#record of youth icons

[magicaldragons]

he's waiting for me, guys

[genderkoolaid]

In 2014, the Gloucester county school board voted to ban Grimm, then 15, from using the boys’ bathrooms, even though he’d been living openly as a boy for months and using the restroom without incident. The policy turned deeply intimate facts of Grimm’s life into a media spectacle. With the ACLU, he sued to defend his rights to use facilities that matched his gender, launching a groundbreaking national case on bathroom access. Grimm became an LGBTQ+ icon, celebrated by Laverne Cox at the Grammys and interviewed by Whoopi Goldberg on The View. He eventually won a landmark federal decision asserting trans youth’s constitutional protections against discrimination. [...] And while Grimm became a civil rights trailblazer, the case did not secure him stability or financial security. The Pride parade invites have stopped coming, and like so many other marginalized trans people, Grimm has faced significant mental health challenges and struggles with poverty. He recently lost his housing, and is now facing homelessness. “I’m someone who has had worldwide visibility. I represent an outer crust of privilege most people will never see, and I cannot make ends meet no matter how hard I try,” he says. [...] Much of his family rejected him [after coming out], but many friends and teachers were supportive as he entered 10th grade as a boy and clearly more comfortable in his skin. He initially used a private nurse’s restroom, but it was inconveniently located; peers and staff noted his long bathroom breaks, leaving him alienated and humiliated. So the principal and guidance counselor agreed to let him use the boys’ restroom, and for two months, he had no issues. But gossip circulated outside school and on a community Facebook forum, where people posted vicious comments. Friends defending him online faced harassment. “It was the adults who made it a problem, because their mentality spread to their kids,” recalls Evelyn Hronec, another friend. “These were grown adults talking about a 16-year-old’s genitals. It was vile.” At school board meetings in 2014, speakers stood feet away from Grimm, misgendering him, asking questions about his body and transition, calling him names and demanding he be kept out of boys’ facilities in the name of “safety”. In one speech, Grimm pleaded for the opportunity to “use the restroom in peace”. When a man called him a “freak” and likened him to an animal, Deirdre lunged out of her seat, she recalls. “I was fighting for his life.” [...] In 2021, the supreme court allowed Grimm’s victory to stand, and the school board was ordered to pay $1.3m in attorney’s fees. Grimm, however, only got a symbolic $1. To secure damages, Grimm would’ve had to give the opposition’s lawyers access to his medical records to scrutinize the cause and extent of his emotional distress, a process he couldn’t stomach after years of fighting. The idea he’d have to prove his anguish was unbelievable to his mom, who can’t shake the memories of her son becoming suicidal. Grimm doesn’t regret moving on without damages. But he desperately could’ve used financial help – especially as the trauma of his childhood began to catch up with him.

[deme-real-life]

Many critics of The Navidson Record have humorously added lines in their reviews about the comparative youth of the so-called characters depicted within. A line that is quoted consistently throughout papers is David Kahn's iconic phrase: "Karen Green, a 37 year old woman, should not have been within the depths of that house. Being youthful, she should have instead been at the club."⁶⁹ Several responses to this paper have pointed out that just prior to the filming of The Navidson Record, Karen Green had been attending numerous clubs.⁷¹

⁶⁹ See David Kahn's Ramblings and Blatherings about Ash Tree Lane, Tumbler Magazine, August 8th, 1994, reprinted December 16th, 2022⁷⁰

⁷⁰ Club, my ass. Lude tried to take me there last night. He called me and said something along the lines of "we should go out tonight, Hoss--coke'll be cheap." I can't remember now. I just thought about the club, and it made me think about the poles there, pillars, like Greek architecture, monster and mansion combined. I didn't sleep. I told him I'd be there, but I didn't show up. He didn't call back when I didn't show. Something's tearing apart my seams. Unraveling me like a ball of thread. I'm tired of this cat that's playing with me. The claws are sinking in, tearing neon markers... Five more minutes.

And I'll be there.

⁷¹ Expanded on further in Chapter IX.

[twig-tea]

East Palace, West Palace in ep5 of Blue Canvas of Youthful Days

I have been punched in the solar plexus by Blue Canvas of Youthful Days episode 5. So much happens in that episode that is overwhelming, from Qi Lu setting up a Netflix-and-chill date with the clear intention of making a move, to his putting on the famous film East Palace, West Palace (1996), to Qi Lu hiding Qin Xiao in the closet, to Qi Lu's panic at his father realizing he's been lied to, to the devastatingly practiced way Teacher Liu steps to Qi Lu being abused and handles his father, to the way Qi Lu shuts down, to the way QIn Xiao keeps sending mixed signals and Qi Lu calls him on it directly. And nobody else in this episode let me rest either; Tan Fan trying to ask Teacher Liu to wait for him and Liu brushing him off AGAIN, and Turtle trying to call out

@lurkingshan was already more coherent than I can be right now about what happened in the episode in her post.

So instead I want to focus on some queer cinema history that this episode evoked by using East Palace, West Palace as the film that Qi Lu shows to QIn Xiao.

For those who don't know, EPWP is considered to be the first realistic depiction of a gay man in film by a mainland Chinese production. It is to my knowledge the first time a gay man says "I love you" to another man on screen. It was made before being gay was decriminalized in China (1997), and it was filmed by an independent production company and smuggled out of China to France in order to be finished and distributed. It ended up at the Cannes festival in 1997, but the director's passport was seized and he was placed under house arrest to prevent him from attending. Despite pressure to pull the film, it still aired that year. In 1998, the Film Law was passed to prevent anyone from making films outside of the studio system (and therefore censorship review), effectively preventing anything like EPWP from being made in the future.

The film is about a gay man who cruises in the notorious bathrooms in the parks on either side of Tiananmen Square getting harassed by police officers (a situation extremely familiar to the historical queer experience in Canada [where I'm from] as well) and playing what I'd describe as a psychological game with one of them; A Lan kisses the cop, runs, and then gets caught a second time, and uses the second police confession as an excuse to tell his life's story in the public record, all while pushing the police officer a little further into deviance. As far as I'm aware, this film has been banned in China since being made and never shown (please correct me if I'm wrong about that!).

This is hitting me hard because of the much more recent history of Blue Canvas of Youthful Days itself. As most of you know, but I'll capture here for posterity, episodes 1-4 of this show aired on iQIYI (a China-based app) on August 6, and within 24 hours they were pulled from the app with no information about the future episodes being shown. When I watched episode 5 today, after waiting for it for 3 months, I was immediately hit with a wave of anger that this gorgeous, emotionally moving and powerful episode had been held back from public consumption for months, for the same reasons that the film being shown within the episode had been withheld from viewing in its own country.

Censorship is such an ugly thing, it's hard to articulate but the emotions around it are so strong because we know, when they pull or refuse to show media that depicts our lives, it's because they don't want our lives to be real; they don't want us to exist. It's a very real threat. And to have this episode--which is all about an abused boy who is in very real danger but so bravely insisting that he shoot his shot and take his best chance at love and happiness anyway, using the iconic confession scene from one of the most famous banned films in Chinese queer cinema history to do it--to have this episode be the one that was prevented from airing......I am overwhelmed.

In the scenes they watch in episode 5, A Lan tries to prevent the officer from uncuffing him, and then the officer lets him go, but A Lan doesn't go far and comes back. He declares his love to the officer's face, and demands that his love be acknowledged and not dismissed. And the officer does not know what to do with it and reacts with violence, which is partially what A Lan has been angling at all along. The show really played with this by having all three of the couples in the show stymied by having their overtures dismissed this episode, but we almost didn't get to see it.

I'm so grateful this got distribution now, and on multiple platforms. Blue Canvas of Youthful Days is airing Saturdays and Sundays on GagaOOLala and Youtube (note, as per @thisonelikesaliens's excellent language posts, the subs on Gaga are much better), and on Mondays on Viki. I know there is an avalanche of content right now, but this show is so good and worked so hard to make it to us, please give it some love!

[sexhaver]

nothing on here makes me feel older than zoomers not recognizing capital-i-Iconic songs from my youth. i was reminded of this by all the replies on that USCPSC turkey fryer fire video asking for the name of the obscure song in the background (Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace), but by far the worst example was when i posted a video on here showing off my record player setup with the intro to The Less I Know The Better playing and someone commented "ooh, what's that song? the bassline sounds crunchy!". the only example that's made me feel older than that was irl in high school - i was giving a freshman in my robotics club a ride home while listening N-Words In Paris (as was the fashion in 2012) and i had a sensible chuckle at the "Prince Williams ain't do it right, if you ask me/if I was him I woulda married Kate and Ashley" because lol Mary-Kate and Ashley pun and the freshman looked at me like i was insane. he had never heard of either of them. talking to people born after 9/11 is already fucking me up i can't deal with this

[mothmans-left-buttcheek]

The Bitch, the Witch, and the Star

Jay Mocking x Allie Perea x Nova James

Inspired by @eddiemunson-reader-shame and @floredaqueen FOLLOW THEM OH MY GOD!!

Word Count: 3.4k

Summary- Fresh out of school in the summer of 85. Allie Perea and Jay Mocking are enjoying the cold delights served at Scoops A’hoy until Nova James shakes up their evening.

Warnings: profanity, references to sex, a bisexual disaster, this is basically just fluff with cursing and friendly bullying

Playlist: Rio by Duran Duran, Walk This Way by Aerosmith, Cheri Cheri Lady by Modern Talking

A/N: So I’ve been engaging in fanfics for years but rarely writing my own since I’m mostly inspired by original characters, so this is a scene with two of my favorite Stranger Things oc’s including my own because I am simply self indulgent lol. Basically I thought “what if I threw three girls in love with Eddie Munson in a room” and this was the result. I’ve done my best to interpret the characters with the information I could find while also manipulating some information for the sake of timeframe, I apologize if anything is out of character!

The artwork above is just a sketch I made while letting the fic cook, it's not great, I'm more a writer than an artist, but I hope y'all like it. There’s also songs I’ve associated with certain moments in the fic, feel free to give them a listen.

(Listen to “Rio”, Duran Duran)

There wasn’t anything to do in Hawkins Indiana. Sure there were record stores and vintage diners along the main strip downtown, but those industries were carried on by traditional residents alone. There wasn’t anything charming about Hawkins, it was just your run of the mill middle of nowhere Midwestern town. Until the Starcourt mall.

