#real ones know that my main username (and on my art instagram before it was vomitcore) on here used to be kiricore

[pipcore]

it feels like 2018 again

[toonrandy]

Loud House fans...we need to talk.

So, yeah...

I was a big fan of The Loud House and I met several great friends -- one who became a best friend of mine and has since played an important role in my life through the good and the bad. And I drew fan art of the series. A whole lot, in fact -- more than any other animated series I've watched because for whatever reason I constantly came with ideas for TLH and that I drew stuff for the fans when I was taking requests at the time.

So, as you may have already known about me as well as the series and the fandom itself, things have happened to me and it led me to be no longer interested in TLH. But what you may have not known is that (aside from two pieces of art that I drew as a favor to a friend as well as another idea I just couldn't resist drawing last month) I made the decision to stop drawing TLH fan art at the end of last year. For good.

More recently, events have led to this decision. On DeviantArt (and on Instagram to a lesser extent), I've experienced art theft from various people in the fandom and they posted it as their own. They even made some weird edits to my art; on one piece they inserted some OC they created in the place of a character from the series. All of this has happened without my knowledge or consent. Many of them are even followers of mine (I didn't follow them back).

Another event that happened was that on Twitter I noticed that a TLH fan who ships Lincoln and Lynn (blech!) -- and it's even on his username, BTW, and has some NSFW stuff on his account -- used a drawing of mine showing Lincoln and Lynn simply hugging, which I had since deleted. Unfortunately, for a drawing that was only intended to show a happy, innocent moment between siblings -- which is nothing wrong with that and it's something that pretty much all siblings do in real life to show their support and I have brothers myself -- in addition to the Lincoln/Lynn shipper who misused my drawing I got some pushback, mainly from the series' non-fans. I mean, people who look at that drawing and say that it's pro-incest are saying more about themselves, let's be honest. My God, the fandom has ruined its reputation to everyone else.

Before those events, there was also at least one user on DA who had misused my art and looked really deep into them and treated it as if it was a fetish or something. Another user has added my TLH fan art to their weirdly named folders (I had since blocked them), and I have had people who made NSFW roleplaying to my art for whatever reason and I disabled comments whenever I noticed it.

And, of course, there are people giving me art requests of TLH characters in situations involving a fetish. Most of the time when I say no, they either ask why or continue to insist that I should draw it. They really have no boundaries for themselves. And what happened here this morning with me dealing with a user is further proof. They even followed me presumably to get me to finally cave in or whatever.

That's the Loud House fandom in a nutshell. I know you would make an argument saying that all fandoms are like that and any fandom can have its share of good people, which I can agree only to that second part. But I've never seen such a fandom for an animated series that's being made with kids in mind that have so many psychotic and nasty people. And unfortunately I know a few people who are adults (not gonna name names) acting weirdly over the series' main characters. It's filled with weirdos. No other fandom I've ever involved with had that kind of a problem.

I shouldn't draw anymore fan art for a show I no longer care about that also has a problematic fandom. I guess I'm the kind of person who bore some of these negative interactions and other abuse because I was kinda prominent within the fandom and was drawing TLH regularly and constantly receiving high marks for them. There was the fact that I was lamenting that my TLH fan art always get smore attention than everything else I drew and I wanted people to check out my other stuff because I had worked hard on them. I love other shows, too. I didn't want to be known only as that guy who draws TLH fan art. I have a mutual who feels the same way and have similar problems with the fandom as well.

Another thing: Long after I began to disassociate myself with the fandom, long story short I was in a spat with someone on Twitter (also one of my followers) and I got some backlash over an opinion I made that they don't like. I quit Twitter and deleted my original account but I have later returned. It was in reaction to a fan of the series on DA who was also a stalker and I was very frustrated. I even alluded to it on a few earlier tweets.

Looking back at it now, I think I should've done things differently regarding this situation. But that guy I dealt with is, like, a stalker. He keeps being banned from DA but he comes back with a variation of the same name as with all accounts he'd created. He would ask someone to draw stuff for him but when he was told no he would then respond with something disturbing. And I was unfortunate to see the same person on Twitter. He went as far to make around TEN accounts with a variation of his name and even left some disturbing responses to various accounts. Repeatedly.

As of late there are people within the fandom who are pushing back negativity from non-fans who gave them various labels mainly because of the other people who gave the TLH fandom notoriety. Again, there are some good people. But I really think that the fandom as a whole cares more about the people criticizing them instead of actually trying to use a lot of their energy fixing the problems and improving their image, even if they don't like such people. The fandom has stalkers, abusers, p*dos, fetishes -- you name it. And there are some bullies, too -- maybe the fandom would also worry about the bullies within the fandom in addition to those outside it.

And that's something I wish my former follower I had a spat with would understand because I was stalked and bullied. (Then again, maybe the fandom is too big for any actual changes to be made.) I do believe he made it sound like I was looking for trouble when in reality I did nothing and was minding my own business. Such people find me on their own. And the whole thing happened after I got out of the fandom and moved on to other things.

I had continued to like The Loud House after I left the fandom and quit watching new episodes, and I even watched The Loud House Movie and liked it despite its flaws. However, the controversies relating to TLH franchise that erupted over the internet last fall made me change a lot of opinions I had towards it since. Although I think I'm not ready to say it now, maybe I'll wait until there's an announcement about the main series ending in the future.

And I sincerely hope that no future children's show will amass such as a large and problematic fandom like TLH's. It shouldn't have happened. But it did. And hopefully it will be something we all should learn from. To paraphrase what my mutual have said about the fandom, the bad far outweighs the good. And besides, several people I know including my friends gave up on the show at one point and moved on to other things.

One last thing: I'm considering deleting all of my TLH-related posts here...for reasons.

[drowninginturtles5]

Roleplay gone wrong

Forgive me, I'm new to Tumblr, but I needed to get my experience out there, for my own Catharsis. It's been far too much for me, and now I feel like I'm too far to not care anymore. If you feel like reading about the worst RP partner I've ever had, or will ever had, stick around, this ride is wild. And it started with South Park of all things. Fucking South Park.

This whole thing takes place on Instagram, I can't say her username obviously, but her art style is so distinct that the second I saw her in the OCxCanon tag, I followed her immediately. That...and she had an OC shipped with Jimmy Neutron. It was unique to say the least, and even though it probably makes me sound incredibly bad, I needed to know how deep the rabbit hole went.

I watched her for...nearly a year or two before we started talking, I think. In that time I watched her OCs evolve, most of which were self inserts. She had one main OC that she used for quite a few fandoms, all shipped. This includes:

TJ and Vince from Recess

Arthur, Brain, Binky, Two of Binky's friends I don't remember, and Buster from Arthur

Max from Max and Ruby

Ralphie from the Magic School Bus

And probably more I'm forgetting about. But that was just the one OC. She had a few of them, I think the one that shocked me the most was Rugrats. All of her stuff involved shipping, with distressingly young characters. That does include the Ninja Turtles, God damn there was so much Ninja Turtles. I'm so very fucking sick of Ninja Goddamn Motherfucking Turtles.

I realize this doesn't make me sound good. I either look like a bully, or just a weirdo. It was wrong of me, but I was just drowning in curiosity, and you know what they say about that. I'll go ahead and say it, it was like a joke, almost. I hadn't RP'd in a minute, And she was always advertising for a writing partner, she seemed to have one for a while but I would come to realize that it's something she does Constantly.

updates in real time, as, against my better judgement, I'm still in contact with this insane bitch. And just so I'm clear, everyone in his scenario, including me, is in their 20s.

[wulfums]

tell us about your bjh s/i / selfship!! i love the show... i've watched its entirety a few times now. what's he like? how'd he meet mr. pb? does he get along well with the other main characters, or not?

OMG so!

I have a lot for them - I started self shipping with Mr Peanutbutter when the first season aired, before the show got big. So I was the only BJHM self shipper back then so I was kinda well known for it (like people would send me fics in my asks...miss that)

My guy is named Deerdog! His real first name is Rex but he just gets called Deerdog. He's a purple tufted deer (The deer with the fangs!)

Here's an old image of them- it was submitted to me on anon back then and I never knew who did it. It looks So Canon that I wonder if a crew member did it(Once again, if anyone knows who Did draw it, lmk!)

Here's a more up to date pic of them together by worstie @sapiosexual-riddler (Worstie because I hate its username </3 /lh)

They met when Deerdog was a showrunner on a cartoon that Mr Peanutbutter was cast as a guest star for. Funny enough- BoJack originally had the voice role but Deerdog found him SO insufferable that he kicked him off the show. So he was expecting more stress recasting at the last minute- but Mr PB actually ended up making him laugh and to him, really did embody the character who was very sweet.

Deerdog made soooo many excuses to be around him- this was before Mr PB dated Diane(Deerdog is a lot older than he looks. He's cursed with babyface like me.)and PB happened to be single...so Deerdog shoot his shot and got a date. They really did hit it off well. The main issue was- Mr PB was very passive in standing up for Deerdog with other celebs. Deerdog had not had top surgery back then so he looked feminine. PB always got the pronouns right, but wouldn't always correct others who didn't- which wasn't alright At All and is why they ended up breaking up despite being good together otherwise. There was also issues with Deerdog's unmedicated/uncontrolled BPD. He did lash out and struggle with jealousy- a lot. They really both had their issues and it was best for them to split sadly.

So, flash forward to current day Hollywoo. What changes from the canon version is PB only dates Pickles for a short amount of time- she realizes a lot sooner she should *really* be with someone that 1. Wont cheat on her and 2. Is better (Joey Pogo My Beloved). In the show after they broke off, it's clear Mr PB is taking a break from dating. Well- dating women. I think he thinks back to the one man he dated...Deerdog. He thinks a lot about it for months and months- over the fact that he and Deerdog probably got on the best out of all his relationships. The fact that there wasn't the age power imbalance(Which...king this shouldnt have taken you SO long to figure out was an issue with your relationships but hey at least you finally did. Unlike SOME people. Staring at the fucked up horse.). They both had the same love language. Even after all this time, PB still thought about him pretty frequently. His other exes he was able to fall out of love with but IDK...Deerdog was different.

So he ended up finding Deerdog's art instagram and DMing him. Deerdog was honestly very surprised- he had been out of the TV/Movie game for a long time and was just doing indie projects now- he honestly thought PB had forgotten about him completely. He still had his aprehension- the main reason he hadn't really dated much since the breakup was due to society's transphobia which, sadly, had only gotten worse. But he agreed to meet up with PB.

When they met up for coffee at Starbarks, I think they started with small talk and then an awkward silence...and PB apologized for not sticking up for Deerdog- explaining that it wasn't OK. Deerdog was Very taken aback by this and maybe started tearing up a bit. The bar is on the floor but it was passed at the very least. Deerdog also explained he was very sorry for his behavior back then- he's since gotten therapy and mental health help, and if PB was open to it, he'd love to be friends again.

And well...they didn't stay friends long. Because they started dating again a few weeks into being Friends again. This time it goes much, much better. Their time apart had allowed them to grow as people.

Long Story Short, they DO get married- and everyone thinks it's going to end like the last ones since they had only been dating a year...but it didn't. It lasts- it's still going. They absolutely have issues sometimes but they're able to use coping skills and communication skills instead of letting themselves bottle it up and get mad about it.

Their ship name is Peanutbutterjelly btw

[shoichee]

hello! may i ask some tips about the instragram acccunts the GoM + kagami could have? like of sort of post, amount of followers, stuff like that THANK U and have a great day !!

THIS IS ACTUALLY HILARIOUS SINCE I BREATHE OFF OF INSTAGRAM LFMAO

[Headcanons]

Kuroko Tetsuya

HELP WHAT IF HE HAS NO PRESENCE ON SOCIAL MEDIA TOO—

professional lurker

never comments on anything unless it’s to congratulate under a friend’s post or something like that

probably started using it because Ogiwara moved from letters and texts to just... instagram (technology advancements, jazz hands)

his account is on private, and he only lets people he knows follow him

all of his posts are pictures to commemorate something or just really wholesome group pictures

DEFINITELY has that picture of the GoMs at his birthday OVA

DEFINITELY also posted the big birthday picture taken at the end of the party

and also had typed very sappy BIG paragraph captions for both of these posts, talking about the journey and him being grateful… y’know, him being him

HIS ENTIRE COMMENT SECTIONS ARE JUST EVERYONE SOBBING AND KEYBOARD SPAMMING??? ONLY LIKE MIDORIMA AND AKASHI POST COHERENT RESPONSES UNDERNEATH

@kiseryouta: kuROKOCCHIIIII!!NEJWIEISK

@momoiowo: TETSUU (ʃƪ˘･ᴗ･˘) YOURE SO SWEET REEEE

@a_daikiii: i stg quit being so corny no one died yet🙄 and @momoiowo relax smh

@shin_chan77: I suppose I can express some form of gratitude for being in my life despite you being a blood type A. (insert a giant paragraph after this)

@4k4shi: This was very touching to read, Kuroko. I’m very glad that our… (insert him going down memory lane)

Murasakibara has no comment LMAO

his entire Seirin team are his hype men under his posts

his profile picture is literally the gray default blank head because he didn’t even set up a profile picture for himself

he has like 20 followers max or something?

