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ahotmesswithprivilege · 1 month

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Happy ever After - Chapter 1

paring: Jake Seresin x female!librarian!reader

wordcount: 1867

synopsis: One could easily forget that behind all of Hangman's bravado and the cocky smirk there is an actual human with a beating heart. But Javy has been the one Jake ranted to. How he wished for women to see him, not the pretty face or the GQ body and the uniform. At Javy's suggestion that maybe Jake is looking for love in the wrong places he just throws his hands in the air and rolls his eyes. That's when Coyote decides that it's about time for things to change. Sitting down with the rest of the dagger squad they create a profile on a dating website. One where the goal is finding a committed relationship. The general response to Jake's profile is overwhelmingly positive so now all they need to do is hand the account over and let Hangman do the rest...

note: This is 100% self-indulgent writing. I was looking for something very particular and since I couldn't find anything to scratch that itch I had to write it myself. It's kinda wild to me that I got so much done (I am currently at 10.000 words for this and counting and I haven't written this much in the past year combined tbh). Since I was looking for it I thought maybe others could enjoy this too, so I decided to share and make it an x reader. Therefore I tried to keep physical descriptors to a minimum. If I missed something then I would greatly appreciate a nice pointer to rectify my mistake. But ultimately the reader is going to be very heavily inspired by my lived experience as a plus-size, late-diagnosed AuDHDer, so please take that into consideration. Depending on your feedback I will continue with the story as x reader or if the consensus is that it's too much detail/specific traits for an x reader, then I'll turn it into an OC story. Feedback would be greatly appreciated in general. If you are interest in part two where we meet thechaoticlibrarian for the first time, let me know ;)

!Important side note!

If you know one AuDHDer, you know exactly one presentation of AuDHD (the same goes for Autism and ADHD separately and pretty much every form of neurodiversity). Just because the description is not matching the presentation in you/someone you know, doesn't mean mine is any less valid. Also due to language differences, I am used to different terminology, so please be patient and kind if I mix stuff up.

Trigger Warning (for the entire series. Things can be added over time. If I forgot something or you want me to add to the list, my inbox is wide open. You are responsible for your media consumption, proceed with caution, you know the drill): kind of arranged date situation, talk of mental illness and disability, disabled!reader, service dog, accessibility issues, body shaming (self and others), self-deprecation, cursing, non-canon (not even sure if this is canon compliant so, take that as you will), nsfw/smut (later chapters. We'll get there), written by a non-native speaker, not beta read, reader is addressed by her nickname Belle (she's got the books, she's got the beast and she's got the kind heart)

!!!Minors do not interact!!!

Chapter 1 || Previous Chapter || Masterlist || Next Chapter

It's late when the dagger squad is gathering around the kitchen table in the common area. Well, not the entire dagger squad. One of them already called in for the night, but that's playing into Coyote's cards. After setting up Hangman's dating profile the initial response was great, so now they have to decide how to proceed.

"We should just give him the account as is. He's a grown-ass man, he can handle it from here", Phoenix states, slightly annoyed at the fact that she got even roped into this whole mess in the first place. She cares about Hangman, yes. They are comrades, even if he left her out to dry more than once, but she doesn't want him to be unhappy. That doesn't mean she thinks it's fair what they are doing right now either. Not to Jake and not to the women writing 'him'. "A grown-ass man who didn't have a serious relationship since before we were in the academy. He'll see all those messages and his brain will short circuit", Coyote retorts. "But what if we sort someone out and she would be the one for him? Isn't that completely counterproductive to this whole endeavour?", Bob asks when the door flies open and a very furious Hangman barges in.

"What the fuck did you clowns do?", he growls, his gaze wandering around the rest of his squad who are all suspiciously avoiding his gaze, and then his eyes dart over to Coyote's hand that attempts to stealthily close the laptop that they had in the middle of the table. Throw some maps and dossiers on there and this would look like a fucking official briefing and he already has an idea what topic they discussed. "What are you talking about?", Payback asks, trying to look as innocent as humanly possible "Three of my exes flooded my mailbox asking me why I lied to them. That they'd been totally down for something stable and serious if I had just asked. So what did you buffoons do?" "Buffoons. Someone had a dictionary for dinner...", Phoenix murmured quietly, but not quiet enough for Hangman not to hear. His gaze burns into her before he lets it wander again, green hues searching for the weak link in the group and finding it. "We set up a dating profile for you", Bob barely gets out, shrinking under Jake's intense gaze. "But in our defence, it was Coyote's idea. We were only the support", Fanboy adds and then the focus of his murderous stare moves to the man he considered his best friend. A choice he might be forced to reevaluate. "Did the lack of oxygen damage your brain or what the bloody fucking hell were you thinking?" "Hey, you were the one who was whining about wanting love but never finding it. How you dream of something stable. Someone to come home to. Someone who'd view you as a partner not a fucktoy" "I never fucking said..." "Yes, you did! More than once. And since you are strictly against blind dates..." "Because you tried to set me up with a woman who didn't say a word", he points over at Fanboy, "Or a woman who only talked about quarterly figures, the stock market and her next promotion", he pointed at Phoenix. "Said the man who can only talk about bargames, football statistics and fight jets", she retorts rolling her eyes.

"And that's why I thought this would be your best option. A website full of people looking for commitment. You can apply numerous filters to narrow down the options and you get a first impression of them before you invest time and energy into a date", Coyote jumps in, knowing that Phoenix and Hangman might get at each other's throats if they were allowed to continue their fight. With a simple move, he spins the laptop around for his best friend to see. "You already got a bunch of messages", he tries to sound encouraging, seeing the fight on his buddy's face. Is Jake fucking Hangman Seresin really desperate enough for a dating website his friends signed him up for?

"Take your time. Here is the password", Coyote leans over the table and scribbles it down on a piece of paper, pushing it over to his friend with the laptop. "Same as for the e-mail I made for the account. You can change the passwords later" "Sure as fuck I will. As if I need you hull heads snooping around in my shit more than you already do", he grumbles, but the heat behind his words is gone. As messy as this might be, deep down he is touched. His friends saw him in pain, so they banded together and made an effort to help him, however misguided that attempt might have been. "Good. We leave you to it", Rooster says, a sign for the rest to usher out of the common room to leave their friend a little space.

When Coyote thinks he's off the hook, he feels Hangman blocking his way with his arm, stopping him in his tracks while his eyes are still glued to the profile. "Looks like you at least picked some nice photos, Javy", he says and Coyote knows that this is probably the closest thing to a 'thank you man' he'll get from his best friend. "That was easy. You are pretty photogenic, Hangman", he says, chuckling as he makes his way over to the door, "Answering the questions was the hard part. I needed Bob's help to make sure you don't sound like a complete douchebag", he added seeing how Jake leaned over to the kitchen counter, grabbing a wet rag and throwing it his way. Javy's laugh echoed through the room before the soft click of the lock indicated that he had closed the door behind him.

A low chuckle rumbled in Jake's chest before his gaze returned to the screen. He first checked out the profile his friends had set up and as much as he hated the whole situation, his friends had done an excellent job. They managed to highlight his strengths while at the very same time not shying away from openly communicating his weaknesses. Their choice of words was sometimes a little less diplomatic than he would have liked them to be, but at least that didn't leave anything up for misunderstandings. Then his eyes drifted into the right corner of the screen. Before his friends had left there were 20 unread messages, now there were 25 and yes he knew he was hot, but the fact that he seemed to be in such high demand was something that both petted his ego and frightened him.

The mouse hovered over the inbox symbol for a while as his heart pounded in his chest. He rolled his shoulders and stretched his neck to get rid of some of the nervous energy before he focused back on the screen. He was a naval aviator, for fuck's sake. The only one in active duty with a confirmed air-to-air kill. He tackled the monsters of the world head-on, so he should be able to read some flirty messages from a bunch of single women looking for the same things he wanted, right?

