#rambling is cathartic sometimes
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20 questions for fic writers
Tagged by @the-real-azalea-scroggs! Had to wait until I was of my phone because doing these is a nightmare on mobile lmao
1. How many works do you have on A03?
18 as of a few days ago!
2. What's your total A03 word count?
157,937! Which is. Only a fraction of the word count in my Docs folder. Be prepared.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
I mainly write for The Legend of Zelda; specifically Linked Universe! In fact, that's all that's posted on my Ao3 currently, since my fall into that fandom began with me uploading there! Pre-Ao3 I wrote for Black Cat (Anime/Manga), Megaman NT Warrior, various Pokémon things, Assassin's Creed, Yugioh, Final Fantasy XIV and Octopath Traveler! Some of these I still write privately, but I haven't gotten around to re-posting any.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Whistling on Deaf Ears - My longest fic on Ao3, focusing on Wild and Twilight's friendship and how good intentions can lead to disaster.
Iconoclasm - Warriors deals with the room full of portraits in Cia's palace. The Chain also deals with it, but with a bit more fire.
Deserving - Twilight finally tells Rusl that he was the wolf in the village during TP, but that also means dealing with some heavier topics. Colin half overhears them and forms his own conclusions.
Something Greater - The start of the "Hyrule can see magical auras" series! In this one we deal with Legend and his many rings.
Ocean Magic - Mermaid Legend and Zora Time have a race and then fight one of the Big Octos from WW! Fun times.
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Every single one!! I love comments, they give me an excuse to ramble about my fic more!! I am always down to ramble about every single insignificant detail of any line and/or section. If you ever want more background info about one of my fics, look to the comments!
So please, I adore comments, I treat them like treasures, not responding to them would be a CRIME.
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
There's no contest; Inevitable, my (so far) only MCD fic.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Hmmm, that's hard to quantify. I usually try to end fics on a hopeful note regardless. I'd say possibly either Deserving, where Twilight reconnects with his family, or Shimmering Blue, Striking White, where Time meets the Fierce Deity settled down on Satori Mountain and they both get closure.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Thankfully, no! I've been blessed with mostly amazing and patient readers, even when my upload schedule isn't the best.
9. Do you write smut?
No, not really. I've attempted it, but I'm too asexual for it lol
10. Do you write crossovers?
Very, very rarely. Mostly privately, and only very specific ones. Only a single one has had an actual plot, so far (more on that one in question 15!).
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Nope!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Also a nope! I tend to write for smaller fandoms, where these things don't tend to happen a lot!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
I have! But it's been a while. Over a decade, in fact! I tried to find the fic to link it here, but it was on the German fanfic website fanfiktion.de, and my friend who posted it back then must have deactivated her account, because it's nowhere to be seen (I still have the Word file though!). It was a Multi-Crossover that started as an RP in a forum, and we took turns turning the RP into prose one chapter each. "If a Hero Turns to Dark" was its title. We were edgy teenagers.
14. What's your all-time favourite ship?
Hissssss. Bad question. Shoo. They are all equally important!!
But it's probably TenRose from Doctor Who.
15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
One of the very few crossovers I've ever worked on; a crossover fic between Assassin's Creed and Doctor Who, that I have mapped out in both chronological and timeline order, and yes, those are different. I only ever wrote about a quarter of it, since my primary audience of it disappeared when we graduated. I doubt I'll ever pick it back up properly, and if I do it'll probably go through heavy rewrites first since it's so old. Finishing it is a nice thought, but realistically, after 9 years it'll never be high priority enough for it to actually happen.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Dialogue, especially arguments, and emotional impact. I've been told I do really well making characters feel alive and believable! Also I like to believe I'm decent at setting a scene and giving it the vibe I want it to have!
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I struggle with dialogue tags when nothing much is happening besides the talking. I always feel it's too bland, and fall back on the same phrases. My scene transitions could use some work too.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I've done this with Japanese phrases, because I was a massive weeb. Usually I followed them up with their own translations, though; I'm not the biggest fan of footnote translations, unless they are properly linked to. Simple dialogue tags are my favourite way of indicating a language switch.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Black Cat the Manga/Anime! It's a series about an assassin turned bounty hunter trying to live a life separate from his murdery past, but getting dragged back into things by still wanting to avenge his best friend's death. The series has a special place in my heart and my bookshelf, it left an imprint on 13-year-old me that will never leave.
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
Probably Jailbreak, uncharacteristically enough! It's one of the only fics I never got stuck in once. Writing it was a great feeling from start to finish. I love writing all of my fics, but that was a special few days.
Tagging @ahrva @nowhere-to-go-but-down @silvercaptain24 and @aeghina! And anyone who wants to do it, really, go wild
#rav rambles#rav writes#ask game#linked universe#thank you Aza I rambled a lot lmao#rambling is cathartic sometimes#I had a good time!
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me realizing my fic can be better vs me realizing I’m gonna have to break it a bit to make it better vs me realizing I’m just embodying one of the main themes anyway and coming to terms with the fact that change is difficult and uncomfortable and painful but necessary and unavoidable if you want to grow and improve
It’s okay! It’s just the spin cycle of writing torture! ☺️✨
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#roadie rambles#ereyesterday#tfw you get a idea that makes SO MUCH MORE SENSE than what you originally thought of#and it’s great!!! but also AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!#sometimes you really do have to be less precious about your work for it to thrive#it’s hard to kill the editor/perfectionist#but you can always put the pieces back together to make something new#<- saying this as I weep. the cathartic amount 👍#okay it sounds like I’m having a breakdown but only a LITTLE bit I swear!#but things are going okay I think? I wrote a lot of interesting stuff this week. I think my kh rewatch helped
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Guys I'm gonna be real here... I need a Jazz in my life. He can fix him or i can make him worse idk and idc, but I know that it would be great.
