#reagan doing art things I guess

[reagan-the-saunders]

The Befeathered Boi

[rivetgoth]

I feel like part of what’s kinda wild to me about the weird “born in the wrong generation but in an alternative 80s punk goth queer way” crowd that idolizes this nonexistent 80s that was like a goth alt GNC queer safehaven is that without fail every time I actually talk to older goths or other older alt people or even just older queer or nonwhite people who were actually there in the 80s they’re IMMEDIATELY like “oh you were NOT missing out hahaha.” Like at best the coolest things they’ll talk about is getting to see some OG alt bands live in their prime or getting to see a cool movie in theatres, that IS genuinely cool, like major jealousy to anyone who got to actually witness Skinny Puppy or Ministry live in the 80s ykwim, but literally ALL of these people will then immediately start talking about how much people sucked, how much mainstream culture sucked, etc. It was literally Reagan-era AIDS crisis. Dystopian literature took off for a reason. Racism was a massive society-wide issue. War on drugs was in full swing. Even just the insanely racialized pushback against disco during that time is of note tbh. Massive brand commercialization was getting worse and worse. Whenever I talk to gay people from that era they express so much relief about how much the world has improved since then. I was talking to an older woman in her 50s who’s been in the goth scene since the 80s who was saying that back in the day if she went out dressed in her goth clothes she was called a faggot on the street. I remember her jokingly being like “well at least they were saying it to me and not actual gay people I guess haha…” There are aspects of 80s culture, especially 80s subculture and counterculture, that I really really enjoy, obviously, and certain sentiments surrounding big art trends of the time that I love, but it’s just kind of ridiculous to me that YEARS after collectively mercilessly mocking the trend of white girls saying they miss the 50s while ignoring the fact that Stonewall and the civil rights movement hadn’t happened yet, no-fault divorce didn’t exist, and lobotomies were still acceptable, I’m seeing posts nearly daily on this site that are like “well if I had been born in the 80s art would be good and music would be good and there’d be a queer alt community for me, but instead I was born in the tiktok poser generation 💔” like girl I’m sorry but you ARE the tiktok poser. Get offline and go FIND your community. Your issue is not that you were born in the wrong generation, you literally just do not know how to find modern underground subculture. Because it is underground.

[batboyblog]

I feel like some people can't be/refuse to be educated, or they're deliberately being obtuse because they're trolls, psyops, or they just fell for the trolls and psyops. But its still good to point out where they're wrong and to give actual, you know, facts, for the benefit of other people reading who might actually be reachable.

yeah, I mean I usually ignore them because usually its bad faith and when a post is getting hundreds even thousands of notes in a day you just can't keep up with the 10-20-ish people who say something, particularly if its in the tags because thats just hard or fighting in the replies which always feels weird

But I was in a bad mood and in general seeing the same either bad faith or straight up don't know comment over and over and over again is very annoying

the "lol Joe Biden didn't do anything about Student loans!" one is pretty annoying since Biden has forgiven well over 100 BILLION dollars worth of student loan debt, so like he has done a lot on student loan debt. I'm not a big deal but I remember I did one of my "what Biden did this week" posts and it had the student loan debt forgiveness for people who got defrauded by the Art Institutes, and a few people added their stories of being defrauded and being in debt to AI for years and the one that'll stay with me was an older guy who went to try to get a new degree to get a job in a different field kinda late in the game, his 50s or 60s and of course didn't get the jobs he hoped for because scam college and saying how he thought he'd die in debt and it was all gone, all forgiven. So just like people flippantly dismissing a very real life changing thing is very annoying

there are a few other very common annoying ones "why didn't he do this when he controlled congress before!" well he was busy passing the biggest climate change bill any government on earth has ever done, investing in our Infrastructure for the first time since before Reagan was President (Reagan 😒) listen Biden passed 4 of the biggest most transformationally progressive bills the US has seen since LBJ

American Rescue Plan

Bipartisan Infrastructure Law

CHIPS and Science Act

Inflation Reduction Act

on top of which he passed the first gun control law out of congress in 30 years, and other things, like the Respect for Marriage Act to protect gay marriage, or making Juneteenth a federal holiday (the first new federal holiday since MLK day in 1983)

SO! thats why he didn't do the things he wants to do in his next term he was busy doing equally (and in the case of climate change more important) things and thats why we should all be hopeful if Joe Biden is President with a Democratic Congress he'll get most if not ALL the things on his agenda done, because he's fucking good at this, we haven't had a President this good at pushing bills through Congress and using every switch and lever of the federal government to make major progressive change since LBJ or FDR, I guess his big mistake was naming it something boring like "Inflation Reduction Act" and not something sexy like "New Deal" or "Great Society"

sorry to go off on a tare there, but its just frustrating to see 40 (out of tens of thousands really) posts saying the same dumb shit and having no real way to respond

[thesewildreams]

tagged by @tausendsorgen - thanks for trying again, friend! 🙂

Last song: The Kintsugi Kid (Ten Years), Fall Out Boy

Currently watching: I guess the thing I like the most right now is Strange Planet... It's such a *nice* show!

Currently reading: I'm almost finished with It Was Vulgar and It Was Beautiful: How AIDS Activists Used Art To Fight A Pandemic,, by Jack Lowery. I've been reading this off and on for like, a year? It's excellent. It's also infuriating and horrifying and so so sad. Fuck Ronald Reagan. It didn't have to be this way.

In lighter reads:

I recently finished Lessons in Chemistry, by Bonnie Garmus (I loved it), and now I'm listening to The Surgeon's daughter, by Audrey Blake. Plus the two dozen series I'm also in the middle of... I love reading! Books have always been my greatest escape. :)

When I was little my mom read to me a lot and taught me to read on my own pretty early, and even though I think she mostly did it in self-defence (she could basically plop me down anywhere after that with a snack and a couple of books and I would read for hours and hours), I will always be grateful.

Current obsession: I've been completely obsessed with making these little stuffed kitties for a couple of weeks, and then one day I realized I'd made seventeen of them and like, I think they've maybe started multiplying on their own? I'm not sure, but I think the safest thing to do at this point is to stop. I just can't quite seem to do it.

tag nine people you want to catch up with/get to know better: @doitninetimes @stephaknee @thedustatdawn @thedustatdawn @fleur-aesthetic @followthebluebell @brendaonao3 @viewparadise @sperrywink -- if you feel like it!

[boricuacherry-blog]

I'm very much a California girl. I grew up in Long Beach, then moved to San Pedro, which was very multicultural. And my stepfather was Thai and Hawaiian. I do have a musical family, my [biological] dad was in a barbershop quartet and my mom had a lovely voice, which I of course didn't inherit. I was really athletic - I played handball in school and beat all the boys twice before the bell rang - and I had a lot of anger I needed to get out, so I figured I would play the drums. I wound up playing in bands within three weeks of starting to play. Thankfully my family was encouraging. I always wanted to be an artist. There was this gallery near our house and they use to offer oil painting lessons. And I was really into that. That was really my jam.

When I heard punk rock, it had a really big impact on me. I was like, Woah, you can do that? In high school, these girls invited me to go see The Rocky Horror Picture Show and Pink Flamingos. Then you start meeting other people, you know, the guys from Red Cross, and The Stingers [a Longbeach band], because they were also seeing the movies. There was a definite crossover with, you know, punk rock and John Waters movies.

Some of the bands I really liked going to see in Hollywood were like, The Weirdos, and X. I really loved X so much. I copied Exene's hair, with just the bangs and kind of like the egg running down your head of different colors, as if you just cracked an egg of colors down your hair. I also liked The Alleycats - God there were so many bands at that time - Nervous Gender - The Bags. I also listened to a lot of Neil Young and Nick Cave and the bad seeds.

