#pulp fiction christmas

[blinkiesstampsandgraphics]

A few movie/tv blinkies

[jasondeansgothwife]

Rules: Make a poll of your favorite female characters (no limits - as many or as little as you want) and see which your followers like the most!

one of my mutuals did this and i thought i'd do it too!!

i'm a girl, so most of these are my kins

[ancientisopod]

NEW INTRO POST!!

Hey everyone! My name’s Jesse. I use he/him pronouns and this going to be a blog for me to talk about my interests and repost things related to them.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

My main interests are insects, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Littlest Pet Shop, animals, video games, music, movies and animation.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Some of my favourite movies are Pulp Fiction, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Addams Family, Monty Python And The Holy Grail, Labyrinth, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Spirited away and the Spiderverse movies.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Hope you like it here! <3

[rrcraft-and-lore]

Shakespeare was the pulp writer of his day (mad love here but be honest/real about it).

He put a fucking bear in a scene cuz someone paid him to.

You've probably seen that post floating around on off about the lit fic/creative writing teacher who poo-poo'd a student's love of Terry Pratchett (one of the greatest to ever play in this sphere) because he was a "pulp" writer.

Well, so was Shakespeare. And that's not a bad thing. But get off your high horse about it. The pulp writers shaped and defined the arts. You wouldn't have noir/detective stories like we do without Raymond Chandler, which means very likely, no urban fantasy in one of the most popular ways - like Dresden Files and all of the similar styles of that. Of course the genre is broader than that. Or cyberpunk in many ways, which is a SF evolution of the noir genre in many ways similar critiques done in a high tech world of corruption in govt/business levels, societal issues that the early noir also tackled and brought up, social inequality, all of that.

Christmas was redefined by a pulp writer, Charles Dickens.

Robert E. Howard was a pulp writer with Conan. How much did that do for Sword and Sorcery. And there are many more.

[mrdrhenwardhykle]

POM POM: KILLER OF MASCOT GAMES VOL.3 #8

Pom Pom vs Dirk the Daring

"Hehahahaaa!! It's that time again! Hehehehe! It may come as a surprise to all of you, but I love-love-LOVE Christmas and snow and EVERYTHING! 

Heheheh- Especially since the CONSTANT rain stopped after our little "Stone Incident" and now I HAVE SNOW HEHEHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!

SOOOO-this year, I have decided to make a goal to start giving back to the 'community' little by little every day (Friday-ahem-), by helping the less fortunate just like I was! 

Today, I helped some starving animals who just lost their papa by wrapping them up a dinner and a nice Christmas tree in one! Ain't I such a saint?! 

Hehehee!!!"

Previous Next

Who is Pom Pom?

Pom Pom is a virus/glitch formed by the scrapped side-scrolling arcade game from the early 90's “Pom-Pom Panic”. Pom Pom (the main character of Pom Pom Panic) for whatever reason gained sentience halfway during the game’s development. The game was cancelled halfway because the publishing company thought it was too bizarre of a concept and mascot character to gain interest. Pom Pom heard of the news and took it way too personally, as she literally cannot fathom why someone would think she’s ‘bizarre’-even to the point of getting ‘axed’. Prompted by the ‘poor judgement’ Pom Pom went rouge-breaking from her game to ‘axe’ any ‘approved’ game mascots/characters she thought could count as ‘bizarre’ like her.

[i-scavenger]

VHS tapes found in a brown paper bag in a dumpster enclosure.

[garthnadermemestash]

more millionaires in tubes please..

[portal-to-the-past]

Street & Smith’s Wild West Weekly - December 26, 1936 // Cover by Robert G. Harris

Source

[acmeoop]

Holiday Galaxy Science Fiction Covers

Galaxy Science Fiction Christmas Covers

Art by Ed Emshwiller

[rj-drive-in]

Fiction Pulp Fiction Department:

Reindeer Riders #16. For 21 issues between 1926 and 1928, the famous Reindeer Riders patrolled the Yukon and the Northwest Territories, protecting the good people of the Great White North from murderous fugitives, Russian spies, monsters unknown to science, ghosts of the Aurora, and, on one occasion, alien invaders. Whatever the menace, Bernard, Mack, Margaret, and Hannah always got matters settled in time for dinner. Unfortunately, that magazine was never published in this universe, so don't bother looking for it. But somewhere out there in the Myriadverse, this old Pulp is a dandy collector's item!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to Everyone, regardless of decade or dimension!

© 2022 Rick Hutchins

[mcbeamon]

Never Be Ashamed Of Believing On Something

As a young child my grandmother Nettie used to drag me to Beulah Baptist Church on West 130th Street in Harlem. I dreaded it, especially when she’d tell me it was the usher board day, children’s day or some other special occasion. This meant we’d be in church from before 10 am until after 3:30 pm. I thought I hadn’t absorbed much. But, the scriptures like Psalm 23 and the bedtime prayer, “Now I…

[blondephil]

hello (one of the) resident phannie data analyst(s) here with some parasocial stats on dnp’s movie tastes! following: distribution of dan and phil's ratings overall, movies they each rated 5 stars, their lowest-rated movies, and the similarities + differences in their tastes

(lore moment: yes i am a data analyst in my real job. yes i surprised myself with wanting to do this in my spare time. but then i remembered when we read dracula in college (yes i was an english major) and i graphed like, how many times dracula was referred to as vampire versus monster or something. so i shouldn’t be surprised.

first up, their overall rating patterns and by ~special status~ (i.e., wall-e, kill bill, avatar, lmao, plus big hero 6 for the fun of it)

dan’s rated 304 movies and phil’s rated 305. both of them have mean and median ratings of 4 with min 1 and max 5.

both rated kill bill vols. 1 and 2 a 5. wall-e got a 4.5 from dan and a 4 from phil (phake phans). both gave avatar a 3.5. and big hero 6 3.5 (dan) and 4.5 (phil)

rating distribution:

i did analyses here by genre but i need to fix the output (i’m writing all of these based on the markdown document from my phone on the subway, but i need to fix the outputs and i don’t have my computer. so those are pending but there are other genre analyses that i could do & haven’t yet!)

while i was sorting through the data i got the impression that dan overall rated movies higher than phil. so, among movies that they've both rated, here's some information

number of movies dan rated higher than phil: 65

Empire Strikes Back, Blade Runner, Return of the Jedi, My Neighbor Totoro, Back to the Future II, Nightmare Before Christmas, Toy Story, Phantom Mence, Donnie Darko, Attack of the Clones, Finding Nemo, Oldboy, The Notebook, Batman Begins, Brokeback Mountain, WALL-E, (500) Days of Summer, Up, The Hangover, Drive, The Cabin in the Woods, The Avengers, The Dark Knight Rises, Life of Pi, Skyfall, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, Whiplash, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Room, The Hateful Eight, The Force Awakens, Manchester by the Sea, Deadpool, La La Land, Moonlight, Rogue One, Call Me By Your Name, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2., Wonder Woman, Spider-Man: Homecoming, I, Tonya, Thor: Ragnorak, Phantom Thread, Roma, The Favourite, The Lighthouse, Toy Story 4, Midsommar, Ad Astra, Knives Out, Soul, The Green Knight, No Time to Die, Don't Look Up, Spider-Man: No Way Home, Turning Red, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, Thor: Love and Thunder, The Banshees of Inisherin, The Fabelmans, Glass Onion, Beau is Afraid, Barbie, Oppenheimer, Poor Things

number of movies phil rated higher than dan: 55

Star Wars (New Hope), Blair Witch Project, Requiem for a Dream, Memento, Ocean's Eleven, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Iron Man 2, Thor, Captain America: The First Avenger, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Moonrise Kingdom, Iron Man 3, Gravity, Prisoners, The Wolf of Wall Street, The Grand Budapest Hotel, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, The Imitation Game, Nightcrawler, John Wick, Gone Girl, Big Hero 6, Jurassic World, The Martian, The Revenant, Nocturnal Animals, Split, Get Out, Baby Driver, The Disaster Artist, Dunkirk, The Shape of Water, The Greatest Showman, The Last Jedi, Ready Player One, Crazy Rich Asians, A Star is Born, Rocketman, Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood, Joker, The Rise of Skywalker, The Invisible Man, A Quiet Place Part II, Greenland, Tenet, Malignant, Eternals, The Matrix Resurrections, Scream (2022), Nope, Prey, Talk to Me, Avatar: The Way of the Water, The Super Mario Bros. Movie, Mission Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One

number of movies they rated the same: 99!

