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miabebe · 2 months ago

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Camp Seventeen: Chapter 1

Pairing - Afab!reader x ot13 (Reader x Seungcheol, Reader x Soonyoung for this Ch)

Word count - 13K

Genre - Greek Demigod AU! We’ve got crack, smut (tags for the chapter are under the cut), fluff , angst, hurt, comfort, all of it in this series, buckle up!

Chapter summary - It's been a week since you stepped foot in Camp Seventeen - as you navigated the days trying to wrap your head around the 13 boys, one's touch and another's voice start to become a bit too bothersome....

A/n - And the series has finally kickstarted! Please read the prologue before this! Big thanks to @okiedokrie and @c-oupsie for helping beta read this, y'all are the sweetest <3

I do have a taglist so comment on this post to be added! And if you enjoyed reading, please don't forget to leave feedback in the comments or tags - we've got lots of chapters to go and hearing thoughts really helps <3

Smut warnings - mutual masturbation, fingering, use of a very questionable dildo, is this considered cheating? Idk it's all blur here, jerking off, cum feeding, cum eating and I hope that's all?

“Fucking hell.”

You mumbled, waking up the same way you had been for the last one week - startled and nearly jumping off your bed.

While most people began their days to the ringing of alarm clocks (or roosters if they preferred the countryside), you regularly woke up to the sound of Seungcheol’s eagle screeching in your ear.

Turning your head, you glanced at Zephyr perched on the window before it gave you a short nod of acknowledgement and flew off into the darkness. Yes darkness, because unlike most people, your day also began at 4 fucking am in the morning.

Groaning and stretching, you sat up, holding back the large yawn that was threatening to pull you back to sleep. If Zephyr was here to wake you up, that meant you were late yet again and you hated that - you had done too many walks of shame to the training field and were in no mood to be conspicuously stared at by 13 boys as you stumbled over, carrying all your gear.

Knowing you didn’t have enough time to drop by the washroom, you popped a mint and sprayed some deodorant before quickly grabbing your things and running out into the darkness.

The sun was just starting to peek from between the mountains as the House Of Zeus became smaller and smaller behind you. Although you had a long list of concerns living with Seungcheol, an unbeatable advantage was how close his residence was to the training grounds. Still, you could somehow never manage to be punctual. By the time you reached, you were 15 minutes late and Seokmin had already begun the morning drills.

“Two laps around the field newbie.” He muttered as you walked past him, habituated to receiving the same punishment everyday.

While you begrudgingly jogged around the perimeter of the grounds, your mind wandered to everything and nothing that happened over the past few days.

Life at camp so far had been…. strange.

You would be lying if you said you were already accustomed to life here. You most certainly were not. And forget a week, not even a year could prepare you for what living in the wild was like.

To begin with, there was no electricity here. That’s right, no lights, no air conditioning, no Internet, nothing.

Member’s began their days at sunrise and ended it as sunset - after all nothing much could be done in the dim illuminance of the fire torches scattered all around the base. So of course for you, who functioned best from 1 to 3am, this archaic way of life was highly inconvenient.

The only place that had even a trace of something technologically advanced was the Great Hall - some of the more brainy boys had managed to set up a small circuit for kitchen appliances, laundry machines, a small charging station and that was about it. Rumor was that Wonwoo's residence had its own circuit too, but no one could really confirm that intel - it was as though none of them had ever ventured into the House of Hades.

And as though the lack of scientific inventions was not enough, showers…..were communal. Apparently it made more sense that water lines were directed to one common bath house rather than to each individual house. For them it was definitely more convenient to have the baths, jacuzzi and sauna all in one place, but for you that meant waiting everyday after training for the whole lot of them to be done washing up before you could do the same, with some privacy.

Oh and speaking of privacy, in the last week you spent here, you had come to realize that in this all-boys-greek-mythology world, it was privacy that was the real myth. Obviously after years of living together the boys were close but sometimes, they were perhaps a tad bit too close - like the time you had walked in on Mingyu and Seokmin boxing in just their underwear or when Soonyoung and Seungkwan sat right next to you, loudly comparing their dick sizes. You usually drew the line at phallic discussions.

The one place on camp that perhaps gave you some alone time and space away from the mess that the boys were, was the library. Considering you had shifted the last year of your University to an online study, you had a shit ton of assignments to complete and that was the only place you were able to get anything done at all. It was like the boys didn’t even know the study building existed - no one cared enough to go there so yeah, maybe occasionally, you also allowed yourself to let down your hair, sing in your horribly off pitch voice and dance to beats from your walkman. Outside those four walls it was impossible for you to feel even a little peace and quiet.

Surprisingly, not even the temple, which one would think would be a place of sanctity, was spared from the deviant actions of the boys. The altar was less a place of worship and more a place for bargains and exchange deals - it was the only way to connect to the gods, aka, the parents in Olympus.

You had come to learn that just like the human world, not all God parents loved their kids the same - some members were regularly showered with gifts and goods, others would not receive so much as a response. You found yourself falling in the second half. Your father never cared for you in the human world and apparently, neither did your mother.

Brushing off the thoughts of the woman you had thought was dead for the last 25 years, you wrapped up your punishment and joined the boys for morning exercises, ready to start yet another tiring day.

“All done!”

Joshua gave you a sweet smile as he stepped out of the bath house, rubbing the towel into his wet hair. Thanking him softly, you walked into the showers, stripped out of your clothes and turned on the hot water. The mud that Minghao had you rolling in today as part of combat training washed off as the heat worked to soothe your aching muscles. Lathering shampoo onto your scalp, you finally felt yourself relaxing, letting your favorite citrus smell take over your senses. Outside the bath house, you could hear Seungcheol raising his voice, instructing all the members to head for breakfast, loud footsteps following his words.

Choi Seungcheol….. Living with him so far had been frustrating.

When you first stepped into his residence, you told him that you’ve always lived alone so it might take you a while to adjust to living with someone and Seungcheol seemed to inwardly decide that giving you space was his life's purpose. After that, whenever you appeared before him, he politely greeted you and walked away. Whenever you stood as much as two feet near him he took a step back, like he didn't want to intrude on your personal space. Whenever you sat in his vicinity, he excused himself stating he'll give you some ‘me-time’.

You wish he knew how much you were in fact craving for the exact opposite - You wanted Choi Seungcheol. God you so badly wanted him.

It wasn't like you could just make a move on him because

1.Hell no you didn't want him or anyone in this camp to realise just how (as Jihoon called it) thirsty you were and

2. Seungcheol wasn’t just anybody, he was the leader. Members bowed to him when he walked by, even the companions, specially Patricia who listened to no one, obeyed him - anything and everything on this camp premises held him at the highest regard. You couldn't just walk up to such a man and tell him, “hey, you're hella hot and I'm hella attracted to you, I wish you would ravage me.”????

All you could hope was that Seungcheol somehow approached you on his own but that seemed questionable given the clear line he had drawn between the two of you.

The one person you wished would actually draw a line was the first one to always cross it - Yoon Jeonghan. You knew he and Seungcheol were the same age and that they were close but you didn't understand just how close they had to be for Athena's son to barge into the leaders residence whenever he wanted? Even at times you were changing your clothes or lying casually on the bed in your night dresses that barely covered anything.

The most infuriating part was Jeonghan did not ever apologize - he'd just laugh and walk away and you wanted to do nothing more than throw a shoe at him. For some reason he enjoyed getting on your nerves, he enjoyed making you angry and it wasn’t just you - in the last one week, it was evident that Jeonghan was a pain in everyone's ass but somehow they all adored him? You didn't get why they all seemed to love a man who always liked to pull their leg, never leaving any chance to fool them with his wit - you assumed they just preferred to be on his good side so all his harmless fun remained harmless.

Even Joshua, who was one of the sweetest people you knew, seemed to have a soft spot for Jeonghan.

When you asked him why he said before Jeonghan joined camp, Seungcheol was very uptight and ran the camp like a military barrack - it was the former’s pranks and carefree attitude that allowed members to be at ease. Though he was talking about Jeonghan, you knew what Joshua’s words truly reflected were his own good nature. He just seemed like the kind of guy who could do no wrong - like a pure, sweet soul. The days after you first arrived at camp it was Joshua who showed you around, guided you with everything and tried to make you feel at home. No one else really tried to get to know you as a person - they were all more interested about how and why you landed in their camp.

It also helped that Joshua was extremely pleasant on the eyes - at times when you didn’t want to feel overburdened by thoughts, you loved to sit next to him and watch him work on his little craft for the day or write that new novel of his. Yes he was good looking and yes when he smiled, you felt dazzled, but it was his sweet disposition that made you choose his company over the other members.

On the days he would go off to the city for some work, the next best place you found yourself was on Jun’s farm. Not that he was particularly nice to you or anything, Jun was…. quiet. He seemed to always do his thing, not bothering anyone, only speaking when required. When the evenings rolled around, you liked to take Natalie on a walk to visit the man she had a big fat crush on. Honestly though, who wouldn’t have a crush on someone like Jun - though he was the one working in the fields, it was you who was sweating, just watching him.

Although you did want to talk to him, try to get to know him a little bit, you chose not to - as someone who enjoyed the peace and quiet, you decided to let at least some member offer you that because guys like Soonyoung sure as hell could not.

Soonyoung was…….. A teenager stuck in a man’s body. Oh yeah he was hot as hell - just the nice build with muscles popping in all the right places. He knew how to dress better than most people on camp too - if you had seen him somewhere else, you would have thought he was one of those cool kids you always saw on campus.

But that image of him was destroyed the moment he sat on a Leopard and insisted it was a tiger. Over the last week, that was the predominant discussion between the two of you. That and his incessant flirting. Or rather, attempt to flirt. All he came across was cheesy, kinda humorous and loud. Extremely loud.

Wonwoo on the other hand was as silent as the night.

Most of the time you didn’t even know if and when he was around, it was like he was non-existent. The members too didn’t seem to bother much with what he did - you noticed he didn’t wash up with the others, often hitting the showers after you were done. He never came for any meals on time, he always stayed back, even after all the members dispersed for the day - he just seemed to function however he liked and no one questioned him. He never questioned you either - Not once did Wonwoo ever attempt to make conversation with you or even meet your eye. It was like he couldn’t care less and that wasn't very pleasant for you.

Someone who seemed to care a lot though, was Jihoon. Oh Jihoo was quiet too, but somehow he had his eyes on everything. Everything you did, everything you saw, even everything you felt seemed to find its way into Jihoon’s radar - he just knew. It terrified you that he was able to see right through you but the good thing about Jihoon was that he generally kept his mouth shut and wasn’t too keen on discussing his observations. Regardless, his presence made you feel extremely conscious and a part of you often tried to not be alone with him, lest he could read your mind or something.

As the last of the soap rinsed off you, you turned off the water and grabbed your towel, patting yourself down. Your body was sore and aching all over - Minghao said that was because you were not used to such combat routines and in a few months time you would get used to it but you weren’t really sure if you had it in you to tolerate all this for that long.

You also still had no idea what exactly these skills were needed for but from the conversations you overheard, it sounded like some sort of competition? That was both unlikely and terrifying cause who really competed with swords and spears anymore but if it was true, then what the actual hell??? Minghao said he didn’t want to scare you with the details just yet and would explain everything when the time came. For now, you were to focus on building your core strength and basic self defense, in case the camp is ever attacked…. Yes, cause that is less scary, way to make one feel better.

But that was the thing about Minghao - he did not have the habit of sugar coating things. He was honest with his feedback no matter how rude it sounded and though sometimes it did make you feel like shit, he also made sure to push you to do better. You knew if there was anyone you could approach for a real, unbiased opinion, it was him.

The same could not be said for Mingyu though - everything that came out of his mouth was saccharine sweet to the point it actually annoyed you. There was no doubt he was a nice guy - he was handsome, goofy, really good with his hands, really really good with his brain but the same didn’t extend to his mouth. His style of getting your attention was to ceaselessly seek validation and unfortunately for him, you weren’t really someone who was great with words of affirmation. When he was not trying so hard to please though, Mingyu was truly the biggest sweetheart with the fattest, most caring heart you had ever come across - the kind one wanted to wrap in bubble wrap and tuck away safely.

Seokmin too fell in the same category - the type who was so precious, it was hard to believe people like him even existed. The only reason you were able to survive these few weeks of training despite coming late was because Seokmin had your back every time Seungcheol wasn’t watching - allowing you to take breathers, overlooking the fact that you were doing less sets than you were supposed to, things of that sort. He was always sweet and calm, giving you soft smiles and sweet eye crinkles.

With his members though, Seokmin was a whole different person - he was unnaturally loud, extremely energetic and all over the place. The problem was, you didn’t know which of the two was the real him. You weren’t really sure why but something told you Seokmin wasn’t the man he seemed like and a strange curiosity coursed through you every time you interacted with him.

Seungkwan on the other hand was the exact opposite, he was exactly what he seemed like - always annoyed, unabashedly honest and unnecessarily snarky. In a way, you understood him - Seungkwan had the habit of taking on many things at once and keeping him unbelievably busy. In university, you too were like this - you took extra modules, signed up for multiple clubs, worked an internship alongside a couple of part time jobs and more. You liked to be occupied, to not allow yourself the room to think about what your life could have been otherwise. Maybe that’s why you saw yourself in Mr. Busy Boo - always roaming around with that bluetooth in his ear, attending some meeting or the other, frequently heading to the city to get work done - ‘rest’ was just not a word in his dictionary.

But even amidst all this business and even though his automated response was to snap back at people, he still managed to bond really well with the members despite having joined the camp only a few months before you had. It was like they all needed him to be their constant reality check.

The one who you thought required his presence more than anyone was Hansol. A man like him whose entire personality was avoidant needed someone like Seungkwan who would drag him into everything forcibly. Hansol wasn’t like Wonwoo, who was unbothered, couldn’t care less and pretended like you didn’t exist. Hansol was well aware of your presence and chose to actively avoid you every time - if you remembered right, there were even instances when he had practically run away from you. Something was just weird about that guy.

Perhaps the most normal of them all was Chan - actually he was just as loud and consistently blabbering much like some of the others but something about him made you feel very fond of him. Sure he was the same age as you but he felt like a child, always babied by his members, always grinning like a cheshire cat. And consequently, you too naturally babied him and Chan too enjoyed it - the two of you were perfectly content with your dynamic.

If only you got that same feeling with everyone else……

As you grabbed your things and stepped out of the bath house fully dressed, Wonwoo was standing outside with a towel slung on his shoulder, scrolling through his phone. Without so much as looking at you, he walked past you, into the shower room, loudly shutting the door behind him.

“Can you ever be on time?” Jeonghan sighed, handing you a plate of pancakes as you looked around realizing everyone was nearly done with breakfast. “It’s not my job to wait your table every morning.”

“Until you lot arrange for me to have my own shower,” You grabbed an apple, taking a bite into it as you sat at the extra long dining table. “I’m afraid this is exactly how late I will be everyday.”

“You know what they say sweetie,” Soonyoung whisked the apple from your hand, taking a bite of his own. “If you can’t beat the crowd, join the crowd.”

You looked at him exasperatedly, knowing that he was just talking out of his ass. Maybe if it was someone else you'd be offended but seeing his childlike face and full cheeks, you were only mildly amused.

“I'm more of the ‘don't join the crowd, let it follow you’ kinds.”

“Oh I'd follow you anywhere Y/n.” He sighed dreamily as you laughed, taking a bite out of your pancakes that were still too hot.

“How about you start following your own girlfriend instead Kwon?” Minghao walked around the kitchen island shooting Soonyoung an unimpressed look. “Rumour is that she was seen outside the Dreamboys Disco and we all know exactly what one goes there for.”

“She's not my girlfriend anymore.” Soonyoung muttered. “We broke up.”

“Weren't you just planning an anniversary trip two days ago?” Seokmin looked at him quizzically.

“Yeah then we argued over a location and she said it was better we broke up for a while.”

“This is what, your third breakup this month?”

“Fifth.” He whispered sadly in a way that made you want to pat his back. “Sixth actually, if you count the one that lasted for 3 hours.”

“I'll never understand these on again off again kind of relationships.” Seungkwan clicked his tongue, hurriedly grabbing a banana, balancing all the files in his hand. “The only thing it screams to me is disrespect.”

“Okay Mr. Seung-I-am-the-son-of-Hera-and-marriage-is-the-way-of-life-Kwan” Soonyoung rolled his eyes. “Not every traditional relationship is healthy, and not everything unconventional is toxic.”

“Yes, except yours is both unconventional and toxic.” Seungkwan scoffed, raising his hand before Soonyoung retaliated. “I can’t care enough right now, tiger boy, I’m already late. We can reschedule your relationship counseling session sometime later.”

“How about never?” Soonyoung grumbled as Seungkwan rushed off, attending a call on his bluetooth. “Who’s idea was it for him to join the camp again?”

“Mine.” Seungcheol slid onto the seat across you, raising an eyebrow. “Is there a problem?”

“Nope.” Soonyoung shook his head fast. “Absolutely not.”

Smirking just a little, Seungcheol turned to you, sliding a couple pieces of chicken breast off his plate onto yours. “You need to eat more Y/n, that little won’t last you through the day.”

“Same goes for you..” Jeonghan mumbled, placing a bottle of protein shake near Seungcheol who gave him a grateful smile. From the corner of your eye, you saw Jun increase the portion of chicken to buy on the huge shopping list scribbled on the white board.

If there was anything you absolutely loved about this camp, it was the brotherhood. No matter what each member was like individually, as a team, they loved and cared about each other immensely. You weren’t really sure if and when they could extend the same for you but having lived alone nearly all your life, a part of you craved to be one of them, to be cared for like that.

“I won’t be able to make it for the meeting tonight.” Wonwoo, as usual, strolled in much later than you and no one, as usual, had any complaints with that. In fact rather uncharacteristically nicely, Jeonghan handed him breakfast, shooting him a worried look.

“Why, what’s wrong?”

“I need to drop by the headquarters today.” He sighed, sitting a couple of seats away from you. “There’s an important official coming and apparently my presence is needed.”

“Will you be back by nightfall?” Seungcheol asked, looking concerned. You knew why he was worried - if Wonwoo wasn’t there on camp grounds at night that meant all the members had to take their places on the perimeter to guard overnight. Sleep was not an option that night.

“Yeah,” Wonwoo replied, not looking up. “I will just have to miss out on the meeting for the lawsuit.”

Right that meeting. The one you, Jeonghan and Wonwoo, had been trying to have for days now to sort out the biggest mess of your life.

“Shouldn’t be a problem, Nonu.” Mingyu patted his shoulder, shooting you a wink. “Y/n has other plans with me today anyways.”

You frowned confused as Mingyu clarified. “You were going to finalise your house plan so I could start construction, remember?”

Oh yeah, you had that too.

“Awesome, then I can go to the city today.” Jeonghan clapped cheerily, taking his apron off.

“You don’t work today though…..” Jun muttered, looking at the shortage in the lunch boxes he had packed.

“Don’t worry about food, I got some friends to meet over lunch.” The older man shot him a two-fingered salute before jogging out of the dining hall, earning Seungcheol’s tired sigh.

“I can never keep up with him-”

“Cab leaves in five!” Chan shouted, poking his head through the window.

The members around immediately stuffed the last of their breakfast, grabbing their things hurriedly, rushing out to get the front seat in Chan’s car. Afterall, the ones behind had to squeeze to fit themselves in and the one hour bumpy ride to the city was not fun. From their collective groans though you could tell Jeonghan had called shotgun - the asshole was lucky as usual.

Seungcheol downed the last of his breakfast with a fond laugh before turning to you.

“Have a nice day Y/n, I’ll see you later.”

You tried not to smile back at him too widely as your eyes followed him leaving the premises. When you turned back to your meal, you could feel a set of eyes keenly looking at you. Looking up, you saw Jihoon staring at you with a small smirk, his expression all knowing. Gulping, you excused yourself from there.

You stared at the blueprint before you, humming skeptically.

“Are you still not happy with the design?” Mingyu sighed, crossing his arms.

“I don’t know.” You drawled. “Something about it feels….off.”

“Something about your own design that you made for your own house feels off?”

“Gyu.” Joshua chastised, standing up from the couch and walking over to you. “Artists second guess their work all the time, have some patience.”

“I am patient.” The bigger man pointed. “But she’s unbelievably indecisive.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” You looked up at Mingyu guiltily. “It’s just, I’m wondering if having a bathroom in my residence is a good idea or if I should just have another small one built by the bath house? I mean think about it - my residence is so far from the training grounds and the dining hall, if I had to walk all this distance everyday, I’m only going to be more late-”

“I get it.” Mingyu patted your back. “I get your concerns but the sooner we finalize this, the sooner I can get to building it and the sooner you can get out of Seungcheol’s house and into your own space.”

Ahhh.

Right.

A part of you was thankful that Jihoon wasn’t a part of this discussion otherwise he would’ve seen right through your subtle attempts to delay this process. You didn’t want to be an inconvenience on purpose but….. You were just a girl and you wanted to get to know Cheol a little better. It didn’t help that he was barely ever at home, leaving at the crack of dawn for training and only returning very late at night, after he finished attending night school doing that stupid astronomy degree of his. The only time you ever got with him was on Sunday because members did not train on Sundays - everyone was free to do whatever they wanted. And you wanted to do Cheol.

So far you only had the chance to spend one weekend alone with him and maybe just maybe if you pushed your house construction a little you’d have the chance for another weekend or two. Then perhaps, you’d be able to take this unresolved, unnecessary tension with him somewhere.

“How about you take a few days and work on your plan again Y/n?” Joshua rolled up the large paper carefully, handing it to you. “Whenever you’re ready let me and Mingyu know - we’ll try and figure out the materials, budget, feasibility and all that.”

“It’s times like this I miss Jeonghan’s brain.” Mingyu clicked his tongue, disappointed. “Where did he say he was off to again?”

“When does he ever tell us?” Joshua mumbled. “He should be back by nightfall though. Jun said he needed help with the fertilizer composition and Han told him he would help.”

“Wow, he’s capable of being useful.” You rolled your eyes, stashing the blueprint into your bag. Mingyu and Joshua laughed, amused.

“Jeonghan is always useful..”

“We still haven’t managed to figure out a thing about my lawsuit and my hearing is in a few weeks-”

“Han and Wonwoo will sort it out Y/n, don’t worry.” Joshua rubbed your arm comfortingly. “They’re the best one can ask for.”

“Yeah except I can’t seem to ask Jeonghan for anything cause he’s a little bitch or ask Wonwoo anything because for that he would need to realise that I exist and I don’t think he does.”

“Wonwoo hyung is….” Mingyu trailed off. “He’s a little hard to understand. Just give him some time. Once you figure him out, you’ll know why he’s like this.”

Exasperated, you shook your head and walked away. Time was the one thing you never seemed to have.

Like always, as the sun began setting you glanced out of the window of the library catching sight of the varied hues in the sky. On the camp ground you could see Mingyu riding his big mechanical bull, lighting up the fire torches around for the night. Pulling out the lighter from your bag, you stared at the candles stacked in the middle of the table.

Sighing you cast the lighter aside and snapped your fingers, watching the flames come to life in your hand, dancing across your palm. Stretching your fingers, and moving your hand around, you watched the orange yellow light just glide across your skin like it was a pretty accessory and not literal fire that should have obliterated your hand by now.

Fire never did burn you - how could it when a mere thought could make it come alive in your hands. You first discovered this when you were 16 and accidentally dunking your hand in a pot full of boiling water did not leave so much as a scar. Even though you were unscathed you roamed around for a few days with a fully bandaged hand - the world would have thought you were some sort of freak otherwise. Over the years you tried to play with fire in many ways, just to test your limits, just to see how far you could go and each time, much to your own dismay, the limit didn’t exist. Each time proved just how much you didn’t fit in the world, just how much you deserved to be alone because you really were a freak.

But that was until a few weeks ago.

Until you discovered it wasn’t the inability to burn that was the true madness - it was your ability to create fire itself.

From there things spiraled. You learnt you weren’t the anomaly but a part of a rather large group of such circus acts - a world completely hidden from your own. In a cascade of events you were thrown into camp seventeen out of no will of your own and now, this was your life, this was your world.

Holding your flaming hand over your redrawn sketches you glanced at them. Thanks to the two boys yet again canceling the meeting with you, you found yourself working in the library earlier than usual, exhausted by the time the sun set. As you debated between working a little more or heading back, the door opening with a slow creak made the decision for you - if it was windy outside, it was most likely going to rain and you didn’t want to stay long enough to get drenched. Quickly dousing the flame and blowing out the candles, you grabbed all your things and saw your way out.

In the darkness, the camp was quiet as usual. You figured most of the members must’ve retired to their residences for the night and when you reached the House of Zeus, surprisingly, so had Seungcheol.

“Y-you’re home.” You stuttered, watching the shirtless man, doing sit ups in the middle of the living room in the dim golden light of the paraffin lamps.

Evidently Seungcheol hadn’t expected your presence so soon either because at the sound of your voice, he got up with a jerk, pulling a muscle in his abdomen.

“Cheol oh my god-”

“You’re early.” He got up wincing, holding the side of his trunk. “I’m sorry I should have been doing this in my room-”

“I mean, the whole house is yours-”

“There’s a heavy rain forecast today, not really much astronomy I can do-”

“Yeah I came back because of the rain too-”

“Yeah me too….” Seungcheol trailed off realising how silly he sounded.

Grabbing his shirt from the floor, he attempted to put it on, groaning miserably at the pain shooting up his abdomen. Watching him struggle, you quickly dropped your things and tried to reach for him to help out, but just as your finger barely grazed over his skin, he stumbled back like he was electrocuted, pushing your hand away.

“Don’t touch me.”

“Cheol…. “ You frowned, confused. “I was just trying to help-”

“Seungcheol.” He corrected. “And I don’t need your help Y/n. Please just…. stay away from me.”

You blinked at a complete loss of words at his unwarranted behaviour. Unsure about how you felt, you grabbed your bag from the floor, turned on your heel and walked out silently, the same way you came in.

As usual, bad luck had followed you on your way out.

Not only was your life miserable, the weather too decided to be a pain in your ass and it started drizzling the moment you stepped out of Seungcheol’s house.

Even though the water was cold and you were shivering, you took off in the rain. You needed to get as far away from here as you could.

You were such a fool. You should have known that Seungcheol wasn’t being nice or giving you your space, on the contrary he was keeping his distance, putting you at an arm’s length. It was evident today - not only was he uninterested, but somehow it seemed like your very presence was disturbing him in some way.

And there was you who was always desperately wishing for the smallest interaction with him.. What an idiot.

Hugging yourself, you walked further down the cobbled path. Tomorrow you were going to finalise your house plan with Mingyu and get out of Cheol’s house as soon as possible. But as much as you wanted to avoid him and pull yourself away, a part of you was still aching at the loss of something that you believed had a lot of potential. Why did it have to be him of all people? Why couldn’t it have been someone like Mingyu - he was hot as hell and unlike his leader, he actively showed interest in you all the time.

As you raised your head, Mingyu’s house loomed before you and your feet, as if they had a brain of their own, took you towards his mini mansion of a residence. That was until you saw Jihoon stepping out of the same place and instinctively took a swift u-turn.

The last person who could see you right now was Jihoon - that man would read you like an open book and know exactly how fucking embarrased you were. Hoping to god he didn’t spot you, you quickly ran, entering the nearest gate for temporary refuge, till you got out of his sight.

But in hindsight, perhaps falling in Jihoon’s line of vision was better than the situation you had landed yourself in….. You weren’t really sure who’s house you had trespassed until the low growling expressed just how much his companion disliked it.

Horang.

Realising you had quite literally thrown yourself into the den of a wild cat, you froze, praying that it didn’t notice you and you could slip out as easily as you slipped in. But before you could do anything, a hand grabbed you quickly, leading you into the neighbouring cottage, shutting the door behind you.

“Are you insane?” Soonyoung looked at you confused, shaking the water off his hair. “Why would you enter Horang’s enclosure unless you wanted to be ripped apart.”

“I didn’t know….” You rubbed your arms, generating heat. “I was just….trying to escape the rain.”

“You should have knocked on my door then..” He muttered, disappearing for a split second, returning with a towel in his hand. “Horang isn’t used to you yet so please don’t venture near my tiger in my absence - he only listens to me.”

You tried not to hyperfixate on the inappropriate labeling of Horang in the off chance that an annoyed Soonyoung threw you back out. Instead, you accepted his towel, patting yourself dry, still shivering a little. With his hands on your shoulder, Soonyoung led you to the fireplace, guiding you to sit on the couch across. As you did, you glanced around his residence.

This was the first time you were in Soonyoung’s place and in all honesty, it looked much like that designated room in college dorms where all the parties happened - he had party lights everywhere, streamers hanging from the ceiling and techno music softly playing over the speakers.

When you turned back to him, Soonyoung held out a christmas mug, with a grin. “Mulled wine.”

“I can’t.” You shook your head although in the headspace you were in, you could really use some alcohol. “I won’t be able to wake up on time tomorrow.”

“It’s not like you’ll be on time even if you were sober.” He chuckled, immediately regretting his words as you narrowed your eyes at him. “You’re in the House of Dionysus. This is literally the only hot drink I have to offer.”

Sighing you took it from him, desperate to have something warm coursing through your body after all that coldness you experienced earlier.

“So, why are you out and about in the rain?” Soonyoung sank into the couch beside you, sipping a drink of his own.

“I….just needed to be away from that house for a while.” You mumbled, taking a sip.

“Why? Has Seungcheol gotten overbearing already?”

“It’s not him….”

“It’s always him.” Soonyoung sighed. “But it’s not his fault. He just has a lot of pressure on him to be perfect as a leader, you know? That sort of thing gets to you.”

“I know. It’s just….. “ You sighed, not knowing how to explain things to him. “Forget it, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“No, tell me.” He whined making you turn to him, finally noticing he was fully dressed from head to toe like he was about to march right into a party.

“Are you going somewhere?”

“Work?” Soonyoung stated like it was obvious. “Don’t tell me you forgot what I do.”

You looked at him sheepishly. “I’ve been here for just a week Kwon and there’s thirteen of you so I’m sorry if it’s taking me some time.”

“Forgiven.” He nodded amused. “I own the Midnight club in the city centre.”

“Right, that big Demigod rave place.”

“No, the Midnight club is for humans. There’s another club hidden behind it, After Hours - That’s for Demigods exclusively.”

You let out an oh of realization as Soonyoung continued.��

“Business usually runs fine on its own but I try to drop by from time to time to just remind everyone who the boss is.”

“I heard there’s a life size portrait of you behind the DJ booth to do the same.”

“Obituaries are portraits too.” He rolled his eyes. “I need to let them know I am alive, kicking and always in charge.”

You shook your head laughing. “Well then aren’t you getting late? You should probably leave by now-”

“I don’t think I’m going.” He mumbled, downing his drink in one shot, red slowly creeping on his face. “Not in the mood.”

Glancing at him silently, you just blinked at him. You knew guys like Soonyoung could not keep a thing in them - he would share whatever was bothering him without you even asking in three, two, on-

“The intel is that my ex is going to be there tonight.”

“Ahh.” You crossed your feet on his couch, settling in. “And you don’t want to see her?”

“I don’t want to see her with other men.” He gripped his mug tight. “With the news out that she’s single, guys will be falling all over her and I know she’s going to play along just to make me jealous.”

“Well two can play that game right? You can do the same?”

“What makes you think there are girls fawning all over me?”

“Do you just want to hear me say you’re hot and that you could pull if you wanted to?” You cocked your head at him. “Cause I can. I have a little wine in me so I can use it as an excuse.”

