#reading time: 10 hours
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detransition, baby - a review
apparently the âfirst book written by an openly trans woman to be published by a big 5 publishing houseâ but that was from a goodreads review so dont quote me on that
disclaimer im am? mostly cis at this point in time
i really enjoyed this book. i loved how unapologetically queer it was. i loved the writing style and overall tone (more on this later*). i cant imagine what the experience must be for the average cis person that has never thought about Gender in their life.Â
the one-line summary of the plot is that Ames (detransitioned trans woman) accidentally gets Katrina (his gf) pregnant and proposes that his ex gf Reese (trans woman) to be a coparent because he canât stand the idea of being shoehorned into the role of a dad and all the gender fuckery that entails by virtue of Katrinaâs cishetness.Â
the book follows the reese and amy in vignettes from various periods of their lives, as well as the ongoing story in the present with katrinaâs pregnancy. the timeline is meandering as it frequently recounts memories from the present, but i didnât find it hard to follow.
our lovely cast:
- Reese: cynical & confident as a self-described trans elder. she desperately wants a child of her own. sheâs emotional and impulsive and has several toxic relationships with men prior to and after her long-term relationship with Amy. her view on womanhood is fucked up, but understandably so. A lot of people on Goodreads, at least half of them TERFs, took issue with this particular section (which is funny, because the author knew exactly what would happen).Â
After all, Every woman adores a Fascist. Reese spent a lifetime observing cis women confirm their genders through male violence.Â
....
Liberal feminists â especially the trans-hating variety â would have a field day with her. ... But you know what? ... Why should the burden be on her to uphold impeccable feminist politics that barely served her? ... So yeah, Stanley, bring it on. Hit Reese. Show her what it means to be a lady.Â
- Amy/Ames: a baby trans when she initially got together with reese, who was as much of a mother to her as she was a partner. she has never been able to break the habit of using maleness as an emotional shield, and one resulting casualty is her sex life â the inability to make herself vulnerable makes sex unsatisfying for both her and Reese. ultimately, their relationship breaks down and in the aftermath, Amy detransitions to Ames.Â
- Katrina - late thirties, chinese/jewish, cishet, divorcee. this is her first venturing into queerness. sheâs also Amesâ boss, but this dynamic is not explored at all tbh she might as well be his coworker.Â
*THE PROSE! As I said earlier, I loved the writing style. Itâs easy to read but embellished and âliteraryâ enough to be fun. Not sure of the right word to describe the tone but something like blasĂ©/snappy/honest/blunt? it is also very funny.Â
Ames pondered whether he ought to cancel his subscription to HBO in order to afford this sperm bank. He couldnât fully comprehend the enormous weight of fatherhood and generational lineage, but he could easily comprehend how much he did not want to cancel HBO.Â
...she welcomes Reese with a hug that, in its unexpected affection, Reese would put somewhere between suddenly discovered long-lost relative and cult leader thanking you for your impending sacrifice.
is this a Queer Misery book? i donât think so. all the Bad Things (transphobia, homophobia, dysphoria, and so on) feature insofar that it is a book about the messy lives of these trans women. i didnât find it depressing.Â
are the characters likeable? storygraph says âitâs complicatedâ. personally, i was emotionally invested in them at around the 50% mark. as someone who has never wanted children or been interested in motherhood at all, and also never been particularly moved by those who were, i was really hoping that things would work out for reese.
the question of race. amy and reese are very white and this is underlined in the book in a sufficiently self-aware (on the part of the author) way. i dont think this detracted from the book. more thoughts on this here.Â
sEx? some people have said there was a lot of sex in this book but i personally didnât really think so (by the standard of fanfic at least). i guess thereâs a decent number of talk about sex but not that many sex scenes?Â
is co-sleeping with your baby bad? the science says yes! sleeping in the same room is not the same as sleeping in the same bed!! this is the most problematic part of the bookÂ
unfortunately, (MINOR SPOILERS)
I didnât get the happy ending that I had desperately hoped for (though i probably shouldâve clocked something when it ended at 12 weeks post conception). Instead, we got an ambiguous ending that I guess could be seen as hopeful. Iâm the type of guy that wants closure in all my stories but alas.Â
#queer literature#queer fiction#book review#queer book rec#detransition baby#i did not intend for this to be this long#reading#reading time: 10 hours#read over 5 days
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âThose two things can exist at the same time. Like you said, it's allâit's all tangled up together, you and me.â
double page spread for one of my favorite luzo fics of all time, poly philtatos (the most beloved by far) by my good friend - @swordsmans!
