#queue pursued by a bear

[chekovs-merkin]

i love it when people go spock belongs to jim so i want bones for myself

[chekovs-merkin]

some of you guys have GOT to remember about fun

[kcgarashi]

just a heads up if you want my discord lmk as i am gonna be busy getting ready for my holiday this week

[hawksights]

tag dump #4

[lovings4turn]

୧ ‧₊˚ ☕️ ⋅ ☆ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭…

— in desperate need of caffeine, logan stumbles into the first cafe he comes across. little does he know, this will be the start of something great.

+ the first part of my whole latte love series , aka my child , so i hope you all enjoy <3 this is set in the uk , but reader isn't specified to be any particular nationality !

+ dividers from benkeibear !!

there were many sacrifices logan sargeant was willing to make in his life.

flying halfway across the world aged only eleven to pursue his dream of racing, for one. on a smaller scale, always allowing his brother dalton to ride shotgun on family trips, despite the fact that the backseat caused his legs to cramp up after a few hours.

but, no matter how late he was running, logan had promised himself he would never, ever deprive his body of a hot, caffeinated beverage before a meeting. 

on this particular morning, though, logan was running especially late. normally, the jarring sound of the iphone alarm would snap him from his deep sleep within seconds, the noise sparking an instant feeling of dread within him even when it wasn't coming from his phone. 

he’d learned that alex had a habit of setting alarms for various things throughout the day, before promptly forgetting what he’d set it for, leaving logan to go through the five stages of grief at least four times a weekend. 

but it seemed today the universe had been a little bored, and so decided to find entertainment in burdening a poor, unsuspecting american race car driver with one minor inconvenience after another. 

firstly, his alarm hadn't woken him up. correction: it had woken him up, just thirty minutes after it was supposed to.

secondly, his pride in managing to get dressed with an impressive five minutes to spare was quickly dissipated when he couldn't find his keys or wallet. the hunt had set him back another ten minutes (because why on earth would he think to check the cutlery drawer until he had run out of other possible options?).

and, for good measure, he'd tripped over his own welcome mat in his mad dash out of his apartment. so, yeah, it had been a morning, to put it lightly.

logan cursed to himself as he all but jogged down the busy street, eyes desperately scanning every building he passed in search of a cafe. he was too frantic to read any shop signs, but when he witnessed two girls walking out of a doorway clutching two paper cups, he knew he'd struck gold.

fucking finally.

logan offered the pair a tight lipped smile as he slipped past them and into the cafe, letting a sigh of relief escape his lips as the familiar smell of strong, freshly brewed coffee hit him. 

this was more than worth being late for, he decided. he'd pick up a few extra coffees, as an apology, a courtesy of some kind. who could be mad with a cup of coffee in their hand? though logan figured he was allowed to be a little lax in his timings anyways, since he was no longer in his rookie year at williams. the team would forgive him quick enough.

trainer-clad feet led him towards the back of the fairly short queue leading up to the counter, and logan took the opportunity to slip his phone out from his coat pocket and shoot a quick text to alex. he hoped his teammate wouldn’t mind bearing the responsibility of updating the rest of the team on his whereabouts. 

‘sorry, overslept. omw now though, bringing coffee as an apology and effort to keep my head’.

three laughing emojis quickly flared up onto logan’s lockscreen, and he took that as a positive sign. 

it was only when logan placed his phone back into his pocket that he realised just how close he was to the front of the line, and immediately began rehearsing his order. sure, he ordered the same thing practically every single time he got coffee, but with the day he was having, he’d probably find a way to absolutely butcher the simple order.

all he needed was his oat milk latte, a black coffee for james, and some sort of sugary, overly sweet concoction for alex. he doubted this place sold the pumpkin spiced lattes that he loved to tease alex about ordering, so he’d just have to find the next best thing.

only, when he finally stepped up to the counter and opened his mouth to order, his mind went blank.

standing only a few feet in front of him was the most gorgeous person logan had ever seen, and considering he’d travelled the world and met countless different women and men over the years, that was an impressive achievement. 

you, luckily, hadn’t noticed the internal reboot logan was experiencing, and focused instead on offering him a warm smile and greeting.

“morning! what can i get for you today?” you asked, finger poised and ready to input his order into the till in front of you.

logan barely managed to stop himself from physically shaking his head in an attempt to clear it, before pasting a crooked grin of his own onto his lips.

“good morning,” he returned, voice a little quiet before he cleared his throat and spoke up again. “can i just get a large black americano, large oat milk latte, and uh,” logan paused, eyes quickly scanning the board in front of him as he weighed up all of the different syrups available. 

vanilla, caramel, hazelnut, and oh, thank god, cinnamon. that was close enough to pumpkin spice, right?

“and a large cinnamon latte, please. oh, to take out.” he finished, finally returning his eyes to you as you skillfully rang through his order.

“ah, great choice,” you commented, your smile still never having left your lips. 

from the moment he’d opened his mouth, you’d quickly registered the accent, though opted not to comment on it despite how pleasing it was to your ears. of course there were no shortage of americans stepping into the cafe everyday, but there was something about his in particular that caused your ears to perk up a little more. maybe it was down to the person it was attached to, instead. 

“and is that everything for you today?” you continued, snapping back into following what you’d aptly dubbed your ‘service speech’, a routine that ensured you didn't stumble over your words to every customer you served.

“that’s all, yeah.” logan responded with another small smile. 

“perfect. that’ll be nine eighty there.”

"great, thank you."

logan quickly pulled out his phone to pay, though as his eyes caught the small jar sat on the counter, ‘tips’ scrawled onto a label in nice handwriting, he wished he was paying by cash. a flash of hope ran through him as he dug his hand into his jean pocket, and he had never been more relieved to feel some spare change brush against his fingertips. 

barely even bothering to count how much was there – it looked to be about three pounds, but he could have been wrong - logan dropped it into the jar, offering you a sheepish smile. he felt a little foolish, paying by card and fumbling around for some cash, but the look on your face was more than worth it. 

“thank you,” you repeated with a soft laugh. “should be ready for you in two minutes.”

logan couldn’t bring himself to speak again, so simply nodded and moved to walk to the point he would collect his drinks from. before that, though, he would grant himself one, small privilege. 

his eyes quickly found your name badge, and he scanned it as subtly as he could before he walked away, the name replaying over and over in his mind like a broken record. but, no. broken records were annoying, an inconvenience, something to fix or throw out. your name was anything but. 

not even five minutes after he’d placed his order were his drinks placed onto the counter, each labelled appropriately to save for any confusion. a cupholder had also been provided, which logan was eternally grateful for. he didn’t think the three drinks would survive the short journey otherwise. as a treat to himself, he took a small sip from his latte and almost swore. logan didn’t believe in magic, but he was sure that this coffee was somehow laced with it. never had a simple oat latte tasted so good to him.

and, he thought, a little embarrassingly, never had someone looked so good making one, either. 

“see you later!” you called from behind the till, lifting your hand in a gesture that could be perceived as a wave, but also an attempt to smooth your hair a little. 

logan nodded and gave you a smile. you would definitely see him later. he had just found his new favourite coffee shop, and he wasn’t going to give it up any time soon.

