#regardless of how much effort I'm actually putting in
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thethingything · 8 months ago
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"I know you keep saying you're doing stuff to help your mental health, and I know you try to track your moods and have a routine and stuff but you really need to try harder to not get so stressed about things" bestie when I say I'm trying to help my mental health, yeah I'm doing that stuff, but I'm also:
using DBT techniques to improve my emotional regulation, which takes a lot of energy because I have to focus on taking a step back and doing that while experiencing strong emotions that make that hard
actively unlearning unhealthy coping mechanisms and trying to replace them with healthier reactions to things, which once again requires catching myself doing stuff while experiencing strong emotions that make it harder to think rationally
working through shit like core beliefs to figure out why I act in certain ways and then challenge those beliefs to slowly fix things from the ground up (have you ever dug into core beliefs? it's a great way to end up sobbing for 2 hours straight while half your life suddenly clicks together and makes sense in a way it never had before)
basically improvising exposure therapy for various triggers because I don't have access to actual therapy so I've gotta DIY this shit if I actually want to get better at handling my triggers
having to work through processing years of trauma, abuse, etc, most of which gets brought up randomly and then I have to deal with it whether I'm in a good place to do that or not
and a whole bunch of other exhausting shit I can't remember off the top of my head because I'm brain foggy and have a migraine right now
and I'm having to do all this on top of repeatedly getting so ill I can't keep up with basic chores and experience the kind of symptoms and pain levels people would normally go to the hospital for on a daily basis and just having to try and carry on as normal anyway because I have no other choice, not to mention all the various stressors piling up in the background that I'm having to process and deal with.
"you need to try harder to not get stressed about things" says the person who won't even begin working on their own deeply unhealthy behaviours that negatively effect everyone around them because "that's a lot of work and I don't want to have to do all that"
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#posts made on pain meds#had a deeply infuriating conversation earlier and this comment was just one little thing in the middle of that shitshow#but it has really driven home the point that people don't realise that when I say we're doing a lot to manage our mental health#I mean we're having to teach ourselves healthy coping mechanisms and emotional regulation#while in an amount of pain that would have a lot of people in the ER screaming that the staff because they can't regulate shit in that stat#and then also being thrown straight into intensely triggering and stressful situations that we can't get out of and just have to deal with#like yeah actually I've seen how ''normal'' people react to the pain of a dislocated rib#and I know that on a daily basis for the last month I've been in significantly more pain that I get from dislocated ribs#quite frankly it would be perfectly understandable if I just laid on the floor and screamed for several hours a day#but instead I'm criticised if I can't regulate my emotions to the same level as a mentally healthy person who isn't in pain#regardless of how much effort I'm actually putting in#and the fact that it's basically impossible to regulate your emotions properly when you're in this much pain#the fact that I'm still using DBT techniques and taking a step back to figure out how to handle emotions in a healthy way#is quite frankly a fucking miracle but it's still gonna get treated like I'm doing the bare minimum
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quadrantadvisor · 28 days ago
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I'm trying so hard not to be a hater but the more I learn about other ttrpgs the more the way that people talk about dnd annoys me
#'it's great because of how versatile it is! You can play it however you want!'#this is true of every tabletop rpg#you are making up a game with your friends of course you can do whatever you want#if you're playing dnd by ignoring over half the rules then the rules are probably over-bloated for the kind of game you're trying to play#the fact that you are having fun is a testament to your group being good sports and roleplayers/having a good gm#it doesn't mean that dnd is particularly well designed for your group#and also dnd (even 5e) is not especially beginner friendly and its shitty corporate overlords want you to pay at least $150 to play it#but it's so entrenched in our culture and rhe community has put so much effort into making it as accessible as possible regardless#that it's so hard to get people to look past it#i promise you that whatever game you want to play whether it's social intrigue or combat or dungeon crawling in whatever genre you want#somebody has made it#and somebody has also made amazing games that you never could've imagined needing but maybe they're just right for you#I'm not saying dnd is poorly designed like there's obviously a lot of good things about the huge scope of 5e and its experience#if you like using all of those systems or having them on hand in case they come up in play that is so awesome#I'm glad you found the game for you#but it isn't the game for everyone! and acting like it is funnels more money and cultural capital into the hand of wotc#when we could be supporting small publishers and indie creators making sick niche shit#y'all heard about bluebeard's bride? you play as bluebeard's new wife wandering through the rooms of his house#just the one bride. the different players play different aspects of her personality and can get into arguments about what to do next#isn't that wild and cool?#okay rant over#a podcast man made me upset through no fault of his own#and i had to get it out of my system#my rambles#negative/#tma#d/nd#ttr/pgs#i have no idea if that tag thing actually works or if tumblr users made it up#i never want to put negative posts in main tags man. I'm not a monster
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gu6chan · 5 months ago
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maybe its sample bias but i think it's kinda funny how most people I've seen who've played drakengard because of nier are making ending e THE endgoal and more often than not the main if not only reason they're playing the game at all and when they finally get it they're like "this is it the single most impactful, greatest moment of all gaming. im wiping tears from my eyes this is it" and then you see the drakengard fans who've played drakengard because they like drakengard and you ask them about ending e and they're like "eh. it was okay, i guess"
#gu6chan's musings#i think it's different when you view it as the ending/finale to the GAME vs the literal thing you play the game for#honestly though if im being 100% fr.... im kinda not even neutral on ending e i think it kinda sucks lol#like#i dont HATE it#but it's definitely really weak not even in a 'final fuck you to the player' type way just a.... bad way?#like its too absurd and out of nowhere to be taken seriously but it takes ITSELF too seriously to be considered a joke#so its just kinda a weird unsatisfying blend that left me like 'huh. i think they should have left off at ending d' which DOES manage to be#a sort of slap on the wrist 'reward' for players who CONTINUE to slaughter and thereby follow the general theme of the game while still#respecting the time and effort they put into THEIR product. it's not... satisfying? at least in the way an ending should be; but it still#felt like a worthwhile conclusion that solidly BUILT UP and RESPONDED to players' curiosity and expectations#ending e just kinda gave the feeling that the staff didn't really have confidence or even a thought players LIKED their product so they just#kinda threw whatever at them which in other cases it would be a silly joke#but positioning it as the 'finale' of the game just felt kinda wrong and disrespectful lol. left a bad taste in my mouth#bc again its ONE thing not to 'reward' players with a happy ending who are just casually playing and may be somewhat interested in the story#but if you're going to the point of collecting SIXTY FIVE WEAPONS its no longer just about casually playing#these ppl have a GENUINE drive and desire to see how much higher the stakes can get and again#the ending is just really.... lukewarm and unserious compared to the actual RESOLUTION players got regardless of the tone of the ending?#if that makes sense#im rambling at this point ending e isn't even my LEAST Favourite ending (I'm sorry c; I love you but that goes to you) but godddd#i have so many issues with it#rhythm game is fun once youve actually gotten the damn thing though
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gothicfied · 1 month ago
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Thanos / Player 230 Headcanons
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Paring: Thanos / Player 230 x fem!reader
Warnings: Mentions of death/dying and gunshots (typical squid game stuff), other than that it's just fluff, although this is probably buns (my first time writing something like this, I'm sorry, people😔🙏)
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જ⁀➴ In his mind, you were this little lamb who needed his protection. Even if you proved yourself to be capable of surviving on your own, Thanos was set on dragging you with him, insisting that it'd be better if you would just stick with his group (much to your and also Nam-gyus annoyance). And, considering he was ready to sacrifice other peoples lives for this prize money, you were scared to refuse him.
