#and not to make excuses but im only now realizing how badly covid fucked me like not covid covid but covid time
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apathyfairy · 1 year ago
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some days you really just want to scream why is this so hard!!!!!! why is life so hard for me!!!!!!!!!!!!
#maybe it's bc i just started my period or maybe it's bc im on the verge of my next breakdown but im struggling!!!!!!!!!!#yesterday i realized it's been exactly 2 years since i moved into this living situation im still stuck in and it just hit me#as i was trying to fall asleep that like ok i just lost 2 more years of my life!! i accomplished absolutely nothing and#just ran in fucking circles going nowhere and literally have done Nothing#and not to make excuses but im only now realizing how badly covid fucked me like not covid covid but covid time#as in like jobs and having any sort of future like that was Exactly the time after i graduated that i needed to be doing shit and i couldnt#and yeah i know there are sooooo many people in similar situations bc of covid but god i just feel like such a failure which i am#but i just feel so helpless like i honestly do not know how to move forward#or what i even want out of life anymore if anything at all and yes ok so period plus 2 year anniversary plus my birthday next week so im#extremely on the edge rn#and anyway last night i was crying bc of the 2 year thing then u know how when u sometimes start crying about one thing#u start crying about just everything wrong in your life so yeah i did that and then suddenly it was about still living here#and still living in this state and still living with mentally abusive relatives and how much of a failure i am at my age and how my birthda#will make me feel like shit and how much i miss my dogs and how much i worry about my cat and how i cant ever lose her ever no matter what#like i simply will not go through another pet death i just wont. and then all roads lead to my biggest mistake and regret so my ex then#all that and how i literally cant change any of those things at all and how much i feel like a prisoner and i cant escape and anyway.#im just not doing well lately lmao
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dilfwaynes · 4 years ago
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hi!! can i request a hc of the batfam reaction of their eastasian!reader gf  experiencing racism? thank you <33
just a reminder if you took place in any involvement of asian hate block me rn bitch :)
a/n: i hope you enjoyed this anon, i tried to make it accurate without stepping over any boundaries since im not asian myself. if anyone finds any sort of this offensive pls dm me !!
warning ; racism, batfam beating hoes, mention of blood
parings : bruce wayne x asian!reader, jason tood x asian!reader, dick grayson x asian!reader, stephanie brown x asian!reader, tim drake x asian!reader, damian wayne x asian!reader
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BRUCE WAYNE:
it’ll honestly take a minute for bruce to realize what happened
when first entering the store he took notice of the man glaring but brushed it off thinking it was directed towards him as bruce wayne
you however didnt really pay attention to the dirty looks being thrown at you
with bruce excusing himself to the restroom and makes a promise of a quick return, you wander around the area by yourself
it was all fine until a man approaches you, giving a fast glance at him before turning away. there was definitely something up with him
“you don’t belong here”
your head shot up at his words, looking around you to make sure he was talking to you
“excuse me?” you lift an eyebrow at him, knowing what he was hinting at
“you fucking heard me, you don’t belong here. go back to your country.”
you inch away as he steps closer,”you better back the fuck away..”
he simply gives a smug face only coming closer,”or what?” you tighten your jaw when he loosely lets out a slur, your fists clenched.
“or i dislocate your arm.”bruce’s voice rings out, deep in anger as his eyes flicker to you and scanning to see if you were ok physically.
the ugly bitch’s face pales when he realizes who’s your boyfriend. without hesitation bruce yanks him away from you, slamming him to the wall
demanding for a first and last name,  squeezing his neck when the guy stays quiet
shaking he gives in and tells, flinching when bruce slams him against the wall one last time before dropping him
“i guaranteed whatever poor status you do contain i’ll tear it completely, say goodbye to your job.” he grabs for your hand and brings you into him as you both walk away.
“i’m sorry i shouldn’t have left you alone, my fault,”he presses a kiss to your temple.”and please don’t think any worth of that garbage’s words.”
you shake your head,”he was just some lowlife, not worth thinking about.” you reply leaning into him.
he looked at you and could tell no matter what those words still hurt somewhat and it angered him to no end
no one deserved to hear that disgusting shit, especially not his girlfriend.
his eyes hardens but doesn’t push further to make you anymore uncomfortable than you probably already are
giving another kiss to the side of your head he makes a quiet promise to himself not to leave you alone anymore in public with disgusting people like that around
jason todd:
as soon as the slur leaves the guy’s lips jason’s fist collides to his jaw, no doubt   shattering it
you and jason were grabbing lunch at some restaurant slash bar since it was the first time in a few days jason was free
everything was okay until you got up to go to the bathroom and some guy bumped into you
jason watched with hardening eyes as you apologize instead of the guy who slammed into you
“watch where the fuck you’re going at.”
you fall shock at the word, staying in place
while jason is on his feet in no time, swinging to the asshole’s face
screams were heard as well as the sound of bones breaking from his fist impact, the guy stumbling to the floor
“you racist fucking prick that’s my girlfriend you ugly fuck,”lifting him by his shirt he grabs his face and turns him to you.”apologize to her before i break your fucking face.”
he quickly rambles apologizes, crying in fear or pain. most likely a mix of both
jaaon lets him go and gives him another punch, this time to the nose. finding satisfaction at the pool of blood now seeping out
jason grabs your hand and starts to lead you outside,”let’s go eat somewhere else and forget about this shithole.”
you barely had time to give a reaction to anything as everything happened so fast
“hey look at me, don’t listen to that worthless fuck and his fucked up mindset. i dont know what to say to comfort you since i never experienced anything like this.” he stops at the car, placing his hands onto your shoulders
you nod sighing lightly, you only wanted a simple lunch with your boyfriend but instead got hate crime for simply  breathing.
