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Lay of Leithian: The Rock-Opera
Subtitled Livestream- 30th April, 2023
Two different fates are woven together when Lúthien, an elven princess, falls in love with Beren, a hero of mortal men. To win her hand, Beren is sent on an impossible quest- to cut a legendary gem from the crown of the Dark Lord. So begins this battle between light and darkness, love and duty, in the most enduring tale of Tolkien’s Middle Earth.
Здравствуйте, друзья! Hello, friends!
Want to experience a new Tolkien adaptation? Our little Leithian fandom would like to invite you to one of our livestreams! Come join myself and some other fun Silmarillion fans as we watch this Tolkien rock opera together.
Where: Cytube (video stream) / Discord (live chat)
• Links will be posted here, 1 hour before the stream
When: Sunday, 30th April, 1pm EST / 10am PDT / 19:00 CET
Run Time: 1hr, 35m, with a 15 minute intermission
Performance Details: 24th November 2022 live broadcast
Language: Russian / Subtitles: English, Finnish, Spanish
Additional Material:
• Lay of Leithian translation • Links and resources
See you soon! 🤘
#tolkien#jrr tolkien#silmarillion#lay of leithian#beren and luthien#lol the rock opera#this is my super clever scheme to get people excited before the next broadcast#rather transparent i know but#i always look forward to these livestreams and i really hope we find some new people#it's fun it's free and it's SUPER subtitled y'all
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i feel like some people r missing the tragedy of timebomb somewhat bc i've seen a few ppl say that ekko was only in love with powder in the alt universe and not jinx, and it's like.. first of all they are the same person. they are the same person in different circumstances. but secondly ekko seeing that good universe, i think, instilled in him the belief that fixing the problems in his universe was still possible, that peace between piltover and zaun was still possible, that jinx wasn't doomed or irredeemable. ppl highlight his selflessness in being able to leave the good universe behind, but i think a big part of WHY he left was bc of the hope he had for his world. that's why timebomb is so tragic to me! ekko returned with the drive to make everything right, strengthened by knowing it wasn't some unattainable out-of-reach goal. and he came so so so close but was still a little too late
#ekko#jinx#arcane#timebomb#arcane spoilers#just look at the lyrics to ma meilleure ennemie - they're about his feelings for /jinx/. his universe's jinx particularly#how she's his 'enemy' but he still loves her and would rather be together w her than apart#he gave up on her before and he wasn't going to let himself give up again#being transparent: my feelings behind this are def connected to my own philosophical/political beliefs lol#if i was in ekko's place i would also choose to go back to my universe. esp knowing there's even a sliver of a chance to make it better#it sometimes feels so hard to imagine a better world is possible but you still gotta kill the nihilistic side of you#because it's so much easier to give up and you can't let yourself do that
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KIM NU RIM AS DOHOE
Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo (2024) | 1.01
Ready to get my heart crushed by another Hwang Da Seul production </3
#let free the curse of taekwondo#kim nu rim#korean bl#bl series#bl drama#mambo.gifs#his character already crushes me#the theme of breaking out of your confinement#you can see him doing that with juyeong actively pursuing him despite saying anything to keep distance#i know hyeonho is going to have major influence in their dynamic due to his past with dohoe#but i wonder if he sees dohoe with juyeong and living vicariously through juyeong and his transparency and kindness towards dohoe#but due to them being from a small town with restrictive elders: he'd rather defy and let dohoe go than pursue something more#honestly: idk which scenario is more tragic in my eyes#acting like you hate the person you love most or knowing that your person got away and is clearly happy with another person#much to think about until next week!
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i "did a thing" if you will
kefta's oh me oh my!!
