--rrrbkzzzzshshkstbzzzssskchssshbrLuka!rssshkzzzbzkrrrrbzzz--" Marinette! For one split second he saw her. She'd been panicked, looking up at him with worry. He hated that he made her feel this way.

He felt his legs being forced to move. Something was tugging at his hand, something warm, something small, but the sensation of it kept slipping away unless he fought hard to concentrate on it. Then it let go, letting him fully sink back into the static. He could sense that he'd been walking for some time, and then he stopped. There was this… grating noise on top of the static that must have been someone's voice tell him something… something about… the Miraculous?

Hissing sounds started overlying the buzzing in the background. He felt something tightly coil at his wrist, and when he could stop and focus against the pressure wave of sound that pressed into him from all sides, he noticed that a lot of that hissing came from… that coil? It was shapeless, the definition of its boundaries lost in the black and white grainy spots that covered his vision.

He felt that thing that was hissing bite into his wrist, and man, ouch, what the heck was that-- He started seeing distinct outlines and colors, forms and shapes, could hear silence beyond the buzzing… He could faintly see Sass? That little guy was sinking his fangs into Luka's wrist… He almost got back in control of his senses with the pain from Sass' bite when it felt like his head got yanked back by an invisible hand and it slammed his head forward into the static, sending him back into confusion.

Wait, could he… he couldn't tell if he was breathing, but he could still feel his heartbeat. He needed to focus on that, maybe try to feel the pattern, feel the pulse, meditate on that constant rhythm like a metronome. Could he break free from the static with that?

Sass bit him again. Luka was hoping it was the kwami trying to help more than hurt Luka. He trusted Sass, didn't he? Yeah. Yeah, why did he question that? There was a blinding flash that forced Luka to blink and he forgot about both his meditation and Sass trying to get his attention. What might have been an eternity or a few seconds later, there was another flash, but Luka tried to keep his eyes open. He could swear he saw Sass more clearly in that flash, but what did that mean?

There was another flash. Followed by two more. He'd grabbed something in his left hand. Mouse, he suddenly thought. "--zzzzzzbzzzzhssssssssshshshchtchssszzzzViperion!brrsssszzzzzrrzzz--" Viperion? Was that who he was? Were the blinding flashes his use of Second Chance? Wait… who was calling him? He had the faintest impression of red, or pink maybe, or blue-- Marinette's eyes were staring back up in fear, in pleading -- why couldn't he help her? He wanted to make her happy but he'd just been so--

"You're so useless!"

Yeah. He knew that.

The static noise abruptly stopped and he was looking up at yellow and black, the masked face of Miracle Queen. Her magenta eyes were narrowed and mocking and full of derision. She lifted him by the throat and he was struggling against her, but then he got flung aside. Marinette's voice cut through the lingering thick fog in his mind. "Luka! No!" He landed on something softer than the concrete ground. "How could you?!" Marinette yelled at Miracle Queen, sounding the most angry he'd ever heard her.

Wait, this wasn't Marinette… was it? Luka had tried to get a better look at the girl who was holding him up but then she sent them both soaring through the sky, pulled along by her… magic yoyo. Ladybug? She didn't look like Ladybug… or no he saw some red and black along with the pink and gray of the rest of her suit.

His face was right next to hers. He heard the beeping of her earrings get faster. He also heard Chat Noir's voice coming through Ladybug(?)'s earrings. "Sorry 'Bug, I'm out -- I gotta recharge!"

"Me too!" Ladybug replied, yelling over the wind. "Sorry Luka, we're going in," she said more quietly, pulling him in closer and cradling his head against her chest. Then they both plunged into the Seine.

⁂

To be continued...

Oh boy what a pickle >_>

[peppersjam]

My Top 10 Albums of 2020

Ok, it's nearly February. Let's do this.

Revisiting the 2019 list, I'm struck by how my taste hasn't really changed. All of those albums are still in my regular rotation. This might be the first time that's been true year over year. The only one that has sorta fallen off is My Finest Work Yet but that's just because it's up against Andrew Bird's entire oeuvre.

Runners up: - Fleet Foxes - "Shore" (I got into Fleet Foxes pretty heavily in the Fall when this came out, but I found myself gravitating to their older albums. It's hard to disentangle that) - Caribou - "Suddenly" (It's good) - The Avalanches - "We Will Always Love You" (Also good) - Four Tet - "Sixteen Oceans" (Yes, good)

The pre-2020 albums that should've ranked:

Sharon Van Etten - "Tramp" (2012)

Sharon Van Etten - "Are We There" (2014)

Sharon Van Etten - "Remind Me Tomorrow" (2019)

🙃

10. Fiona Apple – Fetch The Bolt Cutters

I didn't listen to Fetch The Bolt Cutters many times, but it was one of my most memorable listens of the year: I took a day off of work for the first time since COVID protocols began, and I went on a long walk around Pittsburgh with FTBC in my ears. It's hard for anything to live up to a Pitchfork 10/10, but for one afternoon, at least, I agreed.

9. Sylvan Esso – WITH

A live album? But Sylvan Esso dropped a new new album this year. And wait, I've never even had any Sylvan Esson on my year-end lists before!

I miss live music so much. I didn't know that I would, though. Lately I've found myself (like many 30-somethings, probably) having a little bit less fun at concerts than I used to. They're too loud and you have to stand still for too long if you want to have a good view of the stage, and people don't dance as much as you wish they did, etc. etc. The last show I went to was Big Thief at The Fillmore in late November 2019. I stood up front like I used to (sore legs and all), but thank god I did.

WITH is not just a live album but a concert film. They formed a band of their musical friends and performed as a large group rather than as a duo, and the result is, surprisingly, my favorite Sylvan Esso album.

Ugh, and the crowd singing on "Coffee," "my baby does the hanky panky... my baby doessss..."

8. Perfume Genius – Set My Heart On Fire Immediately

This is yet another spectacular entry into the Pefume Genius catalog. Shrug emoji.

7. Taylor Swift – folklore / evermore

CHEATER ALERT! Two albums for the price of one! If I had to pick one of these to keep on a desert island, I'd probably pick evermore. It might be recency bias, but Taylor sounds like she's having more fun on that one. Regardless, Taylor delivered on (a) making TikTok go absolutely bananas trying to decipher hidden messages and (b) giving us the ultramainstream National(Dessner)-produced pop we didn't know we needed.

6. Charli XCX – how i'm feeling now

This album was a perfect palate cleanser to 2019's underwhelming-to-me Charli. She managed to capture the essence of being in COVID lockdown without losing sight of what makes her Charli XCX (i.e., all caps EARWORMS).

5. Adrianne Lenker – songs / instrumentals

CHEATER ALERT PT. 2! I talked a lot about Big Thief on my list last year because of their double whammy of U.F.O.F. and Two Hands (for which I did not, mind you, cheat). Adrianne's 2020 albums were released on the same day, so they're basically one album (right?). Adrianne spent some time with a binaural mic in a cabin in Western Massachusetts and recorded - complete with diagetic birds and windchimes - the most intimate indie rock/folk album I can recall. That entire sentence is Steve catnip.

4. Waxahatchee – Saint Cloud

I had a big Waxahatchee phase in 2018, so I was looking forward to 2020's Saint Cloud, especially after seeing glowing reviews. But I bounced off of it hard after a couple listens.

Sheep that I am, I decided to give it another shot when it started showing up at the top of end-of-year lists. And of course, I loved it.

3. Andy Schauf – The Neon Skyline

This is the only album on this list that I listened to pre-COVID. So there's something special here, for sure. It hooked me with its storytelling, which is smaller in scale than a lot of "story" music. But the smallness is key because it makes everything plausible. There are a bunch of "sad" albums on this list, but none of them wrecked me quite like this one.

2. HAIM – Women in Music Pt. III

Pt. III improves on the HAIM formula in every way. The choruses are catchier and the experimental bits are weirder. I think HAIM may have blown up this year if it weren't for gestures broadly. Not saying they aren't successful as is - but this is an album full of should-be festival hits.

1. Phoebe Bridgers – Punisher

Phoebe's Punisher arrived at the perfect time. Me and everyone on TikTok (at least the TikTok that I was algorithmed into) needed a sad album to lose ourselves in. A lot of these people didn't know Phoebe before this album. I'm jealous of their getting to discover this and Stranger In The Alps and boygenius (and BOCC, I guess) at the same time.

When I saw boygenius in 2018 (HOW was it that long ago?) I came away stunned by Lucy's performance and Julien's raw emotion (mirroring my thoughts from her captivating Outside Lands set in 2016(?!)). But I didn't know exactly what I thought about Phoebe.

I figured it out though! It was very obvious and I am very dumb for not realizing it until Punisher. Phoebe is a brilliant writer. She captures everything with a specificity that that simultaneously draws you into her brain and ejects you out into space.

So it wasn't just that we collectively wanted (needed) a good cry, it's that we were asking (begging) to be ejected from Earth completely, to return when everything was some facsimile of normal again. Phoebe delivered - not just with her patented ballads but with the hilariously uptempo "Kyoto" that asks us to dance alone in our apartments to I wanted to see the world / through your eyes until it happened / then I changed my mind. Yep, this was the perfect year for the equal parts earnest, funny, and sad 2nd Phoebe album.

[possiamo-andare]

Evergreen: Incantava

Eleonora x Edoardo

MASTERLIST

word count: 3.8k

summary: Edoardo and Eleonora bond after Chicco breaks one of Eleornora’s potted plants.

a/n: idk how i feel about this since I’m not 100% comfortable writing about incantava. I’m still trying to figure out how to write the dynamics of their relationship. Hopefully I was somewhat close. enjoy!

~

Eleonora Sava came to the realisation that parties were not something she liked. Of course, if it was a celebration that consisted of just her close friends, some nice penne pasta, and music then she would have enjoyed it. But the party that was being hosted in her home right now wasn't that kind of party. Fede had told her that it would be a small gathering, not more than fifteen people. The truth was just the reverse. The truth was that he had welcomed everybody he met, about two hundred people, along with some of the most irritating music she'd ever heard. It wasn't the hardest part of it. Sadly, an invitation had been extended to Edo Incanti. Somehow, the boy who everyone knew she despised was invited to her party. She didn't know who allowed it but by looking at Gio’s mischievous grin, she knew he was the culprit. Gio had thought they would be amazing together and made sure Ele heard him. Edo pinned after her like a lost puppy dog after she had told him off at the yard just weeks before. Though Gio mocked her (which she protested against) about their compatibility, she was still indifferente to this curly guy. If Ele was anything, it was stubborn.

“El -” Eva hiccuped in Ele’s ear, hanging onto her as if the floor underneath the intoxicated girl was trembling. “Ele.”

“Hm?” Ele hummed, too distracted to give her friend a long winded answer. She searched for Edo through the crowd. Although she would never admit she was, she couldn’t help herself. It was as if her eyes were drawn to him.

“I need to go to the bathroom.” Eva slurred her words together, almost unintelligible.

Fortunately for Ele, she was fluent in drunken Eva's language and instinctively understood what her friend wanted from her. With a deep sigh and the beginning of a headache, she guided Eva to her washroom where she prayed that Eva would not ask for any more help. Thankfully, Ele did not have to push through the crowd, most people moving out of the way when they saw a drunk girl and her sober friend dashing towards the bathroom.

“I’m gonna wait here.” Ele stated, finally letting go of her drunk friend and pushing her through the threshold of the door.

Eva says nothing, only giggling as she slowly closes the door behind her. Only when Ele hears the familiar sound of a lock clicking, does she finally relax. Tonight has not been the best. She’s been so worried about everyone else, she had not any time to herself to actually party. This was one of the reasons she didn’t like huge parties; she was always the one running around looking after everyone.

She kept her head high, however. She wasn't going to let some bad music and a greedy asshole ruin, a happy night with her friends. Granted, Eva was drunk beyond belief and Silvia had disappeared half way through the night but Ele was determined to let nothing ruin her mood. Because of this determination, she decided it is best to avoid Edo all night to keep her joy intact. She told herself it was because he had a talent of upsetting her in ways no one else could. It was definitely not because he looked too handsome for his own good, or because his curly hair fell around his face in a way that made her stomach drop. It was purely because she hated him. And she always would.

This was proven to be nearly impossible because Edo and his friends loved to cause mayhem and Ele seemed to be constantly looking over her shoulder to see if they were behaving themselves. Even now, as she waited outside the door of the washroom for her friend, she couldn't help but scan the room for the curly haired boy and his rambunctious friends. Unfortunately, it was too late. The second her eyes landed on the group of boys, was also the second Chicco opened the sliding glass door that led to her balcony. Ele's balcony housed tons of different types of potted plants, all very delicate. Only a person that understood botany and the intricacy of flora could enter. Chicco did not fit this criteria. Ele knew what was going to happen before it even did. And when she heard the familiar sound of a pot crashing (having dropped many pots before), she only rolled her eyes. Of course Chicco would be the one to break one of her potted plants.

“Hey!” Ele watches as Edo raises his hands in exasperation, not stepping over the threshold of her balcony. He was almost like a vampire; he couldn’t enter the balcony without the owner allowing him to. It was that, or he understood Ele’s boundaries and the first option seemed more viable. “Dio mio Chicco!”

Ele rushes over to her balcony, leaving Eva in the bathroom. Although she wants to see Edo tell Chicco off for being so clumsy, she rather handle him herself. She didn;t need another reason to thank Edo. She had already said thanks to him way too many times. She approaches Edo at the door of her balcony quietly, as to not draw too much attention to the fact they were talking. Edo is too busy scolding Chicco to see her first and she has to speak up before he even looks to his right.

“What’s happened?” Ele asks, her arms already crossed and her brows pushed together.