8 posts? like, he only posts on special occasions or big events

his occasional stories are always comprised of Nigou and blurry Kagami pictures/videos running away from Nigou UH OH (courtesy of @dust-of-fandoms)

@tetsuya11 for his user handle

@dust-of-fandoms JUST MADE AN INSTAGRAM FOR HIM HERE!!

Kise Ryota

uses his instagram account as a portfolio for his modeling career

majority of his posts are actually pictures he managed to snag from his frequent model shoots

it looks SO professional… but then you look at his IGTVs and his reel videos

his reels are either short clips of mini vlog series he does whenever he visits the GoMs or when he’s recording his Kaijō teammates doing tricks and dunks

his IGTVs are either skincare tutorials, fashion advice… or just… unexplainable, out-of-context shitposts of Kise running away from what fans assumed “a green-haired man” or some “captain”

follower account?? 124k

who wouldn’t resist a hot model?

DEFINITELY HAS A TIKTOK I CAN FEEL IT

@kiseryouta with an official verification next to it

people either love him or hate him

posts a casual selfie from time to time, and people praise him for “being real” LMAODOA AND HE’S JUST STARING AT HIS PHONE LIKE “??? IMIG BUT I JUST FELT CUTE TODAY”

his captions feel fake LMAO like: “Wow! today’s so pretty today!” as he puts a selfie post OR “What’s your favorite game?✨” under a professionally-shot model picture that does not correlate with the caption???

has posted shitposts on his stories and his fans are utterly confused… only the GoMs get it LMAO

Midorima Shintarou

ONLY reason why he has social media is because Takao convinced him that he could let everyone know the daily lucky items for each signs for every post he makes

so for the first 2 months of having instagram he just casually posts a “daily horoscope” report(?) for the day

his content attracted in all the astrology fans and people who are devoted to tarots

and he’s CONFUSED.

… Takao may or may not have played a hand in messing with the algorithms to expose his account to bigger audiences

once Midorima finds out he’s MAD LMAO *insert Takao pain noises*

either goes down two paths: just casually continuing to post the daily Oha Asa predictions without interacting with anyone OR deleting his account and making a new PRIVATE one just for communication/lurking purposes

so he can honestly have 10k followers if he chooses to be a horoscope account or like 3 followers on his private, take it or leave it

maybe he has two accounts if he feels that having instagram has its merits

definitely has a shit ton of random stuff/posts in his saved collections

boomer energy, like… what’s a “reels” feature?? people talk to their phone camera and record that?? he’s squinting really hard and scratching his head

either has 356 horoscope posts on his “main” or like 19 posts on his private

has a rubber duck as a profile picture for BOTH ACCOUNTS HELP HIM

@oha_asa_ for his horoscope account or @shin_chan77 as his personal because he doesn’t know how to change his username (thanks, Takao LMAO)

Aomine Daiki

he doesn’t give a shit about instagram LOL

it’s MOMOI who handles his account because he doesn’t wanna bother with it LMAOO

she would tease him and try to “encourage” him to stop lazing around by taking pictures of him whenever he’s snoozing and posting it

but he’s so damn good-looking that his sleeping pictures got some traction with new fans

Aomine is still sleeping

his account also has pictures of him eating at Maji burger or at a café, and of course Momoi is the one snapping these photos of him

he started caring about it a little more once Momoi told him that he can post videos of himself doing trickshots and one-on-ones to potentially find worthy rivals over the internet and meet up

so now his account (videos, reels, IGTVs) are all riddled with basketball/small parkour footage shot by yours truly, Momoi

so his fanbase is split between thirsty people and people who genuinely admire him for his skills… but I mean there’s also people in both categories, anywho

he’d totally follow his favorite Japanese idols on IG if they had one

also would follow any NBA-related accounts/players he admires

has like 2.7k followers (but growing really fast) with like 176 posts of videos and random pictures of him

his profile picture is literally a picture of him sleeping by Momoi

@a_daikiii

Momoi Satsuki

LOTS OF REALLY cute, playful selfies, and a lot of them are used with cute filters from the Snow app

sometimes would post herself doing a really cute Tiktok dance while in her school uniform

she doesn’t post too much; she’s actually more into posting IG stories and making highlights out of them and then making highlight covers have a coordinating theme together

very aesthetic theme on her feed overall hehe

definitely uses her account to comment on other GoMs posts, often commenting something snarky on Aomine’s and Kise’s

actually has 1-2 IGTVs on the Vorpal Sword’s big game against the Jabberwocks

doesn’t have much of full-body shots/outfit pictures other than mirror selfies because Aomine refuses to take good pictures of her

only when she sees Kise or Kuroko is when she can ask either to be a photographer

she’s definitely gotten a few small collab offers from small businesses, but she usually ignores them because it’s not exactly her thing

her profile picture is just a selfie with a sketch-line cat ear filter

uses a bunch of emoticons on her bio, captions, comments, everything

⌒(ㅇㅅㅇ❀)⌒ or ☆⌒(＞。≪) or .₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑*̑˚̑*̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑*̑˚̑*̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑*̑˚̑*̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑*̑˚̑*̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇. you get the picture

967 followers… that looks way too specific, but it’s somewhere around there; a lot of them came from Aomine’s account after they saw who’s been taking his pictures, and they wanna learn more about her??

around 40 posts?

@momoiowo

Murasakibara Atsushi

Himuro showed him how to use the app, but Murasakibara doesn’t find ANY USE FOR THIS LMAOO

he’d probably only get on it to look at food on the explore page and drool about the cuisines

keeps tabs on local places/restaurants/shops on instagram; those are probably the only accounts he’d follow tbh

it’s probably like ONE post and it’s an old picture of a dango on a plate he ate like 2 years ago

I have this image in my head that he has a really cute bento art as his profile picture?? can you imagine a Rilakkuma-shaped rice as his PROFILE PICTURE?

his bio is definitely: “hungry”

and that’s it

27 followers, and it’s literally just his Yōsen teammates, the GoMs and probably some other classmates of his

his captions are literally empty or 1-2 words

@oomaib0

Akashi Seijuro

only uses instagram because it’ll be beneficial for his company and to expand social networks, plus getting those sweet business deals and engagement

he doesn’t mind seeing really wholesome videos on the explore page though

when he wants to relax, a cat video melts his stress away

laughs to himself while he reads all the shenanigans underneath the GoMs’ posts

DEFINITELY loses a few brain cells seeing trolls and idiots on the internet… especially on controversial or political ones LMAO

he at first had to REFRAIN himself and take deep breaths before he just scrolls on, but he eventually got used to them and can now easily ignore them as easy as he breathes air

he actually enjoys shitposts and meme videos?? like he may not completely understand the meme trends sometimes, but he’ll still find it amusing enough for a chuckle

he ends up being the one who uses instagram the most? like Kise posts a shit ton, yeah, but Kise doesn’t really sit down and just scroll endlessly; Kise releases out content, while Akashi consumes the content

he reasons with himself that it’s to study his current demographics for the company, and while that may be true, Akashi just enjoys social media, plain and simple LOL

he does get to study the behaviors of all the generations using the platform, young folks and old folks alike, and it does get him excited in using his analytical skills to try to figure out people BEHIND a screen rather than those in front of him

it makes a really good challenge for him when he wants a good mental exercise

he has a post or two about his horses, his manor, and a video or two on him playing his violin?? but most are business-related, them being advertisements or business contracts/offers… things like that

his highlights are all about Q&As regarding the company, his background, his skillsets, etc. like an actual resumé

actually links current world issue cards/petitions on top of his company website; he’s quite an advocate

he actually doesn’t post about basketball because that’s something very close to his heart since it reminds him of his late mother… having that mixed in with his company-related posts feels wrong to him

27k followers, most of them are business-related accounts AND some are some followers his father bought for him without Akashi’s input to inflate engagement, etc.

@4k4shi… oh he thinks he’s SO CLEVER FOR MAKING THIS USERNAME LOL with the 4 being his jersey number and the 4s looking like As… AKASHI PLEASE—

his profile pic is like a professionally taken picture, nothing less for our king

his grammar and syntax are impeccable on social media; after all, he’s still being judged for how he carries himself even on the media

Kagami Taiga

mukbang guy… DEFINITELY

hot guy eating nine plates of steaks

IGTVs are filled with mukbang videos because Kuroko said he could make a living off of his appetite

HE COULD MAKE MONEY OFF OF JUST EATING? SIGN HIM UP.

on his posts, he posts dishes he makes for the day/is proud of and talks about the dish and ingredients briefly in the caption

that, or he has pictures of his new basketball shoes LMAO

or all of his basketball merch

HE’S DEFINITELY POSTED PICTURES OF LANDMARKS AND OTHER ICONIC PLACES HE’S TRAVELED TO (*cough* in America)

has a generic Jordan brand logo against a dark background as a profile picture

doesn’t have his face anywhere unless it’s in a mukbang video

279 followers or something

why do I have a feeling that he’ll accidentally blow up when Alex takes his phone to do a quick selfie on it?—

@taiga10

[not-poignant]

As series go on, they always tend to get a fewer amount of readers, with the rare exceptions of like,, game of thrones and stuff. Like you said, tip requires a LOT of background reading. You’re on entirely new characters than where you started and for a lot of people looking to get into the series by seeing TIP (which is what they will see, because that’s what you’re updating) the sheer amount of work they’ll have to read through to then get to TIP will be overwhelming, especially because (1/2)

they’ll see there’s an entire change in main characters and think ‘that’s too much’, and even more so because Game Theory has a very very different tone to TIP. I’m sure these are things you already know but this is just my take on it - this decreases in interaction is (heartbreakingly) natural, and if it’s not sustainable for you then it’s not sustainable, and the fans that ARE here and have read everything will be upset, but you have to do what’s best for you. Stay strong, Pia 💕      

           It’s a lot of effort and a relatively daunting task I know, but if you really want to increase the Fae Tales readers then maybe you could promo it? Make a photo advertising either Game Theory or TIP, send it to writing accounts asking them to share it, maybe even pay promo it on Instagram etc etc. People will tend to jump on an adult dark fantasy series because there just aren’t enough of them, especially one with such amazing representation. Just some ideas (:                 

Another idea (I’m so sorry if I’m overstepping my hounds here by the way, I’d just really love to help): a lot of people that read your work really, really care about it. If you ask, they will promo for you - posting on their own various accounts about Fae Tales etc Because a good portion of your users want to see this series survive because they love FT and have invested so much into it emotionally. I know a lot of people think it’s tacky to ask fans for support, but u gotta do what u gotta do            

*

I mean yes, I literally said this myself in my post about it:

(and tbh, The Ice Plague requiring so much early reading re: GT and COFT means it’s almost completely inaccessible to new readers anyway)

So I am aware. That being said, the drop in engagement is across all of my fics, including things like The Spoils of the Spoiled which requires literally zero background reading to leap straight into, and even Eversion (it may be my highest performer right now, but engagement is still dropping). It’s also been across oneshots / smaller offerings too etc.

Like, trust me, if it was only The Ice Plague, it’d be understandable. It’s been my lowest performing serial that I’ve ever written and that’s been true from the beginning. Some people have made it clear to me that they’re not really rooting for Mosk and Eran, and they miss Gwyn and Augus, and so even though Eran and Mosk have fans, it’s like...I know where I’m at. It’s also a place I’ve been before, when I left RotG to write Augus/Gwyn in the first place. A lot of those people vanished/disappeared ages ago, when I started TIP, or even before, since it took me so long to start writing it after finishing COFT.

But it’s not only The Ice Plague. I am considering this across multiple points, believe me, and when I say engagement is dropping, I don’t just mean ‘engagement is dropping on the one thing that is actually really hard for a lot of people to read.’

Unfortunately Game Theory is too dark to promo on many sites, because most of its content is against the TOS of many sites. While I’m sure lots of people ‘get away’ with doing that anyway, I’ve never been one to knowingly flaunt TOS, and Game Theory literally starts with ‘rape as titillation’ and doesn’t get much better from there.

Re: the last part, I just don’t think you can reasonably say ‘a good portion of your users want to see this series survive.’ Imho, I don’t think that’s true. I think there is a proportion of readers who enjoy the series and do want it to survive but I don’t think it’s the majority, who probably just read it and move onto the next thing, and I think the engaged people are already doing the best that they can. Those are the people who are commenting, sending asks, already engaging etc. For the people who literally can’t muster the energy to engage more, they’re not in a position to promo. (To say nothing of the fact that promotion on Tumblr right now, given Tumblr has lost at least 30% of its userbase, is kind of a wash.)

On top of that, people who do think it’s worth reading do encourage others to read it, but as I’ve heard time and time again over the years, the story goes a lot like this: ‘I would love to rec this but unfortunately it’s just too dark for a lot of the people I know / but I’ve asked several of my friends to read it!’ which is the most generous thing, but also is realistic.

