#rayan death

[ash-isnt-writing]

It was always the same for Vanté.

Just when he finally had solid plans, someone would run off, get themselves killed, then we was expected to revive them, the only thanks he got being lying unconscious for two years for everyone else but him to be happy with themselves.

It was torture higher than a physical level. It was torture that made him feel like he was repeating everything. Every day, every month, every year.

All he was, at this point, was a puppet. A tool. And he knew they always meant well, they just wanted their loved ones back and he had no reason to be selfish, but he was just so.. sick, and tired.

Having to do this repeatedly took so much out of him. He was at the peak of his music career and he was dragged back down to revive another reckless idiot.

He just wanted to be appreciated for who he was, for his feats and his highs, for how much work and effort and care he’d put into trying to live some semblance of a normal life.

But he was just a tool, or an attraction. He would never be valued as human, even if it wasn’t intentional. Because he was different. No matter how normal he tried to be, no matter how much he tweaked and adjusted his appearance, he’d never be taken at surface value as human. Even if the person didn’t mean to, it was subconscious. He’d never be seen as human, because he wasn’t human.

He was snapped out of his thoughts from a call from Maddie. She hadn’t called since Rayan went missing, so he had no doubt it was for the exact thing he was just thinking about how much he hated. He’d have to go revive another person.

He sighed. Maybe another rampage would do him some good. That was his main thought as he picked up the phone and answered. Maybe then, people would show him the respect he’d been working so hard to get.

[inkwell-and-dagger]

HEY!!!

This contains kinda heavy gore, thanatophobia / athazagoraphobia and heavy HEAVY descriptions of a rotting corpse, so please watch out!! also this is NOT CANON to Forsaken Souls so don't worry our boy isn't dead; it's based on a prompt by my lovely mutual, @er0s-1s-whump1ng / @4sh-th3-f4e!! also! Vanté, Vesker and Vayel (V trio real) belong to him as well :3

—> —> —> —> —> —>

Rayan didn't have a clue why everyone was ignoring him.

First it was Vanté, then his kids, then Maddie, and now Vesker and his own son. He'd been wandering mindlessly for hours now, hoping that anybody — he didn't care who at this rate — would notice him, or even look at him. He didn't care how he wanted someone to acknowledge him; he just wanted to soothe that nagging thought tugging in the back of his mind, screaming that something was horribly wrong.

All attempts were, to his dismay, futile.

They were acting like he was dead; which, obviously, was impossible. He was immortal. Immortals can't die. Sure, he's experienced something like what he could assume death was before, but he'd always woken up the next day. Right? So he wasn't dead.

...Right?

"This is ridiculous," Rayan grumbled beneath his breath in an exasperated tone. The trees towering overhead were a maze of brown bark and emerald leaves as he reluctantly trudged to the last place he remembered being in pain at; Madir's little cabin, shrouded in the woods. He recalled that, somehow, Foster had gotten irritated at him and had called Madir to take Rayan and "deal with him", to which Madir enthusiastically agreed. Being sent to Madir's cabin was like a death sentence.

He'd made his escape that night when Madir was asleep, having broken a window in the process; so it was no surprise, in the early dawn, that the man had not woken yet and the broken window served as an entry way for Rayan.

He slipped inside with ease, hastily walking to the attic; he had no intention to be here long. The closer he got upstairs, the more dread settled in the pit of his stomach as he prayed Madir wouldn't wake up at his footsteps and the creaking of the staircase.

Thankfully, though, as always, the ladder leaned onto the wall was stable enough for Rayan to climb up. A blanket of a distinct, unnerving smell lay in the air; an almost metallic smell, alongside rotting meat.

(gore / corpse CW)

Rayan stopped at the last step, face paling as his stomach dropped. He was looking at himself, but... dead. His head lolled to one side, skin turning a slight bruised purple colour; crimson liquid pooling around the stiff, frigid body of Rayan Hyacinth. Gashes across his body, down his skin and soaking his pathetic excuse for a shirt, Rayan figured blood loss had caused this. The inmortal like throwing up at the sight; he'd been dead for a couple hours, it seemed.

Rayan had seen and experienced a lot of horrific things in his days — from walking in on his own partner with a knife hilt-deep in his chest to having his own leg sawed off by Madir — but this? This was unlike anything he'd ever seen. The bruised, battered, and rotting corpse of his own body, while he stood staring at it paces away.

(end of CW)

It all made sense now. He wasn't being ignored. He was dead; which was impossible, given he was immortal. How did it happen? Why did it happen?

Rayan prayed this was just some sick nightmare, as he half fell down the stairs again and stumbled out of the building, eyes — clouded and dull with a thousand and one troubles — transfixed on the ground beneath him.

Was this a situation similar to Vayel's? Was his immortality taken away, like his was? How did it happen? Why did it happen?

Why did it happen to him? What did he do? He was improving. He could improve. He was becoming a better person, slowly but surely. Was this a punishment for his— no, for Cora's actions? Rayan didn't know.

With a low, choked-up sob, he sank down the nearest tree; his leg was trembling too much anyway, and everything seemed heavy and quite frankly he wanted to throw up.

He was dead. Gone. And not even his own husband, or his sister, or his own son knew it yet.

—> —> —> —> —> —>

Forsaken Souls Taglist WOOOOHOOOOO LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!: @kira-the-whump-enthusiast!!!

[jaysen-vor-hee-hees]

){}( But you never really tried to stop me, did you? ){}(

A/N: Inspired by @v-3-ll-1-gore ‘s “A Tale As Old As Time”, incorporating my OCs Vesker Faithern, Silver [insert cool last name here], and Vanté Ramirez, and Vell’s OC Rayan Hyacinth.

Warning!!: This work contains written depictions of torture, car crashes, abduction, death/loss of a loved one, and other potentially alarming/disturbing topics. Reader discretion is highly advised.

Edit!!: Title quote credit - Party Hard, Underground cutscene. Voice Actor is unknown, but he was voicing the playable main character Darius.

——————————————————————————

Silver was always like Vanté’s saviour. He was there the moment he felt like he was losing grip on everything, and he saved him from that dark place. His touch. His voice. It was everything to him. The way Silver would fall asleep on his shoulder, or in his lap.

Vanté sighed as Rayan’s head was rested on his shoulder. He knew he was asleep. And he supposed he should be enjoying the moment. But it.. it didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel like him.

Silver’s touch, brushing over his cheeks to wipe his tears away whenever he was crying. Silver was always there. Always. Vanté just wished he knew how to return that favor. He was always so busy, and he hated that he couldn’t hold Silver as much as he really wanted to. So when he finally got home, there wasn’t nearly enough time to catch up. Ever.

Again, Vanté returned to a quiet house. He couldn’t even call it a home anymore. Not after what Rayan did to him. The silence was deafening, and he couldn’t help but feel a little worried. Still, he went about his usual, putting his things away, moving to get changed- a sharp pain in the back of his head, his world fading to black momentarily.