I played in a punk band that was like an art punk band. One of my first bands was called Sexually Frustrated. The two girls that were in it were little people [midgets] and you know, I'm like six foot tall. So it was like a visual thing on top of what we were doing. I was also in a band called IUD with the same two women. We were playing with The Omelettes at Camarillo State Hospital. You know, it was very arty, and there were like saxophones.

I met Courtney [Love] through a friend and she wanted me to be the drummer in a band she was starting. Courtney really wanted to make good songs. I don't think I'd ever played in bands where the words were really revealing anything of yourself - the emotional part of being a woman. I really responded to her lyrics. It's like Courtney was speaking for me in a way I couldn't for myself. The words really tapped into something. Pretty On the Inside really spoke to me - all the horrible stuff in my childhood, the dynamics in my family and with other people - that song just really, really spoke to me. I think I wrote a lot of my drum parts to accent what she was saying in the songs. I would, like, ride the cymbal, but make it sizzle - like Rat Scabies from The Damned, he would do that alot. I'm a very emotional drummer. I'm not the timekeeper metronome type of drummer.

When Jill [Emery] joined, that was when Lisa Roberts had left. Courtney let her go because she was threatening the owner of a club with a screwdriver when they didn't pay us. It turned out the owner was the wife of Eddie Nash, the infamous gangster, so Courtney was like, "No she has to go." And Courtney had already been in acting, so she knew all the Hollywood rigmarole.

I wasn't as into Pearl Jam - I was more into Mudhoney. I really liked the garage rock and Iggy Pop - kind of that Detroit thing.

Babydoll [from Pretty on the Inside] was about Madonna. Courtney saw her driving a Mercedes and didn't like it. Courtney worshipped Madonna though. I think that was her playbook. She wanted to be the rock version of Madonna.

I guess it could be said that grunge owes a lot of its existence to Reagan. We were deep in Reagan's America at the time, with the hypocritical values at the time.

Around the time Courtney got pregnant, I was also pregnant, but didn't realize it at the time. I'd had the flu for weeks, and Eric [Erlandson] goes, "Maybe you're pregnant." And it turns out I was. And unfortunately, my relationship at the time was breaking apart because I was always gone [on tour with Hole]. I got a voice-mail on my answering machine that I was being let go from the band, and this was after Eric had already given me money for an abortion. Courtney was telling me we were gonna be playing with Sonic Youth in November in Japan, so she didn't think me being pregnant was going to be good with me playing drums. So I thought, OK, as part of my career move, I'm going to have the abortion. And then she just kicked me out anyway.

I was actually kicked out three times, which a lot of people don't know. Courtney chastised me in the middle of a show because she thought I wasn't playing fast enough. I felt she was publicly humiliating me, so I threw a drumstick at her head. She was mad and kicked me out. Then it was like, OK you can come back if you just do Slimfast and cigarettes and then play drums everyday and do drum lessons. She really liked how I played, but she wanted me to play perfectly, like a Dave Grohl. So I would just comply - I lost weight, etc.

There were a lot worse experiences I had with Courtney, like her telling me, 'I made you,' and stuff like that, like saying I needed to do whatever she wanted at any given moment because 'I didn't even belong here.' So it feeds on your insecurities. That's what manipulative people do. It just got more and more tense that way.

And I mean at first she would, like, spend the night and we would pig out on Entenmann's and watch like weird videos, and have fun like that, but you know, now I realize what she was doing - she was trying to learn all my Achilles heels. And then she would just press on those things when she wanted me to do something.

Courtney was really smart. She was a speed reader - I mean she went to Montessori school - so she's a fascinating person.

Kurt's funeral was intense. There were about 50 people, not a lot of people there. It was Kurt's family, the Sub Pop family, and just all the people he knew. I was around Kurt, but I didn't really know him. We had very few private moments and unfortunately we did not get to be friends. I went to his apartment one time and he was in his pajamas and I sat on their bed. And he was excited to tell me he had a dream about me. He goes, 'We were in Aberdeen and we were riding bikes in my neighborhood,' and I was asking questions and he was telling me about it. And Courtney was standing in the hallway, very Bette Davis, smoking a cigarette, and she goes, 'Well he needs some female friends, but not you, your tits are too big.' And I was engaged to be married, so I don't think she thought I was flirting with him. And then he just looked at his feet, really ashamed. And I left shortly after that. But I'm proud of what we created.

-Caroline Rue, original drummer for Hole

[everygame]

Trinity (PC)

Developed/Published by: Infocom Released: 9/5/1986 Completed: 18/08/2023 Completion: Finished it. 100/100. Trophies / Achievements: n/a

Oppenheimer fever has long subsided by the time you’re reading this, and to be fair, had subsided by the time I finally booted up Trinity, but it was seeing Christopher Nolan’s surprisingly human film in 70mm IMAX that led to me skipping forward a few months in 1986 to play this, Infocom and Brian Moriarty’s attempt to grapple with the history of the atomic bomb from the context of the ongoing cold war (although by 1986 it was beginning to thaw, with Mikhail Gorbachev in power and Reagan already three years out from having his mind significantly changed by a screening of The Day After.)

Trinity in many ways is a companion to Steve Meretzky’s A Mind Forever Voyaging, in that it accepts that all art is political and is trying to be something deeper than even Infocom have attempted. But it also stands in contrast to it: A Mind Forever Voyaging is essentially puzzle-less and “realistic” whereas Trinity is absolutely an adventure game, packed with puzzles and fantasy locations.

Both games have their proponents and detractors (The Digital Antiquarian, interestingly, is a Trinity man) but I’ll be honest: for me, there’s probably a middle-ground that I’d like a bit more. Because Trinity falls into the major problem that I always seem to have with Infocom games: you don’t know what to do, or why you would do it.

It is, absolutely, the fact that I’m playing these in my spare time in 2023 rather than, you know, having put down the equivalent of $100 or whatever in 1986 to get a box with a lot of fun stuff in it, but I often wonder: did Infocom’s “Imps” simply believe players can and should work out what they’re supposed to be doing by repeated playthroughs, trial and error, failure, or was it the kind of thing that simply never occurred to them?

I supposed I’m being slightly unfair to Trinity. The game, after all, does begin with a simple vignette (you’re on holiday in London, trying to enjoy a day in Kensington Gardens before a nuke gets dropped on you/it–though you don’t know that yet) where you will quickly be driven to chase a roadrunner because… well, I guess because he’s there. It’s really only once you’re transported to a magical fantasy land full of mushrooms that you are faced with a complete lack of understanding.

Would it really have been so hard to express to the player what they’re trying to do? When I look at it… maybe. You see, in Trinity, you’re actually trying to travel to the famous Trinity experiment in order to… fiddle with the test so it… goes… right? It’s not exactly clear what the intention is, actually, but there’s a fair chance that it relates to something you might know about if you saw Oppenheimer–the theory that the bomb might have began a chain reaction that could not be stopped, igniting the earth’s atmosphere completely. The thesis of Oppenheimer, of course, is that it did, we just don’t know it yet. Trinity does not manage something as thematically clear–in fact, I’m not really sure what it’s saying in the end at all.

Anyway. To get to the experiment, you have to explore the fantasy land and use a sundial to open doors in mushrooms, each of which represents a nuclear explosion (a bit on the nose, but let’s allow it) that has occurred in the past or future (I do rather appreciate the imagery of the fantasy land where the mushrooms starts sparse, but grow into a tremendous forest; it’s rather chilling). This set-up is a bit of a mish-mash of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy with Moriarty’s earlier Wishbringer, and in some ways is the worst of both worlds: you’ve got a big ol’ map with puzzles to solve, but also each vignette needs to be solved, usually requiring things from puzzles you solved in the map. And, of course, you don’t know what any of those things are.