☕️ . . . there it is , the first instalment !! i loved writing this so much - and actually did so with a cinnamon iced latte of my own , as alex and i are actually one and the same ! hope you all enjoyed , and thank you for reading <3

[mrepstein]

The Flat That Epstein Bought - Liverpool Echo - July 11, 1964

HOME - with the man behind the Beatles, Gerry and the Pacemakers, Cilla Black, Billy J. Kramer, etc, etc.

Reported by Barbara Anne Taylor

---

I don’t want to brag or cause any jealousy, but I used to queue for the Saturday matinee at a cinema that was next to a furniture shop that was called Epstein and Son and that Epstein’s other son manages the Beatles.

And that is as exciting as dancing with a man who danced with a girl who danced with the Prince of Wales.

The other son is Brian, who has in his time pursued many careers until he found his present crock of gold. He did originally embark, with no lack of enthusiasm, on a career in his family’s furniture business.

CRAFTY CHERUB

“I was 21 at the time,” said Mr. Epstein, who looks like a sharp-clothed, crafty cherub, “and extremely interested in design and interior decorating - still am. I served,” he added stoically, “my apprenticeship with the Times Furnishing Company in Liverpool.

“I was fanatically keen on what I regarded as contemporary at the time. I felt quite a missionary zeal about it, so I wasn’t fired with enthusiasm about the furniture in my father’s shop. It all looked to me like greasy great walnut bedroom suites.

“I was full of notions about the customers really wanting the sort of furniture I wanted them to have. I overlooked the fact that my father is a successful business man because he knows what his customers want. However, I persuaded him to stock some of the furniture of my choice.”

When I asked Mr. Epstein if his chosen furniture sold, he received the question a trifle incredulously: “I saw to it,” he said stonily, “that it did” - and having subsequently witnessed something of his adroitness as a salesman, who can fail to believe him?

Mr. Epstein is clever at picking people; he picked his parents very wisely, for his indulgent father then set him up in his own furniture shop in Hoylake.

He was able to revel in the furniture of his choice and provide an interior decorating service to boot. “It was the interior decorating side I enjoyed most, I had lots of ideas and I love experimenting with colour.”

When I asked Mr. Epstein if he was able to submit his clients to his ideas he replied: “The customer is always right.”

Mr. Epstein inhabits the top floor and the roof, where he has potted plants and wrought iron furniture, and swinging chintz hammocks and a splendid view.

He has two bedrooms and a study and one large, long combined living and dining room, which is decorated in white, grapish green and amber and is inspiringly tidy.

“I can’t bear clutter, I’m obsessive about plainness and simplicity, in fact, this room looks cluttered to me,” he said, eyeing with some distaste this positive precedent for orderliness.

The Buyer of Antiques

“I like buying antiques, although I have no knowledge of them. I don’t care about their period or their history. I just care about their shape. I couldn’t live with only modern furniture now, you grow out of such utter devotion. It’s rather sad really.”

“I find it completely absorbing searching for exactly what I want but there’s really not much choice, is there? I mean, there appears to be a lot but when you get down to it there is really very little.

“And isn’t it sad when finally you’ve found exactly what you want, then you discover that it’s exactly what hundreds of other people want too. It sort of spoils the specialness of it.

“I found it an exciting experience furnishing my first home, it takes a lot of time and thought, because you are imprinting something of yourself there. I think there is something of me in this flat, though it’s not exactly right. I long to have a separate dining room... well, what I really long for is a house.

Knows What He Wants

“I know exactly what I want. I can’t describe it to you, I could perhaps draw it. It is certainly nothing like the castles and follies I keep being offered. It’s a house I’ve had in my head for ages, I’ll know it the moment I see it.

“Till then I’m happy here. I look forward to coming home, that’s the big test, and my friends seem to like it and that’s also important because I love entertaining.

“Yes the Beatles approve - at least they approve of most of the furniture: they were a bit scornful about the antiques. Paul is very fond of the rocking chair, but what they all approved of most was the way I had their photographs framed. Cilla thinks it is all fab.”

[jurijyuu]

Scratch an Itch Chapter 35: Heartbreak is one thing, my Ego's another

Link to AO3 for full chapter

Alastor’s POV

He didn’t need her.

Bzzzt.

Her quick comebacks to his puns, her hesitant chuckles at his cruelty. Those things didn’t matter.

Click. Click.

Obsessed. Obsessed. Obsessed! How far did he let himself fall? And for what? The imaginary scrapes of her teeth? The warm brush of her shoulders when she leaned against him? Was he really so tempted by anything she would deem to give him? Hah! Hahaha! He was the Radio Demon for Hell’s sake! To let himself want? To let himself ache so pathetically for a smidge of attention? It was all so beneath him and maybe he could give himself a pass. Nothing had ever been so fun as the pursuit of something that made his mind tingle alight. Wasn’t that why he was down here instead of up there? When all that surrounded him was mediocrity and villainy, who could fault him for pursuing his few interests.

But where he was with Ynna, the pining, pathetic, weak, disorganized. Out of control. That was no longer interesting. A waste of time he could be using to further his influence.

He didn’t need her.

Click. POP!

Static crackled in his veins, angry and denied. A mass of whispers beckoned him for revenge, retribution, blood spilt from hapless sinners. For soft eyes filled with boundless affection. Fuck!

The power that rose with his bloodlust dissipated, as his mind unhelpfully provided reason after reason for why the goat could never leave his side. And he loathed it. Out of control, indeed.

“Hey chat, so many of you have been telling me to try this place out and man, looks like we got a long ass line. Fucking lameee. Chat, is this gonna be worth it?” An obnoxiously loud voice broke him out of the pit where his mind dwelled. A male sinner with a sharp voice spoke into a lapel microphone as he watched his phone. He had no regard for the others around him who inched away from his camera, rolling their eyes at the overly loud prattle. 

It was only then that he’d noticed the change in scenery, the evidence of his distraction adding more to his exasperation. No longer was he on a quiet road, void of all those who’d been too fearful of his presence, but rather, he found himself on a bustling street corner staring at a queue for a shop. Oh? Now what could that be? A quick scan through the crowd observed the line composed of mostly, what did Rosie call them again? Influencers. Yes. That’s the word. Their little sticks and tripods held phones and cameras recording some inane and uninspired commentary on what appeared to be—Oh? His brow raised in curiosity. The line was for the cafe with the rotten beignets.

“Radio Demon recommended? Ooohh are y’all for real? Skitzle, where’d you hear that from? Oh scootpoot43 thanks for the subs! Yeah? Happy birthday, I guess.” The clueless buffoon chattered on and on.

Recommended? A snort, undignified but befitting his current mood, made its way out of him. Since when had he thought this dump deserved any recognition other than to have it burned to the ground? Not to mention that there hadn’t been time to do a proper broadcast since, well…Brows drawn, his head swayed in an effort to shake those thoughts away. Really. Just how much of his recent memory did that woman occupy? When every corner and every street held the image of them in friendlier times. Even his last broadcast had been because of her. Agitation of a self-deprecating nature soared in his chest. He had to get a hold of himself, to remind his obsessive nature that there was more to his existence than whatever the goat could bear to swallow and keep.

Flitting his attention between sinners, he discreetly tried to catch some of their babble. It became clear that the cretin who’d been so graciously spared from his claws by his goat mistook their mercy for encouragement. He mentally sighed. This was why sinners needed to be put in their place. The ones who made it down here were usually of the scheming sort. Or stupid and violent. But using his name to gain recognition? Did that poor excuse for a manager take him so lightly or was he just that desperate to earn a profit? Either way, the disrespect would not be tolerated.

