#psychology today find a therapist

[recoverhealthcare]

Clinical Psychologist - Recover.healthcare

[piplupod]

searchengine dot com clicks search bar typing "how do i make peace with the fact that i am living a life that is the situation i was terrified of ending up in as a kid. how do i make peace with the fact that my younger self would've killed themself if they saw where we are now because the only reason they stayed alive was for a dream that has been relatively recently rendered impossible forever. how do i continue to pretend that i am just the same as everyone else and a-okay when i feel like i need to scream for help nearly constantly. how do i make peace with a situation that makes me feel nauseous to simply think about and remember i exist in."

[howldean]

finding low-cost mental health resources for queer people is fucking impossible istg

[panicbones]

i miss my meds for one day and have an absolute mental breakdown. the stress demons my meds keep at bay and make me seem calm and normal are incredible

[keyboard-cowgirl]

so I recently finished a year’s worth of therapy. In an effort to continue the destigmatization that’s been happening for the last decade+ and encourage others to improve their own health, here’s some stuff I’d like to share.

Yes, it is prohibitively expensive. My therapist, who specialized in the kind of issues I have, wasn’t covered by my insurance (most therapists in America aren’t covered by major insurers). I would not have been able to afford a full year without financial support. And that sucks, but if you can swing it, it can do a lot of good. (26 sessions x 135 per = $3,510 usd, over half of which I paid myself.)

I never tried in therapy before. I’ve had therapy. But I didn’t try. At the time, I did it because I had to--my family thought it would help and I was too young to be able to decline--but I didn’t care, so I didn’t make progress. It wasn’t the right time. I didn’t believe it would help. This time, I sought it out on my own. I did the fucking work, and it is fucking work.

In spite of all the personal learning and study I have done on PTSD, depression, anxiety, and chronic pain, despite how we are hounded with self-help tips and free information online, I still learned a bunch of new things about trauma and health that I didn’t know. My therapist was great and constantly challenged me. I understand myself so much better now. I give myself the space and time and patience I need to get through difficulties (and I can see them coming now! I can act instead of always reacting). I give myself grace, and I tell others what I need. I have boundaries(!!!).

After a full year, not everything is fixed. Not everything can be fixed. That shit gets baked in, and that’s biology, but it’s biology, too, to identify it. Name it. Work through my process and stop catastrophizing and keep building new patterns. I will never be a person without baggage, but fuck if I’m going to let it own me all the time. The past cannot steal my joy for the present, and the future is still an insurmountable beast of what-ifs, but I’ve got a Batman belt of tools and I’ve seen what they can do when I practice with them. That’s worth every goddamn penny.

So, yeah. Therapy. It’s my sincerest wish that you’re able to do it if you want to, that you find a good therapist, that you try. Self-improvement is hard, but don’t let the phrase fool you. “Self”-improvement doesn’t have to be single-player. You can co-op it. You can MMO it by getting help from others. Stop being a tank, go DPS and get yourself a healer.❤️

[theinstagrahame]

I keep seeing ads for BetterHelp and similar podcast-sponsoring mental health services which have horror stories. Some of these ads talk about how hard it is to find a therapist, which made me wonder: Are y'all as confused about how to find one as I was?

I went searching for a new therapist a couple of years ago, and had no idea where to start, honestly. My doctor recommended the Psychology Today website, but beyond that: what do? Call all of them and hope we click? Dust off the phone book and point to a random page in the P section? Go down the list alphabetically until I find one that I like?

My partner lucked out and immediately clicked with the first person their PCP suggested. A lot of my friends described just going and seeing if it worked out--and that had been my process previously.

I didn't really want to try that again, so I went with a new process. Which I think worked out well? I'm happy with my therapist, and have been seeing them for... somewhere between a year and 2 years. But, as I don't think I'm that unique, figured I'd write down what I did in case it helped someone else:

(This is presented with a lot of caveats. I have insurance, so that was part of my process. I was looking mostly for like, talk therapy. Someone with a need for more specialized care may need to make some adaptations.)

Step 1: go to the Psychology Today website (recommended by my Doctor). At least in mid 2023, they have a "Find a Therapist" tool front and center of the page.

Step 2: Enter your geographical area. Then use the search filters to pare the list down to people who specialize in the stuff you want to talk about. You can also specify telehealth, and weed out anyone who's not taking new clients.

Step 3: Look at the profiles. Honestly, this part is mostly vibes. I noticed a lot of the photos of older therapists reminded me too much of my parents or friends of my parents. There were a lot of things I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to them about, so I looked for someone I could imagine as a friend. Several of them also had short self-marketing paragraphs on their profiles, which I also took into consideration.

I'm calling this part out as important. I wanted to scout out someone who I'd feel comfortable talking to. One or two I crossed off my list because their writing felt "too hippy" for my comfort level. Here, you should ask yourself what you want in a therapist. If you're looking for someone with that air of parentitude, absolutely go for it. Finding a good fit therapist is 100% about comfort, so check in with yourself here. (Optional: You can also look at reviews on some insurance websites and/or Google for additional insight into the therapist's work)

Step 4: Compile a list of therapists you're interested in contacting. I went with 2-3, but honestly, given the state of the United States Healthcare System, 5+ is maybe a safe bet. Because the next step is...