It’s actually rather easy to get to the “end” of the game (as in, the Trinity test site) but it’s unbelievably hard to work out what you’re supposed to do there. There are some really fun and logical puzzles in this (love a puzzle where you just tell someone or something to do something for you and they do it) and also some absolute stinkers, including pulling the old trick where if you look “at” something you’re practically told to ignore it, but if you search it you find something you desperately need. It’s not even logical at times–how was a screwdriver hidden like that???

Yes, this was one where I took a trip to the invisiclues more than I really wanted to, at least once because something I thought should work didn’t (of course, my solution would have ended up with me in a no-win situation because it ruined another item I needed…) and I think after A Mind Forever Voyaging, which is straight-forward both in design and theme, that I didn’t really get Trinity on either level frustrated me somewhat.

Which is not, really, to say that Trinity is bad. If–as I should have–I expected a Brian Moriarty adventure in the style of his previous, Wishbringer (of which I said, “Moriarty is more about giving the player a sense of place and feeling rather than a particularly deep narrative”) I think I’d have been largely fine with this, although still begging for more instruction. I think it’s simply that the whimsy in a context so serious doesn’t work for me here. A noble effort, none the less.

Will I ever play it again? I can’t imagine I would. There’s a time limit and tension to the climax of this that had me having to play it over about four times to get it right and that really wore thin enough I wouldn’t like to do it again.

Final Thought: I reference him fairly frequently but I have to note that The Digital Antiquarian went hog wild for this one writing like seven articles that discuss the atomic age in incredible detail and they’re wonderful context if, really, they only make Trinity’s themes feel ever more tenuous.

Support Every Game I’ve Finished on ko-fi! You can pick up a digital copy of exp. 2600, a zine featuring all-exclusive writing at my shop, or join as a supporter at just $1 a month and get articles like this a week early.

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

Might want to do a bit of reading about the Ramones. Several sources point to their anti-blackness and siding with white supremacy groups at their shows, as well as supporting presidents Reagan and Bush. Dee Dee was also a pedophile, grooming a sixteen year old when he was in his forties

Unsolicited but I am assuming well-meaning anon, thank you for the heads-up about the Ramones, but in case you could not tell from a very basic search of my blog, I do not give a shit about the Ramones - which is to say that I've never liked them or cared for their music and find them vastly overrated and mediocre, anyway - and the only time I ever intend to post about them is in relation to someone I certainly like better (who I, most likely, find quite a bit less overrated and mediocre). Nonetheless, it's good to know about their anti-blackness, although to be fair (not to them - just in general), that could very, VERY easily be said about almost any white artist (at the least; they would otherwise, of course, have to be rather vocally anti-racist!), which is not at all meant to be in their defense but is just to suggest, why single out the Ramones when this issue is rampant in all art forms? Honestly, it should be acknowledged in regards to everyone's white faves, and my white faves are no exception (though I am not, of course, at all saying that the Ramones are my faves. LOL I could not care less about them, except for the way their music was given far more credentials than women and non-white, and especially non-white women, in punk were ever given; THAT! I CARE A WHOLE FUCKING LOT ABOUT!! And I've posted about this before, although I will say, it does suck that my primary example is Patti Smith given her history of anti-blackness. I can certainly rethink who and how I laud those who spearheaded punk, but I also think there are lines to be drawn). Nonetheless, aligning themselves with white supremacy groups at their shows is FUCKED!!!! And that does make me consider the way my faves have associated themselves with the Ramones. Oh...*is now deeply unsettled* yeah, that's really fucked up. I will be thinking about that quite a lot more now, so thank you for that bit of information in particular. But also, *coughs* I have a song to share that speaks to that history of white supremacy in punk - from a very beloved folk singer, no less. :') (Brief, historical context for that, btw: she was in punk before she became a folk singer!! So she was there witnessing this stuff around that time - the late '70s and early '80s, which is exactly why it's relevant.)

Still! Despite my defensiveness, I do appreciate the heads-up about them, and I will gladly (I guess; just to be informed, because when did that ever hurt anyone...rhetorical question!) read about them as you suggested. So thank you for bringing that information to my attention, and if you have any recs about where to read more about them concerning their anti-blackness and association with white supremacy in particular, that'd be super helpful, but I'm never afraid of a little research, anyway.

Note: sorry to gloss over the "Dee Dee was a pedophile" bit, but...not that I am defending pedophiles in any area of anything whatsoever, but there have been far more pedophiles in areas of 'popular' music than just one of the Ramones and punk; there are people that we do not talk about (for this reason, or do so very carefully), or people who we still laud to this day, and probably always will, despite the fact that they were absolutely, 100% taking advantage of young people and children, and I'm sorry that I cannot sugarcoat that. My acknowledgment of this is not to say that we should not talk about them, nor do I think it's right to continue to give so much credit to people with so much fame, and thus power, let alone to give them more fame and power, when they've done such reprehensible things. Rather, I would like to suggest that we think about and discuss ways in which we can PREVENT things like fame, and proximity to fame (and thus power), from empowering these people (men, women, and people of any gender) to take advantage of children, young people, and young fans. Because that's a significant part of what has been happening for all these years, and it will continue if we do not consider ways to check famous people - and fame, in general - and those in power. (And if you happen to think of the whole J*ffr*y *pst*in situation, that's a great starting point! Let's consider the ways in which they're all connected, but in particular, WHY!!!)

[technicolor-dreamss]

Here’s my Phone Guy design that I forgot to post on tumble

His name is Scott Cawthon and the real Scott is his faceclaim because I thought it would be funny, I had a lot of fun cracking out the gouache and doing traditional art for the first time in ages, more info abt him under the cut

There isn’t much to Scott, he’s a very simple guy, grew up in a small town, raised Mormon, extremely repressed, working a dead end job because he’s a scab and loves Fazbear Entertainment, and harbors feelings for one of the owners. He’s very outgoing and friendly despite his stuttering problem. Yet he lives alone with a crusty white dog named Matthew, or Matt for short, (despite being a cat person) he adopted out of pity because he thought it was old and gonna die. (It didn’t.) I guess he has a soft spot for crusty white things that don’t die.

Fun facts:

- his mission was in London, which is why he has such an infatuation with British culture and why he likes Mr Afton so much

- he has stopped Fazbear Entertainment from unionizing multiple times

- He’s conservative lol he voted for Reagan and if he was alive today he’d be a Gays 4 Trump

- He has like 8 siblings because Mormon

- his favorite musician is Donny Osmond, he also listens to other country and easy listening music and white gospel, nothing with swear words though

- he dies a Virgin LOL

- he is 6’1

[offices-regionalbranch]

Hate when motherfuckers say the most reductive stupid braindead shit and I'm so fucking tired of the word "leftist"

Like first if all I'm starting to think people ONLY means like not racist now. Like it's a term to make neoliberals seem radicalized that's supposed to declare they aren't an absolute fucking Nazi or something. Second of all I should clarify I LOVE country, but calling an entire genre full of multitudes a "leftist genre" and then having your defense be that you took a shitty arts major class on it is dumb asl.

For example, look at this excerpt from "The Hardest Hate: A Sociological Analysis of Country Hate Music

So the "leftist genre" also contained a subgenre that was vehemently against anti segregation.

While not a country song in itself, Ahab the Arab was one of the first songs released by country singer and Cash contemporary Ray Stevens.

You can pluck many examples showing that country wasn't the weird progressive hivemind that teenagers who listen to Citations Needed (no hate to citations needed) and think they're now expert media analysts think it is. "Country was leftist and now it's not" is such a broad take, it ignores regressive themes in early country and how many fuckin solidly progressive country songs have come out over the past 29 years

Tyler Childers made an entire album with the point being "if the cops shot us for no reason y'all'd be shooting back with fifteen thousand different types of gun so if you complain about BLM protests you're a little bitchass" Sturgill Simpson has made a ton of songs that are clearly vehemently anti war. Not to mention that there's black and gay and latin country stars.

