#really don't want that to show up in the actual tag so

[mono-dot-jpeg]

big sister - hyun ju

summary; a big sister will always protect, but when will she be able to relax?

genre/extra tags; one shot, found family, fluff, hurt/comfort?, canon typical violence, i dont like the second season writing, but i can not deny myself this diva, that's mother !!, teen! reader, hyun ju is the only reason i decided to watch this season, slight canon divergence bc i have the mind of a goldfish, canon typical sad heavy conversations, big sister is written to be seen as the korean honorific "unnie", older sister moments written in the point of view of a younger sibling, unintentional love letter for my appreciation to my sister, reader is implied to be some form of lgbt but not out (im projecting)

[platonic] [gender-neutral reader]

[warning; mentions of transphobic ideas]

a/n; before people ask, no, im not doing requests for this show. i just don't feel fully comfortable writing for squid game. i just really wanted to write this because, believe it or not, i write for my enjoyment. even i do switch off here every few months or every other month.

dinner had rolled around after an intense "game" of life or death. how you managed to survive this long is beyond you. but you might have a strong idea of why you're living so long, and it was the strong woman who was sitting beside you with some of the other women who were surviving so far.

the old lady had pointed out that hyun ju was not like other people. and it really was odd to her. but hyun ju was used to that. more than used to it. she lived through it since she decided to come out.

you listen to the conversation, not really putting your two cents in as it seemed like there was no right time to butt in. but as the conversation continued, the mood was just a little lighter. and that was more than enough morale. the old lady seemed to slowly understand hyun ju and her struggle.

you've zoned out so much, you almost fail to notice hyun ju sneaking an egg onto your shabby given lunch box meal. you look up at her as she gives you a warm look before pretending that she didn't just do that.

you mix the rice with not much thought, spilling some bits of rice and egg over its metal container before you slowly eat. unbeknownst to you, hyun ju glances back at you as if to make sure you're actually eating and not staring off with a tired look that no teen or child should have. you've seen everything, you're part of this sick game, she may not know your story, but she knows you don't deserve any of the bad you've been through.

you're the youngest in the entire room, a room filled with people with insurmountable debt and issues. hyun ju can only imagine your worry, your anxiety, the burden.

when the first game got serious, you were trying your damned hardest to keep your fear contained under the watchful eye of that robot scanning every movement. she was right in front of you, keeping you safe along with the rest of the people who lined up with her. you look like you wanted to cry the moment you got to the finish line. if she wasn't full of adrenaline at the time, she probably would've heard how hard your heart was beating.

somehow, she had taken two people under her care. you and young-mi. how could she not care about a young woman like young-mi and a teen like yourself? two anxious people forced to live a life full of debt and pain when you both deserved nothing but comfort and love.

people start lining up in their beds for nighttime. gi-hun was very insistent on being careful at night. it was dangerous. some people were not behind just killing others at night to sweeten the pot of money that loomed over everyone's head like a golden sun.

as most of the adults started to climb in their beds, you stand awkwardly. you weren't a stranger to sleeping a room full of people, but you were definitely a little paranoid after what gi-hun was talking about.

you find yourself naturally gravitating to hyun ju. her presence was just so calming, and she was so caring for others. it was hard not to get attached. young-mi had taken to calling her big sister. and you found yourself doing the same when you call out to her softly.

"big sister?" you gently tap at her arm as she turns to look at you. she silently urges you to continue speaking with a gentle look. you can see the tired in her eyes, but she looks at you, unwilling to say no. "this is embarrassing..." you mutter.

"it's okay. i'm here." she reassures you.

"can i stay with you tonight? i'm-" you choke a little bit on your words, not only out of embarrassment but fear. "i'm really scared. i don't wanna be alone." you confess.

she softens, "i would love to let you, but it's too risky. if people come for us, it would be very hard to fight back. i'm so sorry, kid." she opens her arm out for a hug, and you take the comfort you can get in this shitty place. "i will do my best to keep you safe, alright? when we get out of here, i'm going to find you again, and we can help each other, yeah? i'll protect you."

you nodded with her words, not finding the heart to say anything. she takes this as a sign to start guiding you into your bunk bed on top. at least the top bunks would be somewhat safer for you. you hesitantly climb into bed. "if a fight breaks out, hide. run. just be safe. i will find you, and you'll be safe." she continues to reassure you the best she can.

"okay. goodnight big sister." you whispered. "please be safe."

"i will." she said with a calm confidence that only she could pull off that didn't make you feel worried for her.

you hope that you get out of here, so you don't have to see the worried exhaustion in her eyes anymore.

she was a big sister by heart and soul. you just hoped her big heart wouldn't lead her to her doom. she protects and gives, but when will she relax?

[babyangelsky]

My Favorite Shows of 2024 💖✨

Welcome to Babyangelsky's 2024 Wrap Up! To commemorate my second year of watching QL dramas, and my first year of actually talking on my blog, I've compiled a series of lists to celebrate all the QL things I loved this year!

Please feel free to take my categories and make lists of your own and tag me in them if you do!

💜 All the lists can be found here! 💜

We've arrived at my final list! If you've read all of my lists, some of them, or only this one, thank you! I've really enjoyed looking back and talking about everything I loved this year.

May we receive even more QL blessings in 2025 💖

♡ Love Sea

There are many shows that I loved this year and many favorites among them, but this one is my very favorite. This is my show. I could not begin to tell you how excited I was when we learned that we'd be getting a new FortPeat project and that we were going to get to see them act together again. I love them both so much that I was always going to love this show because of them regardless of what it ended up being.

But what it ended up being was a really damn good show. I don't care what anyone says. It was so much more than just amazing chemistry and love scenes. I was writing about this show weekly. It had me talking about the acting and styling, keeping track of colors, doing scene breakdowns and character analysis, coming up with clown theories, the whole nine.

Love Sea is that girl. For me.

♡ I Saw You in My Dream

This show gave us the softest, sweetest love, mutual horniness, joyous sex, casual affection, supportive parents, and then without even trying, it also healed everyone's religious trauma in the kindest and gentlest way possible. It was wonderful and refreshing and healing to see queer characters have a warm, loving relationship with their faith and have it be something that gave them comfort and that they could share.

Seeing Ai just casually sitting in a cathedral to find some peace meant so much to me. I'm so happy and grateful that this show exists.

♡ Unknown

I want this show injected directly into my veins because, babes, everything about it is like heroin to me. It's not just a favorite of the year, it's a favorite of all time. It's quiet in this intense way that I really enjoy, which is a quality shared by a few other entries on this list. I love when a show can make me feel everything and god, did this make me feel everything.

I've already talked about how phenomenal the acting is in my favorite performances list but it's impossible to praise this show without also talking about the lighting and cinematography and colors and chemistry because it's all beautiful. It's a goddamn masterpiece.

♡ Knock Knock Boys

I genuinely love when a show takes me by surprise. I hadn't even fully decided whether I was going to watch it or not before it aired and I don't quite remember what convinced me to give it a chance, but I'm so glad that I did.

You look at it and think all you're gonna get from it is a fun silly time. And you do get a fun silly time! Then you go a little deeper and you realize what you actually have is a series about learning to communicate within relationships and outside of them, making peace with yourself, navigating love and sex, and figuring out what you really want in life, all tied up in this giant sparkly sex positive bow. It's an absolute gem.

♡ We Are

We Are is the epitome of what I like to call a cotton candy show: it's sweet, fluffy, and fun. There aren't really any stakes, there's not a whole lot going on. It's just a little treat there to give you a good time.

And boy howdy did it air when I needed it most. I had a very, very rough summer and every episode of this show felt like I was getting a hug. It was so cozy and comforting. It was a love letter to friendship and it has my entire heart.

♡ Our Youth

At the time of writing this series still has three episodes left before it ends and even though a lot can go wrong in three episodes, I'm still confident in saying that this is one of my favorite shows of the year. In fact, this may be my favorite Japanese BL. Full stop.

There is just something so...entrancing about it. That quiet intensity I mentioned earlier. I love how it uses silence and light, I love that every piece of dialogue feels like it weighs a thousand pounds, I especially love what Kamimura Kenshin has done and continues to with his portrayal of Haruki. I just love everything about this drama. Everything.

♡ Two Worlds

I was so damn excited for this show from the moment I first saw the pilot. It was one of my most anticipated dramas of the year and not only is it my favorite MaxNat project to date, it was my first time ever writing about colors!

