#re-uploading cause i missed out the best part on the last one

[nocturnal-birb]

x

[darry-rules]

7:06

What is the most frightening thing you can think of? There is actually a unanimously correct response. By going into the darkest and most horrific part of the brain could one finally understand what one certain fear causes the body to go into hyperdrive and activate the “fight or flight” response. Any living being is ultimately condemned to choose fear or curiosity at this one, simple piece of knowledge: the unknown. This is why people are afraid of the dark, of monsters, of heights. The thrill is unknown to them. Their body isn’t prepared to explain what lies ahead.

The logs you are about to see have recently been re-released to the public for a few weeks in hopes of finding new leads. It has yet to be explained what exactly happened to Daniel Smith. The following videos should be viewed with caution. They contain graphic and violent material.

V-Log #1. January 13th, 2014. 6:45 PM

“Hello, my name is Daniel Smith. I’ve decided to start making a video journal of my life and upload it here to YouTube. I’ve started to wonder what would happen after I’m gone; would anyone miss me? The real me. My friends and I never really kept in touch after my freshman year of college. Zach is the only one I really keep in contact with nowadays. After the incident, I haven’t really told anyone what really happened to me; not even him.

Possibly by getting this story off my chest, after holding it in for three years, would help with the night terrors that keep happening. I have literally tried everything, so I’ll do my best to explain.”

“Daniel! It’s time for dinner!”

“Shit! Gotta cut this one short.”

Daniel leaves the screen, forgetting to turn off the webcam, leaving it in total darkness. Seconds later, his face immediately pops back on screen.

“Fuck. How do you even cut off the recording? Is it this one? No- oh, here we-”

There is a screen tear and the screen goes black. The voice heard calling Daniel is his mother.

V-Log #2. January 15th, 2014. 8:37 PM

“Alright, so I intended to finish my last V-log yesterday, but things came up. Anyways, let me try and explain how this all started.

I graduated high school in May of 2010 with a full ride to East Carolina University pursuing Computer Science. Over half of my classes were online because I just felt it easier to learn that way. I ended up acing them all and then decided to learn how to code. See, all of my friends were into playing games as much as I was. So we all decided that we wanted to make it a career. All four of us dreamed about making a huge advancement in the gaming field, and boy did we.

I was the brains of the operation. I had taken every coding class possible and even taught myself basic graphic design and video editing in my spare time. My main focus was on virtual reality. It has been pursued many times in the past, but no real breakthroughs had occurred. The Oculus Rift was still in development so we had to make our own version. Zach was the tech genius. He could take anything and make something useful out of it. Him and Joey made this ungodly mechanism that went over your eyes, but it got the job done.

So, now it was my turn to figure out what game we would create. Horror games were my personal favourite. I loved getting scared and being in control, unlike horror movies. Regardless, I had to find out what scared people, so we all decided to do a survey on campus. We found the majority were afraid of heights, the darkness, or ghosts. Clowns, roller coasters, and other things were part of the lesser majority, but one thing stood out to me. Only about two people came up with the answer that spawned the idea of my game. The unknown. After some hard thinking, I realised that “the unknown” really frightened everyone. All the answers I got fell under that category. They don’t know what lurks in the darkness, what a ghost is capable of doing to them, or even how to react during a roller coaster. When you aren’t in control, you are scared. Knowing that something else can break through the barriers of your mind and take control of your feelings is the most disturbing thought you can have.”

Daniel stares blankly at the screen for about forty seconds without moving. The video appears to be paused until we notice his chest moving as he breathes. He eventually blinks his eyes and looks away before he speaks again.

“I’ll tell more later. I’m feeling kind of tired right now.”

The audio becomes distorted when Daniel says this. It seems to play over itself twice with the second voice being a few octaves lower than his normal voice.

V-Log #3. January 18th, 2014. 9:48 PM

“Well, I’ve been sick the past few days so I haven’t really felt like doing this, but I have to finish my story.

As I said before, ‘the unknown’ was the main motive for the development of my game. I decided to make the prototype as a maze for the player to walk through. I had a creature chase after the player throughout the maze to add to the fear factor. Sounds would distort throughout to give the player a sense of excitement. The farther you got in the maze, the more the sounds would disturb you. I took the idea from the popular game, Slender, where you find pages in a dark forest. The more pages you find, the more noises would play adding to the creepy ambiance. Anything from a distant scream of a girl to the sound of your own heartbeat would be heard through the player’s headphones.

Well, after long hours of coding and researching, the prototype was ready. David was the first to test it.

Daniel looks down for a few seconds and then looks back up before speaking again.

You know, our minds are made to know everything we sense no matter what it takes. But, when the mind has used up all resources to explain certain pieces of information, all hell breaks loose. The body produces adrenaline causing you to run faster, farther, sweat, and breathe heavier. Our minds use all the energy that is supposed to explain the piece of information and injects it into all our muscles to get away, or face the abomination.

I wanted to find that abomination.

The video seems to slow down and the screen flickers back to different pieces of the clip. It shows Daniel saying the words, “fear,” “disturb,” “unknown,” and “scream” before the video finally cuts to black.

V-Log #4. January 19th, 2014 7:00 AM

This log shows an empty room. Daniel is nowhere to be seen in the footage for the first few minutes. At about 7:06 AM the door to the room opens and the outline of a figure is standing facing the webcam. The figure stands, unmoving, for two full hours before the door slams shut by an unknown force. The screen then goes black.

V-Log #5. January 19th, 2014 3:15 PM

“So I reviewed the footage from last night and I’m not really sure what happened. I think my computer overheated causing the recording software to fuck up.

Anyways, the tests went pretty normal for a while. All four of us tried it out and loved it. David couldn’t get enough of it. He was the first to suggest we get more people around campus to try it out and give us suggestions on how to improve it. We all agreed. After having dozens of kids try it out, I got to work on the suggestions. Everything from the sounds, to the monster, to the maze was all changed. The main concern was that people could memorise the layout of the maze after a few play-throughs. One boy suggested we play this game called Amnesia – The Dark Descent to help come up with a more fear-inducing gameplay. I found the game and loved the impact. It’s a first-person survival horror game where you have to navigate through a haunted castle avoiding monsters and solving puzzles. The hook of this game is when you are in darkness too long, your character starts to hallucinate.

Before using their idea, I decided to contact the developers before making my own knock-off. After explaining that I was in college, what my major was, and the project we had going, they approved. They actually wanted to send me a few of their discs and drives that had in-depth information on the game and how it was created. They just wanted most of the credit when and if it hit big.

I skipped my classes on a Friday to get an early weekend start on the game and got pretty far into it. I swapped the maze idea for an abandoned insane asylum. Also, I took out the single monster idea and had multiple deranged beings come after you or pop up in windows. I decided to take out some of the audio and make it almost completely silent. I would still put in the distant scream and the heart beat, but no other unknown background filler. Doors would creak, your footsteps, and when you were attacked, the beings screamed and clawed at you; These were the main audio pieces that were promoting the realistic feel to the game.

Again, Daniel pauses and looks down. He continues to look down as he speaks again.

Sometimes we forget the reason we feel fear. It’s just there for one simple reason: to save us from the unknown.

Daniel quickly looks back up to the screen.

I’ll get more into it tomorrow because I have to go into work.”

The screen goes black after Daniel closes his laptop.

V-Log #6. January 19th, 2014 7:00 PM

The camera shows a dark room again. Daniel is still nowhere to be seen. Although, it is unknown how the laptop was reopened. The door to the room is shut and there is no noise. At 7:06 PM, the door to the room slowly opens and the dark figure from before stands unmoving for three full minutes before entering the room. There is no movement of the figure suggesting that it is walking; it seems to glide across the floor and out of view of the camera.

It isn’t until 9:06 PM that the door shuts by an unknown force and the laptop closes, shutting off the webcam.

V-Log #7. January 20th, 2014 6:05 AM

Daniel’s eyes are bloodshot and tired-looking. He rubs them and yawns before speaking.

“Well, I couldn’t sleep for shit last night after work. I kept getting woken up by nightmares and I can’t even remember what they were about. Anyways, I guess I’ll just get today’s log out of the way.

By the time I finished up most of the new gameplay, we were all on Christmas break. I really needed the guys to help test out my new version, but everyone was busy or had plans. Well, what else would you do in this situation? I tried it myself.”

This is another point at which Daniel stares at the screen, except he wasn’t just staring blankly, he seemed to be looking at something on his screen.

“What the-”

A horrified look appears on Daniel’s face as he backs away from the screen and runs out of the room.

Twenty minutes pass before Daniel walks back into the room and sits down at the chair. His face is looking downward until he sits down. As he looks up at the screen, a screen tear happens for a split second. If you pause the video at the second Daniel looks up, his eyes are completely sunken in and black. When the video cuts back to normal, Daniel continues on with his story as if nothing happened.

“When I put the headgear and headphones on, it felt almost too real. I walked toward the asylum and looked up at it. It was raining and there were flashes of lightning every few seconds. I walked inside and found that everything was completely silent. I had the heart monitor strapped to my chest so my heartbeat was the only sound in my headphones.

As I walked through the asylum, I noticed a few unbelievable changes. The rooms and hallways were in unnaturally smooth detail. I continued through the asylum, found the flashlight, keys to rooms, and the hidden objects I had placed throughout the game as a point system. The weirdest part was, the monsters hadn’t appeared. I heard the screams, my footsteps, the general noises; nothing else. That was, until I got to the basement.

See, I made a series of tunnels and rooms in the basement that was sort of identical to the main floor. It was darker and I made the footsteps sound different, but there were other sounds as well. I would hear an extremely light scratching sound on the concrete walls if I would stand still. Sometimes, I would hear low whispering right in my ear and maniacal laughter far in the distance. This disturbed me. I made every fibre of this game and had no recollection of putting those in there.

When I found most of the objects I came to one final room. I also had no memory of making this either. It contained a tall wooden door with a giant lock on it, but no windows or even a handle. After constant searching, I found a black key that I had never seen before. I was still baffled at all of this, but I wanted to see this to the end. With no explanation of the key, I returned to the door and tried it. After a long wait in complete silence, I figured the game had crashed on me. Right before I removed the headgear, I heard a creaking sound. As I looked through the headgear once more, I found that the door was wide open.

In the game I made it so the flashlight would have a dwindling energy supply. One of the things you have to find are batteries scattered throughout the asylum. You can also find matches to help give you a short supply of light until you can hopefully find some spare batteries. Well, I was fucking out of batteries, and I had three matches left.

Daniel’s face turns horrified

But- but when I s-struck the match, it just blew out as soon as they looked up at me. Oh God, the eyes. They were everywhere…dozens of..eyes.

As soon as the video hits 7:06 AM, Daniel abruptly quiets and then starts sobbing and looks off screen to the right.

“I’m sorry, okay! I didn’t know I would let it out! He made-”

The video turns black and ends

V-Log #8. January 23rd, 2014 11:02PM

Daniel is seen standing in the middle of the room with his back turned to the screen. He is completely nude except for a bag covering his head. His arms are outstretched and he has three gashes on his back. A deep whispering sound is the only thing you hear from the video. Daniel stays silent standing in this position until 11:59 PM. The video ends at 12:00 AM the next morning.

Upon further investigation of this clip, the audio was increased intensely. The deep voice seems to repeat the phrase, “He comes”, throughout the video.

V-Log #9. February 6th, 2014 3:13 PM

Zach is the one in this log. He is silent for about thirty seconds.

“So, I heard that Daniel was making these video logs and I just wanted to come and finalise them for him by telling everyone what happened.

Daniel was found lying in his room here a couple weeks ago. He was naked, and cut up pretty bad. They took him to the hospital and found that the wounds were self inflicted and that he had tried to kill himself. I haven’t gone through these videos yet, but I know something has to be in here. I just wanted people to know that Daniel is in critical care.”

Zach pauses for a few seconds as he starts to tear up

“They say that, the wounds…they were so deep and the blood loss was so drastic, that he won’t survive. His body is rejecting all medication, and he isn’t supposed to make it through the night.”

Zach sobs for a few minutes before continuing

“Really, the hardest part about dealing with this, is that David passed away as well. About five months ago he dropped dead from a sudden brain aneurism. We tried to contact Daniel, but we couldn’t get in touch with him.

I’m gonna find out what happened to you Daniel. I swear it.”

He shuts off the camera

V-Log #10. February 7th, 2014 6:22 PM

Zach seems to be in a panic and rushing as he speaks

“Alright, so I watched all of his logs and something is fucked up. He never acted this way until he got into that game. I’ve tried to contact Joey but he won’t return my calls. The reason I’m here now is because Daniel was like a brother to me, and I’m not about to move on without knowing the truth. Something happened when he played that game and I have to find out. I don’t know what he saw or what he found, but I feel like it’s connected to his death. I need to find it and that headset.”

Zach gets up and rushes around the room. After eleven minutes, he finds the headset in the top of a closet and the game in a locked drawer. He seems to forget that the webcam is still on as we assume he starts up the game. He puts on the headset and headphones and immediately starts to scream. The webcam audio is muted, but Zach seems to be terrified and rips off the headset. As soon as he takes it off, the lights go out and the video cuts off.

V-Log #11. February 7th, 2014 7:05 PM

The room is barely visible through the darkness and Zach isn’t in sight. At 7:06 PM, the door to the room slowly opens revealing the silhouette of a young man in what seems to be a hospital gown. After about thirty seconds, the figure slowly walks over toward the bed as the room becomes flooded with light.

Daniel is now visible and he stands motionless facing the bed. As he leans over, bloodstains become visible on the back of his gown and grow larger as the minutes pass. On the bed, mangled to a point of almost no recognition, is Zach’s body. The blue and white shirt is the only indication of him. Daniel starts laughing maniacally. His body starts to contort unnaturally; his bones start breaking; he leans back and walks on his hands and feet toward the screen. His eyes are pitch black and his mouth in a devilish grin. He laughs for a few seconds before the deep voice erupts from his mouth and says only two words,

“He’s here.”

These videos have been investigated to the bone with no real explanation to what exactly happened. The only facts that have been recovered from the crime scene are:

Daniel apparently used coding and files from the information sent to him by the creators of Amnesia – The Dark Descent within the game he created.

Daniel’s mother has been put in a mental hospital after a sudden attempt of suicide regarding her son’s passing.

Zach’s body had multiple gashes similar to the ones seen on Daniel’s back

Daniel’s whereabouts are still unknown.

[sinners-go-to-drink-the-wine]

Dirty Laundry 

Pairing: Danny x Reader

Word Count: 3.8k

{Author Commentary: Your best friend Danny is home from tour... and he’s single. Old header got flagged, so I had to re-upload.}

CW: 18+, minors DNI. (SPOILERS) mutual pining, friends-lovers, mild teasing, being picked up/carried, biting, oral (f!receiving), fingering (f!receiving)

Danny coming home from tour was always exciting. You’d stayed in contact the best you could while your childhood best friend traveled the world with his band. But you’d known each other so long the stretches of not talking were no cause for alarm. And the end of the tour was always a bit more consuming as it all ramped up to the final show. Aside from sharing a few silly posts and keeping up with his social media, you hadn’t had any interaction the past few weeks. When he’d texted you his plans for the end of the tour he promised lots of time for the two of you just to hang out and catch up.

But something in you missed him extra hard this time. And when you saw him again you couldn't deny you hugged him extra hard. He'd returned the hug, seeming to match your energy as his strong arms wrapped around you, holding you in and lifting you as he straightened slightly. He'd of course made sure to set you down safely before releasing you from his arms and smiling down at you. You'd spent the rest of the day together, just chatting and accompanying him through post-tour tasks.

That's how you found yourself sitting perched on the washing machine in his family's laundry room. You were ranting to him about some of your family drama while he sorted through his dirty clothes for the next load. The washing machine sounded, cutting you off to signify the end of its cycle. “Time to dry!” Danny gently but swiftly held your waist, shifting you from the lid of the top-load washer you were sat on, onto the top of the front-load dryer.

You’d instinctively gripped his forearms, though it seemed to take barely any effort on his part. Once your hands trailed off his arms, he casually resumed his laundry, opening the washer and transferring its contents to the open dryer you were now sat on. You lifted your legs out of the way so he could close the dryer. When he straightened up he was standing between your parted knees. He braced a hand on your knee as he leaned over you to adjust the dials on the dryer and press the start button. His warmth and smell enveloped your space for a few moments. Danny’s go-to deodorant was a cool, softly masculine lavender, that mingled with the warm woodsy notes of his hair products for an intoxicating result. The old machine started to rattle beneath you as the heavy wet clothes inside tumbled around. The vibrations traveled through you, catching you off guard. Instinctively, your legs closed slightly, hugging the sides of Danny's hips. His hand remained on your leg just above your knee as he leaned back, raising an eyebrow at you curiously.  "You ok?" "Yeah-” your throat suddenly felt dry, “it just surprised me. …forgot how clunky this thing is…" You shared a laugh. His hand slipped off your knee as he turned back to his laundry basket.

He started filing the washer with the second load he'd separated. As you watched, your eyes lingered on his arms. They were certainly not the same as the last time you'd seen him in person. You'd noticed his change in concert attire to display his further developed biceps lately. He was currently sporting a Michigan Wolverines shirt, the same one he'd had since highschool. He’d always been eye-catching, but he’d definitely stepped into it more lately. And you absolutely loved it. His growing confidence was so heartwarming to witness from your previously lanky, quiet friend. But all these warm feelings for him came with a new undertone, a more complicated feeling.

"What do you want to do while we wait for the dryer?" He asked as he poured laundry detergent into the washer and started it. "Well, you have clothes that need folding… I could watch a movie while you do that", you jested. He smirked as he closed the washer and turned to you. "What do you want to watch?" "Hmm…" You drummed your finger against the edge of the dryer as you considered. "Something nostalgic…Princess Bride, maybe… no- wait! Stardust! It's gotta be Stardust, we haven't watched it in sooo long!" He laughed as he stepped in front of the dryer, waving a finger at you, jokingly "Only if you help fold." "Fine. Help me down." You could easily have hopped off the dryer, but he’d volunteered to show off his lifting abilities before, why not give him another opportunity? He stepped forward, taking your waist as your hands rested on his biceps once again. He slid you forward, lifting you slightly over the edge. When he gently set you down there was a few seconds you were stood between him and the dryer as he smiled down at you. His hands left your waist and he went to the laundry table, gathering up an already dried load.

You followed him to the other area of the basement where there were some old couches and a TV.  He set the laundry on the coffee table in front of the most central couch as you grabbed the remote, flipping through various streaming sites till you found one that had it. “Yes!” you cheered, settling into the couch. Danny laughed before tossing a shirt from the clean pile over you. You laughed with him as you pulled it off your head, examining it. It was a large warn-in plaid button-up in a faded grey-blue. “Can I borrow this, actually? Need something comfy, if we’re just gonna hang out here the rest of the night…”. “Sure” He looked back at the sweater he was folding, seemingly smiling to himself. You stood up, stepping behind the couch, out of his line of sight, to change. You pulled off your blouse and bra, buttoning the shirt up three-quarters of the way so the neck hung open comfortably. The hem hung just past your shorts, and the sleeves well past your hands. You worked on rolling them up as you made your way back around the couch. Once the sleeves were cuffed just below your elbows you looked up, meeting his eyes. He cleared his throat, giving you a smile before placing the folded shirt in his lap on a growing pile. You chuckled at his acting like he’d been caught. You took a shirt from the pile, joining him in the folding. He’d already done most of it, so the two of you made quick work of the last few items.

“So… does the new dedication to your curl pattern mean I don’t get to mess with your hair anymore?” You teased him as you stretched your legs out to rest your feet on the table. He placed the last sweater on the pile, “Hmmmm… I’d have to make an exception…”. Even as he    feigned hesitation, he shifted onto his back, resting his head on your lap and flipping his hair from under him so it draped over your other thigh. His eyes fluttered closed as you smiled down at him, parting his bangs delicately so they framed his face. Your fingers sunk into his hair, resulting in a contented hum.

The movie rambled on in the background as you aimlessly ran your fingers over his scalp. Danny’s eyes remained closed, and you were distracted taking note of the freckles that dappled his cheeks and nose after a long summer. ‘I want to kiss them… Woah.’ Your eyes darted up, though you weren’t really looking at the screen. ‘Where’d that come from?’ Your hand had stilled, and your leg shifted a bit anxiously. He started lifting his head, meeting your gaze when you looked back down. “Want me to get up?” Your response was a little too prompt, “No.” Your free hand rested on his chest, gently guiding him back down reassuringly. He looked up at you skeptically. “You’re not telling me something…” His hand came up to rest over yours. “Did something happen while I was away?” ‘Yes.’ “No.” He tilted his head, raising his eyebrows at you, waiting for you to go on. “I-” The buzzer sounded on the washer. You looked over your shoulder, then back to him. “I thought the washer might be done soon. I was right, see?” “The dryer’s gonna be another twenty minutes.”, he followed up, not giving you the out. When you offered no response he sat up slightly, supporting himself on his elbow on the far side of your legs so he was still stretched across your lap, his face now closer to yours. “What is it?”

Your eyes traced over his freckles and down the bridge of his nose, settling on his lips. “I-” “Huh…” his parted lips formed a small smile as he seemed to make a connection. You barely had time to glance at his eyes before he was leaning in, pressing his lips to yours. Your eyes closed as you kissed him back, grateful you didn’t need to say anything further. Your hand on his chest made its way to his shoulder, then his neck, before cupping his jaw. His free hand was gently holding your waist. His kisses were soft, lingering.

You opened your eyes when pulled away. He sat up, still smiling, “We can do this in a better position.” Your face flushed as you wordlessly followed his lead. He sat back on the couch, guiding you onto his lap. Once you were straddling him, resting on his thighs, you held his face gently, running your thumbs along his cheekbones. His warm hands rested on your thighs above your knees, smoothing up and down slightly. There was a slight hesitation in the movement. "Are you… nervous?" You met his eyes. He chuckled "I just kissed you… after knowing you most of my life… I just finally kissed you." He squeezed your thighs gently, emphasizing his inflection. You joined him in a slightly shaky giggle. You finally leaned in and kissed the apple of his cheek, then the other, then the side of his nose, before fully kissing him again.

You immediately deepened the kiss when he parted his lips, taking him in. His hands glided up your thighs, under the hem of his button-up and your flowy shorts. A small sound escaped your mouth as he squeezed your upper thigh. He used the small pause to shift his kiss to your neck. You bit your lip to repress another sound. He knew. He knew your sensitive spots, where no one else could touch. His lips and tongue working down your neck felt like heaven. When his teeth grazed the pulsing vein in your neck your hand drove into his hair, desperate to hold him there. You could feel him smile against your skin as one of his hands withdrew to brush your hair away from your neck. He pulled the collar of the button-up open more, kissing the top of your shoulder. “Love when you wear my clothes…” he nuzzled the area before exhaling a warm breath across your skin. When he spoke again his voice was, different. “It always drives me crazy.” His teeth bit down on your damp flushed skin between your neck and shoulder.

A long trilling buzz interrupted any possible thought you were trying to form as the sweet sting of his teeth subsided. “Oh…” you said quietly. His lips had pulled away softly. His forehead rested on your shoulder as he started quietly giggling. You’d begun laughing too, at the sudden shift in the atmosphere. Danny lifted his head, sighing with a smile. “We’re gonna have to move again, sorry.” He lifted you as you started getting up. Once you were both on your feet, however, he was picking you up, swiftly taking you back to the laundry room.

He sat you on the dryer, with a devilish smirk. He took the clothes out of the dryer, dropping them in a basket before moving the wet clothes to the dryer. Once he straightened up again his hands slid up your thighs as met you for another kiss. He reached around you to start the dryer, the familiar rumbling traveling through you. You gasped, this time against his mouth. With a short “hmh” he pulled your hips towards the edge, so you were pressed into him. Your hands gripped his shoulders as a small sound escaped you. “Yeah… ” his hands on your hips held you down, intensifying the rattling thrum traveling up your core, “I noticed that…”. Your face flushed with embarrassment as he kissed your cheek. “Danny-” “I’ve been noticing you…” his lips brushed over your ear as he continued in a slow, teasing voice “and think… what happened while I was gone… is you finally started noticing me too…".

As he'd spoken his lips had started hovering lower towards your neck. His hands had worked open the next button on the already loosely buttoned plaid shirt. He'd started kissing softly down the front of your neck, making you tip your head back and sigh. Ha paused to nibble and kiss along your collarbones. You giggled as his curls tickled the underside of your jaw. His hands released the final button, gently parting the open shirt. His hands slipped in, holding your sides. He looked up to meet your eyes and you shrugged the open shirt off your shoulders, letting it hang around your elbows and across your lower back. Your breasts were now fully exposed, as you wordlessly gave him permission to continue. He bit his lip for a moment as his eyes took you in.

When he finally ducked his head, his warm mouth met the soft skin of your breast with a gentle, open-mouthed kiss. It truly felt like being worshipped. After repeating the treatment to your other breast, his kisses trailed down your stomach. He looked up at you again “I’ve been dreaming about this- literally.” “Oh you have no idea-” you were cut off as he trailed his tongue up your center. Your hands fisted in his hair as he licked over you fervently. He lowered his face slightly to lick into you. His gorgeous nose pressed into your clit, making you jolt forward, threatening to slip off the edge. His hands caught your hips, lifting you back slightly as he chuckled against your inner thigh. “We should probably find somewhere less precarious…”. You nodded, smiling and laughing breathily, your cheeks fully flushed.

Danny helped you down, waiting for you to gain your footing before taking the basket of fresh clothes from the dryer by the handle and trailing you along behind him. He tossed the warm clothes on the couch, letting them cascade across it, a few falling to the floor. "Are you expecting us to fold those- ?" "Nope." He lifted you nonchalantly, tossing you on the couch. You landed on the pile of warm, familiar, fresh-smelling clothes, sinking in slightly. 'Oh'. Your cheeks warmed as you realized where this was headed. Soon he was hovering over you, eyeing you like something he was going to devour. His smirk only grew when he got to your face. "Are you embarrassed, ‘cause you like it?" He knew it, it was surely written all over your face. But his taunting only furthered the scarlet tinge across your cheeks. Your kiss-swollen lips parted slightly but you were at a loss for words.

“That’s ok”, he chuckled softly against your ear. His hand cupped over your breast, teasing your nipple between two fingers before it smoothed down your side. His fingertips trailed along the hem of your shorts. “Can I take these off?” “Yes, please-”. He kissed your jaw before pulling away to slide your shorts and panties down your legs, tossing them on the coffee table by the folded clothes. When he returned to hover over you your hands trailed up his abdomen, under his shirt “-And get this shirt off!”. He smirked at your assertive tone. “-Not that I don’t love it, but- it’s kinda in my way.” He tossed his head back and laughed earnestly before pulling it up, over his head. You almost licked your lips at the sight of his elongated torso and flexing arms. He tossed the shirt down with a low sigh that sent a shiver through you.

As he leaned over you again, his middle finger slid between your folds. Then it was trailing back up to circle your clit. His dark, hooded eyes and cascading curls hovered over you, just out of reach. You pulled him down by the back of his neck, meeting him in a deep kiss. You gasped against his lips as the pleasure caused your hips to arch off the couch instinctively. He smiled against your lips as he traced over your entrance once more, but it was only a tease. His fingers were back to cunningly working you up as you continued to chase more contact. Your hands ran over his shoulder, exploring what you could reach of his upper back. One of your hands sunk into his hair as the tension inside you began building again. “Dannyy-” You whined, trying to spur him on. He chuckled before kissing down your neck. “I’m getting there” he chided gently before shifting further down, resettling between your legs. Not what you’d expected, but you certainly weren’t complaining, especially after the small taste you’d gotten earlier.

His strong arms linked under your thighs. His warm hands gripped your hips, pulling you the rest of the way to his waiting mouth. His lips closed around you as his eyes fluttered shut. You reached down to brush his bangs back from his face. You had to have the perfect view of his strong brow and dark lashes beating against sharp cheekbones, even the freckles that dotted the bridge of his nose. But the cherry on top was the lewd, earnest sounds from your best friend as he devoured you. As your vision started to go fuzzy from the pleasure building in you, you resigned to dropping your head back into the soft cushion of one of his many sweaters.

His hands clamped around your thighs as they started to quake. “Danny- !” this time the whine was more choked and admittedly desperate. He pulled away ever so slightly, causing your eyes to dart to his, ready for protest. His dark eyes piercing through his soft brown lashes at you, halted any words from forming as he instead spoke. “D’you still want my fingers?” “Yes. Fuck, yes please.” He smirked as his hands retreated from the tops of your thighs. His right hand smoothed up the underside of your thigh, pressing it back so your leg was bent out of his way His other hand trailed a single finger down your center, where his eyes were now trained. “Could you hold your legs up for me, -better access…” his eyes met yours as your face burned red again. “Uh, ye-yeah…” you bit your lip as you lifted your other leg, holding them both under the knee. It was certainly an exposing position, making your heart rate increase. But before you could bother feeling too self-conscious, you felt Danny kissing each of your thighs as he assumed his position. A small whimper escaped you as you heard Danny’s mouth wetting his finger -despite you already practically dripping- before sinking it into you smoothly.  

Soon his lips were closing gently over your clit with the softest of kitten licks as his finger curled deep inside you. It was as if he already knew your body intimately. His gentle beckoning gradually increased as your whines grew more desperate. “Danny, please- ” He pulled away to lean over you again, his finger barely pausing. He hung over you, his lips just out of reach, his black crystal necklace dangling teasingly from its short cord around his neck. “What do you need?” “More- of you-” He smiled at you, kissing your cheek as you felt a second finger nudge into you. He waited for you to adjust before resuming his rhythm. The calloused pad of his thumb meeting your sensitive clit forced a small gasp out of you.

He was kissing over your neck as the pressure began building in you yet again. Your hands had begun to slip and he’d noticed you struggling to focus as you attempted to keep them up for him. His free hand relieved one of yours, giving you permission to let go of the other. Your hands immediately reached for him, one burring in his hair at the back of his neck, the other cupping the side of his jaw. You brought his face up to yours, kissing him messily, filthily- but it was the  best you could muster as your pleasure neared its peak. His nose grazed the side of your face as he cooed “ It’s ok, you can let go for me”. Your orgasm overtook you, your legs quaking as his fingers continued their expert rhythm. When you finally released all tension, your hands rested tiredly over his shoulders as you breathed deeply. His fingers left you, and when your eyes opened again he was watching you, fondly, as he wiped his hand on a clean t-shirt, before gently wiping you as well.

You reached for his belt, but he took your hand, giving it a small squeeze and smiling, looking over you sheepishly. “No need, I uh- actually…” “Oh…” you sat up slightly to see a dark spot had formed in his jeans. You couldn’t help the Cheshire cat grin that spread over your face as you searched Danny’s sheepish face. “You must really like me or something…”. Danny dissolved into laughter, before swooping in to kiss you again. When he pulled back he smiled at you as his hands stroked your sides. “Don’t worry, plenty of time to explore everything else… we don’t have to do everything we’ve been imagining tonight, just cause we finally acknowledged… everything.” You nodded, trailing your hands gently up his arms in satiated bliss.

“And, Danny… “ “Hmm?” his eyes met yours and you smiled at him tenderly. “You don’t have to be ready for everything either… You weren’t single for a long time, and as much as I’m glad to know you were thinking of me too… you deserve to take your time…” He looked down, trailing his thumbs back and forth absently “...thank you.” After a few moments you sat up properly and he lifted you to sit on his lap. He stroked your arm gently as you both  enjoyed the comfortable silence for a bit. “I think I am ready for a shower, if you want to join… ” he offered. “I’d love that… after we get this dirtied laundry back in the wash...” You both looked at the flattened, sweaty clothes covering the couch around you before laughing again.