Soonyoung laughed, throwing his head back. “No I know I’m hot, but do you know who she is?”

You shook your head, drinking up more.

“Aphrodite’s daughter, the femme fatales of the demigod world - boys want her and girls don’t want to mess with her. No one is going to so much as look at her ex, forget trying to hit on me.”

“Huh.” You pondered, the cogwheels in your brain turning. “Well technically, no one in the human world knows her so I’m sure one of them will-”

“There’s no point of that. She knows I won’t go for a human.”

“Why is that?”

Soonyoung stared back at you a little hard before a small smirk formed on his face. “Y/n, are you a virgin?”

You blinked, breaking out into a laugh. “I sure am drunk cause I seem to have missed why this intrusive question is relevant now?”

Taking your empty mug from you, Soonyoung filled it up again from the pot. “What I mean is, demigods don’t sleep with humans sweetie.”

“Why not?”

“Because we’re half gods, do you think humans can really satisfy us?” Soonyoung raised his eyebrows. “Mortals can’t keep up with our sex drive.”

As you looked confused, the smirk returned back to Soonyoung’ face. “Which is why I asked. If you haven’t realised that a mortal man can’t pleasure you, then either you’ve never had sex……. or you’ve never had an orgasm.”

“I don’t have to answer that.”

“Come on, humor me.”

“Maybe I’m starting to get why your girlfriend dumped your annoying ass.”

Soonyoung pouted, feigning hurt as you rolled your eyes.

“So now if you want to get her back, you won’t be hit on by another demigod and you can’t be hit on by a human which means your only chance of making her jealous is with……” You looked at him intently. “Kwon Soonyoung, why are your eyes glimmering with mischief?”

“You.” He took the cup from your hands and set it on the table, much to your dismay. “You’re the only one who she doesn’t know about and the only one who doesn’t know her…..”

“So?”

“Oh you’d be the perfect bait.” Soonyoung clapped his hands. “One look at you next to me and she’s going to be quaking in her boots.”

“If you think I’m about to stroll into a nightclub and pretend to hit on you to make your ex girlfriend jealous you’re sorely mistaken.”

“Why?” He whined. “Why can’t you do me a small favour. I saved you from Horong-”

“Number one. If you didn’t pull me into your house, I would have ran out of the gate and been safe anyways-”

“Sure.”

“Number two, I don’t know what the hell is in this wine. Normally it takes a whole bottle to knock me down but two glasses in and I’m already buzzed-”

“It’s a special blend.”

“And number three, unfortunately for you, women are really observative creatures. One look at me next to you and she’s going to know there’s absolutely nothing going on between us.”

Soonyoung opened and closed his mouth like he was thinking about what to say. “It won’t work out Kwon.”

“This always happens.” He sighed. “She breaks it off with me for any small thing, goes on to have her fun, pushes me till I have to beg for her forgiveness and then she accepts it whenever she feels like. Everything is always whenever she feels like it. We haven’t even had sex in like two years-”

“Okay.” You cut him off before he went into details you didn’t need to know. “If you’re so aware of what she’s doing, why do you always give in to her? Do you really like her or… is she just a habit?”

“I don’t know.” Soonyoung stared at the floor, lost in thought. “I just know that we’ve been together since we were 18. And I can’t throw that away.”

“I never knew you were such a romantic Kwon.”

He laughed, sinking further into the couch.

“You really want her back huh?”

“I do.”

“And this time do you want her to make the effort?”

“A man can hope.”

“Well then.” You turned to him. “Point number three was relevant only if she saw me…do you have your phone?”

Soonyoung nodded, patting his many pockets and finally finding it, holding it out.

“You're going to call and tell her you're hitting on me?”

“No…. If you give her a missed call will she call back?”

“Not immediately.” He sighed. “She'll take her time to pretend like she didn't see and then get back to me-”

“Do it.” He continued to look at you confused. “Call her and cut the call.”

He followed through but the frown didn't leave him the whole time. “Y/n what exactly are you doing?”

“This may be a bit diabolical but it should do the trick.” You took a deep breath glancing at Soonyoung. “When she calls you back, she's going to hear us having sex.”

“W-what?”

“Before you get any ideas, I'm not going to have sex with you Soonyoung, we're just going to make her think that we are.”

“How exactly will we do that?”

“We'll fake it.” You shrugged. “Make a couple of wet skin smacking sounds-”

“and you could moan my name, say how good I'm making you feel.”

“Didn’t you get onboard this real fast.” You narrowed your eyes at him. “I'm going to make it really clear once again that this is for her not-”

Ring!

At the sound of the ringtone both of you glanced at his phone and in a split second, Soonyoung picked up the call, holding it against his ear. Thankful that you got the opportunity to execute your idea so soon and determined to put up the show you promised, you immediately got to it, clearing your throat.

“Fuck yes Soonyoung, that feels so good-”

With widened eyes and a swift movement, Soonyoung shut your mouth with his hand, shaking his head.

“Yeah, yeah I remember…..Oh no that was just…. our cow?…..Yes Daisy, she's just having a rough night….. Anyways thanks for the reminder Hyungwon.”

You stared at him mortified, all the wine threatening to exit your system.

“Yeah sure, see you tomorrow bro.”

Soonyoung brought down both the phone and his hand at the same time.

“Oh god I’m so sorry, I thought it was-”

“That’s your idea of having sex??” He looked at you shocked. “Thank god it wasn’t Mina because there was no way in hell she would have believed that?”

“Hey, I had no preparation time, you try faking it off the bat.” You mumbled. “Besides, it wasn’t so bad.”

“Wasn’t so bad?” Soonyoung looked scandalised. “Do you even know what you sounded like? Fuck yes Soonyoung, that feels good-”

You leaned back inching away from him.

“What the…..what was that?”

“That's what you said.”

“I know but” You frowned unsure if you heard right or if you were starting to get too drunk. “You sounded exactly like me. Like your voice, it….it was mine.”

“Oh.” Soonyoung scratched the back of his head. “Yeah well um being the son of the God of Theater comes with its own skill set. Imitation helps confuse opponents during war - it has actually saved us in quests many times.”

“You can imitate anyone?”

Soonyoung nodded.

“Any sound they make?”

He nodded again as you let out a low whistle.

“Well that's brilliant, then you don't even need me. You can make your girlfriend jealous by simply impersonating me.”

“The keyword is imitate. I can only repeat sounds I hear, I can't just make them up.” He shifted in his seat. “So if I should impersonate you, I need to hear what you actually sound like during sex.”

You rolled your eyes. “Don't push your luck Kwon.”

“I'm kidding.” He laughed leaning back into the couch, his eyes fluttering shut. “But you really have to work on the faking.”

“Yeah I've been told.” You muttered as Soonyoung sat up again.

“Aha, so you have never had an orgasm!”

“Because of a man, no I've not.” You confessed. “But bold of you to assume that I'm not perfectly capable of my own.”

Soonyoung looked confused.

“Ever heard of masturbation, genius?”

Soonyoung's mouth formed an O of realisation. “Well I've been in a relationship for almost 10 years so I've never had to take care of myself.”

“Don't rub it on my face Kwon.” You scoffed but regretted immediately knowing some dirty joke was going to come out of the man. So shutting his mouth with your hand, you held a finger to your lips. “Not a word. You're going to shut up till your girlfriend calls back.”

“That could be a very very long time.” He mumbled against your hand making you press it harder against his mouth with a shush.

5 minutes later you were on your fourth mug of wine and Mina still hadn't called.

10 minutes later, you were nearly falling asleep and Soonyoung was already snoring away beside you.

15 minutes later the sound of the rain began to get softer outside.

And 20 minutes later was when you finally lost your patience, shaking Soonyoung awake.

“It’s getting late, I should go….”

Soonyoung looked up at you sleepily as you got off the couch, standing up.

“You should.….. I’m sorry, I shouldn't have roped you into this” He glanced at the blank screen on his phone. “Clearly Mina is either too busy having fun on her own or she doesn’t care.”

You smiled at him sadly, as he pulled his feet up, snuggling into the couch.

“I'm so sorry.” You whispered. “Goodnight Kwon.”

“Goodnight sweetie.”

Setting the mug down, you grabbed your bag and opened his front door, relieved that the rain seemed to have stopped. But something was also stopping you from stepping out.

Giving it a thought and sighing, you turned around, looking at the half asleep man again.

“You said you could imitate me right?”

Soonyoung's eyes slowly fluttered open.

“So if you listen to how I actually sound, if and when she calls back, you can execute the plan on your own right?”

Soonyoung looked at you in a mix of confusion, drunkenness and sleepiness.

“Are you saying that…”

“No, I'm not going to sleep with you Kwon Soonyoung.”

“But you're horrible at faking.”

“Yet again I'm going to remind you about masturbation.”

You sighed, looking at his eternally lost expression. Grabbing his hand, you pulled him off the couch, leading him to his room.

Soonyoung's room was just how you expected it to be - a mess. There were things scattered everywhere, all kinds of band posters up on the wall, snack wrappers all over the floor.

He quickly kicked the trash under his bed and looked at you pleadingly. “You cannot tell Mingyu how messy my room is. And you most definitely cannot tell Seungcheol I'm snacking - he does not understand post break up slump.”

You gritted your teeth annoyed to be reminded of him again. Of course he didn't understand anything remotely related to feelings.

“Don't worry, no one's gonna know anything because you too are going to keep your mouth shut about whatever happens tonight.”

“I still don't know what's happening tonight.” He mumbled as you walked around his room, glancing at everything.

“I'm going to get myself off and you're going to listen and take notes.” Soonyoung's eyes finally widened in realisation.“Do you have a towel?”

He nodded, quickly going through the stack of clothes piled on the chair across his bed and pulled out a long white one. Taking it from him you laid it down on his bed, the two of you staring at it mindlessly.

“Could you also close the curtains?” You fidgeted with your fingers, putting your bag down at the foot of his bed as Soonyoung nodded. “Also dim the lights please.”

Following through your requests he tried not to look at you as you stripped out of your jacket and threw it on the bed. But when you unclasped your bra and pulled it out from under your shirt, Soonyoung was quite literally gawking.

“I’m hot.” You mumbled as he walked back, standing much closer to you than he was before.

“Yeah you are…. I mean,” He cleared his throat when you raised an eyebrow at him. “Yeah it's a little hot in here.”

Both of you tried to ignore the sound of cold raining softly falling against the window.

“On second thoughts,” You took a step back. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“W-why not?”

“If you haven’t noticed I am buzzed as hell and I’m not sure I can do…. a great job on myself right now.”

Lips slowly curling into a smile, Soonyoung cocked his head. “I can help.”

“Yes and I can finally use all that combat training and kick your ass. Soonyoung I am not sleeping with-”

“What? No, no I mean….. just wait here.”

Your eyes followed him as he jogged out of his room, leaving you alone with your thoughts. You must be crazy to suggest this. Sure there was alcohol in your system and sure you were trying to get your mind off Seungcheol, avoiding going back to his house but this…..

“Here you go.”

Soonyoung strolled back in with what you could only describe as a wooden looking, very phallic instrument.

“That’s…”

He nodded. “A dildo.”

“I have so many questions.”

“Let me clarify. Yes I have used a dildo before-”

“Oh god.”

“- Although my girlfriend isn’t the biggest fan of it-”

“This wasn’t my question.”

“-I do occasionally enjoy it myself.”

“I don’t think I should be a part of this conversation.”

“But this dildo in particular, has never been used by either of us before.”

“That!” You pointed out. “That’s all I needed to know.”

Soonyoung held it out to you, looking at you expectantly. You gulped.

“You know, I don’t think I can do this. I’m actually more of a vibrator girl myself.”

“Now who’s indulging in the TMI?”

You rolled your eyes. “My point is, I don’t need this, I can just do it myself-”

“I haven’t even gotten to the story behind this.” He giggled. “This is my father’s.”

“Aaaand I’m done here.”

“No what I mean is-” He shuffled closer to you like he was revealing a big secret. “My father may be the god of wine and ecstasy and madness and theatre and so many things but he is also…. the creator of the dildo.” You stared at him vacantly. What?? “I don’t think you wanna know the story behind it, it’s disturbing as fuck-”

“More disturbing than everything so far?”

“-but basically, a few years back, my father was temporarily exiled from Olympus and while he was in the human world, he had, what he calls, a magnificent business idea….sex toys. Dildo’s in particular. That’s when he made this.” He held it up and you wished he did it a little less proudly. “This isn’t an ordinary dildo Y/n, no. This baby can take on the shape, size, dimensions and every single tiny detail” He gave a dramatic pause. “Of the person you are imagining while going at it.”

“W-what?” You blinked at him stumped. “You mean to say it…. morphs into a replica of someone’s actual dick?”

Soonyoung nodded fast. “This piece is a prototype that Dionysus made but when he brought the idea to Zeus it was shut down immediately because Gods aren’t supposed to interfere with human business and all that hoo ha, so he left it with me before he returned home.” With a small smile dancing on his lips, he held it out to you. “So if you want, it's all yours.”

You stared at it.

A magic dildo that could take the shape of any dick you wanted?

You would have to be insane to say no to that.

Pretending to hesitate just so you didn’t come across completely deranged, you slowly took the toy off Soonyoung’s hand, feeling the weight of it in your own. As you tried to picture how exactly this night might go, Soonyoung took a few steps back, grabbed a fistful of the material behind his neck and pulled his shirt over his head.

“What?” He smirked as your eyes ran down his chiseled body, mouth moving but no words leaving it. “Didn’t you say it was hot?”

As Soonyoung moved all the clothes stacked on the chair to the floor and sat down, you watched as the minor oversights in your plan came into play. If he had to take notes, then Kwon Soonyoung was going to watch you.

Tongue in the cheek, you glanced around the room, thanking all the gods in Olympus when you spotted a lacy blindfold hanging on the headboard. Without questioning its existence in his room, you quickly grabbed it and threw it at him.

“The deal was for audio Kwon, no visuals.”

In complete contrast to his hot as fuck appearance he pouted like a child as you shook your head and looked at the blindfold pointedly. Sighing, he reached for it and put it over his eyes, tying it behind his hand. Not trusting him entirely, you walked up to him, slotting yourself between his legs and pulled the knot. Soonyoung’s hands gripped your thighs in both surprise and pain.

“Sorry.” He mumbled, fingers softly grazing your legs as he pulled his hands away. “I promise, I can’t see a thing.”

You nodded, then realised he said he couldn’t see and cleared your throat. “Yeah, okay.”

“Okay.” He breathed, leaning back, waiting expectantly.

Taking a few seconds, you let out a deep determined breath, preparing yourself for what was coming. As you unbuttoned your jeans, shimmying both your shorts and underwear down your legs, your eyes finally took a good look at the man of the hour, Kwon Soonyoung. Yeah he was one of the members who often trained shirtless which meant you had seen this display many times before but this was perhaps the first time you were actually paying attention to it. Before this, you hadn’t quite realised just how beautifully tanned and toned he was or how much that undercut suited him or how hot he looked biting his lower lip.

Kicking your garments away, you pried your eyes, reminding yourself that this man was taken. Or at least would be taken again pretty soon. You shouldn’t do this. You shouldn’t be looking at him, you shouldn’t be thinking about him and he sure as fuck cannot be the inspiration for your new magic sex toy.

That unfortunately meant that there was only one other person in your mind who could be the muse - Choi Seungcheol. Despite his dismissal earlier and despite being someone who held herself as a very high level of self respect, it was evident that your body shamelessly still craved him - he was the only one running in your mind. Trying to block him out, you arranged the pillows on Soonyoung’s bed against the headboard, adjusted the towel and slowly climbed on. In all the time that you took leaning against it, spreading your legs and settling in, Soonyoung remained incredibly quiet. Patient.

Although he couldn’t see you, watching him felt weird, given the man and the dick on your mind were not him. Sighing, you glanced at the object you were gripping - it had already taken shape of what you desired and the sight of it made you gulp.

Lord was Choi Seungcheol thick.

Given his beefy exterior and broad build you had always assumed he was packed between his legs but this was nowhere near what you were imagining, not even close. Earlier, you were worried how you would get yourself off when you weren’t even wet enough but now you were practically dripping with the thought of that inside you. Still, you didn’t think it could fit, not without any prep.

Slipping two fingers in your mouth you wet them messily before guiding them to your folds, smearing the spit with your very evident arousal. When you let out a soft sigh, Soonyoung shifted in his seat like he was alert and when your fingers teased your hole, slowly slipping in, an unintentional moan left you too, making him practically grip the armrests of his couch tight.

“I'm going to need more than that Y/n.” He whispered. “What are you doing right now?”

“I’m prepping myself, it’s…” You gulped. “It’s too big.”

“Do you need lube?” He frowned. “Although I don’t know where it is….or if I even have any-”

“That’s okay.” You shook your head. “I think I’m wet enough. Almost.”

“Do you need any help?”

You glanced at his tense body. “How can you help?”

“Are you the kind that listens to instructions?”

“Occasionally.”

“Then push your fingers further.” He exhaled. “Curl them up.”

Although that was what was on your mind anyways, you obeyed. As your fingers brushed that spot, a soft fuck escaped your lips.

“Feel good?”

“Yeah.” You nodded. “Yeah that’s good.”

“Then move.” He cocked his head. “Slowly at first, then pick up speed.”

Even before he finished his sentence you had followed through, fingers pumping faster, head falling back as the grip around the dildo in your hand tightened.

“Add another finger.”

“This feels good enough.”

“This will feel better.” He urged. “Stretch yourself a little and add another finger.”

Scissoring yourself open, you held back the moan that was threatening to tumble out, terrified Soonyoung would hear you. Belatedly you realised - Soonyoung was supposed to hear you.

“Fuck that does feel better.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you ready for more?”

“.......I think so.”

“Then wet the dildo.” He shifted. “Put it in your mouth.”

Hesitating just a bit you brought it up to your eye level, still taken aback by its sheer girth. In the dim light of the lamp on the nightstand you can see a stark vein running along his length, the sight of it nearly making your mouth water. Oh you wanted him to fill your mouth, you wanted him to fill you just about anywhere so bad but it was clear from earlier that Seungcheol didn’t want the same. So you were just going to take this chance and fuck him out of your brain. After tonight you were not going to think of Choi Seungcheol anymore.

Determined, you wrapped your mouth around the tip, humming against the weight on your tongue before pulling it out with a wet pop. As Soonyoung’s breath hitched, you sunk your mouth down on it again, taking it further in, not far enough to let it hit the back of your throat, but enough to just slightly choke around it, drool running down the corner of your mouth.

“Y/n,” Soonyoung’s voice sounded almost choked too. “Please….”

You’ve never had a man beg for you like this before and it wasn’t enough to touch him but to touch yourself? Something in you swelled in pride, but something was also terrified about what things would be like once this was over - could you and Soonyoung really be the same again? And if things were going to change, how would they be?

“Sweetie, you have to do something….”

Knowing you needed something in you more than he did, you drove the thoughts away before aligning the tip at your dripping hole and slowly pushing Seungcheol’s girth in.

“Holy shit..” You sighed as you thrusted his length further, the stretch serving a sting that slowly ebbed from pain to pleasure.

“Is it all the way in?” Soonyoung groaned as you shook your head gulping.

“It’s not…” You panted, glancing down to see barely any length disappearing in you yet you were so full. “I can’t.”

“You can.” He licked his drying lips. “You can Y/n, come on - fuck yourself like you want to be fucked.”

Yes you knew Soonyoung had a horrible habit of pointless flirting but you did not think his mouth was capable of spewing such filth too.

“Tell me how you like it.”

“Deep.” You whimpered, answering him as you shoved it in more, feeling it hit all the right places. “I like it deep.”

“And fast?”

“And fast.”

“Then move.”

And you did, pulling it out, pistoning it into you, sharp intakes of breath and curse words leaving you as you did. You felt your eyes roll back, threatening to shut but when they landed on Soonyoung they widened - he had slid down his chair, manspread now a lot wider and stark against his pants was the imprint of his uncomfortably trapped boner.

“Soonyoung….” You accidentally moaned, simply trying to get his attention. “Are you… hard?”

“Unbearably.” He confessed immediately. “I’m s-sorry, it’s been a while-”

“Do you want to touch yourself?”

You don’t know why exactly you asked him that but you wanted him to feel good too. Just as good as faux Seungcheol was making you feel.

“I think I can cum without that.” He half laughed, half groaned. “But god yes I want to.”

“Do it.” You directed him, halting your own movements, watching him. “Touch yourself.”

Without wasting a second, Soonyoung instantly unbuttoned his pants and stuck his hand down, wrapping it around his erection. As he shifted uncomfortably, you could tell he would’ve felt a lot better if he could completely free himself.

“Careful. Otherwise I’ll see you…I mean it…”

“Do you mind?” He raised his eyebrows at you. “Would it bother you if I….”

If you were being honest, since the moment you laid eyes on the outline of his dick you were curious…

“No.” You shook your head. “I don’t.”

“Then I don’t give a flying fuck.”

He raised his hips a little, just enough to pull down his pants as his erection sprung free, resting against his abs, pink and flushed.

Oh he was long.

Seungcheol might be thick but Soonyoung was long, like he could reach places no one else could. As he spat in his hand and smeared the pre cum along his length pumping it in his fist, you gulped, forgetting that you too were in the middle of doing the same thing, just staring.

“Y/n,” He moaned your name, throwing his head back, setting off a strange fire in your groin. “Match my pace.”

You nodded, thankful to not have to put your own brain to this which was threatening to shut off any moment now. Watching him half lidded, you let him set the pace for your movements, matching him almost perfectly.

“Fuck this feels so good.” Soonyoung whimpered.

“It does.” You agreed, with struggling breaths. “Soonyoung please…. Faster.”

“Faster?” He smirked, but listened. “You really are one of us huh.”

“I need more.” You whined, feeling yourself at an edge you were just not able to cross. “Soonyoung….”

“I wish I could help, baby.” He sighed, “I really do wish…”

“What would you have done?”

“I’d have my mouth everywhere…marked your neck…. marked those pretty breasts….fuck Y/n, you’d have to beg me to stop.”

“Don’t.” You moaned, pushing your shirt up with your free hand, grabbing a tit, squeezing it painfully hard. “Tell me more…”

“I’d hold the toy for you, watch you fuck yourself on it….�� He stroked himself faster, almost erratically. “Maybe give it to you from the back so I can see how your ass-”

Groaning annoyed at the sound of music coming loudly from his pocket, your movements faltered, eyes widening. It was different from the ringtone earlier which probably meant-

“Is that Mina?”

“Yeah.”

“P-pick it up Soonyoung.”

“Ignore it.”

“Soon-”

“Ignore it.” He emphasized. “Go on Y/n, I don’t know how long the effects of that toy are going to last.”

And that’s what made you stop wondering why Soonyoung wouldn’t pick up the call when this was in fact the most ideal situation the two of you were meant to be caught in. You didn’t want to lose what you were pumping inside you, you didn’t want to lose the feeling of Seungcheol stretching you out. As you resumed the pace, Soonyoung’s voice left him like a croak.

“Do you like the thought of this? Someone listening to you get off?”

You didn’t want to answer that. Wasn’t the kind of things you liked evident by the fact that you were fucking yourself to one man while watching and listening to another?

“Because I love that you’re watching.” He whispered. “It’s driving me insane.”

“I wanna see you cum.” You pulled the toy out of you, tossing it onto the towel before your fingers found your clit rubbing circles hard.

“Fuck I'm close.” He pumped himself faster, losing rhythm, broken moans and whimpers leaving him. “So close.”

Words left your mouth too as incoherent babbles as you felt your back arch and insides tighten pleasurably. Eyes crossing and shut tight, you finally came, chest heaving, trying to catch a breath. As you slowly came around and ran your fingers down your folds realising just how much you came, Soonyoung continued to push himself over the edge, like he just needed a little more nudge to finally find his release. Gulping you swung your legs off the bed and silently walked up to him, standing between his manspread, leaning till your lips were right by his ear.

“Cum for me Soonyoung.”

Almost immediately, with a guttural moan, his head fell back, baring his neck as spurts of cum shot onto his hand and torso, painting them white. Once the sheer amount left him he finally slumped back into his chair, breathing again, like he had been holding it in for too long. The sight of his cum all over his abs against the sheen of sweat on it made you clench unwillingly and you ran two fingers over it, collecting it. You knew his lips parted to catch his breath but you took the chance to slip your digits into his mouth, letting him taste himself. Surprised but not unpleasantly, Soonyoung ran his tongue along them, licking it clean, pulling away with a pop.

“You taste as good as you sound.”

It's only then that you realise your own arousal was coating your fingers too.

Scoffing awkwardly, you shuffled back, picking up your shorts and panties from the floor, putting them on slowly.

“I'm not dressed yet!” You shrieked, futilely trying to cover yourself as Soonyoung attempted to remove his blindfold. Holding his hand up, he allowed you to get dressed in the silence that followed. Silence that was too much to bear, silence that if he hadn’t broken, you would have.

“I wasn't sure if I heard right but I thought…” He let out a deep breath as he tucked his flaccid self back in his pants. “I thought you took someone's name as you came.”

You froze.

You hadn't realised but now that you thought about it…. maybe, just maybe, you had taken Seungcheol’s name as your orgasm hit you. Yes you were incredibly turned on by Soonyoung and the sight of him and the sounds that left him but there was only one thing running at the back of your mind - cheol, cheol, cheol.

“I'm not sure what you heard.” You brushed away his concerns, trying to sound casual. “I don't even know what I was saying, I was in some other zone entirely.”

Soonyoung hummed in response and didn't push you for any further details. Grateful, you wiped your hands on the towel laid out before grabbing it, the bedsheet as well as the dildo and stuffed them all in your bag, throwing it over your shoulder - this was your mess to deal with.

“You done?”

“Yeah just….put fresh sheets please.”

“Oh don't worry about all that.” He got up, attempting to take his blindfold yet again. “I got it. If you want you could-”

“Goodbye Soonyoung.” You stepped back, knowing he was offering for you to stay the night. Instead you headed for the door, hoping to leave before your eyes met his again. “I hope I was of help.”

And as you left, you heard him sigh, revealing something he probably didn't mean for you to hear.

“I don't think so Y/n.”

—

When you left Soonyoung’s house the rain had stopped but as you stood in the dining hall before the laundry machines the storm had returned yet again, much heavier this time. You glanced outside the windows at the obscurity sighing. It was like things just hated being in your favour.

When the ding of the washer went off, you shifted the sheets into the dryer and decided to leave it there for the night considering you couldn't carry them back in the rain - you’d deal with them in the morning anyways, you weren’t ready to see Soonyoung just yet.

When you grabbed your bag from the floor, the weight had not reduced much - the dildo was still in it except it was back in its original popsicle-like shape, any trace of its resemblance to Seungcheol lost. You'd simply washed it and put it back in the bag, unsure what else to do with it. A part of you was annoyed that it had taken after Seungcheol of all people but the other was terrified that if you were to ever use it again, it would probably still model after him yet again.

Disappointed with yourself you took a deep breath and shook your head. No. No more Choi Seungcheol. This ends here.

Glancing at the machines one last time, you held onto your bag and ran out into the rain, hoping that Seungcheol had retired to his room by the time you reached. Instead, just as you approached the House of Zeus, you heard his voice.

“Y/n!”

He was drenched from head to toe, his blonde hair sticking to his face much like his shirt plastered against his pecs, like he had been soaked in the rain for hours. Letting out a struggled breath, you walked straight into his house, ignoring him. Seungcheol jogged over as fast as he could, putting himself in between you and the doors.

“Y/n please listen to me-”

“I don’t want to.” You attempted to go around him, only to be blocked by him again.

“I just want to explain what happened earlier-”

“I don’t care enough for an explanation.”

“I do!”

You rolled your eyes as you pushed him away, a lot less gently than you intended to and Seungcheol immediately caught your hand, pulling you towards him.

“Seungcheol-”

“You…. you can touch me.” He looked at his fingers wrapped around your wrist in awe, then at your palm flat against his chest.

“Didn’t you say you didn’t want me to-”

“You shouldn’t be able to.” He muttered like he was amazed, unable to tear his eyes away. “How can you….”

“Seungcheol, you're not making any sense.”

He let out a deep breath. “Do you remember when you first came to camp we told you that every demigod has a certain set of offensive and defensive powers depending on their parentage?”

You nodded, frowning.

“As the son of Zeus, my defensive power is….an electric field.” Oh. “At times like war, or in adrenaline driven situations, I become highly charged, rendering anyone who so much as comes two feet near me electrocuted. It's supposed to be a way to weaken enemies.” He sighed, “That’s why I was afraid of you touching me. I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

“But…..Seungcheol I’m not an enemy and this isn’t a war-”

“I get nervous around you.” He avoided your eye. “I don’t know, I just….. I can feel my skin prickling around you but……” He glanced at where your hands met his again. “You don’t feel anything?”

“No, no I don’t but why do I make you nervous?”

Seungcheol smiled softly. “Do you really not know?”

You suppressed the grin forming on your own face. Fucking finally.

“No.” You shook your head feigning innocence. “Tell me.”

“Can I show you?”

Maybe you nodded a bit too eagerly, because Seungcheol chuckled, pushing himself up against the door, pulling you along with him. As your body pressed against his, his hands found your waist, gaze darkening. He leaned in, lips hovering over yours, whispering your name softly, like he loved the sound of it. As your breaths mingled, lightning went off behind you, the silver light illuminating his gorgeous face and all its sharp angles. Just as you moved closer, eyes fluttering shut, Seungcheol cleared his throat.

“Y/n I’m sorry, I forgot that it’s late and we have training at 4 tomorrow.” He muttered, drawing his hands away. “You should sleep. I can’t excuse your lateness everyday.”

And yet again Choi Seungcheol left you completely baffled as he opened the door behind him and walked in, away from you.

Next Chapter

a/n - please send me your thoughts - this kind of writing is waaaay out of my comfort zone, I need to know I'm not completely messing shit up and if I missed you in the taglist, please lmk!

#svthub #thediamondlifenetwork #seventeen ot13 #soonyoung smut #hoshi smut #Seungcheol angst #scoups angst #seventeen series #seventeen × reader #seventeen smut #seventeen angst #seventeen crack #seventeen fluff #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen Seungcheol #seventeen scoups #seventeen hoshi #seventeen Soonyoung

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elodieunderglass · 1 month ago

Note

The notion of Scary Go Round being adjacent to Homestuck...I think you shifted my reality.

(In reference to this post / my tags)

Ok not to sound totally old-fashioned but this was not in a thematic way or anything!

Back in the day I used to like Dinosaur Comics. At the time, I would read webcomics by sitting at a computer in the morning and checking the ones I kept up with, like a newspaper. I regularly read Dinosaur Comics (updated daily i think?), XKCD, Gunnerkrigg Court, Scary Go Round, Questionable Content, and that sort of thing. Sometimes there’d be updates to other ones I liked, like Buttercup Festival or Hark! a Vagrant. It would take ten minutes, and that was Morning Computer Time.

At the time webcomic artists all knew each other, and the old-fashioned desktop computer browsing design meant that you were looking at them on a big screen, which meant the sidebars were visible. The sidebars would contain links to all of their friends’ comics or recommended comics. There would only ever be like 20 links max. so every day you would read Dinosaur Comics and could, from there, click the sidebar in the left to get to the creator’s own favorite comics. Dinosaur Comics was a good day’s starting point since it linked directly to pretty much all the webcomics I listed above.

(I’m sorry if I’m over explaining or under explaining this.)

(This was before social-media-ized internet was popular, and this was just how you read stuff.)