And god, what he would do for Silver. If anything ever happened, if the universe ever let anything happen to his beloved, he would burn it all to the ground. He’d rip apart the galaxy just to find him. He loved him. He loved the way it felt to hold him. He loved the way Silver looked in his shirt, standing under the light of a streetlamp, on the way back from a night out.

Vanté looked away from the bright light. He pulled at his restraints in a vain attempt to pull himself free, drawing a laugh from Rayan. “Earth to Vanté” Rayan teased, drawing a low growl from Vanté’s throat. “Aww, come on, I’m doing you a favour! Don’t give me that.” Vanté scowled, mumbling; “Sure, because I’d consider this a favour.”

“SILVER!” The cry from his throat was raw, loud. It was of fear, of pain, as he pulled Silver away from the wreck of the speeding car that had hit his precious boy. He almost dropped his phone pulling it out of his pocket as he called emergency services. He’d never talked so fast in his life. He’d never breathed so fast in his life. He couldn’t help but feel a hint of relief settle as the ambulance pulled up.

Vanté dragged Rayan’s unconscious body into the back of Foster’s car, heavily slamming the door shut. And Vesker could do nothing but watch, helplessly, as he lost his love. There was no time. He wasn’t fast enough. He’d get them for this. He swore it, at that moment, he would.

Vanté’s heart sank when he got the news that Silver wasn’t going to make it. He felt sick. He knew, one day, that he’d lose Silver, it was a part of immortality. But he didn’t image it would be like this. Never like this. Silver’s cold, dead body, in that hospital bed. He didn’t stop crying on and off for an hour once he got home. And he couldn’t shake those last words from his head. “You’ve gotta live for me, Vanté. Promise me you won’t kill another soul again. Promise me, please.”

Vanté dug the knife into Rayan’s thigh, listening to him scream. He didn’t want this. He never wanted this. But he hated him for what he did to him.. “This is what you get, you bastard.”

——————————————————————————

[allergic-to-four-leaf-clovers]

"Are you okay, Ray?"

Madison was always concerned with Rayan's rather disturbing — at times, anyway — dreams. They happened sporadically at times, and they had many different focuses; but she could tell that this time, it was something personal. The way Rayan didn't meet his sister's gaze, his leg bouncing rhythmically against the soft carpet of Madison's bedroom, said enough.

"I-I—" Rayan stuttered, stumbling over his words with a frustrated groan and burying his face in his hands. He felt Madison's gentle hand on his shoulder, soft like a Mother's touch. "Take your time."

"...It was about Sage," he said after a moment. "It- I don't wanna talk about it—"

"It'll make you feel better, Ray-Ray. I promise it will."

He sighed. "..Fine. It's- it's stupid, though—"

"Rayan, please," Madison interrupted with an understanding tone in her voice. "I don't care if it's stupid, please just.. tell me. Please?"

A couple beats of silence followed, before Rayan broke it with a sniffle. "..I- I saw Sage, but not- not how he was when I.. found, them, uhm, she- she looked completely normal as if they were never dead in the first place.

"They- they were behind me, in- y'know the bathroom mirror, in our old house, I was there- and he was behind me, and she.. she was there. It was like they never left. I could feel him- him hugging me, and..." He trailed off.

Rayan could remember it with perfect clarity. Sage's gorgeous face, twisted into that bright little smile he used to love, behind him in the mirror. Cold yet gentle hands carding through Rayan's hair, squeezing his shoulders and wrapping around his waist. Sage's voice echoed in his ears, and despite the gentle tone, that comforting gaze, that reassuring touch, their words made Rayan's skin crawl.

"It's okay, love. I forgive you."

He could remember how the blood felt on his skin, the weight of the gun in his hands. Sage's once-beautiful face, obscured in a veil of scarlet, eyes lifeless and glazed over and far away. Dead.

"..And that's when I woke up."

But he'd leave that part out for now.

[the-garbanzo-annex-jr]

The Reuters wire service likewise parrotted the family’s narrative that the 7-year-old, who they said did not have any preexisting health conditions, “died of heart failure while being chased by Israeli soldiers.”

However, Suleiman’s testimony can hardly be given credence, and would likely not hold up in any court of law. Just hours after the incident, Arab journalists quoted Yaser Suleiman as saying that Rayan did not die of a sudden cardiac arrest, but was rather “martyred” following a fall from the balcony of the house.

In their initial comments, the Beit Jala Hospital — as well as the Palestinian Authority-controlled Ministry of Health — also mentioned a “fall,” although they later changed their story to match the family’s new claim. For their part, schools in the West Bank on Saturday circulated a poster produced by the PA Ministry of Education that listed the boy’s cause of death as “falling from a height.”

This inconsistency was almost entirely erased from the mainstream media coverage.

Rayan Suleiman’s sudden death is obviously a tragedy for his family. But as Ramallah has yet to release the official autopsy report, it is impossible for news organizations, or anyone else for that matter, to state with certainty how he died. The prevailing media narrative, however, is seemingly based on mere conjecture.

With anti-Israel activists jumping on every opportunity to promote blood libels against the Jewish state, journalists have an obligation to check the facts.

[pescelegacysims3]

Assia dropped by the Circle of Knowledge Bookstore, which her brother Rayan now runs (having inherited the business from their late mother) for a chat.

[perpetualprocrastinationisme]

Is Ty in Denial Over Livvy?

Artist: Charlie Bowater

I think it's worth noting that what Ty is currently experiencing re: Livvy is not grief but denial. - Cassie Answering Asks on Tumblr

I think this really points to what one of the biggest points of tension in the TWP series is going to be: the denial that Ty might be in over Livvy. This is how Cassie answered a question about why Kit left without saying goodbye to the Blackthorns in QOAAD. But is Ty really in denial? That's what I'm trying to ascertain by analyzing the passages below.

PS. If you do find a ghost, treat it kindly. I don’t think all ghosts mind being ghosts, as long as people are nice to them.

So this is how Ty ended a letter to Emma and Julian in SOBH. I feel like this shows us that to Ty, the real reason that someone may not like being a ghost is that they're ignored and not treated well. So the answer to the issue with Livvy is just to treat her the best he possibly can, to always be there for her. (Also, just to say this, Ty is one of the most sincerely kind characters in the whole TSC universe if you really examine scenes that include him. So, I also just think this quote stems from who Ty is at heart). But is simply treating Livvy well enough? Does that meet her needs? We see Livvy's perspective in GOTSM here:

There was so little to feel. For months now she had been less than a shadow at Ty's heels. Oh, why couldn't Livvy do the same? Why was she the only one who could not return and take up her life again?

While I do think that being kind to ghosts like Livvy or Rupert is important, the primary injustice here is that Livvy gets to be almost human, just without the parts that make life most worth living. Here we see that she continuously feels this sense of unfairness, why does everybody else get to live their lives except for her? Why is there so little for her to feel?

