#red hoid

[sylibane]

AUtober Day 6: etc.-Punk

Prompt from @autober

Stormlight Archive cyberpunk AU with Kaladin and hologram Sylphrena. Also shout out to whoever put together the page of glyphs on the Coppermind wiki, I got kind of caught up in drawing them out.

[chumsterfire]

wish granted.

70's/80's work out shorts on sexy man Hoid.

thirst trap? tacky? maybe both???

@cosmereplay @kainekron

[teawizardry]

I am making a Hoid Halloween costume from Tress

[paprus-teutonic-knight]

I Do Not Know Why This Hoid Guy Is So Important but judging by the fact that he has quotes that I have never even conceived from serieses I didn't know exist before searching in the Mistborn tag on tumblr,

I think he's a Worldhopper or smth

ofc Hoid didn't pass Vin's vibe check 😂😂😂

[cosmerelists]

A Sexy Fireman Calendar But Make It Stormlight

Happy New Year! Let's imagine what a "sexy men of Roshar" calendar would be like. And yes, yes I am trying to do purely visual gags in a written medium. What can I say? I don't draw.

Anyway, here's how I think such a calendar would be designed if it were made for us since I'm too lazy to look up the names of Rosharan months and I want to make holiday jokes.

1. January: Dalinar

What better way to kick off the new year than with a man who reminds us to just keep taking the next step?

Dalinar is sitting in front of a fireplace full of flamespren wearing his uniform...but with the jacket and shirt all the way unbuttoned, like he's relaxing after a long day of work, his presumably hairy chest on full display.

2. February: Drehy and Dru

The Valentine's Day month of course must feature Urithiru's hottest gay couple.

Drehy and Dru are lying on a heart-shaped mattress, with a red blanket draped artfully across their bodies, rose petals surrounding them. Aside from the blanket, they don't appear to be wearing anything at all...

3. March: Adolin

Adolin is wearing his Easter Best--namely a pink linen shirt with a deep V-neck, a white scarf, white pants, and a winning smile. Also, I think he should be holding a baby bunny, just to really sell it.

4. April: Lopen

Lopen is upside down, stuck to a wall, his rakish grin suggesting that this April Fool's Joke is on you--but also that you'll be laughing along with everyone else.

5. May: Rlain

Like a herald of Spring, Rlain is sitting reclined, his back against a tree, surrounded by blooming flowers. He's in warform, his sharply chiseled muscles making an excellent contrast to all of the soft, bright nature around him.

6. June: Sigzil

Sigzil stands, shirtless and glistening with sweat, beneath the blazing sun. It looks like you caught him mid-kata, spear in hand.

7. July: Kaladin

Kaladin has been photographed in the midst of a summer thunderstorm: his wet hair blowing sideways but in an artful way, his wet undershirt sticking to his chest, and a dramatic bolt of lighting in the background.

8. August: Skar

The back-to-school month features our favorite teacher. Skar is clearly mid-lesson, floating off the ground, glowing with Stormlight, holding his hand up as though expounding.

9. September: Renarin

Renarin is standing amid fall colors, leaves floating gently to the ground around him. He's dressed as if for the crisp fall air in a long coat, flannel shirt, and pants. He's holding a warm mug of cider, the steam rising past his face.

10. October: Hoid

Hoid...well I'd have to say he looks both hot and creepy. He's wearing a masquerade mask and suit, holding a martini glass. His eyes say that he has many secrets.

11. November: Rock

Rock has made you a FEAST for Thanksgiving! He's standing in front of a table laden in food (stew front and center, of course), holding his arms out wide as if inviting you to join him, a huge grin on his face.

12. December: the Stick

It's stuck in the ground, standing up, with a single Christmas ornament as decoration.

Yes, despite not being a man, the stick has made it into the Sexy Men Calendar. What can't it do?

[tanoraqui]

just finished Yumi and the Nightmare Painter, and it was…good, definitely a good writing job and enjoyable read… But I’m haunted by how good it COULD have been if it wasn’t written by Brandon Sanderson.

