#reading time: 10 hours
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mikkaeus · 2 years ago
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detransition, baby - a review
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apparently the “first book written by an openly trans woman to be published by a big 5 publishing house” but that was from a goodreads review so dont quote me on that
disclaimer im am? mostly cis at this point in time
i really enjoyed this book. i loved how unapologetically queer it was. i loved the writing style and overall tone (more on this later*). i cant imagine what the experience must be for the average cis person that has never thought about Gender in their life. 
the one-line summary of the plot is that Ames (detransitioned trans woman) accidentally gets Katrina (his gf) pregnant and proposes that his ex gf Reese (trans woman) to be a coparent because he can’t stand the idea of being shoehorned into the role of a dad and all the gender fuckery that entails by virtue of Katrina’s cishetness. 
the book follows the reese and amy in vignettes from various periods of their lives, as well as the ongoing story in the present with katrina’s pregnancy. the timeline is meandering as it frequently recounts memories from the present, but i didn’t find it hard to follow.
our lovely cast:
- Reese: cynical & confident as a self-described trans elder. she desperately wants a child of her own. she’s emotional and impulsive and has several toxic relationships with men prior to and after her long-term relationship with Amy. her view on womanhood is fucked up, but understandably so. A lot of people on Goodreads, at least half of them TERFs, took issue with this particular section (which is funny, because the author knew exactly what would happen). 
After all, Every woman adores a Fascist. Reese spent a lifetime observing cis women confirm their genders through male violence. 
....
Liberal feminists — especially the trans-hating variety — would have a field day with her. ... But you know what? ... Why should the burden be on her to uphold impeccable feminist politics that barely served her? ... So yeah, Stanley, bring it on. Hit Reese. Show her what it means to be a lady. 
- Amy/Ames: a baby trans when she initially got together with reese, who was as much of a mother to her as she was a partner. she has never been able to break the habit of using maleness as an emotional shield, and one resulting casualty is her sex life — the inability to make herself vulnerable makes sex unsatisfying for both her and Reese. ultimately, their relationship breaks down and in the aftermath, Amy detransitions to Ames. 
- Katrina - late thirties, chinese/jewish, cishet, divorcee. this is her first venturing into queerness. she’s also Ames’ boss, but this dynamic is not explored at all tbh she might as well be his coworker. 
*THE PROSE! As I said earlier, I loved the writing style. It’s easy to read but embellished and ‘literary’ enough to be fun. Not sure of the right word to describe the tone but something like blasĂ©/snappy/honest/blunt? it is also very funny. 
Ames pondered whether he ought to cancel his subscription to HBO in order to afford this sperm bank. He couldn’t fully comprehend the enormous weight of fatherhood and generational lineage, but he could easily comprehend how much he did not want to cancel HBO. 
...she welcomes Reese with a hug that, in its unexpected affection, Reese would put somewhere between suddenly discovered long-lost relative and cult leader thanking you for your impending sacrifice.
is this a Queer Misery book? i don’t think so. all the Bad Things (transphobia, homophobia, dysphoria, and so on) feature insofar that it is a book about the messy lives of these trans women. i didn’t find it depressing. 
are the characters likeable? storygraph says “it’s complicated”. personally, i was emotionally invested in them at around the 50% mark. as someone who has never wanted children or been interested in motherhood at all, and also never been particularly moved by those who were, i was really hoping that things would work out for reese.
the question of race. amy and reese are very white and this is underlined in the book in a sufficiently self-aware (on the part of the author) way. i dont think this detracted from the book. more thoughts on this here. 
sEx? some people have said there was a lot of sex in this book but i personally didn’t really think so (by the standard of fanfic at least). i guess there’s a decent number of talk about sex but not that many sex scenes? 
is co-sleeping with your baby bad? the science says yes! sleeping in the same room is not the same as sleeping in the same bed!! this is the most problematic part of the book 
unfortunately, (MINOR SPOILERS)
I didn’t get the happy ending that I had desperately hoped for (though i probably should’ve clocked something when it ended at 12 weeks post conception). Instead, we got an ambiguous ending that I guess could be seen as hopeful. I’m the type of guy that wants closure in all my stories but alas. 