To close off I guess the final thing that bothers me is that people don't really do this shit to other genres in my eyes. Jazz was a "leftist genre" and now it's ridiculously expensive to see jazz live because the premise that it's a deviant community is gone. Or rock, in general, which was much more political en masse 50-60 years ago and now has lost a lot of that. Half of early hip-hop is "fuck Reagan" and now the U.S government will get someone to rap to kids about the dangers of tax evasion. It's almost as if in general music has been constantly separated from its more political basis over time, especially when that basis is against the status quo

Tl;dr if you say dumbshit ab country I'm pissing on your nan

[synthient]

So today I went “oh yeah, my university library/online database access is gonna be cut off soon. I’d better hurry up and research any last important topics I wanna know about”

.....and then I spent an hour doing very important 4Kids History Research

a summary:

It’s the 80s. Reagan-era deregulation has hit TV broadcasting, and most of the laws that used to limit the amount of kid-targeted advertising stations could air have been whooshed away.

Enter My Little Pony, Transformers, Care Bears, etc. And enter the company that will be 4Kids: Leisure Concepts Inc. 

Leisure Concepts is a “licensing company,” which evidently means “glorified toy marketer.” Their big claims to fame include: pitching Thundercats to Rankin Bass (and getting Thundercats toys into Burger King), and helping a mall outlet store set up its Budweiser Dog Mascot merch displays

Now it’s 1995, and the CEO of Leisure Concepts is openly, proudly talking about getting the company “vertically integrated” ajghalkhsg

Vertical integration was a form of Old Hollywood monopoly where companies like Warner Bros/MGM/Paramount owned the production (movie studios), exhibition (movie theaters), and distribution (advertising) of their movies. It was outlawed in the 50s for being Very Blatantly A Monopoly

But with all the Reaganism going on, I guess LC is confident they can get away with it lmao. They already have distribution/advertising, obviously, so they start working to assemble a production division. They’re thinking about calling it 4Kids Productions

At this point, Leisure Concepts has no intention of getting into the anime business. The first show they produce through their 4Kids arm is......a live-action Wrestlemania-style martial arts show???

Meanwhile, in 1997, a 4Kids employee takes a business trip to Japan for a toy convention, stumbles across the first few episodes of the Pokemon anime while he’s there, and goes “Dude. We could sell so many toys of this shit”

Leisure Concepts has apparently worked with Nintendo before (selling “Super Mario Bros. Christmas lights and ornaments” and “Game Boy shampoo” zkjgksgk), so they’re able to make a deal for the US licensing rights to Pokemon.

They still have zero intention of getting into anime dubbing. The deal they’re offering to the Pokemon Company is “We’ll find an American TV network for you to air your 20 minute toy ad (ahem) show on, set you up with some nice US toy companies, and take a percentage of the profits.”

But none of the networks they try selling Pokemon to want the Weird Japanese Animal Collecting Show. LC can’t accept that answer--they’re convinced, no matter what they naysayers think, that this is the toy-selling opportunity of the century

Finally, LC throws up their hands and goes “Fine! We have our own [brand-new, tiny] production company [that we’ve never used for anything besides making a bizarre campy martial arts show] now! If you idiots won’t take the show, we’ll dub it ourselves!”

And somehow, they manage it? They pull together enough translators/actors/etc to Dub This Damn Toy Ad practically overnight?? And apparently they get around the issue of not having a TV network by offering the first few episodes to stations for free???

Anyway, the next thing anyone knows, MSNBC is running segments on Pokemania, Pokemon is on the cover of Time Magazine, and every children’s anime producer in Japan is suddenly flinging their shows at the feet of 4Kids (which has literally never breathed in the anime business’s direction before this). 

And that’s how 4Kids faceplanted into becoming the world’s most (in)famous dubbing company when they Just Wanted To Sell Toys

[reagan-the-saunders]

Hiiii! Here's my Secret Santa piece of Tilavyne and Aurelion for @tiredela!

I really hope it fits their pairing xD

Merry Christmas and happy holidays!! <33

[showrunnerihardlyknowher]

You know how we have pet costumes? Give Jacob one, make him a cute space cowboy😈😈😈

WE'RE BACK BABY

Please enjoy this little ficlet (that was actually my 3rd attempt to write a fluffy ficlet for this universe because all the other ones kept becoming future chapters lmao)

--

“This is humiliating. I look like sheriff Woody or something.”

“Aw, I was thinking more like John Wayne Gacy, you know?”

“The...the clown serial killer…?”

Angie pursed her lips. “Wait, who was the cowboy guy in all the old movies? Like, before Clint Eastwood and whatever.”

“That’s John Wayne. Not John Wayne Gacy,” Jacob tugged at the sleeves of his costume and readjusted his cowhide vest. “And I don’t feel anywhere near as cool as him right now.”

She rolled her eyes and crinkled her nose. “That’s because you’re not cool. You’re a grown man playing dress up with a kindergartener.”

“So are you.”

Angie straightened her Native American headpiece and threw one of her braided pigtails behind her. “Yeah, but I know it’s stupid, so therefore I’m doing it ironically which makes me cool.”

Jacob sighed heavily but didn’t argue further, instead tugging his cowboy hat down further to shield his face that burned with embarrassment. Being forced into having playdates with his captor’s coworker was nothing new. He had spent plenty of time being Mibao’s sole playmate aboard the ship, doing the best he could to keep the six year girl entertained and not too psychologically damaged. Being the youngest in a sibling group of only boys, he was a bit rusty when it came to knowing anything about kids. Thankfully, Mibao was more than happy to take him by the hand and show up all the “fun” things she used to either do back home or what she would now do with her “kitty”.

Today’s game of choice was dress up. Every day felt like dress up when it came to the girl’s ever expanding wardrobe; she was always dressed in an obnoxiously puffy and sparkling princess dress fashioned with ribbons and bows galore and always with a matching crown. Fine, no big deal, he could slap a tiara on his head and call it a day, he’d worn worse at the few fraternity parties he attended during college. Nope, not good enough. Mibao had a very specific game she wanted to play which involved him wearing a cowboy costume of all things. A very realistic and detailed cowboy costume, assless chaps and spurs and all. Again, he could...handle it for the most part. The only thing that really bothered him about it was all the coos and giggles he received from both his and Mibao’s captors when he finally came out in his new outfit.

And he knew for a fact they took many, many pictures of him.

It didn’t end there, Mibao still had more requests. Angie needed to join in as well and she was required to be an “indian princess” to partake. Naturally, she was more than happy to agree if it meant getting a break from the absolute nightmare of a captor she had been saddled with. So, now Jacob had to deal with the fact that she would have to watch him play pretend in this ridiculous getup. He could never catch a break with her, it seemed, she always had to catch him when he was in the middle of doing something cringe worthy. She didn’t even look half as uncomfortable as him and she was literally wearing half as much clothing.

Or maybe that was exactly why she was so comfortable as she sauntered up to him, making a finger pistol to tip his hat away from his face. “Cheer up, partner,” she teased. “I think it makes you look cute.”

“I think it makes me look like Owen Wilson from the museum movie,” Jacob replied, hoping the shadow of the brim hid his reddening cheeks.

“Oh my God, you are a tiny little twink cowboy, huh?”

“I’d rather be the gladiator guy.”

“You wish you could pull off being the gladiator guy.”

