#really wanted to get this one out before the finale because i imagine it's going to either support my theory or cut its legs out
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Sleepy morning with Sylus
A/N: While I was reading some other posts yesterday, I came across a user asking what it would be like to wake up next to Sylus. My imagination jumped on it right away! I would say this is more of a headcanon than a fanfic. I focused more how he would experience it. Short write, just because I'm working on other stuff.
Character: Sylus & Reader/MC/you
Genre: romantic, fluffy
Word count: 1,430 | Reading Time: 5 min
Background music
Your laughter echoes through his bedroom as you try to break free from his grip, his breath tickling your skin. His arms are wrapped tightly around you, pressing himself against your naked body. You smell incredible, so intoxicatingly good that waking up next to you must be heaven on earth.
You squirm and kick, already in tears from laughing so hard. He can't get enough of that sound, of the way you smile, the way you close your eyes and lean your head back. Your presence is like a flowerbed in full bloom, vibrant and breathtaking. Blooming in its full splendor.
Whenever he can, he admires you. When you sleep, he counts the moles on your body, tracing them with his fingertips. He caresses the scars you've earned as a fierce Hunter, kissing every natural fold of your skin. His touch follows the curve of your back, the delicate shape of your ass, down to your legs. The same legs that always wrap around him in the intensity of passion.
He loves you, more than he could ever show to you. It wouldn't be enough, ever.
"Sylus—" you gasp between laughs, struggling against him as your muscles start to cramp.
"You have so much energy, kitten" you keep laughing, you are so ticklish this morning. His nose brushes against your neck before he nips at your skin, placing lazy kisses along your shoulder.
You squirm even more, still breathless from laughter. "I will pee myself... Stop!"
He hums against your skin, only tightening his hold. He isn't really awake, he wants to keep sleeping, enjoying the peaceful morning with you. Sylus has worked hard to clear his schedule, to be with you like this. To adapt to your routine, make breakfast, and simply enjoy a normal day at your side.
"Then pee..." he teases.
"Gross! Let go." You protest, thoroughly disgusted by his suggestion.
"Not even in dreams, sweetie" he chuckles while still kissing your shoulder.
"Sy..." you whine. That tone, the way you try to get your way putting that face, that tone in your voice. The one that makes his heart melt no matter how much he tries to resist. He growls, reluctant to release you completely. His grip tightening for a moment before he finally exhales and relaxes.
"Go. You have 2 minutes to come back".
You waste no time jumping out of bed, only to earn a slap on your ass.
"Hey!" You spin around, shooting him a glare. Sylus only smirks.
"I like how it wiggles"
You disappear in the bathroom. Sylus shifts onto his back, crossing both arms behind his head, staring at the ceiling with a rare sense of peace. Yeah… he could get used to this. No, he wants to get used to this. The wealth he possesses and everything he has done has been nothing more than a way to ensure your safety. The years he spent searching for you taught him that he had to be prepared for anything. Losing you again was not in his plans. And if the day ever comes when you no longer love him, it won’t change a thing. He would still protect you, even from the shadows.
He’s so lost in thought that he doesn’t notice you sneaking back into bed. Carefully, you inch closer, suppressing a grin as you reach out to poke his cheek. But before you can even make contact, his hand shoots out, catching your wrist in a firm grip.
"Feeling playful this morning, my love?"
"Just a bit" you smirk. Sylus laughed.
"What do you want to play?" You tilt your head, pausing deliberately as your eyes drift over his bare chest, trailing down to his toned abs. The sheets rest low on his hips, and the way you’re looking at him doesn’t go unnoticed. He knows that look.
With effortless ease, he shifts, pulling you toward him until you land on top of his body.
His fingers brush a stray strand of hair from your face, his touch lingering. The color of your lips is already beautiful, but he loves it even more when they darken after passionate kisses. His lips part slightly, his gaze locked onto yours, mesmerized by the infinite depth of your shining eyes.
You lean in, pressing tender kisses across his face before finally finding his lips. Your entire body relaxes, melting into him. Savoring the slow movement of your mouth. Heat growing in your body. Between you two. The kiss deepens bit by bit, his tongue tracing your lips, later moving beyond, slipping inside, tasting you. You sigh into him, already lost in the spreading feelings of longing.
His hand has already trapped you. One sitting on your back, the other on your ass, keeping you close. He is getting harder by the second. His need for you is growing. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your fingertips grounding you in the moment. There is no rush, no urgency. You have the complete morning and day to melt in each other.
When he finally pulls away, just enough to rest his forehead against yours, his breath is warm against your lips. His eyes flutter shut for a moment as he exhales deeply. This is a dream, he thinks. A damn good dream. And he has no intention of waking up.
One hand moves to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing tenderly over your skin. He doesn’t need to speak; everything he feels is in the way he looks at you, in the way he holds you like you’re something precious. You cover his hand with yours, pressing your cheek into his palm. A faint smile tugs at his lips before he kisses you again.
Sylus takes his time, enjoying how your body reacts to him, the quiet gasps, the way your fingers tangle in his hair. His name escapes your lips in a breathless whisper. He watches you with a quiet intensity, taking in the way you melt under his touch. The space between you disappears, lost in the unhurried way he moves. Once more, your worlds merge, your bodies speaking a language only the two of you understand.
That's how you start the morning: with him, with you, with nothing beyond these four walls mattering. Just the warmth of his skin, the rhythm of your hearts, and the love that neither of you needs to put into words.
#love and deepspace#lads sylus#sylus#sylus x reader#lnds sylus#sylus x you#lads x reader#soft sylus#i love soft sylus#sylus qin#sylus fanfiction#romantic morning#sylus love and deepspace#sylus fluff
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Ꮺ . , THROUGH UPS & DOWNS , L.CY !
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PAIRING: bf ! anton × gf ! afab reader. SYNOPSIS: you always managed to pull yourself up out of breakdowns or sadder parts of life but you never once imagined someone creating a fuss to take care of you through your downs. [REQUESTED] . . . . . . GENRE: #comfort core, fic. WORD COUNT: 1k [LIBRARY]
You and Anton have been together for years, long enough to trust him with everything—well, almost everything. Moving in together felt right at the time, but lately, you’ve been questioning whether that was a mistake. Some days are good, some are bad, but the worst ones? The ones like today? Those are the hardest because you don’t even have the energy to pretend you’re okay.
Maybe it’s the fact that no matter how many job applications you send, no one seems to want you. Maybe it’s that sinking feeling that you’re not just struggling—you’re a burden. No, scratch that. You are a burden. Full stop.
Still, you push yourself to keep going. Just one foot in front of the other. You grip the door handle, take a shaky breath, and step inside.
Anton is there, standing in the middle of the living room like he’s been waiting for you. His face lights up when he sees you, but that stupidly proud smile of his only makes everything worse. How the hell can he still look at you like that when you’re contributing nothing?
“Hey…” His voice is soft, but his brows pinch together in concern. “You look—uh, kind of out of it. You okay?”
And that’s it. That’s the last fucking straw.
Your bag slips from your fingers, hitting the floor with a dull thud as you practically throw yourself at him. Your arms wrap around his torso, your face burying into his chest as the sobs hit you full force. Ugly, shaking, can’t-breathe kind of crying.
Anton doesn’t even flinch. No awkward hesitation, no stiff pat on the back like he’s comforting a coworker or some shit. His arms immediately close around you, holding you tight like he’s physically trying to keep you from falling apart.
“Hey, hey… Shh, I got you,” he soothes, rubbing slow circles into your back. “It’s okay. I’m here. Everything’s gonna be okay.”
You want to believe him. You really do. But all you can focus on is how your breathing is coming in short, shaky bursts, how your fingers are gripping his shirt like he’s the only thing keeping you tethered to the ground.
What fcks you up the most, though? The fact that he doesn’t care. Not in a bad way, but in a way that makes your chest ache. You’re standing here, falling apart—messy, broken, so not okay—and yet, he’s holding you like you’re still worth something. Like he’d do this a thousand times over if it meant you didn’t have to go through it alone.
And maybe… just maybe… that’s enough for now.
“C’mere, let’s sit and talk, yeah? Nothing’s wrong, especially when I’m here.”
Anton doesn’t wait for you to agree—he just scoops you up like you weigh nothing, and you cling to him like a damn koala, arms wrapped tight around his shoulders. He settles onto the couch, pulling you onto his lap, but before you can bury yourself back into his chest, he gently tilts your face up, wiping away your tears with his thumb. Not that it does much, since they just keep coming.
You sniffle, taking a shaky breath. “I can’t find a job… And I don’t want to stay financially dependent on you. I don’t want to be a burden. Everybody’s so mean. Jiah won’t even talk to me anymore because she thinks it’s embarrassing to be seen with me.” Your voice cracks, but you force the words out anyway. “Are you… Are you embarrassed of me too?”
For a moment, he just looks at you, his hands steady on your waist, his eyes soft but serious. And then, instead of answering, he leans in and kisses you. Slow, deep, like he’s trying to get you to shut up in the most effective way possible. His lips move against yours in a way that makes your heart stumble in your chest, and when he finally pulls back, you’re breathless and blinking at him like an idiot.
Anton smirks a little, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “First of all,” he starts, his voice firm but warm, “just because you aren’t getting a job right now doesn’t mean you’re dumb. It just means there aren’t enough of them. That’s not your fault. Second, you are not a burden to me. But since I know how much this is bothering you, why don’t you look for something temporary? Editing, content writing—there are tons of online jobs that could work until you figure out what you really want to do.”
He pauses, letting that sink in before he continues. “And Jiah? That’s her problem, not yours. She should be embarrassed of herself for acting like that. I’m just proud that my baby spoke up about it.”
It’s a lot. A mix of advice, comfort, and pure tonie logic, but somehow, it actually helps. You feel… lighter. Like maybe the weight on your chest isn’t crushing you as much.
And just when you think you couldn’t feel more relieved, he adds, “Besides, I’m gonna marry you anyway, whether you’re ‘successful’ or not, no matter what other people think.”
You blink at him. “Wait, what?”
Anton just grins, pressing a kiss to the top of your head like he didn’t just casually say something that could actually give you a mini heart attack. “You heard me.”
Your heart is a mess—pounding, fluttering, tripping over itself—but his hands are steady as he cups your face, wiping away the lingering tears with his thumbs. His touch is so gentle, it makes your chest ache in a different way.
“Does it feel better now?” he murmurs. “Now you know… sharing is way better than keeping it all bottled up?”
You sigh, letting your head rest against his chest, listening to the steady, calming rhythm of his heartbeat. “Yeah,” you admit, voice quiet but honest. “I think… I think I’ll share every time I feel sad from now on.”
Anton hums, pressing another kiss to your forehead. “You better,” he mutters. “Because I’ll always be here for my pretty girl.”
He tightens his arms around you, rocking you gently like it’s the easiest thing in the world to hold you together when you feel like falling apart. And for the first time in a while, you actually believe it.
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SENA’S NOTE : this is the second and third idea mixed together and might not have been a perfect execution of the request.. but I believe it's still better than posting nothing.. so thank you for requesting. ;0;
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#𝒮ena’s 𝒲orks ♡︎#⠀៹ 𔘓 riize ! ꞌꞌ ࣪#kpop smut#kpop hard thoughts#kpop hard hours#kpop imagines#kpop angst#kpop scenarios#kpop fanfic#kpop soft hours#kpop reactions#kpop drabbles#riize smut#riize#riize fluff#riize anton#riize imagines#riize x reader#riize is 7#riize is seven#riize reactions#riize drabbles#riize hard thoughts#riize hard hours#riize headcanons#riize angst#anton hard hours#anton x reader#anton smut#anton x you
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Boombastic
Just a short story while I try to get back into writing. Don't love it, but it's better than nothing 😁 Constructive criticism is always welcome. Find my masterlist here :)
Pairing(s): Nika Mühl x female!reader Word count: 1.3k+ Summary: You catch Nika watching TikTok edits of you.