I knew I wanted to do a double page spread the second I finished this fic and I drafted abt a dozen ideas before landing on what would ultimately become this. There were so many snippets and moments I wanted to illustrate but I ended up doing more of an abstracted version of the fic as opposed to 1:1 drawings of scenesÂ
funnily enough while the fic itself is told in zoros pov this spread is framed mostly through luffyâs eyes - his tears literally frame comp for their reunion, the moment he loses zoro, and the centerpiece of the first page which is this weird abstraction of him on the beach seeing zoros corpse-not-a-corpse in the waves just beyond his reach.Â
gyro put the crane wivesâ never love an anchor on the playlist for this fic which i heavily used as inspiration in picking ornamental things for the spread (the anchor, the fleet of ships by luffy, and the nautical rope splitting the second page). also just like. overall really heartbreaking lyrics guysÂ
there are smaller elements throughout the spread that are 1:1 references though (all i will say for these is if you know, you know hehe) i wish i had more time to do a lengthier piece for fanart for this fic bc it's one of the few luzo fics that have been rattling around in my brain forever now - once again please please please read poly philtatos if you haven't. gyro is a masterful writer and they deserve all the love! ok byeee
#i read this for the first time on a 18 hour flight and all i could do was pace the aisles and obsessively wipe at my eyes when i finished i#so i hope this conveys even 5% of that feeling#my design notes are like only 10% of what i want to say abt this fic. i am very ill#one piece#one piece fanart#luzo#zolu#zolu fic#monkey d. luffy#roronoa zoro#my art#one piece fanfiction#gear 5 luffy
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I went a little off the rails for a power-point-party, so I thought I'd share. Don't come at me about canonicity. Also yes, I spent hours using illustrator to make pose-able vector mando'ade.
Review from my friend: "I feel like I actually learned something?"
#star wars#starwarsblr#mandalorian#jaster mereel#Jango Fett#Boba Fett#star wars fanart#does anyone want or need this? no?#I spent maybe 10 hours on my powerpoint#after last time my friends gave me a hard 20-slide limit#also are you really going to tell me that âshabuirâ ISN'T MOTHERF*CKER?#fictional language#it's not even canon anymore why am I like this#this was learned through reading enough fan fiction to be able to tell what words are accurate and infer what they mean
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I wanted a new icon
#nu carnival#nu: carnival#nuă«ăŒăăă«#nukani#nucarnival#nu carnival dante#time will tell if I still like it in the morning#cause its not reading well at a small size rip#apologies if its deleted in 10 hours orz
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I am exhausted, good heavens.
#hey watch this neat trick I can do [cries]#love that for me#BUT#BUT- the actual EFFORT I put these days to not make a suicide jokes is *chefs kiss* phenomenal#actively shitting bricks as I physically have to stop myself from saying I want a car to hit me for the 50th time that day#I am not progressing any more than I am downgressing or whatever the opposite word is. but girlies#and boysies and peepsies#my lipgloss is popping and my eyebags are gucci- and so I shall prevail#MAN this tiredness is BONE DEEP man- it's like it's engraved into my goddamn clavicles#sorry that was like the only bone name I could remember- I don't even know what a clavicle is#anyways- I need to fall asleep forever and never wake up. But not in like a dying way#I just need to stop waking up tired and being tired and going to sleep tired and living tired like GIRL#WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN SLEEP STOPS SLEEPING#I JUST SLEPT 10 HOURS HOW ARE YOU STILL TIRED#I am so tired that i stopped liking shit- like that SUCKS my dudes#I sometimes Don't Like art now and that is WILD to me because that was lowkey the One Thing that got me going#I used to actually LIKE english class! and reading Shakespear and shit!!!! and history class!! Now I don't!! Where did the spark go??????#Now everything feels like a chooooooore and it sucks major dick#and my graaaades are slipping because I stopped giving a damn but I NEED. TO. GIVE. A. DAMN#because those are like highkey lowkey and every-other-key my grades and I need them to go into uni so I don't die <333#I need to spite little mini me who said I wasn't going to live past 13 because BITCH- guess how old I'm turning next week????????#THAT'S RIGHT- 17 YEARS OLD- FUCK YEAH BABY I'M STILL NOT DEAD#SUCK MY BIG ASS SHLONG MINI-ME#and then I have a big biology exam the day after so- funnnnn!!#anywho- should I tag this as vent? this probably counts as vent right? like among us? impostor and shit?#sorry I think my brain is actively rotting out of my ears right now#vent post#personal vent#tw vent#tw sui talk
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Arthur Morgan âȘïžââȘïž Red Dead Redemption 2