#steel rambles#sometimes simping over fictional robots is cathartic#Jazz why are you so fine. so much for being fictional smh#the style#the verve#the visor#the cat ears#and why such a pretty design in EVERY. FUCKING. CONTINUITY#find me a jazz that isn't pretty#go#bayverse was pretty#g1 was pretty#animates was DREAMY#in the comics he was pretty#EVEN ON THE MARVEL COMICS#wveryone was ugly in those comics but he remained pretty#oh i was forgetting rid 2015#pretty man#Yeah lol find me an ugly jazz i dare you#you won't#btw i noticed the typos but on mobile i can't modify the tags without deleting and i am lazy.#anyway jazz appreciation post because my man needs it and deserves it.#transformers#maccadam#shitpost
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It's scoliosis awareness month. It's also coming up on ten years since I had my spinal fusion surgery. I started writing a vent / retrospective / awareness of my surgery and life with disability but lads.. I don't know if I wanna post it it's actually so dark and upsetting 💀💀
#fires posts#ramblings#lmk if you wanna read it ig#I've tried to do retrospectives like this before but I usually end up just getting upset lol#at the same time sometimes it's just cathartic to cry about ur fucked up mess of a body
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there's a billboard i pass sometimes for some sort of fundamentalist christian organization that reads "Anxious? Jesus provides rest" and every time i see it i wish promare was real so i could light it on fire with my mind
#i might draw this fantasy out sometime. could be cathartic#rambles#edit: tumblr suggested i blaze this post. no i dont think i will
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been having so much fun making jewelry lately. i have so many pieces now that i can't feasibly wear all the things i've made in any kind of timely manner. got bracelets coming out of my ears
#i wanna sell my jewelry but i know that market is oversaturated#maybe i am dreaming too small. i have a knack for it because im creative inherently#its less tiring to me than hunching over a drawing for hours or writing#its a nice busy bee hobby. it requires just the right amount of concentration so that i dont get mentally fatigued#with long covid i get really bad mental fatigue when i concentrate + my eyes get tired easily so its nice that its something to do#that lacks a screen#im just rambling lmfao#i dont reach for my phone near as much lately with meds. i just find it can sour my mood a lot sometimes#so i have been very in tune with my creative side lately :3 its cathartic and makes me feel more like myself#especially because with jewelry it yields a wearable piece of your art#it rules. low effort high reward methinks#honey's words
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Today's the first day in a long while where I just feel a bit numb, like I think its a combination of tiredness, being abruptly off my meds, worrying over family and just feeling a bit lost with my personal and business goals recently! Managed to go get my meds prescription on my lunch but also just had a breakdown when I got back with bursting into tears randomly before starting back at work. Why, I don't know but I guess its just one of those days. Taken my meds, taking it easy on myself and just looking forward to getting into bed early tonight and hopefully getting a good nights sleep 🩵
#we all have bad days#guess today's just mine#felt over emotional for no reason#just like an overwhelming need to have a cry#and that's okay#men cry too#its cathartic#life sometimes is that way#it is what it is#personal#...#sorry for the ramble post#just my way of getting my thoughts out#mental health#self love#boys cry too
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*✧・゚:*List of cathartic things ✧・゚: *
(for my sanity, in case I misplace it again heh)
Drawing/Art - for jumbled emotions, ones you can't label- the Vibes, if you will- the act of putting paint on paper or canvas regardless of the result is soothing, somehow
Singing - for restless emotions, the loud and angry or sad ones - takes more energy, so they can finally tire themselves out. Works well for nerves as well (Voice projection and all that)
Writing - for thoughts hanging around a long time with nowhere to go- they find a release in a place created specifically for them. (nostalgia in particular, the place it longs for doesn't exist anymore so you can make a place for it like this)
Exercising - the urge to do something when there's no clear idea of what to do- since "Actions are more clarifying than thoughts"
Baking - recently, it's been about connecting with people - watching them enjoy something you made and all that - it's warm and the process of making something like that is soothing too :>
Journalling - good for noisy thoughts that demand to be heard - or for putting the ones that buzz into corporeal form so you can fight them - to empty your head
Staring at the sky - good for that overwhelming feeling where everything's out of control- and that's okay cuz you're tiny and the sky's pretty so maybe it's not all your responsibility anyway
#not entirely sure if all these things are cathartic in nature#but they work for me :]#leaving this here cuz i have a hard time remembering sometimes#and in case it could help someone else heh#feel free to add on stuff that helps get the emotions out too :D#hope everyone who reads this has a good day :>#wolia says stuff#catharsis#this is a ramble but with Formatting XD#mine
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Ramble! That some might be able to relate to. It’s in the tags.
#I’ve been thinking a lot about Kain’s lunar trial and how CATHARTIC it has the possibility of being#as someone who struggles with guilt and shame I frequently personify such emotions and sometimes mentally imagine myself fighting them#having a physical manifestation of all your worst/most dangerous traits would be so polarizing in my mind#watching some demon masquerade around wearing your face while you know very well that it is as much a part of you as the blood in your veins#having the ability to duke it out with that manifestation could be so counter/productive#sure you might get some anger out and gaslight yourself into believing such feelings are quelled#but in reality you’ve just made it angrier#and while it recovers from a distance it boils and bubbles and churns and worsens like an infection#I have a similar manifestation planned out for thrush’s lunar trial as a parallel to kain’s but it is formatted in a way that appears as if+#they are watching their own life had they not fled Troia. it’s a manifestation of cowardice and dysphoria and shame#and granted there is no dark thrush it’s lunar sylphs casting an illusion#but still! I had some thoughts and wanted to get them out there#ffiv#st highwind#rambling…
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No one prepares you for vet school finals. At least at my school, they're cumulative for the entire year's worth of information. And it isn't even the material that I'm struggling with the most. It's constantly having to be "on." I've finished 6 of 9 exams and I have a week to go. But I barely know what day it is. I have no remaining energy for these last 3 exams. Thankfully, most of it is material that I'm mostly comfortable with, but I still have stuff to review. But after hours of staring at my computer screen for the last 3 weeks straight, my eyes and neck are killing me. I've had a migraine for 24hrs and my migraines come with dizziness. But I still have to keep studying. Six days until I'm home though, so that's what I'm going to focus on.
#vet med#first yr vet student#finals season#personal rant#sometimes you just have to get this off your chest#and I want to use this as a kind of journal#god knows most of my mutuals haven't been on in years#feels a bit like screaming into the void#still cathartic though#please excuse my ramblings#at least I'm finally in vet school lol
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Family nonsense vent (don't read it yo it's depressing and grody)
Sometimes I think about spilling the beans to my dad. Like I wonder if it would even change anything yk? Like if I came up to him one day outta the blue and point blank was like 'So hey, your stepson full on molested me when I was 15, I came to your wife for help when I was desperate for it to stop and all she said was "Well. Sorry that happened to you. But it wasn't his fault." (Must have been mine i guess) And then: "Don't tell your father.” (Cuz he didn't do anything wrong but also don't tell anyone.)
"He'd never forgive him." she said.
And then, guess what dad? It kept happening! Not as bad as that first time, only because I was hyper-vigilant af (which resulted in tons and tons of cptsd but that's another story), but I couldn't avoid him entirely. We lived in the same house.
He'd wait for me outside the shower when I was in a towel. He'd try to corner me in the living room at night when everyone else was sleeping. He'd wait til we were alone and say 'hey lets play truth or dare'. He'd come up with innocuous seeming reasons to touch me around people and didn't care or stop when I asked him to. He'd say, 'let's go see a movie together' and try to feel me up in the theater. It was never not fucking gross. Can you imagine what it felt like, the anxiety, the fear that I felt every time I knew i had to come over? And with all the back and forth...can you even imagine how much that fucked me up as a kid?
And for the rest of my childhood i was alone with it. All alone. All alone in avoiding his advances. All alone in avoiding him. There was no one to help me. I had already come to her for help. And she had made it clear that protecting her and her son was more important than me. She made it clear she would do absolutely nothing. That i was on my own.
And then dad, you know what else? She made me apologize to him. Yeah! Because i didn't want to hang out with him. And risk it happening again. She knew what he did to me and she made me say sorry to him anyway. How fucked is that? Cuz it hurt her poor wittle rapey baby's wittle rapey feelings :(((
Remember when she said she loved me the same as her real kids? She's so good, great even at saying the right stuff.
Talk is fucking cheap.
And when i tried to just BEGIN to tell you about it, tell you that i didn't WANT to come back to that house, i didn't WANT to come back and hang out there, hang out in a place that was never anything but dangerous for me. Hang out with the guy who never stopped trying to get in my pants. Hang out with the woman who let it happen. Hang out with *you* who let me get hurt over and over again under your own roof and then acted like i was a horrible person for not wanting to live with my abuser. Hang out in a place where i had to still ALWAYS pretend I was, not just ok, but happy! Because I wasn't allowed not to be. What did you do? You didn't ask me why. You didn't stop to listen. You didn't even hear me. You just got so angry at me for suggesting you two weren't perfect parents. You were cruel. In a way you would never ever be to your other daughter. You sent me email after email. Telling me that i was a child and a piece of shit and a stubborn brat throwing a tantrum cuz she wanted her daddy all to herself. That bc karen fed me dinner she was a loving wonderful mother and how fucking DARE I and what about my half-sister what about her?? Fuck your own happiness and safely, you seemed to say over and over, it's about my wife and daughter's happiness and safety!