A few of those screen-obsessed eyes finally noticed the Overlord in their presence and their immediate screams of desperation to scram brought the rest of the oblivious herd to panic, clearing the queue in a matter of seconds. Ah. Something bubbled in the depths of his chest that brushed aside his ire, a familiar sense of sadistic glee that energized his nerves. It was always a pleasure to see the roaches scramble. 

Right. This was who he was, a terror not to be trifled with, an absolute power within this wretched city. The mere sight of him inspired fear and awe. Long before any of this nonsense of being eaten, the obsession for her companionship, the maddening whispers plaguing his chest when she’d not even bothered to glance his way. Long before any of that, he was the Radio Demon. Power thrummed within his veins, strumming giddy sensations within his body. Innocent bloodlust, untainted by his goat. This had nothing to do with her and it made the call for retribution that much more enticing. Yes. This had absolutely nothing to do with her.

Some braver souls kept recording though unfortunately for them, only blurred and glitching pixels would be their foolish reward.

The bell above the door chimed with the clack of his shoes punctuating his arrival. His grin widened as the red-shelled face paled at his entrance. For using his name without permission, he gladly thought to set the record straight.

[tuttle-4077]

2024 Papa Bear Awards Nominees

Sorry. I'm a little late posting these on tumblr (but not too late!). The Nominations are in and we've tallied them up. So hold onto your hats and give us a drumroll!

Best Short General/Comedy

A Deserved Gift (Guess Who) Cardinal Rose

A Time to Move On (Guess Who) Sierra Sutherwind

Exit, Pursued By A Bear pronker

Little April Showers (Guess Who) Fear-Of-The-Cold

Marya's Meta pronker

Sergeant 'Don't You Sass Me, Hogan' Wilson whatisthismandoinghere

Soundtrack to a Seance (Guess Who) Khebidecia

What to Do When You're in a Crunch (Guess Who) GrrraceUnderfire

Best Short Drama

Different Dangers by ami_ven

Graveyard Shift by she_elf4

How Long in this Hellhole? Captain Thunders

Spring Flowers (Guess Who) Tuttle4077

The Queue (Guess Who) Abracadebra

Unfair PicassoPenguin

War Is Heck Abracadebra

Well and Truly Got Cardinal Rose

Best Medium-Length General/Comedy

A Brother's Bond by PicassoPenguin

Autumn Winds by Fear-Of-The-Cold

Drop Bears by dust on the wind

Once Is Enough by Abracadebra

Operation Mother Hen by Tuttle4077

The 2023 Short Story Speed Writing Challenge: Bedside Manners by dust on the wind

The Mission Briefing 2023: Carter Writes a Letter by mrspencil

Yoga session by Deepbluethinking

Best Medium-Length Drama

Ashes by LightShiner14

Cracking the Vault by Sierra Sutherwind

Decoration Day by Abracadebra

Heroes by Sam Worth

In Too Deep by Crystal Rose of Pollux

Mama Bear by PicassoPenguin

Of Defectors and Strawberries by Hochstetter'sLady

The Majors Malaise by Vintronics

Words of a Wise Wilson by whatisthismandoinghere

Best Long Story

Card Games, Vampires, and A Very Late Letter by TheSailingRabbit

Hogan's Heroes: Will the Fake Colonel Hogan Please Drop Dead by Basketballgirl Kaitlin

Klink's Brother by Sam Worth

No Rest for the Weary by Frau Wilhem Klink

The Things I Do for This Bloody War Effort by Frau Wilhem Klink

The Winds of the World by Fear-Of-The-Cold

Uneasy Company by dust on the wind

Best Challenge General/Comedy

A Brother's Bond by PicassoPenguin

A Gathering of Friends Old and New by TheSailingRabbit

A Snippet by Captain Thunders

Gone Without a Trace: Uncovering the Truth behind the Missing Mug by Sierra Sutherwind

Klink's Brother by Sam Worth

No Rest for the Weary by Frau Wilhelm Klink

Once Is Enough by Abracadebra

Operation Mother Hen by Tuttle4077

The Murder That Never Happened by Khebidecia

The Pigeons Strike Back by TheSailingRabbit

Yoga session by Deepbluethinking

Best Challenge Drama

Cracking the Vault by Sierra Sutherwind

Focus by TheSailingRabbit

Heroes by Sam Worth

In Too Deep by Crystal Rose of Pollux

The Winds of the World by Fear-Of-The-Cold

Uneasy Company by dust on the wind

War Is Heck by Abracadebra

Best Story Based On an Episode

The Assassin by lonewolfette9846

The Well by lonewolfette9846

War Is Heck by Abracadebra

Heroes by Sam Worth

Decoration Day by Abracadebra

Drop Bears by dust on the wind

Best Crossover

Enfilade (xMarvel), by pronker

Support Operations (xCaptain America/Marvel Cinematic Universe), by ami_ven

The Abyss Raid (xRat Patrol), by TheSailingRabbit

The Daybreak Raid (xRat Patrol), by TheSailingRabbit

The Sheeps Clothing Raid (xRat Patrol) by graveyardnuggets

The Watchtower Raid (xRat Patrol), by TheSailingRabbit

[purplespacekitty]

Magnifying Glass: "The Outcast"

Episode: "The Outcast"

Series: Star Trek: The Next Generation

Season 5, Episode 17

Original Air Date: March 16, 1992

Screenwriter: Jeri Taylor

Director: Robert Scheerer

I feel like Star Trek as a fandom doesn’t really talk about this episode enough. I find this episode extremely fascinating and have a lot of thoughts about it, but I don’t want to subject anyone who isn’t willing to my (VERY LONG) ramblings, so please, keep reading at your own discretion.

First, a quick synopsis: an alien planet called J'naii enlists the Enterprise-D to help them find a lost shuttlecraft in their star system. First Officer Commander Riker is paired up with Soren, a member of the J'naii, to devise a rescue mission for this shuttlecraft and along the way, the two catch romantic feelings for one another. However, the J'naii are a majority androgynous, aromantic and asexual race and those who deviate from this norm are persecuted and forced to undergo a kind of conversion therapy to "cure" their "condition". Soren confides in Riker her feelings towards him and her identity as a woman, things she could not share with her own people for fear of the violence she has seen others like her face. Understanding the risks, the two pursue a relationship with one another, but eventually the other J'naii find out and Soren is put on trial, where she makes an impassioned speech to stand up for herself and others like her. After the trial, Riker tries to fight for Soren's right to seek asylum with the Federation, but his support and efforts are in vain. Unfortunately, by the end of the episode, Soren has been subjected to psychological treatment and no longer feels any attraction to Riker. The Enterprise leaves, having finished their business with the J'naii and Riker is left to pick up the pieces of his broken heart.

I could go on and on about the "bury your gays"/"queer and trans people must suffer" trope this episode and others like it within the franchise fall into (i.e. DS9's "Rejoined" and ENT's "Cogenitor"). And while I will be criticizing the casting and writing decisions this episode's creators made, I think it's important to recognize the ways in which this episode does achieve some level of success with Star Trek's most favored format for addressing social and political issues; allegorical storytelling. However, I will be dragging this episode before I compliment it, so bear with me.