These are the walls she puts up whenever she’s around Edo because she’s too scared to show him what her eyes might actually show him. So, she forces herself to look annoyed all the time. Truth is, she could care less if the pot was broken. There was a market ten minutes from her home and the pot cost so little but since Edo was behind the culprit who broke it, she knew she’d have to give him a hard time. God forbid she was easy on Edo. She didn’t want him walking around thinking she had a soft spot for him.

“Ele,” Edo sighs, running his hands through his curly (but shitty) hair. Ele watches from behind him as Chicco is carried out from her balcony and placed on her couch by some of Edo’s friends. Chicco is still smiling and acting as if nothing is the matter. “I’m so sorry. I’ll buy you a new one.”

Ele finally crans her head and looks through the open door of her balcony, finding the mess Chicco left. It’s not as bad as she thought but she can’t let Edo know that. One of her smaller flowers, an evergreen plant her brother bought her last week, has been knocked over. The pot it’s in is cracked and most of the soil is on the floor. Although she’s made a worse mess, she knows Edo feels just terrible. She indulges in the idea that he feels this way for his friend’s accident, considering all the turmoil he’s put her through the last year. Not to mention, the date he made her go on with him. Of course, he technically never forced her and she could’ve just come clean to Silvia and she did actually have a pretty good time, but that's besides the point.

Ele looks back at Edo who, to Ele’s glee, looks terrified and frowns deeper. “That was my favourite plant!” It was, infact, not but she wanted to screw with Edo and by the look on his face, it was working.

Edo rubs his temples, a horrible feeling churning in his stomach. “I’m so sorry, Ele.”

Ele rolls her eyes, suppressing a smile. “Nothing you can do now. I’m just gonna get another pot tomorrow.” She’s just about to turn around when, to her surprise, Edo places a gentle touch to her elbow. She stops before she can turn and feels her heartbeat pick up speed from just that simple touch.

“Let me help. It’s the least I could do.” Edo watches as Ele’s eyes stare at where his fingers caress her elbow and he realizes he has just touched her. It was an accident and he had forgotten, for a moment, how much she hated him.

Ele shakes her head, watching as Edo quickly takes his hand off her elbow. “Eduardo -”

“Edoardo.” He corrects, a small smirk on his face. She’s back to being her snarky self.

“ - I don’t need your help.” She ignores his correction, like all the times she has before.

Edo shrugs. “It’s the least I can do.” He really wants to help. Not to mention, he hopes this good deed will get on Ele’s good side considering he’s been on her bad side for way too long.

Ele shakes her head, indignant. “No, the least you could’ve done was never come to this party.” With that, she turns on her heels and walks away from Edo. She hopes he gets the hint and tries not to follow her but she hears him behind her, only a few steps away.

She decides to get away from this party and see if the market is open. The night has not gone the way she hoped and, in some ways, Chicco helped her out by breaking that pot. Now she can escape the crowd by busying herself with her plants. Although she knows it’s rude to leave her guests, she decides to forget about manners. At least for tonight.

“It was an open invitation.” Edo quips, biting his lip and stifling a laugh, She looks so stiff as she walks, she wonders how she’s able to keep such a straight posture. “Besides, if you didn’t want me to come -”

Ele grabs her coat from the closet and finally turns around to face Edo. She has no good argument so she stays quiet as she adjusts the sleeves on her coat. Although she is facing Edo, she makes no effort to look him in the eyes as he continues to blabber on about Lord knows what.

“Edo! Sta 'zitto!” She just wants him to be quiet for a moment so she can collect her thoughts. Her mind is so scrambled by the loud music and cheering, she slips up and accidentally calls Edo by the nickname so many people call him.

Edo smiles. “Edo? Well, Eleonora Sava, I never thought we were that close.”

Ele rolls her eyes, her cheeks burning from embarrassment. “We’re not.”

Edo leans forward and reaches over her head to grab his coat from the closet. She wishes he wasn’t so close but at the same time, he smells so damn good. Ele’s mind is going so crazy that, for a moment, she goes dizzy. He quickly gets his coat and puts in on himself before Ele even has a chance to ask him what he is doing. For a moment, she thinks he may be going home but she knows better than to think Edo would actually listen to her.

“Well, we went on a date so I’d say we’re pretty close.” He still wears that handsome smirk on his lips and Ele wishes he would stop looking so good just for a second so she could be actually upset with him.

Ele rolls her eyes, ignoring his last comment. She’s more concerned with why he has his coat on. “Why do you have your coat on?”

Edo adjusts his collar, glancing at the mirror to his right before looking back at Ele. “First, you’re basically telling me to leave and now you want to know where I’m going. You’re one confusing woman, Eleonora Sava.”

Ele can’t help but cross her arms over her chest. “You’re going home?” She already knows the answer but asks anyway.

Edo shakes his head. “Of course not. I’m gonna accompany you to get another pot.”

Ele narrows her eyes, stepping closer towards her front door. “How did you know -”

Ele’s cut off by Edo’s laugh and she feels her heart flutter. She quickly swallows and tries to suppress the feeling in her chest as she listens to Edo laugh. “C’mon, Ele, you were looking for an excuse to leave this party. I was watching you. You look like a fish out of water.”

Ele tries to ignore the part where Edo was watching her all night and instead focuses on his teasing of how much she feels uncomfortable in crowds. “Well, not everyone can be Eduardo Incanti, the king of partying and getting shit faced drunk.”

Edo shrugs, a sly smirk always present on his face. “What can I say; I’m the life of the party.”

Ele rolls her eyes yet again. She knows that there has to be some kind of record she has broken because she is constantly rolling her eyes around Edo. “You’re not coming.”

Edo fishes in his coat pocket for a moment before pulling a wad of cash clipped together. He comically waves it in front of Ele’s face for a moment and she can’t help but smile at how stupid he is acting. She wonders if any other girl has seen this side of Edo and although she wants to say yes, she knows the truth. Edo proceeds to take three 20€ from the clip before putting the rest back in his pocket.

“You can keep the change.” He grabs Ele’s hand before she can pull away and hands her the cash. She ignores the way Edo’s fingers feel against her wrist and instead focuses on how that much money feels in her hands.

“Are you trying to bribe me?” Ele asks, her other hand moving to the doorknob. She twists it and opens before Edo has time to reply.

“Maybe. Is it working?”

~

Ele had been in Edo’s car on one occasion and she had been beyond uncomfortable. He had come to pick her up for their date and although she was furious, she was more uncomfortable. She had not been on a date for years and she hated the feeling of putting on her best face to impress someone you liked. What was even worse was that she didn’t even like Edo so she was getting ready for someone she didn’t even like.

His car was nothing special. Yes, it was expensive but it was Edoardo Incanti and she suspected he would have a luxurious car. Something that threw her off about his car was that it wasn’t flashy. It was a black, small Benz and although luxurious, it was not in the least flashy. The engine was even quiet, which was something she definitely thought he would have upgraded for something louder. This car did not seem like something someone as pompous as Edo would drive.

As she got in his car for the second time, the same thoughts crossed her mind. He had opened the door for her this time, unlike last where he never got out, and she tried to chalk it up to him being his usually egotistical self. The truth was, everything she had originally thought of Edo was proven not to be true. His car was not flashy and neither were his clothes. Yes, his personality showed her an egotistical player but everything else about him was muted. She wondered how wrong she truly was about him.

“Are you there, amore?” Edo’s voice snapped her from her thoughts. She could hear the amusement in his voice as he questioned whether or not she was listening to him.

Ele looked at him, clearly annoyed as he drove down the street. “Do not call me that.”

Edo nodded, pressing his lips together as to laugh at her bewilderment. SHe looked like a deer in headlights when she heard him call her by that pet name. “Sorry.”

Ele rolled her eyes, watching as he pulled into the market’s driveway. “No, you’re not.” Once his car had fully come to a stop, she opened the door herself and closed it with a loud slam. If it was anyone else, she would have been polite but all of her manners are thrown out the window when it comes to Edo.

Edo walks around the front of his car and approaches Ele, loving his car with a button. “You’re right. I’m not.”

Ele pushes past the shitty haired boy and makes her way towards the white tarp where she knows the pots and plants are located. By this time, the market is closed but it is family owned and run so the owners leave the tarp open for passersby to stop and buy a plant. Ele doesn’t bother to look back at Edo and enters the white tarp and starts looking for the right size pot.

As Ele browses through the aisles, looking for the brown pots she has bought on more than one occasion, Edo scrolls through his phone at the entrance of the tarp. When Ele turns around to walk into the next aisle, she sees Edo at the entrance and scoffs. Of course he would be on his phone. She stops looking for a moment and walks back to Edo at the entrance of the tarp.

“If you don’t wanna be here -” Ele starts but never gets a chance to finish her sentence before Edo starts speaking over her.

“It says here that during the winter, Evergreens can enhance comfort and cut heating expenses by protecting homes from brisk winds. Their thick foliage reduces cooling costs when it shields buildings from bright summer sunlight. They also block and absorb traffic noise throughout the year.” Edo smiles as he continues to read interesting facts on his phone about this interesting plant.

Ele nods. “Yes. I did know that.” She always had praised herself for knowing so much about the plants she cares for.

Edo looks up from his phone and at Ele, a smirk playing on his lips. He closes his phone and Ele watches as the only source of light vanishes from his face. She can still see his face from the light shining from the lamppost nearby but the night turns to light blue. “I guess people are kinda like Evergreens.”

Ele raises her brows, not understanding what Edo has just said in the least. “What?”

Edo shrugs, clearly embarrassed by voicing such an out of pocket comment and not explaining. “I don’t know, like, when you’re around good people, they can make you feel comfortable and warm. They can block out all the noise and make it feel as if it’s only the two of you. You know?”

Ele is taken aback by the insight Edo has just shared with her. Before, she thought it nearly impossible for him to ever say something of substance but he has proved her wrong. For the first time since their date, they’re having a sincere conversation. “I know what you mean.”

Edo finally steps inside the tarp and closer to Ele. She’s beyond scared of what is happening between them but she forces herself to stay in one place. As Edo walks closer to her, he reaches up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. Ele lets him do this, wanting it more than she wants to admit it. Without realizing it, her hand reaches up to touch Edo’s and she lets his hand rest against her cheek. They’re standing so close to each other, Ele is sure he is going to try to kiss her. The most surprising part is she wants him to. She’s been wondering for way too long how his lips would feel against hers.

Surprisingly, Edo does the exact opposite. After moments of just standing there, he removes his hand from Ele’s face and takes a step back from her. Although she is beyond surprised, she says nothing and instead turns back around, resuming her search for the pots. She rounds another corner and walks into the last aisle to see the pots, stacked on the floor. She picks up the one she thinks is the right size before turning to the entrance to see if Edo is still standing there. She smiles at him for what seems like the first time and then walks to him, a pot in her arms. When she finally approaches him again, his signature smirk is back on his lips.

“Found one.” Ele extends her arms forwards, signalling to Edo that she wants him to take it. Understanding right away, Edo takes the pot from her arms to allow Ele to leave some money behind for the pot.

As he watches her dig through her pocket for the money he had given her, Edo wanders to his relationship with Ele. He knows it’s rocky. That would be an understatement. One minute, she’s pretending to be upset with him to make him feel bad and the next second, she’s allowing him to touch her hair. He knew the second she saw the plant that she was faking but he refused to say anything. He knows Ele doesn’t completely understand how well he can read her. He’s been watching her for over a year now, pining and following after a girl who, until a few weeks ago, he was sure didn’t want anything to do with him. Now, everything has changed.

“That should be enough.” Ele says, looking back to Edo. She left one of the 20€ inside the jar of tips the owners had, hoping they would understand that someone came during the night to buy a pot. When Ele finally makes eye contact with Edo again, she can see his mind is elsewhere as he watches her. “You alright?” She knows this is a dumb question considering what had just happened between them but she can not help herself.

Edo nods, clearing his throat before speaking. “I want us to be friends Ele.”

Ele tries to build a wall between him, knowing where this conversation is going. “That’s not what it’s felt like.”

Edo shrugs, smiling at the scared girl. He figured that’s all Ele was underneath; a girl scared of falling in love. “We should at least try.”

Ele thinks for a moment. She wants this but at the same time, she doesn’t want to give Edo the satisfaction of letting them become friends. She knows the more time she spends with him, the more she will inevitably feel something for him. As much as she knows that can’t happen, she also wants to be happy. “I guess.”

Edo sets down the pot for a moment and extends his hand to Ele to shake. Surprised, Ele wearily extends her hand and allows for Edo to shake it. As their hands touch, they both feel a current being exchanged between the both of them. Ele and Edo feel the electricity flow from their fingertips all the way to their chest and explode. They both know what it means and although they rather not say it aloud, they both know they can never truly be friends.

As they both enter Edo’s car, there is only silence between them. And although they are not saying anything, they are thinking the same thing. When they were touching each other, they felt comfortable and warm. They felt at peace. They felt like Evergreens.

~

tagging my friend @teamnick​ who loves incantava as much as I do <3

[wedreamedlove]

Bai Qi In Love - Character Study

Archiving from Reddit. This is also the main post I wanted to bring over but it required my previous Bai Qi - Character Study post LOL.

So I went through Bai Qi's Spring Festival Date and I have not been the same ever since, so I wanted to expel all my emotions in another character post.

Had a couple of songs in the background while I was writing this, so feel free to put them on too while reading this post LOL.

Contains spoilers up to Chapter 15 and lines from unreleased CN cards. Translations are from the CN and JP version, so may have differing lines from the ENG version.

My road map this time is starting out with the origin of Bai Qi's love, moving onto his letter, how he's gone through his life with MC being his North Star, and then finishing off again with just how much he wants to share every moment of his life with her.