The newest edition to the smallest town in the Midwest was a hit amongst locals. Normally your selections for an evening out were slim to none, you’d have to drive hours away for the best date nights. But the Starcourt Mall was a shining beacon to the people of Hawkins, a tower of neon lights that sang a song of genuine entertainment. Shaky escalators, iconic chain clothing stores, a food court fumigating with grease, and a cozy movie theater to boot Hawk theater out of business.

It had everything to appeal to anyone from a rambunctious teen to a generous grandparent, the glow of the sun coming in from the glass ceiling more than just a natural light source. It was the light of hope for social lives all across town. Not to mention the impact it had on the economy. Hundreds of new jobs opened up to the ambitious folks in Hawkins with the promise of decent salary. Many people left their jobs at their local mom-and-pop-shops, so the town lost some of its historic charm with the modern mall, but with all the beloved structure had to offer it was difficult to find real fault in Starcourt. There was a Jazzercise studio, a gaming arcade, Sears. With no competition for miles, Starcourt Mall ruled Hawkins Indiana the summer of ’85.

(Listen to “Walk This Way”, Aerosmith)

“Where’d you get that record?” Allie asked.

She lounged casually in the plush seats in Scoops A’hoy, the slightly sticky leather clinging to the dense fabric of her brown carhartt jacket. Select patches adorned the piece, their rough texture matching with the slightly worn out graphic of her Van Halen shirt. Allie’s stare was buffered by square glasses, her round brown eyes flickering across the table with growing judgment. Full cheeks which would look lovely in a smile only adding to her youthful appearance while her full lips pulled into an unamused frown. A hint of pink in her tawny skin accented by the dark birthmarks under her eye. Her brown hair tickled her shoulders with a volume brought on by messy waves.

Allie Perea was rarely seen without a displeased stare, could’ve been caused by her tumultuous family or could’ve been caused by her fresh seeded hatred for Hawkins. She’d moved in less than a year ago, yet within her first day she had marked herself as a basket case amongst her fellow classmates. The bucket of insults she had collected filtered out to one title she did her best to wear proudly, “The Bitch of Hawkins High.” She possessed an off-putting attitude ready for someone to have a problem with her and an unwillingness to be social, which made her seat in a social setting like Starcourt Mall unusual. In truth Allie stared at the girl across the sugar stained table, a shadow looming in the bright colored shop.

Brown hooded eyes stared back at her framed by thick black eye makeup, black hair teased to high heaven like a rain cloud around her head. Her upturned nose sported a septum ring and her tall cheekbones were painted with unnaturally sharp black contour, it washed out her pale skin to a sickly ivory. A Siouxsie and the Banshees shirt cut off her shoulders while fishnet gloves crawled up her arms to meet the short sleeves. She had thin lips painted in a deep red with an oval birthmark dotted just under the left of her lip.

Janice, Jay, Mocking had practically grown up in Hawkins. She memorized every store to street corner, remembered all the awkward stages of the preps and jocks that mocked her, and knew every hypocrite that attended Sunday service in the church her parents pastored. In middle school her odd tendencies were mostly glossed over thanks to the authority her parents had in the community, but she lost her safety when her childhood sketches of graveyards and growing taxidermy collections got out. Her outcast shift was welcomed by her peers with a series of rude and ironic insults, and despite all the bird puns made from her name “The Hawkins Witch” was the name that stuck the most.

So it was appropriate for the bitch and the witch to grow a relationship that benefited the both of them. Allie had someone to help her navigate and Jay could be weird without being alone. Getting to know Starcourt mall had become their pastime, so despite their antisocial tendencies the two enjoyed getting complimented by strangers or berated by their school nemesis in a building with more escape routes.

Jay had let Allie’s question hang in the air, the two giving matching deadpanned stares while Scoops A’hoy bustled around them. After a slow deliberate blink Jay eventually answered, “Sam Goody’s.”

A lick of shame twisted her tongue, and Allie caught it.

“Sam Goody’s? Isn’t that a chain store? Weren’t you bashing chain stores last week?.” Allie accused.

Jay rolled her eyes back and pulled the vinyl into her lap, “look, Tears for Fears came out with a new album and I’ve been dying to-“

“Tears for Fears?” Allie interrupted.

Jay stifled just for a moment, unsure if she misspoke, “yes? Tears for Fears, Songs from the Big Chair?”

The girl across from her adjusted her glasses and brushed her hair back.

“What happened to all the punk ideologies you were preaching last week? Not going to chain stores or feeding the industry and shit?”

“The album came out months ago and Music Mania downtown still doesn’t have any copies, one little Sam Goody’s run isn’t gonna hurt anyone,” Jay defended herself with a near perfect cadence. Like this was an argument she had rehearsed in her head.

“I’m just surprised you’re breaking your ‘goth principles’ over Tears For Fears.”

“Bitch, you listen to Phil Collins.”

“I do, oh I do, proudly in fact. But I’m not busting my balls adhering to rules of my subculture, and then breaking said rules for a pop group.”

“They’re pop-rock! You know what- forget it, I’m not taking shit from a ‘metalhead’ that listens to Prince.”

Allie slowly shook her head while maintaining eye contact, “... says the hypocrite.”

“Yeah?” Jay answered while raising her brows and cocking her head to the side.

“Well you’re a try hard.”

Allie crossed her arms, “you’re a poser-”

“You’re a virgin,” Jay interjected while slightly lunging over the table. The two were locked in a stare down for a long passage of silence.

“… do you wanna split a sundae?” Allie asked suddenly.

Jay’s eyes flickered to the table as she contemplated with a hum before she looked back up at Allie with a shrug, “butterscotch?”

She grimaced and groaned to disagree, “grody.”

Jay sighed in disappointment, turning her head to look back at the menu and consider their options. Just as she did so she was hit with a whiff of sweet perfume and a flash of baby blue in her vision. She felt her stomach drop just for a moment as she recognized the form walking up to the register.

(Listen to “Cheri Cheri Lady”, Modern Talking)

If mermaids were real she would be a siren. Warm skin shining rose gold in the light, plump round lips painted with delicate gloss, and deep doe eyes with lushes lashes fluttering with mischief. Her maple brown hair was long and rich in volume, curled to perfection while her bangs floated gently over her forehead. One birthmark kissed her left side just under her lip and another sat comfortably under her right eyebrow. She was dressed simply but with perfect measure, her blue dress hugging her slim waist and chest tightly while swaying around her wide hips and along her thick thighs.

Aknova James was borderline Hawkins royalty. Her parents were loaded so she was afforded every luxury the average resident of Hawkins would have to go out of their way for. While growing up under the influence of the Hippie movement from the prior decade, Nova grew into an incredibly classy young woman. At least she appeared classy. Just underneath her elegantly trimmed smile was a carefree attitude and an iron resolve, few people’s opinions could deter her predetermined perspective. And should someone cross her, she had a few choice words which would knock the wind out of anyone’s sails. Thankfully the shining star used her power wisely… more or less.

“Ohhh fuck,” Jay muttered as she watched the new customer pass by their table.

Allie’s brows furrowed and she twisted to try to match Jay’s gaze, “What?”

The second she spotted the cheerleader her own jaw became slack, “Ohhh mierda.”

Both the odd balls were familiar with Nova, mostly from the captivating atmosphere she carried through the halls, and long winded rumors of her privileged position. Being on the cheer team also granted her revered social status, and the outcasts clocked her high school social class from miles away. She was in a different league from the two entirely; when she entered a room, things shook. They could only hope things would shake away from them.

“That’s Nova James,” Allie commented with surprise.

“Yeah I know that’s Nova fucking James, her giant ass is ten feet away from my face,” Jay hissed. Curling her fingers together and resting her elbows on the table, her chin sat atop her intertwined gloved hands. Narrowing her eyes at the girl who had approached the desk, she grumbled under her breath just loud enough for her friend to hear.

“Shit, she looks hot. Really hot.”

“Good, she’ll take some of the attention off of you and your rats nest,” Allie teased while pulling at the wispy strands of Jay’s teased hair.

“It’s a bat's nest, god, and you know what, maybe I want a little attention! I’m hot! And when Madonna wannabe’s aren’t walking around like they’re god's greatest gift to the mall, I actually get compliments!”

Allie opened her mouth to reply to her friend’s banter but was left without any silence to fill.

“God she really pisses me off. Every time she comes in here she asks for a sample, dislikes the sample, and orders two scoops of strawberry in a waffle cone. But like three bites into the ice cream she sticks the whole thing into a bowl. You’d think she’d start cutting to the chase and getting strawberry in a bowl, but no, she goes through the whole process every time.”

The brunette stared at the rambling goth across from her with concern. “… are you stalking her?”

Jay looked back at her with a face still perplexed in frustration at the girl currently ordering, “I’m here a lot, and I like to people-watch, okay? Look- just look-“

As she insisted and subtly pointed to Nova, the girl already had a small spoon between her lips. Chewing slightly and nodding in response she tossed the spoon into a small trash bin. She pursed her lips while thinking for a moment, the dirty blonde currently working the desk sighing with an empty stare as Nova contemplated. She finally spoke up and pointed to a flavor sitting deep in the display. Allie and Jay watched intently while the employee leaned to grab a waffle cone, and after digging her scooper into the tub she lifted a perfect scoop of pink and red, followed by a second scoop to raise the height of the treat.

“Yeah, she got strawberry,” Allie nodded absentmindedly at the scene in front of her only to be immediately shushed by Jay who was still watching like a hawk.

Nova received the ice cream with a smile, licking a stripe while rummaging through her purse. She took a second bite while pulling out cash and dropped it casually by the register. Her motions stilled as she waited for her change to be rung up, and only once the receipt was handed to her did she take a third bite of the ice cream. After a brief conversation with the current employee the girl was handed a small bowl, and Nova dumped her ice cream down into the cup quickly while the waffle cone peaked out like a tall tower.

“Boom!” Jay slammed her hands against the table. “Just like I said. She literally has a pattern!”

Allie flinched, startled from the noise but nodded back.

“Yep, yeah, wow,” she began in a sarcastic voice. “She literally did exactly what you said she would do. That was crazy. I’m so- so enraged by her behavior. Good catch Jay.”

“… can you at least pretend to care?”

“I was pretending.”

“Well then do it better-“

“Hey Jay,” a new voice chimed into their conversation.

The two girls turned their gazes to the opposite side of their table to find a pretty brunette in a blue dress staring at them patiently while chewing on a spoonful of ice cream. A smirk tugged at her lips and she batted her lashes with feigned innocence. The once previously hunched over goth straightened in her seat and smiled politely.

