#reason i do youtube
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i really like that one tiktok
#Hi guys its me Beeduoo on tumblr#alliumduo#cranboo#ctommy#i actually saw the tiktok on youtube shorts first im an unironic youtube shorts user😭😭#I IMMEDIATLEY THOUGHT OF THEM TOO Dream smp you will never leave my mind#Sorry i was gone for like twenty years i got really into aphmau for like the fourth time in my life I'm rewatching mystreet in school with#my friend Chronologically its going awesom we're on Llp Bro pdh was Insane#I FW EIN AND KAI IDGAF idk WHAT THE HELL EIN DOES later but i still like him AND KAI WAS A VICTIM OF BAD WRITING OMFGG IT MAKES ME SO MAD#That migbt be a hot take idk i only ever see Hate for them but like Kai especially i feel like jess just wrote them to be Stupid and weird#out of nowhere just to give aph a reason to go back to aaron the date thing WAS SO STUPID ok sorry for the side tangent#that was part of it but its mainly im just a Senior im Eighteen years old now and it sucksss when u get to this age i didnt draw for MOTNHS#in general bc of college apps all of that ughhh so ANNOYING imma be real im not even done yet i still have to do fafsa scholarships oh my#Damn god I STILL LOVE MY FAVS i would like to draw More again thank u i Love tumblr love these Tags i love to talk bye
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i have one video i've been wanting to make about a certain splatoon lore topic so badly for some years now and i wanna do it soon. but every time i think about it i can feel myself going insane. there's so much i need to say. how do i structure this in a way that makes sense. does it even make sense at all. to me? god help me
#rassicas speaks#spoilers: yep its the water thing.#stares haggardly at mirror with my hands white knuckle gripping on the sides of the bathroom sink. splashes water in my face#i feel like ive cracked open a fucking conspiracy. ITS ALL CONNECTED ITS ALL FUCKING CONNECTEDDDDD I FEEL INSANE#stares at my corkboard with strings. punches wall#the water weakness is not as stupid and disjointed as everyone thinks and i have to prove it.#the disconnect between the west and JP in terms of acceptance of the water weakness lore is fucking insane#there's a video from a edutainment quiz youtuber in JP. not a splatuber mind you. that talks about osmosis and how it connects to inklings#the canon explanation mind you. this video has a million views!!!#a million fucking views!! its a video for casuals!! everyone knows inklings canonically die in water and the reason is related to osmosis!!#meanwhile if you bring up the concept of inklings dying in water on the western side with hopes to theorize according to canon lore#and i will. present the dev interview that outright confirms the reason is related to osmosis.#u know what happens. um actually they only die in fresh water! um no they dont die in water they just cant swim! DO U KNOW HOW INSANE I FEE#jp side has been speculating on how the osmosis thing actually works on inkling biology for years#and the english side cant even get over the hurdle that the water weakness is like. real undeniable canon#like i get that info is less accessible here. as i will prove. in my video eventually.#but holy fuck it makes me crazyyyyy when i actually do present stuff and ppl cover their ears anyway. this has happened a lot.
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Dear person on the bus this morning with the Dracula quote tattoo whose phone was open to my youtube channel, sorry I pretended not to notice and also was too shy to say hello
#what does one say??? 'oh! I happened to glance at your phone and I see my youtube thumbnails!'?#also I'm SO SO CLOSE to finishing the shirt video I swear it's coming soon!!#I need to finish adding the music and pictures and also do the written version of the tutorial that I've been neglecting#alas I can't post the video until I finish the blog posts because I say in the video that I have a full written tutorial#actually the tattoo Might not have been for Dracula quote reasons because it was 'Denn die Todten reiten schnell' but idk
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people who add non-autogenerated subtitles to videos are the most attractive people on this planet and allowed to steal one (1) thing from my home. including a kiss
#if they’re competently done and timed well it can be open mouth#I love subtitles#i say ‘yippee!! yeehaw!’ and dance a little jig whenever I can watch a video with closed captioning on#NOT autogenerated subtitles though. proper ones#if you have a budget for a youtube video there is no reason to not add subtitles.#yes it’s time consuming but you can pay a professional to caption them. OR do it yourself#also if you deliberately turn off autogen captions and don’t supply a sufficient replacement then I get to steal something from your house#and it will not be a smooch. but it might be violent#auditory processing disorder#APD#disabilities#hoh#deaf#youtube#subtitles#shut up riley
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[Yes this is a reference to that one superman pic]
Transcript:
*sniff sniff* Is-is that a boy I smell?
*sniff sniff* Mmh yes, I smell it! Boy Smell!
I smell a boy!
Ah! what is a boy doing here?!
Oh my gosh. What am I gonna do? There's a boy here!
I'm freaking out so much!
Calm down, calm down! Calm down and take a nice deep breath.
*sniff sniff* Mmph it smells so good. I love boy smell so much!
It makes me feel so amazing~
I'm getting tingles all over from the delicious boy scent!
IT'S DRIVING ME BOY CRAZY.
Audio source
#gabriel ultrakill#ultrakill#im so fucking sorry#i found this clip posted separately to youtube a long time ago and only recently found the source#this stupid clip is one of the reasons i made this account....... i had to let the people know.#this is . perhaps. one of the most canon quotes. to ever be posted.#authors note: i do not actually enjoy boy smell please do not sniff in my inbox. im so scared.#queued post im in another country rn
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saying this as respectfully as possible but. Do not put fandom content creators on a pedestal. We are also just fans contributing to a community just as you are. We have boundary on our own work and that’s it. What I say is not and should not be considered sth the whole fandom should listen to. I’m just a normal ass person ranting about things on my blog. If it does not have a fandom tag for others to engage in, do not make it out to be me trying to start fights or addressing the whole community. Because it’s not.
I’ve said it before and I will say it again, my art, my lore talk, is biased. I’ve never tried to hide that I view Marika a certain way and will always develop my theory following that base assumption.
Aside from translation stuffs and pointing out in-game items, everything else I say you can look at it, agree or disagree, and move on to form your own opinions. Just because I draw stuffs doesn’t mean you get to saddle me with responsibilities about managing fandom expectations. What the hell? I’m a fan artist, I’m the last person who you should look at for “leaderism” (?) WHAT?
I can and will be a hater in my own space, like I know sometimes other artists will just post their stuffs and not engage too heavily with fandom, and for a while I did try to do that here (because I’m already a dramatic ass on twitter), that’s just not me though.
You will get art and you will get my opinions as well.
#asking ppl to [celebrate different takes] is... WHAT?#different takes as in well I think she likes apples and you think she likes grapes. yeah that’s some fun discussion to be have#but different takes as in the fundamental of a character’s drive and personality??? NO#let’s put that down very clear here#I can still read fics where Marika is cold and calculate and manipulative as long as I can see there’re layers to it and the author#set it up in a way that I can see they got her backstory and build those layers based on that#and then there are ppl who literally only portray her as omg evil girlboss 101 let’s blame everything on this cardboard character#then I click back.#and there r ppl who might not vibe with how i portray her and they can ignore me. THAT'S OK TOO. we r in our own space.#it’s as simple as that!#ever since the dlc is out i literally could see the amount of ppl blocking me go up and im just “ok” because i do go around muting ppl too.#that's normal fandom space managing experience. pls do that#lore discussion is for ppl to engage in so u say ur piece i say mine and we can continue or not depending on situation#but FANWORK? leave each other alone or be a hater in ur own space ok?#personal#also where are these ppl who have been defending Marika at... because if u exclude me#and some others i can count on one hand. where are these ppl?#ppl saying headass stuffs about the HS aren't even Marika fans or engage too much in fandom to begin with#meanwhile u can't even find one youtube lore essay that says anything good about her#ppl are even trying to give Messmer's mother position to GEQ for no goddamn reason#like where is this overwhelming support for Marika at cuz as the active Marika stan around im not seeing it
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I… do not understand tumblr live. Like, are there actually only about 50 people streaming across the whole platform at any one time? And why are so many of them just… people smoking? Or unoccupied desks? And why is nobody talking about frogs?
#live#tumblr live#it occurs to me that the reason there are so few streamers is that I am in the wrong timezone#but honestly even off-peak 50 streamers is embarrassing numbers#look I might do an AMA sometime#but there is a very low chance that it will be on tumblr live#so far most livestreaming I've done has been on facebook and/or instagram#but those platforms both really suck for it#so I am not sure which platform I will use#suggestions are welcome#I have also dabbled with youtube#and once tried twitch#might try tiktok sometime#but it's not great on all these platforms without existing follower counts#these are the ramblings of a tumblr old#his continuing mission:#to teach you about strange and wonderful animals#to seek out new frog lovers and teach them fun facts#to try to understand why tumblr is worse than before
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[Blank Scripts AU]
youtube
The Narrator [Black] and reality-warping.
