#really great time we're living in
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a.i.v2 ryuusei's outfit 👍
#art#traditional art#watercolour#fanart#vocal synth#virvox project#aoyama ryuusei#a.i.voice2#kurono takehiro#voicevox#god i love his outfit. im not drawing that jacket tho. although i do think its cool#am i insane or are masc vsynths and talksynths getting like. sluttier#ryuuseis the craziest like the full mesh top. thats insane and awesome. he should be in the clubbb#but even kirune had a little slutty mesh peakaboo situation for like specifcally his abs. and mykiv has his crop top situation#genbu is actually shockingly covered BUT. he did give us a little hip action. and in turn ryuusei gives us a lot of hip action#what are the other virvox characters gonna be dressed in. i need that old man to be [redacted]#really great time we're living in
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Found our own little space and had a blast with gods favourite band 🎉✨💚
#My brain hates me so much now but I really did have a wonderful time!!#I introduced my cousin and sister to green day when we were pre-teens and now we're all in our mid twenties and life sure flies by!#I need to travel more to visit these guys. And see more live music. Some pub gigs would be great#Certainly can't afford another one life this for a year or two 😂😂 nearly £30 for two drinks??? Criminal 😭😂#Green Day Saviours Tour#Spotify
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hulu was doing live coverage of the election until 2:00am, at which point my power randomly went out and when I reopened the hulu app on my tv the election coverage was replaced with
#us politics#I don't care if it was intentional or a coincidence or what that shit is funny as hell#I got like 3 hours of sleep in the past 48 hours#my closest friends are sleeping and don't know yet#we're going to dc a month from now on vacation and none of us expected this#I've been on twitter and it's crushing I see my friends in fear for their lives#I see the worst people in the world cheering for their own downfall because all they care about is someone else having it worse#like they'll douse the vulnerable among us with gasoline and pray for hellfire thinking they'll be safe#but the flames don't discriminate like they do and we're all going to burn#except for the wealthy and powerful of course they'll be polluting the solar system or dead from old age#and the only hell they'll ever know is the one millions upon millions of people eagerly built in their names#in the name of 'greatness'#(man I get really melodramatic when I haven't slept)#and I'm scared too I didn't think this was going to happen and I have no idea what the future holds anymore#and I know I'm privileged to be able to say this when people's lives are about to be destroyed but I think I'm more sad than anything#so disappointed that 70 million people voted for *that*#because it's completely unconscionable to anyone with a soul but somehow he's winning the popular vote for the first time???#what do you mean more people like him now than they did in 2016 and 2020#this genuinely feels like a nightmare are we really so far gone as a country??? as a society?????#that we would not only let a convicted felon (who was served a lawsuit ON ELECTION DAY) on the ballot#but that SEVENTY. MILLION. PEOPLE. would vote for him? to run the country??? to represent us on a global stage?????#*THAT'S* what we as a nation have chosen??? what the fuck is wrong with this country?????#why him indeed#and yet I still have hope#inexplicably
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lol not me crying because someone from my program texted me to ask how i was doing and that they hadn't seen me around in a while
#i don't really have any friends here so even getting a text makes me 😭#like i have 'friends' in the sense that i like most of the people in my program and i'm reasonably certain that almost everyone likes me to#but we're not close and we don't spend time together or anything#all of the people that i was closer with aren't in the program anymore and live elsewhere and they just don't stay in touch#and like i do just get very frustrated because in all of my friendships where one of us has moved away#or even when we're just like at different jobs or stuff so we don't see each other much anymore#i've tried SO HARD to stay in touch and aside from ONE person it always fizzles out despite my best efforts#and i don't think it's anything to do with me or them per se#but just sort of this broad dynamic of how our general society conceptualizes and (de)prioritizes friendship#which isn't what *i* want for *my* friendships#and there's also this dynamic of like. almost every single person in my program has a partner. and i do not.#and like blah blah blah amatonormativity etc#i try really hard not to let my brain twist it all into anything more hurtful than what it is#i know that's life and we're in grad school and everyone's busy etc etc etc#but it does really wear me down to be so alone and lonely literally all of the time#and to end on a lighter note: thank you to all my tumblr pals for being such great pals 🥹 you are so loved and appreciated 💛
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running a blog where i try to dodge spoilers from a show that aired 30 years ago is adjacent to extreme parkour over a pit of bubbling lava. while being shot at with arrows.
