#real bad art block lately

[elias-acorn]

FOUND IT !!!!!! anyways here he is

[pennylime]

this is what actually happened right..? yeah, definitely

Closeups :]

[ahollowgrave]

hi people can see your tags!! i know we like to talk about how 'safe' screaming in the tags feels and to an extent it is safe, indirect communication. but it is communication and the OP is very likely to see them. if its not something you'd say to them don't put it in the tags, maybe. (:

[jazzzzzzhands]

Doing practice sketches until the art block goes away, Day 2

I wasn't sure about teeth at first but man oh man, I think I really like Barn with teeth! How else is he supposed to have a shit-eating grin?

[orenjibot]

i asked my friends to draw some blobs of color and i draw some lines on it! first time i did this, so it was a lot of fun!

[i-arch-my-backula]

Horror characters seeing their s/o covered in blood

Happy Halloween everyone. I did a poll awhile ago on what I should post for Halloween and this won. So I'm here to deliver what y'all voted on. I included a lot of characters in this just for fun. Disclaimer I haven't written for some of these characters in awhile or that much at all, so sorry if some of these are ooc.

Includes: Amanda Young, Michael Myers, Otis Driftwood, The Lost Boys, Candyman, Doomhead, Patrick Bateman, Severen Van Sickle, Pyramid Head, and The Sinclair brothers

Warnings: Mentions of real and fake blood, slightly suggestive content, gn reader, talk of drinking blood in The Lost Boys and Severen's section, violence, murder

Amanda Young

You weren't supposed to find out about what Amanda did. She wanted to keep you separate from the gore of her apprentice work. But accidents happen and somehow you get to where a trap had happened.

You were in the where-house when you slipped on a puddle of blood and got your entire front half covered in it. You screamed out and Amanda quickly came rushing in.

You standing there covered in blood made something tick inside of Amanda. Something she knows she shouldn't feel seeing you covered in blood.

But she pushes this aside and quickly assures you it's fake blood that happened to spill all over the ground. She can't stop herself from giving you a quick kiss before helping you leave.

She'll get you all cleaned up back at home but she won't be able to stop thinking about seeing you covered in blood.

Michael Myers

Michael was out while you were getting ready for a Halloween party. A part of your costume involved you getting drenched in fake blood. After pouring the fake blood all over yourself in your bathtub you let it dry and step out.

You're downstairs, gathering up your things for the party when you notice the feeling that you're being watched. You turn around and spot Michael watching you.

Michael knows what real blood looks like and considering you're pretty calm he knows this is for your costume. But something inside of him is yelling at him. Not in the usual 'kill someone' way, but in a 'get them and try not to hurt them' way.

You're going to be late to that Halloween party. Michael is going to stand there and make you spin around for him so he can watch you move while you're covered in blood. You know he's getting some kind of kick out of this, so who are you to stop his fun.

After this Michael will try to hint at you to get covered in blood more often. He'll even offer to get the blood this time, but it wouldn't be fake if he got it. He'll keep thinking about you covered in blood and won't be forgetting how it made him feel anytime soon.

Otis Driftwood

You walked in on him at a bad time. While you've grown to accept what your boyfriend does, you don't like partaking in his torture of other people. But when you walked into the wrong room at the wrong time you got sprayed all over with blood.

It coats your face, hair and chest. You thankfully didn't get any in your eyes or mouth. You do let out a scream of surprise but you're not too grossed out by the blood, living with the Firefly family for as long as you have will do that.

Otis takes a good long few moments to just stare at you. You're hot enough as it is, but seeing you all covered in blood like this? Otis is going to have to go take a long cold shower.

"Well isn't this my lucky day." He'll say before walking over to you, completely ignoring the victim now. He'll take all of you in and won't let you wash it off so quickly.

"I just wanna take a couple pictures of ya darlin'." He'll quickly get his camera out and have you pose for him while you're still covered in blood. This will come in handy when he's having art block or he just needs to have some 'personal time'.

The Lost boys

It's your first time feeding and it ended up getting really messy for you, considering you've never done it before. So you got just as much blood all over yourself as you did in your mouth.

Dwayne is the first to notice and he's smirking a little to himself as he watches your blood covered body move. He's committing this sight to memory and he'll probably find a way to get you covered in blood again.

David is the next to notice. He'll smile wider than Dwayne and make some comments about how messy eating can get at times. But he'll also talk about how hot you look covered in blood.

Marko doesn't even make a comment, he just straight up lunges and kisses you right then and there, fangs still out and everything. Seeing you all vamped out and covered in blood really got to him, making him loose all self composer that he has.

Paul also joins in on kissing you, but he'll opt for your neck since your mouth is taken. I can see him licking some blood off of you, but not too much because he loves the sight of you drenched in blood. But the boys will agree to try and get you that messy again the next time you feed.

Candyman

You didn't want to go with him. You summoned him and when he showed you how devoted he is to you, you didn't want to go. So he had no other option than to make you go by force.

You're entering your apartment after going to a Halloween party. Your costume was something you put together quickly and involved you pouring fake blood all over your front half. As you walk further into your apartment you get a strange feeling.

You try to ignore it as you walk to your bathroom to wash off the fake blood. Before you can do that you hear something moving in your medicine cabinet. You open it and after a few moments a hook jumps through it. You obviously scream and run out of your bathroom.

You're in your kitchen, picking up your phone when you see him again. He's looking at you with that same adoration in his eye from the first time you met him. He's looking you up and down. You're frozen again as he watches you.

"You're even more desirable covered in blood," He says in his sultry voice. You shed a couple tears as you try to move, but you're unable to. "I'll have to remember this the next time I see you my love. I'll never be able to forget this."

Doomhead

He knew you were going to a Halloween party, but what he didn't know was that you were going to be covered in blood when you came home. He knows real blood from fake blood and when he sees you he can't help but chuckle.

31 is coming up and he's always tried to keep you separate from it. Seeing you covered in blood is a bit of a double edged sword for him. On one hand he loves seeing you covered in blood, but he also can't stop thinking about 31, and what would happen if you got caught in it.

"Ok so I got a little too close to one of the decorations and I accidentally got covered in fake blood." You explain, taking off your shoes, "I should probably shower all of this off."

"Well I was hoping to get a better look at you like this." He says with a Cheshire grin. You roll your eyes but smile and walk over to him. He spins you around a bit, taking a good look at all of the blood on you.

He knows he'll have to tell you about 31 eventually, and that he'll always keep you away from it. But for right now he can enjoy watching his s/o look stunning while covered in blood.

Severen Van Sickle

It's been awhile since your last feed and when you finally got someone you could barely hold back from drinking as quickly as possible. Because you were so worried about eating as much as you could as quickly as possible you got yourself covered in blood.

After you pushed the body away Severen took notice of your blood soaked clothes. He couldn't stop himself from smiling and taking a good long look at you. He knows you'll be too full to do anything after feeding that much so he'll have to commit this sight to memory, just for some fun activities later.

You wipe your mouth and smear more blood over your face and Severen can barely contain himself at this point. He'll have to quickly ask you if you're up to help him, or if he should do it alone.

Either way he doesn't want you cleaning yourself up anytime soon. Even after his issue is taken care of he just wants to see you covered in blood. He loves how it looks in general but also aesthetically. If he has a camera on hand he's taking a picture of you.

He will try to recreate this later. Next time you're feeding he'll try to get blood all over you. I can see him filling up his mouth with blood and just spitting it on you because let's be honest, he's very dirty and probably has as many diseases as a stray cat.

Pyramid Head

You're walking around Silent Hill, trying to find some more food to stock up on when you come across one of Pyramid Head's recent kills. You don't notice and you slip on the puddle of blood.

You're used to the blood and gore of living with Pyramid Head in Silent Hill so slipping on blood and getting it all over your clothes is more of an inconvenience than scary. You groan and stand up, looking at blood slightly dripping off your clothes.

You turn around and find him standing near you. "I just slipped on some blood. It's not mine and I'm not hurt." You say. You can never really tell what he's feeling or his emotions but you can sense he's feeling a certain way about you being covered in blood.

