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thesorcerersapprenticeu · 2 months ago

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Chapter 8: Crushed

Summary:

The moment has come, the beginning of the trauma, and that's all anyone needs to say. Well, well, well! A D-D-D-D double update! Feel free to check out the chapter of my "Hold on" story, at least anyone who might be interested.

Notes:

I don't want to say too much, after all I've had far too much to do, but here it is. The beginning of all evil, the bearer of all trauma, and all because of you and Powder. Enjoy reading, and feel free to leave a comment and Kudos!

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You had already forgotten that the people from above, from Piltover, always called Zaun a shithole. Not exactly forgotten, you just tucked it away somewhere in the back of your mind, along with the rest of your life's information, before you were down here with Vander and the others.

However, you often remembered them, your real family. You always asked yourself "What are they doing today?", your siblings and your parents. Maybe they've become scientists, your siblings, and are now doing research at the Academy or somewhere else.

But you didn't care whether your parents ever really looked for you.

Normally you would not care, you are quite sensitive and had hoped for it at the beginning. The Undercity was cruel at first, dangerous and even the air was a risk for you. In the early days you probably would have planned an escape, but there was something.

You were not alone.

Powder and Vi, Claggor and Mylo, they were just as hopeless cases as you that Vander had taken in. You and the sisters spent the first few nights in the same room, while you were turned to the wall, playing dead, Vi kept trying to strike up a conversation.

You only answered when Powder tried. You don't know exactly why, but you had a bond with her because she was like you.

But although you got on better and better with everyone, you never really stopped thinking about Piltover. The mistakes of your past still haunt you like a shadow, every step a memory and every breath a mistake.

And what was going on now?

Vi. Was. Way.

While you're sitting in bed in the basement with Powder, she with the Bunny in her hand and you with a book, Claggor and Mylo seem to be planning something. They're running around in a panic, putting things on the table and literally screaming. You hear something about "enforcers" and an "attack".

But it probably wouldn't come to that anyway. While you continue to relax and try to compare your spellbook with the notebook from the Academy of this Jayce Talis, something happens.

"Well, if the enforcers hit tonight, we'll be ready..."

Your gaze goes across the room, along Powder's silhouette, hugging the Bunny tightly and listening to them. Then it hits the table with weapons on it.

Surely they'll never be able to fight the Enforcers with that? Especially because of the armor, you need something stronger.

You look at the table again as your hand seemingly automatically picks up the Enforcer gadget in your coat pocket. What lies on the table in front of Mylo and Claggor, and their hope against the Enforcers, is almost embarrassing.

Vanders gauntlets, a wooden bat, a glass bottle, a key? Mylos lockpick? And a small array of nuts and bolts?

"Dibs on the Bat." Says Claggor as he points to the table.

You won't win a single battle with that! They're not seriously going to pull that off, are they? And anyway, where is Vi?

"No no no no, I found it."

"But I called it."

"I found it"

"Respect the dibs, I called it already."

While the two of them continue their unnecessary discussion, you are more worried about Powder and Vi. As you watch, Powder tries to hold back tears with her beautiful blue eyes, something you've been doing for the last two hours. She gently strokes the bunny's head and looks in your direction, your eyes increasingly deciding to let a few tears flow.

Where is Vi? Has something happened to her? Was she perhaps taken by the Enforcers? Damn! Normally she always comes back!

Suddenly, out of nowhere, the door is ripped open. Your mind can barely follow as Powder jumps out of bed and runs over, blocking your view. It was Vi, you're very sure of it.

""Where's the -" She's cut off as powder charges into her, holding her tightly. She had a huge smile on her face as she hugged her sister. Actually, you would have run right in with Powder, hugging Vi and feeling safe. But something is wrong.

Why is she alone? Where is Vander? Where did she come from, and why does she have that look on her face?

Vi appeared distressed, worried and fearful all at the same time. She trembles slightly and you can literally see the shiver following her. Something must have happened to affect even a strong person like her. It looked like she had scars in her eyes, scars that reflect the trauma that happened, and that's what's important now.

Vi takes a deep breath, and as you analyze it, she does her best not to cry in front of Powder. She shakes her head slightly, and walks over to the table where the 'weapons' are. But unlike Mylo and Claggor, you saw right away that she was damn serious. It was that look again, where it looked like she had a fire in her eyes that wouldn't stop at anything or anyone. Your suspicions were confirmed even more when she suddenly reaches for Vander's Gauntlets, which also caught Mylo's attention.

"Hey. Those are Vander's. Slown Down- What's going on?"

The room is dead quiet, not even the wind can be heard. Your own thoughts circulate around Mylo's question, Vi's strange behavior must have a reason after all, but what reason was so bad that she would reach for Vander's gun.

You look to Powder, unlike you, she seems to have understood something. The look of sadness and worry in her eyes tells you that Vi probably doesn't want to talk about it, so it's pretty damn bad.

Vi looks up, and you immediately notice that despite her seriousness, the fire in her eyes was no longer there. She answers in a low voice, looking down slightly and almost frightened.

"Benzo's dead"

What? I must have misheard. Benzo? Vander's friend Benzo? Why? How? Who?

The tension is at an all-time high, nobody can believe what they have just heard. No one is looking at anyone, no one is talking, no one is breathing and no one is moving even a little bit. It's surreal to think that just a moment ago there was such a warlike, loud atmosphere here.

Claggor, who seems to be wondering the same thing as you, breaks the tension like a hot knife through butter. But not as sad and distraught as you or Powder, no, he answers Furious.

"Dead?"

"They took Vander."

While Vi looks away, apparently out of frustration at not having been able to help, Mylo now also gets involved.

"Who took Vander?"

Vi shakes her head, it looks like she wants to do it alone, either she has a score to settle or there's a lot more to it than that.

"I don't know, but I need to help him."

Mylo responds directly to her statement without wasting a second. It's as if he hadn't even heard her, but one thing was apparently clear to everyone:

"We're going with you."

Vi, looks around. One look at the weapons, another at you, and especially one at you. Her gaze softens for a moment as she looks from you to Powder, but then something seems to come back to her. Her gaze becomes serious, almost set and already fighting.

"Whatever killed Benzo...was like noting I've ever seen. It tore him apart"

Impossible. Not even Vander could tear a man like Benzo apart, that much strength would be beyond his body. Unless the person doesn't count as human, maybe something like a drug to go beyond the human limit?

But who would create such a drug? Or more importantly, why? Why did they kill Benzo but take Vander? Do they want Vander...

You follow Powder's gaze on Vi's fist as you continue to think, slowly the pieces of the puzzle fall into place and the decision seems clear: another riot. Led by Vander back then, this one to be led by monsters or fully drugged humans? And probably also by Vander, but this time even more dangerous than then.

Claggor, standing behind her, places his hand on her back in a comforting manner. He also looks quickly around the room, especially at Mylo, and starts talking.

"You're not doing this alone, Vi."

Mylo, who quickly stands next to them, wraps one of his arms around Vi and continues to cheer her up.

"He's our father too. And our friend. Do you know where they took him?"

They continue talking, but too quietly for you to hear properly. You quickly wipe away your tears with your sleeve and put your two books in the pockets of your coat. At the same time you keep a strong grip on the enforcer gadget, you would certainly need it, after all it has already proven once how useful it is with the rotation.

Powder runs past you, at a small crate that was filled to the brim with inventions. She quickly grabs out a couple, as many as she can carry, and walks slowly in Vi's direction.

Vi doesn't look at her, as reaches down and takes one of Vander's gauntlets, puts it in a bag with a few other weapons and swings it over her shoulder,

"The old cannery, near the docks. He said..."

She doesn't finish the sentence, walks slowly in your direction and you panic. Her serious look as she slowly walks to your bedside scares you about the whole situation. You slowly realize the gravity of the situation, with Benzo's death and Vander's imprisonment, everything will now come to an end.

Vi doesn't look down at you, she kneels down and looks you in the eye. She looks at you, the little frightened boy, in such a way that you feel the calmness behind her behavior; the pure patience to solve the whole situation without leaving problems behind. What would you do for good? Could you do anything at all with your rather tiny power?

"Y/N...I know you want to help...prove yourself." Her voice is soft as it meets your ears, as are her eyes and features, all of which are comfortingly soothing. But you don't understand what exactly she's hinting at until a few seconds later.

Why doesn't she want me around? Does she see me like Mylo, just as a burden? Or am I not worth saving Vander? Why? Why Vi?

"I -

"And Powder...I'm gonna need you to sit this one out." She sighs, but no matter how calmly Vi says it, the meaning remains the same.

Powder's entire expression falls, you see how she breathes faster and barely holds the inventions. It's all about to collapse. Then Powder takes a furious stance, raises her eyebrows and responds according to her feelings.

"What?!"

"You're not coming. "

"I'm not afraid! "

"It's too dangerous. "

"But families stick together. You said it yourself."

"I know what I said."

"But-!" Powder stops her angry replies for a moment, turning to the bed and dropping her eyes to your form. She sees you, looking not only sad, but disappointed, as well as her. For a moment she sees your tears, threatening to flow because of the realization, but you say nothing, which pushes her further. "We Want to Fight! We can help, Me and Y/N-

"You're NOT Ready!"

Silence fills the room again. As a shock runs through you and Powder at Vi's statement, Vi takes a step towards her. You can't process it, it feels like time has stopped for a moment, the fact that Vi thinks neither you nor Powder can do anything to help hurts more than anything. It was like back then with your parents and siblings.

"You and Y/N, you're all I have left. I can't lose you"

Then why are you leaving us alone?

It hurt, a deep ache in your heart that runs through your whole body and makes your bones brittle. You notice the tears slowly streaming down your cold face, leaving a feeling of warmth that seems too short and too foreign.

You get up, walk closer to Vi and stand right next to Powder, who looks at you with tears in her eyes. But somewhere inside both of you was the urge to prove yourself, to finally show them that you're not just dead weight.

Vi takes her hand off Powder's cheek, where she has just been wiping tears, which has only made it worse. She reaches into the bag and pulls out a flare, which she gives to Powder with the instruction:

"Here. If they for you both, take this and run. Wherever you are, light it up and I'll find you. I promise."

Powder's hands reach for the object, she turns to you and you both look down at Vi's promise. She puts her forehead against her sisters. They embrace for a moment, one with tears in her eyes and the other with a look of pure determination.

Then, to you. She goes down again, wraps her arms around your back and hugs you like a cuddly toy. You hug Vi too, continue to cry quietly and don't really want to let go. But before she lets you go, you look at Powder again, which Vi sees, and whispers something in your ear.

"Protect her."

With that, she leaves, Claggor and Mylo behind her and right by the stairs. As she closes the door, she takes one final glance through the small gap, looking at it as if her heart would break. You and Powder are literally devastated with tears in your eyes as you look at her.

But that's exactly what they have to do to protect you.

And with a final glance, she is gone.

Everyone was gone, only you and Powder were left in the room. Like pets left behind without use, you were to stay there while the others freed Vander, without you.

That's so unfair. Why are they all going without us? Why always the two of us?

Powder was sitting up in bed again, but was completely upset. Tears streaming down her cheeks, a suitcase was open next to her, with Vi's Bunny doll sitting inside, the Crystals in the doll's arms.

Powder's whole life had just been turned upside down, her sister was away with her bigger 'brothers'. And she was here, with you, but completely useless according to the others. Just as useless you two always were on the jobs Vi picked up somewhere, just as useless when there were heavy things to carry, just as useless as when Benzo died and just as useless as when Vander was taken away.

We can help in other ways, can't we? While they somehow distract the people holding Vander captive, we can free him. We can help... We can...

Your thoughts are circling around each other, while you haven't moved a bit. You look like a mental patient, still standing in the exact same spot as the last time Vi looked through the door. The only difference now was your head, which was much lower than before, and your face.

Your face was absolutely blank. A serious look, huge eyes that showed nothing but anger and fear and an aura that you had never had before in your life.

The Situation is breaking you down to your core, breaking your character in the worst possible way to annihilate the toxic traits you have. Your stubbornness, fear of weakness and self-destructive behavior were always going to catch up to you, sometime.

It is our fault. It is our fault, because we are weak, because we couldn't defend Vander, because even though Vander was Captured, he is still stronger than me and Powder combined. Can we ever help?

Powder keeps crying, and even though it hurts like hell to hear her like that, you won't be able to do anything about it anyway, why should you? you're weaker than anything else in this damn world.

A monkey's head suddenly flies across the room, bounces off the wall and hits the floor, where the situation slowly gets your attention. Still, the monkey toy doesn't stop and clapping is cymbals together as it spun in a circle. Powder screams louder, but you don't stop her, your mind is in too much of a storm right now for that.

You can still hear her crying, screaming and whispering. She seems overwhelmed, her own sister has rejected her, it was the worst thing she's ever had to endure. She stands up quickly as you slowly look in her direction, grabbing the suitcase and holding it over her head.

Normally you would either say something or think something when you see it, but your mind is completely blank.

The monkey stops, and the only thing you hear in the room is Powder's ragged breathing. Then she drops to her knees, drops the suitcase and watches the Little Blue Crystals fall out. Your eyes follow the Little Crystals as memories from the apartment come flooding back. The magic you felt back then and the huge power of the gems.

The Explosion Crystals? She still has them?

Apparently the memories wash over Powder, the Crystals on the floor spark out something minimally like electricity, and she has grown huge eyes. The crying stops, the sudden breathing stops, and the only thing that remains is a path. The path that will now change everything.

She turns around, meets your eyes with hers and hastily begins to speak.

"We-!" She stops for a moment, bends down and packs the Crystals into her small hip pocket. Then she runs a hand skeptically through her hair, which was now in front of her face and completely disorganized. "We can help them!"

What is she up to? Does she want to follow them? What are we supposed to do with the Crystals to help them? Wouldn't they destroy the whole cannery?

"If we bind these to the monkey, we can send him to the bad guys and..." She takes a deep breath, lets her cheeks swell and holds her hands in front of her face. Then she moves slightly closer to you, your eyes still focused on her face. "Boom."

"Are you...sure about that?" You were afraid, the previous anger was gone and it left you feeling empty. But you couldn't think logically about the power of the crystals right now. "What if they hit us?"

"That won't happen! " It was funny to think that she was crying a minute ago, but now she seems so full of energy. "Come on we can do that...just you and me."

Maybe it was the warm feeling in your stomach that made you turn the corner and join in. Or maybe it was the feeling of having to prove yourself that was suddenly in the foreground for both of you, especially after Vi left you here.

"Protect her"

You feel lightly at the pockets of your cloak: your spellbook, the notebook from the apartment and the Enforcer Rotation Gadget. Everything you needed was there.

And with one look into Powder's eyes, you could see that the previous sad, abandoned look had changed. There was a fire in her eyes, a blue that seemed just like her Sapphire colored eyes...Pure Determination. But here, where it was all or nothing, it was a Dark Determination that put everything at stake.

With that you nod.

"Okay...Let's go then!"

And with that, you were on your way to pure ruin, which will change everything forever.