The killer chemistry and truly beautiful love scenes were all but a given and the fantasy element was a trip, but writing about the colors was what really made this for me. The sleeper color demon in my brain (which sneaks in when you attend @respectthepetty Colors College) had me looking at the stitching on clothing and the exact shades used in any given plaid pattern to try and make sense of the random and ever-changing use of colors in this show and I had the time of my life doing it.

♡ Love for Love's Sake

We had this show for a grand total of TWO WEEKS. Isn't that insane?Just two weeks and it gave us these beautiful characters who tore us all open in the best way and left us gasping for air and infinitely glad that this show was made and that we got to watch it. That was my experience, at least.

To me this is a show about learning to heal and to love yourself through loving somebody else. There are as many interpretations of it as there are people who watched it--as it should be--and mine ultimately comes down to this: Myung Ha's best friend loved him so much and wanted so dearly for him to be happy that he created a reality where Myung Ha got the love and sense of belonging that he always deserved, and it was beautiful.

♡ Wandee Goodday

What's even better than being blessed with the gift that is bunny boy Great Sapol? Sex positivity! Condoms! Advocating for sexual health! The bunny boy being the greenest flag in all the land! Ace rep! Ace rep with a happy ending! BL Mother of the Year Cher! The first GMMTV wedding since same sex marriage was legalized in Thailand! Horny gym massages! Therapy! Title Kirati finally being a good boy in a BL!

And on and on and on! In my heart and in my soul, I'm a good time girl and this show was SUCH a good time. It was a delightful little treat from beginning to end.

♡ The Loyal Pin

You know a show is special when just hearing the intro music makes you feel happy and comforted and giddy with anticipation. This is a beautiful show. It feels like the dessert table at a fancy, expensive wedding.

Everything is well done. Everything. The acting and the story are incredible, the cinematography is stunning, the styling is gorgeous, the OST fucks. It's just so damn good from top to bottom that it's become my favorite GL ever. I love it dearly.

♡ My Stand-In

Characters like Ming who are the human embodiment of lead paint and the stories they feature in aren't for everyone, but they sure are for me. Especially when those stories are led by great actors like Up and Poom who can have me in my feelings with the tiniest shift in their expressions.

They had me so in my feelings, in fact, that I arranged my watch schedule so I would always have a fluffy show to decompress with after every episode. It was that intense and if I loved it as much as I did, it was became Up and Poom were that good. I love a sweet love story but I also love a story about people who are DEEPLY deranged about each other.

♡ The On1y One

Even though I did not watch the finale of this show and will not watch it until such time as a second season has been announced, filmed, and is ready to premiere, it was still one of my favorites of the year. I just can't be mad at it.

It had everything that I love. Quiet intensity and great acting and dialogue and EXPRESSIONS and Benjamin Tsang's face and yearning and tiny little moments that live in my mind rent-free. I just wish it was complete because I love these characters so much and want to see them happy.

♡ Century of Love

I was raised on telenovelas. I've been watching them my whole life. So of course I'm always going to have a soft spot for BLs that scratch that lakorn/telenovela itch in my brain and that's exactly what this show did!

It gave us soulmates! Reincarnation! The red string of fate! Magic rocks! Wet dreams after a 124 year dry spell! Questionable CGI! Goddess-approved yaoi! And holding all of it together was Daou and Offroad's phenomenal chemistry. I fucking love this show!

♡ 4 Minutes

There are few things I love more in this BL watching life than letting Dr. Sammon take me on a wild ride, and boy was this a WILD FUCKING RIDE. I didn't come up with a single theory or do anything but cheer Tonkla on the entire time it was airing, I just experienced it.

Every episode was a feast for the eyes, whether it was the acting or the cinematography or the music or, as was usually the case, a stunning combination of all those things. We had to wait so long for this one and even though I wish it was longer, it was entirely worth the wait.

♡ See Your Love

Another one that has yet to finish airing but that's so lovely in every way that it has already found itself among the ranks of my favorite Taiwanese BLs ever. No surprise considering the team that made it also made another one of my faves.

And it really is lovely, unhinged assassination attempts and all. The love between the mains is a phenomenal combination of healing and horny and the story gives its characters--especially its deaf protagonist--so much humanity and treats them with care and respect. Not to mention that it features some of the best BL parents I've ever seen.

♡ High School Frenemy

When I tell you I was so prepared for this to be a series that I ended up dropping after a few weeks. The only reason I even watched it initially was for Mark Pakin and then something happened and I ended up liveblogging all sixteen episodes and loving it so incandescently that it became one of my favorite shows of the year.

And it was alllll because of Sky and Nani and that phenomenal chemistry that came out of nowhere and hit me--and all of us--with a steel chair. Watching Saint and Shin say the most UNHINGED ROMANTIC SHIT TO EACH OTHER was truly one of the highlights of my year. The character writing was great, the acting was great, the friendships were top tier. Truly the biggest surprise of 2024.

If the "more than friends less than lovers" shirt was a show, it would be this show.

♡ Sugar Dog Life

What a darling little treat of a show. It's so cozy and comfy and sweet. I'm always going to be a sucker for "food as a love language" shows and I enjoyed watching these two fall in love over meals so much.

As an aside, I spent almost the entire time slightly tormented because I couldn't figure out who Tanaka Koki reminded me of but I'm very happy to say that I figured it out: Sea Dechchart.

♡ Jack and Joker

For me, it's impossible not to love something that was so clearly made with all the passion, joy, and love in the world and that is exactly the energy that Yin and War brought to this project and I adored it.

This show made me feel the entire spectrum of human emotion every single week. I was never not excited for the next episode, even when it made me sad. It was fun and chaotic and beautiful to look at and I'm so happy that it exists.

♡ First Note of Love

This series is just...so gentle. Even though loss is a central theme in the story, it's never portrayed in a looming, haunting way. Matt's presence is always felt but in a way that's very human and beautiful.

At its core, this story is about all the ways love and grief are intertwined and giving yourself a second chance and letting love back in and allowing yourself to feel and I love it so dearly. So dearly.

♡ Dead Friend Forever

This is the show that finally got me to talk on my blog. I had such a great time being a clown and coming up with theories and reading other people's theories and spending entirely too much time looking at the minute details of that creepy damn mask.

It was a wild ride from start to finish and I enjoyed every minute of it. And it gave me TaBarcode, which was a gift I will cherish always even if thinking about them makes me want to listen to Rollin' in the Deep by Adele.

[alrightbuckaroo]

What a year, huh! I haven't written nearly as much as I did last year, but June was my very first time feeling confident writing smut during the entire nine years I've been writing fanfiction, so I'm treating that as a personal victory. Anyways, here's the goods, my personal favorites are in red (you already know, string of fate):

tender eyes that shine | M | 16.1k words

A character study in which Carlos learns to love himself a little more, even the soft parts.

love can pull you out of yesterday | T | 38.9k words

The day TK falls through the ice is a day that Carlos doesn't want to remember, but it's one he can't forget. It's the day he's currently stuck living over and over and over again.

something to give each other | E | 11.9k words

12 times TK and Carlos love each other in their rawest form. or Sex. 12 ways.

goodnights and goodbyes | G | 4.6k words

TK and Carlos journey to New York for the first time to attend TK's high school reunion. While Carlos is dreading the thought of socialization in a new city, TK is dreading the thought of running into something, or rather someone, from his past.

furever home | G | 4.9k words

“Do you think he bites?” TK asks, bringing Carlos back to the present. His question is laced with uncertainty, but it’s not strong enough to raise cause for concern. “You didn’t seem to mind biting all that much the other night,” Carlos playfully counters, pulling out the plastic food dish that’s covered in imprinted black paw-prints. Pun, somewhat intentional. TK, fondly, rolls his eyes. “Really?” Carlos' chuckles are lost in the mix of kibble hitting the bottom of the plastic bowl. “Force of habit,” He defends with a shrug. or Carlos and TK get a dog.

modus operandi | E | 1.1k words

Carlos walks through the front door, smelling of gunpowder, sweat, and satisfaction.TK almost falls apart on the kitchen floor right then and there. He’s just finishing putting Lou II back in his tank and putting the rest of the bell pepper away. “Hey baby,” TK greets, his smile turning a bit electric when he seems the gleam in Carlos’ eyes. He watches as Carlos takes off his hat and removes his holster. “Just finished feeding Lou II. He was hungry.” “He’s not the only one,” Carlos declares before undoing the knot in his tie. He collides with TK, mouths overtaking one another, no air escaping between them. Carlos tastes like married life, missed dinners and the right kind of mayhem. or Carlos solves the case and needs to put all of the adrenaline somewhere.

devour me | E | 20.5k words

de·vour [ dih-vou-uhr, -vou-er ]: to consume destructively, recklessly, or wantonly or kinktober prompt fills

come home to my heart | M | 2.8k words

TK crawls up his body as if he’s a path only he gets to trek. As soon as they’re face to face, TK briefly stills, falling even more in love with his husband’s eyes. Brown, warm, and somehow both inviting and begging to be let in. TK wants to tell him that he doesn’t need to beg; there’s a place in his heart where he’s always welcomed. Carlos smiles and TK’s pulled out of his thoughts, smiling back, almost subconsciously. He can’t help it, Carlos just has this effect on him. He leans in, and Carlos opens his mouth, the heat tantalizing and teasing. or a 5x05 Coda in which we see "sexy time" reach fruition and that loving kiss become something more

moments in love

when the morning comes

a pretty good team

it's okay. we're okay.

sidewalk chalk, covered in snow

Don't worry, I'm not done, I made a couple of gif sets too!

