#really funny that my classes for each game have a pattern

[mournsblush]

the mage gameplay preview for veilguard is calling my name... welcome back fun da2 mage gameplay

[subaru-meteorlight]

I’m delusional about phaicae (hsr 3.0 spoilers)

I loooooveee the trend of cae always comparing phainon to himself and pointing out how alike they are, it’s soo cute…. I’m really glad that the devs acknowledge the fact that they’re both kevins in a way - it gives me hope that they’ll do something interesting with the 2 of them. For the first screenshot I’m aware that for Stelle players the 4th option just doesn’t show up but I don’t know if the dialogue choice in the 2nd screenshot changes- I asked my friend to check but if anyone else can check it for me it’ll help a lot!

It makes me happy that the devs are playing around with it in game… there’s already so many parallels between the 2 of them I’m kind of delusional about it.

The perfect hero, the perfect vessel for divinity- it matches well with cae who was made to hold the stellaron. The way they’re both bound by fate and exist to carry out their one duty, and are reduced to that one trait by other characters. And in phainon’s case, he himself is throwing himself into and leaning heavily into his hero role to give himself a purpose - vs caelus who tries to break out of this script by forging his own identity (insistence on using his galactic baseballer name), being more than just the stellaron’s host, consistent bizarre and unpredictable/rebellious behaviour just to prove his own free will

Anyway a bunch of phainon related things I wanna yap about and record somewhere:

Ouuughg. I love his eyes soooo much. It’s perfect… so bright and blue… it’s so unique too, w the ring and yellow centre… I interpreted the ring as clock marks at first but more accurately they’re sun rays, esp with the yellow pupil- it really looks like a sun in the sky. I love it. The ring pattern is also reminiscent of kephale’s symbol- that speaks for itself. It sorta contrasts mydei’s eyes as well… phainon feels like the daytime sun while mydei gives the impression of a harsh sunset. I really like how the sun ray patterns are inverted, too- phainon has his ring that surrounds the centre while mydei seems more like sunlight radiating out from the centre. If that makes sense lol. I don’t even ship them hardcore but seeing red and blue next to each other activates my neurons in a special way (I’m insane) also I’m phaicae main but even I can admit the entire castrum kremnos map was us third wheeling their gay fucking rivalry. It’s so amazingly funny. Incredibly hilarious.

We can also talk about this right. What the fuck. Hey. Why do you. Why do. Why are you. Why would you name yourself dark swordmaster. Hello. Phainon. Do you have something to share with the class. Hey. Of all names. Why would you call yourself dark swordmaster. Mr flawless hero deliverer and saviour of humanity. I’m watching you.

Besides that the whole battle dialogue was soooo fucking cute ARHHGHGG phainon and caelus doing their silly role playing goofing around mid battle 😭😭😭it’s so adorable, phainon was the one who initiates it and caelus plays along while mydei just gets pissed in the background leading to phainon talking over him. It’s comedic gold. Beautiful. I win. Even funnier is cae and phai having the same cn va so it just sounds like he’s talking to himself… actually listening to it again caelus does sound lighter and more joyful similar to high school kevin…. maybe the real kebin was the caelus along the way… ue

His design is great I really love the combined knight/hero/prince theme… his eyes being bigger compared to other male models also gives this friendly open welcoming vibe it’s ouughhh. so cute. so youthful. I hope the horrors get to him. There’s really no better word to describe him than ouppy. The first time I saw his design the one thing that really stood out to me was the asymmetry of his shoulder guards giving a light/dark half n half look to it… it’s interesting. his arm guards/gloves also have the same inverted black/white asymmetry to it (reaching). Choker. That’s all I’ll say. Actually no sorry the choker has me in a trance. I was gaslit into it by my friend because he would NOT stop pointing out the choker. Now I can’t not pay attention to it. Anyway. The design of the choker itself is pretty unique too, I like how it’s a strap(?) instead of the typical solid band, and the sun tattoo under the strapped parts giving the impression of the sun peeking/bursting through the darkness.

Second pic: I’m insane. I used to stare at Kevin’s design for an extensive period of time and I did the same w phainon. I have their designs burnt into my retina. Apart from them literally having the same colour palette I do like how phainon’s design is mostly white vs Kevin’s black base. (One of) my fav parts of kevin’s design is the lopsided blue belt. It adds sooo much. u get me. (deranged) phainon also having a somewhat lopsided belt made me laugh a lil (a lot) when I first saw it. As a normal person does. The belt along the bottom of the coat too……. wow……. welcome back…….. those 2 are my fav design aspects on kebin it’s crazy that they brought back those 2 elements in particular. crazy. you can make an argument for the boob window being vaguely the same shape too w how phainon’s belt goes across the low v neck. I really like that element on phainon btw. lopsided belt cutting across the chest and breaking up the light colour of his neck. scratches my brain in a good way

(From the verax leo statues) it’s sooo funny. he can’t get anything right 🔥 he really gives kicked puppy in these shots.

Misc: I went back to check Acheron’s trailer - the one with kevin’s voice - the eng va for kevin there is different compared to phainon’s eng va despite the jp/cn being the same. food for thought. Maybe union strike issues?

Future predictions: he’s obviously failing the nikador trial. Like no shit atp. I hope he has a catastrophic mental crash out from it. 🙏 3.1 probably big mydei focus as he accepts the coreflame. Excited for that… I do like what we’ve seen of mydei so far despite initially not caring from his design. Phainon better be 3.4 and not a late 3.7 like ppl are recently saying or else IM the one with the catastrophic crash out. Please. I hope we meet anaxa soon… I really wanna learn more abt him. Design wise- didn’t interest me at first. My interest in him solely hinges on the fact that he’s su, lol. On the surface he seems more like a haitham type…? Win for me, I love haitham… had the same process w haitham too- I liked him initially only cuz su but he ended up growing into a surprisingly high tier fav after I got to know him… I sorta have high hopes for anaxa too, I’m sure I’ll grow to love him too lol. Either way I can’t even pull any of these people. I need to lock the fuck in for e6 phainon. Tho- if I end up liking anaxa a lot I suppose I wouldn’t mind pulling him on debut- we’ll see how he is. Tangentially related: phainaxa pleaseeee please please please talk. please. Insane that kevinsu isn’t happy in ANY world. I remember the days of kaveh possibly being a kevin from his name but turns out he’s a new character - which I’m glad for, I absolutely love the kaveh we have now and wouldn’t trade him for the world - but holy shit dude. Back on topic: I hope phainon has the most disgustingly busted game breaking meta defining kit. like come on now. You have to. I’m not accepting anything less than stupid ridiculous numbers and scaling and game altering mechanically impossible unnecessarily bloated skill descriptions and all in game content gets centered around him for 7 months like firefly. It’s the least you can do.

Add-on: I hit the picture limit. You just gotta trust me on this one.

1) In the starting of the nameless faces op - the topless phainon- yeah. I watch it frame by frame on x0.25 spd as a normal person does but anyway what I wanna talk about is when phainon gathers the gold? Ichor? To splash on himself, the wounds that appear- those are definitely wounds, the direction it appears in doesn’t even match up to the flow of the way he splashed himself, isn’t that weird- the wounds bear an uncanny resemblance to nanook- it’s honestly way too close to be a simple coincidence. Food for thought!

2) the scene of Stelle changing into phainon as she turns around means sooooooo much to me. Sooo much. So much. Admittedly sorry I’m projecting caelus in this slot because wouldn’t that be so insane.

3) the ending where Stelle is praying(?) in the same hall that started the video, where soldiers were kneeling before phainon. I dunno there’s something there. Trust me on this. At the end of the story everything will be gone? Empty? Never existed? Take phainon’s place as hero? There’s something there.

4) the part w Stelle grabbing the quill and the arena collapsing in black and white goes crazy hard. I do think the overall amphoreus arc would be smth about rewriting the story/past - given the quill as a weapon - that’s genius btw, the weapon of remembrance is something that records and immortalises stories. I went off track. I mean to say, I feel the fact that the arena collapses to black and white has significance to it as opposed to it just getting destroyed in colour- gives a sense of time stopping, the fabric of reality itself collapsing, black ink on white paper being erased and rewritten- you get it.

[tobiasdrake]

The Hundred Line: Last Defense Academy 10 - DNA Pretzel

I can't believe Kodaka Kodaka'd me. Again. Again. Why do I keep letting him do this to me? I'm so mad right now.

She was truly the best of us.

Noble in spirit and in mind. A kind, brave, and generous soul who only wanted to murder one of her classmates. That's all she ever wanted.

Why do the good die young?

We get it, you're a veteran at this. It still sucks, y'know. That was a rich couple of hours filled with several minutes of amazing memories and also a lot of gross stuff too. Simply magical.

You've challenged her to fight you like three times already. I was under the assumption you already had.

Also, she's like level 86 and would fold you in half, my guy. I love you but dial back the Mondo for me.

She'll do it.

I have faith in her.

They wouldn't even be able to give us an event CG for it because it will be so gruesome.

Alexa made them WATCH!?

I don't know whether to be angry or impressed.

Hiruko, would you please fold him into a DNA pretzel? He will not be missed.

...uh...

No?

No.

Darumi didn't get cornered. She pulled the Leroy Jenkins maneuver and tried to 1v1 Ridley, which was a terrible decision. Uh, terrible for anyone without the level of experience that allowed Hiruko to brutally 1v1 Ridley a moment ago.

Having more people stand there and go "Wait, what? Did she just--" probably wouldn't have saved her.

OH SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU MANIPULATIVE PIECE OF--

--sweet baby angel ghost who made everything better and brought joy back into the LDA. I take back every mean thing I ever said about you, Alexa. But not the mean things I'm going to say about you in the future. I'm a bitch. Deal with it.

Yes, actually. In your haste to surprise us, you forgot to reapply the teeth pattern to your lip.

That's what we're all startled about. Definitely that and not the other thing.

XD Of course she'd be making jokes about her own death. Why wouldn't she?

Darumi is the fucking best.

Oh, it's a Blood Cocoon superpower. Neat! I will accept that at face value and interrogate it no further. I'm sure it's not a cloning thing or something.

Who would have thought that the matter-reshaping Blood Cocoon has necromantic properties? I never would have guessed.

The paranoid part of my brain is nonetheless convinced there's a trick to this and it's probably clones.

The even more paranoid part of my brain can't help but notice that Alexa's removing the stakes from combat at a time when most of the crew is afraid to risk their lives out there. I can see the play here.

But the long and short of it is that if any of us are in any danger of real, actual Permadeath, it's not going to happen during standard TRPG gameplay. It's going to be plot-relevant. That makes sense. I was wondering about that.

There's the teeth. Darumi quickly fixed her makeup while we were all distracted listening to Sirei.

No no no no no, hear me out. Hear me out.

We can hold an infinite killing game. We kill each other, we hold class trials, we take breaks to fight monsters, and then we kill each other some more. An endless cycle of despair and whodunit.

We can continue stabbing Gaku forever. And other people too of course. But like. We can spawncamp Gaku's recovery pod. It'll be funny.

Okay but like if we're immortal then do we care about that anymore?