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When you enrolled in UConn, your only plans were to play basketball and get a degree. You didn’t care about making friends or getting a girlfriend. You only really wanted to play ball, but you knew you needed to have a backup in case something happened and you could never play again. So a degree in communication it was.
It’s not like you struggled making friends, you just didn’t ever have your own little friend group. You hopped from group to group, always a friend to everyone, but never letting anyone get too close. Well, that was before you came to university. If you really thought you were going to be able to only be teammates with your basketball team, you thought wrong. Joining that team means joining a family. And thank God for that. You loved those girls to pieces and were happy to call every single one of them your best friends.
You were especially close to Nika, however. Which was a good thing, seeing as she was also your roommate. And maybe you also had a tiny crush on her, but no one needed to know that. Sure, you two playfully flirted with each other all the time, but that was all just a joke. To the Croatian, at least. You meant every single thing you said to her. Things like how she was the prettiest girl you’d ever seen, how her smile could light up the darkest rooms, and how if she were yours, you’d treat her right.
There are moments when you think she might like you back. The way she looks at you isn’t the way friends look at each other. Friends also don’t blush the way she does when you lean in close to mutter a compliment. But then you start overthinking it and make yourself believe that you’re just imagining things. Because there is no way that the goddess that is Nika Mühl will ever like you.
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You hum your favorite song to yourself as you walk through the hallways. You’d just gone out for some errands and were on the way back to your dorm. You wonder if Nika is already there or if she’s still with Paige. You hope she’s home, maybe then you two could finish the show you’d started a while ago. You quicken your step a little as you near your dorm. When you open the door, you take a step inside to see Nika already on the couch, her back towards you.
A grin appears on your face as you quietly put your stuff down on the table next to the door. You open your mouth to say something, but you know that wouldn’t do much. Nika is wearing those annoying headphones that you complain about at least once a day. They’re great for the person wearing them, the sound is clear, and outside sounds are completely muffled. They aren’t so great for the people around them, though. You can clearly hear everything the wearer is listening to, while they can’t hear you yell at them to turn it down.
You start taking off your shoes as you hear the song playing on Nika’s phone. You smirk a little as you recognize the music. Boombastic by Shaggy. The song has been all over your fyp all week, so you figure the brunette is scrolling on TikTok. Your face scrunches up in confusion when you’ve finally taken off both shoes. The song was playing on repeat. “I swear to God if she’s watching an edit of herself to that song,” you think to yourself as a mischievous grin grows on your face.
You walk over and pause behind her, watching her phone from over her shoulder. Your mouth drops open as you see yourself in the video. A smirk appears on your face as you watch Nika play the TikTok over and over again. You see that she’s already liked it and has it saved to one of her folders. You shoot forward, snatching the phone out of her hands as you quickly back up.
The brunette bolts up as she looks at you with wide eyes, her cheeks blazing red in embarrassment. “Y/N, give me back my phone!” She huffs. She tries to take it out of your hands, but you hold your arm away from her as you look at her cockily. “Damn, I look good,” you hum, pursing your lips.
“Y/N, please,” she begs, looking at the floor. You tap her profile as you check out in which folder she saved the video. “Oh. My. God… You have a folder with 102 edits saved of me?” You laugh in shock and amusement. The Croatian girl burns an even brighter red as she stops trying to steal the phone from you, having accepted defeat. She sits back down as she puts her face in her hands. “Shut uppp,” she whines.
You look away from the phone towards the brunette, your smile softening. “God, she’s adorable,” you think. Nika huffs as she hears you take a screenshot of the number and send it to yourself. She wishes the ground would open up and swallow her whole. Once you’re done, you throw the phone next to her, not looking as it bounces against her thigh.
You grab your own phone, saving the screenshot before opening your TikTok. After a few swipes, you put your phone back in your pocket as you look at Nika with a grin. Feeling her phone buzz, the brunette grabs it and unlocks it to check your message. She stares at the picture you sent for a few seconds. It was a screenshot of your own TikTok account, a folder with her name on it visible. The number “253” on display.
“You… you have 253 TikToks saved of me?” She says as she looks up at you, her eyes wide. “102 is a rookie number. I thought you liked me?” You tease as you cross your arms. She rolls her eyes as you walk over, a smirk forming on her face. “253 of me? People are gonna think you have a crush on me, Y/N/N,” she grins. You grab her hand and pull her up from the couch. Her cheeks flaming as you pull her against you. “Hmm, and so what if I do?” You say with a low voice as you grab her chin.
“I’m not sure I believe you,” she replies, looking up at you with doe eyes. “Is that so?” You mutter, leaning a little closer to her. “Mhm… Why don’t you show me how much you like me?” She mumbles back. She barely has time to finish her sentence as you pull her face towards your own. You kiss her hard and deep as you grip her a little tighter. When you’re out of breath, you back up a bit and smirk. “How was that for proof?”
She rolls her eyes at you, a grin on her face. You soften a bit as you look at her. You move your hand to cup her cheek as you rub your thumb across it. “I really like you, Niks,” you say, your voice barely louder than a whisper. You don’t care about the fact that you’re looking at her with vulnerable, desperate eyes. You needed her to know.
She grabs your face in her hands, pulling you close. You stare into her eyes, only being a few inches away from her. “Then why haven’t you asked me out yet?” She murmurs, her lips a small pout. You look at her in adoration and a hint of regret. “I’m sorry for being too scared to… Let me make it up to you? Dinner at 6 tomorrow?”
She grins at you, pulling you in for another kiss. “Deal.” You beam a wide smile at her before smirking. “So… Do you often watch TikToks of me on repeat?” You let out a deep laugh as Nika slaps your shoulder, pushing you away. You grab her wrists, pulling her back against you in a hug. “You’re a jerk,” she mutters against your chest. “Yeah, but you love me,” you reply, feeling her smile against your shirt. “Hmph,” she huffs, but squeezes you tighter.
You suppose those damn headphones aren’t so bad after all.
#nika muhl x reader#nika mühl x reader#nika x reader#nika muhl oneshot#nika muhl#oneshot#imagine#uconn huskies#uconn wbb#nika muhl x you#wlw fanfic#Spotify#BaPeach writes
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Northern & Southern European Dyes Palette(s)
It's been almost exactly two years since I made my Iron Age Palette. To celebrate that anniversary... No, you know what, actually not, it's a total coincidence 😅 I was working on a new thing and started wondering about this and that; to not bore you with the details, let's just say that one thing let to another and of course I ended up revisiting the very basics. So here it is! Not one, but TWO new colour palettes for our oldtime-y sims. Based on the lives of my Britons at some point in 1st century CE, shortly before the Roman conquest.
An important note: the southern palette is actually rather an add-on than a separate palette. As in, Romans would surely have access to the dyes from the northern palette as well. But as stated above, I made this whole thing from the viewpoint of a British Celt, hence we have two palettes: one with dyes which he could just obtain from native plants and the other with those he'd have to import. The southerners were more blessed in this aspect :]
You can download PDF files for both of those palettes and .txt files to be used in Paint.net (put them in Documents\paint.net User Files\Palettes). If anyone wants to help me out and make them useable in Photoshop too, please go ahead!
DOWNLOAD them on my Patreon! (always free, no early access etc.)
Apart from a bunch of visual changes (maybe the font will actually be readable this time? Gasp!), there's some new stuff in the palettes themselves (duh). Let's take a quick look, shall we?
undyed wool - hard to call it a dye, lol, but ofc it had to be here. The so-called primitive sheep of the Brittonic era looked quite different from what we imagine when we think 'sheep', and they most certainly came not only in white, but also in many shades of brown or even black. Perfect for making a colourful garment even without any dyes;
birch leaves - easy to obtain, easy to dye; almost no changes here, other than one added shade which used to be under 'mixed ingredients' before;
birch bark - OK, I don't remember where I took the old colours from, but I'm afraid I was being too optimistic. Birch bark gives rather pinkish than reddish shades; actually, it needs a looooooong soak and proper pH to turn anything but very bright, subtle pink. But it seems you can get them and they don't wash out that easily, so - there you go;
elderberry - here I was for sure being too optimistic, especially with that one pretty, saturated blue shade which got thrown away. From what I've read (and seen in photos...), elderberry is a very tricky dye, not particularly water- and lightfast. 'Not particularly' is mildly put - it just washes out in no time, leaving you either with a very pale or very greyish shade of the once vibrant colour. Adjusted accordingly (and they're still too pretty tbh);
apple leaves/twigs - that's a bit of a tricky point, because the Internet claims it was only Romans who brought apples to Britain. But at the same time apple cider was Britain's national drink allegedly already during the Celtic times. Heck, Welsh mythical island of Avalon literally means 'isle of apples', and mythology tends to be... you know... old. Huh? After a bit of research on the topic I'm inclined to believe that what Romans really brought with them were big, sweet apples and their organised cultivation; but small, tart, 'untasty' varieties did exist in Britain even before, growing in the wild. Perfect for making cider - or dyes 😉;
nettle - no changes here. Easy, cheap, grows everywhere, just that the colours are probably not something you'd wear to a party;
hedge bedstraw - seems it's growing everywhere in Britain, so it's plausible the ancients would've made use of it;
lichen - aaaaalriiight, now, that is a big discovery! Beautiful shades and absolutely possible to obtain from the varieties growing on the British Isles. One of the most crucial omissions from my old palette, here finally in its full glory.
That was it for the northern palette. And the southern? Glad you asked:
weld - previously called 'dyer's rocket', but no one in the whole wide natural dyeing Internet calls it that. Beautiful, vibrant, very steady yellow; won't give away even if you overdye it with indigo or woad. It's native to the Mediterranean and while it was cultivated in Britain in later centuries, I have no reason to believe that was also the case in 1 c. CE. I dub it imported;
madder - I keep reading that it's giving saturated red shades, but I have yet to see anyone dye a skein of yarn deep red with madder only. All that keeps popping up in pictures are gentle, pinkish reds, so that's what I included in my palette too. The orange comes from changed pH of the water;
woad - OK, that's my most epic fail of all. To make a Celtic palette and not include woad?! Putting aside the whole matter of Britons possibly maybe but actually maybe not using it to paint their faces (a very controversial matter, let's not go there 😅), woad was the blue dye in those times. Indigo was far away and while it was being imported to Rome, afaik it was used mostly for painting, not cloth dyeing; and besides, as crazy as it may sound, woad seems to do the job better. Seriously. Higher water and light fastness. The question is, was it cultivated in Britain or imported? Just like weld, it's native to the Mediterraean. There is a British find of a bunch of woad seeds, from 1 c. BCE - but then again, it's just one find. So... Mostly imported but slowly being introduced to the Isles? Maybe?
mixed ingredients - the ingredients specified in the PDFs are given in the order they're used - that makes a difference! My biggest discovery of this whole natural dyeing research is that, surprisingly, vibrant green is the absolutely most difficult colour to obtain. That dark green you see at the bottom - so-called Lincoln green - requires super high levels of both weld and woad, and you must put your yellow skein in the blue dye asap - if you're too slow, you get a lighter shade, e.g. like the one above it. The Hightowers surely knew how to show they're rich, huh...?
and last but not least, the luxury dyes! Some imported from far away (turmeric), some from nearby lands (Tyrian purple), some even grown locally (there were saffron plantations on Sicily. True story), but nevertheless, all super duper expensive. Tyrian purple was actually legally reserved for the emperor only - even if you could, by some miracle, afford it, you'd probably get arrested if you dared to dress in that particular shade of purple. Good that lichens could always come to the rescue!
Guess that's enough of behind-the-scenes trivia, isn't it? Props to you if you managed to get to this point, lol. Have fun with the palettes and happy recolouring!
