#pushing myself

[honeycombhank]

Jumped rope for 50 minutes!

The play list was epic and the mood was unstoppable!

1/4/24

[ohwaitwhatdamn]

Avoiding homework earlier today

[mroddmod]

rough seas

[bacchuschucklefuck]

couldnt draw my thang for mid-autumn so treated myself to a calne redesign instead

[tears-that-heal]

My Code Phrase for “kinda functioning while being ill or unwell”. 😵‍💫😷😭

(art by graffiti factory)

[northernfireart]

read the whole story> here by @clarionglass :)

[rebekah1213]

Camp NaNoWriMo Results

I did two projects within thirty days. The first one I was about my emotional health…my inner shadow work, my PTSD moments, and some anxiety.  I got over forty thousand words. The second was a story was for NaNoWriMo anthology. I wrote over ten thousand words with notes, the actual story and several edits. I only gave myself a word count goal of thirty thousand, but I made fifty. However when…

[glamindoll]

Today is the day I step out of my comfort zone, from now and forever.

[pangur-and-grim]

every time I say “starting nooooow I won’t have any major expenses” something HAPPENS! there’s raw sewage backing up from my drains, and apparently the plumbers will need to break the floor and the wall to get to the pipes and fix it.

if the cat stuff hadn’t wiped out my bank account, this would be annoying but manageable. as it is…..I’m going to try to get everything up in the store for Friday.

[honeycombhank]

I am not ready for the holidays, I am really missing the kids I used to be so close to that I worked with, I miss working, making my own money, feeling independent and driving myself to and from, anywhere I wanted.

This morning I am struggling with a deep feeling of inadequacy, of depression and grief for a life once easy to live, even with the stress of everyday life, it was so much easier to keep my spirits up when I could feel all of that grounding me.

Some days I’m hit head on, it takes so long to recover sometimes from my seizures, it takes so much work just to exist in this body so much of the time.

I feel that I should be doing something more with my time on earth, it’s hard to keep a healthy balance in my thoughts between it’s okay you can rest don’t feel guilty and okay you can do this just gotta push one step at a time today.

Being sick with Covid these last few days has been truly awful, being stuck inside knowing I’m not at all ready for the holiday, knowing I have tasks to get done towards applying for disability and making gifts for my family and friends that used to be so close that I need to reconnect with and call, but feeling like my brain just won’t give me the tools I need to accomplish any of it.

I’m left feeling empty, hopeless, unworthy and unwanted. I do have a logical side that tells me to say no to these thoughts but good lord it’s hard to keep up.

Thank you for listening, I know you all have your own struggles and I know I have many things to be thankful for.

12/19/23

[joyboythehopepunk]

Hungry

When I finally get hungry, it's already too late.

I've ignored most of the warning signals up to this point, so what I'm experiencing is something akin to a last resort.

My body is yelling "Fire!"

The hole in my stomach is there. Along with the irritability, the shakiness, the dizziness.

I should've ate 6 hours ago.

And no matter how closely I pay attention I will miss the initial signals.

Because I've gotten used to it. Used to ignoring the warning signs. To toughing it out. To letting it go "until it really matters".

How many more times can I do this to myself before I suddenly feint one day?

Maybe I'll hit my (abnormally) hard head and finally be done with it all.

But I know it won't come that easy. Nothing ever does.

[problemnyatic]

executive dysfunction really is a complete fucking nightmare. all the decisions you could make, but you won't. All the things you know you should do, you want to do, but you won't. Yeah yeah we all know it's a symptom but it feels and looks like just.... deciding not to be responsible.

It's easier not to, so i guess I just won't. I promise it's not laziness, I swear. It's not me just giving up on things that affect more than just me, I swear. Maybe if I say it enough I could hope to believe it myself.

[piscespistolpouch]

I dont care anymore...

feeling myself and what I mean by that is so liberating

knowing what I bring to conversations knowing what I want and seeing how it can happen! gives me the most hype I've had in a minute!

security within in myself is what I'm trying to find!

[hinamie]

i'm on an itafushi kick and i am making it everyone else's problem

[artsymeeshee]

Instinct lives to see another new page.

I know, I know, it’s been since April when the last page was out. I’ve been noticing Instinct has gained a bit of attention the last couple of days and I finally pushed myself to make a new page. And because I felt bad I left it at a pretty tense moment.

Prev: pg. 67

[ahollins209]

I’m going to overcome my fears and just tackle everything I have been holding myself back on.