So do I but we can still have fun with it, my guy. Let me stab you between the eyes. Just once. For funsies. You can do me afterward.

Really guys.

Come on.

You know what we need? A good ol' rousing round of killing each other. We'll do it battle royale style. A big gladiatorial massacre. Then when we all wake up in the Infirmary, we'll be over the hurdle, we'll all have experienced our first death, and we'll be ready for more.

Just gotta rip off the band-aid! Let's do it! Come on!

No?

No.

Okay. I'll just be over here with my brilliant team-building ideas going ignored.

[briefinquiries]

Luke Alvez x Reader: What You Deserve

Description: Feeling undeserving of luke's attention and affection.

Word count: 5.3k

Warnings: low self-esteem, negative self-talk, internalized fat phobia

A/N: I wrote this back when I was super insecure about my weight (i.e. this is how i felt about every guy i dated). but just saying i lowkey hate the insecure plus-sized reader trope and want to write better plus-size reader fics in the future, but this is all i have to repost for now!

You were ten when you sprained your ankle on the playground at school and wound up at the doctor’s office with your mom. The doctor was nice and distracted you from the pain in your ankle with some funny jokes. He even let you listen to your own heartbeat with his stethoscope. 

But at the end of the visit, once you had a splint on your ankle, he turned to your mom and mentioned the term overweight.  

“She’s on the high end of her age’s weight class,” he said matter-of-factly. And maybe it was just a simple matter of fact. You’d never thought much about your weight before that day. You were happy. You loved to play- especially outside. Your favorite game was capture the flag, but it didn’t matter. You were active and healthy. 

Your mom listened to his advice intently, because he was the professional after all. Who was she to question his word on your health? And when you get home you were immediately placed on what she calls a diet. 

“That means no more ice cream after dinner, and we’re going to cut back on the popcorn, too.”

And maybe the doctor was right, you started to think, as you took a long look at yourself in the full length mirror behind the bathroom door that very same night. You pinched the skin protruding from your stomach and watched as the fat around your thighs jiggled. Maybe you were too big, too fat. You thought of your friends at school and for the first time, (but certainly not the last), you found yourself wondering, why don’t I look like them?

“The diet will help,” your mom told you reassuringly.   

Except it doesn’t. Instead, you wound up gaining more weight, this time at a rapid pace, because you’ve found that when Mom says you can’t have ice cream after dinner, you wind up sneaking into the kitchen after she’s gone to bed and eating it anyway. But you don’t stop there. You eat some of the watermelon that’s left in the fridge, too, and some crackers from the cupboard. Just enough from each box so that she doesn’t notice, but enough altogether, that you go to bed with a full, aching stomach. 

This becomes a pretty standard part of your nightly routine until your mom caught you digging through the pantry one night, while she had come downstairs quietly for a glass of water.  

The look on her face was shock, followed quickly by disgust. You felt embarrassed and ashamed and humiliated. 

“I can’t believe you’ve been doing this,” then, “it’s no wonder you’re gaining all that weight.”

…

You’ve always had a difficult time loving yourself, you’ve always looked in the mirror and not necessarily liked what looked back at you. Sure, there were days where you thought to yourself, I look pretty today. But in the back of your mind there was always that voice that would add, for a fat person. 

When you’re in your twenties, you finally break the habitual pattern of binge eating that you’d been doing since you were a kid. As you ticked off the number of days it had been since a binge, you sighed. You really would have thought that by stopping consistently overindulging, you’d lose the weight. But that wasn’t the case. Instead, your body has plateaued. No more dramatic gains or losses- it just is. The weight, for the most part, stayed on.  

By your thirties, you’d come to an understanding, a blind acceptance, with your body. You didn’t always like it, but you appreciated it. Neutrality, your therapist had encouraged. And that was good enough. 

Regardless, you had other things going for you besides your looks and your weight. You had a great job and infinite career goals to focus on. Not everything had to be about being beautiful and desirable, you learned.  

…

Your favorite thing about being part of the BAU were your coworkers. You never expected how close you’d get to them, but before you knew it, they felt more like your family than anything else. Something about constantly facing life-threatening situations with one another created an everlasting bond encased in mutual trust. 

You and the rest of the team had a rare evening off, which normally, you’d spend waiting skeptically by your phone, convinced that you’d get called in for a case any minute. But not tonight, Emily had promised. All cases were on hold until the morning. You were sitting at home, contemplating what to do with your precious time when the text came through.  

It was Tara messaging the group chat, asking if anyone was up for drinks and a night out. It didn’t take long before Luke’s name came flashing across your screen next. It was impossible to ignore the butterflies fluttering rampantly in your stomach as you read the words that he’s typed. 

I’m in, he said simply.  

Luke was the newest member to have joined the team. Just months prior, he transferred to the BAU from the Fugitive Task Force. As soon as Emily brought him into the conference room, you knew all bets were off. He was tall and handsome, with a clean cut, thick beard and dark skin. While he was given personalized introductions, you had noticed his bicep flexing as he extended his arm out to shake everyone’s hands. When he was introduced to you, his large hand engulfing yours and his dark eyes scanned the length of you, and you knew instantly that Luke Alvez was a catch.  

It was pointless and childish and arbitrary, and you knew it. But you couldn’t shake it, no matter how hard you tried- no matter how many times you told yourself he’d never be into a girl like you. A fat girl like you, the voice in your head said. You tried to challenge that voice- fought back and argued with it occasionally just like your therapist had encouraged, but it still found ways of insisting that you weren’t worthy of attention or affection from someone like Luke. 

So, before your insecurities could convince you to decline Tara’s invite that night, you typed back a quick, I’m in, too. 

…

It turned out most of the team decided to join your night out. And it was fun, or it would have been, if not for the critic in your head being abnormally loud.  

Look how skinny JJ looks in that top- you could never pull that off. 

Don’t eat the nachos, they’ll think you’re fat. 

Eat the nachos, because if you don’t, they’ll know that you know you’re fat. 

As always, it was exhausting and all consuming- a never ending battle in your own mind. And while you knew your team didn’t give a shit if you ate the damn nachos or not, you couldn’t stop obsessing over it.  

You tried your best to enjoy yourself- to push those thoughts to the back of your mind, but it took effort. 

Tara had picked the spot, it was a small pub that serves drinks and food. There was music, but not so loud that you couldn’t hear each other talk. You sipped your vodka lemonade, the straw pinched between your thumb and pointer finger, and watched as Emily and JJ were taking on Rossi and Matt in a game of pool.  

Across from you sat Tara and Spencer. They were having an in depth conversation about Jean Piaget, when suddenly, Luke slid into the empty booth seat beside you. Your senses were instantly overwhelmed momentarily by his cologne, strong but not overpowering. His arm brushed yours, the warmth from his skin sending an electrical current through your entire body. You tensed up, if not just from the shock of it all. But as soon as you let your guard down, the voice in your head crept back in. He can feel how fat your arm is- pull away. So you did. 

If he noticed, he didn’t comment. Instead he smiled, his white teeth on full display. “Having fun?” he asked. 

You took another sip of your lemonade and nodded. “Yeah, it’s nice to have a night away from..” your voice trailed off as you thought of the word. 

“Crime? Murder?” Luke smirked. “Serial killers?”

You chuckled, “How about all of the above?”

Luke nodded. “They say crime never sleeps, but we finally will tonight.” He set his drink down and scratched his beard in contemplation. “I’m thinking at least eight hours tonight.”

“Eight hours?” you gawked, “You’re living large!”

Luke laughed. There was a brief pause in the chatter, and you took another sip of your drink awkwardly. You were about to make a joke about the competitive pool game going on in front of you between Rossi and JJ, when Luke leaned over and said quietly, “You look really nice tonight.”

You faltered, you didn't know how to answer, and you couldn’t even bring yourself to look up at Luke’s gaze, because you weren’t sure you could handle it. And while you knew that you should say thank you, you only curled into yourself as if what Luke said was just a snide, nasty remark. Compliments like that were so foreign to you and you felt like you didn’t deserve them, so you had a hard time believing that what Luke had to say was actually genuine. You knew he wasn’t the type of person to ever poke fun at another, but wasn’t that what made the most sense? He certainly wasn’t hitting on you- so maybe it was a pity remark, or just a way to fill the awkward silence. 

You ended up just offering him a curt smile, pretending that you didn’t see the way his face fell. 

…

You were happy most of the time. Not as carefree as some on the team, but still. You joked with Tara and Emily and had meaningful conversations with Spencer. You asked Dave about his weekends and listened with intent as Matt told you stories about his infinite amount of kids.  

But then there were days where you’re nowhere near that feeling. 

There were bad days. And when they came, they were always so sudden and unexpected, it almost took your breath away. 

You were away on a case with the team in Colorado Springs when you had your first really bad day in a long time.  

The case, for the most part, kept you busy, and for a while you were able to ward off the negative thoughts. Instead of fixating on how worthless you felt, you thought about the four victims that had gone missing in the area, you thought of the Unsub and ways your team could find them. You thought about ME reports and patterns in each abduction, it was enough of a puzzle that you were able to stay occupied.  

But when you were back at the hotel, the rest of your team in their own rooms, and left to your own thoughts, that’s when the quiet consumed you.  

As a child, you learned that the one thing-the only thing- that helped when you were feeling this overwhelming sense of anxiety and dread, was to binge. It helped you stuff the negative thoughts so deep down within yourself, that for at least a little while, you were numb to all the pain. 

You knew you shouldn’t- you hadn’t in so long. But just this one time would be okay, right? Only this once, just to feel a little better, and then you wouldn’t do it again. 

The battle inside your own head raged on. You took deep breaths, you tried to journal what you were feeling, but the feeling didn't subside. Only when there was a knock at your door, and you were forced to pull yourself back to reality, did the argument get placed on the backburner. You blinked back tears that you didn’t even realize were there before hastily making your way to the hotel door. 

“J-just a minute,” you tried to make your voice sound normal, like the debate going on inside your mind about what you were about to do would be obvious to whoever was at the door. You quickly wiped your cheeks and brushed your wrinkled shirt off before hoisting it open. 

“Hi,” you managed to smile as you opened the door. 

Luke was on the other side, to your surprise, holding two brown paper bags and a couple of bottled drinks. 

“Hey,” Luke answered, his eyes lingering on your face for a brief moment. You wondered if he could tell you’d been crying. 

“What’s up?” you drawled, as if to politely ask, why the hell are you knocking at my door at eleven pm?

“Everyone else was asleep and I was hungry-” he held up the bag of what was apparently food and shrugged. “Except, I bought way too much, I’ll never eat it all. Are you hungry?”

You gave him a confused look. “I-”

“It’s just burgers, some chicken and some fries, nothing fancy- but I didn’t want to eat alone and I saw your light on..”

You sighed, but then stepped to the side, a gesture for him to come in. Luke gave you a relieved look before entering your room. He headed to the bed, which was the only place to sit. 

“Do you mind?” he asked, motioning towards the mattress. 

You shook your head, “No, go for it.”

You closed the door behind him and joined Luke, barely noticing that the dread in your stomach from earlier had been replaced by a light, fluttering sensation. 