“and you were gazing at me, more than gazing — my gaze was dreaming you, and yours was dreaming me.”

a boy's best friend is his mother

Thanks to @heartstringsduet, @bonheur-cafe @thisbuildinghasfeelings, @whatsintheboxmh, and @henrygrass for the tags!

No pressure tagging the lot of you because I want everyone to show off:

@reyesstrand, @herefortarlos, @carlos-in-glasses, @paperstorm, @actual-sleeping-beauty, @ambiguouspenny

@sapphic--kiwi, @strandnreyes, @sheholdsthemoon, @sanjuwrites, @decafdino

@danieljradcliffe, @freneticfloetry, @guardian-angle22, @goldenskykaysani, @hereghostslive

@honeybee-taskforce, @kiloskywalker, @lutavero, @literateowl, @lemonlyman-dotcom

@lightningboltreader, @orchidscript, @irispurpurea, @ironheartwriter, @irispurpurea

@your-catfish-friend, @three-drink-amy, @theghostofashton, @thebumblecee, @tellmegoodbye

@rosedavid, @reasonandfaithinharmony, @ravens-words, @captain-gillian, @nancys-braids

@emsprovisions, @never-blooms, @eclectic-sassycoweyes, @welcometololaland, @rmd-writes

@basilsunrise, @carlos-in-glasses, @carlos-tk, @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut

@mikibwrites, @everlastingday, @noxsoulmate, @lire-casander and of course, the biggest open tag every <3

and as always, if it's been hard to create this year, that doesn't make you any less of a writer, artist, gif maker, etc. you just needed a break, we all do sometimes :)

[creatingblackcharacters]

Where is the line when it comes to calling out how people draw black characters? Im genuinely asking. Just did some digging in the elphaba tag. 28/35 of the top art did a great job of depicting her microbraids. Of those 7 that did a bad job, all but 2 of them put in effort to draw microbraids, its just that some of those artists arent very good. So… theyre practicing. Additionally, there were 2 pieces of art (in addition to that 35) that were clearly depicting the musical and book art (obvious fans for years, from before cynthia was cast and the movie). So… wheres the line? Do we call out just those 2 who didnt put in a real effort to draw her microbraids? Do we call out all 7 who didnt draw them well? Do we message them privately, even though we really dont know them at all besides this one piece we happened to come across? Do we send them an ask about it and hope they arent malicious? It stands to reason that they KNOW they should put in an effort, theyre in the *obvious* minority of artists in this fandom so… odds are they do not give a fuck about depicting Black hairstyles well. I dont want to make a fuss where its not beneficial, especially as a non black person, for the obvious reasons of how fandoms typically treat black fans. But, there IS an issue, however small a percentage… so wheres the line?

I must admit, this one gave me an off vibe 😅 To one of your concerns, Let me put it this way:

"I know that Nazi will never change his mind, so I'll let him keep speaking loudly in the room where I and everyone else is sitting. It won't make a difference if I say anything to him. If we ignore him, he'll go away."

Is that true?

Or will speaking up let that Nazi know that at least ONE person in the room hears their bullshit and doesn't accept it? Will speaking up let the people in the room that the Nazi was targeting realize that everyone else in the room isn't also a Nazi that condones the way they're being treated? Will it allow them to feel stronger in speaking up? Will it at least show that you are not a fellow Nazi, because your actions are what deliver- and silence and tolerance delivers nothing, in this case?

"Making a fuss where it's not beneficial"- I always say here that my entire purpose is not to change your minds, but to shatter the excuse of your ignorance. I could have always just ended it with "everyone's a goddamn racist for funsies on here and I hate all of you"- because in my experience when we talk about "where's the line" on here, it's almost non-existent for the majority, not the minority! It's incredibly tempting to damn you all!

Instead, I made an entire blog to give people a chance. If I, who actually undergoes the very bigotry I teach about, have the grace to do that for you, I do believe that everyone else can reach inside for the strength to apply and hold accountable. There's always a benefit to speaking up against racism and injustice, even if it's not "changing their mind".

Now, if you genuinely just don't want to do that, then don't- but recognize that that's not because nothing can be done! That said, you don't have to fight every battle, and every battle doesn't have to be a fight! For those who you genuinely think are just "new" or "learning" artists, when you point out the issue, you can offer guidance. "Hey, here's an idea on how to better capture this braid pattern in a way that more accurately reflects Black hair". It doesn't have to be a "callout" off rip. If they don't take it well, then that's on them. That's a reflection of their character, not yours. And as a nonblack person, that is a role in your allyship that is important, because I don't expect Black people to have to show grace and teach to those who do wrong by us.

So no, I can't give you some statistically defined line of "oh this is antiblackness". because it's not that simple and it never has been.

[nadinescholtes]

Q&A

About sending Asks:

-No NSFW, AI, NFT stuff

-don't send me pictures of your Ocs, it’s very sweet of you to want to show them to me, you are doing great! But my ask boy gets easily full of them. Same with if my OCs would meet/befriend your Oc. Don't DM them to me too, they are full!

-I don't do requests! You can always commission me if you want me to draw something for you. Responding with art is something I do on my own.

-If you ask something that was asked already many times I will most likely not respond.

Can I draw or write something about you Ocs or Oc's universes?

Go for it! Just add credits please, and tag or send links to me so I can see them.

Why don't you answer my asks or DM's?

Sometimes Tumblr is weird and Asks just disappear even though my Inbox says there is still something in there, but doesn't show up. My asks or DM's can be too full and it takes time to respond to all of you. Or you ignored my Ask rules.

Do you write fics?

Not really, I do write stories but not in the way you're used to fics. They're like scripts because I write those before I do comics.

Can I repost your art?

No, even if you credit it! You can reblog here on Tumblr or Bluesky. But I will not allow it because of Art theft!

Can I use your TSBS or Laia comics for Dubs?

Sure, but please ask first and use credits! Even if you make a Dub of an already dubbed video of my comics and that creator gives you permission, ASK ME TOO PLEASE! And send me links I want to see it. But don't use comics like Cool Uncle or from other books!

Can I use your art for AI or NFT?

HELL NO!

What is your gender identity/pronouns?

I'm a woman. My pronunciation is she/her, but I'm also comfortable with they/them. (I actually don't care about what pronouns you use for me)

What do you use to make art?

-IMac that is over 10 years old and can't handle much anymore.

-Cintiq UX21

-Clip Studio Paint

-Krita

Do you do livestreams?

I wish and I tried but my old computer gets easily overheated.

What is your job?

I'm an independent illustrator (but still part job hunting). I draw commissions to pay the bills and hold my head barely above the water. And no I don't earn money with the TSBS comics, they are drawn with the little free time I have. (or in the middle of the night, because I can't sleep)

Did you study art?

Yes, I made my graduation in arts and a bachelor of arts in communication design. But to be honest I learned how to draw on my own.

What books did you work on?

You can find them in my portfolio. I had many book/comic commissions and a few of my own like Cool Uncle.

When will the next page of Cool Uncle come out?

I know, 12 pages are left for me to draw, but commissions come first. And right now I have a strong obsession with TSBS and work on those in my free time, so I will work on Cool Uncle when I have the motivation again.