Powder knew exactly where the Cannery was. But to get there, you had to take the path she suggested, not the normal one. There seemed to be something like a warehouse right next to it, but how you got there... You had to crawl through a tunnel.

But it was the safest way, well, safe in the sense of no people. But if you look at the huge walls you crawl past, everything seems useless in terms of safety. A bad feeling slowly lines up in your stomach, something, something bad is going to happen.

Powder continues to crawl in front of you while she keeps one hand on the waist bag, you keep one on the Rotation Enforcer gadget for safety.

While it goes on, however, your mind is already thinking ahead, for all purposes.

They will definitely encounter opponents, and then they will have to fight. Although, Vi will be able to fight them, even if it depends a lot on the crowd and the opponent. Mylo, meanwhile, will free Vander, and Claggor is there to help.

You look forward, and at the same moment Powder looks back at you, and you can't help but smile a little. But still, the fire in her eyes is like Vi's, and that means that somehow everything will be alright.

And then we both come along, flatten the bad guys with our homemade bomb and save the day. No, we'll just save everyone! We'll prove to Vander and Vi that we're worth existing! We're here just like you, we're neither useless nor unimportant!

You can't avoid it: It all feels like the calm before the storm. The last time you were considered so unimportant was with your physical parents, and that ended with you running off and meeting Vander at the bridge. But here? Vander was trapped, people with a lot of power are trying to bring everything down and you have to survive somehow.

That's where the bad feeling in my stomach came from.

"All good Y/N?" Powder asks, with her head forward and a slow view out of the tunnel.

"...Yeah...All good." You answer, quietly and with a guilty conscience that you're not getting it for her, from your bad feeling.

So there you both were, outside, peeking through a window that was blocked by a pair of wooden planks. Powder scans the area while you try not to fall off the small stone step that was by the window because of your poor sense of balance.

You look through the window, and gasps. Vi is facing a man twice her height and width, it looks like an unwinnable fight, and right now that means you and Powder need to act as fast as possible.

The cool air that just touches every freed part of your skin. Your heartbeat, which is pounding through your whole body and stopping in your ears. The adrenaline pumping through your body and making all your limbs fidget.

A small rustle catches your attention, which at first seems like a shock that makes your eyes widen and your legs twitch, but it was harmless. Powder reaches into her pocket and pulls out one of her inventions:

The monkey doll, which is now transformed into your weapon.

Deckard, unknown to you, tops outside, bumps into the door where the others were and startles you. Powder startles, as do you, and slowly becomes jittery. It's getting harder to breathe, and it feels like the climax of your life is about to come.

Powder takes two of the crystals and puts them in gizmo's, the monkey's, container. She closes it quickly and looks behind, the monkey's trajectory seems to become clear. The two of you, in a moment of tension, put your heads together, feeling the warmth of hers, and she whispers something to the monkey.

"You have to Work...For us, okay?" Powder says, in a soft voice that gives you goose bumps and red spots on your cheeks.

She holds her forehead against it for a brief moment before she winds up her intention. She grabs the monkey through the window, taps it on the head and lets it run off with clapping cymbals. Your panic rises; if anything goes wrong, lives will end and yours probably will too.

Come on little monkey, just work.

While the Monkey walks, the cymbals clap and leave a sound. The crystals begin to crack and spark as they become more and more unstable with each hit.

The explosion will be damn strong, one stone was already enough in the apartment to take the whole building down, but we need one to save everyone.

Deckard stops his attack against the door, and turns to the monkey. His face holds a confused expression as he slowly looks down at the object. As you hide many meters away, panic slowly rises within you.

Because...

The bomb did not explode.

Something must have gone wrong.

You panic, turn backwards and look through the window. You couldn't see the monkey, but that only fueled your panic and the adrenaline in your blood. But the monkey wasn't far away, you would only have to take a few steps and you could detonate it manually.

Why didn't the monkey ignite? It should have exploded immediately when the cymbals banged because of the movement.

In that moment, you make a millisecond decision that changes everything and everyone.

"I'm sorry Powder."

You don't give her time to react, it would have been too painful for your heart and you wouldn't have been able to bear it. A quick foot on the floor and you throw yourself into the window, hear Powder's voice behind you and turn up.

And there you were for a second, straight out in front of Deckard. You literally jumped out of the corner, and his gaze met you immediately. Hungry veins drenched with Lillan fluid point in your direction as your eyes meet his.

You and Deckard, who remained focused on the enemy that faced them. But no matter how quickly he would have tried to react in this situation, you were far quicker:

You yank your right arm out of your coat pocket and pull out the Enforcer gadget, time seems to stand still as your eyes scan the whole situation once more, for the last time.

In front of you, right on the ground, is Powder's monkey bomb, which you now have to activate manually. A few meters in front of you Deckard, a monster disguised as a human, who was pumped full of drugs and would tear you apart in a second. But for everyone else present, the realization came a moment too late, putting you in the position of death.

With an outstretched right arm, you throw your self-named 'Steel Ball' at the Little Monkey Bomb with full force. For a moment, everyone looks from afar, even the people you didn't recognize at first: Silco and Sevika. As if the rest of the situation had become completely uninteresting, everyone looked at the little boy and the seemingly floating steel ball, which was flying towards the monkey at breakneck speed.

Your mind was completely blank, not a single thought dared to question your determination. But still, rooted somewhere in your mind was the knowledge of what was about to happen.

But unfortunately, the realization came a moment later to Deckard. And still a few moments later to the others. But it was too late.

But in the whole situation, you were already so far gone that there would never be a person who would understand your thought flow.

Even if I desperately tried to run away, the explosion would hit me anyway. So I can stop right here and take them all with me.

An Apology Is A Promise To Do Things Differently Next Time, And To Keep The Promise...

"Protect her"

I'm sorry Vi.

Everything simply exploded.

Your 'Steel Ball' didn't even get to pop on impact and let out the Thin Steel Wires. The monkey exploded within a fraction of a millisecond; the whole warehouse shakes, it flies into the air and the fire rises up into the sky, leaving a noticeable blue color and smoke.

Powder was launched from her position but... she wasn't scared. She had nothing to fear, she proved herself. And thus begins her love of explosions and the feeling of always having to prove herself to others.

Deckard was there one moment and gone the next, the explosion absolutely shredded him and threw him away. With that, the explosion made its way to Silco, but before it could wound him directly, Sevika shoved him back through a doorway and took the brunt of the explosion for him.

The Shimmer stockpile ignited into flames as the explosion made contact. The fire traveled down through the entire factory and made its way into a room where a scientist was consecrating. He barely had time to react before the fire engulfed him completely.

The blast entered the room where all of the others were. When one of the shards hit the ceiling, the blast knocked Claggor's goggles off and sent a splatter of his blood with it. He was thrown into the wall and died instantly, a nightmare for him, but a dream for the others.

A metal pipe stabbed Mylo's shoulder, sending him into the wall as well, but he wasn't dead. He looked over and saw his friend's body, but he couldn't find him alive. He tried to pry the pipe out of his shoulder but stopped when he heard the unforgettable sound of cracking. He looked up and could only watch as the concrete slabs fell on top of him. He didn't survive.

As Powder fell through the air, time slowed. She reached out and gently touched a particle of magic with her finger.

She was happy.

She proved herself.

And she was even prouder that you did the same.

Vander was lying on his front with a large stone slab on top of him, that had fallen from the ceiling along with the concrete that had fallen upon Mylo. The explosion had forced the door from its position and knocked Vi over, the door resting firmly on top of her unmoving figure.

Vander woke up slowly, grunting in pain as his whole body was riddled with pain. He looks around as best he can to take in his surroundings. That's when he sees the sights he wished he hadn't. He saw the limp arm of Mylo hanging out of the rubble. Then Claggor's goggles in the middle of the floor, cracked and bloodied.

But everyone was only hit by the shockwave, not like you. The direct explosion, the released energy was released from one second to the next and created a detonation that was unsurpassed.

And that's exactly where you were.

But your luck at that moment was second to none:

Your Steel Ball was swung over you by the shockwave, protecting you from all the building pieces falling on you. He jumps up, letting the steel wires radiate out and stopping many of them before they all hit you and kill you outright. But of course he can't stop everything.

A long and pointed wooden plank goes along the steel wires, but is not held in place. As you are burned by the explosion and pushed away, you land on your stomach, back up. At first you don't feel the pain at all, it doesn't feel like a plank of wood is stabbing through your ribs and intestines, tangling in them, hoping to rip them out miserably.

But of course that's not all: a few of the large piles of stones hit the steel wire and destroy your shield, saving your pathetic life from death. However, unfortunately for you, a large, sturdy stone falls straight down at high speed and buries your right arm.

But that's not all, in addition to the unbearable pain, because your brain can't create more adrenaline, there are the remaining stones that bury you alive. With a huge weight they press your weak little body to the ground and deny you any movement you could possibly think of.

So there you were, after everything you've been through so far: Buried alive, with a completely crushed arm and two spellbooks in the pockets of your cloak. Blood draining from your body. Oxygen slowly running out. Hope already extinguished. All were indicators of the condition you had only read about in books until now:

Death.

Normally you would be screaming now, for help or anything that your blood-filled lungs would allow. All your thoughts would end logically and with full hope that "someone will come and save me". But now? Most of the others were injured or dead. Because of you and Powder.

So you just stop thinking, breathing or simply living. You wouldn't be able to cope with the disappointment that you are any other way. Because of one thing you finally wanted to do right, so many have been hurt and died.

A little blood makes its way out of your mouth, even though you have already given up, you lift your head as far as you can and simply let the substance flow out. The red, warm, metal-tasting substance reads out of your mouth and stains the ground beneath you red. But through watery eyes you see the entire floor beneath you is red, not just through your mouth, but through your intestines and your crushed arm.

"Silco!"

What was it exactly, did you just hear a voice? Or are you already in a near-death experience and just needed a little push to the other side? But you think for a moment, it sounded like Vander, but deeper and more like a monster. But with this brief thought, the pain you are slowly feeling at full height and the feeling of failure, you give up.

But not quite.

You could hear another voice a few moments later, but only softly and interrupted by your loud heartbeats. It must have been Powder's, the only voice that sounded happy in this situation. With the last of your strength, which you thought had left you some time ago, you smile.

"Because you're a Jinx! DO YOU HEAR ME?! MYLO WAS RIGHT!"

The last power in your body gave its all to listen in, just before the end came. Everything else became quieter, the burning of the fire, the sound of the wind, your breathing and simply everything.

"No. No. No. No. Violet, please!"

The moment you stopped absolutely on your life, you missed something. On the one hand, the quiet weeping of Powder, but on the other hand...

Did you miss the blue light shining out from under the stone where your right arm is buried? You didn't see the piece of a corpse that came closer and closer to your arm either, but everything has its time.

And with that you speak your last words... At least before your rebirth as "The Sorcerer's Apprentice".

Powder... I'm sorry... I'm really sorry... I wanted to believe... I really wanted to believe that I could do something for once... Goodbye. Powder... goodbye.

---

Notes:

Holy shit, what a chapter! The end of a life will always come, whether before or through illness. But this death is already quite hard for someone like you, but it's only the consequence of your actions. Thanks for reading, as I said, leave kudos and a comment on this terrifying chapter!

#Magic #male reader #Blood and Gore #Friends to Lovers #Enemies to Lovers #Enemies to Friends to Lovers #arcane #lol #league of legends #jinx #caitlyn kiramman #Vi #ekko arcane #sevika #arcane x male reader

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impulsivebehaviornsfw · 2 months ago

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Safe and Responsible CNC Guidelines

I’ve been back here for a few days, scrolling through posts, and noticed a trend among some of the discussions. Whether it’s about playing a role or taking things a bit too far, I figured it’s worth putting out my one and only disclaimer about CNC (consensual non-consent) and related topics.

First and foremost, it’s important to remember: this is all fiction. Whether it’s a story in a book, a photo, or a film, every single depiction involves consenting adults. Those scenes are carefully planned, rehearsed, and executed with safety guidelines in place. There are built-in breaks for physical and mental wellbeing, and everyone involved understands the boundaries and expectations before anything happens.

I’m bringing this up because I fear some folks may be romanticizing or misunderstanding this concept. If not handled correctly, this can lead to harmful situations—for you or someone else. So, if you’re interested in exploring this type of dynamic, here are some guidelines to keep it safe, consensual, and as enjoyable as possible for everyone involved:

Legal Consent: Everyone participating must be of legal age. No exceptions.

Clear Communication: Discuss everything beforehand. Free use might sound like “anything, anytime,” but real life happens—some days just aren’t feasible for X, Y, or Z reasons. Discuss those scenarios and how to handle them. Also, some people need a signal or heads-up before initiating a scene. It doesn’t ruin the experience—it ensures everyone can agree or opt out.

Know and Respect Limits: You and your partner(s) should regularly discuss boundaries. What’s exciting one day might feel completely off-limits the next. Likewise, you might discover new things you enjoy over time. Keep the conversation open and ongoing.

Read Body Language: Safewords are essential, but don’t rely on them alone. Learn to read your partner’s body language. A scene can go from thrilling to distressing if someone mentally shuts down and you don’t recognize it because they didn’t use a safeword.

No Lasting Damage: Physical or mental scars aren’t a badge of honor. The goal is mutual enjoyment, not harm. Always prioritize care and safety.

Establish Identity Signals: If masks, costumes, or roleplay are involved, make sure there’s a way to confirm identity. Everyone needs to know who they’re engaging with.

Stop When Needed: If you or your partner feel uncomfortable at any point, stop immediately. Respect that. Pushing boundaries without consent is not only wrong—it’s dangerous.

Keep Talking: The more you communicate, the better the experience will be. Clear, honest conversations build trust and make everything smoother and safer.

When done responsibly, this type of play can be a lot of fun and even a way to help your partner unwind after a tough day. But without a solid foundation of communication and respect, it can easily go very wrong. Always prioritize safety, consent, and your partner’s boundaries. If everyone is on the same page, it can be an incredible experience.

Stay safe, communicate often, and take care of one another.

#k!nk blog #k!nk community #k!nks #k!nky girl #cnc k!nk #cnc free use #rough cnc #free use slvt #use my pussy #k!nky thoughts #bd/sm community #bd/sm brat #bdsmplay

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citrusscale-remastered · 3 months ago

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Do you have any Magisterium headcanons

OH BOY DO I!!

Okay, first of all I believe that Sarah and Alastair would not have lasted had she survived, but the thing keeping them together was that Call was an oops baby in the middle of the war. Also another telling thing was that Alastair wasn’t in the ice cave with them, but you know who was? DECLAN! I bet that Alastair’s internal monologue there was going, welp, there’s no way I’m gonna be a better parent than Sarah and I’m feeling the need to self sacrifice and die in battle so she and her brother can go raise the kid. also, I’m feeling guilty about not preventing Constantine’s descent into madness and murder.

and then they died and Alastair became the kind of parent that lets their kid eat dirt and drive at twelve.

next, CONSTANTINE MADDEN BLEACHES HIS HAIR PLATINUM BLOND. (and Jericho does not. He is very happy with normal brown hair.)