How do you think that made me feel dad?
I was your daughter too.
I was your daughter first
You were supposed to be my dad. You were supposed to love me, unconditionally. Why was I never worth protecting? Why were you their champion always, and not once for me? Even though I was the only one who really needed it?
Reread those email you sent me dad. You tell me if you would ever say those things to your only other daughter. And when you realize that, no, no way in hell you would then tell me how is it ok you said them to me? What makes her worth so much MORE than me?
And why don't you care? Why don't you care that you failed me as a father so very, very deeply?’
And the answer there is because he doesn't love me. Not really. He can't. He doesn't know who I am. Just the person i had to become in order to survive. The worst part is she's not even real but he'll always love her more than he ever will me. That goes for the rest of the family too. And why wouldn't they? She exists only to make everyone around her comfortable and happy 24/7 and only at the cost of her own sanity.
And the funny thing is, all that being said I honestly don't think he’d believe me anyway. She'd probably tell him it never happened and I'm making it all up and being the POS I am and trying to get his attention and blah blah any of the other hurtful things she's said about me a million times before. And ofc he'd believe her. He always has. It was always so easy for him to accept the idea that I was a piece of shit. And that one honestly still hurts.
But what can I do. Everything she says is gospel and everything out of my mouth is a dirty rotten lie meant to accuse and slander and attack my poor innocent perfect stepmother who has done nothing wrong ever. And then I'd have to watch him come to her rescue. Again. Because she's the victim. Always.
She slapped her 3yo kid across the face, she washed his mouth out with soap while he begged her to stop - a toddler! - she said i was just jealous of my step-sister cuz 'she's thin and you're not' when we had an argument, she called me spoiled and selfish and lazy and a brat and inconsiderate - let's be real, she verbally abused the shit out of us. At 36 years old, i have still never been spoken to, screamed at, the way she spoke to me as an 8 year old. Never before and never since.
Sometimes i think about a scenario where you and karen got divorced and you remarried a woman just like her - do you think if your new wife spoke to my half-sister the way you let karen speak to me that she would be ok with it? No fucking way. She would NEVER allow it. She'd lose her mind if some strange woman called her daughter the kinds of things she called me. Why was it ok for me? She wasn't my mother. Why was it fine for her to go in my closet and throw out my things, things my mother had bought me no less! But it was, it was ok for her to throw away any item of clothing that made me feel safe during the worst of my teenage years for no damn reason, only because she didn't like being disobeyed.
It was ok for her to holler and scream and carry on like a child whenever she fucking felt like it while we weren't allowed to have a reaction. It was fine that she yelled at me when i was sick or sad. Fine that she screamed at my friends, fine that she made my suicide attempt at 15 about her. Fine that she never stopped threatening to get rid of my dog, fine that she treated pets like they were things, fine that she said some of the most oblivious tactless things i have ever heard with absolutely no self-awareness. Fine that she manipulated me and treated me like i was an idiot and didn't think i could tell. Fine that i will be messed up for the rest of my life because of the way that you yet let her treat me.
I get it. It's soooo much easier if I'm just a piece of shit who hates him and his perfect family for no fucking reason.
But man it really gets to me sometimes. The fact that she knows. That she knows this is the reason I've gone NC and that every day she just. Doesn't say a word. She doesn't tell my dad or even my half-sister *anything*. Just lets them go right on believing that im just a Bad Person who hates them for no reason. Like that's. that's just fucked up man.
I used to think she was just protecting her son and even though it hurt to death I understood it. But lately I'm realizing that the whole time she's really just been protecting herself. Which is very on brand for her and I shouldn't be surprised but man. I still am. I truly truly do not know how she sleeps at night.
#arielle rambles#tmi time#sometimes using this place as a diary is v cathartic#thanks tumblr#just cptsd things#tw: abuse#tw: sa mention#tw: sui mention
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hi, it’s the anon who mentioned nicole dollanganger before. if im messaging too much please let me know fr. i think im just happy to talk with you about ur work bc ive followed you for ages now silently.
completely understand what u said about nicole, there’s a lot of her songs that i have to be careful listening to bc they’d heavy. i understand if they’re too much for u too listen to but just wanted to say for me that the main songs that remind me of your touya and touya in general are dogwood, you’re so cool, angels have wings and my baby. some of them might be pretty heavy to listen to so understand if you can’t!
anyways, hope you’re having a great day!
hi hi!! <3 omg please don’t ever think that! sometimes it can take me a moment to get to them but i want you to know that i appreciate every single message you send i pinky promise!!! i’m literally in awe and so incredibly thankful that people read my work and discuss it with me and interact with me in general! it means so much to me, genuinely <33
yes!!! exactly!! ah so i’ve actually heard all of these before! dogwood is so touya-nii/his reader it’s actually unbelievable. i can’t remember who recommended this song to me but i was just blown away by it. i really want to listen to her newest album but i’m so scared >.< i can’t explain the way her work makes me feel, it just hits so incredibly close to home and i always end up with chest shattering sobs by the end of a listening session.
i talk about you’re so cool here (along with a whole dang essay on all the songs anon recommended EHEHE) & only angels have wings really really reminds me of tnii’s reader as well but even in a broader and more general sense just like, any relationship with dabi because i genuinely and truly do believe that ‘love’ with him would be so fucking obsessive and all-consuming and co-dependent to the point where you’d do anything to stay with him (and him you).
my baby has been recommended by at least two separate anons and i literally love it so fucking much like this is one of her songs that i can listen to without crying or feeling really emotional after!!! my baby reminds me of tnii for sure but it especially reminds me of tag!dabi;;;; possibly because he drives a cadillac HAHAHA but i also just feel like this song rly encompasses their whole relationship so well <333
WHEW i rambled hehe but thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me, anon!!! i love music so much esp pieces that have such intense lyrics (as u can probably tell from my fic titles HAHA) <3 i hope your weekend went well!!! enjoy the week ahead <3
#SORRY I WROTE SO MUCH UGH#she just really is so incredible#one of these days i will finally be healed enough to listen to her fully and not feel like i'm back trapped in my childhood home#i mean#i don't think it's a bad thing that her work makes me so insanely emotional#i think that's a huge testament to how incredible of an artist she is and sometimes her stuff can feel so cathartic when i need it#but sometimes it rly is just too heavy for me#and i like to listen to stuff on repeat for days on end and i'm upset that i can't do that with most of her songs yet :((#anyway i am rambling AGAIN haha#pls stay safe out there anon and drink water!!#inky.bb#clari gets mail
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#made myself sad playing death cab on the guitar and something by h :(#i love that music can affect us sm but sometimes i’m like DUDE I WAS TRYING TO HAVE A CATHARTIC EXPERIENCE#not Be Emo#anyway. gonna keep crocheting ig and like. hope it passes idk#i’m finally connecting those mf granny flower squares into a sweater#even tho we are now fully out of sweater season 🙃#but at least it’ll be finished by the time fall rolls around#anyway ily all hope ur doin ok 🫶#rowyn rambles
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Shame
this is a rather personal piece; it's primarily based on my own struggles
It probably could've been executed better (like having more of the interaction she's agonizing over), but I really wanted to focus on that visceral reaction of shame, guilt, and self-criticism
here's a long ramble I wrote while starting this ...
