#real talk im very happy with this one
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Fuck you (transes ur mulder)
#i wasnt kidding when i said i was hitting him with my transgender beam#guys#ok guys please be nice to me i was nervous to post this lol#real talk im very happy with this one#fox mulder#txf#fanart#my art#artists on tumblr#the x files#'who did the top surgery' aliens.#it was aliens.
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playing around w slightly different hair renders
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#yuuji#megumi#cries megumi fought tooth n nail..... i refused 2 flip the canvas tho >:(#i vastly prefer drawing him facing right bc fr some reason it makes his hair look better silhouette-wise#so having him face left is alr a Challenge#but also having him slightly look down (difficult angle + changes the silhouette) had me bashing my head in2 th TABLE#same thing happened earlier this month w gardening megu middle pose . i did not learn my lesson#but even worse w this one yuuji's head is blocking th main pointy part tht basically carries the entirety of the shape language#u can imagine my distress i am sure#anyway th render made me a lot happier with it thank god. colours hard carry bless <3333#i didn't plan on making it a full sheet but i needed 2 remind myself that im good at drawing megumi#so i threw in solos of each of them n tried slightly different render flavours#idk how Different all of them look visually but th process fr each ws Very different so i am satisfied#fight aside this ws useful i think! got 2 break out some Clunkier chalks n dust off a few of my smoother blended brushes#think i picked up some things i can keep also !! which ws. u kno. the Goal#tbh every time i do art studies i feel like i am kirby#one time i got called an art ditto by one of my fav artist mutuals when i did a style challenge#SUCH high praise from her it lives in my mind i take it out on days when i feel like trash#it doesnt Sound good when u say u r good at copying but real talk it is such a good skill i am very happy 2 have it in my arsenal
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OOH YEAH BABY ITS THE SURGERY EPISODE BABY!!! ME AND THE HOMIES NEED SOME NEW FACES FOR OUR NEW PLAN, AND WHO BETTER TO GET THE JOB DONE THAN THE TWO MOST EVIL PEOPLE WE'VE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF HAVING OUR LIVES VIOLATED BY? I MEAN IT WOULD BE FUNNY. IT WOULD BE FUNNY.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#cw blood#cw gore#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#vex waylin#viv waylin#MY FAVORIT EP!! HAVNT SEEN IT IN FOREVER THO BC WELL. IM BUSY. SO BEAR W ME IM RUNNIN OFF ALOTTA MEMORY FUMES#ALSO EDIT BC FUUUCK I HADMORE TAGS BUT TUMBLR FUCKEN ATE EM. OH WELL. MY DMS R OPEN IF U WANNA UNLOCK RAMBLES.#I LOVE THE WAYLIN TWINS SSSOO FUCKING MUCH IM SO!!! CURIOUS ABOUT THEM!!! WHO WERE THEY WHEN THEY WERE HUMAN? HOW LONGVE THEY BEEN ARND?#I LOVE IT WHEN PPL SAY ITS LIKE THESE TWO WERE MADE FOR MMEE BC YES!! YES!! ITS EVERYTHING I COULD EVER WANT FROMA CHARACTER!!!#I LOVE THEIR RED WHITE N BLACK COLOR SCHEME. I LOVE HOW THEYRE BOTH SO INTELLIGENT AND GENIUS N YET THEYRE DUMB AS FUUUUCK#COOOMICAL SUPER VILLAINS. OOH ILL GET YOU NEXT TIME SHAMIA SHAMAI!!! HOW DARE YOU FOIL MY PLAN!! MY PLANS OF MUTILATING AWAKE N ALIVE PPL#COMICAL AND YET. GENUINELY HORRIFYING. VIV CAN MAKE UR BONES EXPLODE JUST BY THINKING ABOUT IT. VEX CAN BECOME SOUP#WHY DONT WE TALK ABOUT THAT MORE? THE TURNING INTO RED MEAT SLIME?? METAL AS FUUUCK. I ALSO LOVE HOW SCARED THEY GOT SO QUICKLY#THIS LIL FUCKEN RRRRRAT COMES IN. AND WELL. HES JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHERS. WE FUCK HIM UP N TOSS HIM INTO THE SUN N LET HIM BURN#SURE HE HAD ONE MORE TRICK OF REBELLION UP HIS SLEEVE BUT THE SUN HAS TAKEN HIM NOW. ITS FINE. WE'RE FINE. HEY IS THERE SMTH IN THE CEILING#OHHH WE KILLED HIM ONCE N HE CAME BACK. WE KILLED HIM AGAIN N TOOK HIM APART BUT THEN HES BACK?? HE GETS AWAY AND THEN. COMES BACK. AGAIN.#WE CANT GET RID OF HIM. THAT FOUL SHAMIA SHAMAI. A MOUSE IN OUR KITCHEN. FUUUUCK HES GONNA SPREAD DISEASE! KILL IT! KILL IT!! AAAUUGH FUCK!#I LOVE THAT THE WAYLIN TWINS AGREED TO HELP THE BLONDE TWINS MOSTLY ON THE BASIS OF 'IT WOULD BE FUNNY' BUT ALSO#OOHHH WE ARE SO CLOSE TO REACHING SOMETHING TO MAKE HIM NNEEVER FUCK WITH US AGAIN. HIS ILLUSIONS WILL HAUNT US NO LONGER#THEY WERE SSSOOO PARANOID W ALL THE CAMERAS AND BOMBING THEIR OWN LAB AND RUNNING AND RUNNING AND GETTING AWWAY FROM THIS FUCKEN! MOUSE!!!!