*canonically ignorant keftas
(individuals n in-depth analysis aka rambling under cut)
darkling
i mean. what do you want. B L A C K.
the pattern (which you must zoom in to see) is a swirly deal, different from the sun summoner swirls; more like wood grain
sun summoner
sun rays! swirly swirls! yellow! idk just look at!!
squallers
more swirls! these were kinda hell but idk i like em
inferni
first big divergence: orange as opposed to red. i made sure not to have any repeat embroidery colors.....even though i changed alkemi so there is no red anymore.............anyway. i'm iffy on this one bc i suck at drawing fire but i think it turned out (it's mostly just the upper side panels cuz they look a lil too fur-ish)
tidemakers
they were teal in the show right?? idk but. this one might me my favorite, but i do fear it's a lil complicated, but then again: i can do whatever the fuck i want. and no i cannot draw water without copying the great wave. whatever it's sick
heartrenders
coporalnik were harrdddddd. heartrenders are--naturally-usually symbolized by the heart but i hate drawing real hearts so cartoon hearts it is!! kinda feel like that kinda heart wouldn't exist in this universe..... but hey look it pointy
healers
heart but upside down!! (seriously what r u supposed to do.) plus bandage imagery, as a treat. these two were really just Vibes.
durasts
also pretty hard, also mostly just Vibes. btw it is a distinctly different shade of gray (1 of 50, i've heard) from the squaller silver. u will not catch me lacking nice try bud
alkemi
the most notable sticker-outer--yea she's green. i mean cmon we have enough red and no green and everybody knows science is green. anyway this is another one of my favs. vapor clouds and bubbles what's not to love
i do love the embroidery in the show, especially how, yk, much there is of it, and how identifiable it makes it, but on the other hand the books only ever mention the cuffs and hems so i like to think i struck a nice balance
#and yes. no tailors i know#full transparency 1 i was lazy 2 i've never liked the red and blue and the white would feel rather flippant#and 3: the excuse#true tailors are rare enough that they can choose whatever the fuck they want#anyway#grishaverse#shadow and bone#shadow and bone trilogy#shadow and bone netflix#s&b#s&b trilogy#s&b netflix#grisha trilogy#the grisha trilogy#soc#six of crows#leigh bardugo#kefta#kefta designs
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All I’m going to say I think now that my brain remembered part of what it was thinking is that Taylor and Joe went through a lot together (good and bad) and regardless of how it ended or what led to it they both seem to be determined to keep that private and not throw each other under the bus and in the end they’re just two very, very different people whose outlooks in the long term were just never going to align and never has that been clearer.
#I AM NOT DEFENDING HIM JUST TO BE CLEAR#I’m just saying… he said a lot of nothing in those quotes beyond ‘people on the internet suck’#which is true#and both he and Taylor are keeping things close to the vest about it all#and just seems to me that whatever they went through together they are determined to keep it between them so that’s the end of that#(again in contrast to how she has no qualms about reading m for filth)#he’s just some guy and now he gets to be just some guy forever#and she gets to be extraordinary#like yes the loving committed thing raises eyebrows given how much pain she was in#but like he could have shaded her about how it ended too and he didn’t#AND I AM NOT DEFENDING HIM#we know he was a terrible partner and she felt like shit#I’m just saying neither of them want to delve into the specifics and i think they’re just moving into footnotes in each other’s lives now#like i want to make it clear AGAIN I am not condoning anything on his part here — clearly there were huge issues#I’m just saying just because he may have sucked as a partner doesn’t mean the internet being cruel isn’t also true idk#and yes it’s transparent why he’s choosing to speak out now (or rather why the Sunday times is choosing to reach out to him now)#but like… idk i just can’t muster up any feeling about this man one way or the other lol#and take cues from Taylor (and even him) she’s determined to keep it between them other than the broad strokes#so I’m following her/their lead#(like I have thoughts about why but that’s not important and ultimately is just… it’s the most normal of ltr breakups)#like he just sounds a little pretentious with his ‘real life’ which like… good on him keep living that real life you do you dude#meanwhile his ex is flourishing with every passing week and milestone and is living her unabashed best life#and they’re probably both happier for it now
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Beyond Kenny, do you have a favourite character? Out of the boys at least, and I mean favourite as in “oh he’s a cutie patutie” and even “I want to swaddle him and syringe feed him soup”.
It has to be between Clyde or Scott Malkinson, right?
