#queer perspective

[catfish1965]

[leandrocrossard]

something really cool happened today that i wanted to share:

my nephew is 9 years old, and a stereotypical little boy. he likes dinosaurs, minecraft, and ninjas.

today i walked in on him excitedly watching Nimona with my dad. (minor spoiler warning!)

i had never heard of it, but i sat down and watched some of it, just to see why he was so happy.

he started narrating it, anticipating parts of it, almost as if he’d seen it before. he had.

we didn’t get to finish it, but i watched it on my own, because it looked fun and i wanted to see how it ended.

and i loved it. it was a fun, exciting, fantastical adventure about the importance of acceptance people who are different to us.

and it had a very clear queer subplot.

one that my nephew hadn’t mentioned at all in his explanation of the film. his summary was “it’s about a monster who helps a knight that was framed for killing the queen”.

and honestly yeah, that is what the film was about.

before sharing it with us, he had watched it all, engrossed himself in the story, took it in entirely, and the part he cared about most was whether Nimona got her acceptance. he wasn’t indoctrinated, or confused, or questioning anything about himself.

he didn’t bat an eyelid over a gay love confession. he just enjoyed the film, raved about it, made my 60 year old dad watch the movie about the monster who didn’t fit in.

he’s still the same little boy who’s been asking us how to get a girlfriend.

the only thing a movie centred around queer and queer-coded characters taught my nephew was that those who are different to him are not monsters. that’s it.

and that dragons are really cool.

[littlemistermedly]

So, speaking from experience as a SA victim, there is fully two aspects that I've come to find about my own sexuality that I could totally see applying to Astarion as well. Is this me projecting? Highly likely. Am I still going to enjoy the headcanon: hell yes.

Also to note: not every SA victim is going to respond the same way, so this is in no way to generalize things. This is just my perspective on what I could see being a truth for Astarion and how he may develop his relationship with his sexuality.

I have found that being a dom can be a very good position to be in as a SA victim, as it allows you to have control over the situation and call the shots: perfect for when you are still learning things about your relationship with sex and what you like and don't like (as well as what you are ready for and not ready for yet).

Having said that: I have found this is more true for casual sex, rather than more committed sex.

I know for me, having more intimate, committed sex with someone shows that I have a certain level of trust in them, as the sex is much more personal and an expression of my love. I have also come to find that certain types of kinks are actually more appealing because they specifically play off of the level of trust, such as BDSM. Because the basis of all BDSM is being able to have trust in your partner to pay attention to one another's needs, it is a much more appealing kink environment than usual vanilla sex can be.

(this also could be due to the relationship that I -as a gay trans man- unfortunately end up having with more vanilla sex being too....limiting? Restrictive? And the association of ifnwith Heteronormative Expectations and such).

Therefore, seeing from evidence in game of Astsrion being enthusiastic and excited to explore and try out different things with his relationship with sex (even if he didn't end up being ready for it in the end despite wanting to be ready), I could see him being the kind of person who likely doms in the beginning of a relationship, before overtime coming to desire to bottom and be taken care of in that manner.

Being a dom is a lot of work, and I could see how he may hesitate in certain aspects of it (specifically Aftercare being something he would have a bit of fumbling trouble with initially; I could see him picking it up quickly as well, considering his abilities to comfort in a Good Route Dark Urge run).

But yes, these are my thoughts, and hopefully I haven't bored anyone too much xD and hopefully this makes sense (I have just woken up, and y brain is still trying to remember how to function as a human being xDDD)

I feel like yall are not considering that Astarion, given the right communication and if he wanted to do it which he very likely could. He could pull out that dom vampire stuff as a spawn if he and Tav talked about it and Tav was interested in it. Like I get we all love and protect him but also there is no shame in liking that kind of dynamic and it's not like he's going to kink shame you, man watches you get tortured by a priest and likes it. (I think more so cause it's kind of funny but I digress) Like I know he's still discovering himself but I think he could do it.

[growmydarling]

[captainlordauditor]

The thing about MCU Bucky is that he was an unmarried 26 year old man living with another man in a culture where it was the norm to marry at 18. Bucky spent a decade continuously choosing Steve over a normative life. He was only stopped from continuing to live this way because he was drafted into WW2.