Step 5: Open your Health Insurance website, and use their "Find a Therapist" tool. Use a similar geographical radius as earlier.

Step 6: Cross-reference your list with your health insurance website. Nix any that aren't covered (unless you *really* want to meet with them and see if you can work something out).

Step 7: Contact your top 2-3 picks. When I did this, I got emails back from 2 of them, both of whom were currently full, but expected to have availability in a couple of months. I waited, and went with the first one who got back. I like my therapist a lot!

Step 8: Go for a few sessions. If they don't bring it up (mine did), ask about what to do if you don't feel like it's a good fit. They're professionals, and shouldn't take it personally. Talk early and often about whether you both feel like it's a good match.

Note: This is about as important as Step 3, because your Vibes can lead you astray, but 1000%, you need to feel comfortable with your therapist. If you don't, you're just wasting their time and your money. Plus, you have a List, so if it doesn't work out, you can just hit the next name.

Truth be told, this was a process that spanned a couple of weeks (plus the waiting for availability). Partially because getting help is scary, so I had to work myself up to some parts of it. Partially because some steps did require me to ask myself uncomfortable questions about what I was looking for, and I had to work myself up to those answers. I'm also pretty sure I have undiagnosed ADHD, so like, easy to lose focus on this. But, making incremental progress was super helpful, and I did eventually get to the end.

Bear in mind: your mileage may vary. Your insurance options may vary. I am not a doctor, lawyer, or expert in anything here. I'm just some guy, you know?

Take what parts of this feel right, ignore the ones that don't--or that don't apply.

[musical-chick-13]

Nothing will ever compare to Love Is War because it’s the only piece of media I’ve ever seen that conveys just how much having romantic feelings for someone SUCKS.

[twistcmyk]

Being trapped behind your eyes sounds like dissociation. What helped me is finding a trauma-informed therapist I jive with (using psychology today if ur in the us you can sort by insurance and ethnicity, gender, and sexuality so you can find someone who has more similar experiences) if you can’t find a therapist, focusing on grounding and also journalling when you feel more dissociated can help

this ask got me to finally look up & send an e-mail to a therapist, thank you!

[star-girl69]

i think aphrodite kid reader x clarisse is simply just better??? like the trope is just superior??? like, we have clarisse who is tough, and mean and one of the strongest people at camp, then we have reader who is kind and compassionate and really doesn’t care all that much about fighting. so naturally, clarisse is super protective and treats reader like a princess?? how could people dislike it 😔😔

no exactly and i actually must write about this - basically this is just all about the little things clarisse does for her perfect princess angel daughter of aphrodite gf (me!!!!!!)

okay as payment for my absence please accept some shitty headcanons I LOVE YOU ALL BYEEEE

she’s just always DOING THINGS FOR YOU

she’s so perceptive and she always knows exactly what you want and need even if you don’t know it yourself

like if you like wearing high heels one) clarisse genuinely wonders what is wrong w you

she sees no practicality in them bc there isn’t lol

but also she’s like omg???? MY GF feels safe enough around me to wear shoes she can’t run in???? WHAT JOY!!!!!!!!!

and you’ll come back to your cabin being all ugh omg my feet hurt so bad laying on the bed and putting your feet UP

and clarisse is like “well i could have told you that”

excuse me????

“don’t get me wrong baby you look gorgeous and i love you wearing heels but it’s your funeral”

“DIE”

she just laughs and takes your shoes off

she’ll continue to bully you as she’s literally massaging your feet like ok girl yeah we see you

clarisse is also a MENACE about making sure you eat

“did you eat today?”

“babe you SAW me at lunch”

“just making sure….”

you’re just so kind and amazing and clarisse loves you so much but you are not the best at fighting!

she is constantly stressed when you’re not by her side

bc no one loves you like her who will protect you 💔💔💔💔

when someone takes advantage of you she gets so PISSED OFF

bc it’s not like someone is beating you up it’ll be like someone is using you as their personal therapist or smth and you’re just like “pls go speak to an actual professional wtf 😭😭😭”

and she’s so pissed off bc WHY IS THIS BITCH PSYCHOLOGICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY TORTURING HER GIRL??????

she’s not afraid to beat people up for you and actually enjoys it!

anyways, clarisse is also a koala bear

and an emotionally stunted caveman

she’s not good with her words so these actions are all she has to show you that she loves you

idk if y’all have noticed but clar rarely saying ily to y/n bc it’s my personal headcanon that she has such a hard time saying those words. she shows you she loves you but for some reason it’s just so hard to get the words out. (…BC SHE IS AN EMOTIONALLY STUNTED CAVEMAN)

so she quickly adapts to do all these little things

if you’re walking down a flight of stairs trust she is holding your hand

QUEEN of opening jars for you

if you’re not feeling well or you’re tired or just feeling lazy she’ll bully someone into doing your chores for you

also this bitch is NOT afraid to stand up for you and make sure you get what you deserve.

like that one meme

“UM… she said NO PICKLES… you fucking dumbasses…”

