#reaching out to new people is hard

[vessmar]

drawing hasn't been Working for me lately, i might be in some sort of block or burnout or whatever, like i have the urges and the motivation but nothing's turning out right, nothing feels all that good atm / so i'm hopefully going to be writing more instead, might reach out to people again or send some asks if i can get my head in the game

[dykedvonte]

why do you hate Joshua Graham or Honest Hearts so much?

This DLC and character represents a bigger issue with fandom spaces I have but particularly fallout fandom in general.

Fallout tends to tackle a lot of topics controversial and not. The first two games it’s heavy cause they are the most satirical and direct with how anti-war, nationalism and etc… they are. 3 loses this as it’s very clear once you play or learn about all the games that Todd and a bunch of guys at Bethesda just liked the 50s post apocalyptic aesthetic and refuse to actually critique the ideals of the time period like the earlier titles.

New Vegas is the game that really gets back into it a degree it almost seems like it’s taking too much on. There are things done exceedingly well while other things are done horribly wrong . I’ve made posts about it before and plan to make a big series of posts (it’s a lot of writing) but my biggest gripe is with Honest Hearts and all the gross and white savior esque depictions it has of indigenous peoples. The entirety if FNV does not do the injustices faced by indigenous people correctly on any count. My two biggest complaints are with the Khans and the tribes in Zion but I’ll talk about the former on a different post.

Both characters of Daniel and Joshua are the most accurate depiction of white saviors I’ve seen and I hate how the DLC tries to justify and defend them. The DLC treats Joshua like this man who has repented for his past actions when he is just retracing his steps after his cruelty bit him in the ass. He was one of the worst parts of the Legion and it is all but explicitly stated that if you don’t force him to be non-violent he will turn the tribes of Zion into the legion 2.0. The Dead Horses and the Sorrows are horribly infantilized by both Daniel and Joshua who both use them for self serving purposes guised by religious duty. The White Legs are the horrible stereotype of violent and savage indigenous and I personally think a lot of their interlinking with Ulysses, his hair and Ulysses character in general are distasteful and very telling of how BIPOC or POC where involved.

But outside of the game it’s the weird obsession people have with these characters ideologies and trying to make them seem more interesting/philosophical than they are. Tumblr is an echo chamber and many fans of Fallout are not the people on this site. Many people are not educated in the issues these characters convey and how poorly they do or used these characters as a poor introduction for their takes. Contrary to what a lot of people believe in, fallout has a prediomeny white cis male fanbase. More importantly a large portion of the fanbase is white.

You can joke how FNV made you trans or see the numbers on post/fics or diverse headcanons but these are kiddy numbers compared to the millions that consume the franchise and aren’t in those more aware spaces or don’t engage in the spaces the same way someone like me does/has to. Their views shape a lot more than people realize and it’s exhausting to be in a space where people don’t correct the more subtle yet toxic aspects of it but also adopt them into some weird quirky view point on the characters or issues. Some people don’t realize and some people don’t care.

My main issue is just the idolizing of these sort of thing in this fandom space and people try to acts like a game like fallout whose tagline is “War never changes” and has never had a game not revolve around political or militaristic factions issues isn’t that deep or doesn’t relate to real issues. I think it’s mainly caused by how over powered you can become and how you can strong arm your way past these learning moments as majority of people who play this game do play it as a power fantasy where they can do so as they please (which of course, go ahead it’s fun) but never take in parallels or lessons in the story as if it was just another first person shooter.

Also like another personal gripe is Cazadores spawn like hell whenever I’m there and I have not found a mod that works to mod them out so I have to play Indigenous Racism the DLC while getting jumped by giant wasps WHILE helping Mormons. Like I cannot catch a break.

[angelicjackles]

there are so many people that i wanna talk to and become mutuals with, but, see, the problem is. i'm a pussy bitch when it comes to being perceived so i never reach out to new people .

[panncakes]

listen i would've supported 23.5 no matter how terrible it might've been and i will continue to support it no matter which route it takes; but i am incredibly happy that it starts sweet and gentle and goofy as all queer high school romances deserve to be 🥰

[snugsunresplendence]

anyone else feeling kinda alone this pride?

[venstm]

one of the things that is hard with navigating being AuDHD and neurodivergent in general is how intensely you get gripped by something and how genuine the sorrow can feel when you move onto something else. and when you don't have the tools or the knowledge and the trauma kicks your ass because you feel like you can only talk to someone about the thing your mutually writing you can't reach out.

[found--family]

am i the only one who sensed some jilted lover vibes from jensen? 

[gremzon]

I might have OCD actually

[autisticlee]

watching a video "how to actually rest if you have adhd" and so far everything is what I do daily all the time. but I still feel extremely burnt out and none of this rest is working. so wondering if I need rest *from* rest. been craving to do something different for the last few months but frustrated i can't do anything with my own power and have no one to help or rely on. can't do anything except but "rest" so......am I just severely bored? do I need a rest from rest? can you get burnt out from resting too much? or am I still not resting the correct way?

[crescentfool]

some screenshots from the september 20th p3 reload trailer!

[samposillies]

[greyangelpain]

"YESTERDAY WAS HISTORY, TOMORROW IS A MYSTERY, AND TODAY IS A GIFT. THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT THE PRESENT." -- Master Oogway.

New years can be a somber time for many of us, as we think about the past and worry about the future, so make sure to reach out to your friends and family. xxx

Happy new years everyone.

[knoproblem]

Maybe the fog’s here because I want it here.

Is that why I opened the windows?

Maybe I asked the fog to come…

-MAG170: Recollection

[simplepotatofarmer]

i'm sorry, i just really struggle with finding my place in this community. with all the hate and harassment, it's almost impossible, and the techno community is not exactly fond of me, at all. then i don't really belong to any other sub-tumblr. so i tend to feel really alone. people get messages 'warning' them about me. people i don't even know start harassment campaigns on twitter. i've lost a lot of people i thought were my friends.

i'm really tired and it feels like i'm very alone especially with everything that's happened in the last few months irl.

i really really want to be a part of the community but i don't exactly know how to and i keep trying but i feel like i'm doing it wrong. and that's not on anyone else because y'all have been nothing but kind to me, i just have a hard time for a lot of reasons.

but i do really appreciate everyone because you've been amazingly supportive and i encourage y'all to like. talk to me, ask questions if you want. i'll try even harder to do the same. <3

[saeshiraw]

tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry

[orcelito]

Actually is there any cure to feeling like I'm a failure of a person if I don't keep posting fic regularly. Like I know this is not a job or anything. It's just for fun. But with how most people comment only within a day or two of when something is posted, I end up with weeks and weeks of no comments, even when the hits on my works still go up, so it makes me feel rather forgotten.

Like idk. This is probably just feeling worse bc im apparently phenomenally neurotic today. But I wish people commented on older fics more.