#raine like GET IT TOGETHER. COME ON
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"Hunter doesn't even know half of it," the Inner Empress says, hugging her arms tighter around herself. She's rocking, a little, as though to keep herself calm. "He doesn't even know."
Raine keeps their voice very quiet, very gentle. "That Belos hurt you?"
"No, no, that doesn't matter, I don't care about any of that. He doesn't know about the others."
Raine's brows draw together. "The others?"
"The other guards. The Golden Guards before him. He doesn't know."
Darius stiffens so fast that the mindscape itself reacts. He's not making it easy to convince the inner self that they aren't here to hurt her. Raine suspects that he doesn't actually realize how intimidating he's being.
"What do you mean by that," he says flatly.
The trees shake. Dust dislodges. Luz shrinks away.
Raine touches her arm, still so gently.
"Whispers," Darius says, edging toward a snarl, "ask her what the fuck she means by that."
This inner self doesn't seem any better at expressing herself than her outward facade. Raine swallows. "It's okay, Luz," they say. "Hey, can you show us?"
#as usual idk if i can do a whole fic so. heres a snippet i started thinking about in the car#because it's making me fucking crazy. HELLO#toh#princess luz au#luz noceda#raine whispers#darius deamonne#my writing#darius who already had an ulterior motive re: ascertaining hunter's safety being like. i'm gonna kill belos again actually#raine like GET IT TOGETHER. COME ON
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i have been unmedicated for the entirety of spring break and thus have had little interest in writing this down, but i have been thinking about this for the entire week (as well as a dpdc clone danny au that resulted in it becoming its entirely separate batman au that includes a teenage vigilante bruce wayne, an ocarina, and me entirely incapable of making a batman au without making bruce dirt poor but we're not talking about that) and so i've finally went 'fuck it' and forcibly grabbed my laptop. I will get this done in one sitting even if it kills me.
BUT. This is about neither clone^2 danny nor about who i am calling Ocarina Batman. This is about my Danyal Al Ghul Au and more SPECIFICALLY it's me thinking about his relationship with Sam and Tucker specifically.
Tucker and Sam? Adore this asshole (affectionate) with every fiber of their being. And it is very much a reciprocated feeling, but Danny's thoughts will not be delved into much other than he would kill for them.
Tucker? The only person currently capable of getting a deep, loud, belly laugh out of Danny. Sam can get him to smile and to laugh, but it's the kind that's a chuckle-under-the-breath. The quiet, looks-down-while-huffing laughter. Snorts once with laughter and then grins stupidly.
But Tucker? Tucker can crack a slew of stupid jokes and Danny will be incapacitated for the next five minutes because he's laughing so hard that he can't breath. He lands one well-timed pun or quip and Danny will be close to tears. His laughter is their favorite sound in the whole world.
Sam is lowkey jealous of this ability, and she's gotten a belly laugh out of Danny a few times. But alas, it is Tucker who wields this power and has gotten it the most times out of the two of them.
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They're also both physically affectionate with Danny as much as possible. It started roughly around when they were 12-ish, a year since they befriended Danny, and they noticed that he sought after touch but never seemed to initiate (and was in some ways repulsed by it). They started slowly being more touchy with him. Hooking a finger around his to lead him somewhere, tapping his wrist, looping arms. Little touches, grabs, etc, to get him used to it, and once he started doing it back they started increasing it.
It's gotten to a point where he will now just. Lay on them. Like a lizard sunbathing on a rock. Leaning on their backs when they're sitting in class before the bell rings, his chin on their heads. He'll talk about anything with his arms looped around their shoulders.
If they're sitting on a couch at either of their houses, he'll lay his legs on theirs. Him and Tucker will press their feet against the other's and try and push against them (newsflash: Danny always wins, Tucker claims its the ghost strength but Danny's been winning since before his accident)
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Naturally, both Sam and Tucker know where Danny keeps his weapons on his person, and are allowed to grab them off of him if they need it. His only requirement is that they don't lose his weapons if they take it and forget to return it immediately.
They both understand how big of a thing this is from Danny, and so they do their best to treat his weapons with a lot of respect and care because they know its his way of saying he trusts them.
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Sam and Tucker are so fond of Danny it's insane. Like fr. That's their goddamn best friend, and they are so protective of him. Emotionally, physically, you name it. They will tear the head off a grown man if they need to, Danny's had scars since he arrived in Amity Park and Sam and Tucker both are going to find the person who put them there and make them pay for it.
One time, Tucker overheard a bunch of upperclass girls speaking nastily about Danny and about the rumors surrounding him, calling him names like 'freak', 'monster', etc. Danny was with him and heard it, and seemingly appeared unbothered by it, even telling Tucker that he was used to such rumors.
Tucker was so furious that hacked into the school system later that night and tanked those girls grades. They were kicked out of their clubs and had to go to mandatory tutoring for the rest of the year. He made sure to leave some way of letting them know it was him who did it.
And Sam doesn't like using her money for things, doesn't like abusing that wealth. So instead, whenever her parents talk bad about Danny, she causes a media incident that has her parents scrambling to deal with. She does something wild, outrageous by her parents' standards.
She heard some boys on the basketball team making fun of Danny once, similar to those girls had. She kicks up a fuss about something eco-unfriendly at school and forcibly holds a protest on the same day of the big home basketball game, forcing them to cancel the event and reschedule to a visiting school.
She anonymously donates money so that there's new uniforms for the team but oops! Looks like she "forgot" to donate enough money for them to get uniforms for all the team members, and strangely enough those boys in particular didn't get them! Looks like they'll have to wait until more money gets donated for the basketball team to get their new, nice uniforms. The old ones look so ratty in comparison, right?
And since the football team gets most of the sport money, that might just take awhile. And if (and when) they kick up a fuss? oops! Off the basketball team you go, :) such unsportsman-like behavior is unfit for the team.
(The only good thing about how corrupt the school system is is that she can use it to her advantage too.)
The both of them know that Danny suspects them for the sudden misfortune falling on these people, but he doesn't call them out on it. He's kinder than he used to be, but not kind enough to vouch for people who speak badly of him. Sometimes, he might just congratulate them on not getting caught.
