#reactionary exclusionist gays

[direquail]

You know the point of "protecting the children" dogwhistles, right? It's a reference to the idea that all queer people are child abusers. Super common belief among homophobes and transphobes, including (sometimes especially) gay ones.

It's also not just "a dogwhistle". When pressed to explain what exactly they want to protect children from, it's a ready-made emotional appeal to something that has broad social support. Most people, even if they don't like being around kids, are also not pro-child abuse. That's why conservatives go out of their way to invent (even if it's completely fictional) "reasons" why acceptance of gay and trans people amounts to child abuse. It helps them create an emotional connection with their target audience, and can be leveraged into logically ridiculous arguments like "well, if you don't agree with my platform, you must be pro child abuse, because I'm on the side of The Children".

"Protecting the children" is also super appealing to parents in particular, not because all parents are secretly authoritarians, but because it's super common to have a child and realize "Oh shit, I brought this person who can't defend themselves into the world and the world kind of sucks", and to feel horribly, horribly inadequate in the face of that.

I get very tired of people who mock, scorn, and ridicule people for falling for these rhetorical traps, or being snared by something that seems common-sense but disguises something ugly underneath. They are traps. That is what they're meant to be. That is why there are gay people who fall for anti-queer rhetoric, and get pulled into exclusionist or violently reactionary circles. We all have things we are vulnerable to, whether that is a history of being abused or a deep fear that we cannot protect our own children, who we brought into the world and are responsible for the protection of. And we gain nothing by mocking the latter.

I'm sure it makes some people feel great to say "well if you were really who you claim to be, you wouldn't fall for this shit", but frankly, that's a stupid-ass take. It misses entirely that these messages are carefully crafted by the people who hate us! They workshop these statements! They spend months or years trying to find the right message and when they find it they use the hell out of it, because it works. Because they are listening to the public conversations people are having online, and it doesn't take any level of basic agreement to be capable of regurgitating the party line word-for-word.

I am so sick of people who look at a deeply-embedded struggle over social and political ideals and think that this fight won't demand our whole brains and hearts and souls and yeah, we might fuck up because we care deeply and sometimes, people with bad intentions prey on that. On our grief and our fear and our rage.

And I'm frankly a lot more nervous around people who refuse to be aware of that, especially when they loudly mock the people who are willing to acknowledge their own fallibility and explore how they got ensnared in something. People are not moral machines, they are people.

[communistkenobi]

Hey, I made a couple tweaks to one of your comments about trans men and I'd just ... like you to read it back to yourself, and then think about how it comes off.

Anon: Yeah it's easy to say homophobia is primarily directed at gay people when you dismiss how it's directed at bisexuals, lol

You: all of you crybabies complain about being invisibilised because you see the constant hyper-visibility of gay people as a secret privilege unfairly denied to you (by gay people!), simultaneously claiming special victim status as a result of this “denial” while dismissing the actual violence wrought by said hyper-visibility. your primary theoretical contribution to discussions of homophobia (“biphobia”) is dogshit because you are incapable of opening your mouths without uttering the phrase “what about me.” It is an embarrassment sharing space with you

We've dealt with this kind of queer exclusionist stuff before on Tumblr. It has never, not even once, ended with people thinking "You know, the folk bashing and shitting on other queer people and denying their experience of bigotry as legitimate? I think they were in the right."

This analogy is completely off-topic - I am not denying that trans men are transgender/a “real” member of the queer community/face systemic discrimination (which is the substance of the denial of biphobia - you even use the term exclusionist as a shorthand for this discourse), I am dismissing the reactionary idea that there is a material ‘misandrist’ equivalent to transmisogyny in the world. The fact that you think this is even in the same universe to anything I’ve said is like, laughable

[dddissociation]

⚠️ This identity has been reclaimed from a bigot who actively fakeclaims other systems ⚠️

Complexpunk

For anyone who has a complex identity and thinks anyone who doesn't support them can fuck off.

This includes:

• Non-traumagenic systems/Non-disordered systems

• Otherkin

• Therians

• Mspec gays/lesbians

• Gaybians

• Lesboys/Turigirls

• Xenogender

• Label and gender hoarders

• Cuspers (on the cusp between cisgender and transgender)

• Gendered agender

• Transmascfem(neu)

This does NOT include:

• Exclusionists

• Gatekeeprs

• Seperatists

• Reactionaries

08/31/23 ~ 10:40 P.M.