It IS too dark for a lot of people to read, and one of the luxuries of the anonymity of Tumblr (and one of the reasons I’m not on Facebook or even Twitter with this stuff) is precisely because a lot of people don’t want to associate their ‘real’ work or family identities with Fae Tales and the content I write specifically. I’m really sensitive to that, I’m the first to say that FT is hard to rec. As a result of that, very few people actually post broad-scale recommendations. It’s completely understandable. It’s not like I’m marketing a regular romance here. (Which would be easy to do, but is not what I want to write, lol).

Even with all of that in mind, it still doesn’t explain the sudden 8 month downswing. Nor, even, does me writing The Ice Plague, since I’ve been writing that for a decent amount of time, enough to see an upward swing in the first year and a decent plateau of engagement during the first Ice Plague installment.

Like, a lot of your suggestions seem to imply that it should be the readers who should work harder, or that there’s this huge invisible userbase who want FT to survive and could do more, and I just...don’t think that’s true. I generally know the people invested in FT pretty well, as usernames on Tumblr, as commenters, as people who have diligently left kudos on nearly everything I’ve written over the years. I wouldn’t say that a single one of them hasn’t done their best to love the writing and show their appreciation for it.

And then outside of that, the vast bulk of the readers, objectively, will be people who aren’t that invested, and aren’t here on Tumblr, will never see this post (or any preceding it), and just leave a like (if I’m lucky) and move on. Which is normal.

It may be that things plateau. It may be that antis have really changed the way people are reading now. It may be that things continue on this downswing for years. It may be that things look up (though I expect after being honest about it, there will be a bump in activity for about a week or two before it crashes again). I’m not making any firm decisions now, but over the past 8 months I have looked at (and brainstormed) a ton of different options and even actioned some of them. I’ve also done a lot of pros/cons lists for different writing patterns (i.e. do I go book only, do I stay hybrid, do I keep going like this for another year, do I add in art, do I write less / more etc.)

It is possible that new projects may bring some new energy, but I’m in two minds about whether that’s true. And I certainly can’t privilege writing fanfiction over original fiction anyway (because...income). I’m just going to wait and see for a while. I really appreciate the thoughts/suggestions, and I wish I could say I think that’ll be the thing that makes the difference, but I see people reccing my stuff on Twitter - and they have been over the past few months. I see it happening on Tumblr sometimes. People do try their absolute hardest because they care about the writing. This isn’t on them.

There’s something else going on, something systemic that’s external, and something about my writing, regardless of the project, and that’s just...how I see it.

[nyxelestia]

I’ve talked a ton about what fandom spaces look like when Black woman steps into a racebent role, but not about what happens to Black men who play racebent roles in the same franchises.

If you think that things are any easier for Black men in fandom well…

You’ve thought wrong.

This installment of What Fandom Racism Looks Like will look at how the racism behind how the Smallville fandom treated Pete Ross – played by Sam Jones III – and how, over a decade later, the Supergirl fandom pulls from the same playbook in order to excuse heaping a ton of racism on James Olsen and the black actor that plays him, Mehcad Brooks.

It is a fact of fandom that Black characters of any gender are treated poorly in comparison to non-Black characters. When you take gender into consideration, misogynoir leaps out and the anti-black and anti-woman violence leaps out, but that doesn’t mean that Black men have ever been beloved in fandom.

Some Black men/male characters are liked a little bit more than Black women in similar shows or properties, but can you actually name one that is treated on the same level as a white male character or performer?

Can you name one that’s actually beloved?

We’re now in my fifth year of running Stitch’s Media Mix and one constant that I’ve talked about is the way that the Star Wars fandom maligns, dismisses, and makes weird shit up about Finn and his actor John Boyega.

Folks across various fandom spaces don’t limit their ire just to Finn’s existence and creating fanworks (fiction, art, and meta fandom analysis) that turn him into a villain or kill him off so that Kylo Ren could succeed as the “real” hero of the franchise.

No.

I’m talking about folks deciding Boyega has to be homophobic because he’s Nigerian-British and because his father is prominent in their church and things like the time folks flooded his mentions calling him a misogynist and sexist and even @-ing Lucasfilm/Disney over a video of him dancing during carnival.

What Finn and John Boyega go have been going through since in 2015 is what Mehcad Brooks and James Olsen go through in 2019.

It’s an updated version of what Sam Jones III and Pete Ross went through a decade ago.

Looking back now, it’s obvious that the Smallville fandom was predictable in the same ways that many other superhero fandoms are now.

The most popular ship for the fandom was between two white male characters – Lex Luthor and Clark Kent – frenemies for life.

It’s a fandom that often treated white female characters and characters of color as obstacles in the way of the main slash relationship – instead of like Lex Luthor’s everything. It’s a ship with a fanbase that pretty much cut out or ignored the relationships either white male character had with white women or people of color in order to portray their relationship as the most important one across the series.

With that much predictability, it’s not that difficult to look back at fanworks from when the Smallville fandom was at its highest and draw connections between what fandom did over a decade ago and what it continues to do now.

Pete Ross wasn’t the first sidekick or friend in a superhero drama to be racebent.

In Smallville alone, biracial Chinese-American Kristen Kreuk was cast to play a racebent version of Clark Kent’s teenaged sweetheart Lana Lang. (And Dean Cain’s Clark Kent on The Adventures of Clark Kent and Lois Lane in the early Nineties was visibly not white.)

However, the fandom’s response to this newly Black Pete Ross was… different.

When folks in fandom deigned to write him, they wrote him as a shucking and jiving stereotype, an approximation of what they think Black men were like In 2002.

Back then, longtime fan writer teland aired one hell of a grievance about the way that folks in the Smallville fandom insisted on writing Pete Ross when the series first aired, writing that:

If I *never* see another story where Pete fucking ROSS goes around speaking stereotypical JIVE again it will be too soon. What the fuck is *wrong* with you people? Do you *watch* the show? Has Pete *ever* been anything but a normal smartass teenaged boy with a crush on Chloe and a lust for every other woman his eyes have lit upon? Has he *ever* expressed an interest in the poetry of Amiri Baraka? Does he cruise the streets of Smallville in his low-rider and do drive-bys with his do-rag arranged in Criply perfection?

 No?

 Then why the *fuck* do you write him that way, numbnuts?

This fannish insistence on writing Pete Ross as hella hood despite the fact that there are next to no other Black people in Smallville – much less a “hood” of any kind – was one of the ways that the Smallville fandom made it very clear that they didn’t actually see Pete Ross as a character. He was a bad blank slate, one that they could overlay not with the nuanced characterization that white blank slates got –

But with stereotypes about Blackness.

There is no “hood” in Smallville, Kansas.

Outside of a few racebent characters, the small country town is pretty darn white. There are several episodes of Smallville where Pete is the only character of color with dialogue. He’s frequently the ONLY black character on-screen and his dialogue and motivations aren’t exactly hard to parse –

So why was fandom’s “go to” for Pete Ross a hella hood version that dropped slang and exhibited a frankly offensive stereotype of Black existence that didn’t even apply to him?

Simply put?

The Smallville fandom, like many fandoms when faced with having to interact with or write a Black character for the first time in ages, gravitated towards what they knew from their limited interactions with Blackness and Black people. Their biases shone through because it was, for them, the only way they knew how to conceptualize Black people.

(You can see this replicated in more modern fandom with how the MCU fandom tries to turn Sam Wilson into a hard hood stereotype in fanworks or that one horrible headcanon where Miles shoplifted to get art supplies – despite his solidly middle-class existence and strong views of right and wrong.)

If you know nothing about Black people outside of what like… Fox News and your elderly grandparents in the Midwest tell you about Black people and have no interest in seeing us AS PEOPLE or doing the work to unbuild those biases, your fanworks that reference or even center Black characters will hold those beliefs.

Pete Ross was on Smallville for three seasons. In those three seasons, the fandom pretty much decided that he was set up to sit in one of two roles. Either he’d be a supportive sidekick to Clark and company, or he’d be a villain. And either way, when they wrote him, they often gravitated to writing him as a hood stereotype.

Again, there are next to no other Black people in Smallville on the seasons Pete Ross is one of Clark’s closest friends.

Smallville is a picture of white Americana right down to how the show and town takes a Highlander-esque approach to diversity where only a few characters of color are even allowed to inhabit the same space at any given time.

Unlike many of the other Black male characters that set fandoms afire with their ire, Pete Ross wasn’t a threat to established ships or character arcs. He was gone before he really had a chance to shine, written off and moved out of town as other characters took his spot at Clark’s right hand.

What happens when a Black male character is in the way of one ship or poses a threat to another?

Well, for the answer to that, we need to fast forward over a decade to the Supergirl fandom and how it treats Mehcad Brooks and his character on the show, James Olsen.  From the start, racebending Clark Kent’s most famous sidekick didn’t go well. His casting was met with frustration from all corners of fandom from folks that hated that he was a) Black and b) potentially in a relationship with Kara.

Then season two on The CW happened and the fandom kind of… started mutating in the worst way.

Certain parts of the Supergirl fandom will have you believing that James Olsen is the worst character on the show and that Mehcad is the most problematic person to ever work on a CW show.

They cite Mehcad’s (admittedly offensive) Instagram username, his championing Lena/James as a ship on instagram using a hashtag commonly associated with LGBTQ people, and a comment about how his girlfriend at the time told him that he’s “a lesbian trapped in a football player’s body” made to a trans reporter.

None of those things are great, let’s be very real here.

I don’t actually like or support a lot of how Mehcad Brooks carries himself. I don’t need to like him in order to be very aware of how he’s treated by the fandom from even before he was deemed Problematic.

One of the things I’ve been hyperaware of in fandom is how celebrities and fans of color are shunned for problematic thoughts and behavior in a more… permanent way. There are non-Black CW stars who are problematic – some of them are even on Supergirl – and who’ve presented themselves in ways that aren’t great.

But for the most part, they don’t have people calling for them to be fired or for their character to be killed off.

They don’t have folks pretending to care about marginalized people to cloak their anti-Blackness.

Which is one of my biggest issues with the way that Black male characters are treated in fandom spaces: the way that folks use social justice rhetoric and a vague “desire for representation” to excuse unsubtle racism towards these male characters and their performers.

I know we covered that folks performing wokeness is in the minority of Things That Happen In Fandom, but let’s be clear: this is one occasion where it’s frequent and obvious.

One of the ways that Black characters and performers are subject to racism from fandom is in the way that non-Black fans will reframe them as “too problematic to support” (which therefore allows them to be dehumanized by the fandom that dislikes them). If folks in fandom can claim that they really don’t like a Black character because they need to protect marginalized (white) fans from their existence, then they can’t be called racist.

Because they’re doing it for (white) queer people.

Or (white) women.

But it’s terribly transparent.

After all:

Someone celebrating (with champagne and all) that James Olsen has been shot and that Lex Luthor called him a dog does not actually give a shit about representation for people of color.

Someone fretfully worrying that John Boyega, thanks to his father’s role in their church, is a homophobe that doesn’t actually want Finn/Poe to be canon, doesn’t actually care about queer people.

Someone positing that a Black male character is actually harmful for a non-Black character – and that’s why the fandom has to distrust and dislike them – doesn’t actually care about Black people.

And if you’re out here championing a non-canon (fem)slash ship because #RepresentationMatters at the same time that you’re out here actively wishing evil on a Black performer and hoping that their character gets killed off… you can’t possibly care that much about representation for anyone but white queer people.

It continues to boggle my mind how non-Black fans seem incapable of understanding that we can see their tweets and tumblr posts. They seem incapable of understanding that we know the script as well as they do because we’ve seen them use it across the years of fandom and that we see it put into play, we’re not going to fall for it.

Hell, we’re going to call that crap out.

Pete Ross wasn’t the first Black male character to be mistreated by a white fandom. We’ve got years of evidence of Black male characters being rewritten and misrepresented and torn down in order to lift up non-Black ones. Name me a Black male character in a franchise or fandom and I’ll probably be able to tell you at least two ways that fandom mistreats them.

As we can see with James Olsen, the disgusting way folks in fandom treat and talk about Black male characters and performers. is just going to continue until non-Black fans step up and throw away the script they’re adhering to so hard.

[veegreenekissed-blog]

A Jaded Introduction:

I have been very apprehensive about beginning a true blog. By this I mean to say, in the past I did simpler versions like small paragraph entries on a couple of sites, profiles, and message boards while I was still in school. None of these showed all of my true self as this blog shall. So be ready for what comes next in this latest venture in my life. Its beginning has been long awaited, overthought, and over planned (without any accomplishment of any said planning). I need to just fucking do it. Get over being scared something bad will happen. 