I mentioned before in my Speech Quirks post that Bai Qi always defaults to absolute sincerity when he's not sure how to respond to MC and I hope this reminds you of that, and just how he has a sixth sense when it comes to MC. Every cell in his body is attuned to her.

Normally, this level of devotion to someone is probably unhealthy but, well, MC is the paragon of goodness here so he's in good hands LOL.

FALLING SLOWLY (IN LOVE)

First (another song here!), this is the JP translation of ground zero in the [Campus Date]:

The man raised his knife and attacked Bai Qi, stabbing the sharp blade at him. But still, Bai Qi desperately countered.

Finally, everyone was knocked down but Bai Qi, who was bleeding horribly, stumbled. In his hazy consciousness, the sound of the piano gradually weakened. It was like falling into light from heaven.

In that moment, the boss of the gang took this chance to kick Bai Qi and, because of that hit, Bai Qi fell from the rooftop.

Bai Qi reached out with both hands, trying to grab something as he felt himself plummeting.

Suddenly, a melody reverberated, filled with a strong energy, pressure, and tension.

That sound crossed space and time and resonated with Bai Qi's memories.

The sight of his father wearing a military uniform and his gentle mother... memories of his childhood poured into him all at once.

"Lieutenant General, regrettably, there was no evidence of Evol in his genes."

"There's no meaning for such a useless thing to exist."

Since his mother passed away, he was always alone. It was like he was the only one in this world.

If he died, those guys would probably be happy.

Bai Qi heard rhythmical and strong piano notes and, as he was engulfed in the fierce winds, he felt his body becoming lighter.

"NO!"

Not like this.

His life didn't need his father, friends, or a meaning.

Bai Qi clenched his hands into fists with these strong emotions and the power, sleeping deep in his body, awakened.

He felt a pulse in the wind and, between the vast expanse of heaven and earth, life spread through on the wind.

The melody he heard eventually turned into something overflowing with emotions. In the depths of autumn, the gingko leaves blown up by the wind danced and glimmered in the air.

Bai Qi traveled through the air like a bird and small birds, with their wings spread, gathered happily around him.

Entranced with the piano notes, he hummed freely to the song.

The birds flapped their wings, startled by Bai Qi's sudden humming.

Bai Qi gently picked up a small bird and continued to hum.

It was joy for his reborn self and a declaration of the coming light and end of darkness.

He heard the singing of a girl along with the piano notes.

That clear voice had a powerful force which captured people's hearts and wouldn't let go.

The girl's singing and piano drew Bai Qi's mind and body over strongly.

The wind lifted Bai Qi's body and carried him to a window. Looking inside, he saw a girl playing the piano.

Maybe it was the reflection of the gingko leaves fluttering outside the window, but the girl's eyes sparkled like stars.

She continued to accompany herself on the piano and it was as if she was resonating with the wind.

It was an ordinary girl, but he felt a strong spirit from her.

The girl's hands danced on top of the white and black keys and her piano song shook Bai Qi's heart.

He quietly watched her, feeling that the seed sown in his heart was sprouting.

The girl had no idea that her piano saved a boy who was about to fall into a dark abyss.

And there was no way for the girl to know that the boy swore on his life to protect her.

BTW, the song MC was playing at this time was Liszt's Liebestraum No. 3 (Love Dream). During the second anniversary, Papergames confirmed some of the piano songs in the game.

I don't think it needs to be said that Bai Qi was literally going to die at this moment. Not only physically but I'm sure he was mentally at his limits too. Despite the tough act he puts on about being used to loneliness and not caring for what other people think about him, humans are social creatures. He felt like he was all alone in the world and was about to give up on life. I feel like we can draw some analogies to depression here.

There's also an intentional foil in [Chapter 12] between Bai Qi, Jay, and Josie. There's a reference to Josie in [Chapter 7] and MC was sympathizing about how Evol made Josie get treated like a monster, and that sort of darkness can easily change someone. Bai Qi's reply is:

[Main Story 7-18]: "Then I'm very lucky. There was someone who caught me right before I hit the bottom."

But going back to the scene with Jay in [Main Story 12-8], when he's being interrogated, he accuses Bai Qi of not knowing anything about the despair he went through. But, as we all know, Bai Qi lost his father (when he didn't show Evol genes), lost his mother (in the fire), and lost his younger brother (their father took him away and their relationship soured after the death of their mother).

Yet, unlike Jay, he didn't lash out at society and turn to the darkness because he met MC.

[Campus Date] is such a critical date about Bai Qi's character and his convictions and how, while a part of it was formed to go against his father's version of justice, it really solidified because of MC. He learned to love life and cherish its preciousness because of MC.

Because of just how important this ground zero is for Bai Qi, we see references made to this scene again and again and again:

[Main Story 15-7]: "And you saved me. Don't lower your head, look at me. Don't feel insecure and don't feel like you're useless. You caught me again right before I hit the bottom."

[Spring Festival Date]: "The day I met her, there were gingko leaves drifting and falling slowly through the air, and it was the most beautiful time in late autumn. It was also the darkest time of my life. But she was the one who caught me tightly when I fell."

[CN Rumors and Secrets: Ashes]: Bai Qi is bleeding out and touches the picture of MC that he always keeps on him in his breast pocket and sees that a corner of it is stained red. Then he thinks back to the time he heard her play the piano, lightly, gently, slowly, and how it seeped into his body and heart. [Context: this is before he reunites with MC].

THE. LETTER.

We learn about it in [Chapter 7] and how Bai Qi gave it to Minor to pass to the MC, but she saw the bloodstains on it and, because of the bad rumors around Bai Qi and how she misunderstood the sight of him threatening a student to cough up (stolen) money, she thought the letter was a threat LOL.

I'm laughing out loud, but rest assured I'm actually crying inside.

However, the truth is that it was a goodbye letter:

[Main Story 7-20]: "What I regret the most? Probably not handing that letter to that girl personally. [Was it a love letter?] No, it was a goodbye letter. [Why did you write a goodbye letter?] Why should I tell you? [Bro, look, everyone's listening. Give me some face] Because that girl said that she hated it the most when people leave without saying goodbye. [One last question. Could you tell us what was in that letter?] It doesn't matter. Let's just leave that letter in the past. We'll have lots of time in the future together."

For those curious, the contents of the letter is from [CN Rumors and Secrets: Angled Light] but I think this is part of the Dream Heart Lake event series and so won't be released: "Saturday, 9:00AM, I'll be waiting for you in the school library."

By the way, to make things more tragic, you also learn here that he waited for 14 hours at the library, until he was forced out because it was closing, and before he left he slid a gingko leaf into a book that had a collection of Lord Byron poems, which the MC often carried.

The reason he wanted to say goodbye to MC was because, after his Evol awakened and he was going to graduate, his father enlisted him into special training and (threatens) points out that Bai Qi now has someone he wants to protect, but MC is special and she won't have a peaceful life. Does Bai Qi really think he can protect her (as he is)?

It doesn't say what page Bai Qi placed the gingko leaf into, but in [CN Rumors and Secrets: Ashes] Bai Qi thinks he finally understands one of the poems in the book.

Lord Byron's "Don Juan" - Canto the Ninth, XVI and I bolded the part he quotes:

"To be, or not to be?" — Ere I decide,       I should be glad to know that which is being? 'Tis true — we speculate both far and wide,       And deem, because we see, we are all-seeing; For my part, I'll enlist on neither side       Until I see both sides for once agreeing; For me, I sometimes think that Life is Death, Rather than Life a mere affair of breath.

Meanwhile, in [CN Tide of Light SSR Chasing Dreams Date]:

"That year, I did want to give you that letter personally. But I gave myself a way out and left it up to luck. I knew that, at the time, I was still lacking a lot and so I decided that I had to meet you again with my best self."

On a last note, in [CN Yesterday's Breeze SSR Former Days Date] MC asks Bai Qi if he has ever imagined them not reuniting with each other again:

"I've thought about it before. I've thought about how, if I wasn't there, would there be people who would bully that girl and would there be anyone who'd get back at them for her? I've also thought about whether there'd be someone who'd give her a love letter and if she would end up loving someone else... So, if I was to ever meet her again, I had to make sure to catch her. And I'd never let go again."

BTW, in this date, MC has some sort of dream projection where she goes back to their high school days (but the past her also exists LOL so there's two of them) and she has some fun interactions with a grumpy high school Bai Qi. But the heartbreaking part is that MC sees the letter and runs to find him and you get to hear Bai Qi say, self-deriding, that he knew "she" wouldn't come...

HIS (GUIDING MOONLIGHT) NORTH STAR

So, after seeing just how important MC is to Bai Qi, is it any wonder that every atom of his body is attuned to her? SOBS HE JUST LOVES HER SO MUCH. Xu Mo may have the red string of fate, but Bai Qi has "all roads lead to you". She's his lodestone and his compass always points to her.

[CN Lost Forest SSR]: "I will always walk towards you first. You're forever my flag, the one I've kept to throughout every moment of my life."

[CN Go See Him: Military Uniform]: "This uniform and these medals are my convictions, and you are the direction I move forward in."

[CN Southern Wind SSR Road Trip Date]: "The start and end of this journey is you."

I feel like I'm missing more, because I swear the majority of Bai Qi's cards all seem to have some sort of direction quote and relating it back to MC.

Anyway, I won't bother bringing the examples I put in the other post (because they're over there) but this is also why it melts me whenever there's description about Bai Qi's eyes following MC or whenever he's just focusing his attention on her (with heart eyes) in the ASMRs.

Additionally, in my previous character study for Bai Qi, I talked about how MC and Bai Qi both encourage each other to grow with unconditional love and acceptance, but I want to add some quotes here about just how much he takes becoming a better person for MC to heart:

[Spring Festival Date]: "She's the one who told me I could live more strongly, and she's also the one who told me I could live more gently."

[CN Clear After the Rain SSR]: "You're the only one who can find the real me."

[CN Drunk Easterly Wind SSR Three Worlds Date]: "Regardless of whatever lives we have, I will always take my best self and give it to you. This isn't an undertaking and it's not a joke. All of these are just words from my heart."

[Slightly Drunken Date]: "No matter which side of me, they're all yours."

What can I say except that's love, baby! You don't need to complete each other, you just need to encourage each other to be the best version of yourselves!

FOREVER BY YOUR SIDE

Now that we've gotten through the bulk of what I want to say, I'm just going to dump all the romantic stuff Bai Qi has declared to MC.

It really bothers him that he wasn't there for most of her early life, but he maintains his optimism (wouldn't be surprised if he learned it from her) and looks forward to their future together.

[Prank Date]: "I wasn't there for your university, middle school, or elementary school years, and even the time before then. In my memories, there's only the sight of you in high school. At that time, your hair was longer than it is now. But it doesn't matter. From here on, we have time to create new memories."

[Love of my Life SSR Goodnight Wish Call]: "I just... thought about you in many small instances. For example... a movie, a song, a lyric, when I'm crossing the road, and... the moment I close my eyes [...] As long as you're willing, I want to take all the time that's considered yours and turn it to "ours" [...] I want to know how you were before I met you. I want to walk the roads you've walked before, see the sights you've seen before, and... brand my mark on all those moments [...] Yes. I really care about that. I want to make up for all the time I wasn't there in your life. But, right now, what I care about more is our future [...] In our future... I want to hold your hand and walk to the end of our ever after. That's the best future I can imagine."

[Mediterranean Date]: "The missed holidays, the dates I couldn't make, and the many times I had to disappear without being able to tell you... I've never had the time to make up for all of these things. So, no matter what we do, no matter where we go, as long as the person beside me is you, I won't have a single objection."

[Love of my Life SSR Wish Call]: "My wish? From the second I met you again, the wish I made to the stars every night has already been realized."

[2018 Birthday Message]: "Sometimes, whenever I pass an interesting place, I'll think about when I can bring you here to walk around. Whenever I eat something good, I'll buy one more on habit. And, whenever I run into danger on missions, I just need to think about you and my will to fight is rekindled. Because you're here, happy occasions went from being for one person to being for two people. And all the things that would worry someone have disappeared into nothing. Is it strange to hear me say this? But I want to tell you, just how important you are in my life. I don't believe in fate, but I believe in miracles. Meeting you is the most precious miracle in my life."

[Spring Festival Date]: "In the rest of my life, I want to use it all to accompany you, care for you, and love you. This is all genuine. They're all words I want to say to you... words said only to you."

[Main Story 14-22]: "I'll be with you, until the very last moment."

MOM, I LOVE THIS 2D MAN SO MUCH!! Haha, sorry, I just had to get that out of my system. Thank you for reading up to this point and I hope this lets people appreciate Bai Qi more. Gotta spread more propaganda for him and convince people that he's not just the boring vanilla character.

He's someone who was teetering on the edge of darkness and could have become someone who lashed out at society like Jay, but instead he chose to be a protector of the people and to uphold justice (even if his methods are unconventional and morally grey).

He struggles with insecurity but it never gets in the way of what he wants to do and instead motivates him to continue to better himself for MC. There's nothing wrong with setting someone or something as your goal to get through life. Baby steps until you learn how to run on your own, or not when you find someone who will walk the road of life with you.

He's a man who loved the person who literally saved his life (and is probably his raison d'être) for 7 years, never forgot her during that time, and has finally reunited with her.

Okay, ending this post for real now with the Lunar New Year card. BTW the ENG version is totally fine and I have no qualms with its translation, but I just like the nuance more in the CN and JP version.

CN goes 你是我的此生眷恋 which is literally like "you're my affection/attachment in this life". If I wasn't separating it from the English version, I'd translate it as "love of my life" too to simplify it and make it flow. But I find it interesting that 眷恋 (juan lian; sentimental attachment) is used instead of 挚爱 (zhi ai; true love) and the way you'd actually write "love of my life" is 此生挚爱 (ci sheng zhi ai) rather than the card's 此生眷恋 (ci sheng juan lian).