Are you neurodivergent?

Yup, I have Autism and a learning disability. And other mental health issues I won't go into depth here.

How old are you?

Old...

You have so many websites, which are you most active on?

Tumblr and Bluesky, the others are just for dumping my art, and will most likely not or late respond to the comments and Dm's there.

Do you have Kofi?

Kofi, here you go! I also have a Patreon but I post there rarely...

[avelera]

#THANK YOUUU#i see people project a political motivation onto him that really doesn't exist nearly as much as one may assume#and again with the 'sassy mean viktor' thing. when he teases jayce it's usually light friendly teasing#sometimes i see him getting written like a grandma whacking you with his cane and telling you to pick your shit up off the floor#of course he's a part of politics because he's from the undercity and he's faced discrimination because of that and bc of his disability#his existence is politicized in a way it's clear he never wanted it to be. he does not lean into it though. he tries to stick to science#which to him is objective and apolitical - of course it very much isn't and that becomes a point of conflict plotwise#it is neither free of emotion nor untouched by political agendas#i mean like imo there's a reason we don't get much of viktor's backstory or see him go to the undercity or talk about it#(rather one of the pivotal things they choose to show us from his childhood is his empathy for Rio. he's lonely but has a big heart)#to me it's because that's not the story he wants to tell. he doesn't think it important to emphasize that connection.#he wants to be seen as his own person worthy of legacy on his own merit. he feels shackled by every perceived setback in his life#whether that's his leg or his illness or his place of upbringing. he sees those things as necessary to overcome and overcompensate for#so he can just do the work he wants to do unburdened by physical limitations or the perception and judgment of those around him#i feel like people might project onto him what they feel are 'correct' or 'progressive' ways of thinking that someone like him should have#and thus ignore how he's actually presented as thinking and feeling about himself and his place in the world#he knows he's worked twice as hard for half the recognition compared to piltover students at the academy#but he has no desire to utilize that as political fodder to make a point or even start a conversation about zaun#he just wants to be allowed to have the opportunities he deserves to work on important science.#i think he'd prefer if peers stop making a point about him being from the undercity and congratulating him on coming so far#and just treat him equally#he doesn't forget where he's from and as we see he genuinely wishes to help the undercity population out of compassion#for their plight. but there's no indication he wanted to engage in the larger piltover/zaun conflict and definitely not become a#political pawn in it as he perceived jayce getting sucked into.#thank you avelera for being one of the true viktor understanders#i hope when i finally try to write some fic i do him justice @asgardian--angels

I've absolutely LOVED your tag essays on these meta posts and I just wanted to thank you for this one, highlight, and add my agreement that there is a tendency in fandom for people to ascribe "correct' or "progressive" ways of thinking to characters that they share themselves or would execute on if they were in that character's position.

However, I also see this tendency as part of fandom-inevitable Flanderization and/or process of filing away all the sharp and unique edges a character might have, often until they devolve into thinly veiled versions of the author, or who the author would want to be in their place, up to and including ascribing progressive and activist politics to characters who are apolitical or even conservative.

To me, I find such changes to characters boring overall. I don't want to read about characters doing what they "should" do or being perfect little paragons with nothing that can be criticized about them. Holding perfect political views and acting stridently on them is just one way I see this evolution happen when characters inevitably drift from canon to fanon over the course of repeated fanworks.

That said, 1) I will never, ever actually fault an author for telling the story they want to tell. I might not personally find it interesting, but people should always tell the story they want to tell but also:

2) I think there is a plausible tale to tell with Viktor becoming political. There's plenty of seeds and events there within his story and the wider story of Arcane for him to get sucked into the political maelstrom and even become a champion on Zaun's behalf as a political entity in a way he never does in the show. And I'd be super curious to read such a fic! I just think it would require an extra step within the fic for me to find it plausible for Viktor to do so, given his demonstrated blindspot and apathy towards politics. Honestly, a mirror story where Viktor gets sucked into political life in Zaun the same way Jayce got sucked into political life in Piltover would be super interesting, either as a total AU (where Viktor is political instead of Jayce) OR with both becoming political, and Viktor realizing he's been overly harsh to Jayce and that if the situation was reversed, he'd do a lot of the same things to help his home.

Anyway, at the risk of another long and rambling tangent, I just want to say I love these tags and also I really loved your observations about how Viktor wants to be judged on his own merits! Getting off my soapbox now lol

Thank you for talking about how Viktor wouldn't be mean to Jayce! I do really agree that fandom really tries to boil them down to their basics or preexisting tropes and it really sucks to see people think he'd really insult Jayce or hit him with his cane. Something I started thinking about after I read that post is that so much of the cast are Zaunite and nearly every one of them are sharp-tongued, and so maybe that's why people think Viktor would be mean? But that doesn't really take into account his personality or how he might feel he has to present himself as someone from Zaun living in Piltover.

Yeah the "hitting with the cane" trope definitely feels OOC for him to me. I could maybe see him tapping or hooking Jayce to get his attention but... even then. We rarely see Viktor use his cane or crutch for anything but their intended purpose.

If I may extrapolate out, I find it notable that when he has the cane pre-time skip he leaves it aside when possible, like when standing at the blackboard, and tries to mask his disability. I know for many people with disabilities, they love their aids, and the aids given them freedom of movement and from pain, but I would venture to say that Viktor does not see his crutch or his cane all that favorably.

I think Viktor sees his disability aids as necessary indignities that he'd rather do without if he could. See how quickly he drops his crutch once he tests out being able to run post-experimentation. He probably only goes back and gets it, rather than abandoning it there, because he wants to continue to hide the experiments he's doing.

Combine that with Jayce noting how he saw his leg as a "weakness" and I think there is further evidence that Viktor sees his crutch or cane rather negatively.

Which is a roundabout way of saying, I don't think Viktor would use his crutch or his cane as a hook or a bludgeon against Jayce not only because he's arguably the most pacifistic character in the whole show, but also because I don't think he really likes using it or thinking about it for anything but its intended purpose of assisting his mobility. I think Jayce views Viktor's crutch more favorably than Viktor does, he sees it as a part of Viktor in a positive way, an extension of him.

As for the topic of Zaun, I do agree that I think some fics give Viktor more of a, hmm, "class consciousness" around Zaun than he's shown to have?

For example:

Viktor only ever calls it "the undercity" in S1. Calling it Zaun at all is something that radicals like Silco do, it's even implied that Silco is kind of resurrecting a long-dead name for the area as part of his separatist movement, so it might not even be in wide use beyond Silco's circles, like Viktor may not have even really heard of it as a common term in S1. In addition, if "Zaun" is a politically charged term, I wouldn't be surprised if Viktor would avoid calling it that at all, because he's not a separatist or a radical, he's just from there and he thinks of it as "the undercity". Viktor is not shown as someone from the undercity who really wants to rock the boat in Piltover politically and he's certainly not a separatist, he wants to help the undercity as a disadvantaged community within Piltover.

The only time I think we see Viktor call it "Zaun" is somewhat in the abstract in S2, when he admires Vander's vision for "Zaun as it could have been". To me, it felt like he was discussing Zaun as a distant ideal rather than as the place where he was currently located or a political identity he identified with. He admires that other people who are more political than him had a cohesive vision for something the undercity that Viktor knows could become.

Viktor is actually incredibly apolitical, which is interesting when you consider he was assistant to Heimerdinger, who was head of the Council. He considers Jayce's time as a Councilor a "waste of our time", it never even occurs to him to use that political power to improve lives in the undercity, instead of science. In general Viktor tends to be pretty blind to other discipline besides science when it comes to bettering the world, and is even dismissive of them, which I think is a bit narrow-minded of him to be honest.

Viktor's dismissiveness towards anything that isn't science when it comes to improving lives is certainly a factor in how his and Jayce's relationship becomes strained in S1, he never sees Jayce's work as a Councilor as potentially offering a broader avenue for achieving their goals to help the undercity, not once, which is actually rather baffling and interesting that he has this blindspot (possibly because of my theory that at a certain point in S1, once he knows he's rapidly dying, Viktor is only using "helping the undercity" as a smokescreen to others but mostly himself to cover up his shame for the fact he really just wants to use Hextech to save himself while the undercity has become secondary, but he doesn't want to admit that. That also explains his shame when he sees Sky's notes and realizes he's been trying to save himself to the exclusion of all else, that he's lost sight of his larger goals and dreams.)