There are too many reasons to go over right now as to why I have felt nervous, anxious, and somewhat fearful of finally putting something, anything onto my page. I am a fucking amazing procrastinator! I have been putting this off for at least 5 fucking years now. Oh, and yes I curse a lot, so if you don’t like that, you will need to deal with that or find an insanely more conservative page (which will likely be hard to do). 

Typically artists of any form have broken filters that we do patch up a bit for events like family occasions and such. These patches are like duct tape on a leaky pipe. Shit still dribbles out and you only have so much time before that tape just peels right off. And, letting alcohol enter that pipe will make the tape peel faster.

……………………………………………………

The main blog profiles from my past often had to do with the support of others enduring forms of depression, and most often the disorders and side effects that come with it. After a while, I realized certain entries of healing supporters were at times, unfortunately, a trigger for myself. 

I do not know how I would react to them now but perhaps there is a reason as to why I could not, even less than a month later of my stopping them, remember any of my profile names, username emails, passwords, etc. For more these sites I used a special new email address and to this day I cannot tell you what it was. 

I suppose this was possibly myself protecting me from what I knew was a trigger, what was even an encouragement. Though supportive in nature, sometimes certain lows others had reached, seemed more like achievements I never came close to. I know, terrible to say, but another motive to help explain depression and its side effects. Have them be realized as diseases, disorders, issues, and more for a reason, which is more often to help others understand them.

……………………………………………………..

Anyways, I should announce a few things about myself.... 

I am a major animal lover/advocate, a feminist, a major homebody, a person majorly attached to family (though I do have my many secrets from all the world as you will come to understand), a person that has lived most of my young life with the “trifecta” (allergies, asthma, skin issues – mine being eczema), a person that is by definition mentally “fucked up” due to both natural and situational causes of depression and the like, a person on meds for that depression and its side effects, a person who has/had the many side effects, disorders, issues that come with depression, including many relapses (no one’s perfect here), a person who is a victim of multiple sexual assaults, and the list goes on just as it would with many of you. 

My one difference that I may have from you is that I am a writer. I need to constantly spew my words or I will explode. These explosions piss others like no other. For many reasons, when I do explode and send lots of words to places, I seem and I think possible am on the verge of manic craze. Attending college made this more difficult after it ruined my writing (obviously I am healing from this being able to begin a blog). Moving to an area that I have always loved but where good therapists are hard to come by also has not helped. My psychiatrist though is the best one I have ever come to have known, so there’s a point for my glass half full. 

I also unlike most my age (stereotypical millennials) do not fake being a true lover of culture, art, history, and things that make us real and existing (not including the many, many moments of people being the shitty, disappointing pricks they/we usually are). I can interact and find conversation with any age group due to my love of culture (45 year-old moms love when they can report back to their kids that they met a twenty-something that didn’t at the time know you can send private messages on Instagram, and that was a mind blowing discovery for me by the way). 

Though I do not keep up with all the latest fucking fads out there that pop up like new spam in your inbox, I do typically need just 20 minutes to learn the ins and outs of the new piece of tech in question. When I sit down and actually put an attempt into learning whatever shit it is, I usually become quite adept. It’s the sitting and attempting part that gets me, the necessary motivation needed to strike just does not often arrive or sometimes ever arrive. 

I love puzzles and trivia so I hate to give up when I am attempting something. It’s a weird determination factor, I know, but it seems to help me out a decent amount when called for. Otherwise, yes, I irate those with my need for Jeopardy-like quizzing. It is one of the very few things I become truly competitive with. Another is foosball. 

I’m pretty sure there’s a numerous amount of dudes out there that think of me as that vodka game girl who was weird as fuck, telling their friends how I wanted to play more games instead of finding a place to do some hooking up (which was and still is because I typically need to be drunk in order to do more than a make out and a hand job, just how it is, thanks to other dudes/your peers).  

……………………………………………

Oh and heads up, I’ve been told I speak about shit that has happened in the past too often and have apparently considered myself a victim for too long. These are the same people that vent about the same boyfriend and other friend drama for years straight. I still listen.   

So, fuck not speaking about what has happened to you in the past! Those scars are there forever. They piss me off and I would like a way to fucking vent without bothering people that tell me they care about me. More about that shit later…. 

I apologize if my age old scars put major dampers when they come up in conversation but they’re there and lasting. 

……………………………………………….

My agenda with this blog is to tell the truth. Including truths that people do not often want to hear. I want to ramble and vent and if anyone out there wants to read my words, hopefully feel something, please do, and perhaps we won’t feel so alone.

XO babes, Jaded Vee 

#blog #assault #depression #eatingdisorder #therapy #sex #fuckedup #truth #animals #rape #scars #jadedtruth #jadedlip #veegreenekissed #veegreene

[freakflagbyiana]

Why “David Bowie is god”

As my site turns one year old today, which is also David Bowie’s birthday, I thought I’d try to begin to explain the importance David Bowie has in my personal life and the effect he had, continues to have, on my career.

Childhood influence

My parents had fairly different musical tastes but the one major thing that overlapped was they were both David Bowie fans. My mom was also a Jim Henson fan so I grew up watching Labyrinth with her. I remember it was out of print for a long time and I was the only kid in the neighborhood with a copy that had been taped off of HBO. As a kid I remember being in love with Jareth’s hair itself, asking Mom if I could make my hair do that one day. She replied “Sweetie, that’s a wig, not his real hair” and it was the dream-shattering equivalent of learning that there was no Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, and Tooth Fairy all rolled up into one. As a goth teenager I really got into his freaky Ziggy era, finding the idea of being an alien heavily relatable. And when I discovered BowieNet when I was 17, to my surprise my parents agreed to pay my annual subscription... It was $70. I think most parents would be like “Your message board fanclub costs how much? HAH! No.” I won’t go into grave detail of my BowieNet life here, because I could write an entire book, but I’ll summarize it. It began in 1996, and behind the pay wall was lots of exclusive bonus content, access to concert presales and bnet-only events, exclusive chatroom Q&As, and a very active message board. This was before Twitter, before Instagram, before Myspace, definitely before Facebook. David Bowie basically created social media as the everyday form we recognize today. He didn’t post all the time but I would still consider him very active on the message board, for a busy top tier celebrity. His username was “sailor” although there were always whispers about his other secret accounts that he used for trolling. So he basically invented trolling, too. The community itself was close, there were always local meetups and many members would travel internationally to see their closest bnet friends, eventually including myself. I joined this community when I was still in high school and 17 years later I am still close to the friends I made back then. These people are my family, and they vary from all nations, all walks of life, all classes, all ages... The first time I met any of them was at my first ever Bowie concert and that itself was a bnet members-only show to launch the Reality tour, which was eventually known as his last tour. This pivotal moment in my life occurred on August 19th 2003 at the The Chance Theater in Poughkeepsie NY. It was a small general admission venue, arguably a dive compared to the arenas he would play on the rest of the Reality tour. I was 18 years old and was in the process of moving to Chicago for art school. It was surreal to be seeing my first Bowie concert in a GA venue, and yet I knew 80% of the audience. David Bowie himself knew 100% of the audience, and you can hear him speaking to specific people in the bootlegs. I knew more people in the audience than I knew in my high school of 60 kids. A bunch of us were waiting at the venue early enough to catch him coming out to say hello while they were doing soundcheck. I didn’t get anything signed because all the members he knew by name were up in the very front of the group, as it should be. But I could still observe him from afar. He was dressed simply in a crisp white tshirt and white jeans, so the bright summer sunshine gave him a literally radiant, angelic glow. I’ll never forget his slinky catlike walk, and I’ve since never witnessed a creature with more grace.

Lessons I learned from Him

Freakflag began when my last salon closed, suddenly, due to #Austinproblems. As a fantasy color specialist, what I do is so specialized that not many places are going to do it well. The most stable environment for it, on short notice, is a mini salon.  As a hairstylist, this makes sense.  As an artist, this was (still is) terrifying.  I have literally painted myself into a corner where I am my own microcosm, a terrarium of rare creatures emerging covered in sunset locks and lavender hairdust...  None of this would have been possible without David Bowie. I very sincerely celebrate him as a god of my profession. For I am a witch and my profession is transformation magic. In many ways it is the magic of one’s true form, their true Identity. For example, I have many transgender clients who visit me in the early stages of their personal transformation. Sometimes they know what they want but a lot of times they don’t. I accept this task with great reverence for the importance of what I’m being asked to do. If they are not completely comfortable with the hair I’ve given them, it’s more than “a bad haircut will grow out if you don’t like it” - it can shape their confidence and that shapes the way people treat them. David Bowie is the Patron Saint of No Labels & Don’t Tell Me What To Do. The Patron Saint of the Gender Fluid & the Non-Binary. His iconic Ziggy Stardust mullet is the perfect example as to why I don’t attribute gender to my haircuts. Tell me, is a Ziggy mullet a men’s haircut or a women’s haircut? The answer is Yes. He taught me you can walk around with no eyebrows, a pale skeletal alien, and still feel your oats. It doesn’t matter if people “get it” because you “get it.” And you are the only person that really needs to “get it.” This is the lesson of aesthetic integrity. He taught me the importance of artistic integrity. At times he was a starving artist that created beautiful, profound things that no one quite understood or appreciated. But eventually he had a period of being a sellout that pandered to the crowd; it made him so sick of China Girl that he didn’t play it live for years after. I think it’s the period after this, from the 90s onward, where he found his true creative power. He knew he could achieve either end of the spectrum and balanced on that line thereafter. Blackstar being his best achievement in this regard. He taught me you can find your truest love later in life. Many goths say they aspire to a love like Morticia & Gomez, but I aspire to a love like Iman & David. Theirs is a real life love story that endured, and it didn’t happen overnight, she made him work for it! This is the big one... He saved me from flirting with suicide. I could write a lot about this too but I won’t right now. Here are the broadest strokes: As a sensitive, emotionally neglected, eccentric teenager I listened to a lot of angry music; Punk, Goth, Industrial, etc. The summer of age 16 was a tough one, I had been kicked out of one parent’s house and the other one completely left me to my own devices... So when I began flirting with self harm, the only person that noticed and snapped me out of it was a close school friend whom I will always consider a brother. This was about the time I discovered Bowie’s glamorous Ziggy era and it was the first thing that showed me “Truth, Goodness & Beauty” in my darkest hour. He showed me that being a great artist took time to cultivate your skills and not only would suicide mean I was achieving nothing, but self harm was a weakness that would eventually fester and I had to nip it in the bud. Bowie’s brother suffered from schizophrenia and eventually committed suicide so many of his works touch on the theme of your own worst enemy coming from within. A lot of goth music discusses it too, warning against rather than encouraging, but no one can make something relatable quite like Bowie. (For the record, a lot of that angry music is still my favorite! It has its place in the world) A lot of rock stars drank and drugged their way into an early grave but David Bowie was the one that survived and still managed to stay artistically and culturally relevant in the end. This is the main reason I celebrate him as a role model and a god amongst men. If he survived the 70s, made a clear decision to sober up, and could maintain sobriety throughout the 80s, he could achieve anything.

“Just a mortal with the potential of a superman” David Bowie, Quicksand

How I celebrate Him

For the last four years, I’ve been a DJ at Elysium’s New Year’s Eve party, a Labyrinth-themed Goblin King’s ball. And for the last three, I’ve co-hosted as Jareth himself... which means I’ve achieved my childhood dream of wanting to be Jareth with that fabulous hair and bedazzled tailcoat! This prepares me perfectly for celebrating his life a week later. There are a few “Bowie Weekend” events here in town. Drinks Lounge always has a Bowie Birthday Bash and Elysium usually has an 80’s night tribute or some other event in his honor. Then on the day itself I will take the time to clean my Bowie Shrine and think about all the times he helped me get out of a bad place in my life. Here you can see Instagram highlights of my Bowie Shrine. A few months ago, I got to work on a truly special project that is still super secret. But I can say that it involved recreating a famous David Bowie image and it was a great honor to be asked to do the makeup and hairstyling for this. It took all day, longer than expected, and we got about 300 shots... This weekend we got together again to edit them and in the end only 3 shots were picked. I can only imagine the process for the original shoot! I thought I was just invited along to edit because I was a Bowie nerd that wanted to be there and was ridiculously stoked on this project. But I was grateful to witness us work together as group on this tribute in its entirety, the three of us are perfectionists and we all had high standards but we also had methods of editing our standards for the sake of being practical. Unlike the shoot itself, this time a lot of discussion was had on the different elements that composed the original image and all three of us paid great attention to those details in the recreation. None of us expect to profit from it, this was hours of work that we each volunteered out of love of the art form, and reverence for David Bowie himself. The role I played in this image is a minor one compared to the other two people involved, but I am so terribly proud of us. I think He would be, too. Since I can’t post that image, I will instead leave you with my Aladdin Sane selfie tribute from this weekend:

★

[l-l-kristofferson]

Characters I Relate To

In the real world, there are few I can relate to. There's only a couple I can really identify with that I've met in person and have talked to on a regular basis. When it comes to the digital world, there are countless people I can relate to. I'm going to discuss today. For those who are not familiar with video games, manga, or cartoons, I will name the characters and their shows. If they sound cool, give the show a watch or the game some play. There's a reason I relate to them.