When the inbox of the website mailing system loaded on the screen there were 28 unread messages. Hovering over the icons gave you the short version of their profile and their picture in a larger size. Hangman had quite an illustrious inbox. The first three messages were from a detective, a surgeon and an architect. His head was already spinning, but he was the kind of guy to do things right or not at all, so he worked his way through the messages, checking out the corresponding profiles, writing a courteous but short reply to the nos and making a priority list in his mind for the yes and maybes. The longer he went through the messages the more the feeling that all of these messages were pretty generic crept up on him. Some were lengthy and waxing poetics, others shorter and some just asked directly for his phone number, but still. There was barely anything real personal about them in there and none of the messages gave him an indication of why they chose his profile to contact. It made him wonder if this was something they sent almost like spam, only changing the name at the top, or if it was a defence mechanism to figure out whether he was interested at all before they'd reveal more of themselves.

He managed to work his way through to message number ten before he was completely overwhelmed, closing the messenger and staring at the ceiling for a while, wondering how people were seriously doing this. When he looked back down the front page of the dating website had loaded. It was sorted by categories, showing a bunch of profiles for each. He allowed his gaze to wander until one icon in particular caught his eye. It was listed in New Signups from Your Neighbourhood. The photo showed a scenery rather than the usual portrait most people used. Only when you hovered over the picture you could see a woman sitting on the beach, the shadowy figure of a dog right next to her as they both gazed at the sunset. This picture conveyed more emotion and personality to him than any profile, let alone picture he had seen today. Her profile was loading on his screen before he even realised he had clicked on it.

She went by 'thechaoticlibrarian' and he couldn't help the smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Whenever he thought of a chaotic librarian he thought of Evelyn Carnahan, his first crush ever. He scrolled down her profile and with every tiny detail he learned about her he was more intrigued. The three words she picked to describe her positive attributes were patient, caring and curious. A great foundation for a relationship and the negative ones made him chuckle. Nitpicker, low bullshit tolerance and chaotic. And then he came to the part that had honestly scared him off from most women in his inbox.

Where do you see yourself in five years?

They had all made these elaborate plans for a grand wedding, a house and a minimum of three kids. Not that he was generally opposed to the idea, but there was so much certainty and conviction in the way those women wrote about all of it that made it sound to him like their future partners would be more relegated to the role of extra than an actual protagonist in their story. What Jake wanted was an equal. Someone he could build a future with rather than be pushed into the cookie-cutter form of an already decided-upon script. Her five-year plans on the other hand felt so much more relatable, like something he could actually get behind.

Content with my life, doing the job I love and having a partner by my side I can share all of it with. The good, the bad and the ugly.

So he took the leap and clicked on the contact button on her profile...

|| Next Chapter ||

#jake seresin x reader #jake seresin imagine #jake seresin x you #jake seresin fanfiction #jake seresin fic #top gun fanfiction #hangman fanfiction #hangman fic #hangman x reader #my writing

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sokacoke · 25 days

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Compiling some questions and information regarding indigo park from unique geese's live streams.

Some clips might not be long enough for the full answer due to YouTube only being 60 seconds so just keep that in mind.

A bit of the older ones could contain stuff that aren't up to date that I forgot to remove because I was making this in my notes for like 3-5 weeks so lets uh. ignore those!! (ill delete them later maybe)

IF I SCREAM THE STREAM ENDS

'I think comparing Issac to fucking Willam afton is such a sad comparison'

Credits to @lunozapp for the clip

INDIGO Q&A

“Will there be any boss fights?”

‘That’s a hard thing to say. I’m gonna say no.’

“How old are Rambley and his friends?”

'They’re all over 18. Probably around there early 20s at oldest. They’re younger but I don’t really have set ages for them.'

“Would Indigo park be rated M?”

'I would argue indigo park chapter 1 could get away as teen but I’d like to rate it up as a M by chapter 2.'

“Is chapter 2 going to take place under the park?”

'No. There might be parts under but chapter 2 won’t.'

“Rambley has been left alone since the park closed. Has he practically sat alone for that long?”

'In all technicality, he was sitting there alone and abandoned for many years. He’s not fully aware of what’s going on, but he is you know?”

“Do you have any plans for future chapters?”

'The entire greater story has been set in stone for months and we don’t have any plans to change it.'

'There’s stuff in chapter 1 that people won’t realize are important to the plot until chapter 5.'

“Is mollie macaw an antagonist?”

'Depends what you’re saying when you say mollie macaw. Antagonist is a strong word.'

LAUNCH STREAM

“Is the raccoon evil?”

'No. You guys just buckle up. you’ll see.'

REACTING TO YOUTUBERS

“Did you expect for Rambley to be popular with the furries?”

‘I made a joke that it would be popular within it but nothing in the game was designed to be furry. It was just like “hey we need parody’s of Mickey Mouse and Disney characters” ending up creating characters I really liked.'

“Do you know that there’s already NFSW art of Rambley?”

'It’s the internet sorry. If you make NFSW stuff I just ask you don’t send it to me or inject it to the rest of the community. Keep it separate, these are like my children.'

“How many versions of the railroad did u go through?”

'It took quite a while. We would get to a point where we kind of liked it and then be like “oh I don’t really like this it doesn’t flow really well.” I think the great thing going into chapter 2 we have a better understanding of what we want the game to look. Chapter 2s going to be mainly a lot of the rides. It was kind a deal where I wanted you to feel claustrophobic but it was hard to deal with those open environments. I’m not gonna announce anything crazy but chapter 2 will start in the queue and lobby for oceanic oddesy'

“How many chapters will there be?”

'The game plan is five.'

“Is this the last time we will see Mollie? Her death screen mentions she can copy voices but that wasn’t shown. Will be shown again to do that mechanic?”

'The voices were less of a mechanic and more of showing going on when she’s talking throughout the game. All the dialogue is something she’s heard during game,behind the scenes of the park or something that a guest has said.'

“Is Rambley the bad guy?”

'What part of the game made you think Rambleys the bad guy? No.'

“I trust Rambley with my life. If he betrays us I’ve already forgiven him.”

'Yeah, you don’t need to worry about that.'

“Whys the main character so jacked?”

'It’s just the character model I had I was using. We might change it.'

Critter cuff

'I was big against the idea of having one mechanic. They saw poppy playtime and instantly thought “every mascot horror needs a mechanic.” The critter cuffs important but I also want different fun mechanics that can be worked into it.'

“Do you plan to add more characters?”

'There will be more characters added into chapter 2. There may some returning characters. Obviously Rambley will be the focus of every chapter he’s ur buddy through ur journey. We do have a new set of characters.'

“Will there be another credits song in chapter 2?”

'We don’t want to start planning stuff until we know for sure how much money is there budget wise.'

“Where’s the cat?”

'There originally was just a regular ass cat that was in the and was in the game for quite a while. The model we had didn’t look like it fit the world and the animation looked stiff. Maybe we bring it back.'

“What were the stealth things in the files for?”

'Originally there was a section where Lloyd would follow you and you’d hide. I definitely want to do some stealth stuff where you have to hide under stuff I think that’d be a lot of fun.'

“Will Mollie return?”

'Do you think Mollie will return?'

“Is Rambley sentient?”

'He’s fully aware of everything around him but he’s programmed to behave a certain way. The best comparison would be GLaDOS or Wheatley from portal. Programmed to act a certain way, but also aware and able to see stuff around them and react.'

“How long will chapter 2 be?”

'We’re aiming chapter 2 to be just a little bit longer then chapter 1. We want each chapter to be a bit longer than before. I’d say for chapter 2, two and a half

'The only character that won’t have much influence is clearly Mollie.'

“What about Lloyd?”

'Lloyd’s cool and Lloyd will be important. That is all I can say.'