A rebuttal was on the tip of his tongue when Mibao made her appearance from behind the monitor where she had been changing. This time instead of her usual princess attire, she was dressed...pretty much the same, only this time she had a tiny pair or iridescent fairy wings attached to the back. What a fairy had to do with cowboys and indians, he hadn’t the faintest idea. She stopped when she saw the two of them and stuck out her tongue in childish disgust.

“Eww, stop kissing!” She scolded. “You can kiss the princess later, Jake, it’s time to play!”

Jacob had never been more grateful in his life that the creatures idly watching them couldn’t understand English because he just might have died if they heard. He could feel the heat radiating from his nape to his cheeks, putting his hands up in defense like it could keep Angie away from him.

“Wh-no! We weren’t, we weren’t kissing, Reagan, w-we-!”

Angie only cackled, her amusement stemming more from Jacob’s panicked response than the actual accusation of giving him a kiss. “Yeah, cowboy, you can kiss me later.” She winked and nudged him with her elbow as she walked past to where Mibao was waiting.

He groaned, tugging the hat down as far as it would go even if that meant obscuring his vision somewhat. That was totally fine, he didn’t want to look at anyone right now and he did not want to be perceived either. The child was leading them back over to her designated play area scattered with art supplies and stuffed toys for where they’ll play their game of make believe. Angie was already sitting on her knees by the time he shuffled over and beckoned him with a sly smile to come take a seat on the ground next to her. Jacob obliged, but refused to give her the satisfaction of seeing his beet red face.

As soon as they were settled, Mibao immediately launched into the exposition of the scene they would be putting on, including their roles and superpowers (that only she had because she was a magical fairy queen). Jacob was only half listening; the kid usually forgot half of her own rules in the middle of playing anyways because she wanted to change the story and it wasn’t that hard to follow her game of make believe. Instead, he kept side-eying Angie, who was side-eying him back, and every time they made eye contact she would smile and bump his shoulder with hers.

This was going to be a long playdate.

--

The lab door slid open as Talan walked in, peeling off his bloodied gloves to dispose of them in Ylva’s waste bin. “I need my human back.”

“Aw, why? They’re all having a ball together!” Ylva frowned, gesturing to the miniature trio on her desk. Well, the smallest one and Talan’s pet seemed like they were having a good time, namely at the expense of the other human in a hat. They all seemed to stop at the interruption, his human fixing him with a sneer that he was tempted to match.

“What the fuck is it wearing?” He asked, ignoring all the little protests he got when he grabbed it and plucked the stupid looking feather thing of its head. “I thought you said it’s not nice to torment the humans.”

Edix scoffed at him, though his annoyance was more from Talan being in his general vicinity than anything. “It’s not torment. They were having fun.”

Talan did not look convinced in the slightest, his eyes sweeping over the pup who was pouting at him for taking away its playmate and the other who froze any time he breathed in its direction. Like owner, like pet, he assumed as it seemed to unconsciously inch closer to where Edix’s hand was resting for a better sense of security. Pathetic. At least his pet had a bit more self respect and wasn’t afraid to try and stab him in the hand with his own tools. Of course, it got a sharp flick to the stomach to knock it off, but he could appreciate the gumption.

Talan rolled his eyes. “Yeah, looks like a real party. So sad to have missed it.”

“Like you’ve ever been to a party to know what it looks like.”

“Says the one that only hangs out with plants.”

“Okay,” Ylva interjected, rising from her chair and scooping up her adorable little human. “You’re right, we should probably wrap this up, Mibao’s going to need a nap soon and she likes to fight her naps when she’s excited.”

That was all the excuse Talan needed to dip out without a formal goodbye, though it didn’t escape the corner of his eye how Edix’s human took a half step forward when he left, almost like it wanted to say something. Even if it did, he wouldn’t have cared. As quickly as he had intruded, Talan disappeared back down the main hall of the fauna department to return to his lab.

Edix stood up as well and tucked the data pad he had been keeping busy with under his arm to keep his hands free. He couldn’t help but smile at seeing how much closer his little pet was standing to him, even if it wasn’t by much, even though it was caused by Talan of all bastards. A win was a win in his book. The hand the human had been partly hiding behind curled easily around it to lift it up, immediately cradling it to his chest as usual. It squirmed for a moment but settled quick enough, a clear sign it was also ready to go back to the lab it was accustomed to. For a social species, the little one always seemed so drained after any playdate Ylva arranged for their pets. Fine by him, it usually meant his human was much more quiet and well behaved once it was back in the solitude of Edix’s company, making for an easier work day.

He used his finger to tilt back the wide brimmed hat it had been using to hide its sweet little face a majority of the playdate, earning him a surprised squeak. With the way its baby cheeks were turning an adorable shade of pink, Edix had a fairly good guess as to why it was trying to avoid everyone’s line of sight. Damn, he should have had Ylva take more pictures, this was way too cute for him. It reached up to quickly pull its shield back down and Edix let it with a laugh, cooing as he tugged at its little vest instead which only made it wriggle in distress. Overdramatic little thing.

“Can I keep this costume?” He asked as he followed behind Ylva who was preparing to put her own pup down for a nap. In reality, it meant she was going to have to play with it for at least another half an hour because, much like him, she was a sucker when it came to her human wanting to play. The difference being that Mibao wanted to do anything from coloring to singing to continuing its game of make believe while Edix’s pet always wanted to play chase.

Ylva smiled and shrugged. “Sure, I mean, it’s not like it’s going to fit the baby. It was printed for its measurements specifically, anyways.” Mibao was proving to be difficult in its refusal to relinquish the shiny wings Ylva had designed at its request, something that Ylva quickly made a game out of by setting her pup on the desk and letting it squeal and run while her hands chased after it. That would tire the kid out in no time. She looked back at his human and giggled. “I don’t think it likes it very much, though.”

Oh yeah, that was obvious from the get go, but it didn’t change the fact that it was way too precious for its own good in this type of outfit. Edix actually quite liked the contrast of the dark brown against its pale skin, even more given the fact that it matched the color of its doe eyes perfectly. It was much more appealing than that splotchy green jacket it was inexplicably attached to. He had a feeling it was going to try and strip out of this outfit as soon as it was back in Edix’s lab, provided he gave it its normal suit and jacket to change into. But...maybe he didn’t have to offer it its spare set of clothes right away. Maybe it would just have to hang around in its little boots and hat for a couple hours longer while he finished up his latest report that was just so important to get done. And maybe he would get constantly distracted by how cute it looked while it was definitely pouting at him for not taking off its costume that it took a little longer than usual to finish his work, which meant it spent even longer pouting under its hat.

Decisions, decisions.

Edix waved his hand dismissively. “It’ll learn to love it.”

“Oh, Eddie, don’t be mean to it,” Ylva laughed, not that seemed bothered by the idea of his pet keeping the outfit on for an extended period of time beyond the playdate. “But send pictures if you do.”

[likeabxrdinflight]

How would you reform Fire Nation mental health care? (And what would make Zuko apologize to Azula for institutionalizing her?)

So...this is potentially going to be a very long post because there’s a lot to discuss here. 

For starters, I’m going to just operate within the confines of what canon gives us, including the comics, because it’s going to make this easier. But I do want it stated that there is absolutely no good reason that the Fire Nation should have some kind of western style institution with things like straitjackets- there is no precedent for that kind of mental health care in an Asian-inspired world where Europe just straight-up doesn’t exist.

But white people made this show and so it does, and the Fire Nation is the nation that gets the most “westernized” by the creators in terms of imposing things like industrialization onto the society, so......eh. I suppose if any nation was gonna do the asylum phase, it’d probably be the Fire Nation. This is an imperfect model, but there aren’t many other models for mental health care out there. I have tried, in looking up information for my own fanfiction, to learn about Eastern mental health care practices. I found very little that hadn’t been influenced by western ideas. So I don’t see any way around it, we’re just going to have to start with this...for whatever reason, the Fire Nation decided large psychiatric hospitals was how to handle mental health. Now let’s fix that. 