Even when Viktor starts the cult in the undercity, it's not a politically motivated enclave, he doesn't describe it as part of a Zaunite movement. It really is just posed as a refuge for those in need, separate entirely I would argue from the Piltover vs. Zaun conflict, unlike Ekko's Firelights who provide shelter AND do community action and freedom fighting. Indeed, Viktor heals Salo, a Councilor, the most privileged of the privileged from Piltover. I'd argue this is an additional sign that he is "colorblind" when it comes to the conflict between the two cities.

Finally, I would argue that Viktor is from a generation that somewhat precedes the class conflicts and brewing civil war between Piltover and the undercity. I think he's from a generation where the cities were still linked enough that they were more like the "good" and the "bad" side of the tracks. He was smart enough to get out and make something of himself in the big city, he has a goal of helping to uplift those he left behind, but he sees them as one city still even if he has sympathy later for a separatist movement. The way he talks about the undercity to me feels less like a separate entity and more a particular disadvantaged community within Piltover.

Anyway, I've gone off on like three crazy wild tangents based on your reply. Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed that post! And I agree, of all the Zaunites, Viktor is actually quite different from the others and that is really interesting to explore!

[cvnntagious]

new years appreciation !!

as the year comes to an end, there are a few specific people on here that i'd like to thank ! in my little time on here, i've made some amazing friends, and i want to really show them some love <3. i highly encourage others to hop on the new years appreciation train, no pressure whatsoever, using the '☆ sturntumblr '24 closing .ᐟ ‧₊' tag—highlighting a few of the friends you've made this year and/or kept from previous years :)

@mattscoquette — we don't talk often, but when we do, i throughly enjoy our conversations. you were one of the first people outwardly express your liking for my writing, and i'm convinced it has lead to a lot of the successes i've had on here thus far. not only did it mean a lot to me at the time, but i also still hold what you probably thought was such a simple compliment so dear to my heart. you're one of the sweetest and most genuine people i've met... all in all, i just love you

—☆

@eph3merall — you're so fucking creative, always coming up with ideas for aus i couldn't have even thought up in a dream.. i actually strive to have your imagination dude. also, i'm in love with you?? like, you're so actually so funny and easy to talk to. i usually feel soo awkward talking to people on here but i literally never felt that way talking to you... and omg thank you soso much for constantly uplifting me, i take every kind word you've said to me to heart. you're so cute it makes me wanna sob

—☆

@sturnioz — after our first real convo, i felt like i'd known you for much longer than couple minutes. you’re honestly one of my closest tumblr friends, despite not knowing each other for long, and i’m sooo lucky to have met you. you were the first and only person i followed for a while when i was new to tumblr, so when you followed me back a few months later, i genuinely jumped for joy. you're so insanely talented, in every sense of the word, and i genuinely hope you consider pursuing some sort of writing career cs your shit is so.. like, i'm dripping every time (still kicking my feet at you genuinely enjoying my content cs that was so not expected). you're actually hilarious lmfao, even if you don't mean to be. also, why are we literally the same person? we have the same thoughts, sometimes at the same time, and the same/similar takes one literally almost everything we’ve talked about so far. i was genuinely sitting there in disbelief when i was talking to you... anyways, cory forever !

—☆

@submattenthusiast — you're probably the best thing that's happened to me on here, if i'm being honest. i'm soo lucky to have you in my life. you're so sexy and silly, like, ughh i just wanna eat you all the time. i enjoy literally every conversation we have with each other and look forward to talking to you every day. i'm honored to be able to call you my girlfriend, even though you piss me off most of the time... i know you're insecure about your writing but omf, whenever you say you don't like something you've written, it makes me wanna grab your shoulders and shake you until you're dizzy. you're so fucking talented. i love everything you write, and will read anything you put out (maybe not a piss kink fic but um.. ykwim). you're literally always there for me when i need you, and i hope you know i'll always be here for you as well. if i could, i'd talk to you every second of every day, but i can't, and that really eats at me ☹️ still, i wish to spend so much more time with you for as long as i possibly can

this will be my last real post of 2024 before i begin my au special in a few days ! i love all of you guys so very much, especially my mutuals, even if i don’t talk to you often/we’ve never talked at all. see y’all next year :)

no pressure tags : @sturnsrecord @ariestrxsh @55sturn @chrissturnsfav @hoes4matthew @sweetshuga @cupiidk1lls @secretlocket @ifwdominicfike (much love to all these wonderful tagged moots) + anyone who wants to participate

-love, your grandma cvnty ☆!

[xalandrix]

it is not an easy assignment to extrapolate all the way from a 2-8k PWP to holiday family plans, but the people want to know, so here goes nothing

None the Wiser:

Christmas Eve is spent at a long and lavish gala at Malfoy Manor, where Harry and Draco attempt to beat their high score for the number of rooms they can fuck in without getting caught (portraits count). Everyone assumes they’re scarce because Harry is snubbing Lucius and Narcissa, when really it's all Draco's doing.

Christmas Day is spent at the Burrow, where the goal is to shag in Ginny's bed. (Draco insisted on getting railed in her bed the first time out of a convoluted sense of staking his claim to Harry. Ginny caught them and it somehow became a Game.) Draco and George get along horrifyingly well, and often plot an elaborate distraction to give Harry and Draco the opportunity to execute said shagging.

The Delicate Parts of You:

i think this is a version of Draco that distances himself significantly from his family, but i don't think he ever really fits in with the Weasleys. like they're nice to each other, but they never click. i think Draco and Harry show up for Christmas dinner at the Burrow, then spend a few days with Teddy after that, and then spend the rest of the time traveling together. often to the beach, but other places too!

I Know the Sound of Your Heart:

i think these two try so hard for each other. Draco knows how much Harry values family, so he puts in the effort to get on good terms with the Weasleys. and Harry wants to be good for Draco, so he's on his best behavior when visiting the Malfoys. all the family relations have actually been improved by Harry and Draco becoming creatures, because it has encouraged everyone to let go of the small stuff and focus on what really matters. specific plans vary a lot, but there's a lot of family time and a lot of warmth.

Harry Potter's Bedroom Tips for Snake Animagi:

my headcanon for this fic is significantly influenced by the additional *checks notes* 45k i have written about them, so i'm gonna pass on this one

Reasonable Precautions for the Investigation of Suspicious Artefacts:

pretty sure these guys visit family on Christmas Eve but spend Christmas Day at Hogwarts, looking after the kids who can't (or don't want to) go home for the holidays. it's really important to both of them.

Like a Broomstick for Giants:

beats the hell outta me, dude. i got nothin

thanks to @citrusses and @moonmanatee for tagging me!

[y-vna]

your tumblr inspirations?

I have many! However let me direct you to three of my biggest inspos (+ honorable mentions below) who deserve all the praise and love! TW: really sappy

read: I have a lot of inspirations but I felt like really talking about some of the biggest influences to this blog, mostly people I've known for a while, interact with pretty often, and could write a lot about more naturally. And ultimately 3 major people came to mind..

@sugarish - Vivi is literally always sweet, no matter the day or time, always outwardly level-headed and fun to talk to! She's not just my inspiration for her incredible blog, but just as a general person I really look up to her. The fact just having conversations with her makes me really happy says a lot, and she has always been amazing at comforting and relating, and definitely a writer I adore. Being at a low point in my blog, I remember clearly how much better I felt when Vivi extended her support to me and really made me feel like a person, also playing along with my insanity papa roleplay (that sounds wrong). Her moodboards are always really stylistic, it seems like so much thought is put into each image and each placement. They are literally just so scrumptious and yummy. The uniqueness of the moodboards made by Vivi has definitely affected me and some of the styles of moodboards I have adapted. Thank you Vivi, for taking time to understand and speak to me in a way few others would!

@fairytopea - I feel like vini is just hard to NOT like. She's honest and not afraid to be real, which has helped me develop my own character. She's gorgeous inside and out, and it really shows in the work she posts. Genuinely really perfect, the color matching soothes my brain and I always find myself looking forward to the next fairytopea post. Just how perfectly they blend, it's really everything. I feel she is a role model to many in the community, always offering help and although we joke a lot, we really do admire her. And once you get to know her and know she (probably) won't bite, she's very enjoyable and pleasant to be around. Actually I think the only thing really scary about vini is how talented she is!! Def has been a lot of times I have drew inspiration from Vini's style because of how amazing it is. I reslly love how when I asked Vini for help on various things in the community and she added her own inputs on ideas and asked me, really made me feel special 🌟 Thank you for everything Vini, love being your secretary!