“Will there be other AI companions?”

'No. It’s just Rambley the main mascot.'

“Is there a possibility of a major overhaul of chapter 1?”

'There’s room to improve it a bit. In the future, I can see us doing a full on remaster of chapter 1.'

“Never make Rambley a creep I will not forgive you for it”

'You got it.'

“What’s the estimated gap between the chapters?”

'Year to Year and a half, maybe two. Chapter 2 is definitely 2025.'

“Don’t be fooled?”

'There was a lot more potential do something with that. If we had more budget then it would be really cool where you’re running through the pipes and you have to listen for Rambleys voice through the pipes and sometimes it would be mollies voice. It would be Rambley guiding you and then you hear Mollie trying to sound like Rambley.'

“It hurts Lloyd”

'That’s the funny thing. I don’t wanna get TOO deep into it but this was kinda just random text. I’ve seen 5 or 6 different interpretations of what people think it says.'

'Without spoiling anything I do think multiple ending’s for the final chapter would be kinda cool.'

REACTING TO MATPAT

“A lot of sexual tension between these guys”

'Shout out to the furries because I’ve seen every combination of characters being shipped and it wasn’t until today that a single female character was involved that all. Not mollie not Nonbinary with Salem it was literally just the 3 men'

“Does Rambley canonically sing Rambley review?”

'Yes he actually does. It’s in between chapter whenever ur going into chapter 2. The player could turn around and find a way out now but he actively wants to keep going with Rambley.'

TALKING ABOUT INDIGO PARK,FNF AND MORE

“The voice and creator of indigo park”

'I don’t voice anyone expect for Jackson and another character that no ones found yet.'

“Are you ever going to get a console support?”

'So we will eventually but to be honest with you I don’t want to do that until we have like chapter 3 out. At earliest if chapter 2 becomes massive then maybe as a bundle, but I don’t know.'

“Is chapter 2 free?”

'No it won’t be.'

FUNKAST THEN FNAF

'Other then a few minor tweaks we have the first few minutes of Rambleys dialogue at the beginning of chapter 2 written out.'

'I don’t think we’ll ever do a fox character. We were brainstorming some of the characters in chapter 2 and thought “oh maybe a fox would be cool” but we were looking at the role that this character would have to play if they were a fox and thought “at some point we’re just making knock off foxy from fnaf”'

“What the species”

'I cant disclose that sorry chief. There are other animal based cartoon characters in chapter 2 if that satisfies you. Furries rejoice I guess? I feel like it’d be harder to do a human villain.'

“How hard is it to make an idea of a character?”

'All of the characters we make need a purpose. It’s layers of talking through stuff and ideas to get stuff we like. The designs for them aren’t done but the idea for them is there and i am in love with them.'

“So the character design isn’t finished but have you made actual development of the game?”

'No. We’re working on chapter 1 right now. Again we’re looking at a year and a half or two years until chapter 2 cuz I’m not gonna rush it or my team. We’ll have little animations stuff and between yeah we’re not gonna do anything with that.

“Update is bug fixes, trying to get controller support working,revamping some of the environments and I’m bringing on a new modeler for some of the monster designs. Not confirming but i think Finley is going to get a full on redesign for chapter 2.”

“What chapter are you most excited for?”

'To be honest with you, i think chapter 3 is where we’re going to start doing the crazy shit possible and then chapter 4 is planned to be the most bad ass chapter i could ever think of. The story gets moving chapter 4.'

NEW FNAF GAME + INDIGO PARK NEWS

'It turned out that jakeneutron who’s my head animator, was going to Disney at the same time I’m at Orlando. We met up and we took so many pictures for reference. We went to universal studios and it was my first time we ever went to universal so I took so many pictures'

“Refs for what?”

'For indigo park bro. Dude I needed anything theme park and I got so many ideas for the future of indigo and stuff.'

“Salem news or I’m not here”

'Do I wanna put out Salem news..Salem is important 👍'

'I’ve kind of teased it a bit but we are working on some minor chapter 1 before chapter 2 just so there’s a bit of a quality jump so it’s a little bit more in the realm of where we want it to be.'

'We are working on some environmental updates. Working on some new assets to put into chapter 1. Which should make stuff feel cooler in my opinion? '

'To accompany that one thing we didn’t have a lot of is that environmental music in regards to what they would have in a real theme park. Like if ur waiting in a queue in a theme park there’s a lot of music and stuff that they play that is custom to that. Let’s say you were waiting for Rambleys railroads, what would that sound like? So maybe a little bit of new music?'

New potential song in clip link

FINISHING INTO THE PIT & NEW INDIGO PARK PLUSH LAUNCH PARTY

“Character hints?”

'I think you will be soft introduced or at least see the character designs before chapter 2s out. Right now at this point of development there are four new characters planned.'

“Is there gonna have a obby theme?”

‘Probably not really. I’ve talked about a little about a mechanic that we started to workshop and figuring out how it’ll work in the lore and gameplay elements but I probably won’t talk about it again.'

“Will there be a haunted house ride or a dark ride?”

'I want to do a haunted mansion parody hopefully chapter 4 or 5. Not in chapter 2 it wouldn’t fit.'

“Space mountain?”

'I have ideas for a space mountain and I can’t tell you what chapter that one will be in.'

'It’s funny cuz I’m reworking all of the chapter 1 environments and I’ve been thinking about it. There’s a fair enough of stuff that theorists haven’t caught onto yet that I hope will be super obvious in the future. I’m super excited to see what people do with chapter 2.'

HORROR GAME NIGHT & TALKING INDIGO PARK

“Will you be selling art prints maybe with posters?”

'We might do posters. There’s some new poster art coming for chapter 2 and I’m gonna leak, the (chap 1) update.'

“Now will they all have villain roles?”

'I dunno. I’ve already told you guys about some of them actually you guys just haven’t figured it out yet'

Talking about the 4 new characters

'I will say the chapter 1 update will have new secrets for you to find and some of it will help you figure out stuff in chapter 2. We are cooking is all I can say.'

“Whats ur favorite out of the 4 originals we know about since u said 4 new characters”

'Yeah let me just reveal one of the characters. No. You guys won’t- actually? You guys will know about some of the characters WAY before chapter 2 comes out.'

BACK FROM PAX! - WATCHING JACKSEPTICEYE PLAY INDIGO PARK & CATCHING UP ON FNF MODS

'there’s a little bit of the new queue! A little bit of a step up. I mean hot take but. Looks a lot better I think.'

Queue in clip

'We’re still working on it but this is what Mollies landing pad looks like now. This feels more themed.'

New mollies landing pad in clip

“Can you make an update trailer for the indigo park update so people know it exists?”

'Yea we will. We’ll change it.'

Extra notes worth mentioning:

it’s been said that there will be a meme ending for chapter 3 though I’m not able to find the clip at the moment so if anyone somehow has it u should tots send it my way

When he's talking about the 'Other character he voices that no ones found yet' it might be possible he’s yapping about the reverse Llyods Limos line Context:

youtube

Video is from forgottenstudios1987 on YT

The cat been brought back!

Another part of the new rambleys railroad queue song.

More of the New Rambleys Railroad Third link is just a very subtle railroads gift shop but it counts i think

Other landing pad clip

FEEL FREE TO ADD ANY OTHER CLIPS I MIGHTVE MISSED!

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machlover54666 · 21 days

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@callmeend ive checked every room as best i could (even the other two maps, forgot the lobby, only found notes in the toon rooms anyway) so heres best i could do djshsjsj

ill add in the alts of what they say + where i found them

again im not matpat sooo 😭 yapfesttt

It's a letter from Razzle and Dazzle to Vee asking to be a part of the next gameshow she hosts

I'm not sure if it's only Razzle who wants to and Dazzle just goes along because they're literally one being or if its just the tradegy/comedy mask thing :P

Maybe some sort of journal entry or something? From Boxten and it's not really assigned to be to anyone.