“CLARISSE 😭😭😭”

also like in “better than revenge” she loves to watch you do your makeup

finds it so fascinating that you can only get PRETTIER

like she’s okay at makeup but you can do that shit perfectly like standing on your head

you make it seem so effortless

she’s not a HUGE makeup girly but sometimes she’ll let you just go crazy

so you can sit on top of her….. that one sapphic meme yes…..

also she’s constantly bragging about you

“yeah… i have the prettiest gf in camp… y’all are just losers what can i say”

ofc if anyone were to agree w her she would go insane

“yeah y/n is so pretty”

“um ok yeah you don’t have to say it i say it enough….”

even if one of your siblings gives you a compliment she’s like HOLD THE FUCK ON- then she remembers THATS YOUR SIBLING ITS OK and she’s like oh this is so embarrassing.

will she stop? no ofc not

she’s constantly telling you how pretty you are. beautiful. gorgeous. exquisite. all the words

loves kissing you all over

KISSES YOUR HAND 🤭🤭

anyways going back to the clarisse koala bear agenda that got away from me

she’s just always touching you

hand on the small of your hand guiding you somewhere

hand around your waist

SITTING IN HER LAP AT CAMPFIRES

no matter what type of hair you have she’s obsessed w it. if you have pin straight hair she’s so obsessed w the fact that you don’t need a huge curl routine like her, finds it fascinating

if you do have curls she loves doing a curl routine together

whatever whatever type of hair you have she’s obsessed with it and will wash it for you if you want

so soft and lovingly like a more of a scalp massage than a hair washing

will brush your hair for you, braid it for you, anything you like just OBSESSED

she loves when you like sit on top of a picnic table and then she gets to sit in between your legs on the bench thinks it’s so so fun and so so silly

she LOVESSSSS sleeping w you OBVI.

on top of you, you on top of her, she’s a koala bear. like entirely wrapped around you

partially bc she is as aforementioned a koala bear and partly bc she is overprotective even in her sleep

if you move in the middle of the night even just a little bit

she’s a super light sleeper i feel like

always on the guard fr ✊

a little bit better when you’re there tho

so if you move in the middle of the night she’ll just like caress your hair and kiss your cheek and try to shush you back to sleep

like bitch you’re still asleep have you never heard of ADJUSTING? MOVING? SHIFTING?

hope you’re not one of those people who has to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night bc with clarisse that will stop

you can’t abandon her even for 2 minutes even for basic bodily functions like you just can’t it’s so inconsiderate to her… 💔

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish @rebecca37 @saltair-and-palemoonlight @ace-spades-1

[missveryvery]

Made its own post about this (instead of a reblog with this info)

Something companies like betterhelp and talkspace don't want you to be aware of:

You do not need to use betterhelp or talkspace or other similar companies to get telehealth

(telehealth is a commonly used term for health care provided over video calls). Instead of going through a company like betterhelp to find a therapist, just look for a therapist the way you normally would and see if they're listed as having a "telehealth" option, or if it's mentioned on their website. You can also call them and ask.

There are several companies that are HIPAA compliant that work with healthcare providers like doctors and therapists to provide secure video calls. Some examples are doxy and therapyportal.

These are sites that professionals use to treat their patients. Some are a part of things called EHR-S or "Electronic Health Record Systems", so the healthcare provider can keep billing and records and things organized.

To find a therapist, use therapist directories that do not ask you to take an assessment/ provide any information.

Two examples are:

NetworkTherapy

PsychologyToday

Your insurance will usually also have an "in-network" provider search, too.

Here's Psychology Today's search (I put in New York, New York just for an example):

The little 🎥 camera icon indicates that they provide online services. On the first example you can see it says she's online only. Whereas in the second you can see she provides both in-person and online care.

[transmutationisms]

Hi do you have any brainy thoughts on the disney movie inside out (and the sequel). My family and i went to go see inside out 2 today and i kind of hate it. Theres something about presenting an office, its warehouse and all the associated mechanisms as the objective truth of our minds that i dont especially like, but i dont really care about that ultimately. But what i do hate is the idea that we all feel the exact same emotions which can each be neatly identified and delineated, to the point that they act as entirely separate people in our heads. People who dress and look the same no matter who you as an individual are outside of extremely surface level changes (maybe). But I'm having a hard time articulating precisely what I dont like about it. In your studies have you read about like ... the taxonomy of emotions or sensations ? Many therapists value the idea of each emotion being readily identifiable with a name. They have charts about it. It feels all in service of an understanding of ourselves rooted in flawed psychological frameworks. One in which the literal "mood disorder" exists

congrats on the only disney anon i would probably ever answer. yeah i saw the first inside out in like 2018 or 19 really stoned and this also pissed me off. in general when people start trying to present living things in really tidy taxonomical schemata i am immediately suspicious; what's being done is not 'reading' this or that out of nature but actively interpreting a phenomenon according to some set of predetermined rules or distinctions. in psychology this especially gained popularity toward the end of the 18th century and into the 19th: the notion of discrete brain 'functions' was the foundational assumption of phrenologists, and also intimately tied up with the idea that 'emotions' / affective states could be neatly distinguished, delineated, named, and ordered.

it's a really curious sort of dualism that ends up taking hold, esp in much of the anglo and german literature, where you the subject are configured as, on the one hand, a conscious experience resulting from your material brain, and yet, on the other hand, distinct enough from that very brain to experience a kind of dysphoric disjunction from its operations. in inside out, this is dramatised quite literally, as a conflict between the protagonist and the independent entities that 'are' her emotions (where the medium even allows each to be protrayed by a different actor!)---a better work might interrogate this schizophrenic conception of selfhood and ask, for instance, if such a portrayal of a split self is intended to resonate with many people's everyday experience, what is it that distinguishes the 'pathologically' fractured consciousness, and what does this suggest about what's at stake for those who seek to understand affective experience by naming and categorising it...?