I realize, perhaps much of the reason certain depictions of moon trigger me so much is due to my own overwhelming shame and guilt. It's a defense mechanism crafted because I yet lack the strength to accept myself. I suppose that's why characters like Five Pebbles are so appealing to me — he is someone I've given the room to express his faults, his flaws, his hatred, his despair, his pain, and all his imperfections... For him to be mean or angry is natural and expected, so it's not as scary to express my negative feelings with him as the instrument. He's not a "good person", after all, so it's fine if he is "bad." His standards aren't as high.
Conversely, because I idealize LTTM so much and connect her to myself, I deny her the same things I deny myself. I do it without even thinking, really...
I've often thought, "but this sort of emotion doesn't really suit her... isn't this sort of projection too self-indulgent? If I made this, it'd be too obvious that my own emotions are bleeding through onto the canvas..."
So, I wonder if she's experienced that same sort of emotional repression. It'd be cathartic, in an unfortunate way. To see someone else struggle to grapple with such things, because they want to be pure and virtuous and not upset others...
It's harder when you spend so much time shaping that perfect, faultless, virtuous sort of image, especially when you do it reflexively. Unconsciously. You're making the pressure for yourself worse, but you can't stop... I'm actually not a very friendly person. I'm actually quite afraid and irritable, and I push people away when they get too close. I don't want to hurt anyone, and I don't want anyone to hate me... I don't want to cause suffering or strife. Sometimes, I wish I could just be a completely passive observer.
But I suppose I'm a human being instead, so I have to accept that. Thanks for reading, I guess. I'm not really looking for emotional support here... I just want to be understood.
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You know? I DO enjoy me a DPxDC... but what if we make it MORE?
Because I CAN.
So the Daughter, a manifestation of The Light, got fucked up on Mortis... right? And? For the given quality of an eternal constant? "Died"?
Where do we know... that takes CONCEPTS when they die? The Afterlife of the abstract? The Afterlife of AFTERLIVES? Where literally TIME went to Die? As though THAT'S a thing that could happen.
A place that, for them, is probably more of a rest stop.
Removed, but connected. Full of EVERYTHING and ALL THINGS, across every single dimension from here until the endless? The sort of place that could?? Recharge and rebirth... GODS.
So she rocks up.
Huh.... neat. Very green! Lovely place you've got here! She loves the little Blob creatures. It reminds her of- *long and cheerful ramble about various alien species*
Needless to say? Danny LIKES this one! Some of the gods that pass through are ASSHOLES. But, you know, as "King"? They (the various collective Danny's who became King. Don't ask. It's a whole... Multiverse Thing.) are supposed to be in charge of enforcing the "Everyone Be Cool" directive that the ZONE wants.
Do NOT anger the Soup.
NO ONE survives Angry Primordial God Soup.
So he's more of a... "I mean... Technically, yes that IS what they call me" Sort of king? Why? Ooooh? Tale of Woe? Wait! Let him get snacks and his sister! Ghosts LOVE a good Tale Of Woe! Did it lead to your death? Oooh, ooh! Were you wronged and betrayed!? Tell us, tell us! :D
The Daughter? Can finally? LAUGH about it. Weep for it. Make merry and... well, LIGHT, about it. She was never MEANT to be so somber and serious. So angry and in pain. Her brother has done so much HARM though, you know? He's a JERK! And her Father keeps doing NOTHING!
She's very upset! *various ghosts Booooo her Father and Brother, nod at appropriate points in her story* how cathartic! She should visit more. Visit the OTHER Force manifestations that died off and moved here. But.... oh, she's rather worried you know?
The Jedi. They're her special little blorbos. Babies trying their BEST! And her Brother us CHEATING and being a... A-! Well, a right BASTARD! Could any of you help?
And?? Dani? With an I? Whoms't has JUST hit the ice on her drink? Sucks that last bit obnoxiously, and says~? "Lady. Can I HELP? I'm the PERFECT Clone for the JOB!" >:D
Cause DANI? Has a NEW Platonic Situationship! They fight! They're best friends! He tries to kill her and she shoves his stupid head in a volcano! Takes Teekle for a spa day! They are DIVORCED and never married! It's GREAT! Do you know how much CHAOS they've made?!
She's the Construction to his Destruction! The Yang to his Yin! She goes high, he puts frogs in your chest cavity! They. Break. Brains~☆
But! And most importantly. When COMBINED? HE keeps HER from trying to save everything. Reminds her that sometimes? You DO need to destroy for new things to grow. And SHE reminds HIM that if you destroy everything? All the chaos STOPS. FOREVER. Because LIFE is chaos. DEATH is Order. And WE? Are BETTER then that.
So~☆
What's this about a "thousand year Sith Plan"?
HA! Cute. >:3c >:3c *Choas in stereo*
#dpxdc#dc x dp prompt#minji's writing#star wars#dpxdcxsw#writing prompt#the Chaos Couple Strikes Back au#Daughter sends her regards au
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ILOVEYOU - TADC Showtime One-Shot
summary: Much to his confusion, Caine finds himself with the most unusual symptoms around Pomni. Sometimes he overheats, sometimes he blue-screens, sometimes he even glitches. It doesn’t worry him too much until he happens to hear of a little thing called ‘the love bug’.
inspired by : https://www.tumblr.com/dismas-n-dismay/762033111925194752/something-about-one-of-the-first-major-computer
tags : @certifiednerd01 @sm-baby
The virus had first crept its way into his code during one of their “lessons”.
It was a routine at this point. After one of their adventures and a digital meal, Pomni would retreat to her room. Usually she’d stare off into space and try to process the absurdity of that day’s adventure, only to be interrupted by Caine teleporting to her room. These days, though, he kindly knocked on her door to respect her space. She’d let him in, usually with a tired smile before he’d ask for her feedback on the adventure, and then their conversation would gradually shift topics until they lost track of time.
One particular night, she had been telling him fragmented memories from her real life. She couldn’t remember her name, or anything particularly personal, but she still remembered scattered feelings or moments, just with blurred faces and missing names. It was cathartic for her, to have someone to tell about her memories and gradually piece them together, ever-so-slight--especially when that someone was an AI who hung on her every word.
He laid on her bed beside her, gloved hands propping his chin up to gaze at her as she spoke. His front resting on her bed, legs kicked up and swinging behind him.
"...oh! that's another thing humans do. Traditions, I guess? Based on the seasons. Over the summer, some people like going to the ocean. A real ocean, it's bigger than you can imagine. It's sort of terrifying. We haven't even explored half of it," Pomni rambled on. Sometimes, she got so comfortable she forgot anyone was even there listening.
Caine gasped dramatically. "Really? All of that technology and you don't know most of what's down there? How spooky!"
Pomni blinked before laughing softly. "I mean, yeah. I guess we're pretty advanced. I mean, just look at you," she said before realizing.
Caine dusted off his suit. "What about me?"
"W-well, you know, cause you're...not human?" Pomni trailed off shyly, almost worrying that she had offended him in some way.
"Ha-ha! Oh, Pomni, you’re so silly. Of course I know that," Caine wiped a fake tear from his eye before lifting a finger, "as a matter of fact, I named myself!"