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soaked-doors · 2 months ago
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“Those two things can exist at the same time. Like you said, it's all—it's all tangled up together, you and me.”
double page spread for one of my favorite luzo fics of all time, poly philtatos (the most beloved by far) by my good friend - @swordsmans!
I knew I wanted to do a double page spread the second I finished this fic and I drafted abt a dozen ideas before landing on what would ultimately become this. There were so many snippets and moments I wanted to illustrate but I ended up doing more of an abstracted version of the fic as opposed to 1:1 drawings of scenes 
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funnily enough while the fic itself is told in zoros pov this spread is framed mostly through luffy’s eyes - his tears literally frame comp for their reunion, the moment he loses zoro, and the centerpiece of the first page which is this weird abstraction of him on the beach seeing zoros corpse-not-a-corpse in the waves just beyond his reach. 
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gyro put the crane wives’ never love an anchor on the playlist for this fic which i heavily used as inspiration in picking ornamental things for the spread (the anchor, the fleet of ships by luffy, and the nautical rope splitting the second page). also just like. overall really heartbreaking lyrics guys 
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there are smaller elements throughout the spread that are 1:1 references though (all i will say for these is if you know, you know hehe) i wish i had more time to do a lengthier piece for fanart for this fic bc it's one of the few luzo fics that have been rattling around in my brain forever now - once again please please please read poly philtatos if you haven't. gyro is a masterful writer and they deserve all the love! ok byeee
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supertaliart · 3 months ago
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I went a little off the rails for a power-point-party, so I thought I'd share. Don't come at me about canonicity. Also yes, I spent hours using illustrator to make pose-able vector mando'ade.
Review from my friend: "I feel like I actually learned something?"
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blushpepper · 2 months ago
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I wanted a new icon
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a-scary-lack-of-common-sense · 14 days ago
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I am exhausted, good heavens.
#hey watch this neat trick I can do [cries]#love that for me#BUT#BUT- the actual EFFORT I put these days to not make a suicide jokes is *chefs kiss* phenomenal#actively shitting bricks as I physically have to stop myself from saying I want a car to hit me for the 50th time that day#I am not progressing any more than I am downgressing or whatever the opposite word is. but girlies#and boysies and peepsies#my lipgloss is popping and my eyebags are gucci- and so I shall prevail#MAN this tiredness is BONE DEEP man- it's like it's engraved into my goddamn clavicles#sorry that was like the only bone name I could remember- I don't even know what a clavicle is#anyways- I need to fall asleep forever and never wake up. But not in like a dying way#I just need to stop waking up tired and being tired and going to sleep tired and living tired like GIRL#WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN SLEEP STOPS SLEEPING#I JUST SLEPT 10 HOURS HOW ARE YOU STILL TIRED#I am so tired that i stopped liking shit- like that SUCKS my dudes#I sometimes Don't Like art now and that is WILD to me because that was lowkey the One Thing that got me going#I used to actually LIKE english class! and reading Shakespear and shit!!!! and history class!! Now I don't!! Where did the spark go??????#Now everything feels like a chooooooore and it sucks major dick#and my graaaades are slipping because I stopped giving a damn but I NEED. TO. GIVE. A. DAMN#because those are like highkey lowkey and every-other-key my grades and I need them to go into uni so I don't die <333#I need to spite little mini me who said I wasn't going to live past 13 because BITCH- guess how old I'm turning next week????????#THAT'S RIGHT- 17 YEARS OLD- FUCK YEAH BABY I'M STILL NOT DEAD#SUCK MY BIG ASS SHLONG MINI-ME#and then I have a big biology exam the day after so- funnnnn!!#anywho- should I tag this as vent? this probably counts as vent right? like among us? impostor and shit?#sorry I think my brain is actively rotting out of my ears right now#vent post#personal vent#tw vent#tw sui talk
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bread--hood · 24 days ago
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Arthur Morgan â–Ș○â–Ș Red Dead Redemption 2
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anonymocha · 8 months ago
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Dear Laika
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khrysalisposting · 9 days ago
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the ra struggle summarized
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expired-blueberries · 1 year ago
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first time getting arrested vs fiftieth 
(don’t worry, ben will get used to it soon enough)
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fbwzoo · 9 months ago
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There were 4 humans in the room. Where did 4 of the 5 upstairs big kids need to be?