#tsp blank scripts au#sorry for using a youtube link instead of putting a video in the post.#tumblr is very iffy with videos. for some reason it completely erases my video drafts#so a message will keep telling me “video is processing” even though theres nothing there so i cant even get to the post to delete it#tumblr is unbearably buggy and unusable lmaoo#anyway back to the post#ive had this concept in my head for a while but i havent had the proper time and energy to animate it#its the Narrator [Black] doing reality-warping#i wish i had enough time motivation and free time to animate just how vast this kind of power can get ahh but noo#so it's just this i guess#tsp au#the stanley parable#the stanley parable ultra deluxe#tsp#tspud#tsp narrator#narrator tsp#tsp animation#my drawing museum#Youtube
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Eta on the YouTube video? No rush, just exchange
im gonna be honest man please do not count on me here lmao. my follow through rate for these projects is like 5%. real ones remember gourdquest and other related failed projects i came close to the sun on. if i succeed it will be huge for me on a genuine personal level and it will be the first time i've finished a creative project at all in years but if i do not. neither you nor me should be surprised
#lichens#yeahhh not gonna lie#the reason ive never added like a ko-fi or anything to this blog is because i see my dim reflection in a million failed internet projects#i almost added a ko-fi once and actually got a couple donations but i refunded them and closed it because i was like. no. this wont work#my dream job would indeed be to be a youtube essayist that talks about plant topics#but im at my most reliable as like. a capitalism worker clocking in and out at a set time at the work location lol#this is also why i have not gone back to grad school yet lmao like i just do not trust myself not to deviate from the set topic#also im starting my EMT classes and jobs very very very soon so i was trying to get it done before that but as the time comes i go o. oh no
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[CN] Li Zeyan’s Candlelight Date (Eng Translation)
⌚Warning⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for a date, 烛火之约, that is yet to be released on the global server! ♡
[Translation Under the Cut]
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
【Subbed Video】
youtube
─────────────
【Chapter 1】
After being stuck in traffic for over forty minutes on the way to the airport, I slam on the brakes once again, staring in despair at the unmoving stream of cars ahead.
The weather outside is gloomy, the sky overcast with heavy dark clouds, and the wind howls through the crevices of the car windows.
Even though the evening has barely fallen, the sky is already darkened completely.
MC: Feels like it’s gonna be pouring hard...
MC: I don’t know if Li Zeyan’s flight has been affected.
Just as I am about to look up the flight information, his call comes in.
LZY: I’ve arrived.
MC: That’s great! It looks like there’s gonna be a heavy downpour outside, so thank goodness you landed on time.
MC: On the downside, though, I’m stuck in traffic...
LZY: Given the weather, I could guess that already.
LZY: Don’t rush, safety first. Turn on your headlights and take your time.
MC: Don’t worry, I promise to follow the traffic rules~ So, I must apologize to CEO Li and ask him to wait for me a little longer~
LZY: No worries, I’ll just take this time to think about what to make for Pudding.
The day Li Zeyan is returning from his business trip also happens to be Pudding’s birthday, and we’ve planned to have a small celebration at home.
As I picture Li Zeyan making a birthday cake for the little kitten, the corners of my lips involuntarily curl upwards.
MC: Pudding’s parents are so thoughtful! The little birthday boy is blessed with the luck of tasty treats today.
MC: Rest assured, I’ll definitely get you to Pudding safely and in one piece.
LZY: With a certain someone “braving the wind and waves” to come pick me up, I’m already luckier than those who can’t get a cab.
MC: Hehe, this time it’s my turn to be the prince who cuts their way through thorns and thistles to rescue the sleeping princess!
LZY: Well, it seems like I’ll have to wait a hundred years then.
MC: ...you just told me to take my time.
A soft chuckle transmits from the other end of the phone, and carried by the car’s stereo, it spreads through the entire space, giving me the illusion as if he is right next to me.
LZY: It’s not contradictory.
LZY: Even if it takes you a hundred years, I’ll still wait.
–
──────
[Tidbits]: This conversation here is a reference to one of Li Zeyan’s earliest ASMRs, “Sleeping Beauty,” where LZY said in response to MC’s question that if he were the prince, he wouldn’t let the girl he loves wait a hundred years. Whereas, in the reverse scenario here, he tells you that if he were the sleeping princess and you the prince, he would gladly wait a hundred years (இдஇ; ) though, for a man who literally did wait 17+10000(*n) years for you— a hundred years is, well, still unbearable to think about ahah (ノಥ益ಥ)
–
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
【Chapter 2】
I park the car near the exit, and as soon as I look up, I see Li Zeyan walking towards me, dragging his suitcase.
I immediately push open the car door and run up to him, throwing myself into his arms as hard as I can. Both his hands are occupied by luggage, and I collide against him so hard that he staggers back a few steps.
His familiar scent wraps around me securely, instantly dispelling all the tension and fatigue from the road. I nuzzle against his chest contentedly, earning a soft chuckle from above my head.
LZY: Why the lack of courtesy right off the bat?
MC: I haven’t seen you for days, and I’ve made our big busy person wait so long. I can’t afford to be polite anymore.
Li Zeyan smiles, lets go of the luggage, and draws me into his arms, lowering himself to rest his head on my shoulder.
A soft sigh sounds next to my ear, and I sense how exhausted he is. I put aside my playful thoughts and stroke the back of his head.
MC: I hoped you could get some rest after getting off the plane, but I didn’t expect this weather…
MC: I’ll head out earlier next time!
LZY: You already got here much faster than I expected.
LZY: Let’s go, there’s a birthday boy waiting at home. It’s raining hard outside; I’ll drive on the way back.
┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✄ ┈┈┈┈┈┈
As we head home, rain begins pouring down in torrents. Even with the wipers operating at their highest speed, the visibility only clears for a fleeting moment.
Through the impenetrable curtain of rain, the emergency lights of nearby vehicles flicker faintly. The water pooling on the ground reflects the surroundings like mirrors, and the streets have transformed into an utterly bizarre kaleidoscopic labyrinth.
I hold up my phone to record the scene outside the window when suddenly, a blinding flash of lightning splits the sky not far away, followed by a rolling thunder approaching from the distance, pressing closer and closer.
I can’t help but shrink my neck and set my phone down.
MC: This weather is just ridiculous… I’m sure today’s Moments posts are gonna be flooded with candid shots of the rainstorm.
LZY: A certain someone has made significant strides.
LZY: A few years back, you would get so nervous in this kind of weather that you’d grab onto other people’s clothes. Now, you'd just make a fuss about it on Moments.
MC: Huh? When did I grab onto your clothes?
I turn my head to look at him with a puzzled expression. Li Zeyan glances at me, and before he can even speak, a smile creeps onto the corners of his lips.
LZY: That time when you asked me if I dared to like you.
I freeze for a second, the familiar feeling of nervousness and anticipation surging to the forefront of my mind.
Memories flood back along with the warmth of my cheeks, as I’m reminded of a similar night in the past mirroring this raging storm.
The pitch-black darkness that descended after the power outage was so thick that one wouldn’t even be able to make out their own hand in front of them. I felt like danger, and the unknown would swallow me whole at any moment. But he was there with me, accompanying me for what felt like an eternity on that apocalyptic night.
Back then, I felt like I couldn’t handle it on my own, so I wanted to cling to a straw, to hold onto this steady and exceptionally gentle person beside me.
Snapping out of the reminiscence, I clear my throat to dispel my embarrassment.
MC: Y-You don’t need to remember such things so clearly!
MC: But come to think of it, ever since I met you, I don’t seem to have gotten rained on much.
MC: Even if I forget my umbrella or can’t catch a ride, you always manage to “scoop” me up right on time.
LZY: So, as a result, a certain someone has developed the bad habit of not checking the weather forecast before going out?
MC: …It clearly taught me the good habit of how to “scoop” people up in crucial moments!
The car stops at the intersection, waiting for the traffic light. Li Zeyan casts a glance my way, his lips curving into a smile as he strokes my head.
LZY: Given that the person “scooping” me up is also the one I want to see, it does feel pretty good.
His warm palm rests on my head for a moment before sliding down to my cheek with yearning. A small sense of satisfaction leaps in my heart, and I smile, poking his cheek.
MC: I think I can understand why the prince braves countless perils to reach the princess.
MC: For this moment right now, I’m willing to endure any hardship~
–
──────
[Tidbits]: The call-back of the apocalyptic night is from one of Li Zeyan’s earliest dates, “Doomsday Date,” where MC asks him if he’d dare to like her and if he’d dare to be by her side even if doomsday arrived – and the rest, as they say, is history, quite literally in this case ahah~ (இдஇ; )
–
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
【Chapter 3】
“Bzzz!”
As I step through the doorway and flip the switch for the pendant lamp, to my surprise, the light flickers and then abruptly goes out.
The inside of the house is instantly taken over by the dimness from outside the windows. Pudding, who was originally crouching at the door to welcome us, lets out a yelp and scurries under the table.
My mind automatically starts concocting a horror movie scenario, and I immediately step back a few paces.
MC: What did the power suddenly go out? It was perfectly fine before I left...