~

{Chapter 2 >>>}

Author Commentary: Annnd I may have written myself into needing a part two, again. Let me know if I should write more of this Danny. I can’t believe this is my fist solo Dannyxreader fic, and I’m sorry I haven’t posted in so long! I have a Jake fluff coming soon~

Feel free to share any thoughts!! & let me know if you want to be added/removed from my tag list~

Tag List: @star-boxer​​ @gretavanlace​​ @doodle417​​ @greta-van-chaos​​ @weightofdreams-gvf​​ @prophetofthedune​​ @gretnabancheese​​ @shutupdevvie​​ @jackiidk​​ @t00turnttrauma​​ @groggyvanfleet​​ @garagebandvanfleet​​  @gretavanflowerpower​​ @joshkiszkasunshine​​ @razorbladekiszka​​​ @hyperfixated-gvf​​ @kkdarling​​ @joshkiszkaenthusiast

[slimthicksonnett]

Little Miss Perfect (Tobin Heath)

(Woop Woop, re-upload alert!!!)

Based-ish on Little Miss Perfect performed by Taylor Louderman

Prompt: Y/N is a star. She has the perfect career, perfect sponsorships, perfect team(s), and arguably a perfect life. Or at least, that’s how she’s seen; Little Miss Perfect … or not?

Or alternatively

The 10,000+ word fic based on LMP that no one asked for but it’s one of my audition songs so I’ve been singing it nonstop for months and it now lives rent free in my head so here you go.

Warnings: Very very very long and full of detail, also it gets a little spicy in a few spots oops

——

straight hair, straight A’s, straight forward

To the world, Y/N Y/LN was the golden girl of the USWNT. To her teammates, this same title held true. The fleet footed forward joined the senior team for her first cap during the WWC in 2019 after graduating from Stanford at the top of her class. 

Since her time playing at both the national and international level, the forward had grown to a level of stardom that rivaled even Alex Morgan since she, you know, didn’t piss off the entirety of England at the World Cup. However, Y/N would be quick to thank her communications major for this public relations boost and not her skills on the pitch.

Sadly, the weight of this attention brought so many expectations onto her which certainly made an impact on someone who was still so young and trying to truly figure out who she was outside of the game. 

i don’t black out at parties, i jam to Paul McCartney

“Are you sure I can’t convince you to come out with us?” Meghan asked, leaning against the wall in the shared living space. Y/N looked up from her spot on the couch, her nose having previously been buried in work of some sorts, sparing only a moment to roll her eyes at her flatmate. 

“Kling, I already told you that I’m perfectly content with staying in tonight.” The older girl sighed dramatically and Y/N just laughed, going back to scribbling in one of the countless notebooks scattered around her.

“You know we literally have people for that? Like that’s what they’re paid to do.” Kling mumbled, motioning to Y/N’s books filled with a variety of stats ranging from national team data to the stats for Portland last season and even her stuff from the ‘17-’18 season she spent with PSG.

“You know that part of my job is being able to assess how well myself and others perform? Like that’s what I’m paid to do.” Y/N mocked playfully, causing Kling to stick her tongue out at her childishly. The action gained a laugh from the young forward and both women broke out into full faced smiles. Though the two hadn’t played together long, Kling certainly regarded the decision to share an apartment with the girl as one of the best she’d made in recent years.

“Come on, please? Lindsey and Emily will be there!” The mention of the two women she played with on both the club and national level made her perk up slightly but it still wasn’t enough to get her to break her homebody habits. Frankly, even as much as Y/N liked going out, she had come to learn that house parties and unpredictable teammates could turn into a PR nightmare and she was happy to avoid the headache whenever possible.

“I saw them the other day, I can go another night without seeing them. Besides, I’d rather not go out with my back feeling like this anyways.” Y/N muttered, finding an extra excuse in the old pain of her lower back which was currently being treated with electrical pulses from the TENS unit wired to her.

“A little alcohol would loosen that back right up and you know it.” Kling whined and Y/N just shook her head, giggling as her teammate boo’d her loudly.

“Fine, but just so you know how lame you are for missing this one, even Tobin is going.” The young forward’s eyes widened as she was a little taken aback at the mention of the veteran player. 

Though they were both home in Portland, Y/N hadn’t seen the veteran forward since the Concacaf games earlier in the month. While Tobin was of course known to attend their teambonding nights, actual Thorns parties were not her normal scene. With the thought of Tobin in mind, the idea of spending an evening out drinking with the girls didn’t sound terrible but Y/N knew she still couldn’t agree to go.

“Well, even the hardest of chillers has to go out eventually I guess.” Y/N countered, causing Kling to stop and think about it for a moment.

“Fine, that’s fair. You’re still boring though!” The defender whined again, earning what must have been the hundredth eye roll from the girl on the couch.

“And you’re still annoying. Now leave and quit being so clingy, Kling!” Both girls laughed at the word play with Kling flicking Y/N off as she walked out the front door of the apartment. 

Sighing, Y/N relaxed back into the quiet that often befell the apartment when Meghan was out on one of her many adventures. While she often loved the fast paced environment of the professional soccer world that she had been absorbed in for nearly three seasons now, it was nice to have moments like these. While part of her may have preferred to go out and drink the night away with the Thorns, there was something equally as therapeutic about drinking in the Portland view from an empty apartment where the only noise was the sound of pen against the paper and  “Hey Jude” floating over from the record player.

i ask myself what did i do, to get as far as i’ve gotten.

As quickly as the peace came, it was gone.

Days after the great party debate with Meghan, Y/N found herself back on a plane and flying across the country for pre-SheBelieves training camp. While her Thorns counterparts had flown in days earlier, Y/N was coming in just on time as she had stuck around in Portland a few extra days for both a charity event and a magazine shoot. She couldn’t quite pinpoint when this had become her way of life with media days becoming more prominent and her social followings flying into the millions. Regardless of the how, why, or when, Y/N was more than happy to play her part in the grand scheme of the game if it meant putting women’s soccer on the pedestal it deserved. However, to say she was exhausted by the time she hit the seat on her flight to Orlando would certainly be an understatement. Somewhere in the back of her mind she made a mental note to text and ask Alex how the hell she did it all.

A pretty girl walks by my locker, my heart gives a flutter but I don’t dare utter a word…

Yawning, Y/N made her way into the locker room. The youngins were the first to see her and she was immediately taken down by the team’s oldest kid, Kelley O’Hara. With a trademark flying squirrel hug, the Utah player wrapped herself around the body of the younger girl who didn’t even miss a step at the impact. 

“Hi nerd, we missed you!” Kelley nuzzled into Y/N’s neck which had warmed under her touch as she blushed bright red. Sonnett and Rose were quick to join the tackle-hug situation as the forward shuffled towards her locker with the girls hanging off of her. 

“Oh my god, let her breathe!” The voice belonged to Sam Mewis who crossed the locker room easily and helped pluck the little soccer stars off of her. 

“Thanks Sammy, I could handle Kels but the other two nearly took me out.” Y/N admitted, brushing off and straightening her clothes.

“No problem, I never understood why they made your tiny self team pack mule.” Sam laughed, ruffling her hand through the smaller player’s hair. 

“It’s those muscles, makes it easy to carry us.” A new voice added to the conversation. Y/N, who had sat down on the bench to begin the process of putting on her gear, looked up with wide eyes and a beet red face. Sam laughed and nodded her head in agreement as the veteran player walked towards them. Tobin wore a signature smirk as she offered Y/N a wink that the latter nearly missed as she became focused on the laces of her boots.

“It’s good to see you again superstar, it’s been a minute.” Tobin said as Y/N simply nodded her head in response, not being able to find her words. 

Though both women had been in Portland during their short break, neither had seen the other since the Concacaf games had ended. It wasn’t as if Y/N had purposely been avoiding the other forward, she wasn’t sure she could ever bring herself to do that, but admittedly it was odd that the two who had been so close since Y/N’s first cap had gone such a time without seeing each other. 

Thankfully, Tobin had grown used to this nonverbal state that the normally chattery girl seemed to always enter around her. Frankly, she took it as a compliment that Y/N felt she could be quiet around her instead of putting on what the team loved to call her ‘media face’. Gently, she placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze of reassurance. Tobin felt her heart nearly stop in her chest when Y/N looked up and their eyes locked, both girls’ cheeks now beyond rosey with a blush.  If it had been anyone else the interaction would have been regarded with raised brows and questions from their teammates, but not with Y/N. 

Cause that would be absurd behavior for Little Miss Perfect…

Practice continued in a predictable cycle over the next few days. 

With the depth of the bench for forwards on the national team, practice could often feel like a battle. Y/N went strong and gave her all on the field, doing everything she could to secure her starting spot in the SheBelieves games. Despite the competition, she found herself bubbling over with energy every time there was a chance to scrimmage.

“Alright, the field is yours!” Vlatko announced at the end of their Friday practice. The sun was beating down on the group of women and practice had been long and hot. Still, there was no way that the majority of them were letting an open field and an early ended practice go to waste.

“Kids versus vets!” Pinoe screamed already running towards the pitch. There were groans of complaints from some of the girls and mutters as they tried to figure out how to divide themselves.

“Fine, but only if vets wear the pinnies! And we get Kelley!” Mal yelled back, hands on her hips and a pout on her lips. Many of the vets laughed at Mals list of demands but they all agreed which is how they got to where they were now, standing in a loose huddle. Y/N stared at her teammates with a serious expression and crossed arms as she and Kelley surveyed the group and tried to figure out how they were going to pull this off because frankly neither of the girls wanted to get their asses beat before their off day. 

“How are we about to pull this off?” Kelley muttered, looking around the group. Y/N smacked her gently as she scanned the roster of youngins in front of her. With a wave of her hand, she set Jane and AD off to play rock-paper-scissors or something to figure out who would start in goal since she really couldn’t pick. Second later Y/N’s eyes lit up as she saw her opening.

“We have Rose!” She exclaimed suddenly, gaining weird looks from her teammates and an even more confused look from the midfielder herself.

“Um, obviously?” Sonnett said, looking at the girl like she was an idiot.

“Exactly. Which means we have the attacking midfielder.” Y/N explained slowly, waiting for the rest of the youngins to catch on.

“Which means that Ertz will need support…” Tierna muttered, slowly realizing where their captain was going with this.

“And we know Sammy isn’t going to be the one providing it.” Rose quipped, causing the girls to laugh as they all cast a glance over to where their Tower of Power had collapsed in the shade of the stands at the end of the day’s practice.

“So they need someone else in midfield. Someone who is going to be aggressive but calculated and can try to push the ball forward…” Y/N was excited now, itching for one of her teammates to take the bait and catch on to what she was implying.

“Oh my god, they’re going to try and surprise us because they have to put Tobin in midfield!” Kelley gasped, jumping up and down in her spot.

“Exactly, but we’ll be ready.” Y/N grinned, ready for the challenge that the vet would certainly present. As if a switch had been flicked in her brain, a suddenly scheming Y/N began to whisper to the girls her plans to beat what would certainly be a 3-2-2 since the vets declared Pinoe as captain. 

With Ash and AD taking their places as the self declared referees of the match, the vets moved to their spots on the field. Pinoe was grinning as if she’d done something miraculous as Tobin joined Julie in the midfield but the smile was wiped clean off her face as the newly dubbed Coach Tierna waved ‘her players’ onto the pitch. When the girls countered the 3-2-2 with a 2-3-2, Pinoe threw her hands up in exasperation. 

“Oh come on! How did you even think of that? A 2-3-2? Who even does that!” The older forward was clearly frustrated that her plans of throwing the youngins off with Tobin in midfield had been thwarted but the rest of the vets looked a mix of either amused or impressed, Tobin included.

“What can I say, we saw it coming from a mile away. You know what they say, can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” Y/N’s little quip was met with a gasp from Pinoe who furrowed her eyebrows at the young player as their teammates howled in laughter.

“Oh, it is so on Y/LN.” 

And so it was, at least for the other half of the field. Y/N and Mal were both bouncing on their toes in anticipation but the ball was constantly getting caught up in the midfield. When the youngins had made the assumption that Rose against Ertz was going to be a powerful match, they had certainly been right. The two women were at eachothers throats and even if the ball escaped them, it was quickly funnelled back by one of the wide midfielders. 

“Y/N, go!” Tierna yelled from the sidelines and that had simply been the approval she’d been waiting on. If anyone read the field on the same level as Y/N, it was Tierna, and Y/N certainly trusted her judgement as she threw herself into the mix of the midfield and left Mal behind to prepare. 

The ball was at Julie’s feet when Y/N joined the action, but Rose was quick to see the opportunity and she snagged the ball and shot it immediately to the forwards boot. With a normally unrivaled speed, Y/N shot off down the pitch and back towards Mal. 

However, before she could get too far, a familiar lean frame was on her tail. She cursed mentally, knowing that outrunning Tobin wasn’t an option and at this point neither was passing to Mal as the newly moved midfielder closed in on her. The entirety of the field took a collective breath as Y/N juggled with the ball at her feet as Tobin closed the gap between them. The two players were a pair who normally worked incredibly well together so seeing them face off set a tension over the pitch that the rest of the team wasn’t quite sure they were allowed to disrupt. 

“Coincidence seeing you here.” Y/N jested, sliding the ball around her body and away from Tobin’s darting feet. The midfielder wasn’t sure what kind of game Y/N was playing here but she was determined not to let her even get near the defensive line. As someone who had played this position with Y/N before, Tobin knew the danger that was coming if she let the younger girl get to Mal. 

“Not a coincidence, you knew she’d put me here.” Breathing heavy, her tone came out in a rasp that made the little breath that Y/N had catch in her throat. Refusing to let the butterflies that had for some reason erupted in her stomach derail her, she plastered a confident smirk onto her face.

“Maybe I did, and maybe that’s why I’m here. You should play midi more, it looks good on you.” The unexpected confidence along with the wink that Y/N threw Tobin was enough to stop the normally confident player in her tracks for a mere millisecond. She had to be imagining the interaction because there was no way that Y/N, the beautiful girl who turned nearly mute around her, had just offered her a compliment and a wink all at once. That would be, well, absurd. 

Regardless, something must have happened, because in the millisecond that Tobin was distracted, Y/N found her window. Without so much as a second thought, she twisted her body and kicked the ball through Tobins legs before whipping around her and sending the ball barreling towards Mal. 

“No fucking way!” Crystal yelled on defense, jaw on the ground. Mal in turn took the shock of the back line in her favor as she turned and layed in a shot that slipped just over the gloves of Uncle Naeher and into the right corner of the net. 

Tobin’s eyes went even wider than they had moments ago as she let herself sink to the grass, attempting to process the last minute in her mind. There was no way that their golden girl had just done that.

Something about her drew me in.. what? It’s totally platonic.

It seemed like that was a common theme for Y/N today, acting out of character that is. After the embarrassing 1-0 loss, the team had made their way back to the hotel where everyone had retreated to their respective rooms. That was, atleast, at first. 

Within an hour of being back, Y/N and Rose’s room had been overrun by the team’s younger players and their unexplainable amounts of energy. Kelley and Sonnett were the main culprits, retelling the details of the scrimmage for the thousandth time as if the tale of the two chaotic defenders holding down the back line was the best thing since sliced bread. Already having taken her shower and starting the process of winding down for the day, a tired Y/N decided to seek solace from her teammates. 

Her first stop would normally have been Alex’s room, but since she was still out with an acute case of a Charlie horse, she tried her other options. Ashlyn and Ali didn’t answer her knocks, Alyssa was already asleep in her own bed, and Tiernas room was somehow noisier than her own.

That’s how she ended up at the door she had been accidentally avoiding with her fist raised to knock but something gnawed at her and stopped the motion. Her internal dialogue was bitter for a moment, snipping about how the woman she had brutally nutmegged earlier certainly didn’t want to see her. But some small part of her that needed so desperately to see the other woman made her hand move forward.

“Hey Y/N, what’s up?” The forward turned midfielder asked, leaning against her door frame. For some reason, the confidence that Y/N held earlier had completely disappeared as she took in Tobin in her re-inc shorts and muscle tank. 

“Um, the girls are being loud.” She muttered, looking towards the ground and finding interest in Tobins slides. 

“Need a place to chill out?” Tobin questioned, raising an eyebrow at the girl in front of her. Part of her was pleased to have the quiet, blushy girl back while another part of her wondered where the self confident girl on the pitch had gone.

“Please?” Y/N sighed deeply as Tobin stepped aside and let her into the hotel room.

“I was watching some documentary on the history channel if you want to join?” Tobin asked, inclining her head towards her bed that was situated in front of the hotel’s crappy TV. While Y/N doubted any documentary would hold her interest, she nodded her headed and moved towards the bed. 

Without another word, the two women slipped into the bed. Y/N, who wasn’t characteristically a cuddler, somehow found herself half asleep and curled into Tobins side. The older of the two bit her lip at the unexpected contact, feeling the heat of Y/Ns touch. Not knowing what else to do, Tobin wrapped her arm around the girl and pulled her closer as she moved the blankets to cover them up. Humming in content, Y/N fell into a deep sleep, something her brain would later blame on the smell of rainstorms and fresh linens instead of the woman that was holding her tightly.

“She looks like she’s a part of you, Tobes.” Midge giggled after walking back into their shared hotel room. Tobin shushed the woman and sent her a pointed glare that disappeared the moment she looked down at the girl sleeping peacefully in her arms, a hint of a smile pulling at the corner of her mouth. 

“I’m just glad she’s comfortable, Rose said she hadn’t been sleeping well.” Tobin admitted, allowing her fingers to trace delicate patterns across Y/Ns exposed skin. Midge smiled softly at the two women as she watched their interaction, letting out a soft sigh.

“Tobin…” She whispered, giving the woman a knowing look. Tobin let out a sigh of her own as she bit her lip and shook her head.

“Don’t Midge, please.” Her voice cracked slightly, brimming with unspoken emotions that made Midge tear up. Nodding her head, Midge turned to leave, giving the girls the room. Before she could exit the room though, she turned back towards a hurting Tobin.

“You never know, Tobes.” She intended for the words to give the player some sort of hope but they appeared to have the opposite effect as a tear tried to slip from Tobins watering eyes. 

“Even if she was, she’s untouchable.” Tobin admitted, her eyes never leaving Y/N’s sleeping form, carefully monitoring the rising and falling of her chest to make sure she was asleep.

“Maybe, but nearly half the world wants her and yet she’s always stayed here with you instead. That has to count for something.” Midge whispered finally, before sliding out of the door. 

Tobins eyes wandered over the younger girl’s face as she carefully attempted to regain her composure. Finding her composure wasn’t coming easily though as her thoughts wandered to Midge’s words. Maybe it did mean something that she was single, but there was no way it was anything that concerned her. The two were certainly close but their connection was purely platonic, right?

That night was so exciting. Her smirk was so enticing.. 

Sometime later, the pair found themselves lounging together on a coach in Pinoes room for some captain called team bonding. While Y/N and Tobin would have been content to have stayed in Tobins bed, Frat Daddy Sr. and Jr. had declared that the two simply had to participate as it would be the only night for a while where they could drink or “partake in adult beverages” as Sonnett had put it. 

“Are you sure we should even be drinking?” Y/N asked, eyeing the bottle in her hand questioningly as most of the team chuckled at their little rule follower. 

“We have the day off tomorrow so there’s no reason we shouldn’t!” Pinoe grinned, clinking the neck of her bottle against Kelleys. Y/N’s encouragement to actually start drinking came when she let her eyes flit over to Tobin who once again wore a signature smirk.

“Unless of course you pulled an Alex and got pregnant or something…” Tobin choked on her beer as she looked at Crystal with wide eyes, the woman merely shrugging in response. 

“Doesn’t hurt to ask since we know next to nothing about Y/N’s personal life. For all we know she could be in some sort of serious, committed relationship!” There was a mischievous glint in Dunny’s eyes as she cast a sideways glance at Tobin who had now resorted to chugging the drink that she was holding. 

“Jesus..” Y/N muttered, eyeing her beer again for a moment before quickly chugging it. Many of the women in the room let out whoops and hollers at this newly found talent of Y/N’s as she finished the drink without hesitation. Setting the empty bottle down on the table beside Tobins, Y/N let out a long sigh before relaxing backwards.

“So I’ll take that to mean you’re not pregnant?” Pinoe teased, causing the room to fill with laughter. 

“No, definitely not pregnant and certainly not in some top secret relationship.” She wasn’t sure whether it was the buzz from the beer or the tightening of Tobin’s grip around her waist that let the admission stumble out, but somehow she was glad it did. The team shared surprised glances, seeing inside the life of their fairly private forward for the first time, while Tobin let out a sigh of relief. A sigh that didn’t go undetected by the younger player who was currently leaning into her side. 

“Well if you’re not in a serious relationship now then is there someone you want to be in a relationship with?” The question surprisingly came from Ashlyn this time as the goalie leaned forward in anticipation. 

“Babe!” Ali gasped, quickly reprimanding her wife.

“What? I’m just asking! Because this team is going to need a new power couple and so far the rest of the youngins have failed me.” Hearing Ashlyn’s words, Y/N’s eyes went as wide as Tobin’s had been moments ago as she struggled to somehow speak. A power couple? Before she could form a sentence though, Tobin’s voice snatched the room’s attention. 

“I thought we came in here for team bonding, not team interrogation.” The quip came out more serious than she had meant, her tone low and voice nearly at a growl. Shocked, Ashlyn and others leaned back in their seats, trying to put some distance between themselves and the clearly irritated woman.

“Tobin’s right, let’s play a game.”

Hours speed by like seconds then, what happens is iconic.

How Tobin got in her current position was simple. However, where she was going to go from here seemed much more complex.

See, when Tobin had suggested the girls switch to actual team bonding, Miss Lindsey Horan had been quick to jump on the idea. Ever the scheming gay, Lindsey suggested the girls play Strip Truth or Dare which was certainly just a ploy for her to be able to see Sonnett’s abs. All seemed to go according to plan as after a few targeted questions, Sonnett did in fact end up shirtless. The rest of the game though was much more random and left many of the girls either shirtless or shortless as they shied away from some of their teammates’ more challenging dares. 

“Here you go Tobbito. Give it a spin.” Kelley was grinning mischievously as she handed the empty beer bottle to Tobin who eyed it with distaste. Having opted to take O’Hara’s dare, Tobin now had to spend seven minutes stuck in a tight linen closet with whoever the bottle landed on. It was a classic Kelley style dare as the woman loved to see how far she could push her teammates to go but it was also one that Tobin always turned down. Tonight though, her options were to take the dare or take off her shorts so she regrettably chose the former. 

As the bottle spun around on the table, her teammates watched in excitement. She could feel the girl beside her tense as it slowed and she was damn near sure she felt her heart stop when the bottle finally stilled. Tobin could sense many of her teammates less than thrilled reactions when the bottle stilled and Kelley clearly scrunched her face up in displeasure. 

“The one time I get Tobin to actually do this and I’m not even going to get anything messy? Ugh, fine. Go like, bond for seven minutes or something.” With an air of fake confidence, Tobin stood to her feet and reached her hand out to the other girl who almost grudgingly took it. Tailed by Kelley and her timer, the two somehow settled into the tiny closet together.

She tells a joke, I nearly choke. Next thing I know, I lose control. I finally kiss her but oh no.

“Coincidence seeing you here.” Y/N joked for the second time that day, forcing herself to meet Tobin’s eyes.

“I’d say it wasn’t a coincidence but there’s no way either of us saw this one coming.” Tobin countered, and Y/N nodded her head in agreement as she laughed softly.

“True, because if Kelley had seen this coming she wouldn’t have wasted a dare on it.” 

“Poor Kelley was expecting a show and instead she got us.” Both of the girls laughed at that but Y/N’s laugh caught in her throat as Tobin adjusted her position, accidentally running her hand across Y/N’s exposed thigh in the process.

Blushing profusely, Tobin ducked her head and mumbled some sort of apology as Y/N attempted to shift herself backwards. However, the closeness to the wall caught her off guard and she tumbled forward instead. Out of instinct, Tobin immediately leaned towards Y/N and grabbed the girls waist in an attempt to steady her. But, in the confined space, the action only made it so that the pair were now hovering inches apart as Y/N’s hands pushed against the wall on either side of Tobins head.

“You think you can’t put on a show with me?” Y/N attempted to jest but it came out much closer to a whisper as she shut her eyes, daring not to even glance at the woman who held her waist.

“N-no. It’s just, no one is expecting you of all people to sit in a closet and makeout with a teammate or something.” Tobins response was rushed and stuttered as her eyes darted around Y/N’s face, taking in every freckle and scar.

Maybe it was Tobins stutter, or the feeling of her deep breaths ticking against Y/N’s lips, but something willed Y/N to open her eyes. The bold movements didn’t stop there though as she moved her hands down and brought them so that they were laced together behind Tobins neck.

“I’m tired of following everyone’s expectations.” Her voice was deeper now and any tone of annoyance that should be expected with the sentence was simply absent. 

“Then don’t follow them.” Tobin’s own voice was raspy and daring as she broke eye contact and let her gaze drift down to the other girl’s lips. 

As though the words were the final push she needed, Y/N shifted to her knees and leaned forward, lightly placing her lips against Tobin’s. As she moved to pull away from the kiss, she felt the hands on her waist tighten slightly. Tentatively, Y/N leaned back in to kiss Tobin again and was surprised when she was met halfway. With the girls finally realizing that both sides wanted this, the pressure behind the kiss increased. 

Without hesitation, Tobin pulled Y/N in closer by her hips so that the younger girl was fully straddling her. The kiss was all teeth and tongue as the two clashed against each other, each touch filled with need. 

Tobin wasn’t sure at what point Y/N had leaned back for air, and she was less sure of when she had attached her lips to her teammates neck. What she did know was that between the little sounds that slipped past Y/N’s lips and the way she tugged at Tobin’s hair, she never wanted to stop.

“Tobin…” The defender gasped, head falling backward as Tobin nipped at her newly exposed collarbone. 

She wasn’t sure what she was thinking when she left the marks on Y/N’s neck and it was truly possible that she wasn’t thinking of anything at all. Well, nothing other than the feelings of the other girls muscular thighs under her fingers and the warmth of exposed skin against her lips. Y/N couldn’t place any blame on Tobin though, because at no point would she ever have asked the forward to stop what she was doing. In fact, she was certain that if she could find her voice that she would beg her to do just the opposite. 

The only thing that finally ripped them apart was another voice, an outside voice. 

“Alright idiots, you can come out now.” Kelley yelled, banging twice against the closet door before walking away.

If the two hadn’t been so startled by the interruption, they probably would’ve laughed at the word choice. Instead, they sat together in silence, simply staring into eachothers eyes without moving from their previous position. 

Ultimately it was Y/N who regained her composure first, pulling herself upright. Tobin stayed in her spot on the floor, watching the way Y/N straightened her shirt and ran her fingers through her hair as she took deep breaths in an attempt to steady herself. And then she held out her hand, a silent offer to help Tobin up, which Tobin hesitantly expected. Of course, in the still cramped space, pulling Tobin to stand upright once again put the pair nose to nose. 

Once again, it was Y/N who snapped out of it first. With burning cheeks, she cleared her throat and turned her head away from Tobin as she opened the door to let them out. 

“Took you two long enough.” Ash remarked as the pair made their way back into the lounge area. Without a word, Tobin made a beeline for her spot beside Christen which had remained open. Her best friend gave her an odd look but Tobin simply shook her head in dismissal and Christen didn’t push it any further than that. 

Meanwhile, Y/N just laughed and shrugged her shoulders as she fixed the girls with one of her award winning smiles. In that moment, she found that she was actually grateful for the years of media training that had taught her to force a fake smile as she stood in front of her teammates pretending that watching Tobin just dart to the safety of Christen Press’s side didn’t hurt her in the slightest.

“Yeah well we got a little tangled up.” The team just laughed and thought nothing of the statement, except for Tobin who nearly choked on air at the double meaning of her words.

As much trust as Y/N had in her acting skills, she couldn’t stand to stick around and smile any longer. With a very exaggerated yawn, she happily took her leave and waved goodnight to her ever oblivious teammates. 

It wasn’t until she finally found herself in her own room, cocooned tightly in the warmth of her comfort hoodie and hotel sheets, that she let her smile fall. Because here she was on top of the world, performing at the highest level of women’s soccer like she had always wanted. It had taken so much hard work to get here, but also so much personal sacrifice. Soon the warmth of her blankets was matched by the warmth of the tears that streamed down her face as she laid alone and contemplated just how much of herself she was willing to continue to deny. 

You’re just confused believe her when she says there’s nothing there

“Okay seriously, where is this girl?” Mal whined, looking around for the woman who was usually her partner in crime. 

“Maybe she’s hungover.” Rose mused as her best friend pouted. 

“Well she’s almost late, and she promised she’d go to brunch with us today for our off day.” It was Pinoe who was pouting now, looking very much like someone’s angry grandma and the majority of the team was fighting the urge to laugh. 

“You know if y’all were so worried I was going to be late, you could’ve called.” The girls’ heads all turned in the direction of the voice as their teammate appeared in the hotel lobby. Kelley and her fellow crackhead children let out a long round of wolf whistles and cheers as the young player stepped into the room. 

“Well damn, nevermind. If we had known you were going to come out looking that good, we wouldn’t have complained about you taking so long!” Mal hollered while Y/N giggled and ducked her head, a blush spreading over her cheeks that nearly matched the pink silk tank that she wore. 

When she lifted her head, her eyes made contact with a sparkling pair of brown ones that couldn’t be torn off of her. Tobin somehow couldn’t even summon one of her dashing smiles as she took in Y/N’s ensemble. Without the suit jacket hanging on her shoulders, the outfit would arguably be scandalous for Y/N as she almost purposefully allowed the top to leave little to the imagination.

“Quit gawking you gays and get to the cars, I need coffee.” Y/N laughed as she tossed her hair over her shoulder and clicked past the girls, linking her arm with Mals and heading out the doors.

When the girls did get to brunch, they filled the little cafe up with the sounds of their laughter and conversation. As Y/N joked around with Mal and Sonnett, she’d occasionally glance up to find her favorite pair of brown eyes struggling to look away from her. Focusing on the latte she was sipping, she allowed herself to think of the night before, of the feelings of Tobin’s nails scraping her thighs, of her lips ghosting across her neck, of her tongu-

“Oh my GOD, Y/N!” Startled, Y/N nearly dropped her coffee as she looked up like a deer in headlights at Crystal whose jaw was nearly on the floor. 

“What?” She questioned, confused as to why Crystal and now more of her teammates were looking at her as though she’d sprouted a second head. 

“Where the hell did those come from?!” Sonnett half shouted, her cold fingers brushing against Y/N’s collarbone. Flinching away, the young player looked to see what the girls were staring at. When she saw them, she both internally laughed and cursed. Right on her collarbone were two dark bruises, now completely visible to everyone as her blazer had since shifted to the side and off her shoulder.

“Who in the hell gave you hickeys?” Kelley hissed, growing very protective of the young girl.

“Huh? Ohhhh, these? I don’t know. Must be from the ball Tobin nailed me with at practice yesterday.” This time, Tobin actually did choke, sputtering on her coffee. Luckily it was only Y/N who noticed the reaction, doing her best to keep an innocent face as her teammates struggled to accept her lie.

“Are you sure? Because those look a lot like hickeys to me.” Lindsey challenged as she looked at her longtime teammate who just chuckled and shrugged.

“Well I guess you’d certainly know, wouldn’t you?” Y/N teased, of course referencing the array of bruises that Sonnett had left all over Lindsey’s chest on her last Portland visit. Lindsey and Sonnett both went wide eyed and turned bright red.

“This isn’t about me!” Lindsey attempted to counter but it was too late, the girls had already caught on and were fully invested in this new discovery.