As Luke began unloading the greasy food from the bag, you hesitated. Was this a trick? Was he secretly trying to see how much food you could put away? Was he going to go back and tell the team how much you’d eaten?  

Luke picked up on your apprehension. 

“Is everything okay?”

You don’t answer quickly enough before he asked, “What is it? What’s wrong?”

Goddamn these intuitive profilers. 

“Nothing,” you said.  But somehow, Luke heard the lie. 

“I know I’m the new guy,” he said, “and it’s probably gonna take some time before you trust me, I know that. But I want you to know you can talk to me.”

“Yeah.. it-it’s nothing,” you managed to say, because you couldn’t talk. Not about this and not yet. Maybe not ever. 

“Okay,” Luke nodded. “Sometimes, it’s tough being the new guy. I can see how close you guys all are and I just want to be a part of that eventually, you know?” His eyes bore into your own and you caught a glimpse of the sincerity behind his words, and that was when you started to feel guilty for ever thinking he was here to make fun of you. Luke was here for a friend, for comfort of his own.  

You sat on the bed next to Luke and took a fry from the basket. “You are part of it.” You assured him. “Everyone here adores you.”

Me included, is what you didn’t say. 

“You wouldn’t be included in our group chat if we didn’t.”

That made Luke smile, his dimple evident in his cheek.  

He stayed in your room for a while, the two of you laughing and talking throughout the night. You never realized how much you didn’t know about Luke.  Like that he had a dog, for example, or that he grew up in Arizona and moved around a lot once he joined the military. He kept you laughing, his jokes and sarcasm thrown intermittently through his speech.  

You shared the chicken and fries with him, not even feeling self conscious when you reached for more to put on your plate. You were too wrapped up in whatever story Luke was telling and the way his eyes lit up as he talked about the things that interested him, to be insecure. 

Luke took the last drink of his bottled water before sighing. “I suppose I should head back to my room, and try to get a little sleep.” He lifted his arm and looked at the watch on his wrist. “I’m definitely not getting my eight hours tonight,” he laughed. 

You nodded in agreement, the two of you standing up in sync, and you walked Luke to the door. 

Luke stepped into the hallway before turning to face you. “Thanks for the company,” he said.

You smiled, “Thanks for the food.”

There was a brief, awkward silence, where neither one of you knew what to do next. But then, it happened quickly. One minute, you were studying the way Luke’s warm, brown eyes were trained on you, and then, before you could predict what would happen next, he stepped forward, one hand planting itself firmly on your hip and the other cupping your chin. He paused briefly, like he was giving you the chance to pull away. But you didn’t- and so the next thing you knew, Luke was pulling you closer to his body and his lips were pressing against your own, their warmth spreading the entirety of your body.  

Fat, fat, fat- your mind suddenly screamed. You suddenly became hyper-aware of his fingers digging into the soft, fleshy part of your hip, and wondered if he’d be repulsed by what he felt. But if he was, he didn’t make it obvious. 

There had to be a catch, you thought- some alternative motive for him to be kissing you like this. Guys like Luke didn’t go after girls like you. Fat girls like you, the voice said. 

He just wants sex.  

He’s not thinking straight. 

He’ll regret this tomorrow. 

You pulled away, breathlessly, your heart suddenly racing. Before Luke could suspect that something was wrong, you offered him your best smile. “I should get to bed,” you explained. 

Luke could sense the shift in your tone, you imagined that he wanted to ask what’s wrong, but you were already stepping away from him. Instead he nodded, trying to hide his confusion. “Okay, yeah. G-goodnight.”

“Night,” you whispered before shutting the door. 

…

Luke hoped he hadn’t fucked up.  

That was his first thought as soon as he saw the door close in his face. He bit his lips, they still tasted like you, and slowly backed away.  

His feet drummed against the cheap carpet floor of the hotel as he paced the few doors down to his own room.  

He really thought you’d liked him- thought you’d reciprocated the kiss even.  But judging by the look on your face when you closed the door, he thought that he might be terribly mistaken. 

He didn’t get his eight hours of sleep.  

In fact, he barely got any. Instead, he spent the night trying to figure out where the hell he could have gotten things so wrong.  

When Luke’s phone started buzzing loudly, he felt exhausted and not even close to ready for the inevitably long day ahead.  

Regardless, Luke got ready quickly. The one conclusion that he had come to after contemplating all night was that he wanted to find you and clear the air.  Despite his obvious feelings for you that were now right out in the open, he couldn’t risk your friendship, or making things awkward at work. Once he was showered and dressed, Luke departed the hotel in search of some coffee. 

He remembered that you liked it hot, with just cream and a hint of cinnamon.  This would be his peace offering, an apology for crossing the line, the promise that it wouldn’t happen again. 

…

You were answering a text from Emily on your phone, directing you to go to the ME office, when you heard a voice calling your name.  

Your head snapped up, and there, sure enough, like he was waiting for you in the lobby, Luke came jogging over. In his outstretched arm was a cup of coffee. 

“Hey.”

For a moment, you wondered if maybe Luke really was into you. A kiss one night and coffee the next morning? Surely that meant he wasn’t just looking for a hookup, right? 

You accepted his offering with a smile. “What’s this?” you asked dumbfoundedly.  Could you really be this lucky? Could he actually be interested in you? The butterflies in your stomach started flying rampantly as you quickly got your hopes up. 

“I wanted to apologize-” he said, his head falling, like he was ashamed. “For last night.”

Your heart sank. 

“I crossed the line, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Your friendship means a lot to me-”

And there it was. You were no stranger to the friendship line. Guys used it all the time as a way out.  After going on dates, after hookups- it was always the same response from them when they weren’t interested- I like you but I don’t want to risk our friendship. I really just want to be friends. I’m not ready for a relationship, can we just be friends?

To you that translated as, you’re not good enough for me.  

You were a fool for ever getting your hopes up- for ever thinking that someone like Luke could actually be interested in someone like you. 

You took the coffee and tried not to meet his eager gaze.  

“Don’t worry about it,” is all you could manage to croak out. 

Luke could sense the shift in your tone. “I really am sorry,” he said. 

But you shook your head, and feigned your best smile. You backed away from him, not wanting him to see the glistening tears evident in your eyes.  

Stupid, stupid, stupid, your mind was screaming at you. “It’s fine,” you said instead, your voice cracking slightly just as you turned to leave the hotel lobby. 

…

Luke knew he had fucked up.  

The peace offering that he had made was nothing short of a disaster, and now he’d have to come up with another way to make up for what he’d done. 

That much was obvious as he was left standing alone in the hotel lobby, gazing at the doors you’d just walked out of. 

... 

Three days later, on the jet ride home, Luke could barely get you to even look at him. Not that he had made much of an effort, but still. He wanted to give you space. Hadn’t he done enough damage already? 

He knew he’d have to think of a way to talk to you about what had happened.  Maybe if he just explained himself, you’d understand. 

But how was he supposed to talk to you when you wouldn’t even look at him?

He finally got his chance when the jet landed and the team was back at the BAU. He found you at your desk, hunched over a stack of paperwork. Rossi, JJ, Tara, and Spencer had already left for the night. Matt was gathering his belongings from his desk and heading out the door, meanwhile Emily was barricaded in her office with the door shut. If Luke was ever going to get a minute alone with you- it was now.  

He shuffled cautiously over towards your desk. You gave him no indication that you’d heard him at all, but nonetheless, he cleared his throat before getting too close. He didn’t want to startle you.  

You didn’t even look up from what you’re writing. 

“Hey,” he said. “Can I talk to you for a second?” 

“I can’t right now,” your tone is flat.“I have this whole stack I need to do before tomorrow.”

Luke felt frustrated and dismissed, but he bit his tongue. Instead of pushing, he grabbed half the stack of paperwork from atop your desk and took it back to his own desk. Before you could protest or argue, he sat down and flipped open the first file, ready to work. 

…

The entire floor was eerily quiet. Besides the occasional clicking of keys and scratching of a pen, you and Luke worked in complete silence. 

You felt bad. You really didn’t have to finish all of this paperwork by tomorrow.  That was just your excuse to avoid talking with Luke. But now, it was almost 1 AM and you were nearly finished with it all. 

You heard his pen click and you knew that was his indicator that he was done with his stack. Your heart clenched in your chest anxiously. You heard him approach your desk. There was a sudden thump when he threw the stack back where he found it. 

“There,” he announces. “Can we talk now?”

The man was persistent. 

You set your pen down lightly and sighed. Admitting defeat, you nodded. 

Luke pulled Spencer’s chair out from his desk, which was right next to yours.  He scooted it closer to you. 

Your gaze remained hyper focused on your hands, which were cupped and laid neatly in your lap. Luke ducked his head down, trying to catch your eyes. Begrudgingly, you looked up and made eye contact with him. 

“Listen,” his voice was soft, “I am really sorry for kissing you the other night.”

You groaned frustratedly. “Will you stop apologizing?” you finally said. “I get it, you didn’t want to kiss me. It’s fine- But I don’t need this- this pity.”   

Luke instantly looked taken aback by your frustration, but it was the most you’ve said to him in the last three days, so he took it all in. As your words played back in his mind, he frowned. “I never said I didn’t want to kiss you.”

“Well- whatever you did or didn’t say, I get it, okay? I get that it was a mistake and it didn’t mean anything. It’s fine.”

But Luke continued shaking his head. “I never said any of that-” he protested.  

You remained quiet, but he continued. “I never said any of that. Is that how you feel about it?” he asked, hands clasped tightly together. 

You shrugged. Your cheeks felt hot- you were insecure with Luke’s eyes trained so intently on you. You wished you could just forget this whole thing happened, wished you could just disappear. But Luke kept pushing.  

“Is that how you feel?” he repeated. There was a brief pause. “Because that’s not how I feel,” he said. “I don’t regret kissing you. I like you and I wanted to do it. And I thought you wanted to, too. If I had known you didn’t- I never would have done it. I regret making you uncomfortable, and I regret making things awkward between us, but I don’t regret the kiss.”

Luke’s words swam around in your head, but they were a jumbled mess. You tried to piece them together slowly, in order to process what he was saying. Did he just say he liked you?

There was a part of you that felt like this whole thing had just been a cruel joke.  But yet, here he was- sitting in front of you with the most sincere eyes you’d ever seen, and suddenly, you started to wonder if maybe this was real. Maybe, for God-only-knows what reason, Luke actually had feelings for you- was actually attracted to you. 

“You like me?” you asked, your voice low. 

Luke laughed- like actually laughed- and when you looked up at him, his eyes were squinting as his lips were curled into a wide grin. “Uh, yeah- I thought I’d made that blatantly clear.”

But you shook your head. “I- I didn’t know..”

“I kissed you-” he said, like it’s obvious. 

“I know, but I figured you just wanted to hookup- I didn’t think you actually liked me-”

“But I brought you dinner- and coffee. Did you think I just do that for everyone?”

You remained guarded, because you still couldn’t entirely trust this. “Yeah,” you said. “Kind of, I guess.”

“Okay,” Luke nodded. “Let me spell it out for you then. I like you.” He said each word carefully and slowly. “And I liked kissing you. And I’d really like to date you. And if you don’t feel the same, that’s okay. But I’d still like to be friends, and I’d really like for things not to be awkward at work.”