[sophieinwonderland]

"Call me crazy, but I like being straight and just thinking "what if I thought I was attracted to girls" is distressing.

"Them proudly declaring the future is trans doesn't make it sound too scary, and I don't like that."

---

"Call me crazy, but I like being a guy in my own body and just thinking "what if I thought I was a girl" is distressing.

"Them proudly declaring the future is gay doesn't make it sound too scary, and I don't like that."

---

"Call me crazy, but I like sex and just thinking "what if I was asexual or sex repulsed" is distressing.

"Them proudly declaring the future is ace doesn't make it sound too scary, and I don't like that."

---

Gods we could go on and on about this, but 3 examples is probably enough to drive the point home. Just the sheer mask off-ness of it all. They are scared of being plural, so they need to make it everyone else's problem. "I don't want to live it a world in which other people are not distressed by the same things I'm distressed by" is such a conservative, reactionary take.

---

Anyways, sorry for venting in your ask box! Hoping you are having a great day Sophie!

-Foxy

This is so true! All these different points boil down to fear of people who are different, or fears of becoming like them. And I think, more than that, fear of the outgroup being accepted.

Conservatives and the alt-right are masters of this sort of thinking, but you see it with queer exclusionists and TERFs just as much. They all have this sort of mentality that other people being accepted is something bad and scary and needs to be fought against.

And I find it especially sad when it's coming from those groups because they should know better, having been victims of these same sorts of attacks themselves.

Totally agree on everything! And wishing you a great day too, Foxy! 😁💖💖💖

And remember, The Future is Plural!✊

[aro-barrel]

as someone who has struggled to see myself as queer when i was younger, it frustrates me to see the de-legitimizing of aspec people as queer. it's worth discussing because biases and exclusionist tendencies don't come from nowhere and we have to remain critical of those tendencies in ourselves and others.

one of the reasons certain identities are raised as "legitimate" in the first place has a lot to do with visibility. framing LGBTQ+ rights as the "right to love whoever you want" or the right to "be who you are" has done a number on how we view queerness within the community. we aren't immune to mainstream portrayals of us. a lot of aspec people have to grapple with legitimacy because we are poorly represented. the depth of our experiences are unknown, our issues underdiscussed.

to highlight my previous point: we know that a major political "gay issue" is the right to same-sex marriage. but people seem to put an emphasis on "right to love" and not the actual legal benefits of marriage (i.e., transferring assets, hospital visits, making decisions in case of death, etc). aspec people don't get those things unless they get married. i don't think many younger aspec people know that being aspec isn't just about our "lack of attraction." we are systemically deprived of the rights granted only to married couples. (that's the basis for poly and aro solidarity.) there's a reason our identities feel prominent, why they matter at all—it's because society isn't favorable towards us.

another reason we are seen as "less legitimate" is perceived oppression. this one is stated outright by unabashed exclusionists, but the sentiment is not exclusive to them.

people (even well-meaning people) seem to think there are levels of oppression and that oppressions stack to determine how unprivileged you are. which, uh, no. it's not a video game. the way we discuss privilege in general is really fucked up. truth is, we have to live with the fact that it's not a perfectly quantifiable thing (and shouldn't be). privilege exists in dimensions beyond identity labels. to quantify it and make it the basis for inclusion/exclusion is a mistake that leads to tokenization and opens a path for wider society to de-legitimize other queer identities (this is what i mean when i say exclusionists throw others under the bus—bus-throwing begets more bus-throwing).

it only makes instinctive, reactionary sense to claim a sub-identity is less "real," especially as a community concerned with our marginalized status. but it's all the more necessary to root out these tendencies in ourselves and ask why there's any need to exclude, or assume other experiences are lesser. is there really anything to gain from claiming that bi people, ace people, or straight trans people are less legit or not "queer enough," as if it's quantifiable? (trick question: you will gain nothing but meaningless label purity and mark fellow queer people as vulnerable targets for derision.)

[the-save-star-anomaly]

People to look out for in alphabetic order

Those are people who are either kind of bigoted or extremally bigoted. Go figure.