I’ll be honest…I’m not super jazzed about the way they handled sexuality in this episode. The J’naii reproduce asexually and it is not socially acceptable to have sex or procreate sexually in J’naii society. Which is in an of itself mostly fine, except that the writers portray the agender, aromantic and asexual J’naii as largely dispassionate, cold and close-minded, unable to connect with each other or other beings in meaningful ways which, hey, right off the bat, not a great depiction of aspen folks. The J’naii are supposed to be an antithesis of (‘90s) Earth conventions of gender and sexuality, but in their creation as one of the very few sets of characters up until this point that are generally androgynous, aromantic and asexual, they fall in line with a kind of alienation not uncommon in Star Trek: ‘look at this species, they do things differently from the majority of humans! isn’t that neat? but it’s just unique to them, so what sets us apart from them must be what makes us fundamentally human’. Take Spock, Data, Seven of Nine and Odo for instance, all characters who on some level struggle with human/humanoid conceptions of sexuality and all characters who have a complicated relationship to humanity as they themselves are not (just) human. Each of them are generally received by human characters as cold, calculating and are purposely shown to have difficulty connecting with others intimately because they are not (just) human. The often-used trope is that if only they were human, they would understand what love is (queue Foreigner’s “I Wanna Know What Love Is”). This more broadly implies that romance and sex are essential to humanity and human intimacy, which they are not. Creating a species that is predominantly agender, aromantic and asexual and because of this, predominantly operates in this cold and stagnant way creates a monolith of aromantic and asexual people and ignores the complexities of the aromantic and asexual spectrums, especially against the backdrop of a central star-crossed lovers plot.

Riker's actor Jonathan Frakes insisted that it would have been more impactful to cast Soren with a male actor rather than a cisgender actress. Indeed, because this episode originally was made to challenge viewer attitudes towards homosexuality, such a decision surely would have shaken people’s foundations a bit more and would have actually better-achieved what the writers were going for. Maybe this episode would have been as beloved as “Rejoined” if it had featured Star Trek’s first kiss between two men. However, if they had had Soren still identify as a woman when played by a male actor, we would still have someone who does not live our stories telling our stories for us. A truly meaningful representation of trans people would have seen Soren cast with a trans actress. But as I mentioned, an allegory for trans people wasn’t really what the writers were going for and they probably didn’t see hiring actual trans people as a viable option in the first place. If you look on Memory Alpha, you will see that none of the writers in the room for “The Outcast” were trans or queer themselves. Jeri Taylor herself says that while she is not gay, she wanted to do this story because homosexuality is such a controversial issue and "as a woman [she does] consider [herself] in a particular minority; [she knows] what it feels like to be disenfranchised – not in that precise way – and [she] felt like [she] had a touchstone to some of the feelings that must be involved" (Captains' Logs: The Unauthorized Complete Trek Voyages, p. 240). I think it's admirable that she wanted to head a project like this and to give the issue a great deal more compassion than others would have in her place, but the fact still remains that she herself is not queer or trans, meaning that, again, people who do not live our stories and were mostly just fishing for clout were trying to tell our stories for us.

All this to say, I do think this episode has some things going for it that I would like to outline below. Because regardless of the casting decisions and the way the writers actually ended up handling conventions of gender and sexuality, functionally, Soren is a trans woman: she identifies as a gender different from the gender she was assigned at birth. And Riker falls for her and gives her his love with an open ease that Soren’s own people do not.

When I watched “The Outcast” for the first time, I hadn’t come out yet and I hadn’t even begun to delve into the world of my own gender or sexuality. So it wasn’t my trans awakening or anything, but it certainly is one of the things I ruminate on when I think back to, as we LGBTQIA+ people are wont to do, all the times when perhaps I could have realized it.

Yeah, I know this episode gives us just another of many Riker romances, but it is not at all flippant or without depth in the way it unfolds. The focal romance of this episode is part of what makes it all the more heartbreaking. Riker falls fast and hard for Soren in an era of American TV where trans characters were routinely played for laughs (I’m looking at you, Frasier). Popular cis male characters of the 1990s are vastly insecure about their masculinity and sexuality in interactions with trans people, particularly with trans women. If TNG teaches us nothing else, it certainly teaches us that Riker is admirably comfortable in both his masculinity and sexuality. Of course, Star Trek takes place lightyears ahead of the eras it’s filmed in. This episode was written in the 1990s and is therefore restrained in its exploration of gender by mainstream, Western ‘90s understandings of gender. But by the 24th century, humanity is supposed to have addressed and healed the wounds of its prejudices. So by the time the Enterprise sidles up to J’naii, humanity has had plenty of time to learn about and understand the multitudes of gender, not just in their own cultures but in those of other species (I’m thinking here of Star Trek’s tendency to favor Western cultural values over others). There are no mentions in this episode of the many genders that have been recognized by various Earth cultures throughout history and the writers did not anticipate the way in which gender identities and definitions have now been recovered and expanded, a process one might assume will only continue as we move forward.

"The Outcast" aired in 1992, when the term “nonbinary” had not yet made its way into mainstream English vernacular. But as pointed out above, it is not unaccompanied by other episodes in the franchise addressing gender politics: “The Offspring” showcases Data’s relationship to gender and his determination to let his android child decide their own gender; DS9 has an entire character whose gender and sexuality are fluid depending on their host and the symbiont Dax’s gender is never confirmed; the wormhole Prophets’ genders are never confirmed; there are many episodes in both TNG and DS9 which examine Ferengi gender politics; one episode shows us Sisko and Bashir excitedly discussing a male lieutenant’s pregnancy and upcoming baby shower; etc. However, while it's easy to argue that it would have been plausible for the human officers aboard Enterprise-D to easily grasp the concept of a species where androgyny is the norm, it is precisely the incongruity of a mainstream Western '90s understanding of gender paired with the supposed utopian Earth of the 24th century that makes this episode resonate with me (as I'm sure it has with others) in particular. Science fiction is more about the past than the future, after all. “The Outcast” approaches genderqueerness and pronouns with the compassion and curiosity expected of Starfleet. And because of this, we get to see multiple characters grow in this episode, particularly Riker and Worf, both of whom initially struggle with the idea of gender neutrality.

Now, getting into the romantic plot. Riker’s love for Soren is unconditional, a hopeful light in the face of two different worlds (Earth from our side of the screen and J’naii from the other) that constantly deny trans people our right to exist, which paint us as sick, demented, perverted, monstrous and disgusting. When Soren confides in Riker about her identity, he is not deterred. He is curious and kind, glad to have been shown this part of her truth, even as he struggles to understand J’naii’s general attitude towards gender. Furthermore, there are no reservations on Riker’s part about Soren’s appearance. Although Soren is played by a cisgender actress, binarism in our society pressures many trans people to transition medically in a way that Soren has not, an issue that is of no concern to Riker who is simply in love with her as she is. Which is cool, considering that the majority of Riker’s romantic interests are hyper-feminine. What this shows us is that Riker is not so shallow as to be concerned solely with a person’s appearance when it comes to who he's attracted to and does not so deeply equate gender presentation with gender identity that he is unable to see Soren as the woman she is. He is already attracted to Soren before she confides her gender identity to him.