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Sources:
dzikiebarwy.com - in Polish, but the pictures should speak for themselves. Here you've got a post about dyeing with summer plants, including birch leaves, here - elderberry, here - apple leaves and twigs, here - nettle;
https://woolandpalette.com/blogs/news/making-vibrant-green-with-natural-dyes was my first step in finding out how to obtain a proper green shade with natural dyes;
wooltribulations.blogspot.com - dyeing with birch bark (here), another failed elderberry experiment (here) and overdyeing weld with woad for a deep Lincoln green shade (here);
www.jennydean.co.uk - an absolute godsend, especially two posts: 'Dyes of the Celts' (here) and 'Colours of the Romans' (here);
https://craftinvaders.co.uk/making-dye-from-lichen/
https://earlychurchhistory.org/fashion/colors-dyes-for-clothing-in-ancient-rome/ - on the posh dyes for the rich;
https://www.butserancientfarm.co.uk/gallery - except for the general vibe (*chef's kiss*), the 'animals and nature' section of the gallery has pictures of the 'primitive' sheep which they keep at the farm;
...and a bunch of others which I didn't save in my bookmarks 🙃
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You made me hate you
Part 4
Bucky x reader
Warnings: ok now they really hate each other, really angsty part and a lot of swearing (again)
Summary: A not so nice morning in the kitchen with Sam and Bucky
A/N: I couldn’t wait any longer haha so enjoy this part :)
Masterlist
Five months. Five months of avoiding each other like the plague. And when we do run into each other? Jesus Christ, even Captain America himself would bolt from the room.
Barnes has gotten a little more… how do I put it? Confident. In the wrong way. About three months ago, he was still trying to talk to me, still trying to convince me—just like everyone else. But I wouldn’t give in. I would never forgive him. Maybe after all this time, it seems childish, but I didn’t care. I stood firmly on my ground.
And once everyone realized I wasn’t going to change my mind, that’s when things started heating up. Barnes was starting to get so cocky. The worse my remarks got, the more he started snapping back at me. I could see I was driving him insane—not that it was my intention. I just didn’t want to see him. But since he was already there, I couldn’t stop myself from throwing sharp comments his way. Until, finally, he had enough and started fighting back.
“Fuck, Sam, I swear I tried everything. But she wouldn’t even let me get a word in. I’m so done with this. Guess some amends just can’t be made.”
I walked into the kitchen with every intention of ignoring Barnes and making myself a great breakfast.
“Morning, Wilson.”
“Hey, Y/L/N.”
I could tell Sam was uncomfortable, but that didn’t stop him from asking a stupid question.
“So, Bucky and I were about to go for a run. Do you wanna join us?”
Oh God. Pathetic.
Barnes practically choked on his coffee, barely stopping himself from suffocating (what a shame that would be).
“If I were you, I wouldn’t let him outside. He might ‘accidentally’ run over someone and then claim he was forced to do it.”
Oh, I knew that one was going to hurt. But it rolled off my tongue so sweetly that I couldn’t stop myself.
Barnes threw his cup against the wall. Sam flinched slightly.
“You are a cunt, you know that?”
Bucky stepped closer like he was about to throw hands. I got up immediately.
“What? You gonna kill me too now? Finally finish collecting the whole family, asshole?”
And he just stared.
Nothingness in his eyes.
I wanted it to hurt. I wanted him to feel exactly the way I did. But strangely, there was no satisfaction in seeing him suffer. It wasn’t as enjoyable as I had imagined. So much time had passed, my rage had only grown, and yet… I couldn’t put a name to that stupid feeling inside me. Oh no, it definitely wasn’t sympathy or guilt—it was just exhausting.
For the first time, I saw something in his eyes. Fear?
I didn’t care to figure it out. Not at that moment.
“Fuck you,” was all he said before leaving the kitchen.
I sat down with a small smirk but also with a hint of uncertainty (hopefully, it didn’t show).
“Um, so that went well?”
Sam, not knowing what else to do, sat down with me.
“Y/N, aren’t you tired of this?”
The bastard could actually read my mind sometimes.
“Despite everything, you two have a lot in common. He was under HYDRA, you had NEXUS. You really should—”
I couldn’t listen to him any longer.
“Despite everything? You mean the fact that he killed my sister? And HYDRA? NEXUS? We have nothing in common. I never killed anyone for someone else. No one ever controlled me like some brainless puppet!”
“Because Fury saved you! You little brat! You think you wouldn’t have done the same as him if Nick hadn’t stepped in?”
Silence.
A long, awkward silence.
I had no idea how to respond. And I sure as hell wasn’t about to admit he was right—even if he was.
“I wonder if you’d say the same thing about him if Fury hadn’t shown up back then. You need to get it together, Y/N, because everyone is tired of your shit.”
Sam stood up, looked at me, and walked out.
I couldn’t admit he was right. I couldn’t get rid of the fog in my head. That horrible memory.
I refused to back down.
The kitchen felt emptier than before.
Sam’s words hung in the air like a goddamn storm cloud, suffocating me, pressing against my chest. "Everyone is tired of your shit."
I clenched my fists. Fuck him. Fuck them all. They didn’t get it. They weren’t the ones who had to wake up every morning and remember that someone ripped their soul apart like it was nothing. They weren’t the ones who had to stand in the same room as the murderer and pretend like he was just another member of the goddamn team.
I grabbed a piece of toast and took a slow bite, staring at the shattered ceramic from Bucky’s cup still lying on the floor. Someone else could clean it up. I wasn’t going to.
The compound was quiet now, except for the faint hum of the fridge and the distant sound of traffic outside. I let myself breathe. But my hands were still shaking.
Then I heard it—the door slamming shut.
I exhaled through my nose, already knowing who it was.
“What the fuck do you want now, Barnes?”
Silence.
I turned my head slightly, and there he was, standing in the doorway, arms crossed, jaw tight. He looked like he hadn’t cooled down one bit since storming out of here a few minutes ago.
“I’m not done talking.”
I let out a dry laugh. “That’s funny, I could’ve sworn you told Sam you were done trying.”
His nostrils flared. Good. I wanted him angry. I wanted him to feel something.
He took a step forward. “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, Y/N.”
I shot him a look. “Oh, I don’t? Enlighten me. Please.”
His eyes darkened. “You think you’re the only one who lost someone? You think you’re the only one who wakes up every day hating the person in the mirror?”
That caught me off guard. For a second. But I didn’t let it show.
“The difference between us, Winter Soldier?” I stood up, stepping closer until there were just inches between us. “I lost my family. You were the one pulling the goddamn trigger.”
He swallowed hard. I saw his fingers twitch—just slightly. Like he wanted to punch a hole in the wall. Or grab something. Maybe grab me.
But he didn’t.
Instead, he let out a bitter chuckle and looked down.
“You think I don’t know that?” His voice was lower now. Tighter. “Every goddamn day, I think about the people I killed. I hear them screaming in my fucking head. And you?” He shook his head, his tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek. “You don’t even want revenge anymore. You just want something to be angry at.”
I stiffened.
He saw it. He fucking saw it, and I hated him for it.
“Go to hell, Barnes.”
His lips curled into a humorless smirk. “Already been there, sweetheart.”
And with that, he turned on his heel and left, leaving me standing there, fists clenched, pulse racing, and for the first time in a long time—completely speechless.
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#enemies to lovers#slow burn#marvel#the avengers#white wolf#james buchanan barnes#bucky x reader#bucky x you#sam wilson#captain america#i hate everything#i hate this#winter soldier#soldat#winter soldier x reader#winter soldier x y/n
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(MDNI WITH THIS POST!!!)
Thinking of cumplane
Please feel free to message me about cumplane AAAA
Need more cumplane mooties
Also if you're afraid to message first, feel free to comment and I'll message you first uwu
A thought for a fic below the cut:
Thinking of a fic where SQH and SY haven't met yet
Wherein SQH is a horny little beast and one of the things he absolutely loves is being degraded. So after he posts a chapter, he turns off his computer, grabs his phone, and disappears to the couch (that folds down into a bed) and waits for a bit, maybe scrolls through his socials or watches some meme videos
And before too long, he hears the telltale ding of a comment, and he knows it's SY because he's turned off notifications for any of the other comments, and besides, SY almost ALWAYS comments first.
And so he opens the comment and he slowly slips his hand in his pants and rubs over himself
And he's so *so wet* even when he's only a couple sentences in because he knows just how much SY 'hates' PIDW (why does he continue reading it???) and despises the author because it's so 'disgustingly written' and that's really fuckin hot
His most-detailed comment writer, his biggest hater (fan) telling him all about his shortcomings. (He honestly rewrote the entirety of PIDW + gave it an actual ending + updates it occasionally when SY comments to add in smth he said - simply to gift to SY. He just hasn't worked up the courage to message him and tell him all about it. Cause he has a big fat crush. He really kinda sorta super wants to ask SY out.)
Anywho, he imagines he's straddling one of SY's thighs - he doesn't know what he looks like but he imagines some nerdy but strangely alluring and somewhat strict-looking guy - and rutting against it as SY types out a comment on his latest chapter
He imagines SY stopping his typing every so often to direct his words and attention to SQH, just telling him how pathetic he is, how his writing is sub-par, how he must be such a nasty-minded person to write such extensive smut scenarios, how SY doesn't even help him get off, just makes him move back and forth until he finally finds his release.
And probably scolds him for making such a mess, but SQH can't help it, he really can't when someone is speaking to him the way SY is speaking to him-
And it's during his post-orgasmic haze that he exits the comment and decides to message SY (I reckon there's a DM feature and while SY has his DMs set to limited, they're open to authors and friends messaging him)
And he gives SY a time and address for a local cheap coffee shop. Not really fancy, but the only place he can afford at the moment. And he just says smth like: 'Meet up with me here, we can work out our differences.' His brain is too muddled to dwell on the fact that he has no idea where SY is from and that his message is honestly so vague and weird that SY is probably horrified.
He falls asleep pretty quickly, and when he wakes up, he sees the message he sent, regrets it, but then rushes to get ready cause HE GAVE A TIME FOR THE NEXT FUCKING DAY?! He rushes to get the alt version novel printed and grabs his best clothes, then he's out.
He probably takes the train, and he's glancing at his phone anxiously every so often, and he's late, but then he's there, shoving the door open to the shop-
He spots SY in the corner, just sipping on a coffee, typing furiously on his laptop, looking like he hasn't slept in a long while his eyebags are so big. Also his glasses are taped in the middle. (I personally think that SY is such a shut-in that he takes forever to go out and get new glasses despite being perfectly financially stable...)
And he sits down in front of him, and he plops his stack of papers on the table. He doesn't say anything, he's honestly really nervous now and kinda guilty about the fact that he's been getting off to this guy's comments but...wow. SY is actually fucking gorgeous. Well, to him. He has a few acne scars, but his face is otherwise clear, and there's the tiniest bit of chub left in his cheeks, yet his cheekbones are still pronounced. His eyebrows are perfect, his hair is short and silky and frames his hair perfectly. And holy shit he really wishes he could get a look at the body beneath the clothes. Because if the rest of him is like his face...he's totally SQH's type.
But he doesn't say anything. And then SQH goes to open his mouth and say smth and SY stops typing and looks up at him and slowly closes his laptop. He looks strict with the look he has on his face currently: Intense, sharp, tired, but focused.
And then he sighs and it all kinda melts away and he actually looks really awkward/anxious as he looks at the table, and SQH can see him fiddling with his hands. And he just mutters: "Look bro, those comments weren't actually meant to be that mean, and I came because I wanted to say sorry, and I'm sure there are reasons for it...idk bro you seem chill? It's your story, and you're human, and it has nothing to do with my thoughts and opinions and-"
And SQH just slaps the stack of papers and slides them over toward SY. "Dude. I know PIDW is crap. I have to pay the bills." And he's not trying to be mean or anything about it, he couldn't care less what SY thinks (but also he's internally screaming BITCH IF YOU DONT KEEP ROASTING MY STORY IM GONNA FUCKING DIE-) he's just pretty straightforward. (I think when he's nervous he goes quiet, and he'll ramble when he's comfy around someone.)