You stared in awe, not able to believe any of this was really happening. You wanted to ask why. Why did this handsome, kind, honest man like you? What made you even remotely good enough for him? 

But you didn’t ask. Because did it matter right now?

“Your turn,” Luke urged. “Since I seem to have such a hard time reading you, can you spell it out for me too?”

You hesitated. You’d never flat out told someone how you felt about them. You were insecure and terrified of rejection. And even though Luke had flat out told you rejection wasn’t a possibility, you were still embarrassed to tell him how you felt. You didn’t like how vulnerable that made you- how open to the hurt that made you. 

But Luke’s smile was so reassuring and kind, you tried not to think too much before telling him quietly, “I like you too. I have for a while, actually.”

He chuckled, which you think might just be your new favorite sound. “So why’d you pull away the other night?” he asked longingly.  “Why have you been so distant?”

“Because- I didn’t think someone like you would ever be into someone like me.”

The moment the words left your lips, you regretted it. And when Luke’s face contorted into a look of confusion, and then hurt, you regretted it even more. 

“What do you mean?” he asked.

You fumble with your words, because you weren’t sure how to explain. “I just thought someone like you would be more apt to go after someone that looked more like Tara or JJ or Emily is all.”

“What’s the common denominator there? Because Tara, JJ, and Emily look nothing alike-”

“You know what I mean,” you protested. “I thought someone like you would be more apt to go for someone-” you paused before saying the word, “someone skinnier than- well... me.” 

Luke’s face fell, but you laughed it off nervously. “Just makes me wonder why, is all,” you said. 

“I like you-” he assured you. “I like you because you’re smart and you’re thoughtful.”

Luke’s managed to scoot his chair increasingly closer to you without you noticing. When you looked down, you realized that your knees were practically touching. The first thing that ran through your mind is, oh my God, your thighs are bigger than his. But you shook the thought away. You weren’t going to let that voice ruin this- not again. 

“You’re intuitive- the best profiler.”

The way Luke was looking at you made everything else melt away. All you saw was him and those unimaginably warm eyes. 

“You’re kind and generous and you make me laugh,” he paused. “You’re beautiful.”

You remembered how soft his lips felt against yours when you kissed days ago, and all you wanted was to taste him again. 

Thankfully, you didn’t have to wait long for your wish to come true. Luke leaned in, closing the gap between you two. Just when he was only inches from your face, he grinned. “I could keep going, you know?”

You ignored him and his cheeky grin and instead you leaned forward, and without thinking, cupped his face between your hands and pulled him closer.  

His lips were exactly as you remembered, soft and smooth and all-encompassing. Luke’s hand landed just above your knee and when you started to wonder whether or not your leg felt fat underneath his touch, you were able to silence it. Who the hell cares? Certainly not Luke, that much you were learning quickly. In fact, you wondered if maybe he even liked it. The thought passed quickly, and you were able to focus on the man in front of you instead- the one who was quickly claiming you as his own. The one you deserved. 

[stimkyavva]

Class of '09- tragic because it's funny, funny because it's tragic.

Another visual novel, no surprise here y'all. Probably a rare game that had me laugh out loud multiple times. I ofc added my favorite lines but without context they aren't even done much justice (so I tried picking better one liners).

The drawn out call backs and puns in this game was good. As the pattern of my recent playthroughs having humane inhumanity in common, we can safely add this one to the list. Class of 09 plays between teenager edgy humor and the rot that grows inside you as you go through puberty. No one escapes it really- with a slight exception being those who choose happiness over intelligence- it just develops through the changing funnel that each person is. I enjoyed finishing an ending and reading the message left behind by it, and feeling uneasy- almost as though it was sent to me directly. Through the comedic relief of each line there's a moment of silence, perhaps the disappointment of reality. And through those messages I feel the unexplained hole you get in the pit of your stomach after any social interaction, one you can't quite explain right but somehow is universally understood. I read that the game claims to be based on real events and people and however crazy or outlandish that may seem, I believe them. Especially the coke addiction thing in early 2000's america.

Class of 09 was a special treat I gave to my teenage self, I know she would've worshipped this game. I will indulge in the other games in the future. But here's to this one.

[tearsinthemist]

Want to learn something new

Want to learn something new in 2022??

Absolute beginner adult ballet series (fabulous beginning teacher)

40 piano lessons for beginners (some of the best explanations for piano I’ve ever seen)

Excellent basic crochet video series

Basic knitting (probably the best how to knit video out there)

Pre-Free Figure Skate Levels A-D guides and practice activities (each video builds up with exercises to the actual moves!)

How to draw character faces video (very funny, surprisingly instructive?)

Another drawing character faces video

Literally my favorite art pose hack

Tutorial of how to make a whole ass Stardew Valley esque farming game in Gamemaker Studios 2??

Introduction to flying small aircrafts

French/Dutch/Fishtail braiding

Playing the guitar for beginners (well paced and excellent instructor)

Playing the violin for beginners (really good practical tips mixed in)

Color theory in digital art (not of the children’s hospital variety)

Retake classes you hated but now there’s zero stakes:

Calculus 1 (full semester class)

Learn basic statistics (free textbook)

Introduction to college physics (free textbook)

Introduction to accounting (free textbook)

Learn a language:

Ancient Greek

Latin

Spanish

German

Japanese (grammar guide) (for dummies)

French

Russian (pretty good cyrillic guide!)

Jan 2, 2023

Want to learn something new in 2023??

Cooking with flavor bootcamp (used what I learned in this a LOT this year)

Beekeeping 101

Learn Interior Design from the British Academy of Interior Design (free to audit course - just choose the free option when you register)

Video on learning to read music that actually helped me??

How to use and sew with a sewing machine

How to ride a bike (listen. some of us never learned, and that's okay.)

How to cornrow-braid hair (I have it on good authority that this video is a godsend for doing your baby niece's black hair)

Making mead at home (I actually did this last summer and it was SO good)

How to garden

Basics of snowboarding (proceed with caution)

How to draw for people who (think they) suck at art (I know this website looks like a 2003 monstrosity, but the tutorials are excellent)

Pixel art for beginners so you can make the next great indie game

Go (back) to school

Introduction to Astronomy (high school course - free textbook w/ practice problems)

Principals of Economics (high school course - free textbook w/ practice problems)

Introduction to philosophy (free college course)

Computer science basics (full-semester Harvard course free online)

Learn a language

Japanese for Dummies (link fix from 2022)

Ukrainian

Portuguese (Brazil)

American Sign Language (as somebody who works with Deaf people professionally, I also strongly advise you to read up on Deaf/HoH culture and history!)

Chinese (Mandarin, Simplified)

Quenya (LOTR fantasy elf language)

Dec 26, 2023

Want to learn something new in 2024??

Beginner-oriented video on how to sail

This guy has so many videos on baking different types of bread. SO very many.

Coding in Python - one of the most flexible and adaptable high-level programming languages out there - explained through projects making video games

Learn to swim! (for adult learners. I don’t care if you live in Kansas or Mali or wherever. LEARN TO SWIM.)

Learn how quantum mechanics works. Then read some more about it

[Learn about quantum mechanics again, but in a more advanced engineering/mathematics class. Then read more about the math and physics of it]

Poetry Handbook, by Mary Oliver

Something I learned this year: how to sew a quilt (Here’s a very easy beginning pattern that looks amazing and can be done with pre-cut fabric!)

How to hit the ball in softball

Tutorial video on what is under the hood of most (gas) cars + weird engine sounds and what they mean

Full beginner mechanics technical training, if you want to go more in depth

Playlist on how car engine physics work if you want to go ultra in depth

Lecture series on architecture design through study of buildings

How (American income) taxes & tax law work (choose “audit course” at checkout for free class)

Pickleball for beginners (so you can finally join your neighbor/friend/distant cousin who is always insisting you join their team)

+ Para-Pickleball for beginners (for mobility aid users!)

School is so much more fun when there’s no tests:

American Law - Contracts

Shakespeare’s Life and Plays

Fairy Tales: Meanings, Messages, and Morals

Modern Poetry

World History [Part 1, Part 2]

Learn a language:

Arabic + Resource Guide compiled from Reddit (includes info on different dialects)

Chinese (Cantonese) (audio)

Urdu (frequently recommended course on Reddit) + Resource Guide

Yucatec Maya

[meanbossart]

I've been really enjoying your fic and it got me curious about how your campaign went??? I got the important parts (your Durge denied Bhaal, Shadowheart spared nightsong I think, Astarion obviously didn't ascend) but what else happened? Will we ever see any of the other companions?

Thanks for enjoying the story! I can say with pretty much certainty we won't be seeing any other canonical characters from the game, Jaheira, Minsc and Halsin would have stayed behind in Baldur's Gate, as well as Wyll. My Durge killed Lae'zel early in the game and Karlach also died at the end of my campaign.

Gale's character decided to go after the crown, and while he was the staple fourth member of my party the relationship had always been uh... Tense. This was before they apparently patched out how needy he was, but frankly it made for a really interesting story since i just kind of assumed his character was kind of a creep wearing a nice-guy's face. Also, to be fair, I DID fall for his "wanna see a magic trick" line but that just kindled the fire to my theory that he's actually a fairly manipulative person (and perhaps he's unaware of it). MIND YOU PLEASE that this doesn't mean i don't like his character - honestly i feel like I got a REALLY interesting side of him in my campaign and i wouldnt have it any other way - this was a party composed of the dark urge, Astarion, Shadowheart and GALE and to have us all turn down power and glory only for the goody-two-shoes wizard of the camp to turn kinda evil and power-hungry made for a really satisfying narrative.

... Sorry i ended up rambling about Gale LOL to actually answer the rest of your question, my campaign went like this:

I made a Fighter, champion sub-class, BIG hulking drow because i thought it would be funny. Because i went in blind I started off as a confused homicidal murderer who is a liiiittle weirded out about his urges but he doesnt stress TOO much about it. Is fairly standoffish and distrusting toward all of his companions which made for a weird start. Motivated by gold, killing things, getting this worm out his head and making off-color jokes. Ends up siding with the Tieflings because i also decided that, as a very hedonistic character who thinks we should be lunatics because we want to rather than because a cult is telling us to be, my durge would profoundly hate the absolute. As a male drow he also really hated Minthara so yeah, easy choice there. As mentioned above, I also killed Lae'zel when she tried to murder-suicide everybody.

I wasn't going to fuck anyone, believe it or not, so during the tiefling party i went with Gale because it SEEMED like he just wanted to show me something neat (it ended early because i failed his checks and i guess he can't get hard unless i can cast fireball). Also, at this point even though i made mostly "good" moral choices i *was* still a dick the whole time - despite this, everyone in camp wanted to fuck me BESIDES Astarion, which was so fucking funny and devastating that I decided my Durge would, from that moment on, turn on the charm and the flattery and make it his mission to bang him. So yes, they were manipulating each other. I don't have to explain why that made for a really really fun little dynamic. Also Astarion had to tell me he was a vampire through dialogue instead of biting me and i got to say "yeah duh" which was hysterical.