JP goes おまえは俺の一生の憧れ which is literally like "you're the aspiration/longing of my life". Again, I find it so interesting that neither JP or CN are using the character for love 愛 (ai) and JP's 憧れ (akogare) bundles in feelings of yearning, longing, desire, and aspiration. IMO the JP version drives in the fact that MC is someone Bai Qi's trying to catch up to. He's loved her for so long, tries so hard to better himself, and all of it is to become a person he believes can stand by her side.

[fromcrossroadstoking]

The Memories That Stay

A ghost story of sorts about Chuck Grant and his not-exactly-alive WW2 soldier best friend.

Taglist: @indigosandviolets​ @itisjustmethistime​ @gottapenny​ 

Chuck Grant has been haunted almost all his life. Quite literally.

At the tender age of 6, his parents made the fateful decision to move the family of three from California to Virginia. At a mere six years old, Chuck had very little say in the matter. He held small childish protests about wanting to stay at the beach with his nanny and grampy but, again, at only six, he was very easy to pickup and buckle in to a car seat despite his squirming.

Thankfully, six year olds are very easily distracted from their problems. The long car trip across the country filled with whining and wriggling and begging to get out and run around, was quickly erased from Chuck`s thoughts as he laid his eyes upon his new home. 

The house was easily twice as large as his old one and surrounded by a sea of trees. Chuck`s eyes widened in delight - he had never seen so many trees in one place at one time! It was every child`s most wild desire - an entire forest at their fingertips to explore.

The house itself, though large, was nothing to drool over, or at least that`s what young Chuck heard his mom say. The house was old and rather run down looking inside and out. It needed work. A lot of it. Not that that was anything Chuck cared about; oh no, he had a thousand new places to explore and his small heart beat fast with excitement.

~

Chuck made his first new friend within a couple of days. As his parents cleaned and unpacked and did whatever else it is that grownups did when moving in to a new old house, Chuck played with his little green army men in the backyard. Chuck had been playing for a while when he decided it was time for the paratroopers to be deployed. He scooped them up in his hands and made loud airplane sounds as he swooped over the enemy camp and dropped the paratroopers upon them.

"There`s a tear in that one`s chute. Ain`t gonna survive with a tear in the chute."

Chuck`s head swiveled to face the direction of the unfamiliar voice. A man stood at the edge of the woods, just feet from him, dressed almost like one of his army men.

"What?" Now Chuck had been lectured about stranger danger and how he should never, ever talk to people he didn`t know but... well, the strange man had piqued Chuck`s interest with his comment.

"The paratrooper you just dropped. He`s got a tear in his chute. Ain`t gonna survive the jump like that 'cause the chute won`t work right."

Chuck scrunched up his face as he considered the man`s words and then turned to examine the chute of the recently deployed soldier. Lo and behold, there was indeed a tear in the parachute. This, of course, would not do. Before running off to demand his father fix it so that the mission could be completed, he turned back towards the nameless man to thank him (he was raised with manners after all).

The man was nowhere in sight.

~

A few days later the man appeared again. This time, however, it was in Chuck`s room and not the backyard which was odd because Chuck had not heard anyone come in.

"You fix the chute?"

Chuck stared at the stranger for a moment. His mother had just given him a fresh stranger danger lecture yesterday since they were now living in a new place and she felt he might need a reminder. But this man couldn`t be a stranger, could he? After all, if he was in the house, his parents must have let him in. 

"Dad did."

"Good. You complete the mission?"

"Yeah."

The stranger smiled at him like he approved. And then he vanished. Which was another odd thing because Chuck had never seen someone vanish like that before. Somewhere in his six year old mind he chalked it up to magic, because as any child will tell you, magic is a very real thing, and went back to playing with his matchbox cars.

~

The odd man didn`t appear again until Saturday. Chuck knew it was Saturday because his favorite Saturday morning cartoons were on. He was parked on the floor in front of the television, eyes fixated on the bright colors of the screen as he shoveled a spoonful of extra sugary cereal in his mouth. As one character tricked another in to running off a cliff, Chuck heard a soft chuckle behind him. Turning to look, he found the magic vanishing man sitting on the couch.

"You like cartoons?"

"Guess I do. Never really watched them before." 

He really was a very odd man.

Chuck launched in to a detailed explanation of the current show to let his new friend in on what he was missing. The man listened patiently as Chuck went on in the meandering, rambling way that children do when given the freedom to talk about something they`re enthusiastic about.

"Chuck, sweetie, who are you talking to?"

Chuck looked over at his mother, who stood in the living room doorway with a questioning look on her face.

"My friend!" Chuck pointed to a spot on the couch.

"Your friend? And what`s your friend`s name?"

Chuck paused a moment as he realized that he did not in fact know his new friend`s name. He looked at the man and questioned, "What`s your name?"

"Skinny."

Turning back to his mom, Chuck matter-of-factedly announced that his friend`s name was Skinny.

"Skinny?", his mom gave him a amused smile, "That`s a bit of an odd name, isn`t it?"

"That`s not nice, mom! You`re only 'sposed to say stuff when it`s nice stuff!"

"You`re right, hunny. I`m sorry. I`m going to go finish up the laundry. You and your friend have fun watching cartoons, okay?"

~

Skinny became a mainstay in the Grant household after that. Chuck`s parents figured this new imaginary friend was a result of the lack of other children (the new house was rather in the middle of nowhere) and a child`s overactive imagination. Chuck, for his part, was rather annoyed that his parents apparently couldn`t see his very real friend.

At age 8 he had even tried to explain to his parents that Skinny wasn`t imaginary, but in fact, a ghost (which was something that Skinny had carefully explained to him just a year ago). They hadn`t seemed to quite buy that.

~

It wasn`t until Chuck started getting older that his parents started worrying about the fact that his imaginary friend wasn`t disappearing. They began questioning him about his "friend" and Chuck didn`t like that too much. And Chuck especially didn`t like when they sent him to talk to someone about his friend. The office had been stuffy and the man had been old and had talked to him like he was some kind of baby - Chuck was ten at this point and didn`t care for that at all.

So Chuck smartened up. He stopped talking about Skinny to other people. He kept his voice low when he and Skinny were talking. Often he would take a walk in the woods, Skinny by his side, so that they could hold conversations without fear of being overhead. Sometimes he would scribble his side of the conversation in the margins of his notes or drawings, discreetly angling the paper so that Skinny could read it. 

Chuck got very good at keeping Skinny secret.

~

It was in middle school, just a year or so later, that Chuck began asking Skinny more serious questions.

As a child, he would ask Skinny things like "Are there dinosaurs in heaven?" (Chuck hadn`t been sure he wanted to go to a heaven without dinosaurs in it.) He had even asked Skinny once if God really did care if you picked your nose like Chuck`s mom had said. Skinny didn`t have answer to that but assured Chuck that it was gross and he was better off using a tissue like everyone else.

Now the questions shifted to things like;

"You were in the Army?" - "Yep. 101st Airborne. 506th. Easy Company."

"Were you ever in combat?" - "I was. Fought in World War 2."

"Did you kill people?" - "Yes."

"Where do you go when you`re not here?" - "Don`t know. Don`t remember where I`ve been once I reappear."

"Why are you a ghost?" - "Don`t know that either."

"How did you die?" 

When Chuck asked Skinny how he died, there was a long silence like Skinny was carefully chewing over his words before speaking. And once he did start speaking, it took him awhile to get through the story. He kept pausing, rubbing his hands together, shifting in his spot atop the fallen log he occupied.

"Well, you see, we were in this place. Hagenau. Ugly, cold place. It was better than where we were though. Bastogne, that`s where we had just been, you know? That was frozen over hell. Anything was better than that. Hagenau - we at least had roofs over our heads and beds to sleep in. We even got showers. Food was still awful, but at least we had some. And, well. You see... in Hagenau we had to run this patrol, right? And Shifty, my best friend, you remember me telling you about him? Well, Shifty was supposed to go on it. But he was feeling really bad. He was real sick. It was all that cold, you know? So, Shifty was supposed to go and he was feeling real bad, so I told him I`d take his place. Winters was okay with it. So I took his place. Well, on the patrol... on the patrol we had to go in this house. And. And I was lead. And Jackson, this real young kid, he was right on top of me. Could almost feel his breath on the back of my neck. And Jackson, well, he threw this grenade in the house right as I`m about to go in. Got a face full of grenade. And I survived. They got me back to the house we were staying at. I remember that. I don`t remember much, `cause of the pain, but I remember that. I remember Doc Roe, remember his hands, remember him telling me 'Alright now, Skinny. I got you. It`s alright.' And then that`s it. Don`t remember anything after that. I was just suddenly in my childhood home again. So here I am."

The next day at school, Chuck goes to the library to use the school computers there. He tries his hardest to look up Skinny, his unit, anything. There isn`t much out there, just some scant information and half illegible old Army records. But then he finds the one thing he didn`t expect - a book specifically about Skinny`s company. He writes down the book title and the author`s name on a scrap of paper he has with him. The middle school library doesn`t have the book, but he`s sure he can get his dad to take him to the town library next weekend.

~

It`s at the library that Chuck hits the proverbial jackpot. Not only does he find the book he`s looking for, but there are books by other men who served in Easy Company too. There`s even a book about Shifty, Skinny`s best friend.

Chuck checks them all out.

~

Skinny`s reaction is not quite what Chuck expected. He eyes the books with interest but remains quite, says nothing. Chuck expected at least some excitement, a little gratitude at least.

But at Chuck`s offer to read him the books out loud, Skinny merely declines with a slight shake of his head before dissolving away.

~

It would be several days before Chuck sees Skinny again. Chuck, although only twelve at the time, instinctively understands that the war is a topic that Skinny would rather avoid and so he avoids it too.

The books are returned to the library, unread.

~

Chuck leaves the topic well enough alone until his junior year of high school. He takes an AP US History class and his teacher happens to be rather fixated on the topic of World War 2. Chuck has never been so interested in a class before. He listens with rapt attention, delves whole-heartedly in to the readings, and even chooses to do his final paper on the Battle of the Bulge.

He carefully keeps this all away from Skinny, of course. Although, the more Chuck learns, the greater the itch is to ask Skinny questions. But Skinny has been his best friend for almost eleven years now and Chuck knows the topic is painful, so he bites his tongue.

Skinny notices of course. He notices the history books that Chuck hides away in his backpack. He notices the internet tabs opened to sites on World War 2 that are hurriedly closed when Skinny appears. He notices how Chuck practically doubles himself over papers that he`s working on, as if to hide the assignments from Skinny. Skinny might be a ghost, but he`s not dumb.

~

It`s winter break of Chuck`s senior year of high school when Skinny asks Chuck to sit down with him for a long overdue conversation. Chuck`s parents are away at some conference or other and it`s just Chuck and Skinny alone in the house. The wind howls outside as a blizzard blows through -the world beyond the four walls of the house is barely visible thanks to the whirlwind of white. Chuck can tell the weather unsettles Skinny in some way. It always does.

There is a long stretch of silence after they take their seats - Chuck curled under a blanket on the sofa, Skinny sitting in the recliner across from him, leg bouncing a million miles per hour. Chuck lets the quiet goes on for as long as it has to. Skinny will talk when he`s ready. Chuck need only be patient.

And when Skinny finally breaks the silence that has been dragging on for a handful of minutes and begins his story, Chuck sits stock still and listens intently. He knows better than to interrupt.

~

When Skinny finishes telling Chuck everything - why he joined the paratroopers, the training at Toccoa, the friends he made, the friends he lost, the terror of war, what it felt like to take another`s life - Skinny seems different somehow. Lighter. Relieved almost.

But still. Chuck`s gut says there`s something else. Perhaps it`s the way Skinny`s face scrunches or the quick flash of... worry? guilt?... that passes over Skinny`s face. But Chuck knows better than to push.

Skinny will talk when he`s ready.

~

Skinny is perched on the desk in Chuck`s room as Chuck packs. Chuck can tell Skinny is anxious from the way he chews on his bottom lip. Truth be told, Chuck is a bit anxious too. Well. Perhaps more than a bit anxious.

When they had moved in oh so many years ago, the house had stood abandoned (except for a handful of squatters here and there) since the early fifties. Skinny`s family had been the last ones to properly live there. Except, of course, for Skinny. Although Chuck wasn`t sure the word "living" could be applied to Skinny`s situation.

Skinny had been alone for decades before the the Grants moved in. And now here Chuck was, the only person of their little family who could see Skinny, packing to go away to college.

The plan was for Skinny to attempt to follow Chuck. In the beginning it had seemed that Skinny was restricted to the house and surrounding property. But over the years, Skinny slowly gained the ability to follow Chuck places and would pop up at school (test days were a lot easier when you had a ghost whispering you the answers), weddings (much less boring with a ghost friend in tow), and even a funeral (admittedly a bit of an awkward thing to attend with a ghost). The thing was despite accompanying him on hikes and grocery trips and ice cream runs, Skinny had never been able to follow Chuck more than a few counties over. And the college that Chuck was attending was definitely more than a few counties over.

The thought of Skinny not being able to follow him, of having to leave Skinny alone, made Chuck`s chest tighten with worry and even a bit of guilt. He crossed his fingers that his theory proved accurate - as time went on Skinny was becoming more attached to Chuck than to the house (which would be an unsettling theory if the ghost was anyone but Skinny). It had been a couple of years since Chuck had gone beyond Skinny`s boundaries. This would be the ultimate test.