“it’s nothing i haven’t gone through before,”he shakes his head blue eyes filling up with rage.
“no one’s gonna be doing that anymore, or at least getting away with it while i’m around
DICK GRAYSON:
he was completely taken by surmise at the slur being thrown at you, as well as the fault of you being the root of the covid 19
but before he had any time to react you were already on your feet glaring,”the fuck you just called me you piece shit.”
before he could reply you already kneed him and punched him between the eyes, dick laughing at the cries of pain
“you want me to take over or you wanna handle it babe?”
even how badly he wanted to beat the shit out of the pos the choice was yours
you denied and wanted to handle this on your own
but everytime the guy tried to get up dick would just shake his head and tell him to stay down, or simply push him back down
eventually if you start going too far richards would pull you away and tell you hes not worth it
he understands your anger but he doesn’t want you to past a line you won’t recover from bc of some worthless grime
“c’mon, he’s not worth anymore of our time. lets go eat pizza.”
DAMIAN WAYNE:
swing first talk later
he’ll just look at guy for a few seconds with a blank face
then he’s literally knocking them out
will probably kick him into the wall or ground
u dont know if you wanna pull him away because you already the tabloids, or if you wanna let him continue to beating the guy
damian probably wouldn’t realize how much he beat the guy to a pulp until you’re tugging him away
nudging his neck with to your nose to try and calm him down
he’ll end the fight with spitting on him tbh
your face reddens with anger when your eyes met the racist bitch, enjoying the view of his blood on the floor
“racist piece of shit,” he hisses before finally turning his back brow still frowning with anger
unlike the others (mentioned) he also knows and experienced racism and understands your point view way more
and know bow to comfort you better tbh
afterwards he’ll talk to you and comfort you, as well as opening up about his racist encounters, as well as his mothers.
if you’re still upset about what happened some hours later he 100% offers to beat up the guy again
you laugh it off cos hes serious about doing detective work, finding the guy and beating him to a pulp
you thank him but deny his offer and settle to confiding into him and just telling him how your feelings
STEPHANIE BROWN:
“are you fucking serious right now bitch?”
steph deadpans staring at the girl who called you the slur with ease, going on about how you were the cause of corona and to go back to your country
shocked at the words, hearing all of this before but it still doesn’t fail everytime you hear them
turning to you and seeing the hurt on your face from the word, she quickly turns to seeing red
without a second thought she grabs the collar of the woman’s shirt
“you’re gonna fucking apologize to my girlfriend right now or i’m gonna slam your face into the floor and break it
you stay still, pleased at watching the girl shake in fear under steph as she chokes out a mesh of a shit rushed apologizes
stephanie throws her down to the ground after her third apologize
“are you okay?” she knew you weren’t but asking the question would lead into the stage of comforting you
you nod but go on to tell her that this isn’t the first or last time this will happen, but it still never fails to shock you
she frowns at your experiences and doesn’t quite know what to do to help since she never went thru anything like that
she offers to take you to your favorite restaurant and end the day in wayne manor watching whatever you wanted
smiling when you accept, pulling you in her and pressing a kiss on-top of your head
“dont worry i’ll beat any jackass that pulls any racist shit.”
TIM DRAKE:
i think he’ll be the less  violent one out of everyone
he would honestly be so disgusted and gross out at humanity and how the woman thinks shes superior just because she’s white
if it was a guy saying what was said, then he would probably hit them ngl
but he takes the higher road with the woman, belittling and ending her with his vocabulary
and you’re pretty sure that his words hurt her more than an actual punch would 
you laugh when he compares her built to a buffalo
he then goes on to a more education lean, explaining how skin tone has nothing to do with a person, and she should adapt to modern times and stop being a racist cunt
after he ends it he goes on to find out who she is and email/call her workplace to inform what kind of employee they have
probably also goes on to make sure she wont be hired anywhere else
comforts you alot and and will get you anything you want
prob gets you both milkshakes as you vent to him about today and other racist things said to you
hates how you have to go thru any of this for simply existing
the  incident opens his eyes and he starts talking to bruce about opening a charity for ‘stop asian hate’
would shy away from the press and say you both came up with the fund
u’ll dismiss that rq and tell everyone it was all tim’s idea
all the money goes people got assaulted and paying for any hospital bills or anything needed
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