Soren does not mention anyone who has felt similar feelings for her or for whom she has felt similar feelings and explains that the concept of gender is highly “offensive” to the J’naii. She has spent the majority of her life in fear of her truth being exposed, but in Riker’s company, feels safe to share it with him as he is an outsider who has shown an honest interest in learning. He comes to understand her in a way that she has not been allowed to let others understand her before, in a way that has not been safe before, which is the door that opens them both to their care and love for one another. Though we don’t get to see them learn all that much about each other personally, they do learn that they share an interest in exobotany and get to spent some truly heart-melting moments together.

Back on the Enterprise, Riker has a significant conversation with Deanna about Soren, expressing his deep love for her and letting Deanna know that he wants to continue to pursue a relationship with Soren. Again, this demonstrates that Riker is not only head over heels for Soren but also that he is secure in his masculinity and sexuality, nowhere near ashamed of the feelings he feels for Soren, but simply concerned for the stability of his friendship with his ex. We love a respectful, communicative guy.

We don’t get to see Soren express her feelings for Riker or any potential shame she might harbor about them to anyone but him, which we know would lead to her persecution if she tried to share it with another J’naii. Which leads us to the end of this episode.

The tragedy, of course, is that the other J’naii do find out and do not respond with compassion or respect. Even after Soren has given everything to valiantly make her case, to stand up for herself and others who share her experiences of gender-based oppression, Riker and Worf return to J’naii one last time to rescue her only to find out that they are too late; Soren has already been forced to undergo psychotectic treatment (i.e. conversion therapy). Riker makes one last desperate attempt to get Soren to recall her true self but…she doesn’t. She can’t. And that clipped connection, that final tear in the string that bound them together in an inextricable truth, is what haunts Riker as Ensign Gates takes the Enterprise-D out of J’naii’s orbit.

Obviously, I would have loved to see Riker and Worf succeed in their rescue attempt, have our intrepid heroes break the Prime Directive to save Soren and help forge the first steps to liberating the trans people of J’naii. Unfortunately, for this episode to work, for it to resonate with its viewers as a meaningful commentary on the way our society treats queer and trans people, the screenwriters obviously felt that the tragedy of losing Soren in the end would garner more sympathy. We see a similar take with episodes like DS9's aforementioned “Rejoined”, where Jadzia Dax’s resolve to live the rest of her life with Lenara Kahn is ultimately in vain. She can only watch helplessly from the balcony above the Promenade as Kahn leaves, having chosen instead to favor the life of her symbiont and its future hosts over spending what time she can with the love of her life. Homophobia and transphobia tear people apart - real, living, breathing, loving, caring people. To deny someone their right to stand in their own truth is to deny them their existence. The screenwriters for “The Outcast” made the conscious decision to have us witness this violence, to make us sit with it and understand that Soren's experience represents the real experiences of real people. That the violence committed against queer and trans people harms both them and those who love them. Because Soren was loved. Is loved. She was held and shown a humility she for so long had no access to. And for a brief moment, she felt that love.

Absolutely, this episode could have been done better and I really, really wish they had hired actual trans people to tell Soren’s story or at least cast an actual trans actress to play her. But I do think there is something to be said for the episode’s fundamental, albeit accidental message which is that trans people are not broken or sick in the head. We are whole, vibrant beings entirely deserving of love, respect, support, happiness, care and, above all, life.

[samsunconsultants]

THE REASON : "A HUGE QUEUE ALMOST 3000 ENGINEERS GATHERED FOR INTERVIEW"

As per the google analytics, approximately over 1 Million students graduate every year in India. And the number gets increases day by day. Recent news showed over 3000 ENGINEERS went to a Walk-in-Interview in Pune. God knows how many got selected, how much time they had to wait over there. Under what circumstances they reached there, what salary package they got (who were selected).

What is the reason behind the HUGE CROWD? As per the number of Graduates every year. Not all of them opt for Post-Graduation, therefore they do require jobs. Now when any Organization comes for Campus-Placements. Let's take an example of any ABC Organization which is a Manufacturing Industry. They are looking for Engineers, IT Workers or Developers or Backend - Frontend employees. Now let's say maximum number of openings they do have is 7 including all the departments and requirements. And the number of Graduates/Post Graduates/Under Graduates (who are pursuing in final year) And in most of the cases now days students from other campuses (In the case of JOINT CAMPUS PLACEMENT DRIVES), the total of these students ends to approximately 300 and the vacancies were 7 (Which is only 2.33% of total students applied for same organization). Now who is responsible for this mess? This HUGE CROWD? • College? NO. Why? Because college needs to place their students so they will conduct drives and the interviews in their college and will surely make those Placement Drives compulsory for students.

• Organizations? NO. Why? Because Organizations have come from far away and they are spending their time, therefore they are looking for best and they cannot bear the risk of choosing 7 students just from 50. Because they are not sure if they can get talent in this number which they are looking for?

Then who is the real culprit here?

The reason behind this mess is LACK OF AWARENESS in students. Who are just depending for their career on everything. They have hope for their jobs in College, they have hope for career in their parents, they have hope for their company for long term in their friends. Poor Students, they don't even know Colleges can help students to appear in some of the best organization's interview's but they need to give their best by their own. They don't know their parents somehow can pay their fees but they are not able to choose a path for their career. As there is a huge generation gap and they don't know what is in Trend nowadays. They don't know that friends can be their families, lifetime buddies but can never stay their colleagues forever. They cannot do job with their friends at same place for long time.

So this is the main reason of HUGE CROWDS in Interviews nowadays. As students are not aware of Who they are? What they want? They don't even know Why they are going to give the Interview.

ASK

[immigrationvisaservices]

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[chekovs-merkin]

do y’all ever think dissolving the bond with t’pring was to spock that one thing you know you must do, and you know you’ll feel better after doing, but the doing is so disagreeable to you and you feel so much anxiety about doing it that you just keep putting it off, but the more you put it off the more anxious you become, so eventually you decide it’s too late, pretend you and everyone else forgot, and then the consequences of your inaction eventually come back to bite you in the ass?

[dearcat1]

(Effort)

Part 5 of Feral Home

Ichigo might have made a mistake. 

In his defense, the chocolate looked delicious and it tasted even better than it looked. But taking the chocolate that one time seems to have encouraged this Xanxus guy. Ichigo snorts, putting the flowers away from his desk so he can get enough space for his homework. He's not throwing them away because it's a waste, it has nothing to do with Ichigo feeling slightly flattered about somebody trying so hard to get his attention. That's his story and he's sticking with it. It's not that Ichigo is blind to the way people look at him sometimes, from Inoue to Rukia and sometimes even Renji. It's just that there has never been the opportunity for Ichigo to do anything about it. Or at least nothing more than a quick exploration after a spar or dirty, murmured words in the middle of training. 

So no, Ichigo isn't blind. He isn't disinterested either. He's just never been pursued this way and Ichigo is both flattered and offended. Xanxus keeps showing up after school, with flowers or chocolates or plushies. Ichigo takes some, leaves others. He's seen Inoue notice and a small part of him wanted her to put up a fight. Either tell him her feelings outright or try to give him a bento. Talk to him. Something. She didn't and Ichigo won't lie to himself and deny it didn't hurt. He thought he was worth more than this to her. Xanxus, though. Ichigo likes the effort, the consistency. He likes it even more when he realizes that Xanxus is paying, he responds to the queues Ichigo gives him. It's interesting and some of those things are the kind nobody in their right mind would give Ichigo and just for that, Ichigo loves them. 