Because Danny is their wonderful, hurt friend with a "slightly" Blue and Orange Moral code, and enough scars that people have been calling him a criminal (and worse) since he arrived in Amity Park when he was ten. And they'll be damned if he gets hurt anymore.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#danyal al ghul#its kinda hard to get my thoughts in order bc i am ✨unmedicated✨ rn BUT#this is the gist of it#i could wax poetic about how much sam and tucker adore danny as their friend but alas. the wax is not waxing. it is stuck to the paper#and i am chipping it off with my nail and its getting stuck under it.#ocarina batman has been in my head since friday someone come sedate me. him and pit fighter batman too. who is ALSO a piss poor teenage#bruce wayne who instead of a vigilante and villains is a PIT FIGHTER. he fights blindfolded thats why he's called the bat#ocarina batman's Look is if you combined punk + assassins creed aesthetic together and then gave it an ocarina#the ocarina is because i thought it'd be cool if its how he and robin communicated across long distances bc they didnt have comms#because they are ✨poor✨ and live in a one room apartment in crime alley.#and also the mental image of him sitting on. rooftop ledge in the rain playing 'song of storms' from LoZ was too fantastic to ignore#like bro imagine hearing that as a criminal. you're off doing shady shit with your gang and in the distance you hear the faint and#haunting melody of an ocarina. two of them in a call and response duet. and its getting closer. and you cannot find where#siren type shit fr fr#look he has the assassins creed hood and a long ass coat that has spikes on the end that when flared out looks like the silhouette of a bat#on fucking GOD i am this 👌 close to finding an artist doing commissions to make this for me. i am frothing at the mouth#he is 17-19 years old with his little brother-son Robin. Logically Robin is Dick but in my heart of hearts the first Robin is Jason#and he has perfected the art of getting his older brother to play songs on the pan flute for him. long pitchy whine on his own ocarina#the familiar childlike 'pleeeaaaaaaase?' and he knows he's won when there is a 10s silence on the other end before his brother plays#a lullaby.#look up 'sailor moon - pan flute (relaxing) on youtube' and when there's the thumbnail of two green skinned aliens with long blue and pink#hair. click on it. THAT is the song Bruce plays.#hhhhhhhhhhh frothing at the mouth over this au sooo fucking badly
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as part of the getting-worse-before-it-gets-better portion of aziraphale and crowley's season 3 relationship arc we NEED a desperate "i love you" from aziraphale met with a hissed, spiteful, and quickly regretted "i forgive you" from crowley
#good omens#ineffable divorce#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#i really want things to get as bad as they can possibly get before their relationship#is saved and actualized if you couldn't tell.#like yes i want them to make up and have a big fabulous kiss together sheltered under a canopy in the rain#and then spend the rest of their eternity together on earth in blissful love#but i also want them to be really unstable for a bit#spiteful crowley. aziraphale blurting out a confession no buildup no apology#because he thinks that'll fix everything.#more miscommunication to give more weight to their final climactic episode where they actually work things out.#crowley has to give him a lift and they start arguing and he blasts queen in the bentley#and takes them careening down oxford street at 120 miles per hour#grinning and laughing manically while aziraphale screams and hangs onto the baby basket he's holding#containing the second coming of jesus for dear life.#crowley just terrifying him to spite him.#i want them to do and say fucked up things to each other! do you get it?
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hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?
hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].
but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.
it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.
and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.
the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.
an emptiness, like you said.
but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.
you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.
he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.
but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.
how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.
the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.
think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.
i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.
but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.
as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛
#q&a.#birdsong.#wishing u gentle ease; the death of a loved one is near inexplicable to put into words and i hope you take care of yourself gently <3#i hope this will make u laugh: when i was a tiny child in middle school there were times i would go outside in my tiny suburban cul de sac-#in the rain and sing along to my lil ipod nano and i only remember doing this to drops of jupiter. can you imagine going out to get the mai#after a long day of work and you just hear this kid singing train in the streets. in the RAIN.... it makes me laugh like i really.#i really thought i was so cool and deep and emotional ghjkd but i find it v funny that i only remember it w/ that one train track.#and saturn just. it's my fav s.a.l. song for a reason. that slow violin opening? the piano coming in gentle and easy?#it feels like light. like hope. like something new - a dawn after the long dark. that beautiful things can begin again even where#it hurts. and there is nothing more human than a sentiment like that.#how rare and beautiful it is to truly exist. what it is to be alive and get to be here and live with other people. with those we love.#i think your grandfather was so lucky to be able to know you. to have you in his life for the time you had together.#i'm no spiritual person; but i like to believe when you're thinking about him? he's thinking about you too.#the second law of thermodynamics (physics nerd mode) is that no energy has ever been created/destroyed since the beginning of the universe.#so it has to go somewhere - it's that carl sagan quote of 'we're all made of stardust'. because we are. we used to be stars; planets; etc.#i think it's why i think of these space songs - because they're a part of everything; once more; when they go. us and everything else.
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winter hater kazui is like this to shidou do u gets
is he stupid or what
#and then shidou holds his hand and puts it in his pocket so they are both warm. no who am i kidding kazui is still dying#guy too used to having to 'suck it up' realizes he does not infact need to do that#i feel like after he meets shidou he starts masking less so it's more obvious when something is up#his act of a stereotypical man is falling apart#face it mukuhara kazui. you are a PUSSY (cat)!!!#nways what if he;s like this while it's raining too...#“oh wow it's raining here you can use my umbrella shidou-kun”#proceeds to not join him underneath for some reason and just walks with him in the rain getting drenched#“what are you doing???” “it's fine it's just a drizzle” “come underneath???” “it's fine haha” “why are you like this”#shidou's not any better he'd probably wear a sweater in the summer n wonder why he's sweating his ass off#sigh but winter is so perfect for them because they can both laze around together#someone needs to stop them right now#taking them out with a shotgun#milgram#kazui mukuhara#shidou kirisaki#0507#kazushidou#chibi's ramblings#lee postings
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Looks like that video is about a month & a half after The Trade and trevors broken ankle 😣
re: this video… anon 😭 i had suspicions but it is so much worse to have them confirmed that really was like. trevor’s first Public Appearance without jamie AND post-broken ankle which is traumatic in and of itself no wonder every beat reporter was like ‘oh yeah trevor’s just devastated’

wouldn’t you be miserable too if your best friend just got traded and your body betrayed you and what if it was maybe all your fault!!!
#bestie thank you so much for fact-checking me 🙏🙏🥰🥰 i love when y’all come in my inbox & answer the questions i yell into the void of my tag#we are Suffering about trevor TOGETHER in this house. if i scrolled all the way to the bottom of my drafts i think i could find even more#heartbreaking content from before The Trade but we don’t need to suffer that much otherwise the penguin cup of tea is really irish coffee#confirms ALL of my theories about miserable trevor leaning into mason for comfort because in some universes that’s THEIR boyfriend who left#liv in the replies#trevor zegras#mason mctavish#need to go lay on the floor about this one folks. do you think trevor said he would only do it if mason came if he could sit next to mason#right at the end where people were rushing out not stopping to talk tired by the end of the line and not even thinking just to guarantee he#wouldn’t get asked anything because he still has a hard time believing it’s real he keeps thinking jamie’ll be there especially w/his ankle#i’m sure he doesn’t have a great time with stairs so he probably will nap on the couch sometimes and that moment right when he first wakes#up to the bang of the door and he doesn’t quite know he’s awake yet and he thinks it’s jamie coming in? heartbreaker right there bud. sorry#ALSO because I can’t say it and leave it alone I almost put that last bit strictly in the tags but like. there’s gotta be some part of#trevor that knows it’s nothing to do with him but still naïvely believes that if he’d maybe been there if he hadn’t been injured things#could have worked out differently if he’d been there and it’s his fault his ankle broke and do you remember all the interviews jamie gave#about how you never think you’ll be traded and how strange it is to be moving and now i need you to take that naïveté times 1000 for trevor#who of course he never even pictures jamie leaving they were building the core together!!! why would they ever get rid of him!! and if only#trevor had been there to show how important jamie was. what would he have done? literally nothing but that does not stop the emotional guil#from enveloping trevor like a rain cloud and making him sit in mason’s apartment with ice cream bowl in hand. holistic treatment l
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been thinking about this since last night and just - i really dislike it when a competent female main character is levelled to incompetency to push the story forward. i hate it when she has to become a damsel in distress without so much as a good reason for it just so she could be saved by her love interest.
if she needs to be saved or aided by her male LI, there are so many other ways to do it that doesn't completely disregard the intelligence, the experience, and the skill the character has.