You two just stand there while Pyramid Head is thinking about smearing more blood all over you. Seeing you covered in blood is doing something to him. So he walks over, get's blood on his hands and rubs it over your face and clothes.

He'll follow you around and just keep watching you while you're covered in blood. He'll be thinking about this for awhile, and he'll try to recreate it whenever there's free time or he just needs to see you covered in blood.

Bo Sinclair

You were busy going after a victim and it got a bit messy. You got yourself covered in blood. By the time you get the body back to the House of Wax the blood that's on your hair and face has dripped down to soak your clothes even more.

You hand it off to Vincent and when Bo sees you he pauses for a moment before he chuckles. "I like yer new look darlin'." He says teasingly. But he's using that teasing to mask how damn hot you are covered in blood.

You're able to pick up on this and you know a great way to get him back for making you chase down someone and kill them.

"Oh I know. I love this look too." You say teasingly back to him, moving your hands up and rubbing your hand over your face and neck, getting a good amount of blood on it. You walk over to Bo and smear the blood on his shirt before you step back.

"Too bad I'm about to wash it off." You say before you dodge Bo trying to grab you, "If you catch me before we get to the house I'll let you wash it off." You say before running out of the house, Bo follows behind quickly.

Lester Sinclair

You're helping Lester out by picking up a deer from the road. You're in the middle of lifting it into the truck when something happens and you get covered in deer blood.

Lester quickly rushes over to you and lifts the deer into the back of the truck. He's looking you over and making sure that you're ok. You'll have to assure him at least ten times that you're perfectly ok and that the deer just got blood all over you.

Now knowing that you're ok he does kind of realize that, you look good covered in blood. Lester loves when you get a bit dirty in general, but blood has him feeling a bit more excited than normal.

He'll zone out a bit for awhile until you bring him back and he acts like everything is good and he's totally not obsessing over the look of you covered in blood.

He'll keep this to himself until it starts to boil over and he admits to you that he hasn't stopped thinking about you being covered in blood. If you suggest the idea of getting covered in blood again he'll be all over that idea.

Vincent Sinclair

When you offered to model for Vincent's study you didn't expect to get covered in fake blood. But Vincent wanted you covered in blood and you didn't really mind so that's what the two of you do.

You stay still the entire time but you notice Vincent staring more than he is drawing. But once he notices you noticing him he gets back to drawing you.

He takes his damn well time to draw you and at one point he stands up and walks over to you. He starts to pose you in a different way and it's totally not an excuse to touch you and see you covered in blood up close.

He'll put you in so many different positions and will keep pouring blood on you. He's honestly memorized by you standing there covered in blood. At one point he'll bust out the camera and ask if he can film.

He sees you being covered in blood in a more romantic, artistic way that makes his heart beat faster. He'll have to get you covered in blood more often so he can draw, paint, photograph, etc you.

[kof-xiii]

doing art really is the only thing that can cure me actually HHGGGGG

[hkthatgffan]

Hey, Kiki-Kit. Your customers are waiting!

Well, this is a painful post to make given the respect and admiration I had for her, but a long overdue one because I'm not alone in this mess and I refuse to let another fan fall for it when I could've said something!

Back in February, I bought a commission from Kiki-Kit. You may know that artist as she was one of the best in the Gravity Falls fandom back in the day and the illustrator of Don't Dimension It in Lost Legends.

She'd been running emergency commissions at the start of the year and I got one from her for $40 USD.

I have the invoice and everything saved and also messages with Kiki of us talking about the comm and me paying her. I owe nothing on my end money wise! I paid in full.

She said later she'd have them finished by around the end of March but come late April, still no response. So, I messaged her about it. Nothing odd I thought. I get things can happen and if Kiki is busy, at most she'd reply telling me it'll be a while longer and all's good.

But I got nothing. I messaged her, emailed her on the commissions email she had and tweeted at her. NOTHING! Turns out there were other people, including some friends of mine who had not heard back either. Then in June, Kiki made an update post explaining the situation.

Naturally I felt bad and wished her the best. She said iirc, she'd have the remaining comms done by the end of the Summer but here we are at the end of October and still nothing. I messaged her too again and no response.

You know, it's one thing if there's a reason for no response for a few days but then another when it's been months and still nothing. Oh and btw, I very much remember Kiki on Twitter liking tweets (back when Twitter let you see liked tweets) while I was there messaging her for an update. Real sus if you ask me.

But okay, I shouldn't rush it. Everyone has reasons to take time and maybe Kiki is just very busy and can't get back. She went through a very rough and difficult experience and I can understand and respect that. I'm more than happy to wait. But how long is too long without an update? Maybe a bit longer I guess. Art takes time.

Well, IDK about you all, but I don't remember any other Gravity Falls fan artist taking oh, idk...FIVE YEARS TO FINISH A COMMISION AND STILL NOT RESPOND!!

FoxieSkullzArtz on Twitter made me aware she has been waiting since 2019 for Kiki to respond to a commission they paid her for.

2019!!

I'm not an artist, so forgive me if I'm wrong. But I don't think it should take any artist 5 years to make a commission and even if, at least communicate with the person who paid you about it so they're not left guessing.

Oh, and it gets worse. I got another person who let me know they've been waiting since 2020 for a comm and Kiki handled it far worse!

Oh yeah, she blocked them for asking about it!

And okay, even if we give Kiki-Kit the benefit of the doubt and assume she has reasons to not communicate with people and maybe even assume people messaging her are being mean about it, then why not refund them? Nice or bad, you were paid by them to do something but also have the power to deny it and refund their money. And yet, Kiki did not even do that. And even if we be super kind and assume everyone is lying, I'm still here.

I paid Kiki-Kit $40USD for a comm I thought I would get in late March and it's now late October and still nothing. And even if you don't wanna believe me cause you can't believe an artist like Kiki-Kit would do this and assume I'm after clout (which would be odd, given why would I take pleasure in calling out an artist I respected)...well, there's gonna be someone else who says this too. And people have been saying this for years and she still is getting away with it!

It's disappointing honestly. Kiki-Kit is a name so many in this fandom know and love. And I love her art too. She's a fan artist who got to be on Lost Legends. We all celebrated that in 2018 and still remember it. And I know how hard it may be to hear this, but it has to be said.

I do not like having to do this, but I have a platform that can get this message across further than others could and having been someone who lost money to her too, I know first hand what all these people have been through.

And before you say "Kiki was going through a rough time in her life. Why are you blaming her? Be patient and she'll get your stupid art done," read over everything again. I'm not saying Kiki-Kit needs to be making art 24/7 and fulfilling these comms. I'm not saying she isn't allowed to be offline and not finish things on time for reasons out of her control. What I'm saying is that she hasn't communicated properly with anyone here who paid her and has continued to accept more and more commissions from people despite not finishing ones she has backlogs of.

When an artist opens commissions, why do you think they have slots or only accept a few? Because they know they can get that many done in a certain time or know anymore will take longer. And even if it took longer, at least they give updates. I bought a commission for the interview with Alex Hirsch and got it both on time and with proper communication from the artist.

And even if you disagree with all this, be honest with yourself...is making someone wait since 2019 or 2020 for a comm and not responding to them really something still worth defending?

I'm not here to cancel anyone. I don't want Kiki-Kit's reputation to be that of an scammer who stole money from people. But she's painted herself that way to far too many people who have been warning about this for ages but no one either saw or listened to them.

I tried to be nice and messaged Kiki-Kit over and over for an update and she never responded. I had friends who she took money from who similarly have not heard anything back! If you know Kiki directly, tell her to reach out to these people and all the ones she has taken money from and not gotten back to and either refund them or commit to finishing their commissions. Please don't be rude or hostile either though, given despite it all, she is still a person like your or me who deserves a chance to make things right.

I wanna believe Kiki-Kit has just made some negligent mistakes and isn't the best with time management or communication. I mean, I'm not the best either. But I'm not asking people for money for something and then not getting back to them with it. I'm sorry to everyone who is learning about this who saw Kiki in a positive light and I'm sorry also to everyone like me who lost money to her.

