#reading time: 10 hours

[mikkaeus]

detransition, baby - a review

apparently the “first book written by an openly trans woman to be published by a big 5 publishing house” but that was from a goodreads review so dont quote me on that

disclaimer im am? mostly cis at this point in time

i really enjoyed this book. i loved how unapologetically queer it was. i loved the writing style and overall tone (more on this later*). i cant imagine what the experience must be for the average cis person that has never thought about Gender in their life. 

the one-line summary of the plot is that Ames (detransitioned trans woman) accidentally gets Katrina (his gf) pregnant and proposes that his ex gf Reese (trans woman) to be a coparent because he can’t stand the idea of being shoehorned into the role of a dad and all the gender fuckery that entails by virtue of Katrina’s cishetness. 

the book follows the reese and amy in vignettes from various periods of their lives, as well as the ongoing story in the present with katrina’s pregnancy. the timeline is meandering as it frequently recounts memories from the present, but i didn’t find it hard to follow.

our lovely cast:

- Reese: cynical & confident as a self-described trans elder. she desperately wants a child of her own. she’s emotional and impulsive and has several toxic relationships with men prior to and after her long-term relationship with Amy. her view on womanhood is fucked up, but understandably so. A lot of people on Goodreads, at least half of them TERFs, took issue with this particular section (which is funny, because the author knew exactly what would happen). 

After all, Every woman adores a Fascist. Reese spent a lifetime observing cis women confirm their genders through male violence. 

....

Liberal feminists — especially the trans-hating variety — would have a field day with her. ... But you know what? ... Why should the burden be on her to uphold impeccable feminist politics that barely served her? ... So yeah, Stanley, bring it on. Hit Reese. Show her what it means to be a lady. 

- Amy/Ames: a baby trans when she initially got together with reese, who was as much of a mother to her as she was a partner. she has never been able to break the habit of using maleness as an emotional shield, and one resulting casualty is her sex life — the inability to make herself vulnerable makes sex unsatisfying for both her and Reese. ultimately, their relationship breaks down and in the aftermath, Amy detransitions to Ames. 

- Katrina - late thirties, chinese/jewish, cishet, divorcee. this is her first venturing into queerness. she’s also Ames’ boss, but this dynamic is not explored at all tbh she might as well be his coworker. 

*THE PROSE! As I said earlier, I loved the writing style. It’s easy to read but embellished and ‘literary’ enough to be fun. Not sure of the right word to describe the tone but something like blasé/snappy/honest/blunt? it is also very funny. 

Ames pondered whether he ought to cancel his subscription to HBO in order to afford this sperm bank. He couldn’t fully comprehend the enormous weight of fatherhood and generational lineage, but he could easily comprehend how much he did not want to cancel HBO. 

...she welcomes Reese with a hug that, in its unexpected affection, Reese would put somewhere between suddenly discovered long-lost relative and cult leader thanking you for your impending sacrifice.

is this a Queer Misery book? i don’t think so. all the Bad Things (transphobia, homophobia, dysphoria, and so on) feature insofar that it is a book about the messy lives of these trans women. i didn’t find it depressing. 

are the characters likeable? storygraph says “it’s complicated”. personally, i was emotionally invested in them at around the 50% mark. as someone who has never wanted children or been interested in motherhood at all, and also never been particularly moved by those who were, i was really hoping that things would work out for reese.

the question of race. amy and reese are very white and this is underlined in the book in a sufficiently self-aware (on the part of the author) way. i dont think this detracted from the book. more thoughts on this here. 

sEx? some people have said there was a lot of sex in this book but i personally didn’t really think so (by the standard of fanfic at least). i guess there’s a decent number of talk about sex but not that many sex scenes? 

is co-sleeping with your baby bad? the science says yes! sleeping in the same room is not the same as sleeping in the same bed!! this is the most problematic part of the book 

unfortunately, (MINOR SPOILERS)

I didn’t get the happy ending that I had desperately hoped for (though i probably should’ve clocked something when it ended at 12 weeks post conception). Instead, we got an ambiguous ending that I guess could be seen as hopeful. I’m the type of guy that wants closure in all my stories but alas. 

[soaked-doors]

“Those two things can exist at the same time. Like you said, it's all—it's all tangled up together, you and me.”

double page spread for one of my favorite luzo fics of all time, poly philtatos (the most beloved by far) by my good friend - @swordsmans!

I knew I wanted to do a double page spread the second I finished this fic and I drafted abt a dozen ideas before landing on what would ultimately become this. There were so many snippets and moments I wanted to illustrate but I ended up doing more of an abstracted version of the fic as opposed to 1:1 drawings of scenes 

funnily enough while the fic itself is told in zoros pov this spread is framed mostly through luffy’s eyes - his tears literally frame comp for their reunion, the moment he loses zoro, and the centerpiece of the first page which is this weird abstraction of him on the beach seeing zoros corpse-not-a-corpse in the waves just beyond his reach. 

gyro put the crane wives’ never love an anchor on the playlist for this fic which i heavily used as inspiration in picking ornamental things for the spread (the anchor, the fleet of ships by luffy, and the nautical rope splitting the second page). also just like. overall really heartbreaking lyrics guys 

there are smaller elements throughout the spread that are 1:1 references though (all i will say for these is if you know, you know hehe) i wish i had more time to do a lengthier piece for fanart for this fic bc it's one of the few luzo fics that have been rattling around in my brain forever now - once again please please please read poly philtatos if you haven't. gyro is a masterful writer and they deserve all the love! ok byeee

[supertaliart]

I went a little off the rails for a power-point-party, so I thought I'd share. Don't come at me about canonicity. Also yes, I spent hours using illustrator to make pose-able vector mando'ade.