#OHHHH I THINK IM RUNNIN OUTA ROOM so ill talk about da art real quick.BEEN WORKIN ON THIS FOR A WHIIILE.ALOTTA THESE were started when the#ep came out.so OLD!! BUT DONE!!and im very very happy w my colors n gore n EXPRESSIONS!! the top right corner comic keeps making me chuckle#I ALSO rly love the lil convo between arthur n viv.theyre SO CUTE TOGETHERR they should go ona museum date together or somethin#they need more time to just talk abt da World together.ALSO CAN I BE PETTY.I MADE ARTHUR UGLY CORRECT-STYLE#THESE BOYS KNOW NOTHING OF UGLY.I MADE THE VAMPIRIC FLESH EVOLVE N ROT N BLOSSOM AND THERE IS SQUIRMING WITHIN THE TENEBRAE#UHHH IEAH THIS GUY W A ROTTED N DISTORTED FACE WALKS INTO MY BIKE STORE IEAH IM SCREAAAMIN LIKE WADDA HELL!! MONSTOR!!!
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moth-flowers #17
#moth-flowers#my art#comics#autobio comics#Its a little crummy but im glad i made something. and actually posted it!#depression#Our neighbors r pretty cool. talking with the husband makes me happy cos he's just a chill dude and i think he's kinda like me?#Like he was cleaning out his car one time and he said it just takes him longer than most people bc he's kinda slow. and i had a moment of#like. recognition. I get things done but i just take a lot longer than other people and i dont really know why its just how i am#And he's like. a real adult. with a partner and kids and a house and a job. and if he can make it then maybe ill be okay too.#Also I like listening to him talk he has a very interesting cadence and overall soothing voice quality#Also the sleep schedule thing. Right now I've been feeling my best when i take a 2ish hour nap when i get home. I usually dont go to sleep#Until 12pm regardless and good god has the nap been helping me. I feel less like shit and more alert its so great#My dad keeps giving me shit about it. but fuck it we ball
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i wanted this comic digitalized so bad that i used max's birthday as an excuse. :)
this is the true ending. if im insane enough ill show you the alternate ending though
bonus because i just. it just kinda peters out. longggg post yayyye
#adventure time#wizard city#together again#i realize if im all 'oh every wizard kids has to have their episode tagged' then i should be that stickler about mister death.#mr death#mr fox#blaine#digital#distant lands#long post#im gonna also throw in#suicide mention#because its not very obvious or serious but mr fox's brain did go there. sorry. and i guess thats technically the whole. hm. yeah okay. h.#larry#blaines mom#ALSO THERE. i cant. make her look right. to me. but shes. so much to me. i KNOW they have one. its so specific in my head that they do#they cannot be being raised solely by a posse of wizard guards. that cant be real.#'dont let them take you without saying goodbye to me blaine' - mom whose kid's best friend just got zilched with no warning. :| real great.#'you took my friend away' '(loading....) ohh. the old guy took him but i can figure it out. yeah. i know a lot of people one sec.'#i feel like there is more i should say. hm. but ok guess not! happy bday max. im scheduling this to post exactly on ur bday#this comic was mostly for me. but mr death is there and hes sweet. so i will post it on your bday.#au#idk if it needs an au tag but itās getting one. i talk a lot in digital art pieces
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mindless rambling in tags don't mind me
#not art post#rambling in tags because i can and its MY BLOG#anyway its about tdp *waits* ok for the three of you that actually care#someone retweeted one of my threads from 2019 after s2 dropped (imo the BEST tdp season) and i reread it#and tbh i am still right about viren's characterization#obviously canon changed some things but TO BE REAL..... i dont care what the writers say bc i had beef since s3#how am i supposed to believe any viren and callum parallels and callbacks when they..... havent talked since when?