1. Roxas (Kingdom Hearts II/Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days)

Roxas is a regular kid in the Kingdom Hearts II game. Come to realize, he is something called a Nobody, pieces or memories of a real person that were given their own will. Nobodies have no hearts and are seen as expendable. In 358/2 Days, it is a retrace of Roxas' consciousness in the infamous Organization XIII. Day seven was the first day he came into himself, speaking and actually engaging with the other nobodies over time. But by the end of it, he had to destroy someone who was also apart of him.

I relate to Roxas due to the struggle of finding a purpose. Some days, I feel like I don't belong. Even when I am with friends or family, I still feel lost in a sea of bodies. I was talking to a friend earlier and said how I felt this way. How one place was home for a while, just for it to be gone as quickly as it came. Like Roxas, I was drifting among other countless "nobodies", struggling to find my heart and who I was meant to be. I feel that I share a life with someone who is not me. That I hold and bear memories that are not mine. But in a way, this displacement of memory and time is my own and not my own. It is my own because it is real and in my mind. Not mine because I don't remember exactly where or what these things were. In this way, I am who I say I am. My friends and family are fragments of me. They make up memories, hearts, and time I have lived and experienced for myself. They ground me from drifting in the sea of Nobodies. I thank everyone for being the memories and the gravity that holds me down.

2. Dixie (Re-Gifters)

Okay, so this isn't a cartoon or video game. This is actually a character from one of my favorite graphic novels. It's the story of Jen Dik Seong, or Dixie. She is a lower middle class Korean American girl that has few friends. She is dedicated to the martial art Hapkido and her family, her father, mother, and twin brothers.

The graphic novel itself revolves around the adolescent struggle of love, acceptance, self, and direction. This graphic novel left a lasting impression on me. So much so that I remembered it and used it as material for my Senior thesis paper. I relate to Dixie because of her struggles. In finding love, it is never easy. When you feel you have found the one, they don't feel the same about you. In acceptance, it's hard to feel and be yourself when everyone has such high expectations for you. Any slight thing out of place and you are the shame of your family.

In self, it is always hard to tell which self to be. For my family, I have to be an edited version of my actual self. I'm usually silly, dorky, out and proud, and affectionate. I can't be as open and honest because not everyone is comfortable with my true self. Yes, my family accepts me as a whole, but only for some of the separate parts (more so for my dad than my mom). I still struggle to be who I truly am at times. But it is not going to prevent me from being that self. In direction, it is hard to know the right way. I expected my path to be similar to that of my mother's or others in my family. But it isn't. This path is truly my own, seeing as I've endured much differently due to my experience. The compass for a normal path doesn't exactly direct me. It is always unpredictable. But I would not trade it for anything.

3. Sora (Digimon)

Sora was my favorite character from Digimon aside from T.K.. But I relate more to Sora than any other character. Sora was the tomboy of the group (and I admit that she was pretty). She was the rough and tough girl of the group, always doing all to protect her friends.

When it was time to get their crests, Sora's crest was the Crest of Love. In her episode, it dealt with her fears of feeling she was incapable of love. There was a time, when I was deep in my depression and pain, that I felt I wasn't deserving of love. I felt like a burden to my mom because I was being so difficult for not being as she wanted me to be. Sora was a soccer player and her mother wanted her to stop doing it to help manage her mother's flower shop. It reminded me of the relationship I once had with my mother. We were always spatting and having disagreements. There were times where it became a shouting match between us. I admit it that I used to fear my mother and her judgment. I still feel that I seek her approval at times but she has allowed me to come into my own and blossom into the person I am. I thank her for that and I love her for that.

4. Ulrich Stern (Code Lyoko)

Ulrich was one of the main protagonists in the show. He was a star soccer player, skilled martial artist, but not the best in school. Ulrich struggled to make friends and tried to get his father's approval. He also sought to get the attention of another protagonist, Yumi Ishiyama. All in all, a normal teenage boy.

Like Sora from Digimon, Ulrich struggled with love from his family and at times, with those around them. I relate to Ulrich because he was also a star child. Because my brother didn't meet expectations growing up, it fell on me to fill them. I didn't party, I didn't drink, I didn't mess around, I didn't get in trouble, and I kept my head in a book. I got the grades and the GPA. I was the smart "golden" child. So when my sexuality wrecked the mold I was fixed into, it was seen as out of character. Like Ulrich did, I took a stand against those who tried to fit me into a mold. I'm proud I was led to that decision. Because I'm a happier person for it.

5. Raven (Teen Titans)

Raven was the dark and broody character from the original Teen Titans series that ran from 2003 to 2006. She had a troubled past and a hard time relating to those around her. When she did let her guard down, there was a side of her that few got to see. Though she didn't always show it, she cared deeply for those around her and wanted to protect them. She was even willing to be the martyr in order to save them.

Raven was me as a teenager: dark, broody, moody, and very mysterious. Aside from my friends, not many people knew about me. They knew of me but not the details. I had the label of the school homo and said I would target any girl to "force myself on". I trusted very little and kept to myself. I would try to escape the crowd either in the library or the counselor's office. It didn't always work so I socialized with people I knew and those I trusted. At home, I was always in my room. I listened to music and tried to drown out my problems. I was that gothic/emo kid. But like Raven, I came out of my shell. I learned to trust and grow with the right people. If you chose to grow in the wrong soil, you are bound to be weak at the bottom and destined to fall. But I have grown with a mixed blend and it has made me strong.

6. Satilizer el Bridget (Freezing)

Satilizer is the main female protagonist in the anime Freezing. She is the best female fighter and is known as the Untouchable Queen. Not only because no one can touch her in a fight but also that no one could touch her in general. Every female fighter that has stigmata��had a limiter, which is a partner that assists them in battles. Satilizer didn't have a limiter and refused to have one. But that was until Kazuya Aoi came to West Genetics Academy. He was the first person to EVER touch the Untouchable Queen. When he did, she became nervous and shy, something no one has ever seen from Satilizer. Her history is muddied by a lot. But she feels that the Baptism ritual between female fighters and their limiters is dirty. Kazuya is the only person who could fight with her without a Baptism ritual being performed first. By the end, they become inseparable.

From personal experience, I feel very connected to Satilizer. At first glance, not many people would come and hang out with a dorky, loud, and gay Puertoricenio. I'm very different from most people. I can be easily triggered at times (PTSD) and not want to be around many people when I am. But my close friend (I'm not saying her name, it's the same girl as before) is like Kazuya. She's seen sides of me that not many other people have. She's seen, experienced, and has known the depth and extent of how I love. I can be sensitive and she knows how to handle it in her own unique way. She's always there, trying to reach me, even when I don't want to be reached. She's part of the gravity that keeps me down. I'm thankful for her and she's been sticking with me the past four years. It means a lot when you have someone stick around you for a long time.

Quick update for you guys. I now have a new email address for me to interact with you guys. It is also my business email for writing pieces. If you want to get that email, DM me here.

Also, I am looking for the person known as Oakley Flores. I saw your Kik message but it would not let me accept it. Please message me again if you'd like to talk. I apologize for the delay. Thank you for your readership. It is very heartwarming.

Thirdly, if you would like to get in touch with me, I will list my social media handles for you guys.

Instagram: lame_dude_20 (Picture of Roxas as the profile picture)

Kik: kingsebastianisdead (Picture of Ventus as the profile picture. Username is The Roxas Joker)

Thanks for listening. Write again soon.

[askguyslikeus]

oh shit yall send lots of questions hoo nelly answering almost all of them under the cut ,,, im gunan try and answer more technical ones first then fun ones and ones about the mod later so u dont gotta scroll all the way to the bottom for the good deets

Hi! I'm still kinda new to the blog and I was wondering what are the 'do and do-not' kind question I should do? Because im sure theres always that one ask thats just Innapropiated, like that one of Michael 'taking advantage og high Jeremy' that was just not cool.  i got this ask a lot so ill be clear with yall. im just not a big angst fan? so sending michael asks about his anxiety nonstop and about how he had a panic attack in the bathroom over and over again wasnt that fun. usually if it pertains the musical though you should be find sending an ask about it? but sometimes i get asks that are like “jeremy ur nothing and how does it feel knowing u fucked everything up” like homie how i think its feels? how u think hes gunna react to that? i made this blog to negate a lot of negativity in my own life so i can promise u im going to be answering asks mostly positive always forever. that being said tho i sometimes get asks pertaining to a few things that ive dealt with in the past and these topics make me very very uncomfortable. dont send asks about these topics please. this is the no no list

-self harm, cancer, suicide, rape, parent death, car accidents, sudden death.

What was your inspiration for this blog? hoo boy well,,, ultimately i thought of them rooming together and got emotional and made a huge list of headcanons and was like ,,, why not run an askblog for a bit ill just abandon it after three asks lets have some fun. but somehow im still here and i got sucked in by the complexity of michael and jeremy. i know that sounds kinda silly but just, as someone who is dealing with a lot of similar things, like dependency issues and abandonment issues and depression and anxiety, having these fun functioning character to explore was such a gift for me. i believe honestly thats why im still here and doing this. being able to try and portray a healthy relationship and a healthy way of coping and growing has helped me a lot this past month and given me an outlet i didnt have before. TBH THO the main reason i made this blog if imma be real with u guys id because i didnt like the treatment of a lot of these issues in the fandom. it made me very upset to see depression used as an plot device and michaels dependency issues treated as romantic so i wanted to make a blog that had little to no angst. ANYWAYS somehow im still here ,,, gvrkjvrnkjfd sorry i rambled

honestly I just wanna say first that I love his blog and your art and you're so cool and kind!! a question would be (I'm not sure if you've answered this before or not) but is there like an on going story here, or is it mostly just answering questions with the characters set in this universe? (if that makes sense I'm sorry!) thank you, you're super awesome! ❤️  djrnjg first off thank u so much aaaa,, ive kind of answered this before but its ok its been a while since then! but um i do kinda have a story but how howdy i sure am dragging my feet. the story isn a hUGE OVERARCHING EPIC OF WOE AND THIS PERSON IS UPSET AND THIS PERSON IS MAD AT THIS PERSON its just michael and jeremy getting together. i have a plan and ive talked to a few people on how i want it to happen but ive gained like ,,,, 6,000 followers since then and im kinda nervous BUT ILL DO MY BEST but also please understand that i do this for fun for myself and if i dont get to it im so so so sorry woops

i know this has been said before but i'm really really happy w how you're handling so many aspects of their characters. i.e. michael being trans, michael and jeremy's anxiety, michael's dependency issues, and other stuff i'm too tired to think of. you made the characters have even more depth than they did in the play and i'm rly grateful for the way you're dealing w my favorite boys. (also your richjake is suuuper adorable) ahhhhhh thank u so much? i talked a bit about this on my main but im really glad people are happy with my decision on this blog because im suPER SUPER NERvous anytime i post an ask dealing with these things. (ask hachi or nate i always message them like freaking out and send them my scripts and asks and wait for them to tell me its ok before i post it omg) also like i talked about before i love,,, having these fun stoner gamer boys to explore these issues with. im honestly shocked by how many people also deal with dependency issues because when i first listened to the musical i was so overwhlemed by the song michael int he bathroom because i had never heard someone basically write “dependency issue: the song” and it felt so so so good to realize i wasnt alone in this pit of despair i fall into so easily aha. but im!! glad everyone is ok with this wild ride im on right now (also thank u so much i struggle writing rich and jake but i get so emotional cause they would TOTES call each other babe)

how come you just use sketch form for most of your drawing (sketches and uses sketch for the final result)? im ,,, not really sure what this is asking but i thnk its along the lines of why do i only sketch my answers?? and i do that because dude do u see how often i post and how lONG some of them are. i made this blog for fun and i love doing comics but i hate lineart and coloring and if i tried to churn out finished pics for every post id defs have given up a few asks in,, shrugs

I want to say I love your little comics they're so funny! How long does it take you to make a comic? Are any of them based on your experiences? Ok have a nice day!  thank you! i love my little comics too! it usually takes me anywhere from an hour to five hours if im dragging my ass or talking on discord while im drawing. it can be kinda exhausting but since i took my break ive also been like, starting long comics one day and finishing them another day which, before i would do it all in one sitting then post it hahha. AS FOR EXPERIENCE the first half of the lifeguard comic was based on real life! we were stuck stoned up there for like an hour or two? but we didnt have anyone to help us but we got down eventually!! the wendys comic is also something i did because man!! i need to compliment food workers if they do a good job!! ummmmm just like jenna i also have a friend that said HAHA BYE and moved to cali and she is also lIVING IT UP and doing really well for herself and shes very independent and shes very inspiring to me! hmm i think thats it besides i used to have movie nights with my dad all the time too except we would watch my fave animated movies and sometimes lord of the rings cause my dad loved that

What kinds of things can we NOT ask ? What kinds of things do you WANT us to ask ? i covered the what not to ask in the first question so!!! um if my askbox is open and u want to respond to previous asks ive answered for the boys that would be so so so rad. sometimes im done with a certain ask and i have nothing to add but sometimes ive got more to say but am looking for an opportunity! that being said it made me really happy that i got a lot of asks about pj? shes not going to the main focus of any more asks but!!! i was nervous to introduce her and im glad u guys like her shes fun to write. but overall just general asks i can make a big ol fun story out of so!! dont worry too much about what to ask, if its something ud ask a real person and not like “lol what if ur dad died” ur gunna be fine probably

Hi! Not a question but your blog is so sweet and refreshing! I actually really appreciate that you refuse angst, that stuff tends to rub me the wrong way in fandoms... Keep taking good care of these boys ! gggg thank u!!! it means a lot to me that a lot of people are backing me up on this! i mean if u are an angst fan there are a lot of askblogs that explore that!! so its not in short supply bmc askblog fandoms got something for everyone

Which drawing program do you use?? i use paint tool sai and my tablet is a cintiq !!

this isn't really related to the faq but that bakunawa boy reference was great I LOVE THAT FIC MAN!!! the line was originally a little diff in that ask but i changed it cause ,,,, i could,,,,

an art style question. how do you keep the design of characters consistent from frame to frame? my characters they look a lil different every time I draw em (or a lot different) and it tends to disrupt the flow of my comics/animations ohh boy hoo wee props for doing animations im too scared to give that a whirl but!! it helps that i draw all the panels for an ask on one canvas! so if my next panel is going to be the same character in the same spot just in a diff pose i keep the lower layer on just at low opacity so i can use it as a ref! that helps me a lot!