@p-oisn - Chi!! We've known each other for quite the while now, shockingly over a year?? That's kinda crazy, because I knew I wanted to be a huge chi nation member from DAY 1! I don't think I have ever looked at a p-oisn moodboard and not absolutely loved it, and those moodboards have also brought out a lot of my own best work. Chi is actually so genuine and you can tell just how passionately she interacts with everyone. I am so grateful to be her mootie and I will always hype up those masterpiece moodboards. Have you ever met a person who loves seals, who HASNT been super sweet? Yea I haven't. I think if I had to pick one person who has made my "style" what it is now, I owe a lot to chi. Sometimes when I've been unmotivated to make anything, Chi's moodboards really speak to me and inspire me. Thank you for all your positivity and encouragement for the past year, Chiseal!

Very honorable mentions:

(not tagging because I don't want to bother too many people)

June, Mari, Mar, Pixy, Liaa, Evie, Nini, Suni, etc! (Definitely missed people 💔)

[kaija-rayne-author]

Rubs eyes and the wrinkle in my forehead.

Really, if you don't like someone's critical post? Maybe roll your eyes and move on? Basic social media manners there.

Girlstandstill, perhaps you should've stuck to your 'you usually don't'. You probably bit off more than you can chew with me. I'm in pain, and I'm not in the mood to allow someone to call something I wrote for me and like minded people, from my broken heart, be called a bad take.

Chibichibisa, thank you for your measured response.

Epler is on record as saying he disliked Solas and wanted to punch him. I'm not pulling it out of my ass. Frankly, at this point, after the interviews, the AMAs and the probable lies, I'm not minded to believe a word he says. Judging anyone's mood based on a social media post is... a choice. Fool me once, shame on me and all. Harassment is never okay. I've also unfollowed all the devs for behavior unbecoming a creative professional on social media.

You're right, it didn’t go anywhere 'til Corinne came on board. I wish she hadn't. Because now she's doing interviews claiming it's 'identity politics' and 'culture wars' making the game tank rather than just owning that the team fucked up and shipped a game that just isn’t good on so many levels I honestly probably couldn't list them all. She also claimed somewhere they were going back to the roots of DA. That's bloody laughable at this point.

I would much rather this game had remained in developmental hell than ever have been released as it is. Or never even made at all. I'm really tired of people defending the devs like they're some poor coal miners working for company scrip. They. Are. Not.

These are supposed to be seasoned professionals with the skills to make a game that fits with the other games in the series. Someone made decisions every step of the way. Someone had a creative vision that did not work in the DA world. And they went with it, anyway. No matter how many things they had to twist out of shape to make it happen. Am I unfair in blaming the Creative Director for that? Isn't that his actual job?

And I highly doubt EA was going over the script with a magnifying glass and saying 'here, make the writing worse here'. Why? EA likes to make money. They would've wanted a successful game. DAV is not a successful game. Every single clue points at it sinking so badly. And Corinne's most recent interview read more like a resume.

I was more in my feelings with my original post, (on my wall, tagged appropriately with the critical tags) but I write from the perspective of a professional creative, working in a similarly brutal industry who makes a product for people to buy.

I'm not just a fan who knows very little. I've worked in creative industries for fifteen or more years. I know of what I speak.

If my product sucks, I expect to be scolded at best for it. I expect to own anything I fucked up because that is how a professional creative acts. The devs act like they had nothing at all to do with how bad it came out.

They've misled us from the start, they blamed the marketing team for 'misrepresenting the game' in the gameplay reveals when the marketing team actually did a pretty good job at showing the game for what it is.

The devs were the ones we all depended on to make it at least decent. Which, on a number of levels, they did not. That is their responsibility, as the creators of the game, to own. Just like it's my responsibility if my product sucks. Is it hard? Yup. It's hard in every single creative industry on the planet.

It's not right, but that is the world we live in.

Does late stage capitalism suck? Yup. Do I want capitalism to die? Unregulated capitalism, absolutely. Are most of, if not all AAA studios struggling? The ones I know of are. And they're going to keep on struggling while they keep working the way they do.

Personally, I've developed a greater interest in indie games since playing DAV. My money won't be going to AAA/corporate owned studios anymore, no matter how much I love pretty graphics.

BioWare has always been very clear that they have a lot of control over the games they make. So either they're lying about that, and EA really is the big, evil monster. Or people are blaming EA unfairly, and it really is BioWare's fault. In all fairness, it's very possibly a bit of both. (To be clear, I hate EA. I hate late stage capitalism. It should not be this way.) But unless someone spills the beans, we will never know who is truly responsible for the poor product they released.

It's all guessing.

All we can honestly know is that they released a poor product. One that is under fair critique by reasonable people (I'm ignoring the existence of the arsewipes because this isn’t about them.) It's about regular gamers who are disappointed in a product they purchased and are fairly communicating their disappointment with it.

I suspect for a number of reasons that the decision makers knew it was bad and gamers wouldn't like it, too.

What we do know? They paid tons of money to big game magazines for positive reviews (because that's how magazines like that work) while denying game keys to honest reviewers.

We know the game doesn't follow established Lore.

We know 80% of the writing is poor, at best.

By the time they laid off the writers, the game was being test played. So it's an unlikely reason for it to suck.

Most of us had to work through covid. I wouldn’t expect people to give me any leeway on a bad product because of it.

As far as insulting to the devs? Since when is it insulting to say, 'hey, this product you made isn't good'. That's the basic right of people who paid money (that a lot of gamers often don't have a lot of) for a product, and were disappointed in the product.

Devs see this kind of stuff? Yeah, you know, that's called professional development. It sucks. Every creative deals with it on some level. And it's not as if I tagged them, or posted that anywhere but properly tagged with the critical tags on my wall.

One of the first things they try to teach newer creative folks regardless of industry is to not go looking for reviews. If they do that and find my honest reactions to their game, that's on them. Not me for writing about my feelings on my blog.

I followed the devs closely for years. I never once got the impression they were struggling with EA all that much.

Romance in these games sells. And, again, EA wants to make money.

When exactly did Corinne say that? I've already seen her lie, in print, about this game. And easily provable lies, too. Was it after people complained about the objectively poor romances?

I didn't say anything about the marketing team in my original post. Though I have had a few things to say about their treatment elsewhere. (Spidey senses activating.)

The dev team cared, huh?

They cared enough to get the lore right? (They did not.)

They cared enough to decently edit the text? (Nope)

They cared enough to make a balanced game where a rogue player can enjoy it as much as a tank player? (Again, nope.)

Am I willing to believe whoever came up with Joplin wanted to make a good game that most gamers would enjoy? Absolutely.

But there's a thing called creative exhaustion. At some point, every creative can reach a point of 'fuck it, I don't give a shit about this product anymore, I never want to see it again.' Am I inclined to believe that's what we're dealing with regarding DAV? Yup.

Did they love it? Maybe. You can't really tell that from most of the game itself, and media critique, editing, and writing is my actual job. One I'm pretty decent at.

I can tell when someone loved the thing they made. I believe Sylvia truly loved Emmerich and his story. Because it shows. I believe the arts department loved their work, because it shows. It always does.

You seem to be writing under the delusion that I haven't thought about the devs' experiences and feelings. That I haven't followed them, talked to them, watched closely, hoping for a decent game that did the story justice. You seem to be writing from the concept that I don't work in a similarly brutal field. Those are incorrect assumptions.

I even told Epler he needed decent developmental, content, and diversity editors after playing DAI. (No. I absolutely do not want to work for bloody BioWare, it had nothing to do with that, and everything to do with the issues I saw in DAI that I hoped would be addressed for DAV.) I asked Trick if there was any hope of a happy ending for Solavellan. They led me to believe there was. "There is a suggestion of a happy ending." I'm happy for people who liked that ending. It does not fit the industry requirements for a happy ending.

This entire game feels like a shitshow of the highest calibre. And the devs are at least partially responsible for that.

Pardon me if I hold professional creatives pulling probably decent paychecks with benefits responsible for the product they want people to buy.

And I will absolutely hold them professionally responsible for their behavior in the face of legitimate, fair critique.

Please just do us all a favour and let the post you shouldn't have responded to drop. I'm more likely to fry your face off next time. Given how your reblog has made me feel, (which, to be clear, is very bad) I've been remarkably polite, thus far.