#and uhhh viren's demise lol i expected it but wow i am not happy with the lead up to it#more cool and eloquent people put it in better words on twitter and probably tumblr too idk i just say things and hope they make sense#anyway viren is still the very real traumatized angry severely depressed old man from s2... his life was just revealed to be so much worse#like damn. he was poor he was orphan he got divorced and then a stupid mirror started ruining his life even more#yes the mirror was the start of it why do you think aaravos revealed himself after viren's firey break down#aaravos went i can make him worse and ran with it#should viren go to prison? yeah i never once denied that lmao but god he and his family were really the ones to suffer in the show#at least viren is gone so i can just *plucks him out of the dirt and morphs him into my own oc* (im for real)#i got maybe more to say but this is long and im lazy and im not too smart so i will just move on#i will watch s7................................... i GUESS and if you find salt i will probably be there lol
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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sorry if you've already mentioned but what (re?)ignited your love of comics/x-men/cherik? curious because there are so many different adaptations of them
i think im gonna speak for a few (or a lot of) people when i say that TL;DR the wolverine x deadpool movie that came out this summer is what pulled me back into comics and i COULD leave it there but i will go into excruciating and unnecessary detail instead because i love an origin story and i love oversharing.
under the cut tho because im nice sometimes (there's also wxdp doodles in here. if you want to see that)
ironically (and probably commonly), growing up i was more of an avengers kid. Kinda. Loosely <- binge watched the cartoons and movies and read copious amounts of comics and fics and i am hoarding fanart in my old dresser as we speak ok 'loosely' is a modest lie.
embarrassingly i remember getting into discus cause of captain america LMAO so yeah needless to say i was a Humble Fan- me joining my school's comic class/club didnt help either (shoutout to my teach from that she was the realest one out there for. A Multitude of reasons). she definitely is was inspires me to even draw still and make comics and i often think bout the tips i learned from her class tbh she was great
back to the movies t and comics tho, i got into em because my brother would offer to take me and that's how we'd hang out (i rarely saw movies in theaters and i even more rarely went anywhere as a teenager. still kinda like that today tbh ooops) and yk. it just snowballed after that.
my brother and i have always liked comics- he just more than me for a while (though he still very much loves comics and As We Know From My Posts we still talk about them whenever i see him To An Exhausting Degree)
durin then i was really into stony and i have a few surviving doodles i made but those are between me and god. and anyone who asks tbh LOL
'snap can you make this related to x-men again this is long' ok so fast forward to This Summer again I Still Don't Really See Movies but my brother offered to take me and this was the first time i'd actually seen an x-men movie in full
as a kid i only remember seeing the 'perfection' scene between erik and raven in first class while i was channel surfing. pretty sure i changed the channel after seeing mystique naked cause i was scared my parents would get mad at me if they caught me watching it LOL
BUT MOVING ON As A Kid i think it's also natural you'll sometimes watch 92 if it's on And I Did though evidently it didn't stick too hard (i do remember really liking beast and gambit though.... still do really): my knowledge of x-men was. INCREDIBLY sparse. like diabolically so so i didnt have too much expectations (aside from the fact i vaguely liked deadpool beforehand).
tbh i dont know why my bro never took me to see any of the x-men movies. it's not like he doesn't Also like x-men (90% sure nightcrawler's his favorite but my brother will be caught dead saying he has absolute favorites like that)- he owns a bitch load of deadpool comics/omnibus sets too (of which ive read over the years and reread this year) but Shrug moving on
Much Like Most Of The Internet i fell down the rabbit hole that way. i have some doodles i made a couple days after seeing WxDP that i now have an excuse to throw at all of you Look And Perceive
and so. As I Do. i got curious and told myself i'd binge watch all the x-men movies the week before i went back to school And Then I Did ft. My Brother Sometimes and then i said i'd binge watch all of '92 and And I Did That ft. My Brother Sometimes But Less So and now we're here. currently watching Evolution...