Queer-Related

Anti-MOGAI individuals

A-spec Exclusionist individuals, also known as: Amisic individuals Aphobic individuals

Education, Culture, Language, Intelligence, Preservation, Sexy, Exclusionist (ECLIPSE), also known as: Exclusionist Sexualities and Identities (ESAI) Exclusionist individuals Exclus individuals Exclu indivisduals Reactionary Exclusionist Gatekeeper (REG)

Exclusionist MOGAI individuals, also known as: Exclus MOGAI individuals

Ethical Non-Monogamy Exclusionist individuals

Gender Critical individuals, also known as: Anti-Gender individuals Transmisic individuals Transphobic individuals

Gender-Non-Conforming Exclusionist individuals

Gravity Knife Gay (GkG) individuals, also known as: Casiamoric Individuals Sunrise Gay individuals Todamoric individuals Torenamoric individuals Trans Exclusionary Homosexual Male (TEHM) individuals Warhammer Gay individuals

Exclusionist MOGAI individuals, also known as: Exclus MOGAI individuals

LGBT+ Confederate individuals

Longsword Lesbian (LSL) individuals, also known as: Sapphomoric individuals Vixenamoric individuals

M-spec Exclusionist individuals, also known as: Anti M-spec Band-Aid Bisexual (BanBi) individuals Battleaxe Bisexual (BAB) individuals Bloodshed Bisexual individuals

Non-Binary Skeptic individuals, also known as: Enbymisic individuals Enbyphobic individuals

Neopronouns Exclusionary individuals

Pronoun-Non-Conforming Exclusionary individuals

Queerphobes, also known as: LGBTQ+misic individuals LGBTQ+phobes Queermisic individuals

Split Attraction Model Exclusionist individuals

Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist (TERF) individuals, also known as: Feminism-Appropriating Reactionary Transphobic (FART) individuals Radical Feminist individuals Trans-Exclusionary Radicals (TER) individuals

Transmedicalist individuals, also known as: Nunchuck Non-Binary individuals Transmed individuals Trident Trans (TT) individuals Trumed individuals Truscum individuals

Xenogender Skeptic individuals, also known as: Anti-Xenogender individuals Xenicmisic individuals Xenicphobes Xenogenderphobes Xenogendermisic individuals

Other

Sex Worker-Exclusionary Radical Feminist (SWERF) individuals

[opinated-user]

Wow, Lily literally actually called all queer people "cishet people who want to use slurs"

AKA, anyone who doesn't feel included by the LGBT acronym (most notably ace and aro people) are actually cishet

That's... fully mask off, wow

i have yet to understand what does LO thinks "accomodating" is because she has never been kind to queer people. she has some friends who identify as queer and publicly at least haven't seen her telling them to change their identities for her sake, but otherwise on her tumblr she has told at least one anon to actually do that, she has said that queer activist of the past haven't "done enough" because they were lazy (even though they literally died for the cause), has insisted that all queer people are self hating morons who push back the movement (echoing very old rethoric that white cis gay would say to all the trans, POC and poor queer people who demanded recognition), that they need therapy and other nonsense she literally just took out of thin air. she has disrespected queer positive posts by still tagging them "q slur", she has lied about our history, she has shared a queerphobic conservative's opinion to support her own and all the while, she still refuses to understand that the acronymon is not the radically inclusive better understood alternative she pretends it is. what part of any of that is anything coming close to "accomodating"? to me that just sounds like a regular old reactionary queerphobe who is too much of a coward to follow through with their bad takes to confront their friends about it. "those are cishet people who want to use slurs" is word for word exclusionist rethoric. that is word for word what i have seen more than one SWERF/TERF say. those are the words of people who prefer to punch a non passing trans person for daring to still call themselves trans, for "making us look bad", than ever looking to attack the forces of oppression that doesn't impact them personally. the kind of people who literally roll their eyes at ace/aro people affirming their existance at all or how bisexual people feel unwelcome in the community. that's not a dogwhistle anymore, it's an airhorn calling all the conservative, reactionary, queerphobes people come down to insist how we should exile those "queer cishets" before they destroy the community. we have known for a while now but with this LO said loud and clear that she's not a safe person to be around if you don't happen to fit neatly and cleanly into a box pre-approved by her. considering that this is the same kind of rethoric that she's teaching to young people and allies who don't know any better, she's an active threat for those people. no community who claims to care about inclusivity at all should allow her entrance after saying that.

[demonic-shadowlucifer]

Exclusionist Symbols to look out for: Part One.

(Content Warning: Queermisia and potential eyestrain). (Additional Disclaimer: Do not use this to harass others. This is meant to be an awareness post. Also TERF Identifiers will get their own post because there's genuinely way too many for me to fit into one single post). General Exclusionist Identifiers Some of you might already recognize this particular flag.