I hope if nothing else, Kiki will respond and make whole everyone she has taken money from. If she really cares about this fandom that put her on a pedestal high enough that Alex Hirsch himself picked her to work on his book, she can respond to us and fulfill what we paid her to do.

I'm not asking for my commission to be done tomorrow...I just want an update. That's all. We all do! No more stalling, @kiki-kit. Please respond to us now!

Sincerely,

Every person who has paid you for a commission and has yet to hear back from you and every Gravity Falls fan who your work inspired and are now having to learn this about you!

[rafeandonlyrafe]

reckless

words: 2.3k

warnings: 18+ only, smut, p in v sex, unprotected sex, male receiving oral, aged up!rafe (28), age gap (reader is 20), reader kinda dumb and stupid tbh, breaking and entering but actually technically she didnt break anything so just entering, urban exploring

“stay away from that house.” your friend warns, following your eyesight to get light shining from only one window, the rest of the house covered in shadow.

“why?” you question, curiosity growing.

“some asshole lives there. i guess he got real rich when he was young and now he spends all his time inside hiding. the whole island hates him but nothing he did was bad enough to land him in prison…” your friend gives you a serious look. “or at least nothing they can prove.”

you're new to the outer banks, but she already knows your personality. you're defiant and confident, afraid of nothing.

it's why despite her warnings the next night you're scaling up the fence and hopping over to the other side. you note the well taken care of yard, whoever this guy is must still employ a lawn crew.

you keep your footsteps light but unhurried as you walk around the exterior of the enormous house, still just the one window with a light on, like no one else has been in any other part of the home for a long time.

you figure a house like this might have security, but you live only a block away and would certainly get to your house before any cops would show up.

you peer in a few windows, but it's too dark inside to really make out anything. you make your way into the backyard, looking down the long dock to see a yacht. you consider exploring that first before shaking your head and focusing back in on the house.

in your old city, you had a habit of breaking into places. not to steal or damage anything, just for the thrill of getting in and looking around, knowing you're not supposed to be there.

you peer in through the glass doors. it's not that late, only 11pm, but you figure the old man who lives here must already be upstairs and hopefully asleep as you grip the handle.

you wait to hear an alarm from just your touch, but when the house remains silent, you attempt to turn the handle, surprised and happy that it's completely unlocked as you slide it open.

you step into the living room, looking around at the intricate and clearly expensive decorations. your friend was definitely right about this guy being rich, but of course he is if he lives in a neighborhood like this.

“damn.” you mutter to yourself, stepping closer to a fancy vase sat on a table. you purposely leave the glass door open in case you need to make a quick escape out.

your eyes take in every piece of art hung on the wall and gold detailed lamps as you head further into the house, peeking into rooms as you quickly map out the layout. you note the stairs in the center hallway leading up, able to tell there's one light on and deciding quickly to avoid it.

you make like the rush of breaking into places, but you certainly don't like getting caught as you tiptoe into the kitchen next. out of pure curiosity, you open a couple cabinets to find them well stocked.

you focus in on the fridge next. you don't intend to steal but maybe this guy has a couple bottles of beer that won't be missed.

you frown when you realize it's mostly healthy food and energy drinks as you close the fridge, practically jumping out of your skin when you realize there's a tall man with his arms crossed, leaning against the cabinet.

“what are you doing here?” you yell, backing up and putting the island between you and him.

“bold of you to ask me that considering you're the one breaking into my house.” the man's voice is easy going and gentle despite the circumstances.

“your house?” you look the guy up and down. “i thought the guy who lived here was old.”

he moves to the island, placing himself directly in the middle so you can't bolt away, a movement you're very aware of.

“and what made you think that?” he questions. it's hard to tell in the low light, only the faint glow of buttons on the fridge and a bit of moonlight creeping in, but he looks young. your guess is late 20s or early 30s, not like the senior citizen you were picturing.

“my friend told me some asshole-” you cringe at the bad choice of words but continue on. “lives here who got rich when he was young.”

“hm, yeah that does sound like me.” the guy hums. “so what, you were gonna steal from me?”

“no.” you quickly shake your head. “i don't steal, i have no need. i just… like urban exploring.” you decide on saying.

“mmm, isn't that usually exploring abandoned places?” he questions, somehow still carrying on the conversation so naturally, like you're an invited guest rather than a trespasser.

“i thought this place was basically abandoned. like i said, thought you were old.” you shrug.

“well, im only 28, so if you consider that old.” he crosses his arms, muscles bulging.

“im 20.” you say, swallowing thickly. 

you can see the gleam in the man's teeth as he smiles. “interesting… come with me.”

his command is so effortless, you find your feet moving before your mind catches up, following him deeper into the house and up the stairs.

“what are you going to do with me?” you ask, worrying he's going to call the cops. your parents would be pissed if only a week after they move you out of the big city you get arrested again.

“did your friend happen to tell you why i stay in this house?” he hums, opening a door and beckoning you in. you quickly realize this is the bedroom with the lights always on.

“um, just that you did something and no one likes you.”

“that's exactly right, even though i did nothing wrong. i only ever wanted to protect my family.” you see anger briefly take over his features as he relieves whatever memory that made him so hated. “but still, it's hard being lonely.”

he takes a couple steps forward, swinging the door shut behind him to keep the two of you in there, alone. “it's why id like your company…”

“y/n.” you mumble your name. you don't bother to give a fake name.

“y/n.” the name rolls seamlessly off his tongue, like a purr. “im rafe.”

“what do you mean by company, rafe?” now that you're in the light and can get a good look at him, you're hoping it's what you're thinking.

“isn't it obvious?” he quirks his head to the side. “i want you to sleep with me.”

“okay.” you whisper. you're certainly not inexperienced or against sleeping with random guys, even if your friend did warn you about him. you've already gone two whole weeks without getting anything, and you're starting to feel a little high strung.

“perfect.” rafe crosses past you, placing himself on the edge of the. neatly made bed. “undress.”

his command is once again so simple and effective that your hands begin moving instantly, pulling off your tank top to reveal your bright pink bra before sliding your shorts down next to show off the matching underwear.

you turn your back towards rafe and look over your shoulder as you slide your panties down, revealing your bare ass and pussy before kicking off your sandals. 

you walk over to rafe slowly, a smile on your face as you undo the last piece of clothing covering you and let your bra drop to the floor.

“fuck, you're sexy.” rafe leans forward and grabs you, hands gripping your ass, squeezing the plump flesh there. he doesn't bother to wait for you to recover as he sits you onto his lap, cunt being pressed into his thigh as his mouth devours yours.

you can feel his need in the kiss, how starved he is from touch as you begin to kiss back, hands rubbing all over his front.

you only briefly stop the kiss to yank his shirt off. you're not surprised by his muscles, you could tell how perfectly built he was even in the dark kitchen.

rafe begins to slide your pussy against his pants, wetting his thigh as your clit drags against the material.

“fuck, you're already so wet.” rafe moans into your mouth. you don't pause to tell him that you always get a little bit wet in excitement when breaking into a new place.

“let me blow you.” you slide off, already missing the feeling on your pussy as you pull at rafes pants. he lifts his hips to help you and you waste no time, pulling his underwear down as well.

rafes cock pops up, hard and ready for attention. you push his thighs open with your hands so you can nestle between his legs, smiling as you watch a bead of precum from before licking it clean.

“god.” rafe groans, a hand fisting in your hair, tangling his fingers into the strands. “it's been so long since someone else has touched me.”

you feel bad for rafe in that moment, but it's quickly forgotten in favor of wrapping your lips around the head of his cock and giving it an intense suck, wanting to show him a truly good time.

you begin to bob your head, slowly taking more and more of his length into your mouth. he's not the biggest you've ever gotten with, but his girth certainly makes up for it as you get used to him pushing at the walls of your throat.

you'll certainly need more attention to your pussy to be able to take him as you reach down and rub your fingers against your clit, wanting to jump on his cock the second you're done blowing him.