(Except for in TFBW because despite him being a very useful ally, the diabetic rage repeated lines were very annoying after, like, the second go – and then the over the top Mosquito roleplay. I don’t think it’d be so vexing, more cute, if the dialogue strips weren’t repeated at least 20 times per round 😭 but maybe that’s just me)
Hmm. Aside from Kenny, my favs change all the time. Right now I'm kinda fixated on Bebe. I have q'd up every single post mentioning Tammy W that I can find (with a few exceptions). I've posted about Kevin M enough that I think other Kevin fans can recognize me.
I think Kyle is one of the cutest kids in the whole show. Mr. Mackey is relatable at times and I feel represented in the way he talks, plus his design is iconic. I love Nichole's design too (and IMO she's the real 3rd girl. Don't tell Red lovers I said that though). Garrison is hilarious. Nathan is criminally underutilized. I wish Francis Redhead played a more mahor role. Henrietta is objectively one of the best 4th grade girls IMO.
I've also been trying to make a record of every single appearance of a few background characters who I ship and even commissioned art for. I intend to write wiki entries for them both eventually. I've also become weirdly invested in the shenanigens of Enchoritoes Mark and his wife who I've nicknamed Emma.
Yeah. My fav changes all the time. But I'll always love Kenny
#The only exceptions I have for the Tammy Q right now are:#1) posts bashing her#2) there's a few blogs dedicated to her; mostly RP accounts. Arguably every single post on those could qualify for the Q#With those I normally just Q up PNGs or any particularly interesting posts#3) there's been a couple posts I've been unsure about Q-ing where she's mentioned but never by name#Typically in these posts she's just called 'kenny's girlfriend' and was only brought up to study kenny and how his friends -#- feel about him#In a lot of these posts Tammy could be swapped out for cat urine and nothing would really change#'His friends are protective and don't want him to kill himself while having sex etc etc'#Which... implies some things about Tammy's role in the show that I'm aware of but would rather not think about#SP is not character driven and jokes come first and the head writer is a divorced middle aged man; yall know this stuff#Oh and 4) a percentage of posts with tammy in it are just that one gif of kenny dancing#Because it's impossible to crop her out without making it transparent lol#Sometimes I Q up this gif; sometimes I don't. It depends on my mood really
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“wow, cloud and tifa have such a fascinating dynamic! trauma-bonding as the sole survivors of a horrific massacre while also not having actually seen each other in years is such a cool way to explore trauma and growth! i wonder what people are saying about them online! :D”
what people are saying about them online, every time, without fail:
#i hate it here so bad#straight people are honestly the worstttttttt#tifa is either a sex object or a mother and there is no in between w these people#the unchecked misogyny is unhinged#say what u will abt some sfkrs at least even the weird ones dont care enough abt women to say their bad takes out loud 😭#the amt of people i see say just like. the most transparently misogynistic bullshit and call it cutesy ship tropes makes me want 2 eat glass#mine#IDK. there is something so visceral about their flavor of childhood friends#‘i knew you when you were a different person. i know you the way you were then better than i know you how you are now’#‘i know you better than most. i know your birthday and your favorite color and the scar you have from trying to skateboard off the roof’#‘and simultaneously most people know you better than i do. i dont know who you are now.’#‘and im the last person left who remembers you as you were rather than as you are. for better or worse’#but the entire fanbase (and even fuckin squeenix for the most part because they r so misogynistic it hurts)#dgaf abt any of that and are here only for stale misogynistic ship bait
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[Start ID. A digital drawing of Minos Prime from Ultrakill, who's wearing a strapless slit dress and sandals of the same deep purple. He faces towards and slightly to the right of the camera, his head is tilted further right. With one hand he gestures in a vague pointing motion, his arm folded and held close to his body. There is nothing in the background, but bracing himself on one arm, Minos is implied to be leaning against something about the height of a countertop. The background is a blank purplish black, save for three diagonal stripes in the colors of the bisexual flag. End ID]
Shading study that quite literally came to me in a dream two weeks ago, after this post apparently beamed itself into my mind
(also a few edits below the cut! they're very slight but whatever :])
[Start ID. Three different versions of the previous drawing. The first changes the tone of the lighting from blue to pink, and similarly the shading from pink to blue. The second replaces the faint black border with pink, purple and blue, syncing with the stripes in the background. The third combines both these changes. End ID]