“Hey- hi, Nova. Good to see you.” She slurred in slight panic.

“You know I thought Elvira was sitting here for a second, I was about to ask for an autograph! How are you?” Nova asked as she shifted her weight to one hip, eyes flickering between the two girls sitting side by side in the booth.

Jay let out a breathless laugh while her flattered face grew pink.

“I’m good, uhm, have you met Allie?” Jay asked as she motioned to her friend next to her, Nova’s eyes quickly followed like she had been waiting for the stranger to be brought up.

“No, not formally, I’m Nova James,” she said with an award winning grin. Her hair falling delicately to one shoulder as if it was commanded to.

Allie was struggling to respond, staring wide-eyed while her mouth hung open and a hum rang out, like she was a robot in the middle of saying hi before someone hijacked her programming. Jay gently kicked Allie under the table to silence her droning, their thick boots creating a dull ‘thwack’ against each other.

“Hi! Nice to meet you finally, formally, properly, uhm- I’m Allie Perea, I moved here a few months ago- New Mexico.” Allie came to life and spoke quickly.

“No way,” Nova’s voice peaked with intrigue, “that’s so cool! I went there for a music festival with my parents when I was younger.”

Allie was wide eyed behind her square glasses, “Oh wow, you’ve really traveled- uh, yeah we get really good groups out there. My dad took me to see Van Halen last year.” She said and after a beat tugged on her tour t-shirt.

“Those are the guys that did that one song-” Nova hummed the opening melody to Jump while squinting her eyes to place the group in her mind.

“Yeah! Yeah that’s them!” Allie answered with a grin

“Gnarly, they seem fun to hear live.” She complimented while watching the bundled up girl continue to gawk. Allie’s soft features slowly started to curl into an impressed smile, eyes shining with excitement at the mention of the band. Although the transfer student was a fresh face, the cheerleader couldn’t help but find Allie endearing and sweet.

Allie’s mind on the other hand was a whirlwind, this casual interaction defied everything she knew about the social hierarchy in Hawkins. Cheerleaders didn’t talk to basket cases and when they did they certainly weren’t nice about it. Yet the wealthy girl was currently on equal footing as the outcasts, enjoying the same atmosphere and the same sweet treat. The concept helped to soothe Allie’s rampant anxiety.

Jay looked between the two for a moment as the conversation halted, so she interrupted the awkward silence with as charming a smile as she could muster, “Well what brings you to the mall? Running some errands? Meeting up with a hot date?”

Nova laughed and waved her hand in the air, “not today, I’m just meeting up with a friend.”

Nova glanced between the two girls, her foxy eyes glimmering with cunning as her freehand pressed on the table. Leaning over the table to get closer to them she tilted her head.

“Actually, you guys are friends with Eddie Munson right?”

The question punctuated a pause in the banter, Jay and Allie flickering their eyes to meet as their faces twinned in confusion.

“Yeah? We are.” Jay answered uncertain.

“Does he have a job right now?”

It was then Allie barked a harsh laugh, a mocking smile stretching her lips.

“I think Eddie’s allergic to work! Guys been slacking off all summer, super bummed about being held back… I shouldn’t have said that last part.”

“It’s fine, I suspected as much.” Nova pulled out a small paper from her purse and slid it onto the table.

“My dad’s looking for someone to keep our pool clean for the summer, pay’s pretty good. If you guys could let him know I’d really appreciate it, have him give me a call if he wants the job.”

As the paper rested between the pair they both moved to inspect it, and sure enough it was Nova’s phone number. Written plainly but perfectly nonetheless. Jay ran the paper between her hands for a moment while she glanced back and forth between the paper, her friend, and the cheerleader.

“Uh, yeah, yeah, we will let him know of the opportunity.”

“Great, you guys are the best! I’ve gotta go but I’ll catch you later,” Nova gave them a playful wink and walked off, her hips swaying side to side as she waved to someone beyond Scoops A’hoy. “Isa! Over here!”

Jay scrambled to lean on the table and watch the swaying of her skirt, “hate to see her leave, love to watch her walk away-“

“Holy shit what was that?” Allie exclaimed as she grabbed Jay’s arm and shook her harshly. “How did she know your name?”

“I don’t know!”

“I thought I was gonna die! Pinche madre, she knows my name now!” Allie deflated in her seat and slapped her hand against her chest.

Jay was too busy examining the slip of paper in her hands, bouncing slightly in her seat while relishing over the dark ink, “and we have her phone number! She gave us her number!”

“… yeah, for Eddie…” Allie corrected with a studious cadence.

Jay turned to look at her, both staring deadpanned as they had earlier.

“… and? She handed it to me.”

“I don’t think she wants you as her poolboy.”

“Hey, I could make a great pool boy. I’m fit, I’m handy-“

“Jay, she wants to fuck Eddie.”

“Ew!” Jay’s face scrunched up like she had tasted a fresh lemon and she dropped the number on the table.

“Gag me with a spoon, don’t put that image in my head!”

“It’s obvious! If her family was really just looking for someone to clean their pool they’d get some average Joe off the street, but Nova’s looking for someone specific to take it. I mean she went out of her way to talk to us just to get to Eddie!”

Allie waved her hands in the air for emphasis and finally slapped them back down in her lap, her friend watching with her lips pressed thinly together and a stare that suggested denial. With a groan Jay dropped her head into her hands and rubbed her face harshly.

“Oh god, she’s gonna fuck Eddie…”

Allie nodded back, the thought that they were accidental accomplice’s in an aspiring hookup was awkward enough. But when factoring in that one of the most popular girls in Hawkins High was making a pass at their loser Dungeon Master, a guy so different from her, a whole new cloud of shame hung over their heads in response’.

Considering Eddie’s romantic track record, Nova’s chances with him were shaky; his last relationship ended in a felony and his crush turned out to be a lesbian. Whatever the result, Allie and Jay had to endure bearing witness. The two girls sat in quiet contemplation, imagining what kind of dumpster fire Eddie would make out of Nova’s advances while also reeling that they encountered a wild cheerleader and survived unscathed.

“… do you wanna split a sundae?” Allie asked with disdain still present in her attitude.

Jay raised her head, humming in contemplation, “butterscotch?”

“… fuck it, sure.”

[weirdgirlshowdown]

Round 4 [Semifinals]: Webby Vanderquack [Ducktales 2017] vs. Lilo Pelekai [Lilo and Stitch] vs. Candace Flynn [Phineas and Ferb]

webby vanderquack was practically raised to be a weirdgirl- she didn't leave her home until she was a preteen and knew almost zero social rules when she did. she summons ghosts and demons for fun at sleepovers, knows several different ways to kill you, climbs walls like a spider, and may have been grown in a lab [inconclusive]. with the worst track record out of these three thus far, can she overcome the odds to reach the weirdgirl finals?

i don't think i need to say too much about lilo pelekai considering how well she's done in the competition thus far, but i will regardless. we all know lilo. she's the iconic little autistic girl of our childhoods- studying voodoo to punish her 'friends', not understanding many social conventions, and theorizing that her sister's manager is secretly a vampire. will she overcome her competition once again?

candace flynn may seem like a normal teenage girl, but you'd be highly mistaken. while being high-strung can easily be attributed to her youth, her extreme paranoia and compulsions, as well as the zebra that calls her kevin, were strong contenders for why i chose to include her in the bracket. the universe may be against her, but does she have the weirdness that it takes to go all the way to the finals?

[earthwormjimnocontext]

If this is my final post on Earthworm Jim No Context, I'd be fine. Because I'VE GOT A THEORY WITH SOME EVIDENCE I'M GONNA HIT YOU WITH! BACKED UP BY THE SCRAPPED FILES OF EARTHWORM JIM 3D! AND IF A CONCRETE ANSWER POPS UP FROM CONCEPT ART, AND I'M WRONG, I WILL SPEED RUN IT AS KIM.

Here goes:

Now as we could all piece together, Kim was probably not intended to be the trans icon she is, and was put in that final boss slot final minute. So what was she initially?

Earthworm Kim was originally Jim's mother!

Now I know what you're thinking. WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF IDEA IS THAT?! But, there's some evidence for this.

Evidence #1 Scrapped Dialogue

The following is a dialogue tree found hidden within the files of the PC version Earthworm Jim 3D:

004dd96c Gee thanks..Mr Super-ego

you've been a big help.

"Gee thanks..Mr Super-ego\nyou've been a big help.\n" ds

004de79c I think the swelling is

going down now. "I think the swelling is\ngoing down now." ds

004de79c I think the swelling is

going down now. "I think the swelling is\ngoing down now." ds

004de8e4 Hello EJ. I seem to have

had an allergic reaction

to this water. I hope my

mum isn't angry with me »Hello EJ. I seem to have had an allergic reaction to this water. I hope my mum isn't angry with me« ds

004de9c4 I'm learning to use an

opposable thumb. "I'm learning to use an\nopposable thumb." ds

004deb24 Hello EJ. I seem to have

grown a hand sticking out of

my head. Cool isn't it? I hope

my mum isn't angry with me. »Hello EJ. I seem to have grown a hand sticking out of my head. Cool isn't it? I hope my mum isn't angry with me.« ds

004df034 You've found my wig!

Here's an udder. "You've found my wig!\nHere's an udder." ds

004df1ec Thanks for finding my

family. Have a reward "Thanks for finding my\nfamily. Have a reward" ds

004df2c4 I'm missing just one

more of my kids - find my

child and I'll reward you. "I'm missing just one\nmore of my kids - find my\nchild and I'll reward you." ds

004df430 You've found one of

my aquatic squirts - now

find the other two! "You've found one of\nmy aquatic squirts - now\nfind the other two!" ds

004df4e0

Help me find my 3 children.

"\nHelp me find my 3 children.\n" ds

These text files are not used in the game, and tie into the scrapped hub world Childhood, where Jim would have saved a boardwalk in his youth from radiation poisoning, so the text most likely belongs to scrapped missions in that level. One of them requires the player to find an unnamed mom's kids, and one looking for a wig. Now these are cool, but how do these tie to Kim being the mother?

Evidence #2 Voice Lines

Kim has a total of three recorded lines, as so does every boss:

"Remember Jimmy, it's for your own good!" - Intro quote

"Ouch!" -Hit Quote

"I know where you hid those magazines!" - Defeat quote.

Take note of the first and the last quote, as if Kim was intended to be Jim's feminine side this entire time, then why is it in this cadence? All 3 lines are addressed in a motherly delivery (Quite possibly by Linda Wallem), and the last one especially sounds like a quote from a mom.