“how are you only 20?” rafe asks, talking mostly to himself considering your mouth is occupied. “you suck dick so well.”

you don't want to comment that you've had lots of experience, but you have a feeling he won't judge you for it. so many guys sleep around yet want every girl to be a virgin, and that's certainly something you don't subscribe to.

with a final push, you're able to take rafe all the way down as you nuzzle your nose into his skin, gagging slightly but able to hold for a decently long time before you need to pull off to take a deep breath.

“come up here, baby.” rafe says, tugging your hand that isn't still playing with your pussy. “want to fuck you.”

you wipe your mouth before standing up, glad you weren't on your knees for long as you move onto the bed.

“fuck me good, daddy.” you purr out, staying on your hands and knees and swaying your ass to entice rafe as he moves behind you.

“oh, i will baby.” rafe rubs his cock through your folds, not bothering to offer to put on a condom when you so clearly don't care.

rafe teases you, pressing slightly against your entrance before going back to rubbing against you until you're frustrated and aching. you're about to open your mouth to complain, to tell him to hurry it up, when his cock plunges inside of you in one quick motion that has you screaming out.

“oh, fuck!” you squeal as rafe instantly begins pounding into you.

rafe smiles as he looks towards the window, slightly cracked. he hopes the neighbors hear your screams and moans of pleasure and learn that he's not just willing to stay inside for the rest of his life. no, rafe is crafting his revenge against the town and when the time comes, they will all regret the way they treated him.

rafe looks down at you as he thrusts into you, your head hung forward and curls bouncing with every movement as he punishes your cunt.

“shit.” rafe groans, pulling out to quickly flip you onto your back.

his mouth meets yours just as his cock reenters you, kissing you wildly while he thrusts without abandon, letting himself loose on you.

rafe can feel himself swelling inside of you and tries his best to hold back from cumming, fingers reaching to your clit to focus on your pleasure before his own, wanting to extend this as long as possible.

“god, you feel so good.” you moan out, jaw slackened even as rafe continue to kiss around your mouth, eyes glossed over in pure pleasure.

“yeah?” rafe smiles. “you gonna cum for me?”

“mhm. keep- keep rubbing.” you tilt your head back as he swipes over your clit, back and forth, building you up while his cock fills out your insides.

“come on, baby.” rafe moans out, kissing you again, unable to stop even though he wants to hear your moans. his hips move faster and faster until he can't hold back anymore, pulling out and releasing all over your stomach in long ropes.

you squeal out as he pinches your clit, triggering your own orgasm as your entire body shakes, back arching off the bed.

“fuck!” you shout. “rafe!”

you both flop against the mattress, breathing heavily as you recover, pussy dripping wet onto his blankets.

“thanks for the company.” rafe smiles, causing you to laugh.

“yeah, always happy to stick around.” you giggle, leaning into his side. there's certainly no shame cuddling up to him after what you just did.

“would you… would you come back tomorrow?” rafe asks, pushing a strand of hair off where it was sticking to your face.

“first week in a new town and i already found myself a fuck buddy? hell yeah ill come back tomorrow.” you kiss rafe quickly before standing up off his bed, putting your tanktop and shorts back on but leaving your wet panties and bright bra on the floor.

“but have pizza, im a classy girl after all, i only let you fuck me once before buying me dinner.” you walk out of the bedroom to rafes deep chuckle.

[art]

Creator Spotlight: @jdebbiel

Deb JJ Lee is a non-binary Korean artist based in Brooklyn, NY. They have appeared in the New Yorker, New York Times, NPR, Google, Radiolab, and more. Their award-winning graphic memoir, IN LIMBO, about mental illness and difficult relationships with trauma, released in March 2023 from First Second.

Below is our interview with Deb!

Have you ever had an art block? If so, how did you overcome it?

That implies I am over my art block, but I’m still in it! I think about Kiki’s Delivery Service a lot and how she had to stop doing a thing, and that you can’t really force it, and you have to let it come back to you. It’s a pretty humbling moment, realizing there is more to life than just drawing. I’ve been trying to consume other content like reading or watching movies—anything that is not drawing-related—and to trust that it will come back to me. I think not being afraid to do the small pieces before committing to the big pieces is helpful. Because big pieces are what I am known for, I dig myself into a deeper hole, thinking that each piece has to be bigger than the last one. So yeah! Relaxing and doing the small things before overcommitting to a big piece is the best way to go about it for me.

Which 3 famous artists (dead or alive) would you invite to your dinner party?

I feel like these are all artists that I have second-degree connections with! Jillian Tamaki, Victo Ngai, and Tillie Walden would be my picks!

What are your file name conventions?

…What file name conventions? I mean, I don’t have specific file name conventions, but I actually have a public Google Drive archive! But I usually put “djjl_whatever-the-title-is_final,” and I would always know it’s the final and legit version.

What is a recent creative project that you are proud of?

I did an illustration for the whiskey brand Johnnie Walker. It’s so wild because I only had four days to finish it, and it usually takes me a week and a half if I rush. And honestly, it’s probably one of my best pieces from this year, which is funny. It was for the Mid-Autumn festival, so I made it as Korean as possible.

How has technology changed the way you approach your work?

I only use my iPad to draw everything now, and if I want to pretend that I have a steady workstation, I’ll use my Cintiq. I still am not as comfortable on the Cintiq as I am on Procreate, but it’s still pretty solid and nice. That’s the good part about technology. The bad part about technology is how AI art has been messing things up for me. I’m currently in a lawsuit about AI art as a class rep. Some of my stuff got turned into AI art late last year, so I have to give a deposition at some point. 

What is a convention experience that has stuck with you?

Honestly, they’re all good! I feel like Lightbox Expo has been really nice because it’s truly been a convention for artists. I feel like that’s where most of my audience is, and they’re all around because their purpose is to be better at art. That’s where a lot of original artists do well because they’re getting art they’re inspired by, not so much fanart. I like the Lightbox Expo because it encompasses the pure love of art very well. 

Top tips on setting up an Artist Alley booth?

Use a Y axis, not just your X axis! Take advantage of it! Branding is also something to think about. It is definitely something I’m getting better at. Having an assistant is also very important. I’ve also heard that 8.5x11 to 12x18 inches is usually a good size for prints, but I also provide postcard-sized prints because sometimes people don’t want to commit to a larger size. 

Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?

You know this is so funny. I’ve been following @alicexz for over a decade on Tumblr and other platforms. I’ve followed her work since high school, and we’ve only recently become peers. I found her, and we met for the first time in real life, and she recognized me. And then I found all my drawings from when I was in my Alice phase, back in high school, and I was like, “Yo, this is when I was trying to be you so badly!” and she was cracking up and was like “Wow, this is so good!” It was such a sweet moment. I wanted to take a picture of her holding my drawing up. It’s really nice because now we’re peers.

Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing, Deb! Be sure to check out their Tumblr blog over at @jdebbiel.

[saytrrose]

A post that Freakshow Au + Sm-Baby Fans NEED TO HEAR. READ IT.

—————

I cannot stand the people on tumblr in Mushys comments accusing her of so many horrible things. People have been stating that Mushy has been drawing “non-con” and supporting “abuse”. I will not go into too much detail on how it is affecting her and why but it is incredibly overwhelming for her, and she is not comfortable posting for the time being- and you people are making it hard for her to enjoy it anymore.

Mushy is portraying the au and characters how they would canonly work and that does not make her a bad person. The large amount of people trying to say that she has been drawing non-con of the late absolutely SICKENS me. You clearly do not have any understanding for that terminology and should not be throwing it around. Maybe if people paid attention to the au, the lore and how they are characterized you would come to the conclusion that NO ONE WANTS TO BE IN THE FREAKSHOW AU.

If you need a reminder of the definition, The TADC Freakshow Au is an Au where a horrible virus infects the Ai and twists their reality into a horror mindscape. THIS IS NOT CAINE OR ABLES FAULT. Caine and Able ARE AI. They are corrupted by the virus unwillingly and what Able puts Pomni through in the Able-Owned Pomni Au is yes, considered psychological abuse. HOWEVER why in gods name would you assume she supports that shit? Do you people just assume whenever someone draws a death scene they support murder?? or when someone depicts a scene of an animal getting hurt in a fanfic or movie that director/writer supports animal abuse?? Does that seriously go through your head?