My words are barely out of my mouth when a series of extremely bright streaks of lightning flash outside the window.
The howling gale rattles the window frames, while the water pipes exposed to the downpour on the side of the building, pelted by large raindrops, are making peculiar noises.
The continuous flashes of lightning project the wildly swaying shadows of the trees onto the floor, making the storm outside seem even more terrifying.
Li Zeyan sighs and steps forward, taking hold of my hand that is frozen in mid-air.
LZY: Are there any spare lights or flashlights in the house?
MC: Yes, there are, in my room...
While saying this, I clutch Li Zeyan’s arm and carefully start walking towards my room. A hand reaches out and pulls me into a familiar embrace.
LZY: Wasn’t a certain someone “scooping people up” pretty amazingly just now? Why are you so nervous now that we’re home?
MC: ...I guess I’ve been overdoing it with the horror movies lately, and the after-effects are still a bit strong.
I laugh awkwardly and, relying on the dim light of the flashlight, dig out a large, bulging bag from the storage box.
MC: Rechargeable desk lamps, some decorative fairy lights, and lanterns.
MC: They should work if we plug them into the power bank.
LZY: ...That’s it?
MC: They can provide light and serve as tools to set the ambiance. Isn’t that wonderful?
Li Zeyan turns on a palm-sized rechargeable desk lamp and releases a small sigh.
LZY: In that case, the gift I brought you can also be included to make up the difference.
MC: Huh? What gift?
Li Zeyan rummages through his suitcase, takes out an exquisitely wrapped box, and gestures for me to open it.
I lean in closer and find a very charming candle holder with a glass cover nestled inside.
MC: It’s so beautiful! As expected, CEO Li’s eye for things can never go wrong.
LZY: Simultaneously doing the job of adding flowers to the brocade and delivering charcoal in snowy weather一 it definitely seems to be maximizing its value.
LZY: Come on, let’s go and light up all the lamps that we can use first.
┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✄ ┈┈┈┈┈┈
With me “lending a hand” by holding the flashlight through the entire process, dinner and Pudding’s salmon cake are soon prepared.
Pudding, who had been hiding in the corner this entire time, also forgets his fear under the temptation of delectable food and begins prancing around again.
After eating and drinking to our fill, I sit on the carpet with another small blanket, light a scented candle, and carefully set it in the candle holder Li Zeyan gifted me.
Li Zeyan then casually plops down at the foot of the bed where I’m leaning, naturally stretching out his arm for me to use as a pillow.
I look at Pudding grooming his fur not far away and can’t help but sigh with emotion.
MC: Time sure flies! Pudding has grown another year older. I wonder what progress he’ll make this year.
LZY: He wasn’t very brave when he was younger, but now he, too, looks after the house on his own and appears to be fairly calm and composed.
MC: Why did you use “too“? I suspect you’re insinuating something about someone else.
LZY: Just stating facts.
LZY: The way a certain someone acted when she walked into the house earlier didn’t exactly resemble the “prince“ who came to pick me up.
I glance again at the flashes of lightning and thunder rolling outside again, scratching my cheek awkwardly.
MC: The house just went dark all of a sudden; I wasn’t mentally prepared.
LZY: What about now?
LZY: Are you still scared?
I turned sideways to watch him. The dancing candlelight paints his side profile in a warm glow, and the subtle fragrance of the scented candle melds into his calm gaze, making me gradually relax.
I hug his arm and pull him into my arms, beaming a wide smile at him.
MC: I have my “fragrant princess“ in my arms now, and I fear neither getting swept by wind nor being battered by rain any longer. [3]
LZY: Are we sure about who’s in whose arms?
MC: Does it really make a difference who’s in whose arms?
Li Zeyan gives me a look that says “whatever you say,” and I smile victoriously at having my way before turning to glance at the pitch-black darkness outside the window.
The small lights in the room are mirrored on the glass, reminiscent of stars, blurring into a cluster of halos by the unrelenting rain.
Serenity and turmoil are separated by only a wall. I grasp his wrist and tilt my head, pillowing into his palm and nuzzling against it.
MC: Luckily, you came back today. Otherwise, I would have definitely dragged you into “simmering a pot of telephone congee” with me all night long. [4]
LZY: That wouldn’t have been too bad either.
MC: Well, that’s true, but it would have made me seem like I haven’t grown at all...
I raise my head and look into his slightly puzzled gaze, feeling a little embarrassed as I lower my voice.
MC: I’m clearly not a child anymore, and many of the things I used to fear shouldn’t be a big deal now.
MC: Yet when running into situations where I’m not entirely confident, I can’t help feeling a little afraid.
MC: For instance, a pitch-dark empty house, not being able to find the kitten, and a thunderstorm that I don’t know when will end.
MC: I still can’t seem to be like you, to be able to keep myself from thinking the worst regardless of the kind of situation I’m confronted with...
I soliloquize in a whispered tone, and the palm I’m resting my head on suddenly moves. I look up, and my fingers are immediately swept up in a reassuring warmth.
Li Zeyan is pillowing himself on my bolster, covered by a blanket that is clearly not big enough for him, creating for a rather comical scene. Yet, I find myself solely captivated by his extraordinarily serious gaze.
He quietly watches me like this for some time before finally opening his mouth to respond.
LZY: Then just be afraid.
MC: ...Huh?
LZY: Building courage doesn’t mean you should be absolutely fearless.
LZY: If you have no reaction to the unknown and uncontrollable, that, on the contrary, is dangerous.
LZY: For a dummy, knowing how to dodge in the right direction at a critical moment is also progress.
He strokes the back of my hand meaningfully, and I clasp his fingers even more tightly in tacit understanding.
In moments of fear and anxiety, I always want to hold onto something, to reassure myself that I’m not facing it alone.
And this man in front of me, as fortune would have it, always happens to be within my reach, catching my insecurities and leading me along slowly.
I think back to the first time I “grabbed onto” him, the gentleness in his tone that I had rarely seen, and I can’t help but laugh.
MC: Well then, it seems I’ve been making progress since the first time I grabbed onto your clothes.
LZY: Mm-hmm, it hasn’t been easy.
MC: But I can only advance a little bit at a time. I’ve kept you waiting for so long.
The corners of his lips curl up slightly, and his eyes, sparkling with a smile, gently embrace me.
LZY: This isn’t work; nobody is asking anything from you.
LZY: If you’re afraid, just light up a lamp.
–
──────
[Tidbits]
[3] LI ZEYAN WRITERS!!! CRIES AT THE SACRIFICE I HAD TO MAKE AND HOW THE BEAUTY OF THE WORDPLAY JUST GETS LOST IN TRANSLATION HERE 😭 anywho, as you might’ve already noticed, “rescuing the sleeping princess“ theme and the “seeming“ role reversal has been one of the running themes of this date. The term used here is 软香 (lit. meaning soft fragrance), which is usually used to refer to the delicate scent of a woman or a woman in general and, in the context of the times, a palace beauty. The full term MC uses here is 软香在怀 (lit. meaning having ‘soft fragrance’ in one’s arms), which also conveys a deep emotional closeness, a sense of security and comfort as scent is something very sensitive. What the writing does here is kill three birds with one stone— (i) conveying MC’s “prince and princess role reversal“ quip, while also delivering the emotions of the candlelight monologue two sentences prior, i.e., (ii) the fragrance melding into his calm gaze, the vivid imagery of her sensitivity to his presence itself, (iii) the reassuring effect of his being.
[4] I’m gonna cry; this is such an adorable expression haha 😭 the term MC uses here is “煲电话粥,” which really does mean “simmering telephone congee.” The idea of it is to have a marathon phone call with sb, but it’s more intimate— similar to how simmering sth can take a long time and porridge essentially is a comfort food 😂
–
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
【Chapter 4】
The night is dark, and the rain seems to have weakened a bit. I hug the blanket and squeeze onto the small bed with Li Zeyan. No matter in which position we lay down, most of our bodies are pressed against each other.
I watch the person beside me becoming a part of the scene I’ve been familiar with since my childhood days, and for a long time, I find myself unwilling to close my eyes.
MC: It feels so surreal to have you and Pudding together at my place.
MC: It’s like having guests at home, but at the same time, it feels like welcoming new members to the family.
LZY: So, which one do you hope I am?
MC: I’ve long regarded you as the latter in my heart, obviously.
MC: However, this situation makes me seem like I’m not being a gracious host...
MC: Having to deal with the bad weather is one thing, but who knew the electricity in the house would be unstable at a critical moment, and now my bed isn’t big enough either.
I look up at the small pink pillow under Li Zeyan’s head and sigh softly. Li Zeyan, however, just smiles calmly and brushes aside the hair falling over my face.
MC: Be careful when you roll over. If you’re afraid of falling off, just hug me a little tighter~
LZY: [i’m cRY at how he just plays along with you haha] It’s certainly something to be afraid of.
Li Zeyan says this as he gets up to turn off the lights, and the room is plunged into darkness once again.
I reach out my arms towards him and am immediately swept back into his arms.