Evidence #3 The Paintings in Fear

According to the instruction manual, the manor used to belong to Jim's family before Professor Monkey for a Head took it over. So naturally there are paintings of Jim's family. (despite him being an orphan) Including this painting on the wall that I don't feel like taking a clearer picture of because I do not feel like playing Jim 3D again. She looks the most like Kim. Who is this painting on the wall? It never says.

Evidence #4 Star's Magazine Run.

I used to have an Internet friend named Starlight94, and she was the record holder for this game and Tonic Trouble, often going through the trouble of looking for beta content. One was from a magazine that she couldn't refind again that had a picture of Kim and the childhood level with the writer stating that she was Jim's... Girlfriend. I'm going to take a guess that this is a "Cowboy Bebop at his computer" situation because this Miswriting shockingly happens a lot. Especially my favorite: Bonus Bob! But once this page is found it is confirmed that Kim was originally in the childhood area.

Evidence #5 The boxart?

The PC box features this gag review from Jim's Mom, alluding to masturbation

Can't have Earthworm Jim without sex jokes in the marketing

But with this many references to a mother, AND the scrapped dialogue, AND her supposedly appearing in Childhood, it leads me to this theory.

Teddyroo12, Signing off Earthworm Jim No Context, until new content is made.

[reasoningdaily]

African American Museum of Rhode Island shares plans for new initiative

(WJAR) — African American Museum of Rhode Island announced its plans for the future at a press conference on Thursday.

According to event officials, the initial plan to collect oral stories from camp Street Black Providence in the 20th Century. This will be done by youth in the community AAMRI plans to hire.

AAMRI said these oral histories will be recorded, interpreted and distributed to social media.

“Through this museum, not only do we honor the rich cultural heritage and the contributions of African Americans, but also recognize the profound rule of our local communities have played in our stories,” Susan Pires, a board member, said. “From the struggles of the past to the triumphs of the present, Providence and its surrounding areas have been central to our resilience, creativity and growth.”

ALSO READ: As Providence Public Schools deals with an unauthorized access, few details are released

Providence Mayor Brett Smiley spoke at the event held by African American Museum of Rhode Island. (WJAR)

Officials said additional phases will include a showcase and presentation about six community icons museum officials have chosen.

According to AAMRI officials, the group’s ultimate goal is to have an exhibition-style panel display that will tour throughout Rhode Island and permanent structures within neighborhoods with QR codes to celebrate the community’s history.

“The city of Providence is very excited for this initiative,” Providence Mayor Brett Smiley said. “It is a chance to tell those families’ stories, those multi-generational stories, here in Rhode Island and to make sure to particularly exciting for me that the young people in our community understand that they are part of that legacy of their grater family.”

The fundraising is going on now.

[cornley-amateur-drama-society]

Cornley as Classic Christmas Songs

NB: I am counting “Classic” as up to 1965

Annie: “I'll Be Home For Christmas”

Released in 1943 by Bing Crosby, the song was written from the perspective of a WWII soldier who was overseas thinking about his family back home, and wishing he could be with them for the holiday.

Other famous artist who have covered the song include Johnny Mathis, Elvis Presley, and Josh Groban.

Chris: “Please Come Home For Christmas”

Originally written and recorded in 1960, it hit the Billboard Top 100 in '61; made popular by The Eagles in '78

I am linking The Eagles version because I do think it's the most iconic, personally, and it's one of my favorite Christmas songs.

Dennis: “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas”

Written in 1943, Judy Garland sang it in 1944 for Meet Me in St. Louis.

Frank Sinatra covered the song in 1948 with the original lyrics, and then again in 1957 with more upbeat lyrics — the second version, I would argue, is the better-known.

Jonathan: “Here Comes Santa Claus”

The song was recorded (and partially written by) Gene Autry after being inspired by his riding a horse in the Santa Claus Lane Parade, now called the Hollywood Christmas Parade.

The song has been covered by so many artists, including Bing Crosby, Elvis Presley, and the Andrews Sisters.

Lucy: “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree”

Written and recorded in 1958, Brenda Lee was only thirteen-years-old at the time, though her voice does sound much older.

It's not a favorite of mine, but it has that youthful quality that I associate Lucy with.

Max: “Let It Snow”

Written in July of 1945, despite not mentioning any specific holiday, the song has become associated with Christmas due to its winter theme.

The two most popular versions of this classic are by Frank Sinatra (recorded in 1950) and by Dean Martin (recorded in 1959). I've linked the Sinatra version because of the big band element to it.

Robert: “Baby, It's Cold Outside”

Originally written in 1944 by Frank Loesser to sing at parties with his wife Lynn Garland, it wasn't until 1949 that the song was a widespread hit, featuring in the film Neptune's Daughter.

The song was written during a time when it was seen as improper for a single woman to stay over at a bachelor's overnight. The call and response style is a way of him expressing his fears about the weather, and her going, “Well, looks like I'm here for the night! ~~Oh, no~~ ;)”.

Sandra: “The Christmas Song”

Originally written in 1945 by Robert Wells and Mel Tormé, the song was recorded by the Nat King Cole trio the next year.

In 1961, the U.S. Library of Congress selected the song to preserved for being “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant”.

Trevor: “I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm”

Written in 1937 during the big band era of jazz, the song was covered in 1959 with the same sort of big band style by Dean Martin, which is my favorite version.

The song has also been covered by people like Frank Sinatra, Billie Holiday, and Bette Midler among others.

Vanessa: “White Christmas”

Originally written sometime in the early-1940's by Irving Berlin, the orignial Bing Crosby version is the most popular one of the tune.

The song was written for the Christmas movie Holiday Inn (1942) starring Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire.

[ouroboros-hideout]

WIP WHENEVER

@chevvy-yates tagged me for this. Thank you a lot 💚

This will be a huge wall of text aswell, since I am not really of the „visual“ side of creating atm.

Writing // Worldbuilding

I'm still writing the next two chapters for my fanfiction, but would rather briefly introduce my other OCs here (yes, Aon isn´t the only one by now). Maybe I can create all of them ingame at some point, depending on how stupid I´ll act with modding etc. when I start. Since things can change quickly in the story while I'm writing, I wouldn't say that everything is 100% set in stone, a lot of it isn't finished yet. But it's a good base. Most of them appear in my „Like Napalm“ fic. Some of them will be in my main GARMR fic aswell. So prepare for half backed character data entries and some rambling.

Gan

Gan Tomobataar, or Iron as he is usually called, is a mysterious man. Many stories surround the Mongolian giant and it always depends on who asks him whether he affirms or denies these tales. It is therefore uncertain which of them are true or fictional and he really enjoys keeping his past in the dark. He is said to have served in an elite military unit. The metal teeth that earned him his iconic nickname are said to have been lost in numerous boxing matches as he tried to turn pro to make a better life for himself and his family, and he is allegedly a descendant of Ginghis Khan (which is probably one of his favorite rumors). One can assume that his closest confidants have more clarity, but none of them would dare say a word about it. Undeniably true is that he has two brothers, of whom he is the second-born. Together with them, he leads one of the largest nomadic clans in eastern Europe and Asia. The Tomobataar nomads are divided into three large families, each led by one of the three brothers. Iron's family stays mainly in Mongolia and Russia, but he would also travel to more distant parts of the Soviet Union for profitable contracts. He doesn't have many vices, but one of them is definitely greed.

By sheer luck, at least that's what he claimed, he picked up Aon on the street when she was trying to flee Moscow on her own. He promised to protect her from the Secret Police and other bounty hunters if she proved to be a useful member of his clan. However, his methods for testing her worth would put the young woman to the test.

Yakov

Yakov always had problems finding his place in the world. He grew up in St. Petersburg, studying or an education other than working in his father's car repair shop were never an option financially, but the young man always yearned for something greater than being stuck in the alleys and streets of his childhood. He decided to join the military when he was old enough, but was discharged immediately after basic training for insubordination and general unsuitability. What remained for him was to work in his father's garage until he died after a long illness. Yakov tried to keep the store running on his own for a while, but he found it difficult to do good business without proper management and eventually had to sell the store. This was followed by a relatively dark period. He saw himself as a failure, was unable to find a new job and drank away the money he had received for the workshop in the bars in his neighborhood. One evening, a man came into his local pub. His car had broken down outside, he wouldn't get any further that night and kept him company for a few hours. The next day, Yakov repaired his car for the man called Gan and left the town with him to live with the Tomobataar nomads.

Gregori

Gregori's mother, a singer from New York, came to the Russian capital for a gig and met a military officer there. The two got together and the result was little Greg. Shortly afterwards, however, the couple fell apart and she took her son back to America, where he spent most of his childhood and youth being raised by babysitters and nannies, while the singer preferred to spend her time on tour or in the recording studio. Gregori at least inherited much of her creativity, starting to make music himself at an early age and drawing a lot. Just what small children do when they need to keep themselves busy.

When he was 16 years old, his mother died of an overdose. As she never bothered to write down a testament or anything similar, her entire fortune goes to her greedy manager, who leaves Gregori penniless.

The boy, who has spent his whole life sheltered without much contact with the outside world, is left with nothing and doesn't know exactly what to do. So he scrapes together the last of his money and buys a ticket to Moscow, where he tries to find his father, but in vain. He quickly goes off the rails, barely speaks a word of Russian, is recruited by a gang and gets exploited. An arms deal with a group of nomads goes wrong, a shootout ensues and Gegori is the only one left of the gang because he hides instead of fighting. Yakov, who was on the other side of the deal, takes pity on him and eventually takes him to his new family where he tries to find his place within the group.

Anna

Anna grew up with the Tomobataar nomads from an early age. Her parents were killed in a botched mission when she was just four years old. Iron, who in a way blamed himself for this, took on a guardianship for her and looked after the little girl like the apple of his eye. As the years passed and Anna grew older, the relationship between her and her foster father changed. He became increasingly demanding, punished misbehavior and put the still young girl under pressure. Aon, who had already earned her place in the clan by this time, could not tolerate this behavior as she herself had grown up under similar circumstances. No one else in the clan interfered with Iron's "parenting methods", which is why she ended up doing it. Anna and Aon then became inseparable and she naturally followed her later when they left the clan along with many others.

