#regret: helplessness

[anxietycontinuum]

mostly legend of the galactic heroes and metal gear (solid), occasionally star wars and a lot of other fandoms

i rarely like posts so take no offense if i don't like your posts. reblogs > likes. liking is like personal bookmarking to me. if i liked your post it usually means i saved it for later to reblog

blog runs on an untagged queue which i shuffle exactly once a day if it gets too big

[itty-bitty-sunshine]

I gotta wrap my head around

What my heart is telling me

I've been trying to drown it out

[drunkonimagination]

imagine thinking that blitzø just cared about the book and stolas was nothing than a device to access the earth to him, when at his regained ‘freedom’ the first thing this idiot does is tormenting stolas for days, sending him silly memes just to get a response, apologizing to every single person he hurt only because stolas told him he couldn’t and agonizing throughout stolas’ performance like he’s dying inside but also staying till the end unable to look away.

[blush-and-books]

just harvey not being able to handle when donna cries.

4x15, "Intent" // 6x16, "Character and Fitness"

[wordsthat-speak]

"Afsoos was the word in Urdu. There was no equivalent in English. It was a specific kind of regret—not wishing he had acted differently, but a helpless sadness at the situation as it was, a sense that it could not have been another way."

A Place for Us (Fatima Farheen Mirza)

[bxnnybb]

⟡ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ ⟡ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁⟡

ɪ'ᴍ sᴄᴀʀᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴀᴅᴍɪᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴡᴀsᴛᴇᴅ sᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ᴛɪᴍᴇ.

⟡ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ ⟡ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁⟡

[box-architecture]

There's a hall in XD's favorite summer home, one that has no ceiling that mortal eyes can see. Mirrors hang up like picture frames in every size, steadier than the wispy clouds behind them.

It's here that Punz walks, one hand on their sword, stepping from one plane of existence to the next as they leave a room of red stars. Their Ender eye is placed firmly in the socket of its eyepatch, peering through the magic and safely tethering them as they do their job. It will be enough. It has to be.

Punz knows better than to let themselves be drawn into the madness of XD's house. They ignore the mirrors at first, eyes straight ahead. There was nothing to be gained by staring at their own reflection. It would be pointless. But flash of light, bright green, tumbles into the corner of their eye, and it's impossible to stop themselves from turning to stare.

A memory that wasn't his reflecting back. Dream going horseback riding, a Punz with long hair close behind.

They glance at the one left of it.

Purpled swinging a stick, narrowly missing Punz's head. They're fighting over what looks like a creek, young and foolish, but when Purpled sticks his tongue out, the other Punz smiles wide before kicking him into the water.

There's so many.

Punz in an apron, serving Niki's pastries at a tea shop in a bustling city. Dream aiming a weapon at Punz, both barely teenagers, before drawing it back and offering a hand. A war-torn battlefield, Punz coughing up blood as they hit the ground. They spy a hint of a red cape before its swept out of frame, and the mirror darkens before rippling into emptiness. A thousand different worlds, a thousand different possibilities. They stretch their gaze up; the mirrors never seem to end. It's captivating in a way, to know everything you could ever be.

They turn to the next. Dream's hopeful gaze meets theirs.

They don't hear the words being spoken on the other side. Reading lips is tricky, and Dream never slows down his chatter. He's excited, as close as he can be to his Punz without brushing against them. It makes affection bloom in their heart, only for their body to tense when Punz cuts him off with a carefully neutral look. Dream straightens and puts on an air of professionalism. He didn't need to. He shouldn't have needed to. Punz wouldn't have asked for that.

He gives Punz a diamond block. They smile a bit, and pat their hand on his back as they head out. Dream's grin is blinding.

Their hand is pressed against the glass before they can stop themselves. The reflection ripples violently. The scenery slips through the world, the revival book, the plan they created, the finale they staged. Their own face, bored and unconcerned, kicking tnt of a pillar while the prison looms in the distance. It's not what they're looking for; they know what they want. They press against the mirror, harder, demanding for the truth, despite all their dread.

The snowy clearing is empty when Dream limps into sight. They feel unsteady as they watch him look cautiously around the clearing. There's undeserved concern on his face, so obvious it makes their stomach turn. Dream straightens despite his wounds, looking out in desperation, and when he speaks they can make out the only word.