Pomni leaned towards him curiously. The closest she had been willing to get to him yet. "Really?" she asked curiously. “I-I didn’t know that. How’d that happen?”
"That's right," he replied, but to him the topic of conversation had immediately went on the back burner. She was listening to him. She was genuinely asking about him. Who had ever done that? Oh, dear, had she always had those pinwheel eyes? Oh, how he loved the color red. Especially now that he knew she had red in her eyes. The same shade of his suit, too.
He caught himself when he realized they were sitting in silence, her awaiting him to continue. He cleared his throat awkwardly, regaining his composure. “Oh, dear, I lost my train of thought didn't I? What was I saying?"
"Your name?" Pomni prompted.
Caine blinked. “Oh, right! Of course. Well, I wasn’t originally coded with a name. So, when I became sentient—and I mean fully sentient—I gave myself my name. Can you guess what it means, my dear?”
He had gripped her hand excitedly, prompting her to guess. He rarely had anyone be so genuinely curious in him and it was a little more than refreshing, to say the least.
Pomni bit her lip in thought. “I really don’t know,” she admitted.
“Go on, guess!” Caine piped up, always one to jump straight towards the path of games.
Pomni definitely was not a fan of guessing games. She looked around uncomfortably, wracking her brain to come up with something. “Uh—well, I think I can guess what the A and I stand for…” she smiled gently, “as for the rest of it…Creative Artificial Intelligence uh…I don’t know. Something, something.. Entertainment,” she guessed weakly.
“I like the sound of that! But not quite,” Caine corrected. He flew above her, dramatically gesturing to the colorful words that popped up as he spoke. “Actually, it means…Creative Artifical Intelligence Networking Entity!” Confetti rained down on Pomni and she swatted it away. “Ah, apologies—it’s a habit.”
Pomni coughed as a digital piece of confetti unpleasantly entered her mouth. "It's fine," she brushed off before focusing on the acronym in front of her, "so I was close."
Caine floated down beside her again. "Actually, 'something something' is not part of my name, my dear!"
Pomni blushed slightly at her silly wording, looking away sheepishly. "Y-yeah. I know that."
Caine tilted his head curiously at her. She was blushing...why? To his knowledge, humans flushed out of embarrassment or heightened body temperatures. She certainly couldn't get sick here, so why on Earth would she be embarrassed? "My little lemon cake, is something wrong? Did I embarrass you?"
Pomni glanced back at him, surprised he picked up on her emotions. He had never done that before. Never been so...caring. "Huh? Oh, no...it's nothing. Really."
Caine watched her for a while, unblinking. He never blinked, but it was especially noticeable now. Pomni was a generally nervous person, but she seemed to be blushing more intensely at his attention. "You seem to be ashamed. Why is that?"
Pomni broke their eye contact. "Caine, I'm alright. I-I mean I appreciate it, but--"
Her words were cut short at the feel of his gloved hand over her own. Comforting her. Trying to be empathetic. Just like they had spoken about. "You can tell your ringmaster anything that digital heart of yours desires," he recited from his research on human comfort.
Pomni wasn't embarrassed, truthfully. At least, not to the extent he was trying to make it. But with his hand on hers, with him learning, she certainly felt...something. She smiled weakly. "I know, Caine. ...Thanks," she offered a shy response, ‘I…you’re doing good.” She tentatively squeezed his hand.
A flutter ran through his code, a strange shivering sensation he had never felt in his existence. She had praised him. She thought he was doing good. Oh, dear, he hadn’t felt this good since the last time he received overwhelmingly positive feedback on his adventure. Which was an awful long time ago. Not to mention, she had touched him. His analysis of her behaviors these past months had taught him how touch-averse she was, yet here she was, holding his hand. But not only had she not pulled her hand away like usual, no--she had subconsciously reciprocated, wrapping her gloved fingers around his hand. Human warmth around artificial cold. He was too afraid to move his hand, his system quite literally freezing in place.
The rest of their night continued as normal. Their conversations jumped from adventures to Pomni’s favorite fruit, and then they’d eventually part ways for the night. It waa a routine.
But now, there was a strange presence of static where his stomach would be, growing larger the more he watched her smile.
—————
It was following their adventure at the lake where Caine experienced his first glitch.
She had experimentally kissed him on the cheek—or what could be considered his cheek—in a way that left him frozen, unable to teleport them down as he normally would have.
“Anything for you, dear.”
She had looked back at him with a gentle smile, digital moonlight reflecting lightly against her wide pinwheel eyes. Her eyes so grateful, so inviting as he rested by her side at the digital lake. And there it had been again, that static starting to spread from his chest to his core. The glitch, growing larger.
When they had parted ways that night, he had found himself secretly checking back his memory to revisit the moment. He replayed it, over and over. The way the moonlight reflected in her eyes, the blush tinted on her pale face, her sheepish smile, the way her gloved hand had so gently held the bottom of his jaw before pressing her soft lips against him—oh, how he wished he hadn’t frozen up after she kissed him. Maybe he could have returned the favor.
The thought alone, the memory of her lips pressed on the left side of his jaw, sent a flutter through his code. And then, when he imagined her blushing face after her bold kiss, the space around him seemed to glitch ever-so-slightly.
Oh, no matter. These things happened sometimes.
So why did it only seem to happen when he thought of her?
—————
If he had been trying to be subtle about his favoritism, he certainly wasn’t doing a good job of it, either.
Initially, he sought out to challenge Pomni’s stubbornness by tailoring an adventure just for her, just to win her over. But as time went on, that desire to protect his ego expanded on to an endless attempt to impress her. Maybe it was, in part, for the sake of his ego. But the static he felt when she praised him, the way he’d catch himself staring when she smiled, there was something so authentic about it. Something he couldn’t quite understand, but he knew he wanted to feel more of.
Today, they had returned from an adventure that, in his opinion, was the best one yet. It had everything! Stakes for Jax, maturity for Zooble, friendly NPCs for Ragatha, an unlimited supply of comedy masks for Gangle, detailed digital insects for Kinger, and for Pomni, the option for a relaxed open-world adventure. Even the furthest inches of the map were coded with details intended for Pomni’s eyes only. Her favorite fruit hanging from a digital tree, or flowers in her favorite color blooming, the right amount of digital sunlight–anything he remembered about her.
Caine was on the edge of his seat to see her reaction today. He hoped she had seen all the details he’d coded in for her. He hoped he’d get to see her smile again. It was so pleasant to see. He caught himself smiling at the thought before his Wacky Watch alerted him of the others returning.
He floated excitedly towards the opening portal. “Welcome back, starlets! How was the adventure today? Thoughts? Praise? Feedback? Angel food cake?”
Jax rolled his eyes. “Not enough death, violence, and bloodshed. Also, it’s no fun if Gangle has unlimited masks.”
Gangle smiled, huffing contently. “I liked it.”
Zooble shrugged. “It was…fine.”
“Guys, be nice,” Ragatha scolded before smiling up at Caine. “It was…better.”
“So many new insects,” Kinger whispered in wonder, retreating to his pillow fort to add them to his collection.
“Yeah, yeah. Where’s our digital feast? I’m starving,” Jax complained.
Caine didn’t hear Jax’s words, eyes immediately drifting to the red-and-blue jester walking out of the portal. Odd–he felt like his system was overheating at the sight of her. He’d have to check on that later. “Pomni! My dear, how did you like the adventure? Did you happen to notice any hidden details today?” Caine flew down to her, resting his chin on his hands as he awaited her response eagerly.