#if it isn't obvious I'm still not over rafayel's scorching rain tender moments#like you're telling me this woman can take down wanderers left and right and she gets tased by a civilian?? bc it was a sneak attack??#girl go back to training#at least give her a reaction to it and fail#rather than just “oh i was completely taken by surprise” and got dropped#just so her knight and shining armor can save her#sigh i know this is the nature of games like this#and i know that even the most competent of characters can have their moment if weaknesses#but to me it feels like she has to get saved by every fucking body every chance the they're in frame together#like come on an mc that saves the male lead in a nonchalant way and not in the “i took the hit for you and now I'm dying” sort of way#wouldn't that be nice every once in a while?#mmm I've been thinking about this so much i even had rafayel in my dreams lmfao#atoltia rambles
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unfortunately thinking about ffxiii selfships again
#i am trying to finally draw somethkng that i dont hate and since its the anniversary of xiii i started a dumb monaraines doodle#maybe ill finish it idk. i dont know what pose to do for row and caius though.#but anyways i was listening to the monaraines song (godless by banks) and got overwhelmed again#like. come on. okay. caius and rowan are tragic bc they are constantly following eachother through time (derogatory)#regardless of them having literally been married in their first iterations and then rowan switching sides from serah to caius#bc they get hit with the You Will Remember beam even still filled with conflicting rage#but like. mona and raines are so innocent. they are on the same side kinda but they have two diff approaches#and yet they are very sweet together and mona seems like a handful but raines kinda whips them into shape a bit#and then throw in the fact that mona and raines are being manipulates#and raines dies and comes back wrong (puppeted but capable of still thinking on his own and ultimately choosing to kill himself again)#and mona is like. right there with him even WHEN he comes back wrong and even though they want to beg for him to not do it#they also hate the idea of him being a shell of his former self and having been manipulated by the same force. its a big fuck you#(but also incredibly depressing because like this is not what he wanted. this isnt what anyone wanted. he thought he could escape.)#anyways. hi :3#val.txt#got too attached to a ff character who only shows up for like 14 minutes of screentime and a boss fight
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i made a silly little transformers x rain world crossover au :)
currently designing what primus looks like! they're an iterator and their rain world-ified name is thirteen blinding lights! the rest of the guiding hand + unicron are also iterators. the thirteen primes are purposed slugcats/overseer hybrids of some sort. as for Autobots and Decepticons? I was tempted to make one slugcats and the other scavengers, but I think I'll make both groups slugcats. perhaps Quintessons can be scavengers...
#~leon#chatter#rain world#rainworld#rain world au#rainworld au#transformers#transformers au#maccadam#maccadams#the guiding hand and unicron all have iterator names tho the thirteen primes have yet to get proper titles#also have yet to get a special ability (artifact)#we like both transformers and rain world so. mix them together and get something neat!#half-tempted to do something with unicron after his “death” thats basically just me following my kintypes#because i can do whatever i want forever#ive also have no name for this au so uh#rain world x transformers#ill tag with that for now until i come up with a better name#plural community#pluralgang#plural system#plurality#pluralpunk#alterhuman#otherkin community#otherkin#plural#voidpunk#terrorpunk
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i'm hurt 🥲
#it's been 8 years and i still dream of my best friend who i was in love with in high school#last night was way too much though#like i met him again and replayed all the memories we had.. like dancing around in the rain#and since it was raining i told him to dance with me again even though it felt different#i knew he didn't feel shit for me bc he rejected me back in hs too but when i started talking about another guy he did NOT like it#and he admitted it... questioned me about him and then we kissed ???#he told me to call him every now n then bc up until now it was always just him calling. like the jealousy was SO OBVIOUS#we kind of get together.. literally my 18 y/o's dream coming true like y'all i was SO IN LOVE WITH HIM LMAO#and then i ask him 'be honest did you feel something for me back in hs' and he just won't answer 🥲 keeps dodging the question...#suggests smth that sounds like a yes but then i woke up 😐#i just wanted to let this out... idk it's crazy to me that even after all those years i still think of him#like if he approached me today and asked me out i just KNOW i'd give in. even though it's been almost a decade. i would definitely give in#first loves.. especially unrequited ones... leave an impact fr#my dream sounded like a fic i'd like to come true but well that's not how life works#anyways i'm just sentimental lol tdl ??#personal
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#seeing 'karakura gang' posts is always so damn funny#to me#because bleach is just not... a friendship group manga#it is not a Powa Of Fwiendship manga#hell every time its protagonist genuinely places his trust upon his ~comrades~ or whatever the narrative condemns him for it#it never turns out well!#so it always just feels so forcedfdsjdfsj#especially when there's barely anything reciprocated within the people involved#uryuu gets the 'rain as a metaphor symbolising ichigo's despair' thing#& is obviously important to ichigo#but HE cares most for orihime#and orihime obviously (says she) cares most for ichigo#(but interestingly was quite eager to see shinigami come for him in fullbring while she never lost her faith in uryuu in tybw...)#and chad is just chad i don't think he gaf about either uryuu or orihime on a deep level lol#(as in caring and nurturing their emotional needs level - he obviously would protect them)#orihime gets kidnapped and SHE never gets the despair thing#like this is not a group this is a bunch of one-sided relationships thrown together#17#18#19#20#ok should be safe now#bleach#to find my own thoughts later#dare i even tag this as#bleach meta
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*gritting my teeth while forcing myself to be slightly inconvenienced for the sake of being included in future activities instead of isolating myself as always*: I love to be social and hanging out and even talking
#going on a work retreat and somehow am driving 3 other people now#which is fine for logistical reasons. we’re all leaving from work and then I’ll drop them off there after to get their cars which is by my#apt anyway + they’re all pitching in for gas so it’s not like Bad#I just really like driving alone#and also when I was originally asked to carpool it was just my work bestie and then she was like ‘oh and can *name* come too?’#and then just now she said ‘hey could *name2* also join our carpool?’#raaaaawwwwwrrrrr#but it’s fine. I feel left out from them cause I work in a diff building so I need 2 b grateful I’m being included#cause they could’ve all just gone together but without me#it’s fine! I love people in my car! I love driving in the rain with 3 other people! I’m fine and normal!!!!!!#personal
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Dopie is Ozy's lil meow meow now I don't make the rules here
Doppie tagging behind Ozy's back bc the crowd has suddenly grown larger and he's now anxious
#ardenssolis#O.ZY'S LIL MEOW MEO W EURHGRIGUIUTROIT IM#IMSOBBINGGGGG#me and the terrifying strong powerful king i pulled by having depression#o.zy's sopping wet pathetic lil meow meow#he comes back home drenched in rain and his shoes make a squeaking sound#WHAT ARE THE CHANCES THAT A PHARAOH AND AN ANXIOUS WHITE-COLLAR SALARY MAN COULD BOND??#something about someone who is incredibly confident about themselves bonding with someone who#has a terribly low opinion about himself#THEY ARE BUDDIES.....!!! COMPANIONS EVEN..#he would know how o.zy likes his bath's water temperature and helps him file his taxes#he'll bring him those lil gachapon capsules from the machines close to the train station where he takes his ride back home#and he brushes his hair in the mornings before work#those are my humble headcanons#its like;; its like a rhyno and those lil birds that perch on their back;; and its such an odd combo but they are vibin#he'll teach him how to use a phone too#when o.zy gets loud and proud he puts a hand over his mouth and tries to lead the conversation elsewhere#so the other person doesn't judge him harshly at a first glance#they should go karaoke together and get drunk i think that would help them both#d.oppie makes great fried shrimp and rolled eggs he should try them too okok
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all this rain... 🌧
#welp -_-#I was supposed to go to the outdoor garden cinema with 2 friends tonight but they both cancelled#due to the rain#& I was like well we're all free! let's do something fun together anyway it can be indoors ^_^#'...nah. let's just cancel' like ??? OK 😭 I wanted to see u though. btw. if u even care#whatevarrr. just gonna rot on my bed until work tomorrow I guess. or until a wave of motivation hits me. ugh#like brother if ur gonna cancel outright at least tell me earlier so I can sort something else out for dinner? blease???#I'm just having a bitch this is not my true soul I get over things quickly enough. but cOME ON ur both FREE#vignettes de ma vie
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✧.* IN BLOOM

✧.* summary summer rains bring about the faint scent of asiatic apple blossoms wafting through the house from an open window in the kitchen. time stands still, fragments of moments leading you right to this very second. you take his hand and a deep breath. “anywhere you go, that’s where I want to be, caleb.”