#the tags got NERFED so let's try this again.#peridots-art#minos prime ultrakill#ultrakill#ask to tag#organs#...? gore maybe? for the whole ''transparent chest/visible cardiovascular system'' thing. not very detailed/realistic though so#i don't think this has all of the same charm as i usually find in my posts. but i tried my best to make it work so i don't think it matters#also ''not too happy with how this turned out'' is something i've seen tacked onto posts worthy of being preserved in museums#i heard someone say his snakes should be ball pythons. i'm not autistic about snakes so i decided to listen to the masters#i still have seven levels to p-rank before i can meet this guy!! halfway there (lust/greed and 1-3 remaining) i've only had my own copy#of ultrakill for a week and i already have 33 hours in. anyway he's grown on me i think. absolute bi king and only monarch i respect <3#i think it's interesting how i now define my queerness by being gray-ace and trans when i first only identified with bisexual. it's still#an important part of me even if sometimes i forget. sorry that sounds completely unrelated but it's related to my feelings on this piece#anyway (i wonder how many ''anyway''s i've slapped on so far) i also find it interesting how often people draw him with this body type.#i think it's cool there's variety in how people draw the uk characters. it just kinda feels right here? i know i unfortunately don't draw#fat characters often at all (partially due to being a primarily fandom blog who likes to stick to canon designs. i wouldn't say i have#trouble with drawing a realistic amount of fat even on rather thin people though lol) but i try! also genuinely unsure what counts as like.#fat vs chubby? or whatever? i don't know exactly how the terminology works and a fair amount of minos' bulk is muscle anyway but. yeah 👍#men are pretty in dresses my final message. goodbye
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Besides Anthy what other characters do you are aro- or any kind of a-spec?
All Of Them.
on a more serious note, im very partial to the following aspec readings of characters:
aroace/aroace lesbian nanami; one thing to know about me is that i realised i was aromantic because of two things. the first is that i wrote a 55k word fanfiction about two side characters from the 2005 bbc political satire 'the thick of it' that was basically just me airing my fundamental discomfort with romantic relationships, and the second is watching her tragedy and the romance of the dancing girls for the first time. Yeag.
aromantic nanami is profoundly important to me and i really just resonate with her character on a personal level. like shes so me. i dont get it. i too have convinced myself of all kinds of taboo and 'weird' affections and feelings because i Dont Understand Romance (just as a side note: i understand why some people take the cold turkey 'nanami never considered romantic feelings for her brother!!' reading, but for me personally. i think it's important to consider nanami considering those feelings, specifically because they make her feel uncomfortable, alienated, etc. there's also lots of interesting things to be said about how incest can affirm heteronormativity (and how it can't!! but that's more of a kaoru twins can of worms)).
and there's other stuff but we needn't get into that. i love when other people feel able to talk in-depth about how their personal expereinces shape their responses to rgu, but im not quite at that point with certain things. i do also just really like reading nanami as an aroace lesbian bc i find her connection with utena specifically to be soooooo. gah. delicious. fascinating. devastating. and also i love aroace lesbains they are the best
asexual utena; i just think he's neat :} sometimes i feel hesitant to read characters as asexual if theyre teenagers or if they have sexual trauma and funnily (not) enough, utena is both! having said that, i recently decided 'fuck it' and have been thinking about this interpretation of his character more and more. like, my aromantic identity is partially political, partially trauma-informed, and i feel quite strongly about queerness in part being one's choice to define (or not define) themselves on their own terms, be they 'contradictory' or 'inaccurate' or whatever the hell else.
i also have a fondness for asexual masculine characters. me personally i read utena as butch and transmasc and i think it's really interesting to think about how that queer masculinity can be expressed outside of allosexuality, especially considering what rgu as a show tries to do wrt that matter. dont ask me about my feelings on ikuhara and false dichotomies of love and lust in his works or i WILL explode ok sarazanami is The aroallo show and im soooo normal about it all tbh
i have this kind of vague arospec touga reading that im always knocking about in my head but kind of scared to talk about online because like. it's quite a lot to get into and, as an aroallo person, i dont want to get into discourse about if it's problematic to read a character like touga in that way. bc like. i dont think it is. but that's because i'm basing this reading off of my own lived experience and understanding of what aromantic allosexuality can look like. to be honest, if i really had to stick labels on them (bc labels are a shorthand to me that never fully express the complexity of identity that i want to personally (writer disease)) i read anthy as an aromantic lesbian and touga as aromantic and gay. but normally you would have to waterboard that out of me because im terrified of how people who aren't aroallo respond to aroallo conceptions of like... Anything. lol.