Dragon Age, as a series, deserved so much better than Veilguard.

Spoilers for Veilguard and maybe other DA stuff.

Obligatory 'I'm not an asshole' disclaimer. Feel free to jump to the cut if you've read it.

Something came to my attention. I need to make it crystal clear that I utterly love the diversity in DAV. It's fantastic. I'm also a heavily left leaning, non-binary, queer as fuck reviewer, editor, and author.

I was on media blackout while I played DAV. Please be safe and take care of yourselves. Arguing with incels and white supremacists is completely pointless. They sea lion worse than an actual sea lion. Your mental health is important.

Though, every single time the anti-queer brigade comes out for a new DA game, I sit there thinking 'have you bozos ever played any DA game, like, ever?' My guess is nope.

Note. None of my writing on DA, but especially DAV, is edited. This is just my off the cuff writing. I don't have the time, energy, or heart to edit them properly.

The Solavellan romance deserved a much better end than 'die and go to fade prison'. I agree that Inky would likely be happy to leave. She's as traumatized as Solas for having to lead when she didn't want to. But I needed more than a craptastic Romeo and Juliet ending.

I refuse to do the heavy lifting for the writers. If it wasn't shown in the game or in supplementary materials, it didn't happen. Showing us the story was the writers' and devs job, not mine.

I mourn what will never be, even as I work on a Solavellan fix it fic.

How could they betray the IP so badly?

How could they betray their fanbase so badly? The fanbase that kept hope for that game alive for 10 years. I've seen so many people saying they've lost their interest or passion for the entirety of Dragon age. That they're not even remotely interested in another game because absolutely none of the choices we made in previous games matters anymore. They've wiped everything clean... or blighted it anyway. (I have absolutely no interest in another DA game. Not with Epler/Busche/Weekes involved. And whoever designed that ridiculous fighting system.)

The only way I could possibly be interested in another game would be if they loudly decanonized DAV, gave us a DLC (they've already confirmed there will be no DLC) that showed us Solas and Inky happy and not in a horrible place. One that showed us that somehow, something changed for the elves.

But that's so unlikely it's laughable.

The elves deserved a better ending. Are the survivors still enslaved or living in alienages? What actually changed for the elves except the largest portion of the Dalish being dead from blight? (That’s a real elvish win, isn't it?)

I'm a stubborn person. I refuse to let Epler's 'hate-revenge on Solas fan fic' ruin something I've loved for years. I still have the first 3 games. I'll make an actual happy ending and a decent romance for Rook in my fic.

And by the fact they paid a fortune to big gaming magazines while denying game keys to bigger honest reviewers... they knew.

They knew gamers wouldn't like it and tried to blow so much smoke up our asses with the interviews and AMAs.

How do they even sleep at night?

I'm a creative too, I write, do graphic design, digital (learning) and traditional (good) art.

My stories are important to me. They deserve not only an ending, but an ending that respects the characters, lore, and world that I've created.

My readers deserve that, too.

I, as the creator of my stories, deserve a decent, respectful ending.

Dragon age deserved it, too. A good, well thought out, and well written ending to the story of the Dreadwolf storyline, which, if you're paying attention, is intertwined through all 3 games. It's not just in Inquisition. One that made sense to the collected Lore, his struggles and mistakes, his literary role as an anti-hero.

I would never be able to do what they've done to a beloved series. I could never knowingly mislead fans like they did.

It's just a really painful reminder that beloved stories can be utterly destroyed in the wrong hands. And a reminder that there's so much talent and skill in Fan fic.

Busche worked on the Sims. No wonder the companions often feel as interesting as wet cardboard. Most Sims NPCs do, too. (I actually enjoy the Sims, but the NPCs aren't why I like it.)

And she had the gall to blame 'culture wars' and 'identity politics' for why the game is tanking. Rather than take ownership of the incredibly bad calls made for DAV.

It's just gross. I wish I could stop thinking about it. But Dragon Age got me through some tough times. It means a lot to me.

And it just deserved better. So did we.

[snowdice]

Tea: Just Tea (Cuffed Universe)

Relationships: Janus/Patton (kinda ambiguous/future romantic), Patton & Roman (background) Janus & Roman (background)

Characters: Patton, Janus

Summary: Detective Janus Lial meets with Patton Heart for tea. Just like he does every week.

Notes: A missing child case is mentioned.

This is a Cuffed Universe fic.

Previous fics in this series:

Tea, Cookies, and Handcuffs

Matboards and Subway Sandwiches

Espionage and Iced Coffee

Popcorn and Podcasts

Rats, Pizza, and Supply Closets

Kisses and Thai Noodle Leftovers

Road Trips, Chicken Parmesan, and Handcuffs: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Extras:

Moving Day

Police Statements

Virgil’s Many Jobs: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

The door was stupid, Janus thought not for the first time. Without fail, the thought had crossed his mind every single week in the brief moments he stood in front of it. It did not matter that the door had gone through multiple paint changes since the first time he’d knocked on it. It was always stupid and ugly.

Currently, the door was painted a bright yellow with little white flowers hand painted all over it. He noticed that some of the lower flowers were much messier (though he could almost read the enthusiasm that contributed to their creation in their petals). Each flower had a stupid little smiley face drawn on it.

Janus knew the design would change within the month and it would be just as stupid. The only thing that ever stayed the same about the door was the mid rail. The strip in the middle of the door was always painted baby blue. When Janus had first come here there were two handprints on it, relatively fresh. Now there were three, two old and chipping and one only about a year old.

Janus leaned on his cane and waited in front of the door, though he didn’t have to wait long. He was expected after all. The door swung open only a few moments after he’d knocked, just long enough to get from the house’s kitchen to the front door.

“Hello Detective,” the man who answered the door said even though he often didn’t use Janus’s title anymore. Patton usually just used his first name. However, these first interactions every week were a well-worn pattern now. Janus may as well have been watching a recording of the first few times they’d interacted over and over every week. “Please come in.”

Janus obeyed the request, removing his hat as he stepped through the stupid decorated door.

“Would you like some tea?” Patton asked, heading back towards the kitchen without a glance back. He trusted Janus to know his way by now.

“Sure,” Janus agreed, though it honestly didn’t feel like a choice anymore. It was part of the script. It would be wrong to refuse.

Janus followed him into the kitchen and took a seat at the table without invitation. Patton puttered about his kitchen grabbing sugar and cream for the tea.

Patton’s kitchen table was quite large, but always felt cramped. Patton liked to do all of his daily tasks at the kitchen table from paperwork to crafts to reading. Yet, instead of putting the objects used for each activity away when he was done with them, he simply switched seats and started up his next task there. The result was that the 8-person table had barely enough room for a plate and cup in front of two of its chairs. (If Janus was lucky that week.)

The tablecloth was as chaotic as the mess atop it. Janus was almost glad he’d never seen the multicolored ugly thing in its entirety. He knew there were (at least) three sets of novelty salt and pepper shakers hidden among the balls of yarn and stacks of papers. There was a dinosaur set, a set that looked like science flasks, and a pair of flowering cacti. Considering two people lived in this house, it seemed a bit excessive.

The only decoration choice Janus felt he could approve of was the arrangement of daises and sweet peas in a vase. The flowers were always fresh from Patton’s shop, and even though he had no eye for color in any other aspect of design, he did know how to design a good bouquet.

Patton was back with the tea so quickly that Janus was sure it had already been steeping by the time he’d knocked. Janus could smell the familiar blueberry scent before the tea was even poured.

“Is there any news?” Patton asked as he poured the tea, though Janus knew he knew the answer already.

It was part of their script, but it was never any easier to answer. “No,” Janus said. “Not this week. I’m sorry.”

Patton did not respond. He never did. How was someone supposed to respond to that? Instead, he finished pouring both cups of tea in silence.

Janus cleared his throat as Patton settled down in his seat. He’d found Patton had a hundred solutions ready to dispel almost any awkward silence or social misstep. This awkward silence, this heavy silence, however, was always Janus’s responsibility to break. “How’s Roman?”

The topic brought a small smile to Patton’s lips. “He’s good,” he replied. “I’ll have to pick him up from school in an hour and a half.”

Janus knew. This meeting was the same time every week. He wondered if they’d change the time of it when Roman eventually left elementary school for middle school and his dismissal time changed. It would be strange. They’d been meeting at this time long before Roman.

“He wants to take ballet,” Patton continued.