it’s all the permission he needs.
✧.* warnings first time, mutual virginity loss, slightttt psuedo-cest if you squint, soft and smutty, size kink, spanking, oral sex, mating press, dirty talk, breeding, slight aftercare at the end, pillowtalk
✧.* dawn says something different from the dark content i usually write and tried my best to balance fluff and the feelings of losing your v-card for the first time (cue rose from titanic's voice: "it's been 84 yearsssss…")

It’s the middle of the night somewhere in Skyhaven.
The street lights reflect puddles of rain left from a thunderstorm, and the air smells faintly of petrichor, reassuring weary strays and rain-soaked passersby alike that the worst is already over.
While the world dries off from another raging tempest, inside Caleb’s home, you’re in his arms, warm and tipsy from the intimacy of shallow breaths gracing your parted lips.
Smack. Huff. A caress.
Slick and hot, the soft sounds of his kisses make you flush deeper, and you tighten your fingers in his hair.
Caleb moans, unrestrained, as he feels you shift on his lap. Like a drug, he can’t get enough of you. The smell of wildflowers in your hair, how you taste like the strawberry balm he bought for you days ago when you complained of chapped lips. Slick fruitiness glides over his parched mouth, making his kisses glide effortlessly.
He tangles his tongue with yours, sending a jolt of desire running up your spine.
“Mhmph,” you moan against his mouth. “Oh… Caleb .”
His name, sticky sweet with cadences of love, slips past your bruised lips, and he swears his heart chokes on a stutter.
Cool fingers push a stray lock of hair behind your ear, and he hums, those purple eyes vortexes of yearning. The maelstrom of emotion in them makes your chest squeeze, and you lean into his touch, breath coming out in a soft huff.
The unspoken tenuous line looms before the two of you, and you wonder if tonight is the night you’ll dare cross it.
Flames from the digital fireplace flicker, synchronous with the temperature on the thermostat bumping up a notch, the one Caleb got installed because you grumbled that Skyhaven was colder than you remembered. Beads of sweat drip down his temples, but he doesn’t pay them any mind.
You gently run the back of your hand against the muggy skin, wiping his perspiration away.
This close, your breaths mingle and blend into one, the tips of your nose rubbing against each other.
Inevitably, Caleb would pull back, sigh, and tell you to go to sleep while he takes a ridiculously long cold shower. You’d be left alone in your room, an ache blooming between your thighs, and frustration keeping you up all night.
That bastard.
At your core, you understand your ex-older brother figure didn’t mean to edge you to the precipice of oblivion. His protective tendencies, while great in keeping danger away from you, are a hindrance to taking the next, natural step forward together.
As you feather another kiss to his jaw, you feel him pull back.
Caleb’s cheeks are ruddy, not from the heat of the room, but from the one building between the two of you.
He licks his lips, inadvertently drawing your attention to the puffy flesh which is still sticky from your errant smears of lip oil. With a huge sigh, he drags himself back from your orbit, as if he can’t bear to be within crashing distance of your surface.
“Pipsqueak, it’s late,” Caleb whispers, the tenderness of his words brushing against your earlobe.
You shiver when his teeth graze the sensitive flesh.
“You need to sleep—”
Stubbornly, or perhaps, foolishly, you tighten your grip around his neck and drag him closer to you till his forehead bumps yours.
Your lips seek him with a newfound determination, and he almost stumbles back into the stuffed cushion, a moan of desperation slipping past his carefully crafted self-control.
“Pip—”
“No,” you mumble heatedly, and drag your tongue across his lower lip, begging him for access into his mouth.
Caleb reluctantly parts his lips and you tangle your tongue with his, tasting the sweetness of the apple soda he just drank half an hour ago.
“Mhm,” he moans, and gives in to your momentary distraction, knotting his fingers into your already disheveled hair.
Something hard pokes your lower belly, and you whine into the heat of his kisses, running your tongue over the hard palate of his teeth.
Caleb tightens his grip on your hips, and relents into the force of your yearning, feeling the contours of your body melting against the hard planes of his own muscular build. You shiver when he dips his fingers past the hemline of the tank top you’re wearing, your breasts pressed up to his chiseled pecs. He’s bare except for a low-slung pair of sweatpants, temptation right in the palm of your hand.
Your nipples pebble from the friction of his body slowly rubbing against yours, and the need he’s been stoking throbs warmly between your thighs, an aching thirst demanding to be quenched.
“ Caleb… ”
The whispered moan feathers across his cheeks, grazing him with the warm softness that is entirely you.
In his arms, you’re sin waiting to be devoured—those doe-innocent eyes and warm, wet mouth that get him harder than steel.
He whimpers when your lower body drags against his bulge, and winces when you giggle and gently nip his lower lip.
“Pipsqueak—”
Hoarse and ragged, the sound of your childhood nickname brings you up short.
“Caleb, why do you always insist on calling me that when I’m trying to… you know…” you trail off, equally as shy as him.
It’s clear he doesn’t expect you to directly address the elephant in the room. But, after almost losing him once to the explosion and another time to his spiraling secrets, you desperately want to hold on to the man who had taught you what love was.
Caleb’s thumbs stroke the fleshy part of your hips, drawing tender circles on your skin. Those purple eyes flash like a doleful puppy’s and you resist the urge to pinch his cheek. He looks like he’s in pain—as if one touch from you could break him.
“Are you sure?”
His voice is hoarse. Uncertain.