once i got to school i realized i lived near a comic shop and started getting into the comics that way (the first ones i got since going down this rabbit hole was Magneto Was Right!, The Resurrection of Magneto, and The Trial of Magneto. if you were curious !!!!! clearly i didnt care too much about context i just needed to see My Guy jelvejlkvj i have no regrets and Evidently ive read more since)
i'm pretty sure what dragged me into cherik specifically was the fact i saw a clip of The Famous ending to 92 where erik's aghast at the notion jean even has to question his love for charles. i think that was what officially had me refocus my lens on them: not a single poolverine thought after that LOL (all the cherik posting i saw on twitter definitely helped too but that was the nail in the coffin for any other interests i had: i was locked into cherik and x-men in general now)
that clip specifically, i was surprised at the fact they- frequently even- have the x-men franchise say erik loves charles and vice versa so bluntly. even if it's not meant to be romantic, i fear im just a fan of how casually the word's thrown around with them two and i got tender bout it all. Then Yk. i just live for the drama. the hilarity even. the sincerity .... they make me sick if i think of them too long so im gonna end it here
before i go tho ironically enough, the first x-men issue i owned was This one (story a this is that while stuck in some wacko dimension charles accidentally gets himself trapped in logan's mind while utilizing his astral projection. if you were curious). pretty sure i got it for free with another comic set i got years ago since our old comic shop loved to do that, but it's poetic aint it. maybe ill doodle something referencing it..
i should probably look into finishing this arc someday im Dummy curious to even know how it started and how it ends.....
#snap chats#usually this onea them posts i ramble bout in the tags but i have photos and this is Long long so .. i use the main body for once ...#sorry i gave a biography but i never talk to people and i also love typing. im one of those party can-of-worms i fear#i feel like i could talk about this forever because x-men itself has never been super prominent in my childhood#it was just kinda there in the background BUT comics themselves have always been with me. theyre a keystone to me i think#but yeah. x-men definitely sticks a lot harder than avengers does now OOPS this is not me taking shots i am just SAYING#i have a lot of old marvel doodles tbh .. i found an old deadpool one i remember drawing with my bro during a car ride#kinda funny how much my bro and i bond i dont think of it much but I Guess thats another reason why comics are special to me#we dont bond much- i dont bond with my fam in general tbh we're kinda. Isolated in a way LOL so its cool we're tight at least#if you wanna go deeper bout Comics And My Family my dad really liked comics growing up- more dc tho maybe#apparently he used to draw hulk a lot but if he did those drawings are loooong gone.. at least i know who to blame for me drawing#he loves superman tho. i remember id get embarrassed watching superhero cartoons and superman was on screen when he was around#for some reason i thought id get in trouble if he caught me watching superman but when he did once he was real happy so. tf wrong with me#he loves to say hes superman a lot and id be like Dad... Stop... LMAO but in the cheesiest way possible he do be my hero so. accurate ig#but yeah thats my origin story for why i like comics again thank you for reading if you actually read all that#and sorry it got all sappy Unfortunately i be like that sometimes. i am very emotionally constipated and i over explain a lot#ok i fr gonna end it here im gonna keep going by accident if i thinka any longer and i have stuff i still have to do
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god i finally watched new episodes my honest reaction is jgiwoaoKzmxmkwkakkak
#it kinda doesnt feel real for me idk why#like i do not actually process all of it??#tho I DO have ideas and thinking i did pay attention#maybe i've just had a wild day i guess#but also oh god vex'ahlia broke my heart#twice#first time were when scanlan was talking how he couldn't be at two places at the same time to help 'em and she said nobody gives a fuck#i feel so bad for scanlan rn i love him#haven't watched campaing to the bard's lament yet but oh fuck im too spoiled i do know what happens where (a little bit)#the second time was when she said she really cares for percy i started crying at that moment#also im a lil bit disappointed cuz i thought we would get percys death and vex's spech but we got āi open the door completly nakedā scene ->#and im very happy we got it like oh wow i didn't expect that#but idk im just a girl and i love percahlia's slowburn#since i watched 64 eps of actual campaign it become hard for me to not compare campaign and tlovm cuz obviosly its very different#but with percahlia in tlovm we don't have hours and hours of campaign context#(we don't have percy making her arrows)#and i understand why cuz 100+ streams 3+ hours each is one thing and animated series with 12 eps of 25 minutes is another#but as i said previosly it is very hard for me to not compare it#by the way i do think changes in tlovm make sense#cuz like?? i think vex is more sharpy in tlovm than in campaign?? like#like she punced scanlan in first season and in campaign they are kinda good friends and i really love them??#*punched#and i think she's more ?? bossy i guess?? idk how to put it into words but in my head it makes sense āi open the door completly nakedā ->#goes earlier than āi shouldve told you its yoursā cuz shes playing pretend even more than in campaign???#acts like its casual when its actually isnt AT ALL#and im glad percy said āwhat is it i wantā to vex cuz its kinda like that scene in campaign when percy talked to vax#when he called them all family for the first time and said he's trying to find what he wants in life#i love percy and vax dynamic btw#i wanted to write even more here but apparently i can do only 30 tags wtf#they want me to actually write posts oh no. hate to put it all in tags but im too nervous abt posting on the internet