જ⁀➴ At some point, you found it endearing how much he seemed to care for you. His cheesy raps about you, his pet names - 'baby', 'princess', 'sweetheart' - the way he was actually putting in the effort to get you through the games, ready to sacrifice a 'friend' (poor Gyeong-su).. you couldn't help but relish the affection he was showing you.
જ⁀➴ It was nice feeling something other than fear and dread, so you couldn't help but entertain Thanos' feelings. Perhaps you weren't just entertaining them? It was hard to ignore the growing connection between you two. Especially when he seemed to open up more and more, especially after lights out.
જ⁀➴ When the drugs wore off, Thanos was actually nice to talk to. At night, he'd come and sit on your bed, comforting you if you were scared (which you very obviously were). Draping an arm around your shoulders, he'd listen to every worry, thought and wish you have and would just stay quiet for those moments (which was very rare and made you appreciate these moments even more).
જ⁀➴ For some reason, you two understand each other. Sure, when high, Thanos was insufferable, loud and annoying and would do every stupid thing imaginable just to impress you. He'd play risky during the games, just to never shut up about how he survived it and how 'he would never die and leave you alone'. After that, the moments where he seemed to be vulnerable meant that much more to you.
જ⁀➴ Thanos' confidence is unwavering. He'd be relentless and would chase after you, regardless if you wanted it or not. In his opinion, you two were the most perfect match and he'd do anything to be able to call you his. Your beauty, your determination and the way you carried yourself simply mesmerized him.
જ⁀➴ After every game you two survived, he'd pull you close to him, tightly wrapping his arms around you and hug you until you couldn't properly breath anymore. "I'm so happy you made it out alive, princess. God, I couldn't imagine what I would do without you in here!"
જ⁀➴ Even with you there with him, Thanos needs that prize money. Would he sacrifice you for it? Never in a million years. Does he still pressure you into voting to continue? Yes, absolutely.
"Come on, baby! Just one more game, I promise." He snakes his arms around your waist, leaning down while talking, "you know I'll protect you. And with the money, we can build a new, happy lives together. What do you say?"
જ⁀➴ Seeing you scared expression while loud gunshots filled the room during the mingle game does something to him, though. Thanos' eyes bore into yours, making you look away quickly. He needs that money, he knows you do, too. But seeing you so distraught might actually make hin change his mind about wanting to continue. After all, he's completely head over heels for you and he'd do everything not to lose you.
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warblogs17282 · 2 months ago
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Apparently people are saying that Blitz's feelings for Stolas somehow came out of nowhere, so here's some of the more obvious moments that show that Blitz always had feelings for Stolas throughout the show.
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That entire part in s1 e5 where Blitz stumbles over his words constantly trying to explain that it's a 'transactional fucking', all while Moxxie and Millie laugh with each other and also share a knowing look with each other, already giving us our first sign that their relationship is more than just 'transactional fucking' to Blitz, even all the way back in s1 e5.
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I just have to mention the kiss in s1 e6, it drives me insane (positive) every time I see it because it really just goes to show how much care and effort Blitz actually puts in when they get into that kind of mood with each other tbh, plus showing that Blitz very much enjoys the time they spend fucking each other as well. So we can take this as another kind of obvious hint as well.
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Simply the fact that Blitz secretly took a picture of Stolas sleeping at some point and has kept the image on his phone, just basically everything about this image we first see in s1 e7 tbh.
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The blush that Blitz has for a brief moment upon Stolas transforming into his human disguise.
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Blitz's reaction upon finding that out Stolas got pretty badly hurt, and his reaction to finding out that Stolas can indeed also get hurt.
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We literally had an entire song where that shows the fact that Blitz is incredibly excited to fuck Stolas again after multiple months of the full moon arrangement not happening.
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And there's a lot I could point to in s2 e10 to show my point here, but I think I'll stick to Blitz's response to Millie saying 'the bird got to you that bad, huh?', you know, that scene that basically kinda amounts to Blitz telling Millie that he does have feelings for Stolas.
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Obviously, there's more examples I could point out in this post, such as the scene when Blitz and Fizzarolli are tied up in s2 e6, and just s2 e9 in general, but I just want to keep this post brief because I'm hearing that people are actually saying that Blitz's feelings for Stolas came out of nowhere, regardless of the fact that the show has literally been showing us that Blitz has feelings for Stolas for a while now.
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mesetacadre · 4 days ago
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what are your thoughts on the importance of theory to being a militant communist or activist vs things like survival skills (?) ? incredibly broad generalizations but it seems like stuff like that is shared around/emphasized more in anarchist circles. are there any non theory topics that you think is pertinent for burgeoning communists to learn? like, if youre serious about organizing you should learn first aid or this and that. very sorry if this is incoherent, english is a pain @~@
Well, survival skills for what? survival where? if you're in the imperial core, communist praxis does not look like grabbing a rifle and heading to the nearest mountains in a 5 person cell. And for what reason? First aid is useful, of course, for in the daily activity of a militant you can encounter situations that can cause physical harm, whether it's the police or trespassing. You need to ask yourself these questions and you need to realize that if you're organized in a party, you're not simply an individual in a group of other individuals like anarchists believe, you're part of the collective class effort to achieve the short and long term goals that are in our interests as a class. Survival skills are only useful it your activity in the framework of your collective, class objectives call for acting in an environment where that's necessary. Similarly, first aid is most useful when it's part of the strategy of your organization, though I would consider it useful to know regardless.
And most importantly, you can only properly figure out if you need these supplementary skills if you have a developed praxis. Praxis is not just the fancy marxist word for practice, here I'm referring to the actual meaning of praxis, which is the dialectical synthesis of theory and practice, facing their contradictions and arriving at a new conception of your work that integrates both elements. It is not a sum, synthesis is a transformative process that arrives at something new, which may or may not share component parts with the previous elements. Praxis, what cyclically informs and corrects itself through that constant dialectical synthesis is what will allow you, as an organized communist first and foremost, to take decisions as to what skills x amount of people in the organization need to learn. Theory, just like practice, is required for that.
Theory is not a dead thing, it's not the old books and the texts themselves. When you read theory you don't do it to think "wow these people 120 years ago were so smart I need to to exactly like them", you do it to learn how they went about anylizing their concrete reality, and how that allowed or disallowed their success. For example, Lenin in What is to be Done talks about how important the newspaper is to bring the party's full fledged analysis of the questions of the time to a lot of workers efficiently. This is 1905 Russia, in which modes of communication was the printed word and if you're lucky having an educated cadre or two in the territory who understand the positions or can come to their own, and communicate them correctly.
The reason trotskyists still to this day put so much emphasis on the newspaper, at least like I've always seen justified, is because they take this passage and apply it acritically to modern concrete conditions. Newspapers are not inherently the best way to communicate revolutionary positions, but instead of using that theory to better understand their tasks and come to a good concrete conclusion for their concrete reality, they read the book and do what the book says. Beyond a historiographical interest, who cares what Lenin said bolsheviks should use to deliver their message! what's interesting is learning how the bolshevik party, the first successful revolutionary marxist party, came to their conclusions and took the decisions that allowed them to have that victory. This is the value theory has, it's a necessary component part of praxis, the dialectical synthesis of practice and theory, which is the base of everything communists en pos de their political goals.