Sighing deeply, Y/N pulled her blazer back into its place as she tuned back into the conversation at the table. Mal was still eyeing her with a slightly skeptical look but other than that, Y/N was in the clear. 

That was until they got back to the hotel.

“Alright, fess up.” Mal fixed Y/N with a pointed look as they walked into their hotel room. 

“To what?” She questioned, sitting down on the edge of the bed to kick off her heels. 

“Where did those actually come from?” Pointing an accusatory finger, Mal jumped onto the bed beside her best friend. 

“I already told y’all at brunch. We were at practice yesterday and I accidentally stepped wrong and took a ball to the chest from Tobin.” Y/N grumbled the excuse in a dismissive fashion as she finally got her heels off and turned to sit cross legged on the bed facing Mal.

“Please, I’d sooner believe that Tobin ACTUALLY gave them to you herself before I believe you accidentally stepped in front of a ball.” Mal snorted, not realizing at first the way that her bestfriends face completely flushed. 

“What?” The forward asked, finally realizing that Y/N had gone completely silent.

“Nothing.” Y/N simply whispered back, focusing on the pink polish on her fingernails. Mal stared at her in confusion, trying to figure out what was going on and why she’d suddenly shut down. As Mal mentally rewound the conversation in her head, she realized exactly what it was he had said.

“Holy shit, Y/N/N! You’re not seriously telling me tha-”

“NO!” Y/N yelled with the full force of her chest, startling the small girl in front of her. “No, I’m not telling you anything.” Her voice was lowered to a whisper this time as she still refused to look up at Mal whose jaw was currently dropped to the floor.

“Okay so if you’re not telling me anything then I guess we’ll have to talk about another situation.” Y/N looked up now, eyeing her friend suspiciously.

“Hypothetically speaking,” Mal began and Y/N nearly laughed. “Could those bruises on your neck that are totally not hickeys be from one Tobin Heath.”

“Hypothetically?” 

“Hypothetically.” 

“Then yes, hypothetically.” Y/N was certain that Mal’s eyes were near the point of falling out of her head at how wide eyed she’s gone. In fact, it would’ve been humorous if she wasn’t engaged in an internal civil war. What on god’s green earth was she admitting to?

“Hypothetically, this was during team bonding night? In the closet?” The irony wasn’t lost on her now but she nodded in confirmation regardless.

“Okay… but why does it matter this much? You’re not ga-”

“Hypothetically!” Y/N hissed, wanting to, needing to, hold this false sense of anonymity for some time longer.

“Okay, okay. Well, hypothetically speaking, you’ve never had a girlfriend and you’ve never even kissed a girl?” Mal questioned, tilting her head to the side in confusion as she attempted to connect dots.

“Never. It’s always been boys but I mean I never dated much anyways because of soccer…. Hypothetically.” Y/N admitted, fixating on the way the pink flakes of nailpolish fell from her fingertips.

“Alright. So if you’re not gay, why does it matter so much?” 

“Hypothetically, I don’t know. Hell, realistically I don’t know.” She finally conceded, her head falling into her hands as her voice cracked.

“Hey, hey, babygirl come here.” Mal opened her arms and pulled her best friend into her, running her hands gently through the hair as they rocked together slowly.

“It’s okay Y/N/N, you’re probably just confused right now.” She knew it was supposed to be reassuring but somehow it felt like the exact opposite.

“Confused?” Y/N asked, sniffling as she sat with her head buried into Mal’s chest. The other girl simply hummed in response as she continued to play with Y/N’s hair, attempting to find the words to say. 

“Mhm, it’s probably been a while since you’ve been with anyone and Tobin gave you what you wanted, y'know? It probably doesn’t mean anything. I mean, I’ve kissed Rose a hundred times playing silly games like that with the team but that doesn’t mean that it has to mean anything. You’re just confused and overthinking it all right now, there’s nothing there.” 

And that was that. Neither girl said anything else. They just sat like that for the rest of their evening, Y/N wrapped securely in Mal’s arms as they laid together in the silence of the room. That was, until Mal got up to go to dinner. A dinner Y/N refused to go to as she stayed in bed, saying that she didn’t feel so great. She would blame the mimosas at brunch but somehow she knew it was something or someone else that had her stomach turning.

It’s never worth it when you’re Little Miss Perfect…

It turns out Y/N was confused.

She was confused at breakfast, confused during warmups, and even confused on the pitch during practice. 

It didn’t take long for her teammates to pick up on it as they watched their normally hyperactive forward hardly jog after the ball. Her passes were sloppy and her defense was weak, a clear sign that her head was in the clouds.

“Y/N, here!” Vlatko called from the sidelines, pointing at the spot beside him. Y/N jogged off the pitch and over to her coach who nodded for her to sit down on the bench. Tailing her were a pair of trainers, fixed on taking her temperature and checking for injuries to try deduce if there was a physical ailment holding her back. 

“It’s nothing,” Y/N sighed, shaking off the worried hands and eyes fixated on her. “I’m just having an off day Coach, I’ll be alright.” Vlatko nodded his head in understanding but couldn’t shake the feeling that he wasn’t being told the whole truth. 

“No, I know you, this isn’t just an off day for you to push through.” His words were firm in his normal, coaching way, but there was a gentleness behind it that he often reserved for the young star. Having played for Vlatko in the NWSL over the years had curated a strong coach and player relationship between the two that was now proving to be as important off the pitch it was on.

“It’s not benefiting anyone for you to be out there if you’re off like that, we don’t need you getting hurt or hurting someone else. Why don’t you change out and rest or see Hacker. You can rejoin us at weights this evening.” It may have seemed to be a question but there was a finality to Vlatko’s words, implying that he wasn’t about to take no for an answer. 

In response, Y/N simply nodded and trudged off to the locker room where she grabbed her bag and didn’t even bother to change. With a halfhearted wave to her concerned teammates, she loaded herself into the van and let the staffer drive her back to the hotel. While the suggestion of going to see the team’s psychologist still stood, Y/N was certain she’d much rather prefer the comfort of her hotel bed than the judgemental eyes of Hacker. 

And that’s where she stayed, once again cocooned in her blankets and hiding from the outside world. 

It’s only for a little bit, I just need a break, was what she told herself. It’s also what she told her troubled teammates as they slowly filtered back from the field, peaking their heads in to check on her. One by one they all did this, peaking in to see how she was holding up. 

All of them but one. 

She wasn’t going to say that it bothered her, but it did. Of course it did. How could it not? Tobin was one of her best friends and checking up on her would be the best friend thing to do, right?

Coincidentally, that was the same argument Tobin was having in her head as she stood outside of room 117. 

Though, her argument was more: could she control herself not to say or do something stupid while checking up on Y/N, the girl who is supposed to only be her close friend and teammate, when they’re there in her hotel room alone. 

The simple answer was no. Ever since the incident in the closet, ironically enough Tobin thought, the two girls had avoided each other like the plague as they attempted to tackle dealing with everything going on. Though, in truth, Tobin didn’t want to ignore her teammate. She missed her smile, her laugh, and everything else about her that had molded her to grow into the star that she was. 

But that was the real problem, wasn’t it? Everything Tobin loved about Y/N were the same traits that made it impossible to get a hand on her. Those traits that she loved like her contagious laughter and smiles, her focus and ambition, her drive to be the best that she could be but never pushing down anyone in her way. She was perfectly convinced that these traits were everything that the world had come to see and idolize her for as well, putting her on a pedestal that was far beyond Tobin’s reach. 

Because even if by some chance she was gay and liked Tobin,  Y/N was the football worlds Little Miss Perfect and there was no way she would risk that title for someone like Tobin. Right?

So, friends it is. 

And friends check on friends.

So Tobin knocked. 

She figured it would be unlocked, that after a day of being pestered by her teammates, Y/N would have just left the door open so that they could come and go. But it wasn’t. 

The door was locked and there was knocking, which meant an emotionally exhausted Y/N was forced to find her footing and open it. When she did, she wished she could close it. 

Standing eye to eye with Tobin Powell Heath was perhaps one of the most terrifying things a human being could experience.

When you add the fact that Y/N fully knew she looked as though she had been run over by a bus, this experience somehow became scarier. She had no fancy clothes or makeup to shield her from Tobin’s pensive stares or a USWNT crest on her chest to boost her ever shaking confidence. 

Standing in that doorway, it was just Y/N and Tobin. 

“Hey…” Tobin muttered, somehow daring to be the first to break the silence between the two.

“Hi.” Y/N whispered in response as she slowly stepped aside to open the door wider, a silent invitation for the forward to enter the room 

The tense silence ensued as the pair both crossed into the room, the only interruption being the soft click as the hotel door locked back into place behind them. 

“I’m sorry.” Tobin finally managed, standing with her back against the wall and crossing her arms in close to her chest. Y/N took a moment to observe the pose as it felt unusual for her to see Tobin so tense and lacking her regular chilled expressions. Unknowingly to her though, Tobin was taking this silence as a moment to do the same, watching closely as Y/N settled herself onto the edge of the bed, her small frame practically swallowed by the large, thin cotton shirt she had certainly stolen from Sam’s suitcase. 

“Oh it’s fine, I’m feeling much better now. I just haven’t been sleeping well and really needed to be up here and rest.” If the forward wasn’t easily fooled by Y/N’s dismissive response or her tight lipped smile, the way that she couldn’t bring herself to look up into Tobin’s eyes completely gave her away.

“That’s not what I’m talking about.” Y/N’s gaze flitted upwards now, a small storm of panic flashing in her eyes as Tobin spoke.

Did they really want to go there right now? 

“I know everything from the other night must have confused you and it didn’t mean anything-” Crack.

Apparently so.

“-but it was just a game and Kelley is stupid so like don’t worry about it. I mean, if you need to keep avoiding me-”

“Shut up, Tobin.” Y/N”s voice barely reached above a whisper, not nearly loud enough to interrupt Tobin’s continuous rambling.

“-because you’re disgusted or whatever so like it’s fine if-”

“Tobin.” Still soft.

“And I can just give you space or whatever you need so yo-”

“Tobin!” This time, Tobin stops. Now standing mere feet away from Tobin and looking, well, frustrated, Y/N stood within reach of the forward who currently resembled a deer in headlights.

“For the love of God, please shut up.” Y/N sighed, pinching at the bridge of her nose in frustration. 

“I-I’m sorry, I’ll just g-”

“No!” In a flash, Y/N reached out and snatched Tobin’s wrist before she could fully turn to walk away.

“No, no. It’s just, God, I’m sorry.” Releasing the other woman’s wrist, she stepped back slowly, shakily. 

“What? What for?” Tobin was rubbing her sore wrist, ignoring the tingling heat that spread up her arm from the touch, while fixing Y/N with a questioning look. Hadn’t she been the one who came in here to apologize? Why was it that she was the one saying sorry instead? 

“Just, everything I guess? I shouldn’t have pushed you to play that night or gone to the closet with you or, yeah. Yeah.” Her back was to Tobin now, not wanting her to see her face as it was taking everything she had just to hold back the tears she knew were threatening to choke her up. 

“Hey, no, it’s okay. What’s that thing Kelley always says, it takes two to tango or whatever?” Y/N couldn’t help but snort at how on brand the comment was. In such a tense moment, leave it to Tobin to awkwardly quote one of their stupid teammates because she couldn’t find her own words.

“Yeah, that’s it.”

“See, it’s okay. So if you need to keep avoiding me than I understand that because I know you need space because you’re disgusted by m-”

“Wait, what?” Interrupting Tobin seemed to be a theme now as Y/N spun on her heels to face the woman, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“I said I understand that you need space?” Tobin repeated, not quite getting the confusion of her words.

“No, not that. The other part, about being d…” She trailed off, not quite liking the taste of the word in her mouth.

“Disgusted? The part about you being disgusted by me?” A look of dismay washed over Y/N’s face and Tobin was rather taken aback by the glint of sadness that flashed in her eyes. 

“You think that I’m disgusted by you now, Tobes?” The nickname rolled sweetly off her tongue and straight to Tobin’s heart. Everything in Y/N’s body was screaming at her. How could she do this? How could she make her favorite person in the entire world think that she was disgusted by her?

“I mean, yeah? I figured since we kissed and you avoided me like the plague after that you just wanted nothing to do with me.” Tobin admitted, her gaze falling down to her hands where she anxiously twisted at her rings.

Then, much to Tobins surprise, Y/N laughed. It wasn’t her normal laugh, the full bellied cackle that the team had gotten so used to hearing echo across the pitch, nor was it her interview laugh, the kind that held an air of politeness and rang like little silver bells. This laugh was something that could only be described as rueful. 

“I could never be disgusted by you.” It was Tobin’s turn to now look at Y/N in confusion, and if Y/N wasn’t so close to tears she probably would’ve laughed at the way Tobs tilted her head like a little puppy. Tobin though, was deeply perplexed. She reasoned with herself that perhaps she hadn’t heard her right, as the other woman’s voice had once again become just the shadow of a whisper.

“What?” Another rueful chuckle came from Y/N now as she finally removed her eyes from the floor and looked up into Tobin’s, stripping back any boundary of emotion left standing between the two.

“I said that I could never be disgusted with you. Maybe with myself, but never with you.” Tobin’s confusion softened, whether it was her words or their closeness, she couldn’t be sure.

“But, you’ve been avoiding me ever since… wait, disgusted with yourself?” The corner of Y/N’s lips ticked up ever so slightly, finding herself somewhat amused that Tobin would think that her avoidance was at all her fault.

“I have been, and I’m sorry for that. It wasn’t your fault, the avoidance I mean, that was on me because honestly I was disgusted with myself and everything I was feeling, I guess?” The admittance came out rather sloppily, Y/N’s words hardly stitching themselves together into coherent sentences. 

“Feelings?” Tobin’s voice was the soft one now, barely daring to question what she thought she was hearing. 

“Yeah, feelings. I mean, I’m this football golden girl who has always done everything for her love of soccer and now suddenly I can’t even trust myself to be close to my best friend? I think that warrants a little disgust.” Y/N sounded somewhere between defeated and distraught. 

“Why couldn’t you trust yourself to be close to me?” Tobin echoed her friends last sentence, her voice nothing but a low rasp and she took a step away from the wall and further into her friend’s space, eyes full of concern and… something more. 

“Because,” Y/N swallowed harshly as Tobin stepped closer, somehow noting that behind her legs was the end of her bed and that she was practically pinned in her current position. 

“Because I can’t trust myself. I meant what I said in that closet, Tobin. I love everything that football has given to me and I am so thankful for my platform but I am so sick of these expectations.” Tobin was nearly toe to toe with her now and Y/N was holding solid eye contact as she talked, sputtering out her sentences as her breathing turned shallow. 

“I meant what I said too, it’s amazing how you are who you are but…” At this point, the two were close enough now that their bodies were nearly pressed together and Y/N could hardly keep her knees from giving out.

“…if you don’t want to follow their expectations,” Tobin’s hands were on Y/N hips now, her thumbs gently brushing over her hipbone as the rest of her fingertips dug gently into her barely covered skin. 

“Don’t.” 

Without another word, Y/N’s hand grasped the front of Tobin’s shirt and pulled her in so harshly that their chests collided and Y/N’s knees gave way, causing both women to collapse to the bed beneath them. Their bodies seamlessly fit together as their lips met for the second time. Unlike the kiss in the closet, this kiss wasn’t based in lust or in need, but in passion. Moving together, the pair continued this kiss until Y/N’s head was spinning, though she wasn’t sure if it was from the forwards touch or the lack of oxygen. Tobin certainly felt it too as she reluctantly pulled away, biting softly on Y/N’s bottom lip before finally letting go, causing a soft whine to come from the girl beneath her.

But in that moment, with Tobin hovering above her with swollen lips and her hazel eyes staring down at her softly, Y/N decided that if loving someone is never worth it when your little miss perfect, that maybe she needed to find a new title. 

Because Tobin Heath? Tobin Heath was worth it.

--

i swear to every god that exists i do not know what drugs i was on when i was writing this but this is so long and such a damn piece of work. hope you liked it and managed to get to the end oops?

[solarwonux]

Baby Doll

college!wonwoo x f!reader x college!minghao

warnings: threesome, un protected sex, some mxm action but like if you squint, oral sex (male receiving), cum eating, dirty talk, use of toys, blindfolds, restraints

note: hello everyone, another re upload for you guys this takes place before Champagne Kisses but you don’t need to read that one to read this one. Enjoy and let me know your thoughts <3

masterlist || drabble game 

Baby, come over…

Wonwoo had texted you during the last hour of your shift. Your impatience getting the best of you causing you to look over at the clock every five minutes. As a result, your evening shift at the library felt eternal, especially because you had neither Wonwoo or Minghao to entertain you or make you laugh.

The semester was ending, which meant it had been three weeks since you felt Wonwoo’s touch against your naïve skin. And two since you messed around with Minghao more than once. The only thing to satisfy your sexual hunger was your shitty shower head and ten out of ten times it had left you unsatisfied.

You knew they were keeping their distance and you could only assume is because of the amount of work load they were getting from their professors. As you were getting nearly the same amount. But a part of you thought it had to do with the fact that Wonwoo had walked in on you and Minghao on their couch in a rather compromising position on a Friday night. He had ignored you, his jaw clenched as he quickly walked towards his room, slamming the door behind him.

His actions had caught you off guard.

When you and Wonwoo’s fucked up relationship started, the two of you agreed to keep it strictly sexual and that sleeping with other people was entirely okay. Hell he had even done it himself more than once with a girl in his literature class. So, the snappy attitude he had started to give you since that day was uncalled for and left you confused. Which is why his text today had excited you because you had started to assume that he wasn’t interested in you anymore.

Every time you looked over at your phone, reading his text slowly. You could feel the excitement bubble up in the pit of your stomach. The suspense of what was to come becoming extremely hard to handle, that you had gone over and begged Joshua to let you leave early for nearly and hour and thirty minutes. He finally caved after promising, swearing on your mother’s last breathe that if he let you leave early you would stop coming in late for your shifts. And he agreed opting to let you out fifteen minutes early. It wasn’t ideal but it was fifteen minutes less of your five-hour shift.

“Joshua I’m leaving now.” You said standing up from the reception desk, grabbing your bag from the underneath cupboard of the table and pushing your chair in.

“Did you clock out, don’t forget to clock out I hate filling out that stupid piece of paper.” He questioned raising an eyebrow, leaning back in his chair.

“Yup, I even double checked this time.” You nodded ruffling his hair playfully sending him a wink. He groaned shaking his head, “I hate when you do that.”

“Deal with it.” You rounded the corner of the reception desk, faster than usual, your grip on your bag getting tighter. “I’ll see you on Monday.”

“See you Monday and please for the love of any higher being out there, don’t be late.”

“Of course don’t want my mother dead.” You nodded sending him finger guns before walking quickly over to the double doors of the university library.

Just got off, I’ll be there soon.

Wonwoo swung his front door open during your third knock. Before you could open your mouth to greet him, he pulled you into his apartment, closing his front door and pining you against it. His knee finding its way in between your legs and crashed his lips against yours. You melted against them, your body molding into his as if the two of you were meant for one another.

You wrapped your arms around his neck pulling his head closer, deepening your kiss. He moved his hands down your ass squeezing it earning a moan from you. He let out a satisfied hum pulling his lips away from yours, giving them one last peck before attaching them onto your neck. Leaving a trail of teasing kisses behind until he found your sweet spot, sucking it harshly.

“Hmm, you miss me?” He mumbled against your skin swiping his tongue over the spot he had just sucked on. “S-So much.” You breathed out threading your hands into his hair, pushing your body against his more.

“Did you miss me too?”

Wonwoo laughed lowly against your skin, panic rushing through your body, pushing him off of you. Your wide eyes found Minghao’s smug one’s while he leaned against the kitchen counter, arms crossed, an eyebrow raised waiting for your answer.

“Answer him baby, don’t keep him waiting.” Wonwoo whispered into your ear, taking your earlobe in between his teeth and tugging it gently. “Don’t break his heart now.” He wrapped his arm around your waist, leading you to Minghao who was now looking at you with a certain kind of ferocity, making you weak.

“He certainly missed you, isn’t that right Hao?” Wonwoo quirked stopping in front of him. He removed his arms standing up straight, keeping his chest against your back. “So much Woo.” He nodded taking his bottom lip in between his teeth. The back of his hand caressing your cheek gently. “Did you miss me doll?” He asked quietly, wrapping his other arm your waist, pulling you close. Wonwoo chuckled pressing himself closer to you, his hands found their way to the kitchen counter, resting them on either side of Minghao’s body, sandwiching you in between them.

“Y-Yes.” You whimpered. Minghao smirked and pulled your face smashing his lips onto yours. You moaned against them while he kissed you slowly and sensually. The difference between his and Wonwoo’s animalistic kiss was other worldly and it sent shivers up your spine. He threaded his fingers into your hair, tugging at your roots, his tongue swiping across your bottom lip begging for access. You sighed opening your mouth, placing your hands on his chest, balling your fist and taking his t-shirt in between them.

Wonwoo snickered as he watched the two of you kiss slowly and sloppily. His hands moving up your body and popping the first bottom of your blouse open. You gasped against Minghao’s mouth pulling away, looking over at Wonwoo. “You want this?” He cocked an eyebrow his fingers playing with the second button of your shirt. Minghao’s thumbs rubbing soothing circles against your clothed hips, grabbing your attention once again and you felt the pool of slick start to build up between your legs.

Maybe it was because you were frustrated both emotionally and sexually and the fact that you hadn’t been able to get yourself off in almost a month clouded your judgement. Because standing between the two of men, feeling their need pressed against your body, you couldn’t help but crave them in every way possible. Your body getting hotter than ever, making it impossible to ignore how badly you wanted them.

“Yes, I want you.” You said starring into Minghao’s lust filled eyes. “Both of you.” You affirmed looking over at Wonwoo.

“Is this really necessary?”

Wonwoo hummed in approval while he finished tying up your wrist together in front of you. He tugged at the baby pink silks making sure they weren’t on too tight. He nodded giving your cheek a kiss before sitting back in his desk chair again. “Yes, you need to learn how to keep your hands to yourself.” Minghao said walking into Wonwoo’s room, your eyes growing wide as you saw the assortment of toys he was holding in his arms. He dropped them onto the bed, moving and situating himself behind you. He extended his arms in front of you showing you the blindfold he was holding.

“Okay, I understand tying up my hands.” Wonwoo smirked as you showed them his handy work. “But is a blind fold really necessary.” You cocked your head to the side to face Minghao, feeling his hand run over the side of your body gently. Wonwoo’s hand found its way up to your chin and turned your face slowly, concern written all over his face, making your heart flutter. “If you don’t want it, we don’t have to put it on you.” He reassured, his knuckles brushing over your cheek. You turned around to look at Minghao, his face showing the same emotions as Wonwoo’s and you melted.

“Put it on me.”

The buzzing of the vibrator made your ears perk up, a desperate whimper falling out of your lips as you felt the silicon head against your mound. The two of them had been teasing you for what felt like centuries, edging you on. Their wandering hands leaving imprints against your body making you desperate and craving your release.

“P-Please.” You whined trying your best to push away the toy with your tied hands. “Please what baby girl?” Wonwoo whispered kissing the shell of your ear, “Tell us what you want?”

“Let me cum, p-please let me cum.” You arched your back feeling the vibrations ghost up your chest. The head of the toy circling over one of your breasts. You arched your back as one of their hot mouths took in your nipple, their tongue toying with it before letting it go with a sultry pop. “As you wish honey.” Minghao snickered, your body growing cold as you felt the vibrations disappear from your body. You panted, wishing you could see their reactions, wishing you could touch them, please them the same way they were pleasing you, but you were at odds end. Succumbed to their torture.

The buzzing started up again, your body growing frigid as you waited in anticipation to see what they would do next. Your back arching against Wonwoo’s chest when you felt the toy against your swollen clit. Delicious pleasure waves traveling up your body, Wonwoo’s cold palm against your stomach, his mouth leaving open mouthed kisses against your neck, mumbling sweet praises into your skin. “Woo, take her blind fold off.” Minghao groaned his index finger running up your slit, collecting your arousal before inserting it into your heat. “So fucking wet,” He moaned feeling your heat engulf his cold digit.

Wonwoo moved a hand up your body, snaking it behind you and untied your blindfold. It fell down your body. The coldness of the silk making you shudder as you blinked rapidly trying to regain your vision. “Look at me when you cum.” Minghao thrusted another finger into you, your hips bucking against his hand as Wonwoo pressed the vibrator onto your clit turning up the vibrations even more. You felt yourself grow weak, the coil forming once again in the pit of your stomach, hoping they would let you cum. A Soft cry of pleasure falling out of your lips and you tried your hardest to keep your eyes open and on Minghao’s.

“You close baby?”

“Y-Ye-fuck.” You moaned coming undone underneath their touch. Your body convulsing as your orgasm ran through your body, your release flowing down your thighs. Minghao moaned his fingers getting faster as he helped you ride out your orgasm. A broken whine falling out of your mouth, pleading him to stop, the overstimulation getting too much for your body.

Wonwoo kissed your cheek and turned off the vibrator, throwing it off to the side. “Good girl, look you squirted all over Minghao.” He teased. You could tell he was satisfied by the tone of his voice. Your chest rose trying to catch your breath to calm yourself down from the mind blowing orgasm they had pulled from you.

“That was the sexiest thing I’ve ever witnessed.” Minghao sat up taking out his fingers from your heat. You watched as he eyed his glistening digits before leaning over your body. You followed his movements curiously, your eyes growing wide when he tapped then against Wonwoo’s lips. “Clean.” Wonwoo opened his mouth, wrapping his lips around Minghao’s dirty fingers. A sinful moan sounding in the back of his throat as he swirled his tongue over his digits, cleaning them. You felt yourself grow wet again as you took in the sexiest thing ever. You whined bringing your tied hands up to Minghao’s naked torso. “Want to keep playing baby?” He questioned taking his fingers out Wonwoo’s mouth, moving them down your body, painting a masterpiece against it using Wonwoo’s saliva.

“What’s the matter angel,” Wonwoo’s grip on you got tighter maneuvering you so you were sitting up against his chest. “Cat got your tongue?”

He retreated one of your hands from your sweaty body placing it against Minghao’s cheek and forcefully bringing it down to his face. Wonwoo looked at you and winked before crashing his lips against his. “God.” You moaned watching as they devoured one another, the lure sounds coming out of their mouths going straight to your heat and you were positive if they continued you would’ve come undone, untouched.

Minghao was the one to pull away, running his tongue over his bottom lip. “You taste divine baby doll.” He winked wrapping his arms around your waist pulling you away from Wonwoo, making the man behind you groan in annoyance. Minghao rolled his eyes cradling your face gently, wiping the drying tears of them. “Can you keep going?”

“Mhm, want more…please.”

Wonwoo stood behind you, running his cock up and down your slit teasing you. You whimpered pushing your self against him, one of his hands coming down against one of your butt cheeks. The sound ricocheting of the his dark blue walls. “Fuck Wonwoo, f-fuck me please” You moaned.

“Baby doll you’re so fucking needy today.” He moaned finally pushing himself in. He threw his head back moaning, feeling your warmth wrap around him, snugging him in deliciously. “It’s like you’re fucking made for me.” He raised a hand again bringing it down to your other butt cheek. A whimper escaping your lips and you felt your arms give out beneath you.

Minghao chuckled, his cock in his hand guiding it up to your lips, without hesitating you opened your mouth taking him. “You’re mouth is fucking perfect.” He groaned knotting his fingers into your hair tugging it. “Looks so pretty letting us use you like this.” He breathed out.

“Such a good girl for us.” Wonwoo thrusted into you making you moan around Minghao. His pace starting out slow. The sensation overwhelming your senses as you felt him in the pit of stomach. His fingers dug into the skin of your hips, keeping your in place. Minghao was pushed your head down, the head of his cock hitting the back of your throat. You looked up at him while he stared down at you, eyes hooded with pleasure, his hand massaging your scalp gently.

“You take our cocks so well, if you wanted both of us since the beginning you should’ve told us, we could’ve been doing this more often.” Wonwoo groaned rutting his hips into yours harder and faster. The pleasure coursing through your veins, making it unbearable to contain.

“Look Woo, we’re fucking her stupid.” Minghao smirked thrusting his hips up into your mouth making you gag around his cock. You pulled your head away your saliva connecting your lips to his red angry head. You rested your cheek against Minghao’s thigh, feeling your body grow weak with pleasure, small pleasurable sighs fell out of your lips. He scratched your scalp trying to soothe you. His hand wrapping around his length, moving it against it slowly.

You looked up at him doe eyed as he continued to pleasure himself. Your mouth salivating begging to be fucked by him. “I-In my mouth please.” Minghao nodded, moving himself to give you a better angle and thrusted his cock into your mouth once again. His hips snapping, keeping the same rhythm as Wonwoo’s. You gagged feeling your eyes water, your orgasm building up, anticipating its crash. “Fuck I’m so close.” Wonwoo said throwing his head back one of his hands snaking around your body, between your legs and finding your clit. He rubbed you harshly, making you moan around Minghao, giving both of them the motivation to go faster and help you reach your high as well as their’s.

Minghao pulled himself out of your mouth. His thumb snaking into your mouth and keeping it open as jerked himself off in front of you. The tip of his cock resting against your pink tongue. The sight alone was enough and you came undone around Wonwoo. Your orgasm crashing down forcefully as you shook with pleasure once again.

“So fucking beautiful.” Wonwoo groaned continuing to ram his hips into yours, helping you ride out your orgasm before pulling himself out of you. You whined missing the fullness of having him inside you. He wrapped his hand around swollen cock, tugging it fast against your body.

Both of them moaning out praises to you and one another as they continued jerking themselves off in front of you. Wonwoo was the first one to cum, ropes of his milky cum landing on your hip. You grinned collecting some of it on your finger before bringing it up to your lips, savoring his bittersweet sticky substance. “T-Taste’s so good Woo.”

“Good girl now open your mouth for Hao baby.”

You obliged sticking your tongue out to him, feeling his head against it once again. Minghao came undone moaning out your name as if it were his favorite song. Some of his cum landing inside your mouth the rest falling down your chest and onto your chest. You swallowed some of it before leaning up on your elbows, reaching over to Wonwoo, hooking your tied arms around his neck and crashing his lips onto his. You opened your mouth letting him explore your cum filled one forcing him to taste Minghao’s cum. You moaned against his lips as he let out a sound of approval before pulling away. The wave of exhaustion overflowing your body and you laid down, panting, your heart beating out of your chest. The two of them sharing a knowing look as they panted trying to regulate their breathing as well.

“That was fun.” You giggled crossing your legs in front of you. Minghao shook his head before standing up. “So naughty.” He tsked walking out of Wonwoo’s room.

“He’s right, I knew you were a minx, but I didn’t think it was to this extent.” Wonwoo chuckled laying down next to you. He pushed your hair back gently, placing a loving kiss against your forehead. “We weren’t too hard on you right?” He whispered his warm eyes looking for any indication that he or they had gone too far.

“Nothing I can’t handle.” You assured giving him the smile he loved most in the in this world. “Can I ask you for a favor?” You said sweetly, batting your eyelashes at him. He nodded, feeling his fingers going up and down your body slowly. You raised your tied hands, so they were at eye level with him giving him the most innocent look before opening your mouth to speak. “Untie me please.”

“Of course, baby doll.” He sat up bringing you along with him. His fingers working diligently to untie the knots he had made earlier.

Minghao walked back into the room sweatpants hanging low on his hips, his chest wet with sweat. He sat down at the foot of the bed, leaning over and placing a gentle kiss against your cheek. “Bath’s almost ready, think you can make it over there.”