#regardless i love the joy discovering beloved media brings me#when things are loved for a reason and you get to experience that for the first time... yeah <3#that post that re-framed “you've NEVER seen xyz famous movie?” into “you'll have such a great time when you do see it!” changed lives#it's about the experience of sharing in something special as a group#and not the pretension of having a sort of base line culture level you're expected to meet before moving forward with life#anyway. shoutout to anyone else watching shows from decades ago in 2024 we are really doing it like no one else! i'm happy we're having fun#the x files#txf
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KILL!!!!!!!!!
#my post#this is so mean. why did i make this#but also....... the gun is in your hands now#i'll admit that it's my fault for putting the gun in your hand... however i've no say in what you choose to do with it#will you pull the trigger and accept whatever happens from now on? will you give yourself into the role forced upon you?#no one will know anything if you don't say anything. there will be no consequences or repercussions to this choice#but you will know. and you will need to live with that knowledge for the rest of your life#a gun not fired is like an itch not stratched#in the end i have no control over what you do... but free will is a funny thing#the brain is very susceptible to suggestion... everything we see and experience will remain with us in some way#if that's the case then how much control do we really have in our lives? how do we separate what we really want vs what we're told to want?#things like hunger... desire... they're all things the body asks for. but are they things that we truly want?#or are they merely a mechanism built into us for the sake of survival?#everything blends into everything. your past actions will inform your current actions. you're the only one who's ever lived your life#you're the only one who will ever live your life#little variables and experiences we all share... but the order varies greatly from person to person. everything is just a series of events#the way i see the world is different than the way you see it regardless of how similar they are#what choice will you make now? and how does it differ from the choice you would've made a week ago? a month? a year? does it differ at all?#does free will truly exist? i think it does... but not in the way most people think it exists#you and i... we might differ on that thought. or we might not.#regardless of whatever i've been rambling about right now... refusing to make a choice is still a choice you make. life is ironic like that#does one of them really have to go? that's for you to decide now#i've merely chosen to put the gun in your hand. to make you aware of the possibilities#so i hope you realize what power your choices have#dca fandom#daycare attendant#yeah sometimes i just say things that i think are deep but they're really not#i hope the choices i make have an effect on others. even if it's just one person...#if i can make even just one person think about something they wouldn't have normally thought about then isn't that a win?#life is a series of choices... ''it'd be great if you could see a figure of light by the time you die'' ♡
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WOW...............tf2 man. tf2...........................
#SPOILERS im gonna talk about my thoughts. vaguely#god administrator looks so good in like every single scene. the three panels where she [redacted] AAAAAGGHH#i think that's my favourite composition from the issue. maybe in the whole series.#it's definitely lacking in polish compared to issue 6 but in issue 6 literally every panel was a painting. so really this has been a return#to form. in the style of the first couple issues. and i think the style and colouring still look great.#GOD the opening. the opening. i love it so much. tf2 has such insanely good artists and writers for an objectively stupid as hell story#i love that the mercs get to retire. its so fitting for the time this issue is coming out in#they've been replaced by a new generation of team fighting games and that's okay....what's the matter mags....you wanna live forever...?#i had a lot of expectations for how pauling and administrator's arcs were going to go and im quite satisfied honestly.#idk tf2 can get away with a lot of bullshit just because of it's tone. i think pauling realizing that the reality she was in was just.