About what I think people should learn, I don't think there's a good general answer. there are many types of work to be done, and in non-extraordinary cases you, as a new member, will encounter those necessities gradually, to the point I don't really see the necessity of telling people to pre-emptively learn anything. If you can do it, no matter how little you've read or how shy or how unprepared you feel, get organized. Most of the questions you have about what organizing requires have answers and the only people that hold those are the people you'll organize with.
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futureperfectchanges · 25 days ago
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H-Otter Whisky: Part 1 - The Twink
It was bear night at Infernos nightclub and the bartender took a moment to see how busy the club was. It was always packed on these nights as it was the main occasion where going shirtless, or at least showing a lot of flesh, was almost a requirement. So as well as the usual bears the night attracted anyone wanting to show off, from slim twinks gyrating on the dance floor to gym bros taking every opportunity to flex their muscles.
The bartender could see the various groups that had formed across the club, and was himself being kept company by another group - the barflys. These were the individuals who would come to the club on their own and then spend the night people watching from the bar. He could tell a lot of these men were shy and too nervous to head out into the club, but he wanted them to have a good time so would make an effort to talk to them whilst serving their drinks.
"What can I get you?" the bartender asked to one of the barflys, a young looking twink who had been perched at the end of the bar watching the dance floor for the last hour.
"Just another beer please." came the reply.
"You going hit the dance floor in a bit?" the bartender asked trying to keep the conversation going whilst he poured out a beer.
"Oh, er, maybe later, i'm not a very good dancer."
"Well I think you'd be popular regardless of how well you dance - if you catch my drift." the bartender replied with a bit of wink, although the twink quickly went red and looked away. "Perhaps you just need something a bit stronger to give you some confidence?"
"I don't think any amount of confidence is going to work with the type of guys i'd like to dance with. Let's just say they would be looking for someone a bit more manly." the twink explained.
The bartender thought for a second and decided he'd try and help this guy out. He finished pouring out the beer, then opened a cabinet at the back of the bar and pulled out a bottle. "I might be able to help you with that actually. We got sent this bottle of H-Otter whisky from one of our more niche suppliers in Europe. They say it is guaranteed to put hairs on your chest. So how about a shot of that, on the house?"
"If only it were that easy, but I guess I can't turn down a free shot, so thank you very much."
The bartender measured out a shot and watched as the twink downed it in one. He had had a few bottles from this European supplier and knew they could be quite effective with regards to what they promised, so was curious to see what would happen.
The bartender saw the few hairs already on the twinks chest start to spread up towards his shoulders and then down to his navel. Within a matter of moments the guy had gone from a few whispers of hair in the centre of his pecs to a thick forest of curls covering his whole chest. That was quickly followed by hairs pushing out across the guy's face forming a dense scruffy beard. It looked like if he ever shaved he would struggle to avoid a persistent five o'clock shadow on his cheeks.
The new otter coughed as he put down the glass. "Wow, that was good, real strong stuff, you can feel it burn as it goes down. Thanks again." he said smiling at the bartender. He then looked down and rubbed a hand across his chest. "Not sure it has put any hairs on my chest though, there isn't really room for any more!"
"Glad you liked it." The bartender was happy to see the changes had been accepted without question - that was a sign with these drinks that they had quenched the right thirst. "So are you ready to hit the dance floor now?"
"Yeah, you know what - I think I am, although I do have one quick stop that I want to make on the way there."
The bartender watched as the guy picked up his beer and then walked straight over to one of the bears by the dance floor. He wondered what was being said, but whatever it was must have worked as a few moments later the bear and the otter made their way together onto the dance floor.
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No cause you know what would be funny as fuck Ras Al ghul randomly showing up to the Wayne Manor and just letting himself in doesn't wait for anyone to let him in and he doesn't even tell Talia he's stopping by Wayne Manor and it's the anniversary of Jason's rebirth and Ras accidentally missed Damian's birthday because he was out of the country so here he is just waltzing into the manor here's how I think it'll go
Ra's: breaks into Wayne Manor and bee-lines to the batcave cause his spies told him Damian and Jason were down there
Bruce:has his back turned to the entrance in the middle of lecturing Jason for being reckless and for rigging his batmobile to shoot fucking glitter bombs whenever he tried to fire any kind of projectile
Jason: come on it was funny and it worked honestly I thought you'd be happy no one's dead they're just covered in glitter
Bruce: eye twitching
Damian: notices Ras just casually waltzing into the bat cave
Damian: hello grandfather
Bruce:spins around to find Ras in his lair bracing himself for a fight or some type of bad news only for ras to by pass him entirely and beeline to Jason and Damian
Ra's: snaps his fingers and assassin's come out of nowhere seemingly appearing from the shadows one is holding a bear cub with a little bow on its head and hands it to damian and steps back meanwhile another assassin appears with a giant stack of first edition leather bound classic literature and some rare ones that are almost unheard of to have
Ra's: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY GRANDSON'S :)
Bruce: is baffled because why is Ras calling Jason his grandson where did he get a bear cub why is he gifting Damian a bear cub, Damian's birthday was a month ago wtf Bruce's eye is twitching
Jason: oooo these are really hard to get, oh all of these are leather bound this is awesome thanks gramps though it's not really my birthday is your memory going old man
Ra's: this is the anniversary of your rebirth
Jason: ...
Damian: I appreciate the gift grandfather I shall name this bear lilly
Bruce: Damian I ... Look okay.. it's nice your .. his eye is twitching and he's trying to not lose his patience because again wtf.. grandfather has put an effort into this uh. Gift but you simply can't keep a bear in the manor much less in Gotham it's a wild animal
Damian: 😐 so isn't Jason and we keep him around and he gets to waltz around Gotham and the manor
Jason: hey listen here ya little shit
Bruce: exasperated first off your brother is not an animal secondly I'm not sure it's legal to keep a bear cub as a pet in Gotham
Damian: like running around Gotham dressed as a bat to beat up bad guys is legal, or that time you purposely broke into Arkham asylum to free Selina Kyle because her input on your suit was just sooooo important
Bruce: looks to Alfred
Alfred: well we do have the land space to build a sanctuary for the cub and the permits it would be quite an easy task to say the Wayne foundation is funding a bear sanctuary
Damian: ☺️ thank you Alfred
Bruce: turns to Ras why would you gift Damian a bear cub
Ra's: it was on his wishlist, and only the best for my grandsons, also you owe me child support
Bruce: ready to throw hands at this point
Alfred: smirks
Jason: trying really hard not to laugh
Ra's: ofcourse I'll let it go if you let the boy keep the bear cub in fact I have another gift but it won't be arriving for about a week 🙂.. he then turns to Damian you should give your mother a call she said something about wanting to plan something I'm really not sure what it is she's on about but regardless I think she'd like your input ... Well actually both your inputs
Bruce: sighs fine they get to keep the bear and we'll build the damn sanctuary but Damian i expect you to have it at least potty trained and do not under any circumstances let it in the kitchen I do not need a repeat of last time you got a new pet
Ra's: happy that he's annoyed the fuck out of Bruce and got his grandsons Great gifts my job here is done he claps his hands and his assassins fade back into the shadows
Jason: already lounging on a couch reading
Damian: holding the bear in his arms and patting it let's go get you some apples covered in honey 😊 walks out the cave with the bear cub
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purpdrawsthings · 13 days ago
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You'll Be Back Mr Puzzles MAP!