Punz…?

They don't hear the glass shatter beneath their fist.

[primus-why]

.

[noa-nightingale]

I wasn't going to open this can of worms but I am just angry enough so here is the situation: I just saw a blog saying (multiple times) that "only a dead Zionist is a good Zionist" and that no Israeli should live a moment in peace anymore.

I think Israel's actions are horrendous and absolutely should be condemned.

But if you are agreeing with that blog's opinions, please don't interact with me. Block me, while you're at it.

[widevibratobitch]

i look too straight-ish fem. i need to look Weirder

[apollo-zero-one]

Man I can't believe I had the chance to go to a performing arts school up through middle school and I fuckin quit after 6 months just because I got bullied. BRO YOUR HOMEWORK WAS POETRY!! YOU HAD TO PRACTICE DANCING TO COTTON EYE JOE AS YOUR BIG UNIT TEST. GYM CLASS HAD A CIRCUS UNIT!! YOU HAD A WHOLE DAILY CLASS ON IMPROV!!! YOU FOOL!! YOU ABSOLUTE IMBICILE!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A YOUTUBER!!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE TWEENAGERS GETTING LOADED BY MAKING SHITTY YOUTUBE SHORTS IN 2008-14!! But noooOoooOOOoo little miss Noellie (who WANTED TO GO!! who worked SO HARD and sent in an application essay and did an INTERVIEW to get in!!) couldn't handle disruptive classmates or little scuffles and petty grudges and general Attitude of the other students and cried to mommy to put her back in public school. I am EATING MY HAIR over what Could Have Been. I COULD BE SOMEONE'S ANNOYING YOUTUBER!! I could be a DISGRACED DISNEY CHANNEL STAR!! I could be an America's Got Talent winner! A mild to moderately successful comedian! I could be making short films!! But no no no precious thin skinned baby me heard a few new cus words and watched a teacher get heckled and begged to give up The Dream in favor of?? Quiet math tests?? I am such a fucking quitter I quit everything the second it gets too hard I always take the out as soon as it's offered what's my fucking damage.....

[shitakimooshrooms]

continuing with my idea of Stiles and Derek having shared a class if the Hale Fire didn’t happen and Derek was 3 years older; In Stiles’ freshman year of high school he joined the theater club(Scott was interested and he was dragged along) and Derek also decided to do so for some reason and so the idea is that that years play is Hamilton(I know it wouldn’t be around, but humor me) and Stiles gets cast as Alexander because he can talk really fast (and has definitely won rapping competitions before) and Derek is cast as Aaron Burr (the second verse of Wait For It just exudes Derek energy) and so the idea of Scott somehow still not recognizing Derek after having done like the lights and watching every single rehearsal and show that year just makes it all the more funny. (I also am a firm believer that Stiles will randomly walk up to Derek like “Pardon me, are you Aaron Burr, sir?” And Derek just sighs and walks away.)

[cementcornfield]

i have soooo many emotions today's game 😭 because on the one hand there really aren't any stakes, we can't do anything with a win. and honestly it would probably be better for us to lose so we have a better position in the draft. but at the same time how could you root for a loss when it's likely tyler boyd's last game?? after everything he's done for the team surely we want him to have a huge game!! and how pathetic would it be to lose anyway against a team made up entirely of 2nd and 3rd string (5th string??? for their qb??) browns players!

and don't even get me started about how tee isn't playing. he's hurt of course, i don't blame him. but none of us knew watching last week that it could have potentially been his last game with us 😭 the chiefs loss being the last game with the big three!!! and we lost!!!

[jackdawsfavorite]

What doesn't kill you makes you sad strange defensive and difficult to connect with

[apathyfairy]

some days you really just want to scream why is this so hard!!!!!! why is life so hard for me!!!!!!!!!!!!

[pablosexc0bar]

me when i am in a bitchy snappy mood but then i remember mother mary and mother earth and i must begrudgingly accept responsibility for my own feelings and acknowledge that nobody else can fail me or make me feel anything because nobody has any duty to me and i have no duty unto anyone but myself and my happiness is mine alone to create. ugh