There was also something TopatoCo / a guy called Jeff who had his own webcomic that I read sometimes, but more importantly he was a central point that sold merchandise for a bunch of these comics, and I bought a Jonathan Colton t-shirt from him. He sold a line of Problem Sleuth/MS Paint adventures stuff and I remember this coming up suddenly in advertising newsletters I got I think. problem sleuth went from 0 to 60 very quickly, but I never really understood it.

Anyway, MS Paint adventures was linked in the sidebar of a lot of these comics!! The people in these circles really hyped it up. and I did read Problem Sleuth, dutifully, but it bored me. Then the same guy started posting his next work, Homestuck. I read the first few pages as they came out and then stopped clicking it. It just wasn’t for me.

So it isn’t so much about them being adjacent in any way apart from Ryan North, the guy who ran Dinosaur Comics, having a sidebar on his website labelled something like “the girls” with his recommendations for other things you might like, like Scary Go Round - XKCD - MS Paint adventures.

And I was literally there dutifully looking at the first page of homestuck before all the homestucks read it, admittedly going “oh nah this ain’t it”, but, like. I was there. I was standing next to the impact crater.

Like every day I would check on my friend T Rex and look directly at a link that led to the homestuck website and check on my friend Buttercup Festival instead. Then I would turn off the computer and be done with computer for the day.

It’s very weird to realise that this is not how people use the internet any more.

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theresattrpgforthat · 3 months ago

Text

How To Find Cool Games: On Itch.io!

As I drift into a reduced posting schedule, I figured I’d give everyone a peek behind the screen for how I cultivate ttrpgs for recommendations! Some of these tips might even help you find your next favourite game.

This is a long read so let's put most of this beast under a read-more. Keep in mind that many of these strategies work best when you're checking itch.io a little bit every week, and when you're engaging with the platform as more than just a store page. There's a lot of features that you can choose to engage with if you want to find the game for you!

browsing physical game recent releases. This helps me see what’s new and happening, and it helps with a number of things. First of all, I get to see new games pretty much every time I browse recent releases. Secondly, I get a good sense of what’s currently popular in the design space. Thanks to my weekly browsing, I recognize Cy_Borg, Shadowdark and Mausritter as games whose content shows up rather regularly - if you see a lot of products attached to one game at once, that’s a good sign that there’s a related game jam going on (in this case, Shadowdark), or that a game is really resonating with its player base.

sorting games into collections. I personally organize by genre, system, player configuration and (in Games That Intrigue Me) games that I’m personally really hyped about. This works for me because of the nature of my work, but a few collections sorted according to level of interest or game style might work better for you.

Depending on the need, I might have a collection that works specifically for the request - Neon Lights & Cyber Nights is perfect for cyberpunk games, but I might also reference this folder for combat, inventory mechanics, resistance themes, or interesting tech rules. LUMEN is great for folks who want fast-paced games, folks who are looking for certain kinds of video games, or folks who want to feel powerful. If you follow other people on Itch, you'll probably also be able to see their collections, which is a great place to browse.

searching game tags. I don’t typically use the regular search feature, although recently the website did update the toggles to restrict your results to physical games, video games, etc. Instead what I usually do is type what I’m looking for into the url: so in this case, [deck-building]. I might use a couple different wordings, such as [deck-builder] and [deckbuilding] (no spaces). You’re not going to find everything that includes the thing you’re looking for, but you’ll definitely find places to start.

Game Jams! I find these either by looking at the “Jams” tab (although you'll have to wade through video games here) or by noticing that a number of games being published recently have the “for the _” jam in the description. Alternatively, I might be reading the page for a game and see the little “Submission” badge in interaction buttons. There’s game jams for specific systems, game jams for various themes, game jams with special restrictions, and game jams that are titled things like “finish your damn game jam.”

Bundles. I typically buy big-ass bundles and then sort through the games in my downtime. These games are sorted into collections for future reference, and if a game really pops out - into the Intrigue Me folder it goes! And the best part is that I already own it, so if I want to learn more, I can just download it and start reading.

following game designers that I like. This way I’ll get notifications if they release a new game, update an old game, rate someone else’s game, or sort games into their own collections. I also get to see what other folks in the space are excited about - on the day I was browsing, Plasmodics by Will Jobst was really hot.

If you follow me on Itch, you’ll get a notification every time I add a game to one of my non-private folders! Also - you can interact with designers on Itch by liking their updates, and even commenting on their posts, which is a great way to get involved in the design community - and also just make a designer’s day!

#how to #tabletop games #indie ttrpgs #itch.io #mint speaks #I don't think I can over-emphasize how much you can contribute to the game scene #simply by leaving a comment on a game or an update post #interaction on an itch page indicates that there's interest #which motivates designers to design #it tells us that our game is resonating with someone

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starillusion13 · 10 months ago

Text

FOREIGN SWAGGERS

Pairing: Johnny x Jaehyun x Mark x f!reader (ft.Taeyong)

Genre: Fluff, Smut, Enemies to friends to lovers(?) BROTHER’s BEST FRIENDS Au

W/c: 8k

Warnings: mention of drinking, use of sex toys, birth control pills, sex w/o a wrap(don't do it sillies), they all are just horny for each other, four-some, dom!Johnny, dom!Jaehyun, dom!Mark, sub!fem, finger sucking, cum eating, nipple play, hickeys, manhandling, fingering, kissing, crying, afraid of left alone, overstimulation, masturbation, aftercare, comfort, lots of love (let me know what to add more)

Request from: @tazziexbunn (sorry I made you wait for it so long)

Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated . Applause to the ones who come up to me to interact and they know how friendly I am. Okay enough!

Special mention of @acescavern thanks for helping when I was stuck due to writer's block. A true friend indeed.

MINORS PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT UNDER THE POST!

Family holidays are meant to be having great bonding times and sharing some good moments with your loved ones. The feelings between the individuals deepens and these become the treasured memories in future. But what exactly are the feelings here? The feelings can be between friends, the couples, children and elders, siblings, colleagues, and so on. Sometimes, you meet some new faces and bond with them if the minds click with each other. But also sometimes, some known faces who seemed to be distant as you tried to ignore them appears.

It's okay until you have some distraction. But what if they are the distraction?

And something like that happened when you were planning holidays with your family. It was a summer break and usually you all plan for a trip to some places where you all are having in mind altogether but this time, your brother’s three friends tagged along.

They are your brother’s childhood friends and you almost have seen them often like the times they stayed back at your house for sleepovers, gaming nights, school projects and assignments. You never tried to be friends with them because it was pretty much obvious that they always tried to ignore you. They hate you.

There is nothing to complain about them hating on you as the feelings is mutual. You haven’t ever appreciated their presence around you. What’s with them always popping out of nowhere in your house. They are your brother’s friends but it’s not like you are even their enemy. They are typically non-existent to you. As if you can’t see them but deep down you are cursing regularly whenever you bump into one of them. They are all so attractive that sometimes you steal glances of them. Of course, oblivion to them.

Well, you all grew up hating each other. Obviously.

The family holidays are always the exciting ones to you and the first one to initiate the plannings for the trip has always been you.

And that time, it was the same with you running down the stairs with your laptop in hand and your brother scolding behind you to be careful because if the laptop breaks, he has to buy you again but it doesn’t matter if you fall down.

What a caring brother!

“Mom…Dad…we are going to this place and that’s final. I have asked you so many times. Please.” You were literally whining while placing your laptop on the center table and crouching down beside it.

Your brother’s laugh echoed the place and you groaned before glaring at him.

“They won’t be agreeing with you. I bet.” He leaned back into the sofa across from you and put his hands behind his head. He poked out his tongue at you like a child.

You swear he has not yet grown up after five.

“It’s more like you don’t agree. You should support me but instead you just have to be the mamas boy in front of mom. You are a loser. Well always looks like one.” You spat at him.

“Yah! Shut up. Have you seen the ladies in my workplace drooling over me. My handsome face and everything I do just makes them delusional. Loser is you, not me.” You wanted to punch off that smug off from his face.

“Yeah sure…that’s why your girlfriend dumped you last week”

“Shut up!”

Both of your glares got smacked away by your mother.

“Why don’t you guys try to behave like your age?” your mother shook her head in disappointment.

“Taeyong has started it. I was just excited for the trip but he has to ruin my mood.” You sulked.

“No mom. I just said the truth and she got mad at me. This angry bird is annoying.”

“What did you just tell me?”

Your mother again smacked both of you and then you were totally shut. She was not scolding you enough and that only meant she was in a good mood and was about to deliver some good news.

you waited to hear whatever she was going to say.

She started off with an old story of school days and you were invested into it. Your laptop was long forgotten and your whole attention was on your mom.

It went with jumping off from one topic to another and finally the most awaited speech of the day from her was delivered. She was very happy in the end of the explanation and you were still contemplating the situation and your brother was already on his feet excitedly.

“No way. You are leaving me and Taeyong to go for vacations alone.” You were in disbelief.

He scoffed, “You are telling it the way as if you dont want to go and I’m going to sell you off.”

“Who knows maybe you can?” You stared back at him.

“That’s true though. Atleast you will be of some use by then.”

Your mother smacked his arm, “Oh you two shut it now and listen to me. As me and your dad are going back to our home-town so you are free to go anywhere as you are grown up adults. But the behaviours don’t really prove it but still you don’t get such opportunities often.”

Taeyong was quick to ask, “Can I go to this vacation with my friends?”

Your mother nodded.

You gulped and hesitantly asked, “That means I can go to L.A.?”

“of course. But on one note, no one should go alone. Wherever you are going, you should go together or you are not allowed. He is going with his friends so Y/n, go with them.” Your mother smiled.

You sighed, “no thanks. I would rather stay at home than going with his friends.”

“Y/n dear…I cant leave you all alone and he can take care of you.”

You stood up and ran to your room. You were annoyed. But with whom? With yourself. It’s not like you didn’t like to go with your brother. You both love each other a lot but his friends are the only problems.

You heard someone knocking at your door but you didn’t reply and then when you heard the creak of the door.

Taeyong placed the laptop on your desk and sat beside you. You looked away and scooted away from him.

“I will not go with my friends. Let’s go together.” He sounded sad.

You shook your head and looked back at him, “no it’s okay. I don’t want to ruin your plans.”

“hey its not like that…if you are uncomfortable with them then we can go alone. Really.” He assured you and you smiled back.

“I’m not uncomfortable or such. I am never been close with them. It’s because I feel like they hate me and they don’t like me around. It will just make me look like an outcast among us.” You pout.

He laughed and ruffled your hairs, earning a groan and hit to his arm.

“they never hate you. More like they always told me I’m lucky that I have a pretty and sweet sister like you. They never talked to you or approached as a friend because of your over protective brother. I didn’t trust those horny teenagers around you.”

You both laughed and somewhere you felt as if you just had contemplated their behaviours in a wrong way. So like them bumping into you was not to annoy you but they wanted to talk to you but your brother was being a barrier back then. is that right? Well, you also never really tried to become friends with them. So there was a lack in efforts from both the sides. What about now?

“Are we and your friends going to L.A.?” you asked.

He nodded and added, “if only you are comfortable.”

“It’s okay as far as they will appreciate me to consider a friend.”

“They will.”

It’s been thirty minutes that you were waiting for your frien—oh wait your brother’s friends.

The loud shout from your brother signalled you that his friends had arrived and so you looked up from your phone and craned your neck to watch where your brother ran to.

His excitement is always on another level when it comes to his friends. He really has some true friends unlike you.

They hugged with each other and then walked to where you were waiting. As soon as they were in front of you, you stood up and greeted them with a little smile on your face. They were hesitant at first but Johnny took the lead to extend his hand to shake hands with you. Wow, it’s the first time in the lifetime, you are standing so near to him and them.

“Hey Y/n…you grew up into a beautiful lady…I haven’t seen you in years after you all moved from the hometown.” Johnny stated with a genuine smile on his face.

Him initiating the conversation was a relief or you would have stuttered or never been able to form any words.

“yeah...it’s really been years. You look…good, Johnny.”

He smiled and nodded to your words.

Good? No, Fucking handsome. You wanted to scream it at his face because you have never seen him in such close up view and honestly your brother’s friends are freaking whole meal. You need to calm down and shut up because you don’t want to make it obvious to them and your brother. You sent him a smile.

Your brother and Johnny left for the check-ins, leaving you with Jaehyun and Mark. You gulped and looked around as you were in a very awkward situation. But you didn’t notice yet, Jaehyun’s gaze was boring holes into you and mark was looking between you and his friend.

“You look pretty...I mean really pretty…wow do I sound desperate? But it’s true.” Mark licked his lips and held your gaze when you looked at him.

A smile cracked on your face and you thanked him.

"you look cool as well."

He was eager to talk to you more and now you knew how friendly he was and it would be comfortable to be around him. When you looked at the other person in your group. He was already staring back at you. He was serious, with no emotions visible on his face and he sucked his cheeks inside.

You gulped in nervousness because the feelings of uneasiness rising up was making you suffocate even when the waiting area was so spacious and huge. You didn't know what was the reason for the uneasiness: him or the flight.

Your brother called you three from afar and you were the first one to almost run to your brother. The eyes of the other two behind you were following you. Mark laughed a bit and the corner of Jaehyun’s lip curled up.

Mark, Jaehyun and you got your seats together and on the other side Johnny, Taeyong and a random boy were having their seats. You told Taeyong to ask Johnny to switch seats with you but he told you that it would be better if you spend time with them and then you could be friends before reaching there.

You pouted and sulked in your seat. You sat in the middle one because mark had already claimed to not sit on the window seat and he hates middle one. Also, you were not a fan of window seats so you chose middle and it would be better because you will have mark’s company. Jaehyun was last to enter and he sat on his seat and closed his eyes.

Was he tired or ignoring you?

You didn’t mind his presence but getting interested in hearing Mark’s passion on rap and dancing. His eyes were shining when he was sharing about his likings and hobbies.

But as soon as you felt the wheels moving on the runway, the feeling of uneasiness returned from earlier. You turned to your front and closed your eyes tightly. Your one hand gripping Mark’s sleeves of his full sleeve t-shirt. And the other hand clutching the armrest. Nails digging deeper. You were feeling nauseous and then something unexpected happened.

“Take deep breaths. You will be fine.” You heard whisper from the side of window seat. A hand entangled with yours and clutching it in a soothing way. Thumbs rubbing your skin to calm down. Another hand patted your other hand which was clutching the sleeves.

Slowly, you parted your eyelids to see Jaehyun leaning towards you in worry and his hands were entangled with yours and Mark was patting your other hand with same worry visible on your face.

And what about your brother? He was busy joking with Johnny. But you didn’t know, he was having the same worry and was in panic, Mark assured him that he would handle it.

he will take care of you.

You breathed through your mouth and gulped. Mark patted your head before he went back to whatever he was doing on his phone.

You looked over to Jaehyun and again he was emotionless. “Thank you.”

As you tried to pull away your hand, he held it tighter. Your gaze fell on his veiny hands, veins visible in those smooth buttery skin. His skin was better than yours. Your eyes were trailing upward slowly and slowly and stopped on his lips, they were so pinkish and kissable. WTF! No no not kissable. You met his eyes.

“You can sleep if you feel sick. I won’t mind but don’t even dare to puke on me.”

“I don’t puke…” you pout.

He scoffed and looked away towards the window and it was night but still he had a sunglass over his head. It was adding to his attractiveness.

He patted his shoulder and you frowned.

“What?”

“Sleep…you are annoying.”

You scoffed. Perfect best-friend of your brother. If he was already mad without doing anything then you would rather sleep and be an annoying burden on his shoulder.

Earlier Mark squeezed your cheeks hard and woke you up from peaceful sleep and so you were mad because Taeyong does the same to annoy you when he wakes you up.

Why all his friends are similar to him?

You were still in sleepy mood and were walking towards the hotel room in a daze.

You got a separate room from them. You were so happy that this time you don’t have to share a room with your brother again. Taeyong and Jaehyun were roommates and Johnny and Mark were in the room across from yours beside the other pair.

It was already afternoon when you reached the hotel so you didn’t have much plan for the day so you guys went off to some individual activities in exploring the place. Taeyong offered you to come along with him and Mark but you assured him that you won’t be wandering too far from the hotel.

As far as the first day, the trip was fine. You really had a great evening with making new friends at record shops. They had same music taste similar like yours. You exchanged your IG ids with those three girls and you were happy since that.

The next day it was totally a siblings day with you two exploring the famous places in L.A. You knew that was the only option to spend a day only with him or other days, he wont be leaving his friends behind. You really did argue, fight, clicking pictures and especially eat a lot. It ended with all five of you having your dinner at a fancy restaurant.

Everything was going well until the fourth day of the trip.

You all went to the beach in front of your hotel and you wore a beach dress. Of course, you would have worn a bikini but somehow Taeyong sternly told you to not wear all those in front of his friends or you were not going. You were mad but still you agreed and trailed behind them. Johnny was talking with you a lot since last night. He was often asking you if you were comfortable or feeling left out but you were quick to wave it off as nothing.

Thinking of last night, you remember how you both spent the night in the terrace of your floor in the hotel.

“Cant sleep?”

You got startled and looked behind to see Johnny in a white t-shirt and sweat pants walking towards you. You shook your head.

“It’s not like that. I am just not that tired.”

He chuckled, “it was such a long day and still you are not tired?”

“Yeah. I usually don’t sleep whenever I go for a vacation and I love to spend time with the new environment.”

He nodded and watched the waves hitting the shore and loud roars of the waters could be heard. It was a refreshing feeling after a long day. His fingers moved up to your face to tug your hairs behind the ears. You both smiled at each other.

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

It was an unexpected question but was quick to make you flustered.

“N-no. I don’t.”

“Good.”

“Huh?”

“It’s good that bad boys didn’t got their ways with you…”

“Y/n…Wont you go down into water with us?”

Mark’s voice barely audible due to the loud music. Still, you managed to answer and you shook your head telling him how you didn’t want to soak your pretty sundress. But that was not his intention. As you were looking around. He scooped you from behind and ran with you towards the others.

“Mark…please don’t…I said no..”

“Come on, don’t be a joy-kill.”

With that he threw you into the water but still holding your upper half so that you don’t get hurt for the jump being so sudden.

As soon as you stood up and removed the hairs from your face, you glared at mark jokingly and he laughed it off. His white shirt and shorts were already soaked. Taeyong and Johnny were shirtless with surfboard in their hands, showing off their tattoos. On other side Jaehyun was also shirtless and was recording in his hand-cam.

His cam fixed in your direction and he zoomed in. You stared back at the lens. He smiled at the portrait of yours visible on the screen. His thumb caressed your face. You smiled behind the camera and ‘click’.

Someone splashed water from your side and Johnny was laughing for what he did.

Jaehyun joined in too.

Johnny stifled his laugh and spoke up, “Girls vs Boys.”

“I am the only girl here. This is not fair.” You whined.

Taeyong volunteered to take your side and Johnny teased him, “Oh Y/n look, that man is your girl.”

Taeyong threw some water and tangled his arm around his neck and Jaehyun splashed water at you with Mark taking the both sides for maintaining equal members and that’s how it went on with you all laughing and enjoying with each other in your own world.

Maybe they are not bad as you thought.

Taeyong’s intolerance of alcohol was known by everyone except him. He always insisted that he can handle a lot amount but would definitely pass out after half of the bottle. It was pretty strong. The four friends were having night pool party in the rooftop and it was pretty late and Taeyong suddenly banged his head on the table.

Oh he is wasted. The strong boy is sleeping now.

Jaehyun called you three times to check on you and let you know that they were going down and as earlier Taeyong stated that you asked him to bring a cocktail from the party. So, instead of your brother, he took the responsibility.

Three missed calls and you didn’t pick up. They were sure that before going to sleep. You would let Taeyong know about it but now they were panicked.

Johnny rushed down. He didn’t wait for the elevators and run down the stairs and rest two were bringing Taeyong down to the room.

Where were you?

Johnny knocked on your door. He waited for a response but nothing was audible. Licking his lips, he was about to ring the bell when he heard a faint buzzing sound. He leaned to check his doubt. He was correct.

His hand hovered on the handle and he pushed open it. Again, you didn’t lock the door. But then he might not have got this opportunity.

he entered the room and took a turn.

Your mouth was agape and eyes closed with throaty moans and hands clutching the bedsheet with sprawled across on it. And a pink vibrator was attached to your black panty.

Shamelessly, he was watching you. His pant was getting tight in a particular place and he gulped. He was not even moving but standing still, watching you with hungry eyes. He waited for you to cum. By seeing your desperation, he was sure you were near the climax and he patiently waited in his place in silence. You moaned out Mark’s name when you came undone.

So, you were thinking about him?

He smirked at your exhausted state in just your lingerie. You were panting. If you had wore it at the beach then he could have seen you like this earlier. You look sexy in bikinis and he was getting impatient to tear off the piece of clothes and have you in every way.

The ring of his phone made your eyes shot open and you hurriedly sat up. He picked up the call with holding your gaze. You gulped to see his dark eyes.

Jaehyun was on the call. Johnny’s voice echoed inside the room.

"Come to Y/n's room." He didn't say anything more but chuckled after he cut the call.

Like a predator he walked around the bed and you were sitting in the middle, still fazed by the orgasm. He bent to your side and before you could realize it, he snatched away the remote from your hand.

"What are you doing here?" You asked in a broken voice. He raised his brows and titled his head, "did you say something?"

he had a dominance in his voice.

"You should not be here" you gulped and raised your voice a bit, "if my brother finds out."

"Oh listen darling, your brother won't know what is going to happen and even if your brother finds out, it will be too late."

You heard the door open and shut and sound of the lock. Jaehyun and Mark emerged from the corner of the room.

"Oh dude what are you doing here?" Mark was confused and looking between you and the tall man. "I see our little princess was having her little fun without us." Jaehyun smirked as he noticed the vibrator and the remote in his friend's grasp.

"Shut up. You three. What are you even doing here? Where is Taeyong?"

"He is knocked out halfway through." Mark chuckled.

Johnny paced to the edge of the bed and in front of you. He smirked while scanning your whole body. He has never seen you in such a way and he was amused that you were not even telling them to go out. "Oh Mark. You know, she was calling you earlier."

"Really but why?" Mark was smiling but he was curious.

"Darling, are you telling them or should I do the honor?" Johnny was crouching down in front of you, resting his hand on the edge of the bed and staring at you. "I—I don't know what you are saying."

Johnny chuckled, "oh don't say like you weren't moaning out his name." "What?" You were surprised to know that he heard you. For how long was he there?

"Oh really?...I want to see that." Mark was excited.

Before you could protest, the sound of vibrator earned a gasp from you. You watched how Johnny had a smug look and Jaehyun whispered something into his ear, widening his grin.

You watched in horror that they were exchanging glances and communicating between them. your head fell low and hands clutching the bedsheet tightly and you leaned forward.

The vibration was in low mode and you wanted more. no you needed more. You closed your eyes and focused on the sound and vibration filling you up. The tightening of the knot but still the feeling of emptiness was there because the speed was too low. You panted out. "More...fast please..."

“You are asking for more from your brother’s friends? Won’t you ask us to go?”

You were whining and your hand hovered over the vibrator to rub it against your folds and press it deeper.

Someone held you back. And you cry out. The vibration increased and you leaned backward, throwing your head back on the person's shoulder. The same whispering voice from the plane. "Is it okay now, princess? Don't you dare to do anything. We are here to take care of you."

Your hands were locked by him and his bare chest was against your hot body, earning groans from him. Every little squirm of yours was making him painfully hard. There was a reek of alcohol from them.

You were reaching to the climax and it was very obvious and the way Jaehyun's husky groans filling your ears. You swear you will come soon.

"Are you near?" You nodded.

Jaehyun chuckled into your ears and licked it, "words, princess." "Y—yes Jaehyun...Jo—hhny."

"It's daddy for you." Johnny said in a darker voice. Your back arched and you leaned back to Jaehyun as you were about to get loose but Johnny had some other plans.

You were whimpering, "why? Please daddy...I want to cum."

he turned the vibrator off.

"No. You had your fun earlier and now it's for us to have our turn."

He climbed the bed in front of you and hovered over you. You tried to scoot back and get away from the hold but they held you in place.

"Mark I guess someone is impatient."

Mark nodded on Johnny's statement and watched your watery eyes staring back at Johnny in a frustrated expression.

"I heard she was moaning my name and I really want to see how it's going to be when I literally will fuck her."

"Oh you will. But you can wait for your turn. Let me make my darling taste a bit of my fun." Johnny was using the nickname casually but it was turning you on.

He hooked a finger with your panty and slid it down very slowly. His movements were painfully slow and you couldn't even do anything to get rid of the little piece of clothing faster.

He let it hung at one of your ankles and pushed your legs apart, you were pressing them too tight.

He placed himself between them so that you couldn't close your legs and he dipped a finger inside of your wet folds. You moaned and raised your hips into his hand when he pressed your belly down. "Uh uh you are not getting like this...patience is the key here. Look you are so needy that you didn't attend the party because you were off into your little world."

Mark added, "if she had asked us then we would have had the fun together."

Watching how you were not catching on with the conversation, Johnny curled his finger, keeping the same pace from earlier. When he watched you squeezing his second finger in so easily. He pulled his hand out and pushed it inside your parted lips. "Suck."

You were not needed to say twice and you rolled your tongues around his fingers and licked your juices off.

"Princess is doing so good."

Jaehyun had a cheerful tone and then suddenly Johnny slapped your pussy to get your attention back on him before pulling down his pant. You were so impatient and didn't want him to take longer. Jaehyun unhooked your bra but still your front was covered. His hands caressed your bare back and you shivered to his touch.

Johnny's yellow shirt was unbuttoned and your now freed hands went up to touch the biceps. He chuckled and held your wrist to guide you through his muscles. You were so distracted when he suddenly entered you. You cried out because of the size and stretch and the pain was unbearable. Johnny had a satisfied look on his face but soon changed into a worry when he saw your wrinkled forehead and you were wiggling on Jaehyun’s lap.

Your eyes rolled back when he started moving. The pace began with slow and deep movements and each move burned the connected soft area. Johnny was groaning above you and his fingers were tightly entangled with yours, pressing down your palms into the mattress. His loose shirt rode up and the flexing muscles were visible.

“Fuck Y/n…I didn’t know that sweet little one…has such a good pussy.” Johnny increased his pace and your moans became louder.

Your sweet moans earned a shaky groan from a corner of the room. You looked over to the place to see Mark was pumping himself with his head thrown back and cursing and moaning out your name. He was imagining the image of how it was you when moaning out his name when you were pleasuring yourself.

Jaehyun chuckled, “Oh Johnny, she likes to get fuck by her brother’s best friends.”

“Is that right, Y/n?” Johnny asked you but your foggy mind didn’t register the question. So, he gripped your jaw and forced to make you look at him. Your teary eyes stared back at him when he slowed the movements.

“I asked you something, darling. Do you like getting fucked by your brother’s best friends?”

You clenched around him on hearing his question.

“Yes…yes daddy…I like to be fucked by you…I—I want to be fucked by you all.” You whined when he pushed deeper but continued in sloppy movements.

His smirk widened and head dipped in the crook of your neck. He sucked and kissed all your sensitive spots. He pulled down the bra and sucked your nipples. He was leaving red marks all over your chest and throat. Your nipples were erect and hard and when he was sucking it hard, you were losing your mind. “Fuck…it’s so good.”

“Is it feeling good? Johnny making you feel good?”

You moaned out, “Yes Jaehyun, he is making me feel good. I—I want to cum please…please…”

The fast thrusts were almost ripping you apart into two and his moans and groans into your ear was nearing you so much that your tears were streaming down. The sloppy sound and your moans filling out the room. But Johnny hushed you with a heated kiss. He was hungry. Teeth clashing to each and biting down your lips, making you gasp and clench around him. He was hungry to finally have his best friend’s sister under him. The sister his friend protected too much from them was now whimpering under and that boosted his ego.

“Cum…ah-Fuck…” You both came undone together.

Mark cursed out at the same time with both of you.

You were floating with blurry vision and he rode out his high. He pulled out and chuckled at your fucked out state. Before any juice could leak out of you, he pressed your legs together. He started at you but you cut him off.

“I am on birth control pill.” You stated.

“Why? Were you expecting something like this to happen?” Johnny chuckled and stood up.

“No. but just in case…” Johnny pecked your lips. You were surprised as to why he did it but you let the kiss linger on you longer.

Mark interjected, “So you were planning to have a one-night stand on this trip somewhere?”

You licked your lips and nodded, “yeah something like that.” You closed your eyes to take deep breaths. Johnny excused himself after putting on the pant and went to his room.

You heard shuffles around your bed and before you knew what was happening, Jaehyun was smiling down at you from between your legs. You tried to scoot back but he pressed you down with a smirk and dark look on his face.

He was serious with dark eyes just contrast to the white unbuttoned shirt on him. He looks good in white and later you have to compliment him about that.

“What are you thinking, princess?” he asked you while positioning himself to your entrance.

“you look good in white.” you finally complimented him.

He smiled, “thanks princess. But I would look better with your white cum around my dick.”

His tip toying with your folds. You whined and Mark laughed when he sat beside you. He removed your bra and threw it away. Jaehyun thanked Mark and started pumping your breasts. You gasped and moaned. Mark was staring at you with hooded eyes. Jaehyun flicked your nipples and pinched them.

It was paining but it was sending a pleasurable jolt throughout your body.

He straightened himself and placed his palm over your breasts and pushed himself inside you. You gasped out loudly and he chuckled on feeling how you were still tight and clenching around him after his friend fucked you so hard earlier.

“you are taking me so well, princess.”

His pace was deeper and faster from the start and your sensitive bud was throbbing in pain. Skin slapping sound and his skill-full fingers drawing pattern over your curves and hands sliding smoothly all over your body. Your whines and his moans getting louder with each passing second and he leaned down to peck you. You opened your eyes and wiggled your hands from, under the grip of Mark’s strong hold. Your weak hands slid down Jaehyun’s soft skin and you smiled.

“Jaehyun…”

Why are you even smiling? He took a hold of your wrist and placed a kiss on your fingers.

“You are really pretty, Y/n…you were always pretty.”

He finally connected his lips with yours and you moaned into his mouth when he hit a right spot, making you arch into his body. Your hips moving up and down to get him more-close to you. As if it was even possible. He pressed you down and there was a sweet rhythm to the movement of his lips and hips.

You were lost in the kiss and gasping for air but he was sucking you so hard that the little air left inside you would be sucked out. He finally pulled apart and thrusted deeper. When you let out a broken moan, his hands moved up to grip your throat and with a moderate pressure, he pressed it tight.

“The innocent little sister of Taeyong is whining with my fingers wrapped around her throat and getting fucked. What will your brother think of you getting fucked by his best-friend?”

You couldn’t reply but mumbled something. Mark laughed and patted your head.

You whined and gasped. Your one hand gripped his wrist and other wiggling under his strong hold on your wrist. His mouth skillfully working on your nipples, leaving bruise marks around it. It was too much. You were overstimulated by all these pleasures in different parts. The pace became sloppy and both of you were near the edge.

“if you want to cum then cum. Cum on my dick and paint me white.” He said and put a little more pressure on the side of your throat. His voice vibrating on your nipples and his hot breath hitting around the sensitive area.

You gasped and let it loose as soon as his words fell from the lips. He thrusted faster and you whined. After a few more thrusts, he bottomed down into you. “fuck-“

His hands were at the same place but weakly holding you, his head resting on your breast and he placed a soft and long kiss on your nipple before retreating himself.