& i do also find the warehouse metaphor odious haha. such a throwaway choice on the part of the filmmakers, but one that really speaks to both a failure of imagination (all forms of social organising must be one that i am already familiar with, even in a fully fictional and animated story) and a somewhat disturbing conception of human interiority (i would argue there's a continuity here from using the labourer-owner metaphor in a dramatisation of the mind, to broader attitudes about human dominion over 'nature').

[findmeinthefallair]

An Uncommonly Discussed Trauma Symptom

Disclaimer: This is in no way a substitute for therapy: it’s only psychoeducation. Please consult a therapist and/or hotline and get the help you need if you are experiencing mental health difficulties, especially if experiencing distress or issues that feel unmanageable.

Warnings: Mentions and discussion of suicidal ideation, death, abuse and violence.

Special thanks to @ashanimus and @childlikegoblinqueen

Ever heard of "the sense of a foreshortened future"?

If you have suffered trauma over a sustained and long enough period of time, you may find that you can't imagine yourself living long. You can't see yourself reaching milestones, because it hardly makes sense to your mind that you can go on for that long...given how much you have felt like you've escaped danger, given just how many close calls you have had in life.

Yet the sense of a foreshortened future is a separate thing from suicidality.

If you have both of those together though, it really isn't fun because they may feed one another in a cycle, in the way that symptoms under the same mental health condition have the potential to do the same.

It isn't a desire for pain to end (which is what suicidality is), more so a generated expectation that takes root, and a framework which a survivor tries to fit their experiences into, with the goal to get things to make as much sense as can be. Because it's often the easier thing to devise a simple formula, to feel certainty and to manage one's expectations: rather than embrace the grey areas of uncertainty about how life will turn out.

It's almost as if this feeling of a foreshortened future is in a tug-of-war match between what appears to be solid reasoning, and a person's natural survival instinct along with the hunger for a meaningful life.

This symptom isn't on the *official* criteria for a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist to make any diagnoses, it is not listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) or International Classification of Diseases, 10th Revision (ICD-10). But informally it is sometimes categorized as an avoidance symptom under both PTSD and Complex PTSD, and also under longer-term depression.

(however, I think it can extend to other conditions. The key criteria is it emerges from repeatedly experiencing horrible things until it makes sense in one's head to expect themselves not to last much longer)

If you hop onto Google Scholar to find proper research about it, the findings are very scarce because it's hard to define it, empirically measure it and quantify it in the first place.

Again, it's not the same as suicidal ideation because a foreshortened-future view is an expectation, while the latter is about a desire.

I wasn't taught about this symptom in any training and supervision before becoming a licensed therapist, nor did any of my own therapists bring it up as psychoeducation when I saw them. It was only through online articles on informal websites that I stumbled upon the phrase and it all clicked for my long-term experiences.

But I feel it is good knowledge for anyone providing psychotherapy to bear in mind.

In The Owl House, the grimwalker lore weaved into Hunter's arc, can shockingly be linked with this symptom, symbolically and thematically.

But the show's age rating means it would likely be too dark for the writing team to explicitly incorporate it into Hunter's dialogue.

Hunter was a lamb marked for the slaughter early on.

He has questioned his survival and ability to thrive.

The following article on Psychology Today describes Belos's long-term influence on Hunter pretty well and provides info that strengthens the points I'm making in this whole post:

Link

It's bad enough that before Hunter and Luz found Belos's mindscape, he struggled with the fear of failure to the extent that there was already the raging inner battle between his primal survival instinct and the already knackered part of him that sought eternal rest from his suffering (showing up as suicidal thoughts):

Fast forward a number of episodes...and we see the looming horrors in Hollow Mind that culminated in Hunter's discovery of what his predecessors went through:

followed by permanent rejection by his parental figure:

The power held by a foreshortened-future view, and its potential to isolate you - to make you feel like you're invisible, or a ghost - can be strong.

What Hunter said to Gus in the following screencaps sums up what it feels like pretty well:

In the context of having an abuser, it emerges from the negative beliefs they impose on you. It gets tricky if those beliefs are internalized, and which may remain internalized even after you get to safety and away from said abuser. Internalized until they become what you expect of your life.

It's about those thoughts which you know in your rational mind are lies, but you feel their apparent truth. They go more silent when you practice self-care but they return to try and reel you in again, and to a degree, they succeed in getting you to believe them all over again, before you renounce them once more.

Being in the C-PTSD Club along with Hunter, I personally experience the feeling of a foreshortened future as a voice deep down which almost always says that life feels too long and it therefore feels absolutely weird, like it doesn't make sense. Life feels too long, contrary to that commonly heard cheesy quote, "Life is too short to blah blah blah".