As of today, Ichigo is the proud owner of three giant sized teddy bears. One of them is about as big as he is. Kon has been forbidden from coming anywhere near them. Isshin has been quiet about it, there's no way he hasn't noticed the ridiculous amount of gifts Ichigo comes home with. The flowers lining up the driveway each morning. Ichigo has even caught him staring at some of Ichigo's new things with puzzlement on his face. Karin is almost foaming at the mouth, trying to figure out what's going on. Ichigo could tell her but since she's been scurrying into Kisuke's shop behind his back after that talk about honesty… well, Ichigo isn't willing to play nice. It's safe enough anyway. 

In short, Ichigo isn't against this courtship thing. Even if he doesn't really know what this courtship is going to lead to. He's against being treated like a civilian when he's a freaking war veteran. So when he wakes up the next day to more flowers in his driveway, Ichigo nods to himself and stalks back in. He might not have Zangetsu anymore (and doesn't that thought ache deep in his bones) but he's not helpless. And if he still takes the time to bring the flowers inside, put them beside his bed… nobody needs to know. The second time he walks out of his house, Ichigo has a sword on his shoulder and anticipation in his heart. "Oi!" He flags the first mook he finds, Ichigo has no idea who told them they are good at hiding. Whoever did, lied to them. "You! Come here."

Poor dude looks nervous but he straightens his uniform and walks up to Ichigo. "Yes, sir?"

"Take me to Xanxus." 

"Oh." His partner perks up. "We'll let the boss know to come…"

But Ichigo snaps the phone out of his hands. "No, you won't." He stares them down. "You'll take me to him and you won't tell him I'm coming." Because Ichigo is ready to admit he's interested but he sure as hell won't be underestimated in the process. Xanxus will either take Ichigo with all that Ichigo is or he won't take any part of him. This last fiasco taught Ichigo enough to know better than to settle for anything less.

"Yes, sir!" 

For his own sanity, Ichigo is ignoring the stars in these guys' eyes.

[mymoonagedaydream]

Home (Part 1)

Summary: Two years ago, you’d left behind your hometown and the love of your life to pursue your dream career, but returning for Christmas really made you start to second-guess that decision.

Pairing: Bucky x y/n

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Language

Author’s Note: A Christmassy one for ya’ll! This story is inspired by the requests above from @shawnie--jo, thank you for those and for the inspo! I couldn’t fit everything into a oneshot, so this may end up being three or four parts.

---

You stuffed your bag into the overhead locker and collapsed into your seat, completely exhausted.

Some chaos was to be expected when travelling so close to Christmas, but still, you really could've done without the three hour check-in queues and the chorus of screaming babies.

Leaning back in your chair and pulling on your headphones, you squeezed your eyes shut and just tried to think about all the things that would make this journey worth it, all the things you’d missed about Christmas with your parents.

The excitement on their faces as they greet you at the airport, your mother’s incredible home-cooking, your father’s insistence on playing charades three or more times a day. It was your first time visiting home since moving away two years ago, and you wanted the whole cosy, corny nine yards.

There was just one teensy little caveat to your relaxing family holiday- two years away from home meant two years since you'd seen Bucky.

You were childhood sweethearts, head over heels in love with each other for as long as you could remember and best friends for even longer. When you were offered a job across the country, you wanted so much for him to move with you, but he’d already promised his father that he’d take over the family car-repair business. 

It was the most difficult decision of your life, but eventually the two of you agreed there was no choice but to separate. 

Being away from him tore you apart for the first few months, but now you'd finally gotten back on your feet, and you were ready to come face to face with your past again.

Or so you thought.

---

Your parents pulled you into a tight bear-hug as soon as you walked through arrivals, taking your bags, talking your ear off and quickly ushering you to the car.

Amongst all the excited babbling, you just about managed to discern that they’d planned a welcome home party for you that night with half the neighbourhood, an announcement which triggered a mix of dread and excitement to begin churning in your stomach.

You were looking forward to seeing your oldest friend again, you just hoped to god that things wouldn’t be weird or awkward between the two of you.

After a short drive, the car pulled up outside your childhood home. Just seeing it from the outside made you feel all warm and cosy but, as soon as you glanced through the door, those feelings were amplified off the charts. 

The place looked incredible. Your mother had obviously put so much effort into making it look cosy and festive, you even felt yourself tearing up a little when you stepped inside. It was so elaborate, you had half a mind to interrogate her about a possible Christmas with the Kranks scenario going down prior to your arrival, but you decided it was probably best to just keep your mouth shut.

After you’d looked around properly and unpacked, it was only a matter of hours before the first guests started arriving.

You downed two beers to loosen yourself up a little. Each time the bell went, your eyes snapped towards the door, the sound making your heart leap out of your chest. It felt like you were waiting to find out whether that hard mass in the bottom of your stocking was a big-ass diamond or a lump of coal. 

When Bucky finally appeared in the doorway, your jaw almost hit the shag carpet. The last two years had been unreasonably good to him, he looked like James Dean but somehow even more buff. 

The boy you'd left behind had become a man in your absence and sweet Jesus it was really making you feel some kind of way. 

His eyes were frantically scanning the room but he hadn't spotted you yet, so you took the opportunity to sneak up behind him and tap him on the shoulder.

‘Hey, stranger.’

He swivelled round, his eyes lighting up when they met yours. Before he said a word, you were pulled into a tight hug, audibly gasping when you were lifted clean off the ground.

‘Where the hell you been, Lilypad?’

You burst out laughing, remembering falling into a pond on your seventh birthday and him never, ever letting you live down. A wave of happy memories flooded your mind, making you smile widely as he set you down.

‘Still the same old Yucky.’

‘Hey, we agreed you wouldn't call me that anymore.’

‘I'll stop calling you Yucky when you stop calling me Lilypad.’

The corners of his mouth curled into a mischievous smirk. ‘Never.’

And just like that, it felt as though you'd never left.

You were excited to be with your old friend again, you were happy that there seemed to be no awkwardness between the two of you, and you were really doing your very best to suppress all the other intense feelings that had surfaced as soon as he’d walked through the door.

‘Come on, I'll get you a drink.’ You grabbed his arm and dragged him through to the kitchen, rummaging around in the fridge while he leant against the counter next to you. ‘Are you still working for your dad?’

‘Yep. He's hoping to retire in the next few years, so I'll finally be taking over.’

‘That's so great, you're pretty much set for life with that place.’

He nodded faintly, burying his hands in his pockets and flicking his gaze down to the floor. ‘So how, uh- how long are you back for?’

‘I'm flying back early on the 31st.’

‘You’re not even staying for New Year?’ The hint of disappointment in his voice made you immediately stop what you were doing and look over to him, his face going a little red as he shifted around awkwardly. ‘Ah, I bet you got loads of invites to big, crazy city parties.’

‘If you call staring at a computer screen until 3am and slowly spiralling into madness a party.’

You passed him a beer, his eyes staying fixed on the bottle as he mumbled. ‘All the work will be worth it one day though, right?’

‘I hope so.’

Your eyes locked, a heavy silence falling between you. This was exactly the kind of uncomfortable atmosphere you were dreading.