(Image ID: A flag with 11 horizontal stripes. The first three stripes are shades of purple. The fourth stripe is yellow. The fifth stripe is yellow orange. The sixth stripe is a big orange stripe. The seventh stripe yellow-orange. The eighth stripe is yellow, and the last three stripes are also shades of purple. End ID). This is the primary exclusionist flag, and the most well known flag. However, this is not the only variant and there's actually some additional information about this flag.

You also have these two flags that aren't as well known but are still also widely used.

(Image IDs: Two flags with eleven horizontal stripes of different sizes. The first flag has shades of orange and yellow with a black stripe in the center. The second flag has shades of purple and pink with a white stripe in the center. End ID). The first one is known as the Solar Eclipse Exclusionist flag. The second one is the Lunar Eclipse Exclusionist flag. According to the coiner of those flags, the first flag is intended to be used by male/masc-aligned exclusionists, while the second one was for female/fem-aligned exclusionists, but as far as I know anyone regardless of alignment uses them. Now these next variants aren't widely known, but it's still best to keep an eye out for them:

(Image IDs: Three flags with eleven horizontal stripes of different sizes. The first flag has shades of purple, with yellow and orange stripes in the center, as well as two eclipses, one black and one purple. The second flag has shades of yellow and orange with a black stripe in the center. The third flag has shades of purple and pink with a white stripe in the center. All three flags also have a silhouette of a snake. End ID).

(Image IDs: Two flags with eleven horizontal stripes of different sizes. The first stripe has shades of pink and purple with a white stripe in the center, as well as a purple/pink eclipse. The second flag has shades of orange and yellow with a black stripe in the center, as well as a black eclipse. End ID). The Lunar/Solar Eclipse solidarity flag:

(Image ID: A flag with seven horizontal stripes of different sizes. The first half of the flag has shades of purple, pink and white. The second half of the flag has shades of orange, yellow and black. The flag has a silhouette of a snake in the center, one half black and the other half white. End ID). And there's a bunch of other variants of this flag, but I won't be showing them since I haven't seen them actually become used.

Now for the story behind the flags, these flags were mostly made for a specific exclusionist community known as "E.C.L.I.P.S.E", an acronym that stands for Education, Culture, Language, Intelligence, Preservation, Sexy (i have NO clue yall) and Exclusionist. I've only really seen this acronym be used around Twitter and sometimes Instagram, but it's still important to look for. There are other Exclusionist acronyms to look out for: REG - Stands for Reactionary Exclusionary Gatekeeper. Exclus - Short for "Exclusionist". Exclu - Same as above. Exclusionist MOGAI - a term used by exclusionists who are also members of the MOGAI community. This term also has their own flags, shown below. (Flags in order, General Exclusionist MOGAI, Pro-PNC Lesbian/Gay Exclusionist MOGAI, Pro-Aspec Exclusionist MOGAI and Pro-Mspec Exclusionist MOGAI).

(Image IDs: Four pride flags with seven horizontal stripes. All flags have four hearts in the corners, and a heart surrounded by a semi-circle in the center. The first flag consists of many shades of blue. The second flag consists of shades of pink on the top and orange on the bottom with a yellow stripe in the middle. The third flag consists of shades of purple, and the fourth flag consists of shades of pink on the top and shades of blue on the bottom. End ID). ESAI - Short for "Exclusionist Sexualities and Identities", this Exclusionist community is mostly Instagram based. While there's many ESAI flags, these are the ones I've seen commonly used. Flags in order: General ESAI Flag, Lesbian ESAI flag, Gay ESAI Flag.

(Image IDs: Three flags with seven horizontal stripes. The first flag has shades of purple on top and shades of pink on the bottom. The second flag has shades of orange on top and shades of red/pink on the bottom. The third flag has shades of purple on top and shades of blue on the bottom. All three flags have a white stripe in the middle. End ID). Exclusionists will also have many common keywords and identifiers, and here's some of the most common ones I found: "Queer is a Slur" (Also used in discourse overall). "Anti-Inclusionist". "The full acronym is LGBT" "LGBT is not inclusive" and other variants. "Anti-MOGAI" "Pronouns = Gender" - Commonly used by Longsword Lesbians, Gravity Knife Gays and Transmeds. In addition, some Exclusionists may identify themselves by using the 🔆emoji, as well as this symbol ❂, however not all of them do and not everyone who uses these is automatically exclusionist. Transmedicalist Identifiers Outside of the primary exclusionist flags, there are also varients of many exclusionist groups. I'll start off with many Transmedicalist flags since there's so fucking many of them. This one is the most recognizable.