Alien, ET, Gremlins, Back to the Future, Top Gun, Aliens, Home Alone, Silence of the Lambs, Jurassic Park, Pulp Fiction, The Lion King, Se7en, Scream, The Fifth Element, Titanic, The Truman Show, The Matrix, Magnolia, Spirited Away, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Spider-Man, Lost in Translation, Kill Bill, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Mean Girls, Howl's Moving Castle, Children of Men, The Dark Knight, Pontypool, Inglourious Basterds, Avatar, Toy Story 3, Inception, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Black Swan, The Social Network, 21 Jump Street, The Hunger Games, Silver Linings Playbook, The Conjuring, Snowpiercer, Her, Thor: The Dark World, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, Boyhood, It Follows, Guardians of the Galaxy, Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance), Interstellar, Ex Machina, The Witch, Avengers: The Age of Ultron, Mad Max: Fury Road, Inside Out, Ant-Man, Captain America: Civil War, Your Name., Arrival, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, mother!, It, Blade Runner 2049, Hereditary, Black Panther, Annihilation, A Quiet Place, Avengers: Infinity War, Captain Marvel, Us, Avengers: Endgame, Parasite, It Chapter Two, Marriage Story, Uncut Gems, 1917, Black Widow, The Suicide Squad, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, Dune, Last Night in Soho, The Batman (2022), Everything Everywhere All at Once, X, The Northman, Top Gun: Maverick, Bullet Train, Barbarian, Pearl, M3GAN, Dungeons and Dragongs: Honor Among Thieves, Evil Dead Rise, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3., No Hard Feelings, Saltburn, Priscilla, Society of the Snow, Saw X, Leave the World Behind

i didn't analyse this by genre or anything, but i could -- so if you're interested lmk!

the 5 movies with the most different ratings between dan and phil

- Iron Man 2 (dan: 2, phil 3.5)

- The Greatest Showman (d: 2.5, p: 4)

- Malignant (d: 3, p: 4.5)

- Scream (2022) (d: 2.5, p: 4)

- Beau is Afraid (d: 3, p: 1.5)

Interesting that even though dan has more higher rated movies, 4/5 of these ones phil rated higher.

next, their 5-star movies

dan's five stars: 80

Alien, Empire Strikes Back, ET, Blade Runner, Gremlins, Back to the Future, Top Gun, Aliens, Stand by Me, The Grave of the Fireflies, My Neighbor Totoro, Back to the Future II, Home Alone, Silence of the Lambs, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Jurassic Park, Nightmare Before Christmas, Schindler's List, Pulp Fiction, The Lion King, Toy Story, Fargo, Scream, The Fifth Element, Hercules, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Titanic, The Truman Show, The Matrix, Fight Club, Magnolia, The Emperor's New Groove, Donnie Darko, Moulin Rouge, Shrek, Spirited Away, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Finding Nemo, Kill Bill, Oldboy, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Shaun of the Dead, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Howl's Moving Castle, Revenge of the Sith, Brokeback Mountain, No Country for Old Men, The Dark Knight, Inception, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, The Tree of Life, 21 Jump Street, The Avengers, Life of Pi, Skyfall, Under the Skin, Whiplash, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Interstellar, Mad Max: Fury Road, Sicario, The Hateful Eight, La La Land, Arrival, mother!, Blade Runner 2049, Avengers: Infinity War, First Man, The Favourite, The Lighthouse, Parasite, Midsommar, Uncut Gems, 1917, Dune, Everything Everywhere All at Once, Top Gun: Maverick, Oppenheimer, Poor Things

phil's five stars:

Star Wars (New Hope), Alien, ET, Gremlins, Back to the Future, Top Gun, Aliens, Home Alone, Silence of the Lambs, Jurassic Park, Pulp Fiction, The Lion King, Scream, The Fifth Element, Titanic, The Truman Show, The Matrix, Magnolia, Requiem for a Dream, Memento, Spirited Away, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Kill Bill, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Howl's Moving Castle, The Dark Knight, Inception, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, 21 Jump Street, Interstellar, Mad Max: Fury Road, The Revenant, Arrival, Dunkirk, mother!, Blade Runner 2049, Avengers: Infinity War, Parasite, Uncut Gems, 1917, Dune, Everything Everywhere All at Once, Top Gun: Maverick, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, The Shawshank Redemption, Gladiator, Little Miss Sunshine

overlap: 39

Alien, ET, Gremlins, Back to the Future, Top Gun, Aliens, Home Alone, Silence of the Lambs, Jurassic Park, Pulp Fiction, The Lion King, Scream, The Fifth Element, Titanic, The Truman Show, The Matrix, Magnolia, Spirited Away, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Kill Bill, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Howl's Moving Castle, The Dark Knight, Inception, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, 21 Jump Street, Interstellar, Mad Max: Fury Road, Arrival, mother!, Blade Runner 2049, Avengers: Infinity War, Parasite, Uncut Gems, 1917, Dune, Everything Everywhere All at Once, Top Gun: Maverick

& their lowest rated movies...

dan: matrix resurrections (1) , thor: the dark world (1.5), the rise of skywalker (1.5)

phil: crimes of the future (1), attack of the clones (1.5), thor: the dark world (1.5), don’t look up (1.5), the matrix resurrections (1.5), doctor strange in the multiverse of madness (1.5), beau is afraid (1.5), black bear (1.5)

not even chris hemsworth could save thor the dark world, i guess (kat dennings, though…)

movies they logged on the same date:

note that this is like, non-exhaustive, because this is only based on their diaries that list the date. i think in reality they've watched most of these movies together. frequently dan logged a couple days after phil which aren’t shown here. procrastination queen