When I reached milestone birthdays like my 21st, it was confusing and made me irritable, feeling an itch deep down that I could not scratch.

The voice asks me why the heck I'm still around when it apparently doesn't make sense. It's a pervading feeling which can be pretty annoying, though I have it far enough in the background that it's like noise instead of being a source of distress.

It's not the easiest thing to explain this, but Hunter may have confusing thoughts creeping into his head like "Caleb didn't last long, why would I?" whereby such thoughts have a strange feel to them. They aren't exactly hard rules, nor are they distant enough that they can be easily brushed aside. Brain hurty, emotions spooky.

After the horror of this night:

I can definitely see Hunter wrestling with this symptom from time to time. No doubt. It was a major loss of autonomy and control that would significantly aggravate what was already brewing deep down.

I'm doubtful that the crew even established this on purpose (unless they actually consulted trauma experts and/or experienced mental health practitioners), but...this one symptom ties in with grimwalker lore so perfectly...it's hella fascinating that all Hunter's predecessors' lives (including Caleb's) were cut short. Prematurely.

They came with an expiry date set by their abuser: something very characteristic of this foreshortened future feeling, though not unique to survivors of abusive home environments (e.g. if you experienced natural disasters over many years, yet had a loving family, you could also feel like you may not live long). And Hunter's experience of seeing the grimwalker graveyard in Hollow Mind is a shockingly visceral and visual metaphor to symbolize a concept like this, which matches perfectly with his symptomology as a Complex PTSD survivor.

The battle for inner peace has a high price: it is ongoing, and extends beyond him being physically free from Belos. Because Hunter can't just trim away the Belos-related memories from his earliest years and formative years. He can't forget, but he can choose to give those memories less attention, and choose not to let them take the steering wheel in the long-term.

In my opinion, the possession scenes don't just portray the physical experience of an abuser returning to try regaining control or restoring the status quo of having the survivor in their grasp.

The scenes also represent the abuser's imprint upon the survivor that lasts beyond the duration for which Belos is present in Hunter's life. Belos is the kind of abuser that is so insidious that he knows he could leave some marks that outlast his directly physical presence, in the event that he meets his own end. He would have definitely thought about this. Leaving the kind of grisly reminders that won't ever technically fade away (not to be confused with how they can certainly "fade further into the background" via therapy, new positive experiences and the support of loved ones).

For example, the patterns of the permanent scars on Hunter look so much like the patterns on Philip's own face and body. When possessed, the markings were dark green, later faded to the colour of scar tissue once Belos leaves his body.

As we all know, it's hella sad to imagine Hunter having to look at himself in mirrors throughout the rest of his life. It was awful enough that he had the haircut-related panic attack.

If we tie all that back to the symptom of a foreshortened-future view: Hunter might be left with a spooky nebulous feeling (that will alternate between coming back to haunt him, and subsiding) that he too has some expiry date that is different from how the people around him naturally and confidently expect to live a substantially long life. As a cult survivor with C-PTSD, Hunter can't afford the luxury of those natural expectations.

I don't mean that he might plan a day in the future to end his own life, not at all. But he may have a strange ghostly expectation of how long more he has till his life may come to an end, and he wouldn't be sure of how this subconscious expectation came about.

The darker days of navigating the confusing mess of his complex trauma may feel like exhaustion from paddling and swimming to keep your head above water to breathe.

Speaking of water and drowning, plus the theme of sinking down vs. rising back up above the water surface...the fact that Camila jumped in to bring him back up, his friends helped to pull him out, and Flapjack passes new life to him...this is also some crazy powerful symbolism for surviving complex trauma.

Falling back on a support network, your "tribe", that won't abandon you.

My other Hunter analyses (link) go into more detail about his support network and why he needs it.

I was talking to a friend about all this: she has relevant lived experience and mentioned that poor Hunter would reach a milestone birthday and perhaps cry at least a bit on that day, maybe even during the birthday party: out of sheer confusion. The confusion would be silently screaming "But...this doesn't...make sense?". And he might feel confusing waves of darker emotions along with a strange sense of joy.

He may make a decision to start a family with Willow, and a confused questioning voice will bother him now and then with "How are you still here, doing this and living to see this?".

(...also, when is his birthday...? Is it documented in some Emperor's Coven records that they will find..? Even the mere concept of having a birthday is messed up for him to think about, given the purpose behind his creation)

Complex trauma changes its survivors' relationships with the world, not just with people, and this can even apply to their relationships with things like joy and how joy is experienced.

Flapjack's absence would have bred survivor's guilt. It might translate into Hunter questioning whether he is worth the love and effort his friends put in for him. This feeling could emerge at random moments over the years in his life.

Visually, I feel that these two frames - the lighting (which I'd say is unique among all his scenes because they are parts of his arc that stand out so much), his pose, his expression - somehow capture the experience of how complex trauma is chronic and long-term:

The currently most known C-PTSD memoir out there, What My Bones Know by journalist Stephanie Foo, has some content that I feel matches nicely with what Hunter is experiencing in the two separate scenes above.