#Fundamentally Stupid. on every level. and that's okay. that was really good. AND AGAIN REMARKABLY THEMATIC#she wanted it to be evil and all-encompassing and for it to Mean Something and it never really did. that's okay. it doesn't have to be.#sometimes you have to let it go.....and move on.........#i felt a little mixed on the child-rearing but again acknowledging that this universe is stupid it definitely reads as tongue-in-cheek#y'know someone isn't REALLY retired until they start settling down. and there's enough subversions to it that it keeps the kind of#bizarre and irreverent tone. which i so dearly love from these comics. and it fits for the characters that get it#engie also looked really good. man.#YAYYY............ it's over. it's done. we're all free. it's a smissmass miracle.#tf2#beepbeep.txt
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also "textless" versions of these, wahooo
#corned beef#joe iconis christmas extravaganza#bsol#speaking of >:3 & >:3 third time's the >:3 in successfully slammed both up against the window of joe iconis's car (twitter @'d & Seen)#which is really just a :3 but whom among us (orchestra hit) is not a little impish with it#first year i did fanart like wouldn't it be fun if joe saw & liked this. second yr like Same plus it did happen last time#then also recency Fun Times bias sure but he did make it a frame in his End Of Year Good Times Celebration video like >:'3#yes i draw exactly what i wanna draw b/c it's some specific thing i enjoy that much so Yep that is the xmas show to me#so powerfully i was moved like ooh fun xmas villain wrole?? in '19 when i was paying attention & relieved of some bmc closure malaise#by the xmas show but obv Least aware / knowledgable lol. technically showed up in '18 around nov/dec but no chance Right then of tuning in#i mean i had the capacity but did not know it existed / even Less helpful preexisting context. anyway so by the time the show returns#& i've done research in between & gone my god i am i live laugh loving like Yeah i'll do more fanart & omg cyril & omg krampusfucking#able to ramp it up this year & like just thanks to Drawing Experience i'm better at forging ahead through thee process even when it's#extra ambitious like my god am i in over my head? well keep swimming for the surface like only several times going [aaa....] only to yknow#not be that tripped up anyway but still go [(celebrate) christmas!!! (with me)] & be like Do It For The Krampusfucking Gift#one post for another like lighting up my life joe just coming out like ''who wants clips. first up Full Cyril Fucks The Krampus number''#like jeez made that happen And passed it along....it's always the like epitome of my art like i make the specific often really niche stuff#i really respond to; does anyone else enjoy this? if yes; Wheeee; sometimes this is also ppl Behind the really niche shit i enjoy#like i truly hope you do get that kick out of it as i slam it up to the window; worth a Highlight Of Your Year or not#the power of [i do like to Draw the things i latch on to] + [internet] for you#really the bsol design even More an event in ''how did i even do this'' b/c even when planning to make it slightly easier like well#fewer figures; i'll use ink pen so i hone the lineart less than i would to precisely get [line weight mostly irrelevant] Line Geometry#yet still going ruh oh i'm honing for sure. but then like did Most of the lineart all in one night + all the coloring the next round#when i draw quite slowly / the Honing is virtually always an inextricable part of my process like i do Nothing in less than Hours#like i think even my freewheeling bsol sketches posted just this morning took me at Least an hour; judging by vids i played in the bg lol#not quite calibrated to have Attuned Confidence In My Ability To Forge Ahead thusly like oh no if i don't have Momentum or it doesn't#happen to be one of those times things just spontaneously come out great right off without more honing / consideration we're fucked....#not actually the case but yknow still realizing this lol But still able to just pat myself on the shoulder like It's Manageable & it is/was
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Giving a complicated tragic childhood backstory to your favorite character is all fun and games, until you realize you need to account for how old all the other adult characters would have been at the time and realize that scenes that would work perfectly if one character was twenty three and the other was fourteen stop working when you need other characters who are played by adult actors clearly younger than they are to be in college at the same time so your story beats line up thematically.