~

Chuck held his breath the day he moved in to the dorms. He was waiting for some sign of Skinny. The hours wore on - he unpacked, met his roommate, walked the campus with his parents, and even had dinner with them. Still no Skinny. Chuck could feel his heart sinking as the sun began to go down. His stomach twisted at the thought of how Skinny would be all alone again, save for the times Chuck visited home.

His roommate dragged him out to a party later that night. Chuck wasn`t all too fond of his roommate or the party but he went anyway. What else is a kid supposed to do during his first night at college?

~

The next morning - mid morning really - Chuck woke up to discover his roommate (John? Jake?) was already long gone. Groaning, he buried his face in his pillow. Yep, he had definitely had too much to drink if the hammering in his head was any indication.

"Already having too much fun? Come on now, Chuck. I can`t even leave you for a day anymore."

Chuck`s head whipped up, far too fast for the likes of the throbbing in his skull, at the sound of the familiar teasing voice.

Skinny had made it.

~

Chuck had been right it turns out - Skinny had slowly become more attached to him than to the house over the years. And during Chuck`s freshman year of college, the two of them take full advantage of this fact.

Skinny tags along to amusement parks and museums and bars and parties. He follows Chuck to the library and to football games and hockey games and baseball games. At Skinny`s request, Chuck even goes to the zoo and the aquarium - Skinny always wanted to see penguins and tigers. 

Freshman year and the subsequent summer are non stop adventures for the duo. They were constantly heading one place or another, sometimes with other people in tow, sometimes just the two of them.

Skinny does more in that one year than he had in the several decades preceding.

~

That summer, Chuck decides to get an apartment instead of moving back in to the dorms. Of course, Chuck knows that he`ll need to get a roommate in order to swing rent, so he looks on the college`s "Roommates Wanted" Facebook page. And that is where he meets Floyd Talbert.

"What if he`s crazy?"

"He`s not."

"You don`t know that."

"Well, I talk to a ghost so if either of us is crazy, it`s probably me."

~

Turns out Floyd prefers to be called Tab. Also, turns out that he and Chuck make fast friends. 

They meet a couple times that summer before officially agreeing to become roommates. After grabbing lunch for the second time, Chuck decides Tab seems like an okay guy. Skinny, thankfully, agrees. 

~

As sophomore year gets under way and the months start to turn cooler, Chuck wrestles with a very important decision. In just a few short months, Tab had quickly become one of the closest friends Chuck had ever had (the other being Skinny). And with Skinny being such an important part of Chuck`s life, it began feeling odd to leave Tab in the dark. 

But... how exactly do you go about telling your new best friend that you`ve been haunted by the ghost of a WW2 paratrooper since you were six? And that said paratrooper was your absolute best friend? And that said paratrooper was also currently a third, albeit invisible, roommate in the tiny apartment that you and your actually alive friend share?

Chuck could already tell it was going to be an awkward conversation.

~

"Wait. You`re actually serious?"

"Yeah, I am."

"So you`re telling me, very seriously, that the ghost of some dude who died in World War 2 has been haunting you since you were a little kid? And he`s now like, attached to you? And that doesn't hit you as creepy? At all?"

"Well, to be fair, I did move in to his childhood bedroom. He was sorta there first. And Skinny`s not creepy. If you could just meet him, you`d-"

"But I can`t. Because he`s dead."

"Yeah."

An awkward silence stretched between them before Tab finally spoke again.

"Prove it."

"What?"

"If you don`t want me to think you`re crazy, prove there`s a ghost here. Have him... I don`t know... open the cabinets, slam doors, stack chairs, you know - go full poltergeist."

"Uhh.." Chuck hesitated. Skinny could do exactly none of those things. Hell, it had taken the better part of several years just to get Skinny to the point where he could move a lightweight cup the incredibly impressive distance of an inch.

"Hold on." Chuck went to the cupboard and pulled out the lightest cup he could find - a neon orange plastic thing with the name of a bar and a handful of scantily clad women printed on it. Setting it down on the counter between him and Tab, he took a step back.

"Skinny, can you move the cup please?"

Chuck watched the corners of Skinny`s mouth turn down ever so slightly as he stepped forward.

"I`ll do my best, kid."

There is nothing but silence in the room as a small eternity passes before the cup begins to move. Slowly, slowly, it creeps to the left just about an inch. Chuck lets out a small breath of relief that Skinny was able to do it.

"That`s it?"

Chuck throws a glare at the fully unimpressed Tab, "It`s not like the movies, okay? It took him a long time just to learn how to do that!"

"Alright, fine. He really can`t do anything else?"

"No, he-" And that`s when Chuck has a brilliant idea.

"Okay, how about this? Write something on a piece of paper and hold it so that someone reading over your shoulder can read it. Skinny`ll tell me what it says."

"Okay," Tab shrugs, obviously still not fully buying the whole Chuck-has-a-ghost-friend deal. Still, he grabs a pen and paper and does as instructed.

"This is fucking stupid."

"I know, Skinny. But can you just tell me what it says?"

"That`s what it says: This is fucking stupid."

Chuck snorts and repeats the phrase. He doesn`t miss the quick flash of surprise on Tab`s face. And then the games begin.

Tab has Chuck wear a blindfold. Chuck still gets the words correct. 

Tab has Chuck sit in another room. Chuck gets the words correct again.

Tab has Chuck sit in another room while blindfolded. Chuck is correct yet again.

Eventually, Tab admits defeat. 

"Alright,  so there`s a ghost named, of all things, Skinny, here."

"Well, his name`s technically Wayne but he prefers to be called Skinny."

"Right. Well, please tell Skinny that I say hi and that it`s nice to meet him. Well, sort of meet him."

"Please tell Tab that I`m dead, not deaf. I can hear his loudmouth just fine."

~

It`s a bit of a relief now that Tab knows about Skinny. Chuck doesn`t have to keep such a large secret from Tab anymore and he can even talk to Skinny out loud now when Tab is home.

It proves to be a bit of an adjustment on Tab`s part but he eventually gets the hang of deciphering when Chuck is talking to him and when Chuck is talking to Skinny. He even gets used to talking to Skinny through Chuck. Too used to it, one might say.

"Hey, Skinny, can you walk through walls?" 

There`s a beat before Chuck replies with Skinny`s answer, "Yes."

"Skinny, was there like a white light when you died?"

Again, another beat before Chuck repeats Skinny`s answer for the non-ghost-vision-inclined, "Not that I remember, sorry."

"Hey, Skinny, what`s jumping out of a plane like?"

"Hey, did you have Cheerios in the 1940s?"

"Skinny, did you have tv as a kid?"

"Did you eat pizza in the 40s? Did they deliver?"

"What`s your favorite decade so far?"

"What do you miss the most about being alive?"

"What`s the best part about being a ghost?"

"Are you ever offended by scary ghost stereotypes? What about when people wear sheets and pretend to be ghosts?"

"Have you ever met another ghost?"

Tab`s questions were un-ending from the moment he accepted Skinny`s existence as a fact. Chuck occasionally considered smothering Tab with a pillow just to get a break from his ghost interpreter job for five damn minutes.

~

It`s a bright and cold winter morning when Tab asks what turns out to be a very important question, "Are any of your soldier buddies still alive?"

"I don`t know."

"He doesn`t know," Chuck relays the answer to Tab.

"Do you want to know?"

Skinny is quiet for a long moment.

"I don`t know."

~

Tab`s the one who finds out about the living members of Easy. There aren`t many - just a handful left - and only one that`s close by.

"You`re stalker skills are... concerning."

"Research skills. And they weren`t that hard to find."

Skinny is off doing whatever it is ghosts do when they aren`t visible, so it`s just Tab and Chuck  holed up in the university library doing homework. Well, Chuck is doing homework. Tab is apparently tracking down WW2 veterans.

"Whatever you say. Don`t know why you`re so dead set on this. We don`t even know if Skinny will even want to see any of them."

"Well, his soul has to be hanging around for a reason, right? Maybe he needs closure. And then he can move on, you know, in to the white light and all that jazz."

Chuck makes a soft mmm sound in the back of his throat as he turns back to his chemistry textbook.

"You do want him to move on, don`t you?"

Chuck doesn`t respond because he doesn`t know the answer. Sure, Skinny has been around long enough. He deserves to move on. But...

~

That night as Chuck is laying in bed, trying to fall asleep, he`s plagued by memories - 

He`s just a kid, legs barely long enough to reach the pedals of his bike. His parents told him to wait, told him he wasn`t tall enough for the big kid bike yet, wasn`t ready to ride a bike without training wheels. It`s a hot summer day, sweat glues his shirt to him, as he gets up after falling from the bike yet again. Skinny is there. Encouraging him, giving him tips, telling him he can do it if he just tries one more time. Chuck goes home that night, just as the sun is going down, with scraped up knees and a new found ability to ride a big kid bike.

He`s eight years old and his parents are fighting. It`s loud and angry and scary and unlike any fight Chuck has ever heard before. Skinny convinces Chuck to sneak outside. It`s pouring out but Skinny swears worm hunting is best when it`s pouring buckets. Skinny talks the entire time - non stop and loudly - it`s very unlike Skinny. But between the rain crashing down and Skinny`s incessant chatter, Chuck can`t hear a word of his parents' shouting.

It`s ninth grade and Chuck is struggling to remember the answer to number ten on his science test. He`s already answered everything else on the test and he knows that this last answer is buried somewhere in his brain, if only he could just drag it to the surface. His face is crinkled in frustration and he chews at his bottom lip. Skinny quietly steps in and gently prods him towards the right answer. When Chuck gets the graded test back, there`s a bright red "A" on top.

Chuck crashes his car during his senior year of high school. Chuck is fine, the car not so much. The little junker car Chuck had worked so hard to save up for is totaled and Chuck takes the loss hard. Skinny stays up all night long with Chuck that night. He tells Chuck jokes and funny stories. He even tells Chuck about the time he got caught on the train tracks with a girl and his response to Sobel when questioned about it - “The train was coming, she was coming, and so was I.” Chuck cracked a smile for the first time that day.

~

The next morning, Chuck has officially made up his mind. As much as he doesn`t want Skinny to go, as much as he doesn`t want to risk losing his best friend, Skinny has more than earned the right to find some peace.

It`s just the two of them at the breakfast table. Tab, who doesn`t get up before 10 am unless there is an emergency, is still sound asleep. It`s the perfect opportunity for a long overdue talk.

"Hey Skinny?"

"Yeah?"

"You know, we, uh, did some research, and some of your old company is still alive."

Skinny looks at him curiously and says nothing.

"Winters is alive. And Malarkey. Guarnere and Heffron too. And, uh," Chuck hesitates because he knows the weight of the next name, it`s the weight of a best friend left behind, the weight of someone he died in place of, "Shifty`s alive too. Not far from here. Less than an hour, actually."

The look on Skinny`s face is one that Chuck can`t name and Chuck can`t help but worry that he made the wrong decision in telling him about Shifty as Skinny slowly fades from view.

~

Chuck doesn`t see Skinny again until the next day. He simply appears from thin air next to Chuck during his morning lecture.

"I want to see Shifty."

Chuck nods and Skinny disappears again.

~

The day that they pile in to Tab`s car and drive the 45 minutes to the Powers residence, there isn`t a plan really. 

The car is packed with tension filled silence as they finally pull up in front of Shifty`s house. It`s a modest but inviting looking home on an unpaved back road. The neighborhood consists of more trees than houses, making their presence conspicuous. 

The three of them sit quietly in the car, gazing at the house, unsure of what to do next. The silence only seems to grow thicker before Skinny finally speaks up.

"Can I... can we... go talk to him?"

"Yeah, okay."

Chuck isn`t sure how this is going to work exactly. Knocking on some elderly man`s door and telling him his best friend who died decades ago is currently a ghost that would like to speak to him, isn`t your standard conversation. But he owes it to Skinny to try. So he slowly gets out of the car and makes his way to the house, Tab and Skinny in tow. 

The bundle of nerves in Chuck`s stomach threatens to swallow him whole as he knocks on the door. An older man wearing a button down shirt and tidy tan slacks, who Chuck assumes can only be Shifty, answers the door.

"May I help you?" The man`s voice is surprisingly soft. Far from the grizzled harsh voice of a veteran that Chuck was expecting.

"Uh, yes sir. My name is Chuck, Chuck Grant, and this is my friend, Floyd Talbert. We`re here because, well, I moved in to the childhood home of your friend, Skinny, and turns out he was still there. His spirit, I mean, and-"

A dark look crosses the older man`s face, "Now, I don`t have time for these kind of jokes. They ain`t very funny." He begins to close the door and Chuck puts his hand out to stop him.

"Please sir," Chuck shoots a desperate looking at Skinny, quietly pleading for some direction.

"Say... say 'remember when we stole Dike`s chocolate ration and gave it to Doc 'cause he was looking real bad'!"

Chuck hurriedly repeats the words to Shifty, whose mouth drops open a little as he hears what Chuck is saying.

"Now, who told you about that? Skinny and I were the only ones who knew where we got that chocolate from."

"I`m telling you sir, Skinny is here. His ghost is. Right here, on your porch, next to me."

"Tell him 'I never did get to take your sister out dancing'.'"

As Chuck repeats after Skinny, he can see something click behind Shifty`s eyes. Maybe it`s the words he says or maybe it`s the desperate, pleading look on Chuck`s face or maybe it`s both of those things combined, Chuck doesn`t know, but Shifty seems to soften.

"You ain`t lyin', are you?." And with that, Shifty invites them inside.

~

"Skinny used to joke that when we got home, he was goin' to take my sister out dancin' and she`d fall in love with him and he was goin' to be my brother-in-law." Shifty smiles fondly at the memory as he recalls it.

They`re all  sitting in Shifty`s living room now, cups of coffee in hand.

It`s awkward at first but it seems that Skinny and Shifty easily fall back in to their old banter despite the odd barrier of one of them being technically dead and having to speak through a third party.