Vulnerable was not a word for you. You were broken. Your body, your pulping veins, your sensitive used spots and your mind. Your broken voice couldn’t even dare to speak up anything more.

Mark.

You didn’t know what were the thoughts running through his mind. His two other friends were just monster fuckers. Thinking about him fucking you after they caught you moaning out his name was scratching a mark direct to your core.

You expected Jaehyun to leave but he propped himself on the sofa and leaned back with closed eyes and heaved a sigh.

Was he regretting?

Your attention was brought to Mark when he gripped your jaw and pulled your face to the side to face him. He was smirking unlike before when he was sweetly smiling at you. His jeans was long forgotten lying down on the floor and he pulled down the boxer. Your burning body was sensitive to a little amount of air caused by the swish of movements around you.

He was still sitting to your side, hand gripping your jaw. Your weak hands held his wrist dearly.

“mark…please fuck me.”

He poked his cheek with the tongue, “why? Didn’t Jaehyun gave you the satisfaction and also Johnny?”

As if on cut Johnny entered the room in a fresh set of trouser and a plain white t-shirt. He propped himself beside Jaehyun.

“What’s with my name?” Johnny’s voice made you squirm.

“I want you…no I need you, Mark. Please.” You literally begged. His smirk widened.

He suddenly hovered on top of you and you were surprised by his sudden fast movement. He was excited. Something in him shifted when you begged to him. He was no more that soft and excited friend like last four days. In front of you was a hungry monster who was ready to devour you.

His hands trailed down your curves. He pushed your legs up and watched how your hole was leaking down the juices and he groaned to the sight. He pushed up your swelled breasts and pumping them, earning whines and moans from you. Your tears were the most beautiful thing to him at the moment.

His hands trailed higher and rested on your jaw, fingers caressing your cheek. Your tired eyes still locked with his hooded ones.

“you will show me how you were moaning my name with this pretty mouth. Okay?”

You nodded. He slapped you and gripped your jaw.

“Okay?”

“Yes…Mark…I will show you...please…”

No prep was needed and so he pushed your legs apart as far as possible. He slowly entered you and your gasp got lost into his mouth when he pressed down his lips to you. Just like others, his kiss was also reeking of alcohol. You were getting drunk just by their kisses.

His kiss was between of hunger and making love. Once he was being a sweet kisser and the next moment, he was eating you out. His teeth sucking yours making it a plump.

His movements were slow. Too slow. You wanted more but the way he slapped your pussy when you moved up, you knew he was not giving you what you wanted.

He broke the kiss but his lips never left your heated skin, his lips pressing soft kisses on yours and trailed down to your jaw and then to the crook of your neck.

“Mark…”

“So that’s how you sound like baby…fuck…you are sucking me in so good...you sound so sexy...”

“More please…please Mark.”

You were crying and repeating his name like a chant. It was making him painfully hard to control himself not to cum again and again into you. His one hand pumping your breast and other caressing your head. He leaned to attach his lips to your left out nipple.

Every second was like a rising of burning flame. Your body was on fire. He was overstimulating you to hear his name from your lips on repeat. He didn’t want to end the moment so fast. He could hear your moans all day long if its need to fuck you everytime. His one hand dipped down to rub on your bud and you cry out before Johnny inserted a finger into your mouth. You quickly wrapped around his fingers to suck for your dear life.

“don’t want to let this whole floor know that how good your brother’s best friends are fucking you, right?” he asked you mockingly.

Mark added, “Taeyong might can wake up too.”

They laughed to see you in mercy of their friend and tears falling continuously from the eyes.

“Ah fuck- baby…fuck…are you near?”

You couldn’t reply when the finger was deep down your throat.

Mark swatted the hand away and gripped your jaw.

“Do you want to cum?”

Your vision was blurry but still you nodded and replied, “yes…yes Mark…please”

“then cum and say my name.”

You did as he told you. Your vision was white and your whole body jerked.

He was thrusting deeper and faster and soon he was panting on top of yours and hot liquid filling you up.

The same euphoric feeling rising up to your fuzzy mind.

Mark laid down beside you. You both were tired but no one was as compared to you.

“I guess someone is tired for the first time while on a vacation.” Johnny smiled at you before patting your head.

You dreamily smiled and nodded.

He asked Jaehyun to go back to his shared room with Taeyong or he might could get in trouble if Taeyong sees him missing in the room. He sent a smile towards you before laving with Johhny. It was only you and Mark.

“I will take care of you. I have promised, Taeyong.”

he promised Taeyong.

He let you sleep and as promised, he cleaned you up before cleaning himself. He tugged you to sleep. Before leaving the room, he watched you for a while how you were sleeping peacefully and something inside him was tugging not to leave you alone. But there was no choice. He turned off the lights and left the room with interlocking it.

He is just your brother’s best-friend.

The next morning when your mind registered that you were awake, you didn’t open your eyes. The first thought came to your mind was that you were all alone. They all just left you after fucking. You clutched the blankets tight, you cried silently. Was it just all about one night? Nothing more? Today you have to pretend as if nothing happened last night. Silent tears fall from your eyes.

“Are you okay? Do you need anything?” Taeyong’s worried voice and a warm hand on your cheek reminded you of their lingering touches on your skin.

You didn’t want to open your eyes. Even if you wanted to think of that as a dream but the soreness and the paining aches all over your body would be giving you reality check. Still. You didn’t want to worry your brother so you slowly looked at him and he was sitting by the side of your head, smiling a little.

“when I woke up, Jaehyun told me that you are feeling sick since last night and I was drunk so he took care of you.” He innocently said.

Took care of you.

Huh! And then left…

You nodded.

“You are crying…is your headache worse…do you need medicines?”

“headache?”

“yeah…he told me not to disturb you today. It’s better to let you rest for a while.”

Yeah. Headache. Rest for a while.

The words were not setting in right places.

He stood up, “I have to meet an university friend today who works at a company here so we are going to hang out today. So take some rest. Just call me if you need anything or I will tell one of them-“

“No I will call you.”

“Okay, see you later.”

And he turned to the space to get out of your room from where they all went last night. You didn’t hear your door closed but heard some talking between your brother and Johnny. His voice tugged at your heart. You were sitting on the bed, leaning against the headboard. You looked down to yourself wearing a t-shirt and shorts. A tear fell on your hand.

Why were you even crying?

It was all about you four being horny last night. Nothing more.

The close of door shut jolted you. You still didn’t look up but closed your eyes to let yourself understand that you shouldn’t be so sensitive of having sex with them.

“y/n…”

Did you hear right?

No no you were dreaming.

“y/n…are you okay?”

You looked up to see Mark looking at you with hurtful eyes. Is he regretting for the last night?

You didn’t reply. Two more figures emerged from the corner, what were they doing at door for so long.

“why are you here?” you whispered out the words.

“Isn't this the same thing you asked last night?” johnny stated.

You watched his movements when he came beside you and sat down to pat your head and comb your hairs with his long fingers. You fought back the urge to lean to his touch. Jaehyun sat to your other side and caressed your cheeks.

More tears streamed down your eyes.

Jaehyun wiped them off. “Why are you crying?”

“Don’t give me false hopes. I know you all are regretting for the last night and so you left or maybe you see it like a regular fun but please I…I don’t know how to feel now.”

“then don’t fight back.” Johnny said without any emotion visible.

Mark added, “y/n…it’s a very complicated situation we are in…we are your brother’s best friends and you are his sister. If somehow this last night becomes a problem between us then the friendship will be hampered. You are our friend too.”

Mark scooted closer to you.

“you all were the first ones to have sex with me…”

They didn’t reply but suddenly Mark pulled you in his embrace. You could feel a different set of hands caressing your back. You started crying in his hold. He patted your head.

“I know... you know we were never your friends but still we admired you since you were a baby. We have watched you every time how you whined for little things, your giggles, your sweet smile, your annoyed face whenever we showed up at your house and when your brother teasing you. Our eyes were always on you.” Mark words were dipped in softness.

You whispered, “I thought you all hated me.”

Johnny laughed, “never. It was your brother who never wanted us to be near you. He thought that his little sister should not be near us. He is good brother. He loves you a lot.”

He really is.

“I don’t want to leave you all after yesterday. I know I’m being selfish but I really don’t know why I'm feeling this but I cant handle if you all leave me.” You said and turned to rest two of them from Mark’s embrace, Jaehyun’s hands fall from your back.

Jaehyun added, “we don’t want to leave you too. Yesterday when I saw you in that state, I felt a possessiveness inside me that no one should get to look at you and I own you. So…..”

He looked at everyone and sighed.

“so?..” your soft voice tugged at their heart.

Johnny completed his sentence, “so we need to have a talk with Taeyong.”

“You all will?” you were surprised.

Mark turned you around, “don’t you want us? Or do you want only me?”

“All three of you. Call me selfish but I love you all.”

“We love you too, y/n. promise. we will take care of you.” Johnny said and placed a kiss on top of your head.

“she is still a baby.” Jaehyun said and laughed loudly.

The others also joined in. You clutched to Mark’s shirt and smiled a little before snuggling into the smell of his cologne.

Your brother kept you away from them. But then you became too close to them. Closer than being just friends. The foreign swaggers is your new memory of your holidays. It was meant to be a family holiday like every year. but this was different and the best.

Also, you don’t hate your brother’s best friends like you thought.

They are no more just your brother’s best friends. They are your hearts: the foreign swaggers.

Are you going to regret it?

thank me coz i was going to end it on a sad note but then I thought to make it a bit emotional and happy in the last moement.

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades @sexygrass @minkyuncutie @loveforred

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notjustjavierpena · 1 year ago

Note

Hiii!!! Can you do some phone sex with dbf!joel? I’ve seen it around but I’d love your take on it 😈

Pillow

Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator

A/N: I love you, anon. This is so fun to write! Keep it coming.

Summary: Leaving for college after fucking your dad’s best friend a whole summer is sure to bring along some withdrawals symptoms.

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader/you (no y/n)

Tags: +18 smut (MDNI!), pillow humping, f masturbation, daddy kink, phone sex, dirty talk, m masturbation, mutual masturbation, somehow also a bit of fluff

Word count: 2.3k

Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48953992

Pillow

Physically, Joel is annoyingly far away from you when you finally leave for college again, but in your mind, he is very much present all the time during classes. He floods your brain with filth, sweet nothings, a sudden memory of how it feels to kiss him and how his fingers feel inside you.

You miss him and it’s frustrating.

Frustrating to a degree that you haven’t quite experienced before, one that makes you want to say a naughty word just to see him drive across the country to tell you off. It must be withdrawal symptoms, you think, as a result of spending a whole summer being so close to him. Every day bouncing on his dick with his hand on your throat, able to see him, have him, whenever you wanted.

Yes, you have his number in your phone’s contacts, but so far all you have messaged him is that you’ve arrived safely, and his dry response of a simple smiling emoji and a thumbs up tells you that he is not the type to text regularly. You’re surprised he even knows how to use emoticons.

It’s Friday night after your first week back and you are alone in your room. The dormitories are quiet, empty of students who have gone out to celebrate the so far successful survival of being back to having their noses in the books again. Even your roommate has gone out despite her being notoriously known for staying in to read ahead. You wonder if something’s happened to her over the summer that’s changed her — just like you have changed from enthusiastic to filled with dread, unable to say why to anyone.

“Just don’t feel like going out to get hammered,” you’d said instead, head in your pillow as you had tried to hide your blues. Is this heartbreak?

Your face is still squished into your pillow, arms wrapped around it to feel something close to an embrace. All the other decorative ones have been thrown onto the floor. Your blanket has been discarded too since it’s still warm at night. You have one leg tucked under your body as you scroll mindlessly through your Instagram feed and watch stories of people in bars, singing loudly and drinking beer.

It’s been an hour since you texted Joel, the famous non-texter, that you missed him. The radio silence is driving you insane, even more so because you do not wish to be the person who demands constant attention.

But the text has sent your heartbeat skyrocketing. Yet the pulse isn’t just evident in your chest; it’s moved down south so quickly. You miss him, yes, but fuck, you miss his mouth, soft tongue on your clit, pads of his fingers rubbing against that little spot inside you that made you a believer. Though above all, you miss his cock that fits perfectly inside of your, now wet, cunt.

Eyeing the floor, your gaze falls upon your new silk pillow. It was a birthday present from your roommate, something about the silk covering being good for your hair’s health, but right now, it’s going to serve a greater purpose.

You snatch it from the floor and haul it onto the bed, impatiently getting onto your knees to pull your hoodie over your head, exposing your chest, and tug your underwear down to your knees. It’s not like you’re in a hurry since it’s still early, but you are too lazy to take your panties all the way off.

You consider getting up and locking the door for a moment, but you should be able to hear if your drunk roomie stumbles towards your shared room, so the need to get off wins over your laziness once again.

From previous experience, you bunch up the pillow how you like it. The silk is tricky since it’s smoother than your normal pillow, but you manage to straddle the fabric how you want it after holding it in place. It’s so soft and comfortable against your very sensitive skin, cooling against your wet heat.

You reach down between your legs to spread yourself open a little, letting out a soft sound as the bunched-up stuffing of the cushion settles right where you need it the most. Your heart is beating out your chest as you start rutting your pussy against the silk, seeking out some kind of disappearance act for the constant ache and dread in your body from being exposed to missing Joel fucking Miller.

You get lost in the sensation quickly. Warmth spreads across your chest as your breathing becomes heavier. Your sensitive clit throbs, earning friction that gets you humming in pleasure. If you close your eyes, you can almost feel his lips ghosting along your neck and you imagine that he is the one touching you between your legs, chest towards your back, and arm around your waist, so he can cup your mound and plunge two fingers into you. Your walls clench, a higher-pitched moan bouncing off the walls.

You grind harder against the pillow. Your thighs tense a little as you rock back and forth, cunt fluttering as you feel closer to the edge by the second. Oh, how you wish to have his face between your thighs right now. His warm, thick tongue fucking you open as his nose bumps against your swollen nub.

Your hips stutter. Not yet. You wonder if you could wait long enough for a reply. Probably not.

You move to get on your hands and knees, looking down between you and the pillow. There’s a stain on the silk, your arousal having seeped onto the fabric and made a darkened wet patch. Your cunt clenches once more, and another sticky drop of slick drips from you.

“Shit,” you moan quietly at the sight. You are about to reach for your phone to cheekily snap a photo of your mess to send to Joel, but before you can open the camera, a message from Joel ticks in.

You almost come at the mere sight of seeing his name on your phone. It’s still coded in as Joel (dad’s buddy). There’s no need to open it as you read it at the top of the screen.

I have some time. Can I call you? -JM.

You don’t reply. Instead, you call him without a second thought. The beeping sound of your phone ringing has you shivering, but he picks up on the third ring.

“Joel,” you breathe shakily into the receiver.

You hear Joel’s breath hitch in his throat at the tone of your voice. You imagine that he has tensed up since there’s a pause on the other end of the line. Then, “What're you doing?”

“Thinking about you.”

“What are you wearing?” From his tone, you can hear that it’s meant as a joke with a tinge of mockery too. You suppose that you deserve that, but you won’t let him get away with being snarky about this. He needs to know this isn’t just to get adventurous with him, but rather to relieve you of misery.

“Nothing, Daddy, I miss you… It hurts,” you pout despite him not being able to see.

“Where does it hurt?” He plays along. All mockery has vanished. He clears his throat, it sounds dry.

“My little pussy. She needs you,” you make sure your bed squeaks as you start moving on the pillow again. Joel is quiet except for a deep exhale as he listens. It has your head swimming once more in record time, clit throbbing impatiently as you’ve already edged yourself once.

“Fuck, baby. I can hear ya. Got anythin' between those pretty legs?”

“Not my hand,” you say truthfully. You put your phone on speaker to grip the edge of the pillow, snapping your hips forward in your seat.

“What then?”

“My pink silk pillow,” you moan softly as heat starts pooling below your navel again. You want him to join you, but you’re not going to ask.

“Jesus Christ,” Joel breathes deeply in through his nose, a half sigh and moan, “We’ve been apart for a week and you already do this. Gettin' out of hand, baby girl. Don’t ya think so?”

“I can’t function without your cock, Daddy” you feed his ego. It won’t harm anyone because you’ve found your statement to be absolutely true, “Miss being sore. You made me hurt so good, Joel.”

“And now you’ve replaced me with… bedding?” Joel teases, but you hear him shuffling around like he is moving through his house.

“Yeah,” you giggle breathlessly, bunching the pillow up even tighter. You wiggle your hips to seat yourself against the silk as before, a little crease of it nudging against your clit. It makes you push your pelvis harshly yet slowly into it. An idea pops into your mind, “Wanna see?”

You hear the sound of sheets, the clinking sound of his belt being unbuckled, and then the pull of his zipper. That was quicker than you thought.

“Hold on,” he replies and moves his mouth away from the receiver. You prop up your phone against the wall on the floating shelf above the head of your bed, listening to the faint sound of pants being shoved down.

When he finally calls you and the FaceTime logo appears on the screen, you press the green answer button and stare right into the camera. If this was a planned call, you would have thought about your looks and your pose, but Joel will see you just how you are right now.

He isn’t disappointed.

“Fuck, look at you,” he says instead of hello. You cannot see his cock, only his broad naked shoulders, mouth that’s slightly agape, and his eyes, which have become a darker brown with his arousal.

“Daddy’s so potty-mouthed,” you reply innocently, sitting up a little straighter to show off to the camera. You move slowly up and down on the pillow, back arched to push out your chest and one hand curled around your breast.

“How long have you been draggin' your cunt all over that pink cushion, young lady?” He asks in a low voice. His shoulder is moving in a way that tells you enough, and if you could close your eyes without feeling rude, you’d be able to see how it looked when stroked his dick.

“A while, a little after I texted you,” you reply. In the corner, you can see yourself moving on the pillow as your tits bounce slightly. It turns you on to see yourself masturbating more than you’d like to admit, “I’m so horny for you.”

“Bet you are,” his eyes roam hungrily over the screen, “So what are you waiting for?”

“What do you mean?” You pant.

“You want me to see you come, ain't that the plan?” His breathing is accompanied by the sound of his fist pumping his cock, “To show me how good you can treat her when I’m not around to do it?”

You nod as you moan loudly. Sweat has started to form on your chest and breasts, glistening prettily for him as you thrust your hips faster to chase your climax. It climbs steadily, like a coil tightening in your abdomen, starting from behind your cunt.

On the other end of the line, Joel’s heavy breathing is slowly turning into moaning as well. He is getting closer as well, trying his hardest to get to where you are.

“Daddy,” you cry feebly, “I’m gonna fu— come.”

A tingle is creeping up your spine. You’re so close, letting go of your breast to pull the fabric taut with both hands as you rock against it. Where you’ve been panting before, you hold your breath right before you come.

Every single drop of tension in your body seeps out of you as the coil finally snaps. Your orgasm hits you like a runaway train. Your world fades from view for a few seconds, your mouth hanging open in a loud groan. You ride it out without hiding your pleasure from the world, hoping that you truly are the only person in your dormitory right now, concentrating on staring into the camera lens as you gain your vision back.

Joel swears at the sight, speeds up his hand. He scrambles for his phone to angle it towards his dick.

“I’m gonna wreck that little cunt when I see you next time,” he promises through gritted teeth, suddenly letting out a deep grunt of satisfaction as he comes. He paints his hand, nearly dropping his phone amid the intensity, “Fuck, sweetheart.”

You’ve collapsed into your bed, pulled your phone down to hold it away from your face, and stare lovingly at Joel as the camera returns to his face. He looks a little flustered, cheeks slightly pink from the blood coursing through his veins.

“Stay on the phone with me for a while. I promise not to fall asleep,” you plead, swinging a leg out over the edge to pick the blanket up from the floor with your toes. You throw it over yourself, suddenly chilly when the air hits your sweaty skin. It’ll be easier than hiding the evidence by cleaning up too.

“Alright, lemme go wash my hands first,” he says, leaving the frame. You hear his feet patting across the bedroom floor, but then you hear nothing else.

When Joel returns, he gets under the covers as well, “So, how was your first week at—“

You’re snoring ever so slightly. He smiles to himself but doesn’t end the call just yet, watches you fall deeper into slumber for a while before deciding it’s enough. He shoots you a text before plugging his phone in for the night.

Fell asleep on me, Sleeping Beauty. I miss you too. Props to you for not getting foul-mouthed like me. I’ll remember that. -JM.

If you would like to follow my writing then go follow @notjustjavierpena-fics and turn on notifications 💖❤️

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal characters #the last of us #joel miller x you #my writing #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel x reader #joel x you #joel miller smut #joel the last of us #pedro pascal #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal fanfic #joel miller imagine #joel tlou #dbf!joel

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americasass91 · 1 year ago

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Use Me

Hello there! I know I’ve been M.I.A. for awhile. And literally haven’t written anything in like 8 months. I’ve been going through a shit ton. (Divorce, job change, all kinds of fun stuff) And I really lost my spark to write. And then the Fnaf movie came out. And seeing Josh Hutcherson on screen again lit a fire inside of me! That boy was my original crush (long before Evans). Peeta Mellark will forever have a piece of my heart. That being said, here’s a little something starring Mike Schmidt! I know, I know. It’s not a Chris Evans character? What’s wrong with me? Josh is fucking pretty. That’s what’s wrong with me. Like, I have a problem. Don’t get me wrong, I still think Chris is pretty and hope the best for him. But…he’s not been my muse lately. I said a long time ago that I wanted Josh to fuck me like a screen door in a hurricane. And it apparently still holds true today! So, I hope you enjoy it even though this is not a part of your regularly scheduled programming! Also, this takes place after the events of FNAF. Also, Also. Not sure if the people on my Taglist for Chris’ characters want to be tagged in Josh’s. If so, just let me know!

*DISCLAIMER*, If you’re under 18, this is nothing for you to be reading. Go away.

Words: 3.3k

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Smut, p in v smut, oral(f rec), unprotected sex, language, Mike being good, um I think that’s it

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“Listen Y/N, I’m gonna need you to stay and work the next shift.”

You turn around and look at your manager as if she had suddenly grown 3 heads. “Excuse me? I don’t think I heard you right. It sounded like you said you needed me to stay and work the next 8 hour shift.”

She rolls her eyes as she goes back to charting the current patient she’s working on. “You know that’s exactly what I said. Look, I have no other options. Hannah called off.”

“Again? This is like the third day in a row! How is that fair exactly?” You put your patient’s paperwork down and cross your arms over your chest as you stare at her expectantly.

She doesn’t even bother looking at you as she answers. “I don’t know what to tell you Y/N. She says she’s sick. I can’t have her come in if she’s sick.”

Now it’s your turn to roll your eyes. “If by sick you mean hungover! She literally posted on Instagram last night about her night out on the town!”

She glances over at you. “There’s no way to prove if that was from last night or if it's older. Now just get back to work and I’ll let you have an hour and a half break instead of an hour.”

Now you’re pissed. “Yeah, see, that's not going to work for me. I’ve already been here for 16 hours because Kim was late. I’m not working Hannah’s whole ass shift. I have plans. I finally get to see my boyfriend after weeks because our schedules weren’t lining up. I’m not staying.”

“You really don’t have a choice. I wasn’t really asking you, I was telling you. There’s no one else to cover.”

Tears started welling up in your eyes out of frustration, exhaustion, and the possibility of not being able to see Mike again. “There’s a bunch of other people that can cover! What about you? You’ve only been here 8 hours. It would make more sense for you to stay.”

She turns in her chair to look at you now. “Y/N, I have actual plans. My husband has a work party. And the rest of us have husbands and children to attend to. Not just ‘hanging out with my boyfriend.’

Now you’re seeing red. “So what you’re saying is because I’m the only nurse on this floor not married, I get the shitty end of the deal and have to cover when other people call off?”

“No. If you had legit plans then I’d be more sympathetic. But you haven’t even been with this boy that long. You don’t need to spend every free moment with him.”

“I’m sorry but who do you think you are? My mother? Because I’m a grown ass woman. And if I want to hang with my boyfriend on my time off then I’m going to! I don’t really need your approval for it. I’m not staying.”

You grab your Stanley and start heading towards the locker room to grab your stuff.

“Y/N! If you don’t stay, then you can forget about this job.”

You turn around just before reaching the end of the hallway. “Well, then I guess you’re going to have to stick around and cover Hannah’s shift. Stick it up your ass, Jan. I quit.”

You don’t even stay to hear what she has to say. You quickly run to your locker and grab all of your stuff out before you start to cry. You can’t believe you just quit. And it’s not just because of your boyfriend. You haven’t been treated right since the first week you started. This was just the last straw. You just hope Mike won’t be disappointed in you.

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After a quick shower and outfit change at home, you reluctantly find yourself pulling into Mike’s driveway and getting out of the car. You haven’t gotten to see him in about 3 weeks and you know you look like shit from not only your long ass shift but also because you cried on the way over.

You head to the front door and open it up. He always leaves the door unlocked when he knows you’re coming over, and get hit with the aroma of pasta. Mike’s cooking you dinner. That makes you want to start crying all over again. He’s the sweetest.

“Babe? Is that you?” You hear him call from the back of the house. He quickly comes towards the front and sees you. His smile falters when he sees the state you’re in. “Babe, are you okay? What happened?” He quickly wraps you up in a hug.

You try your best to keep it together but a few tears fall. “I quit today.”

He pulls out of the hug but keeps his arms around you. “You did? Babe, that’s fantastic!” He pulls you back in for another hug and picks you up to twirl you around.

Your mood instantly lifts and you can’t help but laugh. “It is?”

He sets you down and pulls you in for a quick kiss. “Of course it is! That place was treating you like shit! And Jan was a bitch! What finally made you do it?”

He lets go of all but your hand and leads you into the kitchen so he can continue making spaghetti. He sets you down at the table and pours you a nice big glass of wine he bought just for tonight. “I want to hear all about it.”

He goes back to the stove and continues making dinner while you rehash the last 16 hours.

He turns around with the sauce spoon in his hand and his other on his hip. “Hannah called off again? Jesus, how does she still have a job? Didn’t she do this to you last year during Christmas?”

Oh, shit. You had forgotten about that. She did do this last year! You had plans to fly home and see your family for the holidays when Hannah unexpectedly came down with ‘the flu’. Jan had called and needed you to work since nobody else could cover. You felt like since you were still new at the time that you couldn’t say no. Now you’re getting pissy all over again.

“Oh my god! You’re right! Maybe the bitch has some vendetta out against me. I’ve never done anything to her though! I’ve been nothing but nice!”

Just then your phone dings, alerting you of a text. You quickly check it. It’s from Hannah.

I can’t believe you threw a tantrum and quit just because I wasn’t feeling my best and couldn’t come in. Wow. All so you can hang out with your piece of shit delinquent boyfriend. You sure have your priorities straight.

“Fucking cunt!” You yell as you throw your phone across the table. Then immediately you slap your hands over your mouth just as Mike turns around to see what you’re yelling about.

“What’s wrong? Who was it?”

You remove your hands from your mouth. “Mike, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to curse that loud. I hope Abby didn’t hear me.”

He waves you off. “Babe, she’s not even here. She got invited to a sleepover at Natalie’s house. We’re alone. You’re good.”

You sigh in relief. “Thank god! I don’t want any of my bad habits to rub off on her.”

Mike just chuckles and turns back to the sauce. “If she turns out anything like you, I’d be entirely okay with that.”

You can’t help but feel a blush creep up your neck. He was always saying sweet stuff like that. You get up and hug him from behind and press a kiss to the back of his neck. “You’re too sweet.”

He turns around in your arms and grabs your face and gives you a proper, toe-curling kiss. “I mean it.”

After a few more shared kisses, Mike finishes up dinner and fixes you both a plate and a glass of wine for himself. As you’re sitting there twirling your spaghetti around your fork, you can’t help but think about Hannah’s text again. And then all of the little snide remarks she’s ever made to you come flooding back.

“Babe?”

You snap out of your thoughts and Mike comes back into focus. “Yeah?”

He puts his fork down. “I asked if there was something wrong with the spaghetti? You’ve hardly touched it.”

You look down at your plate and realize you’ve just been twirling it around your fork. “No, it’s fine. Just thinking about what Hannah said and how much it pisses me off. I’m sorry, I’m not meaning to ruin our time together.”

He smiles and grabs both of your plates and gets up and places them on the counter. He comes back over and holds his hand out to you. “Come on.”

You grab his hand with no hesitation and let him pull you out of your chair and let him lead you to his bedroom.

He turns around to face you right before you get to his bed. “First of all, you could never ruin our time together. I love getting to spend time with you no matter what. Second of all, it sounds like you need to let out some anger and need a distraction.”

You can’t help but feel all tingly at the smirk he’s giving you. “What did you have in mind?”

He backs up a little and sits on the bed and looks up at you. “Use me, Y/N.”

You shake your head. “What? What do you mean?”

He reaches out to grab your hands to pull you towards him. “I mean use me. Use me to distract yourself and to take your anger out on. I’ll be a good boy and do whatever you need.”

That almost had your knees buckling. “Oh.” He lifts your shirt up and starts pressing kisses along your stomach while running his hands from your back to your hips and down to your ass. You’ve never been in this position before. Sure, you guys have only been together for like 5 months but anytime you’ve ever been intimate, he’s been the one who’s taken charge.

He pulls back and looks up at you. “Use me, baby. I got you. Tell me what you need.”

You decide to run with it and take control and blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. “I wanna sit on your face.”

He lets out a little whimper as he moves back on the bed. “Fuck, baby. Please sit on my face. I want you to suffocate me.”

He lays back and patiently waits for you to remove your pants and panties. You hesitantly climb up on the bed. You’ve never done this before with anyone but have always wanted to try it. You climb up until you’re straddling his waist and lean down to kiss him.

He returns the kiss enthusiastically and grinds you down onto him so you can feel how hard he already is for you. It makes you let out a small moan into his mouth. The making out only lasts for a few more minutes before you pull away and start climbing up until you’re hovering right above his mouth.

Before you fully lower yourself onto him you grab his hair and yank so that he has to look at you. He lets out another beautiful whimper. “I’m going to ride your face until I can’t think of anything else but your tongue. You’re going to be good and make me cum as many times as I want, right?”

He nods instantly. “Yes, I promise I’ll be good for you.”

“Good boy.” You tell him, which makes his eyes roll to the back of his head. Hmm. Who knew he had a praise kink?

You let go of his hair and grab onto the headboard with both hands before you slowly lower yourself onto his waiting mouth.

He immediately grips your thighs and pulls you even harder on him and starts eating you out like a man starved. “Oh, fuck!” You throw your head back and start grinding on his tongue. He gives you a few more licks before he sucks your clit into his mouth and starts lapping his tongue back and forth against it. “Oh, god. Fuck, Mike! You’re so fucking good at that.”

Your praise has him moaning and whimpering into your pussy, heightening the experience that much more. He moves his right hand towards your ass and gives it a nice squeeze before moving towards your pussy and immediately inserting two fingers. It makes you start grinding faster, feeling yourself already close to the edge.

He starts pumping his fingers in time with your grinding, pushing you even closer to the edge. You can’t believe how quickly he got you there.

“Mike, please! Gonna cum! Make me cum.”

He pumps his fingers even faster and lightly bites down on your clit, knowing it’ll make you fall over the edge.

You scream his name out and grind on him until it’s too much and you lift yourself away from his mouth. To which he whimpers out, “where’s that pussy going? I wasn’t done yet.”

You let out a breathy laugh. “Jesus. I almost passed out from how hard I came. Give me a minute.”

“So I did good?” He looks up at you with big eyes and his chin glistening with your juices.

You pat his hair. “You did so good, baby. Made me feel so good.”