#Don't worry. I made an excel document for this over a year ago#Was that unhinged? Yeah. But this is harder than you think it is#In unrelated news it is now reasonable to have a child in your 20s 30s or 40s depending on when the plot needs the child#Also people in their early 20s can be in grad school have already established careers and adopt children now. I've declared it.#Also: Hollywood stop trying to trick me into believing women in their 30s are the same age as men in their 50s. It's never gonna work.#I'm fighting for my life to make these age gaps normal even on a platonic level#Don't worry I aged the girls up and the boys down#But still this is a bit ridiculous#If you use the actors' ages it doesn't work. Garrison's actress is 16 years younger than Curtain. Why?#I mean I like the casting. But SQ is a teenager. We know Curtain has had his evil plans at least since SQ was born and lost his bio dad#and if the Whisperer is Garrison's invention that means she and Curtain were working together when SQ was born#If SQ in the show is 16 (the actor was older I believe) and Garrison is 37 (that's how old the actress is now she was younger at time)#That means Garrison was only 21 and Curtain was well into his 30s. And that's after you age SQ down and Garrison up for the calculations#So Garrison was likely (according to the shows' casting) even younger than that which begs the question what was Curtain doing?#Was he spending his 30s lurking around college campuses and high schools looking for a kid whose inventions he could steal?#What in the Marcus Cutter is that about?#All these jokes about Garrison being SQ's uninvolved divorced stepmom but nah she's really his estranged big sister#also this is very frustrating because the irl age gap between the actress who plays Number Two and Tony Hale only 7 years#but they're the ones for whom a 16 year age gap would have actually made sense because he adopts her in the books!#but now since Garrison is clearly so much younger than Number Two Curtain and Benedict I have to deal with this#(Don't worry I figured it out and made the age gaps normal. You just now have to believe Number Two is only a year older than Garrison)#It was the stress of living with her family that aged her and Garrison just looks naturally super young that's what we're going with.#And don't get me wrong:#I do like the actresses and actors they casted they're great but sometimes I google the ages and I'm like oh you cannot be serious#But we've (more or less) figured it out#Rant over#writing#writing struggles#tmbs
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i'm begging my uni to stop making every fucking student social activity something where you have to walk around a bunch if you are a slow walker who cannot help it they literally want you dead
#i try to walk as fast as i humanly can. which i shouldn't bc it hurts and makes me dizzy. and i'm still slower than everyone else#last week we divided into groups and had to walk to checkpoints around the city to do tasks#i had a friend in my group who knows abt my issues and they walked slower with me which was nice. everyone else walked like 10 20 meters#ahead and it was fucking embarrassing bc for every checkpoint they had to wait for me#and i felt bad my friend couldn't talk to anyone else in the group bc they were zooming way ahead of us and i'm the one who couldn't keep up#and like. they didn't know my body's fucked. but these are people i do not know well at all and maybe i don't wanna disclose my medical#history to everyone i interact with#and like this event wasn't mandatory. i could've skipped it#but it's every fucking time#most nights we end up going to a bar and to these people “walking distance” is like a half an hour. and they walk fast#i can never keep up#i don't reallu enjoy bars either and i don't drink but you just kinda have to endure to socialize. some days i can't handle it tho#this week there's another checkpoint type activity. i know i shouldn't. i know i'm gonna slow everyone down#but i got specifically asked and invited to be a part of a team. i can't remember the last time that happened#also we're doing a group costume and mine includes platform heels on the streets of a very old city i am so cooked#my friend is nice tho. they know the basic lore and check up on me a bunch which always catches me off guard 😭#i'm used to pushing through and also used to people not really taking my shit into consideration so i don't know how to respond sometimes#2 people in the group know the issues and i just sent the gc a “sorry in advance i can't walk very fast” so like what else is there to do#only accessibility info we're ever given is if it's wheelchair accessible. and that's good. like you should do that. but it kinda ends there#like how much walking is there. where are the stops. are there places to sit.#i love having to either push through or be excluded disabilities are awesome#been in soooo much pain lately and have to take breaks walking uphill. functional body#i live in an area where everything. literally everything. is uphill one way or another. so as you can imagine it's going great#also “you have to endure to socialize” as if i don't end up hovering around my friend like a lost puppy with separation anxiety anyway#the group costume is winx club. btw
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“well since i listened to Death on the Stairs naturally i gotta listen to New Love Grows on Trees and if i listen to NLGOT i HAVE to listen to Gin&Milk which means i should probably listen to Shiver (demo) which will bring me BACK to NLGOT which'll take me to Deadwood and if I listen to Deadwood I also need to listen to Heartt of the Matter and and”
#average thought process in this 🧠#okay so indulge me:#'pls kill me / oh baby don't kill me' -> 'should i kill you like you asked me to (but i really don't want to)'#'are you still talking to all of those dead film stars' -> 'you won't really see me i live in old movies'#'we're in it together so I'll love you forever' -> 'bound together sometimes reluctantly'#'finding reasons to stay alive not to die at 25' -> 'if you're still alive when you're 25'#'are you still shaking out all of the deadwood from your bed love like you used to' -> deadwood#'holes in my soul in tatters' -> 'i am no stranger to the coals I carry them in my soul they scorch my flesh and leave great holes'#NLGOT is really the one that shoots off in 5 different directions#i mean the calvary / film stars thing also ties back to You're My Waterloo#time for bed i think...