Review from my friend: "I feel like I actually learned something?"

[blushpepper]

I wanted a new icon

[bread--hood]

Arthur Morgan ▪︎○▪︎ Red Dead Redemption 2

[anonymocha]

Dear Laika

[expired-blueberries]

first time getting arrested vs fiftieth 

(don’t worry, ben will get used to it soon enough)

[fbwzoo]

There were 4 humans in the room. Where did 4 of the 5 upstairs big kids need to be?

On mom, of course.

(Emma is barely visible, just next to my hand on the left, behind Addy)

I have never felt more like Daine from Tamora Pierce's Tortall books.

[theultimatekamehamehavoc]

Based off of this I wrote like, not that long ago in the timeline of things.

[fiumedivita]

It has begun.

Everyone, be safe. We'll make it through this tough time.

[yasmeensh]

This is what I have been working on this week. A4 paper in gouache. It's a rather difficult medium to work with. I do like the consistency, and the matte finish. But I found it hard to make the colours come out bright (I suppose gouache is like that?). I used coloured pencils and what is supposed to be oil pastels (it was straight up chalk lol). I think it could still use more work, but I fear I would just ruin it if I work any further. Overall, I'm happy with the result! Next up will be acrylics! Progress shots under the cut:

[otrtbs]

i leave the uk and jobs at the tate open up?????????????

[triglycercule]

may 10th. guess what day it is???

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KILLER SANS!!!!!

(my 1/3 pookie snookums baby fav squishy idiot) (he gets to go skydiving with his favorite buddies) (more under cut :3)

what happened after:

dust: oh... my... god.

horror: did i lose my eye? oh god, did it fall out?

killer: it's in your other socket.

horror: oh, it is? damn... hold on.

dust: ... i think that my soul left my body... i think i know what papyrus experiences everyday as a ghost now.

killer: oh, stop being so dramatic, dust. it's not that big of a deal, you fly around on your blasters all the time!

dust: wha- not that big of a deal? not that big of a deal?! it's different with my blasters because at least i have some form of ground to stand on, but skydiving is-

horror: okay, there we go, fixed. dust, shut the hell up. honestly, killer's idea was terrible in the moment, but now that i'm looking back at it... skydiving was kinda fun. so we're doing it again.

dust: what?! are you insane?! are both of you deranged and demented?? let- let go of me! no! no!!

horror: we are insane and demented. happy birthday killer. for once i'm actually glad you came up with this idea.

killer: aww, thanks horror, love ya too~

horror: nevermind.

okay that's it happy bday killer sans i love you so much you're one of my favorite characters and you're so interesting and cool hahaha i need you to stab me. (in a nice way) uhhhh who said that

more versions of that art below!!!!! btw i wrote a short oneshot for this little fellas bday 2 check it out :333

[thatonegayship]

I loved the cowboy comic so much that I wrote a oneshot for it. https://archiveofourown.org/works/50934235 🥺 your art is BEYOND amazing, ty for the food

INCREDIBLE!!!!!

[jadeoru]

hello jade nation i just woke up with one sock on, my hair messy like a bird nest, my eyeliner smudged to my jawline, my dress is half on half off, and im also in my girlfriends bed 🤷‍♀️ what a night ! i wish i could remember it - oh wait ! i have 40 videos on my phone !!!!!!!! thank you drunk jade!!!!!

[rosielav]

Tomorrow is my birthday! I had quite literally the worst week of my career hours wise last week, and am really struggling to pay all my bills for the week.

If anyone would perchance like to grab a silly little one page ttrpg that features mice and puns and the power of friendship, please consider my two mouse games! They're both free+ so any sale, even $1, will help - and those small sales really add up!!

If you've had a really great month so far, and just so happen to have extra dosh laying around, please consider helping out a queer disabled autistic creator?

If you are a fan of my silly little art, please consider grabbing a drawing or a card or some stationery with some silly fun designs or one of my OCs, or one of yours, just hmu and I'd be glad to make you something for a few buckeroonies! @rosie-lav-art to see my style!

If you aren't able to help, thanks for taking the time to read all this, and I hope that you have a great rest of your week, and that something nice and unexpected happens that brings you joy :)

(other ways to support -

cashapp/venmo/PayPal = rosielav)

(PS if you've been here since my Game Gruno days, I'll gladly write you a ficlet or something silly, been a while since I flexed the ol fan fic muscle but I'd be happy to do it again to help with bills!!!)