Full credit for the idea and for doing his best with it! But Sanderson’s strengths are worldbuilding and plotting, but this book was (supposed to be) based a compelling relationship between two complex characters and vivid imagery. Hoid was a fun, wry narrator, but it should’ve had someone earnest and full of awe instead. It should have had a very soft magic system and overwhelming emotion. It should not have referenced or even known about any universe greater than the world it was on—ok maybe the other planet; that was a good image, twist, and demonstration of the technology level. But it should’ve had descriptions that made me want to fall asleep in the village cold springs under the blazing red sun; or come alive at the carnival lit only by magenta, and cyan and the energy of the crowd; or flinch from shapes in the shadows for a week. And that’s not even speaking of the characters’ own art!

Off the top of my head, I think Susanna Clarke would’ve knocked it out of the fucking park.

[lamaery]

22 - afflicted

Ulaam being a real friend by making sure that Hoid‘s inspirational bouts of poetry don’t get lost for future generation.  ------------------- image description: a digital illustrationdepicting Hoid and Ulaam seated next to each other. Hoid sits on the floor, the soles of his feet placed against each other. He is in the process of putting an old shoe on top of his mulleted head. His legs, arms and tummy are bare, but he wears his glittering, red, short, short pants and a light blue, semi transparent crop top, with a lacy border and small polka dots. A brown shoelace is tied around his right biceps and a green gift ribbon with golden stripes hangs loosely tied into a bow from his neck. His eyes are closed and his demeanor is relaxed as he seems to talk or recite something. Ulaam sits to his right on a chair. He wears a sharp black suit with a tailed coat. Its collar and the ascot Ulaam is wearing around his neck are made from a shiny black material. One of his legs is crossing the other and on his knee he balances a notepad into which he currently writes down the poetic waxing of his cursed friend. Ulaam's hair is slicked back into a small ponytail and his features are unnaturally sharp-edged – especially his cheekbones and nose. Red irises look down at what he is writing, the tiniest of smirks formed by his mouth.

[niirjuana]

Okay, I might be stupid but I associate colors with each Stormlight character and I want to know if other people do the same:

Kaladin: Navy blue

Adolin: Sky blue

Dalinar: Cobalt

Renarin: Dark green or blue?? But like not a saturated one

Shallan: Aquamarine

Jasnah: Indigo (purple)

Navani: Carmine or wine red

Elhokar: Gold or canary yellow (and Idk why)

Lift: Forest green (maybe lighter)

Szeth: White or Ivory white

Hoid: black or a very dark tone of blue

I can't associate colors so clearly with other characters from other Branderson books, and what makes me feel confused is the fact that it's logical with every character but Elhokar, but I know several people who associate him with yellow

Help

[scienter]

WIND AND TRUTH CHAPTER 31

Epigraph: “So think, my dear reader. As a soldier retreats from a battle he cannot win. As a woman rejects a home that shows her only violence. As a family finds hope in walking away from dying fields during a season of too much rain.” – From The Way of Kings, Fourth parable

🤔 So, the implication is that Nohadon and/or Tanavast walked away from power?

Both he and Breteh were former bridgemen from Bridge Thirteen, the group that had become Teft’s squires. She thought that was why they wore red glyphwards on their arms—something about a pact relating to Moash and vengeance.

A lot of people are lining up to kill Moash. FAFO

“Well, that’s a storming big secret,” Rlain said to a very pronounced rhythm, which Radiant couldn’t place. Renarin just met her eyes, then nodded. Damnation. He understood. She now felt infinitely more guilty for finding him weird when they first met.

Glad to see Shallan finally acknowledge this. I kept cringing during my re-read whenever Shallan was impatient with Renarin or thought he was weird.