Anatoly

Anatoly, or Tolik as Aon calls him, belongs to the Russian working class in Moscow and cannot claim to own much. As a boy, he dreamed of studying mechanical engineering in order to open his own workshop or business. A dream that his father would never have been able to afford in this life. So after school, Tolik started working at his father's scrap yard on the outskirts of Moscow, not an easy job. He regularly drives into the city to pick up old components and scrap metal from SovOil and other big corporations, where he meets Alyona one day. The two strike up a conversation, exchange banter and hit it off straight away, which over time develops into a teenage love story. Aon spends a lot of time with him at the scrapyard, where she can test and improve her skills on old machines and has a place to hide from her hated stepfather. He, in return, benefits from the knowledge she brings with her from university, and his dream of building his own big thing soon becomes her dream too. Together they consider leaving the city at some point and make plans for the future

unnamed_chromed_up_terrifying_SovOil_Secret_Police_agent

Yea well, I don't know yet how to call him. After Aon has fled Moscow, the officers of the normal police force give up the search for her, as it theoretically no longer falls within their area of responsibility. However, since Kristof claims that Aon stole the data he wanted to sell to Petrochem, SovOil is naturally very interested in finding her and the data chip. So they send a Secret Police agent after her, who, together with a small unit, tries to track her down. He actually already had a kind of "Easter Egg" appearance in my other AU. He would have been the agent sitting next to Kurt if he hadn't switched the cards on the table. Funny how differently things can go. Anyway, he doesn't really have much of a backstory other than he used to work for the KGB and is a bloodthirsty hound dog who chases Aon halfway across the country (spoiler: and finds her). If I were to compare him to another character from movies etc, he would probably have the closest vibe to Hans Landa from Inglourious Basterds. The character was very well written, even though I would probably make my namesless_pig a bit younger than him. But since he'll be pumped full of cyberware anyway, it probably doesn't matter much in the end. It's just supposed to be a fucking horrible character and Aon's nightmare.

Robert Walker

Robert is one of the key-characters in my main fanfiction. I haven't thought about him in depth yet, but the general concept is there. He's a British journalist and photographer who wanted to go high by exposing wrongdoings in society. For him, there is nothing more exciting than achieving "fame and notoriety" as a whistleblower. He's not necessarily stupid or doesn't know what he's doing, he's just unlucky. He gets into trouble with the wrong people and upsets the even worse ones, which is why he has to flee the UK and ends up in NC. There he tries to start over and stay out of trouble. However, he soon develops an "unhealthy" obsession with Kurt Hansen. He is incredibly fascinated by him and spends every free minute in Dogtown so that he can perhaps take a photo (or two, or ten) of his idol. At some point, he goes so far as to seek direct contact and wants to interview him. Kurt is flattered at first, but has little desire to reveal information about himself in some strange blog or gossip magazine. But that didn't stop Robert from continuing to stalk him and even trying to become a member of Barghest. At some point, Hansen got too pissed off and gave him the choice of leaving Dogtown or catching a bullet. Robbie chose the second option. After all, he hadn't forbid him to camp outside the gates of Dogtown, had he?

Technically I could tell something about Aon´s mom and her stepfather too, but I don´t have that much yet. So will keep em for the next WIP together with the other OCs for my main fic. There will be three more. A general, a corpo guy and the last is still up for discussion with my brain. Considering somekind of warlord or a netrunner.

Art

I tried to do something different than a full rendered piece of artwork. I am not yet confinced that I like it. I like, that it was finished really fast lmao but...I dunno.

Aon and Tolik - 2055

But happy that Aon is actually recognizable in the end. During the process she looked so much like So Mi at a point that my brain went: WHO ARE YOU GIRL. But I like the long hair. Will give it back to her in her 2078+ appearance. Not exactly like this, but longer than her normal style.

Not quite sure about Anatoly tho. I mean, he looks like this in my head, but I will reconsidere if he will get some cyberarms. He is poor like a mouse, so probably can´t afford expensive tech like this, but he feels kind of „empty“ without anything.

Congrats and huge thanks if you read this far. Brainrot stronk!

Tagging some ppl aswell. Everyone else is invited too to show off some awesome stuff ofc, no pressure as always!

@blackrevell @olath124 @cyberholic77 @cybervesna @pinkyjulien @theviridianbunny @therealnightcity @wanderingaldecaldo @miss--river @barghestapologist @kdval @streetkid-named-desire @aggravateddurian @androgymess

[dustedmagazine]

Listening Post: Kim Gordon

Kim Gordon has long been one of rock’s female icons, one of a tiny handful of women to get much play in Michael Azzerad’s underground-defining Our Band Could Be Your Life and a mainstay in the noise-rock monolith Sonic Youth. It’s hard to imagine that quintessential dude rock band without Gordon in front, dwarfed by her bass or spitting tranced out, pissed off verses over the storm of feedback.

Yet Gordon’s trajectory has been, if anything, even more fascinating since Sonic Youth’s demise in 2011. A visual artist first — she studied art at the Otis College of Art and Design before joining the band — she continues to paint and sculpt and create. She’s had solo art shows at established galleries in London and New York, most recently at the 303 Gallery in New York City. A veteran of indie films including Gus van Zant’s Last Days and Todd Haynes I’m Not There, she has also continued to act sporadically, appearing in the HBO series Girls and on an episode of Portlandia. Her memoir, Girl in a Band, came out in 2015.

But Gordon has remained surprisingly entrenched in indie music over the last decade. Many critics, including a few at Dusted, consider her Body Head, collaboration with Bill Nace the best of the post-Sonic Youth musical projects. The ensemble has now produced two EPs and three full-lengths. Gordon has also released two solo albums, which push her iconic voice into noisier, more hip hop influenced directions. We’re centering this listening post around The Collective, Gordon’s second and more recent solo effort, which comes out on Matador on March 8th, but we’ll likely also be talking about her other projects as well.

Intro by Jennifer Kelly

Jennifer Kelly: I missed No Home in 2019, so I was somewhat surprised by The Collective’s abrasive, beat-driven sound though I guess you could make connections to Sonic Youth’s Cypress Hill collaboration?

The more I listen to it, though, the more it makes sense to me. I’ve always liked the way Gordon plays with gender stereotypes, and “I’m a Man” certainly follows that trajectory. What are you guys hearing in The Collective?

Jonathan Shaw: I have only listened through the entire record once, but I am also struck by its intensities. Sort of silly to be surprised by that, given so many of the places she has taken us in the past: noisy, dangerous, dark. But there's an undercurrent of violence to these sounds that couples onto the more confrontational invocations and dramatizations of sex. It's a strong set of gestures. I like the record quite a bit.

Bill Meyer: I'm one of those who hold Body/Head to be the best effort of the post-Sonic Youth projects, but I'll also say that it's very much a band that creates a context for Gordon to do something great, not a solo effort. I was not so taken with No Home, which I played halfway through once upon its release and did not return to until we agreed to have this discussion. I've played both albums through once now, and my first impression is that No Home feels scattered in a classic post-band-breakup project fashion — “let's do a bit of this and that and see what sticks.” The Collective feels much more cohesive sonically, in a purposeful, “I'm going to do THIS” kind of way.

Jonathan Shaw: RE Jennifer's comment about “I'm a Man”: Agreed. The sonics are very noise-adjacent, reminding me of what the Body has been up to lately, or deeper underground acts like 8 Hour Animal or Kontravoid's less dancy stuff. Those acts skew masculine (though the Body has taken pains recently to problematize the semiotics of those photos of them with lots of guns and big dogs...). Gordon's voice and lyrics make things so much more explicit without ever tipping over into the didactic. And somehow her energy is in tune with the abrasive textures of the music, but still activates an ironic distance from it. In the next song, “Trophies,” I love it when she asks, “Will you go bowling with me?” The sexed-up antics that follow are simultaneously compelling and sort of funny. Rarely has bowling felt so eroticized.

Jennifer Kelly: I got interested in the beats and did a YouTube dive on some of the other music that Justin Raisen has been involved with. He's in an interesting place, working for hip hop artists (Lil Yachty, Drake), pop stars (Charli XCX) and punk or at least punk adjacent artists (Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Viagra Boys), but nothing I've found is as raw and walloping as these cuts.

“The Candy House” is apparently inspired by Jennifer Egan's The Candy House, which is about a technology that enables people to share memories... Gordon is pretty interested in phones and communications tech and how that's changing art and human interaction.

Andrew Forell: My immediate reaction to the beats was oh, The Bug and JK Flesh, in particular the MachineEPs by the former and Sewer Bait by the latter. Unsurprisingly, as Jonathan says, she sounds right at home within that kind of dirty noise but is never subsumed by it

Jennifer Kelly: I don't have a deep reference pool in electronics, but it reminded me of Shackleton and some of the first wave dub steppers. Also, a certain kind of late 1990s/early aughts underground hip hop like Cannibal Ox and Dalek.

Bryon Hayes: Yeah, I hear some Dalek in there, too. Also, the first Death Grips mixtape, Ex-Military.

It's funny, I saw the track title “I'm a Man,” and my mind immediately went to Bo Diddley for some reason, I should have known that Kim would flip the script, and do it in such a humorous way. I love how she sends up both the macho country-lovin’ bros and the sensitive metrosexual guys. It's brilliant!

This has me thinking about “Kool Thing”, and how Chuck D acts as the ‘hype man’ to Kim Gordon in that song. I'm pretty sure that was unusual for hip hop at the time. Kim's got a long history of messing with gender stereotypes.

Bill Meyer: Gordon did a couple videos for this record, and she starred her daughter Coco in both of them. The one for “I'm A Man” teases out elements of gender fluidity, how that might be expressed through clothing, and different kinds of watching. I found the video for “Bye Bye” more interesting. All the merchandise that's listed in the video turns out to be a survival kit, one that I imagine that Gordon would know that she has to have to get by. The protagonist of the video doesn't know that, and their unspoken moment in a car before Coco runs again was poignant in a way that I don't associate with her work. And of messing with hip hop!

Tim Clarke: “Bye Bye” feels like a companion to The Fall’s “Dr Buck’s Letter.”

Bill Meyer: From The Unutterable? I'll have to a-b them.

Tim Clarke: That’s the one.

Jonathan Shaw: All of these comments make me think of the record’s title, and the repeated line in “The Candy House”: “I want to join the collective.” Which one? The phone on the record’s cover nods toward our various digital collectives — spaces for communication and expression, and spaces for commerce, all of which seem to be harder and harder to tell apart. A candy house, indeed. Why is it pink? Does she have a feminine collective in mind? A feminine collective unconscious? The various voices and lyric modes on the record suggest that's a possibility. For certain women, and for certain men working hard to understand women, Gordon has been a key member of that collective for decades.