(Image ID: A flag with three horizontal stripes of different sizes and a white cross in the middle. The first stripe is blue, the second stripe is a faded blue and the third stripe is pink. End ID). There are also other names Transmedicalists go by, including: Transmed - Short for "Transmedicalist". Truscum - Short for "True Transsexual Scum". Originally started off as a derogatory term, but has since been reclaimed by Transmeds.

Trumed - Another term for Transmeds. Tridant Trans - Another name for Transmedicalists, though not everyone who uses this label is a Transmed. Nunchuck Nonbinary - A term used by Nonbinary Transmedicalists. TT- Short for "Tridant Trans". This term might refer to other meanings though, so it's best to check before jumping to conclusions. Transmedicalists might also use these flags, with the third flag being used by those who use the "Tridant Trans" label.

(Image IDs: Three flags with horizontal stripes. The first two flags have three horizontal stripes, with the first using pink, black and blue with a white circle in the center, and the second using black stripes with a red stripe in the center as well as a yellow cross. The third flag has seven horizontal stripes, with colors similar to the Transgender flag. The flag has blue on the top and bottom, and four stripes have shades of pink, with a white stripe in the center. End ID). Here are also some key sentences/words that are used by Transmeds. Keep in mind that anyone who uses these isn't inheritly Transmedicalist, but that they are frequently used by those who are, so please be careful: "You need dysphoria to be Trans" - The most common one. "Being Trans is a Mental Illness" - I would also like to add that this saying is also used by Anti-Trans individuals, so this saying should automatically be a red flag regardless of if they're transmed or not. Any use of the word "Transtrender" in a derogatory manner. Any use of the word "Tucute" (short for "Too cute to be Cisgender") in a derogatory manner. "It's okay to be Cis!" - Frequently used towards non-dysphoric Trans folks. "Being trans isn't a feeling" or "Being trans isn't a fashion statement". "XenoIDs" - Created as an "alternative" to Xenogenders. There are people trying to reclaim them, so it's best to check before jumping to conclusions.

Mspec Exclusionist Identifiers Many Mspec Exclusionists will go by many different terms, but here are some of the ones I've found. Battleaxe Bi (Sometimes spelled as Battle Axe Bi) - The most common term used by Mspec Exclusionists. --Also, fun fact! This term is stolen, and the original coiner is actually pro-pan. The coiner has also stated that they are uncomfortable with exclusionists using the term. BaB - Short for "Battleaxe Bi". Bandaid Bisexual - Another term for Mspec Exclusionists, also shortened to BanBi. The most commonly used flag is this one.

(Image ID: A flag with three horizontal stripes of different sizes. The first stripe is dark indigo, the second stripe is a gray-ish pink, and the third stripe is dark teal. End ID). However, some Mspec Exclusionists may also use these flags.

(Image IDs: Two flags six horizontal stripes. The first one has shades of indigo on top and shades of deal on the bottom, with a dark red stripe in the middle. In the middle is also an axe containing the colors of the Bisexual flag. The second flag has shades of purple on top, a white stripe in the middle, and the last two stripes are purple and blue violet. End ID). Keywords and sentences that Mspec Exclusionists may frequently use: Anti-Pansexual/Anti-Pan - Self-explanatory. "Pannie" as an identifier for Pansexuals. "Pansexuality is transphobic/biphobic". "Pan = Bi". In addition, some Mspec Exclusionists will openly call themselves Panphobic as well. Exclusionist Lesbian Identifiers Many Exclusionist Lesbians will go by many different names, but these are some of the ones I've found. Longsword Lesbian - The most commonly used term. LSL - Short for Longsword Lesbian. Vixenamoric - Another term for Longsword Lesbian. This group primarily targets PNC Lesbians. Sapphomoric - Another term for Longsword Lesbian. This group primarily targets Mspec Lesbians. Gold Star Lesbian - A group of Exclusionist Lesbians that believe that Lesbians who date men, regardless of reason, shouldn't be considered Lesbians. Their primary target includes Mspec Lesbians, though they may also target Mspec individuals and Trans and Nonbinary Lesbians too. This term may also be used by TERFs, though not every Gold Star Lesbian is a TERF. Primary Flags:

(Image IDs: Two flags with horizontal stripes. The first flag, containing shades of pink/purple with a white stripe in the middle, is identical to the Lipstick Lesbian flag, though with more darker tones, and has seven stripes. The second flag has five stripes, with shades of purple and a sword in the middle. The sword contains the colors of the five-striped Sunset Lesbian flag, with orange on top, white in the middle and purple on the bottom. End ID). Vixenamoric and Sapphomoric Flags.