“Not really,” You leaned your head against his shoulder “Done.” Wonwoo mumbled bring your wrists up to his lips kissing them gently. Your insides feeling all gooey and the ringing your orgasm had left behind was still very prominent in your ears but for the first time in a long you felt like calm.

“It’s okay princess we’re here for you…always.”

[tigerseye46]

Red Sand/Shark AU

So this is an au where Sha Wujing is the one who retired and Red is his successor.

I had a lot of amazing help from my anons and others for this au and I just want to thank them for that! You all made the au 100% more awesome! So here’s the au (re-uploaded cause it wouldn’t appear on my dash):

Sha Wujing: Sha Wujing takes Wukong’s place as the teacher and retired hero of this au and is the mentor of Red Son, albeit a reluctant mentor. Sha Wujing, unlike his canon counterpart, has not calmed down and is still rage-filled due to isolating himself for centuries. He has isolated himself due to Tripitaka’s death at the hands of a demon which he believes he, Bajie and Wukong could have prevented even though the other two were nowhere near at the time. He has a strained relationship with them because of this belief. Due to the monk’s death, he started picking fights in the mortal realm with any demon and sometimes human he could. The other three tried to stop him at multiple points but he wouldn’t listen and they had no choice but to give up. Eventually he came to the conclusion that this isn’t what Tripitaka would want and decided to pick one last fight to seal the Spider Queen before retiring.

He has rarely spoken to anyone else in centuries, he is extremely closed off to people. and has a lot of rage pent up. He lives on a mountain around the city that has a small house on his mountain and it has a river. He has the basics, oven, microwave, fridge, he also has a tv. Although he doesn’t use the television as much and considers it good background noise while he’s cooking or training. He absolutely despises it when any trace of his past adventures come onto the screen due to the events that have happened. He has a bunch of training equipment around that he uses to at least better manage his rage. He also builds inventions similar to his counterpart and it is something he and Red have in common. He does love tea and cats in this au but doesn’t own any cats in the beginning. He keeps a shrine of Tripitaka in his home and talks to it at certain points, he also has Tripitaka’s old staff.

Fun fact, he didn’t even want a successor and the only reason Red became his successor is because Guanyin appeared to him a couple years before the au and told him that trouble was brewing. She knows he gave up fighting so she proposes that he find a successor and she knows the perfect candidate, Red. After watching him for a bit, he agreed with her and waited for something to happen but wasn't exactly happy at the thought of having to train someone since it meant having prolonged social interaction, especially someone that almost killed his brother even if he isn’t Wukong’s biggest fan by that point. He is rather grumpy while training Red and they clash at certain points but they do have a respect for each other. He is more blunt and honest here.

Red: Red Son is the successor of Sha Wujing and formerly the disciple of Guanyin who after noticing how far he had come decided to let him go to the city to meet new people. He arrives at the city 2-5 years before the events of the au start and keeps a human form. While they still have somewhat of a temper, it is nowhere as bad as canon. They were initially confused by the city as due to being under Guanyin’s teaching, they weren’t as exposed to technology. It wasn’t until they met Mei who showed them the ropes that they finally got the hang of things. They build inventions like their counterpart but aren’t as skilled as canon Red since they’ve only been doing this for five years tops.

Mei actually gave her a place in the beginning since they didn’t have anywhere to go since they were still new. Red refused at first but gradually gave into Mei’s persistence. They were roommates for a while while the demon figured out where they could work. They noticed Mei’s struggle with her parents and encouraged her to be open about it, resulting in her becoming happier as a person and embracing her dragon heritage. Mei introduced them to Tang and got taken in by the human. Tang gave Red a place at his shop, although he works more at the cover business since he wants some sense of normalcy but he does do things like stock supplies for the magic side sometimes.

He hasn’t told anyone who his parents are nor has he found them again and prefers to keep a low profile. He also keeps the fact that he’s a demon a secret along with his fire powers. The fire powers only show up when he’s overcome with rage but since they aren’t as rage filled as their canon counterpart, that is rare. He isn’t exactly thrilled to be someone’s successor since it meant giving up his normal life but does it to further atone for his actions.

Mei/Long Xiaojiao: Xiaojiao remains here as the descendant of the Dragon of the West and is Red’s best friend. She found Red Son wandering the city one day and allowed him to stay with them until they found a place to work so Red has actually been inside her house before. Throughout his stay, she accidentally vented about her troubles with her parents which Red helped her with and because of that, she is less insecure about her place as descendant of the Dragon of the West. From that point forth, she was more open about her problems. She also obtained the dragon blade relatively early thanks to Red and her parents’ urging.

She, like Red, works for Tang but at his magic business and spends time being Tang’s assistant. Her job is to sometimes collect ingredients and deliver if the client asks. She is more reckless here due to having the dragon blade for years and because of the amount of demons she faced. She is slightly more protective here because of Red since she thinks he doesn’t know how to expertly fight as he hasn’t revealed who he is to her yet.

MK/Qi Xiaotian: Xiaotian is the biological son of Syntax and the only human of the Spider group. After the incident when he was around 12 that resulted in his dad becoming a spider, his life was completely changed and they were taken in by Huntsman and Goliath. Learning of their plan to free the Spider Queen, Syntax offered to help, knowing from Goliath that she would protect his son. They raised him where he turned into a mix of all of them. Since he is Syntax’s son, his father made sure he got the best education and taught him many things because of this, he knows a lot about tech and sometimes uses technology based insults like his dad, the other insults he uses are the more crass ones because of Huntsman. While he knows a lot about tech, he’s bad at practical applications and ends up setting things on fire.

They know how to hunt because of Huntsman and spar with him regularly in an effort to get strong to protect their family. Since they’re the only human, they feel the need to prove themself to the Spider Queen who doesn’t really give them a thought in the beginning as she’s more concerned with returning the spider demons to their former glory. The issue of him as the only human has caused somewhat of a disconnect between him and his father.

He is rather cocky and reckless here because of Huntsman and Syntax who both have massive egos, something that was passed down to him. Although deep down he is a sweetheart thanks to Goliath. He uses the tech insults to insult his rival, Red Son and makes fun of him on a daily basis which is great because Red only slightly knows what those mean. He is still an artist here and was encouraged by his father to pursue his passion, he is also still a slight Monkey King fan because of stories he heard when he was little. While he makes fun of Huntsman for wanting to date his dad, he does want to be able to call him his stepdad one day. He has a staff given to him by his dad when he was around 15 that contains some cool things.

Sun Wukong: takes Tang’s place kinda. Actor and scholar. Sun Wukong in this au is the owner of a theatre that for the most part does JTTW plays, he is also an actor and scholar. He spent about 300-400 years in retirement before finally deciding to enter the world again and do something. He has a rivalry with Macaque since both are scholars and always have academic arguments. He remains king of Flower Fruit Mountain but mainly lives in the city now. He maintains a human form to not attract attention from demons.

Before owning the theatre, he was a big name actor (well still is) that did mostly Monkey King related stuff to honor his past adventures and family. He even directed, starred and wrote stuff for his own movies and tv shows, something he does for the theatre now. He also produced some video games. He used to bring his monkeys on the set sometimes and does that now for his theatre, people have no idea where the monkeys come from. Some joke that he’s gotten really into his role and there are those that call him the “Monkey Actor.”

He carries a good amount of guilt over Tripitaka’s death especially after what Wujing said to him and believes he doesn’t really deserve to be called a hero. He also feels bad that he couldn’t help Wujing and that the incident resulted in the demon closing off. He hides all of this under a confident attitude. He hardly uses his staff anymore but still has it. He’s had off/on contact with Zhu Bajie over the years and misses him and the rest of his family deeply. When they meet up around the time the series starts, the pig informs him that he’s found Wujing but they don’t go talk to him since they know the other doesn’t want them around. Instead, the two hang out again with Wukong absolutely dreading the idea that they’ll lose contact again. Bajie actually introduces him to the kids he sometimes babysits and they eventually begin calling Wukong “yéyé.” He met Tang when he heard a rumor about his magic business and decided to check it out, he stuck around even after finding out the human was harmless because he met Red again, he hasn’t told Red or Tang who he is.

Tang: Tang is surprise, surprise, Tripitaka’s reincarnation. He does get dreams sometimes but he writes them off as fantasies. Compared to his counterpart, he is a lot tougher than his normal counterpart and actually fights. He runs two shops with one that is a secret magic shop (mostly temporary enhancements and minor spells), he’s proficient in both hand to hand combat and magic.

He is slightly more serious in this due to running a business now but not as serious as Pigsy would be. His nerdiness is toned down here but still present. In fact when Red is working, Tang likes to bring up different stories from the past despite the fact that Red knows them already. He gave Red the apartment above the shop and has no idea that the kid he adopted is actually a demon. He is rather annoyed and angry at the fact that Red was chosen by Sha Wujing to be his successor even though he is partially a fan of the demon and totally doesn’t have a celebrity crush on him. While he isn’t aware of everything Red has gone through, he is aware that the kid has had a rough life and wants to protect him.

Zhu Bajie/Pigsy: Zhu Bajie, after years of loneliness, came out of hiding and wandered the mortal world as he needed something to occupy his time. He’s had off/on contact with Wukong throughout the years. Eventually he settled into the city where he’s known as a beloved and involved member of a small part of it. He is seen as an ‘uncle/grandpa figure’ there and is sometimes asked to watch over the kids. The kids absolutely adore him and he in turn adores them. He takes them out a lot to places and spoils the heck out of them. He actually met Wukong again when he took the kids out to see the plays at Wukong’s theatre and enjoys taking them there because he gets to see the king, he’s become a huge fan. He memorized the surrounding mountain range there and partially chose the city as there is a path that leads to Wujing, he hasn’t told Wujing he’s tracked him down. He’s just kept tabs on him, mildly happy with that since he knows his brother doesn’t want to see him.

While he retains his snarkiness here, his temper isn’t as bad here due to not being business focused since he doesn’t own one. He retains his parental instincts here since he’s a grandpa now. He has grown a lot since the JTTW days and is proud of this fact. He is on the more reasonable side of things between Wujing who is unnecessarily angry and Wukong who believes he doesn’t have the right to be considered a hero.

Macaque: Macaque in this au is retired from fighting and does not have much of a grudge against Wukong as he does in canon. Although they do have a rivalry as fellow scholars and constantly complain about each other’s theses suck. They are usually one debate away from fighting each other in the parking lot of Wukong’s theatre.

Demon Bull King: Demon Bull King takes Macaque’s spot as the one who trains and plans to take Red’s powers. After their son became Guanyin’s disciple, the two were extremely worried about their child and held resentment for Sun Wukong and his gang that continued long after the gang defeated him. Princess Iron Fan and him had a falling out that resulted in them parting ways (although still married) but they still love each other very much. DBK heard rumors floating around about someone that had become Sha Wujing’s successor and that someone matched his son’s description. Angered over the fact that his son was forced to become someone’s successor, he found a spell that would take his powers. He crafted a plan to lure his son out to do so so his son could be relieved of that pressure along with protecting him and so he could use that power to take revenge on those around them.

Princess Iron Fan: Princess Iron Fan is the main villain of the Red Sand/Shark au. Due to the loss of her son and the fall out with her husband, Princess Iron Fan has become rather desperate to get her family back and she’ll do it by any means necessary. She has kept herself hidden for years, plotting ways to bring her family together. Once she found out that Red Son became Sha Wujing’s successor, it caused her to lash out as her son was within reach but forced to be what she considered a weapon, a pawn. She took advantage of the blood oath she made, promising the twins that if they joined her, she would make people cower before them. She used them to attack on New Years in the hopes of grabbing her son and taking over the world. While that might have failed, she has other tricks up her sleeve and will make Red join her, no matter what.

Spider Queen: Spider Queen once led a powerful army that threatened to disrupt the mortal realm. She was feared by mortals and respected and loved by her subjects. This ended when she faced Sha Wujing and was actually the last demon Sha Wujing fought before he retired. He decided to seal her, citing her as a danger. Due to her containment, the various spider clans started declining as their royal line had been deposed of. Things have become desperate and it is believed that the Spider Boys are part of the last generation before they are wiped out entirely, although there may be more out there. They have decided to free the Spider Queen as her era was the last time the spiders were prosperous and believe she is the key to saving their future.

Goliath (Strong Spider): Goliath remains a total sweetheart in this au and is one of the reasons Xiaotian contains sweet qualities. He is completely supportive and encouraging of Syntax and Huntsman’s feelings for each other and wishes they would just admit it. He bakes in his spare time and gets help from Xiaotian. He is also the other’s confidant and manages to keep secrets relatively well. He does suggest that they speak about these issues but doesn’t push them.

Huntsman: Huntsman is the same here but has a more fatherly side to him as he’s helped Syntax raise MK and has actually developed feelings for the nerd spider. He taught Xiaotian to be an excellent hunter and spars with him on a regular basis. He cheers the kid on during fights unless he has to do something like go save him for a reckless endeavor. He doesn’t admit how much the kid and the others mean to him often but will slip up and admit it. He and Syntax have snarky banter with each other and have a trusting relationship that neither acknowledges.

Syntax: Syntax is the biological and single father of Xiaotian. He was a relatively hardworking and great father that taught Xiaotian to make different things, gave him the best education he could and encouraged him in art endeavors. He was turned into a spider by a horrific lab accident when his son was around twelve. Resentment, horror and terror piled up in him because of that incident. He had absolutely no idea what to do, he was a human turned spider all because of what happened, there is a possibility that no one was going to treat him the same after this, people would assume he had malicious intent and might try to separate him from his son. After that, he spent a good portion trying to return himself back to normal but no matter what he did he could not. Afraid for the safety of him and his son, Syntax began to research the spiders, learning they were almost gone but there may be some out there. He took Xiaotian with him where they bumped into Huntsman and Goliath who were trying to find ways to bring the Spider Queen back. He joined them as Goliath had assured the queen would offer them protection. Along the way, he had come to see them less as allies and more as family, not that he would admit it. He began falling in love with Huntsman after getting to know him for years and seeing deeper sides of him. When Xiaotian was around 15, he crafted a sci fi tech staff for his son which contains some tricks and traps, including a GPS that can be used for when his son is in trouble.

Yin and Jin: Yin and Jin take Spider Queen’s place here. They trapped Red in the calabash just like they did with canon MK and after that incident, they continued popping up with a variety of plans, most that have failed. Red eventually stopped taking them seriously and treated them more as nuisances than real threats. In an effort to be taken more seriously they created a partnership between them and PIF. They shook with excitement at New Years when they began to topple people around them, this died down when the plan didn’t work but they continued to listen to PIF’s instructions, little do they know she’s just using them to get her son back.

White Bone Spirit and Mayor: These two are nowhere near as dangerous as they are in canon and actually replace Yin and Jin as the comic relief although the Mayor is still slightly creepy. WBS probably has a much older host or has shapeshifted to give herself a human form. She tries to get revenge for her defeat at the hands of Sun Wukong and since Red is the closest thing she messes with him instead. She believes she is a powerful antagonist but is more of the average shape-shifting demon and the Mayor serves as her minion. They come up with schemes similar to Yin and Jin but unlike Yin and Jin don’t ever come up with a way to be taken more seriously.

[sestra-inestro]

Part of the Team (1/?)

Miniseries for @mushyjellybeans writing challenge. Hope you enjoy it!

Prompt: “We wouldn’t be having this conversation if you had just listened to me!”

Pairings: fem!reader x Natasha Romanoff

Summary: Reader is part of a private investigation that is kept secret from the Avengers. Instead, they believe she took a bribe. Isolated for two years as the investigation comes to an end, reader is awarded a Medal of Honor and the team realises their mistake, but it might just be too late.

Warnings: Angst, violence, isolation and harsh treatment. Re-uploading because I don’t know what tumblr did to the original one.

Series Masterlist

You stood in the small room you had been moved to in your moment of exile. The team hadn’t shown up to the award ceremony, much expected. They had been bitter towards you for a whole two years now, you didn’t expect them to suddenly change their minds.

The empty shelves and the and the stripped bare bed showed no signs of you living inside anymore.

You clutched the medal you had been granted in your hand, the cold of the metal screaming at you that you had done the right thing and that they were wrong, but now you felt lonely as ever.

What had turned into you witnessing an event with an undercover agent, had looked to the team like you were accepting a bribe and turning a blind eye. Since then you were stuck in an investigation that had to stay secret from the team, so you had to take their nastiness in the chin. The worst was when Nat broke up with you. The disgust on her face when she saw you turn away from that agent in the middle of a fight had stained your memory.

Now that was the only look she gave you when she acknowledged you.

But your secrecy was to keep the team safe. It was for the best.

~

Fury had forced you to keep your mouth shut. Reading the file on the agent had given you some insight into what exactly was being investigated and now you were hyper-aware.

Walking into the common kitchen, eyes followed you.

“He didn’t kick you off?” Tony asked incredulously.

You looked to him and took in the looks you were being given.

“No, only a warning.” You said lowly as you opened the fridge.

Clint scoffed at your answer. “If I had my way, you’d be off and shipped right now.”

“But you don’t.” Steve butted in. He disapproved and was cold, but he didn’t act out like the rest. “So we just had to soldier on and make the best of the situation.”

You looked down at his words. Great, now you were a situation.

You snatched water from the fridge and quickly made your way out of the room, they watched you exit with shame.

You wanted to tell Natasha. You had to.

Making your way up to her room, you racked your brain of ways to deal with this whole situation. As soon as you got to her door, it swung open.

Her eyes looked at you with disgust and disbelief.

“What do you want?” Venom laced her voice.

“I need to talk to you.” You tried to sound like you weren’t begging.

“There’s nothing for us to talk about.”

“Yes, there is Natasha. Please just listen to me-“ You begged but she cut you off.

“No! I don’t want to listen to you.” She raised her voice to yell at you. “I can’t believe you would do something like that.”

“It’s not what you think Nat!”

“I watched you shake his hand and let him go, June! You can’t tell me that you didn’t let the enemy go and screwed up our whole mission.” You could, in fact, tell her that. But it was going to be hard.

“You disgust me.” Her words cut you deeply. The look in her eyes salted your wounds.

“Nat...” You tried.

“No. This,” She gestured between you and herself. “Whatever we had is over.”

~

Their resentment wasn’t the worst of it. They destroyed you in training, and eventually, you stopped training with them together. They had turned into a team of bullies, you thought it was childish, but you couldn’t blame them because of the unknown.

~

You had been trying to be nice to every member in the building. Going out of your way to getting stuff, smiling if they looked in your direction, helping them if they struggled or just trying to start a conversation. But nothing was working.

Walking down the corridor of the tower you had your nose buried into the StarkPad in your hands. Hearing another set of footsteps, you looked up to see a sweaty Bucky coming but from the gym. Making eye contact you pulled your lips into the sweetest smile you could muster, he was never one to be bluntly rude to someone since joining the team. But as you kept your smile and got closer to him, he passed you with a glare and a hard thump of the shoulder, causing you to grunt, stagger and drop the StarkPad. Steadying yourself, you looked down at the broken device. Great, another reason for Stark to hate you. You looked back at Bucky as he walked away from you, not a second glance in your direction. That was when you really started to feel unwanted and disconnected.

-

The training was the worst. They either excluded you altogether or targeted you. Each blow they gave, you took with pride. One day they would know the truth and everything would be okay.

“June, you’re up.” Steve’s voice picked your attention away from the exercise you were doing. Seeing Natasha on the sparring mat, sweaty and flustered gave you a wave of anxiety.

“June, let’s go!” Steve hurried you.

You left your stuff at that end of the room and you slowly made your way to where Nat was standing and waiting.

You were good at hand-to-hand combat, but you definitely weren’t the best. You did better with weapons and guns. There was no way you could beat anyone on the hand during a sparring session. Especially Nat.

You eyed her carefully as she watched your approach.

“What? Think you’re too good to train with the rest of us now?”

You didn’t answer her back. You stepped onto the mat and got into position. Hopefully, this would be quick.

“Go easy and be fair,” Steve warned both of you before stepping off the mat.

Nat gave no time for Steve to say go before she lunged at you. She was a blur before your eyes but you managed to dodge her. Stumbling back a bit, she took that chance to swipe your legs out from under you. You hit the mat with a grunt and a clap sounded through the gym.

Nat stepped back to her place at the mat and you groaned as you lifted yourself up. Steve watched you as you repositioned yourself.

You were starting to regret training with them, but you had to show them that you weren’t going to let them down anymore.

Nat huffed as she watched you get into a defensive stance and rolled her eyes. You had gotten used to that reaction from her, but it still hurt.

“Alright, go again.” Steve said.

He clapped again and this time, she didn’t lunge. She kept her glare trained on you as she shuffled towards you on her toes.

She took a jab at your face and you deflected but as you did, she went for your ribs, which you weren’t fast enough to dodge. While it caused you to struggle as you crunched forward and groaned, Nat kicked back one of your legs and wrapped her arm around yours. She pushed you to the mat face down her arm pulling yours back between your shoulder blades, you straining against her grip.

“Nat,” You struggled in the position she had you in. One sudden movement and your elbow was done for.

“Tap out.” She spat.

Fuck this, this was not worth it. You twisted your arm and flipped yourself up, causing her to roll backward. You felt a burn run up your arm as your muscles strained at the odd movement but you fought against it.

Expecting her to lunge at you, you lifted your arms in defense to suddenly feel a sharp piercing pain in your upper arm. Yelping out, you jumped back and away from her. Your yelp was followed by a silence throughout the gym as you looked down at your arm to see a tiny knife had been lodged into you.

Blood slowly started to seep through the wound and a tiny drop of blood trailed down your arm.

Shakily, your hand grasped the handle of the knife and you gently pull it out of your arm. You look back in at Nat with shaky breaths. She looked uncertain like she was deciding if she regretted throwing her knife at you, or if you were going to throw it back at her.

You understood now. They hated you. The hint was finally taken. She actually threw her knife at you, made you bleed.

You looked around the gym to see the same look on the rest of the teams’ faces.

“That’s enough.” Fury’s voice came from the entrance of the gym. “June.” He called to you.

Staring into Nat’s eyes, you dropped the knife to the floor where you stood. You turned, walking to where you had left your stuff, gathered it in your arms and headed out of the gym, Fury stepping aside to let you out before following you.

That was the last time you trained with them or spoke to them.

-

“You’re leaving?” Nat’s voice pulled you from your memories. You turned to the door, seeing her standing just inside the doorway.

“Yes.” Your reply was short.

Nat took a deep breath. She had only just received a notification of the award ceremony and missed it by an hour.

“You don’t have to go.” Her voice was small like she didn’t want to crack the calm exterior you were putting on.

“I handed in my resignation letter two weeks ago.” You say to her, turning back to the medal that sat in your hand. “I’ll be out of your hair in no time.”

Nat sighed. “June, please.” She stepped forward to you. A couple of years ago, the roles were reversed. “We didn’t know.”

“But you would have.” You turned to completely face her. “I tried to tell you the minute Fury finished telling me. But you wouldn’t listen, you just slammed the door in my face.”

Nat looked at you with sad eyes. Her chest caved in with the heavy guilt as she watched you. “For years the whole team has treated me like shit. You had no lesser part in that. I tried my hardest. In fact, we wouldn’t be having this conversation if you had just listened.”

“I’m sorry.” Nat’s voice was almost a whisper.

“Yeah,” You tossed the metal onto the bed. “I’m sorry too.”

You reached for your bag and pushed passed her. She watched as you walked away from her, all the harsh memories of the past two years flooding her brain and the pain in her chest expanded with every step you took.

~

You packed up your stuff into your car and made a rest stop at the bar. Sitting solemnly at the bar all by yourself with a bourbon in your hand.

This is where you were meant to celebrate with people after the ceremony. But you chose to come later when you expected no one to be there and you were right. No one you knew had shown their face and you were glad in a way. Though, you had never felt more lonely.

“Congratulations.” Fury’s voice came from beside you as he took a seat.

Without looking at him, you have a quick upturn of your lips before it was gone again. “Thanks.” You said, looking down at your drink.

“I know that this doesn’t feel like a whole lot, but you save a lot of people and helped in a major investigation that you weren’t even meant to be a part of.” He nudged your shoulder with his. “You did good. You deserve that medal.”

You didn’t know how to respond to him. You knew that this how the situation would turn the team against you. You just didn’t count on them being as mean as they were. You couldn’t blame them, but you would never feel truly a part of the team again. And the medal didn’t make it feel worth it.

“I’m not forcing you to stay, I could never. All I am saying is that they will understand now, and you will always be welcome back.” He finished his talk and got up from his seat, fishing through his pocket for some cash and placing it in front of you. “Free drinks for the hero.” Fury patter your shoulder before leaving you to your thoughts.

Tears sprang to your eyes as the emotions swirled in your chest. Hero. If you were a hero now, then why didn’t you feel like one? After two whole years, you now felt the bitterness. Bitterness towards the team, towards the investigation, towards that stupid undercover agent who was dumb enough to get himself caught and forced to reveal himself, and towards the medal that burned in your hand the first time you touched it and you were glad you’d left it behind.

“Fuck this.” You mumbled. You downed the rest of your drink and set the glass down. Getting up from your seat at the bar you made your way and fished in your pocket for your keys. You were done with this place and wanted to move on.

As if more things could hold you back, when you pushed open the bar door, you came face-to-face with the rest of the team. They were making their way into the bar to congratulate you. Steve and Bucky held bouquets of flowers and Tony and Wanda held what seemed to be gift bags.

You took their image in, a lump in your throat forming again and tears made their way to your eyes.

“We heard that you were leaving?” Tony asked you.

“You heard right.” You cleared your throat. “Please don’t try to convince me otherwise, this is already hard enough.”

“We’re sorry.” Steve said, his eyes sad.

“I know.” You looked down to the ground. “But it doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Of course it matters, June.” Clint said sternly. “We didn’t know anything but-“

“So let it be then! It’s not your guys’ fault that you didn’t know.” You cut him off and raised your voice. “This was all just a big misunderstanding and nothing can change that.”

The team fell silent. You didn’t want their apologies, you hated the fact that they had to give them to you. You knew it was cowardly but you just wanted to run away.

A crack of thunder rose in the sky and lightning beamed down, signally Thor’s arrival.

Great, you inwardly rolled your eyes.

“June!” The God bellowed cheerfully. “I’ve heard of your success and have come to celebrate in a feast and drinks!” He patted you on the back.

He had been gone for the last two years, of course he wouldn’t know anything about what went down.

Thor’s words were met with silence and tension, which confused him. “I’ve missed something...” He said in a soft voice.

You finally turned to face him and sighed. “Yeah, a bit.”

You glanced back at the team and then back to Thor and gave him the best smile you could. “Thank you, so much. But I’m leaving, I’m being transferred to another agency.”

Thor’s frown deepened as you patted his shoulder and pushed passed him.

You looked over your shoulder to them. “See you around.”

They watched as you climbed into your car and drove out of the bar parking lot. Thor turned to the team and saw the stuff they were holding.

“What has happened?”

[gameofdrarry]

Wizards Hearts Recs: Canon Divergent

Wizards Hearts was a four-month-long Drarry reading fest. Players were given a playing deck of 52 tropes, and were asked to find 52 different fics to read and comment on to fill their decks. To prevent the same few fics from being read, fics were restricted to only being used for the game three times before being considered ineligible for further points. The tropes and submissions list can be found here.

Check out the masterlist of fics for this trope below the cut!

📜 Evitative by Vichan Rated:  Teen Words:  222,452 Tags:  Slytherin Harry Potter, Re-sorting, Dark Arts, Slow Burn, Dark!Harry Summary:  In the summer before his fifth year at Hogwarts, Harry is drawn to a room in Grimmauld Place. Like the Gryffindor he is, he enters the room without fear. The room is a library, and Harry is surprised to find that he’s eager to learn. Then he gets the bad news: he’s been accidentally expelled from Hogwarts, and he needs to be sorted again. Everyone is confident that he’ll go straight back to Gryffindor, but with what he's been learning, Harry’s not so sure. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 The Secondary Task by ProfessorFrankly Rated:  Mature Words:  50842 Tags: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Book 4: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Swearing, Frank discussion of teen sex, No actual teen sex, Canon-Typical Violence, If you've read GoF you know the last bit's where the violence and stuff is, Most of this fic has a "T" rating, Quantum Bang 2020 Summary:  When Harry Potter’s name comes out of the Goblet of Fire, Draco Malfoy decides the Boy-Who-LIved needs a friend, whether he wants one, or not. With his mother’s backing, Draco sets out to make sure Harry knows he has someone in his corner, for now, and if Draco has his way, for always. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Outtake: The Second Task by MickeySLee Rated:  Mature Words:  30824 Tags: Secret Relationship, Book 4: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Hogwarts Fourth Year, Triwizard Tournament, Hostage Situations, Draco Malfoy is a Good Boyfriend, Harry Potter is a Good Boyfriend, Plot Twists, Romance, Fluff, Homosexuality, Homophobia, Good Draco Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy's A+ Parenting, Lucius Malfoy Being an Asshole, weekly updates!, Hogwarts Era, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Bashing, POV Hermione Granger, Hurt/Comfort, Consent is Sexy, Fairy Tale Elements Summary:  Part of the series Outtakes and A Hard Story. Fourth Year. The Triwizard Tournament. The Second Task. What would happen if Dumbledore made a different decision when it was discovered Draco is who Harry would miss most? Instead of covering it up and declaring Ron to be Harry's hostage, Draco is the one at the bottom of the lake. No one could have foreseen how much trouble that caused. You may want to read A Hard Story or Throughout the Twists to Times first. This story is completed and will be uploaded one chapter per week on Sunday. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Parades, Pansy, and fuck I’m too gay for this by false_heteros Rated:  General Words:  2227 Tags: Pride is at the end :), A lot of pureblood bullshit, Loneliness, Draco is Sad, Harry Needs a Hug, Pride, Pride Parades, Modern Era, Sirius Black Lives, Mentions of past child abuse, Cedric Diggory Dies, past homophobia, Gay Harry Potter, Gay Draco Malfoy Summary:  After the war, Draco, who had been staying at home like a fucking hermit till Pansy came along, finally finds out about the LGBTQ+ Community, he dives head first into research and is amazed at what he finds. Harry wanders muggle London once every few days. Blending with the crowd and not feeling different for once. He comes along a group of people with beautiful colours around them. “What are they doing?” ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Closure is a state of mind by Quicksilvermaid Rated:  Explicit Words:  12229 Tags: Morally Grey Draco Malfoy, Inappropriate medical/therapist relationships, Dubious Consent Due To Identity Issues, Lies, Self-Esteem Issues, low key stalking behaviour, Loneliness, Guilt, Therapy, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, taking advantage of a grieving person, Death of a Spouse, Character Death, (not Drarry), Disfigurement, Scars, Brief Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts, Drinking, First Time, Polyjuice Potion, Sex While Using Polyjuice Potion, pensieve sex, Voyeurism, wanking, Concealed Identity, Bittersweet Ending, H/D Hurt!Fest 2020 Summary:  After Harry's husband Charlie is killed, his Mind Healer recommends a Polyjuice therapy company, so Harry can see 'Charlie' again and find closure over his death. Draco, whose life over the last ten years has gone from bad to worse, gets assigned Potter's case. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Harry Potter and the Yuletide Waltz by LakeWitch Rated:  General Words:  3042 Tags: Yule Ball, Dancing, Hogwarts Fourth Year, six years later, Awkwardness, Meddling, Oblivious!Harry, more dancing, Not Canon Compliant - Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Christmas, Holiday Season, Canon Divergence Summary:  At the fourth year Yule Ball, Draco Malfoy asked Harry Potter to dance. Six years later, Harry Potter just might ask him why. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 When It's All Over by Erebeus Rated:  Mature Words:  9292 Tags: Rape/Non-con, Unhealthy Relationships, Self-Hatred, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con (not between main pairing), suicidal/death idolization, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Non-Graphic Violence, Spy Draco Malfoy, Loneliness, H/D Hurt!Fest 2020, Betrayal, Attempted Murder, Brief flashbacks and moments of panic mentioned, non graphic torture, Azkaban (brief), Off screen therapy Summary:  If killing you makes Harry happy, you really don't mind. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Catch 22 by jad Rated:  Explicit Words:  49895 Tags: Romance, Fluff, Humor, Complete, Letter!fic, Sexual Content Summary:  As if NEWTS weren't enough, Dumbledore's gone and had another one of his 'bright ideas.' If all ends well, the Houses will be getting along in no time. Or according to Harry's correspondent, an Apocalypse will be in order. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 (I don't know) what's right and what's real anymore by Ladderofyears Rated:  Mature Words:  2101 Tags: Harry Potter and the half blood prince, canon divergence, no septumsempra, guilty Draco, pov Draco, ghostly Myrtle, attracted Draco, pre-slash, pre-relationship, Harry is a hero Summary:  An alternative sectumsempra scene from Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Kiss by xErised Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  10764 Tags: Hogwarts Era, Light Angst, Mutual Pining, Secret Relationship, Getting Together, Kissing in the Rain Summary:  For the second task of the Triwizard Tournament, it's not Ron that Harry rescues from the Great Lake, but Draco Malfoy. Hogwarts-era. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 It’s Not Christmas (without you) by LittleBozSheep Rated:  Explicit Words:  79213 Tags: Fluff, Family Feels, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Getting Together, Christmas, Slow Burn, Serious Slow Burn, Everyone ships Drarry, Apart from Drarry, Divorced Draco Malfoy, Divorced Harry Potter, Kid Albus, kid scorpius, Everyone makes a camo, side wolfstar, Besides the last chapter it's rated G, Christmas Fluff, 25 Days of Harry and Draco, Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Minor Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Drunkenness, Drunken Shenanigans Summary:  Maybe agreeing to host everyone for Christmas wasn’t Harry’s best idea. Luckily Albus’s best friend’s dad is an events planner who agreed to help, only issue, turns out the dad is Draco Malfoy. Sarcastic and grumpy to everyone but his son. Will Harry managed to catch him and keep Christmas from being a complete disaster? ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Leaves by TheLostLibran Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  1190 Tags: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff without Plot, Healing, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Post-War, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence Summary:  A lot of work goes on underground, invisible to the naked eye. Though it doesn't mean that no development is occuring, the hopes of a huge, fully grown tree standing strong in the near or distant future only start sprouting when the leaves do. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Okay But That’s Hot by Fuschaslime Rated:  Explicit Words:  3640 Tags: Anal Sex, Riding, Dirty Talk, Frottage, Lapdance, Slut Shaming, Established Relationship, Friends With Benefits, Enemies to Lovers, Teasing, Begging, Safe Sane and Consensual, Bets & Wagers, Poker, theyre both over 18, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Banter, Perverted Harry, Slight fluff, Shameless Smut, AU where Lily Potter defeated Voldemort for good, and now everyone at hogwarts is kinda cool with eachother, apart from house tensions, Verbal Humiliation, Kinda Summary:  Draco immediately regrets agreeing to a certain bet made at poker night when he realises he’ll actually have to hold up his end of the deal. Harry is ecstatic. OR Draco Malfoy bets Harry Potter a lapdance. He loses. ❤️ Read on AO3

[songtoyou]

Epiphany - Part Four

Paring: Luke Crain x Female Reader

Chapter Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 3,080

Warnings: Talks of drug use and recovery. Swearing and self-doubt.