First, you can’t just close down the hospitals. We tried that in the real world, and it was a disaster. You just cannot take patients who need more intensive, long-term care and toss them out like “well, the hospital ran out of funds, good luck out there!” In the US, deinstitutionalization really took off in the 1980s (though the seeds of it started much earlier as part of Kennedy’s attempt at mental health reform), in which the large state hospitals closed down due to the inhumane conditions and poor treatment outcomes. However, in the Kennedy policy, hospitals were supposed to be replaced with community-based outpatient mental health centers. The community mental health act (CMHA) was signed into law in the 60s, and was supposed to begin the process of creating these mental health centers and closing down the asylums. However, it was slow going for several years, and the law didn’t actually provide the funding to build the community centers. This only got worse in the 80s as the rest of the funding for the CMHA disappeared. Because guess who didn’t want to pay for it?

State hospitals were going out of style with or without Reagan. But lord he made the problem worse. Today the correlation between homelessness and severe mental illness is staggering, suicide rates are up, and mental health care access for anyone who can’t pay is deplorable. 

We want to avoid this in the Fire Nation. 

So the first thing we need is to know what kind of mental health care they even have. And this is where it gets a little speculative. Because in our western world, Sigmund Freud existed. And we all love to shit on Freud because he deserves it, but credit where credit is due- modern psychotherapy would not exist without him. The man pretty much single-handedly invented our current idea of talk therapy, which paved the way for just about every empirically supported treatment we have today. The two gold standards- CBT and DBT- owe their existence to Freud.

I have to assume, then, that without the influence of psychoanalysis, the focus becomes more biological and probably spiritual. I’d like to see what it would look to integrate Eastern spiritual/healing practices (i.e., acupuncture, like we saw in LOK, or opening blocked chakras, like in ATLA) with mental health care. Perhaps facilities can be set up to train people in these arts. Bending, I think, could also be incorporated- who’s to say highly specialized waterbending couldn’t be used to heal problems in the brain? Schizophrenia, for example, is highly associated with the dopaminergic system in the brain. Could waterbending be used to influence this? What about herbal treatments, could they function similarly to our medications?

Someone would probably at some point discover that healing relationships benefit people with mental illness- but I don’t know that that kind of compassionate care model would necessarily translate into what we would call “therapy.” Still, empathy goes a long way no matter what kind of treatment you’re giving. It is possible for Eastern philosophy to influence some kind of mindfulness based interventions- in our real world, mindfulness based therapy pulls heavily from Buddhist ideas and integrates it with more traditional therapy. So I could see this cropping in a purer form as an alternative to psychotherapy. 

So probably we need to start there. More funding for research and development of mental health treatments in the Fire Nation- let’s find better options than locking people away. They’re clearly a nation that values science, so I can see this development being realistically possible in a few decades or so. (There’s probably an existing knowledge base to build on that we aren’t made aware of in canon.) Once such effective treatments are verified, then we need to get them to the people who need it. Set up facilities, community centers, something- anything- to allow people to access the help they need. 

Now, since these larger hospitals do exist, I don’t think the Fire Nation should do what we did and just shut them down. Instead I think it would be better to keep them open and available for people who need it, but make them a lot more humane. Now in some fairness, the institution Azula stays in looks...pretty nice. 

Like ignoring the straitjacket for a minute, that building itself looks pretty well-funded. That’s a fancy mirror. So the resources are there to make these decent places to stay. We just have to get rid of the restraints and whatever other inhumane treatments may or may not be happening and replace them with effective, science based treatments instead. These need to become places of temporary respite rather than warehouses for people no one else knows how to handle. 

In our world, hospitals are still controversial- and psychiatric abuse still occurs, especially in areas with poor funding- but they’re also beneficial. Some people need this kind of intensive, round-the-clock care. People with acute, untreated psychosis, people who are actively suicidal and in danger of killing themselves, people with manic episodes, people with severe eating disorders- all of these can be dangerous to the patient, and require more intensive interventions in our world. Hospitals are often the best place to get that kind of care. Unfortunately, our hospitals don’t really have the capacity to keep people longer than 72 hours in most cases (there’s always exceptions). Long term stays are expensive, and the facilities are not as easily accessible. We don’t have great options for people with chronic mental illnesses that need this kind of support for longer than a couple days.

So I guess that’s the other thing I’d want to do- perhaps transform these institutions into longer term care facilities with maybe a ward or two for short term patients in acute crisis. 

Next step is educating the public and de-stigmatizing mental illness, which is a broad scale thing. Put effort into education and allow people with mental illness to re-integrate back into society. Frankly, I think someone like Azula could play a key role here- she’s already a well-regarded public figure in the Fire Nation. She could do a lot to promote new treatments and demonstrate that people with mental illness are not, in fact, “crazy and need to go down.”

The best thing I think Zuko could do to apologize would be to regulate all this and to step up as an advocate. These hospitals and care facilities cannot be allowed to act as warehouses for the “undesirable.” There need to be laws in place to prevent psychiatric abuse, and training requirements for care workers. Listening to people with mental illnesses about what their needs are is also a pretty good idea, and showing Azula that he cares about that would be a nice gesture. For him to get to this point, though, I think someone needs to show him how bad a straitjacket feels, or how abusive these kinds of unregulated facilities can get. Zuko is a compassionate person, I don’t think it would take too much convincing for him to see how inhumane an asylum can be- so long as he’s looking at it with eyes open.

[kaypeace21]

something i noticed, during the s3 byler argument, Mike says “El’s not stupid, it’s not MY fault you don’t like girls.” Mike’s “it’s not my fault” doesn’t fit as a retort, the theme of his retort should be defending El. He should have said “it’s not HER fault you don’t like girls”. Knowing there were other versions of that line the writers must have consciously chosen to leave this one in, knowing how it could be interpreted. anyway, do you have any idea why mike even said that line?

Yes, I have talked about it -here (in my long ‘why Mike is gay post’). But since so many people misinterpret the meaning of Mike’s words- might as well do a shorter/more brief version .And do a post focusing on it. HE’S SAYING THIS TO HIMSELF!

First some background

Mike DOES NOT think Will is gay. Dustin foreshadows their fight in s1 saying “Dustin: “He’s just jealous.”  Mike: “What?” Dustin: “Sometimes your total obliviousness just blows my mind?”  Dustin: “ What matters is, he’s your best friend. And then this girl shows up… and all you ever want to do is spend time with her!” Mike: “that’s not true!”

Dustin:  “Yes it is! And you know it. And he knows it. But no one ever says anything until you’re both start… yelling at each other like goblins with intelligence scores of 0. And now everything is weird”

Mike: “He’s not my best friend! … I mean he is. But so are you.”

 He won’t let himself consider that Will could be gay because then it would be harder to pretend he isn’t gay himself . That it isn’t just a weird phase that he’ll grow out of. We see that throughout the show Mike is projecting his feelings for Will on to El . Who in s1 was described by 5 characters as looking like a boy (and specifically like Will, by 3 characters ). There’s just way too many examples of him projecting to list here. But s3 we see Mike is trying to mimic romantic moments between him and Will (from s2) to El (in s3). In order to transfer his romantic feelings for Will on to El. The “blank makes you crazy” vs “crazy together”, the shed scenes of “most important thing” vs “the best thing I’ve ever done”,etc.

The difference between past seasons though, is that Mike is now conscious that he’s doing this. The more feminine El gets- the harder for him it is to pretend. Especially now that they’re going through puberty- and the physical differences between boys and girls is becoming more prominent. We see this in the first ep of s3.  I talked about it more here, but the Duffers use music with all the characters to convey plot points or the emotions of the characters. One example is when Mike forces Will to dance with a girl so he ‘fakes a smile’. 