On mom, of course.
(Emma is barely visible, just next to my hand on the left, behind Addy)
I have never felt more like Daine from Tamora Pierce's Tortall books.
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theultimatekamehamehavoc · 7 months ago
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Based off of this I wrote like, not that long ago in the timeline of things.
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fiumedivita · 5 months ago
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It has begun.
Everyone, be safe. We'll make it through this tough time.
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yasmeensh · 1 year ago
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This is what I have been working on this week. A4 paper in gouache. It's a rather difficult medium to work with. I do like the consistency, and the matte finish. But I found it hard to make the colours come out bright (I suppose gouache is like that?). I used coloured pencils and what is supposed to be oil pastels (it was straight up chalk lol). I think it could still use more work, but I fear I would just ruin it if I work any further. Overall, I'm happy with the result! Next up will be acrylics! Progress shots under the cut:
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otrtbs · 6 months ago
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i leave the uk and jobs at the tate open up?????????????
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triglycercule · 7 months ago
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may 10th. guess what day it is???
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KILLER SANS!!!!!
(my 1/3 pookie snookums baby fav squishy idiot) (he gets to go skydiving with his favorite buddies) (more under cut :3)
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what happened after:
dust: oh... my... god.
horror: did i lose my eye? oh god, did it fall out?
killer: it's in your other socket.
horror: oh, it is? damn... hold on.
dust: ... i think that my soul left my body... i think i know what papyrus experiences everyday as a ghost now.
killer: oh, stop being so dramatic, dust. it's not that big of a deal, you fly around on your blasters all the time!
dust: wha- not that big of a deal? not that big of a deal?! it's different with my blasters because at least i have some form of ground to stand on, but skydiving is-
horror: okay, there we go, fixed. dust, shut the hell up. honestly, killer's idea was terrible in the moment, but now that i'm looking back at it... skydiving was kinda fun. so we're doing it again.
dust: what?! are you insane?! are both of you deranged and demented?? let- let go of me! no! no!!
horror: we are insane and demented. happy birthday killer. for once i'm actually glad you came up with this idea.
killer: aww, thanks horror, love ya too~
horror: nevermind.
okay that's it happy bday killer sans i love you so much you're one of my favorite characters and you're so interesting and cool hahaha i need you to stab me. (in a nice way) uhhhh who said that
more versions of that art below!!!!! btw i wrote a short oneshot for this little fellas bday 2 check it out :333
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thatonegayship · 1 year ago
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I loved the cowboy comic so much that I wrote a oneshot for it. https://archiveofourown.org/works/50934235 đŸ„ș your art is BEYOND amazing, ty for the food
INCREDIBLE!!!!!
#billdip#I honestly loved this story start to finish with the ambience and quick pace#hadn't considered the possibility of Bill and Dipper actually working *together* but it's always a good time when they do ❀#sorry it took so long to reblog đŸ„Č#I read it like- Right when you posted. But I had to catch a plane and then drive an extra hour home and immediately get on zoom for class#and today i was just all around exhausted so i slept roughly 70% of the entire day dndsjdndnd#all that to say that I had your fic in the back of my mind and I very much wanted to set some time aside and re-read it when I got the chan#honestly with how well you set things up I would've loved to see your own rendition of their first kiss#You established their relationship really well at the start and brought them together by the end after outsmsrtong those bandits#it feels like you have a better understanding of who they are to each other than even i do 😌 very much a fan#i love when stories incorporate those sort of 'habits' that the love interests fall into#that confuses character A while character B is so clearly using it as an excuse to get close and spend more time with them#i squealed like a maniac when Bill was like oooph lemme walk you home đŸ˜đŸ€ #sir i am going to wrangle you up if you don't compose yourself#and Dipper's just wary of him because people as handsome as bill used to pick on him 😱#little does he know he's grown into a 10/10 cutie patootie that any cowboy would be stupid NOT to smooch#I'm a simple man. I read oblivious low-confidence cowboy being pursued by a hottie on a horse. I lose my shit#Awesome wonderful writing!!! so happy to have caught your eye and i hope to continue pumping out content for this wonderfully weird ship
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