Like. That's kind of gay even if Bucky was heterosexual

[forkaround]

bring capitalism into the equation, and we're getting the fetishization of gay relationships

Genuine Question: How does capitalism play a role here? I can't imagine BLs make so much money that this would be an actual problem? Artists need to live, eat, sleep and need to invest in the tool of their trade, so can capitalism really play a significant role outside of keeping people alive?

In Kabe Koji for instance, the lead is a successful bl manga artist and he doesn't seem to be well off. And it's not like BLs are in any way high quality stuff. Even GMMTV, the oldest and largest player in BL don't seem to have so much money that it can count as something even close to exploitative. Kinnporsche only had the money it did because of Mile and even they nearly went bankrupt.

I don't think BL/yaoi/y-novels are the kind of genre that makes a lot of money and that means people who write these stories are doing so because they love them. Should we really gatekeep that?

bl is a capitalist venture that oftentimes perpetuates harmful stereotypes

(Boy India would eat you alive.) BL as we know today is a pretty young genre. And there are growing pains to everything. No one gets everything right off the bat and that's okay. Allowing people to grow is the important bit. I'll say this as a queer Asian, BL isn't anything different than most romance movies and shows. The problematic things most westerners site exist in Het romances as well. They are working with that frame of reference and that might seem like a Thing to westerners but for us it's one and the same. Not to say it's okay but this is about putting things into perspective. The BLs are mostly emulating Het romances with boys. Of course this isn't always the case and is less and less so lately but that's where it started because unlike say the US, a regular person doesn't really have a frame of reference for what is culturally queer in their own country given all the homophobia. Like in India, you go to Mumbai, you have a gay night life and even then you have to know someone to know where and when. I'm not from Mumbai, I'm from a Tier 2 city in Gujarat. I've never in my life heard about gay stuff. Which also means I have no frame of reference for what is considered culturally queer in India. Again, just putting things into perspective. Homophobia runs our lives and narratives in ways I don't think westerners really understand. Which might be another place this discourse comes from. India won it's queer rights in silence. I bet most people don't even know there is a Supreme Court case going on right now about marriage equality. ThaiBL made the world focus on their marriage equality issues and that's the only reason most westerners would even know that this is a thing. In a way ThaiBLs represent all of us Asians saying that we deserve marriage rights too. And that is a BIG deal.

As far as The Eighth Sense is concerned, it's like you mentioned one of the creators is a European and that certainly influences the way he would have seen the story and BL in general from a European perspective. To him it would all look and feel strange but Asians understand.

I recently had a conversation with my father about 'Why Gujarati's are ... basically running India and most of the world' (it's more complicated than that but that's a topic for another time) (we say this because our PM is Gujarati, most of India's biggest business owners are Gujarati, most of America is run by Gujaratis and Punjabis (we are a big deal there)) Anyway, the important bit is - Asia fundamentally views the world different than westerners. That doesn't mean we don't like things like liberty and freedom and equality. It means we are a collectivist society (which has it's own problems but that's another thing altogether) as opposed to most of the west's individualistic society. Capitalism is evil for you people because your individualism leaves no space for moral responsibility of your fellow countrymen. It's not the same for us. It's also why people didn't understand GAP. Sam not leaving her grandmother is not unique for us. We take care of our elders. We always have. We always will. It's also why Mon couldn't ask her to leave with her, it would be wrong. There are thousands of Indian movies where this is the main conflict. Many views have been presented and ultimately it's an individual choice but society will look down on you. That's just how we are. There is nothing wrong with that.

To go back to the point of BL vs Queer Media, it's the same way people consider Anime to be for children. Our perspectives are inherently different because out cultures are different.

As Asians I don't think we should try to fit the mold of the West and what they think is real, actual queerness or queer representation. And for Westerners, I think people should start to accept that there are people who are fundamentally different to you and that's not a bad thing. It's not a discourse. That's just people being people. Cultures being cultures.

Now of course, this is an Indian perspective. It will be fundamentally different to a Thai, Japanese, Chinese, Korean perspective. Hell, I imagine an Indian would have something totally opposite to say. But that's the point of diversity and India has kinda mastered the art of diversity.