Panicking a little, you vaguely gestured towards the living room. ‘I should probably, y’know, mingle.’

‘Sure. I'll find you later though Lilypad, we gotta catch up some more.’

You gave him a warm smile and nodded, turning away and disappearing into the crowd.

The next couple of hours seemed to blur together. You made meaningless small-talk with people you barely knew, all the time just thinking about Bucky, about how quickly things had gone from fun and light-hearted to incredibly tense.

You just hoped you could get things back on a good track before you had to leave, losing him completely was the very last thing you wanted.  

Shuffling into the kitchen to grab yourself another drink, you noticed him duck out the back door. He must've hit his socialisation limit. The two of you used to reach that point around the same time at parties, so you'd slink out together and share a cheap cigarette.

Abandoning your freshly opened beer on the counter, you followed him out, finding him tucked away around the side of the house.

‘Right on time.’

His head snapped towards you, the cigarette almost falling from his mouth as he shot you a wide smile. ‘Am I that predictable?’

‘I just know you too well.’

You leant against the wall next to him, hugging your arms tight as you felt yourself start to shiver, cause you were the kind of idiot that went outside in December wearing short-sleeves. Bucky noticed straight away, letting out a gruff chuckle as he shrugged his jacket off his shoulders and wrapped it round you.

‘That cushy city life has made you soft.’ He rubbed your arms a little, trying to warm you up, before eventually bringing his hands to rest on your shoulders and fixing his gaze to yours. ‘I'm really glad you're here, Lilypad. I've missed you.’

‘I've missed you too, Buck. I've missed a lot of things about this place.’

‘So why don’t you stay longer?’

‘Believe me, I was lucky to get this much time off.’

His eyes narrowed slightly, a concerned frown spreading over his face as he folded his arms across his chest. ‘Is everything alright? I haven't heard much about this job but so far it's pretty much been all negative.’

‘Oh, I do love it, honestly I-’

‘Why would you even try lying to me? You know I can always tell.’

You couldn’t help cracking a slight smile at his smug expression. He was right, the last time you’d managed to successfully lie to him was in first grade when you told him you didn’t know where his crayon sharpener had gone, knowing full well it was stashed in your pocket.

‘It's just a lot.’ You rubbed your forehead exasperatedly. ‘Apart from the few hours of sleep I get each night, I'm pretty much constantly working. You asked earlier if it was worth it and, to be honest, I really don’t know.’

He nodded faintly, dropping his cigarette and crushing it under his foot, before opening his arms towards you.

‘C'mere.’

You didn't hesitate. Launching yourself towards him, you let him enclose you, squeezing your eyes shut and wrapping your arms around his neck.

‘You'll figure it out.’ He mumbled into your neck. ‘You always do.’

‘Thank you, Buck.’

After a minute or so, you both pulled away slightly, stopping when you came face to face. A lot of things about home had slipped your mind whilst you’d been away, but you’d never forgotten how gazing into Bucky’s piercing blue eyes made you feel. 

That feeling had never changed, and you were sure it never would.

You dropped your hands to rest on his shoulders, your eyebrows shooting up when you noticed how rock-hard they were. ‘Jesus, Buck. I’ve only been gone for two years, have you been at the gym that whole time?’

‘Nope, just been working hard at the garage.’ What absolute bullshit. ‘But feel free to keep the compliments coming.’

You smirked and feebly shoved him away, turning to head back inside but stopping suddenly before taking a step. ‘Oh, you better pick that cigarette butt up or my mom will go ape shit.’

‘Good call.’

You slipped through the back door, passing his jacket back when he followed you in. The two of you couldn’t have been out there for more than a few minutes, but it seemed as though the crowd inside had really started thinning out.

Bucky’s parents strolled over when they spotted him, informing him of their intent to leave pretty soon too, so he gave you a long hug goodbye and made you promise that you'd see each other again before the end of the holidays.

The two of you had parted on a good note, which was all you’d wanted going into the party, but now you found that you were pretty keen to squeeze as many more good notes out of these next few days as you could. 

It was probably best not to delve too deeply into the feelings behind that sentiment. So you didn’t. 

You helped your parents tidy up, your eyelids drooping as the exhaustion from a long day of travelling and socialising finally set in. Just as you were about to head upstairs, your mother piped up, using her expertly crafted trying to appear casual despite being really very invested in what I’m asking tone.

‘It must've been nice seeing Bucky again.’

‘Oh yeah, definitely.’

‘He must've changed quite a bit since you were here last.’

You chuckled to yourself. ‘Physically, yeah, but he's still the same goofy dumbass he's always been.’

‘It's always a treat when he pops round, he's such a nice boy.’ A suspicious eyebrow crept up your forehead. ‘And he's still single y'know, he hasn't-’

‘Alright. That's my cue to go to bed.’

Your dad strolled over and gave you a firm pat on the back. ‘Good idea, sweetheart. Get out while you still can.’

‘Thank you. It's nice having one sane parent.’

‘Although, I do have to say, he has been very good to us since-’

‘Dad!’ He raised his arms in surrender, using one hand to zip up his mouth. ‘Lord help me. Goodnight, crazies.’

You quickly escaped up the stairs. Stumbling into your room and pulling on your pyjamas, you collapsed onto your bed, burying your face in the pillows and letting out a long, exhausted sign.

As you drifted off to sleep, all the stress of the day melted away, leaving a single thought to echo around your mind.

You’d really overestimated how over Bucky you were.

---

Part 2

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Permanent Taglist: @nnuree @tcc-gizmachine​ @somewhatasoftbaddie @emmabarnes  @juenenfeu @linkpk88 @ddowii 

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---

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Shinkai Hana no Shou Harada After Story Translation

This is my first post of the month, so I’ll start by asking you to please support me if you can through my ko-fi, and paypal or patreon which provides access to my hakuoki blog translations and early access to my postings. Also, please let me know if you have any hakuoki drama cds that you’d be willing to share that are on my Lookout List since i either do not have audio for those cds or do not have audio that I can share.... and if you are able to remove watermarks from a video, please contact me.  

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i don’t really play rhythmic music games... but i gotta say, Deemo Reborn was amazing. my heart is feeling very hurt right now. highly recommend it. 

Anyway, this is my translation of the Harada story from the Hakuoki Shinkai Hana no Shou Stellaworth pre-order bonus booklet「薄桜鬼 真改 華ノ章」ステラワース早期予約特典 小冊子 (....I should really make the Japanese on these particular posts of mine uniform), which was translated from Chinese as always.

Kinda sad that it’s taken me so long to get to finishing these when I consider how the very first translation on my tumblr was for the Saito story and when i posted that... ahahahaaaaa...... lol. *facepalm.* 

Now that this is done, that just leaves the stories for Souji and Heisuke (of which i have now queued) since I don’t have translations of the after stories for Shinpachi, Sanan, Souma, Iba, and Sakamoto (have scans for them should anyone want to translate them or commission someone else to translate them). 

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Hakuoki Shinkai: Hana no Shou Stellaworth Pre-order Bonus Booklet After Story - Harada Sanosuke

Translation by KumoriYami

The boundless sky and horizon——

The war between the old Shogunate's forces and the New Government Army, and the fighting between humans and oni, had nothing to do with the country on the other side of the sea.  And it was in that place, a [certain] man and woman were [now] living.  