No this is actually real soahsodhsoshsi
Hihi everyone saw my last post hahahhhh I wasn't joking 💀
READ THE ENTIRETY OF THIS IF YOU WANT TO JOIN ‼️‼️‼️‼️
I don't want no nobody to not understand anything
Anyways, onto the details!
Wait, what's a MAP?
Ah.. I should explain that shouldn't I?
MAP stands for Multiple-Animator Project. It's basically a collaborative project made up of numerous animations by different creators!
You might have seen these before in the art fandom, if not, you're not a real artist /jk /nsrs /lh
Jokes aside, these projects tend to be fun for most creators and I'm hoping that this would bring some fun to the people joining :)
Is this begginer friendly?
Why yes it is! Regardless you're good at animation or not, you're welcome to join! Just... At least put some effort rather than being lazy?
Regardless, everyone is welcomed with open arms here! So don't be afraid ;)
What canvas size should I use?
1280x720 preferably! Just to make sure it doesn't take up too much of my data ;w;
But you can use any canvas size you'd want besides that! A box shape, or that weird YouTube short form... Nvm exclude that one but anyways, yeah any canvas size that you're comfortable with!
Is there a specific theme?
There's actually none! The map is supposed to just be a silly Mr puzzles map :3
This includes the setting and etc like- go crazy! Do a sad, fun, crazy, angry moment or something! Do what your imagination can make out of that song using Puzzles ^^
Is it okay if I can't remove my animating apps watermark?
It's completely fine if you can't remove it! Don't worry you're not the only broke one here ;)
Am I allowed to put my watermark?
Yes! You're incouraged to add in your watermark so people know it's your part!
Dw, if you don't have one them I'll just put your name while I'm editing the entire thing :)
Can I include my OCS or my Mr puzzles design?
Yes you can! You can also change your Puzzles aus whenever you'd like.
E.g my Showman Puzzles on part 1 and my Puzzles kinsona on part 2
It's just an example! If you're adding ocs, it's good! But the animation should primarily focused on Puzzles! He can interact with other characters but it's mostly just him. Oh and if you're wondering, it doesn't have to be SMG4 OCS :)
How many parts can I take?
Hey hey don't be greedy /hj
2 parts! I want everybody to take their chances and do some cool stuff :D
Where should I ask for parts or send submissions at?
In the discord server I made! The link will be at the end of the post. I know I just replied to some in this blog and they got their parts, I will NOT be accepting any ask parts OUTSIDE of the server.
The same goes with submissions/finished parts, please do send it in discord.
Why is this? This is because I want everything to be easier for me so I could manage stuff. I get frustrated very easily so yeah 😭
Is there a deadline?
Well uh- I'm not sure! But it's probably going to be planned on the June or July, somewhere in the middle of the year. Though I will be making sure nobody feels rushed for their sake
Have you ever host a MAP before?
Wait where tf did that one come from-
No I haven't unfortunately, this is my first one! I've always wanted to make a MAP because of how cool the idea itself is.
Now that that's done, here are the parts! As time progresses a and people enter, I'll fill them up :3
Intro : me
1. @e-v-e-l-l-e
2. @rainbowrocketraichu
3. Entity-lol
4. @lari-the-dragon
5. @rat-n-atty
6. @madhalo
7. @mrtophat518
8. @fenicearts420
9. @cosmicoreo9
10. Entity-lol
11. @niranutcake
12. @madhalo
13. Me
14. @alex-dolmatescu2-0
15. @libbytwq
16. @alex-dolmatescu2-0
17. @rr3d2y
18. Me
19. @niranutcake
20. Rainbowrocketraichu
21. @messydoodlesyt
22. @messydoodlesyt
23. @icedbeverageenjoyer
24. @mrtophat518
Outro : me
Last but not least.. Please do enter your submissions in the discord server below this sentence :D
You can post your part outside the server if you want but I'm only taking the ones submitted in the server itself :)
Andddd that's about all! You can ask questions here and in the server. Yeetus chat!
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saoirseyun · 2 months ago
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⸝⸝ x fem reader
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. . . Dreaming about noble!dazai whose eyes physically cannot leave yours once catching glimpses inside one of many brothels to see you gracefully await in lounge. You're exceptionally gorgeous, radiant—even. Mannerisms delicate and rather elegant at once, as Dazai further watches you for brief. A rare thing among courtesans who've desired the position merely for fine status and wealth—actually presentable of what is expected of them.
. . . Sure, noble!dazai wasn't exactly sure if that were the case of things but could he be blamed for being attracted immediately for what was naturally beautiful? Speaking of, Dazai notices the light usage of makeup on your face. The white powder and bold red lipstick remains—yet it wasn't as exaggerated, or much more "proudly worn."
. . . You've presented yourself so intricately. Like, a woman of true class. He wasn't able to put a clear pin on it but you alone serve such respect and dignity towards anyone regardless of status or wealth. Behind the scenes? Oh, now we're talking sass. You've got quite the fun personality too! Dazai can't be helped.
. . . You're an one-out-of-a-hundred. At least, noble!dazai was certain enough to believe so anyway. Don't you know how hard it is to find women like you? Dazai's previous having all those same characteristics turns out to be a slut.
. . . Additionally, noble!dazai found you to be much more precious than the usual courtesan bought from brothels. There was another thing about the way you've performed arts for him or provided entertainment.
. . . Professionalism in every sense. You held together acts with such exquisite excellence. noble!dazai found himself in a hefty state of daze closely watching your darling performances—crafted carefully act by act to be done so gorgeous by one beautiful woman. (The fact that you were doing this all for him made his ego grow further.)
. . . Typically, noble!dazai could not simply afford to have some kind of proper love between his purchased women whilst a thousandth or so mistresses long to be called his. For once, however, Dazai might as well give you a chance.
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a/n: okokok fr this time I'm sticking to this style of writing hcs bc the astronomer!zai post needed more effort than necessary :/
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hey! small question,
please send an ask if so!
thank you all for your support<3
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demon-country · 2 months ago
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The fact that I have already seen a good number of people complaining about how mean Stolas was supposedly being to Blitz in his song and thinking that he legitimately believes that Bliz is a wretched little worm that he owns is just. Utterly baffling. I'm genuinely unsure how anyone could miss the fact that it was an act. It was all a ruse he threw together on the fly in an effort to protect Blitz, wherein he pretended to be a big, bad, masterclass manipulator who was just using Blitz as his pawn.
For anyone who doubts it, here's the truth straight from the song writer's mouth:
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This is literally the same exact ploy he pulled in Truth Seekers. He came in at the last minute and put on a big show to convince the people threatening Blitz and the rest of I.M.P that he was a big, scary demon who was so much more powerful than them (which he is) and practically owned them as his minions used to carry out his evil deeds (which he doesn't).
Though, perhaps I shouldn't be too surprised, since pretty much everyone I've seen talk about that scene fails to realize that that and his "who dares threaten my impish little plaything?" and "what's the matter, demon hunter? Never seen a real demon before?" comments were nothing but an act and he didn't actually believe any of it, too.