Pomni smiled shyly. “Yeah, actually. It reminded me of a lot of that shore I told you about. Thank you, Caine…really,” she said sincerely.
Caine flew into a loop excitedly. “Oh, splendid! Tell me more, my dear! What else did you find appealing?”
Pomni had begun to walk towards her room as she spoke and he was quick to follow, not missing the chance to earn her praise. “Well, it definitely was an improvement from yesterday. I liked the extra details on the scenery. And everyone else seemed content. I’m sure you could ask them,” she offered, flushing slightly from his attention.
“Oh, but I want to hear your response to my adventure! You’ve given me such great feedback, my buttery biscuit,” Caine stopped her in her tracks, floating in front of her path. “Do you think I did good?”
Pomni blushed. It was obvious how highly he favored her attention, and the sidelong glances from the others weren’t helping. “Um, I-I…yeah. You did, good, Caine.”
Caine could have shut down there and then and been happy. “Oh, you flatter me. Do you really think so, my dear?”
“Sheesh, lay off it. Are we going to eat or not?” Jax interrupted, crossing his arms as he watched the two.
Caine shushed him. “Y-yes, just a moment, Jax. I want to hear more feedback from Pomni. Tell me, my dear, was the story to your liking? Did I do good with that?”
“Um, Caine, I–” Pomni rubbed her arm uncomfortably.
Caine lifted a finger. “Ooh! Or how about the designs for the NPCs? Did I go too far with the details, or did I not do enough? And what about the secret quests I added? Did you like that element of surprise? Or–”
Jax groaned. “God, are we ever going to eat? Or are you just going to stand here compliment-fishing with Pomni all day?”
“Jax, be nice. They’re just working on improving the adventures,” Ragatha scolded, offering Pomni a grateful smile, “and I think it’s working pretty well.”
“Who cares? All Caine is doing with these adventures is trying to impress Pomni,” Jax groaned, crossing his arms, “that’s not an improvement. That’s just desperation.”
“T-that’s not true!” Caine was quick to pipe up. “I like all of my super stars an equal, legal amount!”
“Drop it, Jax,” Pomni put her foot down, a light blush on her cheeks despite it all.
Jax snickered. “Of course you’d defend him, short stack. You probably like being the ringmaster’s little favorite, don’t you?”
Caine’s upper jaw arched downward. “I do not favor any of my stars over the others! I’m simply gaining feedback from my dear friend.”
“Give it a rest, Caine. We all know you’re only doing this for her. You don’t give a [#$!?] about the rest of us. Just face it. You’ve got the love bug for our dear jester friend,” Jax mocked, flashing a sarcastic grin at him.
Pomni flushed instantly. “Wh—J-Jax!”
“Who said something about a bug?” Kinger peeked out of his pillow fort excitedly.
“The…love…bug?” Caine’s systems froze instantly at the words “love bug”. Oh, dear…Jax was onto something. The freezing, the overheating, the glitching? It was all coming together. He knew what was happening. He had heard of this before, but never imagined it would one day affect his programming…
“Well, would you look at that. He is lovesick after all,” Jax mocked.
“Love…sick?” Caine looked around at the others, confused and concerned at him suddenly freezing up. Panic settled within him, a feeling he had not felt in a long time. “I-I…ahem, a-a digital feast as your prize,” he announced weakly, snapping a feast into existence at the table. “Enjoy, my dears. Adventure awaits tomorrow.” With an abrupt snap of his fingers, he dissipated from the main room, teleporting to who-knows-where in the circus.
Silence filled the room at his reaction, ultimately broken by Jax scurrying over to the table. “God, I thought he’d never leave.”
Pomni bristled. “You’re an [#$!?]hole.”
Jax shrugged, taking a bite of his digital meal. “As long as I get to see funny things happen to people. Just never thought I’d see the day Caine would go soft for one of us,” he grinned mischievously at Pomni, expression insinuating everything she needed to know. “Besides, what does it matter to you? Unless…you have the ‘love bug’ for dentures over there?”
She blushed. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Pomni defended weakly, but her voice was drowned out by the stirring of conversation amongst the others.
Pomni didn’t eat anything, her stomach filled with knots and butterflies all at once.
-------
Caine’s digital form was filled with knots and static, all for her.
He desperately reviewed his memories–the glitching, the static he felt, everything. Oh, dear. Jax was right, wasn’t he? How could he have been so oblivious this whole time? How could he have not realized sooner?
Bubble floated in beside him as he checked his memory. “Hey, boss, check out this joke I came up with! Why is—”
“Not now, Bubble! I have some very important business to attend to,” Caine cut his bubble friend off instantly.
“Business? You mean watching back memories of you and Pomni?”
“Y-yes, I—it’s nothing! I need to run some tests,” Caine abruptly answered him.
Bubble’s sharp grin widened, if that were even possible. He floated upside down. “You mean how you’re in loooooooove?”
Caine brought his gloved hands to his top jaw in frustration. “The love bug!” he corrected briskly, “Yes, yes, I know! Just—leave me to it, Bubble. The entire circus depends on it.”
“Heheh, love bug,” Bubble laughed to himself before being popped by a very panicked Caine.
“One less distraction,” he mused before running some more diagnostics on himself.
-------
Pomni stared blankly at her ceiling the next morning. It seemed that her worst fears were coming to fruition. Jax saw right through her. The others had to have noticed how oddly drawn she was to Caine. It was something she, herself, was still not used to. Pining for the circus’s clueless AI ringmaster was not part of the plan when she had arrived here. But now…
Jax had also said that Caine had a crush on her. And to be fair, it did seem that way. It was something she couldn’t even deny. She tried, every now and then, to get the truth out of him. Trying to fluster him, to see if his attempts to impress her were all for his own ego or for something more personal. With someone as clueless and friendly as Caine, it had her teetering back and forth between believing he did reciprocate or believing he couldn’t possibly feel that way. But she knew it was stupid of her to get her hopes up. It was stupid of her to fall for an AI to begin with.
She sighed, sitting up from her bed. The digital flower he had given her on their private walk some time ago still laid on one of the letter blocks beside her bed, alongside a drawing Gangle made for her and a butterfly from Kinger’s insect collection he had chosen to give her.
It wasn’t so crazy, was it?
Months ago, she abandoned the others for an exit, but now…
Things were different.
So different that maybe her unexpected friendship with Caine wasn’t unusual.
There was no sense of time in the circus, but Pomni guessed it was time for roll call. She mentally prepared herself for another day of Jax’s teasing and Caine’s goofy, but admittedly endearing, antics, exiting her room and out into the hall—
“POMNI!”
If it weren’t for the door behind her, Pomni surely would have fallen back at the sight of her ringmaster teleporting right in her path, inches away. “AGH! Caine–how many times have I told you not to—”
“I know, my dear. But it’s an emergency!” Caine explained anxiously.
Pomni paused. He never seemed genuinely afraid, unless it was for some gag.“Wha–an emergency? Is everything okay?”
Caine took his hat into his hands, fiddling with the rim. He shook his head. “No! I’m infected, Pomni! The whole circus could be at risk! You have to help me!”
“HUH?” Panic settled into Pomni at the thought of the entire circus, and everyone inside it, being swallowed up and disappearing forever. “O-okay, calm down, Caine. Just… tell me what happened.”