Astro has control over dreams (thanks, wiki!), so that probably means nightmares as well. At first I thought "oh if Astro causes dreams maybe twisted Astro causes nightmares" but then the twisted astro description didn't mention anything about that, neither did trivia - plus why would Boxten want to see Astro if he became a twisted,,

okay next note i give up

Shrimpo literally hates everything

its his entire character, he's a bully as his character sheet thingy states

whats there to say about this note?

Just a drawing of Scraps

Both siblings state its hard to do something with claws, but is found on Scraps side of the room (judging by the yarn balls on the bed)

rather its a self portrait or a drawing by goob that scraps keeps

Glisten wooooo

Ok so obviously he might be pressured to be perfect ("I am perfect, I have to be")

I'm guessing it's rather just him being himself or maybe the episodes he's featured in has him as this perfect model or something

im saying episodes bc there is a 'Dandy's world' show, and frames shown in maps - I'm not sure if it's animation or more like the toons are acting though

This 'somebody' could be anyone, but I'm guessing it's rather Boxten, since Boxten's note mentioned Glisten, or Rodger since he's mentioned later

I'm guessing his ability is the reflection trick, guessing by he says he's dizzy when he does it, and that when you activate Glisten's ability, he gets the confused debuff.

"I should spend time with him more" oh of course you do if you're crying to Rodger (from Toodle's dialouge)

Again, probably just a journal entry

i dont know what else to make of this, but i do wanna know what the crossed out bit actually is. I can make out the first two words, the last word is 'that' and zero clue on the rest.

Glisten's POV on Boxten's note, since it mentions beauty sleep.

Maybe we're only getting these toons' rooms because the rest are on Different floors? It might've been up to the shows creators or Toon Handlers since it mentions "they"

Glisten isn't a fan of neither Finn or Shrimpo

The last note I could find, from Brightney - it mentions books and is a to-do list (Brightney's dialouge includes a 'to-do list' and she's president of a book club)

Not sure what to make of this either.

end of yapfest woooo

#dandys world #I DONT SUPPORT THE CO CREATOR #erm i aint tagging anything else

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coinlockerrbaby · 3 months

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Hell yea!!! (qualities so bad if u tap on it u should actually b able to read the text </3)

Stupid ghost au Chuuya :3 he's 16 and like if 15 Chuuya never had to get normal 4 the PM!!!

His hair is bleached but he never keeps up with it so you can see his roots 99% of the time (me) also he's transmasc but like that's a given LMAO

He has heterochromia and a bunch of freckles/ moles, and also a few piercings but all of them were done with a sewing needle and too much faith in Shirase's abilities ☠️

In this he lives with Verlaine and Kouyou (except she's usually abroad) and Verlaine has *legal* custody over him (they're half brothers ((so Verlaine is half Japanese (((I forgot if i mentioned that already))).

He can also usually be found at Adam and Eve's house :3 Adam is a social worker and Chuuya's case worker and is also really suspicious of Verlaine (Verlaines chill dw Adam just doesn't rlly like him </3.) and Eve is a lawyer!! Ill draw them after I draw smth I don't hate 4 Rimlaine probably 😈

He's always arguing with Verlaine but is chill with Rimbaud (who usually has to be the peace maker when they fight) and even though he makes fun of them for their ghost channels he will defend them with his life from ppl at school. He leaves so many hate comments tho (Verlaine originally argued back on the official account and that's how he lost access to it ((so now he just uses his personal account))

I forget if there's anything else Ill add it later if I remember 😼 Also he's friends w the flags I have a lot on them so they each may need their own separate post 😭

#ALSO I WILL BE DOIN POSTS LIKE THIS FOR VERLAINE AND RIMBAUD IM JUST SO PICKY WITH THEM LMFAO I HAVE THREE DRAFTS OF THEM SO FAR #bsd #bungo stray dogs #chuuya nakahara #bsd chuuya #chuuya bsd #bsd stormbringer #kinda #I mean he is 16 #my art #bungou stray dogs #meow #loser au

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littledigitalcircus · 9 months

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Hi! Mod Nash here, this is my first time posting on tumblr, so please be patient with me if I don't understand all of the mechanics but I thought I thought I should make an intro of myself and the cast of the circus as agere users.

First off, I go by he/They pronouns, and I'm a flip, so I both regress and am a caregiver.

Pomni is a regressor, her regressed age is around 2-5 years old. She goes by the names of pomni, pom pom, little one, little jester, ect She usually regresses when under a lot of stress, and is usually a very sleepy little. Pomni's actions and words will be blue and anything referring to her will be red

Jax is a regressor and babysitter, his regressed age is around 4-6. his nicknames are bun bun, jackrabbit, little bunny, and baby. He has no set names for his little atm. As a babysitter he's very protective, and love to make littles laugh, especially by playing pranks on other circus members. as a regressor, he's always either sleepy, or energetic and there's no in-between. He loves playing pranks. and he's very bratty when he doesn't get what he wants. but when he's sleepy he's very sweet and will cuddle with whoever is caring for him at the time. Jax's Actions and words will be red and anything referring to him will be purple

Caine isn't entirely sure about age regression, but he tries his best to care for the littles of the circus when they need it, making sure they don't get hurt. He'll give them toys and spoil them to keep them happy. And he has a hard time saying no when given the puppy eyes. his nickname for his regressors is superstar. Caine's words/actions will be red, and anything referring to him will be white/black

Ragatha, whether she wants to admit it or not, is a flip, cg lean. As a caregiver, she loves to play dress-up with her littles, she doesn't like to say no but will if what the little wants to do is unsafe, She can be strict when she needs to be. As a little, she regresses around the ages of 3-5. She's not very bratty but does require a lot of attention, mainly in the form of comfort. Her nicknames for her regressors are dolly, baby doll, and sweetheart. Ragatha's actions and words will be purple, and anything referring to her will be red

Kinger is a flip, regressor lean. He has no set age when he's little, but he loves to talk about bugs. hes usually very hyper and clumsy when regressed, and most of his toys are bug themed. As a caregiver, he's very forgetful, but loves his littles regardless. He doesn't mind turning a blind eye to an extra sweet or two, even when they're supposed to be sleeping. his nickname for when hes little is usually prince/little prince. His nicknames for his regressors are prince/princess/little royal, your highness. Kinger's actions and words will be orange, and anything referring to him will be purple

Gangle is a regressor, around the ages of 5-8. she loves to play dress-up and pretend, she takes a lot of comforting to get her to sleep, but she's very sweet and lovey. Gangle's nicknames are sweetie, ribbons, honey. Gangle's words and actions will be red, and anything referring to her will be white/black

Zooble Is a caregiver, they love to play games with their little, they're pretty strict when it comes to following the rules, but they still let their little get away with a later bedtime every now and then. They love to tease and tickle their little. Their nicknames for their littles are usually animal based, eg tiger, puppy, kitty, honey bee. Zooble's actions and words will be orange, and their name will be pink

(Edit, i completely forgot to add the color tags, and bubble, but ill be making a new post for bubble.)