And SY is just like "???" And he flips through some of the papers and his eyes go wide and there's just this SPARKLE in them (SQH thinks it's the cutest thing he's ever seen and he wants to kiss those beautiful eyes) and he's like "Bro, is this what I think it is?!" And SQH nods and SY just wiggles in his seat with this stupidly huge grin and starts reading through it, and every few seconds he points out smth he likes, or smth he didn't see coming, or etc etc. And they literally sit at that table and make conversation about this alt PIDW and SQH is happy and SY is happy. And then SQH realizes it's been a hot minute and he probably should get home and etc etc
But SY looks absolutely upset about this because he NEEDS to rant about this alt version because he's so fucking in love with it and even messaging SQH his every thought isn't enough
So SQH invites him over (totally a great idea. Did he ever clean up the wet stain on his couch from...?) And SY is immediately like NO I CANT IMPOSE + he doesn't want the vibe to change and mess up SQH's writing, so he invites him to the hotel he's staying at and SQH is so relieved and immediately says YES
And they pack their stuff up and go outside and he starts walking in the direction of the train station when he hears a beep beep, and there's this luxurious-ass car that SY is getting into. And he tries (and fails) to hide his surprise because is SY rich?!
Upon arriving at the hotel, yeah, yeah he's rich. They're at the fanciest place in town, and they go almost to the very top. It's a large suite. And then SY apologizes for not getting a larger room, it was just really short notice, and SQH is just 'dobdoavd9svs9acs9svs9vxozv' malfunctioning.
Anyway, after he gets over it, they start talking about alt PIDW. Hours and hours and hours pass like that. It's a long novel, so suddenly it's 2 or 3 in the morning, and they're not even halfway through (SY is a really fast reader holy shit) and SQH realizes it's time for him to go home. So he goes to get up (when did they end up in the bed together, side by side?) And SY grabs his wrist because he doesn't want him to go yet he NEEDS to binge alt PIDW and suddenly SQH is tumbling down, right onto him.
Their noses are just barely brushing, their eyes are locked onto each other, and maybe it's just SQH but are they both red and breathing a bit harder?
And then SY just asks: "Do you like boys?"
And SQH can only nod once, slowly, and then they're kissing, lips smashing together, and SQH is decent at kissing, and SY is...not but oh well, and they're tugging at each other, and they're breathless, and when they break away from the kiss they're both panting and tousled.
SQH: Please tell me that wasn't just me (even when SY very obviously was a happy participant, he's still worried cause holy fuck is he really...?!?!?!?)
SY: Y-yeah. If you wanna? Or is it weird that like- I never imagined you'd be this...hot, Airplane-Bro. (And he's blushing and can't look SQH in the eyes) I kinda always imagined you to be like...idek.
SQH: Well...I'm not whatever you imagined? I guess? ... I don't think it's weird? I mean, you weren't exactly wrong when you typed your comments (he shudders at the thought) about the fact I'm just a...horny little bastard.
SY: Sorry. Heh. About that. But um. I guess it's a good thing you *are*? Right?
SQH: Right. So you're cool with this?
SY: Yeah, yeah. Definitely. Please. Oh! Uh, I just realized, um, names. I'm Shen Yuan.
SQH: I'm Shang Qinghua.
And then they're pausing awkwardly, briefly, before they're kissing again, and then the clothes are pulled off, then they're figuring out what feels great to the other, and they're just setting up a decent rhythm.
They eventually finish alt PIDW together. And SQH, once again brave in his post-orgasmic haze, asks to date SY. And then he also admits he wants SY to keep commenting with as much ferocity as usual. He explains why and SY just goes bright red, but he's so down.
SY does have to return home soon, but he makes arrangements for SQH to move in not long after (a couple months at MOST, which were spent traveling back and forth by SY) - "Look bro, I absolutely need any updates to the alt, any insights, any brainstorming, to be said aloud IMMEDIATELY" - "You just want the great sex and cuddles" (SQH has become very teasing very quickly, and very confident in his sexuality, tho SY is still rather shy about it) - and SY goes bright red as usual XD
If you've read this far, PLEASE MESSAGE ME OH MY GOD. I NEED TO RANT ABOUT CUMPLANE MORE. And also if I do write fics for them I'll send you snippets. :3
And yeah. *thumbs up*
Have I fed you well, gremlins???
One last note: T4T cumplane my beloved
(SQH is on T and has had a breast reduction, SY is on T and has had top surgery but no bottom surgery, which he's still deciding if he wants or not.)
(ALSO - they do get to degrading eventually but SY is very nervous about it at first aha)
#b18#cumplane#scumbag self saving system#scumbag system#scum villian self saving system#scumbag villain#scum villain#shen yuan x shang qinghua#shang qinghua#shen yuan#trans sqh#svsss sqh#sqh#svsss sy#trans shen yuan#t4t cumplane#mdni#pidw
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So, this week's episode...
[spoilers below cut]
y'know, i've taken the time to calm down from what happened minutes ago and this might be the distraction i need. hey, the Karen and Swag dynamic is back (for real this time) and i got myself some instant ramen :)
(the following is my life reaction:)
hey luke, oh that's right the murder drones merch ofc
ah yes, just innocent child imagination. very nice :)
dude, it's good to see Karen and her kids again
THEY BROUGHT IT BACK LET'S GOOOOOO
and the corporation is at it again. OMG seriously leave Karen alone bruh
well, ig she didn't technically finish the job of killing Marty (nope i'm still not over that btw)
well we at least know what Karen has them under in her contacts, "Hitman inc"
YES YES YESSSSSSSS THE SMG4 KIDS ARE BACK BABYYYYYY
i have been WAITING for this to happen, i can check this off the bucket list
can they be friends PLEASE?????
oh hang on i gotta pull a Pitch Meeting (TM) here, give me a second...
Writer!Ink: "..And Frankie said that Beeg4 claimed the playground right before they did." Producer!Ink: "Wow, it's going to be hard to go against Beeg. I mean, this is the kid known to start fights with other kids to get what he wants, like that one time with the ice cream." Writer!Ink: "Actually, it's going to be super easy. Barely an inconvenience." Producer!Ink: "Oh, really?" Writer!Ink: "Yeah, because Zach is just going to poke Beeg with a stick and that should pretty much do it."
Producer!Ink: "If only we could do that irl... but wait, if they're in their imaginary world, could the stick be a stand-in for a sword or weapon in general? I mean, it was the same stick they used to execute that guy." Writer!Ink: "Well, sir, we're already pushing boundaries on what YouTube is allowing Glitch Productions to do. We're already doing the Knights of Guinevere and, with Dana Terrace and TOH team onboard, there's not enough in the budget to show a kid getting stabbed even though it's pretend." Producer!Ink: "Oh yeah, YouTube will definitely going to kick our ass for that. We got away with it last time with Terrence." Writer!Ink: "Also, death is sometimes not real." Producer!Ink: "...What?"
...let's just move on
sad moment for Beeg for sure, but I just like how he rolls around like that
Swag, my dude, no....
that was cute for Swag to call Beeg little buddy
EGGDOG NOOO (well, they are kids, they probably didn't realize how much it's affecting Beeg, even if it's pretend)
SWAG FLASHBACK? i did not see that coming
also these grown-ass men clowning on a kid, bruh how about you mind your damn business
this really sweet though and very on brand for Swag to go against a bunch of kids
*holding out for a hero shrek 2 version mp3 plays in bg*
yep, everyone in SMG4 has trauma 😀👍
"OMG IT'S SPIDER-MAN" *look at the camera* how did I get in this show? am i cory this whole time?
guess who's back from that call?
Swag, you're so dead. RIP already to you dude
(also weird how in the same week, the fandom found out that Kevin was going to be in a boxing tournament, huh...)
that R roll though, hold onnnnn
i really do love the switch between their game of pretend and irl
using a HIGHLY EXPERIMENTAL GOVERNMENT DEVICE on CHILDREN in a PLAYGROUND....
huh *sweats nervously* this isn't new, very on-brand for Swag to do, but... oh god they read my episode concepts /silly
honestly that's a good question Karen, finally someone says it
SWAG
This is giving "The Incredibles" vibes and i'm somehow here for that, hell yeah
PFFT HAHAHA YEAH KAREN FUCK THIS GET THEIR ASS
well Swag you did dare them to "stomp out" your spell
OH BEEG HE'S JUST A BABY 😭
YES YES THIS IS WHAT I WANT YESSSS
WAITER WAITER I WOULD LIKE SOME MORE 💳💥💳💥💳💥💳💥
*LE GASP* WE CAN HAVE SMG4 CREW MINI WITH ALL THE KIDS
...huh *to self, don't think about goop!4 don't think about goop!4 don't think about goop!4*
i'm going to point at whoever wrote this scene intentionally. you, yes YOU, if i'm thinking exactly what you are putting down, touché
OH SHIT GET THE KIDS KAREN
F in the chat for Swag o7 (ik he's not dead)
WOAH WOAH WOAH HOLD UP NONONONONO TEAM YOU CAN'T JUST DROP THAT ON US! ON ME!
oh fuck dude, that just slapped me across the face. "Reckless and chaotic", huh? WHO THE HELL IS THE KIDS' BIO FATHER? For all we know, this guy might be dead. divorce is an option, sure, but the way Swag's sacrifice caused a lot of destruction...
the implications, guys... i can't believe this...
ANYWAY Beeg4's little hops 💙 like father, like son
andddd Swag's not dead, i knew it. and in the sky just like Old Man who's also not dead btw :)
Congrats to choripandia for your art being featured in the credit 🎉 love the art, dude
.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.
omg... what an episode! This has been fantastic, honestly!!! Everything from the plot to the animation, all of it was SOOOO GOOD. It's crazy and wacky and I love it! It featured side characters the whole time, love those kinds of changes! and we got character backstories which WOAH that was a nice surprise :D
AND AND i get a dose of the Mini Crew? HELL YEAH
this has been phenomenal and I truly think this might lead to something. Aside from the imagery the Team likes to tease me and goop!4 theory with, this could lead to an arc, likely on Karen. A non-Mr.Puzzles arc, I'm all for it.
(and y'know me I would've called it the most non-Puzzles Puzzles arc potential of all times, that doesn't seem that it's linked to Puzzles in any way but it could be brought back bc character development. after all, Karen is linked to Marty, Puzzle Park, and the corporation and Swag to episodes related to IGBP. but for our sakes, let's not have Puzzles this time, it'll be a very creative challenge for the Team)
If there's no arc, that is totally fine! I am more than happy to just have more episodes like this without it being in an arc. not necessarily non-plot relevant bc of the corporation and Karen's mystery husband. it's still insane that the Team dropped that in for us and Swag's backstory like that. Amazing job, truly.
Now I know some people might've been confused about Mario being in the thumbnail and not in the episode. I get it really. According to Ben, he didn't see the episode itself until after its release and this thumbnail was what the Team sent him to do. It's crazy ik, but do understand that they're working on a tight schedule.
Take it from me: I work as a major editor for a publishing group (that i'm not going to specify) and we have to release a new thing every two weeks. It's not of "one team works on this and then passes it on to the next" like a factory production line. All teams are working at the same time and have to deliver at the same time, regardless of the amount they were given in the first place. And there are times when something's missing, we have to improvise (but still maintain good quality) just so we could meet the deadline. Even if we have good communication with each other.
Obviously for the SMG4 Team, they have a lot of things going on in their lives, other projects to work on, timezones to get through, and yet they still have the moment for this show. Perhaps when Ben was sent the request, they planned to have Mario in the episode but the writers (Aaron, Paul, and Wiz) decided to write him out. Who knows? Just imagine doing a thumbnail and then the group chat tells you to make a different one quickly before they release it. Plus, his computer is holding on by a thread from all the rendering, poor Ben
i know how that feels, man 😔 there goes my program crashing
For what it's worth, it's okay, the episode was still great. Thanks as always, Team. Anyway guys, that's all I have to say for now, really enjoyed nice little distraction. And remember: numbers go first!
I'll see you all next time!!! 💙
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"What if it weren't like that?"
...or I'd like to propose a different theory of what's going on in Edward's head.
Going into the S2 finale, I feel like there's once again a huge consensus that Edward and piracy are an unsustainable mix, and he has to quit. Specifically after 2x07 he knows for sure, 100% that he wants to quit, and he's pulling away from Stede because he doesn't know how to communicate that certainty to him.