“That’s new,” Janus said. Janus had picked the kid up from school last Friday and there hadn’t been any mention of that. (And with Roman there would have been a mention of it.) “Are you going to let him?”

Patton shrugged. “Probably, but I’ll only buy him a couple of lessons. Knowing him, he’ll lose interest within the week.”

“Roman can be a bit flighty,” Janus said, a fond smile on his face.

“Eh, I think most kids are like that,” Patton replied. There was a moment of silence as the man took a sip of his tea.

Janus… did not understand how he did this. He did not understand the decorated door or the elementary school worksheet left on the table. He couldn’t comprehend the new child sized shoes when there were old ones in the attic.

Janus had been the one to bring Roman to Patton, desperate and knowing only one person who was a parent. He’d hated himself for asking at the time. He could never have anticipated how Patton had opened up to the child.

How had the man cleaned out his old office to make room for a child’s bedroom when another childhood bedroom’s door remined shut tight next door? Janus didn’t think he’d ever know even though he’d witnessed it himself.

Janus did not know how Patton kept living. He did not know how he’d managed to be a dad again (and a very good one at that).

Janus had met him as the detective assigned to the missing persons case for the man’s first child. It had broken Patton in a thousand ways Janus couldn’t even begin to comprehend. Janus had watched it happen, had seen the moment he was informed his child was missing. He’d watched all the moments after that too.

Yet, somehow, despite being shattered, he was still here.

Janus had always admired that about him. It was what drew him back every week without fail to drink the same hot tea even as the case he was here for grew impossibly colder every time.

At one point there had been updates every time they’d met (never good ones). Then there had been an update every month. Then every few months. Now it felt like Janus had been telling him there were no updates for an eternity. The time he would continue to do so stretched into eternity before him.

Yet, Janus knew he would keep coming here even though he was technically off the case now. Everyone was technically off the case now.

“Well,” Janus said. “If Roman decides to stick with ballet, let me know. I’ll buy him the right shoes.”

Patton smiled at him warmly. “Thanks.”

If there was even a chance that Janus might one day have an update for Patton on the whereabouts of Logan Heart, it would all be worth it.

[quadrantadvisor]

tl;dr: I think being trapped in a time loop would fix him

[Plain text under the cut]

I read like two different jason time loop fics which both featured jason coming to the cave for help or resources when people didn't expect him there which makes me think that the loop helped make jason aware that he could come to his family for help and anyways jason gets stuck in a time loop shortly after becoming the Red Hood bruce is aware or at least suspects his identity but he hasnt communicated that to anyone else yet so for a couple of loops jason tries to figure out what's going on but all of his league contacts are either unhelpful or unreachable within the time frame and he gets frustrated and he spends a while just. living out all of his sadistic fantasies he gets to do every dramatic reveal, he gets to kill each one of them, and they're spitting and defiant and telling him he isn't the jason who died but after a while it stops being satisfying and he gets desperate for a way out he knows by this point that bruce hasn't told anyone about him, so his new plan is to talk to one of them away from bruce and just lie Dick is the obvious choice, and that's how jason finds out that dick has been hallucinating him while he's been gone he is not very useful. it's really hard to convince him that jason is legit and then he just gets really emotional and doesn't pay attention to the time loop at all also jason feels really weird about it

so he tries tim. he's like. okay. he doesn't know you're the red hood. you just have to be civil to him for one loop and when it turns out he can't do anything you try something else but tim is also like. really emotional about him apparently? but when jason tells him there's a time loop he takes it really seriously tim is like "why didn't you go to bruce?" and jason is like "i tried that. when he finds out he makes it worse" which is a very plausible thing for someone in a time loop to say so tim believes him Tim's like "obviously i have to verify" and jason is thinking to himself what a waste of time this all is. but tim gets his permission to bring babs in on things and that's how jason finds out about oracle and the clocktower so thats useful at least they use babs equipment for blood tests and tim grills jason on things only he would know and jason is like. hey. why do you know any of that stuff and by the time that tim is satisfied that Jason is who he says he is and that what he says is happening is happening the day is basically over and jason is like well thanks for nothing

and Tim's like, oh, sorry, this is just the setup. next time just tell me this timeloop code, I'll know that I trusted you enough to give it to you so I'll listen to whatever you say which actually does work to Jason's surprise, tim just asks him how many times and what they've already tried and they get down to business tim always has a freakout over jason being alive but that freakout can come at different times of the day depending on how jason plays it jason is still mad at tim and frequently snappy with him but it takes a few loops for him to just yell at tim that he's the red hood and he's been killing people and he was planning on killing tim (not strictly true originally but like. he has done it, so) and tim is like. hm. that makes it pretty personally dangerous for you to know my time loop code, since it makes me just drop everything and listen to whoever says it. but also i think you do need help so i guess I'm still glad you have it. and jason is like WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

anyways on a later loop tim convinces him to sneak into the bag cave for the tech and bruce catches them there and jason is like well that's this loop shot but bruce is just like ……. jason? 🥺 you came home? anyways the fic is about jason realizing that he never needed to do all that shit, and actually he finds it rather distasteful, and he can just. go home. if he wants on the last loop he has to like leave gotham to go stop whatever is causing this and it takes all day so he doesn't even talk to them so he has to make the real choice to start up relationships with all of them for keeps and by that point he's experienced so much time loop violence that the first thing he says to bruce is, I'm not gonna kill anyone, at least for now. we can talk about the morality of it and stuff and i will legitimately discuss it with you but right now i just don't want to so that can be our truce and bruce is like, sobbing at having his kid back he uses the code on tim one last time and tim jerks to attention but Jason's like nah relax the loop is over, just wanted to say thanks for all the help

[aprilblossomgirl]

# mood 1 + mood 2 (basically)

[crownedwille]

Are there still Crown Prince!Wilhelm stans out there despite S3 turning it into the number one problem? Please report, we need to unite and no, that doesn't mean that I don't support Wille's mental health and happiness and that I love the monarchy, some people out there must get it

[utilitycaster]

I don't begrudge anyone their campaign preferences, and I think there's plenty of valid reasons to like Campaign 3 the best and this is not directed at people who are genuinely having a great time with it, but it feels like virtually all the nostalgia and wishful thinking I see surrounding Campaign 3 is screaming "you guys want Campaign 2." You want more slow travel and downtime and interparty conversations and slow-burn romance? You wish their main focus was fighting governmental corruption? You want a party that only semi-settles down at the end and keeps adventuring and remains very close? You're frustrated by how everpresent and overarching the moon plot is? You miss when they were just fucking around in a city? I genuinely believe you want Campaign 2, or at best you love a specific ship or a character from Campaign 3 but aren't happy about basically anything else, and would vastly prefer the tone and events and plot of Campaign 2. And I don't really care if you watch Campaign 2, or if you think I'm being annoying here; I simply genuinely believe you'd be happier watching Campaign 2 than Campaign 3 and are so deep in a sunk cost fallacy well you can't see it.

[thatswhatsushesaid]

i do understand and acknowledge that most people who pick up mdzs and get really into it walk away from the experience with wangx!an brainrot that brings them joy and suffering (affectionate) in equal measure, and--unless they're assholish at me or my pals--i wish all of those people well and hope that the veritable cornucopia of wangx!an content on this webbed site and AO3 is everything they've ever wanted out of their fandom experience. wwx is the protagonist, lwj is his court-appointed soulmate, their happily ever after is what most people pick up the books wanting to experience, and that's, you know, fine. live your bliss etc.

i just hope that one day it won't be such a hot and controversial take for fans who didn't develop wangx!an brainrot, and who found something and/or someone else more compelling and engaging about the text, to be able to say as much, and talk about it as much as we want to, without generating a bunch of passive-aggressive--or aggressive-aggressive--commentary from hardcore wangx!an stans who seem to take our disinterest in the central romance personally for whatever reason. like genuinely i would probably not dislike wangx!an as much as i have come to dislike them if i hadn't been inundated with very rude reblog commentary or anon asks early on in my fandom experience just for saying /checks my notes, "maybe jin guangyao isn't evil, actually. maybe wei wuxian did some things wrong."

dgmw, i'm glad that lots of people here are able to like jgy, for example, and still enjoy wwx and wangx!an specifically. but for those of us who don't, or who are struggling to rediscover some affection for the main pair, this attitude.... did not develop in a vacuum lol. i would just like for people to bear that in mind, i guess.