Description: Life has never been easy for Luke Crain. After the death of Nell, Luke realizes that he needs to make some changes. He decided to stay in Massachusetts and attend rehab. He was determined to remain on his path of sobriety. When you get assigned to be Luke’s sponsor, it opens a new door of possibilities that neither you nor Luke expected.  

A/N: I am sorry that it has taken me so long to write and upload this chapter. I have not been feeling so good since I posted that last chapter. Lots of anxiety keeping me from doing things such as write. Anyway, here is the new chapter. I wanted to write about Aunt Janet. I felt that the show didn’t really tell us much about her except that she took care of the kids after the events of Hill House in 1992. 

Note: Italics represent the past or past conversations.

Feedback is wonderful. It is nice knowing if people are actually liking this fic.

I do not permit my work to be posted on any other site without my permission.

Tag list: @morningstar09

~Aunt Janet’s House – 2002 ~

“Luke! Hurry up, or you’re going to be late for school!” Aunt Janet yelled up the stairs.

“Luke! Come on!” exclaimed Nellie. “I’ll go check on him.”

“Thanks, sweetie,” said Janet. Her youngest nephew often worried her, especially since it was the tenth anniversary of Olivia’s death this past summer. Janet started to notice that Luke became more recluse and stayed up in his room. The only person Luke would interact with was Nell, which was not surprising to Janet. The twins only managed to become closer as they got older.

What really began to cause Janet to worry was catching Luke steal money from her purse. She asked him what he was doing and why he was stealing. However, Luke could come up with a pretty decent lie about needing money to buy flowers for Olivia’s grave.

In truth, it was to buy beer. Luke had taken a liking to the barley and hops beverage. It helped him feel numb and not worry about anything. Unfortunately, Luke had one too many beers last night and was paying for it. Nellie found him headfirst in the toilet regurgitating the contents of his late-night beer binge.

“Eww, gross. What is wrong with you?” asked Nellie. She pinched her nose as the stench of Luke’s puke was overwhelming.

“What does it look like! I’m sick! Tell Aunt Janet that I can’t go to school.”

“Luke, come on. You have missed too many days already. They’re going to hold you back another year if you miss any more school,” Nellie argued while searching through Luke’s drawers and closet for clothes.

Luke managed to get up from the bathroom floor when he felt it was safe. He rinsed out his mouth to relieve it from the after taste of throw-up.

“Come on! Get cleaned up and put these on,” ordered Nell and shoved Luke’s clothes in his arms.

Luke groaned and plopped down on his bed. “Nellie…I can’t go to school today. I’m too sick.”

“Well, your sickness is also making me sick, but I managed to get up and ready for school today. Now move it! I’ll keep bugging you if you don’t move. I’m not going to let you fall to the waste side. Do you hear me, Luke?”

“Fine! I’m getting dressed!” Luke yelled to get Nellie off of his back.

No matter what occurred between them, neither twin could ever hate the other. They were each other’s best friends and closest confidante. They had to be. Especially now that they were the last two left in Aunt Janet’s care. As soon as their eldest siblings turned eighteen, they hightailed it out of Janet’s house for college.

Luke slowly trudges down the stairs with his backpack slumped on his shoulders.

“Hey, there he is,” greeted Aunt Janet. “Would you like some breakfast, sweetie?”

“No! No breakfast,” Luke replied with his head on the table.

However, Nellie pushed a plate of dry toast in front of him and told him to at least nibble some bites. “Here’s some orange juice. Take slow sips. The last thing we need is you spewing junks in the toilet again,” whispered Nellie while Aunt Janet was in the kitchen. She would not out that her brother was hungover. That last thing Nell wanted was to cause any more trouble for Luke.

She knew why Luke did not want to go to school, and it had to do with, what else, their family. Some of the kids at school saw Luke as an easy target to bully and terrorize. The topic of their “messed-up” family was their go-to whenever they wanted to antagonize Luke. Nell often found herself a target for bullies but could stand up for herself a lot better than Luke.

With the anniversary of Olivia’s death, the bullies made it their mission to torment Luke about growing up without a mother or father. They would push him against the lockers, knocking his glasses off his face, and trip him in the hallways. It was too much to handle, and Luke was tired.

Leaning back in his chair, Luke re-read the words on the computer screen. His instructor loved the essay he turned in and advised him to expand upon it. Luke pushed aside his reservations about exploring his past traumas through writing. It was a better outlet for Luke to help cope and tackle past stressful life experiences.  Not only did Luke have support from his instructor and you, but his counselor at Banyan Treatment Center, Rob, also supported the idea of using expressive writing as a way to heal.

Luke could not deny that writing helped clear his head. Something he learned while being in rehab back in Los Angeles. It allowed him to face things from his past that he had pushed aside. However, Luke had some reservations about how much he should…open himself up when it comes to sorting out his past events. There were still things that Luke was not quite ready to face.  

Oh my God!" exclaimed Luke. "It has been a month and a half since we have seen that movie. It would be best if you got over the ending. It happened. There is nothing you can do about it."

"I can't, Luke. It was total bullshit!" you yelled back furiously.

Luke calmly said your name to get your attention. "Listen to me; we don't even know if Steve Rogers actually stayed back in time to be with Peggy. He may have…"

"Then where did he go? Huh? He just up and left his friends who he just got back. Steve and Peggy never even dated! They kissed, that is it. Yes, there was an attraction that each had for one another, but that was all it ever way…an attraction. They are a 'what could have been' type of couple—the movie completely throughout all of Steve's character development…right out the window. Whatever, I'm over it," you stated, throwing your hands up in defeat.

You and Luke were driving to his Aunt Janet's house for a visit. He mentioned to you about wanting to visit his aunt for some time but had not gotten around to it. You were surprised that he asked you to come along.

Luke mentioned that Shirley and Theo were too busy to come with him and did not want to go alone. You agreed on the condition that he drive since Aunt Janet lived an hour and a half away from Wilmington. Lately, your anxiety has been going up and down, so you were not comfortable being at the hands of the wheel, especially on the freeway. You did not understand why you had such anxiety these past few days. You chalked it up to being nervous about your final project at school. The assignment was to create a self-portrait. It should be simple enough, but of course, the art instructor wanted students to "think outside of the box" and not have it be a regular standard portrait of themselves.

Each draft you came up with was of you in some state of turmoil, whether it be you depicted on a gurney getting resuscitated from your heroin overdose or lying in a pool of your own vomit. You could not understand why this particular project was giving you such a hard time. You were three-years sober. You had a steady job and gone back to school. Your relationship with your parents was better than ever. So, why the thought of a self-portrait brought upon negative thoughts about oneself?

You mentioned your troubles to Luke, and he was very sympathetic. While he was now 206 days sober, there were times where he felt…like the achievement did not mean much.

"What do you mean by that?" you asked him while on the way to Aunt Janet's house.

"It's just…this isn't my first rodeo when it comes to recovery," Luke began to say. "There is always this little voice in the back of my head that…"

"That it is only temporary. I have that little voice too. I'm not too fond of that little voice. Three years sober, and there are times where I still feel like a total failure. I shouldn't, but…I can't help it," you revealed to Luke honestly.

"Thankfully, there is another little voice in the back of my head that gives tells me that I'm doing a good job now and then. It's just that positive little voice has been a tad quiet lately," you added.

Luke could pick up on the little defeatist tone in your voice, and he did not like it. You immediately felt his worry about you. "Hey," you said to get his attention and placed a hand on his arm. "Don't worry about me, okay. I'm fine. I have my fears like every recovering addict. It is nice to talk to someone about it, particularly someone who understands, you know. That helps."

Silence soon filled the car, but it was not awkward. You never had awkward or uncomfortable silences with Luke. For some reason, Luke was one of the few comforting presences in your life. Regardless of all of the hardships he has gone through in his life, he offered a sense of hopefulness. With his 6'3 stature, Luke really came off more like a gentle giant. It was like he did not view himself as this grown tall man, but probably still felt like that little kid hiding under the bed from the "Tall Man" at Hill House.

"Luke," you said to get his attention. "Are you happy?"

"No," he replied immediately, then clarified when he saw the look you gave him. "I mean, am I happy that I am over 200 days clean, then yes I am, very much so. But…I don't know, there is a small part of me that is scared to be happy…to be content in fear of something going wrong."

When Luke pulled the car into Aunt Janet's driveway, the older woman immediately came out of the house to greet her youngest nephew.

"There he is, my little boy," she said and wrapped her arms around Luke, which he reciprocated.

"Hi Aunt Janet, how are you?"

"I'm fine, darling. How have you been?" Aunt Janet asked, pulling away to get a good look at Luke. He looked much better than he did at Nell's funeral.

"Good. I'm doing good. Everyone is doing…fine," Luke replied, then turned towards you. He introduced you as his friend and not his sponsor to his Aunt, which kind of surprised you.

"So nice to meet you," said Aunt Janet taking your hand. She motioned for you both to follow her into the house. "I hope you both are hungry. I made an array of sandwiches and salads for lunch. Luke, I also made your favorite…chocolate pecan pie bars."

"Thank the Lord because he was hoping you would make them on the car ride here. It was all he talked about?" you teased.

"Once you have one, then you will know what I am talking about," Luke responded with a smile.

Aunt Janet lead you both into the kitchen.

"Can I use the bathroom to freshen up?" you asked her.

"Oh yes, dear. It is down that hallway, the first door to the right," told Aunt Janet as she showed you where to go. "Luke, you should probably wash your hands first," she added.

"Yes, Aunt Janet," he said and went to the sink to wash his hands.

When you were no longer in earshot, Aunt Janet stood beside her nephew and said, "Your friend seems really sweet."

Luke could not hold back his smile, "Yeah, she is genuinely nice. She's fun to hang out with. We have a lot of the same interests. Shirley and Theo have met her as well," he mentioned and shared that both of his sisters really liked you.

Aunt Janet turned her head to see if you came if you were around the corner. When you were not, she leaned over to Luke and said, "Very pretty too. She'd make a lovely…"

"Aunt Janet, she is just a friend. I can't date her anyway. She's…they say you shouldn't date anyone while still in recovery."

"I'm so proud of you," Aunt Janet said as she placed the food on the kitchen table. "You are becoming the man I always knew you could be."

Luke would be lying to himself if he denied that there was some form of attraction that he had for you, both physically and emotionally. He knew that the feelings that he was slowly developing towards you could be considered wrong. You were his sponsor…a dedicated one at that too. It would not be right for him to act on any attraction he may have for you—no doubt, that you would not reciprocate them, which would be disappointing to Luke.

"Better to just suffer in silence," Luke thought to himself.

"Don't you want a girlfriend? A family of your own someday?" asked Aunt Janet.

"Yeah…maybe. Someday. I'm just learning to take care of myself without drugs in my system. There is no way I can be a dedicated father or husband to anyone… at least not right now. I am still a work in progress," Luke admitted to his aunt. "I do like…" But Luke stopped when he heard your footsteps approaching.

"Oh, my goodness. The pictures on the wall… I'm assuming the little kid with glasses is you, Luke."

The three of you sat around the kitchen table with your plates stacked with delicious food.

"Luke was the absolute cutest kid. He had a little lisp as well," Aunt Janet shared. "I have more pictures of the kids if you would like to see them?"

"Yes," you replied ecstatically.

"No," Luke disputed, "We are in the middle of eating."

"We can multitask. Let's see those pictures," you asserted gleefully while Aunt Janet got up from the table.

With a belly full of food, the three you were now sitting outside on the patio, drinking tea, and eating Aunt Janet's yummy chocolate pecan pie bars. You already looked through three photo albums that showed Luke and his siblings' younger years.

"I wanted to take as many pictures as I could of the kids. They hated it, but I told 'em they would appreciate it when they got older," expressed Aunt Janet. "Here's a picture of Nell on her wedding day. That's her husband, Arthur. Sadly, he passed away a couple of months after they got married. But…they are together now."

You looked at the photo of the young couple. Nell looked very much like her older sisters and her mother. You could tell that there was a kindness about Nell just by looking at the picture. She was the type of person to go above and beyond for her family and even strangers. Luke would say that Nell was just that type of person to care about everyone, no matter who they were or where they came from.

Luke did share with you that one of his biggest regrets was not going to Nell's wedding. He said that he tried, but Shirley told him to leave. Luke said that it was for the best and that he was in no right state of mind to support his twin the way she deserved on her wedding day.

Thankfully for Luke, Nell understood and held no hard feelings. She never did when it came to her other half.

Aunt Janet began to sniffle, and when you looked up from the photo, you saw the older woman dab her eyes with a napkin. Out of instinct, Luke grabbed his Aunt's tiny hand and squeezed it with his as a way to show support. Just as he was Aunt Janet's little boy, Nell was her little girl. She was the one to raise them, take care of them, and guide them into adulthood.

None of the Crain children were perfect; they were far beyond that notion. However, there is no denying that if they did not have Aunt Janet take care of them and love them, they could have been worse off. Luke had the overwhelming feeling of guilt encompassing him at the moment as Aunt Janet tried to hold back her tears.

You instantly looked up at Luke. You could feel his sense of guilt towards the way he treated his aunt while growing up. He looked over at you. It was a silent conversation you both were having between one another. You mouthed, "Do you want me to go?" so he could have this moment alone.

With a shake of his head, 'No,' Luke spoke up to get his aunt's attention. "Aunt Janet…I'm sorry. I'm sorry for…for all the Hell I put you through while living here. You did so much for Nell and me, and the others that I…shit all over it. I stole and lied to you like it was my job. You deserved better. I just want you to know that…me getting hooked on drugs…well…that was…no matter what had happened…it was my choice to go down that path of destruction. I love you, Aunt Janet, and I am so appreciative of the sacrifices you made for my siblings and me. I wish that I weren't such a fuck up…"

"Oh sweetheart, no, you are not a…fuck up," Aunt Janet interjected and continued, "Not at all. I love you so much that…I would do anything for you, you know that, right? Your childhood is in the past. It happened. It is a part of you. The fact that you are continuing to remain clean after all that has occurred…well, that is something you should be most proud of. It shows that you are dedicated to your sobriety and turning your life around. No one said this process was easy, but you stayed the course and continued to make good decisions. As I told you earlier, you are becoming the man I always knew you could be."

"Now, I'm going to cry," Luke giggled as he dabbed his eyes with a napkin. "I didn't mean to turn this into a sob fest, but I wanted you to know that I'm sorry for what I put you through and that I love you very much, Aunt Janet."

Aunt Janet emerged from her seat to wrap her arms around her nephew and kiss the top of his head. It was a sweet moment to witness.

[definitely-not-karen]

My unnecessary and irrelevant reviews about the transformers media I have consumed.

Please let me have this. I was doom scrolling and transformers is my comfort fandom.

G1: I have not watched all of it, I do plan on doing so but I did watch it when I was younger and does invoke nostolgia. I watched it on Teletoon Retro (does that even exist anymore?) ((just googled it, rip teletoon retro)). For some reason I really like the episode The Ultimate Weapon. I am a huge fan of First Aid and it was because of this episode and I have no idea why. Rodimus is the main character of that episode with First Aid just having a very prominent role in the side story of that episode. I really liked the Aerialbots and their storyline with the time traveling and the not knowing if they’re on the right side was really cool. Honestly the animation errors and weird inconsistent story are part of the charm I guess.

RID 2001: another show I’ve only seen tidbits of. I watched this one via random episodes illegally uploaded to YouTube in the early to mid 2010s and now all those videos are taken down. As a lover of camp, this is camp. I love it. Transformers as a concept is pretty camp (which is why I adore it) and I definitely will watch all of this one day. Though Sideburn is cool and all, I do wish he didn’t chase a red sports car every episode. Otherwise he’s one of my favourites cause himbo rights I guess.

Transformers IDW 2005: So... I read the entirety of the idw comics purely because I found out Thundercracker was a screenplay writer and I wanted to read the entire story so I got the complete context of his development from scary fighter jet to an Oscar winner. I was not disappointed, I was met with queer and trans representation of all sorts, a diverse storyline with action filled parts, comedy elements, slice of life, political drama, adventure, horror, and the best road trip through space. Honestly I was not expecting transformers of all things to have queerness represented so casually and quite well in my opinion (though technically they are guilty of bury your gays, I don’t count it cause there was a clear reason for that death) Thundercracker was marked as one of my favourites cause of this series. I did experience a wonderful story because I wanted to see how he got his happy ending. My biggest criticism of idw transformers is that I love their interpretations of characters and sadly I know I’ll probably never get to seen them like that again. But if I want to experience those characters like that, I’ll just re read it I guess.

Transformers Animated: I have watched the entirety of this great show twice and it still love it. Funny characters, a human character that has a purpose, and a fun change to the formula, Transformers Animated has one of my favourite Optimus and made a Bumblebee so lovably loud they had to take away his voice so he wouldn’t become too powerful. Loved all of the characters except the human villains, Headmaster did not age well and I wasn’t in love with Ratchet’s design but his personality more than made up for it. If you want more animated, I love Transformers ReAnimated the void is filled by that series and channel. While I wish it got another season, it’s ending was satisfying enough I guess.

Transformers Prime: Smokescreen is great and was underutilizes -100/10. Just kidding, kind of I really enjoyed Prime. I’ve only watched through it completely once cause when I was a child I did not like the designs since apparently as a child I was a G1 loyalist I guess. Though now Prime has one of my favourite styles that still holds up today. Dramatic story with actual character development, I can over look that the plots a tad slow. I wish Breakdown was utilized more and it also could have benefited from an extra season but the movie wrapped it up much better than animated’s ending. Knockout is an amazing character and I was spoiled while I was watching it that he turns Autobot though I didn’t realize that wasn’t until the literal end of the series. Would’ve like a completely fleshed out Breakdown and Knockout or at least Knockout redemption arc but there’s always fanfiction I guess.

Robots in Disguise 2015: I didn’t hate it? It definitely helped that I watched this before Prime for some reason. I liked the designs, Sideswipe... himbo rights. Biggest flaw is the lack of character growth. I just want nice things for Sideswipe, Strongarm and Fixit. Grimlock was fun, I like Bumblebee trying to be a good leader and Optimus should have stayed dead. The crossover and referenced to Rescue Bots was fun and Blurr and Sideswipe was the rivalry I didn’t know I needed. But the one I really needed was Smokescreen in there too. The ending arc was interesting though not executed the best and Steeljaw did a lot of the heavy lifting for the villain side to a point where they over utilized him and his character suffered as a result. Windblade was not as bad as people online said she was, splitting the group up into two was stupid cause I’m bitter and still don’t want Optimus there. Also long list of underutilization: Denny and Russel Clay, Jazz, all the characters from prime except Optimus and Bee, Jetfire and Jetstorm, More Rescue bots, and many more! Like that girl that’s Russel’s friend that I literally don’t remember because I’m pretty sure the writers forgot about her! Anyways, in retrospect the show probably wasn’t great but I liked it I guess.

Rescue Bots: This show is way better than it needed to be. I actually love the no Decelticons and war. I’m a sucker for slice of life and especially slice of life with a twist. Human villains that were actually interesting, actual character development, continuity (somewhat), great human characters all while being target for children. I’m so happy I watched this show while I was kind of the target age and rewatching it for the third time was great cause some of the science jargon actually made sense to me. Satisfying ending too and honestly it can just appeal to everyone. Love all four of the main rescue bots and constantly wish they made evergreen designs and toys for them so they could at least make cameos in other transformers media. Sometimes it’s nice to have transformers being wholesome I guess.

Rescue Bots Academy: ... I was not the age democratic for this show and I somehow still liked it? Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve been gravitating to more wholesome content due to current events but it was actually good? Love all the students, I do miss the old crew and characters like Doc Green and Frankie are under utilized and the Burns family is almost nowhere to be found :(. Once again there’s some actual character development and Hot Shot’s mentor relationship with Heatwave is super sweet. Also actually having positive post war Decepticon and Autobot relationships in this children’s show? Woah. Biggest issue is like RID 2015; the lack of continuity and characters completely disappearing. Perceptor was fun and I was not expecting him to appear. And I love me some microscope dude. It was a good send off for the aligned continuity I guess.

Cyberverse: ending too soon. I was about to be upset that bumblebee didn’t have his voice but he had his voice in his head which was great. Episodes like the velocitron one was really good and it definitely got better with each season and peaked in the Quintesson arc and then rolled to the cancellation date. Thundercracker shouldn’t have been killed off but I’m very biased. Seeing the rebuilding of Cybertron was cool. Windblade and Bumblebee had a fun relationship. I really liked this iteration of Grimlock. Perceptor was super interesting but then they did nothing with him after the Quintesson arc which was a shame and I would have liked to see better relationships between the Autobots and Decepticons after the team up. Also wholesome Whirl was fun. Honestly this needed one more season so bad. I just think it could have been great if it got one. But it’s still good I guess.

War for Cybertron: ...let’s see how I feel after Kingdom comes out but right now, meh. For me my favourite transformers characters usually end up being side characters due to me wishing they had more screen time so in this case, Red Alert is great please show me more of Red Alert. I get what all the people are saying about the voice acting and whatever but I can look past it (though please give us Peter Cullen or let the current VC make his own Optimus voice). But one thing is that all the YouTube reviewers be saying that I completely agree with is that it’s dark. Like lighting wise. I occasionally had trouble making out what was happening because it was dark. Honestly my biggest issue isn’t a fault of the show. I like development of multiple characters to be shown so I can fall in love with a multitude of characters but due to short seasons, it makes sense to focus in completely on one character at a time. Siege in my opinion at least let me see more of the background characters rather than Earthrise but I’d probably like Earthwise more if I was a bigger fan of Optimus. I’m going to watch Kingdom but I’m not expecting to be wowed I guess.

In conclusion, I should watch Beast Wars, I’m going to re read the ending of Lost Light again and revel in the melancholic ending I adore and I really like Thundercracker and First Aid. One great thing about transformers and other franchises that have been around for awhile, if you don’t like the current thing, there’s plenty of last media and you probably won’t need to wait too long for the next piece of media you’ll hopefully like.

Please be good idw 2019, I’ve read a bit of you and I have a scrap of hope. Oh please please please be good. Give some characters the Thundercracker treatment.

[professorsnape394]

The Potions Master’s Apprentice

Chapter Fourteen: Friends

A/N: This is the fourteenth part to my fanfiction ‘The Potions Master’s Apprentice (Severus Snape x OC)’. Chapters 1-16 can be found already uploaded on Wattpad under the same name. Feel free to leave requests in my inbox for anything Snape related you want me to write. Leave a comment below if you wish to be added to my tag list.

Pairing: Severus Snape x OC (Dumbledore’s Granddaughter)

Summary: A talented young witch is employed as an apprentice professor at Hogwarts, but who will she be working under? Severus Snape is not best pleased with his new responsibility of taking on an apprentice, however she is relentless to create a friendship between them. Will she be successful? Or might the friendship just go a little two far? With the eyes of her grandfather constantly watching over them, an attempt at a relationship might not be in the cards for Aria Dumbledore and Severus Snape.

Word Count: 2779

Warnings: n/a

Credits to Gif Creator

To the other professors, breakfast came and went just as it did every other day. But Aria could sense the difference in tone from the students. To the other professors the students chatter was just as excitable as it always was. But Aria could tell it was more hushed and secretive. To the other professors, today was just a normal day, they would have gone about their day blissfully unaware of the situation that had occurred at the Three Broomsticks. Had it not been for the huge elephant in the room.

As he entered the hall that morning for breakfast not a soul in the room missed the swollen black and blue lump in place of where Snape's eye should be. Not a soul in the room missed the way he stormed in, in a fit of rage, knowing that the whole school would be talking about him. And not a soul missed the glares he sent their way daring them to confront him on the matter. But only Aria Dumbledore could see the hurt in his eyes, the embarrassment he was feeling and the pain he buried deep down for the way he had treated his friend last night.

Of course, she was angry at him. All of this was his fault. But the sadness she felt for him overcame her own dignity and she wanted to find out what it was all for. What hurt him so badly, that he felt the need to make her feel as low as he did. Aria knew this was yet another mystery of the great Severus Snape which would remain unanswered. The man was an enigma.

*

As expected, the potions master and his apprentice were curtly invited to Headmaster Dumbledore's office after breakfast to explain themselves. It had not taken long for the rumours to spread from the students all the way to the top, and it was clear Aria's grandfather was less than pleased to hear them.

"You will both be well aware of why I called you here this morning, I am sure." Dumbledore begun when the pair entered the Headmasters office. The two merely nodded, letting the old wizard speak.

"Firstly, I must begin by saying how utterly disappointed I am in the two of you. Not only in the events that transpired last night, but moreover the fact that neither of you were professional enough to come to speak to me about this first, before it got out of hand." The headmaster started, taking a seat behind his large oak desk.

Both Aria Dumbledore and Severus Snape bowed their heads in shame, as they stood side by side awkwardly, neither of them daring to look at the other.

"Grandfather I-"

"Miss Dumbledore, in this current professional capacity, I would appreciate if you addressed me as your rightful superior."

"I'm sorry." She replied sheepishly. "Headmaster Dumbledore, I want to apologise for not informing you of what had happened at the Three Broomsticks but as you can see Sever-, Professor Snape did have some injuries that needing tending to and in the state that he was, I didn't think him fit enough to be left unattended to."

As she spoke Severus let out a grunt of disagreement in an attempt to mask his embarrassment.

"Whether that may be the case, Miss Dumbledore, if you are being harassed by another member of staff, your priority should be to inform me, not assist your harasser." Albus scorned.

Snape remained silent, waiting to be spoken too before opening his mouth. He was mortified by his actions in the Three Broomsticks, but even more so by what happened later that night.

"Now, which one of you would like to explain to me what happened, so I can distinguish the truth from some of the student's wild imaginations."

Aria turned her attention to the Potions master who continued to keep his head down, not willing to recall his cruel words.

"I think Professor Snape is best for that job, headmaster." Aria confessed, unwilling to let the man get off so easily.

"Very well. Aria, you may leave us." Dumbledore announced.

"What? But why?" She objected.

"As you so graciously volunteered Severus for the job, I no longer have a reason to keep you back from your duties as a professor." Dumbledore informed her calmly. "Speaking of which, you will be taking all of the potions classes alone for the time being. Professor Snape will be taking a short sabbatical."

Snape's face turned grey at the thought. Not only did he not want this young witch teaching his students, but the mention of a sabbatical made his stomach drop. He knew how he had acted was wrong, but never had it crossed his mind that he could possibly lose his job for what he had done.

"What!?" Aria gasped. "But you can't do that, he-"

"Relax, Aria dear." Dumbledore interrupted. "It is only until I get this business cleared up. With his eye looking as it does the excitement will never settle, you know how students like to gossip. Besides he can take some time to reflect on his actions while it heals." Dumbledore shot Snape a disapproving look.

Aria made to object once again, but this time Severus took the opportunity to shut her up.

"Go, Miss Dumbledore. Do not keep my students waiting." He commanded sourly.

Finally, Aria obeyed, leaving with an uneasy feeling settling in her stomach as she left the two men to talk.

Dumbledore clasped his hands on the desk in front of him and waited patiently for Severus to confess his wrong doings.

"I will not insult you, headmaster, by downplaying my actions from last night. I stupidly let my emotions get the better of me and I thought I could find a solution at the bottom of a bottle of Fire Whiskey, I was wrong. I said disgusting things to your granddaughter and believe me no one can judge me more than I am judging myself right now." Snape could not bring himself to meet the old wizards disappointed gaze.

"And your eye, how did that situation occur." Albus questioned, feeling slightly sorry for the professor, despite the trouble he has caused.

"It was well deserved." Snape admitted. "A 'friend' of your granddaughter's rightfully put a stop to my embarrassing display. I apologise whole heartedly for every mistake I made last night."

"That is all very good and well, Severus. But have you said this to her?"

Severus hung his head.

"I see. May I suggest that be your first port of call." Albus advised.

"Of course."

The Professors sat in dead silence. It was clear both of them were in their own heads more than the conversation.

"Is there something more I should know, Severus?" Dumbledore eyed the man skeptically.

Severus paused for a moment, debating whether to confide in his friend.

"No, sir." He lied. His voice remained void of all emotion.

"Aria could be a great friend to you, Severus. Do not throw that chance away, again. Learn from your past mistakes." The Headmaster warned.