There's a very established meta framework backing up this belief. It's not new, just everyone pointing and saying "look! - the show is affirming us" at the same time. And it does make a lot of points about foundational trauma, the violence of the lifestyle, etc. I don't need to break it down for you. If you're seeing this post then you've seen the arguments before.
The thing is... I'm not actually sold on this read.
Edward is a complicated guy and I love to try and peel back his layers, and I'm not sure that retirement is truly his endgame. And maybe more importantly... I'm not sure retirement endgame is quite the thematic crescendo it's being presented as.
So let's talk a bit about Edward, particularly in 2x06 and 2x07.
---
Edward's Ongoing Depression Spiral
The thing about backsliding - and the Kraken was a pretty monumental backslide - is that even if you gain a lot of ground afterward, you still might not be much further than where you started.
Edward believing change is possible with Button's 2x04 guidance + his & Stede's conversation about taking it slow at the end of 2x05 are both huge steps for a guy that was openly suicidal at the beginning of the season. However, in the grand scheme of things, he's pretty much cycled back to the dilemma he was facing in S1 - continuing life as it was is intolerable, but he doesn't actually have a solid idea of what he wants. "Stede" is not a real, actionable answer.
In S1, this caused him to run recklessly into extremes of vulnerability with Stede because Stede was doing something different. He tried to metaphorically cut loose his entire history - as a pirate, as Blackbeard, as Edward Teach - and become a new "Ed" with no baggage, who was free to live an endless vacation honeymoon with his new boyfriend. And when the consequences of their own actions came crashing back in - an abandoned Izzy, Spanish Jackie, and Chauncey Badminton - Edward's desperate actions to save Stede turned into over-commitment to a guy he barely knows, a reckless plan to run halfway around the world to escape himself, and then a truly disastrous downturn when that blew up in his face.
Wherever you go, there you are - except Edward hates that guy. Edward's only concrete want so far for the new direction of his life is the one thing that's impossible - to not be Edward Teach.
So now, back to contemplating the same unknown future he was trying to chase in S1, the Kraken Era has given Edward new perspective, for better and worse. (I'm gonna link my rambling BlackHands / Kraken Era thoughts from 2x01 - 2x03 just because.) He's learned caution and is dipping his toes in self-reflection - Stede's love alone is not enough to save him, and his self-loathing has been acknowledged. Reckless pursuit of change without growth was doomed - an important lesson both Stede and Edward have started to learn.
Unfortunately, growth requires looking backwards, and if Edward was already disinclined to that due to killing his dad, he's struggling so much worse now that he's got months of fresh atrocities that he absolutely did not need to commit.
---
Drowning in Guilt
Edward's core trauma that he flashes to constantly goes back to killing his dad that night - something notably not associated with piracy. That guilt is the root of his self-loathing, but Edward is a rather troubled grown man with guilt aplenty, especially after the first two episodes of S2.
In 2x05 Edward starts with a CEO scripted non-apology firmly recategorizing all of his Kraken actions as "whatever that nasty dark stuff was that brought us here... it's in the past", and then his discussion with Stede does not involve too much reflection on why this probation is necessary and drops this gem:
"Oh fuck no. Apologizing? Nah. Didn't apologize for jack shit."
However - demonstrating self awareness / growth - he's also clearly projecting guilt and a desire (that's almost too big to look at) to apologize to Izzy for everything, and then he honestly talks with Fang (who he's known for 20 years!) about how he can not be understandably mad at him, after Fang pushes back on Edward's toxic rewriting of Knife Parade. He even learns to sit with himself!
All of which makes the start of 2x06 so layered.
We open with Edward sitting with himself, looking out over the ocean and stewing in guilt - in order: his dad, the storm, Izzy's toe, shooting Izzy, driving the crew to mutiny - and then the conversation that Edward was haunted by all last episode comes to him. He's back in his leathers - playacting the penitent with the onesie and cat bell got old after a day, and he had never truly linked his probation rules with any of his earnest feelings of remorse. Just a necessary performance to appease the crew.
Now he's himself again, as uncomfortable in his own skin as ever, and Edward Teach apologizes for Izzy's leg. He isn't being demanded to apologize by Izzy (no matter how much he may deserve it). Izzy is fully prepared to pretend it never happened despite the evidence of his body. But Edward wants to - needs to for the babiest step toward his own peace of mind - and so he does.
And then he flees from one guilt and accidentally stumbles into another. Stede has so helpfully pulled all Edward's Kraken treasure into one place, and Edward lampshades it:
"Excellent. A reminder of all my guilt. A guilt room."
Now, Stede has a decent idea here. His "poison into positivity" bit is not bad (and it echoes the language Izzy and Edward used - though I think it's a tossup whether Stede heard about that or if the parallel is purely on a Doylist level). It definitely lifts Edward's mood for the day and pulls him out of his guilt spiral for a bit.
Until it comes back so much worse.
Ned Low. Oh fuck the implications of Ned Low.
So here's the thing. People have rightly observed that Edward broke Ned's record intentionally during Kraken Era. In fact, since he makes the comment about "We got a record to break" after the wedding boat aka the last ship he takes, and Ned isn't coming after him for a tie, presumably he set the new record and then proceeded to break it over and over again. Just to rub it in. Just to really piss the sadist off.
And if Edward's attempt to take the whole ship and crew down with a storm at his lowest point was bad, what he was courting by baiting Ned before the season even started was worse. This is a man who would have tortured everyone on the breakup boat to death when he caught up to them, and Edward was passively planning on letting him do it.
Edward knows this.
Poison into positivity just became "oh shit I forgot I'm the most poisonous thing any of these people have ever run into," and he's just getting started. It's hard to shove it down and brush it off and pretend it was no big deal when Stede starts getting the hot poker to the chest.
He doesn't want to kill Ned because he's not worth the poison, but the poison is already here.
When Stede kills Ned, Edward has already spiraled. He's already got a whole narrative in his head about how this is all his fault, how this is his poison, his guilt, his Kraken surfacing to ruin Stede too.
"I'm not a good person, Stede. That's why I don't have any friends," Edward chokes out.
"It all boils down to this - You're afraid you're unlovable," snarls Hornigold's ghost in the gravy basket.
"I hate myself," Edward realizes.
"Don't do it, Stede. Killing in cold blood" - like I did - "you can't come back from that" - like I haven't.
Edward's guilt is projecting all over this scene. He's made some baby steps toward seeing Stede as a flawed person vs mythical mermaid whose love can save him, but the idealization is still coloring both their views. Stede still hasn't told Edward about any of his childhood traumas or deep seated insecurities, and Edward has continuously avoided putting together that Stede is fucked up as well. He's convinced himself that killing Ned Low is a great tragedy that will permanently scar Stede's previously unblemished goodness in a way that is all Edward's fault, and he's sticking to it despite how completely it does not apply.
Reality has never been much good at breaking through his self-loathing before.
Izzy tries to warn him to give Stede a minute, but Edward doesn't listen. And while there's a good amount of concerned boyfriend in that act, I also suspect there's more than a little self-harm. Edward's spiraling about what he's wrought. He shows up at Stede's door already paralleling this to killing his dad. Of course he wants to be in the blast radius.
Apparently, having sex about it.
---
"Bye-Bye" Blackbeard, See You Again Soon
Last season, when Edward's ignoring his past went poorly, he tried to metaphorically bundle Blackbeard and all his traumas up and cast them into the sea. He was "Edward Teach Born-on-a-Beach," and then "No-Beard" who found folding stuff in prison fun, and then he's kissing Stede and getting excited about picking new, cool names for China, because:
"Our old lives would be gone. Dead. Never were."
Edward, babygirl, that is not how that works.
Now, he's actively backsliding down a guilt spiral, just had ill-advised sex a day after the "take it slow" talk that he's already regretting, and he gets up in the morning, pulls on another goddamn robe, and goes to literally bundle Blackbeard up and cast him into the sea.
Babe you already tried this.
I don't think it's a coincidence that disposing of his leathers signals Edward is back to reckless change instead of intentional change. He tries to make breakfast in bed despite never having ever made breakfast before and explains his twine as a panicked decision. The idealization of Stede is back in force - he chooses now to tell him about the mermaid vision - "fantastic," he describes him - and thanks him for saving his life. (Once again, in times of trouble, Edward is the one offering up rosy imaginations for their relationship that swallow him whole and Stede is shoving his recent childhood trauma flashbacks down to be Normal™.)
In the Republic, Edward does avoid becoming straight up jealous of all Stede's positive infamy, but he's also doing his hardcore all or nothing thing again - this time running away from himself toward a grubby, poor, "nobody" version of Ed (or do we think he's gonna try "Jeff" again?). Jackie calls his attention to how his new life direction (as of 6 hours ago) is not necessarily aligned with Stede's, and - rather than doing something as crazy as talking - he mutters "shit" and heads to the docks where Izzy finds him.
For a guy who felt "Fucking great" throwing away his leathers, Edward sounds kind of sarcastic, even if I'm sure he's feeling just as light as he was on that Naval Academy beach. But Izzy - going through his own shit but still trying to be supportive - opened this conversation with a joke about Stede and I suspect thinks they are talking about putting the "Edward retiring to be with Stede" plan back on the table. (Edward could clear this up, but he's still not communicating his emotions to Izzy.) So Izzy encourages him:
"Maybe you should listen to it."
Edward's face falls, he looks back down at the fishing boat, and apparently gets himself a new job. He just needs to go dump his boyfriend about it. They're simply incompatible, you see?
Edward's a fisherman now. He's gonna sit with himself until he finds a better guy in there, just like Fang taught him. (Don't blame Fang for this 😆 he just wanted Edward to stop talking!)
Now there's a lot going on in the breakup scene, but I want to talk about one statement Edward makes (keeping in mind he's already spiraled all the way into his new fisherman identity):
"I don't even know who I am! Alright, I know I don't want to be a pirate, but you..."
Because, see - I don't think the second part of that is necessarily true.
It's not that Edward doesn't want to be "a pirate". That's what he's using as shorthand (and a way to strongly delineate his new career from Stede: "Fishermen and pirates - they're nothing alike.").
What he's not saying is, once again, I know I don't want to be Edward Teach.
And, babygirl, I love you... but too fucking bad.
---
Better Piracy as a Theme
There's a lot of meta around about how Edward views piracy as a kind of enforced toxic masculinity. How his traumas are woven so thoroughly into his Blackbeard career that the thought of continuing as a pirate is killing him. He has to retire. It's the only way he'll truly be happy as "just Edward."
And I question that framing.
Like... Edward clearly has trauma tied up in piracy. His time on Hornigold's ship appears to have defined his (and Calico's Jack's) fairly fucked up approach to casual violence. His time as Blackbeard has enabled his poor impulses, and he is absolutely sick of piracy as he's experienced it the first time we meet him. That's not in question.
But while leaving is one solution, I think change is another.
In the OFMD universe, piracy is not a stand-in for toxic masculinity. Stede, an outsider, describes it as a "culture of abuse" in the first episode, but it's the culture of piracy where we see openly gay relationships, polyamory, freedom of expression in clothing and presentation, the oppressed having power... to treat piracy as inherently toxic is to deny that the culture of piracy is what gave life to Calypso's Birthday party. Our main characters are pirates.
There is a lot of violence and most pirates are very troubled people, but it's not piracy's fault. That's getting the cause and effect reversed. The "problem" with piracy and pirate culture is that the people coming into it and building this community are already traumatized.
As Edward points out to Stede:
"It's usually something like that. It's often family-based stuff."
(Also the problem might be the pirate Captains, lol. I mean, if you start listing the major drivers and enablers of toxic culture... Hornigold, Ned Low, Calico Jack, Blackbeard. Fortunate, then, that the crew of the Revenge is demonstrating that piracy can also be about workers' unions and supporting each other against your shitty boss while operating in a thriving community. He can play nice or get out.)
Oluwande tells us from the start that people don't choose to be pirates - they get forced into it by terrible circumstances in a terrible society. Piracy is the community that accepts the outcasts, but it can't magically fix them. They have to do that themselves, which our crew is showing can be done.