(I'd also say the West has no right to determine what is and isn't queer. Asia was pretty fucking queer friendly until the West started poking around. In fact this debate is itself a remnant of colonialism. They destroyed our history and now poke at us to laugh when it's the exact effects they intended.)

ik there's the contentious topic about categorizing things as bl and making the distinction between bl and queer media, and i do think there have been valid points in the discourse about how bl is changing and its going through a sort of r/evolution now that bl is getting pretty big (and i'm talking exclusively about asian bl here btw, so in this context it would be the globalization of asian bls). but i also think that it's important to not disregard history and bl's roots.

bl was created by women for women in the 1970s in japan. although from a feminist perspective, bl challenges gender and sexual norms, bring capitalism into the equation, and we're getting the fetishization of gay relationships for (predominantly) straight female consumption.

idt it's a "right or wrong" situation. i believe two truths can exist: bl is a capitalist venture that oftentimes perpetuates harmful stereotypes, but bl can also be liberation for a lot of people. especially asian bl—as a bisexual woc, seeing nonwhite queer media is so so important to me. and i am not asian, but i know it's especially been revolutionary for my fellow queer asian brothers, sisters, & enby siblings.

i read somewhere that the directors instructed juntaek to not watch (korean) bl when studying for his role in the eighth sense. i found this reeeeally interesting, since i've also seen people mention that the eighth sense is not a bl, but queer media. i also think it's important to point out that one of the directors/writers is a white european man, and i'm pretty sure he was the one who told juntaek to watch things like skam or call me by your name instead of kbls—i haven't seen skam but cmbyn is white queer cinema (also problematic, but i digress). in the past, there was also that british bl heartstopper (sorry besties i still haven't seen it i probably should), in which the author expressed that they did not want to label it as bl, but there was backlash as, at least the show, clearly drew inspiration from asian bl.

as a historically asian genre, how does this distinction (bl vs. queer) perpetuate the western hegemony of queer thought? usually when people make this distinction, i don't think they take into account that race plays as much as a part as queerness (intersectionality is so important). but on the other hand, i also understand that bl has clear tropes and narrative structures that make it a bl. we wouldn't call moonlight a bl, or the handmaiden a gl. but also, films are a different medium with less restrictions (if you've seen a korean film vs. a kdrama, you get me lol).

i definitely don't have an answer or anything. the eighth sense is filmed through such a queer lens and it touches on the nuances of the queer experiences in a way i haven't really seen in bl, but i still i find myself wary of proclaiming that it's not bl, ja feel? is the eighth sense (along with bls such as bad buddy, old fashion cupcake, to my star, etc.) a marker of the r/evolution of bl? i guess i just wanted to open up the conversation to hear people's thoughts, especially from my fellow queer pocs.

at the end of the day we're all here to be entertained, but i'm glad to see discourse and think it's fruitful in the long process of decolonizing our mindsets.

[bc-maq24]

I obviously attest to the #BLM movement, because humanity, but I’ve never been terribly vocal about it. But here you have this insane situation in which all parties, police and civilian, are all black. These officers, all of which who look relatively young, all had a chance to mediate and mitigate the contention between the black and “blue” communities.

How the fuck does this happen?

How did 5 black officers perpetuate the prevalent issues that already existed between law officers and civilians of any and all black descent? And without any type of motive or provocation, it all just looks abysmally barbaric.

There is absolutely no justification, no words, nothing that makes this okay. But I still want to know: what the actual fuck has to be going on in their heads for them to act in this manner toward “one of their own”? In a time that the black community (and all oppressed communities individually and together) should be coming together against seemingly oppressive forces, how, HOW, can 5 black men do this when none of the same force was being used against them?

This feels like a bad plot of a Prime Time drama. There’s no way it can be real life. It feels too scripted to pit people against each other. It seems to be deliberate to completely undermine the BLM movement as a whole. How is any of this even real life?

[valgodd]

You lie in our bed and watch me struggle to button my pants.

”Damn” I mutter under my breath, trying to force the button into the loop.

”Whats wrong babe” you say innocently.

”They just wont close” I say exasperated.