Sorry if I'm nosy or rude, but are you reflecting Micheal Anxiety, Panic attacks and depence? iii think this is asking if i reflect my own issues onto them boys? and if so then yes i do. i dont place any of my own personality or anything on the boys but i do use them as a way to help me learn how to cope with my own shit and i try to deal with their issues in the healthiest way possible while also keeping in mind they are flawed individuals aaa

what are your pronouns??? and maybe your main blog??  im a cis girl so she/her is good! and my main is squigglegigs! also that being said IF YOU SEE THE USERNAME SQUIGGLEGIGS ANYWHERE JUST?? ASSUME ITS ME?? i have a twitter and an instagram and my tumblr account 

((Hello mod will Michael and Jeremy eventually someday get together. I love them.)) if all goes according to plan yes! if i get overwhelmed and stop having fun on this blog then no! sorry thems the breaks but! i do want them to get together so HOPEFULLY

going off on that confrience on pornogrefy for birds, Im geussing jeremy has played Hatoful Boyfriend. am I wrong? well it wasnt intended as that ref and i dont know anything about hatoful boyfriend but i can see jerm finding it and playing it so, sure homie! the pornography for birds thing is a my brother my brother and me reference! i love that show and them boys so give it a scope!

I'm crying bcuz Michael said he's in love with Jeremy and it's beautiful yeah that boy is DEEP IN love with his bro bro

Any advice for running an ask blog?? (Ps i love this blog keep it up) personally whats worked for me so far is doing just sketches for art. honestly ive been able to work so much more and post so much more often while also trying to work on my expressions and poses! also taking my own experiences and shaping them to fit the characters has been SO MUCH FUN. th most important thing tho is,,, dont overwork urself dude. if ur having a fun time it shows. if ur just forcing urself to churn out material and its not fun? like shit we doing this for free dont push urself? idk idk overall being looser with my art and writing the dialogue before hand has been the most helpful for me for this askblog! ive run a bunch before including @ask-maz and ive run that sporadically for ,, three or four years? its so funny cause u can see my art style juMP AROUND SO MUCH but i love that blog and i only update it like every other month or so but?? i still like doing it and no on likes those posts but it makes me smile so ANYWAYS

~ok from here on its mostly just me replying to nice messages or people asking me personal questions that dont pertain to askguyslikeus so!!~

I just wanted to say I really really love your blog and just your art in general!! Keep up the good work and hope you're having fun! thank u!!! i am having fun and im glad u enjoy it!!

What other musicals do you like? :0  i really like heathers A LOT. i also like doctor horrible i know thats not technically a musical but i just relistened to it and im emotional. i like dear evan hansen but it makes me really sad so i can only take it in moderation! ummm rent? chicago?? music man? now im just naming musicals i was in rip. being in a musical fandom is a new thing to me? i was really into heathers last year but didnt really interract with the fandom at SO THIS IS SUPER NEW?? ive never been into a musical as much as im into bmc and heathers tho

tell us a little bit about urself!! u seem v cool i am squigs or fork!! im 24 and work fulltime as a barista at starbucks! i get high on the beach with my friend gwen a lot and drink wayy to many slushies, my tv shows are brooklyn nine nine and bobs burgers right now! i table at conventions sometimes and sell my art as merch and whatnot and i cosplay as a hobby as well. im pretty boring but i draw a lot and always carry my big sketchbook with me and im pretty sure its given me back issues BUT OH WELL HAHA also i am very not cool THE TRUTH COMES OUT

Who do you most relate to from bmc and why? like ,,, a mix of michael and christine with a sprinkle of jeremy i guess ahaha i relate to michaels dependency issues and overarching positive attitude and love of music, i relate to christines bright disposition and the need to not stick to one set thing? like she loves theater cause she can be sO MANY PEOPLE and like same homie thats why i cosplay. and jeremys need to be likes while also ability to put himself out there is very relatable. i also identify strongly with his dad issues idk idk whats good

Also -- just thank you for how you handled all the panic attack and anxiety attack asks. I used to deal with anxiety attacks multiple times a day and it just was really nice that it was positive and not them having one. Thank you, sincerely. ahhhhhh ur so welcome i,,, have anxiety and it sucks and i deal with panic attacks like everyday at work so i dont really wanna come home and draw someone having one i guess? im glad its helping other people too tho!

Dude- I love your art? Actually so much? It's... I love it. The whole sketch-ish way your art style is, and the way you color, and the expressions! I'm so glad I found your work - you've given me so much inspiration. Keep doin what you're doin and I hope you have a good day! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ANytime any one compliments my expressions i die cause i legit made this blog to help with that as well ,,, like dam

im lvoe ur art style b o i :0 !!!!!!

Mod, I love you so much I love you you have my soul and my love and my eternal gratitude thank you and I love you (This is the guy who was excited about PJ on your ig live stream a while ago and I love you) !!!!!!!!! im so happy u like my content omg and that u like pj im so glad!! shes a good bean

I just wanna say... I'm crying over that post about Michael and his anxiety? cuz I know how it can feel that you're only your flaws and weaknesses, but Michael just tells that to screw off in the most wonderful way and I'm?? thank you so much for that post, I bookmarked it for future times when I can't look past my depression... honestly, that post made my day (along with every other post on this blog), thank you for being such a lovely part of this fandom ,,,, im,,,, im scared of a lot of this fandom tbh but if i can be something good that come out of it and my love of these boys and desire to show them functioning together in a healthy way can help other people its so much more than i ever thought id ever be able to do. i am blown away everyday by the support ive been given on this blog and i might be crying right now because i never thought id be able to touch other people like this and i just. im really glad yall are here with me for all this.

(To the mod: You are a beautiful person that I highly respect. I love this blog and what you set out to do. thanks for giving something that makes me smile and gives me something to look forward to everyday, keep up the good work! ❤ ) hey im still crying from the previous ask aaaaa im honestly so emotional

what are ur true feelings for wendy's??? i fucking love wendys man thats some top tier fast food right there

what fast food restaurant do you think has the best nuggets WENDYS HANDS DOWN

do you have a favorite movie? paranorman makes me very nostalgic and ive seen it like eighty times and used to watch it with my dad a lot and i love it

I would just like you to know that your Wendy's comic prompted me to pull the same thing with a bakery in the town I'm visiting and the baker got so excited and happy, so thank you for making that comic because I made that woman's day. GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE COMPLIMENT ME WHEN IM WORKING DUDE LIKE IM SO GLAD IT MADE U DO THIS!!! IM SMILING REALLY BIG!!

chocolate milk or strawberry milk? or plain? woops i hate milk im so sorry

do u love michael mell with all of ur heart, mod?  i really truly do man what a fucking good ass character

hi squigs i love you! i love your content too and i hope u have a good day pal :>  WHAT A SWEET BEAN!!! THANK YOU?? OMG

I'm just saying that recent ask you did with Michael really hit me hard because I really related to it and I started crying because it made me realize that I've been pining my self worth on everything my anxiety causes and I'm so much more than that. Thank you, so much for that I really needed it because I'm in a really bad place right now. <3 -for the mod i legit cry everytime i get asks or dms like this cause once again the idea that im helping other people is so ovwehelming i love you??? i let myself just be”depressed” for ahwile and by that i mean i just,, let my sadness consume me and i was scared of getting better cause the sadness was all i knew for so long and just. its so easy to think u are ur illness but you are so much more. soooo much more man.

I relate A Lot to Michael so the way you portray him in the blog is really good, and I think it's really awesome you refuse to like?? do terrible stuff and answer bad questions just bc people wanna see that. You run this blog really well 👌  AHHHH THis is the biggest compliment thank u so much ,,, i get real anxious bout this blog soemtiems but then yall send me sweet things like this and its worth it man

Hey mod, just know you're a really cool person. Thanks for running this blog in the first place. Keep doing the great work.  thank you!!!! for ur support!!!! 

not really a question!! i just wanted to say your posts on this blog always brighten my day and you're really an incredible artist and person, keep rockin on my dude!! *clutching my heart* the fuck this is so sweet

1 .I just wanted to say your blog is really awesome! It's very lovely. I also like how you made michael trans and like handled it? (just with how all the characters treat him and stuff its v nice). Your art is super duper! Thanks for running this awesome blog! 2. Hey! This isn't a question but I wanted to say that I appreciate michael being trans!! As a trans boy it's just rly awesome to see something like that casually thrown into an ask blog without making it a huge weird deal :D immm,,, i kinda really love the idea of michael being trans cause a lot of my trans male friends are actually pretty confident in their skin and michael is a very confident character? and u rarely see that with trans representation and its so refreshing to see it portrayed well. im trying to do that here but again if! i do anything wrong let me know!

how did you first get into art? (also i really love your blog, it's amazing!) ive been drawing as long as i remember! ive got mad adhd and wasnt diagnosed until late in ym life so i would just draw nonstop in my classes ahaha i used to read the sunday comics a lot and they really inspired me to try and make comics of my own too!! (and omg thank u) 

someone also asked me if i went to church or was religious but tumblr ate the ask but i used to go to church a lot as a kid but im currently not religious at all aaa

ok holy shit that was a lot but thanks again to everyone i legit cry a lot about how supportive u all are thank u so much aaaa

[pussycat-scribbles]

Answers abound!

Ahh reading through all of my messages was dlfkjsdf I’m so grateful when people take the time to send me something! 

I’ve answered an absolute ton privately, and I’ve made the executive decision not to include messages here unless there’s a direct question involved, but I do read every single thing that arrives in my inbox and I am so incredibly grateful for your words of encouragement. I love hearing that a piece of artwork has made you smile, or that you saw something that reminded you of me, or you’ve been inspired to start your own art journey because of me - or just that you enjoy my gifs! 

I’m sorry not to acknowledge all of these wonderful messages individually but they really, truly always brighten my day when I get them

If you’ve sent me something that you really would like a response to and it isn’t here, please do send it again!

I’m delighted you’ve been inspired to draw again! With regards to your tablet, be sure to check that you’re using the latest tablet driver - they can be really tricksy things so reinstalling your tablet with a driver downloaded direct from the source might help. And as with anything, practice really is the only way to get better! Personally I’m currently using a Wacom Intuos Pro Small, but in the past I’ve used Wacom bamboos and other tablets by the same brand. I’ve never had a problem with any of their products, but have yet to try the cintiq line. 

For actual drawing I mostly use Photoshop CS6, but I’m slowly learning Clip Studio Paint (which is really good!). I usually use the default brushes for most things like lining and colouring, and fiddle with opacity settings as necessary. For inking specifically I like to use the hard round opacity brush at 75% opacity with shape dynamics turned on. I occasionally use custom brushes I’ve collected over the years, for stuff like clouds and the odd bit of texture, but not very often.

Unfortunately publishing is just one of those very competitive industries where people tend to stick around once they’re in! I was lucky enough to land a graduate trainee position (what my company was calling their internship programme in ye olden days of 2011/2012) not long after I left university, and I’ve stayed there ever since! The best thing you can do is network with industry people - follow them on social media, attend open industry events, get to know who works where if you can. It’s difficult to give advice without knowing your particular circumstances, but don’t give up! Best of luck :)

Oh ho ho it pleases me immensely that people are enthusiastic about this AU! Sorry for the radio silence about it, but @notallballs and I have both been super busy with other things. Oikawa and his *cough* magical plant adventure with Iwa have been put on the backburner a bit, but Bees and I talk about it regularly and it is definitely not forgotten. There might be a little bit more of a wait, but we’ll get around to it in good time, don’t you worry!