When Sarah got pregnant, her parents were Not pleased so Alastair and Sarah had a super fast civil ceremony at the town hall to appease them. Then Sarah died and her parents got super pissed at Alastair, (and Alastair’s parents are dead) so that’s why Call has no grandparents.

Alastair’s wedding ring was buried with Sarah.

Alastair and Constantine had a very messy friends with benefits relationship (that literally went until Constantine blew up a section of the Magisterium and ran off) where they both had feelings for each other but never said anything.

The Maddens are from Russia. They are also Catholic. Will not elaborate.

Call got babysat by Miranda (that tailor/antique shop lady from TBK) a solid bit when he was super young. Alastair needs his screaming and sobbing time by himself without freaking out his Tiny Baby Three Year Old.

After the Cold Massacre, Alastair almost became a Devoured trying to heal Call with earth magic but pulled himself back cause gotta be a human to raise My Son !!!

Alastair is also in Crippling Medical Debt from Call’s canonical Many Surgeries.

Alastair has no concept of children’s books so Call got read Shakespeare for bedtime stories.

Call is a white chocolate hater.

Constantine had a wolf named Mayhem so when Call brought home a wolf named Havoc Alastair was like, ah, the consequences of my actions have come back to haunt me

Aaron was seriously considering going into the military before he found out that he had magic.

The Rajavis are for real rich famous people outside of the magic world too.

Only child Jasper. Lots of cousins (for his parents to compare him to) though

Bilingual Jasper but Boy is he completely illiterate in Japanese

Ravan was a huge wake up call for mage parents to stop teaching their kids to learn magic through dangerous methods (like the whole eating matches for fire, blood for air kinda stuff in the first book)

One of Gwenda’s parents isn’t a mage and has her enrolled in summer school so that she actually knows like, physics and calculus and shit.

Alex is a strong believer in Sun In. However appalling the result is, Call still finds him cool.

Alex plays piano pretty well for being self taught. (Most of the things he can do is self taught. Don’t think about that too much)

When Aaron was in foster homes, he cut his own hair with kitchen scissors in the bathroom. The first time the Rajavis take him to get his hair cut, he thinks that it looked better when he did it himself.

During TCG, the Rajavis were in the process of adopting Aaron cause it would look super good for the Makar to have such a strong connection to them. (And totally Not to replace Ravan)

Call eats styrofoam

Ravan was Tamara’s favorite sister.

After TCG, Tamara learns how to drive (normally) from Stebbins. When her parents enroll her in formal driving lessons right before TSM, they’re a little surprised at how “naturally” good she is.

Before the Magisterium, Tamara learned flute and violin. Call is completely tone deaf, and Aaron can plunk out some pop song chords on a keyboard.

Every single time they have an oddly specific problem, their “I know a guy” is Aaron.

#magisterium #callum hunt #aaron stewart #jasper dewinter #constantine madden #alastair hunt #tamara rajavi #sarah novak #asks

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wolfsrainrules · 2 months ago

Text

A Quiet Night AU- A DC/ A Quiet Place fusion thought Long Post

Sooooo I was watching A Quiet Place (which I love deeply, it was such a DIFFERENT handle on horror movies, watching that in a theater was a RIDE) and I am neck deep in DC and had t h o u g h t s. Please keep in mind that I have only fandom knowledge of DC and am playing with the death angels (name of the Quiet Place creatures) make up for this au:

To Start:

AU is an AOB verse, cause I wanted to play with what a situation like this would do to instincts and packs and I need everyone to do the thing we do with comics where we apply “Comic Book Logic” to why these death angels succeed in invading the Earth. Why the metas and supers didn’t get them out, because this verse would be taking place AFTER the world has been invaded, and the creatures have wiped out QUITE a large chunk of Earth’s population. Read the VERY LONG ramble about this verse under the cut.

We have Alphas Jay and Cass, Omegas Tim and Dick, Damian is unpresented but approaching the time he would present properly, and he’s an Alpha-to-be. Alfred, Steph and Duke are Betas.

The Death Angels: For those not in the know, they are large, kind of spider-like in movements, VERY fast, and fully armored. The armor stands up to bullets and knives, and explosions can toss them but don’t seem to do damage. They’re entirely blind, have claws and a mouth full of sharp teeth and their hearing is VERY sharp. Their head opens to expose soft insides that work like a super-ear, tracking sound, and that’s really the only vulnerable spot, and they can’t swim. That’s all canon to their verse. I’m playing with them a little, so that the planet they come from is laced so deeply with kryptonite they’ve adapted to sort of work on supers, as in they can’t use their powers on them. I’m upping that armor to be stronger than standard canon, as we do have metas running around and I want them to really only be vulnerable while hunting and exposing the ear to hunt.

It means to kill them, you have to get close enough to be heard, to be HUNTED. You have to be clever. Usually with some kind of blade, as most other things (especially guns) are too loud, and even if it works it brings the hundreds of death angels in the area, every single one that heard it, your way and then your fucked. On top of all of that- if they close the plates of armor that shield their ‘ear’ bullets don’t penetrate it, and blades skitter off. You have to get to that soft unshielded ear to take them out. The hearing was picked up real quick by the Bats and they tried to use that.

On technicality, very high pitched feedback sounds can fuck with their hearing, and cause them pain, usually making he plates that cover the ear kind of…lock up? And then they stagger around, can’t track people or what’s around them, and the ‘ear’ stays exposed cause the plates of armor are locked in an open position, even if they’re jerking around like animatronics move trying to make the sound make sense and stop hurting.

I’m messing with that cause I want to make this more difficult lol. If you manage to mess with the main method of hearing, the death angels are evolved to slam the armor plating that covers their ‘ear’ closed, block out the sound, and shift to a low clicking-purr sound that vibrates their body and acts as a makeshift sonar type ability over the kind of echolocation they’d been using, reading the vibrations of it through their legs and basically triangulating prey and obstacles around them and it makes them more dangerous because it’s a response to being hurt and they do NOT appreciate it.

In canon rain/waterfalls can hide you, if you keep the sound level under the sound of the water. I’m going to keep that, saying the rain hitting the ground hard enough can sort of hide people from that sonar too, if you move carefully. Caves are also a good place to hide- provided the death angels don't get inside. Which means the Bat-Cave is a kind of ‘safe’ space, far enough underground they can speak softly, and the equipment inside is safe to run, so long as they are careful with the clock-entrance.

I babbled to wintersnight (@iphoenixrising) for a good while about this AU (@north-peach doesn’t like horror, she thinks the protags are all stupid and it drives her nuts so she missed this ramble lol) but Winter followed my logic and encouraged me to actually post this somewhere lol

Leading into the Next Important Thing:

Cities are death traps. All that confined space and the noise of it? The death angels came in like moths to a flame. Large groups of moving people trying to evacuate? Too much noise. Death angels stampede in and hit the group like a pack of wolves cornering prey.

Gotham was one city of many that hit hard and fast. The Bats are good at what they do, but they’re not omniscient no matter what anyone thinks. It was so fast.

This verse would be covering the AFTER of the invasion of the death angels, AFTER they’ve swarmed the world, after so many have died. This verse would be the ‘post-apocalypse’ survival AFTER.

Zeta-tubes are technically usable to get them out, and up to the Watchtower, but the sound of them activating is loud enough to pull the death angels, and the tube gets destroyed in their hunt for the sound. This also works in reverse- if you use them to come back down, the creatures will swarm towards whoever arrived, and the tubes still end up getting destroyed.

Coming back to the AOB concept:

I love how all of what’s happening opens the chance to play with their instincts and protective territorial instincts. The urge to den down in a defensive position. To patrol their chunk of space, keep their pack alive and safe

To fight.

They were all scattered when the invasion happened, so they have to work their way back to the cave by foot, cars are too loud, and their grapleguns make enough sound to also be unusable when firing as well as anchoring down. They can’t open the hidden entrances for vehicles, it’s too loud and opens a way straight in, so they have to find other ways in. If they can get into the manor, the clock would be an option, it opens smooth and quiet, but the trade off is risking any sounds inside the cave traveling up the stairs and getting the location found.

So most of the Bats running around Gotham are going to sneak into the hidden natural entrances into the cave systems and navigate back to the cave. Defenses and redirects are going to be set up to prevent death angels from getting in.

Which leads to my favorite part of this AU:

How this situation combines with AOB instincts in the Bats specifically.

How clever the Bats are.

I want to play with that. Wanna address how smart they are, their instincts going absolutely feral-survival-mode wild in this kind of life-or-death situation, with threats actually actively hunting them, zero chance of reasoning with them.

Wanna address the genetic memory of packs before cities were made being drawn out. Wanna look at how packs actually hunt when those instincts are stirred and it’s life-or-death, how the Bats work together. When an Alpha, Omega or Beta is pushed to the brink, pushed to feral, their pack, their territory all threated, all in actual danger by something that can and will hunt them back. I want to see their senses cranked up and used to track death angels down, hunt and kill them.

How terrifying it probably is to go into rut or heat in this kind of situation. Being hazy and vulnerable, instinct driven, unable to focus well, in a situation like this one. How, once the situation has settled correctly into their psyche and bones, it might change. The mess that is a presentation heat or rut in this kind of hell, because Damian is within the age of when it happens (between 13-16 is average in my head, this AU places Damian at 15 in my head, so he’s due for it). What it does to the pack of the person in heat or rut for them to be so vulnerable while something like this is happening.

The protective pup-instincts triggered by an unpresented Damian. What the urge to shield the pack, keep it alive and safe, and protect pups might look like when combined with the hero-vigilante instincts in them, and finding pups who survived the invasion, but are abandoned or the last of their packs, with no one and nothing left. What the drive to protect and expand their packs, keep them alive and thriving might look like.

The territorial instincts playing out, in a hunted/hunting situation with- as Winter put it- “The backdrop of Gotham and how many traps they'd set since this is their territory and they know every rusty fire escape, crumbling Bailbondsmen, and gargoyle in this entire city.”

She understood where I was going with it lol. I adore how well they’d know Gotham, and exploring how that knowledge would play out in setting up traps and triggerable distractions for the death angels, to help in hunting and killing them. How it’d be fed by those territorial instincts of their city being invaded, their people killed, and their pack in so much danger.

On top of all of that, I also like exploring how the pack leader (Omega Bruce) vs pack alpha (Jason) would react in a situation like this, and the give-and-take of compromise and keeping their pack safe in such a situation.

I imagine, when all this starts happening, the Bats are collectively scattered all over Gotham. When it happens, they try fighting first, but the creatures are fast and deadly. They figure out sound being what they use to track quickly, that they need to be quiet, and they’re trying to save who they can but… in a city, always moving, always going, full of crime and all the screams with only so few Bats and everywhere ELSE having the same issues at the same time?

They get forced to retreat and fallback. None of them are sure where the others are, who’s in active danger, they can’t talk to each other over comms, can’t make any sound too loud.

They just have to be dead quiet and make their way to the cave on foot, make jumps that they know they can land silently on buildings, watch for the death angels when they move, being so so very careful. Unable to check in and see if their packmates are alive or not. Bonds blocked on the job, to not distract their pack, and having to KEEP them that way, while headed for the cave, to not distract each other coming home.

Oracle being in the Clocktower- frantically shutting down the clock so it doesn’t ring over the city and bring the creatures to her, shutting down any alarms or alerts that could be too loud from her equipment. Sending the news all over Gotham any way she can, as silent as she can, on how the creatures work, and how the survivors can use that knowledge to STAY alive.

Being scared as she watches trackers, and prays, terrified any time they’re still too long that they may be hurt or dying. Praying she doesn’t see the trackers start moving a vehicle speeds, cause it means they’re going to get chased down by creatures OR a creature has grabbed them and soon the alerts for vitals will scream at her.

Dick shows up at her tower to get her out with Damian on his heels, so they can get her to the cave, because a city destroyed by invasion is not really wheelchair accessible, much less getting all the way over to the cave silently while trying to get through the rubble.

Now for my favorite boy:

Tim. Tim in this AU has lost his pack bonds while on Brucequest. He hasn’t accepted a place back in the pack, hurt and distrustful of if the others mean it, after having been pushed out of the pack in his eyes, rejected and unwanted.

They’ve been trying to fix that, mending bridges and working hard to prove he not only has a place but is WANTED. Building bridges back out with him. By the time the invasion happens, he’s actually starting to believe them- he’s coming to the manor, interacting, trusting they’ll back him, save him, welcome him. He’s coming around- but he still hasn’t accepted a pack bond yet. Not again.

Didn’t feel quite ready for it, so he doesn’t have a bond with any of the other Bats. He doesn’t know if they’re alive or dead, can’t sense the bond and know for sure, and they can’t check on HIM like that either.

The panic of both sides of that equation is REAL. All of them have seen these creatures hunt and kill and destroy. And they don’t know if-

This event, this potential of loss on both sides is what makes Tim realize he is NOT willing to keep going without that bond in place. That he wants to feel them in his head again. He could have died or lost any of them, and never had the chance to be bonded to them as pack again, and-

He can’t do that again. He wants the bonds nestled in his chest, wound around his ribs and heart, thriving and anchored in his head. I may write the scene I have in my head out for Tim coming back to the cave last and just having a breakdown cause everyone is THERE, they’re alive.

This AU is going to be tagged “Quiet Night AU” on my blog, so keep an eye out for more.