Stede did not swan in with all the answers, but he gave his crew the space and all the confused-yet-well-meant support they needed to strengthen their own bonds and community. Oluwande and Frenchie especially have been really stepping up in leadership positions. Like, the whole plot of 2x05 was showing they have successfully formed a union and that they will operate as a united front against their captains if need arises. It's so good!
They are living that better culture that Stede wanted so bad, and it's not just our crew.
Piracy influenced by the Revenge crew has been shown as helpful and even desirable to chase.
Hellcat Maggie and the rest of Low's crew don't sail off to get new jobs - they are resuming piracy but this time talking about profit sharing. Anne and Mary, our oh so aggressive BlackBonnet mirrors, retired from piracy together like Edward was dreaming of in 1x09, and what "fixes" them is burning it all down and returning to piracy (rejecting Mary's fears) with their love at the forefront of their minds.
Edward wants to leave piracy behind forever because he has depression and hates himself, but the biggest thing he hates himself for isn't even a thing he did as a pirate. He's pushing back on his Hornigold trauma from the moment we meet him - in fact, I have a whole other meta idea I need to pull together after the season about how he has potentially thought he was doing "soft piracy" in spite of Hornigold this whole time - but the guilt he feels about killing his dad is still too big for him to even look at. And that won't go away even if he could cut 20+ years of Blackbeard out of his chest.
He's bored. He was stagnating. He needs to address that knot of self-loathing before it successfully drowns him.
Maybe people are right and he could be the one pirate to find peace operating a bed and breakfast? Maybe he'll follow in Jackie's footsteps and stay connected to the community by running a gay bar or something?
But I also think, maybe, he has a community surrounding him, a home and love on the sea, and a career with plenty of aspects he did enjoy - sailing, fuckeries, luxuries, creative problem solving - and he might just need to join everyone in striving for a better culture?
And step one would be realizing that wherever he goes, he's still Edward Teach, and he's got to stop running from that fact.
#our flag means death#ofmd s2#ofmd s2 spoilers#ofmd meta#my meta#blackbeard ofmd#edward teach#character arcs#ofmd piracy#ofmd 2x06#ofmd 2x07#really wanted to get this one out before the finale because i imagine it's going to either support my theory or cut its legs out#and if it's the former i want the opportunity to be smug 😘#ladyluscinia
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he still has his tonsils. by the way if you even care
#sorry this is fucking UNINTELLIGIBLE but unfortunately i’m still on my bullshit about dr. daddyissues. yeah it’s gonna be all month#i am rotating episode 2.8 ‘the mistake’ in my head at breakneck speed. i am gnawing on it i want to swallow it#oh he’s such a lying liar who lies. charming little bastard. would rather die/lose his license than express one wholly unaffected emotion#‘he thinks not giving a crap makes him like house. like it’s something to aspire to’ quick question HOW serious do the daddy issues have to#be before you start latching on to fucking GREGORY HOUSE as a paternal figure and role model. really#even cameron is not down this bad. even WILSON is not down this bad.#the daddy issues of it all are very understandable though because even setting aside whatever went down back in childhood that shit his#father did to him in seasons 1-2 is SO messed up. jesus#imagine traveling all the way across the world to the hospital your son works in for a consult which confirms what you already knew: you’re#going to die of cancer in like 2 months. making a whole point out of stopping by to visit your son. not telling him what’s going on.#letting him spend a whole episode’s worth of time gradually coming to terms with his complicated feelings towards you (complicated on#account of a whole childhood of objectively awful parenting). the kid finally is able to try reaching back out to you. after YOU initiated#the contact in the first place. how do you react? well obviously by telling him ‘oh sorry i actually have to get in a taxi right now’ and#fucking back off to the other side of the world without giving him a chance to actually talk to you at all and resolve any of the emotions#you just dredged up. oh by the way you still haven’t fucking told him you’re about to die and in fact actively mislead him into thinking#he’s going to have the chance to try meeting with you again next time he visits your home country.#especially fucked up given that the whole reason it DID take your son so long to come around THIS time is that he feels like every time#he’s tried reaching out to you in the past you’ve just disappointed him by refusing to put in the effort to meet him there.#And Now Here We Are Again.#rowan what the FUCK is wrong with you. i want to dig you up and kill you again#house md#robert chase#caseyposting
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#okay I'm talking in the tags of this post cause shit is happening in my life and I gotta talk about it somewhere#one part of it is my step brother crashing and burning before my very eyes and there's nothing I can do to stop his own destructive actions#so it's just me watching this poor kid ruin his relationships and blame everything and everyone around him as he does so#despite the fact that he's undeniably been treated horribly at times- he's just turned that anger back onto others and himself#and I have no idea what to feel as I watch him get arrested. have drug problems. because I'm just waiting for the inevitable spiral#it doesn't help that my mom has been comparing us and saying that I'm the much better child and she wishes he was like me#not understanding that I could’ve been him if I was just more angry at the world at that age instead of being so sad and scared#and that leads me to my fucking mom cause like- I love her. we've been through alot of bad shit with her#I've almost done some really bad shit for her and I know that she loves me more than anything else#but it feels like its been getting more and more suffocating cause I'm not sure she's able to start seeing me as an adult#and start loosening her grip around me and let me breathe. to have my own experiences without her by my side#to be able to go places and imagine a future without her constantly by my side#she talks and it's like she doesn't even think to wonder that perhaps I want to form my own experiences#and experience the world on my own terms because I feel like I've spent my whole life having so little damn control#religious family. shit and neglectful father who turned into the exact opposite and nearly killed me. family who refuses to listen and talk#having to move and run immediately. put survival above all else. go to school. get out. and god I just wanna breathe#she loves me so much and I love her too. but I feel like I'll be sooner crushed if I stick here for long enough#I'm just mad that my life has been nothing but absolutely no love. sudden waves of intense love. absolutely nothing. sudden spike#and I feel like I'm just finally starting to form good. healthy relationships on my own terms and actually make friends#because I had no idea what I was doing when I was a kid cause I was so fucking lonely and hurting#now I just. gotta figure out how to tell my mom that I can't carry this expectation that I'll continue to stay forever by her side#it just feels like I'm her child first and a person second. and it sucks. it really sucks.#ough. spins and spins and spins and spins-
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when your friends unknowingly reaffirm your gender presentation 🤾🏽
#my friend is having a big party for her bday this year bc she missed out on her quinceñera because of reasons so this is the one to finally#make it up after all these years but it’s gonna be 1920s themed#and she wants us to dress accurately but AHEM!!!!!!!!! I have gender and gender freak outs when I have to go shopping so I keep telling her#to tell me what the color scheme is so I can start shopping now and not be miserable trying shit on a week before in the dressing room bc#this is an important event for her and I don’t wanna be drowning in a gender freak out#and she was saying like ‘aw i could imagine you in like suspenders and a top hat’#🚶🏽♂️she has never really commented on me being masc since I’ve evolved into what I am now#it really touched me when she said that🚶🏽♂️#also we were all talking what our ‘family dynamics’ are as a group and I have no insight cause idk why. mind blank#but they labeled her as the mom and I’m very ‘motherly’ too but they named me the papa and when I tell you🧍🏽♂️I was sort of uncomfortable b#still kinda makes me nervous to be Seen from people I’m not out too in that way but it also was very like 🕺🏽#you get me….#anyways FHDKDB
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caleb is 10 when he realizes that he's a physical touch fiend. the rush he gets when his hand lingers on top of your skin after playing with you is like no other. when he presses into your side while you're reading, his thoughts always circle around one topic: you, you, you. when you would run into his room after a nightmare, caleb was ready to swoop you in his arms and hold you until you fell asleep. every response towards you was involuntary.
caleb is 15 when he realizes that teasing 13-year-old you becomes irresistible. when he holds up your book, pencil, or some other item in the air, he watches as you jump up and down to try and grab it back. he's grown a lot in three years; if he had to estimate, he's a whole head taller than you now—20cm at least.
when you throw yourself onto him in an attempt to get your stuff back, he falters. you're laying against him on the couch, shuffling and moving up and down over his body, and caleb's breath hitches. you're so close and right there.
he's going insane. you can't even stand up for five seconds before caleb pulls you down against him once more, saying something about retaliation or revenge while tickling you to death.
caleb is 20 when he's about to leave for the DAA. there's an air of silence around the house. you've trapped yourself in your room more often, stressing over your senior finals. at least, that's what you've been telling him.
"i'm sorry caleb, i really need to study for this test."
"oh! i totally forgot about that project i had due tonight. shit, i'm sorry caleb. we'll have another movie night soon, okay?"
he doesn't know if you're actually this busy or if you're actually ignoring him. all he does know is that he misses you. he wonders about how he could miss someone who was in the room across from him. you were so close, but so far.
when you found out he was leaving—though you had a grin on your face while congratulating him—caleb knew you were devastated. he wondered if you were secretly mad at him for leaving.
two weeks before his departure, he practically forces you to be around him. he laid down next to you like before. he stroked your hair while you napped on the couch. he teased you and picked you up so you could hit him and grab him like you used to. he always chose to put his arm around you during a movie. he dragged you by the hand all around the neighborhood. he needed to all of that again, a thousand times more.
but at 24, it seems like there may have been a wedge between the two of you. calls are more and more infrequent.
"sorry, space signal sucks," he'd type.
"sorry, i was busy with training!" you'd reply, 2 days later.
he thinks that he would do anything to go back to before. he hasn't felt you in months. he sees you only twice a year.
it's hard. it was excruciating during the first few weeks. not only was he dealing with bootcamp, but he always found himself looking to his side, thinking you'd be there with him. at night, you were there, right next to him in bed.
he imagined that you would whisper words of reassurance in his ear. you'd hold onto him like you used to, when you had nightmares, and wrap your legs between his. there were days where we stroked his necklace, wishing that it was your hand instead. what he would give to have you next to him.
all he wants is to be able to feel you again. he chastises his 10-year-old self for taking you for granted back then. he wants to feel the apples of your cheeks when he caresses your face. once,—when he was 13 (you, 11)—he did that, and he thought you had a fever the way you warmed up. if he could, caleb would build a time machine to go back to that.
caleb is 25 when he is out of your life.
he thinks about you every day. it reminds him of when he was in bootcamp five years ago. it takes him back to when he was fifteen; you were on top of him, and his brain was fried to a crisp. caleb wonders if he's always been this way, because he can recall that at ten, you were still the only thing consuming his mind.
even during his arm repairs, you're there throughout all the pain.
when you discover his metal arm, all of caleb's instincts point to the door. he's spent so long trying to hide it from you: it's the constant long-sleeves (even though they made him incredibly uncomfortable), or making sure to only touch you with his left-hand (even though he wanted to pull you in with both hands).
but he stays. because it's you.
you freeze momentarily, listening to his writhes and moans of pain. caleb only notices you're there when he feels your hands brush his shoulder. he jolts back in surprise, and he sees you looming over him.
he stammers something, not even sure of what he said because you're here. you see him. you see it.
caleb's wanted this for so long. he wanted to see you again, in a state where you were both vulnerable, like old times. however, that moment probably wouldn't have come if he doesn't confess about this, so he relays the details.
you listen attentively, eyes wide with shock as caleb goes on. your hands wrap around his metal one, and he feels nothing. it's agonizing. he sees you examine him so gently. your fingers trace over bolts and plates of metal, lightly stroking up and down his arm. and caleb feels nothing.
how often has he dreamed of this? for you to be touching him again, so intimately and softly? he's stayed up countless nights wishing for you to be here, just so he can put his arms around you in a crushing embrace, only to be incapable of feeling you on one side of his body.
you pull away from his arm, asking if the fleet was accountable. when he doesn't say anything, he feels your weight lift off the bed and go towards the door.
whatever happens next is involuntary. he uses his flesh arm to pull you back, caging you between his forearm and his chest. there's no thought to it, no rationalization. it's just you and him. and he's been deprived of this for so long.
he breathes into the crevice of your neck, and he has half a mind to place his entire face there. he wants to breathe you in after being away from you for so long. no conversations, no contact, no touching. the last time he was this close to you was years ago. he needs this, caleb thinks.
the feel of you against his bare chest is something he cannot seem to describe. it's like he's his teenage (or even kid) self again, where he seems to short-circuit whenever he comes in contact with you. you're still small compared to him, but you fit perfectly like you did a decade ago.
he lets you go after he feels you trembling. you don't hesitate to place your hands on his waist and tackle him onto the bed. you catch him off-guard as you pin him beneath you, looking straight into his eyes.