MC: Thank you, CEO Li~ How about I repay you with a goodnight kiss?
LZY: That’s it?
MC: Then what else do you want?
I blink my eyes at him, and suddenly, he lifts his hand to cover my sight.
A soft warmth captures my lips, swallowing my confusion.
He holds me too tightly in the square of his arms, and his broad palm accidentally presses on my nose, causing my already erratic breathing to become even more difficult to maintain.
I punch him indignantly, and Li Zeyan finally moves his hand away, his fingers cradling my face.
LZY: Didn’t you say you wanted to repay me?
MC: T-This isn’t what I had in mind!
LZY: Is this not good?
His warm finger pads caress the side of my face in a back-and-forth motion, leaving me with no refuge to escape but to gaze into his smiling eyes.
LZY: Instead of letting your imagination run wild every time you’re scared, why not think about something that can put your mind at ease?
LZY: For example, me.
LZY: So, consider this as collecting a tip in advance to cover your memories.
A soft chuckle drifts from above me, and he lifts my face again. With the last hint of light also overlaid, I close my eyes, welcoming this novel memory pertaining to the night’s darkness.
┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✄ ┈┈┈┈┈┈
The next morning, the sky finally clears up.
The entire city looks as if it has taken a bath. Under the early morning sunlight, there are glittering lights refracted by water droplets everywhere.
I summon every bit of my self-control and more to extract myself from Li Zeyan’s warm embrace and rise early to make breakfast.
Originally, I planned to have him take the day off and recover from jet lag, but as soon as he gets out of bed, he receives a call from LFG, saying there is an urgent matter that needs to be dealt with in person.
I watch as a certain someone at the dining table finishes his breakfast with a sullen look on his face and can’t help but burst into laughter.
MC: Who knew even CEO Li could show such a “rebellious�� expression about having to work overtime.
LZY: ...It’s just that I haven’t gotten over the jet lag yet.
MC: Who told you not to sleep obediently last night?
I stand up with a laugh before he can glare at me and push his suitcase to the door for him. Li Zeyan dons his coat, seems to hesitate for a moment, and then turns back to look at me.
MC: What’s wrong?
LZY: Nothing.
MC: It doesn’t seem like you’ve left anything behind, have you?
I look around to check while speaking, but I realize that Li Zeyan has kept his gaze trained on me, with no intention of searching for anything.
I blink my eyes, and an adorable guess bubbles up in my heart.
MC: Could it be that... CEO Li is unwilling to leave?
Li Zeyan grips the handle of the suitcase, averts his eyes, and smiles.
LZY: Let Pudding stay at your place for one more day.
MC: No worries, we’ll get along perfectly.
He doesn’t give a direct answer to my question, so I take it as his tacit assent and continue along with his words.
LZY: He ate quite a lot last night, so feed him less cat food today.
MC: Understood~
LZY: Be careful with the electricity today, and if you run into any issues, reach out to me right away.
MC: Uh-huh, anything else you want to remind me of?
I stare at him, smiling giddily. Li Zeyan opens his mouth, but in the end, he just displays a helpless expression and says nothing.
The rare instance of not being able to find the words to say, the rare moments of being dumbstruck and not knowing how to reply, the rare scenario of dragging his feet about going to work...
All of this shows that he is really unwilling to leave.
I smile even happier and tiptoe up to lock my arms around his neck.
Li Zeyan seems a bit puzzled, but he promptly supports my waist and arches an eyebrow, waiting for me to continue.
MC: Hehe, consider this as a tip you’re paying in advance.
MC: This way, whenever you feel overwhelmed in the future, you will think of only me.
I mimic his words from last night, and even reach up to muss his hair.
LZY: Little copycat.
Li Zeyan seems to want to resist this “childish” act subconsciously, but his arms betray his honest feelings and draw me in even tighter.
He looks at me with a silly smile on my face, about to say something when I suddenly feel a tickle on my ankle, as if something furry is rubbing against it.
Just as I’m about to look down, my face is pinched by someone.
I’m compelled to raise my head and see the sunlight falling on Li Zeyan.
The locks of hair hanging over his forehead and eyelashes are all bathed in dazzling, golden-bright luster. He reminds one of a big cat who has just woken up, making people irresistibly want to get closer to him.
And he does exactly as I wished, taking the initiative to bring this warmth to me.
The distance between us is reduced to zero, and I naturally close my eyes, welcoming this kiss infused with the warmth of the sunlight.
Even if a person grows accustomed to the humidity of this city, they will still rejoice when the sky clears and the sunshine beams down.
Even for those who can see the person they love every day and kiss them whenever they want, they will still find that any small separation feels too long.
The meow of the kitten rises from our feet, as if it also wants to participate in this wordless goodbye. I gently bite Li Zeyan’s lips, and he, rather reluctantly, pulls back just a bit.
MC: Mr. Customer, you’re being too generous with your tip.
With his eyes cast down, he continues to gaze at me, his breath still lingering at the edge of my lips.
LZY: Because I’ve already fulfilled the conditions you set.
LZY: Now that I’ve paid double the tip, I’m asking for an upgrade on the terms.
He raises an eyebrow, as if he is genuinely negotiating with me.
At such proximity, my mind is already a muddled mess, yet I still manage to capture the answer he desires from the look of yearning in his eyes.
I strive to muster my willpower, rise on tiptoe, and kiss his lips again.
MC: Then you must work diligently and clock out early...
MC: And who knows, perhaps I’ll suddenly appear when you’re missing me?
─────���────────────────────────────────────
#i'm just laughing at how paper thought- “hey you know we haven't shown the heroine's place in Li Zeyan's dating verse since December 2021–#– let's acknowledge it still exISTs i guess” LMAO 😂#i actually love how the date mentions MC's old apartment is special to her b/c it holds memories of her childhood- 🥺#also all the nods to why the thunderstorm actually makes MC jittery still. THE LIGHTNING INCIDENT & REASON FOR THEIR CHILDHOOD SEPARATION😭#all the callbacks!! A DOING THE DEED SCENE IN A SR DATE!! POUTY LI ZEYAN. OWH TO GET TO LIVE THE DAY WHEN LI ZEYAN DOESN'T WANT TO WORK 😂#OOFF SO MUCH COMFORT AND WARMTH!! i'll prolly just make a thread on twitter later to talk about the details i wanna talk about haha#also BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAYYY PUDDING BBY!! 🥳 you really do have the best parents in the world haha 💗#mlqc victor#mlqc li zeyan#mlqc#mr love victor#mr love queen's choice#恋与制作人#李泽言#love and producer#mlqc cn#mlqc spoilers#mlqc translations#Youtube
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just remembered men’s chest hair exists. peace and love on planet earth.
#someone just mentioned it briefly in a YouTube video I’m watching and for some reason now I have to fan myself#dear lord. men’s chest hair….#ok but like. why do I feel like just seeing a lil peek of chest hair is almost hotter than seeing someone totally shirtless#it’s like the appeal of cleavage but for men#the tease…. the mystery… god its hot.#idk what’s come over me rn I’m just. yngggggh.#boutta go look at some con O’Neill gifs for no particular reason#Izzy shirtless scene…. cider with Rosie gifset… you know#the usual
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I have finally created a Plex server! It is basically like my personal streaming platform where I can watch whatever I want as long as I have the files. In mmni terms, it’s my home cinema haha. Currently I have:
The Goes Wrong Show
Mischief Movie Night In
Peter Pan Goes Wrong
The Christmas That Goes Wrong
A Christmas Carol Goes Wrong
Spy x Family Musical
Odd Squad the Movie
If you are interested in watching any of these on Plex, then please feel free to shoot me a message! I will need your Plex username (making an account is free) so I can add you and give you access :)
Edit: Just to clarify - I will still be giving out the downloadable links as I usually do. This is just an alternative to (hopefully) make it easier to watch everything :)
#plex server#the goes wrong show#peter pan goes wrong#a christmas carol goes wrong#the christmas that goes wrong#mischief movie night in#mischief theatre#mischief comedy#spy x family#sxf musical#spy x family musical#odd squad the movie#odd squad#odd squad pbs kids#personal#about me#rambles in the palace#posting in the palace#I am so excited I’ve been wanting to make this for a while now#and I finally did it#AND IT LOOKS SO PRETTY#currently working on getting os episodes on there#it refuses to acknowledge os as a tv show for some reason#but once I do#NO MORE VPNS#no more getting blocked on youtube
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I don't know what let's player needs to hear this but you should put the name of that indie game you're playing in the title of the video
#static speaks#ok it annoys me when youtubers dont put the name of the game in the title for two reasons#1. i just want to know what im watching before i get into it#2. if you're a massive youtuber playing a small indie game for an audience of millions. the least you can do is give them some visibility#we're in an age where popular youtube videos can make or break an indie game - look at fnaf bendy etc.#and dont get me started on titles like 'THE NEW FNAF' bc it completely wipes away any individual identity the game was going for#and makes your audience think its fnaf ripoff cash grab number 10000#most egregious example i can think of is nearly a decade old but i remember once seeing razzbowski post a video called#'the new hello neighbor'. he was playing bendy and the ink machine. literally what#anyway. end rant.