And if you made it this far into this monster post, PLEASE feel free to send asks in about this verse, I wanna think about/talk about it and share. My brain is turning over all kinds of snapshots of moments in this verse, and I’d love to hear what yall wanna see from it, what questions or scenes you have in mind. Just address in the Asks that it’s for the Quiet Night AU. Edit: I ended up writing the blurble with Tim making it back to the cave found HERE

#Quiet Night AU #Crossover Fun #DC #Batman #A Quiet Place #Alpha Beta Omega #Omegaverse AU #Wolf Talks Fic Ideas #wolfsrainrules

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astrolavas · 2 years ago

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Wait that hunter and willow struggle with vulnerabilty essay you mentioned... Hand it over 🫵

KXJSK thank you for enabling my brainrot, let's GO 🫡

okay so, for starters, we all know both hunter and willow tend to hide their vulnerability, push down their feelings and repress a lot, but it's actually super interesting how they do it in completely different ways and for such different reasons.

i've already written one essay about hunter's tendency to do that here, but that was a while ago, so let's refresh it up a little bit with season 3.

hunter lived his entire life in the emperor's coven, as a magicless witch at that, isolated from everyone and manipulated. he got used to ignoring and hiding how he felt, because showing vulnerability in the coven was seen as weakness, and showing his real emotions could have genuinely very very bad consequences for him. especially with him having no magic, he was already disrespected and seen as lesser by everyone (for example, the covenheads) but he yearned to be respected, to be treated well, equally; so he couldn't afford to show any vulnerability there. and when it came to showing negative feelings near belos... well. that especially had the potential to take a dark turn really fast; to provoke belos to do something. it was genuinely dangerous for him to express his emotions, it wasn't safe for him at all. he could NOT do it.

his golden guard persona also comes into play here and it's SO interesting how he uses it. masking (in a literal, psychological AND metaphorical sense); using it to feel braver, to act more confident. taking on a role of the emperor's trusted right-hand man instead of the lonely kid that he was. all this... well, surrounded by that hurtful mentality and hostile coven environment, he had to do it; to be more respected, to be able to do things that he had to do, to actually FUNCTION. it was a necessity for his survival.

but here's the thing, he likes to think of himself as a more of a practical/logical/rational thinker, and he IS in general, that is true, but he actually DOES act based on his emotions and moral compass quite often. he's also really good at reading and analyzing people, and immediately getting them. he's oblivious to some things but overall he's emotionally smart, and very very insightful and perceptive....... it might be sth he's naturally skilled at, but he also definitely had to learn it; had to know how to read belos' mood and probably learnt all the little things he had to watch out for on some days, all the little signs to stop talking or look away. all that was, once again, for his own safety. BUT OKAYKXJSKK we're accidentally going off course here so let's go back slightly- hunter is also VERY expressive (which makes sense considering he wore a mask most of the time. ............. also hyper-expressive autism #real #so true—) so oftentimes his emotions are actually (no matter how hard he tries to hide or deny them) well visible on his face, before he manages to school them; although that also depends on the exact emotion he's feeling, some are more visible than others. so this is interesting, how he simultaneously automatically represses/hides some of his feelings and manifests them as something else but also feels everything so intensely and is such an open book based on his initial facial expressions. both of these facts coexist.

so, vulnerability. we already know hunter has trouble expressing his emotions at times. he loves to pretend he's okay when he clearly isn't; and it takes a LOT for him to open up to someone. he only really lets himself be truly emotionally vulnerable next to people he fully trusts and feels safe with, it doesn't come to him with ease.

that's why his scene with luz in the forest shack's basement is so important. that ENTIRE scene, actually. we can really see how much they've grown to trust each other, how safe they feel in each other's presence. what they had going on with their secret-keeping was not really fully healthy at the time, because they kept comforting each other from their VERY similar perspectives/stances, which just further locked in their mentality of "oh they'll hate both of us when they find out our secrets"; they were ensuring each other's fears by relating to each other; it was a circle. but nevertheless, they still cared about each other and have grown to care about each other even more throughout the few months.

here, hunter managed to admit that he was scared. he felt comfortable enough to admit his vulnerability like that to luz since they've grown closer and truly trusted each other with this. he's grown SO much.

and then... the crying scene. i am not exaggerating when i say this is SUCH an important moment for hunter's character, as well as a perfect insight into his dynamic with luz. especially since the thing that jumpstarted his cry was luz telling him he's family now, and that she wants to ensure he's safe too... all his emotions coming to the surface, him finally not managing to keep stuff in, allowing himself to be vulnerable like that next to someone, actually crying and letting it out instead of holding it in or distancing himself in order to go through it alone... it was a big step for him, and it perfectly illustrated just how much he's grown. and the way luz responded to it was also so thoughtful. she was extremely tired and depressed herself, but she still showed worry. she knew hunter needed space to let it all out and avoided crowding him, since jumping at him with worry and questions and hugs would only make it worse and freak him out, but she initiated a delicate half-hug after a moment, non-verbally expressing her care.

but moving on!

now, let's focus on hunter post-flapjack's death.

it's a big, traumatic event that affects and shakes him a LOT. he doesn't feel good, he doesn't feel happy, and that predictably results in the same thing as always..... hunter repressing his negative feelings and masking them as anger. prioritizing helping others and focusing on a mission at hand. not being sure if he's okay or how he feels or how to express what he feels when someone asks.

this is the behaviour we've ALWAYS seen from him in such situations. in season 2a, when he's just generally unhappy even if he doesn't realize it, and appears as angry and irritable... and in labyrinth runners, when he lives alone while dealing with serious life events; distances himself from everything and everyone, and then tries to act as if nothing had happened, and isn't sure HOW to express/talk abt his feelings, prefers to focus on someone/something else instead. andddd at the end of thanks to them after flapjack's death! when he immediately asks if everyone else is okay and jumps in to comfort luz and focuses on taking belos down; on a task. JUST... AUGHH! he prefers to push through his feelings cuz it's a defense mechanism, the same one he's been using in the past; in the coven. it allowed him to survive, and such instinct is not something that's easy to abandon.

so, this entire pattern is so, so clear in how he acts in for the future too. he tries to mask his grief and sadness with anger and coldness. he keeps pushing people (and palismen) away, distancing himself from others, acting irritable, focusing solely on the mission at hand, just wanting to find belos immediately; thinking about literally anything but flapjack or what happened just a few hours prior, cuz it hurts too much to think about it. the sadness and other emotions that accompany him as a result of flapjack's death keep sneaking up on him in random moments, but he fights not to let them through fully. he cannot allow himself to break down right now.

but then, he's alone for a moment, and he allows himself to feel some vulnerability here. he's overwhelmed by what's happening and misses flapjack. and, as always, he doesn't know what to say. he feels everything so intensely inside but he has no idea how to express that on the outside, he doesn't know how to put everything that he thinks and feels into proper words; how to accurately communicate everything he wants to communicate to gus and willow. he struggles with that.

but just like willow had her arc of repression (to be talked about in a second) and finally realized she can rely on other people too and allowed herself to show feelings and vulnerability instead of letting it all consume her from the inside out, hunter similarly let himself show some of that vulnerability to his friends. in the span of that moment, driven by pure instinct and his love for his friends, he managed to put what he'd always wanted to say into words.

he also realized that flapjack is always going to be a part of him in a way (both literally and metaphorically), even when he's not actually there, and it brought him some comfort at last... it didn't heal him or got rid of his grief ofc, there's a long journey ahead of him, but it helped him with the first step of dealing with grief and accepting what had happened.

now, when we compare how he is with feelings right now to how he was at the beginning of the series, he's truly grown so much. he's always gonna somewhat struggle with expressing his emotions and vulnerability, but now that he's surrounded by people who care about him, whom he trusts with his life, who he doesn't fear being vulnerable around, it's going to be so much easier for him. of course, there are always going to be instances where something bad happens and he represses again; his defense mechanism and trauma response aren't going to just instantly disappear like that. but he has people he can be his true self around now, people he can confide in; it's going to help him a lot. and he's going to continue growing, and developing as a person.

.....yeah! okay, now... willow time!!

willow's repression arc has always been always kinda sprinkled in and hinted at throughout the duration of the series. we know she was bullied for a significant amount of time and it affected her confidence a lot, but it also made her repress and push down her feelings.

i'd say her arc almost had... two parts to it. the first one was her coming out of her shell, gaining confidence and embracing her strength. the second one: her struggle with vulnerability and repressing feelings.

meeting luz and transferring to plant track was what definitely helped her with the confidence problem. she flourished (lol) after she was allowed to embrace her interests and strengths. but what remained, was that willow saw her insecurity and emotions as her weaknesses. she even said it herself, she most of all wants to protect everyone she loves (similar to hunter actually), and all-together that resulted in her shutting herself off and just focusing on others' feelings. wanting to be reliable for her friends, seeing herself as the "strong one" in the group; the rock. the mature one.

always pretending she's okay and fine with everything, putting a smile on her face through it all. because after all, she doesn't want others to worry about her, right? (she did it for all emotions too, basically)

especially if we take into account that she was bullied and seen as inferior to others for years + her entire past with amity + just in general her history with the abomination track and the expectations from her dads regarding it, all of it was trauma for willow and she ended up with the need to hide her feelings (something she saw as her weakness/flaws/weak spots) as a coping mechanism. she hated being seen as weak, and after she gained more confidence in herself, that feeling only grew.

in for the future, we could see just how much the suppression was affecting her. she still tried to be cheerful, dependable, not bothering anyone with her own worries, trying to make others feel better. but with each next moment, every feeling of hers builds up more and more, until finally it cannot be contained anymore. and explodes.

her magic is actually also a great metaphor/illustration of her feelings suppression. whenever willow's especially feeling things, we can always see how her magic reacts too it, how her emotions manifest through it. and this scene in ftf is a great visual representation of it; how the vines slowly cover her until she's completely buried under them. how helpless she feels. man...

but at last, she allows herself to let her feelings out. she's assured that she's not any worse for it, told that reliable people can rely on others as well. she lets all her worries and fears and thoughts and vulnerability finally show, instead of letting it all consume her from the inside out. it's such a turning moment for her. because from then on, she's shown to genuinely express more emotions and not depend entirely on herself, now that she's aware it doesn't make her any less strong. she's assured none of her friends are gonna think any less of her, or to see her as weak, and that's good.

actually, another thing i wanna bring up is willow being saved and bridal-carried by hunter in this scene.

could she have saved herself? yes, most likely, just like she did in any sport in a storm, when she was still suppressing any weaknesses of hers and relying on herself only. if hunter hadn't teleported to save her, she'd probably do just that. but this little moment is actually such a good illustration of how now that she's allowing herself to depend on others too (instead of just be dependable), she allows herself to be saved. when she needs it.

see, this is actually the thing i've seen lots of people confused about because "willow is independent, she wouldn't want to be saved" and... that actually confuses me, because it truly misses the very core of her character arc.

the point is that she CAN take care of herself and she wants others (especially people who see her as weak) to know that and to not underestimate her abilities (just like we've seen in labyrinth runners, for example). but, at the same time, she also wasn't allowing herself to take her guard off or to be saved by others for a long time exactly for that same reason; because she didn't want to be seen as weak anymore. she wanted to be seen as only strong and independent, to the point where she deemed any weakness of hers as bad.

like, that's the entire point of her character, her repressing negative feelings then finally allowing herself to open up and be more vulnerable (+ realizing it doesn't make her any less strong). she doesn't hate being saved necessarily, she hates being seen as inferior and weak and incompetent. for example, willow hated when amity constantly tried to save her in labyrinth runners instead of letting her take care of things herself or acknowledging her strengths because it made her think amity thought she was not capable of protecting herself. because it was amity saving her from the smallest things. it made her feel disrespected, as if she was called weak right to her face.

now... hunter never saw willow as weak, ever, and he knows perfectly well that she can take care of herself. he respects her and likes her in her entirety, both for her strength as well as her softer, more vulnerable side. BUT in moments when he thinks she does need protecting or saving, he doesn't hesitate to do so. and now that willow has let herself be more vulnerable and realized she can let herself rely on others more, she clearly appreciates and doesn't mind it whatsoever.

the mutual trust and respect is the actual key point in hunter and willow's relationship; they both know each of them are strong and skilled and able to protect themselves, but they also know each others' vulnerabilities and want to protect each other when a situation actually calls for it. both willow and hunter want the ppl they care abt (each other included) to be safe and they will protect them when they need it, but neither of them would like... completely discredit someone's abilities to stay safe on their own. so when it comes to willow's strength complex, hunter knows when willow can take it cuz he respects her and trusts her abilities, but when she actually needs it, he'll gladly save and protect her as his priority; but not in frivolous instances when she can take care of herself. and she will do the same for him.

so yeah!

tldr; it's actually super cool how both willow and hunter repress their feelings a lot and prioritize others over themselves but it manifests in such different ways and comes from slightly different circumstances/reasonings for each of them.

willow more-so feels like she has to be the more mature one in the group, and she pretends she's okay and fine and focuses on how others are feeling instead of herself cuz she wants to be dependable and hates showing weakness or being seen as weak. whereas, hunter isn't sure how to express himself and when he feels negative things, they manifest as anger/irratibility. he prefers to focus on some productive task instead and he prefers to distance himself from others, and it also all comes down to how he grew up in the coven and how he was raised by belos. like it's... SO interesting how they both do something so similar at its core but so differently.

#i don't have a phd in willow's character though so i can't write as much abt her as i can abt hunter kxjsk but yEA... it's all so neat to me #toh #the owl house #my toh talk #hunter #willow #nicole answers #Anonymous

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perpetualexistence · 10 months ago

Text

Slumbering Pride

Alenoah Week Day 7: Free Day! (Demon AU)

Alejandro is finally, finally close to beating José at something. He's in his junior year, and universities are already scouting him out thanks to his name, his academic prowess, and his athletic prowess.

They did the same for José when he was about to graduate. The difference is he had five schools attempt to recruit him.

Alejandro has six.

José can't let this stand. If Alejandro officially gets six offers, then he'll know José isn't perfect. He'll start trying harder to beat José in things. And worse, he might actually win if he's proven himself capable of it.

José needs to do something about it, so he comes to the most obvious solution.

He summons a demon.

(Rest under read more because it's long)

Demons are an open secret. They were confirmed to be real a while back, though are mostly bound by the deals they must make in order to maintain a foothold on the human realm. An unbound demon is a dangerous thing, and often happens if the person making the deal is tricked into breaking their side of it.

Demons are known to do everything possible to do this, or at least cause havoc in whatever capacity their bounds enable them to. It's forbidden and illegal for anyone to summon one without proper qualifications. (There's still some summonings that do happen after all, demons are quite useful so long as you're careful).

Still, humans are naturally curious creatures, and have found multiple ways of spreading this knowledge as best as they can. Demon summoning is uncommon, but it still happens. So much that children are taught what to do if they believe they're encountering a demon.

Most sane people know better than to risk entering any contract with a demon. But there are always those desperate enough, or stupid enough, to try.

Getting his hands on a book on demon summoning is child's play for someone with José's family connections. He doesn't care what kind of demon he summons, so long as he summons one that will do the job he wants. He can sweet talk them into giving him the best deal possible just as he sweet talks anyone else.

As he finishes the summoning, his limbs grow heavier. It is constant agony to keep himself standing. His thoughts grow fuzzy as he struggles to remember what he was so focused on. He isn't quite sure why he bothers.

It would be much easier to sit down and rest. What was he so worried about, again? It couldn't have been so important if he's forgotten. His eyes droop to a close as he lets out a sigh of relief he had been holding back for so, so long.

"Wow, you're seriously pathetic if you're this affected by my summoning."

José snapped out of his stupor to see a teenager staring back at him. He was a couple of inches shorter than José and could only be described as a breathing fashion disaster.

José could have stopped there, but he couldn't ignore the horns atop the demon's head, the wings pressed against his back, the tail lightly tapping the ground. His arms were folded as he tapped his clawed foot impatiently.

José was expecting something much more imposing than...this. He'd laugh if had less control of himself.

"I would like to make a deal with you-"

"Could have fooled me with your craiglist ad." Noah said, glancing at the circle underneath him. "It's so generic it screams 'I'm not going to put you in a van and drive you to an undisclosed location, I promise.'"

José could feel a headache coming on. "I am going to make a deal with you, demonio." He needed to regain control of this conversation, fast.

"Never said I wouldn't make one. What do you want?"

"I would like for you to stop my brother from getting too far ahead in life. At the very least, I want to make sure that he can never surpass me. In any way. Can you do that?"

"Depends on what I get in return."

The two end up negotiating until they settle on a deal: Noah makes sure that Alejandro can never surpass José, and in return Noah gets to take his ability to dream. José can do without a few dreamless nights.

That's how Alejandro finds himself waking up in the morning with a demon that was only as tall as halfway up his knee staring at him from the foot of his bed.