Here's another of Ty's perspectives on Livvy's resurrection:

She said a lot of reassuring things. But it still gave me a cold feeling, which I think is my body telling my brain that I’m afraid. If Julian and Emma found out about Livvy, they wouldn’t just be angry. They’d feel like they had to do something, like lay her to rest. People don’t think ghosts can be happy, but Livvy is happy. She helps me with work and she tells me advice for Anush (he has a crush on Rayan’s sister Nasha) and when we’re alone we play games or I read to her. She can’t do everything but why would being all the way dead be better? Everyone calls it “rest” but no one really knows, do they?

I feel like with Ty we consistently see this idea that Livvy being a ghost is better than nothing. In QOAAD when Kit tells him that he doesn't think Livvy would want to be resurrected Ty tells him that he doesn't think Livvy would want to be dead either. To me, this isn't rooted in Ty selfishly wanting Livvy back. On the contrary, I feel like Ty sees it this way because Livvy has always been there for him, making life better. So, for Ty, what if this is his way of making Livvy's life better? After all, wouldn't being a ghost that can still see be on Earth be better than the nothingness of death? Here's another of Livvy's perspectives to compare it to:

The sun was rising, and she tried to feel its warmth - something other than its brightness. To warm herself. What she would have given to feel that wet velvet crust of the top layer of sand under her feet, to feel the cold grittiness of the sand underneath change in temperature as the warmth of her human feet soaked away. To scream herself hoarse, knowing that no one would hear over the roar of the surf. She squatted and tried with ever particle of herself to pick up a piece of beach glass. But it was a useless endeavor. She had no more effect on the world than a fragment of dream.

I believe this scene really showcases one of the two worst parts about Livvy becoming a ghost: her ability to take action. When looking at Livvy's character in the first two books it is evident that she wants to take care of people and be able to have an effect on people. In Lord of Shadows we see her say this:

"I realized something," she said. "I want to be like you, Jules. Not this second, not right now, but someday. I want to take care of people, other Shadowhunters, people who need me. I want to run an Institute."

And I do realize that Livvy can still help people and have a powerful effect on the world as a ghost, I mean she's already found useful information about the Cohort and TWP isn't even here yet. She's just not able to help people in the way I think she feels called to do. Livvy very much seems like a hands-on, people's person. As a ghost she can't be that. She can't run an Institute, she can't even pick things up. You can very much see that she feels useless in GOTSM. But I think we see the thing she struggles with the most in these excerpts:

You can see ghosts but you cannot see me. Not when I come to sit by you while you sleep. Not when I am in the movements of the shadows across the lawn, or the twitch of a curtain. You cannot hear me, even though I am speaking to you because I have things I need to tell you.

It was wonderful to see how settled in Helen and Aline were, but it was also all extremely unfair, Livvy felt. Everyone else got to come home. Mark. Helen. Even Ty would come home someday. But she would never truly be home again.

Family is the most important thing to all of the Blackthorns, it seems like they base almost all of their actions around each other. I think what tortures Livvy is being able to see this family she loves so much but never being able to interact with them again except for Ty. Never getting to be a big and little sister. It's a vital part of Livvy's life that she has lost for the time being.

I want to say this though, I think it may be easy to look at all of these scenes and immediately say that Ty is in denial about Livvy's true situation and feelings, but I don't think that is true. Look at this scene:

Ty said, "I'm so sorry, Livvy." "For what?" she said. "For doing this to you," he said.

I think Ty realizes what all Livvy is missing, for the most part. I think it also really hurts him. He just feels that what she does have is better than what she could have in death.

All of these scenes also beg this question, would Livvy feel like this if she figures out the ins and outs of being a ghost or if she could show herself to her entire family? Like, when she actually sees the power she has for good in her current state as a ghost? I ask because of this scene:

"Oh, Ty," she said. "I would have done it for you. It isn't a thing that should be done, but I would have done it anyway. And so we would be in just the same mess we're in now. Besides, I think I'm getting the hand of this ghost thing."

Conclusion: I feel like Ty may have been in denial in the beginning but I don't think he is anymore. I also think that Livvy will have an easier time as a ghost as things progress in TWP. I also feel like Livvy has the potential to be a huge force for good, a protector, in TWP and I sincerely hope that happens. However, I do think this will be a major point of tension between Ty and other characters in TWP, especially Kit. I feel that many of them, especially the older Blackthorn siblings, will want to help Livvy be released into the afterlife instead of staying as a ghost. I think the finale of the entire series will reveal the fate of Livvy: whether she can stay as a ghost, has to be released into the afterlife, or gets to come back fully human.

Edit: By not being in denial, I mean that I think Ty understands that he did wrong and regrets resurrecting Livvy. The issue is that he doesn’t regret it enough to talk to Magnus or one of his siblings to try to either release Livvy or bring her back fully. To figure out the best way forward with Livvy, is what I guess I’m trying to say. And also, while I think Livvy could be a force for good and could acclimate to being a ghost, I also think there’s just as good a chance that she could go into one of her more volatile states. This would lead to some really awful stuff happening and could even be the crux of Ty and Kit’s plot in TWP.

Also, sorry for the ridiculously long post, it felt kind of like a really poorly written essay. I hope it was coherent and that you enjoyed it though :) Here's some beautiful Kit and Ty art for the road.

Artist: @camisala01-art

[alaakhaled00]

🚨‼️No life anymore‼️🚨

{{And do good; for God loves those who do good}}

Donate as much as you can and save his life

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[whumpshaped]

Stray 9

prev masterlist

tw institutional/systemic pet whump, second person pov (and you're the pet!)

"I need... I need somewhere warm to stay," you admit. "It's getting really cold, I'm hurting all the time, the ground is freezing, I don't even have a blanket— If you really want to help, then... then..."

"You want to stay with me?" Rayan asks, seemingly taken aback.

"I don't want to," you say immediately. "I— I don't have another choice! It's either freezing to death or the PPA otherwise. That's not much of a choice!"

Rayan puts his hands up. "Alright, alright, I get it. I understand. I'm sorry."

You still shoot him a glare, but you don't argue further. It's honestly embarrassing to be so vulnerable. You have no leverage other than the fact that you think this guy wants you to like him, and you can withhold that approval.

"I'd gladly let you stay with me," he goes on. "It's just... It'd have to be a secret. We all have a duty to report strays, you know that, right? I could get into serious trouble—"

"You haven't reported me so far," you interject. "You could've."

He bites his lip, trying to find the right words. "I could've. Maybe I should've." A chill runs down your spine when he says that, and you get ready to grab the apple and bolt. "But I... I don't believe pets run from a place where they're treated well. I couldn't live with myself if I sent you back to a place where you were... hurt."

Well... That's not really true, is it? You haven't been mistreated at the shelter. In fact, everyone has been very kind and very patient. You ran because of a nagging suspicion that you were there by mistake, that you weren't a pet.

But this guy clearly seems to think you are. Maybe you should just confirm his theory.