#the amazing digital circus #sfw agere #little space #tadc zooble #tadc pomni #tadc jax #tadc ragatha #tadc kinger #tadc caine #tadc gangle #tadc

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gun-chucks · 7 months

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hiiiii its been a while anywaysssss ive decided to take a crack solving trudys language again-

heres the canon symbols + a strong guess on M given the page context

H has me going fucking insane. its one of the canon letters in the story. and then yugo posted a singular trudy phrase which i have decoded below and. the H is different. but nothing else fits im going crazyyy. edit: i forgot theres capital letters. i remembered digraphs but not capitals. oops

i went through and found all the pages with trudys language [i mightve missed one but i think i got em all] and wrote the according letters over it- theyre all slightly transparent so u can see whats underneath.

edit 2: the 5 line character doesnt exist its an O variant. we know this bc trudys sign keeps the same characters throughout the book, and it has a clear O later on. also the sort of lightning shaped one resembles S slightly, making me think its Z as S and Z can produce similar sounds [same with B and V in spanish] 👍

um yea anyways ill let you get to it. if yall find anything / figure out anything new lmk!! ill add onto this w the new info :]

#☀️#bkmn #be kind my neighbor #bkmn theory #bkmn spoilers #be kind my neighbor spoilers #lady trudy #lady trudethet #our lady trudy

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aquariclione · 1 year

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moon (siren?) agender man flag

requested

it looks similar to the jester flag because i honestly could not think of anything else

I FORGOT TO FUCKING POST THIS

ill add an ID later 😰

#agender #agender man #agender flag #jester flags

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eunshii · 11 days

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What's your interpretation of the Sumi6 ending??? I know they're meant to portray a more unorthodox type of love, given their origins are rather unusual/lh, but I can't fully grasp why Habuko ate Sumire? Is it like the whole loving someone so much you'd want to canibalize (Habuko's not human but yk) your loved ones just so they'd be apart of you forever? Or eating her is like. Taking fate into his own hands? He could have destroyed his yoroshiro any other way but he chose eat her. Is there deeper meaning to be had

Hii! I’ve read the ending maybe 5? Times? So Ill tell you how I interpret it!

Im sorry I took a little while to respond to this ask.. timezones.. this was a little rushed since I did this before going to school too so sorry 🙏

! TBHK CHAPTER 94 SPOILERS !

So we all know that hakubo only ‘’realised’’ his love for sumire when they were separated, after her death. And that since she’s his yoroshiro, she is the thing most important to him.

Here, he says ; « I could let you go again, but that wouldn’t change anything. If I cant forget you anyways.. » we then cut to where he starts eating her.

From what I understood the first time I read it, he wouldn’t be able to forget her, and If he just lets her go nothing would change. So what he said.

Why Is he eating her? Like you said, its basically the « loving someone so much you’d like them to be apart of you forever ».

(note that this isnt in the English translations. I first read the book in french since I live in france) — Also, as said by Nene to Sakura later in chapter 95

« was it because he didnt like that I would be the one to destroy Sumire’s seal? »

Im pretty sure I saw a translation that translated this line similarly to that, but I cant find it anymore 😭

Also PLEASE note that Sumire seems completely fine with that. Even calling him cute while he’s eating her. I’ve seen a lot of people saying that sumire didnt want that, or didnt like it.

You could also interpret it as him taking fate into his own hands, other than killing her, I dont think there were many ways to destroy her. So it was either killing her or eating her

I personally really love this ending! A lot of people just reduce it to Hakubo eating Sumire, which isnt wrong but I feel like those jokes are kind of annoying. Seeing them on almost every sumi6, Sumire or Hakubo post/picture is honestly tiring 😭

So basically, from my understanding, Hakubo wanted to be the one that could destroy Sumire’s seal. Loving her to the point of wanting to be together, forever. There’s not a lot to be said since pretty much everything is written in the chapter.

If there’s anything to be added please! Let me know. Its been a while since I’ve thought of this so there were probably a lot of details that I forgot, ill most likely add them if i remember them.

#tbhk #tbhk manga #tbhk spoilers #jshk #sumi6 #sumire #sumire akane #hakubo #no6 #jibaku shounen hanako kun #toilet bound hanako kun #chapter 94 #manga

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randomravager · 2 months

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hello tis me!

(kinda rushed intro post but ill fix it later)

my irl name stays irl, but I use the name Arli online! im a minor so keep that in mind when interacting with my blog. oh also im queer (?) and most likely aroace-spec (edit: what is attraction? and why are men and women hot)

I like to read, crochet, write poetry, swim, and im also learning the drums! I speak Arabic too which ig ill add here :)

fandom list which is definitely not covering everything:

- marauders

-Rick riordan

- steven universe

-gravity falls

-the magnus archives

- uh there’s definitely more I’ll add them later

tagging system

#blippity blap: original posts, if there is ever a need I will put trigger warnings and a post under the cut but that doesn’t happen often

#asks: self-explanatory

#art: pretty art I wanna go back to

#my writing: self-explanatory

#savesavesave: little self-affirmation type stuff, so if you’re ever feeling like shit i probably have some nice little reminder posts saved under that tag

writing side blog: @poetic-universes

SEND ME ASKS PLEASE! I love interaction :D

also if you have anything you’ve written, or you have poetry/book/fics send them my way ✨

oh also if anything I say upsets you please let me know (respectfully ofc). like if you want me to refrain from using certain terms or text slangs on you, or if i accidentally say anything offensive

I’ll make a moot list of ppl who I shall henceforth tag in things so let me know if you’d like to be removed from the list/i forgot you

@qua-qua-qua @monn-i @everybody-hit-the-pyro-cue @raeprise @daggerhobbit @quintessentially1 @saturnrain17 (not an extensive list by far whoops)

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ahotmesswithprivilege · 3 days

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Happy Ever After - Chapter 5

paring: Jake Seresin x female!librarian!reader

wordcount: ca. 5800

synopsis: When Javy signed up his best friend for a dating website it was quickly dubbed the "stupidest idea in the history of fucking drunk fever dream ideas" and none of the Dagger Squad had expected it to lead somewhere, let alone to Hangman entering a museum on his own volition. That's where he'll meet his chaotic librarian for the first time and even though things are not as they seemed, he is happy that they are the way they are.

note: I had an outline for a scene in the museum including a bunch of infodump rants about different pieces but I couldn't bring myself to write that so yeah 🤷🏻 That's why I cut it and because I thought that it would have been more filler than anything else. I hope you still enjoy the slow pace this is having. Now we can enjoy those two idiots (very affectionate) trying to figure out how to communicate and how to be around one another. Much fun.

And if anyone knows someone who is more graphically capable who would like to help a girl out here, I'd greatly appreciate the pointers or else I'll probably use the same 3 gifs every chapter XD

Trigger Warning (for the entire series. Things can be added over time. If I forgot something or you want me to add to the list, my inbox is wide open. You are responsible for your media consumption, proceed with caution, you know the drill): kind of arranged date situation, talk of mental illness (depression and suicid*l ideation are mentioned specifically here) and disability, disabled!reader, plus-size!reader, service dog, accessibility issues, body shaming (self and others), self-deprecation, cursing, non-canon (not even sure if this is canon compliant so, take that as you will), nsfw/smut (later chapters), written by a non-native speaker, not beta read, reader is addressed by her nickname Belle (she's got the books, she's got the beast and she's got the kind heart), probably classifies as soft!Jake Seresin but you'll be the judge of that.

Chapter 1 || Previous Chapter || Masterlist || Next Chapter

banner by @firefly-graphics divider by @sweetmelodygraphics gif by @karlmschwartz (I know it's not Jake but the gif just fits so well I couldn't resist)

Taglist is open. Please come to my inbox and specify if you just want to be on for a specific character/series or everything

!!!Minors do not interact! I block blank blogs/without age/Minors!!!

Jake is not surprised when he sees the chain with the dog tags around the guy's neck, but he sure as hell is disappointed. He wasn't above pulling rank on other people on base or putting the fear of god in some idiot at the Hard Deck but he drew the line at women and children. He swore an oath to protect this country and its values and harassing innocents was surely not part of that. But on the bright side of things, his rank at least shut the guy up for long enough so security could get their act together and get the man out of the building.

He heaves a sigh, muscles relaxing as he turns back to check in on you but you are nowhere to be seen. Eyes flittering around in panic he’s searching for you until he sees you sitting on the floor in a small alcove next to a bust of some 18th-century moneybags who probably donated big time to the museum or something along the lines. You are resting your head against the marble wall and your service dog sits in your lap, his head resting on your shoulder while your fingers are buried in his fur. When he stepped a little closer he could see the marks of tears running down your cheeks.