“Once we do this, it’s…” he trails off. Years of knowing his ins and outs make you privy to the true meaning of his hesitation:
Are you sure you want to cross this line with me?
Your fingers tremble when they caress his jaw. Summer rains bring about the faint scent of Asiatic apple blossoms wafting through the house from an open window in the kitchen.
Time stands still, fragments of moments leading you upright to this very second.
You take his hand and a deep breath. Caleb sees your crystal clear eyes, free from the shadows of the doubt creeping into his mind. He tastes the first stirrings of hope, right in the center of his rib cage where his heart pounds valiantly, and tightens his grip on your hand.
You look at him like he’s something precious —gold and gems in the palm of your hand. Tenderly, you press a kiss to his forehead, tasting the salt of his skin, and murmur:
“Anywhere you go, that’s where I want to be, Caleb. ”
It’s all the permission he needs.
Caleb snaps you up into his arms effortlessly, using his unbeatable strength to carry you back to his bedroom, his lips never leaving yours.
The heat of the moment is only broken when he sets you down on the bed, his lips detaching from yours for a moment to trail down your neck, nipping and sucking his marks all over the pristine canvas of your skin. You gasp, arching into his touch, when he nuzzles his face into the crook of your shoulder; biting down on the stretch of skin just begging to be marked by him.
He slides the strap of your tank top to the side, stamping more heated kisses down onto your shoulder, the jut of your arm. Every loving graze is punctuated by his devotion, those violet eyes brewing with the storm of his affection about to snap and break.
Caleb… you whine, and he answers with a low grunt, his entire weight bearing down on you.
As kids, he’s always had the unfair advantage of his build and age to win at wrestling. Gran would often find the two of you entangled on the rug, you flushed and seething and him glowing with triumph when he’s won—yet again.
But, the press of his body on yours is different this time.
It carries a more intimate intention, all of which is far from the innocence of playfully fighting each other for the last hawthorn-flavored candy in the fridge, or the privilege of choosing what Saturday morning cartoons to watch.
He sweeps your hair back, letting it drape over your other shoulder as he moves his lips to the delicate stretch of skin still untouched by the heat of his mouth. Caleb’s teeth graze your pulse point, and you jerk, as if electrocuted.
“Nghm,” you moan, and he huffs a chuckle, his warm breath making goosebumps erupt across your arms. “ Fuc—”
“Uh-uh,” he chastises, the heat of his mouth swelling over your pulse point, gently sucking on your skin. Leaving another errant mark. “Don’t swear—good princesses never swear.”
Teeth sink into your lower lip. You feel dizzy and elated at the same time like you’re standing on the highest point of the earth, looking down at the swirling colors below.
“Ngh—C-Caleb. ”
Oh, you sound so weak. Already driven to your knees, metaphorically, for this man who had as much power over you as you did over him.
“Yeah, princess?”
He moves his lips down to your sternum, hot puffs making your nipples perk up from her dormant slumber. They tent underneath the ratty, old t-shirt you’re wearing, the one that used to belong to him, demanding to be sucked and teased.
Caleb is careful to not push your boundaries, but you don’t want any of that.
Grabbing his head, you press it none-too-gently in between the valley of your tits, wordlessly signaling what you need.
His dog tag shines in the low light of his bedroom, the apple charm a glint of red that complements the fog of lust taking over you. Everywhere you look, you feel, is nothing but Caleb.
He presses you flat into the bed, the sheets bunching up under you and in your tight fists.
“Don’t touch… not yet. Can you follow my orders, baby?”
There’s no choice for you, but to nod.
Slowly, like molasses dripping from the lip of a bottle, he wraps his mouth around your turgid, right nipple. The dampness of his saliva seeps past the thin fabric, and you cry out when he bites down on your bud, the brief flash of pain lighting up your nerves from head to toe.
Slick need saturates the seat of your old sleep pants. You whimper when the head of his cock drives between the cleft of your pussy, digging against your clit.
Sparks of pleasure ricochet from the tips of your fingers up to your hairline and you groan, mouth falling lax.
He takes his time, swirling his tongue over your tender peak, broad strokes of his tongue spreading more spit and heat, wetting the front of your shirt. It’s methodical, how every stroke of attention stacks up to a building heat throbbing at your core.
A supernova of desire, bulging and waiting to explode.
(And, he hasn’t even fucked you yet).
Caleb moves his attention to your other peak, and you cry out when he nibbles on it, your hands breaking formation from the bed where he’s ordered them to be stationed, and tangling disobediently in his dark hair.
But, he doesn’t chastise you.
Caleb continues to purl swathes of his tongue over your tender nipple, flickering his darkened gaze up to the line of your jaw as the pleasure unfurls across your heated face.
You choke on another cry when he pries your thighs further apart, settling his bigger build between them.
“Look at you.” Heated derision drips from his venomous lips, and you lap them up, tilting his head up to taste his lips. You’re not sure how you ended up in this position when it was you who wanted this. The last bit of control you have dissipates, and your body falls open for him like the spine of a well-read book.
It scares you how much Caleb knows about your body. The small scar above your knee when you crashed your bike into the wide trunk of an oak tree. The grooves of your neck now bear his kisses and marks.
Despite staying true to his word about never getting a girlfriend, Caleb is mysteriously nimble and sure for a virgin.
“Did you have another girl before me?”
You don’t mean to sound accusatory, but the words fly from your puffy lips and you can’t take them back.
Not when he glances up at you as if you had insulted thirteen generations of his family.
“Uh—no,” he mutters defensively, caustically pushing back his sweat-soaked bangs from his flushed face. “ Excuseeee me, princess. What’s with that tone? You know you’re the only woman I’d ever touch.”
You purse your lips and level him another glare, though it’s tempered by a glowing warmth in your chest.
“R-really?”
You hate how whiny you sound, like a psychotic girlfriend. But, Caleb does have a penchant for bringing out the crazy in you when you least expect it.
He brings your knuckles to his lips, feathering a soft kiss on them. “Yeah. Why do you think I took so many cold showers growing up? This little pipsqueak is far too tempting for me.” He punctuates his point with another kiss on the nape of your neck.
His Adam's apple bobs from the admission, and your eyes widen.
“Huh. I seeee .”
You drag your words like him, playfully pinching his cheek. “That’s… kinda sweet.”
“Yeah, yeah,” his gruffness reminds you of a ruffled puppy, and you laugh, tugging his silver chain with two fingers.
The scene flickers. The man on top of you cracks, and a fragment of the boy you grew up with glimmers; the past merges with the present, and the essence of who Caleb is grins mischievously right in front of you.
Like so many times before, he tackles you onto the bed, hands flying underneath your shirt to tickle your sides.
“No! Caleb! I yield! I yield—! ”
Your infectious laughter bounces across the monochromatic walls of his room and fills his lungs with bubbles of joy.
“Yeah, you better,” he threatens jokingly. While you’re still giggling, he grabs the hem of your shirt and gives it an experimental tug. When you don’t resist, Caleb pushes the envelope of your consent and lifts the shirt past the smooth terrain of your tummy, inching it up slowly… so slow…
His fingers are trembling, and you take over, helping him with the last stretch, leaning up to tug your shirt completely off your body.