“And yet,” Rlain said, “every single member of Bridge Four now has an honorspren—except me. Curious, how people’s decisions are an individual matter when they’re confronted about them—but those decisions form blatant patterns.” They did, many of them vanishing and the others moving to the very top of the corridor. Gav relaxed. The spren that had tormented him in the Kholinar palace had been of a completely different variety, but that didn’t matter in the face of trauma.

Gav dealing with his trauma must be a subplot in the back half of Stormlight considering how much attention Brandon is giving it in this book.

“All things are,” she said. “Whether it’s the cup you drink from, the home you live in, or the air you breathe. All of it is part of this world given us by the Almighty, and everything in this world is alive. It is one of the ways we know God loves us.” And surely He did. Even if the person who had held the power was dead, that was merely an avatar, a Vessel—not God. It was that Vessel Dalinar hoped to replace. If he did, would he then return to conventional belief as she hoped? His new ways, new teachings, weren’t strictly blasphemous, but things about them did make her uncomfortable.

Huh. Though it makes sense, I never considered that Dalinar’s heretical beliefs would bother Navani. She still burns prayers in case someone is listening although she knows Honor is dead. Still, she hopes that Dalinar will regain faith in God.

Dalinar’s plan to Ascend to Honor must be surreal to her.

“Rock from Ashyn,” Wit said lightly. “Like those carried by your ancestors to this world during their migration. They were fragments of a holy site on your homeworld, but stones themselves took on a kind of mystical lore by association. Some seven thousand years later, everyone in Shinovar worships rocks, and has no idea why.”

Oh, that’s why the Shin consider stone holy. It’s a holdover from Ashyn. That makes sense. I wondered if the stone on Roshar was sentient like The Wind and that’s why they worshipped it or if it was an ancient religious myth.

Okay since we got the stone settled; can we get some answers about The Wind?

“You were there?” Again Wit shrugged. “Look, I can’t be expected to tell you everything that has happened in the last ten thousand years, all right? Yes, I was there. Can we focus on the experiment?”

Think about all the important shit Hoid knows about from first-hand experience but hasn’t bothered telling anyone. He’s such a little shit sometimes. lol

Although in his defense he probably doesn’t know which important events are worth disclosing.

“Specifically,” Wit said, “you will eventually need to be able to find the history I missed in order to determine what led to Honor’s demise, and see if you can find why the power refuses Vessels now."

Wait, what? The Stormfather said Dalinar couldn't take up the power, but I didn't interpret that as Honor will refuse ALL vessels. 🤨

So why does Hoid think the shard is refusing all potential vessels? 🤔

 “I warned you of the danger. There are few paths in this universe I fear to walk. This is one of them.”

Ominous words.

There was so much to be studied about the symbiosis between spren and human. Someday when all this was done, that would be her project. Jasnah thought her a whimsical artist, and that was part of her. But so was the scientist. She dreamed of creating a grand illustrated tome explaining the intricate details of the bond. Shallan’s ultimate triumph in proving that art and science were actually one.

This is an aspect of Shallan’s character I want to explore more. She’s a naturalist. I feel like that’s been pushed aside for the spy plots. I’d like to get back to the scholarly roots of her character.

…and he kept going, despite knowing he was trapped in a Shallan flood. Because if he turned back, then Rlain probably would too, which would mean leaving Shallan completely without access to common sense.

😂 Renarin, I love you.

Otherwise, the room was empty… Wait. What were those two souls over at the side, in the walls?

. . . Lift?

“Good,” Rlain said. “That gives us something to prepare for.” He knelt beside the wall. “These two souls… they seem to be hiding in an air duct. And what is that green spot…” “Mmm…” Pattern said. “Cultivationspren. That is Lift.”

Called it. 😊

CHAPTER 32

Epigraph: “As a king leaves a people with the gift of his absence, so that they may grow and solve their own problems, without his hand to always guide them.” – From The Way of Kings, fourth parable

That's Cultivation and Sazed's philosophy of Godhood, which is diametrically opposed to Taravangian's philosphy.

Seriously, though – are Nohadon and Tanavast the same person? Is that theory correct?