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Can You Hear The Rumble? - Vergil x Reader
Music Inspired Fics (Devil May Music) - Cirice, by Ghost
Pairing: Vergil x Reader
Summary: Everyone knew the kind of demon a hunter should be wary about is the one who plays with their victim's minds. You and Vergil were very proud on the outside - but how would it be when having to save each other on the inside for the first time?
TRIGGER WARNING: A lot of blood, cuts, bruises, scars and suffering on both Vergil and the reader's sides. The reader also struggles with perfection and self-loathing - in a "I'm never going to be a good person" kind of way, because I needed to get more intimate on the reader's part as well - and there are scenes with the reader covered in cuts and bleeding, though not self-imposed, it could be read like that. Those scenes are the reader's and Vergil's internal images of themselves. Reader and Vergil meet each other on their imperfections and the darkest parts of their souls, so BE WARNED. This might not be everyone's cup of tea and there are lots of potential triggers.
Author's Note: @tokkis-shelf asked me if Vergil's part of the Halloween special was inspired by Cirice, and here we are now. It is what kickstarted the song-fic requests! As with a lot of people, I think, Cirice is pretty personal to me.
In the video, it was so comforting to me seeing the black sheep being represented hahahaha and I guess that's why people love it so much. The part where they hold hands? I died, I'd never let go, I cry my soul out upon watching. (I did a very similar drawing to that scene when I was in school around 15 years ago, so it drop-kicked me out of my body xD)
Now, when writing this, I kept in mind that this song has a double meaning and can be quite comforting and quite manipulative at the same time - hence why I use the "can't you see that you're lost without me?" in two different situations, 'cause I think Cirice can be interpreted in so many ways and each person takes what they need from this song. I hope you guys like it!!
Plus, the song the reader and Dante sing at the end is The Power of Love, by Huey Lewis and The News
youtube
Cirice, by Ghost
“Can’t you see that you’re lost…?”
It happened every time Vergil walked in the darkness.
That voice in the back of his head, silently taunting him, the hiss of a quiet viper in the hopes of taking him back to the darkest parts of his soul. Quiet, lurking, whispering… Mundus always there, somewhere in the folds of his consciousness, guiding him back into the void – luring Vergil back into his shackles.
“Can’t you see that you’re lost without me?”
As if Vergil couldn’t belong anywhere else, as if his place was in Hell. After all he had been through, after all the sins he perpetrated, he believed wholeheartedly there was no hope for him at all – only a fool’s hope; only a glimmer of a wish he wasn’t as tainted as he was… A desire to not be such a monster as he was.
Pacing quietly through the empty cathedral, Vergil had already learned not to give in to those thoughts – to keep them at bay, as only a whisper in the darkness, of trickster voices that would always remind him of how inhuman he was.
It was times like this Vergil longed for the faint glimmer of the moon, or the warm ghostly light of a candle. It was easy to get lost in the dark, but a single ray of light could help through the direst of situations. That night, though, it seemed like the moon had fallen asleep behind the curtains of the clouds – Selene hiding her tears for her earthly lover in his eternal sleep.
None of you knew what that night entailed – you weren’t even certain what you were dealing with. That was the reason why Lady strutted in the Devil May Cry, not too fond of taking a job she didn’t know if it was up to her abilities.
“Well, looks like I have a new one for you to pay your debt, big guy!” Her singsong voice interrupted the ambience of the jukebox; Lady entering the shop with Kalina Ann and all.
“Eh, I’m never gonna be free of my debt, Lady, let’s be honest.” Dante sighed, putting his feet down and throwing his magazine across the table, shooting her a serious glare. “But things have been borin’ lately, so one of your odd jobs’ not gonna hurt. Whaddya have for me?”
“You talk as if I never help you enough to maintain this place.” She lifted one eyebrow, approaching the big desk at the middle of the shop.
“Gotta give the woman credit, Dante. Last month’s bills were on her.” You shrugged as you had finally come out of your shower, happy to see Lady around, still drying your hair with the towel as you went down the stairs.
“See? Someone who has a bit of common sense.” Her smile was nothing short of devilish as she gestured towards you.
“You know where you are, Lady. ‘Common sense’ isn’t much of a thing in this household.” You greeted her by quickly blowing her a kiss while passing by, making your way towards the couch where Vergil was quietly reading.
“Ey, you’re hurtin’ my feelings like that.” Dante put one of his hands over his heart, laughing alongside you as you kept on your way. “But fine. I’ll give ya that, Lady. So, what’s up? What job do you wanna throw at me this time?”
“I am not throwing it at you.” And there it was: you could always see when Dante stroke a nerve when Lady got defensive and with that fiery stare on her multicolored eyes. “If you wanna do it, great, if you don’t, I can deal with it myself just fine. I’m here to be a good friend since you can barely afford all that pizza you keep stuffing yourself with!”
As you sat by Vergil’s side, you both exchanged a telling glare. Just like you, Vergil was used to observing people. Granted, he didn’t know Lady as much as Dante or even you, but he did know her since he was very young. That fiery, easy-to-anger personality had been there since they first met at the Temen-ni-gru – and Vergil argued it was one of Lady’s traits that would never change.
Something he was quite pleased with, if he had to be honest with himself. It was a good trait for a human demon hunter like her. Dante always praised human’s hearts and particularly their love and empathy – Vergil praised their burning anger that made them unconquerable in the direst of circumstances.
“Jeez, alright, alright, don’t shoot me!” Dante raised his hands as if he was at gunpoint, making you wheeze quietly. Vergil side-eyed you for a while – half judging, half holding his own laugh. “It’s not like I have much of a choice, do I?”
“Humpf.” Lady rolled her eyes and took a slice of pizza from the box resting on the desk, pointing at Dante with it right after. “You know I wouldn’t bring you something if it wasn’t important.”
“Actually, you would.” With those words, Dante rested his arms crossed on the table – all the while, you and Vergil watched it all as if it was a show. Who needed a TV when you had those two? “But you’re bein’ too dodgy ‘bout it, babe. What’s goin’ on?”
“I got a call from a priest in a city nearby.” Lady’s answer was uncharacteristically quiet, followed by a bite from the pizza while she seemed pensive and in any hurry to chew it. “I’ve done some jobs there, know the guy, he’s nice. All the times he called me, it was always a quick, good-paying job. He said some weird things have been happening at the cathedral for the last couple of weeks.”
“Not to sound mean, but there’s always somethin’ strange happenin’ at churches.” Dante’s eyes carried a bit of skepticism: ‘weird things’ didn’t always entail a job for the Devil May Cry – and it usually ended with all of you hunting a rogue raccoon or something.
“I know. But this guy, he doesn’t get scared easy, ok? He’s one of those types of priests who’ll try to shoot down a couple of demons with a shotgun and, if that doesn’t work, he gives me a call.” Those words, though, made you and the Spardas raise your eyebrows. Indeed, it was a rare type of priest, but a good one to keep as acquaintance. “He said the cathedral is increasingly quiet, even from noises outside, with occasional distant noises that are not done by any of those who live there. After it all started, the other priests reported having weird nightmares, of being chased by something in the dark, inside the cathedral – this thing whispering things they can’t understand. Alright if it happened to one or two, but soon all of them started waking up in the middle of the night with similar nightmares – and, catch this, the higher ups of the clergy didn’t tell the common priests about it, but they all reported the very same dream.” Those words caught everyone’s attention. Vergil finally closed his book and leaned forward, paying attention to Lady’s retelling of the priest’s misfortunes. “The priest has been trying to figure out what’s going on, but some old books appear to go missing from the library, only to re-appear as if nothing has happened. Some books are missing pages, something that never happened before. He also said the inside of the cathedral has been getting darker and darker as the weeks go by. As if something is approaching – his words, not mine.”
Vergil immediately furrowed his brows and seemed to turn into an ice sculpture right by your side. You risked a glance, finding him with his usual dark aura – pensive, somber and quiet; hunter’s eyes showing themselves in a matter of seconds.
“Rare are the creatures in Hell in search for knowledge…” He muttered loud enough for his brother and Lady to turn their attention to him. “But those who do, are usually among the worst. Haunting noises, torn books, nightmares, dead silence and total darkness…”
“What? You think those Hell Piranhas came out of their pit?” Dante’s question had a bit of fun in the words, but his eyes were serious and he didn’t allow his lips to smile.
“Could be. Could also be a demon trying to mimic them to hide something else.”
“Hell Piranhas?” You and Lady didn’t need a cue to ask at the very same time. Neither of you had ever heard of that – and both of you had heard of a lot.
“This is not their name, but it is how Dante calls them since we were kids.” Vergil almost sighed in response.
“How we both called ‘em. Mister smart-pants over here isn’t that much better than lil’ ol’ me.” Dante winked at both of you, making you giggle quietly in return. “They’re kinda like illusion demons, but they like stayin’ in the darkness and gatherin’ knowledge. Usually work for someone bigger, though.”