Albus Dumbledore's words resonated with Severus all day. The old man was right. He had once lost his only friend due to a small moment of emotional vulnerability paired with the harshness of his words, he could not re-live that experience. There was only one way to avoid losing Aria from his life completely, any feelings he may have had for her now had to be buried entirely.

*

Storming into her first lesson of the day, the room fell silent upon Aria's entry. The students waited a minute or two, expecting the presence of their most feared professor, which never came.

Aria begun the lessons as Severus always did; silently writing out paragraphs of information for the students to copy. It didn't take long for the fifth years to realise Snape would not be joining them this morning and so they set about asking their more relaxed potions professor all of the questions they were just dying to know the answers to, regarding the events of the previous night.

"Professor Dumbledore, where's Professor Snape, isn't he going to teach us?" It began.

"Unfortunately, today I will be solely be teaching Professor Snape's classes." Aria answered, turning her back on the classroom of students and continued to scribble on the chalk board.

"I heard he shouted at you in front of everyone in the Three Broomsticks yesterday Miss, is that true?" One of the Ravenclaw girls dared to ask.

"You should have seen him." Another laughed. "He was absolutely wrecked, knocked back almost a full bottle of Fire Whiskey apparently."

Aria chose not to respond.

"You were there? What did he say?" A curious Gryffindor inquired, wanting to hear the full story for himself. The two started quietly conversing up the back of the class, letting some more students get their accusations in.

"Is it true you are Karkaroff were caught going at it in the potions cupboard, Miss." Another boy bravely chuckled. "Is that where Snape found you?"

"That's can't be true." Someone else defended, shaking their head in disbelief.

"It is so, didn't you see the two of them at dinner yesterday? He could barely keep his hands off of her." Another whispered.

A few gasps and giggles broke out among the students as they continued to speculate.

"I heard she's the one who punched Snape, did you see his eye today?

"To be fair I don't blame her, he is a bit of a wanker, he probably deserved it."

"Don't be so stupid. It wasn't her; it was her boyfriend, I saw it myself."

"Did Snape actually call you a Slut, Miss?"

The room went quiet anticipating their teacher's response.

"Enough!" She yelled, slamming her hand on the desk as she turned to face them. The class stared at her, stunned.

"I don't want to hear any more of this." She started, putting down her chalk. "I am well aware that some of you may have witnessed the incident that occurred in the Three Broomsticks last night and while Professor Snape's little outburst may have happened extremely publicly, this gives none of you the right to make things worse by making up these stupid stories. I am going to settle this once and for all and I want to hear no more of it, do you understand?" The class nodded silently.

"First off; no, Professor Snape has not been fired, nor would I want him to be. He will resume his position as your potion's professor in a few days' time, and I warn all of you that this nonsense better be done with by then. He will not let you off as lightly as I have done." Aria walked around her desk, resting on the edge as she spoke.

"Secondly, any rumours you have heard regarding me and Headmaster Karkaroff are completely false. Professor Snape got the wrong impression and has now been informed of his mistake. In addition to this, anything you may have heard surrounding me and any other member of staff, or indeed students..." She said through gritted teeth. "... is also false. This includes Professor Snape."

A moment of chatter bubbled among the students, before once again falling silent.

"As for the man I was with, he was nothing more than a friend. And after the way he treated Professor Snape, he is no longer even that. Violence in any form will not be tolerated, no matter the circumstances. I will personally deal with any student supporting the actions of this man or the harming of Professor Snape, regardless of anything he may or may not have said." Aria finished.

"Is all of this abundantly clear?" She asked the class, receiving a chorus of agreement in response.

Aria let the students know to spread this information throughout the school to combat the rumours surrounding her and Severus Snape's altercation, and they graciously obliged. She received very little harassment or questions for the rest of the day, although she knew it was almost impossible to put an end to all of the speculations this early on.

*

Whilst packing up her papers to return to her quarters for an early night, Aria was startled by a sharp knock on the door.

"Come in." She called, not bothering to stop what she was doing. It wasn't until he was standing right in front of her did Aria even recognise who it was. "Severus." The professor said in shock. "Knocking to get into your own class room now?"

"As it were, this appears to be your classroom for the time being, Miss Dumbledore." He droned, watching her intently as she went about her business.

"For a few days at least, it seems." She shrugged. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"I came for an update on my classes' progression. While I might not be teaching them, this does not mean I am willing to relinquish all of my responsibilities quite yet. I don't imagine you have anything prepared." He sneered, continuing to analyse the desk.

"Actually, Professor Snape, I have." She retorted, handing him a small binder. "There you will find every class organised by year and then by level of difficulty; I have written a small summary of what we covered in the classes and how far we hope to progress. All students are listed individually and sorted by house, each detailing how well they coped with the lesson and what they need to work on. I shall give you another update tomorrow, and each day after until you are back. Happy?" She smirked.

"Very impressive." He hummed, unamused, snatching the binder from her and making to leave.

As Snape reached the exit, one hand holding the door ajar, he let his fingers tap on the wood indecisively. Letting out a small huff of breath Severus turned on his heel, re-entering the classroom as he remembered his promise to the headmaster.

"There is one more thing, Miss Dumbledore." The potions master announced, bringing her back to his attention.

"Mmhmm." Aria hummed, continued to flick through her papers, making sure she had what she needed.

"If you could actually pay attention, Miss Dumbledore, I would be able to get out of your hair much faster." Severus hissed through gritted teeth, fighting the urge to roll his eyes.

"What do you want, Severus." His apprentice huffed. "I do have things to be getting on with. Spit it out."

Snape clenched his jaw and pursed his lips, trying his damn best not to insult the girl.

Couldn't she just listen for five seconds when he was actually trying to be nice to her? He thought.

"I... I want you to know." Snape stuttered, coughing to clear his throat. "I need you to know. Everything I said last night, I didn't mean any of it. I was drunk, and sometimes emotions that we would all like to keep hidden show themselves, do you understand?"

"I get it, Severus. I know you wouldn't have said those things under normal circumstances. You were stressed." Aria accepted, immediately going back to her piles of parchment.

"Look at me." Snape snapped. "You do not understand. I am apologising for my actions in the Three Broomsticks, of course I am. But the point I would most like to stress is... Can we just forget yesterday never happened? All of it."

Aria stared deep into the Professor's eyes knowing he was desperate for her attention. Ignoring the fact he was battered and bruised, she could see the pain in his eyes. The desperateness for her to agree with him, to forget that anything ever happened between them, or rather could have happened.

"Don't worry about it, Severus. Nothing happened as far as I am concerned." She reached out to him, resting a hand on his bicep and flashing a comforting smile.

A hint of a smile threatened on Severus' lips. But as soon as it came it was gone once again. Snape stepped away from the woman, letting her get on with her work.

"Can we agree on one thing, Severus?" Aria asked, keeping her attention on him finally. Snape nodded, allowing her to continue. "The students are having a field day with all of this. I think it would be in everyone's interest for us to try and get along. Hopefully it will dull down a lot of the rumours if they see us acting civil. What do you think? Friends?" She proposed.

Snape let out a small huff of amusement, letting the sides of his lips curl up, contently.

"Friends." He agreed, stepping out of the room quietly.

Taglist: 

@ayamenimthiriel @lizlil

[sapphirerubycreates]

This Pain I Know (11): Hero too

First Book:   These Hands of Mine     Second Book: This Pain I Know Master list

Last Chapter: This isn’t an interrogation

Next Chapter:    Be UpFront

Lead Up/Summary: Jackie is trying to reinforce that Cat is the bad guy. That he's lying. That he won't let this villain get his way. That he will, somehow, impossibly, find his brother.

content warning: grief

Author’s note: i'm not getting back into a scheduled uploading right now. Just... guess, kinda wanted to make sure you all know I still work on and love this. 

________________________________

What was Henrik thinking, listening to Marvin? What was he thinking, believing he could actually get any answers? Marvin was a demon, a tormentor, someone whose only goal was to cause Jackie misery. Of course he’d lie, manipulate, try to gain sympathy or pity just to crush Jackie again. And what was that nonsense about ‘not leaving him defenseless’? Jackie crashed down onto his bed. He laid on his back and stretched out his limbs. The electricity flowed through his body just like his blood. It was all over and it’s feeling could not be mistaken or missed. He knew what his powers felt like. 

And what was all that other crap about. Quiet his energy. Self-preservation. Linking his powers to his emotions. He was born with that face. That Cat had found him two years ago. That interrogation was in his best interest. Like hell he could ever be telling the truth. None of his words matched the reality Jackie knew. The one where Cat tried to kill him, taunted him, threatened his family. He had to just be feigning frailty right now. In a day, he’d spring a trap and they’d all be injured, or worse...

Jackie shook his head. No thinking about that right now. Just... Cat was wrong. About all of it. He didn’t quiet Jackie’s energy, he cast a spell to make his arm go limp.

And the reason he did that wasn’t cause of self-preservation. Self-preservation would have been poofing out of their house. What Cat did was malicious and meant to hurt Jackie.

Linking powers to emotions? As if that was real. He had been pushed to breaking points — do or die — and maybe some deep part of him, his instincts reacted. Maybe there was a reserve supply lying just in his unconscious mind. Maybe that’s why he couldn’t use his powers until yesterday; his life, his family’s lives weren’t in such direct danger until yesterday. Jackie didn’t even know how he got his powers in the first place. They first showed up when he was 16 and trying to save his classmates from that fire. Maybe they were just... re-awakened because he truly needed them.

Fuck this was all so twisted. What the hell were Cat’s reasons for doing– for saying anything?? Obviously he’d done something to make his face look like Jackie’s. They couldn’t be family. Never. And why even do it at all? He always wore a mask. Maybe if someone ever did unmask him, they’d mistake him for Jackie? Right, like he’d ever let that happen normally. Normally... Before he fell out of the sky...

And that lie, saying he’d found Jackie two years ago, and years before that. If he really hated Jackie so much, he would have done something back then. Cat must have said it to just rile him up. Because if he really had been monitoring him– or worse, his family – then he could have been— No! Stop it! Jackie found Cat, in that alleyway, by chance. Or maybe by trap. Didn’t matter. That’s when they first met. Period. Don’t fall into the delusion.

Delusions. Like that he was really staying here because it ‘was in his best interest.’ He was just staying here to try and mess with him in a different way. Get his family involved. Play victim. Watch everything in plain view instead of that plot to make Jackie look crazy. Puppet all the scenarios. Lord over him that he had vital information so he couldn’t be harmed. Jackie turned and smashed his fist into his mattress. At least that didn’t hurt too much.

This was crap. He had his powers now. He should be using them. He should have gotten information about Jameson. Instead, he was here, lying in his bed. Letting that fiend still worm his way inside his mind. There was no sense in talking anymore; Marvin would never give up his brother’s location. There were only two options left: bargaining, and torture. And Cat didn’t deserve to get anything after what he’d put Jackie and his family through. Which only left torture... like Jackie could actually do that.

Jackie always preferred intimidation or logic or reason to actual brutality. But Cat hadn’t left him any other choice. Beating the answer out of him... fuck... that came down to a matter of willpower, for both sides. The will to go as far as necessary to get an answer. The will to withhold information no matter the cost. Or, if Jackie did manage to get an answer, Cat could be lying. And even for all the punishment Cat did deserve, Jackie didn’t know if he wanted to try and do it that way. Seeing him yesterday barely able to breathe…

Jackie planted his face into his pillow. This was a dead end. Something had to budge. But right now, he didn’t see any way around it. Jackie hated feeling useless. And instead of just tossing and turning in frustration in his bed, he got up.

Small stretch towards the sky and he started to notice how wobbly his right leg was. Okay, sit back down. Could already hear Henrik scolding him for being so reckless and walking about on that leg like it was nothing. Jackie sighed, letting his shoulders slump down. Whenever he came back down, no matter what the reason, he was gonna get yelled at. He rolled his eyes at the future annoyance. But still, he couldn’t just sit here.

Looking at his clock, the time shown 10:30. Hadn’t seen Chase yet. Making a deliberate effort to stand, Jackie had decided. Hobble off towards Chase’s room then. At least his leg was better than it was two weeks ago.

Three light taps. “Chase? You up?” Jackie didn’t wait for a response before opening the door. His eyes went straight to the bed. Even if the blinds were shut, enough light peeked out from behind them that Jackie had a good view of Chase’s room. And Chase was laying on his bed, atop the covers, facing the far wall. “Come on bud,” Jackie started sadly, shambling into the room, “you’ve already missed breakfast. Won’t let you miss lunch too.” Jackie took a seat on the bed. Chase was only taking up half the bed, so Jackie could lay down if he wanted, but he didn’t want to do that right now. Being this close to Chase, Jackie was able to see that he was clutching something close to his chest. Though, because of how tightly Chase was holding it, he couldn’t see what. “You gotta get up Chase.” Jackie’s voice was exhausted. Chase was stubborn enough to stay in bed all day if he wanted, despite any hunger pangs. Was he tired with Chase too?

Chase made a small shake of his head on his pillow. “You know you’re gonna make yourself sick, staying up here like this,” Jackie commented, letting out another sigh. Bringing his knees onto the bed, he knelt on the bed, now tall enough to reach the window. “You don’t move by the count of 5, I’m opening the blinds.” Jackie couldn’t tell if Chase moved or not. He turned back to the window, disappointed. “5, 4,” he reached his arm toward the twister, “3, 2,” he let his hand rest on it, “1...” He held his breath a moment, but nothing. Twisting, bright light poured in. Lowering himself down, Jackie looked back at Chase. His brother just turned into himself a little further. 

“Come on man. Not today.” Jackie grabbed Chase’s side and started to roll him over. And that’s when he finally saw what Chase was snuggling. A pink dog plushie and a stuffed giraffe. “oh.” Crap, that probably seemed insensitive. But what the hell is supposed to say?

Jackie let go of Chase, and he rolled back onto his side, back towards Jackie. “Hey, I...” What the fuck is he supposed to say?? “What do you want to eat? I can bring it up for you.” But Chase just softly shook his head.

So, Jackie just sat criss-cross on the bed, facing Chase and waiting for a request or reaction or... something. He couldn’t just tell Chase to get over it and come down and eat.

“It feels like it’s happening again,” Chase talked slow. And it sounded like he was on the verge of tears. “And I can’t do anything about it, again.”

And Jackie knew he had to say something to that. Even lie. “Let me handle it. I know yesterday didn’t go well, but, I’ll get him to tell us where Jameson is. Promise.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” Chase sniffled. “Jameson would hate that.”

“Hey, you doubting your little bro, now?” Jackie was trying to be light hearted about it, make Chase think he actually would be able to. Because that’s what heroes did; they saved people.

“Not you. Him... He’s never going to give up Jameson. Not for anything.” Jackie just sat there, not knowing what to think. Maybe not wanting to acknowledge Chase was right. “I can’t lose him too, Jackie. I can’t have any more of my family dying on me.” Chase’s kids weren’t dead, but after being kidnapped for over a year, Jackie supposed maybe it was easier to think of them as dead instead of hoping to ever see them again.

Fuck, this was so similar, wasn’t it. Chase left them for a few minutes. He knew who took them. And he would try anything to get them back. And still, they couldn’t find them. No. That cycle wasn’t going to be repeated here. This wasn’t like that. He had the kidnapper right here, under the same roof. Jackie couldn’t– wouldn’t let Chase feel so useless.

“I’m going to get him back Chase. No matter what.”

Chase sniffed, probably crying already. “I told you. Don’t make empty promises.”

“Chase...” Jackie grabbed his brother by both arms and made him turn and sit up. He kept holding him, keeping direct eye contact. “I mean it. I will get him back. No matter what I have to do.” Maybe this was an empty promise right now, but he’d find a way to make good on it. But he couldn’t do that at this moment, because, “Right now though, I have to look after you. Which means getting food in your stomach. I’ll see you downstairs in half an hour.”

He let go of Chase and placed his feet back on the ground. It took a moment to psyche himself up enough to stand. His limp was still there, but Jackie walked anyway. Yep, there were tears forming behind his eyes now. Because he had to do the impossible. Or else...

he’d end up losing two of his best friends.

____________________________

Author’s Note; I'm trying to make sure the narrator matches the main character's tone. And that each narrator is a character, and not just an emotional state.

taglist: @autumnrambles, @sa-sxken, @septicuniverse, @scubacatwoman, @musical-in-theory

[tiaragqueen]

Pernicious

✂ Pairing: Yandere! Dazai Osamu x Reader

✂ Word Count: 1,6k+

✂ Trigger Warnings: Implied isolation, possessiveness, manipulation

Do not re-upload my writing to another website or use it without my permission.

[Edited]

***

If you like my writing, please support me on ko-fi!

“Now I don't expect your sympathy, this is what and where I want to be. For as long as my blood runs, love comes and goes. God knows, nobody loves you like I do.” - Nobody Loves You Like I Do [Emerson, Lake & Palmer]

“Nobody loves you like I do.”

The way he said it was so confident, so certain that you almost believed his statement. But you straightened up and scowled at him, determined not to allow him to poison your mind more than he already had. Not that you’d admit it, though. You knew that he knew, anyway.

And that was what made it aggravating to remember, knowing that he had and would always have an upper hand.

“Oh, yeah?” you sneered, raising a challenging brow. “Well, I don’t believe it.”

Dazai merely smirked; a wide simper that haunted your dreams more than you could count. He was savoring this, you knew it. You could feel his twisted enjoyment reverberating in your ears and finally settled on your bones. It pricked your skin like thousand needles, drawing invisible blood that he’d later drink in a wine glass as the fruit of his facile efforts on provoking you.

And he always won, because he knew you better than you knew yourself.

He slowly leaned to your height and toyed with the strands, the same exasperating smile still etched on his enigmatic features. Relishing. Deriding. Undermining. “Prove me wrong, then, sweetheart.”

The front door had long opened, beckoning you to infallible freedom. The nippy air of winter drifted inside and bristled the hair on your body, but you endured it. You wouldn’t show him another display of weakness, even if it was a mere shiver. Dazai always exaggerated things, like an excellent manipulator he was.

But he could recognize it, the faintest tremble and your ground teeth, regardless of the distance that separated you both. His foxy eyes examined you from head to toe, unblinking and persistent.

Shooting him one last glare, you slowly backed away and bolted out as if fearing that the door would close and disappear from your sight forever. You could feel the lingering stare on your back, and finally, you shivered. You didn’t bring any jacket with you, but the natural coldness couldn’t compare to his gaze.

The gaze of an ex-mafioso. The gaze of a man whose feelings you could never comprehend. The gaze of someone who had destroyed your life slowly yet surely.

All in the name of love.

Then again, what did he know about true love anyway?

You hugged your chest and observed the snow-laden city, occasionally glancing behind in case he was stalking you without your knowledge. There was no sight of Dazai everywhere, so far. He must’ve really freed you, for a moment.

You weren’t a fool; you’d predicted the outcome. It was easy to see, you’d be dumb if you miss it. Still, you grabbed the chance anyway. Who knows, maybe you could actually win this time. And as farfetched as it sounded, maybe you could outmaneuver him somehow.

But, first, you needed a place to crash in.

Now that you thought about it, how long has it been since the last time you’d contacted your friends? Or your family? A day in Dazai's apartment felt like a month to you. It felt uncomfortable to suddenly ask them to stay at their place when you never bothered to leave a text, but you hoped they’d understand your plight.

They would, right?

You shook your head resolutely and headed towards your best friend’s apartment. No, this wasn’t the time to be pessimistic. You needed to make use of the opportunity he’d presented to you. Dazai might not be stalking you right now, but it didn’t mean he was ignorant of your whereabouts. You didn’t have any money or a phone, not even a cent, so you couldn't possibly leave the city. And Dazai's connection was limitless.

But as you ascended the stairs that led to your friend’s room, you wondered if it wasn’t too late to ask for Atsushi's help. Or, heck, the whole agency. But it meant you had to face him again, wouldn’t it? And with how intelligent and unreadable Dazai was, you had no doubts he could easily overturn the situation to his favor. For all you knew, he might’ve already thought about that kind of scenario.

So, that left you with no choice but to seek outside assistance.

Taking a deep breath, you lifted a shaky hand and knocked on the door hesitantly. You weren’t aware if your friend was home, but you prayed to God she was.

And finally, after seconds filled with desperate pleas, the door cracked open. Wide eyes peeked through the slit, and when they landed on yours, they instantly squinted.

“The hell do you want?” she hissed, much to your shock.

“Kimi!” you sputtered, mentally racking your brain to pinpoint the cause of her abrupt hostility. Was she angry because you suddenly cut all contact with her? Because your presence was unwelcomed? Or did you accidentally offend her in the past? “I-I need your help. I know it’s sudden, but hear me out–”

“Hell yeah, it’s sudden.” she snarled. “After you mocked me yesterday, you have the guts to show your disgusting face at my doorstep.”

All energy immediately dissipated from your agitated body, leaving a hollow shell behind. “What are you… talking about?”

You’d never seen her rolled her eyes so hard in your entire life. “Oh, so now you’re playing dumb, huh?” she sneered.

“N-no, I swear! I didn’t know what you were talking about!”

“Okay. Well, let me refresh your memory, then.” Kimi retorted sarcastically, thrusting her phone against your face. It displayed a myriad of vicious messages that you sent to her concerning her family life; messages that you didn’t remember sending. “I mean, I know that I came from a broken home. But you didn’t have to shove it to my face, you know? You have no idea how painful it is to hear it from people, especially from my own fucking best friend!”

Her voice cracked at the end, and yet, you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the wall of texts. There was only one culprit who would do this, but you didn’t expect his savagery to extend this far.

“No, you… you’re wrong, Kimi. I didn’t… I didn’t send these, trust me. I don’t even have a phone!”

“Bullshit!” she snapped, the veins on her forehead throbbed. “You’re always like that; making excuses. Even after I broke up with my boyfriend and had a fucking meltdown in my room, you never came! What the fuck am I to you, [Name]?! A toy for you to play with and throw away after you’re bored, huh? Is that it? Is that what you think of me?!”

“Kimi, please! Calm down!”

“Don’t you tell me what to do! You basically left me all those months alone, and now you showed up again looking all innocent! Like you didn’t suffer a single shit about the pain you’ve caused to me!” Kimi shoved you from the doorstep, intent on kicking you out of her sight forever. “Go! Go and never come back, you ungrateful bitch!”

The slam of the door echoed in the empty hallway, but you still stared at it. You stared and stared, hoping that what occurred just now was merely your imagination. Because there was just no way she'd yelled at you, right? There was no way she'd broken your long-time friendship. No, she didn't... Right?

You gazed mutely before sighing, turning your back against the room that had welcomed you countless times. You looked ahead, feeling like a ghost as you wandered down the familiar staircase and out of the complex. People nonchalantly bustled past you, unaware and uncaring towards your slumping figure and vacant eyes.

You kept walking and walking until you found a lone bench and plopped down on it. You stayed impassive for the next couple of minutes, ignoring the person that sat a bit too close beside you. You said nothing even when they stretched their hand behind you and slowly caressed the strands that framed your catatonic mien.

“So, what’s freedom feels like?” they inquired. “Is it liberating? Or is it suffocating?”

… Why did you think you could outmaneuver him again? You must’ve gone bonkers somehow.

“I’d be liberated if you disappear from this world.”

Dazai chuckled, a sound too cheerful and high-pitched for your liking. “Oh, you know me so well, dearest,” he said good-naturedly. “But you know it, [Name]. As long as you’re still alive, I’ll never disappear from your life.”

You whipped your head towards him and snapped, “What else do you want from me, Dazai?! Aren’t you happy that you’ve destroyed everything?! Aren’t you happy that you’ve destroyed my friendship?!”

“I wish I am,” he mused and lied his hand on the bench, disregarding your rancor. “but there’s still one thing that I haven’t achieve.” Dazai leaned towards you, nimble fingers stroking your parted lips. “Your love.”

You swiftly grasped his hand before he could insert a finger into your mouth. “And you’re gonna fail, I’ll make sure of it.”

Dazai looked upwards and hummed questioningly, pretending to think about your feeble threat.

“I don’t know, [Name]. You seem pretty clueless right now. Your friends are turning their back on you, and you’ve estranged with your family. How can you ever hope on surviving with such minimal contact? You do realize that humans can’t live without other people, right? So even if you don’t love me, you’ll learn to appreciate my presence. Because I’m the only one left in your life now.”

“You’re crazy.” you spat, scowling at his certitude.

He grinned childishly as if he hadn’t declared his involvement in your estrangement. “I know, but you like me, no?”

Kimi: 貴美

[keanuvibe]

Noses in Roses (John Wick x Reader) Pt. 3

A/N: hi! this is a re-upload! Apparently, this part got deleted and I wasn’t aware, so if you’ve already invested in this series, it is sadly not a new part.

Words: 6k

Warnings: mentions of kidnapping, violence, swears, and childbirth

disclaimer: I am not a medical professional/haven’t experienced giving birth, so all that I wrote in that category is of my own thoughts on how that process works

December 25th - Christmas Day

Cold flakes of snow fluttered their way down to the ground, casting a gray shadow throughout the space. Holiday music played in the back as a minor distraction, but it only soured the mood. You currently sat at the kitchen table, eyes staring out of the window to avoid the bleak surroundings. John and Aurelio were behind you at the counter, discussing. Aurelio ended up staying the night to help. John and him haven't slept, though somehow you managed to squeeze in a couple of anxiety ridden hours. 

Helen took James. She snuck into the home while the boy was unattended and coaxed him to leave. And the fact the three of you were only ten feet away. Just the thought made your lip quiver again. You've already been crying, and finally a couple of hours ago you managed to calm down. The pregnancy hormones didn't help, and the fact you really couldn't do anything to assist the men was frustrating. As much as you loved this baby, she just gets in the way now. 

A large hand gently touching your shoulder caused you to jump, before realizing it was John.

“Sorry,” He murmured. You looked up to greet his standing figure. He looked tired, eyes dark and droopy with sleep. His hair was disheveled, the most you've seen in a while. He still donned his outfit from the night before, but it was wrinkled and askew. 

“You're fine,” Your voice was quiet, “What's up?”

“We think she took him to the Continental.” He spoke, eyes greeting your own.

“Okay, and what is that?” You asked, raising a brow. 

“I forget you don't know that world.”John shook his head, “It’s a hotel where people, in my line of work, stay when on a job.” He spoke carefully. You felt your anxiety peak a little before nodding.

“And that's where he is?” Your voice cracked, but you cleared your throat afterwards. 

“Yes baby, but they can't kill on company grounds. It's the rules. All three of us can go there, you’ll be safe.” The man, without moving you, adjusted your chair to face him better and kneeled in front of your figure.

“I don’t think I should go.” You rushed, shaking your head. 

“James will want to see you. You're a motherly figure to him. He’s told me he likes to cuddle you more.” Your boyfriend gave you a small smile, trying to sway your decision.

“He only likes me more because I currently have a huge rack for him to lay his head on.” You deadpanned. Aurelios muffled laughter echoed from the kitchen area, and John shook his head trying not to chuckle himself. James did like to rest his head on top of your chest, it's just much more squishy and comfortable. You didn't blame the boy for taking advantage of your built in pillows; his father does the same thing. 

“He needs you,” John spoke, his hand resting on your thigh. You sighed, giving in to the gripe.

“Okay, I’ll go. But- I can't be on my feet for long, And once we get back our son; you're taking me to McDonalds.” You huffed. John let out a soft chuckle, standing up and grasping your hand. The man helped you stand as well, steadying your figure as you did so. 

“We can take my truck.” Aurelio commented, rustling his keys. John nodded towards the man, as if thanking him, before grabbing your coat and helping you put it on. 

---

“So, what is she like?” You spoke aloud, not necessarily asking someone specifically. You were stuck in traffic, typical of New York. Aurelio and John sat up front while you sat in the back. The radio was quietly playing a classic rock song, filling the silence between the question and answer.

“She was nice. She took care of us. Patched us up many times and cooked for us after jobs. But after the… accident... she changed.” Aurelio was the first to answer. You glanced at your boyfriend who kept his glare focused outside. His face, from what you could see, didn't hold any emotion. 

“May I ask what the accident was?” You then asked, turning your attention back toward the driver. His eyes quickly looked towards his friend before back at the road. You shifted your sight between the two men, wondering what Aurelio had just silently spoken to your boyfriend. John let out a quiet sigh, knowing it was his turn to speak. 

“She got injured. Nearly killed. Shot in the spine, abdomen, and shoulder. When we got her to the hospital, they didn't think she'd live. She fell into a coma for five weeks before waking up.” He paused, “She got better; but she was different. She was meaner, more malicious with her contracts; using the most painful torture in her method. Dragging out the kill for the sake of pure enjoyment. She wasn't the same Helen.” Music filled the silence as you let John's story soak in. The air felt heavy and thick in the lull of noise.

You leaned forward, gently placing your hand onto John's shoulder and giving it a soft squeeze. You didn't know the man's entire history, mostly from not wanting to intrude, but from what you've gathered; it's been rough. He deserves all the love he receives. 

John gently rested his cheek against your hand, and you smiled softly at the feeling, using your thumb to rub his skin. 

--

Aurelio parked on the side of the street, prompting the three of you to exit the vehicle. John gently placed his hand on the small of your back, guiding your waddling figure towards a large building. A few people shifted in and out of the entrance dressed in black, fancy articles of clothing. It was tall, and the architecture was unique compared to the surrounding buildings. 

Aurelio held open the door and John led the way in, you close behind. The first thing you noticed was the immaculate lobby. A little more than a handful of people were scattered throughout the space. At the sound of the door opening, their eyes studied the three of you making your way to the front desk. You couldn't help but notice their jarring stares pointed towards John, as though they were intimidated.

Your boyfriend kept his eyes pointed towards the man behind the counter; who held a tight grin. 

“Mr. Wick.” The man greeted, also nodding towards Aurelio. His eyes merely glanced at your figure, as you were mostly hiding behind John. 

“Charon.” John spoke in return, “What room is she in?” It wasn't a question, it was a demand. You could tell by his ever so monotone voice. 

“Three-hundred twenty-three.” His accent was though he spoke in cursive. He handed John the room-key, once again scanning his eyes over you and Aurelio. You rest a hand on your belly, rubbing the top self consciously. John put his hand on the small of your back, nodding towards Charon before leading you away from the desk and in the direction of the elevators. 

The three of you remained quiet the entire ride. This was the first elevator you've been in that didn't play music. It was strange to hear only the creak of the wires and squeak of the gears. Your anxiety seemed to raise the same as you did. Every floor you gained, you felt your chest tighten more. You took a silent deep breath, feeling the elevator come to a halt and watch as the doors peeled open. Aurelio stepped out first, John following close behind. You came last, waddling slowly behind the men, letting them stagger ahead first. 

Aurelio quickly approached the door, grabbing the key from John and unlocking the door. You watched as your boyfriend grabbed a pistol from the back of pants, tucked in between his undershirt and jeans, and held it ready. Aurelio nodded at the man before he pushed the door open. John ran in first, his gun raised. The mechanic gestured for you to follow, before going in himself. 

The first thing you saw was James sitting by himself at a small table. Crayons were scattered across the surface, as well as many colored on pages from a coloring book. The rest of the hotel room seemed clean and organized. There were a few things left out, like clothes and personal items. 

“James!” You cried in relief, watching as the boy looked up from his work and smiled; instantly recognizing the three of you. He quickly hopped off the chair, sprinting towards you and John. You knelt down, as fast as you could manage, capturing the boy in an embrace. You could feel as he snuggled his head into your neck, wrapping his arms tightly around your shoulders.

“Hi baby,” You cooed, rubbing his back. Tears threatened to spill over your cheeks, feeling as the boy began to sniffle himself. You gently shushed the cries of his that began to make themselves known, rocking his figure as best you could.