~

Track of time is easily lost that day. Stories and jokes and memories are exchanged without end. In a way, Skinny feels more alive than he has in a very, very long time.

The sun is just disappearing beyond the horizon when Skinny says something that he`s wanted to say for decades. He carefully tells Chuck the exact words to say.

"Skinny says he doesn`t regret it, the patrol. He doesn`t regret going on that patrol for a second. He needs you to know that because he knows how you are, how you`ve probably felt guilty about that this whole time. He says he doesn`t want you to feel guilty. He`s never blamed you and he doesn`t want you blaming yourself. He`d take your place on that patrol even if he knew what was going to happen."

There`s quiet after Chuck finishes speaking. There are tears glistening in Shifty`s eyes and they began to roll down his cheeks as he shoulders began to softly shake.

"Thank you, Skinny."

~

An hour or so later, when they finally begin to leave, Shifty presses something in to Chuck`s hand.

Chuck looks down at what Shifty has given him. It`s an old photograph of a young paratrooper, a giant grin splashed across his face. He recognizes Skinny immediately.

"Shifty, I can`t-"

"Hush now. I want you to have it. You`ve done more for me today than I can ever explain."

Shifty shakes Chuck`s hand with an unexpected amount of strength and something in Chuck`s gut tells him this is the last time he`ll ever speak to Shifty.

~

The ride home is quiet but unlike the tension filled silence of the ride to Shifty`s house, this quiet is a peaceful one. A weight has been lifted and everyone in the car, especially Skinny and Chuck, can feel it.

~

Chuck is out like a light almost as soon as he walks through the door of their apartment. Being the go between for the living and the dead is a surprisingly exhausting job.

Skinny quietly watches Chuck sleep - Chuck, who he has watched grow up, who has become like Skinny`s own flesh and blood. He smiles softly, grateful for the second chance at family that he received, so long after his own family had died out.

He can feel something like a light tugging sensation and he knows it`s time. Some part of him understands that he`s free to move on now, to leave this world behind finally, and move on to the next.

Chuck is out cold and Skinny has no desire to wake him. There is no need for this to be any harder than it has to be.

"Love you, kid. Be good." Chuck can hear him, at least some part of him can. Skinny knows it.

~

When Chuck wakes up the next morning, he knows almost immediately that Skinny is gone. There is an emptiness that Chuck has never felt until now. Before, even when Skinny disappeared from sight, it was like Chuck could feel his presence - it was a warm, familiar thing. But this morning, there is nothing. Nothing but the faint impression of a goodbye residing in his mind like a fuzzy, worn out photo.

~

There`s an article in the local newspaper a few days later - WW2 Vet, "Shifty Powers", Passed Away. It`s not a headline most people would smile at. But Chuck does. 

Shifty and Skinny will finally get to see each other face to face again.

~

Shifty`s funeral is a large affair. Beloved by the entire community, he is mourned by entire crowds of people.

Chuck is the only one to feel the loss of Skinny.

It`s an odd thing to be the only one mourning the loss of someone - to be the only one to know that someone was even gone. Sure, there was Tab, but he had never really "met" Skinny - he had only ever interacted with him through Chuck.

No, the loss of Skinny was Chuck`s loss to bear alone. 

~

It`s been months now since Skinny moved on. Chuck still feels the pang of loss, although the pain becomes less sharp as each day passes.

Sophomore year is almost over now and Chuck takes a seat at his desk to get started on his final paper for the creative writing elective he signed up for. The final paper is supposed to be an original story and the professor has given them free reign to write on any topic they want.

Chuck has decided to write a ghost story, of sorts - a ghost story about someone, barely out of their teen years, who loses his life fighting a war an ocean away, and takes a dirt-covered little kid under his wing decades later. The words come easy, flowing almost effortlessly, as he writes. He pours every little bit of love, of sadness, of grief, he has into the paragraphs. In many ways, what he writes is a memorial to his dear lost friend.

Watching over Chuck`s progress from atop the bookshelf behind him, is a black and white photograph of a smiling young paratrooper, now housed in a simple black frame, a little green Army man with a patched up parachute standing guard next to it.

[highqueenofelfhame]

As soon as they were out of the car, Aelin was reaching for Aedion and lacing their fingers together. Lysandra appeared on her other side, arm looping through her own as they surrounded her as a steadying force. Aedion pressed a kiss to her temple, murmuring that he would be right beside her the whole time. It felt silly, needing so much support to walk into a house, but it was support that she couldn’t be without today. 

They stood in front of the manor, the place she had grown up. Her home. Aelin had still failed to go inside, but she wanted to visit the grounds before bringing Rowan back to go through her father’s study. The primary concern was that if she didn’t, she would have some sort of a breakdown over the whole affair. 

The manor itself was massive. When they’d pulled up to the front, they circled the large fountain before parking in front of the stairs that lead to the main entry. To her right, the green house jutted out slightly, the large dome of the glass ceiling sparkling in the sun. Stone banisters curled around the greenhouse, snaking around the back of the manor. Nearly all the window panes were covered in ivy, even the main portion of the house that leaned on being more gothic-style in architecture with spires reaching for the clouds. 

Banisters lined the flat roof, a place Aedion and Aelin had spent many nights pointing out constellations and dozing under the cover of the moon. When they got older, Sam had joined them, too. It’d always been something special, something soothing when things were rough. Part of her wished desperately that she had let herself grieve her parents and Sam with Aedion up on that roof, shielded by the dark blanket of the night. But it was a little late for that now. 

Exhaling slowly, she released Aedion’s hand to begin her ascent up the stairs. She was careful to avoid the icy patches on the steps that had yet to completely thaw under the mid-morning sun. With her support system behind her, she couldn’t help but feel her stomach twisting at how odd it felt to be going home at long last. It was familiar, it was home. But somehow it felt foreign and cold. 

Aelin pulled out the key and unlocked the door, a heavy exhale dropping from her lips as the door swung open to reveal the grand staircases on either side of the entry. In the center was an abundant floral arrangement on a large marble table. It was opulent and every bit the home you’d expect a Lord and Lady of Terrasen to live in. 

Down the hall to the left, sugary confections were being made in the kitchens. The smell made her stomach grumble and tugged her toward it, begging her to go see, to go taste. If she’d missed anything about life at the manor, it was Marion Lochan’s baking she had so often snuck down to the kitchens for in the middle of the night. She followed the smells, taking in the sight of the manor that remained, for the most part, completely unchanged. 

When she reached the door to the kitchen, a voice was humming along to a song and she knew immediately who the voice belonged to. Pushing into the room, she received a double-take from both women behind the counter before the younger of the two was bounding across the room and throwing her arms around her neck. 

“Oh, Aelin!” She breathed, squeezing her tightly. Aelin melted into her embrace as Marion joined them, kissing Aelin’s head and running a hand through her hair. It was impossible to resist melting into the embrace, to feel a motherly touch after so long of living the way she had been. Her life the last few years had been hard, by no one’s fault but her own, and she sorely regretted not coming back to this sooner. Her eyes instantly teared up as she shifted to hug Marion tightly, her face pressing into the matron’s neck.

Marion was the head of household. When her parents were away, she had often been in charge of Aelin and everything that entailed. As a young girl, she’d played and tutored with Elide constantly. When Elide had grown older she had become Aelin’s hand maid. However, they were so much more than servants or people that worked in the house. They were family, and that was that. 

Marion was like a second mother. Not in the sense that Evalin Ashryver had ever for a second been inadequate in any way. In fact, her mom was the best mother in the world, she’d wager. But Marion had always been a steady constant in her life, had always been there if Evalin was out of reach. Marion and Evalin had been the best of friends, sisters of sorts. Elide had quickly become the same to Aelin, someone that had become like a little sister that she’d never had. Elide had harbored all of Aelin’s secrets like a sister, never once selling her out for sneaking out her bedroom window to spend nights on the lake with Sam. 

“Welcome home, my love,” Marion said softly against her hair, hands running soothingly over her shoulder blades. She pulled back slightly, wiping the tears from Aelin’s cheeks. Elide, however, was beaming. 

“Aedion mentioned you were due to come by today. We’re making your favorite.” 

“Chocolate hazelnut cake!” She exclaimed, having known as soon as the front door had opened what would be awaiting her down the hall. “Thank you. Really, you didn’t have to.”

“Go finish having a look,” Marion insisted. “I’ll call for you when it’s finished.” So following instruction, Aelin nodded and left the kitchen to explore the house that had built her.

Not a single thing had changed, even when she got to her own bedroom. It had been kept tidy and clean, nothing out of place and no dust bunnies in sight. Her school books were still stacked on her desk by the window, her bed was made with all nine pillows overflowing the plush duvet. The book shelves that covered half the room remained color coded and as pristine as she’d left them. Her fingers traced the letters down the spines of some of the titles. Some of them were first editions of classics worth tons of money, and she felt guilt rising up in her chest for leaving them unattended for so long. 

Pausing near the window, she touched the white gossamer curtains and frowned. The purple, silver, and white color scheme somehow didn’t fit her anymore. As soon as she was back downstairs, she made a mental note to request a change of color scheme to better suit her tastes now. 

From the curtains, her gaze shifted to the desk where a photo of her and Sam was perched front and center. Immediately, her chest was squeezing and contracting, her throat burning with tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks. Her lips were pressed to his cheek and he was smiling in a wide, goofy grin. Their hair was sprinkled with snow, their noses and cheeks nipped with cold. Aelin glanced over her shoulder at Aedion, who took a few steps toward her.

Instead of speaking, Aelin shook her head to halt him as she moved to her closet. Dress after dress lined the left side, so many of them unworn. All of her casual clothes had been packed up by Lysandra and were at her apartment now, so the right side of the closet remained mostly bare. She stepped back into the main room, not bothering to glance at the bathroom before exiting back into the hall and turning toward her parents’ rooms. Aedion walked beside her down to the west wing, his hand a reminder that he was there as he rested it on her lower back. 

When she pushed open the doors, her hands began to shake because everything was perfect. 

Perfect, like they would be coming home any minute. Her mother would be home to take a hot bath and slip into more casual clothes, her dad would disappear into his study until dinner. After dinner, they’d watch a movie while she studied for exams, or go downtown to the antique shops they frequented every week. 

When she stepped into the closet, she was nearly brought to her knees. Everything was so perefectly preserved that she swore she could smell their perfume, their cologne. Harder her hands shook as she picked up the bottle of perfume on a shelf and sniffed, tears falling down her cheeks in white hot streaks that she couldn’t stop. When the sobs began, she couldn’t stop them. The bottle slipped from her hands and shattered all over the marble floor. Small pieces of glass grazed the skin of her ankles in the explosion, drawing blood and stinging as the perfume settled into her skin. The scent was overwhelming as she dropped to her knees, sobbing in the mess until Aedion scooped her into his arms and carried her from the closet. 

“I’m sorry,” she cried. “I’m so sorry, Mama. I’m so sorry.” The confessions poured out of her, that she was sorry for not finishing school, for disappointing them. That she was sorry for wasting her life. She even turned her face up to Aedion’s as he held her and apologized to him, too, for all the trouble she’d given him over the years. With her entire body shaking, she pressed her face into his shoulder and sobbed. 

There, curled up in Aedion’s lap in her parents’ old bedroom, she wept and wept until there were no more tears to cry. 

~*~

“Ace, you know I hate this creepy ass building.” Aedion had a look of distaste curling his lip as she walked them into the mausoleum. Eyes rolling, she pulled open the gate and gestured for them to get inside.

“I need to show you something.”

“What could she possibly need to show me in a crypt?” He grumbled to Lysandra, who elbowed him roughly in the ribs. Once inside, Aelin unlocked the secret door. The look on Aedion’s face was priceless as it crumpled with complete and utter confusion at the whirring and churning sounds coming from the walls. When the wall jutted out, his jaw dropped open, but his complaints about the crypt didn’t stop. Not even when Aelin had revealed the hidden space that Rowan, Fenrys, and Aelin affectionately referred to as the Bunker. 

Aedion had as many questions as Aelin, and she didn her best to explain. It was easy to see that this was as much a surprise to him as it had been to her; Aedion’d had no idea what her father had been up to down there. It seemed he’d only ever been trained in the family businesses, not whatever this was. She watched him carefully as he took in all the writing on the walls, as he traced a finger along what could only be described as the conspiracy wall. 

“When did you find all this?”

“A few weeks ago. That day I found that note in your desk. Fen has been helping. Dr. Whitethorn - Rowan - he thinks that they were murdered. And I think he’s right.” Aelin was twisting the hem of her shirt in her hands anxiously. Aedion let out a whoosh of air like it had been knocked clean from his lungs, and as his eyes fell shut he quietly said, “Tell me everything you know.”

~*~

Friday rolled around quicker than she had expected. She was down in the bunker, packing up every bit of information that had been left behind. They had spent the last two days organizing all the information into a foolproof system that would make it easy to find anything they sought out. After taking multiple photos of the conspiracy, they began to dismantle that, too, so they could later rebuild it at a different location. 

Aelin’s hair was braided down her back, stray strands around her face sticking to the slight swear she’d managed to work up while heaving boxes around. She had just finished packing another when she heard her name being shouted from outside. Lysandra immediately opened her mouth to make a snarky comment, but Aelin cut her off. “He’s my doctor. And a friend. And he’s helping.”

“Helping you orgasm?” Aedion snorted at his girlfriend while Aelin threw an old passport at her like a frisbee. Her friend hissed in response. 

“No, that’s what Fenrys is for,” she countered, sticking her tongue out as Rowan descended the stairs looking criminally good in a leather jacket. 

“Fenrys is for what?” 