In Mastermind, he was trying to make sure that all of the blame would be put on himself, so that, as shown above, they would give Blitz the same treatment the others got when Blitz claimed they had nothing to do with it and were just following his orders.
In Truth Seekers, he was trying to intimidate the humans and make them so scared he wouldn't need to resort to violence to stop them. Why else would he put on that whole horror movie display and announce himself and his relationship with Blitz at all, if his entire goal was anything other than to incapacitate them with fear? If all he wanted was to get I.M.P out, he could have quickly and easily killed them without saying a word. Calling Blitz his plaything and saying that he was a real demon served to a) establish that he was the kind of person who had playthings, because that's the kind of cruel, domineering creature that most humans expect demons to be, and b) further intimidate them by implying that he was exponentially more powerful than the demons who just decimated their whole entire team.
He didn't mean any of it either time (except for when he called Blitz an idiot, maybe); those weren't things he actually believed. Why would he legitimately think of Blitz as his plaything and someone he owns when in both cases it was far enough in the timeline that he was already in love with Blitz and wanted a real, genuine romantic relationship with him and not just the fleeting taste of one he got while restrained by the full moon deal?
Those were classist/racist things to say, of course, and that was the point. That was language he deliberately used because it fit the persona he was using to appear villainous. Where he went wrong the first time and how his actual internalized racism came into play was in how he didn't for even one single second think about how those statements would look to the members of I.M.P, because he'd never once had to think about the fact they must get those kinds of demeaning comments all the time and had no way of knowing that he was faking. Calling them "little creatures" while he was scolding them probably wasn't part of the act though, and he didn't realize that it was classist/racist to say those things at all, regardless of intent, so he never apologized or reassured them that he didn't actually believe Blitz was his plaything or that they weren't real demons.
But with the power of hindsight and a more omniscient view of the characters that we get later on, it's so clear to see that all of these comments were only said as part of his theatrical portrayals of a villain, rather than things he truly believes, because he doesn't talk like that after Ozzie's when he realized just how much he had unintentionally been hurting Blitz. Don't fall for his ruse, guys, especially not when it's as blatantly obvious as it was in Mastermind.
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couldyouimagine-that · 8 months ago
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Take a Moment
Genre; hurt/comfort, fluff
Word count; 1.8k
Warnings; description of reader feeling overwhelmed, reader having a little doubt as to why Gabriel is helping them so much.
Pairing; Gabriel (Supernatural) x Reader
Gabriel who is absolutely smitten with the reader sees they are feeling overwhelmed whilst researching a case and offers to take them somewhere quiet – comfort and cuddling ensues.
I’m back! I really enjoyed writing this one (I'm rewatching Supernatural at the moment and my love of Gabriel has been rekindled) and I’m considering doing something similar with Lucifer – let me know if that’s something you would want to read. Enjoy!
Masterlist
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You didn’t even have to say anything for Gabriel to know something was wrong. Castiel was never likely to notice, but the archangel had to forgive him that. His brother wasn’t the most perceptive when it came to emotion. The Winchesters were very perceptive, but they were only human and you were covering your discomfort well. Your breathing was regular and steady, there were no signs of a tapping foot or a repetitive hand movement, or anything that would signal how you felt.
But Gabriel could actually feel how you felt, one of the perks of his true form being an enormous series of celestial wavelengths. It was incomprehensible to you, he was sure, but you understood enough about angels to get the gist. He watched as you sat at the end of the table in the bunker’s library, having put yourself there so that no one would sit down next to you. You had your legs crossed tight at the knee, your arms crossed where you leaned forward on the table. Your posture looked closed off, but there was a mug of coffee by your side and you had been reading lore for hours. The others would assume you had slept poorly or were bored senseless. What that posture really meant was that you were protecting yourself, consciously or not.
Nothing had happened to trigger it, but it was clear to Gabriel that you felt incredibly overwhelmed. He stayed were he had set himself up by one of the bookshelves, one hip cocked against it. He had seen you leave situations like this in the past, when things finally did get too much and you needed some space to yourself. Equally, he had seen you try to tough it out and pretend everything was fine more times than he wanted to count. He truly wishes you knew you didn’t have to, regardless of if that meant you wanted his help or not.
Sam and Dean were sitting far enough down the table that it didn’t seem to be affecting your clear need – or clear to Gabriel, at least – for personal space. Castiel was browsing books along the shelves on the other side of the room, so whilst Gabriel wanted desperately to intervene and help you, he was glad for a moment to think that he wouldn’t need to.
That was until the idiot brothers decided to open their mouths.
“Hey Y/N, did you find anything on that weapon?”
Gabriel would have liked to snap Dean’s mouth shut. You told him that you hadn’t with a small smile, short but not unkind. Gabriel could see the effort it took for you to regain your focus on your reading. Just a few minutes later and Sam was the one to interrupt you, asking for the title of a book you had mentioned to him the previous day. This time it was harder for you to concentrate on your task again. It was when Dean disrupted your work for a third time, asking if you wanted more coffee as he stood and made his way to the kitchen, that you couldn’t take it a second longer.
Your refusal was decisive and your chair legs scraped against the floor as you pushed back from the table. You left the room quickly with a muttered excuse about going to look for a different book. Gabriel took his chance and flew ahead of you, leaving the library without anyone noticing. He was leaning against the wall outside your room when you arrived in a flurry from the speed at which you had been walking. You jumped in surprise when you rounded the corner to see him standing there and promptly tried to push straight past him in an effort to get a moment by yourself.
“Sorry Gabriel, I just need a minute.” Your words were quiet and your breathing had turned heavy. He knew that he would be making things worse for you in the moment, but he also knew he could help in the long run.
“Hey, sugar…” he murmured, voice even softer than it normally was when he spoke to you. “You wanna go somewhere quiet?”
You paused, hand on the door to your little closed in space in the bunker. No windows, not much by way of fresh air, and a whole group of people in the library just waiting to interrupt your alone time. You trusted Gabriel, knew he would never do anything to hurt you. And you desperately needed a break from it all.
He could have jumped for joy when you nodded, but he kept his reaction contained. He offered you a hand, palm up, which you took hold of immediately. The bunker was gone in the time it took you to blink. Instead, you stood in the main room of a sunny villa-like house, all open plan and large windows. Orange sunlight streamed in from a setting sun and to your right, double glass doors led out onto a sprawling patio. Bright blue pool water glimmered from its centre.
Gabriel let your hand slip from his as you took a few steps into the room, looking around with a beautiful if not tired smile.
“Is this yours?” You asked, a hint of wonder in your words that made Gabriel’s chest swell.
“Just a bit of real estate I have over in Cali.” He gave you his classic playful smirk as you looked back at him, amused by his dismissal of such a nice place. “Make yourself at home, sugar. You want a drink?” You seemed to consider something for a moment, rolling the sentence around in your mouth.
“Actually, I – this is probably silly, but can we just sit down for a minute?”
We.
You wanted to sit down with him until you felt better. That was how much you trusted him, how safe you felt with him. Outwardly, he just gave you a smile and sauntered over to one of the couches arranged artfully around the room.
“Course we can! And don’t ever worry about sounding silly with me.”