"hold me," you plead, "with your right hand."
caleb lets out a shaky breath. there are voltages of electricity flowing through him—literally and figuratively. his skin sparks alive when he feels you. will it be the same with the metal arm?
slowly, caleb raises his mechanical arm. he wraps it around you, and feels the movement of your back shift downwards. you released a breath you didn't know you were holding. caleb held his.
you wait patiently before caleb starts running his metal hand up and down your back. you watch him exhale as he continues. you press your forehead on his, and you breathe in tandem with him.
caleb is 25 when he discovers that he loves physical touch.
wow like i didn't expect this to get so long... but like here we are???
i think we need to start embracing touch-starved caleb in all of our fics. this man hasn't seen the love of his life in YEARS (infrequently, anyway) so i think once she touches him (like INTIMATELY) for the first time in years he goes a little cray.
also sorry the ending was rushed i wanted to get this over with bc i intented this to be like 500 words but obviously it got way longer than that. what can i say... this freak has dug into my brain.
#love and deepspace#lads#lnds#lads caleb#lnds caleb#caleb lads#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace x you#lads x reader#lnds x reader#caleb x reader#caleb x mc#lads caleb x reader#lnds caleb x reader#caleb has taken over my brain like he's rotting it
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"you what?"
ᥫ᭡Theodore Nott x F!Readerᥫ᭡
summary: accidentally drinking a lust potion, you asked your best friend Theo for help.
warning: smut, cursing, unprotected sex, size kink maybe? cream pie.
word count: 2.4k
18+only; minors don’t interact
Navigation; masterlist; request rules
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“You what?” Theo’s eyes widened, you wanted him to do what? He wasn’t sure if this was a dream or not but if it was he didn’t want to wake up
Earlier that day , you had accidentally drank a lust potion.
How, you might ask?
Well the boys (Enzo/ Mattheo) thought it would be funny to prank Draco by giving him a lust potion as payback for pranking them earlier that week
At lunch the 2 boys were there first, taking their usual spots they slip the potion to a bottle of Draco's favorite drink and placing it on the spot were Draco usually sits
One by one the group gets to the table ,leaving you and Draco left.
Soon both of you walk in, but you seem to be in a rush
“Sorry guys I can’t stay and chat, I have to get back to studying, i’m just here to get some food to eat while studying” grabbing random things and the only drink you see left, you quickly stuff it in your purse
“Wait y/n!” Enzo saying frantically, giving Matt a worried look
You look up at Enzo as you start to zip up your bag. “Yeah?”
“We were actually saving that for Draco, um- were having practice later and that’s his favorite”
“Omg I’m so sorry! Here-“ as your opening you bag Draco comes behind you , going to sit down
“I actually got my own drink, y/n can have it” Dracos says while pulling out his drink from his bag,
Enzo’s and Mattheos’s eye widen.
“I- um, but we got it for you” Matt says with a bit of a shaky voice
“Its fine, I don’t need it” as he waves his drink showing the 2 boys
“But-“
“Omg thank you Draco, I really have to go now guys see you later” you say as you're walking away before the boys have a chance to take away the drink.
Both Enzo and Matt try to call you back but you’re already gone, both freaking out inside. praying you don't find out what they did.
While studying in your dorm you couldn’t focus for more than 10 seconds. Thinking you might just be tired from all the studying you took a break. Getting up from your desk you head towards your bed. Laying in your bed you start to space out
At first it was all innocent thoughts, school, weekend plans but then they started to shift The only thing you could think of was pleasure. Thinking of a certain boy made your cunt throb, making your body hot
Your hand slowly creeps down to your shorts. Slowly playing with yourself imagining it was Theo’s fingers rubbing circles on your clit.
“Oh god Theo” you moaned
but no matter how good it felt you couldn’t reach your climax. You were so needy and nothing was working. The rising heat from your body only made things more uncomfortable.
“God what is wrong with me, and why is it so hot” getting up from your bed you walk towards your desk, trying to find your drink, in hopes of it cooling you down . You picked up the bottle and before you can finish the drink you saw something written on the bottom of the bottle
“Payback- Enzo and Mattheo”
Your eyes widened with confusion.
What?
Then you remembered how the drink was meant for Draco.
everything started to make sense
This is why you were like this
You couldn’t even be mad at them, Your mind was clouded with the urge to get any satisfaction you could. all you wanted was any sort of pleasure but nothing was good enough. it started to get painful and a sudden thought popped in your head. Theo
he’d help right? He was really the only one you can go to.
Your heart was racing at just the thought of Theo agreeing to help you out, being best friends all these years you had developed a crush on him, of course you never acted on it because you didn’t want to ruin your friendship
Pacing back and forth your room, you finally decide to ask him for help. Nervously picking up your phone, you open Theo’s contact.
“Theo?”
“Hey Bella, what’s up?”
The nickname itself making you get butterflies.
“Um- I need a favor, can you come over?”
“Of course, i'll be over in a few”
“Okay see you” hanging up the phone, your thoughts begin to consume you
What if he says no?
What if he laughs at your face and runs off
What if…
What if he says yes…
Before you can continue, there was a knock on your door. That must be him. Slowly walking to your door, palms sweaty, you turn your door knob
“Hey, what did you need help with?” Theo goes in to give you a hug
Hugging him back, your nose is infused with his cologne
God why does he always smell so good
He lets go and looks at you closely, he moves a strain of hair behind your ear to have a better look at you. His eyebrows frown, noticing your face is flustered and incredibly warm.
“Are you okay? Your face is warm” resting his hand on your cheek
“Yeah, um actually funny story-“ Quickly leading him to sit on the edge of your bed, holding his hands as you begin to explain
“Please just hear me out. I know it's odd ,but I have no one to go to,- just please-“ falling to your knees, begging.
“Hey hey, breathe. You know I'm here if you need anything. Now tell me, what’s up?” Theo's eyes looking at you with worry.
“Please I- I need you to fuck me” you blur out
That was the last thing Theo thought would come out of your mouth.
You wanted him to what???
He was speechless, absolutely at a loss of words. jaw wide open
“Please, I'm sorry for asking you for this, I know it’s a lot and we’re best friends. But please I can’t take it anymore. I accidentally drank something that wasn’t meant to me and it had this effect on me. I’ve tried everything but nothing is working. I need your help please” your face heating up from embarrassment . I mean you only ever had the biggest crush on your best friend for years, but what you didn’t know was that so did Theo.
Theo had dreamt of the day he got to be with you.
How’d he spend hours pleasuring himself of the thought of you under him, on top of him and how good you’d take him in your mouth. God, was he hard the second you asked him to help you out.
How could he say no?
Without another thought he picked you up from the floor. Sitting down back on your bed while you straddled his lap.
Looking into your eyes, moving a piece of your hair behind your ear, resting his hand on your cheek, he leaded in.
Your soft lips on his, both whimpering into the intense kiss. Licking your bottom lip asking for access. You gladly gave it to him.
Slowly rocking your hips on his clothed boner, trying to find any friction to satisfy you.
Slowly laying you down your bed, taking off your clothes until you were left in nothing but your matching black lace set.
“Don’t worry Bella, i’ll take good care of you” Theo whispers as he starts to leave a trail of kisses down your body
“Theo please~” you pleaded, needing to feel something, anything.
“poor thing, you’ve must of been so uncomfortable for such a long time, don’t worry i’m here now”
He stopped to look at your lying body, face all flustered, messy hair.
“God you’re so beautiful” he wasn’t lying, he���d always thought you were the most beautiful person he’d ever seen. Always jealous of your ex boyfriends because they got to be with you. But now it was his turn and he was going to give you the best you’d ever gotten, he was going to ruin every other guy you’ve been with.
Slowly pulling your panties off, dick throbbing at the sight of your wet glistening pussy. Trying to ignore his throbbing cock and focus on you, he gives you a sweet smile.
“You're soaking wet, so ready for me” leaving little kisses around your pussy, teasing. finally burying his face between your legs, painfully slow licks as he takes it in, savoring every moment.
As soon as you felt his tongue, you became a whimpering mess.
“Theo~ oh my god yes” moving your hand to his hair, giving it a little tug.
Theo couldn’t hold it in anymore, he started to devour you. eating you out as if he’d never get this opportunity ever again
“You taste so fucken good” he groaned against your dripping core. The vibrations sending you waves of pleasure
“More please, Theo! oh my god~” it felt so good, his tongue making you feel things you’ve never felt before with anyone else
“So polite, even when your so needy” Theo smirked as he sees how much of a mess you were for him
He starts so pump one of his fingering into you while eating you out. Soon enough you felt the feeling you were craving for
“M-so close, fuck Theo i’m so close”
He stops what he’s doing, getting up grasping on his zipper and undoing the button. Tugging his jeans and boxers off.
“Theo? Why’d you stop? I was so close” you looked at him with teary eyes. you were so close, god why did he stop
“Sorry princess, I wanna be in you, want you cum on my cock” godddd was he hot
His cock strung out his pants hitting his stomach , you were lost for words. In no world was Theodore Nott small, he was big- huge even. you’ve never taken anything close to his size.
Theo noticed your starring
“Like what you see?” A smile tugged the corner of his lips
“Don’t worry you can take it, I know you can”
You nodded at his works
He lined himself up to your pussy, tracing himself up and down, teasing you.
“You have no idea how long i've been wanting to do this for”
“Fuck ,Theo please, please fuck me” you whined
“Anything for you, love”
he slowly pushed himself into you. You both let out a loud moan.
“fuck, your so tight” Theo was out of breath.
You felt so good around him that he never wanted this moment to end.
“fuck Theo your big” you said panting
“You think you can take more?”
More???
“There’s more??” Looking at Theo with a disbelief face
He chuckled “i’m only have way”
“Don’t worry you can handle it, can’t you baby?”
“Mhm- yes yes, I can take it”
Pushing the reset of himself into you. bottoming you out. heavily breathing, getting comfortable with the feeling of him stretching you out.
“good girl ,You’re doing so well for me, are you ready?”
“Yes! fuck-please move, please” you begged
Brining your legs above his shoulders and laying them there. Gripping your ankles to keep you steady as he started to thrust into you. Both a moaning mess
“Fuck fuck fuckkk, Theo-” your eyes roll back, arching your back.
“You feel so good Bella, oh god-“ panting
“Your squeezing me tight- fuck”
One of his hands moving to your waist. fucking you harder now, unable to stop. His cock was so fucking good, hitting your g-spot every time.
“Fuck Theo just like that, don’t stop, don’t stop please!” Your hands holding onto your bed sheets as he rocks his hips.
“You like that huh? You like it when your best friend is pounding into you, god you look so beautiful, taking all of me like a good girl” he groans while leaving kisses on your ankle.
Your walls clenching at his words
He groaned again as he felt your cunt throb at his praise.
“Oh you like being called a good girl don’t you?” letting go of your ankle to grip your jaw to make you look at him.
“Who's a good girl are you?” Theo says as he speeds up his thrusts
Looking at him with half lidded eyes “Yours, all yours!!~“ you moan
“That’s right all mine, no one can ever make you feel this good, isn’t that right love?”
“Mhm only you, ah~ i'm so close”
“Cum for me baby, come all over my cock”
You were absolute bliss, god you’ve never seen fucked this good, yeah you’ve had other hookups but nothing can compared to this, to Theo
You moaned loudly, shutting your eyes as you reached your orgasm “im- im cumming!!” Your body shaking from the overwhelming feeling
The way your walls clenched from cumming made Theo on the verge of spilling. He continues to thrust into you through your first orgasm. He didn’t expect you make such a mess all over his dick, your cum spilling out of you as he thrusts into you
You felt Theo twitch inside of you, knowing he’s close you moved his hand from your waist to your breasts.