Alejandro instinctively kicks the smaller boy out of panic, sending a very unhappy demon crashing into a wall. When they've both recovered, Noah explains exactly what's going on.

He's here to pretty much haunt and sabotage Alejandro, José's the one who sent him because he's a dick, and this is just going to be their life now.

After Alejandro processes the fact that his brother truly hates him this much as to risk both of their lives to a demon, he asks why Noah would bother to tell him all of this. He doesn't say it out loud, but he knows that a demon could absolutely make his life a living hell. He's expecting insidious manipulations and life threatening accidents.

And this demon is making any sabotage more difficult by confessing that he's going to sabotage Alejandro? Something isn't adding up.

That's when Noah points out the big flaw in Jose's brilliant plan.

Because he hadn't been concerned about what kind of demon he summoned, he pretty much set up a job posting for a demon from any of the seven sins to snatch. Noah just happened to get there first.

So what does José get for not being specific?

A sloth demon.

Noah plans to do the bare minimum of what's required for his job. He doesn't care to bother with the effort of lying to Alejandro about his purpose here. The only reason he bothered to take this job in the first place is because the human realm has two things that the demon realm doesn't: Decent places to nap, and good books.

The only thing he hadn't counted on is how small he'd end up being once bonded with Alejandro. His size is dependent on the amount of sloth Alejandro has. The teen who gives it his all in every activity he does.

Noah's got his work cut out for him.

Alejandro tries seeing if he can use his own silver tongue to have Noah quit the job before he gets started, but with no luck. Noah doesn't feel like leaving. And he's not about to break the deal on his side because then he be forced back into the demon realm and unable to return unless directly summoned.

Alejandro would very much like to try just trapping the demon somewhere, then go to his brother to confront him about doing this. But he knows better than to act before fully knowing what Noah is capable of. And he wouldn't be surprised if his brother tried to gaslight him into thinking Noah wasn't real. He still doesn't quite believe it himself.

He does start to believe that having Noah around will be a continuous little nightmare. He's constantly offering snide remarks. He keeps trying to convince Alejandro to stop trying so hard and just be lazy.

Alejandro's not as aggravated as the attempt than he is at the fact that there's zero tact to it. Noah isn't even TRYING to be subtle. He could think of a thousand ways to do Noah's job better, except telling him that would then make Alejandro's life worse.

It gets to the point where he's so upset he just throws a pillow at Noah. The demon squawks as he gets hit, and Alejandro gets immense satisfaction from this. Alejandro knows this is a terrible idea, but he's angry at this whole situation and needs to take it out on somebody. Might as well do it on the one successfully set him off.

Alejandro gets his karma for snapping at Noah when he goes to sleep.

His dream starts off as he would expect it to. Until suddenly he finds something knocked against his back. He finds himself pinned to his stomach, and when he struggles to get out from under it, he finds the tip of a very familiar tail at a much larger scale pressing down on him.

"I thought 'Burromuertos conquer whatever they set their minds to'. We're in your mind. So get up."

Alejandro can feel Noah's smirk though he can't see it. He refuses to give Noah the satisfaction of admitting defeat and continues to fight against the tail.

Tears are not pricking his eyes as he's made to feel insignificant in the last safe place that was truly his.

As he can't feel tired in his dream, he continues to struggle. Noah admits that Alejandro's probably the most stubborn human he's ever met.

Alejandro snaps that he's a Burromuerto, and he does not quit. He cannot, and will not quit. Ever. No matter the competition, no matter the cost. Noah's just another obstacle in his way. But he will beat his brother in something for once in his life.

He does his best to hide the desperation in his need to believe that this is true. He's hidden it well in the past, but Noah is a perceptive sort and hears it anyways.

Noah asks what could type of win could possibly be so important that it was worth the risk of his brother summoning a demon on him.

"I'm about to beat him in the amount of colleges offering me admissions by one." Alejandro gloated, pride swelling in his chest.

The tail pressing down on him suddenly reached underneath him, and flipped him over like he was a roach. He looked up to see Noah's face free of apathy for the first time. Instead, it was replaced with one of...pity.

"You can't seriously be proud of that."

Alejandro grit his teeth. "I am."

"You have to know how that sounds, right?"

"Please do enlighten me about what you think that sounds like."

"It sounds pathetic! You're going above and beyond and you're seriously caught up in something as stupid as one-upping your brother?"

"Don't you dare try to act as if you know any better tú hijo de su puta madre," Alejandro snarled, the tears returning to his eyes. "I don't care what you are. You know nothing about me and my family. You can say and do whatever you like but I will not cow to any of your attempts to degrade me." His snarl turned into something of a deranged chuckle. "Do your worst. This is nothing new. I will still come out on top and grind you into dust."

Noah was silent for a long time. As he started to move his mouth to speak, Alejandro found himself snapping awake. He looked around to see Noah still in his room. He's looking at him with incredibly impassive indifference. Alejandro won't see anything else in his gaze. At least the demon was smart enough not to try running his mouth again.

Alejandro stormed off so he could grab a book to study while he ate breakfast.

Noah mostly stays out of Alejandro's way, but Alejandro can feel him watching. He doesn't care where Noah scampers off to during the day. He refuses to acknowledge the little monster.

He throws himself deep into studying. He's spending more time awake so he can study and avoid having to fall asleep. Beauty sleep be damned, he does not want to deal with Noah again.

When he does sleep, he dreams. He can always feel a looming presence behind him, and he says nothing of it.

He does his best to hide his exhaustion from the rest of his family. José notices and pounces on it. Alejandro continues to deny it, because he will not give his brother the satisfaction of having won yet another battle.

All the stress and exhaustion comes to a head after a few nights. Alejandro hopes for a dreamless night, and is instead greeted by a nightmare.

He's attending one of his parent's many galas, and his outfit is atrocious. He's sweating profusely. His hair is plastered to his face. Try as he might, it refuses to go back into place. He's a truly unforgiveable sight. He tries to sneak off so he can find something else to change into. Despite his appearance, no one is paying any attention to him. He finds out why as he goes through a guest.

He's running as fast as he can now. He's going through so many people, everything is blurring together. It all comes to a halt as he crashes into a wall he can't see. As he falls backwards, he sees that he's now in a terrarium.

Outside, his much larger brother and parents are talking to each other. Alejandro can't make out what they're saying, but he can see them laughing. He gets up and bangs on one of the walls. His brother flicks his gaze towards his little brother.

Finally, a break. He know Jose hates him, but he'd never truly hurt Alejandro. Alejandro knows this. He has to believe this. Jose could hurt him physically, mentally, and emotionally, but even he wouldn't leave Alejandro to die.

He'd just deliver a potential vehicle of death to Alejandro's doorstep, is all.

Their parents are gone, and it's just him and Jose now.

"Relájate, hermanito," Jose cooes as if he's talking to an infant, "Nadie espera que seas más de lo que eres. ¡Deberías estar agradecido de haber estado cerca de una fracción de mis logros! Sabes exactamente lo que te mereces por eso, ¿no?"

Jose lifts the lid of the terrarium up. He reaches a massive hand down towards Alejandro. Alejandro wants to climb up and away, but the walls are too smooth. They're closing in. All that there is is the hand, ready to grab him, crush him, throttle him, any variety of things.

He can do nothing to stop it. He was a fool for ever thinking he could. He closes his eyes shut in an instinctive fear he can't hold back anymore. He's hoping he can bring himself to fight. He's silently begging for his brother to be merciful enough to make it quick.

The hand that grabs him is much more gentle than he expects. He struggles to be free, but the grip is tight enough to stop much movement. There is no squeeze. It is weight without malice, and cool to the touch.

He feels something the size of a tree trunk gently brush his hair away from his face. He lets out a gasp of air he had been craving for far too long. He tries to open his eyes. He feels the tears sweat from earlier is sticking his eyelids shut. He shudders. His arms are pinned, so he can't move to fix wipe his eyes.

Suddenly, he's being moved higher and higher. He hears steady flapping from above. The pace is slow enough to where the wind is just a gentle breeze soothing his clammy skin.

He feels his captor descending, and he's unceremoniously dropped to the ground. He wipes his eyes and stands up. He's dressed to the nines. He sees other figures roaming about. He can see how they sneak a glance his way, then happily chitter amongst themselves.

"Mijo, no te quedes ahí parado," his mother says as she suddenly slips through the crowd. This is how he remembers this is a dream. His mother would never refer to him so colloquially, "Entra, tu juramento está por comenzar."

"Un momento, madre. Hay algo que debo hacer primero."

She clucks her tongue, another informal mark of unreality, and leaves him be.

Alejandro turned around, but all he could see were faceless guests.

"You can come out. I know you're here." Alejandro felt the ground behind him quake slightly, and turned to look up at Noah.

"Sure you want to waste your time with me? The dream isn't going to last forever."

"What did you do?"

"Took you out of your own nightmare. Brought you into one of José's dreams. And before you throw a fit, this is one he already let me have. He's nowhere here."

"Alright, that brings me to my next question. Why?"

"Is it really so hard to believe I did something out of the goodness of my miserable excuse of a heart?"

"Sí."

"You're ridiculous," Noah groaned, rolling his eyes. "Fine, I did it because it's easier to get you sleeping if you actually want to sleep. Happy with that answer? Or do you want me to pull out my five step plan for sabotaging you?"

"Well, a little presentation would go a long way~" Alejandro teased. He was finally comfortable enough to find his own voice again.

"And congratulations, you've made me regret doing anything. I'm going back to insulting you the second you wake up."

"You can try, and it still won't work."

"It will. Now go on, you've got the rest of this dream and that's it."

Alejandro left Noah to go explore the rest of the ceremony of achieving the same position of his father as a Spanish ambassador.

He wakes up to find a small Noah clinging onto his chest. The demon had somehow managed to wriggle his way under one of Alejandro's arms and was using it as a blanket. He's still fast asleep. Alejandro tests how asleep by moving his arm slightly. Noah clings tighter to the arm, but otherwise doesn't stir.

Alejandro could just stand up. That would definitely force the smaller boy awake. ...But, as loathe as he is to admit, Noah did help him. So, possibly for the first time in his life, he decides to sleep in rather than wake up for his daily morning routine.

Noah grows a few inches, matching the height of Alejandro's knee, during their nap.

The two are still antagonistic towards each other, but it's nowhere near as bad as when they first met. Alejandro lords over Noah in the waking world, and Noah returns the favor in the dreaming. There is one added wrinkle, though.

Thanks to Alejandro's moment of weakness, Noah has gained the ability force Alejandro into taking a nap. It can only happen when he's already feeling tired, whether physically or mentally thanks to studying, or if he's doing a mindless task.

It's some of the best sleep Alejandro has ever had.

It aggravates him to no end.

When Noah isn't trying to convince Alejandro to give up on his dreams, he's either sleeping, or is reading one of the many books in the Burromuerto library if that's where Alejandro has decided to study.

Alejandro notices Noah struggling when he tries to get books to read due to his size. He offers to grab a book for Noah to bribe him into leaving Alejandro alone for this study session. Noah immediately starts taking advantage of this by questioning Alejandro about what kinds of books he has. Noah might as well get a book based on its contents rather than its weight.

The two start getting into book recommendations. Alejandro sweetens the deal by gifting Noah one of the books he no longer reads to get peace for as long as it takes for Noah to read the book. Noah accepts immediately and will cling to the book with his entire body when Alejandro tries to help him lift the book.

No. This is Noah's book now. No one else is allowed to touch it.

He's so possessive because human things are hard to come by in the demon realm. Only greed demons are able to carry human things back to the demon realm, so they've of course got a monopoly of jacked up prices. The only exception is if a demon properly owns a human thing. Or in this case, is gifted one.

So yeah, Noah will agree to let Alejandro touch it to carry it, but he's watching that thing like a hawk.

A few weeks pass like this. Eventually, José butts his way into Alejandro's life as he usually does. He gloats that their parents are planning to host a party for José to start making connections now as he's properly starting on his journey to becoming an ambassador.

The second he's gone, Noah and Alejandro start bonding by shit talking José.

Alejandro justifies trying so hard so that he can finally one up José. It's why he won't give in to sloth. Nothing good ever comes of doing nothing. Besides, it's one of the weakest of the sins, so it will be easy enough to overcome.

Noah argues that sloth isn't as terrible as Alejandro makes it out to be. It means actually getting rest when everything is overwhelming rather than chugging on through to crash and burn later. Taking a step back and doing nothing can lead to new ideas popping up because there is no longer stress preventing them. Hell, some innovation comes from humans being lazy and wanting a better way to do things.

Like any of the other sins, it's only bad when done in excess. And it can be worse than just being lazy. Having too much sloth means having too much apathy. Horrible people get away with atrocities when enough people are too lazy to do anything about it. It means nothing changes because nobody wants to change.

Noah reveals that underestimating sloth is exactly how José has absolutely screwed himself. José has given up his ability to dream. He thinks the only definition of that are his literal dreams at night, and that's what Noah has been feeding on so far.

They also mean his dreams about being an ambassador. His dreams of more. Dreams are heavily linked with desire and ambition. By the time Noah's done with him, José will be nothing more than a walking husk. He'll do the bare minimum needed to survive, but nothing more. Knowing he should long for something else but being unable to.

The only reason he hasn't done so immediately is if he does take it fully, it means his deal would be over, and no more being in the human realm.

This does remind Alejandro that he is having a casual conversation with a demon. Despite their current pleasantries, it would be a terrible thing to watch Noah get more creative in his interpretations of his deal with José. It's safer to keep him entertained than to let his mind wander.

It doesn't hurt that entertaining Noah has led to riveting conversation.

Still, he comes up with an idea to control Noah, and get himself some much deserved revenge. He asks if he could actually make a deal with Noah to get back at José.

Unfortunately Noah can't. Not because he doesn't want to. He's got no issues with taking José down a peg. He's just unable to make a deal with more than one human at a time. There are conflict of interest rules in place. Even if there weren't, he's still a teenager. He's not powerful enough to make multiple deals at a time yet.

But he knows a demon who'd be willing to help out.

Her name's Eva. She's a wrath demon. She's pretty straightforward. Tell her exactly what you want, and she won't try to screw with you so long as you don't do the same to her.

Alejandro is concerned about what her price would be, but he isn't going to say that directly. Instead, he comes up with a different plan to solve this in a way better than his brother had.

He asks about what kinds of things that Eva likes. Noah did mention that human objects were more difficult to come by in the demon world, yes? Alejandro could give something concrete rather than abstract. Everyone wins.

Noah doesn't say anything, but Alejandro can tell that Noah is impressed that he remembered something Noah had said. He must not have much chance to show off his knowledge in the demon realm.

Noah tells him that she likes music. All she's been able to scavenge is a very old, shitty MP3. Phones are more easy to come by, but with no service they're practically worthless. Besides, Eva's chill when she's not fully committing her job.

His only condition is Alejandro's going to have to agree to forget how to summon Eva after they've done the ritual. Eva doesn't like just anybody summoning her, and Noah respects that enough to not share it with others without her permission.

Alejandro agrees.

When the final word is spoken, he waits. And waits. and waits. It feels like he's been waiting for at least an hour. He's going to tap a hole in the floor with anticipation at this rate.