“Mraize,” Shallan said, suddenly filled with dread. “Mraize, what are you doing?” “Have you ever seen a perpendicularity collapse on itself, little knife?” he asked. “Mraize…” “I haven’t either,” he said. “But it’s reportedly spectacular.” He threw the dagger.

Oh, no. 😬

Images began to form around him from swirling light. Visions of places, people—ephemeral, winking away in seconds. The tones thrummed through him. It was working. He looked at Navani, grinning. Then, behind them, something snapped. Their Connection to the Physical Realm vanished, and something came rushing toward them: power, wind, and screams.

Oh, shit.

[madxmellon]

I just finished Tress, and let me just say Dr. Ulaam was definitely a favorite (I love imagining how insufferable he was to Hoid with those quotes post-curse-breaking)

ID: We see Dr. Ulaam and Hoid standing together in front of a green, sporeish background. Dr. Ulaam has greyed skin, and wears a tight black suit with no buttons. His eyes are red, and staring down at an open blue book he holds in his right hand. His left hand is spread across his chest, with 6 fingers showing, 2 of which wear rings. He’s smiling with many teeth showing, saying “This is one of my favorites” to a frustrated looking Hoid. Hoid has tan skin and white hair, and is wearing an orange, flowery hawaiian shirt over a grey cotton shirt that says “I survived the crimson sea and all I got was this t-shirt”, this shirt is tucked into a pair of sequined red briefs.

[that-blue-spren]

Spoiler alert!

Why did I like Rythm of War?

Lyft adopted a red chicken.

We learnt that Hoid was called Cephandrius.

Hoid flirts with Jasnah.

I discovered that Eshonai was another victim.

Venli is not selfish any more.

I love reading characters that attune their feelings.

Shallan was able to fall to a wall. No more comments on this subject.

We have scientists making progress to match supernatural powers, a diplomatic mission that ends in a trial, a frail political alliance, relentless enemies, Kaladin develops a new branch in Medicine, and, several situations are solved with love and empathy.

It was a good book.

Extra: the spren Timbre has a Spanish name!!!!!

[echoes-lighthouse]

F/O Introductions (#26): Hoid

Hoid is a worldtraveller, a story teller, and a self-acclaimed pain in the ass. A jack of many trades, he visits different worlds and picks up new magic systems with ridiculous speed and curiosity. He is known by a few different names throughout the cosmere, including Wit, but my self-insert knows him primarily as Hoid. (Source: Brandon Sanderson’s Cosmere books) 

Echo is a twenty-six year old who is officially done with adventure. They did the whole saving the world thing, lost almost their entire friend group in the process, managed to duck under the radar during the celebrations, and is now trying to run a tea shop and enjoy their evenings with their favourite book series. Their world is populated with people and their animal companions, and Echo’s animal companion is a red weasel named Jester who regularly leaves inky pawprints on Echo’s clothes and cheeks. 

Echo and Hoid literally run into each other while both sneaking into the University library after hours, in search of different books. After establishing that neither of them is a guard or a snitch, Echo helps Hoid with the eldritch library system the University uses and he helps them get out an easier way through the wards. Echo is immediately enchanted with both Hoid and the spirit pretending to be his animal companion, who goes by Design. Design and Jester are also  immediate best friends, and both hassle Echo and Hoid into constantly hanging out so that they can be together. 

(selfship tag: #like attracts like)

[eleilinnrallin]

I got to be the funniest person in the polling place this election day (<- wore my "Hoid for President" shirt, which now features an "I voted!" sticker and some pronoun pins I considered unwise to wear in the actual polling place [<- lives in a red state])

[jester-showdown]

Jester showdown: Round 4

[ID: Pictures of Cicero and Hoid on a split blue and red background. Between them it says "VS" in flaming text /end ID]

reasons submitters gave for why you should vote for each of the contestants

Cicero

The reason why Cicero was forced to retire from assassinations, was because he was appointed as The Keeper of The Night Mother's corpse.Who is a religious figure within the assassin's guild, The Dark Brotherhood.