“I missed you,” He hiccuped, muffled in your neck. 

“Oh we missed you too. So much, baby, so much.” You let a few voice cracks escape, still holding James close. 

John and Aurelio shuffled around the room, looking for the woman. However, John’s yell of frustration gave you the suspicion she wasn't here. You could hear the two men speaking in the bathroom, but it was muffled. It sounded heated, however. 

“John?” You called out, standing up. James kept his arms wrapped tightly around your waist, head resting against your body. Both Aurelio and John emerged, anger sketched across their faces. 

“Can we go?” You asked, gesturing to the boy attached to your body. Your boyfriends eyes softened at the sight of his son clung tightly to you and nodded, giving one last look around the hotel room. 

--

The weight of James’ figure squished your own, but you didn't let the discomfort bother you too much. You were just glad to have him back in your arms; on Christmas. John had lit the fireplace, leaving you and James to snuggle while he sat next to your figures. 

Helen got away. Well, they don't know where she went, but she got away nonetheless. You could see the visible frustration radiating from your boyfriend's body. Him not confronting her now means she's only going to come back later. What if she comes when you're alone? or worse; alone with the baby. It's John’s responsibility to protect James, and he failed. Now, he has to protect you and a baby as well. It's obvious he has a lot on his mind currently. 

After all of you returned to Johns home safely, Aurelio left. He decided to give you some family time to recover from the events. He also promised he'd get a jumpstart on finding her whereabouts, almost commanding John to take some time off for the two of you; Just until they had a solid lead. While in the bathroom together, back at the hotel, they discussed what John feared the most; killing Helen. 

Aurelio made the point that her illness, since the accident, is only presenting to get worse. She's showing no signs of healing. Her mind is so twisted and sick, he only wanted to get her help. It hurts John so deeply to have it come to this. He didn't want to kill the mother of his son. 

“I think he’s asleep,” You hummed quietly, gaterthing John's attention. His eyes smiled upon seeing his son sleeping soundly, head resting on your chest.

“Do you want me to carry him to bed?” John whispered, scooting closer to your figures and getting ready to scoop up the boy. You sat up so he had a better angle and watched as your boyfriend scooped his son effortlessly. You stood up afterwards, following him to James’ room. Watching from the door, you witnessed as John gently laid the boy down, tucking the blankets over his little body. The man kissed the top of his son's head, prompting a smile to cover your cheeks. 

John stood back up and made his way towards the door, first leaning down and turning on James’ Spider-Man themed night light. You stepped aside, allowing space for the man as he exited the room, resting your hand on top of your belly. John emerged, eyes softening at the sight of you. 

“Hi,” He spoke barely above a whisper. You smiled in response, rubbing the side of your tummy the baby was kicking. He placed a hand on your lower back, kissing the top of your head before guiding you towards his bedroom.  

“What a day we've had.” You murmured, hands resting on your bump as you waddled through the door and towards your side of the bed. 

“Let’s just be glad it's over. For now. And James is safe. I’m going to have a few friends I know install a better security system as soon as I can.” He paused, looking over in your direction momentarily, “We need to focus on us now, on you and our new baby.” John finished, slipping out of his day clothes, having already set out his pajamas. 

You took the moment to admire your boyfriend. His strong arms, in particular his biceps, always gave you a tingle. His still toned torso with a bit of dad chub caused you to bite your lip, and the dark trail of hair that led to his crotch made the tingle sensation intensify. 

“Any day now and she could arrive.” You hummed, blinking away the thirsty thoughts. “It’s kind of frightening.” 

“You shouldn't be scared.” John quickly chimed, walking to your side and easing you to sit. He began undressing for you, helping you get changed to your comfortable pajamas. 

“It gives me anxiety; the thought of the pain and being a mother so soon. My chest gets all-” You paused, squeezing your fist closed and holding it up “-tight.” 

“I can’t protect you from the pain.” Your boyfriend began, “But you can hurt me as much as you need to, to get through it. Break my hand and whatnot.” He humored towards the end. You chuckled, shaking your head. 

“I appreciate it, baby. I’ll definitely need you. Because, honestly,” You paused, feeling a little somber emotion pass through, “I don’t think I could do this alone.” John didn't answer immediately, instead; he kissed the top of your head, sitting on the bed next to your and pulling you into a hug.

“I love you, (Y/N).” John's deep voice caused chills to over your body and a smile to creep on your face. This was the first time John has told you. 

“I love you too, John.” You answered, raising your hand and pulling the man in for a kiss by gently leading his chin. His beard scratched your cheeks, but you loved the sensation. 

--

January 3rd - 8:17am

Dull gray snowflakes fell outside as the dawn had lightened the sky just enough to reveal snowfall from the night before. A quiet sigh fell past your lips as you blew onto the mug of decaf coffee in your grasp. Taking a sip, the hot beverage seared down your throat and warmed up your chilly figure. Your free hand gently rubbed your large belly, feeling the baby kicking staggardly but repeatedly. 

It’d been over a week since James’ kidnapping. Helen hadn't made herself known again, and a source at the hotel had told John that she left. Aurelio has no whereabouts on the woman either. She seems to have left town. Or at least, gone into hiding. John expressed that she may come back. However, just as promised, he had the new security system installed a few days ago. 

James hasn't left yours or John's sight since, either. When he isn't asleep, he's always with one of you. It was fun though, you played games and made crafts. Mostly things that didn't require you to stand up. He helped you add final touches to the nursery as well; picking out toys and stuffed animals online. 

He didn't seem to be too affected by the kidnapping, either. Which was good. There have been a few nights when he's come in and snuggled between you, your pregnancy pillow, and John. But, the next morning he's back to his cheery self.

A slight cramp in your lower belly caught your attention and you groaned from the pain, adjusting your position at the kitchen table. Pelvic pains, or lower abdomen pain in general, aren't a new thing; being the fact that you're due in a little under a week. This one felt different though, more along the lines of a period cramp. The doctor warned that contractions will start to get more painful as your body prepares for birth; It’s a sign of labor. She also told you not to come until there are at least seven minutes between the cramps. Something about new moms trying to be admitted when they're only one centimeter dilated. 

“Morning,” A sleep James’ voice distracted your thoughts and you turned your head to see the boy entering the kitchen, rubbing his eyes tiredly. 

“Good morning, Honey.” You smiled. He tiredly stomped over to your sitting figure and sat in the chair next to your own. 

“Can I get you some juice?” You asked softly, gently combing some hair from his eyes. 

“Do we have any apple juice?” He mumbled, yawning at the end. You nodded, standing up with a huff and waddling towards the fridge. 

“You should be sitting.” John's deep voice echoed throughout the space and you turned to see your boyfriend leaning against the doorframe with a small smile. To keep in shape, John had started going on early morning jogs. You argued he didn't need to, enjoying the minor holiday chub that barely changed his appearance. But he still went this morning, leaving around six. He must've just gotten home. 

“Sitting hurts too. Everything hurts. I’m ready for this baby to get out.” You hummed at the end, opening the appliance in front of you and grabbing the apple juice. You heard as John grabbed James’ cup and turned to see him holding it out for you. 

“How do you feel today?” He asked softly as you grabbed the cup. 

“I slept a total of four hours last night, and I'm pretty sure I experienced my first real contraction.” You replied, pouring the drink before waddling back to the table and giving the cup to James.

“Contractions already?” Your boyfriend commented, grabbing a peach from the fruit bowl and began slicing the skin off. 

“Baby, I've been having contractions for a couple weeks now. This one was like… actual labor, I think.” You spoke, sitting back down at the table and sipping your coffee. 

“You're not freaking out?” John humored, joining you and James at the table. He lovingly placed a hand on the side of your belly, giving it a slight rub with his thumb before pulling away. 

“Nope, the doctor advised against that,” You began, “Darling, you read the book with me. You should know, when they get in between that five to seven minute range, it’s go time.” You smiled softly at him, feeling another contraction beginning to rear its ugly head. 

“What’s a contraction?” James’ tiny voice echoed. He’d been so quiet drinking his juice, you'd nearly forgotten he was there. 

“Oh, it’s when a baby inside a mommy tells her ‘Hey! I’m ready to come out!’.” You gently explained. Your time as an elementary school teacher has given you experience explaining complicated subjects to children. John even seemed impressed at your silly explanation. He grabbed your hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, intertwining your fingers.

“Oh. Is your baby wanting to come out?” He asked innocently. You nodded with a smile, rubbing your belly. The cramp was starting to gain momentum, becoming more painful by the second before releasing and calming down to normal. You hadn't noticed that you squeezed John’s hand; but you released with an apologetic smile. He dismissed it quietly, giving you a squeeze of reassurance in return. 

“Yes, she is.” You smiled, “Are you excited to meet her?” You then questioned.

“I get to meet her?” He questioned, perking up. Both you and John nodded, causing the boy to squeal from excitement. 

-- 

“Oh, whoa.” You quickly exhaled, leaning onto the wall as a strong contraction hit. It’s only been three hours since they actually began, but the pain has grown with each passing one. Not to forget, your water broke only five minutes ago. You hadn't told John yet; actually, you were on your way to find him when the contraction started. 

“Are you okay?” James’ quiet voice innocently asked, walking up behind you. You looked down at the sweet boy, nodding in pain. 

“Yeah baby, I’m okay.” You managed to murmur. The boy gently pat your arm, trying to give comfort, even though he didn't really understand what you were going through. 

“Where's dad?” You questioned, letting out a breath you'd been holding as the contraction passed. You gently ran your fingers through his hair, clearing his vision.  

“He’s downstairs.” He smiled, fiddling with a toy helicopter he had in his grasp. You nodded and waddled your way towards the basement stairs. Somehow, you carefully and safely got to the bottom step, turning to see your boyfriend sat at the little book binding desk.

“John?” You questioned, causing the man to turn around. 

“How did you get down the stairs?” He questioned genuinely, standing up and quickly stepping over to you. The man gently placed his hand onto your back, guiding you towards the chair he’d been sitting in and sat you into it.

“Slowly.” You commented with a sigh, placing a hand over your belly. 

“Did you change?” He questioned, eyes scanning you over.

“Oh, yeah,” You shrugged, “My water broke.” John's silence caused you to glance at him. You could see he was holding back a comment, as you asked him to earlier. The reason he came to the basement in the first place was because you kept refusing his attempts to take you to the hospital, and he got frustrated. 

“What?” You pursued, leaning forward. 

“I just think we should go take a look-” John began, but you cut him off. 

“Baby, I’m fine- OH.” Another painful contraction stung your abdomen and lower back, cutting off whatever else you were about to say. John's hands quickly found themselves on your body; one rubbing your back, the other giving your hand something to squeeze. Your boyfriend helped you breathe through the contraction, whispering words of endearment as he did so. The pain ended soon enough, allowing you to exhale in relief. 

“How many minutes was that?” He questioned, tucking  a few strands of hair behind your ear. 

“That was eight.” You answered, looking at an old clock John had hung. Nerves fluttered across your stomach, however a smile grew across your boyfriends face.

“We're so close, please, Let’s go have a baby.” John spoke softly, kneeling in front of your figure and gently placing his hand on your bump. 

“John- I’m… I’m scared.” You whispered after a few moments of silence. The man had been preoccupied loving on your bump before you interrupted. Your boyfriends dark eyes met your own, softening at the sight of your fearful expression. He kept eye contact as he grasped your hand into his own and kissed the top of it. 

“(Y/N), I will be right by your side the entire time. It’s going to suck, and be painful. But, darling,” John paused, his fingers gently brushing your cheek, “We’re going to have a little girl.” 

Soft tears prickled your eyes as the hormones took over and you nodded, sniffling in the process. John’s tenderness and promise of protection only eased your fears. It was time to go have a baby. 

--

The snow falling outside cast gray hues into the room; contrasting with the fluorescent lighting. It was quiet; not even the TV was on. The only noises that echoed were the sounds of the busy city hospital outside, and the beeps of the machines monitoring your vitals. 

A wave of pain caused you to groan as you leaned over an exercise ball the hospital provided you for comfort. John's gentle words of encouragement only angered your pained self, but you held it down; knowing he was only trying to help and you're only agitated by being in incredible pain.

It’s been almost four hours since you arrived at the hospital. Your progression is going well; you’re seven centimeters dilated now. The nurse that's been monitoring you said she's never seen a first time mother dilate so quickly. John hasn't left your side; save to get you water. 

It kind of blew your mind- when you actually had a moment of clarity between contractions- looking back on yours and John's story. Your boyfriend was standing near the window, gazing out at the snow storm when it all hit you. You are in love with John Wick. The man who literally kills people as his career, but is the most loving and gentle soul to the people and creatures he cares about. John stepped up for you, took care of you and your baby unprompted, helped you come to terms with your husband's death and gave you a new life to start. Becoming a mother figure to James was a sweeter part of the situation. Even as only his teacher, pre John; you had a soft spot for him.

As for James’ whereabouts; John texted Aurelio to watch the boy for the time being; and bring him after the baby has been born. The two of you agreed you didn't want him to be stuck at the hospital, when Aurelio could entertain him. 

“When do I get the epidural?” You moaned, trying to position yourself on the ball so the pain would ease. 

“Well, I think now would be okay. You seem to be chugging along with no hiccups.” The nurse answered, walking into the room just as you complained. 

“Thank god,” You exhaled as the contraction passed. John helped you stand and kept you balanced as you waddled to the bed, then climbed on. 

“I need to go gather the supplies, I’ll be right back, Honey.” The nurse spoke gently, prompting you to nod at her in response. The sound of the hospital room door closing echoed around the quiet space and you let out a sigh, leaning back on the bed. 

“You look so beautiful.” John murmured, standing beside you. His hand gently raised and pushed away some sweat-soaked locks that covered your eyes. 

“I feel awful.” You glared at the man. He discarded away your negativity, leaning forward and kissing your sweaty forehead. Another contraction began to pain you once again, prompting you to squeeze your eyes shut from the unpleasant sensation. John felt as you held his hand tightly, but you barely hurt him. His hands have been through worse over the years. 

--

The nurse returned shortly after your contraction ended. She pushed in a small tray carrying the needed instruments, quickly pulling on gloves and setting up the shot. John helped you position so you sat up with your feet hanging off the side of the bed; making sure the hospital gown still covered your front.

“You're going to feel a painful pinch, hardly compared to what you've been feeling.” The nurse spoke, rolling the tray behind you. The sounds of her fussing with the needle and instrument gave you a mild anxiety. John stood by your side, holding your hand as you gripped his tightly.  

“First time?” She asked after a few moments, rubbing a small alcohol soaked napkin onto the spot she was going to pierce. 

“Yeah,” You murmured, squirming at the cold feeling and looking up towards John. His eyes softened, moving from glaring at the large needle to meeting your gaze. 

“I remember my first baby.” The nurse spoke, making small talk as a distraction, “He was ten pounds with a big head.” You felt as the needle pinched your skin, causing you to whimper and grab your boyfriend's hand tighter. John kissed the top of your head just as the nurse removed the instrument, tossing it into the designated trash bin. 

“That sounds like a nightmare.” You breathed, relaxing slightly and finally getting a good look at the nurse. She was older, donned white hair that'd been styled into a long braid over her shoulder. She also wore pink scrubs, with little flowers patterning the fabric. 

“Now he’s six foot three and plays college football. The first baby is always so special, do you know the gender?” She smiled, cleaning up the remaining items. Her eyes looked up, watching as John closed your hospital gown. She noted the maturity across your boyfriend's face, and how much younger you seemed. It caused her to furrow her brow a bit, questioning how you ended up together. 

“It’s a girl.” You rubbed the top of your belly; ignoring the dull throb from the epidural.

“You two must be very excited.” She mused, shucking her gloves off and tossing them into the trash. 

“More ready for it to be over, at this point.” You chuckled dryly, laying back into a semi-comfortable position. The older woman gave you a look of pity, but followed with a few encouraging words before grabbing the tray she came with and leaving the room. 

--

The epidural acted quickly, numbing you from your pelvis down. John had to carry you back to the bed after you'd taken a short lap around the hospital, due to the shot kicking in. The nurse recommended that you take a walk to help things progress along as the epidural kicks in, but you didn't expect to not be able to use your legs halfway through. Your boyfriend lovingly carried you the remainder of the lap, extremely gentle with his movements. 

Three short knocks distracted you from a minor contraction as a different nurse from earlier walked back in. She smiled warmly at you and John, greeting the two of you. 

“How’re you miss (Y/L/N)?” She nodded, quickly washing her hands and pulling on gloves.

“Tired,” You exhaled, looking towards the woman. She was younger than the last nurse; probably closer to your age, thirty-two. 

“Oh, honey, you're not even to the thick of it.” She mused, approaching your figure. “Dad, if I could have you place mom’s legs in the stirrups. I’m going to check how dilated you are, sweetie.” Her arms waved at John, encouraging him. The man was quick to do so, returning to your side by the top of the bed. 

Thankfully, you couldn't feel anything as she got to work; the epidural kicking in nicely. John gently pushed some sweat soaked strands from your face, eyes scanning over your face lovingly.

 He secretly loved that the nurse called him ‘Dad’ and you ‘Mom’. It felt right; as though everything had fallen into place perfectly. After Helen left him and Jame, he didn't expect to find someone again. Someone who made him feel again. He was glad that nanny didn't show up to school to pick up James that afternoon; He was glad that he met you, the wonderful Miss (Y/L/N). Your baby was an added bonus. He had a little family now- a whole family. 

“Alright Missy, you are a full ten!” The nurse smiled, standing up and shucking off the gloves. “You are ready to go!” Your heart began to race and you sat up as best you could manage in the bed, with your legs being numb and in stirrups. ready to go? Are you actually ready to give birth? Your eyes met John's full of fear. His face softened, noting the horror sketched across your own. His hand gently ran across your cheek as he leaned down, kissing your forehead. 

“Let’s go have a baby.” John's voice calmed you instantly, knowing this man was by your side for good. 

The nurse called other staffers to begin the process. Firstly, they moved you to the delivery room; pulling on face and hair masks. You requested that John stayed in with you, forcing him to change into the big green smock and a face mask with his hair pulled back into a small bun. It was kind of cute. 

The staff got into their positions quickly. Two nurses stood by your legs that were spread in stirrups, the doctor was in between them, ready to command you to push. A few others stood in the background, ready to take the baby for the initial testing and cleaning once born. 

“Okay, (Y/N), I want you to push on three, two, one!” The doctor's voice was loud, startling you into pushing. Pain, like no other, seared through the spots the epidural hadn't hit. All your mind could focus on now was getting this baby out, and getting her out as soon as possible. John stood by your side, words of encouragement hammering your ears as you death gripped his hand and the bed railing. 

It was all overwhelming; the staff yelling at you to push, John’s constant string of positivity, the fact there's a baby coming out of your body. Your instincts told you to ignore the sounds and try to remain focused on your baby. Following your contractions, you pushed, and pushed, and pushed. 

What felt like twenty minutes had passed, but in reality it was only a short time. The feeling of pressure being released and the warm weight of the baby pressed against your nearly bare chest immediately brought you to tears. She was here, your baby was here. 

“Dad, want to cut the cord?” The nurse from earlier asked, handing John the scissors. He looked at you for a brief second; silently asking permission. You nodded, and the man quickly got to work. Your daughter's first cries erupted across the room, however a nurse grabbed her from your chest gently, taking her over to perform the quick testing they have to do. 

“I’m so proud of you,” John’s voice broke as he spoke and your hazy eyes glazed over his face. Little glimmers of tears were evident in his dark eyes, just shy of spilling. “I love you, (Y/N).” 

--

“Hmm, how does Mary sound?” You questioned, your pointer finger gently playing with the bottom lip of your baby as she slept in your arms. It’s been three hours since you gave birth. Since then, James, and Aurelio, have been to visit the new baby. James loves his new baby sister- which he called her himself, Neither you or John told him to.

“She looks like a Peggie to me.” John commented, fingers ever so gently playing with a black tuft of hair atop her head. Your ex-husband had dark black hair; you're secretly glad she got that trait.

“That’s such a granny name.” You giggled, looking up to your boyfriend, “You're such an old man.” John faked hurt at the comment but chuckled it off. James stood by his father, eyes widely looking at the new baby. He was excited about her, excited to be a big brother as well.

“I’ve always liked Heather?” You suggested next. John didn't make an immediate comment, instead looking at the chubby cheeks of his new baby. A little smile crossed his cheeks and he nodded. 

“Yes, Heather. I like it.” He smiled. You gently offered for him to grab the baby, and he complied. She looked so tiny in his grasp, like a little doll. Your heart swelled with love upon seeing your boyfriend holding and showing off Heather to James. You have a family now. 

Despite the awful things that happened over the past year, things worked out in the end. What mattered most was that right now, the three- now four- of you were happy.

[mrsren]

Could you do a Tom+Hermione fic rec please? I’m just starting to get into it and I’ve read some good ones but I’d always love more (can never have too many fics you know?)

Tom Riddle/Hermione Granger is my OTP, and I haven’t read all the fics that are about them, but I’ve read a healthy amount. After writing out this rec list, I realized that I didn’t organize the categories very well, but I hope you find something you enjoy! I included the summaries as well. 

I tried to tag the users I know, but tumblr was not working with me. If the links are formatted incorrectly, I’ll fix them after work. 

If you’re looking for more organized asks, check out tomionefinds! They’re fantastic.

If you’re looking for fics over 100k that are currently completed:

Somewhere In Time by Serpent In Red

Sent back in time by a mysterious person and trapped in the past with a missing Dumbledore and an overbearing, charismatic Dark Lord, they had no idea how much they could dabble with before the world they had known shattered into pieces.

All the Wrong Choices by Queen of Dreamers 

Hermione is kidnapped by Severus Snape and taken to Lord Voldemort, who behaves in a bizarrely familiar manner with Hermione. When she's rocketed back in time by Voldemort, she realises just why he knew her so well in the 1990s - it was because he'd known her very well indeed, as Tom Riddle, in an entirely different time. She had to go back because she'd been there. Re-upload.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12803416/1/All-the-Wrong-Choices

Serpentine Moves by betagyre 

Medieval Norman Conquest AU.

Fourteen years after eloping with a Muggle, Merope Riddle, of an English wizarding noble family, discovers that she and her son are the last of the line, so she petitions for her title and fiefdom back. Meanwhile Lord and Lady Granger are minor nobility who want their daughter taught magic, but Lord Malfoy, appointed by William the Conqueror to rule English wizards, won’t allow an unattached Muggle-born to study alongside young purebloods at Hogwarts. Merope and the Grangers make common cause and betroth their children, thwarting him for now. But war is coming, and a long, dark path lies ahead.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11078427

Nightmare by provocative_envy

A broken time turner shouldn't have sent me back so far. It was unprecedented. Stepping on it--smashing it--nothing should have happened. At most, I should have lost a week. At worst, I should have disappeared altogether. I shouldn't have traveled back fifty-two years; half a bloody century.

This should not have happened.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/805856/chapters/1520166

School Days by meowmers 

They meet on the playground. Ron told her that if she doesn't fight for herself no one will ever leave her alone so she's just trying to follow his advice. "Are you crying?" He asks. She musters all the fury in her 7-year-old body and channels it into her voice when she speaks through the tears. "So what? I'll still kick your arse." Tomione. AU. Rated M for future chapters.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12020392/1/School-Days

unsphere the stars by cocoartist

When you can't change time, but you can't go forward, what is left? Hermione learns how to be the protagonist of her own story. [Tomione] COMPLETE!

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7728303/1/unsphere-the-stars

Pygmalion by colubrina

When Tom Riddle walked through a doorway one fall afternoon everything changed and he found himself in a world wholly unprepared for him. "Something about you makes my brain itch," Hermione Granger said. "As if an earthquake had shifted everything sharply two feet to the left and then back again and it didn't all fit back quite right." Tomione. AU. COMPLETE.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11248015/1/Pygmalion

Choosing Grey by betagyre 

Hermione has always been a warrior for the Light. But when an attempt to salvage more than a Pyrrhic victory lands her in 1944, she quickly realizes that sometimes it is best to allow a lesser evil to flourish, because defeating it only creates the conditions for a greater one to rise. With conspiracies, schemes, and difficult choices in every corner, and a charismatic young Tom Riddle who is increasingly interested in her, she will eventually have to answer the question: How much darkness and grey in him can she accept?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5121731/chapters/11782721

And the sequel, A Marked Deck by betagyre 

Minister for Magic Tom Riddle has a family and a position of immense political power, and he must adapt to the responsibility that comes with both. But Hermione has much to adjust to as well, married to someone who is still very much a power-hungry Dark wizard. Follows Choosing Grey.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6638233/chapters/15186799

If you are looking for fics less than 100k. (After making this list, I realized this wasn’t the best way to break it up. Whoops.) 

Blitz by crochetaway 

Tom Riddle charms everyone, but he hates Hermione Granger because she's a bossy, know-it-all; until she does something impossible and Tom is desperate to know how she did it... because he can do impossible things too. As a Muggle war rages outside of Britains' borders, Tom and Hermione attend Hogwarts and navigate the wizarding world and it's xenophobic politics the best way they know how. When Grindelwald's rise threatens to overshadow them all, what will Tom and Hermione do to survive? And will they change the fabric of the wizarding world while they do it? Complete!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19845391/chapters/46993501

The Experiment by thekarmapolice 

She entered his shop one rainy afternoon.

A Tomione story. AU.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11013591/chapters/24540165#workskin

Besotted by Sharkdiver1980

A story in which Lord Voldemort is accidentally given a love potion meant for Bellatrix Lestrange, by none other than his faithful servant, Wormtail. When said love potion is ingested while interrogating a prisoner, all hell breaks loose. HG/LV

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7368442/chapters/16736299

Dark Seduction by crochetaway 

As Tom Riddle is hunting for the diadem in Albania, he stumbles across a strange artifact he's never seen before. Hermione Granger is a lowly Ministry employee on vacation in the mountains of Albania. She's found the perfect cabin for a week of relaxing, hiking and reading. Until a stranger shows up in her living room. Wearing a time-turner. Complete!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15949214/chapters/37193711

Linen Rope by Brightki 

Hermione is an upper sixth student at the highly elite Hogwarts School, and she needs extra hours working in the school’s science labs for her pre-admission to Oxford the next year. However, she has to get the approval from the chemistry teacher, Dr. Snape, as well as the support of the man in charge of the science department - Dr. Tom Riddle. *NOW COMPLETE*

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4108204/chapters/9257791#workskin

A Big Ball is Wibbly-Wobbly by Colubrina

The war is over, the good guys have won, and Hermione Granger goes to sleep in her lovely flat only to wake up in 1953 in the bed of someone she'd really much rather were dead. "I'm working on the 'kill Lord Voldemort now, work out the temporal paradox issues later' plan," she tells him. He laughs. Tomione. COMPLETE. 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11508846/1/A-Big-Ball-of-Wibbly-Wobbly

Anamoran by crochetaway 

Tom Riddle finds a mysterious girl on the steps of Hogwarts. When he finds out she's from the future, he decides he can't live without her. Written for the very first Tomione Fest hosted by Tomione Fanfics on FB!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13091940/chapters/29951430

Tempora Abducto by Flaignhan

Inconveniently it's the things that need fixing the most which are often irreparable.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5500156/1/Tempora-Abducto

Just Another Girl Alone at the Bar by elbowless-rubber-duck

“Oh Ron-Ron, you're too funny," a feminine voice says, giggling. Hermione thinks she might vomit. In which Hermione pretends Tom is her boyfriend until he actually is.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11871950/1/Just-Another-Girl-Alone-at-the-Bar

If you’re looking for oneshots, these are my favorites. 

Not Friends, Some Benefits by devdevlin 

She hated the way he never asked for his coffee, instead outstretching a wide palm as he passed her desk in the morning as if getting it for him was her first priority of the day.

She hated the way his overpriced shoes would click obnoxiously against the floors whenever he passed.

She absolutely loathed the way the others in the firm would hang onto his every word, vying for his attention as if he were some sort of celebrity, as if they would better themselves by merely being seen to associate with him.

But what she hated the very most about Tom Riddle, was that he was an unbelievable fuck.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21657055

The Summoning by Lovely Villain 

Hermione never meant for this to happen. No one was supposed to get hurt. She was summoning an Angel after all...

She forgot to read the fine print.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15843480

Tainted by nekositting 

“I’ve been curious.”

“Oh?” Hermione inquired with a lift of a brow, a spark of adrenaline bolting through her at the heat in his eyes. He was aroused even if she couldn’t tell apart his pupils from the rest of his irises. His cheeks had taken on a flushed hue, and his mouth—

His teeth caught his bottom lip before letting it go.

Hermione’s insides warmed, anticipating what it was he was about to say.

“What is the most sexually deviant thing you’ve ever done?”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18114545

Shattered Glass by betagyre 

As Head of Magical Law Enforcement, Tom has been up to no good, and Hermione is irritated about it. She decides to try an experiment with him involving a different outlet for power… and he is delighted at the idea.

Occurs during early events of A Marked Deck. Part of the same AU but a separate fic for tag reasons.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7018264

Ringing Satan’s Doorbell by PenelopeGrace 

Instead of designing weapons for humanity, Satan keeps hearing a persistent call from the girl-next-door.

Demons AU + Tomione

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14692209

Youth In Retrospect by provocative_envy

She’s buying a box of condoms when she meets him.

“Those are shit, you know,” he says, jerking his chin at the pale purple box in her hand. “Can’t feel anything.”

She stares at him for a moment too long. The bell above the door jingles merrily as a rowdy group of schoolboys enters the store.

“Excuse you,” she replies, cheeks turning pink.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2889506

The Graduates by Orphicus [triad + Draco]

Hermione is having a difficult time controlling her raging libido around her two hot roommates/best friends-Draco Malfoy and Tom Riddle. But it soon turns out she isn't the only one who wants a good shag. Threesome. DMHGTR. Smut. AU.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11659126/1/The-Graduates

Peeping Tom by Nekositting 

“Tom.”

Hermione blinked through the haze, confusion and something like annoyance replacing it.

What did that even mean?

“My name. It’s best you become familiar with it now because you will be screaming it rather shortly.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16733037

Be My Blood by LadyKenz347 

Hermione travels back in time to change the course of history.

An AU for MrsRen's day of birth!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19786201

Mr. Riddle by dreamsofdramione

Girls like Hermione Granger don’t belong in places like Felix Felicius. 

Girls like Hermione belong in posh tea houses with their ankles primly crossed and their pinkies extended as they took delicate sips of tasteless teas, feigning interest in whatever society gossip the gaggle of her peers were circulating that day.

Girls like Hermione were raised to be prim and proper, to lay napkins across their lips at their meals, and make polite conversation with strangers even if it bored them to tears. 

Yet, despite her social status as a wellborn English girl, Hermione craved the daring edge of ruffling feathers, of uncrossing those tired ankles and spreading her legs wide in the dim light of clubs well past any semblance of a decent hour.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21617293

Philophobia by weestarmeggie 

Or five times it was just sex and the one time it wasn't.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16041974

She Noticed Him In First Year by weestarmeggie

Hermione noticed Tom in first year, not when he started playing quidditch, which is when everyone else seemed to notice him too.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13431633

This is my TBR list. Some have been started, some have not, but I’m looking forward to all of them! 

The Department of Magical Law Enforcement by devdevlin

What if Voldemort survived the Battle of Hogwarts? Flight instead of fight? Seven years after the Battle of Hogwarts, Hermione is appointed to the team given the task of tracking him down. But when an attractive young man, who Harry is strangely suspicious of, is appointed as her boss, things quickly get out of hand…

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13162611

peccatophilia by LovelyVillain 

Hermione has a terrible secret, the past won’t let her go. Neither will her brother. A tale of obsession told in three parts.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15881256/chapters/37004997

Madam Umbridge Home for Wayward Girls by LovelyVillain 

Hermione’s life takes a dark turn after the death of her parents, leaving her at the mercy of a tyrannical Matron. Her new home is more prison than sanctuary, haunted by ghosts bearing terrible, bloody secrets. And though she's surrounded by troubled young women, it’s the men in her life who teach her freedom comes at the greatest price of all.