Pontypool, Eternals, The Northman, Nope, Barbarian, The Banshees of Inisherin, Glass Onion, The Super Mario Bros. Movie, Beau is Afraid, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3., Mission Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One, Saltburn, Poor Things, Priscilla, Saw X, Leave the World Behind

movies that one logged and not the other:

dan but not phil: 85

The Exorcist, Stand by Me, The Grave of the Fireflies, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Home Alone 2, Schindler's List, Fargo, Romeo & Juliet, Hercules, Men in Black, Neon Genesis Evangelion, The Mummy, The 13th Warrior, Fight Club, The Emperor's New Groove, Moulin Rouge, Shrek, Legally Blonde, Monsters, Inc, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Scooby-Doo, 28 Days Later, Matrix Reloaded, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, School of Rock, Matrix Revolutions, Saw, Shaun of the Dead, Shrek 2, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Revenge of the Sith, The Devil Wears Prada, Borat, Casino Royale, No Country for Old Men, Death Proof, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, There Will Be Blood, Tropic Thunder, Slumdog Millionaire, Moon, District 9, Fantastic Mr. Fox, The King's Speech, We Need to Talk About Kevin, The Tree of Life, X-Men: First Class, Prometheus, Argo, Les Miserables, Django Unchained, World War Z, Pacific Rim, Under the Skin, 12 Years a Slave, American Hustle, The Babadook, The Lego Movie, x-Men: Days of Future Past, 22 Jump Street, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, The Theory of Everything, Green Room, Sicario, Spotlight, The Big Short, 10 Cloverfield Lane, The Conjuring 2, Train to Busan, Hacksaw Ridge, Doctor Strange, Hidden Figures, Logan, You Were Never Really Here, Game Night, Isle of Dogs, First Man, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, Suspiria, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Glass, Hustlers, Pig, Violent Night

phil but not dan: 86

Jaws, The Terminator, Beetlejuice, Die Hard, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Groundhog Day, The Shawshank Redemption, Leon: The Professional, The Usual Suspects, The Frighteners, The Sixth Sense, Being John Malkovich, American Beauty, The Green Mile, Gladiator, Catch Me if You Can, Elf, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Little Miss Sunshine, Pan's Labyrinth, The Prestige, Zodiac, Spider-Man 3, Iron Man, Juno, Lake Mungo, Twilight, Zombieland, Kick-Ass, Brave, Evil Dead, The Great Gatsby, Now You See Me, Monsters University, Man of Steel, About Time, Dallas Buyers Club, Edge of Tomorrow, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2, The Boy, Raw, Finding Dory, Suicide Squad, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, John Wick: Chapter 2, Lady Bird, The Ritual, Happy Death Day, Deadpool 2, Ocean's 8, Ant-Man and The Wasp, Bird Box, Booksmart, Crawl, Spider-Man: Far From Home, The Platform, Black Bear, Palm Springs, The Empty Man, The Innocents, Titane, Old, Free Guy, The Black Phone, Fresh, Watcher, Bodies Bodies Bodies, Ambulance, Aftersun, Crimes of the Future, Fall, Bones and All, The Menu, Sanctuary, Do Revenge, Smile, Hellraiser (2022), Mr. Harrigan's Phone, Plane, Missing, Infinity Pool, Past Lives, Knock at the Cabin, Scream VI

i’m interested to see how this varies by genre!

miscellaneous non-statistical things that made me parasocially emotional and/or laugh during this process:

they watched nope together on christmas eve 2022 <3

dan rated moulin rouge a 5 <3 nature boy <3

he also rated shrek a 5. of course. (valid).

4.5 from dan and 4 from phil from the notebook

5 from danny for brokeback mountain <3 and a 4.5 from philly

cmbyn, yes, has its issues, but dan rated 4.5 and phil 4

the shape of water got a 4.5 from monsterfucker phil lester (dan gave it a 4)

surprisingly phil rated rocketman higher than dan! surprising because dan liked so many musicals

dan gave hustlers a 3.5. i don't know why i think this is funny, but i do. phil doesn't have it logged or rated, lmao.

a 4 (d) and a 3.5 (p) for barbie!

phil gave twilight a 3. lol.

phil also gave do revenge only a 3.5. tragique.

phil watched a LOT of horror alone in october 2022 (aka while dan was on tour). anyway he's just like me <3

[ell-es-dee]

☣ hallo !! im nawt the best at making intros so.. here's the best one i could put together... (๑ᵔ⤙ᵔ๑)

💊 namehoard: toxin, sayori, yakui (main name), cyanide, lithium, radium, xenon, cyber, marigold, bonnie, keta/ketamine, aol, hazard, strawb, nyacifier, chlorine, zombeh, poptart, hani, kona, ++ any fictionkin names are fine!!

💊 boyflux/nonbinaryflux intersex boygirl, aroaceflux and pomoromantic ++ xenogenders

💊 pronouns: it/xe/lean/purp/glitch/nuke/🍪/☣️/💜 (use any other and i will give 1 warning, and if u continue it will become a block. (¬`‸´¬)

💊 all of my aesthetics/subcultures (very passionate about them,,): larpercore, slasher summer, juggalo, cultcore, doomer, slimepunk, necrotrap, bastardcore, terrorwave, incelcore, sigmacore, grunge, gopnik, slavic, jumpstylecore, oddcore, toxiccore, glowwave, icepunk, breakcore, acidwave, drugcore, kinderwhore, trashcore, urbling, scemo, shinora, gurokawa, rokku gyaru, hadeko, clowncore, yamanba gyaru, maidcore

💊 i have some disorders,, iwc always ૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟ ა (i swear im nice)

💊 some of my main fandoms: american psycho, stephen king (any of his movies/books), fnaf, yandere simulator, class of 09, final destination, pulp fiction, ddlc, genshin impact, saw, scream, lucky star, creepypasta, eddsworld, south park, monster high, twilight, heathers, tyler the creator lore, mlp, breaking bad, strawberry shortcake, athf, edd ed and eddy, homestuck, vocaloid, gorillaz, the office, american horror story, goosebumps, nijura maids (i dont support the creator 😕) ++ more

💊 my otherkins/conceptkins;; vampire kin, robot kin, glitch kin, angel kin,, zombie kin,, doll kin,, whether kin (tornado!!),, nightmare kin,, plush kin,, tech kin,, toy kin,, scarecrow kin, shadow kin, sea monster kin,, christmas kin, valentines day kin, hypnosis kin, chatbot kin, wizard kin, fallen angel/demon kin,, song kin,, death angel kin,, whats app kin (yes i kin whats app),, elf kin,, microwave kin,, halloween kin

💊 theriotypes;; jackalope,, koi fish,, calico cat,, vampire cat,, angel cat,, ant,, glow worm,, lamb,, kitsune,, bunny,, hamster,, jumping spider,, red fox,, white bat,, rosy maple moth,, groundhog,, raccoon,, polyphemus moth,, goat,, borzoi dog,, dirt worm,, persian cat (brown fur) ++ questioning others

💊 food kins: sour patch kid candy (specifically orange), jack-o-lantern (idk if that counts as a food), peeps marshmallow (specifically the yellow chick one), cotton candy (pink and blue)

💊 top fictionkins;; ticci toby (crp), yakui-san (nijura maids), billy lenz, nicole (class of 09), kyle broflovski, casey (scream), wendy torrence, carrie white, hatsune miku (vocaloid!!!!), sayori (ddlc), midori gurin (yansim), karkat vantas (homestuck), bonnie (fnaf), tord (eddsworld), derpy hooves (mlp), tavros nitram (homestuck), applejack (mlp), toko fukawa (danganronpa) konakona018 (oc), biscuit tan, patrick batemen (american psycho), billy loomis (scream), lulu (crp), judge angel (crp), natsuki (ddlc), sierra (tdi), karen (class of 09), meatwad (athf), junko (danganronpa), beta!kokichi (danganronpa v3), sayaka maizono (danganronpa v1), hamtaro, stanley mitchell, jade harley (homestuck), john egbert (homestuck), yowane haku (vocaloid), wolf haley, chihiro (danganronpa), dorei san, shitai san ++ wayy more.. (pfp is probably who im kinshifted as) also im fine with doubles & mediamates!!