~

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[byaahrs]

Locked up with Rafe Cameron

Warning! If you still haven’t watched season 3 of Outer Banks, and you’re planning to soon, I advise you not to read this fanfiction, as it could contain major spoilers of that season.

Word count : ~3000 SFW From Aahrs, Love ! 🌴🌺🌴

Contextualization : Rafe Cameron had been keeping you locked in his house for days. Basically, he was using you — a friend of Sarah’s — to gather valuable information about the Pogues and their upcoming plan. Ever since they had met in South America and discovered El Dorado, Rafe was furious; the only person he ever cared about - and above all, the only one he admired - had just passed away. Indeed, his father, by trying to save his daughter Sarah, died, Rayan’s bullet passing through his heart. And even though he was trying to hide it as best he could, Rafe found himself shaken. Traumatized to say the least. As payback, he had taken you, the first Pogue whom he got his hands on. While waiting for your friends to come and save you from him, you had to obey him. But most importantly, you had to be wise. After all, in the past, Sarah had told you about her brother's wild and cruel nature; Rafe was mentally unstable. One wrong move, and he could easily end your life. If you wanted to live, you had to play it safe. 

Behind your kidnapping, Rafe had one goal in mind : kill each of the Pogues to avenge Ward Cameron and save his honor. At the beginning of your captivity, he did not even want to speak to you. In his eyes, you were literally disgusting. If he dared talk to you, it was only to throw insults and threats, when he had drunk way too much. However, as the days passed, certainly very alone in the world, he became more inclined to conversation. While you thought you could get out of this unfortunate situation by creating a bond - a sincere friendship - with him, one night, you heard him talk to Topper in the living room opposite to your bedroom. In order to hear their words correctly, you put your ear against the wall. And when you finally got to perceive them correctly, you let out a gasp. Rafe had just sworn to kill you if you did not reveal the location of the Pogues quickly.

Although you knew he was insane, you were no less shocked. Just when you thought you and he were beginning to get along, he was betraying you. But it was your fault, and yours only. Why would you believe the guy who abducted you in the first place ? Between you and Rafe, maybe you were the most insane. 

That evening, panicked, you couldn't sleep. You thought about the discussion of Topper and Rafe all night. One single solution presented itself to you; if you cared about your life, you’d have to kill him before he had a chance to come after you.

Locked up

Out of breath, it felt impossible to calm the pulse of your pounding heart. What had you done ? You raised your head slowly, to estimate the situation. You peeked at Rafe, who was already staring at you in a hostile manner. Standing, he was not moving an inch. From afar, he did not even seem to be breathing. He was like a corpse in the middle of the room; pale. Livid.

“Damn”, you muttered quietly to yourself. You knew. You knew you had just signed your death warrant. It was only a matter of seconds before Rafe caught up the distance that separated the two of you, and chocked you with his massive thick hands. At the thought of his grip tightening your neck, you swallowed. Rafe was impulsive. He only reacted out of emotion, even more when he was angry. Yes, it was very likely that he ended up strangling you.

Picturing that was not very clever of you. Even though you were already trying to calm down, this thought doubled your anxiety. Your heart was henceforth beating so hard against your chest that you were physically suffering. At this point, it was so loud you wouldn't even be surprised if Rafe, at the other end of the room, could hear it. It was like dying of fear. You were feeling nauseous. Fortunately, the lack of food in your stomach kept you from vomiting. Indeed, you had nothing to throw up but acid. 

Although the last few seconds had passed like hours, Rafe startled you when, in a sudden and beastly gesture, he hit the vase of flowers to his right. He picked it up, and then crushed it on the floor against the hard and cold tiles. The sound of it breaking was bitter. But compared to the tone of his voice, it was nothing. 

“Is that how you want me to react?” Rafe yelled violently.

His words were vibrant with scorn and anger. You could have heard him from outside. He took a step forward.

“Because that is the impression you’re giving me” he continued.

What were you supposed to say in return ? No, instead, how were you supposed to react to that ? At first, indifference seemed to be the best option. That was until Rafe screamed once again. 

“Don’t you dare stay silent! Answer me!”

The vehemence in his tone forced you to face reality: at this very moment, you were so vulnerable. You were nothing more than a hungry young woman, in a room she didn’t know. In a house she didn’t know. If you tried to escape, Rafe, near the frame, would easily stop you. He would grab your wrist before breaking it in a second. The worst part of it was that he wouldn't feel remorse afterwards. 

If you tried jumping over a window, you would also miserably fail. Despite the fall - if your legs were intact, which already seemed impossible -, you would not know where to go to escape from the neighborhood. How would you find the Pogues without your phone? You didn’t even know the way to John B’s house. Or Kiara’s. Rafe would always be one step ahead of you. Even though his father had passed away, he still had Ward’s last name, he was a Cameron. And with it came the benefits. The contacts. One call would be enough to find you and exterminate you for good. Yes, you had no doubt about it; you were trapped with him for good.

To you, it felt atrocious to admit it, but in any case, you would get killed. Wherever you may go, whatever you decided to do, it was over for you. Especially since you had nothing left to protect yourself. If you’d been a little smarter, you might have survived his fists. But no, you had to break your only useful weapon, which now, had become totally useless. What was a knife without its blade ? A minute ago, when Rafe had entered your room in the middle of the night, you literally panicked. Hearing the door crack, the steps approaching the bed… More and more… It had been awful for you. Since you caught his discussion with Topper, you had been making a knife in your spare time, behind Rafe’s back. It had not been no small task. However, with the help of several elements in the room, you had succeeded.

So when you heard Rafe lean towards you, that night, you turned around to jump on him. Unfortunately, you couldn’t even make a move that he broke your weapon in half. As if he had planned each of your actions.

Seriously though, what was going through your head at that moment ? Did you really think you could have gotten rid of Rafe Cameron, the boy who had chased the Pogues to the other side of the world ? It was stupid. You were so stupid, to go after him. For thinking you actually had a chance to beat him. Anf from now on, you would have to face the consequences. Even after your death, you would regret that night. 

“No.” You wanted your answer to be simple, only because you did not know what to respond. “Because you deserve it.”

Rafe’s eyes slowly widened. In fact, he was as astonished as you were. Where did you get the strength to come up with such a response ? The nerves you had !

The moment you opened your mouth, you regretted it. In one simple step, Rafe swallowed the few inches that separated you from him. Good job ! Thanks to your answer, the little sense of security your had — if any remained at all — just disappeared for good. 

Rafe was making you shiver, and in the wrong meaning of the word. He was unbelievably big… Much taller than you, he made you feel dominated. It was like you were a thing he was toying with, and it scared you to death. Fear had paralyzed you, prevented you from raising your chin again and challenging him. You could not physically face him by looking at him in the eyes.

However, on the contrary, Rafe did not stop devouring you with his eyes. As if he was looking one last time at his prey before eating it, you could feel his gaze burning your skin. His heart throbbed intensely too. The attack you had planned on him must have startled him. Right ? He was sulking; taking in deep breaths, so deep that you could clearly hear them. Was it intentional ?