i think the tldr of Why im compelled by those similar readings of their characters is. something about how terrifying and constraining and rigid and incomprehensible and inaccessible romance feels to me as a concept. and something else about how important sex is to me as a concept, and kind of. this radical sex positivity that is so essential, imho, to beginning to unpack the issues baked into our hetero- and amatonormative conceptions of romance and sex, and thus reclaim human connection as we please. blah blah blah wah wah wah body as a bargaining chip or whatever (guy who is mildly terrified of talking about these things for Reasons).
that's it for specific readings i have of specific characters, but i will say that i do find it hard to put myself in the shoes of certain characters if im thinking of them as alloromantic. like i think juri probably is but i dont not understand her conflict with shiori and why it agonises her so much. but tbf, most of my focus on juri as a character is her struggle for self-acceptance and her fascinating gender troubles. funnily enough, that's also kind of how i feel about saionji. they are just both so genderfuck self-hating gay plagued by the power dynamics and i love that for them.
anway yeag :} rejoice, aromanticism be upon ye
#anyway thats enough being perceived for the day#normally when writing character analysis i try to limit my 'if i was this guy' response bc it can often be unhelpful#but in this context i think it's warranted. and i'd rather be transparent about that#like these are just MY interpretations that are entirely and heavily formed by my life experiences and understanding of my identity#and you know i do want to write something longform about aromanticism in rgu and ikuhara's works generally#but in doing that i would have to ground it in the personal. that's what it is and not doing so would present a very different argument#ie one that's kind of like 'and this is the truth and the whole truth and everyone else is wrong'#when my aspec readings are all like. 'here's where im coming from and here's how this was resonant for me'#'and hopefully that might help you understand me and others like me better :)'#ANYWAY ENOUGH VULNERABILITY#dais.txt#dais talks aspec
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i feel like i’ve been WAITING for the other shoe to drop wrt people’s opinions about watcher for this very reason. not that i think the reaction is completely not understandable but the greater the parasocial relationship, the greater the fallout as soon as public opinion shifts. you don’t have a relationship with these people they’re just content creators, chill
#ready to see all the people coming out of the woodwork to say how they’ve never liked watcher/unsolved/etc#and act like it’s ‘cringe’ now that their fanbase feels ‘betrayed’#it’s great to have a fanbase but parasocial relationships will bite you in the ass every single time#it’s interesting too though because i’ve seen watcher have a LOT of support as they’ve tried to build something separate from buzzfeed#so this is the first time they’re getting real pushback about a decision they’ve made wrt shifting their platform/expanding their brand#so ig we’ll have to see how they react moving forward#but it’s soooo interesting to see how enthusiastically people dump on buzzfeed#AND how many people dump on youtube and how over the years so much of its functionality has been stripped away#how many ads you have to sit through. how much sponsored content there is now. etc#but when they try to do the same thing with youtube that they did with buzzfeed it’s like how dare you not lick their boots#because if you lick their boots and we lick their boots we can watch stuff for free#anyway.#even if you don’t any to say it’s a bad business decision. it’s not like there’s not precedent for it#1) the move away from buzzfeed was successful and 2) what about the dnd shows or whatever#don’t you guys watch those dnd shows that are ‘behind a paywall’#don’t you guys have netflix hulu disney hbo amazon etc ad nauseum that are actually owned by billion dollar corporations#don’t you guys get on your high horses about supporting independent artists all the time#it’s interesting that people will profess to be such big fans!!! and feel like they’re friends!!!!#but how dare they think their work might be worth paying for#idk. idk. it’s entitlement though#sorry for the rant i’m ALSO not trying to blindly defend a bunch of people i don’t know#but you guys are being soooo fucking annoying about it lol#anyway i’m still waiting to see what their response is going to be from here before jumping to conclusions#also to be fair i am biased to be lenient about decisions made by independent filmmakers vs big studios etc#like everybody freaking out about the ai art used in late night with the devil. who cares honestly#‘they should’ve paid a real artist!!’ idk maybe their budget didn’t cover that#i don’t want it to become the industry norm but at the end of the day i would rather see indie shit getting made then only seeing#the big studios (who don’t have equitable practices anyway!!) making shit#but that’s another conversation. just to be transparent about my viewpoint on this kind of thing#maybe controversial but also can’t we have nuance. for once.