I love fantasy and science fiction! Although I have a slight preference for fantasy, I think. I read a lot for escapism, and I don’t particularly have any interest in mainstream fiction or more literary stuff, but I’ll occasionally dabble in crime. I love too may authors to name, but favourites include Terry Pratchett, Brandon Sanderson, Ben Aaronovitch and C.S. Pacat.

If you’re new to art or trying to get back into it: just go for it. Don’t stress about being bad or rusty to begin with - everyone has to be bad at something before they can be good at it! And use the tools that you can easily access/afford. Worry about upgrading later when you’re comfortable with what you’re doing! The best resource for tutorials and art advice is youtube and devianart (although I use the former more these days). Look up things like speedpaints and follow tons of artists and see if they’ve got any tip/tutorial videos! And the main piece of advice I can give is to practice, practice, practice. That’s the only real way to improve at anything. Draw as regularly as you can manage, and draw from life to build a solid foundation before you start bending rules! 

Good luck!

I was using the lasso tool to select part of the canvas! I use it in the way you’ve described here and to select parts of the drawing to move around and transform if they need resizing etc. It’s a fundamental part of digital drawing, so if you’re getting into it you’ll learn how to do that kind of thing pretty quickly!

Pray.

Thank you very much! This is a really tricky thing to answer because it’s often not a conscious decision? I know my colour theory and warms and cools and which colours go well together, but explaining my actual thought process behind why I use the colours I do is…another matter. There are colour palettes I’m more drawn towards - I love blues and purples! - but a lot of the time I’m drawing fanart of characters who already have established colours so I start with their canon colour scheme as a base and use hue + saturation tools to adjust to my tastes/whatever the mood of the piece is. 

I have every intention of finishing that picture! I think when I started working on it last Christmas it was a bit too ambitious for me, but in the last few months I’ve started working on much more elaborate/extensive pieces of artwork and feel a bit more confident tackling a piece with so many characters. It might be a case that I start over entirely, but I fully intend to draw the full seijou mermaid squad together one day!

Use references! Photos are great, as is your own body, but drawing other people in real life situations is the best thing for improving at anatomy. I don’t use refs nearly as much as I should for my regular art, but I rarely go into my smut artwork without at least a ref or two to work from. 

I’ve been drawing for as long as I can remember, but I’ve been drawing “seriously” - and by “seriously” I mean I’ve drawn regularly and with intent to improve - for nearly 15 years now. I’ve been posting my artwork online since late 2004! I keep a progress meme here if anyone is interested, although I haven’t updated it for a couple of years. I should really do that!

I do indeed have an instagram account, but I don’t use it as often as I should. It’s more of an afterthought at the moment, but I want to get better! My username is emily_fay_

AND THAT IS THAT, FOLKS. I deleted so many messages I would have loved to acknowledge directly but it just isn’t feasible. My inbox is cleared out now so your ask response service should resume as normal! Please do keep messaging me

Thanks for reading if you made it this far!

[queerofcups]

why do u think tumblr is trash for fandom? not that i disagree lol, i've just never noticed u talking about it and would be interested in hearing your thoughts

 terrible for fanfic writers - i’m biased obviously but tumblr is a really terrible format for any kind of text based art. 

formatting - theme fonts are really variable and i’ve seen countless writers blogs (usually younger/newer writers who need the attention) with fics that I won’t read because I *can’t* read them. 

getting people to read your fic - Also, if you’re posting to tumblr only and not to the Ao3 (which I totally understand especially for drabbles) there’s a strong chance only your followers will see those as opposed to posting in a community where, if its a central fandom comm you’ll probably get decent traffic from folks who’ve never heard of you. and if you want more people to see something you have to keep reblogging it because it gets pushed down by your other blogging because you can’t have pinned posts (which is way easier than creating a separate masterlist page). also tags work like 60% of the time

feedback - if you get feedback on fic on tumblr its either a. a reply that you may or may not be able to reply to easily depending on if tumblr/xkit is freaking out or b. in a reblog that you then have to reblog to reply to cluttering your/your followers dash further

 terrible for building community

If I go to someone’s tumblr and they don’t have an intricate tagging system, chances are pretty good I don’t know shit about them other than their name/age/maybe pronouns. Y’all don’t know shit about me as an actual person unless you happen to catch the one post or hell, the one tag where I talk about being from the American southeast or the weirdness of planning a wedding while feminist, or how I’m working up to weightlifting. Meanwhile, I have a friend that I friended in 2007/8 when I was in bandom who just graduated with her PhD! She was just starting her program when we met. She also just proposed to her boyfriend whom she’d just met when I started following her. I know her, as a person, not just a fic producing machine.

Which brings me to my next point. Tumblr’s great for being a lil bitch without accountability. Don’t get me wrong. Wank is as old as fandom. Where there is fandom there will be wank, bet on that. And its not like the journal-based websites and forums didn’t often have an anonymous function. But anon hate on tumblr is so normalized and so easy-- you don’t even have to log out to ask a question on anonymous on my blog! And even if you aren’t leaving hate. I talk to 2.5 people regularly via tumblr chat regularly. I think of them as my friends. I know their names. They know mine. They call me by my name. You could be the same anon that’s asked me an anon question since I started this blog. We could be well on our way to fandom besties and I would have no idea. To be a lurker on tumblr is to be anonymous, whereas to be a lurker on your livejournals and dreamwidths still came with some name recognition. 

Also tumblr is great for BNFs. Which like. Whatever, I don’t think there’s any one unifying quality I can place on everyone who’s The Most Popular in a fandom (...and I’m not sharing my phandom bnf opinions with an anon) but I do think that tumblr makes it feel like you either have many thousand followers and a constant stream of anons or you’re Nothing and that’s some ol’ bullshit. 

Livejournal and Dreamwidth (the ones I’m most familiar with) had community functions where one person created a blog to which lots of people could submit fanworks. The bandom one I was most familiar with was called bandslashmania (go check it out!), there was minimal modding and it was on you to post your fic, post it with the correct formatting, tag it so people could find it later, etc. And it was a hub that everyone could go to. It could be your daily stop, congrats now you have a selection of the fic that got posted that day. And if you miss a day, or you read a fic and want to go back to it weeks (or even years) later, you can just go to the tag. I’m having very strong feelings about how much fic we’re going to lose because of fucking tumblr (seriously. post your shit to Ao3. Also if you have a favorite fic? C/p that shit and save it to your computer. That’s the only way to (sort of) guarentee you’ll always have it) and the fact that you can accidentally delete your blog.

You ever made friends in the replies or reblogs of a tumblr post? If you did you’re a rarity. That shit happened every day in forum/journal based 

And I love IDB, I think its a really cool space to have more extended conversations, but I still don’t think its a great place to get to know people unless you have time to be really active on there and pay a lot of attention to peoples usernames, lol.

This is. A delicate one. I’m not going to shit on the tumblr’s contributions to people’s growth in awareness of social justice and the experiences of marginalized folks. Its been a really integral piece to amplifying the voices and communities of people who, previously, would have been shut down and made to talk about their issues only on their blog. That’s a statement. And I think tumblr likes to get on a high horse. There’s some shit fandom does that I have real problems with (the fact that I have to block extreme underage on Ao3 is A Problem for me. The blatant racism of who fandom chooses to write about over and over again is A Problem for me. I could go on). But I do think that there’s a subset of fandom that’s like oh, I don’t like this thing, lets use social justice language to talk about why its Bad and Morally Wrong, rather than just not reading it. And that gets extra annoying because they then sound like people who are trying to point out some real ass problems and so people lump these groups together and I have to ask myself before I follow someone if they’re disagreeing with the idea that fandom’s collective love affair with whitecock is problematic, or if they just want to write their fucking otayuri fic.

This is probably way more than you were expecting! I don’t hate tumblr (...mostly). I just find it really frustrating that we’ve decided that this (and a little bit twitter and a little bit instagram which i’m just flummoxed by) is our fannish home when its actually The Worst for a hobby of which one of the main tenants is community building. Like we’ve glued and stapled shit together, we’ve adapted like fandom always does but like Dreamwidth is right there. We could have it all, we just don’t take it. 

Lol, other Fandom Olds that follow me, feel free to hop on this post, I’m sure you have other shit about fandom on tumblr that you hate.

[caveartfair]

Welcome to TikTok, the Wildly Popular Video App Where Gen Z Makes the Rules

The hashtag #PoseChallenge has 1.5 billion views. And while millennials are used to ruling internet culture, most of them don’t know what it is. They don’t even know the name of the app that spawned it.

That app, TikTok, is among a set of new digital phenomena overturning millennials’ self-perceived mastery of the internet. I first learned of TikTok through my research into various Gen Z (born between 1995 and 2010) memetic subcultures on Instagram for a text titled Politigram & the Post-left (2018) that explores the landscape of young online communities during and after the 2016 election cycle. Through my activity on Tumblr in 2012, as part of the artist collaborative Jogging, I learned early on that much of the internet’s viral content was made by young teenagers. Following these communities offers a unique insight into emergent cultural shifts before they hit the mainstream. This fall, after seeing what must have been a hundred nearly identical TikTok videos in my Instagram feed, I finally had to download the app and figure out just what exactly was going on.

Screenshot on TikTok.

Screenshot on TikTok.

TikTok—or Douyin as it is known in China, where it originated—is a mobile-only social network that allows users to create 15-second videos, most often set to the tune of pop songs, and offers a wide variety of built-in editing tools and visual effects. It’s lip-sync karaoke—but it’s also so much more. The app launched in September 2016 and acquired its main competitor, Musical.ly, at a near–$1 billion price tag, integrating the two services in August. It is currently one of the fastest-growing social media platforms, with 500 million–plus monthly active users across 150 countries, currently outranking both Snapchat and Facebook on Apple’s app store.

Unlike other video platforms before it, TikTok has a unique social infrastructure. The network is designed to facilitate user collaboration in the form of “duets.” All content is intended for appropriation. Each user can build upon the content of a previous video, creating a “duet chain,” where performers mime the same sequence of actions. Users come in and out; the original doesn’t matter, only your version of it. On TikTok, chipmunk melodies and fast cuts predominate, as do dances that reference the avatars in the wildly popular video game Fortnite. It’s a decentralized network of performer-choreographers whose creative output resembles something like a never-ending video made by artist Ryan Trecartin, but starring teenage gamers.

In the hours I’ve spent on TikTok, I’ve witnessed an American user base that is a diverse composition of subcultures, roughly construed as gamers, cosplayers, troops, and teen influencers. These groups cross-pollinate in some novel ways. “The reveal,” a technique in which users cover their camera lens and quickly cut to unveil a wardrobe change, appears to have originated within the cosplay community, but has since been widely adopted by police and military officers. Servicemen and women snap-change from civilian clothes into uniform, over the chorus “My Life Be Like” by hip-hop group Grits or “Good Girls, Bad Guys” by glam-metal band Falling in Reverse. Watching soldiers learn memetic techniques from anime-obsessed teenagers feels like an anomaly in today’s siloed-off experience of social media, where algorithms create “filter bubbles” in which groups with disparate opinions or cultural backgrounds rarely overlap.

Screenshot on TikTok.

Screenshot on TikTok.

While #PoseChallenge is visually mesmerizing, it is conceptually boring. Users strike a pose and bounce along with the beat of the music. This technique is utilized widely and reiterated throughout many other, more curious memes. #ChooseYourCharacter improvises on the “character selection page” common to fighting games. Users dress up as their favorite avatars and place a handwritten name tag at the bottom of their screen. They bump along to the intro music of Super Smash Bros., mime a quick few actions, and then return to their default starting position.

The meme has clear roots in the gamer-cosplay corners of TikTok, but has drawn participation from just about every subculture. It now expands to include all genres of familiar cringy internet caricatures: Juulers, K-Pop Fans, Chief, Edgy Virgin, Big Tiddy Goth GF, You-Know-I-Had-To-Do-It-To-Em, and Italian. TikTok users love to dress up as tongue-in-cheek meme-ified personas. They like it even better when it upsets you. Having a video taken down is often a source of pride.

Beyond the trending hashtags surfaced on TikTok’s closely moderated “Explore” page, it neglects to represent a large portion of content on the app. Misogynistic videos and hashtags, largely associated with the gamer constituency of the online right, are prevalent. Videos remanding gamer girls “back to the kitchen” are encountered frequently, and common hashtags include #Kek (40 million views), named after the cultish alt-right icon Pepe the Frog; and #NoNutNovember (69.6 million views) or #NNN (20.6 million views), a challenge based in dubious science and internet folklore where abstinence results in super-masculine levels of testosterone. 4chan trolling culture and questionably “ironic conservatism” has seeped deeply into the mainstream of Gen Z’s online experience. And while these topics may seem niche, the videos themselves have tens of thousands to hundreds of thousands of likes.