Fuck this was bad and he had no fucking clue what he was supposed to do right now. It's not like there was a protocol he could follow or points on a list to cross off. At least none he was aware of. His focus had been all on you when he heard muttering and as soon as he looked back over his shoulder, he saw people who had gathered, staring at you, one even having her phone out. She wasn’t really filming you, right? God, why were people like this?

He straightened his back as he turned around, making sure that he was towering at his full height over them as he walked towards them. "Ok, people. Party is over", he spread out his arms, almost herding them away from you, following the woman with the phone. "Ma'am", she froze, the guilt on her face surely showing that she knew that she had done something wrong. "I want you to delete whatever footage you have taken right here and I will have to insist that I see the proof", he's in full-fledged officer mode right now and considering the look on his face it was no surprise that she just dropped the phone in his hand. After deleting the video and checking if there were any more, he handed it back to her. "I am trusting that this is not saved in some cloud. If it is, you better delete it. If I see it online I will have no qualms about finding you and holding you accountable for it, have I made myself clear?", his voice is dripping with authority. "Yes, Sir" "Good. Have a nice afternoon, Ma'am", he nods at her before he turns around and his focus zeros back in on you.

You still hear the blood rushing in your ears and your heart hammering in your chest when you feel Vakarian manoeuvring you back against the wall and you just follow. He knew before you even realised how lightheaded you were after this shit show and so he brought you to a safe space to sit down. You plop down on the floor, the cool marble against your back is a nasty feeling, but you have bigger problems right now. Vakarian gets into your lap, putting his weight on you and resting his head against your shoulder. It was not as comfortable as him laying on your chest but considering where you were, sitting was the much better option. Your fingers automatically start tangling in his fur, petting and scratching him to calm your heart rate and slow down the racing thoughts in your brain.

Hangman watches the scene, trusting that it's not the first time your furry companion has done this and the longer you sit there, the more your breathing evened out. He crouched down in front of you, strategically placing himself in between you and the room full of people to make sure that all someone could film now was his backside and when he saw you move your head as if you start taking in your surroundings, he couldn't help the wave of relief washing over him. "Is there anything I can do for you, Ma'am? Someone to call?", he asked, that charming smile on his lips and you just shook your head.

Now that your breathing had calmed down Vakarian got up from your lap and pulled the emergency water bottle from your backpack to drop it in your lap. Even after 6 years of him by your side it never fails to amaze you how good he is at this. God, you were thankful to have someone like him by your side. "Thanks", your voice is really rough and raspy and you need the drink if you want to even get a single remotely coherent sentence out of your mouth.

You take the bottle and open it, that's when the light catches on your ring Jake cannot help but stare. The silver ring on your left index finger, the perfectly manicured red nails, the sunglasses you wore even on a rainy day inside the building... "Belle?"

Your eyes shoot up to meet his for a second, the intense green gaze makes your eyes flitter away again and you look for something different to focus on and choose the silvery metal of his dog tags. And then you nod, gulping down some water before you close the bottle, nails nervously clacking against the plastic.

Jake is utterly perplexed but the more his eyes are wandering over your frame the more puzzle pieces fall into place. The shirt that stretches over your chest reads "Save some brain cells. Read a book", you always said that you carry too much shit around and you showed up with a backpack that is stuffed to a degree it barely closes. It all makes perfect sense.

It is right there when you see how shocked he is that it dawns on you. You never told him. You remember thinking while writing that first answer that you should let him know he'd meet Vakarian anyway because he's your service dog. But you didn't and now he's not only here meeting a woman he never saw before but also a woman with a disability he did not sign up for. And you lied to him. Well you didn't lie, you just didn't give him all the facts, but at the end of the day, it's the same.

"I'm sorry", your voice is quiet as your gaze moves from his chest down to the water bottle, nails drumming a rhythm against the plastic. "I wanted to tell you in my reply to the first message that you'd meet Vakarian no matter what because he's my service dog, but I got so carried away that I forgot. Usually, I double and triple-check everything but this time...", you are trailing off and Jake can see how much this weighs on you. "This is not what you signed up for, so I could...", you begin but he shakes his head and places his hand over yours, forcing your eyes back up to him. "It's ok" "No, it's not. First I don't send you a picture and then..." "Belle stop", his voice is soft and it brings tears to your eyes to think that this wonderful man was here because you strung him along by withholding crucial information.

"You are the woman who wrote to me, right? The woman who asked me to come to the museum with her to see the riad they rebuilt here. The woman who wrote me a borderline essay-length message on the nightmare that's resizing those patterns for the adapted scale. The woman who checked in with me if I needed a transcript of the first voice message she sent in case I couldn't deal with the audio. The woman who argued for two hours with a homophobic asshole about his inquiry to ban a children's book about a gay bunny and when said book magically disappeared you not only bought a new one out of pocket, you made a bulk order for the English and Spanish version you probably spent almost a month's wage on to bring it to your library and others in the area", you nod as you stare at him with wide eyes. You never really told him the last part. Well yes, you said that the homophobic ass was annoying and you sent him a picture of you unpacking the order and said you couldn't wait to donate them, but those were small snippets, more footnotes than part of the real conversation and yet, he not only noticed but it mattered enough for him to remember. "Good. Because that's the woman I came here for", his smile is blinding and you feel how he gently squeezes your hand and you choke up again with tears in your eyes.

"Come. I'm gonna bring you home", his voice is soft and when you look up at him like a deer caught in headlight and shaking your head he stops in his tracks. "You already got the tickets", you point at the exhibit guide and the tickets he used as a bookmark on the floor next to him.

He came early to have everything prepared because this mattered to him. Meeting you mattered and that asshole and your brain had to fuck you over like that. "You'll be surprised but they actually sell these", he points behind him to the counter and gives you a wink. It's his attempt at making a joke, at lightening the mood knowing this was something that not only weighed on you because of the asshole who had cornered you but also because you felt guilty for everything that happened before. "But..." "Belle two museum tickets are not gonna break my bank account. I'll even manage two more this month so if you need the break after what just happened, then I'll gladly bring you here again when you feel like you are ready"

You take a deep breath and check in with Vakarian who is lying right next to you. Most of the time you cannot feel what's going on with your body before it's too late, so he is the best way for you to gauge where you are standing with this. And he seems calm, almost relaxed with his head on your thigh.

Jake follows your gaze and sees the way you study your dog. He doesn't know what you need help with exactly and what the dog can do for you, but he does know that he's a lifeline to you, so he waits there calm and quiet until you focus back on him, eyes glued on his dog tags.

"I'm fine, Jake. And I don't just say that because I really really wanna see the exhibit with you", your fingers are tangled in Vakarian's fur, scratching him right behind his ear the way he loves it most, prompting him to thump a hind leg onto the marble floor and it makes you chuckle. "He wouldn't be like this otherwise", and that's when Jake realises that your dog is not just for crowd control and to calm you down, but he's your barometer. He's the indicator that tells you how you are doing, so Jake makes a mental note to check in with your furry companion on the regular while he's around. "You sure" "Yeah. Never trust me with anything I say about my state", you smile gently as you look back down at Vakarian,"But the floof is always right" "Good. Anything I need to know? Any rules to play by?" You ponder for a moment before you look back over to him, your eyes not meeting his. "All in all you did pretty stellar so far. Let Vakarian do his thing, make sure no one bothers us and I do have a tendency to ignore his alerts because I think it's not that bad and then I crash so it would be nice if you could give me a pointer" He nods. "Any boundaries to keep in mind?" You bite down on your lower lip, attempting to find a way to put things into words without sounding like you don't want to be here with him or you try to push him away. "Touch can be difficult, especially with people I don't know well. Also, people getting too close in general. Vakarian is really good with crowd control, but sometimes", you shrug," And eye contact is difficult. It's one of the reasons why I wear the shades. That and the fact I feel like someone is pointing a stage light right in my face if I don't" The more he learns, the more he realises that this will not be a normal date and pretty much everything he's ever learned about those is worthless around you. This is a whole new adventure and it's as exciting as it is daunting and he had never been the kind of man to back down from a good challenge. "And it might take a bit until I can answer a question or that I have to ask if I got something right. It’s not that I don’t care enough to listen or ignore you. My brain just has a tendency to run 100 miles an hour with 10 different trains of thought and I struggle to keep up sometimes" "Good. I'll try my best to keep these in mind", he says, giving you a gentle smile before he gets up from his crouching position and reaches out his hand to you. An offer you know he wouldn't fault you for not taking but you miss the feeling of his large hand taking yours, so you take it, even if it makes you a bit uncomfortable too, setting off a whole new train of thought full of doubts that you had no business having.