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Month 7, day 5
Help I keep playing with the magic effects and I don't know if I like the sparklies or not D:
Definitely got the squiggles down, I think, but do the sparkles make it too busy? Or do they add a nice accent? Have I been staring at this too long? I think I've been staring at it too long lol
#the great artscapade of 2024#art#my art#Forspoken#Forspoken fan art#frey holland#athian script#athian font#graphic design#wonder how the transparency effects will turn out when I upload this to teepublic?#we'll find out together :)#or rather I guess *I'll* find out and let y'all know#as soon as I'm done fucking with it#whenever that may be#really need to make a decision on sparkles or no sparkles tho
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Oh! I just realized I never posted updates. It looks like the last anyone here heard about my academic pursuits was still mostly about recovering from my traumatic experience with my original PI.
My PI that I am doing the MS with is excellent, a fantastic mentor. I'm really happy to have gotten to work with her. She was exactly who I needed coming out of that bad situation.
If all goes well, I should be defending my MS thesis early this summer. Afterwards I'm scheduled to attend a conference and present on the same project.
I have been accepted to a new PhD program starting Fall 2024, so I'll also be moving again this summer. The PI I will be working with there is great. I think this time I'll have both a good research fit and a good mentorship fit. We already planned my dissertation chpaters out during recruitment (this usually happens over the course of your first year of the program so big deal that we knocked it out before even being officially admitted) and discussed making trips to Southeast Asia to sample fishes!
My MS was a detour into American Poeciliids, but I will be back to catfishes and Southeast Asian freshwater fishes when I start PhD take 2. I'm super excited!!
The part that feels a little odd is that until this semester, I was still officially in the system here as a PhD student so I've been very aware that I was supposed to be a 3rd year PhD at this point. It feels so strange to be going back to 1st year PhD. Other people enter PhDs with a MS, but those are typically MS degrees started with the intent to get an MS. I know the ropes of being a PhD student already but will be masquerading as a fresh new student. Weird.
#i want to be transparent about having mastered out of a phd at the new institution#but i probably need to be careful about how i go about it and not overtly shit talk my original pi here#because my new pi considers him a friend#original pi is great to most people especially if they are men#so not surprising that the likeable dude i signed up to work for has friends who know him as that likable dude#rather than knowing him as the horrible person he was for me once i was his student#i dont think it reflects poorly on my great new pi#new pi is a much bigger name in my field too so im moving up in the world joining his lab#of course i would be a big deal either way i have always planned to be wildly successful#but it will probably be an easier road getting there with a mentor like him vs one who hasnt achieved that kind of success#ill have guidance on the path to success rather than having to forge a new path of my own you know?
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joy list? joy list ✨
i was tagged by @whatwouldmickeydo, @energievie, @gardenerian, @creepkinginc, @7x10mickey, @metalheadmickey, @mishervellous, @ardent-fox, @heymrspatel, @gallawitchxx, @y0itsbri, @whatthebodygraspsnot, & @sleepyfacetoughguy to share some little joys!