“And even if they don’t, they swallow up all their knowledge and that is dangerous in itself. Afterwards, they feed from the victims they have been toying for so long.” Vergil continued Dante’s thought, ignoring his brother’s previous words. The more you didn’t think about what Dante had said about him, the better – for Vergil couldn’t deny it. “They hunt in packs, and the more victims, the more powerful they become. Some call them the Pit Deceivers, others call them the Lie Weavers…”
“You call them Hell Piranhas.” You concluded bluntly, making Vergil stare at the horizon with emptiness in his eyes – he could say all he wanted, flex all his demonic knowledge, you heard the Piranhas and now you’d never forget it.
“I never heard of them.” Lady had her eyebrows furrowed, searching her memory for some story like that.
“They either don’t leave the pit that much or not many humans survive to tell the story. That’s why.” Dante pointed at a great, old book Vergil had left on one of the tables a long time ago and now it was its official resting place. “You can find it only in the likes of the Codex Daemonica.”
“So either we have them around, or it’s something else. Something bigger. Right?” As you asked, Vergil only agreed with his head as the attentions turned to you. “Or something mimicking the Piranhas.” And Vergil had to sigh at your addition. He would never have peace again. “The mimic or the master, what kind of demon would the Piranhas answer to? If they are that obscure, I take it their existence is more of a niche knowledge in Hell rather than a common information.”
“On that, you are correct…” Vergil murmured in response, falling back into his pensive demeanor. You knew he would be lost for a while.
“See? Good thing I brought this for you, then.” Lady waved dismissively at Dante, but you could sense a little edge in her playful voice. Dealing with big things was fine, same as dealing with cruel demons and the ones that played the big-scary-one persona. Unknown demons were another kind of monster – one only Dante and Vergil used to deal with. “Plus, they always pay well.”
“Eh, I won’t be seein’ much of that money, if I know ya well.” Dante scoffed, having a small smile hidden in the corner of his lips; his tone and demeanor, though, were quite somber and you knew the red devil was taking it seriously.
“If you don’t mind, Dante, I would like to take over this one.” Vergil finally declared while getting up from the couch. “I know some of the hellish creatures who might make use of the Weavers or mimic them.”
“Fine for me, I’m needin’ some time to rest.” Dante sighed, but looked right back at you while Vergil rested his book on the big Devil May Cry desk. “But I’m gonna feel a lot better with someone around to keep an eye on ‘im, pretty thing.”
“Well, I didn’t intend on letting you guys deal with this all by yourselves anyway.” You got up from the couch, immediately receiving a glare from Vergil. “I’m going, blue devil, whether you want it or not. I want to get acquainted with these Piranhas.”
Vergil only closed his eyes, letting out the longest and most regretful sigh you ever heard in your life.
And there you were – although Vergil lost track of you quite a while ago. He knew the stirrings rippling through his heart when you were in danger; and being the fierce human you were, Vergil wasn’t worried about having you search for the demons in the cathedral.
There was, though, a slight uneasiness. That voice echoing in the darkest parts of his soul, it always came as an omen – causing nothing but destruction, inside or outside of himself. Vergil never could really say which one would be, but both were devastating.
“Veeeeergil…”
His steps came to a dry halt in the middle of the cathedral. The night outside the colorful stained-glass windows was pitch black, robbing the colors of their warmth and light – the fire on the candles, long dead in that cold night. The whisper that crept to his ears, like stark chalk on a chalkboard, dragged itself through the marble floor and took a hold of his soul in its clutches.
It was a different kind of sound – different from the ones inside himself, calling him to the darkness. It was from the outside… The Lie Weavers. Slowly coming up, finding him as their next victim. He was close to one of the places they were certainly lurking in the shadows, patiently waiting for someone they could consume.
Vergil never feared the darkness. Tightening his grip around Yamato, his steps resumed his way, approaching the places in the cathedral the faint light of the night could barely touch. Those demons should have known their end was near, and he was the harbinger of their demise – he expected all kinds of trickery, of resistance, of fight from them.
He did not expect to hear a familiar voice, filled with uncertainty.
“Vergil…?”
Halting his steps once more, this time his silvery eyes lost their predatorial gaze as his heart jumped in his chest – even if for a slight second.
“Mother?”
His answer was but a whisper before he was swallowed by darkness.
*
When engaging with illusion demons, one should be aware of not falling into their element: when engulfed by it, those demons were more powerful than expected, able to subdue even the strongest of foes. Breaking from their control required mental and emotional discipline rather than brute force.
It was a slight second – a foolish slip from his human soul, disarmed by the trickery of Eva’s voice – and Vergil was surrounded by a sea of darkness and turmoil. His heart stirred with anger towards himself for being such a child, a vulnerable stupid child, tricked by a puppet of something his heart missed so much.
Eva was long dead. There was no demon able to bring her back. And he would never see her again. All that logic was tossed aside in a spark of a second by his stupid human heart, trembling upon hearing her speak his name again. Granted, Vergil only heard his mother in his dreams, barely remembering how her voice sounded in reality, and this time he heard outside himself – but he should have seen it coming. Illusion demons, trickster demons, cruel demons… They all relied on the barely closed scars inside his damned human soul.
Vergil could always count on them to re-open those wounds, making him bleed as much as he did on the floor of that cursed cemetery so many years ago – and he was a fool to fall for it after he had been through so much.
“Vergil… Can you hear me…?”
“I can, you damned deceiver. You can stop these theatrics – mimicking my dead mother will not affect me.” His voice cut through the dark like the sharpest of ice, his predatorial gaze back into his silver eyes.
“I… Don’t understand you, son. I cannot find you.” Her voice had a tinge of sorrow and desperation – but it was exactly like Eva’s voice. Vergil remembered it with a tinge of gold, probably a result of the haze of nostalgia, but today it was grounded and melancholic – perhaps, that was how Eva had always sounded… He just didn’t remember it. “I can’t find you. You aren’t home.”
“I haven’t been home for a long while.” Vergil didn’t even try to hide the growl that raised from his chest as he argued with that creature. He was used to having a puppet of his mother parading in front of him to hurt his human soul even more, but that was already getting on his nerves. Taunting him about the fact his mother ran to find him that fateful night wasn’t part of the usual games those filthy demons played – and to say they were honing his wrath was an understatement. “And I will never be back.”
“I… I cannot see you, Vergil. Where are you…? Why…?” He could hear the weeping in her voice, faint sobbing while the desperation made her words tremble. Vergil raised his head in the darkness, holding his own heart not to quiver: she wasn’t real and it was all a gimmick to affect him. He would not be affected. He was stronger than that. “Why couldn’t I save you? Those demons they… They hurt you, didn’t they? Oh, my child! My son! They hurt you and I could do nothing! I couldn’t be your mother!”
“Enough with this, filthy, hellish creature!” His voice finally exploded from his chest, roaring in the dark and echoing through the void, finding only silence. “You have no right to desecrate my mother’s memory like this! Shut your putrid mouth and stop with your rancid lies!”
The glint of the Yamato being unsheathed made the darkness recoil for a split second, only to envelop the Dark Slayer once more. His grip was tight, his eyes fiercely looking for his first opponent to direct a very well-placed judgement cut that could end all those creatures with just one swing of his hand. Vergil had enough and all the patience he carried in his being wouldn’t be enough to stop him from overkilling those demons – he just had to know where to direct his wrath.
“Don’t say those words, Vergil… You are not… Not like this.” Her voice still trembled, and his hand was still certain around Yamato. Vergil knew quite well at that state he was a weapon of mass destruction, he just had to find his opponent. His soul was screaming for him to do that, to put a stop to all that mockery. “You are good… You are my son.”
Vergil would have sliced that demon into a thousand million pieces without flinching, even if it took the form of his mother – but his eyes widened as a soft, warm hand touched his face. In all those years being taunted by demons, being tricked and mocked, seeing so many puppets of Eva, Sparda and Dante, none of them had touched him… And none of them genuinely felt like them.
It had been so many lost years he hadn’t felt his mother’s touch – last time, she could cup his entire face, thumb lovingly caressing his innocent eyebrows, but now her thumb could only reach his cheekbones. Nevertheless, it felt like her: not like a golden, nostalgic lost memory of how she felt, but exactly like Eva’s hands, even with the slight roughness of her continuous gardening.
“It took me so long to find you… I am so sorry.”
“You are not my mother.”
“Don’t say that.” Her answer was a sorrowful whisper, her thumb now carefully caressing his sharp cheekbone. Vergil closed his eyes, unable to move, convincing himself all of that wasn’t real and not allowing his heart to sway – forcing his arms to remain frozen by his side, fighting the urge to embrace her. Reminding himself: his mother was dead, killed while trying to save him, a long time ago, and nothing could bring her back. “Your heart hasn’t hardened as much as not to recognize me. You…” Her voice once more became soft, as if trying to do the same with his soul. “You are not a monster… You are my son, my Vergil.”