“You saw what I did to that vase a second ago, right ?” Rafe asked. 

And again, you couldn’t react.

Hoping he could force you to reply, Rafe imprisoned your jaw with his venous hand. If he lifted it a little high, he could have blocked your mouth without any difficulty.

“...I must have heard you wrong. What did you just say?”

“Yes, I have seen what you’ve done, Rafe.” Your voice was getting increasingly weak.

“Well I could do a thousand times worse. To you.”

That was it. It was the end. Rafe was going to tighten his grip until he blew your face out.

You chuckled nervously. “Really?”

Rafe gave a simple laugh. A hearty, loud laugh. A bitter one too. As if you suddenly regained your assurance, you scanned the room from left to right. You were looking for a shelter, an object that would allow you to face Rafe without putting yourself in danger.

Not knowing how, Rafe guessed your intentions the second your gaze left his. Cursing, he grabbed your arm aggressively. It was so painful that a guttural sound escaped your throat.

“Now, tell me where the fucking money is!” Rafe barked, furious. “I’m running out of time. And out of patience.”

Just like a dog, he showed the fangs.

“Let go of me!” you shouted.

If Rafe thought you would help him by betraying the Pogues, he thought wrong. Even if it meant being severely hurt, you would remain faithful to your friends.

“You know you’re risking your life here, don't you? If you don’t want to end up like Peterkin, speak up!”

“I have no idea where they might be now. They haven’t tried contacting me again.”

You were lying and Rafe knew it.

“Bullshit!” he muttered stormily.

He gave you a skeptical look. It was amazing how cold and sharp his blue eyes could be sometimes. You wondered: was there a time when they were nothing but caring? Warm, perhaps? God, what were you thinking! While you fantasized about him, the guy was choking you! Rafe only knew nonchalance and vehemence. Comparing him to a nice guy was like comparing a cat to a dragon.

Rafe then knelt to the ground and picked up the small blade. As he was scrutinizing it, he laughed. “Is that what you tried to fuck me up with?”

You let your gaze fall on him. You were too embarrassed to respond.

“Impossible,” Rafe whispered, truly taken aback. “Don’t you see there’s a high difference in size and power between the two of us? Even if I hadn’t countered your attack, I wouldn’t have been badly hurt. What were you expecting, seriously?”

“I wasn’t trying to kill you. I just wanted to hurt you enough for me to get away.”

Skeptical, Rafe frowned. 

“Are you hysterical?”

“See that blood stain on your cheek? The only one hysterical here is you.”

Teeth clenched, Rafe gawked at you, which sent shivers down your spine.

“If you want to shoot me, go ahead," you shouted. "Do it, Rafe! Quickly! I don’t understand why you want to steal this money so much, since you are rich, but whatever! Why is it so interesting, in your view? For little money, you’ve gone this far. Killing people, causing disasters… You even destroyed a historical gem, the Cross of Santo Domingo! And now, you’re going to finish off the girl you took captive. Great. What an achiever.”

“Even if you tried, you would never understand.” Rafe grunted in reply. “Don’t speak to me that way. The Pogues killed my father. The real monsters, here, are by your side. Not mine.”

After he reluctantly mentioned the death of Ward, which was his trauma, Rafe’s forehand began to drip with sweat. “I had to prove to him that I was a son he could be proud of.” he explained, more sincere than ever. “All I did was in order to please him. Satisfy him. I had to become an improved version of him. But all he ever saw was Sarah. All he ever found himself concerned about was Sarah’s fate, not mine! Still, I tried. And these Pogues… they… they killed him. Sarah, his beloved daughter, had its part in the crime. She betrayed me. She betrayed my father, and for that I will not forgive her!”

The grip of his hand around your arm became firmer. At this point, his nails were so deep in they were scratching your skin. Rafe seemed more tense than annoyed. When he spoke again, his voice sounded so weak, so fragile, that you had to focus on it to hear it.

“That's why… you have to tell me where the Pogues are. For me, for my father.”

Despite the emotion of the moment, you stayed lucid. Not wasting time before Rafe snapped, in a sudden gesture, you managed to push him back. He stumbled and fell to the ground. You tried to run in the corridor, but because of Rafe’s hand finding your tibia, you were forced to stop.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he roared. “Stop!”

When he said that last word, you picked up the blade. Yes, the one you found useless a minute ago. Yet, it was your only weapon, a way for you to defend yourself against the psychopath who had been wanting to kill you for days.

“What is it like to be in the position of victim?” you asked while you toyed with it.

Riled up, Rafe struck the air with his fist. A blow hit you, you endured it. The adrenaline that flowed in your veins helped you greatly. As you knelt and were about to stab Rafe in the trachea, you interrupted. 

What the hell were you doing?

As if you had been burned, you broke free of Rafe’s grip. You could have killed him. One second too late, and you would have cut short the life of another human being. No matter how rotten he was, Rafe did not deserve that. You could have become a monster, and that thought terrified you.

“Why…” 

A feverish voice had come to you. You turned back. Unlike before, Rafe was not looking at you proudly, but wept. 

“Why did you try to attack me?”

Your eyes widened in shock. The pinch you felt in your heart was scarier than everything you experienced until then. 

“Don’t play dumb,” you said. “I knew about your plan. I caught you talking with Topper.”

“So you heard nothing! He persuaded me not to kill you. Clearly, I shouldn’t have listened to that asshole. Anyway, he never gave good advice.”

“So it took a friend's words for you not to kill an innocent woman? You pretended to get close to me and stab me in the back. That’s supposed to be the victim’s technique. Didn't know you were such a coward."

You wanted to be sure of yourself. Unfortunately, the trembling voice that came out of your mouth proved otherwise.

“No!” he defended himself. “I was saying something offhand. I wasn’t seriously going to kill you. Are you stupid? In order to reach out to the Pogues, I have to keep you alive and well.”

Then Rafe looked at you.

“When I came into this room, I just wanted to tell you…”

“What is it ?”

“I want you to stay. There, with me.”

“I beg your pardon?”

As you waited for him to carry on, time stood still.

“We’re having a good time together, aren’t we?” he asked.

Without being able to talk, the words were cluttering in your mouth. Rafe was a professional at leaving you stunned. What was he on about ? Complicity ? You just thought he was going to kill you!

To fill the heavy blank, Rafe continued. “I… I’m lost. I don’t know where Rose went. After she stole all the money, she flew off to some fucking country, and she didn’t even try to contact me. As if I wasn’t worth her time... And as for Topper, he’s not a real friend whom I can count on. He would rather save Sarah than me. I have no one, and I feel so alone... At least, even if you are a Pogue, having you here is my only company. It gives me someone to talk to, someone to take care of, and I want that to stay that way. With you by my side, I feel useful.”