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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
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Oh on last rb's note my friend actually read love bullet per my recommendation hehe and she likes it and it makes me so so happy hehe
#kk rambles#when ppl actually look into the things that u rec or are interested in... wowie... hand in marriage (platonic) u.u#omg u actually were listening to me and remembered and looked into it... heart full of love crying tears of happiness...#that one image of the cat crying. that's me. that's me. planting a big metaphorical smooch on your forehead. i love you.#which ik it sounds silly but i get really moved by things like that ok!! my friend sends me alnst memes even tho she hasn't watched it#and it's like oh u were thinking abt me oh u sent this to me just bc i like it 🥺🥺🥺#I can't believe i exist in your mind even when im not there hehe icb u think about me im going to make pancakes for you in the morning.#we are getting a mansion together and living together forever.#everyone's love languages are a little different and mine are so weird lmao what do you mean i get so touched when ppl think of me#do you think you don't exist as a concept when you're not physically there do you think other ppl don't have object permanence lmao#oh wait#yeah it's the effect of dating someone who made u feel like u didn't exist unless u were initiating stuff n engaging w them /j#but my friends are so sweet to me rahhh#i love my friends#why are my standards so low when my friends are all so nice and treat me well 😭😭😭#so mad that my bsf is happily in a relationship (good for her honestly im v happy for her)#bc now I can't go like. if we're single at 30 let's get married. no homo. just that we've known e/o for so long it would be comfortable#it's crazy bc it's not like i want a romantic relationship but i hate feeling lonely but i also really like my own personal space and time#and I don't really like the small inevitable conflicts that arise from close relationships even though it's part of putting the work in#but i like a certain amount of stability and predictability (autism) so i think what i need. is a roommate.#a friend who lives together w me but in separate rooms but i can cook for them type cohabitation lmaoo#but that's kinda idealistic and kinda gay lmao#my friend called me a friend simp and my other friend joked that i should have a queer platonic cule.#like rahhh yeah i really do love my friends a lot i wanna see them forever they're great and amazing and i love them so much#it's nice to be loved!!! it's nice to be cared abt!!! my friends make me really happy!!!#ik from societal standards I'm a deviation and what i feel is more intense than what normal ppl consider friendships to be like but#I don't quite understand the categorization of human social interactions sometimes ig. why should i cap how much im allowed to love someone#if i love someone i want to see them happy and i want to do things for them and I'm not the type to half ass things.#but society is weird abt things and whatnot but it's fine as long as my friends understand and know i love them hehe#anyway love bullet arospec representation!!! let girls shoot people!!! /hj
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man.