(Image IDs: Two flags with horizontal stripes. The first flag five stripes, consisting of different shades of red and pink, with a white stripe in the middle. The second flag has seven stripes, consisting of shades of pink and purple, with a white stripe in the middle. End ID). Common sentences used by Exclusionist Lesbians: "He/Him Lesbians are transphobic". "Lesbian means woman loving woman" - This is also considered TERF rhetoric. Some Longsword Lesbians might also identify themselves by using the ⚔. In addition, Gold Star Lesbians might identify themselves by using the 🌟or ⭐emojis. However, this is not a way to truly identify a Lesbian Exclusionist, and it's best to check before jumping to conclusions. Exclusionist Gay Identifiers A couple of Exclusionist Gays will go by many different terms, including: Gravity Knife Gay - The most common term for Exclusionary Gays. GkG - Short for "Gravity Knife Gay". -"GkG" is also used by hockey fans, particularly Los Angeles Kings fans, as a shortened way to say "Go Kings Go", so be extra careful with this one! Warhammer Gay - Another term for Gravity Knife Gays. Todamoric - Made as an equivalent to Vixenamoric. Casiamoric - Another term for Todamoric. Grenade Gay - Another term for Exclusionist Gays. GkG flag, Warhammer Flag and Todamoric Flag:

(Image IDs: Three flags with horizontal stripes of different sizes. The first two have seven, and the third has six. The first flag consists of different shades of blue and teal with a white stripe in the middle. The second flag has shades of blue and a teal stripe on top, and shades of purple on the bottom, with a lilac stripe in the middle. In addition, the flag also contains a hammer with the colors of the Gay Men flag. The third flag consists of shades of blue, with lighter shades on top and darker shades on the bottom, with a very light blue stripe in the middle. End ID)

Gravity Knife Gays will repeat similar rhetoric of Longsword Lesbians, such as saying that Gay is Men loving Men only. There are other Exclusionist flags around, however I can only add so many, so we'll stop here for now. Remember, if you see *anybody* using these flags or saying some of those key sentences or keywords, *block them immediately*. Because chances are, they're an exclusionist.

[estrogenism]

hi there, i saw your account on twitter at one point and disagreed with a lot of your views, views that you now seemed to have changed your mind on. why did you hold those views and why did you change your mind?

hi anon,

first of all, i'd like to apologize for the fact that you had to see me at my worst. that couldn't have been easy to see and i'm sorry about the harmful things that i said. as for why i held those views, it's the same fucked up reasons that a lot of exclusionists hold those views.

i saw a lot of labels describing intimate attraction as strict boxes that had very little wiggle room. i've faced a lot of lesbomisia, and instead of blaming the actual lesbomisic people, i decided to blame people who actually cared about being called lesbomisic. exclusionist views generally come down to them thinking that it's easier to blame other queer people online for queermisia than it is to blame the actually queermisic people in the real world.

i was also in a radfem pipeline and under the influence of radfem propaganda, and you know how they are about labels. i'd say the most inclusive views i had at the time was that nonbinary lesbians and gays coule date eachother, transmascs could be lesbians as long as they weren't man-aligned, and vice versa with transfem gays. i felt the need to arbitrarily gatekeep lesbianism from people that whose labels i couldn't properly understand due to my own binary view of lesbianism.

in summary, it was basically another case of blame shifting based off of my own personal incredulity.

as for why i changed my views, i partially have a friend to thank for that. shi had been changing her own views shortly before i left the exclusionist side of twitter. we had a conversation about this, and after acknowledging what shi had to say, combined with a shit ton of harassment from fans of a certain white leftist streamer, i left exclustwt. this wasn't when i changed my beliefs. it was simply when i got sick of the performative, selective activism on exclustwt. and shortly after, i realized that i was sick of exclusionism in general. i basically wrote a note detailing a lot of my beliefs on common queer discourse. and i was going over the mspec lesbian and lesboy section, and just thinking to myself, i sound exactly like a terf. no wonder a lot of people consider me to be queermisic.

i started to actually open my eyes to the many resources that inclusionists provided to prove why mspec lesbians and lesboys exist. and i'm just thinking to myself, why do we even need to prove the existence of a queer label? why do we need to justify our self-identification? isn't this just the neopronouns discourse all over again? the non-dysphoric trans discourse all over again? just the same pointless queer discourse rebranded as "well this time they're ACTUALLY harmful!!" as if that isn't the same thing said about every queer group that has been a victim of reactionary exclusionary gatekeeping?