💊 factkins: courtney love, rob canter, lisa left eye, george harrison, allison harvard

💊 some of my favorite music artists;; smashing pumpkins, jazmin bean, sharkdrug, yabujin, korn, icp, limp bizket, kmfdm, nirvana, 2pac, 4lung (i dont support the creator), bloodhound gang, cannibal corpse, foo fighters ☹️, weezer, gorillaz, kendrick lamar, lagoyo, red hot chili peppers, tyler the creator, basement jaxx, pierce the veil, deftones, ayesha erotica, slipknot, 1 800 pain, msi, hole, 2pac, slipknot

💊 selfshipper!!!! f/os: cody (tdi), edd (eddsworld), eyeless jack (crp), gamzee (homestuck), 2D (gorillaz), morty (r&m), mastershake (athf), liu woods (crp), x virus (crp), wallace wells (scott pilgrim) ૮꒰ ྀི >⸝⸝⸝< ྀི꒱ა

💊 adoptive father of jank boteko and an0rex1c sour patch kid meme (WHO IS PRO-YAKUI FAMILY 💜♥️😈)/satire

💊 i know japanese & russian ^______^ (english isn't my main but im ok with it)

💊 moodboard account: @noapologiesbynirvana

💊 webkinz, beanie babies, furbies, shopkins & squishmallows collector!!!!

💊 dni: basic dni, anti fictionkin/otherkin/etc, anti furry, anti therian, transphobes, homophones, TRUE CR*ME COMMUNITY/COLUMB*NERS (im recovering), people who support trump (YOU'RE HORRIBLE!!!!), nsfw blogs, toxic stans (any community), shedblr or cvtblr (im recovering), people who i had drama with in the past 😕😕

💊 gonna leave it at that for now,, might add more later !! ^_______^ 🌀🌀

[sadquickchristmassnowman]

Hiiii I have a community question I wanted to ask!!

Abed mentions all sorts of movies and tv shows through out Community, but I just wanted to know if maybe you have like a list of which ones are real and which ones he seemed to like more than others.

I can only think of the dark knight because of the dvd Annie broke, and the Star Wars movies (except he apparently hates the prequels) and cougar town!

great question! sorry for the delay on a response.

so, he mentions/references an insane number of movies and tv shows throughout the series, and I unfortunately do not have a list of every single one. although, I am (VERY slowly) working on an in-depth episode-by-episode analysis of the entire series, and listing every pop culture reference is a subsection in that. but that's not helpful right now. moving on

I don't have the picture, but there's this questionnaire abed filled out (outside of the show, it must have been uploaded to a website as promotional material for the show). he says his favorite movie is a tie between:

ghostbusters (1984, comedy/horror)

an american werewolf in london (1981, horror)

back to the future (1985, sci-fi/comedy)

blade runner (1982, sci-fi/action)

stand by me (1986, adventure/comedy)

stripes (1981, comedy/war)

star wars (1977, sci-fi/fantasy, also called "a new hope")

star wars: the empire strikes back (1980, sci-fi/fantasy)

star wars: the return of the jedi (1983, sci-fi/fantasy)

ferris bueller's day off (1986, comedy/drama)

jaws (1975, thriller/adventure)

raising arizona (1987, comedy/crime)

jurassic park (1993, adventure/sci-fi)

seven (1995, crime/mystery)

the matrix (1999, action/sci-fi)

the goonies (1985, adventure/comedy)

the breakfast club (1985, comedy/romance)

real genius (1985, comedy/sci-fi)

better off dead (1985, comedy/romance)

the fog of war (2003, documentary/war)

pulp fiction (1994, crime/thriller)

(btw if anyone knows what I’m talking about and has the screenshot please rb with it! I cannot for the life of me find it lmao)

I believe this is a list he apparently made in 2009, either in the first few weeks of school or right before the school year started. so it's possible he would answer differently as the series progressed. also, I do take some of these extra-canon things with a grain of salt, as on the same form he said his favorite place on campus was study room D or something, when obviously they definitely meant to write study room F. so, the credibility of my source for this information isn't exactly rock-solid. although, he does mention a lot of these movies on screen, and expresses love for many of them (the most notable ones probably being star wars episodes IV-VI, the breakfast club, and pulp fiction)

as you can see from the list, abed particularly loves american movies from the 80's. just a trend I thought I’d point out.

here's a few others he mentions loving, or just pretty notably references:

the dark night (2008, action/crime, as you mentioned)

rudolph the red-nosed reindeer (1964, musical/animated, is the whole basis of 2x11 abed's uncontrollable christmas)

the shawshank redemption (1994, horror/crime, is the basis for his plot with troy, annie, and shirley in 4x05 cooperative escapism in familial relations)

freaky friday (I believe it's the original one from 1976 specifically, but it's been remade a bunch. comedy/fantasy. it's the basis of abed and troy's story in 4x11 basic human anatomy)

rambo/first blood (series starting in 1982, action/thriller. abed talks about how messy the progressive series titles are in 3x14 pillows and blankets)

ocean's eleven (2001, crime/thriller, the basis for the heist scene from 3x21 the first chang dynasty)

hearts of darkness (1991, documentary/war, abed mentions it while pointedly filming dean pelton's production of his greendale commercial rather than helping with the commercial itself. similarly, hearts of darkness filmed the making of apocalypse now)

apocalypse now (1979, war/action, see the above explanation)

die hard (series starting in 1988, action/thriller, abed mentions wanting to do a die hard homage for christmas multiple times throughout season 4)

good will hunting (1997, thriller/romance, troy and abed's story in 1x24 english as a second language is filled with references to this movie. abed is doing homages on purpose, troy is not)

my dinner with andre (1981, comedy/drama, abed does a very elaborate homage at jeff's accidental expense in 2x19 critical film studies)

indiana jones (raiders of the lost ark, temple of doom, and the last cruscade only. he mentions loving the first three indiana jones movies in 1x04 social psychology)

aliens (1986, action/adventure/sci-fi, he and troy dress up as an alien and ripley in 2x06 epidemiology) (side note, I believe they're specifically referencing aliens, which is a sequel to alien. could be wrong though)

blade (1998, horror/action, they watch it over the course of 3x15 origins of vampire mythology after troy and abed assert multiple times that it is an amazing movie)

I think he generally talks about movies more than he talks about tv shows, but he does mention quite a few of them. some notable mentions are:

friends (1994, sitcom, mentions at least twice)

m*a*s*h (1972, sitcom, mentions in passing in 1x05 advanced criminal law, and references throughout 1x13 investigative journalism)

the cape (2011, action, mentions throughout 4x13 advanced introduction to finality)

who's the boss (1984, sitcom, is the premise of his whole storyline in 2x20 competitive wine tasting)

LOST (2004, sci-fi, mentions at least twice)

obviously there are a LOT more, but I just tried to list some of the most important ones, plot-wise and for understanding of his character. hopefully I’ll be able to get back to everyone with a super long list of every tv show and movie he ever mentions lmao, but that'll take a while. (there are lists online that say they list every movie and tv show abed has ever mentioned, but ngl I don't 100% trust those, so I’ll make my own lmao. but I put the link to one of them if you're curious. here's another one too)

at this point anyone who has seen community knows there are some really really big ones that I haven’t mentioned yet. pieces of media that are INTEGRAL to abed as a character. I was saving them for last lmfao. they are:

kickpuncher

inspector spacetime

cougar town

if I had to pick a holy trinity of media for abed, it would be these three things. these are EASILY the things he talks about the most, which is interesting, as both the kickpuncher movie franchise and the inspector spacetime series are completely fictional, and only exist in the community universe. (this is probably so they can show abed actually watching some of the shows/movies he talks about, without the obvious copyright issues that come with playing clips from an already existing movie/tv show on your screen. they kind of do that with blade in 3x15, but they only play vague fighting sounds, and never show their tv on our screen. anyway. not relevant.) to answer one of your questions from the ask, I believe those two are the ONLY fictional pieces of media abed talks about. as far as I know, everything else he mentions is real, including cougar town.

