#rejected jokes

[did-i-mention-the-shirt]

Important!

Ben Schwartz fans!! There is a project called @fandomsforpalestine . It works like this:

You'll commission an artist through the linked page to write/draw/edit/create a fanwork for you. All the proceeds will go towards a charity to help children in Palestine.

I'm writing fanfiction for Ben Schwartz media !

If he's been in it, I've probably seen it.

(I write mainly reader insert but I can do Gen or char x char)

More info:

My page:

Please share! <3

[benschwartzcinematicuniverse]

Guess what day it is?

Happy birthday @rejectedjokes!!

Some of our discord friends put together a beautiful card for papa Schwartz. Everyone please click through these and enjoy. As always, if you want to celebrate this lovely human together, hmu for the discord link!

[shinigami-striker]

[Sonic 3 Movie] Schwartz's Back! | Wednesday, 03.20.24

It's been a month since Ben Schwartz announced on X (Twitter) that's already begun his own recordings for the upcoming Sonic 3 movie releasing on December 20, 2024.

[pirateprincessjess]

When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.

[messrsbyler]

you. yes you, person with rejection sensitive dysphoria. this message is for you. your friends DON'T hate you. they aren't mad at you. they aren't talking behind your back or wished to cut their friendship with you. they love you and treasure you and they are good people who wouldn't hurt you like that! ok, that's all. have a nice day.

[edorazzi]

Page 41 of my Miraculous Mentor AU comic A Matter of Trust! In which Felix is offered everything, and it's time to make a choice... 🔮💣

Index | Start | Prev | Next (coming soon!)

Weekly updates each Sunday! You can also read ahead early on Patreon, and/or buy me a Ko-fi if you'd like to support my work! 💖

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Average Drama Enjoyer observes some peak drama.

[transmasccofee]

the subway rats poem is teruhashi coded

[fujunfuren]

There was a time when we slept together on a single bed. How did we even sleep on that bed? We cuddled.

QUEEN OF TEARS (2024)

[heretherebedork]

How the last episode went and why this show is gonna destroy me. It's watching Joke go from so brave and trying so hard to so crushed he can't even stay when all he wants is to be at that dining table with Jack... but he can't keep coming to a dining table that doesn't care about him. He can't eat in the shadow of other people's dreams any more. He can't do that to himself again.

It's how Joke finds himself failing everyone he loves and stops trying again, pulling back, giving in to the same hopelessness he knew before but this time even deeper, deeper because his father was never proud of him but for a split second he thought Jack might be.

[did-i-mention-the-shirt]

DOCTOR SCHWARTZ OML SCREAMING

[benschwartzcinematicuniverse]

The London show poster for Ben’s tour is so rad!

Who can sketch Ben as The Doctor for me (but actually for science)?

Also the artist is Dave Kloc and his work is great. Follow the source link!

If you’re an artist and you have Schwartz related art, let me know! I’d love to share it here and applaud you :)

[cammy-mcspammy]

ahhh, are you still taking requests? if so, I've seen your saiki art... I'd like to see kuboyasu in your art style :) (saw the little doodle in the terusai comic, so cute!)

Omg sure!! I've never drawn him before so I kind of struggled with it

So take this, and an upcoming comic of him being silly 💜💜

[syn0vial]

regrettably, neither is them being even a little bit ironic

[onesidedradiostatic]

Question! At the end of stayed gone, Vox is looking at his screens…in fear? Despair ? He kinda has the same facial expression when Al calls him on the watch. What’s going on with that? Is he just afraid of Al?

I mean. yeah? I mean it's probably a lot of emotions combined but I do think he's also fucking terrified LMAO. this would've been the first face-to-face communication he had with alastor in 7 years, and it was unexpected for him. he intended to spy on him SECRETLY through pentious only for the man HIMSELF to pick it up. like bro anyone would have a heart attack at that.

obsessed with this btw. but like yeah this was like so terrifying for him the moment he realised alastor was attending the overlord meeting the next episode, he called up velvette to take his place, he could NOT bring himself to see alastor face to face after that. in general I mean, he CLEARLY has a lot of strong feelings about alastor because of their history and considering how it's been 7 years with ZERO contact, shit's gonna be awkward and scary, and so vox can't bring himself to face alastor in person, only behind screens.

I feel like it's a bigger question why rather than asking if he is afraid. although we could probably pretty easily guess, I mean we SAW how alastor EASILY trampled on him during stayed gone. so coupled with the fact that the very guy he was trying to secretly spy on picked up the communication watch of his spy, he's also just scared of how easily alastor challenges his power. he's spent 7 years not having to be worried about being challenged by him and now he's suddenly back and he's unprepared. and also

"I totally wrecked his shit last time he tried me." yeah you know when someone says "totally" the following things they say are like 90% of the time going to be untrue. he's absolutely losing his goddamn mind in stayed gone. he was all talk about the new status quo and being in charge but in reality, he's SCARED about what the fuck alastor could do to damage the power he's built up in the past 7 years where he took advantage of his absence. and then those fears were proven right as alastor easily pulled his audience and completely trampled vox at the end of stayed gone. stayed gone on vox's part feels more like he's trying to convince himself he's in control and has nothing to worry about. but clearly he does.

[s0fter-sin]

supernatural au where ghost is a flesh eating ghoul and soap is painfully human

in the middle of las almas, soaked in rain and blood that feels a little too close to soaked earth, soap asks - begs - ghost if he'll eat him if he dies here. ghost has to swallow the urge to promise that he will; that he'll savour him, let his body and his memory keep him warm and full as he mourns

not a drop would go to waste

and soap... soap needs to know that he won't be left in this place reeking of death and betrayal. the thought that he could fall in one of these back alleys and be left to rot and bloat, his ribs eventually cracking open and exposing his soft insides to the mexican heat fills him with a unique dread

he needs to know he'll be brought home

but scotland hasn't been home in a long time. england never came close; the various concrete bases he’s shuffled between no better than the blending walls of hotel rooms to his teenage eyes

ghost wouldn't drop him off at the nearest morgue to be planted a field with a cookie cutter headstone to be forgotten. he would consume him; piece by piece, bite by bite. it would probably take hours - days maybe - of slow, devoted feasting

but ghost is nothing if not persevering

ghost would give him a home and a duty to fulfil, even in death. he would make it so his body served a purpose just as he's served all his life

served his parents. served god. served the military. poor, aimless soap- always longing for a reason, a higher calling

what higher a calling is there than feeding a starved man?