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š·šøļø
#i've been thinking about this quite a lot on and off for a while#but to try to process it more i just wanna try to vent:#my sexuality is very messy. even inside my head. so scary. so complicated...?? so just thoughts of it are scary#and like there has only ever been one person who like just thinking about sex with has felt like good#not scary or terrifying. not with all of my avpd symptoms woven in (like one is that idk if i could ever have sex w someone#like actually be with them and be able to look them in the eyes and then also keep talking to them afterwards and not just run away and#never see them again. that's just one thing and this isnt abt that so anyway#like yeah just thinking about sex w him feel ok. safe and comfortable. and enjoyable and like i can and want it#which is smth like... with my other crushes before i've fantasized abt having sex w them but it felt bad and scary ://#and like i didnt actually want sex w them...#and with this person that isnt there. it's scary in a way since like im not experienced at all and idk how it feels irl š#but not in the way i usually feel abt it!!!!#so this just in my head#plus the fact that like talking and expressing some of my thoughts TO him ... felt good and safe and comfortable#is actually such a gift from him.... and i'll always treasure this (one of many things haha ^^)#bc he made me experience this and that i can feel good and ok and safe about it#i do feel sad that when this was current i was so cautious and shy bc it was so new to me#i was feeling smth real and genuine emotionally w him and i wasnt just saying stuff ... if that makes sense lmao#hmmm... yeah i've never felt good abt it before that w him. so it was so so new. and i couldnt quite get used to it fast#now im getting messy in my thoughts again sksksk#i just feel like this meant so much to me to just have had it#and idk im just so happy to know that these feelings are possible for me .. and i feel thankful for him that he gave me this not so little#thing/feeling/experience#now... the thing is... he is the only one i've felt all of the things with. like attraction/safe/comfortable/taken seriously etc etc.... so#umm what do i do now? š#ig either way im glad i know that this exists for me and that im not incapable of it. even if my avpd makes me feel that way#ok.. skurr skurr?#but yeah sexuality is so fkn scary for me idk it just gets too much i wanna cry T-T
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known we were a system for about 7 years now, probably been a system for far longer, and just realised. we got an intrusive self-fakeclaiming thought today and laughed it away
#it does get better it does get easier eventually you will not fear being wrong or out of place#the thought felt like it just rolled away like a little creek washing over stones#it used to be a tsunami size wave that would throw us around and leave us feeling like we're not fitting in or even in the right place#and now we're just. solid and sturdy and the water's calmed to a tiny trickle#this is the first self-fakeclaiming thought we've had in i think months#and honestly probably only brought on by very new system members not being used to being alone in front#(it's rare for us. we're almost always cofronting. but sometimes it happens and it's so jarring)#rejecting the idea that we could possibly be faking this gives us this massive sense of wholeness like. this is who we are. and it's right#it feels right it feels like. we're real again. we're healing and able to learn. we're doing better. we feel whole like this#sharing this body with a million others will only ever bring us joy this is home this is love this is healing this is right#i love being plural#i love having a system#i love my headmates#we're so so close to hitting our real milestone of being functionally multiple#our challenge kinda. the goal we have to say Yes we feel we have functional multiplicity now#is to just. be able to connect all the sidesystems and have dormant people come back now and then and recover lost headmates#(TOBY WE *WILL* FIND YOU EVENTUALLY)#and it's starting! we've discovered people from BEFORE the syscovery we've brought back Blank and Ro multiple times#we talked to Bee once!!!! Bee literally hasn't fronted since fucking 2020!!! AND BEATRICE CAME BACK AND SHE'S TALL NOW??#and Siren came back!!!!!!! he was so so so fucking scared of falling out of the front rotation bc he thought he'd be lost forever but!!!!!#system wise i cannot believe how far we've come EVERYONE can feel the difference Ro and Blank get shocked by how much more cohesive we are#they were used to a constantly terrified proxy host and gatekeepers that loved to section stuff off and no communication#now it's like walking into a real place for them. they aren't used to headspace being this solid#when we started out WE DIDN'T HAVE ONE we had to manually build it and it took so long and so much focus#now it's as easy as closing our eyes#god i fucking love this im so happy right now
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Orb...