So yes, the fact that the very first lyrics that play when we see mileven kiss for the first time  is “Just a little uncertainty can bring you down”-  reflects Mike’s true feelings.And we know this is how Mike (not El) feels about their relationship because he begins to sing the song right after this lyric.The song is even from the album titled “boy in the box”. AKA: Mike is in the closet

“And nobody wants to know you now. And nobody wants to show you how.So if you’re lost and on your own. You can never surrender.” He fears that if he isn’t straight everyone he cares about will abandon him, and that he’d be lost and the only one ‘like this’ -all alone.But he can’t ‘surrender’ the false-idea of being in love with El (out of fear). This is the rural Indiana in the 80s- at the height of the aids epidemic. People on the news said gay people were being rightfully punished with the ‘gay cancer’ (aids). They equated being gay with being a perv, p*d*phile, murderer, or mentally ill. Churches said you’d ‘burn in hell’. In rural areas people would form gangs and murder people they thought were gay. Of course Mike is terrified and wants to be straight! His parents in s2 were Reagan supporters. And Reagan was notoriously homophobic. He’s probably afraid his parents will hate him, kick him out, or that someone will kill him or he’ll die from aids by simply kissing a boy.

  We see Mike is doing his own f-ed up form of conversion therapy. He kisses El but he puts on the wall a drawing of Will so he can look at it while he kisses her. Probably hoping to transfer his romantic feeling for Will on to her.

Like that’s Will! He has light brown hair (not black) and Will is the only one associated with fire and has drawn himself with fire in the past. And Will even overlaps with the rainbow drawing that reads “mike”  before we see the mileven kiss. It was intentional.

So when Will Says “you’re ruining everything (their relationship) .And for what?! So you can swap spit with some stupid girl.”

This infuriates Mike because he thinks swapping spit with El is the best way to save their relationship! And he’s been trying to ‘fix himself’ so Will doesn’t hate him- and it hasn’t been working, to Mike’s frustration. So he screams “El’s not stupid, it’s not my fault you don’t like girls!” because he’s projecting. And although, he loves Will… a part of him probably is a bit angry that he’s making him feel this way. 

Mike never actually says to El’s face that he loves her- he even says during his fake-confession  “[old people] say it”.And later Mike apologizes to El and says “sorry, I sound like a [7 year old].” Aka the number Will rolled in s1. Right after he discusses d&d with Will and talks about seeing both of them for the Hollidays. So it’s telling that after he says “El’s not stupid . it’s not my fault you don’t like girls” (to himself). He immediately regrets yelling at Will. He even closes his eyes and takes a breath before continuing.  And apologizes,  by giving a heteronormative answer of:  

“I’m not trying to be a jerk, but [we’re not kids anymore]. What did you think, really?! that we’d never get girlfriends. That we’d just sit in my basement and play games for the rest our lives?” 

Mike is yelling this at himself to keep his feelings for Will under control.El is an idea to Mike about what adulthood is- which is why he doesn’t really defend el (and his ‘love’ for her) but just talks about “girlfriends” in an abstract way.  This was essentially Mike telling  himself-  he’s NOT allowed to just be with Will and never have a gf. He has to grow out of his ‘childish feelings’ for Will- before it’s too late, because being a gay man is dangerous.  That’s why when the camera is on Mike (when he looks back a the byers house -and they only show Will and Mike). The dialogue is  “But I know you’re getting older, growing, changing. I guess, if I’m being really honest, that’s what scares me. I don’t want things to change.”He doesn’t want things to change (and his feelings for Will to evolve into love, because that means Mike has to admit he’s gay and accept his future as a gay man-which at the time, didn’t seem very bright). They both are afraid of the future because of this. Mike tries to act like a ‘straight-adult’ and Will tries to revert back into his childhood because of this. 

Mike also mentions “games’ because d&d is a symbol of byler’s romantic relationship. He’s just pretending to not enjoy the d&d game. Mike says they have to get girlfriends and they can’t play games for the rest of their lives. But that’s what Mike wants- he just wants to be with Will for the rest of his life (playing games) without either of them having girlfriends. Because, we see Mike never took any of Will’s d&d art off his walls.Even though he changed his poster (from the same wall  that had will’s drawings on it) Mike couldn’t remove any of Will’s d&d art.  It was an act - which is why he was upset (in the last episode) when Will was donating the game, and why during the Hopper speech,  it pans to Mike as Hopper says “I miss playing board games every night.”

Mike even has a binder filled with every d&d drawing Will has ever given him.

In the pilot, they even say Will uses d&d to “escape” his insecurities about his sexuality “like mike” & Mike uses d&d to “escape” his insecurities about not having a gf.  * And no, dustin & Lucas didn’t use d&d to “escape” anything- in the pilot script.

And right before Mike says the famous “crazy together”line it zooms in on Mike’s d&d set.

The  “crazy together” scene is romantic since both Mike & Flo both equate love making you ‘crazy’. Mike saying “it makes you crazy” and Flo saying saying in s1 “ only love makes you crazy and that damn stupid”). 

(x)(x)

Mike is lying about his feelings for El- and El is just confused about her feelings for Mike.  The only one’s with mutual feelings for Mike is Will! Will even has a breakdown and goes ‘crazy’ after seeing a pic of them the night they promised to go crazy together - and then Will repeatedly calls himself ‘stupid’ . Because this is when he realizes and admits to himself he’s in love with Mike. And so he grabs a bat (that his dad- who called him a ‘queer’ taught him to use) and destroys castle Byers in a fit of anger and self-hate. That fight was what caused Will to realize his feelings for Mike and the jealousy he had been feeling were because he was in love with Mike. When Mike asks “what did you think, really? That we’d never get girlfriends… play games for the rest of our lives?” 

Will is 100% honest a says brokenly “yeah. I guess I did” And then says angrily “I really did!” . Even if both don’t understand the gravity of their words in that moment Will was honest- he doesn’t want to ever have a girlfriend he just wants to be with Mike for the rest of his life. And Mike, who assumes Will is straight, is shocked that this conversation upset Will. Or that he would disagree with his words.

And again their last conversation (about d&d is very telling and is foreshadowing). What Will meant when he said ,  “I’ll just use yours when I come back- I mean… if WE still wanna play”. Is essentially foreshadowing that the ball is in Mike’s court. If he wants to be with Will for the rest of his life he has to initiate it and prove he loves Will after pretending for so long to love El, instead.

gif credit:  first 2 gifs ampwn98 , 3th gif by janebycrs, 5th gif Cath-avery , 4 & 6th gifs mine

[toonjazzy]

Autism is not a burden

Devon: *Has her headphones on*

Sicillia: I just don’t know how you do it, Reese.

Reese: Do what??

Sicillia: You never get frustrated with Devon.

Devon: *Looks over*

Reese: Lia, Devon doesn’t think like us, she might but she takes longer to understand a few things.

Sicillia: I know that, but sometimes she’s just dramatic. She’s scared of everything, she never pays attention, and she’s so immature.

Devon: *Looks down, tries not to cry*

Reese: Sicillia, that isn’t nice. You can’t just think about her flaws, she is an amazing sister.

Sicillia: I get it, but she just frustrates me.

Devon: *Leaves without being noticed*

Reese: Listen, she takes things hard so choose your choice of words wisely, if she’s bored, it’s possible that she will get distracted because of her ADHD, but she is trying, and third, she is 15, you can’t expect her to be mature right away, she is sometimes but she also wants to enjoy her childhood.

Sicillia: ...I’m a bitch, a monster. I never tried to understand.

Reese: At least you do now.