“Nothing,” Aelin said, the same time Lysandra said “Aelin’s orgasms.” The blonde shot an incredulous look at her friend, putting the lid on the last box and moving it to sit by the stairs. “I’m going to kill you.” Rowan’s face looked indifferent, but there was something about the way his mouth tensed at the corners. 

“Why are you packing everything up?” Rowan took the box from Aelin and carried it up the stairs behind her. Once outside, her eyes shifted from the snow-capped mountains in the distance to Rowan’s face. She chewed on her bottom lip as he deposited the box into the back of a moving van. “You don’t want my help anymore?”

“No. I mean, yes, I do want your help. I was going to talk to you about it in the study.” Rowan’s fingers grazed the outside of her elbow and she turned to face him. “I think I need to go to Rifthold. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how often my family went to Rifthold. Sam went on weekend trips all the time and I always thought it was just to do with seeing his mother’s grave but now I’m not so sure.” Their breath mingled between them, hanging in the air and drifting away in little clouds. With his cheeks and nose flush from the cold, he looked younger somehow. 

“If you’re going to Rifthold, I -”

“I know you can’t help me from here. Not easily, but I thought -”

“Would you let me speak without interrupting?” He quipped, a brow arched. Aelin pressed her lips into a thin line, frustrated that he wouldn’t let her finish. She needed - “If you’re going to Rifthold… I’ll have to sort out some things first but I’m going with you. I respected your father too much to let you do that alone. It could be dangerous, and I wouldn’t ever forgive myself if something happened to you.” He said it so bluntly, like it was the obvious choice, that without thinking she threw her arms around his neck. Rowan seemed surprised at first, but after a moment his hands braced against her back. When they finally separated, she looped her elbow through his and nodded toward the house. 

“Let’s go sift through the study.”

~*~

Fenrys was lounging on her bed in the manor while she dug through the formal gowns in her closet. It had been a week since Rowan agreed to go to Rifthold. Ever since, getting there and sorting out what her parents had been so hell bent on uncovering was her top priority. It seemed, based on all the research in the bunker, that her parents thought it had something to do with magic. Doing so would require going to some parties to mingle with the Royal family, so she was neck deep in her most expensive gowns at the moment.

She wouldn’t be going to Rifthold as Aelin Galathynius, it had been decided. It was too risky if her family had genuinely been murdered. If she was found in Rifthold she could meet a similar fate and she wasn’t too keen on that happening before she figured out what was going on. She hadn’t seen any of the royals since she was thirteen, and she liked to think she looked quite a bit different as a mature, young woman. She also planned to dye her hair when she got there, making her even more unrecognizable. 

“This one?” She stepped back out into her rooms, holding a black velvet dress to her body. After a moment, she turned it to show him the back and Fenrys gave her a low whistle. 

“Whitethorn would lose his mind if he saw you in that,” he said, shaking his head. Aelin paused and looked over her shoulder at him. 

“What?” 

“What?” He repeated, brows raised.

“Why would -”

“I mean, I certainly would. Why wouldn’t he?” The grin on his lips was sheepish and his eyes dropped to look at the cream sheets he lay on. Soon, all the gowns would be packed up and hung in the back of the moving van, all ready to go for Rifthold. With narrowed eyes, Aelin walked over to Fen and plopped onto the mattress beside him, wiggling to tug the nightgown she’d been wearing when he showed up down her thighs. 

“Are you nervous?” Fenrys’ weight shifted and she turned her head to look at him properly. He was rubbing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.

“I’m tired is what I am,” she sighed. It was the truth. Mentally, emotionally, physically, the girl was completely wiped. Sleep didn’t come as easy as it used to. Lately, her nightmares of the accident had started back up again. Not to mention the nightmares she had of her parents being murdered right before her eyes. Dreams of Sam pulling her onto a dance floor, wedding dress swirling around her feet only for blood to start oozing from his chest. Yes, she was very tired. Perhaps the most tired she’d ever been in her life. 

So when he made the offer to wear her out so she could sleep like a rock that night, she let him roll on top of her and claim her mouth with his own. 

~*~

Life was changing at a rapid pace. She had been stagnant for two years, letting herself waste away. Now, she had a purpose, a reason to wake up and keep living the life that she had been given a second chance for. 

Her heart was fluttering in her chest viciously as Rowan and Aedion closed up the door of the trailer. Aedion and Lysandra were supposed to be moving her down to Rifthold, but some things had come up at the company that Aedion flat out couldn’t get out of. It ended up okay because Rowan didn’t work this weekend and offered to drive her down himself after recruiting Fenrys and another cadre member, Lorcan, into helping. Aelin was still unclear just on what role Rowan and Lorcan seemed to play in her father's arsenal. Though she could assume they were the brute force of the bunch just by looking at them. 

“I’ll be down next week, so if you need anything from home let me know.” Aedion said, reaching out to brush her hair behind her ear. He looked like a nervous wreck and part of Aelin understood the feeling. After his mom died he had moved in with them, and they’d not been separated since. Even when he was mad at her, they saw each other usually twice a week. They had always lived in Orynth together, never too far apart, and now she was moving five hours away. Aedion was a protector, and she knew it drove him mad that he wouldn’t be around the corner at any given moment if she needed him. But she also needed him here, taking care of the company because for all their secrets, they loved their work. Aelin needed her cousin running the business, keeping everything normal and even though he hated being away from her he would do it. So when he pulled her into a bone crushing hug, she let him and squeezed just as hard back. 

“I love you so much,” she whispered into his shoulder, and with a kiss to her head he returned the sentiments. Aelin moved to Lysandra then and hugged her just as tight as she tried not to cry. The last few years had been rocky because of her issues, but Lysandra was still her best friend.

“Phone call away. That’s all I am,” Lys said. “And we’ll come down as often as we can, hell I’ll come down even when he can’t.” She pressed a kiss to Aelin’s cheek and she stepped back and appraised the last of her family. 

Rowan’s hand fell to her lower back and she knew it was time, so she headed over to the passenger side of the van and climbed in. Lorcan and Fenrys were packed into Aelin’s car ahead of them, already looking ready to kill each other. It brought some sort of joy, enough to make her laugh despite the steady stream of tears falling down her cheeks. 

Aedion and Lysandra waved until the gates swung closed behind the van and she couldn’t see them anymore. 

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[cinaja]

Before the Wall part 30

Masterlist

Warning: There is a bit more violence (tw mentions of torture and death) towards the end, but nothing too explicit. Still, if you want to skip it, you'll notice well in advance where it starts.

----

Just like for their first meeting, it is Jurian who suggests the meeting place. Standing in the stable, he only allows himself a moment to prepare for what`s about to come. He leans his face against his horse`s flank and runs a hand through its mane. In his head, he counts to one hundred. Then, he climbs into the saddle.

Tia stops him as he rides out of the stable. “Where are you going?”

“For a ride.”

It really is a good thing that Miryam isn`t here. She would never have bought that lie. But even though Tia knows him longer – they both joined the rebellion at a similar time, when he was thirteen and she twenty – reading people isn`t one of her talents. Still, Tia seems doubtful.

“For a ride?”, she echoes. “That sounds like an extremely easy way to get ambushed and die.”

Jurian can hardly tell her that the chances of him getting ambushed are low, since he is already meeting an enemy commander. Tia would be more likely to tie him to a chair than allow him to go meet Clythia. But he needs the information she might have.

“They are free to try and ambush me”, he says with a wink, “They`ll see what it gets them.”

Tia rolls her eyes and mutters something about how she`ll write that on his tombstone. Jurian laughs and gently presses his heels into his horse`s flank, sending it into a gallop.

This time, he didn`t try to delay the meeting and he arrives before Clythia. He ties his stallion to a tree and gently strokes its nose as he waits. Not even five minutes pass until a faint pop sounds behind him.

“Hello”, Jurian says without turning around.

His heartbeat quickens and he tries to breathe as regularly as he can. Fae can smell strong emotions, and if he wants to get anywhere with this, she can`t notice his fear and disgust.

“You actually came”, she says from behind him.

“I said I would, didn`t I?”

It is probably not the most flirty reply. But Jurian has decided that he doesn`t have the biggest talent with words, so he might as well give up the attempts. Besides, the more he tries to play games with Clythia, the more he feels like throwing up.

Clythia steps around him and leans against a tree facing him. Jurian continues stroking his horse.

“I wasn`t sure. You never replied to me letters.”

Jurian doesn`t give a reply, mostly because he doesn`t have one. The truth hardly seems helpful to his goal of getting information out of her.

“If I went too fast last time”, Clythia says, “I apologize. I thought you might prefer going quickly.”

“It`s just all very confusing”, Jurian says. It`s the most neutral comment he can think of.

Clythia nods quickly, looking relieved. “I can imagine! For me, with my visions, it`s like we already know each other.” She shrugs. “I sometimes forget that it`s not the same for you.”

A perfect opening. Jurian pretends to consider, then nods. “What are they like? Your visions, I mean. Can you really see the future?”

She nods. “It just isn`t always as clear as I`d like. Some things are veiled, others change with time.” She smiles at him. “I`ve seen what would happen between us for years, though.”

“But other things can change?”, Jurian asks.

Clythia nods. Good. That means her idea that they are sure to end up together doesn`t have to become true.

“There are a few things that more or less stay the same no matter what, though.” Clythia laughs brightly. “Almost like it`s written in the stars.”

“Really?”, Jurian prompts. Now, this is interesting.

“Yes. For example, I`ve always known that I`ll die before Mara.”

It takes Jurian a heartbeat to realize that Mara is her name for Amarantha. Then, he has to keep from smiling. The words seem like a confirmation for his plan.

“Or take that friend of yours. The witch”, Clythia says. It seems that she has chosen to ignore the fact that Miryam isn`t just a friend. “She`s another one of those constants.”

She might as well have dumped a bucket of ice water over his head. “What about her?”

“She doesn`t survive the war.”

Jurian stares at her. It takes a moment for the words to register, for him to truly realize what it is that Clythia just told him. When he finally understands, it is all he can do not to gasp. No. No, this isn`t possible. It can`t be.

Clythia merrily breezes on, like she didn`t just completely upturn his world in a single sentence. “It`s what I keep telling Ravenia. No need to worry about the girl. She`ll die anyways. But does she listen? Of course not.” She winks at him like this is some kind of shared joke. “Ravenia doesn`t much like seers, you know.”

No, Jurian doesn`t. His mind is still caught up on the fact that Clythia just casually revealed that Miryam will die. That it`s written in the stars, nothing to be done about it.

“Besides, I think Ravenia takes it personally”, Clythia continues, “I mean, I can`t blame her. I know how I would feel if one of my slaves ran away and decided to go to war with me.” She laughs. “Imagine the audacity!”

The only thing Jurian can imagine right now is drawing his dagger and killing her. He takes a deep, calming breath and tries to focus on why he is here. He looks around, trying to find a way to distract himself and settles on a bag lying next to Clythia.

“You brought breakfast?”, he asks.

Clythia blinks, obviously surprised by the sudden change in subject. “Yes”, she says, “Sure. Do you want to eat?”

Jurian nods. His stomach is churning, but eating will give him something physical to focus on. And then, he`ll just need to get some information out of Clythia, and all this will end.

----

They fly for most of the night. By the time they land in the early hours of the morning, Miryam`s entire body is stiff and in spite of the thick cloak, she feels like she is half-frozen. She slowly walks a few steps up and down, trying to get feeling back into her legs. Unfairly enough, Drakon doesn`t seem bothered at all by the long flight. He is already laughing with one of his captains. Around them, the other soldiers land and fall into rank.

Miryam uses the time where nobody pays much attention to her to look around. They landed in the mud on the edge of a camp that`s much smaller than their own, but well-organised. Pitch-black tents stand arranged in neat lines, surrounded by defence systems. A night court banner flies over the highest tent.

Wonderful. At least the soldiers don`t seem to be Illyrians, which will hopefully spare her any freak-outs over her being a witch. Unfortunately, Night Court High Fae are, in her experience, far harder to deal with than any others.

She steps closer to Drakon. “You`ll have high command over the battle, right?” He nods.

“Then let`s go introduce ourselves”, she says.

Finding the person in charge of the camp turns out to be quite a challenge. The soldiers at the entrance let them through without putting up a fight, but none of them seem interested in helping them any further. Miryam and Drakon both ask after the camp`s commander, but the soldiers just stare at them.

Finally, Drakon picks a Fae male standing at the front. “You”, he says, “Take us to your commander, if you`d be so kind.”

The male shrugs and turns without a word. Miryam exchanges a look with Drakon, who looks torn between disbelief and annoyance as they follow the soldier. On their walk through the camp, Miryam can`t help but notice that she is the only woman around.

She really can`t stand the Night Court.

“There”, the soldier finally says and jerks her chin towards a big, black tent at the edge of the camp. It doesn`t look like a command tent.

“What is in there?”, Miryam asks, but the soldier has already disappeared back into the crowd.

Drakon gives her a bewildered look, shaking his head softly. “What was that?”

“Prythian”, she replies with a grin. “They aren`t big on politeness.”

With that, she walks towards the tent. Two guards stand in front of the entrance, but they don`t stop Miryam and Drakon as they enter the tent.

As soon as Miryam pushes aside the entrance, she realizes that she made a mistake. She spins around to Drakon to tell him to stay outside, but it`s already too late. Next to her, Drakon has frozen in the entrance. Then, before Miryam can do anything, he takes a stumbling step backwards, spins around and rushes out of the room.

Miryam desperately wants to run after him, but instead, she forces herself to turn around to the slender male who is standing in the tent, sneering at her.

“Keir.”

She does her best to focus only on him and ignore the six people hanging by their wrists behind him. All of them are covered in so much blood that Miryam has a hard time making out facial features.