kickpuncher is obviously reminiscent of sci-fi/action films from the 80's, like robocop. like I said earlier, taking their place so that they could have a more substantial role in abed's on-screen life without any copywrite worries. it's a whole franchise, so there are multiple movies: kickpuncher, kickpuncher 2: codename: punchkicker, kickpuncher 3: the final kickening, kickpuncher: detroit, kickpuncher: miami (?), and kicksplasher (?). kicksplasher is apparently shown as a poster on abed's wall, and I’m assuming it's from the same franchise, although that could be wrong. the point is there's a very elaborate universe for kickpuncher, and it's a big part of abed's, and later troy's, film taste. the first time they mention it is in 1x15 romantic expressionism, when abed, troy, shirley, pierce, and chang all get together in abed's dorm room to make fun of stupid movies together. it's funny that it was introduced as a stupid movie to watch ironically, then troy and abed both end up genuinely loving it lmao. classic

inspector spacetime is obviously reminiscent of doctor who. they're both british sci-fi series that have been running for decades. doctor who uses a police box to travel the multiverse, while doctor who uses a telephone box. doctor who has malicious daleks who chant "exterminate," while inspector spacetime has blorgons who shout "eradicate." the concepts of the shows are obviously the same, with the actor for the doctor changing every season, etc etc. they're essentially the same exact show, but, like I said before, changed slightly so they can world-build without getting copywrited. there is something a little bit silly about this, though. it's definitely a continuity error and it's up to everyone whether they want to accept it as canon or not, I guess, but there's an episode where abed is actually wearing a doctor who t-shirt. (it also references bill and ted, but the doctor who part is what's relevant.) here's some pictures:

awesome shirt tbh, but it is a little bit funny that is essentially makes it true that doctor who and inspector spacetime both exist in the community universe. and, these pictures are from the cold open of 4x11 basic human anatomy, which is way after inspector spacetime is introduced to the show (3x01 biology 101). so, is inspector spacetime just a rip-off of doctor who? is abed a fan of both shows? if he is, clearly he likes inspector spacetime better. anyway. I would guess that this wasn't intentional. but that is definitely a tardis on that shirt. maybe it's just a classic season 4 continuity mistake. oh well. I guess that's just how the cookie crumbles. anyway.

cougar town time! yes, it's a real show. I didn't think it was but it is. what's not real is cougarton abbey, the short-lived british remake that britta gets abed into in 3x01 biology 101. but yeah. it has 6 seasons and is streaming on hulu, if you're interested. I’ve heard it's not good but who knows for sure. something cool about cougar town is that abed is actually in an episode. let me be clear: not danny pudi. ABED. it's similar to the story abed tells about being invited to the cougar town set and shitting his pants while having an existential crisis about the layers of reality. here is a youtube clip of the scene. I found out about it while stalking danny pudi's wikipedia page months ago, you know, a typical sunday afternoon activity, and I saw a cougar town credit on there. I didn't even know it was a real show at that point so you can imagine my surprise lmao. anyway. idk if you knew that already but it's one of my favorite community easter eggs. so funny.

okay! I hope this is enough information to suit your needs, and I am once again opening the floor to anyone who wants to add anything 💯 this was fun, thanks for the ask, and stay fresh everyone ✌️

[hellfireloserclub]

written for @thefreakandthehair spicy six winter challenge prompt: prompt 40 -If I hear this song one more time, I’m going to jail.-

Also on Ao3

Little Drummer Boy

It was something straight out of a shitty Christmas movie.  

Eddie wasn’t convinced that some higher being hadn’t sent down the whole damn situation to torture him. 

Had he not earned a break from the relentless torture that society insisted on dragging him through on the daily?

Hell, he had died for this godforsaken town and this was his reward?

Steve motherfucking Harrington walking around looking like Mr. December in a charity pin up calendar, right in front of his poor besotted eyes. 

He had only taken this job over the holidays to save up enough to actually move out of Wayne's, god knows his uncle deserved to have his own space. Wayne didn't need his deadbeat nephew under foot any longer, but between working on his GED and the few questionable side hustles -aka anyone that would employ a high school dropout who was accused of murder- his options had been few and far between. 

Joyce Byers had been left in charge of the Hawkins festive festival, and like the absolute angel she was she had put him to work alongside Robin and Steve as the general dogsbodies. No job too big. No job too small. 

However, this almost constant presence of Steve was hard-wiring Eddie's brain to sit constantly at a state of half horny half stupid. Sometimes he couldn't hide the frustrated grunt that shot out of him as he banged his head on the counter. It happened whenever Steve walked past with his stupid ruddy cheeks doing something dashing and noble and endearing himself even more to that really weak part of Eddie's psyche. 

So far in the last few days since they had set up, he had been a witness too, in no discernible order a thousand tiny acts of Harrington heroics. 

Steve had shimmied up the enormous Christmas tree in the town square to fix one of the blown out lights. The view had been spectacular, his stupid handsome grin shining almost as bright as the plastic angel that was lit up on top of the finest spruce the town had to offer. Various cheesy Christmas hits interwoven with carols filling the air as Steve had meticulously twisted each light one at a time.

Eddie had held the ladder as Robin taunted him relentlessly about his stupid crush under her breath.

“Come they told me Pa rum pum pum pum A newborn king to see Pa rum pum pum pum”

 Eddie loudly sang along to the music coming from the speakers in the town square, hopefully drowning out her words enough that Steve couldn't hear her from his precarious perch. Robin looked too smug in her knowing glances and her eyebrow wiggles. 

Eddie almost regretted letting Robin in on his dirty little, very confusing, secret, but it felt right at the time. Even if he couldn't quite get his head around the idea that he might be attracted to another man. He stupidly figured Robin would know where he was coming from, even if it was from the opposite direction, so to speak. Robin hadn’t asked for specifics, but it wasn’t hard to guess who his life-changing revelation was over. It wasn’t as if there were that many people in their immediate friend circle. 

But Eddie dared anyone not to fall a little in love with Steve Harrington, Demobat slayer. He was charming to a damn fault, nobody was immune to it, he even had Hopper wrapped around his little finger. And that was all it was, the charm. He wasn’t having very new, very frightening feelings over one of his best friends. The man who had saved him. 

Blah blah blah it was like some stupid typical pulp fiction trope, right down to the hairy chested man boobs, torn shirts and epic scars, just make it gayer. Even so… Eddie… he wasn't gay, at least he didn't think he was? Right now staring up at Steve leaning over to flick at a dud bulb his tongue poking out between pink chapped lips, Eddie wasn’t sure how long he could keep telling himself that. 

When Steve's feet were firmly back on the ground, he had quizzed them on what was so funny. 

Eddie had gone bright red and deflected but Robin had just said something catty about Eddie enjoying the view. 

It didn't help his cause when he helped Steve put the damn ladder away, following behind holding the other end of the rungs trying to look anywhere but at the picture perfect view of Steve’s ass in blue jeans.