The Dark Brotherhood was falling, and Cicero ended up alone with two other living people. During said years, Cicero was desperate to hear The Night Mother's voice, but only ended up with laughter instead.Cicero recognised the laughter as the jester's, and accept it as his friend and gift from The Night Mother. Is still hesitant though, and wants to hear The Night Mother's voice.

After the final member aside from Cicero dies, he fully embraces the laughter and becomes a jester himself.

Hoid/Wit

He's a dimension hopping demigod whose favorite pastime is tormenting the local nobles as a part of his job as King's Wit

[onaslansside]

We finally watched Alice (2009) after seeing the mutuals yell about it for years and. oh. such a good decision. Thank you to @as-dreamers-do, @taleweaver-ramblings and everyone else who insisted on yelling repeatedly about how much they loved this movie. I have a stash of DVDs for movie nights that no one has ever heard of but everyone winds up loving, and this movie is about to go in that stash. After watching, we both dived for our phones to see what all the other liveblog reviews said, so assume we yelled about all the normal things, and please enjoy this list of a few more unique/underappreciated reactions.

Alice is an A+ street smart heroine, love her. Every time we'd yell at the screen, "BAD VIBES, NO" she was also aware of the red flag and doing something about it. I feel as delighted about this as Hoid was about Tress requesting parental assistance/advice.

"Oh this is very Between." "Yeah."

Why does she run like that. I get that the blue dress, half updo, and mincing steps into the unknown are a homage, but SHE IS A BLACK BELT, WHY DOES SHE RUN SO BADLY.

I can't tell what's up with Hatter, every single description everyone has given of his possible motivations doesn't quite match. Like, he does think Alice is pretty, and he does want to help the resistance, and he does want to make money while doing so, but it feels like there's another more consistent reason lurking in his eyes and I have NO IDEA what it is, not even after watching Gen and Athelas for years.

"The decor of this casino is excellently stupid, this place would have Thumb Thumbs- *spots the Ten of Clubs* THERE'S ONE!"

LOVE a fight scene that understands that a gun within lunging range is no longer a particular advantage!!! Was NOT expecting Hatter to step between Alice and the threat with that little hesitation, that brings him up several points in my estimation.

That Jabberwock is so stupid. I love it. The design reminds me of the two-headed dragon in HTTYD.

I'm no film nerd, but the camera work is so good even I keep noticing it. The Scooby Doo chase with the Jabberwock, the focus shifting between Charlie and Hatter, the sliver of light when Alice opens the study door... *chefkiss*

I have known this knight for five seconds and I love him.

I need to rewatch this entire thing already, because the body language of EVERYONE is so good and so detailed that you can't get it all, especially when paying attention to the lines being spoken.

Every single shot of Hatter's reactions to Charlie are so funny.

Love both Hatter and Ten of Clubs doing beautiful sliding halts on the casino floors.

Wait, did the King just rescue not one but two of the clubs from the consequences of the Queen's temper tantrum?? I think he did. Hmmmmmmmmmmm. Is he figuring out he's not okay with this situation? Is he secretly undermining her?

Somewhere in the middle of Jack explaining that Alice's father was being brought to the city, I suddenly began to wonder if he might be the Carpenter, because he'd been shown onscreen an awful lot so far...

"Hatter's going to follow her, isn't he. ISN'T HE? ... oh look, so is Charlie, that's great."

We made identical little sad sympathetic sounds when the explosion knocked Charlie over, but we were both very unconcerned for his safety.

I said, "That can be arranged," at the same moment as Alice and I'm very smug about it.

"YOU BETTER NOT GIVE ME THAT 'IT WAS ALL JUST A DREAM' NONSENSE!! >:(" Melwa smirked very loudly because A) that's canon for the original Alice, and B) she'd already seen spoiler gifsets of the end.