EVERYONE in the Freakshow au in under some sort of psychological abuse- HELL in the original show they are. Like did you even watch it? And back to Freakshow, it’s a HORROR AU. People are killed left and right and no one seems to have a problem with that hm? THIS IS FICTION. PEOPLE NEED TO LEARN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FICTION AND REALITY BECAUSE WHEN YOU DO NOT DO SO YOU HURT PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE. Not the people producing fictional content, YOU.

People are quite literally, harassing Mushy right now and it is heartbreaking to see my friend experience this. If you do not like certain content that Mushy creates, BLOCK her or BLOCK her tags. People asking for her to tag her art with “abuse” makes her highly uncomfortable. If you do not like this, simply take responsibility for your own viewing and stop interacting.

People need to stop assuming that Mushy is also not trying to find comfort in drawing certain topics. You people need to stop assuming that Mushy lives some sort of cheery happy go lucky life. She experiences a lot, she is going through A LOT right now and you people dog piling these accusations onto her is not only just disrespectful as a person in general, but as her follower. It is truly just disappointing to see just how rude people can be when they are supposed to be your biggest supporters.

A tag MIGHT be arranged, something as simple as “Able-Owned Au” and if this is done then block it. It is that easy. It is so so easy and simple to take initiative for yourself and what you see and how you feel about it by limiting it on your own end than going out of your way to make someone feel horrible about themselves.

Mushys blog is HER blog. She can draw whatever she would like to and if anyone has an issue with this you can very kindly, FUCK OFF. The block button exists, use it. The block tags method exists, use it.

Stop harassing creators.

[taelonsamada]

GUESS WHO’S FINALLY SHAKEN OFF HER ART BLOCK??!

😅 as I imagine a few of you have noticed, I’ve done way more writing than drawing lately lol I was battling a real bad case of art block that barely let me get out skeletal sketches, let alone proper drawings

But after busting out a few oil paintings for the upcoming craft fair, I’ve finally gotten over that block!! 😁

So of course I celebrate with my favourite couple 😏 😉

Sam and Darlin sharing a big ol smooch lol I’m not sure what possessed me to put them both in flannel 🤣 you can see on Sam where I gave up 😆

Excited to get more drawings out!!

[akirathedramaqueen]

There's one piece of concept art that made me see the entire Apology Tour disaster in a different light.

So, we've been talking with @warblogs17282 about Stolitz and how their break-up ended up playing out in the 'Apology Tour' episode.

Why ended up? Well, there's a collection of concept art which, to my limited understanding of this craft, is one of the first steps in the production process of animation. This post by @birdy-babe includes a great chunk of it, shared by artists after the episodes aired (like storyboards, but much more stylised, showing how different some original ideas were). Long story short, one of the concept arts from the 'Apology Tour' episode suggests their quarrel was originally meant to be much harsher.

A short summary of the concept art to see what we are dealing with

In the background, you see a lot of apology postcards and silly cutesy stationery, suggesting Blitzø is in the middle of his Apology Tour.

The contact name isn't 'Stols' but 'Bird Dick,' implying their relationship is at an earlier stage, with less respect—at least on Blitzø's part.

There's a photo partially cut by the edge of the messages screen. From the signature gloves and boots, cowboy hat covering Blitzø's private parts, and visible nipples, it appears to be a nude image—replaced in later stages of development with stupid gay affirmation memes (as hard as it is to believe, I couldn't imagine there could be anything worse than the Striker horse gay jokes... well, it could, my dudes, it fucking COULD).

There are three messages, one of which is unsent:

"Stolas, cum awwwwwwn, u no u want it :)"—likely attached to the nude;

"Dude just talk to me"—desperation crawls in; he finally realises the shit has hit the fan;

"Im sowwy :("—an apology, but the text remains unsent, perhaps because it seems pointless, given that the 'Not Delivered' notifications and warning signs indicate Stolas has blocked his number.

Why do I find this fascinating, and why does it fill me with immense hope?

Because they still fucking care so much, and neither has completely closed the door on the other. By comparing the concept art to the final product, you can see how many intentional choices were made in dialogue, visuals, and behaviour to make it clear that these two idiots still want things to continue. Stolitz is meant to fucking live.

Now, if you want to see some comparisons—evidence, really—let's dive into each other's changes, focusing on what we can gather from the concept art.

Blitzø's side

Change 1—thank gods, no nudes. The gay memes are sillier and a bit lighter. Of course, they still showcase utter disrespect, a horrible prejudice against sexuality, and a poor understanding of how deeply Stolas was hurt, but I find them... less bad.

Change 2—no more 'Bird Dick.' Blitzø has actually come up with a real nickname for Stolas! Feelings are boring for you, huh, Blitzø? I can almost hear the song’s lines: "O-oh, hooked, addicted you might say, conflicted in a way…"

Change 3—Blitzø's attempts to apologize now show much more contemplation. Since Stolas hasn’t blocked him, Blitzø knows his words aren’t just being thrown into the void. Although the 'unsent' detail remains, it now carries real weight and impact.

All three changes are seen in these two GIFs.

He knows he did wrong. He knows he wants to salvage it. He might not yet know how to do it healthily, but he tries—he tries so fucking hard!

Look at the range of raw, cutting emotions as he speaks to Stolas and finally delivers his apology—probably the only one he genuinely meant. Well, maybe except for Verosika, a bit later.

It's not that it's hard for Blitzø to say 'sorry'—we've seen him do it a lot lately. He's actually quick to apologise and take responsibility, so Stolas's remark about him not feeling any remorse couldn’t be further from the truth. But the fact that he isn't running away this time—chasing after Stolas and trying his best to mend things—is drastically different from how he treated Verosika back then.

Stolas's side

Here’s the moment that struck me deep. It’s the only change, since the concept art shows Blitzø’s POV, but it’s such a significant one.

Do you think Stolas has moved on? Do you think he’s done with Blitzø? Not convinced, even when he’s literally singing about still wanting Blitzø?

Well, here’s your proof—he didn’t block Blitzø. They scrapped that.

More than that, the entire interaction emphasizes that Stolas isn’t pushing Blitzø away for good.

How do I know this? Stolas is very insistent on using phrases like 'for now,' 'right now,' and 'now' throughout his attempts to tell Blitzø off.

Here are some citations:

"I was hoping my lack of 'ha-ha's' in response to the photos you sent me would be an indicator I didn't want to talk right now."

"Seeing you right now is hard!"

"I'm tired of this! I'm uncomfortable with how you're speaking to me now!"

Why is this so important? Because he isn’t asking Blitzø to leave him forever. All he’s asking for is time.

Even while hurt, Stolas gives Blitzø plenty of chances to explain himself civilly. Look at the hopeful glances each time Blitzø shows any glimpse of genuineness.

Stolas fucking hopes Blitzø will take back all the cruel things said and brash actions done.

You know, Stolas... I've spent the entirety of this morning listening to love ballads, and that was...

For what?! You want me to be like, "Oh sorry, this entire time I assumed the worst because I was convinced a prince could never love someone like me and I've let my self-hatred stop me from apologising to anyone I could ever care about!"

You see the furrowed brows and the sad look? Stolas hopes for the best... but gets the worst because Blitzø isn’t there yet.

I’d even go so far as to say Stolas is acutely aware that Blitzø uses his brashness as a shield to protect himself. He literally sang about it in 'Just Look My Way.'

Unless it's me? And no matter what in this world I could give, it's not enough to get through these walls you've conjured up to live.

So, what gives?

Is this the behaviour of people who want to give up on a relationship they still clearly hold dear?

No. Even when they’re angry, aggressive, hurt, or drunk, they still seek understanding and forgiveness. They continue to listen and try.

They might lack the skills and may choose the wrong time, place, or words to express what truly matters...

One person, scared of being rejected so much that he unconsciously conveys this message by saying, "You don’t have to stay here with me," and carrying it throughout the whole conversation...