He held an intense moment of eye contact with you to make sure his message sank in. You took a seat on the other side of the couch and Gabriel couldn’t resist stretching an arm out along the back of it, behind your head. Not touching, but the invitation was there. You smiled to yourself at his less than subtle antics. He grinned like a cheshire cat when you shifted further towards him and rested your head on his shoulder. He slid his arm around your shoulders and pulled you in close, resting his cheek atop your head. You in turn curled into him fully and wound an arm around his neck.
Gabriel didn’t bother to fight the warm feeling in his chest. He felt no need to deny to himself how fond he was of you, instead just enjoying the moment. He felt you relaxing against him physically, but he also felt your mind becoming calmer. His breath shifted your hair as he took in the scent of your shampoo. He had years of experience passing time in the company of humans, but this little display of trust you were putting on meant more to him than a lot of that put together.
His other hand alighted on your hip as you moved closer still, mindlessly seeking comfort. You tucked your legs up onto the couch and the movement allowed you to put more of your weight against the archangel. He wrapped an arm around your waist and you reached your own up over his shoulders. He smiled at you ever so warmly as you tucked your face into his neck, watching your eyes close as you let out a contented sigh. He began to card his fingers through your hair, lightly scraping his nails over the back of your head, and all but basked in the way your head tilted further forwards onto his shoulder.
“You know you can talk to me when you feel like that, right? Or any time. I’m always here if you need me to be.” You tightened your hold on him for a brief moment. “And you can come here whenever you want, just give me the word.”
You leaned back a little at that, catching his eye.
“Gabriel, thank you. Really, thank you, but… why are you doing all this for me?” He rolled his eyes playfully without missing a beat.
“Oh no, the big bad archangel Gabriel looks like he might actually give a crap about some human.” He waved his hands around for dramatic affect before placing them back on you. He then tilted his head forward, narrowing his eyes and raising a brow. “Seriously?” The half shrug you offered had him muttering heatedly to himself in Enochian. “Seriously? Is it really that shocking that I give a damn about you? Why is this coming as such a surprise?” You were planning on not answering that verbally but he refused to let you look away. “Come on, sugar. You must know I care about you by now.” Gabriel’s hand started on a steady path up and down your back, waiting for your answer. You stumbled around your words for a lot longer than you would have liked, still unhappy with what you settled for in the end.
“I – didn’t really realise.”
“You think I bring anyone else here when I can see they need some space to breathe?” He wasn’t mocking, or even upset, he was just being direct.
“I’m surprised you brought me here,” you muttered, very quiet. He didn’t deign to answer that in words, but the look he gave you said come on. You gave a soft sigh of your own. “Gabriel, look. I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t realise you cared about me so much, I really didn’t.” He went to hit back, likely with something disparaging, so you tapped his nose to get his attention. The self-righteous expression of how dare you had a grin pulling at your lips. “You can complain about me not realising later, alright? You were a much more calming influence when you weren’t saying anything.” He repeated that back to you, absolutely exasperated by your nerve, but you tucked your face back into his shoulder instead of replying. You felt him shake his head, even as his arms wound back around you.
You knew you wouldn’t have much time left before you needed to return to the bunker, but for the time being, you simply enjoyed your moment of peace.
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the-s1lly-corner · 3 months ago
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Making flower crowns for various crps (1/?)
I'm making these like. No bake granola balls and omg I tried some before I put it up and it's so good I'm so excited to try them when they're ready
Characters: slenderman, splendorman, ticci toby, masky, hoodie
Notes: reader is gn, this may be split into 3 parts for the characters , we will see, writing this while in a massive motivation slump chat i am struggling
CWs: none
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SLENDERMAN
he already knows what youre doing long before you approach him with the crown... he does feign some level of surprise just for you albeit in the form of lightly raising his brows- he... doesnt emote that often...
he wears it for a while just for you, though he does eventually hang it somewhere so it can dry out and be preserved. he WILL raise hell if someone comes into his woods and steals it like they do his pages. it was a gift you made for him, hes not going to let some wandering hiker steal it from him
just say the word and he will bring you flowers to make more crowns, or better yet take you to where a lot of flowers tend to grow in the woods!
leaves flowers in your room or at your home for you whenever he gets the chance to gather some
SPLENDORMAN
oooooooo did you make that for him? give him a second to make one for you so the two of you can match! no really he only needs a minute or two, hes for the speed and efficiency to make one much much faster than you ever could- whether from experience or excitement or simply being built different... you werent sure!
will loop it around his hat so it rests on the brim.. will point out the specific flowers you wove into it and asks if the choices were intentional... even if they werent hes going to compliment your choices and if youre interested ramble about the meanings of the flowers you did choose
he loves daisies and sunflowers! they look so... "happy" as he puts it!
will dry the crown out so he can keep it long term
MASKY
why would you make him this? not to make him sound ungrateful, he moreso means it in a confused sense because... what use is there to wear this? it is nice, though....
dont even try to snatch it back off of his head hes going to either evade you or grip it to his head in his hands- possibly the most... expressive... youve seen him be in response to non-dangerous things
keeps it stashed away somewhere when he needs to take it off to go into the woods and do his work
he... finds himself making one for you... the process is actually quite calming for him... half of the flowers he picks are actually weeds- not that he cares about the difference. a flower is a flower regardless of where it grows
HOODIE
he likes it! you... think... the mask makes it hard to tell and he just... let you put it on top of his head- you get the feeling that he already knew you were making the crown
keeps it in a safe space, but somewhere visible so you know that he didnt through it out or trash it or whatever- he knows you put time and effort into this and hes going to let you know that hes not going to disregard it... will dry it out like his boss
one night he comes home with all sorts of plants- flowers, weeds, grass, everything he could get his hands on- in his arms and dumps them in front of you- and he starts signing...
...he wants you to show him how to make a crown too!
TICCI TOBY
initially acts like its not that big of a deal or that its really something hes interested in it... but hes shutting you down when you offer to take it back
wears it even when he goes out in the woods, will throw hands if someone snatches it off of his head or damages it in some way. he does NOT care if theyre just flowers!
attempts to dry the crown out, likely fails somewhere down the line and he feels so distraught- he knows that it was going to happen eventually but god does it do nothing to take away the disappointment.. his ass does not know how to effectively preserve plants
you both sit together making crowns
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marchofmistria · 3 months ago
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Hey I saw your requests were open and wanted to ask you if you could a do how would the bachelor's react to reader's/farmer's fuck ass haircut? I just cut my own bangs and it's all crooked and need some comfort 🥺
Hey I'm so sorry this has been in my inbox for so long!! Thank you very much for sending, this was so funny to think about. Hope your bangs have grown out since :') 
March
You already know March would be brutal. He's not good at expressing himself and, especially before you're an actual couple and he starts to put effort into not hurting your feelings, he wouldn't think twice about insulting your haircut.
If you came up to him after ruining your hair, he wouldn't be able to hide his confused scowl and ask "what did you do to your hair?" 
If you find it funny and laugh, he'll probably laugh as well and continue teasing you. He'd probably say something like, you shouldn't be allowed to smelt hot metal if you can't even cut your bangs correctly. 
He would laugh if you met him where he was and teased him back, especially about how he can't dye his own hair so he shouldn't be talking. 
If you had a different reaction, however, and got upset or embarrassed and walked away, he'd probably reflect on how you were likely feeling pretty self-conscious and realize that was a low blow.
He'd apologize next time he saw you, rolling his eyes and attempting to fix his comment a bit by saying "at least hair grows back." 