I finally banged him sometime during the underdark (didn't go to the creche at all) and during Act 2 I followed the same pattern of doing mostly the Good Thing while being arrogant the whole time, I fell into a kind of chaotic-neutral/true-neutral aligment and watched my little homicidal maniac cluelessly stumble his way into a hero's journey. I had also really grown to like Shadowheart at that point after having a really negative first impression of her character and she basically became my durge's best friend. Astarion also grew on me for all the reasons we know and love and he did his confession to me sometime in late act 2. I Never met Araj (though i think i mention her in the fan story only because her interaction is interesting) so I got the dialogue that isn't prompted by her encounter. I also had to "break up" with Gale at this point which boy that sure came as a surprise to me! I also didnt break the shadow curse.

Because I didnt kill isobel (Again, my guy didnt like people telling him what to do or not to do), my little butler guy made me wanna kill Astarion. I SWEAR this happened pretty late in game, maybe even in the first night in baldur's gate which i realize is unusual. Naturally I didnt and I decided that would be the turning point where my Durge decides to not just Go With The Flow of things but actively fight his urge and pursue its root cause. He tried to be more of a good person from that point on which was kind of a clumsy effort lol

He completely antagonized the emperor immediately upon him revealing his true identity, stole the orphic hammer from Raphael's house, betrayed Gortash after setting an "alliance" with him, killed Orin (she kidnapped the orphan and killed her in front of me because i failed the check :| ) stopped Astarion from ascending and helped Shadowheart kill everyone in the house of grief, i let her make her own choice regarding her parents and she decided to kill them. I also encouraged her to not immediately align with the Selunites just because of her past.

I got Astarion the thing that helps him read the necromancy book and i cannot tell you how satifyins it was that, after giving up unspeakable power by killing Cazador, that dude and his little ghoul army basically mauled Orin and her grandad for me practically by themselves while I was down on the floor with 1 health. PROUD OF YOU BUDDY.

Gale spoke to Mystra as well at some point and i swear I NEVER encouraged that guy to take the crown for himself. It was always either "do whatever you want" or "i think thats a shitty idea." At this point my Durge was super sick of him so they had a bit of a crappy relationship which may have something to do with how things turned out.

I betrayed the emperor, released Orpheus and when he asked if any of us wanted to be a mindflayer i went "Fuck No" big time and luckily the guy just did it for me. Chaos ensues, I kill the emperor and the absolute in an epic battle that took me like a whole day. I also killed Orpheus when he asked me to. Karlach died ( :c ) and Gale told me he was gonna fuck off to get the crown. In the final Astarion dialogue I told him we would find a way to get him to walk under the sun again.... AAAAAnd thats it i think? Man this game is huge lmao i swear i wasnt trying to be long-winded.

[sysig]

2024 Art Purge (Part 1)

Original Edition again! Another year of too many doodles between original and fanart that didn’t make the full cut over the course of the year - off we go!

I made some concept art for smol early in the year of a mushroom girl she had a dream about a while ago that she wanted to try making as a low-poly model sometime. Pretty sure we've narrowed it down to the original DS-era style of 3D models

And so some angular low-poly style doodles were also called for! She's so tiny haha

Around the same time I was thinking about ZEX's “Kissing Strangers” meme, I started considering what Charm's reaction to that one might be - I'm always trying to think of animation memes for her, I'd love to animate her sometime ♥ In the end, it was all a bit too weird! In a way it’s fitting, as the meme is all about Looking and not finding the one you want to kiss til the very end lol, but who would that even be! Who would Charm Want to kiss, I don't know...

[Purple Text] only got a very little bit of screentime this year, but they're just as weird and possessive as ever - once, forever and always, at least according to how they see things

Smol and I tried out a few different creative games over the course of the year - my favourite probably being the Crossover Wheel where we each put in our list of fandoms, including ones we share, and then imagine what a crossover would be like haha. House Hunted is one of hers, and she tossed the idea my way of looking at Zillow Listings (specifically this group) and imagining them as Realtors! I got the Sunflower House - you'll know it when you see it haha

Bit of a random one, but I thought the sheep from this little scene was hecka cute and needed to study her. Good shapes! Very adorable! I like her covered eyes quite a lot, and her spindly little legs, funny to me hehe

I also wanted to study her "Leg of Lamb" posing - can you tell this is memory vs. references lol. S'why references are so important! The original's delicate posing is very lovely! The soft positioning of her knees and ankles and the way she's fully reaching across herself with those fluffy "sleeves" are probably my favourite parts, it's a good pose!

Haven't done any Halfway Autumn concept art in a while-while, so why not come back with Diana's bathroom lol. Still a bit of work to be done, moving the door is probably the biggest point - having the leftmost wall lined with counter space is clearly the correct play here. I really like the shapes that naturally occur from isometric, like the way the shower curtain rod connects to "nothing" but it still reads as stopping at the wall! :D

All of this floorplanning just for some flavourtext about Diana's preferred style of hand soap haha. Foaming soap dispensers are the best! Makes everything much much clearer, definitely not just because I prefer it, it's totally objective! Haha

More bathroom flavourtext, either at the schoolhouse or the train station, or both! Since so much of the game is centered around Diana's needs, little things like what soap she uses actually impact the game! I wish something so simple wouldn't affect my day, but sensory needs are called needs for a reason :P

Started a Charm comic that unfortunately only got as far as the first panel haha - she's taking a class! Off to improve her skills at something in a group environment! Good for her :)

Or not, the sads are here :'0

Did a bit of Tsumtsum studying while drawing the Helix boys as such haha - I have one of those little Vocaloid not-Tsumtsums (they're only Tsumtsums if they're Disney, right?), and one full-sized Iron Man one that I studied the approximate shapes of the pattern from, they don't Look complex and they're probably not Actually that hard to make but there's still a good bit to them! 3D shapes, I swear

The 4th Wall group! Their poses and expressions changed a bit from start to finish, Cory once again looking at Bar - I don't think he's actually "seen" Bar's new design before this point! :0 They're all generally aware of each other but "actually interacting" is a whole other thing haha

The two stragglers, made Tala way too tiny here haha. And forgot her bow here, no wonder I forgot it for the full version too! Pfbtl, next time :P

A traditional version of the Just Desserts map! :D Made after putting the digital version together, just kind of loosely studied, general shapes good for mapmaking :) I quite enjoy the little mountain texture here over the one from the digital version! S'hard to make nice-looking shapes without my tablet but I really didn't want to use it Just for that haha, so nice shapes here! Gives me DQIX map vibes, just a little bit... All those little islands to sail to haha

Snake, snake, snaaake, it's a snaaaake ♪ Made for smol's Christmas exchange ostensibly, but really more of a spacefiller and to get into the swing of drawing snakes, the cute lads

Ball python in the style of a ball of yarn! I wouldn't mind wrapping up a plush snake, but the way real ball pythons curl up into a ball is too cute haha

Here was the Actual snake I ended up making for smol - as a bookmark! I printed a few different versions, coloured one like this with extra-dark spots for the scales, and glued on a ribbon-tongue, cut down the middle for a forked look! :D She liked it, and I like it! Double victory :)

A little sticker concept while my laptop was out for attempted repairs - can't save 'em all I suppose. I do like that the head mirror is a disc, the stethoscope is a mouse, cute little details even for an unfortunate set of circumstances

[bluedalahorse]

Hi Blue!! 1, 2 and 21 for the ask game!!

(I think I’m funny choosing questions with the same two numbers lol)

Hej! I love some numerical patterns going on here.

Favorite secondary character

Saraaaaaa. She got me into this show, she kept me invested in it, she was an important part of my own journey getting diagnosed with AuDHD. She was the first of my two precious plushes and I will cherish her forever.

Favorite secondary romantic and/or sexual pairing

Saraugust, obviously. They’re actually my favorite pairing on the show overall. I can relate to each of them—Sara’s drive to decode the world around her and her weighing whether it’s worth fitting in or not, August’s perfectionism and and his jealousy and his fear that if he stops excelling at any given moment he’ll fall apart. Both of their complicated relationships to family and legacy. At their core they are both lonely weirdos in the process of growing up, and they click with one another. August makes some deeply awful decisions, and Sara makes some that aren’t great either, but it makes the story more interesting.

Most underrated character/ship/actor overall

Actor: Okay. My initial temptation is to be like, Frida! Or Malte! I do think fandom recognizes that they’re good. I wish we shouted them out even more, but it may never be enough for me ahaha. Their chemistry is really good too. BUT I have also talked a lot about Sara and August adjacent things, so… how about I shout out Samuel? Samuel can be quite funny, and he’s also great at communicating all of Nils’s walls and the vulnerability underneath. Like he gives Nils such depth and texture and I love that.

Character: You know who we don’t talk about enough? Fröken Ramirez. Boris gets shout outs but I love the way Fröken Ramirez is teaching queer lit and creating a space for debate in her class. I love how she greets Sara when she comes back to school. I don’t think Fröken Ramirez is perfect, but I get the sense she gives a shit about her students and I’d love to write a fic from her POV someday.

Ship: I’ve already made my case for Saraugust. So how about I make my case for Rolice? No, Felice and Rosh have never really talked, but they inevitably will talk someday because they are friends with Wilhelm and Simon. And I bet it’ll be a little bit tense at first because they’re so different, and they’ll bicker in a hot way. But then maybe they hit it off and maybe Felice had gay thoughts watching Bend it Like Beckham as a twelve-year-old and maybe Rosh makes her remember this and it smacks her all in the face. Maybe Rosh is ready to let a pretty girl boss her around and maybe that pretty girl is Felice. Look, I will die for a well-executed cross-class butch/femme ship, and I feel like Felice and Rosh could be that. I know Madirosh has been here forever and that probably people are attached to that but I urge you all to get on the multishipper train with me and travel to a wonderful land where Rolice can happen.

[in-halingstardust]

Hsr male matchup plz

Mild-medium is good

Gender: cis female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: heterosexual ally

Zodiac: Capricorn

Appearance: 5’2 African American hourglass body (although I’m more top heavy if you know what i mean) black curly wavy hair blackish brown eyes chubby cheeks wears glasses sometimes (im far sighted so it’s usually when driving in class or at the theater)

Mbti: infj

Enneagram: 2w1

Personality: kind smart funny motherly responsible empathetic anxious emotional moody perfectionist helpful people pleaser caring compassionate nerdy curious protective polite respectful indecisive fearful nervous introvert shy awkward clumsy low self esteem low confidence (more pertaining to my talents or personality then my looks) sassy sarcastic (I’m mainly these things with people i feel comfortable with like friends or family) soft spoken cute (my friends think im cute because i can be pretty innocent plus I’m small physically)

Likes: animals books reading writing fantasy magic sci fi anime music video games friends alone time learning personality quizzes sweets and bread helping being a part of something bigger than myself

Dislikes: spiders loud sounds people who harm others people who don’t take others into consideration (like make insensitive jokes or don’t consider the comfort of others or are mean just cause they can) people i care about not caring for themselves (im a hypocrite on this i take care of everyone else but not me) not being listened to weird holes and patterns math and tests (I’m being tested for a math disability and i have test anxiety)

Love language:

Giving: acts of service gift giving and physical affection (if they’re ok with it)

Receiving: words of affirmation and physical affection (although i can be shy about it)

Extra: i pace a lot i sing when im alone i talk to myself im a picky eater (mainly with textures) i have a cat i have minor ehlers danalos (a hyper mobility disorder) but it doesn’t hurt me like it does my sisters i get abdominal migraines which is basically like a migraine but instead of headaches it’s nausea

Thank you

I ALSO FORGOT TO QUE I am so sorry. I did not forget about you!