“A newborn king to see Pa rum pum pum pum” Eddie muttered under his breath, singing along to distract his stupid mind. Steve watched him quizzically as he propped the ladder up against the wall. 

“That song gets stuck in your head right?” 

“Yeah something like that.” Eddie was glad when the walkie on his belt burst to life asking them to come help set up the candy cane village. 

○°○°○●○•°○•●•○°○○•●•●°○°○•●•

 Steve saving the baby Jesus was unexpected.

An epic hero moment, saving the son of God from the jaws of the stray dog that had kidnapped the thing from the nativity scene outside the church. 

Eddie had seen Steve take down three Demodogs with one swing of a bat, however it paled in comparison to watching Steve dive head first into action mode to chase a Jack Russell Terrier into the dumpster behind Maldives. He had returned victorious hoisting the little plastic doll above his head until he passed it on to old Mrs. Stevens to put back in it manger. 

Robin was forced to listen to how her ‘nice young man’ had saved the day for the rest of the shift and Eddie had wound her up relentlessly. Sweet revenge for the inner turmoil she had inflicted on him. 

“Robie and Stevie sitting in a tree…” Eddie teased as they watched Steve getting force fed sugar cookies from the women of the church guild.

It earned him a punch in the arm so strong it nearly knocked him off the fence where he was sitting. “It's not me who wants to be sitting in a tree-” She was about to go on a rant…

“ Our Finest gifts we bring, ” he jumped down from the fence “ To lay before the king pa rum pa pum pum So to honor him ” Eddie sung as he plucked a hot chocolate from the stand he was supposed to be manning and skipping over to Steve he presented him with his stolen bounty.

“What's this for?” Steve asked, looking down at the festive paper cup. 

“You just saved the son of god, my good sir. That deserves the finest vittles.” Eddie joked, bowing low. “Plus, you need more sugar to wash down all that sugar, sugar.” 

“That's a lot of sugar.” Steve beamed at him. Cheeks flushing. 

“Sugar and spice and all things nice, Stevie.” He knew his own face was reddening, even more so when he realized they had an audience. The ladies of the church guild were watching them both, eyes wide. 

“I am a poor boy too. ra pum pa pum pum I have no gift to bring.” Eddie sang slinking over to the woman standing next to Mrs. Wheeler and gently taking the effigy of the baby Jesus and bolting the tiny fence to secure the thing into its manger with a zip tie. Then because ‘tis the season ‘ replacing the swaddling around it with all the care of a new father, tucking in his firstborn. 

Rattling out a drumming rhythm on the wood before he straightened up, he gave a rousing chorus of the song that was well and truly stuck in his head.   

“And to think we thought you were a serial killer.” Mrs. Causey from the post office offered a sugar cookie like she hadn't just said the most bat shit crazy thing a woman in a knitted two piece wearing a pink bobble hat had ever said. 

“I never thought you would have done the things they said you did Edward.” Ms. Roberts said, nudging Mrs. Causey in the side. “I know your dad, Al made some stupid choices, but he’s a big old pussycat. Mad as a box of frogs, but wouldn't hurt a fly. I very much doubt any son of his would do such awful things.“ 

Mrs. Causey looked like she was about to say more, but Ms. Roberts hushed her up. To be fair, it was nice to hear someone say good things about his old man for a change. But he was holding off on the mad as a box of frogs until next week when he went to see his Dad on visitation. Last time he had spoken to him he was trying to persuade the guards to let him do a nativity play for the other inmates. It probably hadn’t ended well, Al Munson’s big ideas never ended well. That was why Eddie was with his Uncle Wayne after all. 

Eddie smiled his most shit-eating grin in the general direction of the good women of Hawkins, “Ah, Yeah dad has the flair for the dramatics, and I'm afraid the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. But I’ve got Steve to keep me on the straight and narrow. Isn’t that right Stevie?” He jumped the fence again, this time landing with a wobble right in front of Steve. The other man reached out to steady him, with a flourish so as not to spill his hot chocolate. “Ah, my hero, you see this ladies? You need to watch your daughters, he will sweep them off their feet next.” 

“I think we need to watch out for the pair of you Mr. Munson, you’re both quite the catch.” Ms. Roberts grinned as she started walking away. “Charming and resourceful. Quick thinking with the zip tie, maybe next year we should handcuff the baby Jesus down, less chance of a canine abduction” 

Eddie was suddenly aware that Steve still had hold of him by the waist, he jumped away as if burned. It was one thing to be close behind closed doors, quite another to be like that outside and in front of the damn Nativity scene of all things. Eddie clocked the quick look Steve shot towards his handcuff belt, and ached to make a joke but Robin came to save the day. Demanding that they come and help with a spillage on the ice rink. 

Still Eddie couldn’t help but feel that every time he looked up to talk to Steve, he caught the man quickly turning away, like he was already looking at him and had gotten caught. Eddie was finding it hard to believe that the redness in Steve’s face was all to do with the cold. 

○°○●•°•●○○°○○○○○○°••○○○

Christmas eve snuck up quickly. And with it Robin’s relentless teasing somehow increased. 

Every time she walked past now she would sing the stupid little drummer boy song, but now she had alternative words for the damn thing, and every time Eddie heard it over the speakers it instantly reminded him of Steve’s existence. Because Robin was a cruel and evil being sent to drive him to his own despair. 

“Don’t stare at Steve’s bum, pum pum pu pum pum”  Robin sang as she rounded him on the outskirts of the candy cane village, dressed as a jolly little elf arms full of mystery gifts for the meek and mild, or whatever it was kids were supposed to be, he hadn’t been paying attention in that part of the class. Thankfully, Steve was busy perfecting the piles of presents, attempting to make them stay in neat stacks, it would have been easier if he wasn't struggling with the stupid elf costumes Joyce had bullied them all into. He kept tugging the ill-fitting trousers from where his butt cheeks were trying to consume the itchy material. Eddie wasn't fairing much better but he at least had less to deal with in the ass department. It was hard to pull out a wedgie when you jingled all the way. 

 On the plus side, they had gotten off lightly, Hopper was currently dressed as a very unconvincing Santa Claus, and the rugrats had been roped into dressing as Angels and were currently caroling next to the tree- the lights kept flickering and they all kept exchanging worried glances, or at least they had until El glared the bulbs into submission. 

To make matters worse, Steve started to sing the song under his breath all the damn time now. Eddie was getting some sort of twisted pavilion response to the tune. He was like a mouse looking for a treat. Whenever he heard that man offer his little drumsticks up to the little baby king he perked up and automatically sought big King Steve. And he was pretty sure Steve had cottoned on to him. Because whenever the song came on the festive rotation, right between Wham and David Essex, Steve was within viewing range of Eddie's new superpower. 

It was hopeless he was hopeless, and right now he couldn't escape, not the same 24 Christmas songs on repeat or Steve and his peachy bum bu bum bum - fucking Robin! 

The sound of bells jingling signaled Robin's return just as the telltale drumming started up through the speakers .

“If I hear this song one more time, I’m going to jail.” 

Eddie nearly knocked himself out spinning on the spot. He hadn't expected Steve to sneak up to him when he jingled and jangled more than any one man should. Eddie hadn't noticed that the crowd had thinned, it must be time for Hopper's grand entrance. At least they only had to man the grotto and the sugar heart attack that was the line. Argyle and Jonathan were manning the slay. 

“I thought you liked the little drummer boy?” Eddie rocked back on his feet trying not to look like Steve hadn't scared the ever living shit out of him.