Ryis
Ryis would probably notice it right away. He pays close attention to you, and he can likely tell you're feeling self-conscious. 
He'd try to preserve your feelings the best he could. He'd ask about it lightly and casually. "Hey Y/N, did you get a new haircut? I like it."
You'd definitely blush and get super embarrassed, saying that you know the haircut sucks. Even though Ryis might secretly agree that it's not exactly the best look, he definitely would not agree to you putting yourself down like that. 
"What are you talking about, it's fine! You always look nice, so your haircut doesn't really matter, anyways."
If you're truly upset about it, he'd continue to reassure you and tell you that you look beautiful regardless. But thankfully hair does grow back if you truly don't like it!
He'll continue to compliment you as it grows back so you don't doubt whether he still finds you attractive. 
Eiland
Eiland is a sweetheart and would try to calm you down if you were upset about the haircut you gave yourself. A lot of reassurance about your beauty and his love for you regardless. 
He'd probably start telling you some interesting facts about historical hairstyles of Aldaria or something, as a way to distract you. You may or may not find it annoying in the moment. 
If you're still feeling unhappy, he'd offer to pay to get your hair fixed by Vera or some other expensive hairstylist in the Capital. 
He'd continue to attempt to reassure you that you look very pretty regardless and this sort of thing happened to everyone! In fact, he read on an Alda-period stone tablet that a woman once cut her own hair and....
Balor
It's rare that Balor loses his cool charm, but you see it waver in his face for a moment when you first see each other after the haircut. 
He'd try to deny it and turn the charm all the way up to compensate, telling you that you look absolutely radiant today (even though you look beautiful every day!). You'd see through it right away and call him out on it. 
He may try to deny it at first, but eventually agrees that it's not the best haircut. He does emphasize, however, that even something like a bad haircut couldn't detract from your beauty at all and you do still look lovely.
He'd hold back a bit of a laugh when you give him a blank stare from behind your crooked bangs, though. 
He just happens to generously gift you a set of beautiful gold hairpins from the Capital. Perfect timing. He'll tell you the hairpins compliment your eyes very well once he's no longer distracted by the funny-looking fringe. 
Hayden
Hayden wouldn't even notice honestly. He always thinks you look beautiful and wouldn't sweat small details like that. 
If you came to him and showed him how you messed up your hair, he'd probably laugh and tell you not to think anything of it!
"I cut my own hair all the time, Y/N. It's probably a mess but that's just fine by me!" He likes you however you are, with whatever you decide to do with your appearance.
If you were to tell him that you thought you looked unattractive or that you were embarrassed and didn't want anyone to look at you, he'd get genuinely upset. He truly doesn't understand how you don't see yourself as beautiful, and especially over such a small thing!
He'd continue to tell you not to pay it any mind, that hair grows back, and that no one would even notice. He genuinely thinks the latter because he wouldn't have noticed it had you not pointed it out. 
He'd lend you one of his big hats to cover your hair with while you wait for it to grow out, if you wanted. 
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genericpuff · 7 months ago
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no stop this article is too funny
this is from 2020 and while it talks about webtoons in general as a platform and medium, there's an excerpt from Rachel that's ironically and hilariously telling on herself when it comes to her priorities as a creator and how her work has aged incredibly poorly in the past 4 years:
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She may as well just be saying, "I like Webtoon because they don't have any quality control" and "the trad publishing market had standards that I couldn't live up to, so instead of actually trying to live up to them, I went with a platform that has zero standards and was willing to make me into the standard regardless of my own qualifications and lack thereof."
Like y'all, take this as advice from someone who's had their fair share of rejection letters... the print industry dumping your unsolicited portfolio in the bin isn't gatekeeping, it's the nature of the business. The way Rachel describes it here - albeit I'm sure it's simplified for the sake of being an interview answer, but still - makes it sound like she was just expecting to walk right into the trad publishing market without an agent, without a completed manuscript or pitch, without any professional representation, and just slam her portfolio of mid-2000's art on the desk expecting them to hire her on the spot.
Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of barriers that prevent people from getting into the trad market, hurdles that can often be outright unfair (lacking the funds, lacking the connections, etc.) but... there's also a reason many of those barriers are there in practice.
First of all, fun fact: the reason why many publishers don't take unsolicited manuscripts isn't just to help them filter out the spam and low-effort submissions and prevent an overload of submissions (because if they took submissions from anyone and everyone, the overviewing system would break entirely), but it's also for legal purposes so that they don't get sued. Because if Joe Chucklefuck sends in an unsolicited manuscript that just so happens to include a plot point about the multiverse, and then a new book series or movie comes out that is about the multiverse, Joe Chucklefuck might get the sense they're being stolen from and attempt to sue them for plagiarism. This is why it's stressed so much by publishers that any unsolicited manuscripts will not just go unread, but will be thrown straight into the bin.
But second, many publishers simply don't want to take the financial risks on random start-up creators whose only experience is running their own personal projects on Tumblr, much less personal projects like Rachel's, half of which are fetish-content and all of which are unfinished. Of course they weren't gonna take Rachel seriously back then, she hadn't done anything to build up her presence in the industry.
In that sense, yes, self-publishing or pursuing a platform gig like Webtoons probably was Rachel's next best option which would be perfectly acceptable on its own, but it's just so, so telling that she thinks it's a "perk" for Webtoons to lack so much in the way of quality control, and we would ironically see the glaring evidence of that "perk" 3-4 years later in LO's final season when every single element of it as a "professional" piece of work turned to shit. It's no wonder she liked Webtoons in 2020 for letting her do anything she wanted, because what she wanted absolutely would not fly with an actual editor and publishing agency that cared about putting out a polished piece of work. The only way she was able to get "in" with a professional publisher was through Del Rey after Webtoons brokered a deal for her to have LO put into print, and even that level of prestige can't hide the fact that LO sucks ass in print. It's almost like under normal circumstances and without Webtoons carrying her on their shoulders above every other creator on the platform - many of whom actually do have experience in both tradpub and self-publishing - Del Rey wouldn't have paid her any attention. Without Webtoons, no one would take her seriously because she doesn't take what she does seriously, and it shows in her priorities as a creator who simply wants to just do whatever she wants without any sort of reasonable oversight like research or editing which are, again, necessary expectations within the tradpub industry, because it's not just about being a free-thinking self-expressive artist anymore in that industry - it's a business.
Of course, Rachel is probably now laughing from her soapbox over the fact that she now technically helps run an imprint, so haha "poo on the meanie trad market", but considering that imprint has still not launched and has been put on the same "coming soon" track that the LO television show has been on for the past 4+ years on a loop, I'm not holding my breath that it's actually going to amount to anything substantial.
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(gotta love how they asked if Rachel was gonna create any more stories and her answer was RSP, which will help other creators bring their stories to life. so at best she didn't answer the question which is nothing new for her, at worst she gave away the fact that she's gonna be acting as some kind of producer who will be given all the credit and praise for other creator's works and efforts lmao no thankssss)
And god knows what the quality control of this imprint is gonna be like if Rachel's attitude toward the trad market overall is, "Nooo they won't let me do what I wantttt :((((" when she admittedly never even broke into the trad market to begin with and had zero experience working within that industry prior to LO.