He smiles and wraps his arms around your thighs and presses soft kisses to the inside of them. You close your eyes and take a minute to enjoy that before you look behind you and see his erection pressing painfully against his jeans. You need that inside of you. Right now.

You remove yourself from his face and he lets out a little whine. “Don’t worry. I’m not done. Need your cock, baby.”

You’ve never seen him undo his belt and slide his jeans down that quickly before. It almost makes you chuckle. “Eager, are we?”

He nods as he pushes his jeans down far enough that his cock springs free and hits your ass. “Need to feel you around me, babe. Please.”

You lean down and pull him into a kiss which he returns generously. You can taste yourself on his tongue. He grabs his cock and hits it against your ass, signaling that he’s ready for you to slide onto him. You take the hint and lift up and back until he catches at your entrance. He’s the first one to break the kiss as you slowly slide down onto him. The little whimpers he lets out as you sit flush against his thighs is music to your ears.

You decide to tease him and just stay resting there for a minute while looking down at him. He has his eyes clenched shut and a death grip on your hips. He opens his eyes after a few moments and looks up at you. He reaches his right hand up and places it on your cheek, caressing it with his thumb. “Go ahead and use me babe. Take what you need from me.”

You slowly start moving your hips back and forth, never really lifting them up and down. The friction against your clit is so delicious. You place both hands on his chest and start moving your hips a little faster. “Oh, fuck baby. You feel so good. You’re so deep.”

“Yeah? Am I making my girl feel good?”

You smirk down at him. “Oh, yeah. You’re being so good for me.”

He lets out another whimper as he grabs you by the back of your head and pulls you in for a heated kiss. This one sloppy and desperate. His hand that’s still on your hip starts moving you a little harder against him. He pulls away from your mouth and kisses his way up your neck towards your ear. “Come on babe. Cum on my cock. I can feel you clenching around me. Cum for me so I can be good and cum for you.”

This time you’re the one letting out a whimper. “Yeah? Want me to be your good boy and cum for you? Fill you up?”

“Please.” You whine out, moving your hips even faster than before. You can feel your orgasm coming like a freight train. There’s no stopping it.

“Oh yeah. I can feel it. You’re gonna cum for me. Do it. Make a mess on me babe. Please, I need it.”

“Yeah? You need me to cum for you? Need to feel me cum? Oh, god Mike. I’m almost there. Please don’t stop.”

He continues helping you grind your hips against his. You’re almost there. Just a little something…..

“I love you, Y/N. So fucking much.”

That did it. You’re pitched off the edge and silently scream out. The edges of your vision going white. You can vaguely hear Mike whimpering out your name as he does as promised and fills you up. You slow your hips down until you can’t move them anymore and slump down against him with your face tucking into the crook of his neck. He wraps his arms around you and rubs his hands up and down your back.

You both stay like that until your heartbeats return to normal. You lift up your head just until you can see him, almost nose to nose. He’s the first to speak. “So, did I do good for you?”

You let out a chuckle. “You were so good, baby.” You can feel him twitch inside of you at the praise. “But, we need to talk about what you said.”

Mike scrunches his brows for a few minutes before his eyes go wide and he realizes what he said. “Shit, I did not mean to say that.”

You can’t help the disappointment that crosses your face. “Oh, well that’s okay. It was in the heat of the moment.”

He quickly wraps his arms tighter around you. “No! That’s not what I meant. Shit. I one hundred percent meant it. I just wanted to make it special when I told you. Not in the middle of an orgasm. You deserve better than that.”

You smile and press a kiss to the tip of his nose. “I appreciate the thought. But I really don’t need anything special. I already have you.”

His smile lights up his entire face. “I love you, Y/N.”

This time you press a kiss to his lips. “I love you, too Mike. Like, a lot.”

“I bet not as much as I love you.”

Just as you’re about to retort, Mike’s cell starts vibrating, causing you to jolt with fright since his phone is still in his pocket which your leg is pressed up against.

“Jesus Christ.”

You quickly get up so that he can grab his phone. “Hello?”

You go into the bathroom to clean up. You come back in with a wet cloth to clean Mike up. He just hangs up as you come in the room. “Everything okay?”

He smiles in thanks as you hand him the cloth. He goes about cleaning himself up. “Yeah. That was Natalie’s mom. Apparently Abby has decided she doesn’t wanna stay the night so I have to go get her.” He stands and pulls his jeans back up and smooths his shirt out. “Sorry we won’t be alone anymore.”

You pull him in for a quick kiss. “Nothing to apologize for. I love you Mike. And that means loving all of you. Which includes Abby. Whom you know I just adore. Go get her and we’ll have a movie night or something.”

He shakes his head and pulls you in for another kiss. “I still don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

You just smile in return. “After the past year you’ve been through, you deserve to be happy.”

He chuckles as he heads out the door. “Ain’t that the damn truth!”

#mike schmidt smut #mike schmidt x y/n #mike schmidt x reader #mike schmidt #josh hutcherson #josh hutcherson smut #fnaf #mike schmidt x you #mike schmidt imagine #fnaf x y/n #fnaf x reader #michael schmidt #five nights at freddy's

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homosexualworkaccount · 5 months ago

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Jason Todd’s “Replacement” nickname for Tim Drake, Origins and Popularisation

So, making a 2500-word essay on how a fanon nickname that only me and like two other people care about is not how I expected to spend my time in between exams.

A lot of Batfam fans are very, very much aware of the fanon “Replacement” nickname Jason has for Tim, and a lot of us very, very much hate it due to the connotations of fanon characterisation that it has. I don’t personally, I think it’s an alright enough one that fits into the established canon ones – but to be fair, I haven’t read the comics in a hot minute, so my memory could be screwy.

I got curious one day on where the nickname came from when a user on TikTok mentioned that it might’ve originated from a Batfam incest fic (They weren’t too sure and told me to take it with a grain of salt) – so shout out to them for starting me down this rabbit hole! I looked over on here and saw that notion repeated, though no one could pinpoint me to a specific fic beyond “It was popularised from a Batfam incest fic.”. I also saw a few people say that it was derived from canon, which piqued my interest further so I decided to go down a rabbit hole of fandom history purely for some fun.

The aim of this essay is just to clear up some misconceptions around the origin of the name, all fun and no harm. Don’t send harassment to people referenced in this either over a silly nickname, it's been well over a decade since they wrote the works used here.

Preface

Alright, first things first – all sources are going to be ones that were published after August 2005, the official date the first issue of Batman: Under the Red Hood was published, where Jason was established to be alive again.

While there could be a chance that the nickname was derived from a website/fanfiction before 2005, it’s highly unlikely due to the fact it was only popularised in the early 2010’s, and well, because Jason was dead and no one gave a shit about him. Also good to remember that most websites that ran before 2005 are defunct and purged from the internet now, particularly fanfiction websites (such as Quidzillia) due to various issues (taboo, copyright, costs to run ect).

Small note to make again – the Batfam fandom was fairly small at the time, the more fandom-y part of the DC community usually sticking to their own websites like Quotev, Quidzilla (again, defunct now), AO3, Fanfiction.net, LiveJournal and independent websites (again, defunct) while the rest stuck to discussion sites, so the entire fandom functioned more as a insular community from what I could tell. I will be working with the assumption that the nickname was created on one of the larger platforms, as any other platform didn’t have large enough influence to popularise the nickname.

The nicknames that I specifically looked for was simply Jason calling Tim Replacement in place of his actual name. Something like “Replacement Robin” was on very thin ice, but still counted as an offshoot. Anything else was off bets.

This whole thing will be split into a few sections to make some things for myself easier. Preface, Sources, Pre-cursor Fanfiction, Fandom Opinion and Language, First usage, Popularisation, Conclusion, Questions, Final Notes.

Sources

Fanfic.net – Created 1998, was and remains one of the larger fanfiction sites. Note; Fanfiction.net had various periods of time where there were large scale purges of fanfictions that held more mature content. Most notable instances were in 2002 and 2012.

Archive Of Our Own – The holy grail for my research. Created in 2008. For the information I got from there I used the search filter Date Updated, tagged Jason’s and Tim’s individual tags and followed from there.

Live Journal – Created 1999 and was used as one of the larger sites for fandom and fanfiction. Was used by DC fandom goers regularly so I used it to get an idea of the fandom at the time.

Tumblr – Created 2007. Theres various people on here who have compilations on DC timelines and comic sourcing that helped me correlate fandom growth with specific comic releases (Shout out to @ectonurites for their meta posts and timeline posts, they were a major source for this!). Dogshit filtering system, so I couldn’t find posts pre 2012 about DC.

Note; Quotev and Wattpad weren’t used in this as their filtering systems don’t account for searching for older fanfictions, so sadly had to be discarded as most fanfictions between 2006-2010 on those websites are now very difficult to find.

Pre-Cursor FanFiction

So, before we get to the actual first proper use I could find of “Replacement”, I first want to mention a fanfiction that had something very similar that I think would be important purely for archiving reasons around how the nickname came to be. And also because it fits the nickname criteria I mentioned earlier.

Published on the 29th of November 2006, last updated on the 28th of November 2007, was the fanfiction My-Enemy-My-Brother on Fanfiction.net by user theunknownvoice – featuring the first use of Jason referring to Tim with a nickname including replacement, Replacement Robin. Kudos to theunknownvoice, they created the very first nickname that would kickstart the rest.

While Jason doesn’t explicitly refer to Tim as Replacement – the main subject of this essay, it comes very damn close, so I wanted to include it. There is a part where Jason repeats replacement in his head multiple times, and I think he’s supposed to be referring to Tim, but the sentence isn’t very clear on that part, so I won’t count it, but it is important to acknowledge.

Though this isn’t the fanfiction that influenced the development of Replacement. This fic had barely enough reach to influence any future works years later. I couldn’t find any connection with this work and later works that officially did just have Jason call Tim “Replacement”

Fandom Opinion and Language at the time

I promise this is important and that I’m not a pretentious linguistic, English isn’t even my first language.

I like to think we all know how fandom discussion just seeps into fanfiction (See; the nickname green bean for Deku from MHA leaking into fanfiction) so I just want to quickly point this out.

Discussion around the two blew up after Jasons return in late 2005, people going “What does this mean” and “What does that mean for Tim”. Through the few posts I could dig up from this time and up to 2011, it seems people came to the conclusion that Tim was Jason’s replacement, and that their dynamic was Jason dealing with the fact that he had one. You can definitely see that in some of the posts and fanfiction written at the time that usually had Jason dealing with Tim being his replacement.

(Just a few examples from LiveJournal but more like this are still floating around, if they aren’t deleted anyway)

It’s very likely that the authors themselves engaged in similar discussions/had independent thoughts that ended in the same conclusions, seeping into the fanfiction itself later. In the comics pre-New 52 I couldn’t find any major instance of Jason explicitly referring to Tim as his replacement (only implied through speech), so this was mostly contained in fandom discussions from what I can tell. (Note, this was probably similar on comic discussion websites, but I couldn’t find any that still exist pre-2007, so I’m going to assume literacy skills are not any better on those sites. See; Batman dick riders)

The fact that Tim is explicitly described as having replaced Jason, and sometimes as “Being the Replacement” on posts/fanfiction definitely had a hand in the creation and popularisation of the nickname, influencing the fan content made around the two.

First usage of Replacement

Cain! Cain! Is the first use of the nickname Replacement really from a Batfam incest fanfiction?

Nope, thank God.

After filtering their character tags together on AO3, going to the oldest page and clicking through over 10 pages, reading every single fanfiction on each one (yes, even the weird ones, I was dedicated) I found the first instance where Jason explicitly refers to Tim as Replacement, that still exists today anyway.

Published on the 24th of January, 2009 by user shiny_glor_chan, is the fanfiction Four Calling Birds, a fanfiction detailing Stephenie Brown returning from faking her death (a whole headache from the comics that I can't be arsed to explain) and getting to meet Jason and Dick for the first time. Genuinely sweet, and a corner stone of fandom history, officially. Hip hip Hooray! Congratulations shiny_glor_chan.

I tried tracing to see if this person had any other accounts that I could find to see where they got the nickname from, but it seems it’s mostly a nickname they thought up out of the fact that they had consistently wrote Jason explicitly stating that Tim was his replacement

And reading through several more pages of fanfiction again, feeling like I want to bleach my eyes out, I found the second instance of the nickname being used. Published on the 26th of May, 2010 by user axiel-neesan, is the fanfiction The Only Piece You Get, where Jason basically acts as Tim’s cabbie and bonds with him. Another corner stone of fandom history, hooray.

These two authors are completely unrelated and have no connections to each other besides both frequenting LiveJournal, having taken prompts and having friends from that website, despite having no accounts I could find. I personally think they had a similar train of thought of “Huh, that would be a sick ass nickname.”. Chances are that axiel-neesan saw shiny_glor_chans fic and got inspired as the fandom was dead small on AO3 at the time – around 20 pages worth of fanfiction from 2008-2010 (And thats being generous if we’re counting now deleted ones)

These two fanfictions are immensely important because it’s the only early instances I could find of the nickname being used, and for about two years after the nickname pops up occasionally – but by no means was it popular, or even regularly used, I had to look for the fanfictions that used it.

Props to shiny_glor_chan and axiel-neesan! I pray that you two don’t see what the fandom thinks of that nickname now.

Popularisation

Early 2012 saw the proper explosion of fandom for the Batfam, and by extension the nickname.

By this point there were so many fanfictions that I couldn’t read them all, so I started picking random ones that tagged Jason and Tims relationship, platonic or not. Pre-April-ish of 2012 the nickname popped up every other page or so, but sometime after mid-2012 the nickname was in almost every fanfiction that I skimmed through – so that’s its official growth period.

Why though? Several factors probably.

The New-52 was in full swing by this time, DC massively promoting the reboot to get new fans interested, so people picked up comics from there. Young Justice – the more mainstream exposure of DC to surface level fans aired its second season in April of 2012, introducing people to Tim Drake and his story and getting them interested. Fanfiction and fandom as a whole was becoming less taboo and more accepted in fan spaces, so encouragement to write it was much better than it was in the early years of the internet (Example; Teen Wolf’s production team)

As for a specific catalyst for the growth of popularity for the nickname? There might be something worth pointing to.

Kudos for @ectonurites for helping me on this (Hi Sam! I was anon!) and giving me a publishing date on Tim’s and Jason’s first New 52 interaction – Red Hood and the Outlaws #8, published on the 18th of April, 2012. It features an instance of Jason and Tim interacting in a very friendly and familial way, Jason explicitly calling Bruce their Dad. Compared to their last major previous interaction of Jason leaving Tim for dead, fans of the two who enjoyed the more familial potential (and tragically, romantic potential) took it and ran with it.

All of these combined in some way to contribute to the popularity of the nickname in mid to late 2012, and lead to it’s infamy in DC fanfiction.

Conclusion

In conclusion, how do I think the nickname came to be?

I think it’s a combination of factors that led to it’s creation. As already established people very much did see Tim as Jasons replacement at the time, and the language could have shortened down from “Tim replaced Jason” to “Tim is Jason’s replacement” to “Tim is the replacement” which I think could be the train of thought the 2006 author went down to create the nickname Replacement Robin.

This definitely influenced the AO3 writers as shiny_glor_chan was present on LiveJournal at the time (where this language was very prominent), so they were already down the line of thinking this and probably went “Huh, replacement is kinda a funny nickname” and added it. As already stated, I think axiel-neesan probably had a very similar train of thought or may have seen shiny_glor_chan’s fic and was inspired.

And from there people saw it, used it in their own works, getting leaked over onto LiveJournal, which was the main website for prompt sharing, getting used a decent amount there before the explosion of fandom in mid-2012 that lead to it’s regular usage in fan works.

Questions

So, is the nickname from a Batcest fic?

Nope! The nickname mostly makes an appearance in platonic fics between Jason and Tim, it’s actually a chore to find it in their romantic ones, as in I think I found one instance of it being used somewhere in late 2010 but I can't think of it in a fanfiction that predates that. All early uses of the nickname were in platonic fics between the two.

I think this rumour is based around three fanfictions specifically on Ao3 that people are pointing to, I think, no one seems to be wanting to name names. They’re the ones that pop up when you search Replacement in the word search after tagging Tim Drake and Jason Todd together.

Wings to Fly. Published October of 2012. Jason Refers to Tim as Replacement. Jason/Tim

Replacement. Published 2009. The title implies it’s referring to Tim, but Jason never explicitly nicknames Tim replacement, the narrator only calling Tim “His replacement”, him being Jason. Jason/Tim. Non-con

The Replacement. Published 2011. Can't figure out if the title is supposed to refer to Tim or is simply just titled that for the sake of it. Jason talks a few times about Tim being his replacement, but the nickname never makes an appearance. Jason/Tim

Does the nickname have any bases in Canon?

From what I can tell, no. I haven’t read all the Batfamily comics Pre-New 52, or from after Batman: Under The Red Hood, I mostly stray towards Hal Jordans comics lol. I don’t think theres any major instance where Jason talks about Tim replacing him by specifically using replacement or replacing (It can be inferred from his speech sometimes, but Jason’s relationship with Tim was much more complex than that. I’d recommend reading @ectonurites metas about the two to get a better idea) Theres a few instances in 2015 post-New 52 reboot where Jason says explicitly that Tim replaced him, but that was way after the nickname was popularised.

Red Hood and Arsenal #7 (2015)

Final Notes

That’s about it! That’s the result of my month long dive into almost twenty years worth of DC fandom history as a fun side project. Please don’t harass anyone linked here, this was just project to pass the time and not a call out post for anyone that did contribute to the popularisation of the nickname.

Feel free to ask me anything else about this or any other DC fandom history and I’ll try to research it!! This was genuinely a fun thing to do to pass the time and work out my research muscles.

#Fun little side project in the mist of my exams #Im finished soon though so I will be going back to regular posting!!!#Fanfiction and other rambles #probably DC and Mortal Kombat #DC #dc comics #Red Robin #Red Hood #Tim Drake #Jason Todd #Jason Todd meta #Tim Drake meta #DC meta #Fandom history #Essay #batfam #batfam meta #batfamily

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emrowene · 3 months ago

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Webserials and Why You Should Read Them

Welcome to a short primer on webserials! The concept behind them is pretty simple: webserials, also called webnovels or webfiction, are serialized online novels. If you read long fanfics OR webcomics, you're probably already familiar with the concept. Authors release new chapters on a fixed basis, usually one chapter a week (but sometimes more, sometimes less).

You can find webserials in several places: on big platforms like tapas and royalroad, on individual authors' websites or patreons, or on newsletter platforms like substack.

So now we know what webserials are, but why should we support them?

Because webserials are fun. Because webserial authors are sharing amazing works online for free! Because the publishing industry is disproportionately hard to get into for queer and marginalized folks, and those are the people writing webserials.

To climb a little higher onto my soapbox, I believe webserials are the future of accessible and diverse publishing. There's been more and more discussion about the problems with traditional publishing: how publishers are turning it into a "fast fashion" industry, spitting out books while overall book quality decreases. Regardless of whether you believe that, it's true that the industry prioritizes "marketability" over anything else. Experimental books, passion projects, books that have a lot of heart but no pithy "tropes" -- they stand little chance in the world of traditional publishing, and self-publishing is incredibly inaccessible for most of us. It's expensive, but more than that, it takes an incredible amount of time and effort. It's a business, and at the end of the day, some of just want to share the stories we love with people we hope will love them too. And that's the beauty of webserials!

One complaint I've seen about webserials is that "you never know what the quality will be like" - and I've seen this from people who regularly read fanfiction! Like fanfiction writers, we have our beta readers, we have our editors, we pour our hearts into developing our stories. So give us a try!!

Some recs and places to get started under the cut:

My webserials:

Fractured Magic - A queer epic fantasy series about a broken hero’s hunt for redemption and an elven prince’s quest to rescue his kidnapped king. The two estranged friends are racing against time - and dead gods - to achieve their goals. Will they make up and work together before it’s too late? (This story is currently ongoing)

The Case Files of Sheridan Bell - An old-school detective mystery set in Tamarley, a fantastical city with magical murders and doors to other worlds. Basically (queer, autistic) Sherlock Holmes but with more faeries. The first mystery is complete; the second will be published soon!

Some other webserials I follow/followed from start to finish:

What Manner of Man by @stjohnstarling - a queer gothic romance novel about a priest and a vampire.

The Warthog Report by @warthogreporter- this substack contains a selection of nonfiction writing, misc. fiction writings, and Battles Beneath The Stars, a serialized story about a tournament in a fantasy world, styled like a fighting game script/walkthrough.

Kiss it Better by DogshitJay - A (definitely 18+) queer adult romance about the messy endings and messier beginnings of love.

Warrior of Hearts by Beau Van Dalen - a queer slice of life romance following an online friendship that blossoms into something more. (Beau has lots of other great webserials as well!)

More places to look:

Tapas (Community novels page)

Royalroad (mostly known for its litrpg scene, but you can find other novels and genres here as well!)

The ao3 "Original Works" tag!

#writeblr #writing #webfiction #webnovel #lgbtq books #this primer is mostly so I can link it in future posts but boosts are appreciated!!

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milkpup · 10 months ago

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✧ stoner! choso ramble thing ✧

@ solrhaf

ʚ ao3 ɞ / ʚ kofi ɞ / ʚ fic masterlist ɞ

›› choso x f!reader drabble / thirst

‹𝟹 genres / warnings: drugs (weed)

‹𝟹 tags: au- no powers, spit kink, spitting, switch!choso, dom choso at first then he's all soft at the end WOOO,making out, smoking, swapping smoke? idk how to describe it, groping, light smut i guess?

‹𝟹 notes: thank u to my pookie @navi-n0 for the great idea :3 inspired by @comicalgrievance (read their stoner choso i am begging T_T!!!!!) idk if i'll write more, although i like stoner!choso so maybe owo but i just wanted to thirst abt him rn frfr, i like choso more as subby but tbh switch choso is pretty fire ngl LMAO

Choso was happy when he found out you smoked. He was even more thrilled when he found out you were like a fucking chimney, the only one who could match him that he’d ever met.

You both regularly had seshes together, taking turns rolling for each other or packing bowls. He thought it was cute you would use pink papers and add dried herbs, but he’d never admit it to you.

It was his turn, and you were sitting next to him as he was grinding the herb and placing it on the paper. He leaned over to kiss you, taking a momentary break to leave your mouth sloppy. “open, princess.” your lips were covered in sloppy lip gloss, and Choso admired it as he spit into your mouth. “lick it,” he says as he lifts the joint to your lips. you didn’t think it would be so hot to seal a joint this way, but your body said otherwise. “good girl,” he purrs as he pets your head. Your cheeks are flaring and your body feels like a furnace.

Choso isn’t usually dominant in general, but his aura changes sometimes, especially if he’s higher than an astronaut. It was a good change of pace, and you welcomed it.

“Ladies first,” he says as he places the joint between your lips, and sparking the lighter under it. You inhale the unbeatable taste, and you noticed Choso added some dried up flowers and herbs like you had shown him. You smiled at the thought knowing you influenced Choso.

You exhale, passing the joint to Choso and watch him take the longest and fattest hit he possibly could have. He looks like a dragon, grinning from ear to ear as he exhales out of his nose. You chuckle at the sight.

Choso’s eyes lock onto yours as he asks you a question. “Can I try something with you?” Although his question was more in the essence of a statement, he didn’t give you much of a chance to respond as he inhales a long puff from the joint and crashes his lips into yours in the next moment.

He kisses you for only a moment, as his hand locks around your neck and pulls you closer into him. He seals your lips together, exhaling and sharing the smoke. Your mouth fills with the smoke as you inhale. Choso pulls your lips apart, a string of saliva still connecting to you two.

You look over at him through the haze of the smoke, your cheeks flaring and heat pooling in your core. “My turn.” You say as he passes the joint to you.

You push Choso down on the couch beside you as you take a long drag of the joint. You’re straddling his lap as you lean down and kiss him. You bite his lip softly as you exhale smoke into his mouth. Your hands are snaking down his abdomen, and you lift his shirt up, pulling his sweats down. A blush is covering his face as you work your hands over his boxers.

“Can you do that again, please?”

‹𝟹 notifs: @vvxxccaa @arylaa @navi-n0 @starshipxoxo @comicalgrievance

ʚ join my notifs ɞ

(･ω･)つ divider creds to @/cafekitsune and @/eloquentreverie

#choso x female reader #choso x reader #choso x you #choso kamo #choso smut #jjk smut #jjk fic #jjk #jujutsu kaisen choso #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen fic #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #ao3 writer #stoner choso

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kwanisms · 11 months ago

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🎄 Tales from Camp Holiday Special 07 🎄

«« previous | masterlist | next »»

➮ Joshua × fem!Reader wc: 9k summary: While helping set up for a Christmas special at his church, Joshua is reintroduced to Y/N who is offered to help him set up. While working, they reminisce and Joshua apologizes about everything that summer. genres/themes/au: angst, fluff, smut; holiday themes, religious undertones; non idol au warnings: adult dialogue, female reader, mentions of pregnancy, religious themes, sexual content (18+ mdni), see smut warnings under the cut! taglist: @yoonguurt @wonw00t @aikisbbq @enhacolor @duchesskaren @sherituhhh @wonderfulshinee @gaebestie @drunk-on-dk @seokgyuu @salty-for-suga @aaniag @dnylwoo @1004luvangel join my taglists: main | TFC: Holiday Special closed! Strikethrough means I cannot tag you. MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED. AGELESS BLOGS WILL ALSO BE BLOCKED.

a/n: sorry this took so long lol i was stumped at where to take it, but managed to figure it out by moving a scene around. Joshua is always a subject that is fun to explore as every seems to see him pretty different. I love seeing what everyone comes up with for him. A reminder that the taglist for this series is now closed! Thank you so much for reading! If you liked this, please consider reblogging as it really helps out and as always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only.

smut warnings: protected sex (finally lmao. He has learned from his past), a lot of heavy petting & making out in a church backroom lmao, car sex, oral (m receiving), fingering (f receiving), dirty talk, choking kink, finger sucking, degradation, impact play (light slapping), slight exhibitionism, and I think that’s all of them! If I missed any, let me know!

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Joshua wouldn’t say he was as deep in his faith as he used to be but he still attended church regularly. Less out of faith and more out of routine and a sense of community. So when the holidays rolls around, he inevitably ends up volunteering to help with the extra activities like the nativity play as well as teaching Sunday school. This year was no different.

Except that it was completely different.

“Can you hand me that hammer?” Joshua asked, pointing at the claw hammer sticking out of the tool box. Jeonghan huffed, bending down to pick it up and handing it over. “I can’t believe I let you talk me into helping you with this,” he grumbled, checking his watch.

Joshua looked up at his friend. “Impatient?” he asked with a smirk. Jeonghan narrowed his eyes. “I have work in an hour,” Jeonghan said, glancing around quickly before adding in an “asshole” under his breath, making Joshua laugh as he lined up the nail and started hammering it.

“This won’t take long,” he promised as he started hammering a second nail into the wood. “Besides, isn’t this fun?” Jeonghan eyed him suspiciously. “Not particularly, no,” Jeonghan answered before glancing around. “I feel… weird.” He looked up at the cross on the wall behind the stage they currently stood on. “Oh it’s not that bad,” Joshua snorted as he finished hammering the nails in.

He handed Jeonghan the hammer before starting to push the frame of the tiny stable over until it stood upright. “Hmm, not bad,” Jeonghan said, tilting his head to admire Joshua’s handiwork. “You’re like Jesus’ dad. A carpenter.” Joshua rolled his eyes, lightly smacking Jeonghan’s arm.

“You’re an idiot.”

“What?” Jeonghan hissed, holding his arm and looking more offended by the slap than the insult. “You even have the same name!” Joshua turned to give Jeonghan a bewildered stare. “You’re thinking of Joseph,” he said as he started to grab the brown cloth fabric and the upholstery staple gun.

“Mary’s husband was Joseph. Joshua was a warrior who led Israel in the conquest of Canaan after the Exodus from Egypt.”

Jeonghan stared blankly at his friend. “I have no idea what any of those words mean.”

Joshua rolled his eyes, gesturing for Jeonghan to help him hold up the fabric backing of the stable. He started to staple it into place, making sure it was pulled taut over the frame. “He was essentially a military leader,” he explained further. Jeonghan’s lips parted in an O as he listened.

“Good for him,” Jeonghan said as Joshua continued to staple the backing on. “Power to the people or whatever.” Joshua snorted again as he finished stapling. Jeonghan checked his watch again. “Look, I’d love to stay and talk to you about EXO but I have to leave now if I want to make it to work on time,” he said, starting to head for the steps. Joshua nodded.

“Of course. And thanks for your help,” he said as Jeonghan descended the steps. “Drive safe!” Jeonghan waved as he headed down the aisle and out the door into the lobby of the church.

Back on his own, Joshua was able to focus on the less taxing job of painting the stable. It wasn’t much, just some brown paint here and there but Joshua always went above and beyond.

“Looking good, Joshua!” a voice said, drawing his attention. Joshua looked up to find Father Y/L/N walking towards him, his wife in tow and one more familiar face. Yours.

Joshua felt a rush of blood to his head as he stood up straight, making him feel lightheaded. He hadn’t seen you since summer camp all those years ago. He’d tried, keep an eye out for you every year until he finally quit working there once he got his full time job.

Not one sign of you at the camp. He feared the worst when he didn’t see you again the next summer after your last… meeting. Upon returning to his cabin, Joshua remembered that the two of you hadn’t used a condom and knowing your father was a pastor, he probably didn’t allow you to take birth control.

It had really eaten away at Joshua.

Especially when he learned that you’d left the next morning citing a family emergency. And thus began Joshua’s months-long panic-stricken search but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t seem to dig up any social media accounts under your name.

Not a single trace of you had been left behind for him to follow but here you were, years later and looking even more amazing and beautiful than the last day he’d seen you.

“Joshua, you remember my daughter, Y/N?” your father asked, placing a light hand on your back and gently pulling you forward. Joshua was rendered speechless. He’d never been speechless.

If Jeonghan was still here, he was certain he’d never hear the end of it. Joshua stared at you, stunned and silent longer than he should have because the next thing your father did was ask if he was okay.

Joshua shook himself mentally. ‘Get it together, you idiot!’

“Uh, yeah,” he finally stammered out, turning to look at you, meeting your gaze. “Hey, Y/N, how have you been?” He hesitated briefly, uncertain of how much physical contact was appropriate.

Should he shake your hand? Go in for a hug? What was allowed? Especially in front of your parents. Joshua had literally been inside you before but that was years ago. He settled for neither and instead gave you probably the most awkward wave he'd ever given in his life.

If your dad didn't think something was up before, he’d certainly be suspicious now. Whether or not he was, Joshua wouldn’t know as your father simply smiled, looking from you to Joshua and back.

“It’s been a while, Joshua,” you noted, not looking away from his face. Joshua swallowed nervously, hoping neither of your parents caught onto his increasingly bizarre behavior.

Either they were oblivious or just didn’t care as to why the usually calm.and collected Sunday school teacher was suddenly losing his cool and metaphorically shitting bricks.

“Yeah,” Joshua replied lamely. “Y/N’s been out of the country for work,” your mother suddenly piped up, sounding exceedingly proud of you. A shy smile graced your lips, reminding Joshua of the quiet demure young woman he’d met all those years ago.

Despite the smile, you certainly did not carry yourself the same way.

“Wow, that’s incredible,” Joshua said, looking away from your mother to meet your gaze. “She’s back in town, looking at apartments. Isn’t that right, dear?” Joshua could see a hint of amusement in your eyes.