The author describes something she calls "the dread" (if you get the book, it's first mentioned on page 51). I would call it the amalgamation of multiple things such as shame, the fear of impending harm, self-doubt where you question whether you did something wrong, fearing that someone hates you, etc.

And basically, good lord my poor boy in the first screenshot..with that expression of suspecting what he thought was Belos's presence in the room: something about it fits the book author's words, feeling like she was "on the precipice of fucking everything up".

That's certainly something that would cross Hunter's mind multiple times as he processes the worst night of his life. That he could have done something to prevent all that.

With so much pre-existing worry that his friends and family might actually hate him, the possession scenes and Flapjack's death would definitely shake his foundation and I'm sure he isn't past this kind of ingrained thought pattern at all:

Second, the book author calls C-PTSD a shapeshifting "beast" (page 316). And when she fights it, she must use a different strategy depending on what form it takes, and that it will keep coming back from time to time in another form. Which is why there is a particular exhaustion one feels from having to adapt to each battle.

For Hunter, the second screencap of him fighting Belos's coercion in a direct physical manner is the first of many battles he has to win in his mind, even after Belos is gone for good. Outlasting whatever invisible assailant is trying to get him, as he faces inevitable episodes of being retraumatized in the future: these are called emotional flashbacks (one of the symptoms of C-PTSD).

Being a survivor of complex trauma who experiences a weird sense of time via a foreshortened-future view, can feel like being on the outside looking in.

But! To end this meta on a hopeful note, I should reiterate something from my most recent long meta about Retraumatization vs. Self-Soothing, the first part of Hunter's important speech in Thanks to Them touches on wild magic and palisman. Wild magic represents freedom, while palismen (quoting the Bat Queen) represent close bonds in relationships, emotion, and conviction.

Applying this to how we can navigate the swampy waters of a foreshortened-future view, Hunter can use his newfound freedom and sense of agency to create the story he'd like to tell about his life. It is pretty much impossible to avoid bringing beliefs from our young formative years into adulthood. But expectations (which have a direct link with emotions we end up feeling) of ourselves and of life can be altered over time, so they become less rigid and instead more open to new possibilities.

He has an inquisitive mind which is a big plus point in understanding the impact of what he has been through, and I have full faith that he'll do just fine in that regard because of the courage we have seen in him.

Among the hobbies he explores in the future, flyer derby will be one example of an excellent outlet for him because of its physicality: trauma and grief are not only emotional battlegrounds but also highly physical ones. The body is also very much involved e.g. feeling the lead-like weight of depressive moods in one's body, feeling the physical tension of hypervigilance, etc.

It's fantastic that he has Luz, Willow, Gus and company, he will have a very meaningful career, and he'll have everyone else in his large found family.

His story...his heart...his resilience and vitality...it's all truly inspirational.

We might learn even more about the grimwalkers in the finale and that would undoubtedly prompt me to do a shorter Part 2 on top of this meta.

[scrubbinn]

Mimic HRT: 20 months “Broken patients”

“Ah Ms.Mulberry… I, er, didn’t expect to see you. This early I mean. Making use of that outside privilege we worked so hard to get you. Of course you would. We managed to set the standard that all of your kind will keep their citizenship status until their crossroads, rather than at the start of their treatment. But, we’ll need to make sure this doesn’t happen again. Why don’t you- Ah, already taking a seat I see. So then… How are we feeling today? You seem… yourself.”

“...”

“Well, let’s see, what we can expect now is a few more days in court just to settle things, make sure the government is satisfied with the arrangements we all agreed upon. We’ll also need a few weeks to determine if this therian support group is actually reputable enough that this will count towards your psychological evaluation. Recently there have been some rumors about the manager being a bit unsavory, so that will cause a delay, if not entirely set you back some time. Really now, you must have realized finding a professional therapist would have been a much safer move… Excuse me, Ms.Mulberry, can I inquire why-

“You will not. Now keep talking.”

“Ms.Mulberry you seem rather upset, perhaps-

“You’re wondering why I decided to not use my mimicry to disguise a face for myself today. Oh believe me, I would have loved to walk in here a mass of sludge with eyes and teeth all over but it turns out human society doesn’t really like that too much. Having a head with no eyes to look at is a courtesy I am giving you. It’s more than you deserve. What the fuck is all this talk of we? You weren’t even at the last fucking meeting. Our lawyer wasn’t even at the last fucking meeting!”

“You’re clearly distressed, you should leave the premises immed-

“SHUT UP! YOU DON’T GET TO TALK!... Just shut up and listen. There is no we. As far as I am aware, this bullshit lawsuit against your clinic is the most roundabout way to specifically get me into a criminal court considering this incident didn’t even take place in hyper city. The lawyer I was given is somehow less competent than you are! Do you know how much time I’ve spent these past two months learning, specifically, Hyper city legal jargon? How overly complex a nexus point’s laws have to be to account for literally anything! And you left us to sink or swim! I could pass the fucking bar exam here if I wanted to at this point! And the worst part, oh my god the worst part. It cost me everything. I can’t so much as afford a hot dog on the way back home now. Because you’re some blinding asshole who thinks I should have to pay for everything! Well you know what? Perhaps you should be the one paying now! I am going to drag you down into the mud with me. Do you really think I don’t know why you never showed up, why I had to do everything? Because what's one experiment to you? Scape-goat, lab-rat, guinea pig, a mimicry of something human no longer. The second your clinic was in the clear, you left me to fend for myself. I can't believe I had an ounce of pity for you. When you comforted my decision to stop at my crossroad I actually thought you cared about me. That there was someone that could understand my fears!”