With those words, Eva’s hand was finally met with a tear – melting the ice from those silvery eyes.
*
There was an impending storm rumbling inside your chest.
Whenever that turmoil took ahold of your heart, you knew Vergil was in trouble. You had just finished checking your side of the cathedral, finding some things out of the ordinary but no demons, when the waves became aggressive in your chest. Your steps were already taking you to meet him, but you found yourself walking even hastier – the sound, though, eaten by the shadows that seemed to only grow around you.
Neither of you had calm seas of feelings: they usually raged like a maelstrom of emotions you could barely get through without some destruction – be it internal or external. But there was a certain note of melancholy and desperation in your heart at that moment that made you know Vergil was hurting – and that hurting, you knew quite well.
It was almost ironic how you apparently despised each other at the beginning, but after a while you came to understand; that aversion was there because you, in a certain way, were a mirror of each other. You could see in him the traits in your soul you disliked the most, and Vergil did see in you the same thing – those traits, however, were the same ones that brought you together, and made both you and Vergil feel seen and understood for the first time in your lives.
He didn’t judge your sins, as you didn’t judge his. To your eyes, he was never a monster, and to his, you could never be as crooked as you thought you were. You found each other in imperfection and, in that, you managed to talk and feel on the same level – after that, every feeling of admiration, care and love was easy to blossom.
You understood that storm, that thunder rumbling inside your chest at that very moment. You could feel it exactly the way he felt – and you knew Vergil needed help… Even if he would never say so himself.
You couldn’t hear or see him, though. You found yourself exactly at his area of patrol in the cathedral, but there was no clue as where your blue devil had gone – and for him to completely disappear, imposing presence and all, was quite an achievement in itself. The air was stiff, heavy as if the windows had never been opened, eating up any sound from the inside and the outside. The darkness was heavier than the one you had previously patrolled, shadows allowing only a few glimpses of the opulent decoration and the path in front of you – although, you couldn’t see more than a few meters beyond your feet.
If you couldn’t trust your sight or your hearing to find him, you could trust your heart: the storm would guide you. Closing your eyes, you allowed your feelings to take over, following with your footsteps in the direction you could hear his soul calling.
Those shadow creatures wouldn’t be able to hide him from you: no matter what happened or where you found yourselves, you would always be able to feel Vergil’s presence and find him in the darkest of hours.
And as the thunder in your chest cracked violently, your feet came to a halt and you opened your eyes.
Right in front of you, there was only darkness. Not like in the shadows that took the cathedral little by little, but pitch-black darkness, that no light could cast aside. To enter it would mean to be completely bare: vulnerable, lost, without guidance, naked – but the screaming in your soul made it very clear Vergil was in there.
Contrary to your lover, you were afraid of the dark. You always preferred to have a little light by your side, for you never knew what could be lurking alongside you, ready to pounce and drag you to certain suffering and death. You protected yourself by being forever vigilant, as you always did – a trait that exhausted you, yes, but luckily, in the last few years, you had Vergil around to keep a light by you when your body started giving out.
For that reason, you would never fear entering the darkness for him.
And with a deep breath, your bold steps took you inside the dark.
*
Your feet were cold, bare, stumbling over a sticky floor. Even if your eyes could see only darkness, you felt the freezing air of that night slicing your skin: you were shirtless and something was hurting… Oozing. The cold wind mixed with a faint warmness that leaked from the open wounds on your skin.
Blood. You were bleeding.
Your arms immediately wrapped around you – those scars, they were showing. They never showed before.
Running your hands quickly over your body, you could feel the warm blood slipping through your fingers; some wounds barely holding themselves closed while others still poured as in the day they were created.
That was the version of yourself you used to fiercely hide. None of those wounds were physical, none of them could be seen… But whenever you looked in the mirror, you saw them there, under your skin, under your soul, quietly resting until you couldn’t hide them anymore.
“You are lost…”
It was always the same voice, of something dark, something inside you that could break your soul if you didn’t shove it back into the darkness like you always did. That was why you were afraid; that was why Vergil always kept a faint glow by your side whenever you couldn’t hold yourself together. The dark was dangerous to you – to both of you.
“You are lost without me…”
“I can survive quite well without you…!” You growled to the darkness, keeping that part of yourself at bay. The part that gave in to the pain, that bathed in the blood and didn’t want to get up… And the part that would bathe and rise in rage, making you survive at great cost to those around you.
You were past that. And you didn’t need that to survive. You didn’t have to survive, you could live.
“Can’t you see that you’re lost…?”
“Vergil!” Your scream was a roar in the dark, looking for the one you plunged into the darkness to find. You wouldn’t give in to the trickery of those Piranhas – and you would get Vergil out of there.
They would learn they shouldn’t fear only the son of Sparda: they should also fear you.
“You think you can find him…?” After the mischievous ethereal voice questioned, you heard a giggle rippling around your feet as you stumbled on the sticky floor to find your lover. “You think you are that good? You think you aren’t a monster?”
You furrowed your brows, doing your best to ignore the voices. You knew it was that part inside of you that always taunted how broken you were, how imperfect your soul was. For the longest time you believed there was nothing good in you, nothing to save you from a life of loneliness, until you crossed paths with Vergil.
He was broken too – and he would never judge the things you did to survive your lethal wounds.
“Vergil! Can you hear me?! I’m here to find you!”
“How chivalrous, how heroic! What are you trying to accomplish?” The giggles pooled around your feet, threatening to drag you inside that pool of viscous darkness. “Trying to prove yourself? You’re never going to be perfect. You’re a black sheep, an outcast, remember? The likes of you aren’t heroes.”
“Oh, I’m no hero…” You growled back, fighting against the things trying to pull you back; fighting against the pain of the freezing cold and warmness of blood. “I’m a fucking fighter. You’re messing with the wrong kind of monster, fucking Hell Piranhas.”
“Piranhas…?” A faint whisper in the dark broke whatever control those things were trying to have over your body, starting at your feet. It was Vergil’s whisper – followed by a louder speaking tone. “Y/n! I can feel you, where are you?!”
“Trying to find you!” You screamed back, immediately dragging your feet towards Vergil. You couldn’t see him, but you could feel where he was – and there was nothing those demons could do against that.
The darkness seemed to shift for a couple of seconds. You couldn’t understand what was happening, but you saw a faint, ghostly pale glow in the dark – almost imperceptible, but your heart knew, you could finally see Vergil.
And, in return, he could see you. Moving his feet, Vergil dragged heavy shackles through the floor, screeching in a horrid, soul scratching sound as he willed his body to move towards you. You could hear him grunting with the effort, another set of chains being dragged as Vergil moved his arms – slowly, but surely, wearing all of his strength to get to you.
You felt the viscous ripples of the floor creeping up your legs, almost on your knees, doing their best to pull you away – back into the darkness, back to the taunting voices, to the doubt, the hurt, the self-loathing.
“Vergil! Let me hear your voice! You’re still there, right?!”
“Yes. I am always here.” His answer came with grunts of effort, barely above the noise of the chains screeching around him.
The darkness shifted again, and his form became even more visible, as yours did to him – followed by a scream that rumbled in his chest, Vergil managed to get even closer. That made something spark inside yourself, that thundering storm breaking in your soul cracking in a scream that broke the insidious tentacles holding you back and making you lunge forward.
Once again, the glow you diffused only to each other seemed to get stronger as the darkness wavered.
“Y/n…” He growled once more, the shackles screaming on the floor as he reached out to you.
“Vergil…!” You reached out in return, barely making out the form of his fingers in the dark.
As you were almost touching each other’s hands, the heavy, muffling darkness faltered once more. You could finally see one another, as you were in that godforsaken place.
Vergil was shirtless, his body covered in wounds – new and old – bleeding profusely. His silvery eyes were red, sunken in deep shadow, surrounded by a deep purple mist on his dry skin. You could see his bones under his pale skin covered in so many lacerations you wouldn’t even know where to start healing him. His knuckles were battered, showing the flesh underneath, as well as his wrists covered by heavy iron shackles – wounds from fighting against them for so long. His hands were still long and elegant, but bony and covered in bruises.
You had never seen Vergil so hurt, so broken, so… Vulnerable.
In return, his eyes took in shock the vision of you: as shirtless as him, as battered and wounded as he was. Even if not locked in the shackles he wore for so long in Hell, you walked barefoot leaving a trail of blood behind you. Those scars, those wounds, those bruises… He knew they were there, but he had never seen those. You looked weak and tired, bloodshot eyes under dry skin, as if you hadn’t slept in ages… And those things you fought so much to conceal, now crystal clear in front of him.
Those were the scars you carried inside yourselves. The wounds you had to fight against every day – that you had to try to heal, even if sometimes it seemed impossible. The things you would never show, but, somehow, you managed to sense it in each other… Now you could see it, clear as a bright night.
And, even if you wouldn’t admit to yourselves, those were the very same breaking thunders that would keep you moving – fiercely fighting, fiercely surviving.