It can't be taking this long. The longer he waits, the longer José gets to prance around consequence-free. He deserves no peace for what he's put Alejandro through. His lips curl in disgust at the thought of his brother getting rewarded for all of his misdeeds. He wants to call his brother over, right here, right now. Just so he can throttle José himself-

"What do you want?" asked the demon who now stood in front of him. Her arms were crossed, and she looked annoyed to even be looking at him. Alejandro had to shake his head to head to let go of the pent-up rage he had suddenly developed.

"Hey iron woman." Noah commented from his current perch on a nearby bookshelf. Eva turned her attention away from Alejandro to see the smaller demon.

"Noah." Eva commented as she acknowledged him with a nod. Noah's face was still set with apathy, and Eva's with annoyance.

Yet Noah was wrapping his tail around his leg to prevent it from wagging as furiously as Eva's was.

"So, what do you want?" Eva repeated. The edge to her tone was dulled this time.

"I would like to make a deal with you. My brother is going to be at the center of a gala recently. I know he doesn't think as highly of others as he will pretend, so I would just like your help in making him more...honest about his true feelings." Noah sighed at this answer.

"You want a truth spell?" Eva asked. She turned to pay attention to Noah before Alejandro could form a response. "Why would you summon me for this?"

"He wants you to make his brother throw the rage fit to end all rage fits in front of an international audience."

"Then why didn't he just say that?"

"Because he doesn't know how to follow instructions."

"Then why'd you bring me a stupid one?" Eva asked Noah.

Alejandro had to bite his lip to stop himself from interrupting. He was being both ignored and insulted. He couldn't let this be his impression on anybody.

However, Noah knew this demon, while he did not. She clearly valued Noah's opinion over his own, so countering his opinion now would only serve to shut her off further from responding to the Spaniard.

"He has his moments," Noah replied, "Plus, you're going to like what he has to offer."

"Well?" Eva asked, turning her attention back to Alejandro.

"As Noah so tactfully implied, I do plan to offer a fair price," Alejandro said, glad to have control of the conversation again. He pulled out a small device he'd performed quite a bit of research to get his hands on. "I've heard that you are in need of more music. I have managed to find a top of the line mp3 player-"

"How many songs?" Eva interrupted. She was looking directly at Alejandro now.

"If I had to guess? A little over 20,000."

Eva's tail immediately dropped. He could see her mind move from processing that number, to grappling it, to understanding it. Her eyes shone with anticipation that she didn't bother to hide. Her tail was practically causing a minor tornado. Her hands were half clenched and shaking as if she was five seconds away from snatching the prized jewel Alejandro held in his hands.

"Ice Nine Kills."

"Hm?"

"Ice Nine Kills. Silver Scream 2: Welcome to Horrorwood. We're moving up from there. Now gimme."

"Well, hold on. We still need to work out some of the finer details-"

"Fine, sure, we have the deal, whatever you want now give it to me."

Alejandro had to hide the smirk that was threatening to form on his face. He had no idea his offer would work this perfectly. All he had to do was seal-

"Eva!" Noah snapped. "You just offered a human 'whatever they want' in a deal."

"...Oh." Eva realized.

"Yeah, 'oh'." Noah glanced at Alejandro. "And don't think I didn't see that look in your eyes. I'm proctoring your deal."

"But-" both Eva and Alejandro tried to argue.

"It's happening."

With that, the two negotiated for a fair deal. Eva could stay in the human realm specifically to download as many songs as she wanted for her mp3 player, and to help Alejandro in his revenge. After that, she'd go back, and the mp3 player would be hers forever.

They both agree to it, and the deal is set. Noah and Eva spend some time catching up while Eva searches for music. Noah insists on catching up in private, which he obliges. After two failed attempts to eavesdrop.

The three of them plan exactly how to best humiliate José. Alejandro hadn't known quite what to expect with Eva, but he was pleasantly surprised. Her ideas were simple, direct, and brutal. They contrasted with Alejandro and Noah's more elaborate plans until they came to a consensus.

The party happens, and everything is set in place. Eva is invisible to everyone else, and is preparing elsewhere. Alejandro just needs to stay away from his brother so he doesn't realize something is amiss with Noah.

Alejandro knows that this is the perfect time to put himself out there. Especially since José's reputation is about to be shattered. He'll be remembered as the good Burromuerto this time around. Talking comes as second nature to him. All he has to do is talk, and just ignore Noah.

Noah, who's not having a good time at this party. Despite being invisible, his eyes are darting around everywhere as if they could see him. Thanks to being invisible, he's constantly having to avoid feet stepping on him. He's sticking as closely as he can to Alejandro, though he's not commenting on it at all.

Alejandro excuses himself to go to a more quiet part of the mansion forbidden to guests. Noah's visibly more relaxed as they get farther away from the crowd. But he does ask what Alejandro's doing.

Alejandro attempts to lie about being the one who needed space, but Noah shuts him down since he could see Alejandro lighting up when he talked to others. Alejandro will confess to noticing Noah and leaving since he knew Noah would follow. Their new partnership won't do well if one of them is in a near state of panic.

...Consider it returning the favor for the nightmare, if that helps.

Noah's quiet as he recognizes that this human is showing the closest thing to compassion that he can muster. He wants to say something, but the time of José's humiliation is nearing, and he wants to be there to see it. Alejandro makes his way back inside. He keeps Noah calm in the crowd by having him perch on his shoulder, and quietly making fun of the guests as they pass.

Eventually, José's breakdown begins. It works gloriously. He's swearing at other ambassadors. He's throwing things. At one point he's about to let loose of of the skeletons in the Burromuerto's family closet, but he's dragged away before he can. Alejandro has to hide his laughter, though Noah has no need to.

Unfortunately, it means that Noah has broken the deal on his end because he's intentionally let Alejandro beat Jose in something: not causing an international scandal. He gets pulled back to the demon realm and as punishment, can't answer any summons for at least a year unless it's for him specifically.

Alejandro's heartbroken to have Noah ripped away from him. He'd grown rather fond of having the demon around. He can't ask Eva for more help because she disappeared once José's scandal ended. He tries to find the book José used to summon Noah, but it was shredded. José was smart enough to guess that a demon had something to do with his irrational behavior.

Alejandro spends the next few weeks obsessing over finding the right summoning circle. His grades are slipping the tiniest amount, and he can't bring himself to care. He forces himself to sleep. He hopes that will somehow increase his chances of finding Noah. They feel empty without Noah to watch. He has no idea how to find one for Noah specifically, though he certainly does try. He settles for the next best thing: trying a generic summoning circle with the first gift Alejandro gave him as a conduit. Maybe he could at least find a demon who'd be willing to make a deal to help him get in touch with Noah.

This is incredibly dangerous and stupid, but the risk is worth it.

His stomach growls as he finishes the circle. He's been so focused on his work. He doesn't remember the last time he's eaten. He could leave to grab a quick bite-

No, no. He knows what this is. These thoughts aren't his. They can't be Noah's either. Noah's never cared much for-

stuffing his face until he can take no more. His body is a temple, and it deserves to be lavished. He's salivating, and must force himself not to run for the kitchen.

He's rewarded for his discipline with a large, blond demon who calls himself Owen.

He explains the situation to Owen, but no sooner does he utter Noah's name that Owen lights up.

"Ooooh, YOU'RE AL!!!"

Owen immediately starts going on about how Noah's his best friend. Which confuses Alejandro. He'd assumed Eva was Noah's best friend. She was stoic, blunt, and had common sense. She made sense.

This oaf with no volume control did not.

Owen keeps going on regardless of Alejandro's thought process. He completely outs Noah as being a mess thinking he'd never see Alejandro again. Noah was sleeping even harder than was normal for him, he was talking about Alejandro a lot you name it!

So of course Owen will be happy to get the two connected again!

Owen does want to give Alejandro Noah's summoning circle/number, but Alejandro did summon him so it does have to be some kind of deal. Uh...What's the nearest snack he's got? Owen'll take that.

He shares the information, then immediately leaves to go tell his little buddy that Alejandro plans to summon him.

Alejandro changes the circle to summon Noah with fervor.

When Alejandro summons Noah he feels as if every worry he's ever had has melted away. He wants to lay his head on Noah's lap and look up at him. He wants to reach up and tease his fingers through Noah's hair. He wants to trick Noah into leaning down so they can share a kiss and shift to nuzzling together. No more fighting to be on top. Just this once.

They're both blushing when Noah does get summoned because uh they both felt THAT. Neither of them meant that to be the way to confess but uh, whoops.

The two make a deal: "I'll help you get revenge on Jose until you're satisfied (knowing that with Alejandro, he never will be), and you'll let me stay in the human realm for as long as I want."

"Change that to for as long as I live."

"Still don't trust me?"

"I have to put some limits on you mi gatito travioso. Besides, now I know you have an investment in keeping me alive."

"You're terrible."

"Says the demon."

There are many ways to seal a deal with a demon.

They seal this one with a kiss.

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buttered-milky · 3 months ago

Text

How maglor gets treated in fandom is so interesting to me because like? I feel like it just…it exactly what the canon narrative wants from you? This is not articulated well let me try to do that better—

Maglor generally gets treated as the softest of the sons, and I don’t blame people for this. We see comparatively little of his Atrocities tm than we do of some others, and we also see comparatively More of his personality than some of the others. Like. Caranthir and Amburussar have maybe the same level of atrocity description in my mind, but also. Let’s be so real. They do very fucking little besides kinslay and get killed—which is something we already know about all the others. They aren’t given much extra spice to their personality. (I’m talking about in the published Silm here bc tho I know many of us have read other extra shit also a lot of us haven’t!)

We get a lot of time with Maglor and we actually get to see him be remorseful towards the end. He tries to save Elrond and Elros, fucked up as that situation is, and he tries to convince Maedhros to just surrender.

Also, he doesn’t die nearly as violently as the others.

Maglor is in this odd space of still being very much A Fëanorian and also having some interesting sense of morals and (at risk of this sounding weird, but idk how else to put it) an artist’s soul. What do see of him feels markedly less dangerous that what we see of the rest of his family.

And that’s interesting! The narrative has painted Maglor as a little less dangerous and a little more sensitive than the rest of his family, and it has painted him nicely, and we know from having read the fucking book that that is probably not fair. He has killed so many people.

He has killed so many, but he has good PR. I actually kind of love that the fandom is not immune to the PR because shit like this happens in real life. I love when we can all learn a little lesson from a fictional guy. People in real life have great PR and commit great atrocities all the time. Also people in real life make wonderful art and then are terrible people in the rest of life.

Sometimes I see people say we should treat Maglor different and maybe not as soft but I disagree. Getting this take on him is on purpose I think. The text is trying for that. Because this is a real thing—crafting yourself an image which is better than you actually are is a real thing.

Whatever if he’s some weird sensitive goth. Do you know how many weird sensitive goths turn out to be horrible fucking people? Maglor I love you just as much as the next guy but if I saw you in the goth scene irl we would be fighting. This is the guy people are talking about when they say “keep your scene clean.”

Maglor should probably be treated as harshly as his siblings but also I’m okay that he isn’t. I actually prefer it this way because it can be a good lesson in the difference between someone’s image and who they are.

Tldr; it’s actually a little funny that the fandom treats maglor the way they do and i hope it never stops. Play into his pr it’s fun. And a good life lesson

#congrats maglor feanorian you have earned one of the weirder descriptions of blorbo i will hand out;#peter steele energy. that is what you have. well. sort of. peter steele was markedly hornier #what the fuck ever #poorly articulated post #maglor is just as bad as the rest of em but better at hiding it #and actually it is Fun that the fandom seems to miss this and/or go along with his image #me too! he’s just a little fucked up goth! I would kneecap him!#hey I haven’t actually tagged him yet!#maglor #silmarillion #feanorians #<—- putting them in boxes 2 study #essay tag

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lilliaace · 8 months ago

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I have zero idea how old you are, so I'm going to try to make this as easy to understand as possible.

Keep in mind, I'm 30, been involved heavily in the BDSM community since 2012, and am a health educator, kink educator, and fetish educator. WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY (and having worked in healthcare for damn near 10 years), let's get into it.

There are SAFE ways to explore potentially rough or 'dangerous' quirks, kinks, fetishes, and/or BDSM related curiosities that DO NOT involve fantasizing and/or romantcizing serious harm to people.

Case in point, the porn community has RUINED and destroyed the fact that there's an actual difference between "CNC" (consensual non consent"), "free use", and "rough sex". Let's educate EVERYONE here so there's no "but what about"-isms.

Free use: Consensually telling your partner "you can have sex with me any time outside of barrier/parameters pre-established (like can only occur inside the home), but the scene can stop at any time if I drop a safe word (like "pineapple" for lack of better phrasing, thanks Tiktok).

Rough sex: Roughly engaging in sexual acts with partner, often involving teeth, scratches, some kind of impact play device (like a paddle or whip), possible electrical play (like a tens unit or violet wand), possible fire play (with proper safety involved to not leave serious burns), possible ice play (again, proper safety to not leave permanent damage), etc. THERE IS A STRONG EMPHASIS ON SAFETY AND CONSENT to keep everyone as safe as possible. Some communities refer to this as "edge play" as in "you're walking the knife's edge with safety". But some people interpret "edge play" as "orgasm denial and control", so read the context when you come across this type of play. Safe words can still be dropped to end a scene.

CNC (consensual non consent): Formally known as biastophilia, it is the fetish or kink (strong orgasm desire) to sexually harm a cause serious injury to a partner. It can be as 'light' as SEVERE verbal degradation (not going to put explicit examples here, think of a verbal abuser from a partner that involves dehumanizing) or as severe as rape/sexual assault (forcing your organ in them), broken bones, etc. When it come to the porn scene, a lot of CNC scenes are DIFFICULT to shoot (attempt rape, gang rape, rough shoving between sexual partners, severe sensory overload OR deprivation, attempt kidnapping, blow jobs to the point of vomiting, potential no lube anal sex, organs prolaping on the penis due to trauma, etc.). There is a reason why even PROFESSIONAL ACTORS in the adult industry (XXX) have serious trouble shooting a lot of these scenes and require SIGNIFICANT aftercare. MANY tap out, again due to the psychological natural consequences that happen during these scenes.

Once you are legally of age (again, I'm making this post for a safety perspective for ALL blog viewers here), you can SAFELY and LEGALLY navigate BDSM circles to learn HOW to manage all three above (Fet...e, local workshops, local munches, reading books about how to do these things safely, watching interviews online with real performers and sex workers of all kinds, safely navigate XXX spaces online, etc.).

If you are legally a minor (17 and younger for most areas, it's when a court no longer deems you a dependent on your parent/guardian figure, NOT age of consent), STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THESE SPACES UNTIL YOU ARE OF LEGAL AGE! It is fine to have curiosities, fantasies, kinks, fetishes, etc. develop during your pre-teen and teen years because your hormones are going crazy. IT IS NOT OKAY to force yourself into these adult spaces.