Your chest squeezes with a mix of dread and anticipation when he eyes your bare breasts, a myriad of emotions flitting across those deep-set purple eyes.
Need, desire, shame, anger—tenderness.
His eyes speak the truth, even when he remains silent, and no matter how much he changes into the stoic Colonel you now have to coincide with your gentle older brother figure, those irises will always betray his true emotions for you.
Now, they’re gooey with a feeling neither of you can name, as he peppers more kisses around the plush fat of your breast. Taking his time, he teases you with puffs of hot breath and grazes of his teeth.
Working you up to a crescendo of need before he gives you what you want.
And god, do you want it.
Your body is arching tighter than a bow ready to strike, so keyed up from his few touches and the previous makeout session.
“Caleb—”
“Yeah, gotcha.”
He samples the flavor of your skin, closer now to your nipple. Your thoughts flat lines into a white-hot buzzing hum when he finally— finally —wraps his lips around your tender bud.
Fuuucckkk. Your keening sigh sends a chill straight to his bones.
Suckling tenderly, he pulls the taut flesh into the enticing vacuum of his mouth and releases it, forming a small ‘O’ with his puffy lips and moving on to your next breast.
The twinge of unending sucking and nibbling rubs your tender flesh raw.
Caleb… Caleb…
You’re panting like you’re racing a marathon. He leaves a bunch of hickies down the pillowy fat of your tits, making his mark loud and clear on your body for the world to see.
A possessive hint curls on the edges of his smile and he braces himself on his forearms, juicy biceps glistening in the interplay of shadow and light in this muggy room.
Peeling your glassy eyes at him, you huff, grumbling.
“Tease.”
He laughs heartily at your adorable accusation.
“Never said I wasn’t a right bastard, love,” he coos, cocky and sure. You want to wipe the smirk off his infuriatingly handsome face.
Leaning up, your spit-soaked nipples rub the hard planes of his broad chest, and you tangle your hand in his hair, drawing him down into the plush sin of your eager kisses.
“S-low down,” he huffs, smothered by your smacking little puckers.
You giggle, a vixen on the loose, needing to rein her mate in. “Nuh-uh. Not until you finally fuck me senseless.”
Caleb cocks a brow. “S’that an invitation, darlin’?”
Stuttering, you realize your mistake a second too late when he prowls over you, pressing you into the mattress, fluid like a panther locking sights on its prey.
“ Wait— ”
Caleb wastes no time hooking his thumbs under the frayed band of your shorts, tugging it down in staccato drags to mess with you.
“ Caleb—! ”
You whine, more turned on than annoyed by his teasing. It’s not until the sight of your mound appears, clinging to the edge of the band like the horizon of a new world beckoning to be explored does he stops, gaping at the sight with reddening ears.
It’s your turn to mess with him. “Cat got your tongue… gege?”
He stares at the sliver of skin like a blind man feeling the sun on his face for the first time.
“Shit,” he breathes. “You’re beautiful .”
Tentatively, he drags the last remaining piece of clothing off your body, his breath lodging in the back of his throat.
God… he groans. Pretty, little princess… gonna taste you so good.
Two worlds crash, sky to earth, and Caleb’s mouth meets the terrain of your pelvis. Traveling downward, he connects a path from hip to mound, and you feel his tongue sampling this uncharted territory.
His broad back almost blocks out the light above and god—you’re already panting when the sharp jut of his shoulder blades creates an attractive silhouette sliding down the last few inches of your body, finding his haven in the juncture of your thighs.
Caleb spreads' em’ nice and wide, making sure to run the tip of his tongue over the cushiony bounce of his lower lip. Shit, you murmur under your breath, before he dips his head and enjoys his meal.
The tapered edge of his tongue touches your clit, and you lose the last semblance of control.
You know Caleb’s always been a foodie, and the way he practically feasts on your pussy is no different.
Slick juices smear across his pretty mauve lips, and he slurps you up obscenely. The gloss of his spit lubes you up hotly from the inside, filling you with a pressing slick.
Oh—mhmph… you groan, panting heavily.
How was he so goddamn good with his tongue?
“Nghmm,” he moans, looking up at you with drunken purple eyes, lost in the sweetness of this sin he can’t stop devouring. “You taste heavenly.”
Caleb presses into your pussy, treating her like an old lover he wants to French kiss till dawn.
The high bridge of his nose bumps against your tender clitty, and he takes this chance to smear his lips all over your folds, rubbing your bundle of nerves raw.
Your back lifts off from the bed and you can’t make sense of where you start and he ends.
“H-ahhh,” you moan, and twine your fingers in his hair, tugging.
“Easy,” he groans, lifting his wet, plump lips from where your core is inhaling him in. “Y’gonna make me bald in no time, princess…”
A senseless dribble of drool trickles past your lips, and you feel the thick toughness of his finger swiping it up, popping it into his mouth. Caleb grins, spreading your legs wider, and lifts your lower body off the bed. The sight of a dark spot seeping the front of his pants makes your breathing stutter, and you can’t keep your eyes away from such a lewd show.
“See what’cha do to me, sweetness?” He moans and gingerly takes your hand with his right one to press it right on his crotch.
Holy shit. Your eyes bulge wide.
He’s fucking huge.
You lick your lips in nerves, unable to tear your eyes away from the undulating mass of his rock-hard abs moving with every ragged breath he takes.
“Is that…?”
Caleb smirks, a dark look flitting in his eyes. “All for you?” he finishes. “Yeah, sweetness.”
As if goading you to take the next step, he tips his head to the side, looking at you from under his thick lashes, his magnetic eyes pinning you to the bed.
“Wanna see it?”
He guides your hand to rock against the hard bulge, and you swallow when you feel him twitch under your palm.
The reality of your position under him hits you, and you feel as if every breath you take might make you float up to the ceiling. Your mind is racing, a cacophony of thoughts that swirl and blend into one pulsing thrum of more, more, more.
“Y-yeah.”
He grunts at your admittance and steers your fingers to the edge of his band. “There you go—tug it down, princess…”
You do as he says, and gasp when the crown of his cock comes into view.
Girthy, thick. Veiny.
A dark, almost violet-inky trail of hair leads down to the rise of his pubic bone, and you stare as the curve of his cock becomes more pronounced. Flaccid at 6 inches, he would rise to greater heights once released into the open air, and you panic, closing your fist around his still-clothed head as you beg him with your eyes to pause.
“Hold on…” you gasp. “Jus’ wait a minute.”
Caleb pauses, his eyes flashing.
“You… don’t want this?”
The implicit question hangs heavy in the air.
You don't want me?
It pains you how quick he is to incriminate himself as undesirable when it's the furthest thing from the truth.
“No!” you mumble and gently hook your fingers under his chin to get him to look at you. “I just… need a second to recalibrate cause… holy shit… you’re massive—”
He guffaws, shaking his head, boyish face lit up in joy. “S’that all? Aw, princess…” he coos and flicks your nose with his index finger. “Swear, you can be so adorable sometimes…” he teases, and you huff.
You take a deep breath and center yourself, before finding the courage to proceed with tugging down his boxers and sweatpants.
“Okay…” you murmur, and un-fist the soft material, dragging it down with bated breath.