As you took in each other’s internal selves, Vergil’s silvery eyes finally found yours.
A loud thundering noise shook the floor underneath your feet twice, as your hearts rumbled alongside the devastating sound. You lunged forward, holding Vergil’s hand as if your life depended on it. Never breaking your eye contact, Vergil held your hand with the strength you would expect of the legendary Dark Slayer. You made each other stronger, and there was nothing that could come between you now.
His shackles immediately screeched back, pulling Vergil violently away from you. At the same time, you were grabbed by the viscous darkness – your knees, your legs, your abdomen, your arms. It pulled you back with vicious strength, doing its best to drag you away from him – back into the darkness.
“Don’t let me go!” You screamed back, tightening your grip around his bony hand.
“I will never let go!” He growled, doing the same, trying to drag his body forward – failing to notice you willed yourself towards him as he pulled you into his arms. Those silvery eyes never moved away from yours.
“You are lost…! Lost…!”
The voices chanted and screeched around you, doing their best to drag you apart. For a moment, your hand slipped and you let out a desperate scream, hurting your lungs as you were almost pulled back into the void. Vergil’s cry resembled a roar as he willed his body to move and tightened his grip in a way he didn’t hold even Yamato.
He hadn’t held his brother’s hand once. This time he wouldn’t make the same mistake. This time, he would hold you even if that damned the both of you to the darkest pits of Hell.
“Can’t you see…? Can’t you see that…?”
“I am lost…!” You barked back to the voices, still staring into Vergil’s eyes, trying to catch your breath while your lungs stung as if you were inhaling a thousand knives.
As Vergil looked into your eyes, though, he knew exactly what you were going to say – and he could safely say it was the very same thing he struggled to find the words to.
“Without you.” His answer came in a dark tone, ragged from the effort he too made to be able to hold your hand.
The thunder rumbled twice again – the voices shrieked and you suddenly found yourselves being launched into each other’s arms as the forces that bind you broke into a million pieces.
Vergil’s arms wrapped around you, one of his hands holding your head close to his chest, as you wrapped yours around his waist, keeping him as close as you could. His head rested on top of yours, and you kept your eyes closed – washing away the blood above his heart with the tears that streamed down your face.
“Don’t ever hide from me.” Vergil’s voice was uncharacteristically shaky, somber but reassuring. You had never been so vulnerable in front of him – and even upon seeing you like that, his reaction was to take you in his arms, to welcome you. “I’m not afraid of the dark.”
“And I’m not afraid of your darkness.” You tightened your arms around his cold, bony body as you felt tears running through your hair. “I can see beyond your glimmer, and I’m not afraid of what’s in the dark.” Your voice shook as you took a deep breath and Vergil’s arms held you even closer – his body shaking with the tears falling from his eyes. “It’s you. And I’m never afraid of you.”
“Neither am I of you.”
His answer was but a whisper – a whisper enough to break the darkness into a memory to be kept away in the deepest pits of Hell.
I can feel the thunder that’s breaking in your heart I can see through the scars inside you
*
*
*
*
“You killed the Piranhas from Hell with the power of love?”
Vergil wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear. Or die. Or both.
Probably both.
The whole crew was there as you and Vergil never came back from the job as quickly as expected – and when you did, it looked like you hadn’t slept in days.
The priest was more than happy with the result of your work – even though you never discovered why the Weavers decided to come out of hiding nor what they wanted. The congregation was just happy they were gone and the whole reason behind it would be a long-term thing for the Devil May Cry to work on – or to keep an eye on; maybe something bigger was approaching.
You and Vergil didn’t feel like going back to the shop, though. When you were hurt physically, things were very much ok to deal with, but when the wounds were emotional… You needed time for yourselves.
Unlike his brother, Vergil was a little more responsible with his money – and you, a lot more than the two. You managed to find somewhere to spend a few nights… Which involved the both of you talking out everything you felt and saw. It was harrowing at first, something neither of you were versed in and honestly were terrified of, but it eventually brought you even closer together.
So, to say you had defeated the Lie Weavers with the power of love was something that killed Vergil inside.
And you could almost see his internal self, glaring at you with a ‘really, after all of this you say this kind of foolishness’ look in his sad, silvery eyes, as Lady stared at both of you and made the question everyone was thinking.
“Yep. Power of love, it’s a curious thing.” You shrugged, making Vergil physically groan by your side while Dante slapped his table with a huge grin on his face.
“Make a one man weep, make another man sing! Hell yeah, Back To The Future, babe!” He winked back at you as you smiled in response.
“Of all the people you could end up dating, Vergil…” Trish sat on Dante’s desk, crossing her long legs while sporting a devilish smile on her rosy lips. It was interesting how her voice could never really sound like Eva’s. “It had to be someone who references the same songs as your brother.”
“Alas, fate plays many games…” Vergil rolled his eyes, but as they rested on you, there was a vulnerability you saw only once in that pitch black darkness. “But it is kind enough to give us what we need.”
No one ever really understood what he meant, but Dante was the only one who managed to see something inside his brother’s silvery eyes that could only reflect in yours – and that made him genuinely smile.
Indeed, you would never be the romance of a fairy tale book or a romantic comedy – but you could see what lied beyond each other’s scars; taking a glimpse at the worst of each other without fear and finding whatever light was left inside. You could understand – and that was much more than most lovers in the world would ever have.
#devil may cry#devil may cry imagine#dmc#dmc imagine#vergil x reader#vergil imagine#devil may cry fanfiction#dmc fanfiction#dmc vergil#vergil sparda#devil may music#song fic requests#cirice#cirice ghost#there aaaaare a few references to other things sprinkled here and there#the nostalgia and haziness from secular haze and ghuleh/zombie queen#but the whole Eva thing was the zombie queen nostalgia#never let go? that's from Titanic#the two thundering noises being the thundering drums from the song#the holding hands from the video from the scene that killed me in Matrix and my drawing when I was 15 y/o#seriously it's a recurring imagery in my life and I'm always ??? so it's in here too#I won't suffer alone#for some reason I sometimes sing 'I can see through the stars inside you'#and that's where the reader's 'I can see beyond your glimmer and I don't fear the dark' comes from#and that silly little ending at the shop was just a thing to tie it all together#OH! THE HELL PIRANHAS! Totally inspired by those shadow piranhas from the library planet episode in Doctor Who#the whole concept of those things just creeps me out#if some lost soul from the Ghost fandom fell here by chance or mistake do apologize#I need to tag things properly in this blog to update my masterlist forgotten in the abyss so finding it by cirice will be easier#Youtube
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Painting was stressing me 9ut so I made these
youtube
Based off that
#Jttw#Journey to the west#sun wukong#monkey king#I'm gonna fail art#The paintings still ugly#I need to finish painting everything then add the orange light#Idk how to do that#But I said I would do I'll figure it out#I asked my bestie to send me funny things and it was this and a bunch of things from Epic#The musical not the slug movie#Loved that when I was a kid tho#Idk why but I have a vendetta against Epic the musical#It's so strange cause 2 of my fav things are greek myth and musicals#But I just hate it for some reason#Just the vibes I guess#Youtube
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to the people who write summaries and wikis with thorough breakdowns of all the lore and media for a series that breaks it up into 20 different formats: you are doing fantastic work, may it remain intact and accessible well into the future, I owe you my life
to the people that decide splitting your series into 20 different media formats with critical lore in most/all of them is a good idea:
ARCHIVE YOUR SHIT IMMEDIATELY, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING.
#my post#the hill i will die on is “DO NOT EXODIA YOUR MEDIA IF YOU WANT IT TO SURVIVE. DO NOT ASSUME. DO NOT SPLIT THE LORE.''#Example one: FNAF. It is in an absolute cocomelon state of comprehensibility. this is why the fans are insane (/positive).#Example 2: RWBY / RoosterTeeth. Were it not for the work of fans preserving their media#we would have lost SO MUCH fucking work and effort.#Example 3: Project Moon. Comics and fan-works have been scrubbed from the internet because they put their foot up their own asses.#(which at the same time i have endless respect for. but when the lore is any amount spotty. if you use a COMIC to supplement.)#Example 4: BATIM. Putting any amount of lore in the NOVELS is asking for karma.#(FNAF is not immune to this. AT ALL.)#Example 5: *EVERY FUCKING ARG OUT THERE*. It is SO stressful trying to get into a series on a timer-#-that is ENTIRELY decided by how long its host service keeps its components functional#Example 6: Warframe. Half the lore is in YOUTUBE TRAILERS. Half is in INACCESSIBLE EVENTS.#THE STORY IS INCOMPREHENSIBLE WITHOUT THE WIKI.#all of this is exacerbated by streaming services deleting anything and everything at the drop of a hat#and certain medias (BATIM. RoosterTeeth. FNAF) just straight up DELETING THEIR SHIT. for REASONS.#YOUR LONGEVITY IS DOOMED TO A BRIEF EXISTENCE WITHOUT A BACKUP PLAN
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