#when you just wanna ride around & take your time reading his diary but then 10 hours go by & you've done everything but read the damn diary!#I don't know why but losing myself in this game and characters again is exactly what I needed right now and makes me so freaking happy#and here are just some shots and I can never decided between 'messy hair' arthur or slicked back arthur...both are so hot#red dead redemption 2#red dead redemption two#red dead redemption#rdr2#arthur#arthur morgan
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Dear Laika
#Medicine Pocket#Voyager#reverse 1999#reverse 1999 fanart#this is a very quick doodle i had this idea for a long time now#mp x voyager and mp x kb is both laika as hellâŠ#read laika no hoshi btw#NOW#mochadoodles#10 minutes after this i got sad thinking abt laika#1 hour after im still sad about laika#a day after this it gets sadder im still thinking about laika god fuck help me#Medivoya#Voyapocket#nblnb#nblw
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the ra struggle summarized
#for context; tasha was flexing already finishing selenopolis and said she knew the Strat#and snaps at me and Destiny for taking time to read dialogue like normal people#which effectively makes us late for the battle#and was legit so horrible in giving instructions so it turned a 10 min battle into an hour#it just sucked lmaooo#if ur gonna tell someone to blade or trap#donât tell them AFTER THE TIMER IS UP#wizard101#w101
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first time getting arrested vs fiftiethÂ
(donât worry, ben will get used to it soon enough)
#ben 10#ben tennyson#kevin levin#bevin#ben 10 alien force#ben 10 ultimate alien#blue talks#fun fact! this took over 4 hours to do. most of that time was spent on ben. it was all done in mspaint using a mouse#fun easter egg! if u notice i changed the numbers on the signs to read as 10 and 11#another fun fact! i spent the most time on their hair. both of them. bens hair took forever and i could NOT get the shine on kevins right#i still am not satisfied with it honestly but im not honna spend any more time on it either lol#barbie
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There were 4 humans in the room. Where did 4 of the 5 upstairs big kids need to be?
On mom, of course.
(Emma is barely visible, just next to my hand on the left, behind Addy)
I have never felt more like Daine from Tamora Pierce's Tortall books.
#fbw rambles#my pets#animal pics#Addy pup#Emma pup#springy pup#phoebe kitty#idk i don't think they like me much#i had all 4 of them for at least 10 to 15 minutes before spring moved next to Emma#and then left#phoebe stayed on me for at least half an hour#Addy and Emma didn't move until i was headed to bed#and even then they looked after me like 'but why did you leave :c'#also i desperately wanted to be Daine for years after first reading her books in high school#i still use Daine as my name in video games most of the time#living the dream
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Based off of this I wrote like, not that long ago in the timeline of things.
#danganronpa#danganronpa art#danganronpa fanart#danganronpa comic#READ FROM LEFT TO RIGHT!#danganronpa makoto#makoto naegi#danganronpa byakuya#byakuya togami#danganronpa kyoko#kyoko kirigiri#she's brief but she's here!#basically naegami-centric#naegamigiri#naegirigami#tonaegiri#first time doing a big comic like this#my fingers! AH!#Gosh... I worked on all of this for 6 freaking hours#it's technically not much though i've never made a comic like this that wasn't more than 10 panels soooooo yeah! i did it though!!#even if i did have to reuse just a FEW assets#to ensure i didn't go insane of course!#this is so silly though#i put way too much effort into this
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It has begun.
Everyone, be safe. We'll make it through this tough time.
#i think i downloaded enough ff for a month even though i know i won't have time to read today#i checked and i have 172k in ff tbr#should be enough for 10 hours. while i work.#ao3#ao3 down#fanfiction#fanfic#ff
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This is what I have been working on this week. A4 paper in gouache. It's a rather difficult medium to work with. I do like the consistency, and the matte finish. But I found it hard to make the colours come out bright (I suppose gouache is like that?). I used coloured pencils and what is supposed to be oil pastels (it was straight up chalk lol). I think it could still use more work, but I fear I would just ruin it if I work any further. Overall, I'm happy with the result! Next up will be acrylics! Progress shots under the cut:
#gouache#lioness#drawing lions is actually fun#Worked on this in evenings#after work#omg yes the employment life began. back to school. elementary#i'm basically that meme now that goes#oh no i'm late for school!!! wait i'm an adult now *goes back to sleep*#I'M A TEACHER!!!!!!!!!!!#I have 10 thousand hobbies and now they must be crammed into the evening and weekends#i want to draw and game and work on my story and bake and read and and and#oh my god so much#maybe if i get rid of my phone i can make time for all of it#won't be surprised if it turns out i spend a total of 2 hours doom scrolling in bed
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i leave the uk and jobs at the tate open up?????????????