“Something like that, mother,” you replied dryly. Before either of your parents could say anything more, you spoke again.

“I think I’d like to stay here and help set up,” you offered quickly. “You two go on ahead without me.” Your mother and father exchanged quick glances of surprise before your mother spoke.

“Are you sure, dear?” she asked. You nodded quickly, moving to stand beside Joshua. “It’ll give Joshua and I a chance to catch up.”

Your mother and father looked at one another one last time, Joshua holding his breath that they would just give in and say yes without trying to pry. He wasn’t ready for that conversation yet and he was certain he never would be.

Seemingly moved by your willingness to volunteer, your parents gave in without much resistance, cooing over how sweet you were to volunteer your own time to help out.

They told you they would be back later to pick you up and where to meet them before they both bid you and Joshua farewell.

Once left alone in your presence, Joshua suddenly had no idea what to do, how to act, or what to say so you took the lead, turning to face him. “So,” you started. “What’re you working on?”

Joshua employed your help in painting the stable. It wasn’t exactly riveting work and it left his mind free to wander. Neither of you made any attempt to fill the silence or bridge the glaringly obvious gap between you.

Time seemed to whizz by and yet it also appeared to stand still.

On top of that, he managed to knock over the can of paint.

It would seem he just couldn’t win today.

“Shiii-oot,” Joshua started to curse but caught himself, glancing at you. Upon hearing his half curse, you looked up at him with a bewildered look. “Shi-oot?” you asked, a note of amusement to your voice. Joshua stared at you blankly until you burst into laughter.

And what a sweet laugh it was. He didn’t realize how much he’d missed it until he heard it again.

“What the fuck is ‘shi-oot,’ Joshua?” you managed to wheeze.

A smile spread over Joshua’s face as he realized he’d been holding back and being so uptight for no reason.

Despite all that had changed, it was nice to see some things hadn’t changed at all. You shook your head, still chuckling as you grabbed a nearby rag and started to clean up the spilled paint.

“I��ll go grab a mop from the cleaning supply closet,” Joshua said, setting his brush down carefully and stepping over the spilled paint as you set the can upright.

The cleaning closet wasn’t far, just in the hall outside the nave. He grabbed the mop and a spray bottle of cleaning solution. Upon returning, he was surprised that you managed to get a bulk of the paint off the floor.

He walked over, spraying the spot generously. You got to your feet as Joshua waited for the chemicals in the solution to work. “I’m gonna go grab another can of paint,” you announced. Joshua leaned the mop against one of the benches.

“I’ll come with you,” he replied, following your steps. “I have to let this stuff sit for a few minutes anyway.” While it was true the solution needed a few minutes for the chemicals to break down the materials in the paint, Joshua really wanted an excuse to spend more time with you.

He should have known it was a bad idea. He should have foreseen what was going to happen considering your history the last time the two of you were alone together in a store room.

You weren’t sure who made the first move, but one minute you were trying to match paint, the next Joshua had you pinned against the wall, his thigh wedged between yours as his tongue explored your mouth, hands skimming over your body with practiced ease.

“Fuck,” Joshua grunted as your hands tugged through his hair, pulling his head back slightly. “You still sound just as pretty as before,” he heard you murmur, your lips ghosting over the skin of his neck. “And you’re much more confident than before,” Joshua mused as you pulled back to look at him.

He pulled you in for another kiss, muffling your moans as you rolled your hips, grinding against his thigh.

‘What are you doing? You need to stop this! Remember last time?’

“Wait, wait,” Joshua said softly, pulling back to look at you. “Stop.” You looked up at him, confused as he held you still. “We can’t do this,” he stated, his voice slightly breathless. You felt a small tug at your heart. “Oh.” Your stomach started to sink as the gravity of his words settled. “I see.”

Sensing the shift in your demeanor, Joshua held you firm as you tried to turn and pull away from him. “That came out wrong,” he started quickly. “I meant, we can’t do this here,” he clarified. You looked back up to meet his gaze. “What?” you whispered.

Joshua’s hands moved up to cup your face. “Let me be perfectly clear,” he explained. “I want this. I want you,” he continued. “But not here.” Joshua looked around the backroom. “We’ve done this before,” he added. “I don’t want to do this again. I want to do things right with you.”

You stared back at him, searching and studying his face. When you came back here, following him, you had expected the same thing as before. The sexual tension had been high since being reintroduced.

As you stared back at Joshua, several questions ran through your head. ‘Has he felt this way since the last time? Has he been thinking about this since then? Did he want to pursue something more involved, possibly romantic with you? What was his end goal?’

“What are you saying?” you asked softly, resting your hands against his chest. You felt his thumb stroke your cheek tenderly, making you resist the urge to lean into his touch. “It means,” he started softly, looking into your eyes. “That I want more from this.”

Your heart skipped a beat, breath catching in your throat.

“I’ve had a lot of time to think about that day,” Joshua continued. “To think about what we did, how it affected me, and even moreso, what happened after. I was sure that you had gotten pregnant,” he paused, gauging your reaction.

You said nothing, wanting him to finish his thoughts in their entirety before you spoke. Sensing this, Joshua continued his narrative.

“And that got me thinking. Had me thinking about the future, about what I want in life, and about you. I wondered where you ended up. Wondered what you were doing in your life. And the more I thought about the possibility that I had a kid out there, the more I started to accept it as reality.”

You shook your head quickly. “I’ve been on birth control since I was 16,” you explained. Joshua’s eyes widened in surprise. “You have?” he asked quickly to which you nodded. “Mainly for my endometriosis,” you added. “But the added not getting pregnant aspect has been nice, too.”

Joshua let out a soft laugh, shaking his head before he looked back up at you, hesitating before taking a deep breath. “Anyway, as fate would have it, you didn’t get pregnant. I don’t have a kid out in the world. And for some reason, that doesn’t bring me any relief. It almost makes me feel… sad.”

Your brows knitted together as he finished his sentence. ‘Sad?’ you wondered. ‘He wanted me to have his child?’

“Don’t get me wrong,” Joshua said suddenly. “I’m glad you didn’t have to put your life on hold to raise a child alone. I’m glad your life went on and you were able to do the things you always talked about,” he added with a smile. It wasn’t the usual smirk you’d always gotten from him. It was a kind and genuine smile.

A very rare one.

“It also means, if you wanted, we could start over.”

Your eyes widened. ‘Start Over?’

“I realize that things have definitely changed but if you’ll let me,” he continued. “I’d like to do things properly this time. Take you on a real date. Court you properly in a way that won’t make your dad hate me,” he added. You let out an unexpected chuckle.

“He doesn’t hate you,” you replied. “He has no idea what we got up to all those years ago.” Joshua felt relieved, feeling his body relax just a little more. “As for starting over,” you continued and Joshua tensed up again. ‘Here it goes,’ he told himself.

“I’d love to, actually.”

Joshua froze, staring at you unblinking for a few moments.

“Wait,” he said softly. “Really?” he asked. You nodded, letting out a giggle as the realization of your words dawned on him. “Oh, shit. Sorry,” he apologized quickly. “I'm just… honestly, I'm shocked. I thought for sure you'd turn me down!” You let out another giggle, watching his excitement rise.

“How does Saturday sound? We can go get coffee. Or go to a museum. Or a movie if you’d prefer that? Whatever you want to do!” You smiled as he rambled on, listing off idea after idea for a first date. You reached up, covering his mouth to cut his rambling off.

“Coffee and a museum sounds great.”

╾───────────────────⭒✧⭒──────────────────╼

You were able to help Joshua finish his projects and set them aside to dry for the rest of the day before the show the following day. Joshua got ready the next morning, a mix of nerves and tension. Not because of the show but because of seeing you again.

When you agreed to start over and go on a date with him, he’d been over the moon and riding that high the whole way home but upon waking the next morning, he was a ball of nerves.

He arrived early at the church, dressed in a nice pair of khakis and a navy blue suit jacket. He’d packed a pair of jeans to change into after the show to help take things down and keep his clothes nice and clean. Setting up was simply putting sets in place and making sure all the costumes and props were ready to go.

Joshua was mainly in charge of handing out programs, and making sure the ushers did their jobs escorting people to their seats. It wasn’t a hard job particularly, but most of the ushers were young teenage boys who liked to mess around. Not that Joshua blamed them. He was a teenage boy once. He understood.

The doors to the church opened at six pm, allowing for an hour for the guests and congregation to find their seats. It was an hour full of ‘welcome’ and ‘would you like a program?’ By the time the show was about to start, Joshua was internally cringing for sounding like a parrot the whole time.

As the last few of the guests trickled in, Joshua’s heart skipped a beat. You’d arrived with your parents and it was all he could do to not stare at you as you walked closer, chatting with your mother. Instead, he allowed himself to look quickly over your body, taking in the ensemble you’d chosen.

As you and your parents drew nearer, a genuine smile spread across his face unlike the one he’d been forcing earlier. “Ah, Joshua,” your father said upon noticing him. “How good to see you again.” You turned your head, gaze falling on Joshua and he could have sworn, he’d seen your eyes sweep over him quickly as well as the look you gave him.

It made blood rush to his head and not the one with the smile on it.

“Good evening, Father Y/L/N. Mrs. Y/L/N,” Joshua said with a nod before his eyes fell on you. “Y/N,” he added with a smile. “Would you like a program?” one of the teenage boys to Joshua’s left asked, interrupting the moment as yours and Joshua’s eyes had been locked on one another.

“Yes, thank you,” your father answered, taking two from the boy and handing one to his wife. You looked back at Joshua, glancing at the programs in his hands. “Could I have one of those?” you asked softly. There was a tone to your voice. Almost like you were asking for something more than the program but all the same, Joshua nodded, handing one over to you.

“Enjoy the show,” he said as your parents started to head into the nave. “Thanks,” you replied, opening the program and glancing over it quickly before looking up at him. “See you after the show?” you asked, a hint of hope to your voice. Joshua nodded, heart skipping as a smile spread over your face.

“See you after the show, then,” you said softly before following your parents inside.

Joshua stood at the back of the nave, against the wall as the show started but he couldn’t focus on his students standing on stage and acting out the birth of Jesus. All he could focus on was you sitting three rows from the back, eyes forward as you watched with what anyone else would assume was rapt attention.

Joshua might have as well if he hadn’t caught you turning to gaze back at him before the lights dimmed.

The whole show, Joshua kept his eyes on you, watching every shift, every light chuckle, and the way you leaned over to whisper something to your mother. In the low lighting he could still see the way your lips pulled into a smile as you let out a soft laugh, covering your mouth with your hand.

He felt like he could look at you for hours but he’d never admit it for fear of sounding like a creep.

So he’d keep that to himself.

When the show finally ended, the lights came back on and the guests started to trickle out while the staff started to slowly clean up the stage. Joshua made a point of making sure to wish everyone a goodnight and a Merry Christmas.

Thankfully, you and your parents were among the few to remain behind, your father speaking to the other pastor. Joshua saw your head turn in his direction, watching you speak a few words to your mother before following the crowd in his direction.

He looked away quickly, continuing to say goodbye to the guests as they passed him. Moments later, you joined him. “Found you,” you said softly, making him chuckle. “Now what?” you asked. Joshua smiled, after turning from a guest.

“Now I have to help clean up,” Joshua answered. “Could I stay and help?” you asked suddenly.

Joshua’s eyes widened but before he could answer, another voice spoke up.

“You ready to head home, dear?” your mother asked, drawing your attention. You glanced over at Joshua quickly before speaking. “Actually, I think I'm going to stay behind and help clean up,” you replied, smiling at your parents. You noticed the way your father glanced at Joshua and back.

“How will you get home?” he asked. Joshua looked at your parents.

“I can drop her off, if you’d like,” he offered.

Your mother cooed at the kind gesture. “Oh, you don’t have to go out of your way to do that,” she started but Joshua shook his head. “I don’t mind at all,” he explained. “It’s not out of the way and it’s been a while since Y/N and I have seen one another. Could give us some more time to catch up while I drive her.”

Your mother smiled at him, throwing an unreadable glance your way before she turned to your father. “Y/N will be fine,” she started. “Let’s get home before the snow starts, dear.” Your father nodded and looked at you. “Don’t be too late,” he said softly. “We have plans in the morning.”

You nodded and waved them off as they exited the room before turning to Joshua. “You didn’t have to offer to drive me,” you said softly as you moved to stand beside him and help taking down the set. “It’s nothing,” Joshua replied. “Like I said, it gives us a chance to properly talk.”

The task of taking down the set wasn’t nearly as complex as putting it up and soon you were walking out of the church with Joshua, heading to his black sedan. He unlocked the door and opened it for you, only shutting it once you were safely inside before heading around to the driver’s side and getting in.

Joshua started the car, pulling out of his parking space and following the line of cars heading out of the parking lot, turning onto the road and following your directions towards your parents house. Small flurries had started to fall, collecting on the grass and starting to pile.

You chatted animatedly while Joshua drove, following your directions that led out of town to your parent’s farm. It wasn’t far out of the city but it was still a considerable distance from the town.

You glanced over to find Joshua looking at you before he looked back at the road, a slight smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. “What?” you asked softly. He shook his head. “Nothing,” he replied. “I just like listening to you.” Your cheeks and the tips of your ears burned as you looked away.

Your heart was thudding in your chest, the tension from earlier in the supply room returning as you had both essentially cucked yourselves. You were still needy but you couldn’t tell if it was just your or if Joshua felt it too.

“Why do you keep staring at me like that?” Joshua asked softly, glancing at you and you shrugged. “I just like looking at you,” you replied. Joshua let out a chuckle, checking his rearview mirror and his smile fell instantly. “What the-?” he cut himself off. You noticed the flashing of red and blue lights from behind and your heart sank. ‘Are you serious?’ you wondered, turning in your seat to look out the back window.

Joshua slowed the car, pulling onto the shoulder before putting the car in park. He waited patiently as the cop car stopped behind him, lights still flashing as the officer got out of the vehicle and started heading towards the driver’s side window. Joshua rolled it down as the officer drew level.

“Evening, officer,” he said pleasantly. “What seems to be the problem?” The officer leaned down to look into the car and noticed you. “Where are you two headed?” he asked, directing his attention at you. “My parents’,” you answered. “They live outside the city on their farm.”

The officer turned his attention to Joshua. “The roads are starting to ice in places,” he explained. “Just warning everyone before something awful happens. You make sure to get where you’re going and soon,” he continued. Joshua nodded. “Are we free to go?” he asked to which the officer nodded.

“Just make sure to be careful.”

Joshua thanked the officer and waited for him to return to his vehicle before putting the car in drive and pulling off the shoulder as he sped back up to the normal speed for the highway. “Am I the only one that was shitting bricks back there?” he asked, a shocked laugh escaping him.

You shook your head. “No, I was kinda freaking out a little, too. I was wondering what we could have possibly done to warrant being pulled over.” Joshua nodded as he checked his rearview but the cop car was no longer in sight, nor were the flashing lights.

“I wasn’t speeding and I know for a fact that my tail lights work just fine,” he explained. “I almost thought it was going to be a sobriety check,” he continued. You nodded as he continued to drive, adrenaline coursing through your body. “Turn up here,” you voiced, pointing at the country road.

Joshua slowed, turning his blinker on and made the right turn onto the first of many country roads to get to your parents’ farm. He turned on his brights, illuminating the edges of the roads. The snow was coming down even heavier, blanketing the grass and starting to gather on the road.

“I’m going to have a time trying to get back home through this,” he whispered more to himself but you still heard him clearly. “Maybe my parents won’t mind if you stay the night in the guest room,” you replied. “I’m sure my mother would feel better if you stayed rather than go back into all of this.”

Joshua felt a stirring in his chest and stomach at the thought of spending the night at your parents’ house, so close to you and yet unable to have you. He had half a mind to turn back and head to his place instead but reminded himself he’d already told your parents he’d bring you home.

“I’m sure I’ll be okay,” he replied. You shook your head. “Just watch,” you said softly as you looked out the window. “She won’t let you leave and she’ll insist you stay in the guest room.”

“Wanna bet?” Joshua asked, looking at you and back at the road. “Okay,” you said quickly. “If I win, I get to pick where we go on our date,” you said, making him laugh. “And if I win?” he asked, glancing at you. “You can pick a time and place and do whatever you want to me.”

Joshua’s face burned and he hid his shock with a cough and clearing of his throat. “Alright,” he replied.

“You’re on.”

Suffice it to say, Joshua lost the bet instantly. As soon as he pulled up, Joshua insisted on walking you to the door to make sure you got up the steps safely. The door opened almost instantly and he was very quickly ushered inside by your father. Not long after, your mother appeared and began fussing.

Joshua tried to refuse but you had been right and your mother insisted he stay until morning. Joshua caught your eye and smiled, returning the same smile you were currently giving him.

“Show our guest to the guest bedroom, Y/N,” your mother said, drawing your attention. “Make sure he knows where the towels and extra linens are. And where the flashlight is just in case we lose power.”

You nodded to your mother to show you heard her instructed and beckoned Joshua to follow you through the hallway to the right. “The house is a true ranch style,” you explained as you passed a half bathroom. “Three bedrooms and two baths on this side,” you continued.

“This is the guest bedroom,” you said, stopping at a door and opening it, flipping the light on.

It wasn’t anything grand or spectacular. There was a queen size bed with light natural toned linens. The bedframe, dresser, two nightstands and bench at the end of the bed were part of the same set. Against the back wall at the head of the bed was a large picture window with curtains drawn mostly shut. To the right was a doorway into a dark room.

“Guest bathroom,” you explained, leading him over to it and turning on the light. It was a standard bathroom with a vanity and double sink, a separate room for the toilet and a shower tub combo with a glass rolling door.

“The towels are in here,” you explained, walking over to the sink and opening a lower cabinet door to reveal shelves stocked with towels. “There’s some generic shampoo, conditioner, and body wash in here,” you added, pointing to another cabinet door.

You turned off the light and ushered him back into the bedroom before leading him over to a door in the wall opposite the bathroom and slid it open to reveal a closet with built-in-shelves. “We keep the extra linens in here. Pillows, blankets, sheets, etcetera,” you said, showing him inside the closet.

You shut the door and walked back over to the door to the hallway.

Joshua walked over and peered into the hall for any sign of your parents. “And where’s your room?” he asked softly, grabbing you by the hips and pulling you closer. You jerked your head gesturing down the hall. “Last door,” you replied. Joshua glanced at the door and then back at you.

“And your parents?” he asked nervously. “Other side of the house is where the master suite is,” you answered. “So opposite sides.” Joshua’s brow raised and he offered a cheeky smile before letting go of you. “She get you all squared away?” your father asked with a smile. Joshua nodded.

“Yep, all set,” he answered. “Alright, we’ll we’re heading to bed,” he announced, leaning in to kiss the side of your head. “Don’t stay up too late,” he said, shooting the both of you a smile before he headed down the hall towards the living room.

“We should probably turn in as well,” you said softly. Joshua nodded, although he really didn’t want you to go to your room and be so far away from him but it’s not like it was another world. You were down the hall. “Yeah,” he murmured. “Even with the daylight, I’ll still have a drive ahead of me.”

Well, goodnight,” you said shyly, leaning forward to press a kiss to his cheek. As you pulled away, Joshua pulled you in for a proper kiss, nuzzling his nose against yours before letting you pull away again. “Goodnight, beautiful,” he murmured, smiling as you bit your bottom lip and turned to retreat to your bedroom.

He shut the door of the guest room and walked over to the bed, pulling back the sheets. He mentally cursed, forgetting to turn off the light and walked over, flipping the switch off and returning to the bed. He stripped himself of his pants, folding and setting them neatly on top of the dresser before climbing into the bed and pulling the covers up, sighing in relief to find the bed was actually pretty comfortable.

He wasn’t sure how much sleep he’d get, knowing you were just down the hall but he rolled onto his side, shutting his eyes and hoping exhaustion would catch up with him and that sleep would come soon.

You had changed into your sleep shirt, tossed your dirty clothes in the hamper and made your way to your bed, turning your light off on the way and climbing into your nest of blankets and pillows. Laying back against the pillows, arms crossed, you stared up at the ceiling and tried to focus on getting rid of the throbbing ache between your legs.

‘It was just a stupid kiss,’ you told yourself. ‘Why are you getting so worked up over a kiss?’

You rolled onto your side and tried to will yourself to sleep but the throbbing just made you press your thighs together to find some sort of relief only none would come. You were still tense and turned on from your encounter in the church back room with Joshua and your new panties were already sticking to you.

‘I guess I’ll just take them off!’

You shimmied out of your panties and tossed them in the direction of the hamper. You were settling back when you had a great idea. “No panties,” you murmured. “It just might work.”

You pulled back the covers and got out of bed, tiptoeing over to the door and opening it quietly. You hoped that Joshua was still awake. It hadn’t been that long but you were sure he was exhausted so he might have fallen asleep already. You crept down the hall, listening for any sound of your parents.

Upon reaching the door, you knocked lightly, calling Joshua’s name through the wood.

The first time, there was no answer so you tried again. This time you heard a muffled “yeah?” through the door and opened it. “Y/N?” Joshua asked through the dark. “Are you okay?” he asked, propping himself up. It was dark but you could still make out his silhouette from the built-in bathroom nightlight.

“Is everything oka- Y/N? Yah, what are you doing?” Joshua hissed as you shut the door and snuck over to the bed, pulling back the covers and climbing in. “We’re gonna get caught and then your dad is going to throw me out into the snow,” he continued as you snuggled up to him. “No he won’t” you whispered back.

Joshua opened his mouth to retort but you cut him off with a kiss, one that he immediately leaned into. “You created a problem,” you murmured against his lips, pulling him closer so his chest was flush with yours. “Problem?” Joshua asked in between your kisses.

“What kind of problem?”

You grabbed one of his hands, guiding it down between your thighs. Joshua’s eyes shot open as he realized you’d gotten into the bed without any shorts or underwear on. ‘Fuck.’

“Are you insane?” he hissed but you ignored him, pushing him onto his back as you climbed on top of him. “Y/N,” Joshua said, his voice low like it was a warning. You leaned over, taking his face in your hands as you kissed him. You felt his arms wrap around your back, holding you against him as he kissed you back. “If I get killed by your dad, I’m coming back to haunt your ass,” he murmured before sitting up.

You let out a soft giggle as he took your hands from his face and pushed you onto your back, hovering over you as his hips rested against yours. On instinct, you wrapped your legs around his waist, letting out a gasp as the cloth of his underwear brushed against you, giving you a minute amount of friction.

“If we’re going to do this,” Joshua said softly, one hand moving up to cup your cheek as he looked into your eyes. “You’re going to have to keep it down,” he continued, thumb stroking your cheek. “Can you do that for me, angel?” You nodded eagerly. “Yes,” you breathed out. “Of course. I promise.”

The moment the words left your lips, Joshua rolled over, pulling you on top of him, guiding your hips over his growing erection. You breathed out a soft moan, eyes fluttering shut as you followed his guidance. “Show me how bad you want it,” Joshua murmured, hands sliding from your hips up to your waist, pushing your sleep shirt up and glancing down at your naked lower half.

You grinded against him, leaving a trail of your arousal on his underwear. He’d have to wash them the minute he got home. “Hang on baby,” he murmured, halting your movements. You pouted at him as he chuckled, guiding you off his lap before he shimmied out of his underwear to avoid you soiling it any further.

“Come here,” he said softly, holding his hand out which you took eagerly, allowing him to guide you back on his lap, his half hard cock resting against his abdomen. “Sit down,” he instructed, his voice breathless as you did so, letting out a whimper before covering your mouth with your hand.

“Sorry, Shua,” you whispered, looking down at him. “Just feels so good.” Joshua reached up, cupping your cheek tenderly. “I know, sweetheart,” he murmured before taking your hips in his hands. “Come on now,” he urged. “Show me how badly you want my cock.”

You whined softly, grinding against him with renewed vigor, the heat of his cock against you driving you crazy. “Please, Shua,” you mumbled, trying to keep the volume of your voice down. “Please let me ride you. Wanna feel it inside me.”

Hearing your breathless voice whining for his cock almost made him break his resolve but he wanted to tease you just a bit longer. “No,” he replied, his fingers digging into your hips. “Keep going, baby girl. Show me just how bad you need it and then I’ll let you have it.”

You let out another whine, a little louder this time, grinding harder and feeling the underside of his cock drag through your slick folds against your clit. Your thighs shook from the sensation, fingers curling into the sheets on either side of Joshua’s head.

“That’s it,” he urged. “Keep going. Just like that.”

Joshua’s hands moved your hips faster, guiding you over his cock and pulling you against him at the same time. You let out a gasp, shuddering at the feeling, trying to fight against Joshua’s grip but failing as he pushed and pulled your hips, bucking up into you with a stifled groan.

“J-Josh,” you stammered, arms shaking as you struggled to keep yourself up. Sensing your arms were about to give out, Joshua sat up, rolling you over onto your back and pinning you under him as his hips rested against yours, settling between your thighs. “You know how hard it was for me to not pull over earlier into an empty lot and fuck you in the car?” he whispered, rolling his hips as his lips brushed against your jaw, nuzzling his nose against your cheek.

“How hard I was thinking about doing just that?”

You whimpered, holding back a moan as his cock continued to glide through your folds.

“About as hard as I am right now,” he continued. “Josh, please. I need you,” you whimpered softly, choking back a sob. Joshua lifted his head to take in the sight of your eyes shining with unshed tears, a pout on your lips. He moved a hand up to your cheek, cooing at you.

“Aww, poor baby. Feels so good?” he asked. You nodded, fighting back the urge to cry. “You’re so wet,” he murmured, rutting against you. “Bet I’d slip right in,” he continued. You nodded, babbling incoherent words between your pleas for him to fuck you.

“Shhh,” he whispered, brushing his thumb over your bottom lip, pausing as you parted your lips and allowed his thumb into your mouth, sucking on the tip. “God, I just wanna use that pretty mouth of yours so bad,” he murmured, watching your lips wrap around his knuckle.

He could feel your tongue against his thumb, swirling around it lazily.

“Is that okay?” he asked softly, making you open your eyes. “Can I use your mouth, beautiful?” His cock twitched against you when you nodded, eyes fluttering shut as he pulled his thumb from your mouth and pushed himself up. “Come here,” he murmured as he sat back against the headboard, helping you up and guided your hand to his cock now coated in your arousal.

You started stroking him languidly, making him choke back a moan. “Use your mouth, pretty,” he urged. “Show me what a slut you are for my cock.” No sooner than the words were out of his mouth, he had to bite down on his knuckles as you took him in your mouth, bobbing your head as you held the base of the shaft firmly. “F-fuck, baby,” he groaned.

“That’s it,” he encouraged you. “Take all of it like a good girl, I know you can.”

You moved your hand, sinking down until the tip of his cock reached the back of your throat. Joshua moved his hand to the back of your head, pushing down just a little more, letting out a shudder when you gagged around his cock. He let you back up for air, praising your efforts.

“Just like that, keep going.”

You wrapped your fingers around his cock, stroking it faster before spitting on the tip, making Joshua hiss. “Fuck,” he moaned, trying to keep the sound in the back of his throat. “When did you turn into such a dirty slut?” he asked, holding back another moan as you took him back in your mouth, sinking down all the way again. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gotten such sloppy head and watching you try and swallow him down was making it harder and harder to hold back his orgasm.

He was about to just fuck your mouth and be done with it when you pulled off, noticing his cock twitching. “Gonna cum?” you asked looking up at him. Joshua shook his head, grabbing your wrist. “Not yet,” he answered. “Come here.” He pulled you into a messy kiss, ignoring the salty taste of his precum on your tongue as he guided you onto your back.

Your thighs spread as he settled between them, leaning onto his side a little to open you up for him.

He brought two fingers to your mouth. “Open,” he instructed. You did as he said, taking his fingers in your mouth and coating them in your saliva. Joshua pulled them from your mouth, moving them down to your sex and rubbing them against your slick folds before pushing past them and teasing your slit.

You sighed as he pushed one finger in first, curling it carefully and pumping it in and out before adding the second. Once he was knuckles deep, he started curling his fingers against your walls, thumb brushing over your clit as he kept his gaze on your face.

You moaned softly, wrapping an arm around his neck and pulling him down to hide your face. “Feel good, baby?” he whispered in your ear. You nodded with a muffled whine. Joshua chuckled as he continued to finger you, stretching your walls as he scissored you open, prepping you to take his cock.

The tension had started when you were grinding on him but that had been localized to your clit. This tension was more. Your clit and inside your stomach like a rubber band being pulled back and increasing the tension. Soon you were going to snap. “Shua!” you gasped, thighs threatening to close and they would have had he not been leaning against on, pinning it to the mattress under his weight.

“You gonna come for me, pretty?” he asked softly. You nodded, drawing your bottom lip between your teeth to hide your moan. “That’s it,” he murmured. “Come for me.” Your back arched off the mattress as your orgasm drew closer and closer. “S-Shua,” you whined in hid neck.

Joshua pulled back to look down at you. “Open your eyes,” he ordered. Your eyes fluttered open, meeting his in the dark room and the smirk that spread over his face had yours burning. “Keep them open,” he urged. “Wanna watch you cum. Look at me when you cum,” he added.

You whined, walls fluttering around his fingers as your orgasm started to wash over you. Joshua held your gaze as his fingers fucked you through your first orgasm of the night. You whined, hips following his movements until you were begging him to stop.

Joshua let out a soft chuckle as he pulled his fingers out of your soaking cunt. “So pathetic and pretty when you cum,” he murmured, bringing his fingers coated in your essence to your lips. “Open for me,” he continued, sliding his fingers over your tongue when you parted your lips.

��Clean them for me.”

While your tongue lapped at his fingers, he pushed your sleep shirt up with his free hand, exposing your chest. “Fuck, I missed these,” he murmured, hand ghosting over your chest. He pulled his fingers from your lips, chucking when you pouted and whined for his fingers back.

“I promise you’ll get them back in a bit, baby. Let me take care of this first,” he murmured, tugging your shirt up and off when you finally sat up for him. His shirt was quick to join the pile of discarded clothes on the floor as he knelt between your thighs. “Shit, wait,” he said hesitating. “Do you have a condom?” he asked. You waved towards the guest bathroom, still coming down from your high.

Joshua climbed off the bed and snuck into the bathroom, opening the drawers as quietly as he could, finding an unopened box of condoms in the back of one of the drawers. ‘Jackpot,’ Joshua thought to himself as he carefully and quietly opened the box, placing it back in the drawer before shutting it and returning to you. He tore open the foil packet, pulling out the latex and carefully rolled it on.

Once securely on, he climbed back onto the bed, kneeling between your thighs and grabbing your hips to pull you against him. He took the base of his cock in his hand guiding the head to rub against your clit, making you whine in anticipation. Joshua spit into his hand and added it to the lubrication on the condom and rested the tip against your slit.

“You still with me, angel?” he asked, looking down at you. Your eyes opened to meet his and nodded. “I’m still here,” you replied. “Want you so bad, Shua,” you whined. Joshua fought the urge to laugh at how cute you were. “Open them a little more,” he said, tapping the inside of your thigh with his free hand. You spread your legs a little wider, groaning as you felt him start to push the head of his cock into you.

“Mmm, fuck,” Joshua swore under his breath. “So tight and warm,” he breathed out, easing his way in, gliding against your walls. Your thighs fell open wide as he bottomed out, letting all of him in. “Good girl,” he murmured, leaning over to press a kiss to your temple.

“Taking me so well.”