Also ehler danalos sucks, I'm so sorry that you sister gets migranes also, my family also has chronic issues that make it difficult to go through life normally!

Anyway! I'm going to paire you with Argenti!

You both are in pursuit of something greater than itself. A distraction from the world maybe, but a principle connects both in this relationship 

It’s not complicated. Really. The first thing that attracted Argenti to you was your voice, especially when you sing. He loves it when you sing. Though never ask him to duet, music is one subject he is quite terrible at. 

Your relationship with him is basically him courting you until you feel comfortable enough. He brings you different types of flowers, not only roses, and explains each individual meaning. Oh, this week's bouquet means longevity, happiness and heart. I thought it fit well with the theme of summer, he says snipping off the roots before placing them in a vase. 

Lots of long talks over the phone. Lots of enjoying each other's company. Nothing too hardcore, maybe a nice performance that Argenti would find and no one else. For real, I feel he find the most strangest, yet professionally good, orchestra concerts known to man.

Surprisingly, not that much PDA. Everything he has for you is shown within the privacy of your own enviroment. Soft, chaste kisses, the way he fiddles with the end of your hair and a comforting hand against your arm.

A little spicy -> He likes tugging on your lips in between kisses. Really enjoys how red they turn and the way you look flustered.

[kiwicopia]

Can I join the event plz

Honkai Star Rail male matchup plz

Gender: cis female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: heterosexual ally

Zodiac: Capricorn

Appearance: 5’2 African American hourglass body (although I’m more top heavy if you know what i mean) black curly wavy hair blackish brown eyes chubby cheeks wears glasses sometimes (im far sighted so it’s usually when driving in class or at the theater)

Mbti: infj

Enneagram: 2w1

Personality: kind smart funny motherly responsible empathetic anxious emotional moody perfectionist helpful people pleaser caring compassionate nerdy curious protective polite respectful indecisive fearful nervous introvert shy awkward clumsy low self esteem low confidence (more pertaining to my talents or personality then my looks) sassy sarcastic (I’m mainly these things with people i feel comfortable with like friends or family) soft spoken cute (my friends think im cute because i can be pretty innocent plus I’m small physically)

Likes: animals books reading writing fantasy magic sci fi anime music video games friends alone time learning personality quizzes sweets and bread helping being a part of something bigger than myself

Dislikes: spiders loud sounds people who harm others people who don’t take others into consideration (like make insensitive jokes or don’t consider the comfort of others or are mean just cause they can) people i care about not caring for themselves (im a hypocrite on this i take care of everyone else but not me) not being listened to weird holes and patterns math and tests (I’m being tested for a math disability and i have test anxiety)

Love language:

Giving: acts of service gift giving and physical affection (if they’re ok with it)

Receiving: words of affirmation and physical affection (although i can be shy about it)

What I want to do for valentines: i’ve only really started celebrating valentines in recent years so Im still kinda new to it so id probably just get my partner a cheesy/thoughtful gift (their favorite candy or cheese romantic keychains) and have a nice dinner smth small but romantic and dorky yknow

Extra: i pace a lot i sing when im alone i talk to myself im a picky eater (mainly with textures) i have a cat i have minor ehlers danalos (a hyper mobility disorder) but it doesn’t hurt me like it does my sisters i get abdominal migraines which is basically like a migraine but instead of headaches it’s nausea

Thank you

As a knight, acts of service are a guaranteed thing with him, as is physical touch. His chivalrous nature and poetic tongue make for a very romantic day, involving sweet words and gentle kisses to your hand whenever he can. Argenti may seem like he goes overboard with praising your beauty, but he speaks the truth. He will list each and every part of you that he adores, and he will give a detailed reasoning as to why, if you allow him. He's not the type of man to expect something grand on this special day, so whatever you give him is forever cherished, no matter if it's something you bought or made by hand. It came from you, and that's all he needs to know. Insists on dinner, and heavily insists that he takes care of everything. Lights candles, orders or makes the finest dinner for the two of you, and simply enjoys your company with him.

[beatthegame]

I just beat Megaman X! Originally released on the Super Nintendo back in the 90s. Played again 30 years later through the Megaman X Collection on Nintendo Switch. I remember owning the original SNES game cartridge back in the day at Kay Bee Toys! Which was about the size of a concrete brick. Comparing that size to the modern day switch game cards (which is about the size of a single cinnamon toast crunch flake) is kinda funny. But I'm getting waaay off topic. Which is a shame because this game rules. So let's show a little respect...

The Good: Megaman games have a consistent recipe since day 1: Side scrolling platformer with a mean blue midget armed with a hand cannon. Hopping across platforms and defeating robot masters to steal their powers. The latent strategy being that each robot master has a certain weakness to another master's powers. So you kind of have to figure that pattern out along the way. They ran with this formula through several games on the 8-bit Nintendo. But its mix of cool robot designs and high tempo music makes Megaman a stand out franchise in gaming history. Megaman X is the next level to that series. You start off several years into the future and start off like any other Megaman game. Run towards the right and blast a bunch of robots. Controls are smooth and responsive to your button inputs. Music is rocking! But as you progress (spoiler alert) you encounter a boss fight you can't win. Seemingly not a big deal but this was probably the first time this trope has been made? The "unbeatable first boss encounter who you'll eventually defeat later in the game after you collect all the power-ups" scheme. But the new X model sets this game apart from the NES series. Not only do you collect enemy powers after defeating the robot master. But you collect pieces of armor as well. Enabling cool new abilities like spint dashing, double jumping and smashing rocks with your helmet. My personal favorite touch is that they kept the Street Fighter easter egg in the collection! Basically, if you collect all the powers, armor pieces and energy tanks, there's a crazy sequence you have to do on one of the levels that will enable the best weapon of the game. With the same motion control input in Street Fighter you can pop off a HADOUKEN that can kill any bad guys with one shot. Bosses included! That easter egg alone is worth the price of admission. Secret codes aside, this game is a fun robot blasting blast!

The Bad: Don't let the cute character designs fool you. This game is no joke. These robot masters will fuck you up! You really need to play along and collect the correct sequence of robot powers and armor pieces to truly advance. This can be frustrating for anyone trying to just shoot around without a strategy. But if you play along, the game delivers. Although this is a minor complaint, I didn't like how you can't do mid-level save states like every other emulated game collection. It's such a shit complaint but there isn't that much to whine about. Megaman X is pretty great!

Overall: Megaman X was great back in 1994 and it still holds up today. Beginning to end, it was a robot smashin good time. It's a fantastic game as a standalone experience. But there are 4 more Megaman X games contained inside that tiny little cinnamon toast crunch flake-sized cartridge. Which should keep anyone busy for a while. Great deal for a great game!

S-Class

[halentinverrera]

Today was good. So first period Anthony wasn’t there but all we did was a study guide pretty easy. Second period was good. Eduardo and me lately draw pictures on each others cinco al día. It’s a paper that you write on in Spanish class from Monday-Friday. Turn it in and start a new one each week. That photo of my doodles in advisory was one of those. We just draw random stuff. He drew a picture of me but it was some guy from his side profile long neck negative chin weird hair and a weird nose. As soon as he gave it to me he started laughing. It was a really funny drawing like it looked so dumb. After second period I went to the tree again like always and while im there im chilling with my boy Joniel. While we’re talking I ask him “is Omar coming today?” He says “fuh no he went to Lovelle already.”. No wonder why he had came the whole week last time. He was just having his last time at ohs. I remembered that today was gonna be the day all those kids got sent to lovelle. Emmanuel but we call him dream or sueño or meño. I’ll refer to him as dream im my posts. Dream texts me and says “vale where are you”. Which I was a little weird because for brunch he’s always with Bryant or the gang bangers so I tell him “under the tree”. He comes like 3 minutes later and I ask him “where’s Bryant?”. He tells me “idk he went to this weird school lovelle or something.” Im like “he went too?”. See I didn’t think anything of it then but it all makes sense now why the kids with bad attendance all of a sudden decide to come to school. So I hang out with dream for the rest of brunch. 3rd period was cool too but I’m gonna rant a little here. I think we’ve all those pants that some girls wear with the specific pattern the colorful ones. Idk what they are called but they’re really tight. On TikTok they call them the forbidden pants. I don’t like when girls that have no ass wear those. Like what’s up with that. But whatever. Not much of a rant just felt like getting that out there. So tell me why I seen Adrianna wear those today. She looks anorexic like she has eating disorders. Girl you have no business wearing that put some normal jeans on. Third period was pretty much just notes. 4th period was cool. We just dead lifted. It’s weird to me that I have weak maxes on everything but my deadlift is 225. Power clean 95, squat 85, bench 100. Than I can lift 225 with my legs. Lunch was pretty cool too i convinced dream to hangout in Kalashians for lunch. 5th period was cool too we did a quizziz and when I finished I played penalty kick online. 6th period notes and than pentacle kick. I found out that we’re playing Roblox as a class. Like it’s an assignment we’re gonna play pathogen patrol. It’s a Roblox game for human body systems pretty cool. History we just did a fill in the blank google doc. When I went home I walked with Jose. Not my cousin my friend Jose. I’ll call him compadre in my posts. So yesterday he got a new muha med. so I walked with him and he let me hit it. It was potent Vro real good. When I got home all I did was eat until it went away. The pictures are what I ate. I also watched some YouTube while eating. When I was done it was 5:20 so I went to my room to play some blood strike. But I had to take a shit so now im taking a mean ass shit. Later guys

[ogamagirl]

I know I already sent in an ask for the game but I'm curious!!

Mushrooms, dirt, trees, moss, soil, clouds (or you could do all the questions ehehe) 😜

OMG Well at this point I think I should just do all the questions that I haven't already ehehehe |3c thanks Shiloh!!

Trees — What is their comfort items(s) and vice versa?

-For him, definitely his piano and his motorcycle - two BIG comfort items I know sjdgnlgfd but his piano because music is such a huge part of who he is, to play can be many things for him but one of those things is definitely comfort, and his motorcycle because when he needs to clear his head or just have some space he can take it out and ride and have that space! Smaller item though, he will play/fidget with his wedding ring 💕

My comfort items are. All my plushies sjdfgnldfglsdfg holding a plushie makes me feel very secure and calm, I cycle through favorites but there's always at least one (usually more) within my reach! My scythe pendant + wedding ring are also comfort items and I fidget with my ring too - we were actually thinking...our wedding rings are simple silver bands with a piano key pattern on them, and they make rings with a spinning section where the keys are, so for our 10th wedding anniversary in a few years we were thinking about upgrading our rings to those kind =w=

Moss — What is something that reminds you of each other?

-Pianos and scythes remind me the most of him, naturally |D motorcycles too, and jazz piano music!