#insert series of expletives here#iâve got to get back to the uk so bad#also the british museum has openings and iâm not above working for the enemy idc idc idc idc#itâs so crazy wild reading uk job descriptions#27 paid vacation days to start out with ???? WHAT DO YOU MEAN ????? i get. 10. lmaoo#also full time is 35 hours at most places ?? scream! cry!
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may 10th. guess what day it is???
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KILLER SANS!!!!!
(my 1/3 pookie snookums baby fav squishy idiot) (he gets to go skydiving with his favorite buddies) (more under cut :3)
what happened after:
dust: oh... my... god.
horror: did i lose my eye? oh god, did it fall out?
killer: it's in your other socket.
horror: oh, it is? damn... hold on.
dust: ... i think that my soul left my body... i think i know what papyrus experiences everyday as a ghost now.
killer: oh, stop being so dramatic, dust. it's not that big of a deal, you fly around on your blasters all the time!
dust: wha- not that big of a deal? not that big of a deal?! it's different with my blasters because at least i have some form of ground to stand on, but skydiving is-
horror: okay, there we go, fixed. dust, shut the hell up. honestly, killer's idea was terrible in the moment, but now that i'm looking back at it... skydiving was kinda fun. so we're doing it again.
dust: what?! are you insane?! are both of you deranged and demented?? let- let go of me! no! no!!
horror: we are insane and demented. happy birthday killer. for once i'm actually glad you came up with this idea.
killer: aww, thanks horror, love ya too~
horror: nevermind.
okay that's it happy bday killer sans i love you so much you're one of my favorite characters and you're so interesting and cool hahaha i need you to stab me. (in a nice way) uhhhh who said that
more versions of that art below!!!!! btw i wrote a short oneshot for this little fellas bday 2 check it out :333
#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#sans au#sans#utmv#tricule art#rare DIGITAL tricule art???#more likely than you think#btw the oneshot is more mttpoly esque than the art so if you're not a fan of goofy goobers then don't read#in disbelief that this art only took 7 hours to complete when my usual digital stuff is 10+ hours#stares at that one piece that has almost 300 hours to its name#im so glad i did this in april i would have missed killers bday if i did it any later
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I loved the cowboy comic so much that I wrote a oneshot for it. https://archiveofourown.org/works/50934235 đ„ș your art is BEYOND amazing, ty for the food
INCREDIBLE!!!!!
#billdip#I honestly loved this story start to finish with the ambience and quick pace#hadn't considered the possibility of Bill and Dipper actually working *together* but it's always a good time when they do â€ïž#sorry it took so long to reblog đ„Č#I read it like- Right when you posted. But I had to catch a plane and then drive an extra hour home and immediately get on zoom for class#and today i was just all around exhausted so i slept roughly 70% of the entire day dndsjdndnd#all that to say that I had your fic in the back of my mind and I very much wanted to set some time aside and re-read it when I got the chan#honestly with how well you set things up I would've loved to see your own rendition of their first kiss#You established their relationship really well at the start and brought them together by the end after outsmsrtong those bandits#it feels like you have a better understanding of who they are to each other than even i do đ very much a fan#i love when stories incorporate those sort of 'habits' that the love interests fall into#that confuses character A while character B is so clearly using it as an excuse to get close and spend more time with them#i squealed like a maniac when Bill was like oooph lemme walk you home đđ€ #sir i am going to wrangle you up if you don't compose yourself#and Dipper's just wary of him because people as handsome as bill used to pick on him đą#little does he know he's grown into a 10/10 cutie patootie that any cowboy would be stupid NOT to smooch#I'm a simple man. I read oblivious low-confidence cowboy being pursued by a hottie on a horse. I lose my shit#Awesome wonderful writing!!! so happy to have caught your eye and i hope to continue pumping out content for this wonderfully weird ship
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