+ process kinda
#istg lineart is just a horrible terrible thing LOL#i sketch and it goes very well and i am very happy and i feel very creative!!!#i have to do lineart and it makes me want to give up the piece .....#i get to paint and im like omg i could do this for hours !!! this is so fun !!!!!!#thus: orb#im very happy w it so thats why im posting#idk how long the actual piece is gonna take so might as well post a little sneak peak ig#lmfao i gave up on the crown bcs it was too complicated and then drew this. maybe the crown will come back. prob not#im surprised w the process of this. i usually struggle a lot w accurately referencing real life things#and i usually end up tracing them just to understand how the form works#and god ive drawn so many complicated things for this piece and havent had to trace at all???? okay?????#i mean ofc its not entirely accurate bcs the craftsmanship on the original orb is actually insane#but i think ive got it down p well :)#ill have to try to make the gold look a bit better at some point later on but for now its !!!#i like how half my art i post here is either chibis#or just the most brainrot intense historically detailed shit ever#yes no one i talk to probably knows what a globus cruciger is but GOD DAMN IT IM GONNA DRAW IT ACCURATELY#had this thought ^ when i looked at my top posts and my last post was those nando chibis#and then after a week of not drawing after that im like yeah let me draw several imperial relics#catie.art.
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my autistic ass when i would try to explain to my non-autistic writer friends how my ocs donāt just feel like characters/plot devices/narrative tools, they feel like fully fledged people that just live inside my brain who i just have access to for some reason and the stories i write are merely a snapshot into their fully fledged personhood/lives. and that that these feelings donāt mean iām unaware of my role/agency/responsibility as the writer who has the final say in these characters and how they are written it just means that my writing process feels very intuitive and i can only describe it asĀ ālisteningā andĀ āgetting to knowā these people that just live inside my brain in a way that i donāt feel like i can completely elaborate on. and because of this i would actually consider these characters ārealā in their own way because the impact and influence they have had on me as a person beyond just my writing is so real and not having them would feel like iām missing a part of myselfĀ
#DISCLAIMER! when i say autistic i do not mean this is an exclusively autistic experience or that every autistic person will experience this#i mean that its my autism that makes me not just have my characters be my special interest but also feel so intensely about them#and why i have sometimes felt weird talking about my characters with people because i am just experiencing ocs in a different way#to them#also i think one time when i tried to explain this to someone they thought i literally meant that i felt my characters were real#and when i look back on moments like that i am like beloved you need to get yourself some autistic friends#also its 10pm and ive been up since 6am and this was a very emotionally heavy day so im about to post this and log out and we'll see how#tomorrow me feels about that#but anyways the point of this post is i did not realise this was not universal and felt kinda weird about it for a while until i realised#that it is just the autism and i was like wow this is actually very cool of me i think actually#yesterday my bf sent me song links and was like i feel like felix would listen to these#and ive been thinking about this ever since hence the post because that made me so happy bc i was like i feel like you're seeing him as a#real part of me the way i see him as a real part of me
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today i had this Vivid memory flash through my mind of kissing my ex boyfriend (this was like 2018) and i felt so viscerally fucking revolted and I gotta say. it is truly impressive that I didnāt realise Iām a lesbian sooner than fucking half a year ago