Black cats and the color red remind him of me, as well as chocolate and plushies |3

Insects — What kind of music do you and your f/o listen to together?

-ALL KINDS. EVERY KIND OF MUSIC jsdnlfjsdfgnsdg both of us have fairly eclectic tastes and listen to a wide range of music, we're always comparing playlists and swapping songs. Jazz, electro swing, and pop punk are probably where we have the MOST overlapping favs tho!

Dirt — How do you two prefer to spend time together?

-We're pretty low-key and just enjoy each other's presence tbh - I'm more of a home body than he is in general so I'm perfectly content sitting on the couch with him playing games or watching silly stuff. He likes to go out a bit more, but nothing too strenuous, usually just taking walks around town together or going grocery shopping together. It's always really fun to be able to take trips together, but we can't afford to do that SUPER often atm, so, really as long as we're together, anything is fair game 💖

Clouds — How do they comfort you & vice versa?

-Soul comforts me with a lot of hugs and cuddles! Physical touch is my biggest comfort, but he'll also talk things out with me if I'm having an anxiety spike because talking through things helps me calm down as well.

Soul is calmed by physical touch as well so I also give him lots of cuddles when he needs them, as well as words of reassurance and support 💖

Bushes — Do they prefer hot, warm, cool, or cold weather?

-WARM weather; he hates being cold |D we are almost diametrically opposed in our weather preferences lmfao, it's gotten warmer here recently and he's all excited while I am. Not excited at all because I hate heat sdfjlgnsdfgn

Mushrooms — What's something funny or chaotic you and your f/o have done together?

-UH I am...not sure??? |D He got me to cut class a couple times when we were still in school but usually it was to go wander around town or shoot hoops together (I am NOT a basketball person but he is so I'd watch him...one memorable occasion he lifted me up so I could make a basket cause I'm usually too short to do so otherwise |3) so nothing too "chaotic" - I'd have to have a think about that, I don't think I'd usually describe any of our adventures as chaotic so I'll have to think of a funny story sdjfnglsfdg

Garden — How would you describe your their vibe?

-COOL of course! 💕 Cool, chill, laid-back, but with a passion underneath; it may not be apparent if you don't know him well, but it's there 💖

Soil - What aesthetic reminds you of them or your bond?

-IDK any of the names of aesthetics nowadays lol but red and black color scheme (plaid, zigzag, and checkerboard patterns specifically), piano or music notation prints, leather jackets, PINSTRIPES - dark and moody stuff with warmth underneath it, if that makes sense???

[turoce]

Seana’s 2022 art highlights (a thread)

(Note: this is a reupload of a thread i did on twitter a few years back. so these are really old. don't worry, this is the final reupload.)

this thread, unlike the previous 3 art threads, will be full of holes. this is because i haven’t drawn shit this year, mostly introspect. and gaming. tf2 has done horrors to my schedule.

January: I didn’t draw anything. Skip. well, nothing of SHOWING, anyways. i scribbled, but they’re horseshit and that’s all you should know about them.

February: Charlie’s family, ft Mia. i drew the left picture for the comic but i’m gonna be honest... i don’t, like the poses that much. posing has been a big weakness for me, for a long time, and the limited bends in objects kinda highlight that.

March: redraw of an old traditional drawing. i don’t think i liked this one either. unsatisfied. there’s been a pattern for this year. also [there's] a commission, that’s been asked for since January. i wish i didn’t take that long. i’m still very sorry to my commissioner.

April: Portal phase. my commission money was spent on the Orange Box... because i didn’t know Portal 2 wasn’t on the Orange Box. oops. my friend bought Portal 2 for me. i’m really thankful for them.

[note: hey! some of these i've actually posted on tumblr... lemme link those posts.] [post 2] [post 3]

May: strangely, i drew Cutter Knife a lot? i like him, wish i had time and motivation to work on the comic, but i fucked with myself by hastily releasing it when i still didn’t know everything about them.

June: didn’t have much drawing opportunities, due to finals and the vacation to America that followed. i did draw these 2 things tho, and i think these are the pieces i’m very satisfied with.

July: probably the last month of this year that i ever worked hard on. i had online writing classes, which means i just tuned the video as background noise while i tried out some stuff. it was the best month i ever had. oh, btw, trad art from May~August is mostly lost because my main phone was broken for that time and i was forced to use my older phone. they still exist, just not saved onto my device.

August: made during the writing class. i’m not very happy with this, but i was trying to do something. maybe the fact i didn’t have a clear vision of WHAT, was blocking me from what i wanted to do.

oh, there are these things too. hi guys, hope sunlight wasn’t too dear to you.

September: i surprise myself more and more. i did draw characters a lot! but that wasn’t what i wanted for this whole year. i wanted to draw cartoons. characters living. talking. i just captured their souls behind a dead, white, background. [note: ?]

October: my persona. the new one. [art 1]

i realize, i’m not posting my trad drawings. there isn’t much to post. here are some from random points of the year, though.

November: i start drawing things about tf2. and i’m still going strong, thanks. (ft. Dicey Dungeons)

[art 1+2] [art 3]

December: as i said, nothing much. stepped away from coloring to focus more on the shape. coloring exhausts me.

[post 1] [post 2]

*looks at past threads* oh, right, i still need to do my retrospective.... something, things. i planned a lot this year. but i just kinda ended up... burned out. school has been a big factor, but it’s been partially my fault for just doomscrolling on twitter, not doing things. partially?? no, this is entirely your fault, mister. anyways, i hope i can just... do things again. draw. not feel like i need to do something groundbreaking for each piece. i think i’ll focus on quantity over quality, for next year.

[note: this post ends by saying "hopefully this site lasts for me to do a 2023 art retrospective thread"... hah, well, funny thing is...]

[obeymeoasis]

The First Time They Say “I Love You”

Lucifer

At first you just did small things, like cleaning up the used coffee cups on his desk. Things that you wanted to do for him because he was so tired all the time. But after you pointed out a calculation error in a R.A.D organization’s monthly expense sheet, Lucifer started relying on you more. He often asked you to do a final scan over documents before he submitted them to Diavolo just in case he missed anything.

You found that your work styles were very similar: extremely organized, detail-oriented, and meticulous. You enjoyed spending time in Lucifer’s office. And helping him with his work meant that he got done more quickly and had more time to spend with you. 

Right now he was at his desk, furiously scanning through a stack of papers. You could tell he hadn’t slept in a while. The buttons at his throat were undone and he had dark smudges underneath his eyes. Somebody had apparently mixed up the schedule for an upcoming series of lectures and Lucifer was left to solve the problem.

You shut the door behind you slowly and carefully made your way over, trying your best to balance the tea tray and multiple folders you were holding. "Here, Luci. I brought you peppermint tea and shortbread. You should have some while you work, you look absolutely exhausted.” He looked up at you and smiled gratefully, a private smile that only you got to see. “Thank you MC, I appreciate it.”

You then handed him the thick folders. “Also, these are all of the invoices from last week’s alumni dinner party. I thought they were a bit messy to look at so I organized them into different categories based on the business and then sorted the purchases sequentially. Also, I calculated the total expenses and thankfully we were able to stay under budget.”

Lucifer's mouth was slightly ajar and his eyes widened, looking at you as if you'd done something incredibly strange. You asked self-consciously, "Is... is something on my face?"

With the same bewildered expression on his face he said "MC... I love you."

You laughed, a little startled. "Why, because I organized some files for you?"

"Well, yes. No. I mean yes and no. It's not just the files, it's everything. The way you're always thinking of me and taking care of me. The way we work well together. The way I can trust you with anything. I love you, MC. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to say so."

You felt your cheeks flush with happiness. "Well... I love you too, you know. A lot. Now hurry up and finish your work so that we can spend some actual time together."

Lucifer laughed gently and then reached to take your hand in his, pressing a delicate kiss against your fingers. "Anything for you."

Mammon

You were at the casino with Mammon on a Wednesday night. On school nights he usually went alone because you were busy with homework. But tonight he looked so lonely as he headed for the door that something spurred you to put on a jacket and run after him.

When you took his hand in yours, he turned to look at you in surprise and the most radiant smile lit his face. “You’re coming with me, baby?”

The first couple of hours weren’t bad. Mammon brought you small plates of food and you were content to just watch as he flourished in his natural environment. You smiled amusedly at his antics, the way he bantered with the dealer, how he yelled in delight when he won and how pouty he became when he lost.

But pretty soon the long day of classes caught up to you and you could feel your eyelids growing heavy. You were tucked into a small table in the corner, away from the other guests but still visible to Mammon out of the corner of his eye. You figured no one would mind so you laid your arm on the table and rested your head in the crook of your arm. Within a couple of seconds, you were deep asleep.

Meanwhile, Mammon was having some of the best luck he’d had recently at the blackjack table. He turned to where you were sitting to give you a smile and boast about his winnings a little, only to have his heart clench tightly at the sight of you. 

You looked absolutely adorable, sleeping with a little smile on your face. It must have been a little cold for you in the casino because you were curled up tightly against yourself. Mammon flushed at how cute you looked and then felt a sudden rush of emotion. 

Even though you were tired, you still took the time to come out with him tonight. He knew these places weren’t really your thing but you never complained, you genuinely just wanted to be with him. And that was something Mammon wasn’t really used to.

You stirred at the sensation of Mammon draping his jacket across your shoulders. Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you looked up to ask: “Hey Mams, how’s your luck been tonight?”

He stood silently for a moment before enveloping you into a sudden, crushing hug. “I-I love you, MC. I really love you.” You were startled and tried to move back to get a look at his face but Mammon wouldn’t budge. “No, don’t look at me. I’m probably super red. But I need to tell you how much I love you. I kinda realized it just now that there’s no one like you. No one who cares for me, who accepts all of me like you do. Thank you for always being here.”

You could feel tears forming in your eyes and buried your face against Mammon’s chest. “Oh, Mams. I love you too. I can’t imagine how alone you must have felt, especially the way your brothers treat you sometimes. But I’m here now, okay? I’ll always be on your side.”

You heard Mammon’s breath hitch a little before he leaned down to kiss your forehead.

Leviathan

You came to discover that there were a lot of little holidays in the Devildom, an occasional day or two when you didn’t have to go to classes. Sometimes you took the opportunity to travel to the human world, often to pick up small necessities or bring back foods you missed.

Today you were here to pick up something specific: strawberry preserves. You had brought back a jar from the human world recently and after having a bite, Levi had practically eaten the whole jar by himself. The preserves were the specialty of a local farm close to your house and Levi absolutely loved them.

Since you were there, you decided to pick up some different jars as well. An employee carefully packaged the jars of strawberry, peach, blueberry, and cherry preserves so that they wouldn't accidentally break on the journey. What he didn't know was that you would actually be travelling between completely different worlds.

As soon as you were back in the Devildom, you quickly made your way to Levi's room with your purchases. He was in the middle of playing a game but when he heard you come in, he turned around to welcome you back. "Hey, MC. How was your trip? What are all those boxes for?"

You opened the topmost one and showed him the little glass jar with the floral pattern on the lid. "I picked more of these up for you today, along with some other flavors I thought it would be nice to try."