i won’t lie to you, friends in my phone, life has been less than joyful lately. but i’m trying my best to celebrate little victories and find happiness in the simple things. so here, in no particular order, is a list of things that make the days bearable 💛
✩ quesadillas, teriyaki, and tacos ✩ when there’s a dog in the drive thru at work ✩ sunflowers 🌻 ✩ when my monstera Maggie puts out a new leaf 🌿 ✩ literally everything First Aid Beauty has ever made ✩ when my cell phone battery is fully charged ✩ songs with really good bass lines that vibrate the entire car ✩ telling my best friends “good morning” every single day ☀️ ✩ my therapist, who would be disappointed in me if i didn’t at least try to make this list ✩ getting my silly $7 drink for free ✩ listening to the songs my friends put on their IG stories because it’s like a little window into their souls ✩ building playlists 🎶 ✩ people who are tactful, empathetic, inclusive, and kind ✩ valentine’s day flowers from my nanny kid 💐 ✩ tip day 💸 ✩ angst with a happy ending ✩ crystals 💎 ✩ laughing uncontrollably with my wife ✩ making other people happy ✩ new books ✩ you guys
i’m Quite late to this so i’m only tagging a few people: @iansfreckles, @greggster, @thisdivorce, @howlinchickhowl, @sunoficarus, & @crossmydna 💫 ily’all sm!
#to joy 🥂#tag games#i was going to Get Weird in the tags but i decided nobody needed to see that shit#but i will say this#if you haven't been feeling joyful#or if you struggled to make your own list#(like i did)#please know you are not alone#reminders for myself (and for you if they're helpful)#it is not fake or disingenuous to highlight joyful moments even when you aren't feeling joyful#it is not lying to omit the Bad Things#your joy and your struggle are BOTH valid (and often coexist)#you do not always have to be sunshine#you are allowed to be a storm#and most important of all: living quietly and moving in silence does not mean you can't express your struggles when they occur#sharing + asking for help + being transparent and vulnerable are not signs of weakness but rather of strength#if they weren't then they wouldn't be so hard#you are strong#you are important#you are loved#squeezing you all so tightly from afar
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by they way i hate when professors chose not to grade assignments. and i hate when they grade assignments late in the semester. how can i be expected to improve my grade if they're doing it all last minute or keeping my grade a secret until the end. how is this supposed to make me less stressed? as an art student how can i know if i did well if they didnt give feedback OR grades?
#i KNOW there would be people who.. would rather be graded on their performance at the end? and not worry during the year#but.#i have a friend who was approached by the prof one day that she had a c in the class#of course. no way of knowing. because he doesnt show us any grades#what if she wants an a? what if she only had a b? would he have told her then?#no. theres such lack of transparency and for no fucking reason#so he has the grades just doesnt make them available to us#thats not. fucking cool#i have one class that DID show grades on canvas#i thought i had a B. i had a d and c for most of the year and i was Nervous#no. she emails me saying i have a c. WHAT the fuck. why is the website with my grade wrong. what the fuck is this#can i be given. any fucking information. please#i have ONE assignment. the final essay. remaining to improve my grade. tell me how thats fucking fair.#i WANT to worry during the year. yknow. when there are still assignments i can use to improve my grade.#fucking backwards logic is this. jesus christ just grade me#weasel speaks
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proposition: "A Heart Full of Love" *but make it platonic* and it's Andreas and Magdalene and I think maybe Melancholia sings the Eponine bits (to be about Caspar probably?) or possibly a variation thereon
#also maybe “you must never go away" is about like ...Tassing generally rather than Magda I think#and “a heart full of you”#A chain we'll never break is about ~the Mural tho#shhh yeah no i realize that Andreas could/should remember her name/know from talking to Claus but#allow me this. maybe he's forgotten/doesn't remember in the moment due to brain gremlins or doesn't recognize her as an adult#does this fit exactly neatly into the plot line? no.#pentiment#(cry-laughing at the idea that flashed into my head of Caspar's head transparent and superimposed on scenes#like in eg the woman screaming while drifting meme#like. that's not actually how a fanvid should go but I feel like the visual would be somehow tragicomic)#...okay don't hate me for all this
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Are there blogs out there where you send them an image from like a show or smth and they cut out the character and transparent it for you?
Asking for me.
#Making moodboards in my style gets a lot harder when your F/O has absolutely zero Transparent images#I can do basic edits but my Transparents look choppy#And I'd just rather ask someone who's good at it for it I can wait#There's a VERY specific image of AFO I wanna use in a moodboard and it does not have a Transparent version#Sorry to do this but#Proship Selfship#Proselfship#Asking to the general audience isn't enough I am screaming into the main Proship Selfship tags fro help#Some one lemme know please
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