The other, coming to terms with his feelings, admits them, and his fears, a bit too late—when his romantic interest is too drunk to comprehend anything…

And in both cases—self-loathing, self-hatred, doubts, scars, trauma… and a lack of hope.

But there is hope. No, this is reassurance, my folks.

You know when it's hardest to stay in a relationship? When it’s hardest to come and say, "I am sorry," when it’s hardest to still love the person?

When you’re hurt. When they’ve hurt you.

And, despite that, you still come to them and still want to talk to them.

If this isn’t ironclad evidence that this is more than just a fling or a couple of fun sex dates, I don’t know what is.

And the 'Apology Tour' fucking proves it, rather than ruins it. It only strengthens the point. It’s easy to live in happiness, but it’s so hard to go through it while you’re in pain. When you see them doing that, you realise it means everything to them.

Stolitz is to live.

[bunnygirllover45]

Long ass rant under the cut I apologize in advance.

I don't get why people interact with media they don't like, it's not only bad for your own mental health, people should let other people mind their business if they're not actively hurting nobody or spreading some hateful ideologies, I don't know if this is a hot take or not, but I think if you find any content you don't like in any social media, isn't better to just block people instead of leaving stupid comments that annoy the creator? Why is it my responsibility to block you when you can do it yourself?

I don't really like talking about these topics, but I always took the approach of just blocking people who send hate instead of replying to them with an equally bitter response, I don't want to lower myself to their level, I'm not here to interact with person or media I don't like, I come here to share what I enjoy. If I see someone I don't like in real life I don't go to them and attack them, I just simply ignore them, why shouldn't I do the same to people on the internet?

It's a little tricky to speak about these things because I don't upload the most morally correct content and my art is focused on dark yandere content, I'm aware that people will criticize that. I'll still approach the hate the same way I always do, because I think is the healthiest thing for both people, both me and the other end, I don't attack them back, and they don't see my content ever again.

Hopefully, this isn't too controversial, I don't want this to become a rant or anything, I just wanted to share my thoughts because I've been getting some nasty comments/asks lately, probably because my audience is growing and people from outside my usual followers are finding my content, or who knows. If anyone would like to share an opinion on this matter feel free to do so.

Is it okay to flag posts that romanticize bad stuff or push dangerous ideas to other people? yes, of course, you should totally do that, but I'm not here to spread any of that with my art, I just draw what I enjoy in fiction, I'm an adult trying to be responsible with the audience I have.

[lightupthemoon]

Maroon

Summary: You wished it could have lasted an eternity, and that made you ignore the signs. You knew it that night, when

she kissed you for the first time, and you knew it every night she looked into your eyes and told

you her deepest, darkest secrets. You knew you represented everything she had never wanted.

Pairing: Kate Bishop x Reader

Warnings: None, this is just angst.

Word Count: 4 K

Read on AO3

Author’s Note:

*tap tap* is this thing on? Well, hello! It's been a long, long time! Honestly, writer's block is a real thing, especially when you have two jobs and not enough time to daydream. Regardless, I made a promise to my friend @ittynyte, who made the awesome art for this, that I would write this for her birthday. It took me a year, but I delivered. Better late than never, right? I hope you enjoy it!

The light slipping through the curtains seemed rather blinding that morning. Perhaps it was the building headache that drilled through your brain. Maybe the ache that made itself present in your chest with every breath you took. You groaned, hating it.

You dragged yourself out of bed, the opposite side as empty as it had been the last couple of weeks. You tried not to look at it. You still couldn’t get used to the emptiness, even with time passing by.

Your freshly made black coffee alleviated the headache, but the deafening silence of your apartment only made you travel to simpler times. Your gaze fell into the wine-stained carpet that you had neglected to throw out and the incense marks left on the dark wood of your coffee table.

Even if you didn’t intend to, you could still picture it as clearly as it had happened yesterday.

“Okay, weirdos, I’m retiring to bed,” Cassie proclaimed, getting up from the couch despite the growing protests coming from the floor, where you and Kate sat. She had her back against the opposite loveseat, your feet on her lap while you used the cushions as pillows on the floor, both tipsy.

“Cass, it’s only–” Kate started, lifting her wrist to her face to see the hour, squinting her eyes. “Oh, crap. It’s 4 a.m.”

“Exactly.” Cassie retorted, grabbing her phone and her blanket from the couch she was on. “Some of us actually do want to sleep, okay?”

“Party pooper.” You said, matter-of-factly. Cassie only rolled her eyes, throwing a kiss in your direction.

“Don’t finish my wine!”

You and Kate made a similar sound in response, before looking at each other and exploding into giggles.

It wasn’t often that you spent time with Kate. Between your jobs, school, and her multiple sports practices, it was hard to hang out. And it was a shame, really, because you did enjoy Kate’s company. She was funny, and not bad to look at. She was brilliant, too, but not in a way that made you feel less than. No, her brilliance was something that not a lot of people gave her credit for. It was in the way she spoke so eloquently about the things she was passionate about. Like in that moment, starting a rant on why vinyl records were a much better way to capture audio than any other. You could have listened to her forever, go on about how listening to records was an immersive physical experience that simply could never be replicated. Almost like that moment, too.

“Simply the quality of the audio should be enough to choose vinyl!” Kate continued saying.  

“Streaming is more convenient, though,” you replied with a mischievous grin. “I can only press play on a silly little app on my phone and listen.”

Kate rolled her eyes, the tiniest of smiles drawn on her lips, pushing your feet off her lap to get up. “I can’t believe you just said that.”

“Where do you think you are going?” You asked, faking offense. “See? You can’t even defend your argument.”

“Shut up, I’m getting more wine,” Kate said, picking up your glass from the coffee table.

The bottle of red wine that Cassie left opened on the counter was already half-empty, and it wasn’t your first. You watched as Kate poured the wine into the glasses, a curl of long black hair falling into her perfectly sculptured face as she did so. You allowed yourself this momentary silence to admire her, from the curve of her nose to the shape of her lips. You never wonder why half the world seemed to be enthralled in that woman—you had experienced it firsthand, every time she was around. The light in her smile was enough to leave anyone breathless. However, you were aware that Kate Bishop was not the kind of person who would ever find it within herself to settle down. If anything, adrenaline was her lover, and danger was her spouse. Anything that kept her away from those things was merely a distraction.

You never let yourself daydream about her. But you would occasionally indulge in her beauty.

“I can prove it to you,” you heard Kate say as she returned to the living room, placing both glasses on the coffee table. She walked toward the TV stand, where Cassie kept all of her records, which had originally prompted the conversation. She kneeled in front of them, lightly brushing the spine of the covers as she lowly murmured the names on them to herself. After a little while, a small ‘aha’ escaped Kate’s lips, pulling a record.

“Katherine,” you called her in a whisper-yell. “Cassie literally just went to sleep.”

Kate scoffed, not even bothering to look your way as she pulled the record from its case and placed it as carefully as possible on the record player. “Please, she’s probably knocked out by now. She won’t hear us.”

You shook your head in disapproval, reaching for your wine glass, with a faint smile dancing on your lips. The soft sound of a male voice, accompanied by a soft bassline and high hats in the background started filling the room. You watched Kate smile satisfied as you took a sip of your wine, the dryness reminding you why you actually preferred the cheap rosé Cassie liked. She hummed along to the music, swaying side to side a bit as she walked toward you.

“Do you hear that? How clear every instrument is?” Kate said with a grin. “You can’t tell me you get that from Apple Music.”

“Who do you think I am?” You replied, the laugh present in your voice. “I use Spotify, doofus.”

“Even worse.” Kate sighed, grabbing her wine and extending her free hand in your direction.

You arched your eyebrows, skeptical. “Hello to you too?”

The brunette rolled her eyes, but her hand never faltered. “Dance with me.”

The question took you by surprise, but not more than your own hand moving forward to take hers without even thinking about it. She pulled you off the couch, spilling a bit of wine onto the carpet. You would have winced at it on any other occasion, but you had no mental capacity for anything other than Kate. She flushed your body to hers, her hand leaving yours to rest on your waist, yours finding its way to her shoulder while the swaying continued.  