Upon recognizing what it was, Levi immediately set down his controller. "MC, this is awesome! I love you!" You froze in shock at his words and it took Levi a couple of seconds before he realized what he had said. He too froze so that the two of you stood there, Levi bright red, neither moving or speaking.

Levi was the one to eventually break the silence. "I-I didn't mean that! Ignore me just now! I don't know what I'm saying." Your heart sank in disappointment. You had merely been shocked that Levi felt the same way about you as you did him. But now he was saying he didn't mean it?

Your disappointment must have been evident on your face because Levi stammered out, "I-I mean, I do mean it! It's just- aargh, this isn't how I wanted to say- Ugh, I don't know what to-" You decided it was best to just be upfront with him. "Listen Levi, I love you a lot. Have for a while now. Can I ask you how you feel about me?"

If he was bright red before, Levi's face looked almost neon red now. He stared at you open mouthed, as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You- You love me? Really? You aren't making fun of me or something?" You couldn't help but huff in response. "Levi, am I seriously the type of person who would make fun of you about this?"

It seemed to finally sink in for him then. "No, no you're not. MC, I- I love you too. Ah, I can't believe I said it out loud!" He clapped his hands over his mouth and you giggled at how adorably flustered he looked.

"Hey Levi, now that we know how we feel about each other, is it okay if I give you a kiss?" Levi practically fainted then, and you had to run down to the kitchens to get him a glass of water.

Satan

Satan was used to being alone. None of his brothers or classmates really shared any of his interests and he found that he much preferred being by himself. He was always too engrossed with his books and research that he never considered himself to be lonely.

That is, until he met you. You were somehow able to slowly inch yourself into his heart and without realizing it had become the most important person to him.

The other day, he found a funny quote in one of the novels he was reading and made a note of it to show you later. Then he started thinking about how much his daily routine included you in some way. You had classes together, ate meals together, talked and laughed together, and read late into the night together, enjoying each other’s company.

He realized that he was a lot happier now. Not that he was exactly unhappy before, but it was different with you. He was a lot more relaxed, more prone to smile and laugh. And a lot of it had to do with your influence and the time you spent together.

You were both reading in his room. There was a comfortable, relaxing silence and the atmosphere was especially cozy because of all the lit candles. You had prepared a tray for Satan: a plate of rosemary biscuits and a pot of black tea to wash them down with. This was another thing he appreciated about you; you were always taking care of him.

Both of you were engrossed in your books for a while, until suddenly you could feel Satan staring at you. You marked the page you were on and turned to him, a smile playing on your lips. “Is there something I can help you with?”

He looked at you for a few moments, unsmiling. You frowned, thinking there was something wrong, but before you could say anything Satan said “I just wanted to let you know that I love you dearly.”

You were surprised to say the least. Satan wasn’t really the type to talk about his feelings this explicitly. But after the initial shock, you realized how happy you were that the person you loved felt the same way about you. Satan didn’t let people into his life and into his heart that easily.

It was only when you heard Satan say “Oh love, I didn’t mean to make you cry” that you realized tears were streaming down your cheeks. You put down your book and practically flung yourself into his arms. He hugged you back tightly and waited until you were calm enough to speak. “I love you too Satan, so much. You mean the absolute world to me.”

You laughed wetly, thinking it funny that you were crying during one of the happiest moments of your life. Satan smiled at you fondly before handing you a handkerchief so that you could dry your eyes. 

You spent the rest of the night in his lap, smiling and giggling as he attempted to read you a story out loud.

Asmodeus

These kinds of days rarely happened, but they happened nonetheless. Mean, ugly days when no matter what outfit he tried on, it didn’t look right. No matter how much time he put into styling his hair, it just looked flat and dull. And his makeup seemed to refuse to cooperate with what he had in mind.

On these kinds of days Asmo locked himself in his room under the pretense of “needing self-care”. He hated having to speak with others because their usual compliments just sounded mocking and fake to his ears.

Asmo remembered an incident when one of his admirers had complimented his hairstyle and he had snapped at her furiously: “Shut up! Don’t make fun of me!” before storming away. He was incredibly embarrassed about it and apologized profusely to her. Since then, he figured it was safer to just hide out in his room.

But it was hard to be alone in his room when you were already there. You knew something was up with Asmo when you texted him saying "Hey, could you help me pick out a new coat?" and he replied with "Maybe another time, sorry darling!" He would have never refused an opportunity to go shopping with you.

So you raced to his room after classes and thankfully managed to slip in while Asmo was in the kitchen gathering some snacks. When he saw you standing in his room you could see he struggled to act nonchalant. "Darling! I didn't know you'd be here. I'm sorry, but I'm feeling a bit under the weather today. I wouldn't want you to catch anything so it'd probably be best if you went to your room."

Your heart clenched at the blatant lie. "Oh Asmo, I'll leave if you really want to be alone. But just know that I'm here for you. Whatever it is, there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. I want to be your strength."

You could see the conflict in Asmo's eyes as he stood quietly for a couple of minutes. You were about to turn around and leave, giving him some alone time, but he suddenly blurted out "I feel ugly today. I feel disgusting and horrible and hideous."

Asmo closed his eyes, embarrassed at his outburst and also dreading what inevitably came next: empty compliments and false flattery. He didn't want to be told he was beautiful when he didn't believe it.

But instead, you surprised him by enveloping him in a strong embrace. You alternated between gently patting his back and smoothing his hair and were rewarded with feeling the tension leave his body. You didn’t say anything, just continued to hold Asmo and wipe away the few stray tears on his cheeks.

Eventually you moved him to his bed, Asmo’s head lying on your chest and his arms wrapped around your waist. You weren’t sure how much time had passed but he seemed to be much calmer. He tilted his head up to look at you, his eyes searching your face, before almost whispering “I love you”. Your eyes widened in surprise. “You seem to always know what to do, MC, how to put me back together again. You’re honest with me and you actually listen to what I’m saying. I love you. Please stay with me forever.”

The two of you fell asleep like that, Asmo’s head on your chest and your hands intertwined. 

Beelzebub

Beel was a bit nervous, considering this was one of the most important Fangol games he had ever played in. Not only was it against their rival school, but also Beel’s coach had let him know that there would be scouters from the professional league coming to watch for potential talent.

It was too bad that you wouldn’t be able to watch him play. He considered you a very important part of his game-day routine. In the morning, you always made him a hearty breakfast and at the pre-game warmup, he frequently went to you for kisses and headpats. He considered you to be his good luck charm.

Unfortunately, you weren’t feeling well. You kept having bad stomach pain and the doctor had said it was probably your body reacting to some unfamiliar Devildom food. You were currently lying down in your room with a heating pad on and some warm green tea.

Beel missed you terribly. It had only been a few hours since he had last seen you but he couldn’t help but feel lonely. You were always there shouting and cheering for him on game days which made your absence feel that much larger.

His teammates and coaches could tell that something was off with him. They kept coming by to ruffle his hair or pat him on the shoulder and ask, “Is everything okay?” and “Don’t worry, you’ll do great!” 

Beel knew he was being silly. He would go see you right after the game! And yet his heart wasn’t in it during the pre-game stretches. He kept spacing out and staring at the wall instead of actually getting ready.

Suddenly, one of the assistant coaches came into the room. “Beel! MC is here! Now hurry up and stop moping around!” He saw you behind the coach looking a bit uncomfortable, your stomach must have still been bothering you. But you were also smiling at your little surprise.

Beel ran up to you and hugged you gently. “MC! What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in bed? Are you okay? Are you feeling better?” You laughed at his barrage of questions before reaching up on your tip-toes to give him a pat on his head. “I’m still in a bit of pain but I wanted to be here. I couldn’t miss such an important game! Now what’s this about you moping around?”

Beel blushed and ducked his head before mumbling, “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” You laughed again and Beel’s heart soared at the sound. He was suddenly struck with the realization of how much he loved you. You, who always had his back, who was always there to support him and motivate him. 

He wrapped his arms around you and whispered in your ear, “Thanks for being here, MC. I love you so much, you know. Sometimes it feels like my heart is going to burst.” Your arms tightened around him in response. “I feel the same way Beel, I love you so much. Now go and win this game, okay? Show them how amazing you are.”

After the game, Beel was surrounded by his coaches excitedly telling him about how many scouters were interested in seeing him play again. But all Beel could think about was having you in his arms again.

Belphegor

It occurred to Belphie one day after class as he was walking down the hallway. There was a couple leaning against the locker, engaged in a full display of public affection. They kept giggling and yelling “I love you!” at each other. Belphie fake gagged a little before moving past them.

But then it occurred to him. Is that kind of thing something... you wanted? Your relationship was relatively new both in terms of time and in that this was something Belphie wasn’t really experienced with. You were one of the people that knew him best though, apart from his brothers, and Belphie had just assumed that it would be okay to continue acting as he had always had around you.

What if secretly this was something you wanted as well? All of the endearments and displays of affection. Belphie hadn’t even- hadn’t even said the “L” word to you yet. This continued to trouble him even as he lied down for his afternoon nap. In his dreams he kept seeing visions of you crying while looking on enviously at other couples and asking, “Why can’t we be like that?”

By the time he sat down at dinner, Belphie was exhausted. And you of course noticed, especially since he was eating a lot less than he normally did. After dinner the two of you made your way to his room, where you were getting out some textbooks to study and he lied back down on his bed. “Hey Belphie, is everything okay? You seem a lot more listless than usual.

Belphie stared at you, contemplating whether to tell you what was going on. But in the end he decided against it. “It’s nothing, MC. Don’t worry about it.” His voice definitely didn’t sound like it was nothing. “Okay, Belphie. But let me know if you want to talk about anything, okay? I’m always here.”

For the next hour or so, you studied for your classes while Belphie tormented himself. He did love you. But he wasn’t good at expressing his feelings, especially in the way the couple in the hall had. What if that now you were dating, you expected him to change? Would he even be able to? Frustrated at the swirling questions in his mind, Belphie ended up blurting out “I love you!” to your back.

You turned around in your chair slowly, surprised at his sudden intensity. “I... love you too. Belphie, is everything okay? You’ve been acting strange all day.” He sighed. “MC, you know what kind of demon I am. I’m not good at all the... lovey-dovey stuff that other couples do. But if that’s what you want, I can at least try to be different.”

You shook your head. “I... honestly have no idea what you’re talking about. I know how you feel about me, Belphie. I don’t need you to be like “the other couples” because I fell in love with you and who you are. I don’t expect you to be someone you’re not. Where are you even getting the idea that I want something other than what we have?”

Ah, Belphie really did love you. There was no one else in the world that knew him so completely and still loved and accepted all parts of him. And... he just realized that he had said “I love you” for the first time by practically shouting it while your back was turned.

He got up and stood next to his desk. You were sitting and looking up at him, concern evident on your face. He smiled and leaned down to kiss you gently before mouthing against your lips, “I love you, MC.”

You could feel how hot your cheeks were as he moved away and went to lie back down on his bed. You pretended to be unbothered, flipping randomly through your textbook, but none of the words made any sense. You mumbled under your breath, “”You’re pretty good at lovey-dovey stuff.”