Screenshot on TikTok.

Screenshot on TikTok.

TikTok feels like the definitive mark in a forthcoming tide shift. Millennials are aging out and Gen Z is taking over as the dominant online culture. To quote an anonymous 15-year-old user: “Boomer is a state of mind, not an age. We all become boomers eventually.”

Millennials internalized a strategy for how to use the internet: We built our personal brands to accumulate followers who we would later monetize to sell our art, music, or any number of creative endeavors. Producing images of ourselves being successful, even while we were struggling, was our “fake it ’til you make it” scheme that—no surprise—didn’t work for the overwhelming majority of those who tried. For every one successful creative director, thousands of same-age workers are relegated to freelance precarity. In an age of declining prospects, we used social media to weave the fiction of success on the off-chance that it just might become real. Now tipping 30, saddled with a lifetime of debt and rising rents, the reality of millenials’ unfortunate place in post-2008 history has begun to settle in.

To their credit, Gen Z listened closely and took our advice. Recent research, such as Sean Monahan and Sophie Secaf’s cultural report “GenExit” (2017), shows a new and distinctly non-millennial set of values emerging among the younger generation: “Declining labor market participation, stagnating or declining rates of college attendance, and record-breaking third-party affiliation” are among the most prominent of the trends they cite. Scrolling through video after video on TikTok, I realized that these trends are reflected in the content Gen Z creates, too: The majority are abandoning the personal brand in favor of fluid identity play. On TikTok, the popular use of masks or covering one’s face with a hoodie or dark glasses marks the beginnings of something Monahan, an artist and writer, describes as “post-selfie culture.” The best content occurs when users collaborate. You can’t do TikTok alone.

Observing Gen Z’s digital culture over the past several years has meant moving from platform to platform with them, as they change their usernames and preferred networks frequently. It’s as if they don’t care about building a following or about being recognized in the way platform-loyal millenials do. They only want to a join in the interpersonal fabric of memetic activity and savor the last bit of human connection left on our cold, data-collecting, psychographic-profiling platforms. Making TikTok videos is linking oneself to the cultural duet chain. They build narratives of collective participation.

Their memetic actions are mostly meaningless, and in that way mirror the meaninglessness of most actions in today’s society. Political action has failed. Mass protest has failed. Even capitalism has failed. Yet, somehow, we continue our zombie march to the tireless drumbeat of neoliberal austerity. The younger generation now mimes the zombie forms of gaming avatars in order to laugh at a world in which they themselves have no autonomy and are controlled by outside forces. Young people face a future that was set in motion years ago—they will soon inherit a worse economy than any recent American generation. While millennials earnestly tweet about the stress of their student loans and freelance precarity, Gen Z TikToks in joyous nihilism, mocking a society in which self-determination and upward mobility have long since collapsed.

from Artsy News

[lindyhunt]

Billie Eilish is Wise Beyond Her Sixteen Years

I was more nervous calling up Billie Eilish than I am for most interviews. Sure, she’s only 16-years-old—but that makes her terrifying talent and cool-girl persona all the more intimidating. When I was a teenager, I didn’t have an aesthetically pleasing Instagram account with 1.1 million followers, and I definitely didn’t have a debut single with over 44 million streams.

It turns out, the pop prodigy prides herself on being a little bit scary. “People are terrified of me, and I want them to be,” she said in an interview with W Magazine last year. Having read this statement in my rigorous pre-interview research—and having witnessed Eilish’s fearless performance in front of a sold out crowd at Toronto’s Mod Theatre—I was just as frightened as Eilish wanted me to be. This girl knows exactly who she is, and she isn’t apologizing for it. She’s cooler than me, more talented than me and, as it turns out, she’s a lot wiser than me too.

What does it mean to be an artist? How do you connect with fans? Is being nice pretty? Billie Eilish shares all her tokens of wisdom. And, as a bonus, she offers anecdotes on her relationship with Khalid—the Grammy-nominated R&B singer whom she recently collaborated with on “Lovely“—and her aptly named Instagram handle, @wherearetheavocados.

On being really (really) cool.

“I’m not going to say I’m cool, because I don’t really feel that. I just don’t care at all, and I guess that’s what people think is cool.”

On her fans.

“I don’t even call them fans. I don’t like that. They’re literally just a part of my life; they’re a part of my family. I don’t think of them as on a lower level than me. I don’t think I’m anything but equal to all of them. So yeah, they’re basically all of my siblings.”

On performing.

“What I always say about my shows is, I don’t want people to leave saying, ‘I watched someone do a fun show.’ I want it to be an experience that both of us shared. I want people to say: ‘I went and saw Billie and we had a good time.’ I don’t want it to be a play or something performative, I want everyone to be involved.”

bouncin like sum kangaroos

A post shared by billie eilish (@wherearetheavocados) on Feb 14, 2018 at 4:14pm PST

On her hometown, Los Angeles.

“I don’t really like playing in LA; people here think they’re so cool. Everyone you know and everyone you’ve ever met in your entire life shows up. And in L.A. everyone is a bit insane, everyone thinks they’re better than everyone else.”

On being an artist.

“Being an artist doesn’t just mean you have a song. That doesn’t make you an artist. The word artist means so many different things, and I feel like to be a real one, you really have to do it all. The people that I think of as artists—Tyler the Creator, Childish Gambino, Kanye West—are doing the most.”

lovely out now @thegr8khalid

A post shared by billie eilish (@wherearetheavocados) on Apr 19, 2018 at 10:55am PDT

On being besties with Khalid.

“My friend played ‘Location’ for me back in 2016, before it was big. I looked him up and I couldn’t find a single thing about him. I literally looked up the name Khalid on iTunes and there was nothing there: no songs, no artist page, just nothing. So I found ‘Location’ on Soundcloud, and then realized that he followed me on Twitter. He DM’d me or I DM’d him, and then he gave me his number. We just became friends. Neither of us were chasing any kind of clout, or whatever you want to call it. I respected him for his art, and he respected me. And then he became the huge star that I always thought he was.”

On “Lovely.”

“We wrote it last April. We didn’t really go into it like: ‘We’re going to write a song and put it out.’ [Khalid] just came over and we hung out, and we ended up writing a song. It wasn’t anything more or less than that.”

who dat

A post shared by billie eilish (@wherearetheavocados) on Apr 16, 2018 at 11:18am PDT

On smiling.

“In real life, I’m a really smiley person. I smile when I talk and I laugh. It’s weird because a lot of my friends know me as a very smiley human. So yeah, I don’t smile in photos and I want people to be afraid of me. But in reality, when you see me, I’m just going to cuddle you up.”

On being nice.

“It’s so much prettier to be nice. Being mean or being unfriendly—it’s so unattractive. You can still look cool and be a nice person.”

On starting a fashion brand.

“It’s one of the main things I want to do. I write down and draw out all of my ideas and designs for clothes. Right now, it’s just me creating stuff on photoshop. All the merch that I had on this whole tour, it’s all my design. Well, they’re my designs but toned down a bit, to make them cheaper to make.”

moon bounce

A post shared by billie eilish (@wherearetheavocados) on Aug 8, 2017 at 7:10pm PDT

On her Instagram handle, @wherearetheavocados.

“About five ago I was at home alone making a grilled cheese. Grilled cheese are fucking good dude, and they’re good with avocados because avocados are good with everything. I looked in the fridge for some avocados, I couldn’t find any. I looked under my bed, I looked wherever avocados could be hidden. And I found none! So I stood in front of my fridge and I yelled at the top of my lungs, ‘WHERE ARE THE AVOCADOS?!’

And then a couple days later I made it my username. Now it’s a thing, people bring me avocados to shows and fan pages are always like, ‘here are the avocados.'”

[nofomoartworld]

CGI Artworks Transform the Real World into Science Fiction

  A video posted by Slap Comp (@slapcomp) on

Jan 15, 2017 at 9:07pm PST

Before turning everyday reality into little video clips of sci-fi cinema or video games, Instagram user Slapcomp worked as a professional visual effects artist. Slapcomp, who gave only his first name, Allen, tells The Creators Project that he worked at ESC Entertainment during The Matrix productions, then Weta for many years, before finally ending up at Pixar. This background has no doubt helped in fashioning some mind-blowing vignettes that augment reality into wondrous sci-fi moments, like clouds floating on a human hand and generative 3D organisms rippling in the air.

A few months ago, Allen left his job to work at Grant Achatz’s experimental restaurant, Alinea, in Chicago. Allen credits having a kid as inspiring him to post short, experimental CG artworks on Instagram over the last ten months. He needed something to do during naptime or late at night when the rest of the family had gone to bed. Another initial seed for creating these works was planted when a friend turned Allen on to CG and video artist Beeple’s work.  

  A video posted by Slap Comp (@slapcomp) on

Jan 4, 2017 at 9:17pm PST

“Beeple decided at one point that he wanted to be a better artist,” says Allen. “His way of addressing that desire was to try to make a piece of art every day, and post it online. He’s managed to do this every single day for over 10 years. I’m no stranger to disciplined dedication to a project, but I found Beeple’s work and general philosophy totally flabbergasting.”

Allen had been been creating CG imagery for a long time, with the good fortune of having worked on several Oscar-winning films. But whereas Beeple could churn out this quality of work in just a few hours, Allen would labor for weeks to do the same with the most massive render farms and the absolute best resources in the world at his disposal. This was a big inspiration, as was Beeple’s modesty about his talent.  

  A video posted by Slap Comp (@slapcomp) on

Nov 23, 2016 at 6:50am PST

“My main interests for my Slapcomp account are: Go fast, do it with as little resources as possible, cross the finish line as often as possible, do whatever I want, or whatever is interesting to me in that moment,” Allen says. He tries to see how high of a bar he can reach under as many constraints as possible, so he uses a cheap copy of Houdini Indie to make his work. Everything is made on his Macbook, and he never uses pirated software. For him, that's cheating.

The works, as his Instagram username suggests, are inspired by the term “slapcomp," used by visual effects artists who need to generate several elements to build up a complete final picture. Basically, it is a very fast, rough composite used to envision how the work can be refined.  

  A video posted by Slap Comp (@slapcomp) on

Nov 27, 2016 at 3:13pm PST

“One of the biggest challenges with a mandate to learn is to push yourself in ways that are uncomfortable, or that don’t come naturally,” Allen says. “The early stuff on my page was directly influenced by checking out other artists doing work like that—it’s wildly different from what comes naturally to me, so I wanted to push myself in weird directions.”

In one of his early posts, Allen taught himself how to control an animation purely with sound. For him, it became a moment of pure delight. And by visiting Norwegian generative artist and composer Anders Hoff’s website Inconvergent, Allen learned how to make his CG art generative.  

  A video posted by Slap Comp (@slapcomp) on

Dec 5, 2016 at 7:40pm PST

Allen’s more recent Slapcomp posts find him venturing into optical illusions, taking moving 3D graphics and mapping them onto everyday reality. In one, Allen takes an image from a book and makes a 3D version of it float above the book’s pages. In another, he makes cube-like bubbles float over grass.

“I found this guy Kidmograph making interesting stuff on Instagram, and recognized what he was doing,” says Allen, noting how the work was not dissimilar from how live action visual effects are created. “And I thought ‘Oh wait, I already know how to do that—maybe I wanna go play in that space a little bit.’”  

  A video posted by Slap Comp (@slapcomp) on

Oct 19, 2016 at 10:25pm PDT

“That sort of got me on a jag to learn matchmoving, the act of creating a 3D virtual camera derived from a 2D sequence of images,” he adds. “It’s very bread-and-butter visual effects, but I just had never had to learn it for my particular job, and from there I just started playing around a little.”

Though Allen both likes and hates his Slapcomp work, he does have a couple favorites. One is of metallic spheres floating around a simple cylindrical shape. Inspired by the “San Junipero” episode of Black Mirror, he finds this piece comforting for some reason. Allen is also fond of a clip featuring a 3D web of black material fixed to a real concrete wall, around and through which little arcs of light jump and disappear.  

  A video posted by Slap Comp (@slapcomp) on

Dec 11, 2016 at 5:44pm PST

Allen really likes lighting, shading, and rendering, so he says that creating these little CG vignettes or stories comes naturally to him. The problem with creating them, as he sees it, is that it’s not super-uncomfortable which is the best way he learns new things and challenges himself. Eventually he would like to learn more about audio as well as venture into virtual reality.

“This Slapcomp thing is just a big experiment where I get to feel like a student again, I get to work on whatever I want and learn in whatever direction I feel like learning in,” Allen muses. “There’s little opportunity for risk as a visual effects artist at this moment. This account is me letting myself take risks.”

Click here to see more of Slapcomp’s work.

Related:

Uh Oh, 3D GIFs Infiltrated Reality

“Tron” Meets Edouard Salier In These Retro-Futuristic GIFs

Trip Out on These DMT-Inspired 3D GIF Artworks

Infinite GIF Landscapes Emerge in a Psychedelic Short Film

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