“We could have been friends,” you replied. “Whether you kept me away from my friends or not. You didn’t need to go to such an extent! Who would want to befriend you after this?”

“I don't like Pogues. Even if you consider yourself one, you’re more like me, a Kook, because of your rich parents. You have to admit it… You just can’t leave.”

“That is not how you maintain a healthy and stable friendship, you know ? Also, you are aware that I am friends with Sarah. You’re criticizing Topper, but in a certain way, I’m the same as him.”

“Sure. But you weren’t there when they killed Ward. You joined later. Besides, until then, you were the nicest to me.”

Again, you were lost at sea. How could Rafe go from one emotion to another so rapidly ? Before you could escape the house, he pulled you to him and you fell on his lap. His eyes, hungry, went from your eyes to your mouth. You knew what he was going after. You could have pulled away, but no. Instead, you stayed there.

Rafe leant towards you, sealing his lips to yours. Just like him, it had a bitter taste. It was like kissing grapefruit, wet and sour. As the sound of guilt came ringing to your ears, you became more stiff.

Before he locked you up, how many times did you fantasize about Sarah’s brother? More than once, that was for sure. And for that reason only, you gave in.

Damn, he was such a hottie.

You can find me on : Instagram : byaahrs Wattpad : ByAahrs

Thank you for reading <3!

From Aahrs, Love ! 🌴🌺🌴

[ash-isnt-writing]

“Can you just- shut up, for a second?!” Vesker snapped, making Rayan go quiet. He let out a heavy sigh, hands shaking. “I-I only just got home, okay? I had to sit for 16 hours today just to miss the fucking shot on my fucking target and get chewed out for another hour by Mason.”

“I-I-I understand, that it was a bad idea, for me to leave the door unlocked, but the door was the last thought on my mind this morning,” He continued, “when I had an about 16-17 hour work day ahead of me. In any case, is- is it really worth yelling at me for?”

The last statement was rhetoric. They both already knew the answer. But, in classic Rayan fashion, Rayan answered anyway. “Well- of course it is! I could’ve died-!”

“You could’ve but you didn’t!” Vesker yelled, pure rage leaking into his tone. “God, you’re always so fucking- pessimistic! You’re fine, get over it, for fuck’s sake!”

“Yes but I almost wasn’t-!”

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?!”

Rayan went quiet again at this. The question left him wordless, because he didn’t know. He didn’t know why he was even angry at Vesker over this. If he had to leave for a 17 hour workday at 6 in the morning, he probably wouldn’t be able to think straight either.

Yet something in him insisted he was in the right. That he could never be wrong. That Vesker was in the wrong here for not remembering something as simple as locking the door, even if it made sense.

And this part of him got louder until he told himself it was the truth. Until he was sure it was the truth.

“You- all I’m saying is that I’m annoyed you let this happen. Do you want me to die or something?” Rayan said. But then, he instantly regretted it. The hurt look on his fiancé’s face.

Oh, god, that look…

=====================================

A/N!!: Rayan belongs to @v-3-ll-1-ch-0-r (a.k.a @v-3-ll-1-gore (get mentioned idiot /pos)). This was actually quite fun to write!! Even though I am very eepy because it’s 8:56PM. But I’m proud of it :3!! As always, continuations and/or rewrites are encouraged and welcomed, as long as proper credit is in place!!

[inkwell-and-dagger]

[The End is Never The End]

A/N: stanley parable reference?????? no way‼️‼️also I added another paragraph and a bit :3

CW: repeated death, immortal whumpee, I guess sort of psychological warfare in some way??

—> —> —> —> —> —> —>

Death was no longer a foreign concept to Rayan.

He no longer needed rest. He didn't eat, didn't drink, didn't sleep. He died, woke up, and died again. A repeated cycle. All he ever knew. All he ever felt. All he thought about.

Death was like a safe haven, a place to reminisce on those faded feelings of being alive. Of feeling things other than a tingling numbness soaring through his veins. Of seeing things other than a hazed void, of black nothingness stretching on forever. Of hearing something, anything, instead of the deafening silence that blanketed his ears.

Death was nothing. It was everything, but nothing simultaneously. It was loud, deafening perhaps, but silent. It was horribly overwhelming, but at the same time, his senses felt deprived. He couldn't describe it. He doubted anyone could.

Every time he came back, after every gasp of breath, he felt the same cold metal dig into his skin and slit his throat. Again, and again, and again once more. He no longer feared the knife. He no longer feared any of them. Their faces were a blur in his mind, distorted and hazy, but whoever they were, he wasn't scared. He didn't feel anything towards them. No disdain, or hatred, or terror, just.. nothing. Numbness. He was used to it.

Every time he died seemed more boring than the last. He'd wake up on the ground, weak and barely conscious in the first place, until someone finds him and puts him out of his misery again. Then, he returns to the void he deemed as home. His safe space. His special haven, away from whatever world he lived in when he was a living, breathing thing.

He was losing touch with reality with every passing second. He couldn't tell if he was alive or not, how many times his throat had been slit, how many breaths he'd taken for the past week. Or was it a month? Or a year? More? He didn't know. Time had virtually no purpose anymore, as the cycle repeated all day, all night, from one hour to the next. How long was a minute? How long was an hour? A day? He didn't know.

The end was never really the end for Rayan Hyacinth.

Every time. Every day. Every minute. Of every hour. Again. And again. And again. He was dead. Alive. Then dead again. It repeated. An endless, inescapable cycle of death and nothing more.

—> —> —> —> —> —> —>

[yokohama-crackhouse]

Hello,👋

‎‏I hope you are doing well.

Iam Rola Isam a mother of four children in Gaza.

‎‏I am writing to you today with hope and trust in your compassionate hearts. My family is facing very difficult circumstances due to the war in gaza, and we are in urgent need of assistance after the occupation destroyed our home in north of gaza.

I am seeking funding for my campaign to save my children, and any reblogging of my post on my account can make a big difference.

Asking for help is not easy, I ask for a small donation of only 50€ from each person, 50€ will save my family from death in Gaza

‎‏Please, if you can repost my message or contribute in any way, you will give us

a lifeline in these difficult times.

The situation here is getting worse day by day. ‏

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for any support you can offer.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-me-complete-my-treatment-and-rebuild-my-destroyed-home

‼️ LOW DONATIONS

€496 raised of €60,000 target

ONLY 11 DONATIONS SINCE APRIL

Please donate if you can to help save Rola Abu Hashem and her family after the occupation destroyed their home!!

Rola's family consists of her husband, Tamer Abu Mostafa, and her four very children: Rayan, 8 years old; Ibraheem, 5 years old; Karmel, 3 years old; and her little daughter who is only about 9 or 10 months old, that has been forced to subsist on canned foods due to malnutrition. Additionally, Rola also requires treatment, urgently needing a bone transplant in her lower jaw. Please donate if you can, even $5 helps. And if you can't donate, send it to someone who can.