Jennifer Kelly: The title is also the title of a painting from her last show in New York.

The holes are cell phone sized.

You can read about the show here, but here's a representative quote: “The iPhone promises freedom, and control over communication,” she says. “It’s an outlet of self-expression, and an escape and a distraction from the bigger picture of what’s going on in the world. It’s also useful for making paintings.”

Gordon is a woman, and a woman over 70 at that — by any measure an underrepresented perspective in popular culture. However, I’d caution against reading The Collective solely as a feminist statement. “I'm a Man,” for instance, is told from the perspective of an incel male, an act of storytelling and empathy not propaganda. My sense is that Gordon is pretty sick of being asked, “What's it like to be a girl in a band?” (per “Sacred Trickster”) and would like, maybe, to be considered as an artist.

It's partly a generational thing. I'm a little younger than she is, but we both grew up in the patriarchy and mostly encountered gender as an external restriction.

As an aside, one of my proudest moments was when Lucas Jensen interviewed me about what it was like to be a freelance music writer, anonymously, and Robert Christgau wrote an elaborate critique of the piece that absolutely assumed I was a guy. If you're not on a date or getting married or booking reproductive care, whose business is it what gender you are?

There, that's a can of worms, isn't it?

Jonathan Shaw: Feminine isn't feminist. I haven't listened nearly closely enough to the record to hazard an opinion about that. More important, it seems to me the masculine must be in the feminine unconsciousness, and the other way around, too. Precisely because femininity has been used as a political weapon, it needs imagining in artistic spaces. Guess I also think those terms more discursively than otherwise: there are male authors who have demonstrated enormous facility with representing femininity. James, Joyce, Kleist, and so on. Gordon has always spoken and sung in ways that transcend a second-wave sort of feminine essence. “Shaking Hell,” “PCH,” the way she sings “I Wanna Be Your Dog.”

Jennifer Kelly: Sure, she has always been shape-shifter artistically.

The lyrics are super interesting, but almost obliterated by noise. I’m seeing a connection to our hyperconnected digital society where everything is said but it’s hard to listen and focus.

Bill Meyer: Concrete guy that I am, I’ve found myself wishing I had a lyric sheet even though her voice is typically the loudest instrument in the mix.

Andrew Forell: Yes, that sense of being subsumed in the white noise of (dis)information and opinion feels like the utopian ideal of democratizing access has become a cause and conduit of alienation in which the notion of authentic voices has been rendered moot. It feels integral to the album as a metaphor

Christian Carey: How much of the blurring of vocals (good lyrics — mind you) might involve Kim’s personal biography, I wonder? From her memoirs, we know how much she wished for a deflection of a number of things, most having to do with Thurston and the disbandment of SY.

Thurston was interviewed recently and said that he felt SY would regroup and be able to be professional about things. He remarked that it better be soon: SY at eighty wouldn’t be a good look!

Andrew Forell: And therein lies something essential about why that could never happen

Ian Mathers: I know I’m far in the minority here (and elsewhere) because I’ve just never found Sonic Youth that compelling, despite several attempts over the years to give them another chance. And for specifically finding Thurston Moore to be an annoying vocal presence (long before I knew anything about his personal life, for what it's worth). So, I’m in no hurry to see them reunite, although I do think it would be both funny and good if everyone except Moore got back together.

Having not kept up with Gordon much post-SY beyond reading and enjoying her book, I wasn’t sure what to expect from this record. After a couple of listens, I’m almost surprised how much I like it. Even though I’m lukewarm on SY’s music, she’s always been a commanding vocal presence and lyricist and that hasn’t changed here (I can echo all the praise for “I’m a Man,” and also “I was supposed to save you/but you got a job” is so bathetically funny) and I like the noisier, thornier backing she has here. I also think the parts where the record gets a bit more sparse (“Shelf Warmer”) or diffuse (“Psychic Orgasm”) still work. I've enjoyed seeing all the comparisons here, none of which I thought of myself and all of which makes sense to me. But the record that popped into my head as I listened was Dead Rider’s Chills on Glass. Similar beat focus, “thick”/distorted/noisy/smeared production, declamatory vocals. I like that record a lot, so it's not too surprising I'm digging this one.

Jennifer Kelly: I loved Sonic Youth but have zero appetite for the kind of nostalgia trip, just the hits reunion tour that getting back together would entail.

Jonathan Shaw: Yeah, no thanks to that.

RE Christian's comment: Not sure I see deflection so much as the impossibility of integration. We are all many, many selves, always have been. Digital communications interfaces and social media have just lifted it to another level of experience. Gordon sez, “I don't miss my mind.” Not so much a question of missing it in the emotional/longing sense, more so acknowledging that phrases like “my mind” have always been meaningless. Now we partition experience and identity into all of these different places, and we sign those pieces of ourselves over, to Zuck and the algorithms. We know it. We do it anyways, because it's the candy house, full of sweets and pleasures that aren't so good for us, but are really hard to resist. “Come on, sweets, take my hand...”

Bill Meyer: I would not mind hearing all of those SY songs I like again, can’t lie, although I don’t think that I’d spend Love Earth Tour prices to hear them. But given the water that has passed under the bridge personally, and the length of time since anyone in the band has collaborated creatively (as opposed to managing the ongoing business of Sonic Youth, which seems to be going pretty well), a SY reunion could only be a professionally presented piece of entertainment made by people who have agreed to put aside their personal differences and pause their artistic advancement in order to make some coin. There may be good reasons to prioritize finances. Maybe Thurston and/or Kim wants to make sure that they don’t show up on Coco’s front door, demanding to move their record or art collection into her basement, in their dotage. And Lee’s a man in his late 60s with progeny who are of an age to likely have substantial student loan debt. But The Community is just the kind of thing they’d have to pause. It feels like the work of someone who is still curious, questioning, commenting. It's not just trying to do the right commercial thing.

Justin Cober-Lake: I’m finding this one to be a sort of statement album. I’d stop short of calling it a concept album, but there seems to be a thematic center. I think a key element of the album is the way that it looks for... if not signal and noise, at least a sense of order and comprehensibility in a chaotic world. Gordon isn’t even passing judgment on the world — phones are bad, phones are good, phones make art, etc. But there’s a sense that our world is increasingly brutal, and we hear that not just in the guitars, but in the beats, and the production. “BYE BYE” really introduces the concept. Gordon’s leaving (and we can imagine this is autobiographical), but she’s organizing everything she needs for a new life. “Cigarettes for Keller” is a heartbreaking line, but she moves on, everything that makes up a life neatly ordered next to each other, iBook and medications in the same line. It reminds me of a Hemingway character locking into the moment to find some semblance of control in the chaos.

Getting back to gender, there’s a funny line at the end: one of the last things she packs is a vibrator. I'm not sure if we're to read this as a joke, a comment on the necessity of sexuality in a life full of transitory moments, as a foreshadowing of the concepts we’ve discussed, or something else. The next item (if it’s something different) is a teaser, which could be a hair care product or something sexual (playing off — or with — the vibrator). Everything's called into question: the seriousness of the track, the gender/sexuality ideas, what really matters in life. Modern gadgets, life-sustaining medicines, and sex toys all get equal rank. That tension really adds force to the song.

Coming out of “BYE BYE,” it's easy to see a disordered world that sounds extremely noisy, but still has elements we can comprehend within the noise. I don’t want to read the album reductively and I don't think it's all about this idea, but it's something that, early on in my listening, I find to be a compelling aspect of it.

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

"It’s more than sales – it inspired an entire generation of young girls to know they had a place in heavy music." Inside Fallen: the album that turned Evanescence into instant 21st century metal superstars

No rock band had an explosive a rise in the 2000s as Evanescence. This is the story of their classic debut album

Evanescence’s Amy Lee was at one of the many awards ceremonies she attended back in the first half of the 2000s when she was approached by a fan. This wasn’t unusual in itself, except this fan happened to be rapper and mogul P. Diddy.

“He said, ‘I love your album, I listen to it when I work out’,” Amy tells Hammer today. “And I was like ‘Really? That’s awesome!’ That was surprising to me. You know who I am? That’s weird.” Weird is right. Just a couple of years earlier, Amy had been a shy, aspiring singer and songwriter who had played no more than a handful of times with the band she’d co-founded as 13-year-old almost a decade earlier. And now here she was, getting star-spotted by hip hop A-listers at swanky awards ceremonies.

“What do they call that thing? Imposter syndrome!” she recalls today. “I definitely felt like I’d snuck in the back door and somehow got to go to the Grammys. Like, ‘I’m not supposed to be here and people do not know who we are and this is a prank.’ I think part of that is just it all happening so fast and being so young.”

The reason for the attention was down to the blockbusting success of Evanescence’s debut album, Fallen. Originally released in March 2003, and about to be reissued as a deluxe 20th anniversary edition, Fallen appeared at the tail-end of the nu metal boom. It offered a gothier, more dramatic take on that sound, which bridged nu metal and both the rising symphonic metal and emo scenes. It would go on to sell more than 10 million copies in the US alone, turning Amy Lee into an icon and role model for a generation of young, female fans.

Amy describes the young, pre-Evanescence version of herself as “a little bit shy”. Earlier this year, she told Hammer’s sister magazine, Classic Rock, that the death of her younger sister, Bonnie, when Amy was six, was a catalyst for “this soul, spirit- searching, expression mode”, which would eventually manifest itself in music. She wrote her first song aged 12, and others quickly followed. “I wrote plenty of songs that were crap,” she says with a laugh. “You just haven’t heard them.”

Things became more serious when she met future Evanescence guitarist Ben Moody in 1994 at a Christian Youth Camp in Little Rock, Arkansas, where her family had moved to a few years earlier. She was 13 and Ben a year older, though the two decided they could make music together. Amy describes their initial endeavours as “more like an electronic duo, like Massive Attack” than an actual band, though some of their early songs would end up on Fallen, including Imaginary, Whisper and My Immortal.

The nascent Evanescence didn’t play a gig for nearly six years, partly because of their youth, and partly because they wanted to concentrate on honing the songs they were writing. “The live part for me at that time just wasn’t my focus,” she shrugs. “I wanted to make stuff.”

Their first release was a self-titled debut EP that came out in 1998 via local label Bigwig, followed by another EP, Sound Asleep, the following year (both featured songs that appeared on Fallen). They’d played a few a low-key acoustic shows in their early days, but their first proper, plugged-in show was at a bar named Vinos in Little Rock on January 2, 1999, less than a month after Amy turned 17.