In Devon’s room

Devon: *Plays sad music on her headphones and cries* Why can’t I be normal, why do I have to have these mental illnesses?? I wish I was normal. *Falls asleep*

With Reese and Tyler

Reese: I wish people would understand Devi, it breaks my heart when someone says these things about her.

Tyler: I agree, she should be treated fairly. Equally like everyone else, but still patient so that she doesn’t feel overwhelmed.

Reese: I promised my mom that I would help her with her Autism and ADHD.

Flashback 2010

7 year old Reese: Mommy, why does Devi scream all the time??

Reagan: Devon has something called “Autism”, she doesn’t know how to react to things so she might start screaming or hitting. Please be patient with her, it’s not her fault.

2013 When Devon was diagnosed with ADHD.

10 year old Reese: What is ADHD??

Reagan: It’s short for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. It may be hard for her to focus and become distracted easily.

2016 when Reagan died

Reagan: Reese, promise me that you’ll help Devon with her Autism and ADHD.

13 year old Reese: I promise.

End of flashback

Reese: I will help her no matter what.

Tyler: So will I.

The next day

Reese: Devi, you’ve been sad all day. What’s wrong, hermana??

Devon: I heard what Sicillia said about me yesterday. Everyone hates me, I am immature, I’m a burden.

Reese: You’re not a burden, I wouldn’t trade you for anything, we all love you.

Devon: But I don’t have any friends.

Reese: Yes you do.

Devon: Really?? Name one friend besides Tyler.

Reese: Olly, Olivia, Bobby, Izzy and her siblings, the vellumentals, those DJ girls you’re always talking about.

Devon: They probably all hate me.

Reese: No they don’t, they love you, Izzy’s a lot like you.

Devon: Really?? What do Izzy and I have in common??

Reese: Both have nicknames, both have Autism and ADHD, both love dancing and disco music, both have pretty cyan blue eyes, both Pansexual.

Devon: ...I guess we are alike.

Reese: But just know that we all love you Devon, you’re important to us.

Devon: Thank you.

AWWWWW!! I almost cried. I often feel like I’m a burden for my Mild Autism, I wanna be treated the same but be more patient with me. My autistic characters are a lot like me. Everything that Devon said is what I usually think and I need art and music to make me feel better. This was to kind of give me hope. Stay Tooned -Jazzy

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Just Say the Word: One

Bucky took a drag off his cigarette and exhaled slowly, looking up at the sky. There was no moon tonight. And no stars eithers, not that you can see much of them for all the neon lights glowing. Including the lights of the club. But those he’s rather proud of. 

They cost a pretty penny. And they make the joint look a little more legitimate. They bring in out of towners looking for a drink. People who don’t know that this is gang territory. He takes another drag and watched the smoke curl in the light. For a second, the music and the laughing, the clack of pool balls from inside, seems far away. It drifts behind him but doesn’t really penetrate.

It’s like radio static. There and not there at the same time as he watches the smoke shift and change. But it doesn’t last long. This moment of peace. 

Across the parking lot, there’s a sound. A very distinct sound of a laugh. A laugh he knows really well. And with a jolt, he realizes that it hurt somewhere behind his ribcage.  He’s missed that sound. He’s missed that sound more than he realized until he heard it again. 

It’s your laugh. 

And he thought he’d never hear it again. That lilting, musical sound. Your real laugh. Genuine and bright. Not the brittle, tense sound it had been at the end. When you were walking on egg shells trying to avoid his fucking temper. Laughing at his jokes even if they weren’t funny in a desperate bid to keep him happy and keep him from accusing you of cheating. With Barton, Steve, Sam, Hell Nat once or twice. It turns out, Nancy Reagan was right about some things. When it came to cocaine, it really was best to just say no. Pot was alright. Booze was fine. But cocaine made him a paranoid asshole, which, surprisingly wasn’t a good thing as president of a biker club. 

For a moment, as he watched across the stretched, you walking on a low wall, arms outstretched, your umbrella in one hand and your date holding your other. He can’t see the guys face but the hair cut says professional of some kind. And he can’t see the suit but... He’s with you so. Probably a med student or something. He can’t be that professional. Nothing against you but, honestly. No one with a fancy job is gonna go for a cute little art teacher who can coax deer into eating out of her hand. Who wears rainbow doc martens and has a purple goddamn motorcycle. But he knows it’s you. He’d know you anywhere. He can almost smell the sage and lavender and paint smell that clings to you. The bite of aspirin that clings to your lips when you’ve been chewing up the pills trying to quash a migraine.  He wants to go over there and rip you off that jokers arm. To pick you up and carry you off like a fucking cave man. Fuck you over the pool table and reclaim you as his own. 

He wants it so bad, he can feel his jaw grinding. But as you stop under the streetlight, standing on your toes to smudge a kiss against this guy’s jaw, he forces himself to stay still. To wait for you to disappear around the corner. It had been 3 years. You’d left him 3 years ago. And someone had helped you do it. He’d never asked. And after the dust had settled he didn’t really want to know. But what he did want to know is how you were back in the city now. And why. And why he didn’t know about it. He exhaled a cloud of smoke slowly and flicked his cigarette butt into the gutter. He didn’t know but he was going to find out.

---------

When the club door banged open and everything ground to a halt. Glass clattered and every head in the room turned. 

“Which one of you fuckers knew Y/N was back in town?” he demanded.

He doesn’t miss Steve throwing back a shot and shooting a guilty glance at Nat. “Rogers you son of a bitch,” he said walking forward, “How long?”

“Leave her alone, Bucky,” Nat said warningly, pouring him a shot and sliding it down the counter. 

“Oh,” he snorts, “So you’re both in on it.”

“You threatened to kill her,” Steve hissed, “You were waving a gun around and telling her that if she was gonna fuck around on you, you were gonna make her pay. We didn’t have a choice.”

Bucky held up a hand and threw back the shot, hissing at the burn and tapping the glass on the counter for another. “I know,” he sighs, “I mean... I don’t remember it. Not really but. Yeah. I just... How long has she been back?”

“A couple weeks,” Steve admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “Her new guy got a job in the city.”

“What’s he do?” Bucky asked, taking a seat. 

“Pediatrician, I think,” Nat said, “Nice guy... Bought her a really nice rock.”

Several tumblers clicked into place and Bucky inhaled sharply, choking on his drink and sputtering, “She’s getting married?”

Nat nods, “I guess they’re gonna get married at City hall and throw a nice party when the weather gets nice.”

“She still looks the same,” Bucky said softly.

Steve and Natasha look at each other over the bar and Steve throws an arm around Bucky’s shoulders. It had been rough. A really fucking awful few years. You two had been together so long. And you’d tried so hard to stick by him. To help him. And now? Bucky had to... deal with it. 

And as he stared at the amber liquid in his glass he wasn’t sure how to go forward. He wanted to see you. He wanted to tell you he was sorry. That he still loved you. Fuck, that he finally painted the kitchen. That it wasn’t shit brown with gold flecked pea green linoleum any more. It was the butter yellow color you wanted. And he’d had the linoleum ripped out and the wood floors polished... It was a kitchen you could finally be happy working in... but. how was he going to get to you? Could he get to you? Would you even want to see him? 

You were his first love. Since the second you gave him a pencil in math class when he was 13. The new girl. The cute one. The Quiet one. The one girl that never offered to show him her still fucking concave chest in a desperate bid for his attention. And from the jump, you were hand in hand. Giving him a reason to stay out of jail. And you stuck by him. Through boot camp. And deployment... But. He didn’t blame you for staying through the drugs. The coke the started using to deal with the depression from the PTSD. It made him mean. It made him act like a bastard. And now, Bucky knew that he’d been pushing you away. That’d he’d meant for you to go. 

But he never expected you to actually do it.