i read. i read a lot. i'm a library type of gal and often go to the library in my local area, so i'm more than used to the prospect of reading. i've read some queer literature before, but at the time my brain was shutting off at the prospect of anything that i disagreed with. i sat my ass down and started rereading queer literature, stone butch blues being one of them. i actually absorbed everything that was being said this time, and i knew that i had been wrong about what the real danger in the queer community was.

the real danger is the people who want to divide us, the people who will blame other queer people for the existence of queermisia, the people who will send death threats to a queer person. the real danger is the terfs and right-wingers and the queer people who will let terfs and right-wingers control us and our history. the real danger is the people who are compliant with lesbian seperatist ideology while saying "fuck terfs."

the real danger is NOT some butch lesbian calling themselves lesboys, it's the people who want to stop them from doing so and kick them from spaces that they've always belonged in. the real danger is NOT some trans men calling themselves lesbians, it's the people who want to stop them from doing so and kick them from spaces that they've always belonged in.

and honestly, at the end of the day? i just learned that other peoples' identities aren't my business. i don't have a right to tell other people that they're describing their own experiences wrong. i don't have a right to tell them that they can't call themselves a lesbian, because while i am a lesbian myself, my lesbianism does not entitle me to gatekeep lesbianism. nobody is obligated to listen to someone who tells them that they're wrong to call themself a lesbian, and that letting lesbian exclusionists gatekeep lesbianism is "being a good ally and listening to lesbians." by that logic, we should let lesbian terfs gatekeep trans women from lesbianism because we'd be "listening to lesbians."

as much of a fairytale that must sound like, it's the best way that i can describe me realizing that i was a stupid, impressionable kid susceptible to terf propaganda. i hope that answered your question, anon. it is sort of hard to actually put this sort of stuff into words, but i do think it's incredibly important for me and other ex-exclusionists to think back, ask why we thought that, and recognize the holes in our former views. because every exclusionist argument that i can think of has holes in it.

[bolters-and-rivets]

as I've navigated this and other forms of exclusionist rhetoric, I've come to a bit of an epithany. There is a sizable minority of queer people who are in fact still conservative and have reactionary political beliefs, but because they themselves are gay, lesbian, or any other flavour of queer (all depends who the target it), it not only manifests in overtly atypical ways compared to what we've come to expect from right wing conservatives, but they believe themselves to be inherently progressive by virtue of their sexuality so they refuse to self reflect on their own principles and what motivates those principles. and what's worse is most everyone else fails to spot the pattern either so they go unchallanged.

Sure, it's perfectly fine for them to be gay or lesbian* (who have been largely accepted on a social if not political level for a few decades now so it's no longer the inherently progressive political stance they think it is), but they are still operating within an inherently conservative framework, like believing the gender roles imposed by the patriarchy are inherent immutible traits to men and women, or that a penis touching a vagania causes irreperable damage to a woman and "ruins" her (virginity, anyone?). They still, on some level, care about conformity, but instead of conforming to the government it's conforming to their select criterial for who is or isn't queer. So when they see what they perceive as more fringe identities that challenge those views, like Bisexuals, Pansexuals, Asexuals, Transgender, Non-Binary, Genderqueer, they lash out, tell them them they don't count, that they never found them attractive or desirable anyway, because they don't think they count as being part of their community, and they fall back on conservative logic to justify it and smear us as ruined, greedy, frigid, cringe, attention seeker.

*this is not to say all gay and lesbian people are like this, not in the slightest, they are just as likely to turn on other gays and lesbians who don't confirm to their own regressive stances and stand up for their fellow queers.

The funniest thing about biphobia is that when it's directed towards men it's just homophobia and when it's directed towards women it's just misogyny. But the woke kind so it's actually okay