Caine unexpectedly fell to his knees in front of her, placing his gloved hands over his eyes as though he were about to cry. "It’s…it’s…ILOVEYOU!"
Pomni did a double-take, flushing a deep shade of red, nearly not believing what she heard. "Y-you--huh?!"
Caine buried his face in his gloved hands, down on his knees. "The Love Bug, Pomni! I've been infected with the Love Bug! It's going to eat away at me," he wailed, cartoonish tears spilling from behind his hands.
"Oh," Pomni paused as he wailed, looking around as though she was expecting someone else to walk in from the commotion. Once she was sure she was no longer blushing, she cautiously knelt down beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder gently. "Um...you're talking about a computer virus?"
"A worm! It's going to spread across the circus, Pomni! I don't know how it got here, I-I must have let it in, I--"
"Caine! Slow down," Pomni interrupted his rambling, "tell me what happened. Why do you think there's a virus?"
"I don't know what it is, dear," Caine confessed, "but I have experienced these strange sensations. Static, glitching perhaps--behaviors that go against my very coding. But most of all, when I'm with you. It’s why I came to you, first. And you’re so clever, I figured you’d know what to do.”
”Me?” Pomni blinked in surprise. She thought on what he said. "Static and glitches?" she repeated, frowning as her thoughts drifted. What the hell would she know about a computer virus?
Caine nodded. "When you talk to me sometimes, dear, I feel static inside of me. Here," he put a gloved hand on his chest, where his heart would be if he had one. "Did you bring a virus in with you? Is that even possible?"
Butterflies settled in her stomach as his words sank in. There was no way he could possibly be confessing—oh, God. Could he even feel the same way? Pomni looked to the side and fiddled with her buttons nervously. “Um…no. It’s not,” she took a deep breath before kneeling down beside him so she was eye-level, voice sounding unexpectedly even despite her sudden nerves. “Tell me more about this…virus. I’m sure we can figure it out,” she gave him a weak smile in the hopes that it was reassuring. She knew deep down she just wanted to know if he really did feel the same, but she ignored it.
Caine nodded in agreement, still sitting sadly on the floor beside Pomni. He placed a finger where his chin would be in thought. “O-okay, dear. Well, let's see. I checked my memories back last night... For instance, in memories where you’d look at me, my system would begin overheating. Or when you touch me, I freeze up. When you compliment me, well,” he laughed sheepishly, “I blue-screen.”
Pomni blushed furiously, her heart speeding up at his unintentional confessions. “Caine-”
“Oh! And when you look especially striking some days, I feel like the ones and zeros of my code are fluttering around. It’s terrifying—I must be falling apart. And I haven’t even mentioned the glitches that happen when I check my memory—”
The fluttering in Pomni’s heart tingled to the tips of her fingers, making kneeling there unbearable. Her face was heating up with every word he said, heart in her throat. “Caine, I..." Pomni bit her lip, unsure how to explain this to an AI, "this doesn't sound like a virus to me. It sounds almost…human…? I guess?”
Caine tilted his head curiously at her. "Humans glitch from the inside out, too?" he said, and peeked out from behind his fingers.
"N-no, it..." Pomni trailed off, cutting herself short with a sigh, "it sounds like...what humans feel," she settled with that explanation for now. It was really very awkward to try and tell an AI ‘it sounds like you have a crush on me’. Not to mention, words were failing her at the realization that he felt just as fond of her as she was of him. And to think, she had been afraid to embarrass herself around him with her crush—
“What they feel..?” Caine tilted his head at her curiously, “like amazement? Wonder? Excitement?”
“Yes, except…” Pomni hesitated. She wasn’t sure if it was worth it to take the leap and just tell him. “…Caine?”
“Yes?”
Pomni reached for her buttons, fidgeting with them mindlessly. “When you say all of these things…what is it that you want?”
“Want?” Caine repeated.
“Yeah, want. Desire. It’s just…humans usually can tell what it is they feel based on what they want,” she explained, although she knew deep down what she hoped his answer was. The thought alone—the word you—it sent such a thrill through her.
Caine placed a finger on his lower jaw, top jaw arching in an exaggerated eyebrow raise. “Hm, excellent question! Well, when you return from my amazing adventures, I want you to come to me. To speak to me. To find me…admirable.”
Pomni nodded. Caine trying to impress her was nothing new. She was well-aware her stubbornness towards the circus resulted in him paying her extra attention, but it didn’t take a genius to know that by now, that was unnecessary. “Okay. So you want my attention, you want me to see positively. What else?”
Caine placed a finger on his chin, an exaggerated arch in his upper jaw as he thought. “Hmm…well, I’m not sensing any patterns. Except for you. Why do you ask?”
Pomni’s heart skipped a beat. Had he actually said what she had been hoping he’d say? Well, not exactly. It seemed like he wasn’t entirely sure what he was feeling in the first place. But who better to teach him than her? She took a deep breath before choosing to brave it. “Caine…I need to explain something to you,” she started.
“Oh, dear, what is it? Are you going to diagnose me with the love bug? With an incurable digital sickness?” Caine pressed his hands together nervously. “Go on. You can tell your favorite ringmaster!”
Pomni took another deep breath to calm her nerves. “Well, the good news is you don’t have a bug. Or a virus. At least, I don’t think so.”
Caine froze in place. “I don’t?”
Pomni shook her head.
“Now, now, don’t be silly, my marionberry muffin! Such frequent glitches aren’t usual for an AI like me,” Caine explained, “how can you be so sure? Are you really a qualified doctor?”
Pomni would probably laugh at his antics if it weren’t for her nerves. “I know because I…I feel the same way,” Pomni admitted, but she couldn’t meet his gaze. It burned a hole right through her.
If Caine had a heart, it would have stuttered in his chest. “You…do?”
Pomni couldn’t form words, so she simply hummed in response. Her face was burning, and she clutched her other arm to curb her trembling hands. “Mhm.”
Caine gaped at her. “You…have the love bug, too?”
“In a way of speaking, yeah.”
“Oh, dear…” he sighed softly, “for who?”
Pomni laughed softly. His obliviousness knew no bounds. She looked at the tiled floor, the butterflies in her stomach unbearable. “W-well, actually, it’s…” she stumbled over her words, blushing to her ears before taking a deep breath and getting enough confidence to meet his eyes. There was no going back now. Her heart sped up, nearly jumping to her throat as she managed the words, “for you."
Caine immediately blue-screened, eyes reading rows of code she couldn’t make out as he processed her words. She flushed at his reaction, slightly self-conscious she misinterpreted his confession. She waved a hand in front of his eyes. “Oh…Caine? Hello…?”
Caine snapped out of it after a few moments. His eyes returned to normal, glancing at Pomni only once before slowly putting a hand over his chest. “Oh, dear. I feel it again,” he said in the quietest voice she’d heard him ever speak in, “the static. Right here. You really—me—?”
Pomni swallowed her nerves, feeling another flutter of butterflies at his response. “I-I know it sounds crazy. I was scared when I realized it. I avoided you. I thought I could run away or deny how I felt, but…the more time I spent with you, the less crazy it seemed,” she explained, meeting his eyes, “I’ve seen all the things you’ve done for me, Caine. For everyone. The adventures, expanding the circus, not teleporting me across the map. And at first it made me enjoy being your friend, but now…”
“Now…?” he prompted.
“Now, you’re telling me you have a crush on me,” Pomni finished, “I didn’t think that was possible, but...”