You quietly enjoy the show for a while beforing rising to your feet.

”Here, let me help you darling…”

”Absolutely not” I push you away.

”Dont be silly love. You obviously need a little help with those”

I sigh. 

”Okay. Fine” 

You come up behind me. Your hands linger for a while on my protrouding belly.

”Poor baby” you whisper in my ear, your lips touching my earlobe. ”Did you gain s little weight?” I grunt in response. ”Mhm… Okay love… I need you to suck it in. Can you do that for me babe? Okay…here we go…”

”Godness me” I huff, looking at my swollen reflection in the mirror as you try to do my pants. ”well i think my love for your cooking is starting to show”

After a few attempts, the button gets in the loop. You squeeze my muffin top that is spilling over the waistband.

”There you go. Can you sit down im them?”

I carefully sit down on the edge of the bed, the button creaking.

”Its digging in a bit but its-”

With a snap the button pops off and lands on the floor. My belly oozes out.

”Oh shoot. I-I think I could stand to loose a couple of pounds”

You sit down beside me, one arm over my shoulder, the other one rubbing my belly in comforting circles.

”Dont be so hard on yourself babe. You let go a bit recently, but you can get back into shape in no time. Hey how about some breakfast? I… could make your favourite. The golden pancakes with jam and whipping cream”

I hold back a moan at your suggestion.

”Mm that would be…lovely”

You give my belly a little squeeze.

”Okay love. Just stay here in bed and I’ll soon be back, okay?”

[libraryspectre]

After the 2016 election, I was alone on a college campus in Texas. The only queer person I knew in real life was my girlfriend, and she lived across the country. I had very few friends on campus and my entire family had voted for trump.

The next morning I got up and went to the student queer center for the first time. Before, I had been too afraid of been seen as a queer person to be in queer spaces. It took an existential threat to get there, but I'm forever grateful that threat drove me toward community rather than scaring me away from it. It was such a relief to be around other queer people that I ended up joining two queer student groups. I wasn't outgoing or comfortable enough with myself yet to make the most of those connections, but they were truly one of the major factors that kept me from collapsing in on myself.

I wanted to say this because I'm seeing a lot of good posts about how you need to get involved in your local community, but if you're exhausted and scared that can seem really daunting. But I want you to know that as much as they need you, YOU need THEM. You need to survive, and even live if possible. Do not underestimate the healing and motivating power of being with your people. If it can't be other queer people, build connections with anyone sympathetic, and with other people who are having to batten the hatches right now. We should all be building ties with those people anyway.

And this is really important - allow yourself community with those you don't totally agree with. Now is not the time to let infighting and ideological purity get in the way of growth. Be safe. I love you.

[dognonsense]

4 hour painting. Sun goddess.

[wtslpod]

some lesbian thoughts on elrond & galadriel

The dynamic between Elrond and Galadriel, despite being central to the show, sometimes feels under-appreciated in the fandom. Like many relationships in TROP, it doesn’t easily slot into a single category. It’s not merely one of friendship or kinship or mentorship

It’s not romantic, but it is emotionally intimate—and that seems to trip a lot of people up, even before 2x07. We’ve always appreciated how emotionally open Galadriel and Elrond are with each other, particularly given how guarded Galadriel is with most other characters.

She and Elrond have a long history prior to their reunion in the first episode, and during the course of the show they rely on each other as they navigate disappointment and loss, both personal and as relates to elven-kind.

They don’t always see eye to eye, but even when Elrond feels hugely betrayed by Galadriel’s choices, it doesn’t erode the love between them.

They’ve been separated during their respective darkest moments, but find solace and healing in each other’s presence. They bring light into each other’s lives, and together will be instrumental in banishing the rising darkness.

One of the strengths of Tolkien's work, and one of the reasons fans (including queer fans like us) return to these stories time and again, is the focus on platonic bonds that defy societal norms through the strength of their intimacy and commitment.

Of all the relationships we've seen on the show so far, Galadriel and Elrond embody this wonderful category-defying emotional intimacy most of all.