[fatalemuse]

◞ ♡  what’s in a name? : wealth.

below the cut are 50 names that relate to wealth in their native languages. feel free to use these names as you’d like. this is part four of my what’s in a name series. if you found this helpful, please like and/or reblog!

pt. I - beauty.

pt. II - strength

pt III. - death

adaire ( german ) adelik ( indian ) arika ( indian ) audney ( norse ) ayser ( muslim ) caige ( latin ) cherree ( french ) darius ( greek ) darrah ( irish ) derrien ( celtic ) dhani ( hindi ) eada ( english ) eamon ( english ) eda ( norse ) eddie / edie ( english ) edwin / edwina ( english ) elodie ( french ) flossie ( latin ) fortune / fortunata ( latin ) gaynes ( english ) goldie ( english ) gretchen ( german ) iden ( celtic ) imran ( arabic ) jeslyn ( hebrew ) jesse ( hebrew ) kamran ( persian ) kody ( irish ) koki ( japanese ) koloa ( polynesian ) mahogany ( spanish ) meera ( hebrew ) midas ( greek ) monet ( french ) nadalyne ( english ) neema ( swahili ) nimah ( arabic ) odais ( german ) odette ( french ) olanda ( norse ) otis ( german ) ozara ( hebrew ) prospero ( latin ) rayan ( arabic ) ryker ( german ) tashi ( russian ) teddy ( french ) thara ( muslim ) ventura ( italian ) zada ( arabic )

[catdotjpeg]

The Palestinian town of Jericho has named a street after Aaron Bushnell, the US air force member who set himself on fire outside the Israeli embassy in Washington to protest against the war in Gaza. The 25-year-old, who died on 25 February, “sacrificed everything” for Palestinians, said the mayor of Jericho, Abdul Karim Sidr, as the street sign was unveiled on Sunday. “We didn’t know him, and he didn’t know us. There were no social, economic or political ties between us. What we share is a love for freedom and a desire to stand against these attacks [on Gaza],” the mayor told a small crowd gathered on the new Aaron Bushnell Road.

[...]

In Jericho, Bushnell’s extreme act is seen as the most powerful expression of grassroots solidarity. Amani Rayan, a Jericho city council member who grew up in Gaza and moved to the occupied West Bank to study aged 19, said: “He [Bushnell] sacrificed the most precious thing, whatever your beliefs. This man gave all his privileges for the children of Gaza... He was a soldier who with his last breath, despite the pain, shouted ‘free Palestine’. This means he was clear to the depths of his being about why he was doing it.”

[...]

Jericho named the street just a fortnight after Bushnell’s death. “We made a quick decision so we would be first,” Sidr said. They also named a square for South Africa after its government took Israel to the international court of justice, accusing it of genocide. “These names will focus attention of both the locals and visitors,” Sidr said, adding that they were following a precedent set after the death of the activist Rachel Corrie. A street in Ramallah was named for the American after she was crushed to death by a bulldozer in 2003 while trying to prevent the Israeli army destroying homes in Gaza.

[...]

Aaron Bushnell Street is in the south of the city in a popular area of villas and parks, where people go for horse-riding and go-carting. It branches off from Mahmoud Darwish Street, named after the unofficial national poet of Palestine. Rayan said: “Here Aaron Bushnell and Mahmoud Darwish meet. Both are powerful names in the Palestinian story.” Like many in Jericho she hopes Bushnell’s family will visit. “We want to thank them for raising him and giving him that moral attitude.”

-- From "Palestinian town of Jericho names street after US soldier who set himself on fire" by Emma Graham-Harrison, 10 Mar 2024

[otomelavenderhaze]

I can't stop thinking about the cave dialogue in which Rayan talks about Chloé, his ex wife, therefore I went back to read whole scene back from University Life episode 8, because what Rayan describes in episode 17 of LL is too diferent from that UL episode and from everything I could remember about it.

It's not to say that I caught some sort of insane discrepancy and AHÁ!

It's more because I find it interesting and I thought maybe others would find it interesting as well. So first I wanna show you what Rayan says in episode 8 of UL (which I never translated before until this post):

In my playthrough of it, back in the day, I asked him directly if he have a wife, which he answers yes first and then the proceeds to talk about it...

"And she will forever be my wife. But the last time we saw each other was seven years ago. Already… seven years… My wife, Chloé, died seven years ago. In a terrorist attack. Some savages came in shooting. No fixed target. In shop windows, in people and even in children."

"There were many wounded, and fortunately few dead. But Chloé is one of those who didn't survive… All that happened seven long years ago. It took me time. At first I didn't want to move. I wanted to keep everything, the smallest memory."

Now why I am showing this 4 panells?

This is important to understand how she died, how sad Rayan showed us to be about her death and his attachment towards Chloé.

He even goes as far to say:

"We met in high school and we got married at 23, in a hurry. We didn't tell anyone. But I'm not going to lie to you and say that everything was all roses."

Candy asks him, how so?

"We often quarreled. We stayed together for a long time, we didn't get to know anyone but each other and, sometimes, we even doubted. But when she left… I was torn apart."

Now we will never know why they used to fight, what made them marry so young and so quickly to the point where he implies they didn't even had a wedding ceremony.

Which makes this difficult to understand what compelled both of them to take such actions - maybe they they were just impulsive, but without a reason behind such impulsivity it's hard to tell if it was warrant or not.

But then, the actual panel that made me do this post in the first place eventually comes up in that same conversation with Candy:

"I loved her with all my soul. Before anything else, she was my best friend. But, sorry… I opened up too much…"

And I believe he did, regardless of anything else, because it makes sense for Rayan's character to marry someone for love.

That's the kind of "person" he is, that's why when he falls for Candy, he's ready to assume so many risks and even later talks about leaving his job for her just so they could have a less tense relationship.

This sets up him to be someone that would intensily love another person and do everything for them - they being Chloé or Candy.

I could say this is actually the point of that whole conversation: to show that he isn't someone that takes love lightly or shallowly, which helps us readers to trust his intentions and to believe that, yes, for love he would indeed be honorable, truth and passionate, instead of a player or a man that just wants to have fun with one of his students.

Not mentioning that he presents himself as a tortured soul that lost a wife tragically and never fell in love ever since, but falls in love for you, the reader, because you're special and irreplaceable, is something very flattering and, even, I dare say, romantic.

Meow meow is sad and you're the only one who can fix that for him.

Personally, I don't like how mcl writes grief, I don't think they know how to dose it without losing their hand, so it comes off as shallow for me, but I guess it serves as another thing: Chloe was loved by Rayan, but Candy needs to be special. The player needs to feel special.

Which brings us to this part of the conversation:

"Every women had something of her own. I saw her everywhere. And yet, it's been seven years. Since then, I have been unable to get involved with another woman, in a new relationship. Even in a simple friendship."

"Until… I met you. I don't know… For the first time, I met someone who has none of her. For the first time, I felt entitled not to think about her."