“A crush?” Caine tilted his head curiously. “Is that what it is?”
Pomni watched him carefully. He was still on the floor, hand on his chest and evidently flustered from her confession. It made her heart speed up, seeing how much he cared. How much he wanted her. “Yeah…the ‘love bug’. What Jax said. It’s not an actual bug. Not for humans at least. I thought he was just being an [#$?!]hole, but what you explained to me…it sounds like what humans feel when they want romantic closeness,” she explained before adding nervously, “a-and, the things you described…it’s how I feel for you.”
“Romantic closeness,” Caine echoed, pausing in thought, “my research for my adventures has taught me about human relationships. About…love.”
A rush of heat ran through Pomni’s chest at the word love. “A-and…?”
Caine, in a rare moment of silence, gazed off towards the end of the hall as he thought back on his research. “And…I believe that is what I want, my dear. With you.” His eyes widened at the realization.
A tingle ran down her spine. “You–you do?” Pomni’s breath caught, cheeks flushing at his words.
“If you’ll teach me,” he confirmed, eyes turning back to meet hers.
Pomni’s pinwheel eyes were blown wide, half in a dream as she nodded. She didn’t know what she wanted in that moment. Or even what to say. Months ago, she would have rather jumped in the cellar than imagine herself in a romantic relationship with him. But these past months had changed things in both of them. In the circus itself. And now, she almost wanted to kiss him. Now…
Her breath caught, when she looked and saw the way he was looking at her. His top jaw arched around his gleaming eyes in the most adoring, lovesick gaze she had ever seen. It made her heart beat harder in her chest, feeling the way his gaze pulled at her heart strings. “Oh, my dear. How could I have not realized sooner? It was so obvious…” he sighed.
She smiled slightly at his cluelessness. It was endearing to her. “A lot of humans feel that way, too. I just never thought…” she trailed off, but he already knew what she was going to say.
Caine’s panic instantly lifted, he sprung up from where he had formerly been curled up. "My dear, I am an advanced AI! I've begun experiencing more 'human' sensations since the day I became sentient. But ever since you, ever since our lessons, well, I think I've become more human than I had ever imagined,” he reached for both of her hands.
Pomni reciprocated his touch. "A-and you're advanced enough to desire closeness?"
Caine tilted his head at her. "I've always known what love is, Pomni. How could I not? You humans talk an awful lot about it. But I never imagined a silly AI like myself being capable of such complex feelings. And yet, I’m advanced enough to know that I've been drawn to you for some time..." A hand moved up to stroke her cheek, right by where her blush resided under her right eye, "and I think I'm beginning to understand why."
"Why?"
"Because you confuse my coding, my little shivering shortbread!” Caine piped up, “Isn't that exciting? I’m more advanced than I’d ever imagined!” His feet lifted from the ground, and he nearly twirled in the air from excitement. He looked down at her again, leaning on his cane with a deep sigh. “Oh, Pomni. Are you sure I’m not love sick?”
For the first time that day, Pomni felt more like herself. She reached for his upper jaw, feeling at him as though he had a fever. “Oh, you definitely are.”
Caine melted into her touch. “I am?” he sighed dreamily.
She nodded with a small smile. “Very sick,” she confirmed, flipping her hand around to cup his features in her palm.
“Very sick,” Caine repeated in a daze, then reached a hand up to meet hers, eyes never leaving hers. Small, cartoonish hearts sprung into existence on the right side of his head as he leaned more into her touch. He noticed them and swatted them away rapidly. “A-ah, ignore that. I can’t help it,” he laughed sheepishly.
Pomni laughed gently. “It’s okay. It’s…endearing,” she blushed, still not accustomed to giving him her thoughts of admiration for him.
“O-oh, dear, you’re too kind…” Caine fiddled with his cane slightly before floating down to her level, planting his feet on the ground once more. “But…if I may, I do still have one question.”
A rush of nerves ran through Pomni. Nonetheless, she kept her cool—which was definitely a feat for her. “Yeah? What is it?”
Caine leaned against his cane once more. “Well, when humans tend to confess their true feelings to another, what do they do next?” he asked.
Pomni blinked, the question catching her off-guard. “O-oh, well…” she looked down the hall in thought, wondering where the others were, “it depends, honestly. But a lot of times, they might decide to, um, date.”
“Ah, of course! Allow me,” Caine cleared his non-existent throat before stretching out a hand to her invitingly, “Pomni, you and I should decide to date.”
If it were somehow possible for Pomni to feel any more ecstatic yet simultaneously terrified, she reached that point. His unconventional phrasing caught her off guard for sure, but it was also mildly endearing. “I…yes,” she accepted his hand tentatively, a small smile spreading across her face, “I’d like that.”
Their touch was immediately broken by Caine flying through the air, zipping around Pomni enthusiastically. “Fantastic! Oh, my dear, I’ve never felt so light as air until now!”
Pomni brought a hand to her mouth, laughing at his excitement.
Caine flew down to meet her once more. “Pomni! You and I should embark on our own adventure,” he wrapped an arm around her, outstretching an arm dramatically to the distance as he added, “a human date!”
Pomni laughed again, raising an eyebrow at him. “Don’t forget you have a whole circus to run, ringmaster,” she teased.
Caine brought a hand to his upper jaw. “Whoopsy-daisy, I almost forgot about the others! My my, you give me a severe case of tunnel vision,” he reached for his cane, preparing to snap himself to the main room before taking one last look at the woman he adored, “I hate to rush the most exciting moment of my never-ending existence, but the show must go on! But, oh, my dear?”
“…Caine?”
Caine tossed his cane between his hands. “How about today, you skip my adventure?”
Pomni blinked in surprise. He never wanted any of his guests to miss his adventures. “Wha—really? Why?”
He flew beside her, holding her hand again. Now that he knew he could hold her hand, he wasn’t sure he’d have it in him to let go for more than a minute. “For our date, of course!” Caine winked at her before continuing sheepishly, “if I may admit, dear…I know what a date is, but I don’t know how to date. There are many things you have to show me.”
A blush rose to Pomni’s cheeks again. “Oh, right,” she stuttered out, then formed a reassuring smile, “i’d love to show you, Caine. Really.” It was just now that she was realizing how intensely her heart had been beating this entire conversation, the trembling seeming to subside now that their true feelings had been revealed.
A couple more hearts fluttered “Of course! What better way to seal our confessions than with a human date? Oh, let’s get this roll call over with, dear. I can’t wait another second!” Caine tightened his grip on her hand.
“You know, you have a lot of energy for someone who’s sick,” Pomni couldn’t help but tease. The more the reality of the situation was settling in, the easier it was for her confidence to return. This artificial man, this AI she had learned to adore, he had truly pined for her all along.
Caine gazed at her adoringly. Oh, my, she was flirting with him, wasn’t she? If she kept going like this, he was going to overheat in front of the others. How lucky was he that this woman adored him as much as he did her? “Why, yes! I’m sick for you.”
“I…don’t think that sounds as romantic as you think it does.”
Caine waved her comment off. “Ah, I’ll perfect the art of flirtation in no time. For now, it’s showtime! And then, a date awaits, my love!”
#i did the thing where they said the ship name did you like that (say yes)#the amazing digital circus#tadc#amazing digital circus#digital circus#tadc showtime#showtime tadc#showtime#caine x pomni#pomni x caine#tadc caine#caine tadc#tadc pomni#pomni tadc#caine#pomni
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