#z talks#like the misidentifying as ace was Inevitable i think. that was due to repression that realising i didnt like men would not have fixed#(context: idād as bi ace like. i wanna say 2016/17-2021/22 sometime and then went into ace and Questioning)#remember the time i really solidly settled on being aro because āromance has never not felt like a chore and putting on a facadeā#babe no thats because your most recent and also singular long term relationship was with a Man#and thats the only one youre looking back on#its so funny how i dated a guy and it was so thoroughly Meh that i just didnt feel like pursuing anything romantic for a very long time#(A REACTION I HAD NOT HAD AFTER MY PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS WITH GIRLS)#And DIDNāT somehow consider that maybe I just Didnāt Like Guys#its nothing i grieve or feel sad about dw its honestly mostly funny to look back on#no wrongs were committed and i dont hold a grudge against the guy it was just me being confused and compheted#(ā¦which is also a weird word to apply because at the time i identified and was out to my friends as a trans guy Binary.#This Was Also Wrong.)#was a weird time man. a truly weird time#anyway. all is well i have now been on 2 dates with a really cute girl and she gave me tulips <3#as part of a Care Delivery bc i had a Migraine and No Painkillers Or Snacks#get well flowers <333333#and now i dream of kissing her under the moonlight#With the uh. Hornetposting lately it May seem unlikely but yes I DO interact with real women! Romantically!#They coexist Wonderfully <3#Anyway. Iām gonna go to bed#Realising that im a lesbian solved all my identity problems including my fucking gender which is just fantastic#I am very happy and whenever I think of being a lesbian it grounds me to reality a little bit stronger and i go yeah. Yeah.
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MOB PSYCHO 100 WARRIOR CATS AU WHOOOOOO
I've been chugging along at these designs for ages and I am so proud of them and stoked to finally share them AA if you have any questions FEEL FREE to ask me I have been plotting and drawing this au so much (have many things still in the works to post!!)
AU Summary: A Long time ago a strange interloper claiming to be a Starclan warrior took over the clan (Dimple/Mosswish). He gave them a prophecy from the ancient times of a cat that would one day be destined to take his place as the True leader of the clan.
Years later, a stray (Reigen/Weaselflight) found two kittens (Mob & Ritsu/Sproutmask & Thistlestrike) abandoned in the trash and took them in. If anyone asked he would claim it was just so that he wouldn't have anyone's death on his conscience but nobody ever asked. He staked out a human neighborhood and left them on the doorstep and once he saw them get taken in went off on his way.
Almost a year after that Sprout and Thistle have no memories of the cat who saved them and they have both grown. Sprout is constantly wondering what lies beyond his yard.
He befriends a stay who just came back to town named Weasel that seems oddly familiar, who's been mentoring Sprout on the ways of the Clan. He uses Weasel's "true" stories as a springboard for all the things he wants to do someday and tells his brother all about (Thistle hides his concern about that) But there are clan cats who have been watching them convinced Sprout is the one chosen by Starclan to help them.
Eventually they come to him, offering him anything he wants if he will join them, permanently.
I have a lot more I'm keeping secret for now you'll have to find out >:3c
design and name notes under the cut!
First off: I started on these BEFORE the fursona plush actually ever got announced but about mid-way through plotting all this They Happened and I knew I could not use any aspect of them for these designs so if u want to know why they don't look like those. that's why. I ardently refused to use those designs. I love them!!! I have fanart in the works of them, but they're not part of this.
Mob - he was the first character I drew and the base off of which I drew everyone else because he's the default. He's the glass of water, the firestar, the plain chip, the True Neutral of design.
He was also the last one i colored and actually finished a design for LMAO. When it came to his name I knew I wanted -mask as his suffix because of the fact he is the most autistic character I have ever seen in my life (I am a professional autist, I know my own) and he is absolutely masking 95% of the time before the confession arc. I was stuck on what his suffix could be though, but my friend @cellulr suggested broccoli as a name and I remembered that OH YEAH he can make plants grow, which is how I got to Sprout, also it just sounds cute. He's a growing little sprout, it works.
Reigen - My design is very specifically based on the Least Weasel. I do not subscribe to fox headcanons under any circumstances. I don't care what reason people have for them he's not a fox. He's literally the quote "weaseling out of things is important to learn! It's what separates us from the animals...except the weasel." incarnate.
His name was the easiest one for me. He's a weasel, he loves to get out of Situations, Weaselflight. It's a winner.