Your legs are a little wobbly when you get back onto your feet, causing you to crash into his chest. "Careful Belle", he whispers and you cannot help the flush on your cheeks as you hold onto his arm and the other hand pressed flat against the plains of his abs. You take a deep breath while your eyes wander over his face. With your sunglasses on you feel safe enough to do so. There is no social norm or expectation of how long it is appropriate to look if he doesn't even know you are looking, right? "Didn't have a chance to wear these in a while", you point down at the boots with the cuban heels, "I'm usually more of a hiking boot kinda gal"

Jake nods, thankful for every little puzzle piece he finds out about you. His eyes wander from your feet up your calves, over the poofy circle skirt you are wearing up the shirt with the quote and the cute owl with glasses that holds an open book over your neck and stops at your face. He wished he could see your eyes, wondering what colour they are and if you are eying him up too. If you like what you see now that he's right in front of you in person. The thought of you in hiking boots makes him smile and he hopes that he'll get a chance to see you wearing them. Maybe when he takes you out on that beach stroll he offered way back when. "I am glad I could help with that", he gives you a smile and for a moment he wonders if you zoned out but a short glance down to Vakarian tells him that you are ok. Just quiet.

You see the way his eyes go down to Vakarian and you can't help but beam. Other than with Kelly you can't remember the last time meeting someone went this smoothly.

The moment you step back to untangle yourself from Jake he feels an unease creeping up his neck. He liked the way you were pressed against him, the feeling of giving you stability and an anchor to hold onto. The feeling of being needed, but he remembered that you had trouble with touch so he promised himself to reign his hands in more from now on. You were the one who'd decide the pace for this and he'll wait patiently for you to feel more comfortable around him.

You had shared a locker to put your jackets away before you picked up your backpack. "I can take this for you", he offers, knowing that by the way you handle it, it's heavy as fuck but you just shake your head. "I'm fine, but thanks" The southern gentleman in him finds it difficult to accept the answer but he respects you too much to insist. You've been mindful of his boundaries so far, so he'll honour yours.

Side by side you walk up to the entry, Vakarian following you like your own shadow. You wait patiently for your turn and Jake hands over your tickets when the guy is eying you up and down in a way that makes your skin crawl. "Backpacks of any size are not allowed inside the exhibition. I have to ask you to put this in a locker", he states, making your hands tighten around the straps. Not again... "Those are the essentials for me and my service dog" The guy wants to say something and you are making yourself ready to argue but then he looks behind you and for whatever reason he steps aside. That's when you feel his warmth and when you turn around you see Jake, his formerly stern stare morphing into something much gentler as he looks down at you. "Let's go. The riad is waiting for us"

You walk up the stairs and Jake sees your skirts swooshing right to left with every movement as he follows until you suddenly stop in your tracks and turn around, skirt flying and forcing him to stop too, which means he takes a moment to find his footing. “Sorry”, you apologise immediately, hands reaching out to help him stabilise. But the moment you realise what you did you pull your hands back, looking down at your fingers as if you did something wrong. As if you overstepped. “It’s ok, Belle”

There is a pause, people making their way around you as you stand there in the middle of the stairs. “We need to talk”, the words are heavy in the air between the two of you and he’s not sure if this is you telling him that you need to go home or if you didn’t want to be on this date but no matter what, his heart sank at the thought that he’d have to let you go so soon. “Of course”, you nod at him, walking up the last few steps before you head over to a stone bench, place your backpack on the ground and sit down waiting for him to take the seat next to you and Vakarian lying down by your feet.

“You said it’s ok that I didn’t disclose my disability from the start” "And I meant it, Belle. You don't owe me anything, least of all sensitive medical information", he cuts in. He doesn't want you to feel like there is anything in this relationship, whatever it might grow into, that you are forced to do. "I know, Jake but...", you begin and he’s fully ready to repeat his stance time and time again until you believe it, but when he saw the way you turned your ring, eyes glued to the shining silver, he held himself back. He doesn’t see Vakarian alerting or anything but that doesn’t mean that this is not difficult for you. "I've had too many people in my life tell me that if only they'd known from the start, they wouldn't have bothered", the pain in your voice hits him right in his gut.

"So, full disclosure. I am an AuDHDer, which means I am autistic and I have ADHD because one wasn't enough I guess. The autism diagnosis means that social interactions are difficult, so is sensory input", you tap against your shades and then point to your earplugs, "and then there is repetitive behaviour. I sometimes repeat words or phrases from conversations or quote any form of media and I love to listen to the exact same song for days on end, quietly saying the lyrics the entire time and without my headphones I cannot leave the house period" Your eyes are glued to your ring, fingers turning the silvery metal. "That's one too. It helps me focus and deal when it feels like the world is collapsing onto me", there is a smile on your lips but he's pretty sure if he'd see your eyes, that smile wouldn't reach them. "The ADHD diagnosis means that I cannot regulate my focus. It's either I cannot do it no matter how much I want to or hyperfocus kicks. It feels like falling down a rabbit hole and the world around you stops existing. Can be 4 hours, can be 14. It's one of the many things he's helping me with", you nodd in Vakarian's direction. "I am also dealing with a recurrent depressive disorder caused by my late diagnosis and I've dealt with suicid*l ideation in the past, though that hasn't been an issue for a while. All in all, I am pretty stable with medication, but that doesn't mean my brain is magically neurotypical. I am still wired differently and that means that I have special interests I obsess over to a degree neurotypical people would never. I forget things I don't want to forget or I am late for events because I fell down another rabbit hole or I cannot do things that are paramount that they get done and then I panic and have to do them late", you heave a sigh before your eyes wander back up to him. "And it means that I take things terribly literally. You say something and for me, it reads like you mean that thing even if you only consider it as a joke. As someone who's dealt with my bullshit for three decades give or take, I can tell you there are days when it gets really exhausting and there are many of them, so. Now you know", you meet his eyes, for a moment before your eyes flitter to the place between his eyes.

The silence between the two of you grows and you start wondering if that's the moment he'll get up and leave. It's not like you'd fault him for it because you knew better than anyone else how hard living with you was and you were yet again glad that you could hide behind your shades so he wouldn't see the tears that were glittering in your eyes.

He took a deep breath and you waited for the words but instead, he asked you. "Can I take your hand, Belle?" Your eyes widen in shock, eyes finding his green ones trying to figure out what was going on in that mind of his. You nod but he doesn't move. "Please use your words, Belle", his voice is gentle and you cannot help but keep looking into those green eyes that are so focused on you and every move you make without making you feel uncomfortable. He wasn't gawking, he was only trying to read you right, to make sure that the communication between the two of you was going ok. At least, that's the impression you got. "You can take my hand", your voice is barely above a whisper and then you feel his hands wrapping around yours. They are much bigger and stronger than your own and for the flicker of a moment, you wonder what these hands have done in their life. How many lives did they take and how many have they saved in return? But then you feel the gentle squeeze of his fingers and your focus is right back with his eyes.