“It was difficult to be on stage at first,” she says. “I had to really work at being a good performer. I remember the first time we played a gig and four people knew the chorus to one of our dumb little songs,” she adds, self-effacingly trailing off.

It was an early version of My Immortal that caught the attention of Diana Meltzer, head of A&R at Wind-up Records, in 2001. Amy had just enrolled in college to study music theory composition when she got the message that Wind-up were interested in Evanescence - essentially herself and Ben.

“I still wanted to make music, but I was going to study so that maybe one day I could work on film scores as a backup plan,” she says. “We got signed three months in. I had one semester of school. I literally went from graduating high school to moving to LA and making our album in a year and a half.”

Producer Dave Fortman can remember the first time he heard Amy Lee sing Bring Me To Life in the studio. The guitarist in 1990s rockers Ugly Kid Joe pivoted to production after the 1997 break-up of that band, working with the likes of Superjoint Ritual and Crowbar before signing on to produce the debut album by an unknown band from Arkansas called Evanescence. After listening to their demo, he jumped at the chance to work with them. And then came the moment when Amy began singing in the studio.

“Amy was in the booth and this voice just came out,” Dave tells Hammer. “My engineer, who has worked with some of the biggest names in music bar none, turned to me with his jaw on the floor and said, 'Goddamn! This girl can sing.’ You just forgot where you were, you weren’t working anymore, you were just in awe of her. They were the most talented people in their age I’d ever been in contact with.”

The Evanescence that recorded Fallen was Amy and Ben, plus keyboard player/string arranger/co-songwriter David Hodges (who joined the band in 1999) and an array of session musicians, including future Guns N’ Roses/Foo Fighters drummer Josh Freese. Dave Fortman estimates the album cost around $250,000 to make – a sizeable sum now, but relatively modest at a time when seven-figure budgets weren’t uncommon (Korn’s 2002 album Untouchables reportedly cost $4 million). Some of that budget went on the real-life orchestra that Amy insisted on using for many of the songs – a bold move for a new band, when an electronic recreation would have been cheaper.

“None of us were ever going to back down on that,” says Dave Fortman. “It had to be that way or it wasn’t going to work. We recorded the orchestra in Seattle where they have no union, so it was cheaper. If we’d have known it was going to smash in the way it did, hell yeah, we would have just recorded them in LA!”

Evanescence didn’t get everything their way. Bring Me To Life, which addressed Amy’s feelings of numbness while in an abusive relationship,  was augmented by the inclusion of rapper Paul McCoy in an attempt to appeal to the nu metal market - a decision that went  against the band’s wishes. “I was so scared in the beginning that we were going forward with something  that wasn’t a perfectly honest picture of who we were,” Amy told Metal Hammer earlier this year. “But it didn’t last long. After a few songs, the mainstream was able to hear more than the one song and it was like, ‘OK, they at least sort of get what we are.’”

Advance expectations for Fallen were modest when it was released on March 4, 2003. “If it had gone gold [500,000 copies], we’d have A all been delighted with that,” says Dave Fortman. As it turned out, the album smashed it, selling more than 140,000 copies in its first week of release alone and reaching No.7 in the US Billboard charts. Bring Me To Life was a huge factor in that success. Like My Immortal, the song made its first appearance on the big- budget, Ben Affleck-starring Daredevil movie, which hit cinemas a few months before Fallen came out. 

When it was released as a single in its own right, accompanied by an expensive-looking urban-gothic video that saw a nightdress- clad Amy somnambulantly climbing the side of a tower block, like a cross between a character from an Anne Rice novel and a comic book superhero, Wind-up reps had to beg radio stations to play it (“A chick with piano on a rock station?” was a common response). Those that did air it soon found their phone lines jammed with people who wanted to know what it was that they’d just heard. It entered the US Top 10 and did even better in the UK, where it reached No.1.

Bring Me To Life and subsequent singles Going Under and My Immortal put wind in Fallen’s sails. Those 140,000 sales shot upwards at a vertiginous rate: within a month, it had sold more than a million copies in the US alone. By the middle of 2004, it had reached seven million (in 2022, Fallen was awarded a diamond certificate for US sales of more than 10 million). The speed of the ascent left Amy Lee dazed. “There was just so much going on,” she says, exhaling. “I don’t know if I got to focus on it that hard at the time.” 

The label wanted to get Evanescence out on the road to capitalise on that initial success. A touring band was assembled around Amy and Ben – guitarist John LeCompt, drummer Rocky Gray and bassist Will Boyd were recruited to back them. Their rise as a live band was equally dizzying. The day Fallen was released, Evanescence headlined the 200-capacity Engine Room in Houston, Texas. Three months later, they made their first UK appearance playing the Main Stage at the inaugural Download festival, sandwiched between Stone Sour and Mudvayne. Two weeks after that, they returned to the UK to headline a sold-out show at London’s prestigious Astoria.

Inevitably, given the scale and velocity of Evanescence’s success, it didn’t take long for the backlash to kick in. Amy was the focus of much of the criticism, with the barbs ranging from the petty (one magazine questioned her goth credentials) to the outright misogynistic (she was painted as a diva with absolutely nothing to back it up other than the fact she was a woman). Evanescence themselves were perceived by some of their detractors as nothing more than a cynical marketing experiment; the phrase “Linkin Park with a girl singer” appeared a depressing number of times back then, which diminished the decade or so Amy and Ben had invested in their band and music.

“I felt a lot like people wanted to see me fail, especially in the beginning,” Amy says. “I think it’s partially that they want to see if you’re the real thing, and when you shoot up so fast and you have a lot of success really quickly, I think there’s a little bit of a human nature thing that wants to poke a hole in that. I felt on the defence, I felt misunderstood – I’ve got a badass, bitchy look on my face on the album cover, so obviously I must be some kind of bitch.”

Amy was just 21 when Fallen was released, and the criticism took a toll on her. “It was hard as a young person to feel misunderstood,” she reflects today. Things became even more complicated when Ben left acrimoniously in October 2003, just six months after the release of Fallen, with creative differences cited at the time as the reason for the split (in 2010, he admitted to trying to force the singer out of the band they had founded together).

“I felt frustrated,” says Amy. “I wanted to hide a bit in that initial aftermath. People always wanted to attach me to drama, like Ben leaving the band. All of that was trying to be made to make me look bad, like it’s my fault or, ‘Well now it’s going to suck because she didn’t actually do any of the work, obviously all the men behind her did all the writing and the creation.’ It just made me angry a lot.”

The criticism and fractured personal relationships may have been difficult to deal with, but the impact Evanescence had was undeniable. Fallen landed at a transitional time for metal. By 2003, nu metal was on a downward trajectory creatively and commercially, with scene heavyweights Korn and Limp Bizkit both releasing dud albums in the shape of Take A Look In The Mirror and Results May Vary respectively. The New Wave Of American Heavy Metal was bubbling up, but it didn’t possess the same kind of mainstream crossover potential.

Fallen was different. Nu metal may have been in its DNA, but so was goth and electronic music. It was heavy enough for metal fans but it was also dramatic and heartfelt enough to draw in the emo crowd and pop fans alike. The soaring piano ballad My Immortal, with its narrative of a grieving relative haunted by the spirit of the family member they’re mourning, and Going Under, another song detailing the feelings of hopelessness that come from suffering in an abusive relationship, were unquestionably dark, but Evanescence wrapped them up in ear-worm hooks and gothic allure, while Amy’s presence imbued them with a distinctly feminine spirit that was a world away from nu metal’s over-testosteroned aggro.

The broad-church appeal of Fallen was reflected in the range of musicians who garlanded it with praise. Over the years, it’s been cited as an inspiration by everyone from Lzzy Hale and The Pretty Reckless’s Taylor Momsen to pop star Kelly Clarkson. Björk praised Evanescence and so, more surprisingly, did Lemmy, a man not known for his love of goth-tinged ballads.

“They’re fucking excellent,” said the late Motörhead frontman when asked for his view of the band. Even more significant – and noticeable – was the devotion Evanescence, and Amy in particular, almost instantly inspired among fans, especially female ones. The look she sported in music videos, magazine photo shoots and TV interviews – goth-style corsets, black and red eye make-up - was taken up by countless rock club kids up and down the country.

But arguably the most lasting impact Fallen has had is musical. It marked a changing of the guard: not just the end of nu metal, but the beginning of the rise of symphonic metal. Bands such as Nightwish and Within Temptation released albums before Fallen, making sizable waves in mainland Europe, but Evanescence put a distinctly American spin on it, turbocharging symphonic metal’s rise on the back of Fallen’s success. Even now, Amy’s too modest to acknowledge the influence that Fallen had.

“People are always asking me that question: ‘What is it about that album that resonated with people so much?’” she says. “I don’t know. Some of it’s just out of your control. At that age and that time in my life, I don’t think I would have given myself that credit.”

Dave Fortman is far more forthright on the subject. “Did I notice it?!” he says. “How could you not?! That’s what happens when you become, not just a big band, but an icon. She truly changed things. All those symphonic bands that came in their wake? They’re all Amy’s children.”

Fallen helped turn Evanescence into one of the biggest bands of the 21st century. They beat superstar rapper 50 Cent to the award for Best New Artist at the 2004 Grammy Awards (Bring Me To Life also took the trophy for Best Hard Rock Performance). To date, the record has sold more than 17 million copies worldwide – only Adele, Eminem, Norah Jones, Lady Gaga and Linkin Park released albums that have sold more during that time.

Dave calls Fallen “a life- changing album”. He explains: “It’s more than sales – it inspired an entire generation of young girls to know they had a place in heavy music. To show they didn’t have to ever compromise.” It’s a sentiment Amy shares as she looks back at the shy 21-year-old of 2003.

“It was crazy, it was awesome,” she says. “But there was a lot for me that was going on personally, turmoil and relationships within our band. It was just this wild time where so many things that felt huge were happening at the same time. Did it change the musical landscape? I don’t know. But it inspired somebody for something good, it made them walk back from the edge, feel their self-worth in some way. I think it’s truly a gift and a blessing in my life.”

Originally printed in Metal Hammer #381

[spiritsession-arch]

Independent DnD oc

Google Doc Spotify Pinterest

Bio and Rules under cut

Sideblog, follows back from @murderreign!