Child predators(creeps) exist, point blank. Adults who want to do horrible things to pre-teens and teens exist, point blank. We want to keep minors out of these spaces TO KEEP Y'ALL SAFE. Stop pretending that "you're the exception" to grooming or anything like this. YOU ARE NOT. Child predation is an EPIDEMIC online for a reason.

DO NOT FORCE YOURSELF into BDSM spaces, kink spaces, and/or fetish spaces online. IT IS FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY!

For the love of fuck, drop the radqueer bullshit that's just straight up albeist nonsense and a slap in the face to those who suffer from these real life horrific things that often lead to severe cptsd, ptsd, potential victims of child trafficking, victims of child creeps/predators, etc.

People have sadism thoughts. People have masochistic thoughts. It's about HOW YOU LEARN to SAFELY navigate these waters with a CONSENTING partner when BOTH of you are legal adults. This is why BDSM safety workshops and spaces online exist.

#lgbt #queer #lgbtq #radqueer #anti rad queer #anti radqueer #anti radshit #anti radpara

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fairykazu · 21 days ago

Note

hi, petunia from lyney pretty please!

lynette's right. i did flip. from lyney note: three people asked for the same prompt + switches between name & y/n, switching povs, mildly inspired by flipped. i kinda lost the plot at some point, bare with me. prompt: realizing feelings event masterlist 𝜗𝜚 general masterlist

y/n l/n. the person who’s literally the bane of his existence. someone who’s a dork and stuck onto him like glue since the fifth grade. all he wanted from them was space. at least, two people apart. at this point, he’d be okay with arms length. lyney remembered it was the summer of eighth grade, nearing the end of middle school and the start of freshman year. but there was this–

this person just barged into his life. more like if they shoved, wedged and snuck between the nooks and crannies, filling in the room with their annoying presence. thankfully, of course, his father, arlecchino saved him from name’s clutches every time. lyney would make a mini thank you to the hydro archon, focalors, when father would direct name to other places or lie about if lyney was just sleeping or had bow practice.

though, on the other hand, lynette managed to befriend you. out of all the people she had to befriend, she picked you who was undoubtedly the most dangerous person in the world. ever! and his uncle had experimented on people!

the betrayal lyney experienced within a mere second was hard to explain. well, from an outsider’s pov, he just looked like he was a fish out of water with an accusing pointed finger and a few gasps. it was so bad he started to have hiccups. when lynette saw him, he ducked his head behind the picket white fence as you laughed. “so vile… so evil…” he mumbled to himself, shaking and curled up like a ball.

unfortunately for lyney, he remembers this specifically because his family has this moment framed.

on the family picture wall.

that summer he was supposed to have fun, go outside and play with his friends. but instead, when he checked out the windows, there was you. you were camping out outside of your house, waiting to hunt him down. when you stopped attempting magic, he squinted his eyes, seeing a discarded magician hat– a real magician wouldn’t leave his tricks behind like that ! – you sat on the curb. face in your hands, sweaty and exhausted… from being evil.

he remembered that dreadful day when you came over his house and the only thing the manliest man could do at the age of ten was hide behind his step-mom, columbina. his cautious eyes linger on your every step. he likes to say his eyes are the most feline part of him. her wings fluttered as she chuckled at his reaction, “why won’t you play soccer with name and your sister, lyney?”

“because…” lyney trailed off, his blonde hair tied in a messy ponytail. he bit the inside of his cheek, a bad habit that would haunt him until the end of time. if he would be honest and frankly, he wished he could, because he didn’t want to be kicked around by not only his sister but also you! instead he said grumpy, “i don’t wanna play with them. i’m going to play with freminet.”

columbia stifled a laugh as she pointed at the backyard’s door. lyney’s eyes followed her direction as he watched his little brother slide the backyard’s door to play soccer with his newfound enemies. internally, he was screaming, crying and bawling his eyes out. WHY FREMINET? first, lynette, now you?? it’s like this whole family is full of traitors.

instead, as the older brother, he must be mature and understanding. the next words he utters have to reflect that. sure, his eyes do linger outside. and maybe, his fomo is acting up. his feet were itching to kick something, maybe a sphere bouncy rubber thing. but totally not a soccer ball.

his gaze looked at his siblings having fun. he knows that columbia can read him like a book but he’s not willing to break from his disgust of you. your eyes met his lilac ones, his face tinged with embarrassment for being caught red handed. his stepmom laughed a little but it’s not like he cares anyway.

“whatever.”

***

in middle school, he thought he had escaped from your grasp. it was wishful thinking that you’d go to the school closer to your house instead. too bad, he forgot that you’re in the same district as him.

maybe it was a little immature that he was willing to get away from your obsessive tendencies by using the girl you hated the most, mona megistus. for whatever reason why you hated mona in particular was beyond him but the information given by his gossip loving friend, venti, will definitely come into play. lyney went out of his way to hang out next to mona who seemed to enjoy this exchange. it continued until it spun out of his control.

mona was telling everyone including you that he and she had fallen in love. she claimed that lyney would ask her out at the end of the week. she was particularly rubbing into your face too. but thats not because lyney cared about you, it’s only because it’s not true! she was deflaming his name! insulting his name means she was also insulting lynette and freminet. but most of all, his father’s name!

maybe this is a big exaggeration. it’d likely not spread as far to his own father. but one thing for sure is that it’s definitely working. you weren’t coming too hot to him anymore. he spotted your eyes glaring daggers into mona and this is when lyney knew…

you will never come close after that.

right?

***

when you first moved into fontaine, your mother insisted it was the city of love. if it was, then where was your father in this situation? gone off and away as the hydro dragon weeps, rushing a storm in the city. maybe, the hydro dragon knows there’s no means of loving someone in this life. until you met him, lyney snezhevich– honestly, recounting this story sounds even cheesier than the previous retelling.

it was a dark rainy night and there was he. just kidding, that’s just daydreamer mode. it was a rainy day though. it was the first time you’ve been to fontaine and frankly, a little lost. your mother had disappeared from view, your clothes were soaked in cold water as you sat under a shop’s awning. pitiful really… like a sopping wet cat.

no one else would interact with you but he did. well, actually, you have no idea if he remembers it at all but he lent you a hand alongside lynette and their father.

lyney’s eyes smiled as he pulled you under their makeshift, blanket tent, showing you his magic tricks which failed numerous times but he played it off. it was cute. however, it ended far too quickly; they warmed you up in ten minutes and sent you back to your parent. but those ten minutes you wished had been a lifetime. it had more warmth literally and figuratively you’ve felt in a long good long time since father had left.

eighth grade had ended and so did your friendship with mona megistis. your best friend since the first grade betrayed you just for a glimpse of popularity. with her stupid long, silk hair tied into pigtails and her fake pitched giggle sounding like a distorted laughing track on some kids television, she smugly showed off her new entourage. you laughed at the fact that she used to boast that you two came in a package of get one, get the other free– a two-for-one deal. bitterly the following memory, right after when school ended, she went up to you, telling you she found new friends to appreciate her more than you did.

as if!

she kept feeding everyone lies like it was her second nature. if anyone cared to lend their ear to you, they’d know that you were the giving tree to her little greedy self. whatever, who cares that you don’t have any more friends left? right?

well, the upside is that you befriended lynette and her brother, freminet during the summer. but lyney? not so much though you try your best to get on his good side. like this one time, when you went over to the snezhevich family’s backyard, playing soccer with the two out of three snezhevich siblings. you caught his gaze on you, making you feel a bit self conscious. was your hair frizzy? did you have an eye booger in the corner of your eyes? oh god, did he notice your mismatched socks? you waved at him, smiling as he swiftly turned around, flustered ears as he walked off.

what was he embarrassed of? until this day, it still makes you wonder. maybe it’s that framed photo of him looking like a fish out of water. haha but that was cute though.

maybe it was fate that you were in the same school, same grade and same class as lyney in highschool. okay, you sound a little tad insane there but the chances of having the same second period aka the same homeroom as lyney? 1 in six chances! SIX.

you thanked whichever archon in charge of love. maybe she knew you and lyney were destined to be together forever and everr…

or not!

not when miss grabby hands mona megistus with her stupid hair and stupid smirk on her face has her greasy hands wrapped around lyney’s arm. just seeing her face next to a total dreamboat makes you so upset. it was to a point lynette thought you had become a hot kettle and joked if she can use you to brew some tea.

… that was pretty funny though.

but lynette doesn’t get it. she doesn’t know how twisted mona could be. it has only been two weeks since she was spotted hanging out with lyney and yet, she told everyone that they’re in love and bound to get married in high school.

#astronetwrk #genshin impact x you #genshin impact fanfics #genshin fluff #lyney x gender neutral reader #lyney x you #lyney x reader #genshin impact lyney #genshin lyney #lyney #arlecchino #genshin impact #gender neutral reader #genshin impact x reader #freminet #genshin #lynette #columbina

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notmorbid · 1 year ago

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happiness falls.

dialogue prompts from happiness falls by angie kim.

there's a fine line, if any, between optimism and willful idiocy.

why would you assume things can't go wrong just because they haven't yet?

hanging up an iphone isn't nearly as satisfying as slamming down a landline.

hope is dangerous.

intuition trumps intellect every time.

it isn't like i was keeping it a secret.

i'm working on seeming less bossy.

you are too old for this juvenile bullshit.

bring a first aid kit, just in case.

i never read the articles, only the cartoons.

i know what you're thinking. i'm thinking it, too.

i won't tell you not to worry, but take care of yourself.

sometimes it's the tiniest difference that can make the most difference.

are you a spy?

my life just isn't that interesting.

no shutting me out and trying to do everything yourself.

i have no idea what you're thinking, but i'm thinking i need coffee asap.

'greetings'? who in hell says 'greetings'?

i'll never scare you like that again.

don't force me to ask.

i wanted to just fucking die.

i feel badly about how we left things.

i thought we were open with each other.

shame is the most powerful and long-lasting emotion we have.

the best defense is a good offense.

stop talking. don't make it worse.

it's easy to be generous when you've taken so much.

i can't fall apart. someone has to get shit done.

i care more about authenticity and honesty than tact.

i didn't realize you still did that.

sometimes, in moments of great stress, we revert to childhood behaviors.

i love your sarcasm when it isn't pointed at me.

thinking and planning are luxuries we can't afford.

'no withholding anything from anyone'. that's my new mantra.

you have to save the highest penalty sin for last. build up slowly.

slow down. start from the beginning. what happened?

i don't care if i never find out what happened.

have you ever noticed how different things sound out loud instead of inside your head?

you can be honest without being cruel.

what are you hiding? i can see it behind you. what is it?

when you can't talk, people assume you can't understand.

i am a different person in english.

can you blame me?

sometimes semantics matter. words matter.

i'd rather give you the benefit of the doubt.

i would be horrible at your job.

you know a lot more than anyone's given you credit for.

a fucking break is what i want.

it did not feel 'rare', living through it.

everyone thought they were next.

there are some things you can't say out loud.

i'm glad we tried.

anger feels so much better than grief.

i don't like remembering it.

it's okay if the answer is no.

god, we're a mess.

this isn't a movie. this is real life.

if this was a 'choose your own adventure' book, what would you hope for?

when did you wake up?

there's no harm in hoping.

how long will i feel this way?

the first try is always the hardest, right?

the world should have to accommodate you, for once.

you can squeeze my hand when it hurts too much.

stop playing games and say what you mean.

you've been doubted long enough.

you doubted me, didn't you? just a little.

i don't want to forget. i want to remember.

i still have good days and bad.

#rp meme #rp memes #sentence starters #ask memes #inbox memes #ask meme #families

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onskepa · 1 year ago

Note

Hello, this is my first request so excuse me if it's misunderstanding

So, I had a dream about neteyam x human reader who is a woman. Reader it's paralyzed from the waist down, like Jake. But the only difference is that she doesn't and won't have an avatar. Usually, she doesn't leave her room so when Neteyam comes over, he has to carry her everywhere so she thinks she's a bother. He assures her that carring her it's not bother and it's rather adorable to see her tiny frame in his big arms.

Thank you<3

Helloooooooooooo darling~!! Quite the dream you have XD

Alrighty! Hopefully this comes out to yours and everyone's satisfactions~! enjoy~!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Susyang

The story of Jake Sully, the sixth Toruk Makto, the Olo'eyktan of the Omatikaya clan, has been share all over pandora. How he arrived in such a weak form but managed to rise and defeat the sky demons.

Susyang, a human girl was born in Pandora. She along with another human named spider. But there is a large difference between them. Spider is very strong, athletic, and can freely move where ever he desires. Susyang? She cant.

When her mother was pregnant, things were fine until during her birth. Things did not go well. During her birth, her mother passed away, and the birthing complications affected her lower half of the body. Was never told what went wrong but susyang's chance of walking was taken before she could even open her eyes.

Forever to never use her legs until her last breath. Strapped in a wheelchair to move around the lab, and forever to be inside. Pandora is already dangerous enough for a human to move around. Susyang hold no chance to last an hour.

But she makes the most of it, reading so many books about pandora, watch the scientists do their daily work. Would even chat and talk about interesting plants or animals they found.

One of her favorite things to talk about are the native people. The na'vi. How she wishes to meet one. Norm did his best with his avatar body, while happy, susyang still sees norm through his blue body. To meet a real one, to interact and play. Wouldn't that be a dream...

"Wait another human kid lives with you?" little kiri asks to spider. Everyone was eating some fruit they collected and enjoying a bright sunny day. Spider nods, "yeah, she is really nice and super smart!". Interested at peak, kiri asks more, "why hasn't she come out with you? is she smaller?". At that, spider's smile falls a bit into a sad expression.

"She cant" he replied. Lo'ak turned, his eyebrows forming down, not understanding. "What do you mean she cant? are there enough masks?" he asks, spider shook his head no. "It is not that, its just....she cant leave so easily like me. Her legs don't work". Lo'ak and kiri immediately know what he meant.

Their father has explained his time as human, how he was limited to his wheelchair because of his dead weighted legs. Sadness and pity took over their emotions, "well what if we come to her instead? We can play with her and so she wont feel lonely" kiri suggests. Spider liked the idea and already the three began to plan things out.

The following day, everything was normal in the lab. Susyang was reading a book when spider came into her room already setting the wheelchair in front of her bed. "Hey, come come!" spider was very energetic and seemed to be in a rush. Raising her eyebrow, susyang looked at spider, "why? is something going on?". Not really answering her, spider carefully lifts susyang from the bed and gently to the chair. Quickly securing her legs, spider wheeled her out of the room in high speeds.

The sudden action startled susyang, making her squeal a bit. "Spider! hey hey! stop it! where are you taking me!?" feeling a bit scared she is under spider's mercy. Spider didn't reply as he strolled her to the entrance of the lab.

Suddenly coming to halt, susyang who was closing her eyes opened after a moment. Spider went in front of her and extended his arms wide with a huge smile. "I want you to meet my friends! this is kiri, lo'ak and neteyam sully!", susyang opened her mouth wide in shock. Her head lifting up to see their massive height. True na'vi! in front of her!