You gasped as he gave you a shallow thrust. “Sore?” he asked and you shook your head. “N-no,” you stuttered. “Feels so good. So full.” Joshua smirked against your skin, pulling back and giving you a singular thrust, relishing in the sound that escaped your lips and the way your walls clenched around him. “So. Fucking. Tight,” he hissed in between thrusts.

“But taking me so well. Like you’re my own personal slut,” he groaned, hips setting a steady pace as he thrust into you. “My own little fuck toy, right?” he asked. You nodded weakly. Joshua scoffed, fingers closing around your throat firmly but not so tight you couldn’t breathe.

“Answer me, you dirty little slut,” he growled. “Yes,” you gasped. Joshua raised a brow. “Yes what?” He slowed his hips, allowing you a moment to speak. “I’m your little fuck toy,” you whispered. He smirked, picking up the pace, his hips hitting your ass. “If only your father could see his little girl right now. Getting railed by the Sunday school teacher.”

You whined, your hands wrapping around his wrist as he held you down by the throat. Your walls fluttered around him and he chuckled softly. “Of course the little slut likes getting choked,” he scoffed. “Such a dirty whore,” he murmured. “Too bad you aren’t more of a brat,” he continued. “Would love to fuck the attitude out of you.”

“Shuh-Shua!” you whined. His pace quickened, releasing your throat and moving his hand up to your mouth. “Open,” he ordered. You obeyed immediately, welcoming his fingers in your mouth to shut you up. “Gonna fuck you for real now,” he muttered, his free hand moving up your stomach to your chest, squeezing and kneading.

“Should I turn you over and fuck your like the slut you are?”

You moaned against his fingers and Joshua chuckled lightly, pulling his fingers from your mouth before pulling out of you, giving your pussy a light slap when you whined in protest. “Turn over on your stomach,” he ordered. You rolled over, muffling a squeal as he grabbed your hips and lifted them, grabbing one of the pillows and folding it in half to place under your stomach.

Once he was satisfied, he guided the head of his cock back to your entrance, pushing into you with ease and taking both your hips in his hands. “Now you really need to be quiet,” he warned. You cried out into the sheets, muffling your moans and mewls as Joshua pounded into you from behind You were sure the sound of his skin hitting yours would wake your parents up but surprisingly, you didn’t hear a peep from them.

“Fuck,” Joshua groaned, hands sliding to squeeze your ass. “Next time I think I’d like to fuck your ass,” he growled, letting out a breathless laugh when your walls tightened around him. “Does my little cockslut want that? Want me to fuck your ass? Bet you’d even let me do it without a condom, wouldn’t you?”

You nodded fervently, keeping your face hidden in the sheets. “And I bet you’d let me fill you up. Just fill your ass with cum and turn you into my own personal cum dumpster. Wouldn’t you?” You nodded again, gasping as you felt his nails dig into the flesh of your ass.

“I’d fuck you so hard you would be able to sit or walk,” he groaned, hips faltering as his own orgasm drew closer. “Fuck, m’not gonna last much longer. You close, angel?” You whined in the sheets, begging him for more. “Touch yourself then, sweetheart. Do what sluts do and get yourself off. Cum on my cock like a good little slut.”

Your hand darted between your thighs, fingers finding your clit and working circles around it in time with Joshua’s thrusts. With each pass over your clit and drag of his cock against your walls, your orgasm drew near. The tension pooling in your abdomen snapped and you released, a gush of warm liquid rushing out of you as you came with a muffled cry.

Joshua wasn’t far behind, the spasming of your cunt pushing him over the edge and he leaned over your back, sinking his teeth into your shoulder as he emptied into the condom, hips riding out both your climaxes until he finally slowed to a stop.

After a couple moments, Joshua pulled from you, letting out a deep inhale as he pulled the condom off and tied it off before getting off the bed and disappearing into the bathroom. You could hear the faucet in the sink running before it shut off and Joshua returned with a wet washcloth, starting to wipe you down and clean you up.

Once he’d finally wiped the remnants of your release from your lips and thighs, he helped you put your shirt back on before pulling his and his underwear back on and settling under the covers with you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close.

Silence washed over you before he finally spoke. “So, this isn’t exactly the way I wanted things to go,” he murmured in your ear, pressing a kiss to your cheek and tugging your closer. “But I still really want to take you on a proper date.”

A smile spread across your face and you turned to look back at him, reaching up to cup his cheek. “I’d really like that,” you said softly. Joshua’s lips spread into a smile before he pressed a couple of chaste kisses to your lips. “But only if we can keep having mind-blowing sex afterwards,” you whispered, making him bite back a laugh.

“I think I can manage that, angel.”

ⓘ Graphics made by me. Content and support banners made using a template by cafekitsune. I do not allow reposts, translations, or continuations of my works. All writing and graphics are ©️ kwanisms.

#svthub #ksmutsociety #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen fanfic #seventeen smut #seventeen x reader #joshua hong scenarios #joshua hong imagines #joshua hong fanfiction #joshua hong fanfic #joshua hong smut #joshua hong x reader #tales from camp holiday special

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janegorelove · 2 months ago

Text

𓁺ℌ𝔦!𓁺

I'm Jane and I'm a 🇺🇦 writer/artist who lives in 🇩🇪!

I make art about philosophy, sexuality, and esoteric spirituality, chiefly working in an intersection of writing and graphic design!

My current main project is 𝔅𝔬𝔬𝔨𝔰 𝔬𝔣 𝔓𝔩𝔢𝔞𝔰𝔲𝔯𝔢, a metafiction universe focused around a convent of lesbian nuns with their own unique belief system. The story is being delivered through zines which work as chapters of a multimedia hyperbook in the making.

You can find more info about this, along with some ways to support me, on my IG (I also semi-regularly make schizoposts of visual and textual variety there).

My original content on tumblr is going to be posted under the #janegl_oc tag for now.

𓁺

I'm planning to use this blog for the more kink-oriented side of my content and online presence, so here are the outlines of what sensitive themes I might be bringing up from time to time.

Potential TWs for my content:

• Inc𝔢st

• Fictional non-sad𝔦stic necr𝔬phi𝔩ia/thanatoph𝔦lia

• Spirituality/cult themes in conjunction with sexuality

• Age gap relationships

• Fictional human×feral stuff in which everyone is on the same level of consciousness/awareness and is able to consent

• Use of psychoactives

• Omorashi and general pee stuff, mostly no ingestion or diapers.

• Weeb sensibilities 💀

• Pretentiousness 😭

𓁺

Things I'm actively uncomfortable with:

• Openly sadistic and noncon dynamics. Anything I write/create or discuss is imagined to be fully consensual and mutually pleasant+beneficial. I might outright block people who use words like 'r𝖆pe', 'sn𝖚ff', etc. with no context/warning in their content (it's not personal in the way where I think you shouldn't be using them, but it is personal in a way where these are my personal triggers, so there's no ill will, just a boundaries thing).

• Heavy 𝔅𝔇SM

• Heavy impact play

• Sc𝔞t, em𝔢to, most bl𝔬𝔬d stuff

• Hetero stuff, most orientation play

𓁺

Other things are either totally okay or I'll see/warn on a case-by-case basis.

𓁺

Thanks for reading and welcome^^

♥︎∇ 𝔐𝔞𝔶 𝔏𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔥-𝔖𝔞𝔭𝔭𝔥𝔬 𝔤𝔲𝔦𝔡𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔦𝔫 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔧𝔬𝔲𝔯𝔫𝔢𝔶𝔰 Δ♥︎

#lesbian #wlw #sapphic #nblw #fem4fem #esoteric #chaos magick

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pastshadows · 11 months ago

Text

Shadows of the Past

Chapter 1: Abandonment

Summary: After a year of blissful cohabitation, Astarion disappears without a trace, leaving behind a heartfelt letter explaining his departure. Determined to find him, you traverse Faerûn in search of your lost love, only to realize that some absences are meant to be permanent.

Returning to Waterdeep, you find solace in the company of Gale as you come to terms with Astarion's absence. But just as you begin to heal, Astarion reappears, begging for a second chance at love.

The question looms: can you forgive his abandonment and trust him once more? As you grapple with your emotions and trauma, a sinister force lurks in the shadows, targeting you for unknown reasons.

With danger closing in, you must navigate the treacherous waters of trust, love, and betrayal to uncover the truth behind the mysterious entity's motives. Will you be able to reunite with Astarion while facing the demons of your past? Can you unravel the secrets that threaten your very existence?

Setting: Post End-Game. Mostly canon compliant.

Word Count: 6.3K

Content: Explicit - intended for mature audiences.

Warnings: [Additional tags will be added, but expect mature content / read at your own risk.

Spoilers. Mentions of in-game missable content. Violence. Longing. Sexual themes. Blood drinking. Angst. Innuendos. High use of sarcasm. Completely fabricated camp interactions.

Astarion parts your legs with his knee and lowers his lips to yours in a hungry kiss. Your hand sweeps gently up the creamy skin of his side, and you revel in its familiar chill. The tips of your fingers gently brush the edges of the raised scars on his back.

Astarion stills under your touch at once, his muscles going taught as he clenches his jaw.

Fuck.

You pull back to look at him. His eyes are squeezed tightly closed, and his brows knit together in a pained grimace.

“Astarion?”

He sighs, “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. Too much for today?”

“Yes,” he whispers as shifts from his position between your thighs, sitting upright on the bed.

He runs his fingers through the silvery curls of his hair, frustrated. It breaks your heart every time seeing him like this.

“Hey, look at me.”

He glances back at you. Despair swirls in his crimson eyes. His mouth is set in a hard line.

“It’s okay.”

He shakes his head. His voice shakes with frustration, “But I want this, want you, all of you.”

You sit up and position yourself beside him but take care not to touch him.

“I know. Sometimes what we want doesn’t always align with what we need.”

He groans with a small smile tugging at his lips, “Stop being so nice to me.”

You giggle, “Why? Because it makes you want to be nice back?”

He smirks at the shared memory, “Precisely, my dear.”

His arm wraps around you, pulling you close up against him.

Laying your head on his shoulder, you take a deep breath and let your eyes drift closed, enjoying the intimacy.

This was an ongoing battle that you doubted would be won anytime soon if it ever could be. Astarion’s trauma still hooked its greedy claws into him. He would often initiate but would freeze up under your touch before you could make love.

“I could try…” he trails off.

You know what he’s going to offer. He always did.

“No, you beautiful, beautiful fool. That’s enough for today, but I will accept cuddles… if you’re up for it.”

He chuckles and lays back, resting his head on the feather pillow.

“Come here, darling.”

You cuddle up beside him, laying your head gently in the crook of his arm. He plants a soft kiss on your forehead.

When you look up at him, he looks a million miles away, staring at the ceiling blankly, losing himself in his thoughts.

You feel an odd unease tighten in your stomach. This happens regularly. Usually, your supportive words are enough to bring him back, but this time feels different somehow.

He breaks the silence with a desolate whisper, “Do you think I will ever get better?”

His desolate tone is heart-wrenching. You’ve got the feeling that he believes he may be irreparably broken from discussions you and him have had.

You plant a light kiss on his chest. Propping yourself up on your arm, you reach and cradle his face in your palm. His eyes drift from the ceiling down to you.

“You’re not broken, Astarion. We will get through this. Give it time.”

He nuzzles his face into your palm, seeking the comfort of your touch.

“I have an eternity, but your time is finite.”

You scoff at him. You’re a High Elf, just like him, and although 750 years may not be infinite like his, you have centuries to either find a cure for him or extend your life further. He’s well aware of this, but lately, he has been overly focused on the fact that you will die eventually.

“Exactly how old do you presume me to be, Astarion?”

It dawns on you that he never actually asked how old you were. For all he knew, half of your life was already over.

“Last time I checked, it was considered impolite to ask a lady her age.”

You can’t help yourself, and you burst out laughing. After all the things you two had been through together, and he thinks asking your age is going to, what, offend you?

Ridiculous man.

The expression on his face is a mixture of shock and puzzlement. His eyebrow is cocked up, and he stares at you quizzically.

“What’s so funny?”

You smirk, “My love, we have enraged and killed Gods, fought countless fiends, demons and devils, and felled a Netherbrain together, and you worry that you, my partner, my soul mate, my everything, asking my age is impolite?”

He grins, “Well… when you put it like that, I suppose it does seem a little ridiculous.”

“I have many centuries ahead of me, and I will spend them all with you, I hope.”

Astarion smiles, but there is something hidden in that smile, and it brings back the uneasy feeling you felt before. You can't quite place what it is.

Astarion grabs your hands and holds them, his thumbs caressing them comfortingly.

“I love you, and I will love you forever. You know that, right?”

There’s an odd urgency straining his voice as if he needs to know that you know this. That uneasy feeling blooms into pure anxiety at the urgency in his voice, the look in his eyes and even the smile on his face. Something feels wrong.

“Tell me what’s going on, Astarion. You’re starting to scare me.”

“Don’t be scared, my sweet. I just want you to know that I love you, now and forevermore.”

Your heart races inside your chest. Your stomach is in knots. Your whole body is screaming at you that something isn’t right.

You look at him and search his face for any signs that something is amiss, but you can’t see anything. He looks relaxed, if a little sad, but that isn’t unusual after he couldn’t perform.

“Shhhh, my love.” he purrs, “everything is fine.”

He rubs your back and kisses your shoulder softly, trying to comfort you. You lean into him.

“Astarion…”

“It’s okay. Everything is going to be okay.” he says in a low whisper close to your ear.

“Come, my love. Let’s lay down for a while until night falls. Once you fall asleep, I’ll slip out to go hunting.”

You lay back down with him, putting your head on his chest.

For some strange reason, be it due to your anxiety or his strange behaviour, you desperately don’t want him to go hunting, not tonight.

“You could feed on me tonight if you want?”

“As tempting an offer as that is, there is no need. There are plenty of animals in the forest.”

“I know, but you still could.”

You don’t even know why you’re pushing this so hard, but something deep down in you is frantic to keep him close.

“Not tonight, darling.”

He uses the same tone he used with that vile blood merchant at Moonrise, and you know better than to push it any further.

You try to relax back into him, but your body is buzzing with an anxiety you have not felt in some time. If only you could place it…

Astarion starts to hum your favourite tune low in his throat as he always did when you were feeling anxious while rubbing your arm with his fingers.

You slowly drift into a troubled trance.

When you wake up the next morning, Astarion is nowhere to be found. You had felt him leave to go hunting, but he never returned.

Did he get caught by someone or something? Did the sunrise take him by surprise, and he found someplace to wait it out?

He is always home well before the sun starts to creep over the horizon.

This was entirely unusual. He always returned and crawled back into bed with you.

Leaping out of bed, you throw your robe on and glance out the door. The day is cloudy and cool, and you can smell the rain. In a frantic rush, you throw your boots on and start toward the forest you know he goes hunting in most.

You wander the forest, calling out to him, but there are no traces of him. No dead carrion, no footprints, no signs of a struggle - just nothing. Your heart is hammering in your tightening chest, and you search frantically for anything that could lead you to him.

You spend the entire day wandering the forests. Even when the rain starts to pour down on you, leaving you soaked and freezing, you endure.

The darkness of night envelops the land, and you return home utterly exhausted, hoping to find him there safe and sound.

You open the door, and the little house is as dark, quiet and as empty as you left it.

You start a fire in the large stone fireplace and stand there to warm your frozen body.

Where could he have gone? Why did he go? What did I do?

You look around the little place you had shared with him for over a year.

It looks so empty without him…

A yellow-tinged envelope catches your eye, sitting on your bedside table. You must have missed it in your rush to go find him this morning.

Picking it up, a sense of dread fills you. It smells of rosemary, bergamot, and brandy. Your hands shake as they open the letter, and you slip out the neatly folded piece of paper.

Placing the envelope down, you sit on the edge of the bed, staring at the folded letter. You pray that this isn’t what you think it is, but a part of you knows it’s precisely what you fear.

Your trembling hands have trouble unfolding the parchment. It’s written in a beautiful hand.

“My Dearest Love,

My only one, I’m sorry it had to be this way. I knew I would never have the strength to say goodbye to you in person, to look into your eyes and see the hurt I’d caused. I am a coward, as I always have been.

I believe being with me is holding you back from the beautiful life and love you deserve; one I am unable to provide for you.

I love you too much to keep dragging you down into the dark.

I hope you can forgive me one day.

You made my dead heart beat anew. I could never forget you.

I love you now and forevermore.

Love always,

Astarion"

Tears slide down your reddened face and drip onto the parchment in your hand. Once you’re finished reading it, it slips from your fingers and floats to the floor.

He left me…

You curl up on the bed you had shared with him for years, breathing the scent of him that lingered on the sheets. Violent sobs wrack your body as your heart is torn asunder.

How could he do this…

You cry until your body can’t produce any more tears, and you finally drift into a grief-stricken sleep.

In the morning, you look around the little house you shared with him and realize that he had taken some of his belongings but not all of them.

How long had he been playing this?

Your once cozy home now feels cold, empty and claustrophobic. The walls feel like they are closing in on you.

What am I going to do?

You stay in that little house for a couple of weeks, hoping Astarion will change his mind and come back to you.

A useless fantasy

He never returns, but you never expected him to.

You had spent every night over the last several weeks wandering the forest surrounding the area, checking his favourite hunting spots.

In the city, you had tried searching for him in the taverns, the hostels, the flophouses, everywhere you could think of. You even followed the roads until sunrise, hoping you might bump into him.

In truth, you knew that you would never find him if he didn’t want you to, but you had to try at least.

You spend the next years searching for him in every place you can think of.

You search Baldur’s Gate and all his regular haunts.

You go back to the Underdark to see if he went there. He had talked about helping the other spawn at one point, but his siblings tell you they haven’t seen him. You even use Detect Thoughts covertly to see if they are lying to you, just in case.

You return to the Grove even though you know it’s a long shot. He wasn’t ever fond of that place.

You even search old camping spots he was particularly fond of. You doubted he would return to sleeping on the ground, but you tried anyway.

You find nothing, of course. It was as if he just disappeared from existence entirely.

Eventually, all hope fades away, and you are forced to face the fact that he’s gone and he’s not coming back.

Not knowing where else to turn, you decide to go to Waterdeep, where Gale has kindly offered that you stay with him for as long as you need to.

You start a new life there, as best you can.

Months Later

“Good morning! Can I offer you some tea?”

Gale’s overly chipper tone in the morning makes you cringe inwardly.

How could someone be this happy in the morning?

“Yes, please.”

You rub your tired eyes, yawning.

“Splendid!”

Gale places a steaming mug of herbal tea on the table, and you take it in your hands, enjoying the warmth.

“You look tired, my friend. Are nightmares still troubling you?”

Your rest is plagued by constant, unforgiving nightmares that often wake you up screaming into the dead of night.

“I’m fine. If I keep you up at night, I could move to a room further away?”

Gale’s manor was grand, of course. It had more rooms than you cared to count and all the luxuries you could ever want. Despite that, this never felt like home, even after all this time.

“There’s no need. I’m usually awake, nose buried in a good book. At least it is nothing like Wyll’s snoring. Gods.”

You both laugh at that. Wyll had snored so loud some nights that you were worried Astarion would kill him just for some peace and quiet.

“So, what’s on the docket for today?”

“Oh, I’m going to go out into the city to meet some friends.”

“That sounds like a lovely idea! I’m glad you’re making friends. I’d love to meet them.” Gale’s grins happily.

“Of course, um, one day, okay?”

“I can host a grand dinner and make them my signature dish!”

You almost choke on your tea. Gale tried, but most of his cooking was… lacklustre.

“I better go get ready then. Thank you for the tea.”

Returning to your room, you slip into a clean robe and pull on your boots before heading down the long, winding staircase.

Gale is waiting at the bottom of the stairs, “will you be home in time for dinner?”

“Oh, no, probably not. Don’t wait for me.”

“Be careful out there at night, this isn’t Baldur’s Gate, but it’s not exactly safe either,” he warns with a worried look.

You want to roll your eyes at him but stop yourself. Did he think you couldn’t take care of yourself? You had spent years roaming Faerûn looking for Astarion by yourself and only returned with a handful of new scars.

Well, ones he can see anyway.

“I’ll be careful, Gale. Thank you.”

With that, you slip out of the door into the air, chilled by the breeze coming off the sea. It was truly beautiful here… if only you could appreciate it.

You walk briskly through the busy city streets, wanting to leave them behind you as quickly as possible. Waterdeep was a busy city, and people already packed the thoroughfare going about their days.

You had spent so much time by yourself during your years searching for Astation that you had become accustomed to being alone. You were still trying to acclimatize to city life again.

Stopping at a small tavern, you buy yourself some wine.

Probably not the healthiest way to deal with my issues...

Near the outskirts of the city, you see the familiar little path that you walk almost every day. It took you to a beautiful lookout point that no one seemed to visit. It was your favourite place to be alone.

The wealthy of this city don’t want to ruin their fine boots, I suppose.

You sit on the edge of the cliff face, letting your legs hang over precariously.

What am I going to do about Gale wanting to meet these “friends” of mine

Truthfully, you’d made up these “friends” so you could get some time alone. Gale was your friend, and you enjoyed his company, but he could be overattentive at times.

The silence up here was as beautiful as the views. The noises of the city were left behind, and only the soft winds blowing through the trees could be heard.

You uncork one of the bottles and drink straight from it. You had no; how did Gale put it - ah yes, decorum.

You spend the entire day sitting up there, drowning your heartache in the only elixir that could lessen the pain in your chest and numb the void in your soul.

I can’t believe it’s been years.

You often think about the time you spent together, replaying it over and over, analyzing every interaction, every word, every touch.

What did I do wrong? Was it something I said? Something I did? Something I didn’t do? Something I didn’t say?

Tears fall from your eyes at the memories, and you wipe them away with the back of your hand.

I thought we were happy.

You watch the light of day slowly fade as the sun drops below the horizon, blanketing the city in the dullness of night.

I guess I should go back.

You stumble your way down the steep path.

Perhaps I had too much today.

Reaching the city, you walk through the now slightly less busy streets. Much of the throngs of people have retired to their homes or, more likely, the taverns of the city. You hear vivacious laughter from some of the taphouses, signaling the end of another day.

A light breeze stirs, and you faintly catch the scent of rosemary and bergamot. Even in the wine’s blissfully numbing embrace, your heart clenches and leaps in your chest.

You look around in every direction, but no one and nothing stands out.

You sigh, chiding your heart, telling it to stop flip-flopping around in your chest.

It isn’t him. It will never be him again.

You continue walking, but every time the breeze stirs, that smell of rosemary and bergamot drifts with it.

Great, now the very Gods themselves are fucking with me.

You can’t help but stop to look around again. You make sure to pay extra attention to dark corners and alleys, but you see nothing out of the ordinary.

Or perhaps, I’m just going crazy.

You shake your head and laugh at yourself for being so foolish, but another tear escapes your eye and glides slowly down your cheek.

Rounding a corner into a dimly lit corridor, you come face to face with a group of people looking particularly dishevelled. Their eyes slither over you repulsively.

“Well, well, what do we have here? A little lady, all lost and alone?”

Excellent. This is just what I need today - a mugging.

“Don’t be scared; no one has to get hurt here. Just give us your coin, and we will be on our way. Won’t we, lads?”

Foul, yellow-stained toothy grins split across the faces of the others malevolently.

They each draw small blades, so small you would hardly call them daggers. You very nearly laugh at their pathetic excuse for weapons.

The citizens of Waterdeep must be easy to scare; fortunately, I am not.

Grasping the weave, you turn, but before you can even get a cantrip playing on your fingertips, you hear a familiar voice.

“Touch her and die.”

No… it can’t possibly be.

The group of dishevelled people look around wildly, trying to find the source of that voice.

One of them steps forward threateningly, “Trying to play tricks on us, sorcerer? We aren’t so easily spooked.”

Your eyes search the rooftops surrounding the corridor. If he were to be anywhere, it would be there. You don’t see anything at first, but you catch a glimpse of movement and faintly make out a figure moving over the roofs shrouded in darkness.

Stepping closer, with that sad excuse for a dagger pointed at you, the man growls, “Your coin. Now. We won’t ask nicely again, little lady.”

Astarion jumps down in front of you with his blades drawn.

“Final warning. Try to touch her and die.”

You’re speechless, just staring at the back of his head in bewilderment.

How much did I have to drink today? Am I hallucinating?

The group sizes Astarion up, no doubt wondering if all 5 of them could take on 1 of him.

With a shake of your head, you finally regain some of your composure and stand next to Astarion with a fireball playing on your fingertips.

“Do they dare?” he whispers only loud enough for you to hear.

“I kind of wish they would,” you whisper back, but lower knowing his hearing is much better than your own.

He chuckles under his breath.

They stare at you with your fire, and the look at their weapons compared to Astarion’s, gawking at them before they bolt off as if the fires of the Hells themselves were licking at their ankles, leaving you and Astarion standing there laughing.

The laughter falls away abruptly and is replaced by abashed crimson eyes as he turns toward you.

“Astarion?”

You reach out to him, needing to be sure this isn’t a hallucination brought on by your sleep deprivation or just another dream.

He gently takes your hand in his and plants a soft kiss on the back. The bracing chill of his skin sends a shiver running up your spine.

“Yes, darling. It’s me.”

Your temper ignites, rage flashes through you like wildfire, and you shove him hard.

“You left me!”

Your lower lip quivers. Tears immediately flood your eyes and spill down your reddened cheeks in small streams.

The corners of his mouth draw downwards, and remorse saturates his expression.

“I know.”

Your chest feels tight as if your lungs are constricting around your wildly beating heart, and you swallow the lump rising in your throat.

“What did I do wrong?” Your voice shakes.

His eyebrows pop upwards, creasing his forehead and his eyes round in shock.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Then why?!”

Bringing his hand to the back of his neck, he sighs, “I thought… I thought it was for the best.”

“For who?”

You know the answer, but you want to hear him say it.

“You.”

Indignation reignites the raging wildfire, and you shoot him a smouldering glower.

“Fuck you, Astarion! What gave you the right to decide what’s best for me?”

“You’re right.”

His admittance catches you off guard. The repentant tone of his voice washes over you like a wave, quelling the fiery rage burning through your veins.

Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath, filling your lungs with the brisk air, trying to rein in your emotions.

Exhaling slowly through your mouth, you meet his gaze again, “Why are you here, Astarion?”

He shuffles his feet, “I’ve been looking for you.”

You scoff, “Why? Why now?”

He rubs his hands together, “If you are willing to hear me out, I would like to… talk.” he glances away from you, unsure of himself, “I understand if you don’t want to. If you never wish to see me again, say the word, and you will never have to lay eyes on me again.”

“Not tonight.”

“Of course, whenever you want to. I’m staying at an inn on the edge of town called Golden Harp Inn, room 2.”

“I’ll think about it. Goodbye, Astarion.”

You turn away from him, squeezing your eyes shut, biting your lower lip, fighting the urge to cry.

“Would you allow me to walk you home?”

Your eyelashes sweep up as you look to the heavens, exasperated.

“Are you going to follow me regardless?”

He chuckles, “Probably, but I’ll be eminently more discreet about it.”

“You know I can take care of myself, right?”

“Of course, darling. I’m well aware you can burn anyone you wish to ash, or worse.”

A small smile pulls the corner of his mouth upward, and his fangs just barely peek out of his lips.

That damn smile tugs at your heart strings as it always did.

Gods, I’ve missed him.

You roll your eyes, “Fine.”

“Lead on.”

You walk together in an awkward silence. His trained eyes observe the surroundings, instinctively searching for dangers lurking in the murky gloom. You’re thankful when you reach Gale’s grandiose manor.

Astarion looks up at the tower reaching high into the sky, clearly impressed.

“You live here?”

“This is Gale’s Manor. I’ve been staying here with him.”

A forlorn look passes over his face, and he looks down at the ground.

“I see,” his eyebrow cocks inquisitively but regains his confident composure quickly, “I hope to see you soon. Goodnight, my dear.”

With no further ado, he strides away and disappears into the twilight like a ghost.

What in the Nine Hells am I going to do?

You give your head a quick shake, trying to dislodge your whirling thoughts.

The manor is dark when you enter, with only a few flickering candles strewn about in various places.

You tiptoe up to your way up to your room, close and lock the large door, and slowly sink to the ground, wrapping your arms around your knees.

You let the sorrow you feel consume you, and you sob inconsolably.

You awake with a start and find yourself on the floor where you had sunk to and cried yourself into some semblance of a trance.

Pushing yourself to your feet, you look at yourself in the mirror hanging on the opulently wallpapered wall. Your eyes are bloodshot and swollen with dark bags stretching out under your eyes. You groan at your reflection.

Great.

Slipping into a clean robe, you make your way downstairs. Glancing out the tall window, you surmise that dawn had barely broken the horizon. The sun sits low, split in half by the bay. The golden light is just starting to brighten the dark sky.

Sighing, you make yourself some tea and sit on the terrace. The steaming hot cup warms your hands, providing a sense of comfort.

What in the Hells am I going to do?

You hadn't been able to think about it last night, consumed by grief. The voice in your head screams at you. Your intuition wails desperately at you that you should probably ask him to leave and never return. He broke you once, and you still haven’t recovered from his sudden disappearance. Unfortunately, what you know and what you want are constantly at war with each other.

I don’t want him to go.

Whether you liked it or not, your heart still belonged to him, and somehow, you knew it always would.

Gale’s voice breaches the serene silence of the emerging dawn.

“You’re up early this morning.”

Startled, you jump, and your tea spills into your lap.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.” He says as he grabs a towel from the kitchen and hands it to you.

Taking the towel, you wipe your lap, “It’s okay. I was just lost in my thoughts.”

“Care to share what’s on your mind? Perhaps I could be of some assistance or provide a friendly ear.”

Should I tell him about Astarion?

You know you should. Gale was your friend, after all. You had quite literally been through hell and back together. He could help you sort out this mess you found yourself in if only you would let him in.

For some reason, you feel the desperate need to keep Astarion’s resurgence to yourself.

“No, it’s just my nightmares again.”

You feel an immediate gush of insurmountable guilt. The lie slips out of your mouth skillfully, much too easily for your comfort, but you’re not ready to share Astarion just yet, not until you figure out why he is here and what he wants from you.

“I’m going to go for a walk. I need to clear my head. Do you need me to pick anything up while I’m out?”

Gale shrugs his shoulder, “No, no. There’s no need to trouble yourself. Enjoy your walk.”

The early morning air is colder than you had prepared for, and you shiver slightly. You spend the day aimlessly wandering around the city, lost in your thoughts of Astarion.

What could he possibly want now? How long had he been looking for you? How did he know you were in Waterdeep?

You had so many questions that only he could answer.

The day passes in a blur, and before you know it, you’re standing outside the Golden Harp Inn as the sun starts to dip below the horizon.

You stand outside the inn in a paralyzing apprehension. An inquisitory voice penetrates your thoughts, breaking you out of them.

“Can I help you?”

Your eyes drift from the worn sign of the tavern and meet the woman's anticipatory glare.

How long have I been standing out here?

You shake your head, “Sorry. I’m looking for someone who might be staying here.”

Her brows raise in a suspicious glower, “And you’re looking for them outside?”

It was a fair question.

You plaster on the most innocent grin you can muster. “No, I just, uh... I wasn’t sure I had the right place, is all.”

She gives you a curt nod, “Well, why don’t you describe who you are looking for? I know all of my patrons.”

Your mouth quirks up in a half smile.

How do I describe him?

“Elf, extremely pale, obnoxiously smart mouth.”

“Oh, him,” she rolls her eyes hard, “he’s in room 2. Up the stairs, second door on your right.” she hesitates, judging you, “Be careful around that one, dear. He looks like he breaks hearts left and right.”