“I do, but we hear it like sixty times a day, not including the wonderful remixed version you and Robin seem to have penned in your downtime.” Steve cocked an eyebrow, “Who knew Steve and bum could be used in so many creative ways?” 

Eddie nonchalantly looked across the square, pretending to watch the Santa procession. He felt Steve step towards him, this time he jingled. He must have been ninja as fuck to get the drop on Eddie, because every minute movement was like crisp Stereo sound right now. 

“Oh, come on Eds I totally set you up for that one, not even a ‘that's what she said’ joke? You're probably already on the good list, I mean saving the world has to be worth at least that right.” Steve's voice quietened towards the end, as if something had caught his attention. 

He chanced a look at Steve from below the rim of his elf hat that he had pulled down further both to hide from Steve's questioning gaze, and protect himself a little more from the snow that had begun to gently fall. Steve was ignoring him now watching the white flecks falling, the first of the year. It wasn't the same now, not when it looked too much like the particles that had engulfed them and blocked out the sun. The haunted weary look crossed Steve's face and Eddie wanted to do anything to replace it with that content smile he had seen for the last two weeks. 

“I write you a ballad about that peachy ass of yours, and all you do is complain.” 

“You missed the ra pum pa pum pum” Steve pointed out, but the frown was gone, replaced with a smirk. He looked like the epitome of a bad idea. But bad ideas were something Eddie excelled at. 

Eddie suddenly felt brave, there was a first time for everything. 

“Ass doesn't fit the rhythm. It's got to be bum or butt, Dustin's A big butt head pa rumpa pum pum. See, fits the pattern. Has Weird Al taught you nothing?” 

“I mean he's taught me how to make a damn fine sandwich.” He shrugged, shuffling forward and flicking the bell that hung on the end of Eddie's elf hat. 

It rang out its happy little tune as Eddie focused on that and not the fact that Steve was up close, right in his personal space. Like how was he supposed to function with this blatant discard for his boundaries? If Eddie’s brain would like to send his body an answer on a postcard, he was happy to receive its feedback. 

Was it hot in here? Had someone turned on the space heater? Had Eddie or Steve accidentally set fire to their stupid polyester and wool crimes against fashion? 

Was it just him? Was he having a stroke? Was this some dormant form of upside down rabies? If it was, Robin would kill him. He had bitten her only last week when trying to stop her stealing the remote at Steve's place. She had bitten him first; it was only fair. But if it was rabies at least death by Robin would be a quicker way to go, then whatever was making his heart drum in his chest like the warm-up act to Megadeth.  

Steve tapped the bell on the end of Eddie’s hat again, he was trying to do it in time to the jolly HO HO HO of Hopper over the speakers, but he failed miserably. Still Eddie watched every little movement, like he was about to sit a SAT on Steve Harrington and he had to pass or there would be grave consequences for his immediate future.

“You're the musical one okay. I haven’t got a musical bone in my body-” Steve was grinning at him now, a bright thing that made his eyes sparkle in the twinkling rainbow lights of the sugar plum grotto. One eyebrow was sneaking dangerously close to his hairline, it was like he was waiting for Eddie to finish his sentence, or catch up to the joke. Unfortunately for Steve Eddie’s brain had taken a mini sabbatical, it had to go somewhere to send him that postcard after all. 

“Ok what’s up, that’s the second terrible sexual innuendo I’ve set you up for and you failed me dude, where’s your head at?” Steve tapped the side of his face and Eddie turned to look at him. Nobody should look good dressed as a bloody elf, but Steve was somehow pulling it off. 

Oh shit, he was talking again and Eddie hadn’t heard a word of it. Staring at Steve’s chapped lips should really make it easier to follow the situation, but when had anything worked out right for Eddie. 

Just then the speakers kicked in and the dulcet sounds of George Micheal filled the little room around them.

“Maybe next year I'll give it to someone special”

The Santa parade must almost be over, soon this little bubble between them would be filled with sugar-filled hoodlums. But right now it was just him and Steve and in any second …

“Would you look at that, it's the song about my bum.” Steve wiggled his eyebrows and the bells on his hat jingled, but that wasn’t the thing that caught Eddie’s attention. 

The feeling of Steve’s nose brushing his own was the only thing he could grasp as real. Steve was too close. He tried to focus on him but it was making him cross-eyed.

Why was Steve so close?

Anyone would think he was trying to- oh…

“Please don’t hit me.” Steve whispered as his lips softly pressed against Eddie’s, there was a moment's hesitation as Eddie’s brain got the memo, and Steve started to pull away. Probably thinking that he was about to get up close and personal with Eddie’s rings to his face. He was, but not from a punch, Eddie somehow found the cognitive function to get his body to do what he wanted. A hand coming up to grab Steve’s face and pull him back in for a kiss, and the other one finally getting to grips with Steve’s right butt cheek. It seemed to be all Steve needed to press back in and drag Eddie into him till there was no doubt that this was what they both wanted. 

Steve made a content noise as he broke the kiss, resting his forehead against Eddie’s, filling the space between them with a chuckle.

“Did you just pat my butt in time to this song?”

“Maybe?”

“Does that make you the little drummer boy?” 

“Ah, less of the little, big boy try before you deny and all that. Stevie the real question here is are you the king, the gift or are you my drum… pum pa pum pum” Eddie dropped his other hand to Steves other cheek tap out the beat in time to the song. 

That got a dirty snort of a laugh, and it was one of the best sounds Eddie had ever heard. 

Suddenly Eddie felt like he was the bravest man in the world.

“So, am I visiting you in jail? Do they still do conjugal visits?” Eddie asked, nudging Steve's nose with his own “Do I have to start wearing dresses so I can fool the guards and have my wicked way with my jailbird of a lover?” 

“I mean, what I want to do to you would probably get me arrested in at least five states.” Steve glanced across the snowy square. The sound of the Christmas hoard moving towards them with Hopper guiding the way growing ever nearer.. The bubble of whatever the fuck this was was getting smaller by the second “But since I get to do this now-” Steve lent forward and gave Eddie a soft quick kiss, “Hopefully, whenever I want. I won't feel like I'm crawling out of my own skin when I hear this song… ra pum pa pum pum?” 

“Hey, that one almost worked!” Eddie grinned as the first of the visitors to Santa's grotto could be heard crunching up the gravel Oohing and ahhing at Rudolf and his cohorts. Hopefully nobody looked too close and realized they were actually just donkey's with fake antlers-it was dark and well the magic of Christmas was doing a lot of heavy lifting (no animals were harmed in the making of this magical wonder-but Robin had almost been kicked, more than once.) 

 Eddie, feeling bold, snuck in another quick kiss before they were thrown headfirst into the chaos of Christmas eve. They aimed for casualness as the first kids stormed around the corner to join the line. 

Robin's face was too knowing when she walked up to join them.. But Eddie was pretty sure nobody had seen anything untoward.  

“What did I miss, dingus squared?”

Robin placed herself between them and started untangling the hats from their jingling and jangling entanglement. The dangling ends of the Elf hats joined Eddie and Steve and It was obvious they had to have gotten a little up close and personal for that to have happened, “Did a Christmas miracle happen?” Robin teased as she bounced both bells back off their owners' nose. 

“Santa’s Elves can go on the naughty list you know,” Steve tried to stare her down with the same look he shot at the gremlins, but it hadn’t worked on Robin before and it wasn’t about to start doing so now. 

“Steve! Do you copy?” The walkie talkie on all their belts crackled into life with the sound of Dustin, throwing Robin and her accusations off track.