How badly she wanted to say something, but all came out was tiny squeaks and cute noises. The na'vi kids giggled at her noises thus making her blush in embarrassment. "She is so cuuuuuuute~!" kiri coos as she gently squishes susyang cheeks.

Lo'ak played with her hair, getting the feel of her soft texture while neteyam bend down to her level and smiles softly at her. Susyang blushed a bit seeing him. But she had to keep her cool no matter what!

"spider told us a lot about you. We decided to come and play with you" neteyam says. He carefully observed her actions, the tiniest hint can say much about a human. "u-umm th-thank you!" she smiles sweetly, feeling lucky and thankful for spider.

Neteyam got closer, opening his arms, susyang looked at him, "n-neteyam...!"

"Neteyam please I beg of you to not drop me!" 15 year old susyang clung tightly on the back of 15 year old neteyam. The boy chuckled, making sure his friend was holding tightly as he climbs higher on the trees.

Today neteyam planned things out for susyang to enjoy. After meeting each other, they became inseparable. Connected at arms, both neteyam and susyang were just really close to each other.

Despite susyang insecurities, neteyam is always there to cheer her up. Making sure that she belongs in pandora just like spider. Which is why neteyam has a nice surprise for her. With the help of his father and brother, they build a gift susyang would love.

Arriving at the north river, neteyam cleared the way to reveal something to susyang. "No way, is that...?" susyang says, looking at what is in the water.

A boat. A simple boat fitting for na'vi size. But it was beautiful, was decorated with lovely carvings and full of beautiful flowers. "Oh neteyam...this is beautiful!!" susyang says with emotional joy in her voice. With a huge sigh of relief, neteyam relaxed. It was two weeks of hard work to create it, with every carving was dedicated to susyang, in hopes this would be a better travelling method for her.

Carefully and gently, neteyam lays susyang on the boat, where it is softly cushioned with fibers and leaves. Making sure she is secured well, he hops on, and with a paddle, he begins the journey.

Settling in a peaceful silence, susyang takes notice of the small details of the boat, touching it as if it was made of glass. There is clear evidence that it was done by love and care. It made susyang appreciate it all more.

Looking up at neteyam who is steering the boats direction, she smiles in adoration. Her dear friend had spent so much time to make sure she is comfortable and safe while being out in the forest. It made her feel a bit....guilty. Had her legs work, perhaps she would have been as free as spider.

Arriving at their destination, neteyam picks her up bridal style. "How much further is it?" susyang asks, "not far, almost there" neteyam answers. What else is there to show? Susyang knows every corner of the forest after so many years.

Few minutes later, they arrived in a small hut, above the trees but near the river. It was lovely, cushioned softly, and everything was close at arms. The shade was perfect, the view was perfect. All was perfect. "What is this...?" she asks silently, but neteyam heard her. Placing her in the middle of the hut, he gestures to the whole area, "this is is for you. Me and the others worked on this so you can enjoy the forest, way better than being stuck in your room".

Neteyam smiled brightly as he explained, feeling quiet accomplished and proud. Anything to make his dear friend smile. But then he heard sniffles and weeping. Looking down, he sees susyang crying. Quickly bending down to her side, he cradles her in his big arms.

"What's wrong? does it hurt? did I do something wrong?" he asked, worry heavy in his voice. Susyang only cried louder, letting her salty tears fall from her eyes. Now neteyam felt really panicked. Was it not to her liking? Was it too rough the cushions? Not enough space? Was the items too far away? Each second passed and neteyam's inner worries were rising.

"y-you....!! and th-the others.....!! did all this for m-me.....!! I am s-so sorry for making you do this....!!" was all susyang could say without it being a mess of tears. His ears perked up at that, why is she apologizing?

"susyang....no no, there is nothing to be sorry for. Why would you say sorry? You haven't done anything wrong" neteyam says gently. Stroking her back, trying to sooth her. But her tears keep falling without stopping.

"n-no...!! its because of these stupid legs!! I c-cant do anything! I always have to rely on someone and I hate it! I cant even have an avatar of my own! stupid legs! I am weak! pathetic! I am nothing but a burden to you and everyone else!"

This was the first time neteyam heard her confess like that. He understood that not having functioning limbs can be a burden but never to this extent.

Cradling her in his arms, he gently rocks side to side as means to hopefully calm her down. Placing a small kiss on her head, he waits it out for her to cry it all out. Perhaps it was the pent up frustration that needed to be released. Keeping your emotions all bottled up is never a good thing.

"sssshhh....you are not a burden susyang. Not to me, not to anyone. You are everything to me, nothing about you is a burden. I enjoy spending time with you and I enjoy doing these things for you. When I hold you, feeling your tiny body against mine, I feel like I can protect you. From any danger in this world. And I am happy with that. Your happiness means everything to me".

Those words struck susyang right in the feels. Making her stop crying at once. But instead of sadness, her tears were replaces with that of tears of joy.

"w-what? why are you crying again!?" neteyam asked with more worry again. Susyang laughed and put her whole body weight on him. "I am not s-sad silly.....!! I am just happyyyyyyy!!" she cries while smiling. Neteyam always seems to find a way to get to her heart.

As she let her happiness show, neteyam just gives her more kisses and laughs a bit. As long as susyang is happy and comfortable. That is all it matters to him.

Aaaaaaaand that is all for this one! idk if this is a bit too long but who cares! Hope you liked this one! until next time! see ya!

Susyang = fragile

#avatar #avatar the way of water #na'vi x reader #na'vi avatar #avatar 2 #na'vi x human #lo'ak #kiri #spider socorro #neteyam sully #avatar neteyam #neteyam fluff #neteyam x reader #neteyam #neteyam x human reader #neteyam x you #neteyam x y/n

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bonesbonesbones69 · 3 months ago

Text

A HARROW THE NINTH FANMIX

I know I’ve put out a number of fan mixes at this point but this is my favorite one.

Track list:

New York (St. Vincent)

Moderation (Florence + The Machine)

Heavy Cross (Gossip)

How To Be Eaten By A Woman (The Glitch Mob)

Ballad of the Thin Man (Bob Dylan)

Spent Gladiator 2 (The Mountain Goats)

Foreign Object (The Mountain Goats)

Drive It Like You Stole It (Glitch Mob)

Cosmic Love (Florence + The Machine)

Francesca (Hozier)

Wear Black (The Mountain Goats)

I'm about to get VERBOSE under the cut, join me if you want a deep dive on why I chose these songs. Or just listen to the playlist and draw your own conclusions :)

NEW YORK (St. Vincent)

You know how Gideon's death kind of haunts the entire 'Harrow the Ninth' narrative, because you can't stop thinking about it even though Harrow doesn't remember it and the book isn't mentioning it? But it's so present, the negative space in the story creating a very clear Gideon-shaped outline?

This song is first to set the tone for the playlist in the same way. It's a good song about grieving someone who fit with you in a way nobody else did or ever could.

It's about the bits that go:

you're the only motherfucker in the city who can handle me /can stand me /forgives me

It makes me a little crazy. Especially the forgiveness bit. Kind of brings forward the depth of what Harrow lost when Gideon died.

MODERATION (Florence and the Machine)

Like a fine wine, this song pairs excellently with thinking about harrow giving herself a lobotomy.

Want me to love you in moderation? Do I look moderate to you?

I've never heard of anyone loving someone LESS moderately than harrow when she carved up her own brain about a girl. Someone said in a tumblr post somewhere that 'most people just get breakup bangs'. YEAH THEY DO. but that's our mistake for thinking harrow was going to do anything other than the most insane possible thing.

This song is ominous and heavy, evokes religion and fear, the concept of love used as a threat.

It's perfect.

Actually let's talk real quick about the religion part. This isn't going to be hugely cohesive but it's important to me and I think you'll get what I'm going for:

The lines:

Bow your head in the house of God Little girl, who do you think you are

Can be read like the narrative voice is taking on the persona of God, loving in the powerful and unknowable way God might love. Loving in a way you have no say over. Interpreting Harrow's actions with this lens is like a fucked up mirror, consider: Gideon spent her childhood beaten down by a heavily religious society, the figurehead of which was Harrow herself, beating Gideon down sometimes literally but more importantly, figuratively. Now Harrow continues the role of religiously executing power over Gideon's experience, this time with absolutely ferocious love.

Also LAST THING I PROMISE but there's a quiet vein of self-hatred in this song, lurking just behind all of it. A real judgement of the self for having this power and impulse.

So it's perfect.

HEAVY CROSS (Gossip)

Actually you know what lets have MORE songs about harrow's lobotomy. It's a rich vein.

Most of the songs on this playlist make me a little crazy, and this is absolutely one of them. The manic, dangerous, committed tone (and religious undertones) continues from moderation to heavy cross - but what heavy cross brings to the table is the CHOICE.

We can play it safe, or play it cool Follow the leader or make up all the rules Whatever you want, the choice is yours So choose I checked you If it's already been done, undo it

THE CHOICE

And also, oh my god, "it's already been done, undo it". This song made the cut just for that line, and over time I just liked it more and more on here.

I'm skipping over saying a lot of the obvious stuff as I talk about these songs - assuming you're already connecting "whatever you want, the choice is yours, so choose" to harrow making the choice to stop the lyctoral process. And choosing to undo what's already been done. Right? Are we both there already? Cool just making sure.

HOW TO BE EATEN BY A WOMAN (The Glitch Mob)

I'm not done with songs about harrow's lobotomy yet. But this one's a little about Gideon

Ok also I feel the need to say - YES I did put a six minute electronic instrumental in a fanmix, but give it a chance!! It's evocative.

I went to the glitch mob specifically when I was putting this playlist together because I wanted music that felt confusing and dark and bad (the good kind of bad, in the way music can be). Something to mirror the way it felt to read harrow the ninth.

And then I saw there was a song titled 'how to be eaten by a woman' and I added it to the playlist without even listening to it first. And then I listened to it 50 times and now it's going to be on my Spotify top 100 I just know it.

Anyways this one stayed in the playlist as an homage to the confusing and inarticulate things that happened to Gideon and Harrow, as Gideon both was and was not quite eaten by a woman.

BALLAD OF A THIN MAN (Bob Dylan)

Ballad of a thin man is my all time favorite Bob Dylan song and it is exactly the same amount of stupidly ominously confusing as the events of harrow the ninth.

Now could I go on and on about this song?

Yes, and I will.

I’ve never found a source concretely sharing what the fuck this song is actually about. To me, it’s about being confused, outside, and alone. To Wikipedia and opinionated blogs it’s about the mainstream man encountering counter-culture, maybe queer culture. Sometimes theorists think it's about sex but there's not really enough evidence to say concretely.

In the context of this fanmix it’s about not knowing what the fuck is going on because you forgot you gave yourself a lobotomy.

Also frankly sometimes the way this whole series is written feels like one of the interactions described in this song:

You raise up your head and you ask, ‘is this where it is?’ And somebody points to you and says, ‘it’s his.’ And you say, ‘what’s mine?’ And somebody else says, ‘well, what is?’ And you say ‘oh my god, am I here all alone?’

I mean what the fuck is that about??

Like you're trying to have a conversation, but the person you're talking to is clearly having a completely different conversation and is not interested in explaining themselves one bit. Which is something that's happened many times in Harrow the Ninth.

And I mean - the REFRAIN -

You know something's happening here But you don't know what it is Do you, Mr. Jones.

I love that the song speaks directly at Mr. Jones, that he's a specifically named man rather than a general figure.

It makes the tone of the song so cruel and damning - you, Mr. Jones, are dumb as fuck and alone. You think you're smart, you're used to being smart and knowing what's happening, but you don't anymore. You're a lost idiot now. And nobody is going to help you.

Harrow is Mr. Jones that's what I'm saying. Do you get it. Do you agree. She's Mr. Jones.

SPENT GLADIATOR 2 (The Mountain Goats)

This is the title track because nothing else sums up the wretchedness of harrows existence on the mithraeum like this does:

Stay in the game. Just try to play through the pain Like a fighter who’s been told it’s finally time for him to quit Show up in shining colors and then stand there and get hit

I barely know what else to say about it.

The next song in this playlist is also a mountain goats song. As a best practice I think it’s a little gauche to put two songs by one artist back to back on a playlist, but these two absolutely HAVE to be back to back.

The reason is the joy I feel coming out of this song, and hearing the first couple notes of the next song, and thinking… yeah, it’s time to go fucking crazy.

FOREIGN OBJECT (The Mountain Goats)

This one is about the time harrow stabs someone in the eye with a foreign object

I personally will stab you in the eye with a foreign object

It's about harrow jamming her own teeth into the saint of duty's eyes, and also about the soup thing. This song is about being backed into a corner and fighting desperately with unexpected weapons.

Fun fact, the song itself was written explicitly about wrestling - which means that the term 'foreign object' should be translated in the wrestling context, meaning an object from outside of the ring. For example, a classic folding chair. So, considering this, we must admit that harrow doesn't actually literally use a foreign object. She uses her own teeth and bone marrow. Her objects are downright domestic.

But I think we can all agree she's got the spirit.

DRIVE IT LIKE YOU STOLE IT (The Glitch Mob)

OK OK I PUT A SECOND SIX MINUTE LONG ELECTRONIC INSTRUMENTAL ON THE FANMIX!!!! BUT -

really there's so much general bad feeling happening in harrow the ninth that having chaotic instrumentals feels like the only way to even START to capture it.

So here's a song about Gideon waking up in Harrow's body and trying to figure out that weird and upsetting event while also fighting some fucked up bees and learning some weird stuff about her parents and also dying like at least 4 times while all this was happening.

COSMIC LOVE (Florence and the Machine)

I like my playlists to be a bit chronological - it's an urge I can never quite thwart, I love to mirror a narrative. So all the songs about Gideon are at the end of the playlist, when she shows up. Man, we all missed her. I missed her. Didn't you miss her??

The stars, the moon they have all been blown out you left me in the dark

I don't have that much to say about this one, I find it incredibly self-evident. I'll make up for how fucking long-winded I was about 'Moderation' and 'Ballad of a Thin Man' by cutting this short.

FRANCESCA (Hozier)

Some of these songs are so exactly what I want on this playlist that I actually have LESS to say about them, because I think you can interpret the same things I'm interpreting just by listening to the song.

So listen to the song and then lets be insane about it together!!

This is about Gideon's sacrifice, and Harrow's rejection of that sacrifice. And Gideon's butthurt feelings about that.

My life was a storm, since I was born How could I fear any hurricane? If someone asked me at the end I'd tell them put me back in it (Darling) I would do it again.

I mean

"I gave you my sword. I gave you myself. I did it while knowing I'd do it all again, without hesitation, because all I ever wanted you to do was eat me."

Are you insane about it yet? I'm insane about it.

WEAR BLACK (The Mountain Goats)

The playlist is coming to an end.

Let's let ourselves be gently outro'd by the soft waves of John Darnielle sharing with us what it means to carry mourning with you throughout your life.

Wear black wherever I go Wear black wherever you are

#tlt #harrow the ninth #htn #the locked tomb #harrowhark nonagesimus #my art #should i have a fanmix tag by now #fanmix #sorry i forgot about this for a while its been a weird month and i lost some steam but its very good #Spotify

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