The man's name was Harada Sanosuke, former Tenth Division Captain of the Shinsengumi. While the woman in love with him was the young female oni who had decided to leave Japan with him, Yukimura Chizuru.

After Harada finished his daily firewood delivery, he rode back towards his beloved at home. Ever since coming here, his riding skills have improved by a lot.

After leading the horse back to the stable, he opened the door of this house, which looked a bit lonely in this cold weather.

"Yo, Chizuru, I'm back."

Chizuru, who was leaning over from where she was sitting down in a chair and mending clothes, lifted her head with a smile.

"Welcome back, Sanosuke-san. How was it outside?"

"It's still the same. Although I've been mentally prepared for a while, the coldness of winter here really can't match the degree of coldness in Kyoto."

As Harada spoke, he curtly sat down on his chair. The old chair looked as if it were to collapse at any moment, and made a creaking sound.

"But, it's thankfully very warm at home, right?"

Although it was difficult living in a foreign country where there was a language barrier, Chizuru wasn't the slightest bit dissatisfied, and was still smiling from ear to ear as she responded to his words.

Her appearance made him feel that he would never be able to fully express how thankful he was. Harada, who always felt a little ashamed about this, lightly tousled his hair.

"Nn...... indeed.”

Chizuru who finally finished mending the clothes, then quietly stood up.

"Please wait a bit. I'll go make you some tea."

"No need,  I'll go make the tea, you go and rest.”

"But...…"

"Your body isn't just your own, so don't force yourself...… alright?”

The tone of his voice was slightly more forceful, which was why she sat back down into her chair again.

"Since that's the case, I'll leave it to you. Sanosuke-san.”

"Yosh! Just look forward to it, and watch me make you a delicious cup  of tea.”

After, he tried copying the way that Chizuru made tea——.

"......Ah, sorry, I wanted to make tea like how you usually do.”

The tea that Harada made, was one that someone would have a difficult time calmly drinking. Having seen that, Chizuru made a new cup for him, which tasted quite good. The same tea leaves were obviously used, yet there was such a difference in the taste, and upon seeing this, Harada felt incredulous.

"Please don't worry about it. I'm already thankful for your intentions.”

"...…That so."

Truly, what a kind woman. once again Harada confirmed how kind she was.

When he was thinking about coming to this foreign country, she didn't utter a single complaint, and followed him in silence. Although this method was used to hide her from the oni clans that were pursuing her——.

(If she was born as a human, she wouldn't have had to bear such difficulties.)

Although he felt that Chizuru who had ended up with the Shinsengumi because of various reasons, it was why he tried helping her as much as possible, but it was in that period of time, that he found himself unable to look away from her. He didn't know when it started, but he felt that he was the only one to protect her.

(......No, she was no longer alone.)

As Harada thought this, he stood back up.

"Sanosuke-san?"

After she doubtfully called his name, Harada went over to Chizuru's side, bent his knees slightly, and then placed his hand on her lower abdomen, where a new life was.

"Ah......"

Gently caressing this small and growing life, his heart was brimming with warmth.

(I never thought that I would have a family.)

Because of his rough personality, his hometown wasn't able to handle him, and all sorts of commotions occurred whenever he went somewhere, which was why he cut ties to the place he was born.

(Originally, I thought that I'd be a man who would live like a stray dog, then die alone.....)

He never thought that he would be able to find someone to fall in love with, the chance to start a family, or even have children.

As he gently caressed her now swelling lower abdomen, he worriedly asked a question.

"How's your body doing? I heard that you had a fever a while ago."

"I'm all right, the people nearby have given me plenty of advice."

"What about the language? Were you able to understand it?"

"I've been able to understand a bit more of it recently. Otherwise things will be expressed using body movements and pen and ink/writing.

"...…So it was like that."

Chizuru then placed her hand against Harada's. The soft heartbeat and his warmth were both able to reach her palm.

"Hey, Chizuru."

Hearing the way his voice called out, Chizuru tilted her head.

"As long as I have you and this guy, I don't need anything else. Not even life."

Those were his honest feelings, but the moment he said this, Chizuru's expression became very serious.

"Even if that's a joke, please don't say that. If Sanosuke-san dies, this child and I will not survive.”

He already anticipated Chizuru saying this, but——

"I'm not joking. Ever since I met you, and since we've become husband and wife...…. for the first time, I know that there are things in this world that are more important than my own life and ambitions.”

His words made her blush.

"This...…"

Just from looking at her expression, it was obvious that she thought he was being too serious, but Harada truly felt that what he wasn't an exaggeration. No, if only words were used to convey his inner thoughts, perhaps not even half of them would be conveyed.

Harada lovingly brushed Chizuru's hair which drooped to her shoulders, then spoke.

"Don't worry.  I didn't plan to leave you and this guy to die behind. Even if it looks like that, I'm very confident about how I never give up in life."

"..….I believe you."

In response to his trust, she showed a smile that was brimming with confidence. Seeing her like this, Harada involuntarily smiled back.

---End---

for some reason, i translated track 5 of something... now done track 5 and 6 (of 6) for that drama lol. 

unfortunately, i only got half-way through june for my queue... ugh dammit. still that’s a decent start i suppose tho last week was my last “allowance” time for translating since i anticipate getting a lot busier now... [btw, the 4th ginsei no shou chapter for Saito is at 40% and will be at that completion level for a looong while. will need to have my queue reach november before i can earnestly focus on that game again]... also,  i’m going to assume that with school, most of my game translation videos will take longer to get done (dramas are fairly easy since timing isn’t difficult to set as there’s no text that i need to worry about).

on the plus side though, the yuugiroku dramas are now being moved via cmd...  though for some reason, i can’t see half the on-screen text in the programs i use right now... including notepad, which i use for subtitles, and nimble writer, which is the program i use to write i’ve saved my translations in... and i can’t even view my files properly cuz i can’t see any of the folders or file names...

[wistfulrat]

I follow you because I'm obsessed with the way you summarize and analyze fics :) As for a question... what's a career you aren't pursuing, but gave a lot of thought to?

i- first of all u literally wrote one of my fave pieces of writing i read this year so joT THAT DOWN. no rly thank u that’s so kind ��💛

as for careers i gave lots of thought to but otherwise yeeted:

1) marine biologist skkdkf no lisTEN all the way up until my senior yr of high school when i had to declare my major during college app szn my dumbass who has never enjoyed the technical/mathematical side of science rly thought i was going to be the next Jacques Cousteau but based in guam / palau. then my English teacher was like “siobhon sweetie u hate science u don’t want to be Coustea u want to wax poetic about dolphins and maybe become a documentarian so consider....comms or film studies or writing...”

2) yea i def became an english major instead WHICH. queue post-college delusions of grandeur where i thought “hmm...she’s gonna be a Journalist!! or something of the sort..a writer paid for their thoughts” ....turns out I hate being told what to write and decided I’d rather die than try to monetize this skill/passion/hobby?? ultimately became a teacher bc I actually like working with kids and being paid to talk about literature but in a way that Won’t make kids want to gouge their eyes out mid-Odyssey

so... here we are!! thank u for this ask p.s. i still think about that lighthouse scene in Unseen all the time and I’ve probably definitely told u this but it bears (bares??) repeating!!

hope ur having the best holiday szn xoxo