There he is, in all his glory.
He’s warm and alive in your hands, and you give the girthy base a generous pump. His smell hits you—musk, man, briny…
Is this how a real man feels? You think your obvious lack of experience makes you faint with worry.
Would Caleb notice?
Would he hate how you don’t even know what to do with a cock?
What if he doesn’t want you to touch him—deciding you’re too inexperienced for his tastes…?
“Shit—” Caleb hisses, taken off guard by your sudden movement. “You’re killing me here, princess…”
In such simple praise, you find your footing once more against the tidal wave of insecurity.
Pushing aside your worries, you hum, taking your time to explore his body.
The divots of his abs, the crinkles of his girth as it sits so pretty on his lower body like a pair of crown jewels.
You run your thumb over the pulsing globes of his balls, feeling the soft, almost velvety skin dimpling under your touch.
Caleb grunts, and you flicker your gaze to him. His brows are furrowed, and he looks a second away from busting a vein, his face a light shade of puce.
“Caleb?” You softly call out to him in worry. “Are you—?”
“Yeah,” he gasps, and shakes his head, closing his eyes. “Jus’... didn’t expect you to feel this good…”
Good?
You feel… good?
Licking your lips, you focus your concentration on the fleshy plump head of his cock. If he has sensitive balls, Caleb is practically a timebomb of nerves on the tip of his arousal.
Flushed and sticky with pre, you swipe your thumb through the crease of his slit, gathering the milky white deposit and slowly bringing it to your mouth.
Salty. With a hint of bitterness.
Surprisingly, he tastes amazing—
Large hands yank your away from his cock.
He doesn’t give you the luxury of time to enjoy him.
Your world suddenly tilts and Caleb’s growl is loud in your ear. He has you pressed into the sheets, your face in the soft cotton, and his large palms kneading the doughy rise of your bare ass.
Smack!
You gasp and jerk back, indignation at the tip of your tongue. But, it dissipates when he drivels a finger right into your core, sinking fully into the heat of your pussy.
Your scream is muffled into the pillowy sheets, and he wastes no time in hooking his meaty digit up, hitting a spongy spot inside you that makes your toes curl.
With his other hand, he continues to spank you, little pert taps that grow in intensity as his frustration builds.
“Look - at - how - wet - you’re - getting,” he snarls, and withdraws his fingers to show you the trails webbing in between them, proof of your not-so-innocent reciprocation. Caleb taps his slick fingers to your lips, and you part them obediently, half-thrills of fear and lust curling up your spine.
The taste of you perforates your tongue. Sweet and musky, you've sampled your arousal before, but never from his hand. Gagging lightly on his digits, your eyes roll back into your head and you feel his fingers tickling your uvula.
Shit, he curses under his breath. You're too cute, Pipsqueak… too precious.
He moans as you gurgle his name. Cwaleb…
Throaty and sweet, you're the perfect symphony and he could listen to you all night.
Caleb withdraws his sticky fingers from the back of your throat with a damp, little ‘pop’ as his spit-slicked digits tap your cheek.
“Fuck, you're too perfect .”
He sets you back on your back, your pouty, glossy lips twisting in a smirk. Caleb hooks your ankles around his shoulders, and—showing he's about as virginal as a town bicycle—smooths his thumb through the mess of your folds.
His pointer catches on the lip of your gaping, swollen pussy, and he hums when he smears your love juices all around, making sure to get it as messy and creamy as possible.
Inching his thumb past the loosened ring of muscle, he grins.
The gooey, silky mess coats him to the knuckle. You're already pretty free and easy for him to slip his cock in.
“Just a little more, sweetness,” he coos, twisting his thumb, slipping it out only to replace it with his index finger. His now free thumb smears the cream of your arousal around, catching on the pearly mound of your clit as he deepens the pressure.
Nghh ahhh, Caleb! You cry out.
Your cheeks are warm, eyes glossy with heat and Caleb can't get enough of the way you're panting and twisting on the sheets, writhing like a prey caught in his trap.
It's too much. Too fucking much.
Desire turns your thoughts hazy. There’s a swollen spot inside of you that he manipulates with ease, pressing down on it— “S’good girl,” he murmurs into your neck. “Taking my fingers so well. You make me so damn proud, darlin’.”
You’re panting, lapping at the sweat beading on your upper lip.
It’s too hot.
He feels like a fucking furnace above you.
Bigger than any man you ever imagined to take, Caleb is a beast trapped in the body of the boy you love. His scent drenches you—cedar wood body soap bleeding into your pores, marking you as his. The scent of his aftershave grazes your cheek as he leans in to give you a sloppy, full-tongued kiss.
Mhmmph—you mewl, clinging onto him like ivy.
Your thighs wrap around his waist instinctively, and everything is primal when you finally give yourself up to him.
His plump, weepy tip catches on your pulsing opening, and he groans at the briefest contact of slick mingling together. You’re so wet, your pussy juices web with his pre, silvery strands clinging to the lip of that little hole he wants so badly to sink into.
Like the deepest tunnel in space, Caleb wants to venture where no man will ever go. He grasps the head of his cock and guides it right to where the blackhole of all his desires resides, rimming the opening where he swears nirvana throbs out his name.
Caleb… she calls out to him. Claim me. Come in me.
He answers her signal, forehead smushed with yours, his sweat dripping into your slack mouth.
It’s a strange sensation.
Fingers. Tampons. The occasional vibrator.
None of it can compare to the sheer volume and intensity of a real cock pushing past the envelope of your flesh. The ridges and bumps feel magnified as if there’s a forcefield of pleasure accompanying such penetration. Like it’s sucking you into a different dimension.
Your head spins and your gasps sound far away, like someone has plunged you right into a swimming pool.
The only anchor you have is Caleb’s broad shoulders.
You hold onto him as he rocks his hips forward, pleasure unfurling down your spine like a current.
Fuck… Caleb…
There’s nothing else in your mind but him.
The sound of his groans. The pinched furrow of ecstasy on his brow. His swollen lips hovering over yours.
Even the dim lighting of the room makes you feel cocooned in his embrace, safe from the horrors of the world.
It’s effortless, really, how he grasps your hips and opens you up to him like you’re a centerpiece dish all bared out and vulnerable.
Nimble hands arrange you into the meanest mating press as your legs dangle above you uselessly, swaying with every hard roll of his thrusts.
Caleb fucks like he wants to put you through the mattress.
There’s nothing romantic about this—a man hellbent on making you his. His cockhead smushes with your cervix in a romantic dance of fleeting French kisses. Marking you for days. God, you whine. God, you’re—
So good.
So good.
Oh, Caleb.
More. More.
You don’t even notice the light schmear of blood coating his length. Or, how the pinch of pain is overridden by the messy plap plap plap of your bodies meeting together.
You’ve just given up your virginity to the boy you love—the man who’s been with you through hell and back.
Caleb grabs your ankles and presses it down onto the pillows above your head, plunging his cock in and out, in and out. It’s sloppy and you’re making a mess everywhere.
Foamy white creams at the base of his cock, dribbling onto the dark sheets of his duvet.
Your body rocks with him, the bed creak creak creaking under the brunt of his thrusts.