“Mmm so soft…” Theo whispered. leaning down, putting his tongue on your nipple, swirling it around. “Mmm Theo that feels good” throwing your head back from a little act. Theo was soon approaching his climax.
“Fuckk- can I cum inside of you? please oh god I can’t hold it anymore, please? Fuck-” Theo begged as he tried to hold it in, waiting for you response
“Yes!! fuck Theo cum inside me” you practically screamed as you felt you stomach tighten.
He let out a loud moan as he spilled his cum inside of you. You screamed as you felt his warm cum spilling in you, triggering your second orgasm.
Theo’s thrusts became sloppy, riding out both your highs. He pulled out and laid beside you. Dizzy and breathless, taking a moment to catch your breath. Finally when you both got steady, you look up at Theo
“Thank you Theo, really”
“No need to thank me Bella, you can come to me for anything anytime” smiling at you.
crawling onto his lap you whispered into his ear “stay the night? I don’t think the drink has worn off just yet~”
This was going to be a long night for Theo.
ᥫ᭡reblog's & comment's are appreciatedᥫ᭡
a/n: Thank you for reading my first ever fic!! a special mention to @leona-hawthorne for being an angel and giving me feedback on my first rough draft. It helped a lot:)!! another honorable mention to @nottsangel!! Im that anon who mentioned writing their first story, hope you like it^-^ thank you both, your blogs have inspired me to start writing. xoxo
©lov3notts ,do not copy, translate or claim any of my writing or works as your own.
#theodore nott#theo nott#theo nott smut#bsf!theo#theodore nott smut#slytherin boys smut#slytherin#theo nott x fem!reader#theo nott x reader#theodore nott x reader#theodore nott imagine#slytherin boys#theo nott fic#theodore nott fic#theo nott one shot#theodore nott oneshot
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how would arguments go between simon and MOB? i imagine he would never dare raise his voice at her.
simon does not argue with his wife. if you are in danger or something is wrong, i could see him using a little bit of his lieutenant's voice just to get you to listen to him. to "get behind me" or "i'll take care of this, you go." otherwise, there's no resistance. none at all.
"you know, simon, i..." you stop at the door, swallowing. you rub a hand over your forehead, shaking your head. "i...i-i really don't want to go."
he shuffles in his boots, staring at you carefully. you're all dressed up; you've got a new dress on (that he bought you, eagerly), and you've done your makeup. you clutch your purse with clammy hands, and he narrows his eyes when he sees the tremble in your bottom lip. he clears his throat, taking his jacket off. he removes his boots quietly, scratching the back of his neck as he comes close to you to take your bag and hang it up by the door again.
"okay," simon murmurs. "then we won't go."
he doesn't tell you about the cancellation fee.
"'ello?"
"simon!"
he startles awake this time, holding the phone closer to his ear. the sheer anxiety in your voice cuts his gut sharp.
"wot? wot is it? wot happened?"
"i--i totally...i screwed up, simon--oh, god, i'm so sorry--"
"oi!" simon says firmly. "wot happened?"
"i...i'm at the shop, someone was going to back into me, so i swerved, and--"
"fuck," simon breathes. "are ya olright?"
"the car, it's--"
"not wot i asked," simon interrupts you. "are ya hurt?"
"w-what? i..." you sniffle. "no. i'm okay. just a little sore, i guess..."
simon lets out a deep breath, shaking his head.
"i'm coming," simon says lowly. "you stay there, baby. don't move."
"but, simon, the walk is--"
"i'll see ya in twenty."
"oh, no, no, no, no!" you gasp. the orange tabby's head perks up at the sound of your voice at the door. she's got one of simon's masks in her mouth, and even from this distance and without the lights turned on, you can tell the fabric is shredded to bits. it's all over the floor, scattered across the couch, flecks of lint in her fur.
"oh, god, how could you?!" you panic a little. she must have gotten into some kind of drawer or basket or the laundry, because as you start towards her, she darts away, leading you across the house where you can see shreds of more masks and simon's socks strewn about the house. "oh, no!"
the front door closes heavy. when you come into the living room, simon is there, dropping his gear onto the floor. he looks tired--his shoulders sag, and you can see his eyes half-lidded and barely opening.
"simon, i'm...i'm s-sorry, she--"
you're holding his tattered clothes, but before you can say anything more, he grabs you by the shoulders and hugs you so tight. you nearly lose your breath from how he crushes you to his chest, and you let out a quiet whimper when his knees buckle and he falls to the floor with you, cradling your head to his chest and kissing your forehead through the mask over and over.
you're here. you're real. you're alive.
you drop the shredded fabric and hug him back, closing your eyes as you breathe him in. he tips your head back finally, ripping his mask off and kissing you hard.
he doesn't care when he sees the orange cat take a bite of his thrown mask and run away with it.
he can buy a million masks. but his girls--he pulls back from your kiss to stare down at you, intense. he hasn't slept in days, and he hasn't had a decent meal in weeks, camping on different rooftops just to track a shipment, and when that bullet whizzed past his head, all he could think about was you. the cat-bitten plants. the warm food. the cherry dress. some things cannot be replaced.
some brides cannot be ordered again. they don't make them like you.
you are one of a kind.
#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#ghost mw2#ghost cod#ghost call of duty#ghost mwii#ghost x reader#cod#call of duty#order up
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rafe accidentally making a habit out of slapping bsf!readers ass and it becomes normal for them but he does it at a party or smth and nobody else thinks it's normal
ugh yes like it’s literally a goonfest between those two and everybody has to take a second look!!! im imagining s1 rafe here.. and his annoying friends… yummy!
rafe and you had a special bond, as you put it. truthfully, you were always a bit hazy anyway, eyebrows often furrowed in confusion when rafe’s discussing his business to you, or asking him to look things up for you. you wouldn’t call yourself stupid — just easily confused and sometimes unsure. so that’s where bsf!rafe comes in. he swooped into your life before you knew it, instantly attaching himself to the pretty girl who must need her knight in shining armor. you weren’t really sure how you got so close, but it happened.
it was innocent, for the most part. and i say that wholeheartedly. movie nights at your place, helping him babysit younger wheezie, going for ice cream. you didn’t act romantic, he was just like your bodyguard. well — your overly touchy bodyguard. his hands often found his way on your body to guide you through crowds and lead you places or simply hold you close when you were tired.
whenever you’d go somewhere without him, parting ways in your houses to get a drink and whatnot, he’d playfully slap your ass to shoo you away. it was meant ‘innocently’, or so you thought, but he did secretly love feeling it for the brief seconds he’d touch it.
rafe decided to make the brave decision of inviting you to one of kelce’s parties. you’ve been hanging off his arm the entire time, which earns some glances and whispers of ‘is that is girlfriend?’, only for the rumours to fizzle out when he’d be touching another girls waist whenever you were gone to the washroom.
sitting beside him while he deals coke on the low, he keeps his bicep around your shoulders as you chat up the people who want coke, because your sweet personality attracts business for your friend.
after about half an hour, you’re pawing at his salmon coloured polo and telling him that you’re gonna go get a drink. normally, he’d come with you, but he was in the middle of pouring a line for a girl with eyelashes that are falling off of the corners of her eye, so he just nods.
with a pat of your ass when you get up, sticking his hand up your skirt a little bit before you walk away, he barely notices all the confused stares in his direction. that is, until kelce is patting his back, saying, “bro! you finally bagged her, huh?”
he blinks. “the fuck d’you mean?”
“c’mon, man, smacking her little ass,”
“oh. no, we’re just friends, bro, just a.. habit, or whatever,”
topper chimes in. “dude, you don’t do that to friends. what, you hook up on the low or something? s’not normal to smack a friends ass, man,”
“me next, rafe?” kelce laughs.
“hey — bro, she’s coming, be chill,” rafe shoves his friends.
you come back and sit beside rafe again, blinking up at his annoyed face. “what?”
“no, nothing y/n, s’all good,”
“yo, y/n,” topper’s hand lands on your knee to get your attention and rafe pulls it off without thinking. “rafe smacks your ass, huh? think it’s normal?”
“gonna beat you with a golf club, man,” rafe mutters as you nod your head.
“yeah, why? he’s just teasing,”
topper and kelce laugh and you’re not sure why. all you can hope is that rafe doesn’t stop doing it anytime soon.
#౨ৎ isa writes#obx#rafe cameron#outer banks#obx x reader#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron obx#outerbanks rafe#rafe obx#rafe cameron prompt
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Pixar did not have to go as hard as they did with the Kronos Unveiled scene in The Incredibles (2004), yet they did anyway and gave us one of the best scenes in modern cinema. Literally cannot stop thinking about how good this scene is, from the animation to the build up to the soundtrack.
I don’t think I truly understood how dark this scene - and this film - was a child: Syndrome is systematically and strategically luring in superheroes and killing them off in order to test and improve his Omnidroid design… these people were not only supers but they also had family and loved ones too, just like Bob, and one day they would have just disappeared because chances are they weren’t telling people where they were going because it was "top secret" and against the law. They thought they were doing something good, like helping the people in the island, while also getting to relive their glory days, perhaps even paving the way for superheroes to make a proper comeback… only for Syndrome to kill them in cold blood.
Most of these people can actually be seen at Bob and Helen’s wedding in the beginning of the film - they weren’t just random supers, they were their friends, people they worked alongside and cared about. It’s even worse when you realise that Bob probably blames himself because, after all, Buddy/Syndrome was his biggest fan and he dismissed him by not letting him help.
The relief on Bob’s face when he realises Syndrome doesn’t know where Helen is - meaning he also doesn’t know where their children are because he didn’t realise they were married at this point - is so realistic and gut wrenching to see. The relief contrasting with the anguish of knowing how much danger they and their entire family could have been in the entire time without even knowing...it's so well-done, you can literally feel it.
It’s also worth noting that originally the next target wasn’t Mr Incredible but Frozone - that was who Mirage was trailing, hence why his location is “known”. Imagine if she/Syndrome hadn’t realised that Mr Incredible was with him and they’d lured Frozone in instead as planned; he would have gone to the island to fight the Omnidroid 8 in a volcano setting. We saw how being in the burning building dehydrated Frozone and made it impossible to use his ice powers - presumably it would have been the same in the middle of a lava filled volcano, and he’d have been slaughtered just like the other superheroes before him.
This scene shows an entire generation of superheroes - Bob, Helen and Lucius’ generation - wiped out all because Syndrome felt slighted by his hero as a child, because he internalised that slight and let it drive him to revenge. And, if we take into account the deleted alternate opening scene, it’s mentioned that superheroes "aren't supposed to breed” - meaning there’s a likelihood that Violet, Dash and Jack-Jack are among the very few supers of the next generation. I know that it's deleted and so not really canon, but it's definitely a concept to consider, I think.
Then there's the fact Syndrome named the project "Kronos" - Kronos was a God who overthrew his own father in order to take over his rule, and then he ate his own children to prevent them doing the same thing to him. It feels like it reflects Syndrome once looking up to Mr Incredible and even saying "I could be your ward!", meaning Mr Incredible adopting or fostering him - the project name is a metaphor for Syndrome destroying the Supers, especially Mr Incredible, who he viewed as a father figure. The Omnidroids he built killed two birds with one stone: not only was he able to acquire the data to upgrade the robot to its final design, but it also eliminated the real super heroes and so left him as the last remaining "superhero", even though his powers are man-made, not something he was born with.
Not only did he want to become the only remaining superhero by killing the real ones in revenge, he also planned to sell his inventions at some point so everyone can be super - because "when everyone is super, nobody is". It's like a final blow to the memory of the superheroes he had killed.
I've talked too much about this scene but God... I love it so much more as an adult because it's just so chilling to think about. I'm sure other people can put it much more articulately than I just tried to, but I just really wanted to appreciate this scene.
#the incredibles#pixar#disney#mr incredible#elastigirl#bob parr#helen parr#edna mode#syndrome#buddy pine#kronos#kronos unveiled#cinema
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