“I asked for reinforcement”, Keir says, shaking his head. “The Alliance sends children.”

Miryam ignores the jab and nods towards the six people behind Keir. One of them groans softly. “Are these people your source?”

“Captured enemy soldiers. Sang like birds after an hour or so.”

“You got your information on the movement of Amarantha`s army through torture?” Miryam shakes her head. “But you realize that it is possible for people to lie, right? Torture doesn`t stop that.”

Keir waves her off like she`s no more than an annoying insect. “Believe me, these people would tell me anything to make it stop.”

“That`s exactly what I`m worried about”, Miryam shoots back.

Keir completely ignores her comment and turns to one of the prisoners. “You want to tell the girl what you told me?” As if to emphasize, he takes a small, bloody knife from a table.

“Stop this”, Miryam says sharply, “You will not continue torturing these people. Have them brought to a healer and then have them locked up.”

“No”, Keir says thoughtfully and moves his knife closer to the prisoner, who whimpers. “I don`t think I will.”

He angles his knife, aiming for the prisoner`s face. Miryam steps forward and grabs him by the wrist.

“I wasn`t asking”, she says.

Slowly, Keir drags his brown eyes over to her. Then, he looks at her hand on his wrist.

“How would you like it”, he asks, “if I made it public that your little friend can`t stand to see a little bit of blood without freaking out? Not a good trait for a military commander, is it?”

Fury crashes into Miryam like a wave and sends her magic spinning. She digs her fingernails into her palm and replies, “How would you like it if I had you stripped of your command for refusing orders from a superior?”

Keir slowly lifts his eyebrows. “Not quite as nice as your reputation, are you?”

“I make an exception for people who sell their underage daughter to marriage and then torture her for refusing.” She gives Keir a hard glare. “I`m not the child you met in your Hewn City anymore. If you think you can refuse my orders, or Drakon`s, and get away with it, then you`d better think again, because I won`t hesitate to end your career over this. Are we clear?”

Keir`s eyes are positively burning. But slowly, precisely, he nods. Miryam lets go of his arm.

“Good. Then I want you to have these prisoners locked up in a proper cell and have a healer see to them. Afterwards, you`ll get your army ready and make it clear to them that it is Drakon who has high command over this mission, not you.” Without waiting for a reply, Miryam turns around to leave the tent. In the entrance, she pauses. “And you`d better hope that information you tortured out of your prisoners is correct. Otherwise, I`ll make sure that it`s your head on the line.”

With that, she goes looking for Drakon.

He isn`t with his soldiers. There, she only finds Drakon`s captains, who ask what is going to happen now. Miryam tells them that they just need to wait for the Darkbringer army to get ready. She tries not to slip through that she unfortunately has no idea where their Prince vanished off to. His personal guards look worried.

Since Drakon usually tries to avoid crowds and closed spaces, she decides to walk a circle around the camp and see if she can find him that way. In the light forest, Miryam can`t see very far. She doesn`t dare to shout – after all, there might be guards and the last thing she needs right now is a run-in with a bunch of Night Court guards.

She is almost ready to give up her search and make up an excuse for why Drakon had to leave at a sudden notice when she basically runs into him. He is sitting on a fallen tree by a river, drums a quick rhythm on the wood next to him and stares into the water.

Miryam sits down next to him. Asking if he`s alright seems stupid, so she just remains silent. Drakon keeps drumming his rhythm, fingers dancing too quickly for her to follow the movements.

“So that was Mor`s father”, he finally says without looking away from the river.

“Pleasant, isn`t he?”

Drakon nods. They are silent again for a while. Then, he says, “I still have a battle to lead, don`t I?”

“If you`re up to it.”

She isn`t yet sure what she`s going to do if he decides that he isn`t up to it. She`ll probably have to hand over command to Keir, since there`s no way that she will be able to take the lead. And she`ll have to come up with an explanation for why Drakon is indisposed. Maybe some emergency in Erithia?

“I`ll manage”, Drakon says.

Miryam still hesitates. I wish I could give you a break from all this. But this is war, and they have no time left to squander.

“Then let`s go.”

Maybe when they are back in camp, they will find the time to do something nice together for once. They could arrange another party – music, dancing, more food for everyone. Everyone, from soldiers to commanders, could use a bit of happiness.

They walk through the forest in silence. Fortunately, Drakon`s soldiers like him and are polite enough to ignore the fact that he just vanished. Keir, who has assembled his soldiers by now, sneers at him, though. Miryam gives him a sharp glance and then turns her attention back to Drakon, who orders his soldiers to get moving.

Their sources – also known as enemy soldiers who were tortured for information – claim that Amarantha will march her army west. On the way, she will need to cross a ravine. Drakon discussed the situation with his generals and they decided to plan an ambush at the only bridge in an one-hundred-mile-radius. There, they lay in wait hidden between the trees.

They wait. And wait.

Miryam looks up at the sky. It has been at least three hours now.

“Didn`t you say they`d be here before midday?”, she asks Keir, who is unfortunately sitting with her and Drakon.

“It`s not midday yet, is it?” Keir brushes some dust off his black clothes. Miryam wonders if anyone ever told him that it is a bit over-the-top for Night Court soldiers called Darkbringer so wear all black. “What even is your role here?”

“I`m back-up”, she says. And she really hopes she won`t be needed today.

They sit around some more. Drakon leans against a tree and drums a complicated rhythm on the bark. Keir silently glares at him and Miryam stares up at the sky. Slowly, the sun creeps over the sky.

It has long passed its highest point when Miryam breaks the silence. “They should be here by now.”

This time, Keir doesn`t object.

“I`ll see if I can find anything”, she says.

Unfortunately, she hasn`t brought Kiel, but she finds a hawk in a tree somewhere above them. Miryam easily slips into its body and has it circling above the forest. After ten rounds, she gives up and slips back into her body.

“There is no sign of an army”, she says with a pointed look at Keir, who is smart enough to look worried. “Not within miles.”

“But they have to be somewhere”, Drakon says, “So if they aren`t here, where are they?”

They look at each other. Miryam sees the understanding dawning on Drakon`s face the same moment she realizes their mistake.

“Shit”, Drakon whispers.

“We need to get back to our camp”, Miryam says, “Now.” Even though a small voice in her head whispers that they are likely already too late.

----

Jurian sits with his back against a tree and watches Clythia brush a few crumbs of cake off her clothes. She brought cake for breakfast. That, and all kinds of other expensive food, most of which Jurian has never seen in his life.

He looks up at the sky. It`s past midday now, which means that the trap Miryam and Drakon laid for Amarantha has likely already been sprung. Maybe the battle is already decided. And maybe, and unbidden voice in his head whispers, they lost and are both dead by now. And if not in this battle, then in another. Jurian pushes the thought away.

“You are close, aren`t you?”, he asks, going back to their conversation, “You and your sister.”

“Very. She practically raised me.” She starts playing around with her hair. “Our parents died when I was still young.”

Normally, Jurian would have sympathized with her for this. He also lost his parents early – his mother died in childbed when he was four, his father five years later from a cold. He basically grew up with the rebellion. But this is Clythia he`s talking to, so instead of pity, he feels disgust. He can see her as a slave-owning monster. But if that monster loves her sister and lost her parents, that makes it worse. A monster is monstrous by nature, but a person has a choice – and if Clythia chose to be the way she is, that makes it all the more horrifying.

“And how did you end up in charge of an army?”

“Oh, Mara figured the best way to get power in this world was the military, so I kind of just tagged along. The King would have preferred to have me in court, but that life wasn`t for me. Besides, Mara and I don`t do well apart.”

Jurian nods and tries hard to look like he cares. In truth, he is annoyed. He was meant to get information, damnit, yet here he is, chatting with an enemy commander and having gained exactly nothing. In retrospect, his plan to use Clythia for information doesn`t seem as smart anymore.

Oblivious as always, Clythia continues chatting. “Besides, the military is fun, don`t you think?”

Jurian gives a non-committal shrug. No, he doesn`t think the military is fun. What is wrong with her?

“Well, most times”, Clythia continues, “Lately, they had Mara and me training new recruits. The training camp it just horrible. It always rains there – it`s by the coast, you know, in one of Hybern`s wettest areas. Whoever decided to have it built there should be hung.”

Jurian blinks at her. There is no way she is actually this stupid. She did not just give him a major hint on where to find their secret training camp.

“And these recruits.” Clythia rolls her eyes. “You cannot believe how incompetent they are! They can`t even shoot straight.”

But even they probably wouldn`t be stupid enough to tell an enemy commander about the position of one of their secret camps. “It takes some time to get them properly trained.”

Clythia nods and stifles a yawn.

“Tired?”, Jurian asks.

She nods. “We spent most of the night marching south.”

A cold feeling settles into Jurian`s stomach. Most of the night. South. Amarantha`s army was not supposed to be marching all night, or south. They should have spent the night at some camp over a hundred miles west from here, and then set off to march east in the morning. If they were on the march all night and in the wrong direction, the trap Miryam and Drakon set failed. And if they aren`t marching east like their reports claimed, then where is it they are going?

The answer hits Jurian like a punch to the gut. South. He jumps to his feet.

Clythia`s eyes widen. “Don`t”, she says and thereby confirms his worst fears, “Amarantha promised you`d be fine, but only if you aren`t there.”

Jurian doesn`t listen to her. He races for his horse. The stallion seems to sense his unease, he throws up his head and whines. Jurian jumps into the saddle. He nudges his horse in the side and sends it into a sprint, back towards his camp.

He smells the smoke one mile off already and knows that he is too late. But nothing could have prepared him for what he sees when he reaches the camp.

He wasn`t just too late by minutes but hours. His camp lies in cinders, most of the fires have already burned out, only a few embers still glow faintly. All that`s left of his camp is ashes. Ashes and the corpses of his soldiers. So many corpses lying everywhere.

In a daze, Jurian dismounts. Slowly, he walks through the camp. Stares at the dead humans all around him.

This is a nightmare. It has to be. Any moment now, he`ll wake up, drenched in sweat and screaming. This can`t be real. It can`t.

But he doesn`t wake up. He just keeps walking, staring at the dead soldiers lying on the ground where they were killed. Some of them barely show any injuries at all, others are so mutilated that they are barely recognizable.

Jurian knows most of the dead. They are the soldiers he sat with at the fire in the evening. Soldiers he comforted when they sat shaking after battles. Soldiers he trained. He knows their faces, their names, their stories. All dead now. Gone.

Jurian keeps walking, stumbling through the ashes. He only stops when he reaches the centre of the camp.

Huge stakes have been rammed into the ground in a perfect circle where the centre of the camp should have been. And on them… The bodies that hand on the stakes are so mutilated that they are little more than slabs of meat. Jurian stumbles backwards until he is standing in the centre of the circle. He recognizes Tia first. Then the others – his captains and commanders, the friends.

A sob escapes his chest. His legs give out from under him and he drops to his knees into the ashes. There is a low noise, like that of a dying animal, and it takes him a moment to realize that it`s coming from him. It seems that his body already understood the truth his mind is still straining against: This is truly happening.

Time stops moving. Jurian isn`t sure if he`s breathing. His mind appears frozen.

He doesn`t know how long he`s been kneeling on the ground when someone says his name from behind him. Instincts have him jumping to his feet and whirling around.

Drakon, with his ornate uniform and his snow-white white wings looks so out of place between all the death that Jurian just stares at him stupidly for a few heartbeats. It doesn`t make sense that he is here, he doesn`t fit the picture at all.

Drakon takes a step towards him. “Thank the Cauldron, you`re alive. We thought –“

Jurian shoves Drakon backward hard enough to make him stumble. “Where were you?” Drakon lifts his hands like he`s trying to get him to calm down.

“You should have been here!”, Jurian shouts.

He lifts his hands to shove him again, but someone catches his arm.

“Jurian, stop!”, Miryam tells him firmly.

But he can`t stop. He keeps struggling, flailing wildly around. Miryam catches his other arm as well and holds on. No matter how much Jurian struggles against her, she is stronger.

“Jurian.”

He keeps struggling.

“Jurian, stop.”

Jurian stops moving. He looks from Miryam, who still has him grabbed by the wrists, to Drakon, who stands a few steps back and looks like he`s one second away from bolting.

All strength leaves Jurian. He sags against Miryam, who lets him glide to the ground. Suddenly, he is sobbing into her shirt. His body is shaking so hard that he thinks he might fall apart. Miryam whispers something to him and gently rubs his back, but her words don`t register.

“It`s my fault”, he manages to get out between sobs.

He is sure that Miryam objects, but he doesn`t feel inclined to listen. He knows it`s his fault. It was him who insisted Miryam go with Drakon. Maybe if she`d been here, things would have ended differently. And he – he flirted around with an enemy commander while her sister slaughtered his soldiers. If he hadn`t been so stupidly focused on Clythia, he would surely have seen the trap well before it sprung. If it wasn`t for Clythia, none of this would have happened.

Anger shoots through Jurian like a glowing-hot knife. It is even enough to get him to stop crying. He lifts his head.

Miryam is kneeling before him. Her dark eyes are full of concern, but her face is guarded in a way that usually means she doesn`t want anyone to catch her real feelings.

“It wasn`t my fault”, Jurian whispers, voice hoarse, “It was theirs. Amarantha and Clythia.”

With shaking fingers, he fumbles for the knife at his belt and draws it. Miryam frowns slightly, but before she can grab for his hand again, Jurian draws the blade over his palm. She winces.

“I`m going to destroy her”, he whispers and watches his blood drip into the ash-stained ground. “I`m going to destroy both of them. I won`t stop until they are both dead.” He looks around the circle of his dead soldiers and feels a fire flicker to life inside him. “I swear it.”

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Tags: @croissantcitysucks @sjm-things