And even then, Webtoons still doesn't give her as much freedom of choice as she claims to have. I mean ffs, this is the same person whose moderators stated that the Swarovski crystal dress from the finale was done as a "fuck you" to Webtoons for not letting her draw Persephone nude all the time.
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She's obviously still being prevented from doing what she wants to do, when a lot of what she wants to do is better off not passing the vibe check and making it into the comic.
Quality control exists for a reason, Rachel. And "letting you do what you want" isn't necessarily a "flex" that Webtoons can claim over trad publishing when that "flex" is forgoing the traditional barriers that would usually prevent someone like you from failing upwards into manufactured fame the way that you have.
And that's my big bag of cents on that.
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gaoau · 7 months ago
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would rather kms than make my only winbre post be about Suo's stupid ass, so it's time to talk about Nirei cause i love him. i read a post and my blood started boiling i dont fuck around so now i gotta defend him with my life. also cause im sick and tired of him not being deemed marketable enough to be included in merch and collab illusts when he's a whole—if not the most important—third of the main trio. (theres something to be said about Tsugeura too, considering they don't use him but love using Kiryuu, but that's a different conversation.)
anyway, on Nirei and the exceptionality of being ordinary.
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manga spoilers btw also disclaimer im not eloquent at all i just say things.
there's something about Nirei that just simply isn't special and i think that's wonderful. not in a mean-spirited sense; Nirei is the most regular out of anyone in Furin, so much so that he had to buy an ugly shirt he didn't even like to stand out. he's just a kid with a notebook and a simple backstory trying to follow a hero's example. he's nothing extraordinary, especially seeing the people he's surrounded by. physically, he's very limited, which he knows and doesn't ignore at all, so he can't do much in fights. no one is more acutely aware of his own limits than Nirei. i was reading the first couple chapters again and it breaks my heart to hear his efforts be dismissed as "playing hero," because Nirei is the biggest hero in this whole manga.
it's true, yeah, he can't fight. he's more like another average citizen of Makochi than he is a Bofurin member sometimes. he lacks fighting abilities, his diplomacy isn't particularly the best, and he's two seconds away from going into cardiac arrest at almost all times. but it's not like he gives a shit. every single time he gets beaten into the ground, he picks himself back up immediately. he takes hit after hit, time and time again, because no matter how battered or defenseless he is, his drive to stay and protect the town is ridiculously strong. he does go down when he can't take any more (keel), but it's with improvement and training that he manages to throw his first—albeit useless—punch (noroshi or whatever this arc is called idk). improvement that, mind you, comes from recognizing his own limitations.
some have called him reckless (Suo), but i disagree, because Nirei is right. i know the kids would rather look out for him and have him uninjured by the end of a scuffle, but he doesn't need to be coddled. everybody else jumps into a brawl and gets a broken nose regardless of their fighting skills. Nirei isn't any different. he knows he's limited, he knows he can't fight, he knows he's nothing special. he risks it all anyway, because even though he wasn't built for fighting, he's more than prepared to try over and over again until his efforts are enough to make a difference. he's looked at Sakura's back and thought he couldn't match him, that Sakura gets back up even when he's almost fully tapped out, that he's not needed because Sakura's stronger and will be okay without him.
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maybe he's right about this, too. i'm inclined to disagree, but i understand where he's coming from. Nirei chases, Nirei can't stop running because he'll fall behind all these phenomenal beasts that can hold their own. i'm so glad the conclusion he reached was "okay, i gotta step up my game," but i'm not really surprised. this is Nirei Akihiko we're talking about and, i think Suo put it best, he wants to become stronger more than anybody.
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he's been at a disadvantage this whole time, "playing hero" rather than being an "actual" hero, but he has a goal. if he has to tear himself apart to stand next to Sakura, he will. he doesn't have to, of course, he's already more than useful the way he is, but when you're so ordinary that you get lost in the crowd, standing beside someone so exemplary makes you want more.
honestly, Nirei's fucking wild. lil bro's actually crazy. we've seen characters go apeshit, but no one in this entire manga is nearly as insane as he is. i appreciate Suo telling him to slow down and chill out, cause he was fully intending to kill himself learning how to fight with zero foundation. my guy was more than ready to actually fight Endo. he meant that. it's a good thing he's properly learning how to defend himself, considering he probably lacks the muscle to go on the offense. those are his limits and he knows that. it frustrates him, but it definitely does little to stop him, because look how big his back is. i hope somebody tells him, after all of this is over, that he's doing more than enough, more than great.
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to be fair, fighting isn't even where he shines, and that's okay. he's not strong enough to beat anyone's ass and he doesn't need to be, either. he doesn't need to be a leader like Sakura or a devotee like Sugishita or mimic whatever the fuck Suo's got going on. in the words of my favorite pink curse, the real heroes are the ones who support from the back, and that's exactly what Nirei does. he's said it himself, he wants to guide Sakura all the way to the top and he can, because he thrives in being another citizen of Makochi. he's a regular person and i think that's what makes him so compelling and important.
there's something so fascinating about his simplicity. he really is nothing more than just an ordinary kid. put him in a normal high-school classroom and he'll pass his midterms with a 75. he recognizes what he's good at, of course, he knows the town inside out and it's very useful, especially to Sakura. he's amazing support. it really doesn't seem like it and people love to completely dismiss him, but i wanna be outrageous and call him the backbone of these kids. he was Sakura's first friend and he continues to be the one pushing and prodding to make sure he stands back up every single time. he's more necessary than anyone gives him credit for. i have no doubt in my mind that, if it weren't for him, Sakura wouldn't be able to do half the things he's managing. even Suo, who's out here acting like he knows the secrets of the universe, has to stop and reorganize his ideas when Nirei talks.
if Suo is the heart (debatable, but okay, whatever bro says) and brain, i'd like to think Nirei is the spirit and the soul. there's no chance the kids would work so smoothly without Nirei around—which, yes, arguably the same could be said of all of them, but i've seen Nirei be dismissed as a Zenitsu looking ass gag character and i've never had to hold back a kys so hard. idk for sure what the general consensus on him is cause i've only ever seen him used in the context of ships and never on his own, which honestly makes me a little sad. especially after seeing the popularity poll cause he didn't even make it into the top 5 with not even 1k points personal offense tbh i need a word with the voters. what i've gathered is that aint nobody gaf about his ass im devastated Suo has to fuck off (13k votes is crazy gang come on). which i don't understand. take him out of the equation and everything falls apart. Sakura's the sword, Suo's the strategy, and Nirei is the ambition, the desire, the force, the feelings.
there's much to be said about how he's treated, not only in-universe, but also by the people consuming the media and the pr team. i don't fuck with shipping, but when i'm scrolling through my timeline, Nirei only exists in the context of somebody's favorite ship. and don't fucking get me started on the mischaracterization. look me in the eye and tell me Nirei doesn't have more conviction than any of these dumbass kids. yes, he gets scared and he's fucking horrified most of the time, but motherfucker he's fighting. he's out there in the frontlines, making himself useful, biting more than he can chew and then some. i dare you to treat him like wittle baby that needs protection.
if not for his uniqueness, look at him for his regularity, because i find it endearingly wonderful. i think there's something so special about the ordinary. he deserves a lot more than what he's getting so these mfs better put him in all collab illusts cause if i have to see Kaji in his place one more time i will personally book a flight. okay thank you thats all i promise ill never come back here have day.
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