“How is dancing going to prove your point?” You managed to say, thankful your voice didn’t register the sudden anxiety that started filling your body.

Kate shrugged, sipping at her wine. The glint in her eyes made them seem even bluer, an endless sea full of wonder. “It just felt like a good idea.”

A huff escaped you, unable to stop the smile on your lips because, of course, Kate would say that. You heard her start humming the song again, her head moving slightly side to side in the same motion the both of you did. There was something in the air, unspoken, lingering, and you were far too nervous to speak. You weren’t sure you would have been able to if you tried. The smile didn’t leave your lips, and she never took her eyes off yours.

A good minute into the song, she looked at you with an arched brow, mischief written all over her face. “Do you feel it yet?”

“What?”

“The music in your veins.”

You rolled your eyes, but you would be lying if you said you weren’t feeling… something. She didn’t have to know that, though. “It feels the same to me.”

Fond exasperation exuded from Kate, pressing her forehead to your shoulder in what was seemingly a move of defeat. “Come on, Y/N. Don’t do this to me.” For some reason, your heart fluttered at the sound of your name. “It’s like–” Kate started, pulling back to look at you again. “It’s like when you kiss someone you have been wanting to kiss for a long time. Everything feels like there’s a show of fireworks exploding inside you.” You saw the question in her gaze as she brought her glass up to her lips. “Do you know that feeling?”

You scrunched up your nose. “Honestly?” You shook your head, looking at the floor. “I don’t think anyone has ever made me feel like that.”

Her eyes widened in surprise, her movements so fast that the glass of wine she held in her hands slipped, just enough to get some of it on your shirt. You gasped at the cold liquid sticking your shirt to your skin, while Kate cursed under her breath, moving her glass as far away from you as she could.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” She exclaimed. “I was just not expecting that. Lemme just—”

Kate hurriedly grabbed the glass from your hands, and placed both cups back on the table, before attempting to head back into the kitchen to get something to clean you up. Nevertheless, you grabbed her hand at the last minute, already missing the heat of her body next to yours. She looked back at you, confused.

“The song isn’t over, Bishop.”

The faintest shade of surprise shadowed her features, but she returned to where she had previously been, her hands firmly holding your waist. You weren’t entirely sure if the goosebumps you felt were caused by her firm grip, or the cold liquid still rolling down your skin. But somewhere deep within you, you knew you would hate yourself forever if you broke the moment. If you left whatever this was slip through your fingers.

Absentmindedly, you wrapped your arms around her neck, and that seemed to bring Kate out of whichever trance she was in.

“That is a nice shirt I just ruined,” Kate muttered, still looking apologetic, and unable to contain the scarlet creeping across her cheeks. “I’m so sorry.”

“What, this old thing?” You said, resting its importance. “I was going to throw it out soon, anyways.” A smirk appeared on your face. “Besides, I’ll say it was well worth it to see the almighty Katherine Elizabeth Bishop blushing up a storm.”

Kate shook her head in disapproval, the confidence returning to sapphire blue. “Yes, well, in my defense, it was half your fault. How are you going to reveal something like that and expect me not to react?”

“I honestly don’t see what’s the big deal.”

“It’s just–” Kate sighed. “The type of thing everyone should experience at least once.”

The air felt thicker, for some reason. “Explain it to me, then. How does that feel?”

 “Well,” she started, her voice now softer. “The moment right before it, there’s something in the air. Almost tangible, like electricity.” You didn’t miss the glint in her eyes, nor the glance she gave at your lips before licking her own. “You become very aware of your surroundings, of the feeling of warmth around you.”  You were not sure if you were just imagining things, but the gap between you just seemed smaller. “And your skin tingles, wondering if it is everything you’ve always thought it’d be.”

You didn’t know why, but you closed your eyes. You never let yourself daydream about her, but it would be a lie to say you said you never wondered what it would be like to kiss her. “And then what happens?”

“Fireworks.”

You hated to admit it, but she was right. After Kate pressed her soft lips against your own, the fireworks appeared. You couldn’t even describe how you felt after that night, but you were sure your life had been turned upside down.

You tried to play it off as a drunken spur-of-the-moment at first. Getting drunk and making out with your friends was part of the college experience, after all. Nevertheless, that kiss was the first of many to follow, all of them in secret, each hungrier than the one before. Kate Bishop became a constant in your life after that night, as if she was on a mission to help you find that spark you had been missing. And you found it, time and time again, in urgent kisses and impatient brushes of skin. On marks left in your collarbones; in the sound of your name escaping her mouth when you touched her where she needed you most. She was your drug, and you were at her mercy.

You wished it could have lasted an eternity, and that made you ignore the signs. Despite spending almost every night in your bed, it was rare for you to see her outside the four walls of your apartment. Despite knowing the sounds she made when she reached the highest point of ecstasy, you had never held her hand in public. And despite all your friends knowing about your arrangement, she never dared to bring it up to any of them. What you had existed in the shadows, far away from everyone’s reach.

Even your own. 

Your phone chimed on the counter, a steady stream of messages appearing on the screen. Exhaling heavily, you picked it up, finally opening the thread you had been ignoring for a few days. Your friend group chat kept going off, probably for the finishing touches of the farewell party they were throwing over the weekend. Cassie, America, and Kate were heading west, leaving their entire lives behind to follow their dreams. They had even asked Peter to go with them, to make it a bit easier to start a new life surrounded by friends. The boy, however, had decided to stay home in New York, saying how he couldn’t even imagine his life without MJ with no hint of hesitation in his voice. As happy as you were for your friend, you couldn’t say that it didn’t hurt that Kate couldn’t even look at you when he said that.

Now, you weren’t naïve, you always knew where this was headed. You knew it that night, when she kissed you for the first time, and you knew it every night she looked into your eyes and told you her deepest, darkest secrets. You knew you represented everything she had never wanted. Even if, at times, it seemed like what you had could be something she wanted, she had a plan that she wouldn’t let go of. Kate Bishop would never give up a life of adrenaline and danger for a quiet life with you.

Despite knowing that, it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

It hurt when she told you she was leaving. It hurt when she never asked you to go with her. It hurt that she wanted to keep you until she was no longer there.

Your phone chimed again, vibrating in your hand and snapping you out of your thoughts. You looked down at the screen just in time to see your name appear in the chat.

Cassie – Y/N, are you coming to the party?

America – Of course she’s coming. She’s not letting us go before saying goodbye.

America – Right, bestie?

Peter – Yeah, Y/N, it will be so much fun! We can bully them for leaving us behind!

You sighed, your fingers hovering on the screen as you thought of a reply. As far as they were concerned, not showing up to their party would have been the highest of treasons. They were your best friends in the world, how could you possibly miss it? But if you were honest with yourself, you were not up to it, especially knowing Kate would be there. You had successfully avoided her since calling off the agreement and you had no intention of seeing her before she left.

If she wanted to pretend it had meant nothing, you could do that too.

You – Sorry, guys, working ☹ But have fun, and swing by before leaving! <3

You rolled your eyes as you added a kissy emoji at the end but sent the text anyway. It was immediately seen by three out of the six people in the group, followed by a new stream of reactions and replies that you didn’t have the willpower to pay attention to. You turned on ‘do not disturb’ and placed the phone face down on the counter, before heading into the living room to find a distraction on TV.

---

After many hours of watching several episodes of your comfort show, a loud knock on the front door startled you. You stared at the door with narrowed eyes for a moment, unsure if it had really happened or if you had just imagined the sound. As much as Cassie and America loved you, they had been so wrapped up in their move you could not imagine they would show up at your door, despite your earlier text. Another knock followed, more impatient this time.

“Coming!” You yelled, throwing the blanket off your body and getting up from the couch with a groan.

Whoever was behind the door didn’t insist, giving you enough time to pick up some food wrappers off the coffee table and throwing them in the trash. After running your fingers through your hair in an attempt to make it look better than it did from a whole day of lounging in the living room, you pulled the door open, your heart dropping to the floor the moment you saw who was disturbing your peace.