“Mayday that was what I was doing! I saw someone in pain and I did my best! I-

“Your best?! Oh my. Ha. Hahahaha. You don't even get it yourself do you? No you idiot! You comforted us because you saw the last shred of our humanity and told us to never let go of it. You're not clever Theodore. Inside that mind of yours whether you admit it or not, the second we start this treatment, you see all of us as inferior and beneath you. You self-righteous bastard. You know what, how about I let you talk. Won't cut you off this time. I want you to explain to me what your goal is. Why do you help us when you could simply refuse? Why put yourself through this? 

“And if I don’t feel the need to justify my actions to someone threatening me? What if I were to call security to drag out a crazed patient? What would you do then?”

“What would I do? I'll know the second you push that panic button, and we both know what we can do to a human body. Don’t make me go through that again.”

“Right then, I suppose I'll have to give you a truth that will satisfy you in this clear state of psychosis brought about by a clear lack of sleep and several stressors.” 

“We both know you're nowhere near trained to be a psychiatrist. Stick to working with hormone levels Mr. endocrinologist.”

“You want the truth? Fine, How's about this? Some witch had weird friends and made a promise of a lot of money if I sold her magic as a medicine. Happy? No? Of course not! That's not what you're asking you frea- No. I won't let you get the better of me. You want to know why I stuck around. Why after all these years I haven't retired… I really could, couldn't I. There are other doctors, for over a year I haven't been the only one supplying this stuff. I've had my fair share of attacks both verbally and physically from both sides of this city. I'm not sticking around because I have to, I've made enough breakthroughs and connections to create my own hormonal formulas without the need of the witch who dragged me in this business in the first place. There are so many reasons to retire and let my legacy live on in the scientific textbooks of all worlds. But no. The truest reason I fight for this clinic is to see people who walk through these doors happy! I see dozens of brilliant and kind souls walk through this door, ones who had the unfortunate fate of being born in the wrong body! I am giving my time, life, reputation, and money to help people because that is its own rewar- Stop growling! You said no interruptions!”

“Well you're clearly lying to yourself if you actually think seeing us happy is your end goal. Or were you not paying attention when I had to remind you that you abandoned me in a court case that shouldn't have even legally happened. They spent half their time trying to get the victim, my god damn girlfriend, to indict me as a crazed lunatic. If their goal was to crush me mentally and physically then they succeeded. Otherwise it was just a waste of time. I can’t even fathom how much time they must have if spending it going after an otherkin that slightly bothered them is possible! There is one thing that I got out of it though. There is one glimmer of light in this forsaken tunnel. Because that useless lawyer let me get a look at all the documentation of this clinic. Maybe the reason for this case was just for them to get a look at it. Find something to pin you with. Either way I guess everything you do is legal since they never went after you about it. But still, getting to read everything you’ve ever done has been quite the eye opener. Every experiment and procedure you’ve ever done.”

“And? As you already said, everything I’ve done is above the board and… Wait, you couldn’t possibly think of leaking those to the general public? You shouldn't even have them anymore. Making copies like that is illegal! If you leak those documents then you’ll go down with me. This is all a bluff to you.”

“Erian, you should know better than anyone how well we can disappear. Or how well we could make you disappear. Besides, for the record, I never said I made copies, but perhaps I might have. I just want you to know exactly where we stand. You hurt me, but I’m not so petty as to hurt you back. Instead you’re going to give me a job here. As an assistant.”

“This might be the worst job interview I’ve ever held. You do realize blackmail makes an awful resume don’t you? But I can’t exactly decline now can I. Tell me Mayday. What happened to the young woman who came here scared yet excited for a better life? You once said you wanted to work here before, but resort to this kind of behavior. Why even take a job here? It would make your bargaining chip even worse for you than for me?”

“Look, despite everything. What you’ve done to us, what you’ve done to others. Everything I learned. I, don't hate you. It’s not in my nature. I am quite literally doing this because it is my only option to not starve. And despite my attempts to hate you this whole confrontation I can't hold onto it for long. I get that what you think you're doing is some greater good for therians. But you're not the misunderstood hero you think you are. You're just seeking attention. Doesn't matter if it's good or bad you just end up making awful problems for everyone in the name of research that at best, will only ever appear in a science textbook, and you know that. Look, it's ok, I get what it’s like to seek that sort of validation. I could help you. Please, just give me the job.”

“You are wrong about me Mayday, you consider me obsessed with my image of a hero but perhaps your delusions about me are simply your obsession. I don't have a choice in giving you a job. I suppose I'll find something for you that's out of the way. I can’t say I'm excited to work with you. But perhaps you'll make a good legal advisor for now if you're as well versed in law as you say you are. No, trusting you with that would be a mistake, we’ll start you off as a janitor perhaps, I’m sure your body’s makeup should help you in that field. Besides, janitors are already basically invisible to everyone else, I’m sure your mimic mind would prefer that.”