“Yeah butt head what is it?” Steve sounded annoyed but his face read as fond. 

“Fido’s back for round two, You forgot to say, over. Over.” 

Steve looked out across the square and the snow that was now bleaching down. 

“Did Fido get through the cable ties? Over.” Eddie radioed back wondering how the dog had got past his fool proof retaining method. 

“The manger is halfway down the street. Over.”

Robin looked at the line of kids waiting to go into Santa Hop, then looked at Eddie and Steve. She looked torn, and Eddie knew she was trying to decide if she wanted to tell Dustin to stuff it, or if she could last till the shift was over before getting the juicy gossip. 

“Go. Do your stupid action hero thing,” she barked at Steve. She grabbed Eddie by the wrist stopping him from following Steve on his biblical quest. “But you stay here, I need emotional support against the heaving masses,”

Steve saluted her, bouncing on his feet. He nudged Eddie with his hip as he passed. “So little drummer boy. If I don’t get back, mine after work?”

Eddie tried not to be too enthusiastic when he nodded aware that Robin’s eyes were on him. 

She looked like she was about to say something when the doors to the grotto opened and the kids in the front of the line started jostling for position to be the first to see the big man in red. 

Eddie started taking the tickets as he watched Steve dart around the waiting kids and head out into the snow. He tried not to stare at Steve's ass as he slipped on the snow but he knew he failed when Robin started ra pum pa pum puming at his side. 

“Did you tell him?” He whispered accusingly as he helped up the line with his little red rope.

“I didn’t tell him anything. You sing out loud, you big goof.” Robin didn’t have to look so smug, 

“I might have nudged him in the right direction. He wasn’t sure he had heard you right, you know I was just doing my bit, making sure that you were both barking up the right pine tree, being a good samaritan”

“I didn't know Steve was … you know?” Eddie muttered under his breath. 

“He's not, well he is… a bit. Enough to flirt with you in front of the infant king and half the ladies’ auxiliary.” Robin took the next bunch of kids tickets and waved them through the velvet rope of hope. They all looked drunk on sugar and dazed in the lights. Eddie knew how they felt.

○°●•●•●°●○•○○○°●••●○°○•●°°○

They got to the end of the long line with Eddie in a haze. Steve did not return to them until shortly after Hopper had stormed off complaining he needed at least an entire bottle of whisky to deal with the amount of kids who had asked him for a Ninja Turtle.. 

Steve hastily locked up the grotto and started toward the car, Robin charging ahead calling shotgun. she narrowly avoided the snowball thrown at her by Steve as he yelled at her to wait up. She pointedly ignored them slipping and sliding in the snow till she got her position at Steve's passenger side.

“It's ok Bucks, I know my place in the pecking order.” Eddie grinned as he slid into the back seat, however he leaned forward to interrupt the silent conversation happening between Robin and Steve. He would never understand the semaphore that was their eyebrows, but he could interrupt the signaling. 

As soon as they were outside Robin's. Eddie scrambled through the gap in the chairs to steal her place in the passenger seat. She affectionately rolled her eyes as she turned to say goodnight. 

, it’s my gift to you ra pum pa pum pum. Now you can touch Steve’s bum ra pum pa pum pum ” She sang before she slammed the door closed, flipping them both the bird. 

“She's going to try to take the credit for this, you know?” Steve said as he snaked his hand over the center console, searching out Eddie's knee to squeeze. 

“I mean, credit where it's due, I think we can blame Bing Crosby and David Bowie and their dedication to creating the most annoying earworm that rhymes with your bum.” Eddie watched as Robin pulled the door closed behind her with a wave and a thumbs up. He glanced around the street checking that nobody's curtains were twitching, all he could see was softly falling snow and HOA approved fairy lights. So he took matters into his own hands and twisted his fingers in with Steve’s, tugging him closer, unable to wait any longer. 

Steve's lips met Steve's with no resistance, he sunk into the warmth, the feel of Steve's chapped lips moving against his own, it would be easy to get lost in it. He was getting lost in it, right until a snowball hit the windscreen and shocked them apart. 

Battle mode activated and the two of them looked for the threat, only to see Robin standing in fluffy pajamas on her porch, waving at them to get a move on. 

Heart racing from more than just the shock of the snowball, Eddie flipped her off as Steve put the car into drive and the radio kicked in, the song that had started it all playing quietly as they pulled the corner towards Steve’s house. 

“Then He smiled at me pa-rum pum pum pum. Me and my drum Me and my drum.” Eddie sang as he tugged playfully at Steve’s hat, the bells ringing in time to the music, Steve’s smile lighting up the snowy night. 

He was living in a cheesy Christmas movie, but for once Eddie Munson was more than happy with that.

[moviehealthcommunity]

This pinned post contains every movie we have determined to be safe for photosensitive audiences! This will be updated as new titles enter and leave theaters. This is NOT medical advice. These are just titles to which we have given flashing lights scores of 0 or 1 out of 10.

*=currently in theaters

The 40-Year-Old Virgin 80 for Brady Abominable American Fiction Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret Away From Her A Bad Moms Christmas The Ballad of Buster Scruggs The Beguiled The Big Sick The Bikeriders Billy Madison Book Club: The Next Chapter The Breakfast Club Casablanca Challengers Cheaper by the Dozen (2022) The Christmas Chronicles A Christmas Story Christmas Christopher Robin Cinderella (2015) Clerks Cocaine Bear Coco Coming to America Crazy Rich Asians Crimson Peak Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon Cyrano Daddy's Home Daddy's Home 2 Dear Evan Hansen Dirty Dancing Dogma Dolores Claiborne Downhill Downton Abbey Drive My Car Eight Crazy Nights Eileen Elemental Elf Enemy Ever After: A Cinderella Story Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile The Fighting Preacher Five Feet Apart Gladiator Going in Style The Goldfinch Good Will Hunting Green Book Heretic The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug The Hurt Locker The Hustle I Don't Know How She Does It The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild IF In Bruges Instant Family Interview with the Vampire It Ends with Us It's a Wonderful Life Jojo Rabbit Kimi Knives Out Last Christmas The Laundromat Little Women (2019) Lizzie Logan Lucky The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring Luca Lying and Stealing Ma Rainey's Black Bottom A Madea Christmas Madea's Family Reunion Madea's Witness Protection Maleficent: Mistress of Evil Mallrats A Man Called Otto The Many Saints of Newark Marriage Story Mary Poppins Returns Mary Queen of Scots Mean Girls (2004) The Menu Miracle of 34th Street (1994) Misery Monty Python's Life of Brian Mrs. Doubtfire The Muppet Christmas Carol Muppet Treasure Island Murder Mystery Next Goal Wins Night at the Museum Office Space On the Basis of Sex Origin Pan's Labyrinth Past Lives The Perfection The Polar Express The Power of the Dog A Prayer Before Dawn Psycho (1960) Psycho (1998) Pulp Fiction The Report The Rhythm Section Rise of the Planet of the Apes Roma The Room Rudy The Santa Clause The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause Sasquatch Sunset Seven Psychopaths The Shallows Shanghai Noon Shaun the Sheep Movie The Shining Shrek the Third Smokey and the Bandit Son In Law Spencer The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) Three Thousand Years of Longing Ticket to Paradise Uncut Gems United 93 West Side Story (1961) The Whale Windfall The Wizard of Oz Women Talking Won't You Be My Neighbor? Worth Zombieland: Double Tap The Zone of Interest