Gods, you have no idea.

You nod in appreciation, “Thank you.”

As you walk up the creaking staircase, your body trembles in anxious anticipation. You take deep breaths, trying to steady the untamed beating of your heart.

You warily eye the wooden door with the tarnished bronze #2 nailed precariously onto it, but you hesitate to knock.

Do I want to do this?

A muffled voice rings out from behind the closed door.

“I can hear you breathing, you know.”

Fuck.

Astarion opens the door and gives you a shallow bow, inviting you in.

“How did you know it was me breathing? It could have been anyone.”

He chuckles, “I can also smell your delectable blood, and I would recognize that scent anywhere.”

Of course, how could I forget that?

You bolster yourself, puffing out your chest in a silly attempt to appear more confident than you’re feeling.

“Well, I’m here. What did you want to talk to me about?”

“Straight to business, I see?”

You scowl at him in a warning, “Astarion.”

“Okay, darling. Okay.”

He stares at your with an eyebrow cocked, “Are you cold?”

“No.”

He rolls his eyes exasperatedly, “You’re shivering, my dear.”

Am I?

“Here.” he drapes a blanket around your shoulders, pulling it tight in front of you, “better?”

He’s standing close to you, and you inhale his comforting scent. He smells like the home you’ve been yearning to come back to.

“Better.”

He smiles, “Good.” He pauses, rubbing his hands together, “You… you might want to sit for this.”

Your stomach leaps into your throat, and your heart rate spikes further. What in the hell was he doing to say to you that he thought you should be sitting for? Was he about to ask you to come to his wedding? Tell you about his new lover? Ask you to kill him?

What heartbreak am I going to befall this time? I shouldn’t have come.

He reaches out and squeezes your arm in a comforting gesture, “Easy, darling.”

“What?”

“I can hear your heart beating a million miles a minute.”

You huff. You never could hide anything from him. He could read you like a favourite book.

“Just spill it, Astarion. Stop stalling.”

He glances away from you nervously, “Are you sure you wouldn’t like to sit?”

“No, I don’t want to sit.”

He sighs, “Okay, suit yourself.”

He runs his fingers through his hair, and you can see the unease he feels on his face. His usually confident demeanour is nowhere to be seen. He looks unsure of himself for the first time since you were walking into the Szarr Palace intending to kill his master.

He clears his throat and walks towards you. His gaze meets yours with an intensity that makes you gasp.

“I’ve been looking for you for a while. You’re incredibly hard to track down.”

You interrupt him, “How long?”

“Over a year.”

You would have been looking for him at the same time he was looking for you at one point.

He takes a small step toward you, “I came here to tell you… I… I want to be with you, but I didn’t realize you had moved on with…” he cringes, “Gale.”

A sad, fake smile spreads across his face, “Perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised. He always did have feelings for you, and he can give you all the things I can’t, all the things you deserve.”

You walk over to the chair, plunge yourself down into it, and start to laugh hysterically.

Astarion doesn’t look amused, but he sits on the side of the bed opposite you, looking at you like you might be cursed.

“I’m sorry,” you manage to squeeze out between giggles, “I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing at your assumptions.”

“Care to elaborate, darling?”

“Gale and I are not together, Astarion.”

His eyebrow cocks, “But you’re living with him?”

“I had nowhere else to go when you left… I couldn’t stay in our little house. You were everywhere and nowhere, and it hurt.”

Those vibrant scarlet irises glance away from you momentarily.

He meets your eyes again, “So you’re not together?”

You shake your head, stifling another giggle, “Absolutely not.”

With a wide, relieved grin, he says, “This conversation has just become much more pleasant.”

If only it were that simple.

“I don’t know if I can be with you again, Astarion.”

No matter how much I want to.

You suddenly feel uncomfortably hot and rise from the chair, shrugging off the blanket.

“What do you mean you want to be with me?”

“I want you, all of you. Without you, life is hardly worth living. The last years taught me that.”

You’re pacing around the small room now. Astarion’s eyes follow your movement keenly.

“And you thought you could just show up, and I’d what? Welcome you back with open arms?”

A chuckle rumbles deep in his chest, “A man can hope, but no.” his eyes meet yours with a humility you haven’t seen before, “I expected you to tell me to leave, or quite possibly burn me to ash, but here you are.” he pauses, “I’m sorry I left.”

You stop rapidly pacing the room and meet his eyes sadly, “I’m sorry you felt like you had to leave instead of just talking to me.”

He huffs, “Oh, come off. You were amazing.”

Tears brim in your eyes, “Then why did you leave me, Astarion?”

“I…,” he steps so close that he’s almost touching you and wipes the tears escaping your eyes with his thumb, “I was afraid.”

“Afraid of what? Me?”

“Gods, no.” he hisses, “You’re the only person I’ve ever truly cared for. Have you truly spent the last couple of years thinking I left because of you?”

“What else was I supposed to think?”

His face softens, “Oh, my love. I’m so sorry.”

Astarion wraps his arms around you in a tight hug. It takes you a minute, but you finally allow yourself to melt into him, pressing yourself hard against him. Your shoulders slump and shake with sobs.

When he finally releases you, you look up at him and are surprised to see tears running down his pale cheeks.

Instinctively, you reach up and wipe them away with the back of your hand, “Don’t cry, Astarion.”

He chuckles at you, amused, as he uses his thumb to wipe your tears away.

“Don’t cry, my love,” he whispers.

One of your hands still grasps a handful of his shirt. You’re scared that if you release him, he will disappear, and this will all be a dream.

“I was afraid.”

His words echo in the expanse of your mind.

“Why were you afraid?”

He brushes the hair out of your face tenderly and cradles your face with his palm. You press your face harder into his cool touch, your lips grazing his smooth skin.

He is home.

“I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to give you the life you deserve,” his voice lowers to a whisper, “the love you deserve.”

You scoff at him, “A life with you is all I wanted, Astarion.”

Astarion tilts your head so that your eyes meet his searching crimson gaze. His face is relaxed, and you see no signs of that mask he sometimes wore.

“Do you still want it? Me?”

His lips ghost over yours, making your eyes flutter closed.

“I could never stop loving you.”

He clicks his tongue, “That’s not an answer.”

“I’m afraid, Astarion.”

“Of what?”

“I’m afraid you will leave again when things get hard or uncomfortable. I won’t survive losing you twice.” you stare back at him with suffocating trepidation, “Perhaps we can be friends… for now.”

You can almost taste the sorrow infecting his red eyes, but he smiles anyway, “Friends. Yes… yes, I can do that.”

Thank you to all those who read/like/comment/follow/reblog/etc. I'm forever thankful for the support.

Chapters Master List - Shadows of the Past

AO3: Crossposted

If you're interested, I also write fanfic for Ascended Astarion x Spawn Tav - Fangs and Fractured Hearts

#astarion fanfic #astarion x reader #astarion x you #astarion x tav #astarion x mc #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion baldurs gate #astarion bg3 #astarion smut #bg3 #shadows of the past

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edgarbright · 5 months ago

Text

Caleb = Sylus theory

And if that turns out to be incorrect, then renamed as:

My thoughts on Caleb and Sylus!

tl;dr my heart wants Caleb back as a LI and my brain continues to report that Caleb being Sylus makes a lot of sense

General spoiler warning for any game content released up until June 18, 2024. Long post is long and has pictures.

So first things first! I’m going to need everyone to think about Caleb beyond being just our sweet and teasing childhood friend. Because if we viewed the other male leads as plainly as Caleb is often viewed, then Zayne is just a workaholic doctor, Xavier is just a narcoleptic hunter, and Rafayel is just a playful-personality artist.

But we find out Zayne has done work in battle zones as a military medic and we hear how his morals and ethics are held high when organizations like Ever Group try to recruit him. We discover that Xavier is an immortal who has flown across the galaxy in a spaceship and regularly goes toe-to-toe with criminal syndicates and wanderers alike. We learn that Rafayel is a Lemurian, the God of the Sea, and an assassin who carefully and cleverly deals out bloody revenge.

While we don’t have a lot of Caleb content in the first eight chapters and side pieces, there is still a lot of information to work with! Because we know he has been around for years and must be doing something with his time when he’s not talking with MC about coming home.

And one of the clues we’re given is that he is a busy guy. In the character notes, we read that MC doesn’t see Caleb outside of holidays after he became involved with the Aerospace Academy at Skyhaven. He has since become a pilot for the Deepspace Aviation Administration. Then there is their last argument about how they are adults now and they don’t need to keep secrets from each other. But just when Caleb is about to open up, he locks it down. And then he’s gone.

The End? Except I don’t think that’s where his story finishes.

I. Official game descriptions

Caleb: "My childhood friend. Grandma took us in when we were young. Now he works as a fighter pilot for the Deepspace Aviation Administration. Ever since he went to Aerospace Academy in Skyhaven, we don’t often see each other. But we always visit Grandma during the holidays. While he loves teasing me, he’s actually a reliable person whom I trust."

Sylus: "The leader of Onychinus is said to have built his empire on illegal Evol weapons and Protocore deals. He’s the most influential, dominant figure in the N109 Zone. However, he hasn’t been seen for a while."

II. Caleb as a love interest: Brother vs childhood friend

Stating the obvious to get it out of the way: that Papergames had to give Caleb a completely different relationship role with MC in the English-speaking market is akin to a public statement that he is going to be a love interest. They would have saved themselves the trouble by leaving him as brother if he was never going to play a more intimate role with MC.

III. Caleb and MC's lingering connection: the necklace

The “When U come back,” apple-and-dog-tag necklace picked out in a style MC really liked as a present for Caleb before he left for Skyhaven.

The necklace where, in chapter 4.06 ‘Saying Goodbye,’ MC and Caleb share a Kindled moment as we take the necklace from his hand and he leans forward to let us put it on him.

The necklace that Caleb was wearing under the bulk of his jacket when he entered Grandma’s house before the explosion.

The necklace that is nowhere to be seen after the explosion, but suddenly appears on the ground in front of us when MC looks back down. Caleb was wearing that necklace when he entered the house, but here it is now, completely intact. MC’s hands are covered in dirt and ash while the necklace is in clean condition.

Caleb is alive in one way or another. And the necklace, now back in MC’s possession, is a tie that still binds them.

IV. Official Announcement of the Next Male Lead

(Disclaimer: I am only able to go off the English fan translation and google translations so my interpretation is at the mercy of missed nuances from word choice and mis-translations. But we’re just here to be delusional have fun, so play nice!)

During the CBT in 2023, Papergames released this announcement:

Then on February 24, 2024 as part of an apology post to angry Chinese players, Papergames provided a follow-up and official confirmation that hunters will get to meet the next love interest, Qin Che/Sylus, in the next big story update coming this July 2024.

This February announcement does not mention Caleb, but then the original Q&A was clearly only referencing a question regarding a single pre-mentioned person. So between CBT and now, my understanding is that we have only ever been promised one new male lead to top us off at a quartet.

And in that initial announcement in CBT, it continues to strike me as strange that they talk about this mystery man Sylus and then they bring up Caleb. They first talk at length about someone we don’t know at all and then about someone the CBT players were already interested in: our doting brother/childhood friend, someone who clearly likes us, someone whom the MC obviously likes in return, someone with a unique personality from the other LI, and someone we have lost and grieved over and want back.

But the official name of the next male lead is Sylus.

“His identity and your relationship to him,” however, could also suggest that the name “Sylus” may not be his true name. Is there just some guy named Sylus walking around Linkon City or does he become Sylus when associated with Onychinus and when he enters the N109 zone? After all, his identity is a question, it is a mystery, he is mystery, and our relationship to him is a question. Our true relationship to him is in question, because perhaps it is someone we thought we knew but didn’t truly know at all.

V. Sylus: a powerful persona in the N109 zone

As the main story plot progresses and MC sets her sights on entering the N109 zone, she learns that the acquisition of a bold fake identity is a key part to her safety. By the sound of it, even someone like Xavier doesn’t enter as Xavier, but instead as Lumiere as it was Lumiere who was rumored to have caused a mess there recently.

Therefore I’m further encouraged that the name “Sylus” could just be a new identity for someone we already know. Even more so, once ‘Caleb the fighter pilot from the Deepspace Aviation Administration’ has officially been declared dead, the only identity left to him is Sylus.

But strangely enough, after Caleb is gone, even the character description states Sylus hasn’t been seen for a while, either…

VI. Symbols: the jacket and the crow

Caleb is wearing a Deepspace Aviation Administration (DAA) jacket before he begins attending the Airspace Academy at Skyhaven, as seen in the flashback scene. He is still wearing the same jacket on the last day we see him in chapter 4.

Of interest, in chapter 3, we see a crow in the forest watching MC and Xavier after they destroy the developing Aetherwyrm and taking Onychinus's modified Protocore.

Note the diagonal orange bars on the mechanical feature on the crow’s left wing and the design on the jacket on Caleb’s left chest:

The bars mirror one another. The crow seems to have four bars but only three are full whereas the jacket shows four full bars.

Note as well on the jacket's left arm: the crow-like head triangle with the curved wings.

With MC currently entangled in tens of thousands of years of history with three other men, I don’t think this is a game that deals with mere coincidences.

But considering this crow symbol existed on the DAA jacket before Caleb went to the academy teases all types of connections and, most appropriately, spacetime considerations rooted around the Deepspace Tunnel.

VII. The Deepspace Aviation Administration

After completing his training at the Airspace Academy, Caleb rose up to become a pilot in the Deepspace Aviation Administration. His whole job involves flying around and near the Deepspace Tunnel.

The same Deepspace Tunnel that the Linkon broadcaster speaks of so frequently regarding possible Wanderer appearances.

The same Deepspace Tunnel that appeared at the time of the catastrophe.

The same Deepspace Tunnel that Xavier and the Backtrackers took to travel from Philos to Earth.

Just as MC is learning new and weird things about the world while working as a hunter, surely Caleb has come across some new and weird things, too.

MC states that the DAA is secretive but Caleb takes it a step further: it’s not just secretive, it’s spooky! It’s creepy! It’s mysterious! It’s shadowy!

Whatever the DAA is dealing with isn’t, necessarily, normal!

Because while the DAA is of course focused on the Deepspace Tunnel, we have also heard that some of their interests lie in the Lemurian ruins…

So we shouldn’t take the Deepspace Aviation Administration at face value. Honestly, nothing in this game appears to be as good and pure as it seems! It’s suspicious that MC works as a hunter in the Unicorns division when Unicorn was also the code name for her as an experiment. The public face of Ever Group has them seeming to work medical miracles and conducting revolutionary science, but we know they conducted cruel experiments on MC, we have clues they experimented on Lemurians, and it’s revealed they have dark dealings with the Backtrackers.

Note that while Sylus is the leader of Onychinus and built it up as an empire, that doesn’t necessarily mean he is the founder. The Deepspace Aviation Administration could easily have criminal ties of their own or be a cover for a front for their true reason to exist.

But whatever is going on with the DAA, Caleb has been involved in it for many years and has kept it secret from MC this whole time.

VIII. Male Lead Introductions

It feels too strange to think that Sylus will be an entirely new face because not only would that put him at a disadvantage, it would neglect a lot of clues and game features laid out for his association and arrival.

For starters, Xavier, Rafayel, and Zayne are all introduced to MC in the very first chapter. They get faces and little encounters to go along with them.

Meanwhile Caleb is faceless. He is just a voice in chapter 1. But to the MC, it’s the familiar voice of someone she obviously knows and loves and is excited to see again. She has history and memories and a developed relationship with this person.

But even through the teasing affection shared between MC and Caleb over the phone, his face and expressions are left in the dark. He is a mystery to us.

Except… maybe we do see a face of Caleb? In the face of the all-seeing-eye of Onychinus that appears a moment after MC gets off the phone with him.

So, going back to that CBT announcement, Papergames asks if the players found any clues regarding Sylus in the main story… right before they bring Caleb into the conversation, who for all intents and purposes is dead? Whether they were making a hint or not right there it’s too suspicious.

IX. Lore: The Eye in the Sky Watching Over MC

We spot the red eye watching MC on at least three occasions:

[Top left image] At the end of chapter 1: After MC has completed her first day as a hunter and Caleb bids her goodnight after their phone call, she sees the eye for a moment outside her window as the weather begins to turn bad.

[Bottom left image] In chapter 3: MC recalls a reoccurring nightmare when her 7-year-old self was running blindly in pain and fear during the Chronorift Catastrophe. While she initially thinks it is the moon, when she wakes up she realizes it was actually the same eye she saw in chapter 1. Of interest, notice how her description of the eye’s arrival is portrayed rather positively:

Rusty-red rain falls from the sky and seeps into every nook and cranny of the city. I step over the puddles, running away. I sense a powerful force. It's about to burst from my heart. Then the moon appears. Magnificent, it descends before me. It flickers. It seems to be blinking at me.

[Right image] At the Nest in chapter 8: the eye is in a robotic contraption watching events unfold on Hunting Day and when MC is captured.

So it seems this eye has been with her since she was seven years old and it found her before even Xavier did. As an observation vessel, however, it was not able to help her. All it can do is watch. So the question is who has been watching her from the other end? Ever Group? Onychinus? The Backtrackers? Caleb in some form?

X. Caleb is never doing what MC expects

On the phone call in chapter 1, MC thought he would still be in-flight, but he brushes it off by saying they finished early. He uses this surprise “free time” to call her right when she returns home and asks how her first day as a hunter went.

When MC arrives to Grandma’s house in chapter 4, she thought he wouldn’t arrive until the next day at the earliest, but he was already home. He uses this surprise “free time” to cook and have dinner ready for her right when she arrives.

He just always seems to be a step ahead of the MC… for the sake of doting on MC!

But it’s still rather odd that lower-level military personnel would get early clock-outs so conveniently when activity in the Deepspace Tunnel and appearance of Wanderers are on the rise…

And what is he doing that is making him so sleep-deprived?

XI. FM News vs Caleb: Deepspace Tunnel Activity

For the record, all of chapter 1 takes place over a single day. MC starts her morning by receiving her badge; spends the day hunting Wanderers, meeting Xavier, and getting her placement in alpha team; spends the evening with Tara before she meets Rafayel; rushes to her 6pm check-up appointment with Zayne; has a nighttime phone call with Caleb; and spots the eye outside her window before bed.

And from morning to night, the news report and Caleb’s report are complete opposites.

“Hello, Linkon City. DPSC FM here to greet you on this early morning. Did you sleep well last night? Weather's nice today with winds at 5 km/hr. Certain areas have a higher Metaflux index due to the Deepspace Tunnel. Expect Wanderers to appear more often. We would like to thank the hunters in the city for allowing us to live a normal, peaceful life. Next, a detailed report for each district. Areas that are at a "high risk" of being attacked by Wanderers-- All medical personnel, today is going to be another busy day.”

Compared to

MC: "Did you guys encounter any Wanderers in the Deepspace Tunnel? Was it dangerous?" ... Caleb: "All right. It's been peaceful. The field within the tunnel is as stable as it can be. Very few Wanderers. Don't worry." MC: "Really? Every time you tell me not to worry..." Caleb: "Everything else is top secret. My lips are sealed."

Now, it’s entirely possible that he’s lying about the danger in order to make MC feel better, but if he was lying and the situation was more severe, he wouldn’t have gotten off work early and been able to call her.

Which also brings up the question: is he even at Skyhaven or with the Deepspace Aviation Administration at this time...?

XII. Theory Speed Bump: the Exploding House

During the phone call in chapter 1, Caleb sounds very relaxed about MC having become a hunter on her first day. He asks her how it went and when she starts talking about having had some trouble, he teases her to stop--because he knows she did well! They go on to tease each other about when he’s going to next visit and he says a very sweet good night. He doesn’t sound worried for her safety or anxious or anything of the like.

The visit at Grandma’s house in chapter 4 is a little different. He seems more worried.

Caleb shows up a day early—and if he is Sylus, leader of Onychinus who are wildly in-the-know, obviously his connections would have alerted him to the moving activity posing a danger toward MC and Grandma. But considering how well Xavier stays off most radars, the other Backtrackers are quite good at moving in secret, too. Knowing there is danger isn’t the same as knowing where or when exactly it will hit.

From the World Underneath files, Ever Group appears to have lost track of experiment subject “Unicorn,” but they still had tabs on Josephine as one of their former researchers. The files the Backtracker acquired after the explosion that he delivered to the Ever Group’s Raincoat appears to be their confirmation on MC’s identity. Although we’re left listening to the lackey’s discussion, it doesn’t appear that Ever Group intended to do MC harm just yet, but that doesn't mean she couldn't have accidentally been caught up in the explosion, too.

While MC and everyone are at the table eating, the story about the multiple metaflux explosions are shown on the TV.

When MC excuses herself from the table in order to go scout the neighborhood, Caleb, who just voiced concerns for her safety, jumps up and follows her.

Caleb very obviously lies about going shopping (my guy has empty hands when he reappears). He continues to follow her, albeit from a distance as he is not quick enough to get involved in MC’s encounter with the sneaking Backtracker (note how the MC observed that the man sounded much older than he looked).

Although it’s interesting how, after Caleb knows she was attacked and how he stuck by her side as often as he could while they were outside, he enters the house first and leaves her alone outside.

But the only reason he entered the house first and alone was because MC told him to go inside first. He was the one who suggested they return home before Grandma got worried. Whatever danger Caleb was on high alert for, I’m left conflicted if an exploding house was something he considered since it was his idea to return.

His necklace magically appearing in front of MC after the explosion, however, suggests he was involved in the necklace placement in some way.

Also we don't know what his Evol is exactly. Some players have suggested telekinesis or gravity based on how he was able to take the necklace from MC in the flashback. Magnetic force should also be considered, I think, but I won't open that can of worms here. The question is still: how deep does this rabbit hole go? Was Caleb caught in an explosion he was prepared for and escaped or is another force at work here? We know there have been many Rafayels and Zaynes in the timeline. Maybe there are many Calebs, too.

XIII. Grandma's records have no mention of Caleb

Before she took in MC, Josephine states in the World Underneath files that she has never had children before. Meaning Caleb was not in the picture before MC.

In the game character notes, MC says Grandma took both MC and Caleb in when MC was seven years old.

So where did Caleb come from? And what made her take him in, too?

When we are at Grandma’s house, we also see just one picture frame. The only ones in the picture are MC and Grandma.

In all of Grandma’s notes, there is not one mention of Caleb. There is just one instance where it looks like his name ought to be, but the notes trail off instead with an ellipsis.

Did she herself exclude him from her records or was his name purposefully removed?

Nonetheless, I'm sure the leader of Onychinus would value such anonymity, if it were him.

XIV. "A decisive man as always"

At the family meal, MC expresses concern regarding Grandma’s health. Caleb speaks up and shares that he has taken care to see that Grandma is cared for.

When MC, a little peevish-sounding in English, asks him the when and why, all Caleb does is let out a small laugh and goes back to eating.

Grandma notes that she didn’t know about this plan either. "A decisive man as always," she says with a troubled expression.

And thus Grandma has thrown an interesting character trait into the mix as Caleb always seems so laid-back with MC like he’s simply going with the flow of things. Except it’s clear he’s decisive, determined, and taking care of things behind the scenes. And surely that includes taking care of MC.

XV. Sylus's Character

We have two points of concrete information about Sylus.

The first is the game description, which I’ll repeat here: “The leader of Onychinus is said to have built his empire on illegal Evol weapons and Protocore deals. He’s the most influential, dominant figure in the N109 Zone. However, he hasn’t been seen for a while.”

The second is an observation made by Captain Jenna in chapter 3:

"We speculate it’s not about money, given Sylus’s track record," she says.

So Sylus "is said to have built" a whole empire on illegal sales but apparently he’s OK with his sales taking a loss because it’s not about money. We see in several news reports in-game about the amazing medical progress made due to the use of Protocores. Modified Protocores, especially such revolutionary ones made by Onychinus, should easily be worth more than their weight in gold. The one that MC and Xavier take from the forest is even powerful enough to start the revival process of the strongest type of Wanderer.

So we have this mysterious Sylus who has prioritized power and influence over wealth, but what can he possibly do with those if he’s gone AWOL…?

But such a decisive man who has gained authority over the N109 zone likely has everything under control, right?

XVI. Grandma Josephine vs Caleb

In chapter 4 under the title “Secret,” in part due to the mysterious locked box MC receives, we the player (not MC) learn that Grandma had entrusted MC to Zayne if the “worst-case scenario happens.”

But what about Caleb? We know that he is away from home very often so it’s highly unlikely anyone should consider something bad happening to both her and him. The “us” she uses could mean them both, but it seems more likely she meant Zayne’s promise to Grandma and MC (as MC is the beneficiary).

Let’s go back to that family meal conversation and see the follow-up reactions that show some interesting motives:

We have Caleb taking responsibility for family matters, MC and Grandma caught by surprise—then look at what Grandma does: she doesn’t argue with his decision, but instead turns to MC and immediately encourages her to get back in touch with Zayne.

Caleb’s response to that in turn is to suggest that instead of Zayne and MC meeting alone, Zayne should come for a family dinner. Caleb’s reaction feels rather sarcastic with the emphasis on “looong time.” Zayne is given the treatment of, rather than being a family friend, he is more like that kid they used to know back in grade school. Which is true. Zayne has been absent in MC and Caleb's lives for the past 10 years. Zayne hasn’t been in the picture since MC was about eleven years old and it’s been Caleb looking after MC as her childhood friend/brother this whole time.

So it’s no surprise when MC and Caleb are walking back home together that their conversation turns out like this:

"If not me, who could you possibly turn to for…" he begins, then stops. He smiles bitterly, shakes his head, and plays it off.

Is this him choking up on his yearning? Is this him realizing what Grandma tried to do earlier by bringing up Zayne, and realizing there are other people MC can turn to? Is this him realizing MC is right, that he really can’t protect her forever? Is this him realizing he can’t protect her as just Caleb? Or is there something else going on in that head of his?

It seems to me that not only are Grandma and Caleb not working together at this point, despite them both prioritizing MC's safety, Grandma might not consider Caleb outside of being the family cook!

What does Grandma know about Caleb that would make her turn to Zayne instead?

XVII. What Onychinus knows about MC's Aether Core (spoiler: everything)

Summary: This all happened in the immediate aftermath of the Chronorift Catastrophe. Dr. Noah was bought into the picture shortly after Grandma took MC into her home. Around that same time, one of the researchers who experimented on MC joined up with Onychinus. From that point on, all the other researchers started dying or disappearing—except for Grandma Josephine.

Grandma, however, is eventually killed by the Backtrackers hired by Ever Group, who had been looking for details about their missing Unicorn.

MC notes that Grandma didn’t leave any work files at home. Therefore Caleb wouldn’t have learned anything at the home.

But because Onychinus knows everything through that researcher, Sylus also knows everything that happened to MC. He knows what Josephine did. He knows about MC’s condition. He knows about her special heart. He knows about the Aether Core. He knows what dangers might pursue MC.

And what is Onychinus’s main project? Modifying Protocores.

MC learns that the frequency of her heart matches that of the modified Protocore she found in the restricted zone with Xavier. Both her heart and that modified Protocore had been effected by an Aether Core.

The crucial part I’m getting at is that Onychinus already knows about MC before she ever went to the Nest. They have known about her for around 15 years and during all this time Onychinus have never, ever approached or harmed her!

In this Sylus = Caleb scenario, he already has MC (trust me! he pleads), he already has her Aether Core, and he's trying to keep it secret, he's trying to keep her safe.

The other researchers had to die to keep her safe, because the knowledge they held of her would die with them.

"If not for me, who could you turn to for..." Caleb had once started to say, because if not for him, who else could have protected her all this time? Who else would work so tirelessly and decisively to do what needed to be done?

XVIII. Onychinus is not our enemy

One of the reasons I love Love and Deepspace is because the world building and lore are incredibly interesting. But we must use critical thinking because they are also deceptive. So many characters keep treating Onychinus as dangerous, as deadly, but we not only don’t know their true motive, we have no information on what bad things they’ve actually done besides existing outside normal society.

Both Jenna and Xavier tell us that Onychinus's most famous achievement is modifying Protocores. There is no word of Onychinus ever doing direct or indirect harm using these modified Protocores. We don’t even know to whom, exactly, they sell these Protocores—and we know that it’s not about money.

Onychinus is a mystery! What anyone knows about them is all speculation!

Ever Group, meanwhile, has conducted experiments on Lemurians as explored in Raymond's situation and experiments on MC when she was a child. These actions directly resulted in the "death" of MC numerous times and the probable death of at least one Lemurian if not more. In the World Underneath we discover that Ever Group also knows about the Backtrackers and about Philos. Ever Group hired the Backtracker that destroyed MC’s family. They also use Xavier and are plotting to, for lack of a better word, enslave him once they figure out the chemical compound of the medication he and the other Backtrackers use as injections.

It’s not a mistake, however, that Ever Group is praised by the public for their ingenuity and medical advances for the sake of a better society while Onychinus is treated as dangerous renegades.

Then there is also the Deepspace Aviation Administration who are "unraveling the unknown" at the Deepspace Tunnel while fighting Wanderers.

XIX. I promise you’ll see me every day when you wake up ;)

For the longest time I read Caleb's final promise at face value. He was coming back home to visit, so every morning when MC wakes up at Grandma’s house, she’ll see Caleb.

And I know I’m not the only one who shouted OBJECTION after the explosion (All Men Do Is Lie)!

Except waking up doesn’t have to be literal.

In the pre-registration announcement video released November 1, 2023, Zayne says the following line:

“When you and the world wake up, I hope we do not meet again.”

Perhaps MC just needs to wake up to the truth—the truth of what happened to her before she met Caleb and Zayne and Rafayel and Xavier, the truth of what Grandma and the scientists did to her as a child, the truth… of what she might find in the N109 zone, where Onychinus is, where the question to Sylus and her relationship with him will be answered…

When MC learns the truth, when she opens her eyes to the real world, she will see Caleb again.

(She will get to see him every day just like he promised.)

XX. Theoretical consideration: we’re in a time loop with possible time travel

If there are multiple timelines, it’s possible that the Sylus-Caleb we eventually meet isn’t the Caleb who entered that house before the explosion. They could be the same but different. Perhaps Caleb in one timeline died in that house while a Caleb in another timeline did not. Perhaps the necklace we picked up belonged to a different Caleb.

Because let’s be real, everything is a bit of a mess now: Dawnbreaker and Zayne sharing dreams, Xavier as an immortal alien on a completely different planet, and Rafayel has a millennia of emotional baggage to unpack and a lost civilization he has yet to revive.

There are also the rhythms in which the characters are living in their respected timelines. We have Xavier the immortal who has witnessed the many lives of MC living and dying tragically and being reborn again and again. We have Rafayel who is in a matched reincarnation cycle with MC where he seems to meet her in each life, but she has forgotten him while he may or may not have forgotten her. We have Zayne who is in an unmatched reincarnation cycle with MC where he may or may not meet her in each life, but he sacrifices himself for her sake at each end.

Let's not overlook the possibility of an actual time traveler with Sylus. Perhaps even one who has been looking for a timeline where he can keep MC safe. After all, coming late into the game, Sylus will need to have a new spin to his myth and connection with MC if he's going to compete!

Plus Caleb is also represented by the apple, the forbidden fruit: take even the smallest bite and be banished from paradise. But a bite of the apple also wakes one up to the truth, to the sense of shame, to desire, to sin, to love…

"I promise you’ll see me every day when you wake up," he said.

(And I’m a fool who wants to believe him 🍎)

#my lnds #love and deepspace #love and deepspace spoilers #lnds caleb #lnds sylus

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