Kate Bishop, in the flesh, blue eyes shinier than ever.

You contained the desire to slam the door in her face. You just wouldn’t give her the satisfaction.

You rolled your lips, standing as tall as your frame allowed you, your chin slightly tipped upward.

“What are you doing here?”

Kate gave you one of her characteristic smirks, shrugging nonchalantly as if this was just another casual meeting. It infuriated you.

“You said to swing by before leaving, so…” She dragged the final ‘o’, her voice causing a disturbance within you that you weren’t sure how to describe.

You rolled your eyes. “That wasn’t meant for you, so!” You exclaimed, attempting to close the front door before she stopped it with her foot.

“Come on, Y/N, I just want to talk.” Kate replied, her voice now sounding more serious. “I brought a peace offering.”

Reluctantly, you flung the door open again, setting your gaze on the bouquet of flowers she was holding, pressed to her classic purple sweatshirt. Her smirk turned into a dashing smile, and you hated your heart for reacting at the mere sight of her.

“You said they were your favorite.”

You couldn’t help the bitter laugh that escaped you.

“Those are carnations,” you said, the tone of disbelief apparent in your voice.

Kate furrowed her eyebrows, bewildered. “They are not. They are roses.”

You rolled your eyes, walking back inside your apartment. Maybe it was immature to hate that she couldn’t remember your favorite flowers, but you did. At this point, you hated Kate Bishop as much as you loved her.

That is what hurt the most.

“Y/N, wait!” Kate exclaimed, closing the door behind her as she followed you. You felt the warmth of her skin through the fabric of your shirt as she reached for you, her touch as electrifying as when you danced in that very living room.

“Why did you come?” The words escaped your lips without intention.

“I told you,” Kate replied. “I just want to talk.”

“But why?” You dropped your hands to your side, the bitterness now seeping into your voice. “Why can’t you just go and leave me alone?”

“Because we–”

“No, Kate, there is no ‘we.’ You don’t want me. Stop stringing me along.”

Kate put down the flowers on the coffee table, her eyes dimming. “That is not true.”

“What’s not true?” You retorted, exasperated. 

“That I don’t want you.”

You scoffed. “Oh, please, stop lying. You are leaving, Kate, not me!”

“I know, Y/N, okay? I know!” Kate sounded just as exasperated as you were. She covered her face with her palms, sighing as heavily as the words resounded across the room. “I know I hurt you and I will regret it forever.” She furiously wiped a tear from her cheek, as if she did not want you to see her like that. “It just doesn’t mean I don’t want you. I just wish I didn’t.”

The words rang in your ears, like a drum to the beat of your heart. What did it matter now? She would still leave. “Kate, just go. I don’t want to do this.”

“Listen to me.”

She walked into your space, her palms finding your waist. Your body reacted to her touch naturally, your fist falling on the top of her chest without meaning to.

“Stop...” You pleaded. She closed the gap between you, the tip of her nose almost touching yours.

“I want you so bad these last few days without you have been a torture. I wish I didn’t want you because then...” She hesitated for a second, her voice stuck in her throat. “It wouldn’t be so hard to leave.”

You wanted to hate her. You wanted to break free from her grip, move on from everything she made you feel. But you were powerless. Your body wasn’t your own. It was only an extension of the rage and sorrow and love coursing through your veins. Without thinking about it, you grabbed her cheeks, making those watery sapphire eyes glance back at you.

“Why are you so set on leaving?” You inquired, genuinely. “You don’t have to. You can stay and be everything you want to be here—with me.”

Kate pressed her cheek to your palm, closing her eyes as she shook her head. It was only then that you felt it. The way her pain mirrored yours. Two different sides of the same coin.

“I can’t,” she simply said, making it clear there was no room for question.

The decision had been made and nothing you said would change it.

Silence overcame you both, a far cry from that night full of laughter and drunken haziness that started everything. It wasn’t often that you dared to question how things have gotten this way, but in that moment, wrapped in the quiet and sorrow and everything this woman made you feel, it was inevitable. You wanted to encapsule the last few months in a snow globe, a safe keep for these memories that would haunt you for as long as you lived.

Kate pressed her forehead to yours, the tips of your noses brushing slightly. You could feel her breath on your lips, the essence of her empowering you.

“Y/N, I want you. I couldn’t leave without making sure you knew that.”

Your lips were trapped in hers before you could even have a chance to think. Your mouth molded perfectly with hers, your arms wrapping around her neck in a simple notion. As much as your brain was screaming at you to not get lost in her, this would be all you would have left. Once she left, the memory of the taste of her lips was all you could cling to. And it was as natural as breathing, following the pace she was setting. Perhaps it was foolish, and it went against everything you had said, but that was all you needed then. For a moment, everything else disappeared.

As all things do, the kiss died down slowly. You pulled away reluctantly under Kate’s expectant gaze. You exhaled deeply, trying to retain the last thread of sanity left in your body. You let go of her, feeling the weight of reality upon your shoulder all of a sudden. You closed your eyes, trying to keep the tears at bay.

“Y/N...” Kate whispered, carefully, and the sound of her voice popped the bubble.

You took a step back, pulling her away from you. “Kate,” you said. “You need to go.”

You didn’t dare to open your eyes to watch her go. You had done it once, when she told you for the first time that she would be leaving. You had no interest in doing so again. You heard the fading steps, the opening and closing of a door. You heard the rumbling in your chest, and you felt the shaking of your shoulders as pain finally overcame you.

You had lost her.

And there was no turning back.

[notmorbid]

woman, eating.

dialogue prompts from woman, eating: a literary vampire novel by claire kohda.

people have appalling night vision.

i've marked crosses where you need to sign.

where did you say you live? anywhere near ____?

you hate me, don't you?

you won't make it without me.

it's hard to know what's real with you.

i did everything for you. everything was for you.

i don't like eating alone.

god wouldn't want to help a demon survive, and that's what we are.

this place is beyond new beginnings.

what do you see yourself as?

demon is a subjective term.

i'm not very good at goodbyes. or any form of greeting, actually.

how are you? i miss you. i want to hear about your life.

everything in everyone's life is temporary.

just imagine i'm dead.

people are like flowers: seasonal, wilting, and finite.

am i the only other person who can see you?

it sounded like you were dragging a body across the floor.

we cannot have any more catastrophe.

don't talk back to me.

my body isn't mine. it isn't a good fit for me.

you were very human. that was what i liked about you.

you never told me how ___ died.

i have to do everything for you, don't i?

give it time. you just haven't found yourself yet.

i don't really get contemporary art.

i'm trying to figure out what i want to do with my life.

how come you stopped ____?

what does the winner get?

it's kind of like being a kid again.

i don't want to be walking too late.

just be careful.

watch out for ___.

we're the same.

sorry if i said anything bad or embarrassing.

everything looks different, but it's hard to pinpoint how.

i like your look.

will you swap with me? can i be you for a bit?

i guess i feel small. undervalued.

it's hard to see what's beautiful anymore.

taking is not good for the soul.

what are you doing? lost?

did i make you feel bad?

i feel like i've been standing completely still.

i'm not sure what i feel when i look at you.

sorry. i'm not good at talking about it.

what are you going to do?

i'm really sorry about the ____.

when you left, you took something of me with you.

i'm sorry. i don't know what's wrong with me.

life is a line, not a circle.

i think i like you.

i don't want to feel at home in the dark.

take me with you. please.

i can't take you with me.

memories make life.

move away. i'm dangerous.

i don't know who i am anymore.

are you high or something?

i don't think i ever hated you.

can i do anything to help?

i wish i could be honest.

i don't want to bring you down with me.

i can't tell what it is i want.

the other night was a mistake.

you don't like me?

i am completely alone.

will you let me in?

i think i've known for a while.

you can't just listen to one side and block out the other.

neither side of me can be separated from the other.

i don't have sides at all. i am two things that have become one thing.

are you okay? do you need help getting home?

i'm not sure what i am anymore.

for the first time, i feel like i'm exactly where i'm meant to be.

this feels like the first time i've really seen you.