"I still don't believe that you owed me any of that information, but I appreciate your honesty", his eyes were flittering around all over your face and body, trying to gauge the situation. You had just bared your soul to a man who is as good as a stranger to you because you felt like you had to. Because people made you feel like it was your responsibility to accommodate them without getting any of that courtesy in return and it made him so goddamn angry. "And my point still stands. I came for the woman I wrote with in the past week and I want to have a chance to get to know her better. That is, if she'll have me?" He's asking that question not because he doubts that you want this, that you want to see the exhibit and you want to do it with him around, but because he wanted to give you the power back, to enable you to make the choice. Seeing you feeling so small made his heart ache and this was the only way he could think of right now to remind you of the power you actually wielded.

You let the words settle in. It takes a while but it makes you smile nevertheless and that smile is Jake's great victory of the day. "Good. And the moment..." "The moment I stop wanting this I'll let you know. But the same goes for you Belle" "Promise?", you lift your free hand and offer him your pinky, a small chuckle rumbling in his chest. He couldn't remember if he ever swore a pinky promise in his life. But there was a first for everything. "Promise"

You feel like you are on cloud nine when you put the key in your lock. Jake had been the perfect gentleman to the very end and on top of that, he actually wanted to see you again. It was hard to believe that even after all the ranting and the things you told him about you he chose to stay. Not many people made a habit of doing that and it thrilled you to think that someone you've actually grown to care about does. When you open the door you are still completely caught up in your thoughts as you walk down the corridor and are stopped in your tracks by a moan.

Automatically you close your eyes before you say. "Please Kelly, tell me I didn’t walk in on you fucking your girlfriend on our couch" There are shocked gasps followed by chuckling and giggling. “No. I didn’t fuck her”, Kelly replied and she could practically see you roll your eyes under your shades. “Is it safe to look or would I need to bleach my eyes afterwards? No offence Natasha” “None taken”, you can hear the way she’s holding back her laughter. There is a bit of shuffling before you hear Kelly's voice again. “You can look now”

You still see the dishevelled look of them both, clothes not quite where they are supposed to be, hair a tousled mess from fingers running through it and swollen lips. Yeah. Those two had very obviously ignored whatever they were watching in favour of getting lost in each other. “How was your date?” “It began with a guy yelling at me to get my mutt out of the museum before he went on to tell me that I'm not disabled and just faking. You know the drill ” Kelly’s heart gets heavy. She had seen you struggle with the same prejudices time and time again and it’s exhausting to watch. She doesn’t even want to begin to imagine what it feels like to deal with that bullshit every day of your life. “Oh Belle…” “But at least for once, someone stepped in”, a small smile plays on your lips as you take off your shades and place them on the kitchen counter. “It was a full-stop knight in shining armour moment, he even pulled his rank and all…”, you remember the snippets of what happened. The way the warmth of his body behind yours felt, the way he put that asshole into his place, the way he got himself between you and the guy to shield you. “Belle?” Kelly’s voice pulls you back, realising you’ve been playing with your ring the entire time and staring at the silver that is wrapped around your finger. “Sorry” “And who was your knight?” “Jake, actually. He didn’t know it was me when he stepped in but he recognised me afterwards. Like I didn't even have to introduce myself. He never saw a picture of me and yet he knew it was me just by what he learned about me from the messages…”

You are drifting off into memories again and Kelly knows, so when she feels that her girlfriend wants to say something she puts her hand on Natasha's arm and shakes her head. You need time to process first. “Good for him”, she says, leaving you a bit more space to sort out your feelings before you look over to them on the couch again. “I’ll tell you the rest tomorrow ok?” You know you don’t have to ask. Of all the people you’ve ever met Kelly was the one who was the most supportive, the one who not only respected your boundaries but helped you enforce them even when you couldn’t. “I’m marking it down as a hot brown beverage date”, she winks at you and you nod, making your way over to your bedroom, your shadow glued to your side.

“What do you know about the guy she’s seeing? Other than that his name is Jake?”, Kelly looks over at her girlfriend surprised. She knew that Natasha cared about you. Cared a lot actually and to see her this alarmed made her pause. “She said he’s Navy, stationed here at North Island like you” Natasha’s heart was slamming against her rib cage. This couldn’t be. Of all the singles in fucking San Diego... “You know his last name?” Kelly shakes her head. “You know how bad I am with names. Took me long enough to learn yours” “His username?” Kelly thinks for a moment feeling how her own fear is seeping in. Since she met Phoenix she hadn’t seen her that worried. Like ever. “It was something weird but I can check”, she picked up her phone and pulled up the app. You had never bothered with changing the password and when she scrolled down the messages she found his. “Here we got him. Lieutenant Jake Seresin and his username is” “Hangman”

Kelly looks up in surprise and tilts her head. “How do you know?”, she asks while Natasha is shooting up from the couch, she undoes the updo that had become second nature since she started military training. Running her fingers through her hair she starts walking up and down the room, pulling on her roots. This couldn’t be fucking true. “Natasha what is going on?”, her behaviour alarmed Kelly. Did she know something about that guy? “It’s fucking Bagman of course it had to be”, she growls, so pissed at herself. She should have asked from the moment Kelly said he was military. Should have asked more questions when she saw Bagman sitting in their commons room with the website for the Islamic Art exhibit pulled up. He wasn't the type for it and he also wasn't the type to go for people who did this. It was a major red flag and she had just put it off as something to laugh at. "What?" "Seresin's callsign is Hangman, I just call him Bagman"

Kelly gets up now too. Phoenix had told her about everyone in her squad including Bagman, the cocky asshole who was too pretty for his own good and loved to pick up a new tag chaser every night at the Hard Deck. “I cannot imagine that your Bagman and Belle's Jake can be the same guy. She described him as patient and kind and funny…” Natasha gives her a look to stop her right there. “You remember when I told you that Coyote had the stupidest idea in the history of fucking drunk fever dream ideas and how pissed I was that I let him rope me into it?” “Yeah” “He made Bagman a profile to shut up his whining about how no one ever really loves him”, she’s throwing her hands up in the air and really wants to scream but she can’t. You’d be here in a matter of seconds and she’s not in the right mindset to explain to you why the guy you went on a date with is not worth your time and effort. “Oh my god”, Kelly’s voice is a whisper and Phoenix can hear Jake’s voice echoing in her ear ‘No darling. You can call me Hangman’ and it makes her wanna throw up. “You have to tell her Kelly. He’s a playboy and serial tag chaser fucker. That guy hasn’t had a serious relationship since high school and that would mean you are generous enough to call high school relationships serious”

Kelly is fighting hard with herself. She wants to protect you, even more so than Phoenix. You were her sister, not by blood but by choice but she had seen you in the past week and you made leaps past anything she could have ever imagined. You were actually happy. Like honest to goodness that man made you smile and it felt cruel to take that away from you before it even had a chance to start. “No Kells” “What?” “I know that fucking look on your face. It’s the everyone deserves a second chance kinda look and I tell you right here right now that Bagman is not a man who does" Kelly is arching her brow. Of all the people to give her a line like that it had to be her girlfriend? Phoenix, the one who rose from the ashes of her own disasters? "You know why we call him Hangman?" She leaves a pause, walking closer to look straight into her girlfriend's eyes. "Because he'll always hang you out to dry. It doesn't matter if it's in the air or at the Hard Deck, he'll do whatever it takes to get that kill, sacrifice everything under the sun, holy or otherwise, to get the pat on the back for completing the mission" Kelly's eyes widen at those words. Never before did she hear her girlfriend talk about a squad member like this, not even Bagman. "If you put your faith in Jake Seresin you are fucking lost and Belle deserves better than that"

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