**Icon border by sibylsource

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Name: Alasdair Greives

Age: 30

Height: 6'4"

Gender: Nonbinary (They/He) (AFAB, but please don’t have your muse know this by default)

Personality: A very animated person with a macabre sense of humor. Can be rather quick to anger and highly defensive when certain nerves are pressed. Doesn’t react well to flirting.

Class: College of Spirits Bard

Species: Dhampir/Satyr

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Strength: 8

Dexterity: 18

Constitution: 13

Intelligence: 12

Wisdom: 11

Charisma: 19

**This character has the Dark Gift from the Ravenloft expansion called Gathering Whispers

You are haunted by spiritual beings, whether the souls of the departed or entities from another plane. Their voices endlessly whisper, taunt, or cajole, sometimes rising to unearthly howls. Only you can perceive the spirits, unless you allow them to speak through you. The spirits are intangible and invisible; anyone who can see invisible creatures sees only fleeting glimpses of these spirits as they haunt you.

Spirit Whispers. You learn the Message cantrip if you don’t already know it, and require no components to cast it. When you cast the spell, the messages are delivered by one of your whispering spirits rather than you or the target’s voice. Your spellcasting ability for this spell is Intelligence, Wisdom, or Charisma (your choice when you gain this Dark Gift).Sudden Cacophony. When you are hit by an attack roll, you can use your reaction to channel your haunting spirits, letting their voices howl through you. If the attacker isn’t deafened, add your proficiency bonus to your AC against that attack, potentially causing it to miss. Once this trait causes an attack to miss, you can’t use the trait again until you finish a long rest.Voices from Beyond. Immediately after you make an attack roll, an ability check, or a saving throw and roll a 1 on the d20, the haunting voices grow too loud to ignore. Roll on the Voices from Beyond table to determine the effect of these voices. Once one of these effects occurs, none of these haunting voices manifest again until you finish a short or long rest.

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This character will involve themes of child neglect, transphobia, sexual assault mentions, fantasy racism (toward dhampirs), references to mental illness in a derogatory manner (only mentioned due to backstory reasons)

The scorned child of a small forest village, their early years were plagued with heartache and emotional neglect. After disappearing into the woods under mysterious circumstances, only to return completely unharmed two weeks later… with claims of being able to speak with the dead the child was promptly outcasted by the rest of the village.

For the remainder of their youth, they were the subject of isolation, bullying and worse from local villagers young and old.

No matter how many times they pleaded with their mother for protection, help, advice, anything, all she would tell them is that ‘if they wanted it to stop then they just needed to shut up and act normal for once’.

During the years since their disappearance, they’d made no attempt to hide their newfound ‘gift’, finding the idea of being able to gain wisdom or even help those who have passed fascinating. The other villagers… clearly didn’t feel the same.

As time moved on Alasdair grew resentful of the villagers, as well as their mother. They began to cling onto their gift, doubling down and convincing themself that they’d been given this gift for a reason. They were chosen for a specific duty, to record and preserve the stories of the dead.

They left the village, and began a journey as a traveling poet, writing down the stories that spirits would tell them and turning them into poetry to share with the world.

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▍ ❝   RULE ONE. Crossover friendly; I prefer rping with fandoms i’m familiar with, but i’m open to those i’m not as well. You’ll just have to excuse me for any mistakes since I won’t be too familiar with your muse or their world.

▍ ❝   RULE TWO. Multiverse/Multiship; All relationships will take place in different verses.

▍ ❝   RULE THREE. Do not force ship; Do not try to force your muse on mine and do not get upset if I happen to say no to your ship. Not every ship is going to work, that’s just how it is.

▍ ❝   RULE FOUR. Mun is 25+; Due to the nature of this character, I will ONLY interact with those that are also 18+.

▍ ❝   RULE FIVE. No godmodding; I control my character, you control yours. Do not have your muse auto-hit mine, or narrate anything happening to my character without discussing it with me first. It’s really quite infuriating and can leading to a lot of things happening to my character that my character should have reasonably been able to get out of or would be generally ooc.

▍ ❝   RULE SIX. I am generally pretty quick with replies. I usually respond within 3 days, a week at most. If I take longer then that it means i’m probably busy with other blogs and haven’t checked in. Feel free to send in message if i’ve gone a week without replying and you see me still being active. I might have missed your reply or ask somehow.

▍ ❝   RULE SEVEN. Triggers; Due to the nature of Alasdair's backstory there will be prominent themes of Death, Ghosts, Violence, mentions of SA, PTSD, Mentions of Transphobia, Suicidal Ideology, and more.

[mannytoodope]

Paul Gustave Simonon (born 15 December 1955) is best known as the bassist for the band The Clash. Six months after meeting bandmate Mick Jones in 1976, he would join him and punk legend Joe Strummer to form The Clash; he still really didn’t know how to play the bass that well, which is why he smashed his bass out of frustration in which he shows him on the iconic cover of The Clash’s album London Calling, smashing the bass. I had a poster of it on my wall in my youth as his bass-playing skills improved. Simonon would go and play on a majority of The Clash’s songs. His ska and reggae-influenced sound set him apart from other bassists in punk music at the time. He made the band’s name and visual aspects, such as the stage background art. The band ended in 1986, and Simonon started Havana at 3 am. The band recorded one album before breaking up. Simonon continued to work with various artists and went back to creating art. In 2003, The Clash was inducted into the classic album. I always considered him the “tender-hearted tough guy” of The Clash. to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. He joined other bands that probably looked up to him, playing bass for them. Simonon still plays an essential part in punk music

[bigforeheadbaddie]

The Black History of No Doubt 🖤🤍

In 1986, Eric Stefani and John Spence met and bonded over their love of the anti-racist UK ska movement while working at their local Dairy Queen.

With John on lead vocals and Eric on keyboard, they formed Apple Core. Which was later changed to No Doubt after Spence’s frequent use of the term became an inside joke for the group.

John Spence (Traci Vicars Brown)

This catchphrase also spawned an early track of the same name with Eric’s little sister Gwen Stefani and John Spence on vocals.

Gwen Stefani and John Spence (Traci Vicars Brown)

Spence was most notably known amongst early No Doubt fans for his infectious energy and on-stage back flips. Wherever Spence went, the rowdy youth of Orange County followed.

In the lead up to one of their biggest shows yet, the members of No Doubt were blindsided at the news of Spence’s untimely death.

On December 21st, 1987, John Spence had passed from a self inflicted gun wound at just 18 years old.

The band was devastated and played their show at the Roxy as a final goodbye, not only to John, but to the band he had co-created.

Early No Doubt Lineup Featuring John Spence

However, after deep thought and a break from the music, they ultimately decided that in the spirit of John and his love for music, that they’d continue on. Their first song without Spence being a tribute titled “Dear John”

“You're singin' in a band with a mic on in your hand

The way that you would sing really made me feel all grand

You left your friends alone, right upon this earth

I wish you would've seen how much life was worth…”

John Spence (Eric Keyes)

With Gwen Stefani still too timid to take over full time, trumpet player Alan Meade stepped up to take the space John Spence had once occupied.

Like Spence, Meade became quickly know for his amazing stage presence and spirit. With Meade and time, Gwen Stefani began to break out of her shell.

Alan Meade and Gwen Stefani

Although often mistaken for Spence in images and videos of live performances, Meade was so much more than simply a “replacement” for Spence.

Much of Gwen’s later vocalizations are adaptions of Meade’s choices in demo tapes of songs such as “Boucing Shoes”, “Get A Life”, and “Doormat” to name a few.

Another black performer that deeply influenced Gwen’s vocal style was ska icon and lead singer of The Selecter, Pauline Black

Pauline Black of The Selecter

Alan Meade’s time as the lead singer of No Doubt was short lived as the news of his then girlfriend’s teen pregnancy in 1988 led to his departure. He left the group to focus on his family, yet would regularly make surprise appearances at their shows and perform with them for a song or two.

The members of No Doubt and Alan Meade have stayed connected throughout the years and he eventually went on to join members of Save Ferris in the creation of a new ska group known as Starpool.

Gwen Stefani and Alan Meade during the Tragic Kingdom Era

In the early 90’s, Gabrial McNair and Stephen Bradley would join No Doubt as backing vocals and the “horn section” of the final lineup.

McNair and Bradley, often seen as a team, have maintained their musical relationship with Stefani the longest out of all the other members of No Doubt.

1998 MTV Music Video Awards

Being a part of her backing artists since the early 90’s with No Doubt and through all of her solo efforts as well.

The pair still performs with her to this day and are often not included in descriptions of No Doubt’s lineup, but all fans know that they are just as vital as the rest of them to the band’s massive success.

Gabrial McNair has also toured with Green Day, co-founded Olso in 2005, composed music for film & TV, and worked with multiple artists in-studio.

Stephen Bradley too has toured with Green Day, Smashing Pumpkins, and Steel Pulse. He has also released solo work and is a talented photographer/videographer as well.

‘Rock Steady’ Jamaica Recording Sessions Crew

For their fifth album, Rock Steady, the band desired a Jamaican dance hall inspired sound, collaborating with numerous local artists/legends.

Including Bounty Killer, Lady Saw, Sly Dunbar, and Robbie Shakespeare (Sly & Robbie), to name a few.

This also marked the beginning of a lifelong musical partnership and friendship between Pharrell Williams (of The Neptunes at the time) and Gwen Stefani.

Gwen Stefani & Pharrell Williams for Vibe Magazine 2005 (Albert Watson)

In addition to the impressive list of collaborators on Rock Steady, the band also worked with one of Stefani’s greatest inspirations and favorite artist, Prince.

In the same year, she got to return the favor and provide backing vocals on his 2001 track “So Far, So Pleased”

“He was such a genius that you can’t believe he existed. I was onstage with No Doubt in Minneapolis in the Nineties, and I saw his silhouette in the audience. I was like, ‘How is this happening?’”

Gwen Stefani on Prince, Rolling Stone Magazine 2016

Since the band’s initial breakup, Stefani has collaborated with artists like Eve, Dr. Dre, Saweetie, Fetty Wap, Slim Thug, Andre 3000, Snoop Dogg, Akon, and most recently Shenseea on Sean Paul’s “Light My Fire”

Without the insurmountable talent of all of the artists covered in this post, No Doubt would not be the band it is today. The influence Black musicians have had on members of the band (of all racial backgrounds) is evident in their discography and should be recognized.

I wrote this post in hopes of highlighting the often forgotten side of No Doubt and to celebrate Black History Month, but every month is a good month to recognize Black excellence :) Thanks for reading!