And T_T she flings herself at him before we can see if its like in Wizard of Oz and he just was glimpsed and got into her dreams vs he's real, and then we turn around and he DOES know her T_T, and THE POOR MOM who is cropped out of all the gifsets ajghksjfbfbk

[cosmerelists]

Cosmere Characters Try to Guess Which of Them Hoid is Imitating

As requested by anon. :)

It's like charades, only it's Hoid alone doing the acting, and also he's allowed to speak. He's gonna be imitating various Cosmere characters, and let's see if the other characters in that novel can guess who he is!

1. Stormlight Archive

Hoid: [face settles into a deep scowl] Hoid: [crosses his arms] Hoid: Bah! Shallan & Adolin (simultaneously): Kaladin!!! Hoid: Correct! Kaladin: H-HEY

2. Mistborn Era 1

Hoid: [smiles] Hoid: [smiles] [Smoke begins to rise up around him, as though everything is burning down. Faintly, in the distance, the sounds of screams] Hoid: [smiles] Vin (already crying): K-Kelsier! Hoid: [motions for her to hold on a second] Hoid: [punches himself square in the face] Vin: ... Hoid: Yup! That's Kelsier!

3. Tress of the Emerald Sea

Hoid: [crouches down, begins speaking to a member of the audience as though already in mid-conversation] ...and anyway, that's why I think we will make very good friends. Hoid: Wait! Hoid: Is that something dangerous I see? Hoid: I simply MUST make it my new hobby! Charlie, delighted: It's Tress!

4. Stormlight Archive

[Hoid, lying very still on the ground] [Hoid, lying very still on the ground] Adolin: Uh...Sadeas? Kaladin: Are you one of the bridges? Syl: You're a rock!! [Hoid, lying very still on the ground] [Gradually, the sound of ocean waves come from...somewhere. The temperature seems to drop. People's breath fog the air. Still, Hoid lies very motionless on the ground] Shallan: [sighs] Shallan: Stick. Hoid: Correct!

5. Elantris

Hoid: O-Oh? Am I not allowed to talk in charades? Hoid: I'm very sorry, Your Majesty! As a simple woman, all I know how to do is eat hot chip and lie. Iadon: Ugh, Sarene. Hoid: [fixes his hair using only the middle fingers on both hands] Hoid: So smart, Your Majesty!

6. Mistborn Era 2

Hoid: [Pulls his hand up from his hip with his fingers making a gun shape] Wax: Well, that could be literally anyone. Wayne: 'Cept me. Wax: Except you. Hoid [Pulls up his other hand from his hip with his fingers making a gun shape. Now he has two guns] Wax: Again, that could be anyone. Hoid: [Mimics putting both guns back. Reaches down as if to pull something from his belt, which he mimics swigging. Grabs the air in front of his forehead as if adjusting a hat] Wax: Okay, okay, we get it! It's me! Steris: No, no, I want him to keep going.

7. Warbreaker

[Hoid lies half reclined, one arm dangling, mimicking the lazy eating of grapes] Siri: Okay! We know it's one of the Returned! Lightsong: That could be literally any of us. [Hoid, slowly pulls up the hem of his skirt until his thighs are exposed. Winks] Blushweaver: Yes! It's ME! Siri: W-Why am *I* blushing??

8. Stormlight Archive

Hoid: [raising both arms to the heavens] SCIENCE! Navani: Raboniel! Raboniel: Navani! [They look at each other] Hoid: ... Hoid: Uh....SCIENCE and LOVING MY DAUGHTER! Navani: Raboniel!! Raboniel: Navani!! [They look at each other] Hoid: Hmmm...SCIENCE and LOVING MY DAUGHTER and KILLING GOD!!! Navani: ...You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?

[Bonus!]

9. ???

[Ulaam walks onto the stage. He waves. He's wearing bedazzled, tiny red shorts, a flowered shirt, and mismatched socks with sandals] Ulaam: [opens his mouth to speak] Hoid: [tackles him off the stage]