He dwarfs you, a mountain of a man bruising the same golden spot that makes your toes curl in your periphery.
“Fuck,” he drawls, purple eyes gouging on your every reaction. “You— mhm —’re squeezin’ down so good, princess.” He huffs, dew drops of sin splattering from his lips and lapped up by your tongue on his jaw. Caleb groans, his hips stuttering. “Can’t get enough of you,” he starts to babble, face flush and eyes heavy with intoxication. Your pussy is the perfect drug for him.
He starts to whine, dog tags slicked with sweat and heavy with his body heat thudding against your jaw. You part your lips and bite down on the metal, tasting salt and tang. “You—ngmmm—feel too good… so good—ah, shit, sweetness—” Caleb curses, thick fingers dimpling into the flesh of your hips and tipping you up to be fuller of him.
C-can’t hold back, darlin’, he almost whimpers. I-I can’t… you gotta come with me. Come on, sweetness, give it to me… give me your cum, baby. That’s it, baby. Ooohhh, yes. Yes. There she is. Atta girl. Goooddd girl. Stay with me, baby. Don’t—lift your hips, fuck. Lemme rub that pretty pearl, darlin’. You look so good cummin’ all over me—
Your screams pierce the night air, echoing with a clap of thunder outside the windows. But, you can’t pay attention to storms, not when the biggest one is wrecking you apart.
Caleb moves like a man possessed, greasin’ his thumb around your pebbled clit, changing the angle so he’s pushing even deeper—
“Caleb!”
Your back arches off the bed, till only the crown of your head remains on the pillows. Caleb pushes back, drowning you back into the sheets, his whole body pressing down— “Shit, nghmmm! —” he grounds out in a low voice.
Almost a growl.
It makes your insides shiver around his cock. He doesn’t jackhammer you like those oiled-up studs do in pornos.
He takes it intensely, grinding his hips, injecting his rhythm with a few punctuating thrusts.
“Good —” you choke out. “—fuck me so good— ”
Yeah? He teases, dark bangs falling in his face, covering one of his magnetic violet irises.
Your body tenses, abs clenching, and he groans.
Tipping you further down the precipice, Caleb ducks his head and engorges his wet, hot mouth around your swollen nipples. He pinches the other one with his free hand, the spare still frigging your clit with the intensity of a madman.
Your eyes roll back into your head.
You clench—hard.
White hot paint splatters behind your closed eyes, imprinting on your lids and the world fades into hypersound as you scream:
Caaaleeeebbbb!
Oh, shit.
Your walls massage him better than any fleshlight could. Definitely a thousand times better than his hand.
He’s a goner right there and then.
Thick, fat spurts of hot, sticky cum fill you up. Neither he nor you care about what this means, pumping you to the brim until wet, gummy dribbles splotch down onto the bed. Caleb shudders like a great beast, and with one last, heaving push, he breeds you.
.
.
.
There’s nothing else in the ringing quiet but your ragged breath.
The world slowly comes back—a flickering flash of thunder. Caleb’s soft groan.
He pulls himself out, and the effect is a reverse weirdness of when he fucked himself in.
It leaves you gaping. Empty. You whine and he chuckles tiredly, gathering you into his arms.
All's silent for a few moments until you hear the bed creak and his weight off the mattress. Your blurry eyes open to find his massive, muscular frame in all its naked glory ambling to the bathroom. In a few moments, a warm softness glides between your puffy, well-abused folds, and you moan, twitching away.
“I know, I know,” he soothes. “But, I gotta get you cleaned up. Stay still, sweets.”
He wipes you down until you’re clean again, and tosses the soiled rag to the floor. Your arms open on autopilot for him, and Caleb chuckles, sinking back into the ring of warmth your body gives him.
Sighing into your hair, he tightens his grip around you. Outside, the eddies of raindrops swirl down the window panes, and another flash of thunderclaps. He slowly presses a kiss to your head, holding you tighter as a new storm rages unceasingly.
Caleb yanks the blankets up to your waist, and uses himself as a weighted one, pressing you into the soft mattress, much to your bubbling giggles. He smiles, loving the sound, and gently flicks your chin with his index finger.
“I didn’t hurt you, didn’t I?”
He moves to your side and you turn around, propping your head under your arm to gaze at him, a lovesick expression etched on your face.
Caleb mirrors your movement, also sliding his arm under his head, his other slung casually on your hip.
“Nah,” you admit after a beat of silence. “Didn’t even feel it.”
He pretends to pout. “Y’know, if you say that in a different context, I would get really, really hurt, Pipsqueak.”
You groan, and smack his chest. “Just like you to ruin the mood.”
He catches your hand, pressing your palm to his cheek with a boyish laugh.
“I’m kiddin'! Kidding, darlin’. C’mere—”
Yoinking you closer, he smears a kiss onto the nape of your neck.
As you trace his arm, he hums.
“You… really blew my mind,” he admits sheepishly.
“Huh. I did?” It’s your turn to tease him now. “Well… I guess so did you.”
You yelp when he pinches your ass playfully.
“‘Oh, Calebbbb ’.” He mocks your earlier moans. “‘Ahhhh moreee moreee— ’”
“Hey—!”
He lets you smack his chest, snickering in glee like a stupid boy.
“Juussstt kiddin’, sweets.” He kisses you right on your pouty lips. “Knew you’d be perfect. You’re always perfect.”
And, your heart melts.
“Really?” You whisper as a subtle flash of lightning illuminates one side of his grin. Warmth fills you up when he nods.
“Is it sad to say I’ve been dreamin’ about you like this for eons?”
You shake your head, a smile playing on the corners of your lips. Slightly breathless, you respond:
“I’ve been… thinking about you that way, too, baby.”
You expect him to make a stupid joke, or to diffuse the tender moment with his snark.
But, Caleb doesn’t do that. He loves being in this delicate bubble with you—and only you.
“Good,” he hums. “Because I’m not done with you yet, sweets—not by a lonnggg shot.”
a/n: comments and reblogs are very much appreciated ! thank you for reading ;D

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#🦢 writes#caleb love and deepspace#caleb x reader#lads caleb#caleb lads#caleb x mc#caleb smut#caleb fluff#love and deepspace caleb#lnds caleb#love and deepspace fic#lads smut#lnds smut#lnds fluff#lads fanfic#lads fluff
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It's rough on me when you've won like 99.7 or 99.8 percent of our nonverbal get togethers
#all voice who would have known it would trigger your hormone products#yo that green lady#her belly was mucho grande#that floor? sometimes the rain is so big it feels like it's coming from below you#like good do it with vivacious expression#great a nerd so bonered over the English language I have to use context of conversation to figure out word meaning#you say you put a pattern in#*sigh* it would be so much easier to just come get me#I for once in my life ask questions and not to diagnose where I interrupt#I want to you to talk in the ancient tongue with me about it face to face#I am just saying science shows if we meet up good things usually happen#see you = confidence no see you = I just performed a miracle and gave her the best “sex” of her life I hope she isn't mad at me#well I can forgive myself for having an inner female#it's you#I always got a little huffy when those taurus descriptions came along#so much blends together I misremember so much shit#it is odd in that the human emotion is there but I can't put a picture to it sometimes
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