Serizawa - He's a calico :3c I made him a calico because it matched the color palette of his pajamas and I just love his pajamas look because the blue suit is............kind of boring sorry <3.
I was really stuck on what to name him but i found out on the wiki that the zawa kanji of his name means Marsh and I really fell in love with that. -whisper was based on him being kinda shy when he first joins the clans but just like in actual canon he gets braver but is still a big gentle giant type guy
Dimple - I don't believe in realistic cat genetics for warrior cats content, these are a bunch of strays in the woods who have organized religion and superpowers. The cats can be green if I make them green. So Dimple's design was translated pretty literally but I made him very short and rounder than everyone else. And I gave him the same nicked ear that the claw security guard people draw him with/as all the time has. Also he's short and people keep thinking he's an apprentice I think that was a funny part of Scourge nobody used.
If you want to get realistic or something you could say maybe Dimple being green was proof enough to the clans he's otherworldly and therefore totally a real starclan warrior. His suffix Moss is pretty obvious but -wish has an in and out of universe explanation. In-universe it's about his own wishes of being important (godly perhaps?). Out of universe it's a reference to my favorite old timey warrior cats fansite warriors wish.
Teru - okay I will admit this is the only design that's loosely based on some fursona art. I saw art of him as a Pomeranian with the rest of the gang and I was obsessed I could not let him be a cat. He is a full respected warrior of the clan though do Not make any comments about him being a dog unless you wanna get killed. I love warriors aus or fanclans where non-cats are part of the clan too I think adding other animals adds a lot of fun elements to the world. In another clan of mine there's a pig. Reject canon. Add more animals to the clans.
As for his name I thought about naming giving him the Star prefix just to be annoying but theres certain lines I won't cross and that's one. So he's Suntuft. the -tuft is because he's a big fluffy dog lots of fur.
Toichirou - So like...in terms of structure Claw is basically just Bloodclan and guy who shows up out of nowhere with a huge army at the last second w/ plans to take over the world (forest)? that's so Scourge coded. Why does he have a clan name though? Secret For Later >:3c
In terms of design he's literally just a taller pointier Mob now in Red. Why he has the -claw suffix should be pretty obvious and I know in the anime his hair isnt quite red but i remembered it being pretty red when I was designing and Shou has red hair (im getting to him dw) so...red. I also thought it would be diabolical to give him the same name as the canon hero of the actual warriors books.
#mob psycho 100#mob psycho fanart#warrior cats au#shigeo kageyama#reigen arataka#serizawa katsuya#mp100 ekubo#teruki hanazawa#toichirou suzuki#mp100 warriored cats#i have been doing nothing but these for months oh my GOD#i have a lot of WIPs but i wanted to get their design sheets down and i have DONE IT#i very rarely take on big projects like this and I certainly never make it this far. i usually draw one character and then give up#the power of absolute cataclysmic autism i guess but anyways im happy to post these and actually be able to talk about them more#my room channel in my friends server is full of so much bullshit i want to do with them and me problem-solving how to plot this in real tim#my friends r getting so tired of me LMAO#anyways none of you can see me but i am Vibrating at a frequency that shatters glass i love this au so much i am disastrous
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No way I just watched a horror game playthrough, and it made me cry like a fucking baby
#Im like 'oh! eldritch horror! one of my fav flavors of horror!! and its my fav streamer :)'#NO. NO. BAD FUCKING IDEA. VERY FUCKING SAD.#Like there is death everywhere#but thats most horror games#BUT ITS THE VOICE ACTING AND ANIMATIONS- THE REACTIONS R SO REAL AND THE DYNAMICS ARE SO IN DEPTH.#You absolutely can believe they r real people w/ real connections bc of it and its PHENOMANAL. 100/10 for immersion#And on top of that. we r given a protag who has a wife and lil ones. Like he's not perfect. but he talks about the love for his kids#And his wife too#and Im like 'oh yay :) Talk of a family! he'll end up with them in the end'#HE FUCKING DIES. HE DIED IN THE END#It's my fav thing ever when media makes the flawed but lovable protag FUCKING DIE. WITH NO REAL HAPPY ENDING.#Even better if death IS the happy ending- which its supposed to be in this game BUT ITS SO FUCKING SAD#not specifying what game it is bc im trying not to spoil it for others bc I TALKED ABOUT THE ENDING but if you know the game... u will know#the bug speaks
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