Victorian AU, Tomione, Dramione, no triad

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15176684/chapters/35195090

Stepbrother by cherry-cup 

AU. The Grangers adopt a young Tom Riddle, and seal their daughter's fate forever. Set in the 30s-40s.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11185107/1/Stepbrother

Fostering A Nightmare by Ninja Fairy 

A ten-year-old foster child named Tom Riddle showed up on the Granger's front doorstep with his social worker in the summer of 1990. Hermione spent the following years adjusting to life with her new foster brother; so, she never realized how often he kept an eye on her. "I've always watched you, Hermione; and you've always been mine." [Magical AU]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12169509/chapters/27621588#workskin

Two Steps From Hell by ssserpenssotia

The road to hell is often paved with good intentions. LV/HG, Complete

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10946650/1/Two-Steps-From-Hell

Daddy Dearest by ImmortalObsession 

It is 1895 in England. Purebloods are the supremacy. Dumbledore rules them all. Lord Malfoy, one of his many devout followers, has a daughter no one has ever seen. The daughter herself, Hermione Malfoy, never questions the strict rules standing between her and everyone else – that is, until Master Riddle arrives and makes her think twice. AU/OOC/Rated M for dark themes.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9219929/1/Daddy-Dearest

Renatus by frozenbeans

“His name is Professor Riddle, and at least for now, no matter who you ask, nobody knows anything more. Professor Riddle, the new Defence Against the Dark Arts Teacher.”

[Golden Trio Era Professor Riddle AU]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14655447/chapters/33857754

His Persephone by Reneehart 

Hermione Granger is in a losing war, one causing the world to fall apart at the seams. Ever since the Battle of Hogwarts, things have only grown more dim, with Voldemort creating even more horcruxes and his army growing larger still. The order has been disbanded and those she loved are either dead or soon to be dead. But even when the world is at its darkest, light will find a way to break free, and she may be the key to turning the war around- long before it took a turn for the worst.

"1943? And you'd like me to...kill Tom Riddle?" Dumbledore shook his head, that annoying twinkle glowing thrice as bright as before. "No, my dear. I'd like you to join him."

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5286116/chapters/12202283#workskin

Please, Save Me by winterblume

AU Tomione. No time travel no time turners. - 'Are you not scared of him? Tom Riddle has got a rather peculiar reputation. But I'm sure it's all stupid talk. He's Head Boy after all.' - 'What kind of a reputation' - 'Er… he's… well, he seems kinda dark.'

https://archiveofourown.org/works/420241/chapters/700341

[peeterparkr]

limits of desire⤳t.h.||2

chapter two: make a guest list

MADE OF HONOR|AU

So, after that photoshoot, I decided to get back on my shit. I’m re-uploading it, editing it and changing a few things. Yes, I’ve posted this fic before but I feel like I’ve grown as a writer and it’s a fic with so much more potential.

story summary: you met Tom a night he was trying to sleep with you, it didn’t work and you became best of friends. Wedding bells might be ringing for when you both realize what you really feel.

summary: the one with the graduation, and with Tom and Y/N knowing they both have thought about it. 

pairing: fuckboy!tom holland x best friend!reader

warnings: alcohol , swearing, graduation

word count: 6k (wow)

As usual tell me what you think

previous chapter

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series masterlist

4 years later. 

Tom’s phone was vibrating as the Spider-Man ringtone was playing. He tried to open his eyes but was too tired, he rubbed them as he tried to get off the woman that was kindly resting of his bare chest. Her hair was falling down on his shoulders and her fingers were caressing his arm. She moved while Tom, midst yawns, turned off his alarm. 

He opened his eyes and looked at the time. 

“Shit!” He quickly hopped off the bed letting the girl fall flat on the white blankets. He kept cursing under his breath while putting on his pants. “Hmm, where are you going?” The just awoken girl asked, confused by the lack of warmth she was faced with. She covered herself and reached out for his hand, impeding him from putting on his shirt and pulling him back beside her. She danced her fingers over his chest from behind, causing a paused laughter from Tom. 

He smirked and rolled his eyes. “I’m leaving.” “Just like that?” She asked. “So soon?” “Yep.”  “Oh, I thought we were gonna grab breakfast and arrive together,” she complained and then placed a kiss on his shoulder. “Please sweetheart, I’ve got more important things to do,” he admitted. “And we both know that your boyfriend won’t be happy. Neither won’t y/n.” “What if I call you later?” She offered. “We could hang out after it.” “You perfectly know I won’t answer, no back-to-back’s, remember? besides, what for? We both got what we wanted, already.” Tom pushed her arms away, turning around to wink at her. “I guess I don’t have to say this anymore, right? the whole congratulations! You’ve slept with a celebrity,” he rolled his eyes as he put on his shirt. “But-” Before she could say anything, he walked back to place a finger over her lips. “Tom.” “No buts, I’m leaving, Rach,” he leaned over to kiss her but she frowned, pushing his face away. 

“You’re an ass,” she stated. 

Tom chuckled, “Good thing you were really into mine, last night, huh?” Tom shrugged while he picked up his stuff. “Get out.” “And what do you think I’m doing, darling?” Tom walked out of her room and headed to the kitchen. He opened up the fridge and got out a juice box, he didn’t even care about pulling out a glass as he drank it straight from the box. “What do you think you’re doing?” Rachel asked him. “I’m thirsty, you know, I thought I told you you should buy the organic one instead, tastes better, next time I guess,” Tom answered with poor elegance as he handed the box back, now empty, while saluting with his two fingers, walking to the door. “Buy-bye, I hope we can do this again. See you later.” The girl screamed, kicked and slapped the door shut right behind him. “Guess not.” Tom let out a little cynical snicker while getting out. It could have been worse, he didn’t care, he knew he could call her up in a week or two and she’d answer. Tom called Harrison. “Hey, man, need a favour, would you please go and pick up the flowers I ordered? K. Cool, thanks, see ya there, can’t run late.” 

“You’re already late,” Harrison had stated before hanging up. Tom quickly hopped into his motorcycle while heading home. He had little time for what came next and he needed to look impeccable. He was riding through the busy and crowded streets of London, dedicating smiles to whoever recognized him. Gosh, even if he was wearing whatever he was wearing the day before, he looked so damn good. His ‘walk of shame’ made everyone else’s more shameful than they already were. 

Thing was, he knew it. He was perfectly aware that his Bad Boy appearance wasn’t strong enough to outshine his good and innocent boy facade. But at the same time, it gave everyone a chance to use their imagination and just try to figure him out. Only the people surrounding him knew he was indeed, the best friend they could ask for, they figured he was a good lover, too, but never someone to even try to get into a relationship with, that just wouldn’t work out. But people couldn’t stop thinking about it, because he was oh, so dreamy! His charming and innocent attitude quickly would outgrow anything bad. He already had all the attention he needed, but of course, he was hungry for more. Hence the motorbike, it added just the right amount of rebellion, to the new James Dean vibe he was trying to pull. 

He was late, so late. However, his stomach couldn’t stop growling and his eyes were closing. He stopped at a Starbucks. Clearly, he was diverting every single glance while arriving. He had the complete look, the leather jacket, ripped jeans and the boots. A whole snack, if it’s correct to call him that. It suited him. He picked up his helmet strutting to the entrance, even the baristas were left in shock breathless. The sweet redhead barista sketched him a flirty smile, while she scribbled Tom’s name on his cup. “Is it okay if I write Spider-Man instead of Tom?” She asked with a chuckle. 

Tom only winked at her while letting his hand run through his hair. “Whatever you wish for, darling.” The endearing pet name that would cause them all to fall flat to his feet. The power it held should be illegal. Darling. He knew it worked, because the undeniable line of girls that would ask him to say it only proved that it was his biggest weapon. 

He took a sip of his coffee while he read his name, kindly accompanied by a phone number. What a surprise. “See you around, Gloria,” Tom said with a wink. 

He drank his coffee, as some other girls approached him to take a picture with him, he knew they had taken pictures of him from afar. And there he left again, of course not forgetting to write down the girl’s number on his phone. He’d text her, sometime, maybe in 3 days. But he went back home, took a hot shower and put on the all suit he had chosen like a month before. His hair was perfectly brushed, and he had showered himself with lotion, he looked handsome and neat, he thought. 

He stopped in front of the mirror, doubting just for a second if it was right how he wanted to look, he changed the jacket for his own brown leather jacket. That was better, he snapped a picture, he liked the man looking back at the mirror. He doubted if it was too much. Ah, it didn’t matter. When it came to her, it didn’t matter. 

Tom arrived, just a tad late, of course, but he knew that he’d be the centre of attention, and that was all he wanted. That was, clearly, before he realized how awkward walking through the already sitting crowd would be. He finally found Harrison, who had saved him a seat. He had arrived just in time, ish. The ceremony had already started, but he had missed the boring parts, so it was good. 

“Where were you?” Haz murmured angrily, as soon as Tom sat beside him. “I’m here, aren’t I?” Tom defended himself as Haz gave him the bouquet of flowers he had asked for. “Where is she?”  “Shh, she’ll be out, easy,” Haz said. “I don’t understand what’s going on.” 

“Me neither,” Tom admitted. 

Haz stared at Tom, and smelled him. “Someone showered in Gucci instead of water,” he mocked. “One might only wonder why.” 

Tom nudged and shushed him. “And now our first class graduates, graduating with honours from the Bachelor of Journalism,” the man on the microphone spoke. Tom smirked as he got out his phone to take pictures. Harrison laughed. “You’re worse than a mother,” Harrison bothered him, but Tom ignored him. “Miss Y/N Y/L/N” They called her and she proudly walked into the stage to receive her diploma. 

The ceremony ended and after meeting with her mom and grandma, she ran over to Tom, who opened his arms to hug her and pick her up. 

“There she is, the woman of the moment!” Tom grinned. 

“Oh, shut up,” she laughed. 

“You don’t know how proud I am of you, y/n,” Tom whispered in her ear. “You actually came,” she chuckled. “You sound surprised,” he frowned. “I wouldn’t miss your graduation for anything in this world,” Tom grinned. She let him go, but her hands were still posing on his shoulders. “Thought that last night you told me you were with someone,” she said. “I was.” 

She rolled her eyes and laughed. “Will you ever change?” She finally let him go as she smiled at her grandma. “Thank you so much, nana,” she hugged the woman. “They’d be so proud of you,” the woman said with tears in her eyes. “I know,” answered y/n with a tinge of sadness. Tom quickly gave her the bouquet of flowers, bringing a smile back on her face. 

“We are all proud of you,” her mother stepped in to remind her.”You did all of this by yourself, you did it!” 

“Mum,” y/n said, just a little bit embarrassed. Y/n smiled and glanced over to the cheerful Harrison who offered her a hug. 

“Congrats, Sherlock.” 

“Thank you, Watson,” she giggled. 

“So, are you going to interview me already?” Tom asked, with a chuckle. “I mean if you call yourself a journalist.” 

She rolled her eyes, “Why would I? I know everything about you already, mister,” she chuckled. “But if I may,” she cleared her throat and pulled out one of the flowers. 

She turned around and used the flower as a microphone. “Hello ladies and Gentleman, tonight we are all pleased to be hosting this event, the red carpet for the big movie, the one we’ve all been waiting for, the thrilling sequel to ‘We thought she wouldn’t survive the last finals’,” she took a deep breath. “I’m here joined by Tom Holland, one of the stars from the movie, who seems very excited, hey Tom! How are you? We love your outfit.”

“Hello, hello,” Tom faked arrogance as he unzipped his jacket. 

“I can’t believe we are here already! The big premier to the movie we’ve all been waiting for: ‘ridiculous and cliche graduation pictures’! Such a great title that just makes me shirker! Mr. Holland how was acting along with your two  best friends, Harrison and Y/N?” 

“I’m glad you asked,” he played along. “You see, it’s a very interesting film, it was shockingly violent, acting with them was amazing, Haz did a great job, but this movie wouldn’t be possible without the amazing role y/n played, she surprised us all.” 

“Ah, yes the stunts she pulled, one would’ve thought she couldn’t have made it, don’t you think?” She bit her lip, suppressing a laugh. “After the events of ‘We thought she wouldn’t survive the last finals’, y/n must have been through a lot.” 

“Definitely, some of those stunts were hard, I could never do something like that, but thank goodness that she pulled them off so elegantly.” 

“Of course, of course,” she giggled but then turned back serious. “So please, tell me, what was your favourite scene?” 

“Uh,” Tom bit his lip. “I love we were able to do that scene when it all started, with an almost broken nose and Chanel n°5,” Tom said. “I think I thank god every day for that scene.”

“Yes we all do,” she agreed with a tinge of red on her cheeks, she cleared her throat and turned to Haz. “Any words on the film? Mr Osterfield?Who are you wearing tonight?”

“You guys are the worst,” Haz stated, rolling his eyes. Both y/n and Tom laughed. 

Y/N’s mother nodded in agreement.  “Can we please take the pictures now?” 

“You’re taking away all the fun, guys,” y/n complained. 

“We didn’t even get her to be interviewing us at the Oscars,” Tom pouted. “You both are the biggest idiots,” Haz told them.

“Thanks,” they both said in unison.

“C’mon,I need my bloody cliché pictures,” she said dragging them to the side. They found the champagne as well on their way. They drank a glass, took pictures, congratulated other graduates while some other graduates were divided: some were amazed by the presence of Tom and Haz, while some others were disgusted by Tom, probably from their past encounters.

 Y/N laughed while Tom and her walked away from her mom and nana, who were talking nonstop with another graduate’s parents. Y/N’s best friends, Hannah, Jessica and Lizzie had come too, and Haz and Jess were talking. Lizzie was glaring at Tom. “She still remembers how you broke her heart,” y/n pointed out as she took a sip of her champagne. “Probably most girls here do, now that I think about it.” She turned around to look at the guests. “Wow, there goes Rachel, I thought she wouldn’t come, she texted me that she would only come if you weren’t here,” she pointed at her old roommate. “You wanna go say hello? bet she’ll be delighted with your presence,” y/n laughed with malice while Tom rolled his eyes. “Ah, sure, I’ll go say hi to all of them,” he joked. “Oh, she did come.” “She came to congratulate me, I guess,” y/n said. “I don’t know, but I bet she’s not approaching us.” 

“Not if I’m here,” Tom admitted.

Y/N chuckled.“Can you blame her? We started to hang out every single day and she was embarrassed that she almost slept with you that night” 

“Almost?” Tom smirked, raising his eyebrows. 

“Wait, did you—when did that—?”

Tom didn’t answer, he just sipped from his glass, holding back his snicker. 

“Thomas!” Y/N frowned as she started to make some calculations on her head. “You’re kidding, right?” 

“I’m not,” Tom shrugged. “That’s the only secret I have for you, I guess.” That was a lie. 

“When did it happen?” She frowned. 

“The first time? our first New Years eve together,” he chuckled. 

“First—?” Y/N blinked. “And the last time?” 

Tom started to count with his fingers. “About five—maybe six?”

“Six?” 

“Yeah, six hours ago,” he smirked. “After the party.” 

Y/N crossed her arms. “I can’t believe you,” she scowled. “I thought we had agreed on no friends of mine, you’re making me lose them.” 

Tom side hugged her and she just pushed him away. “Y/N I’m sorry.” 

But he truly wasn’t sorry, because what he had done with Rachel was yet again another attempt for him to stop himself from ruining the best relationship he had. Him and y/n had been too close the night before, and he had thought about kissing her, and he had thought about holding her. So he had to stop himself from having those thoughts, hence why he ended up shagging Rachel. It was a strict business. 

And it wasn’t like he had feelings for y/n, but sometimes he couldn’t deny that the way she smiled or the way she touched his shoulder would make his imagination go wild. 

“Be thankful those three haven’t stopped talking to me,” she motioned to her three friends. “I would’ve dumped your ass by now.” “Lizzie is still mad, huh?” Tom looked behind his shoulder. "And she will continue to be mad," Y/N reminded him, starting to walk further away. "You know, I turn to see most of the girls and almost all of them, you've broken their hearts."

"I've always been clear with my rules," Tom mentioned. "It's not my fault to be so charming."

Y/N shook his head. "I can't believe you," she said. "You're awful."

"Only if you sleep with me, I am," Tom agreed. "But look at us, we're fine."

Y/N kept walking, Tom following her. "You tried to sleep with me, though."

"Oh, I did, and you didn't give in,” Tom smiled. 

"I'm happy I did not." She laughed. “I would probably look like poor Rachel over there.” 

"What would have happened?" Tom asked her.

"I don't know, probably what you do with all of them, throw them away the next day,” she pointed out. 

"You never know," said Tom, watching her. 

"And we will never know because you haven't tried since," she smiled mischievously. 

Tom cleared his throat, as he blushed. “Nope.” That was another lie. 

"Who would say that someone like you would become my best friend?" She dedicated him a confused look. 

"I don't know, I'm grateful that my seductive gifts didn't work that day we met." Tom scoffed. 

Y/N nodded. “Cheers to that.” 

Tom noticed y/n’s tinge of sadness. "You're good?"

Y / N shrugged. "I do not know, I want to say yes. But everything is so overwhelming right now.” 

“The real world is waiting for you,” He said spraying his arms. 

“That’s scary,” she said and sighed. “I miss them.” 

And Tom knew why she had turned blue. 

“Bet they’re proud of you,” he said, lifting her chin. Only with her he could do this and be sure she wouldn’t be high heels for him. 

"Yes, and because of them I did it," she said. "I would like to go back and tell them, show both of them that I could do it, that I kept my promise."

Tom hugged her, while she only smiled bitterly at him. Tom knew how important this day was to her and how hard it was now that he remembered. Besides, it was more complicated while she watched the other families, all complete.

Her father and brother had died 2 years before. Tom still remembered how she had come to him and how she had curled up in the warmth of his arms. Sobbing and letting little pieces of her escape in each tear. Her life had collapsed into small pieces that had already vanished. It had been a car accident, Tom had never gone with the details. It was a horror story. She still had not overcome anything, and she never would. But Tom had been the small ray of light that illuminated her darkest moments, he had been there when she needed him the most.

As he held her he felt her release all her pain, as if Tom's arms had healing powers.

"You graduated," Tom told her, letting his head rest on her. It was weird, Tom knew that with her he could let loose all the 'bad boy' style. With her, he could let himself be carried away. He could be vulnerable and not all the farce that was charged.

"You guys say it like it’s a big deal, and shit it is."She let him go and smiled at him. "It scares me," she confessed. "It's strange as if... I still feel that it's not true."

"You have your diploma, don't you?"

"Sure, of course, but, I feel like I'm missing something in my life, I dunno," she told him. 

"What do you mean?" Tom questioned her.

"I dunno, I need to go out more, you know? I feel like I need to define myself before continuing, sort things out,” she added. "Anyway."

"Define yourself."

"Yes, I dunno, to explore the world before dedicating myself completely, to explore for a while, all my life I have been someone who has been locked up with perfect grades, and everything has been planned, so for the first time I want to be... free, to try other lands, not have to hide away.”

"Sure, of course, live a little."

"Something I've learned from you," she joked, staring at him. "Try different things, and then throw them away the very next day."

"Ah, come on," Tom shook his head, "you make it sound like it's awful, look at you now, having doubts when you literally just graduated."

"It is awful when it is with people," she corrected him. "Look, I just know I need a break."

"So you're not going to look out for a job?" Tom asked her.

"I already have, and—I got a job offer, but," she explained. "I feel like, I need something more. I need to sort something out before I do anything stupid."

Tom had already had this conversation with her. Y/N had done everything she had planned. Everything perfect, but at the same time, there was always a certain rebellion. She was independent but she had put on her own barriers, she had simply fulfilled the life of a perfect girl. But it was authentic, with her inappropriate comments, her blatant attitude, and her crazy ideas she had managed to tear apart the perfect girl without destroying it.  However, she was always held back by some fears, fears that Tom had noticed but she never really explained. He did not blame her, Tom was as scared as she was. Yet, it was the opposite. His biggest fear was the greatest strength of Y/N. Commitment. 

It was weird, while he was so committed to what he did, his acting career, he did not know how to escape later, Tom was so terrified that he was doing his best to avoid it, he was an expert escaping. 

She needed stability and plans while Tom liked spontaneity. They did not really know how their friendship worked. They liked being different. They needed each other, y/n didn't let Tom lose sanity and Tom made y/n take a little time to have fun, even to clear up.

"And what is that ... something else?" Tom asked.

"For now, I need to go out," she told him. "Have fun."

Tom smiled grimly. "With that, I can help."

"I asked you for a reason."

"Actually, I'm glad you did it then, Haz and I have something planned."

—- The music was loud and the blue lights lit up to the rhythm, making each rumble shine around them. They were in their best clothes, and there were boys and girls dancing near them. Some bottles and some glasses were on their table.

They had had a good time so far, and they were snapping pictures and recording Instagram stories while they were cheering out for the just graduated y/n, laughing. 

“So what’s the news, y/n?” Tom said, a terrible pun, really. 

Y N rolled her eyes at Tom but gave him another smile. 

After the event, they had gone to have dinner with her mother and grandmother. Tom and Y/N had shared their plates and ordered two different desserts. 

But now, they were enjoying themselves with y/n's friends, Tuwaine, Haz, and the twins. Tom had been a little uncomfortable with Lizzie, who completely tried ignored Tom's gaze at all costs. Harrison was not having a bad time, because Jess and him were having a nice conversation, Hannah and the twins were having the time of their lives and Tuwaine and his girlfriend were dancing.

Unfortunately, Tom had had to invite y/n's three friends. He didn’t mind Hannah and Jess, but Lizzie, Lizzie was a whole other situation. She was obsessed with him, and the tension in the room was something too peculiar. He had tried to ignore it but, but she had her ways of bothering him. Especially since Tom wanted to spend most of his time with y/n, and Lizzie kept dragging her away.

Tom had what he could say was the perfect life in terms of relationships, and he was well aware of that. Knowing that Lizzie was just trying to get his attention, he realized how easy his life was. He had a different woman when he pleased and could have fun all day with y/n. A perfect balance.

Now in the club, he was having the best time.

Celebrating the graduate with the best of everything, anything that could make the impossible possible. Tom seemed to not get tired of telling her how proud he was, and then as he was drinking more and more he couldn’t stop telling her beautiful she looked and she kept smiling shyly.

They danced together and laughed. He wasn’t sure if it was the music, the atmosphere, the type of reunion or the alcohol, but he felt that their looks had become significantly more flirtatious. It probably was his imagination.

They took some shots, showed their worst dance steps and kept enjoying. They ordered too many things and the attention in the club was diverted many times to their table.

Tom would not let his hand move away from y/n's waist in the whole night, but at some point, they both sat down to rest. There were times when Tom could not stop thinking about how she was his everything, this was one of those moments. He could never lose her, he loved her too much to ever let her go. It was amazing what Tom would be willing to do for her.

They were too close, everything platonic of course, so her head on his shoulder was nothing strange to him. Tom finally relaxed watching as their friends were having fun, although a fan interrupted them and asked Tom for a picture, who agreed with pleasure. Y/N watched them and the fan recognized her.

"You are y/n, I've seen you with Tom on his Instagram!" The fan cheered, and she laughed awkwardly. Tom noticed that the alcohol they had drunk had had an effect on his friend.

"Yep, that's me."

"You two make a beautiful couple!" The fan commented, causing her to shake her head quickly and Tom to laugh uncomfortably.

"Nono, nothing like that," Tom clarified, causing the fan to step back embarrassed.

"I'm sorry," the fan apologized. Tom winked at her before she left. 

Y/N giggled when she saw her leave. "She thought we're dating.” 

"She's not the first," Tom said, sitting down next to her.

"Nor will she be the last," she added. "Ha, you and me, a couple?"

"Ah, I love you too much to let you go with a stupid relationship."

"You're never going to try, then?" She asked him, and she did what she did best, stare into his eyes as if she was trying to read into his soul. And even if her eyes looked tipsy, he still thought they were the most amazing pair of eyes he had ever laid his eyes on. Tom did not know exactly where she wanted to go with that conversation. He knew that she didn't want him, so he did not need to worry. Or maybe he did.

"No, I love you, I want you in my life, I already told you," Tom assured her. "Or do you want me to try something?" He didn’t know where that question had come from. 

"We are too drunk for this conversation," she said as she reached for her glass, but then turned back to him.

"So you're telling me," Tom said as he rested his forehead on hers. "That you have  thought about this?"

"You're my best friend," she reproached him, pushing his head away. Tom brushed his lips lightly against her cheek.

"You have not thought about this?" Tom left a kiss on her neck, he felt her warm-up. She didn’t say anything. She cleared her throat and pushed him away again. 

"No, I just wanted to hear you didn't want to throw me away," she laughed. "What would I do without my Peter Parker?"

"I do not know," Tom looked at her. "You need me, and I need you.” 

"Don't start, Holland," she stopped him as she shuffled to get far from him. "But yes, I can tell you ... I wuv you!"

"Well, someone's a little drunk," Tom said as he watched her. Y/N kissed his nose. "Very drunk."

"I'm not," she said decisively. "Come on, you have to dance," she said, taking his arm and taking him back to the group as they danced. 

Lizzie was getting drunker and drunker. But y/n and Tom kept taking.

"Thanks for this," she said in Tom's ear, as they danced together.

"For you, I'd do anything," Tom assured him. Y/N paused to stare into his eyes. Tom meant it.

"I owe you one, I needed to forget everything about ..."

"Woah, okay, I need you to have fun, okay? We can mourn together tomorrow, but please! You graduated today! "

"Yes... Yes."

"And you'll be the best journalist, writer, reporter or whatever you want to be in the world," Tom said decisively. She leaned over to give him a sweet kiss on the cheek, their met eyes again, feeling like the music that had previously stunned them was fading slowly, she saw Tom's lips, and Tom saw hers, they came a little closer but they were quickly interrupted by a cry from Lizzie. Tom and Y/N separated before they could do anything foolish, something they could regret.

Lizzie clung to Tom as she danced, and Tom didn't hesitate to let himself go, letting y/n go, while she laughed and played along with Harrison. They both needed to escape from the situation. The night continued and they danced separately. Lizzie kept caressing Tom's shoulders and y/n watched them for a brief moment but let it go. One way or another, Tom ended up kissing Lizzie.

Y/N turned to see them and simply rolled her eyes with a little anger, but continued to dance, chatting and laughing with Tuwaine, the twins, her friends and Haz. She could have enough fun to forget about it. 

Tom and Lizzie were very busy doing their thing so they decided not to interrupt them.

They stayed there until 3 in the morning and they decided they would go to Tom and Harrison's flat, they would continue the party there. Y/N and Haz waited for Tom so the three of them could leave in an Uber, however, Lizzie arrived and discreetly approached y/n's ear.

"Let me go with Tom alone," she begged sweetly. Y/N frowned.

But before she could tell her anything, Lizzie smiled at them as she took the Uber with Tom, his lips still glued to her, closing the door before either Haz or Y/n could hop on.  Haz and Y/N were left along since Tuwaine had left with the twins, Jess and Hannah in another car.

Y/N watched them leave, although she didn't want to admit it, she felt her heartbreaking little by little. But she was trying to ignore it, so she just looked down at her phone.

It was not the first time she felt that Tom and her had something else, this wasn’t the first time they had had their ‘almost’ kiss. It seemed like in the past few months that had been a constant. 

But their friendship was too good to ruin it for their feelings, even if they both said they were non-existent. It was obvious to everyone in the room except for the two of them. She would often deny it to herself and Tom let it escape, ignoring it. But she always had to cross out the thought while seeing him continue with his life.

Harrison smiled apologethically at her. "Lizzie has serious problems, no offence."

"None taken," Y/N clarified as the next Uber arrived. "She's an idiot."

"I’d say Tom is the idiot in that equation."

"No, she knows perfectly well what she is to face with Tom," Y/N explained, as she looked back at her phone."I mean, that does not make Tom less a jerk, but he doesn't play games, he's very clear with his rules."

"Oh, yes, quite clear," Harrison agreed with her. "I think that besides his mother, the only constant woman in his life has been you."

"Someday he will throw me away," she shrugged.

Haz shook his head with a smile. "I doubt that."

"You do?" She questioned him, as they climbed into the car that had arrived.

"Sure, you're what Tom needs to be sane, he worries too much about you, it's unbelievable you're the only serious thing he has in his life."

"There's nothing serious."

"I mean friendship, I know it does not go any further than that, but I'm amazed how he really takes pains to have you happy, he loves you too much," Haz told her.

"Yeah, we are friends."

"I think there's more, but you guys keep ignoring it,” Haz pointed out. 

“Not from his side, no,” She gulped. 

“And from yours?” Haz questioned. 

 Y/N was silent for the rest of the ride. They arrived at Haz' place and she still was thinking about it.

The party continued, the graduate was happy, and they continued joking, playing cards and basically looking for excuses to get even drunker. They made a round of 'never have I ever' which started out as a game to destroy innocence and ended up being a war of who could embarrass who the most. They continued with a round of charades and ended up listening to music, scattered on the chairs. Lizzie and Tom were very interested in each other as they continued with their make-out session, quite gross if you asked anyone in the room.

Almost everyone had gone, only the owners of the place were left with Lizzie and Y/ N.

"Hey, Tom, mind if I stay?" y/n asked before Lizzie threw herself into Tom's arms.

"Oh, no, you’re good, you can stay in the guest room, you know," he told her, while Lizzie kissed his neck. Y / N felt like scorn and was quite disgusted by the scene.

"I'll take a hoodie of yours," she warned him and went to his room. Such a nice room, even if she knew what was about to happen next. She looked around, smiling at the pictures all over the walls. He had a lot of things about Spiderman, of his trips, it was...very him, very much his real self. Not that boy who was kissing one of her best friends downstairs. It was weird, it was him but y/n thought it was another role he played, the playboy life wasn’t truly him . Y/N saw a picture he had with her.

And then she realized it, she was the one who should be there, kissing Tom, not Lizzie. Because Tom meant something to her. But what was she thinking? 

She had hope, that maybe he had thought about it, too. That maybe he had only been sleeping around because he couldn’t have her. And maybe she had only been dying for him to ask her out again, she was dying for a kiss. Just one kiss, and maybe she could get back to her senses. 

She thought about it, maybe she could stop him, just go downstairs and stop him, tell him how she really felt after all those years. She turned around, but before she could even go out and ask Tom to stop what he was doing so he could come down to his senses, she heard them approach.

"Uh, we kinda need this room," Tom said mischievously, while Lizzie laughed shyly.

"Oh, yes, sorry."

And with that, y/n walked out. 

“You’re okay?” Haz had asked her as he bumped into her. 

“Yeah, I just feel a bit sick,” she had told him. 

“Probably the alcohol,” Haz suggested. 

“Probably, yeah,” she smiled. But they both knew it wasn’t the alcohol.  

Haz gave her a small smile as she started to walk away. “You know, he’s too scared of losing you.” 

“Yet he’s doing nothing to keep me,” she sighed. “I’m going to book my flight tomorrow.” 

“Does he know?” Haz pushed.

“No,” she shrugged. “But knowing me, and knowing him, it’s the best I can do.” 

“So you’re escaping?” Haz frowned. 

“I learned from the best,” she shrugged. “I can’t let this grow.”

Haz didn’t push it any further, because he knew that it was hopeless. And she knew it, too. She knew it was either too early or too late to accept it because she was doomed to never have him.

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