I understand why in an otome game is important to get the romance right and make the player feel compelled to play the character's route, after all, who wouldn't want to feel special, even if it's only on a game - that's why we have so many MCs or main characters in videogames that are heroes, that cares of others or the place they belong to.

However, I will say, maybe they should've worded it differently, maybe it's not so much about feeling entitled to not think about her, but when I realized, I wasn't searching for her traits on you, I wasn't thinking about her anymore, I was ready to move on. But this is just how I would've done it, just so it would come from Rayan the agency of the "healing" - in another words, he had healed himself before he met Candy and falling in love with her was just another evidence of that.

Which brings us back to episode 17 of Love Life, our Honeymoon episode (and pay attention to the parts that I will mark in blue):

"Y'know, I honestly didn't think I would get over losing her. And then after you got in my classroom and into my life. So, yes, I should have a star up there shining for me. Because, with you, I understood the meaning of true love. And it wasn't the same of what I had with Chloé."

"Sometimes, I think, if the story/timeline was another, if I had met you first before I met her... She and I would've been simply friends, without anything else between us. If fate hadn't been so cruel with her, it would've ended like that anyway, actually. I think she would have been happy to see me so happy these days."

"Just like I would have been in seeing her meeting someone else just as important as you're for me. And when I think of her today, is in this way: as a friend that left too soon. And that, of course, I still get a little with my heart tight. She was someone wonderful/beautiful. There's still some of her in me. But, when I met you, I was like a ghost."

Only Rayan to friendzone the dead.

"Thanks to you and our love, she just became a beautiful star, just like my father..."

At first I thought he was saying that he never really loved Chloé and that Candy made him realize that (How? Don't ask me, he doesn't say how), but thinking about this post and re-reading everything made me rethink my first impression of it.

It's not so much that he didn't loved Chloé, but admittedly, and for reasons that Rayan didn't say, he thought love was something else and he thought he loved her because of that notion, and then his notion of love changed because he met Candy and now he thinks that love is truly what he feels for Candy.

I, as someone that played all of his route, can't really say or even figure out how he would've come up with that reasoning.

Was it because for the first time ever, he had put someone else on his top priority, or at least in a more important position than his reputation and career (which he deeply cares for)? But wasn't he a passionate person to begin with? So isn't it natural for him, once he was sure he fell in love for Candy, to put her as his top priority?

Was it Candy presence alone in his life, simply being there, what made him create that notion? How she taught him that?

I don't know, because the way they fell in love was pretty quick and pretty normal I would dare say - normal not in the sense of, he was her teacher, normal in the sense there was nothing remarkable about their dates, the way they sneak around or in their conversations.

I think if he had realize that falling in love with someone new meant that he had "healed" from his past trauma, that he only had feelings for her because he was ready to have feelings for someone again and the sense of normalcy and easiness he felt in being with her was all he ever wanted after going through so much sadness and heartbreak, then, it would make more sense and sound more realistic, maybe?

But again, they wanted to spin that Candy was special, she needed to be the one that changed him, that was like gravity to him and he could not resist the pull of her.

“... It's just that, with you, I never got under the impression of playing any kind of game. Because I had a lot to lose. Before I met you, I had accepted to never love again. I didn’t want to ever risk lose someone ever again... And, above all, you came to enroll in my course. I looked up and knew that my certainties were worthless...” (episode 14 LL)

That's why I talked about his career before.

They set up Rayan to be someone that loves his work, that cares about his reputation and his career, if not, as he only thing he had since he moved away from his family and was living alone.

Risk it all for Candy was to show that he wasn't playing, he wasn't just trying to get a kick out of it.

And knowing how he got after when Marina actually got him fired, how much of a mess it made him, this put things even more in context, it shows that truly, risk it all for her was no joke, even thou, they used to be pretty reckless about it (never gonna forget their first kiss, crazy, both of them).

Which brings me to one of my favorite parts of dialogue in Rayan's route, episode 15 LL, the marriage proposal dialogue:

"It’s funny... for a long time I thought that love was like a burning fire. And I even thought that, in my case, all that was left was ashes of it. Until I met you and I understood that I didn’t know anything. That I have got it wrong in my whole life. With you, I understood that love is like a stream/flow. A wave that breaks again and again without stopping. And that drags everything wherever it goes. You imposed yourself on me like an evidence. In the calm. I knew it right away. But I only understood it this well later on."

Think that love was like a burning fire: it lights up, it shines bright, it consumes itself, then it becomes ashes and there's nothing left of it.

Ouch, Rayan. 😢

Not to mention the destructive nature of fire, but I don't think Rayan or the person who wrote this scene thought it like that necessarily, I think it had more to do with how fragile and how it consume itself, which feels more how like I would expect from how Rayan described his relationship with Chloé before: intense, too quick to think everything through, the fighting, the feeling that it wouldn't last anyway.

Meanwhile Candy is like a strong wave or a strong stream, his love for her dragged everything with it: all his reasoning, his principles and scruples, the risk of losing his reputation, his career, AND breaking again and again, because it didn't matter if he had build any walls to keep her out in the begining, she somehow brought it all down.

Two kinds of love, one feeling less truth and lasting than the other.

While it would've better, in his head, to have remain just a friendship with Chloé, with Candy, there was no way for it to have ended just in friendship, it would always be more.

You can see the contrast between his feelings for Chloé and his feelings for Candy, how it was different and the key word should always be different.

It surprised me to see him talking about their wedding too, Rayan and Chloé married young and in a hurry (we will never know why), meanwhile, Rayan found Candy in a stage of his life when love wasn't even in the table and when it finally came back to the table, Rayan wanted everything, he wanted celebrate it having a proper wedding ceremony and all.

But those are little subtle things that they left out in the air, instead of saying it so clearly like they did so many times before.

Personally, I don't think would've make any sense for Rayan's character to haven't love Chloé, considering they built a life together before he even met Candy, the same way, I don't think we could've ever thought that Rayan loved Chloé more or even the same way he loved Candy.

Cuz, Chloé and Candy not only met him in different moments of his life BUT ALSO, they totally two different women, it would go without saying it.

But I guess, they wanted to make it even more screaming that it was the case, which I can understand why.

I mean, people thought that Rayan had really tried something with Marina, outside of his route: which for those people I always told it would be impossible.

It would go against what they presented to us about him during that first dialogue in episode 8 of UL and it would represent a contradiction in the writing itself. It would bend the rules that they set themselves to follow too grotesquely. Not to mention, MCL never gave other love interests to the Lis that stayed on the side lines.

Unless, of course, they had set things up that we would understand that Marina was such a special existence is moving like Candy - which, okay, I could've accepted it, but they didn't so. That's why I was so sure of it.

Y'know, have to read so much back in his route to make this post made saying goodbye to his route so hurtful but also so fulfilling, I always loved how they wrote him, despite having my criticisms, I am happy that I got to experience Rayan's route from the start to end.

If you haven't played his route like ever, I totally I encourage you to do it now that we got it all. xD