[llycaons]

they didnt just try to make a word for "terfs but for ace" people, they actually made two. "aerf" which was shut down quick, and then REG (reactionary exclusionist gatekeeper iirc) which had a but more staying power because it wasnt as obvious

yeah, that sounds about right. I think I remember the second one. like?? they really had to try to co-opt words used to specifically describe transmisogyny TWICE? like, I don't want to villainize a entire community because that's obviously a dick move and I don't want to contribute to a space being hostile just on the basis of someone being aro or ace, and I know plenty of aro and ace people are perfectly respectful of lgbt people and I follow an aro blogger who has really valuable insights about the role of love in media. BUT it's irresponsible ignore the transmisogny, misogyny, and homophobia that are in those spaces. and addressing and countering that, or even just discussing it, is not 'discourse' imo, it's a really valuable and important discussion to have as long there are still people saying those things. a lot of the arguments on here are about stupid bullshit and I get why people don't want to see it again, but imo it's still worth talking about as long as we all share online (and real life!) spaces with each other

edit: I actually did have an aroace 'friend' in college who did exactly the same stuff as I'm criticizing here so it's also not just in online. im also reminded of the antecdote of a gay person who went to an lgbt meeting and an aroace person there dissuaded them from passing out condoms because the idea of sex made them uncomfortable. and this baffles me because this is exactly why we say aroace and lgbt communities have differing needs but idk some people really want to lump them in together in ways which benefit neither! sure there's overlap but as communities it just makes sense that two different sets of core needs are attended to

[fatfemmefreaquency]

just got told I’m not a sapphic because I’m nonbinary by a *trans man*

I’m literally a butch, woman aligned nonbinary person who loves women and enbies.

I can’t.

you can’t make this shit up. people are really trying to gatekeep communities they don’t even belong to out here for real y’all! 😂😂😂😂😂

anyways. permanent reminder that gatekeepers can rot in this hell of their own making.

[christopherokamoto]

Which came first: The community or the acronym?

REGs have been trying to cut off letters from the acronym for years now, as if that has any power, let alone a "Gotcha!" moment.

But if you take two steps back to examine these attacks, you just gotta ask, "Do REGs believe the community was built around the acronym?"

The acronym changes based off of how the community has grown, not vice-versa. Despite the easily disproven claims from REGs that it has always been "LGBT" since the dawn of time, there is a reason the acronym evolved from LG, and even GLBT, to the many variations today.

It's pathetic to try and weaponize the acronym (specifically "LGBT" & "LGBTPN") against other people in the community, and should be an obvious red flag of who is trying to do wrong by everyone.

[tenitchyfingers]

how the fuck are you going to seriously tell me you’re ace when you reblog shit like this. like, you can’t be ace and think asexuality is not real. Also, they’re an exclusionist, and I’m supposed to believe them when they say they’re ace? Nah bish ur just a piece of shit pretending to be ace so you think you can have a shot at speaking over us. Except you are not ace and you really need to shut the fuck up about asexuality. 

[queerestpositivity]

🌈 Gay culture is blocking REGs 🌈

You don't deserve that kind of negativity in your life.

[tzalmavet]

@mewtation replied to your post “It’s wild to see how little distance tumblr lingo...”:

gonna be honest, I've been here since 2012 and I don't know what REG is

​Fair, I guess you had to be reading certain kinds of discourse blogs to really see it in even semi-regular use 😅

“REG” is an acronym for “Reactionary Exclusionist Gatekeeper”... it’s a little hard to nail down its exact meaning (it’s kind of exactly what it sounds like), but I tend to recall and use it like it’s an umbrella term for those assholes who shift gears every two or so years in the LGBT+ community to aim vitriol and blame for their oppression at a different specific identity.

The most common and persistent kind of REGs are truscum/transmedicalists, and some of the first targets for REGs were nonbinary people, bisexuals, and gays who weren’t “gold star”.  The truscum-tucute fights and rise of “MOGAI” and its opponents around the mid-20teens were about when “REG” was coined, and when it was most used.  A few years later, aromantics and asexuals would be a huge target (and the aroace spectrum community has still not fully recovered from that time period) for REG type people. In current times, the targets of REGs are mostly trans men, transmascs, CAFAB nonbinary people (pretty much anyone who gets branded a “transandrophobia truther”...), and pansexuals, with a little leftover hate for ace/aro-spec people just to be mean; but every REG-targeted group always retains a little hostility from some REGs.  It’s just harder to hear about now since the partial death of Discourse/Callout Blogging and since tumblr’s search functionality for controversial topics has gotten even worse.

I think “REG” should come back into use b/c it refers to a very specific kind of LGBT+ community traitor/boat-rocker while still being broad enough to be an umbrella term that covers many different manifestations of that brand of extremely frustrating intracommunity squabble... ex. nonbinary-hating transmeds and psyop-spreading lesbian TERFs are the iconic REGs, but a vehement anti-asexual anti-pansexual blogger who supports nonbinary genders is also a REG.