#personal stuff#thorn plays genshin#man.#yeah. figured it would be something along those lines. but still. :(#interesting that it happened where it did! i thought that spot looked a little empty#going to miss him. good for him though.#glad they never showed us his face in full but showed us he's always had great hair instead!!#anyway LOVE how freaky they made ronova look. oh my god. cool as hell#also continuing butterflies as death symbolism!#the happy ending for natlan IS going to make me cry btw. they don't have to live in the shadow of the abyss... they can travel too...#mualani and kachina talking about where they want to go... waugh..#WAUUUGH. the complete turnaround from paimon. saying she's ready to start iansan's training plan#''if anything like this ever happens again i want to fight by the traveler's side!'' WHAT IF I CRY. PAIMONNN#also. we're at the end now and i was waiting for it so.#all that talk abt xilonen dying to create our ancient name led up to absolutely nothing. what was that for. it didn't even get mentioned#in terms of the future though. we're headed to nod-krai specifically chasing after dottore's subordinates who have the moon fragments#wdym they have a power there that predates the seven elements. what.#oh my god i went back to the throne. the music changed. collapses to my knees#really cool concept for the traveler's constellations. i thought it would just be like. consumable items.#but no you take them to the lord of night...#nice that they give us a little cutscene of us paying our respects each time#and we get to reread each flint's story!
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no im still on maffhew calling the forsymaffhew lovechild a missile
#txt#missile#i have also learned ive mispronounced missile all my life at least in american terms#wdym you guys dont say mis-AISLE#the culmination of living in city where we're all 1st/2nd gen immigrants whos primary language at home is not english#anyways male equivalent of rocket... missile#sorry my queer mind can't understand that#my gender is when we played house in 2nd grade i didnt want to play because i had to be mom or dad and i went well im only playing if i get#to be like the family dog and they all got nervous because that felt mean and the teachers would scold them#and i was like nah its fine check this shit out (runs around and barks)#my gender is when the classroom got seperated into boys and girls i staunchly refused and insisted i be in my own group as a joke and#everyone was okay w that because it was the height of lolz so random! and i was the poster child for that so naturally yeah thats#charming and cute yeah tumblr user ratatatastic you can have your own group and that was the class joke and it never felt mean because#it was a small sheltered school and weve all know eo since we were like in daycare#my gender is hey i volunteered at a pride festival and ive always struggled with expressing any sort of femininity and bristled pretty#badly because it gets beat into you and after the pandemic i chilled out a lot after sitting with it and this is all to say#i got partnered with a brazilian guy because i was the only one who spoke spanish on shift at the time and while he spoke 3 languages#(eng esp por) sometimes he struggled with how to say something and changed languages like he was channel surfing which was refreshing#because i do the same thing so it was this weird culmination of both of us code switching heavily and acting as translator for eo anyways#this is all to say when i toddled in no one really knew what to make of me pronoun wise and what he decided to do instead of just ask me#like a normal person he just he/him'd me and then proceed to call me good girl in the exact same sentence and i laughed about it at the time#proceeded to file it at the back of my head for when i got home so i could despondently stare at a wall for 5 hours of what exactly that#entails about me and why it didnt bother me at all and i was like huh the panic never stops thats fun you can just have random revelations#even when youre an old dog in the game at 23 and known your gender fucker wuckery since you were like 12 like oh great#conclusion is that i dont know why god sends me his toughest battles im a crybaby AND a whiner LIKE PICK SOMEONE ELSE ALREADY#anyways hehe missile#sorry we lost the thread here
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My friends don't hate me, they're just busy.
My friends don't hate me, they're just busy.
My-
#hitting that fun point where my brain starts insisting that my friends are secretly think I'm annoying#it doesn't help that I'm not getting an answer from like three of them?#which happens every so often#one of them (who was my best friend) actually ghosted me like 2.5 years ago and i'm still recovering lololol#the other two drop out of contact sometimes cause Mental Health Issues#it's just not helping that they both did it at the same time this year#one of them it was like less than a month after i flew out to visit her in person#so that's great#we're like two or three months into no reply from her#and my last friend from high school that still lives in the area doesn't really hang out without me setting it up#i realized that and decided to hold off on asking to hang out after work to see when she would start sending messages#one month in and nothing#i know it's kinda dumb to do the wait to set when they message first thing but I was kinda curious to see#i honestly thought she'd text something by now#instead i'm coming to the realization that maybe i don't matter that much to her?#maybe she doesn't even like me#when we meet up we talk about her work and life a lot but it feels like she doesn't pay attention when i talk about mine#like i'll be talking about work and she'll be on her phone texting her boyfriend#i've made some new friends but i'm no one's best friend#god i miss having a best friend
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