[productomag]

''gender is a performance'' hunter schafer for purpose and perspective magazine, april 2018

[kausijuoppo]

Bitches

[growmydarling]

i haven't really been *secretly* fattening you up...you just never noticed. all i did was kept your favorite foods at a lazy arm's reach, served your plate with double portions (and triple the butter) to my own, and kept you happy and secure. only subconsciously did you notice how my hand lingers on your lower stomach and only absent-mindedly did you realize your gut had started hanging out from under your old t-shirts. i didn't put the food in your mouth, you did. i didn't ask for thirds, you did. i didn't outgrow my widest pair of sweatpants, but you sure did. what i did do was infuse your life with love and cuddles and of course delicious food, which made your comfortable and self-confident and heavier than ever before. 💖

[tardis-stowaway]

The Doctor: He [Isaac Newton] was, wasn't he? He was so hot. Oh, is that who I am now?

So what personality trait of his new regeneration is the Doctor mildly surprised by here? He doesn't sound shocked, but it seems to be enough of a difference to mention out loud. A lot of people seem to be interpreting the that as referring to being into guys. To be fair, I think that's how Donna understands it in her next line.

My understanding of the line is slightly different. Feeling attraction to men (along with other genders) is nothing new to the Doctor. Nine and Captain Jack Harkness kissed full on the lips onscreen! Look at any interactions between Ten and the Master. Consider that changing gender presentation is something that any Time Lord might do at any regeneration, so treating gender as a limiting factor in attraction wouldn't make sense for the Doctor.

No, what has changed is that Fourteen is the sort of person who will directly admit when he finds someone hot while gossiping with his BFF. Not brilliant, or fascinating, or even beautiful, but hot. That's what's new.

[direquail]

One of the many things I find funny and irritating is the slant of a lot of interpretations of Alecto's name (that it's about feminine rage)--on this here wlw internet in the year of our lord 2024, it's easily made to figure as rage against God, or rage against patriarchy, or religious oppression, and therefore an allusion to the idea that she's going to get her vengeance on John for betraying and oppressing her somehow, but like

John is the one who named her Alecto. He's the one who named her that. So, naming her "Alecto" is alluding to the embodiment of John's rage--their rage, since they are joined inseparably (John even explicitly says that when he first perceives her: "You wouldn't stop screaming. You were so scared. You were so goddamn mad").

He says of Alecto to Harrow, "In a very real way, you are [Alecto's] children". At a very surface level, Alecto is (depending on the text or tradition), one of the Furies--famously, in several surviving Greek tragedies, who punish Orestes for the crime of killing his mother. In fact, in Aeschylus' Oresteia, they declare that they are specifically bound to avenge matricide.

So the name "Alecto" alludes to the nature of John's mission and how he sees it.

It also implies that his divine rage, the rage that gives him power, the power that makes him divine, that he either represents or wants to represent, is feminine rage. He was chosen by Earth (which, Furies are sometimes the daughters of Gaia); he is her champion, however he's managed to fuck that up. Once the truth of that comes out, it becomes clear that all of his power comes from her.

And that's why you get statements from Tamsyn Muir like:

“[T]he God of the Locked Tomb IS a man; he IS the Father and the Teacher; it’s an inherently masc role played by someone who has an uneasy relationship himself to playing a Biblical patriarch. John falls back on hierarchies and roles because they’re familiar even when he’s struggling not to. Even he identifies himself as the God who became man and the man who became God. But the divine in the Locked Tomb is essentially feminine on multiple axes – I think Nona will illuminate that a little bit more."

So yes, he plays the role of Emperor and God and Teacher, with all of the things that implies. And I don't think it should be discounted. But he also is (and partly sees himself as) the chosen champion of a goddess, or what is for all intents & purposes for a human like him a goddess. He is her avenger, and while she sleeps, her avatar.

And I don't think we're meant to read him purely as a parasite who's taking advantage of her to gain power for himself, either. Or an oppressive, Kronos-like figure. Especially if you consider Palamedes' theory of the Grand Lysis, even if he was purely motivated by desire for power before (which I really doubt), there are parts of each in the other, now. What was clear and separate before is uncertain and interpenetrated. Is his rage his own, or hers? Is his mission of revenge his, or hers? If he wants power, is that his own selfishness, or her desire to survive?

And does it matter?