“Oh no, we are not ending this conversation like that. Legal advisor? Janitor? Are you trying to make us angry again? No, I'm staying as far away from those kinds of positions as possible! You'll be paying for my degree and I'm working directly as an assistant. This isn't something you can negotiate!”

“I think you’ll find that it is! Because as far as I’m concerned, you’ll settle for any job. You don’t have the power to demand what position I find for you. The second you have this job, it becomes too valuable to destroy. You will accept this role or you will sink us both. Do I make myself clear?”

“I- I could attack you. You know a bite from me could kill you! I’ll do it!”

“You’ve already played your hand Mayday, I know most of this conversation was just a bluff from you anyways. Be thankful that, if I feel generous enough, I’ll forget this little incident when the time comes that I can secure this clinic’s future without fear of your threats. I do see many brilliant souls walk through this door. It’s a shame you weren’t one of them. But, I’m someone who cares about my patients despite your attacks on my character. I’ll give you one last chance to convince me why I shouldn’t give you the worst possible job I could find.”

“I- You’re right. This is just a bluff. I can’t even call it a roar, this is just my last whimper before I lose everything. I don’t. There’s nothing left after today. Abi can’t afford to take care of me. Going back home is what caused this mess in the first place. Theo, I’m here because you are my last lifeline. You can decline my employment if you want. I never actually copied the evidence I saw. I’m just a mimic of empty threats. My last echo before I disappear. I’m just scared. We lost.”

“Mayday… You are certainly good at trying my patience as well as heartstrings. Fine then, I’ll overlook these threats of yours as brought about by desperation. You will never state to the public what rumors they might have claimed as evidence, and you will be worked down to the bone- er, tooth, as an assistant. Do I make myself clear?”

“Oh my stars thank you!”

“Please do not mention it.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Mention list: @a-shramp, @calliecwrites, @be702, @respectfulevil, @hyacinthdoll1315

@aster-is-confused, @bloodandbrandywyne, @glitchgloop, @nyxthewary, @lunadook

[multiplicity-positivity]

Info and Resources for Questioning Systems

Our old post with resources is out of date and doesn’t have that much information, so we’ve decided to put this together! Please let us know if we should make any corrections or if you have resource ideas you’d like us to add to this post.

NOTE: Before we get started, it’s so important to mention that every system should rule out trauma first before considering other origins. This is because complex dissociative disorders can present in covert ways, and function by hiding trauma from some alters. Even if you’re certain you’re not traumatized, please research and understand complex dissociative disorders before learning about other origin types. It’s possible to not remember or misunderstand trauma. Ruling it out first will save you a lot of difficulty and heartache in the future!

NOTE 2: As a system, we understand the terms “tulpa” and “tulpamancy” are cultural appropriation, and believe that as a community a different term for these systems should be selected. However, until that happens, we will continue to link handy resources for these sorts of systems.

Now, onto the resources!

This is not a complete list! If there’s any resource you’ve found useful and would like us to add, please get in touch!

Websites:

CDD (DID and OSDD-1) Specific:

Beauty after Bruises, and especially their article on myths and misconceptions about DID

Multiplied by One, a DID nonprofit that has a wealth of resources on dissociative disorders and CPTSD (and offering support for those in need!)

First Person Plural, another great nonprofit

ISSTD’s public resources

The Cleveland Clinic’s page on DID

Survivors’ Network (not to be confused with the Survivors’ Network Discord) page on DID

The National Alliance on Mental Illness’ info on dissociative disorders

DIS-SOS, a blog with tons of info on trauma, dissociation, and living with both

osdd.one, a site with information on complex dissociative disorders with a focus on OSDD-1

NAMI Michigan’s DID fact sheet

The Healthy Place’s blog on Dissociative Living

Non-CDD Specific:

What is Plurality/Multiplicity? by YoppVoice

More than One

Tulpa.io, Tulpanomicon, and Tulpa.info, all sites where tulpas, thoughtforms, willomates, and their creators can share their experiences

The Daemon Page

Daemonism 101

Manchester Metropolitan University’s Understanding Multiplicity

Plurality-Resources (traumagenic, not CDD, specific)

The Plurality Playbook, a resource for plurality in the workplace (for employees and managers)

Endogenic Hub

The Dissociative Initiative includes resources for both CDD systems and others who experience multiplicity

Soulbonding Info Carrd

Pluralpedia, a plurality wiki created and maintained by systems for systems

Podcasts:

The System Speak Podcast

The Bag System Podcast

Tumblr Blogs:

@pluraldeepdive

@system-society

@dear-systems

@plural-culture-is

@subsystems

@plurals-helping-plurals

YouTubers:

The Alexandrite System

FragmentDID

The Rings System

The CTAD Clinic

(psst! if you’re an endogenic/not-trauma formed system YouTuber, please let us know! we’d love to check out your videos and add your channel to this list!)

Other:

This Google Drive folder has 13 books on mental health, with a focus on dissociative disorders and trauma.

This Google Drive folder also has a bunch of great resources (keep in mind there are some repeats in both drives)

UTEP’s Mental Health Awareness Training infographic on dissociative disorders

Our own posts on Understanding DID, Establishing Contact with Headmates, Dissociative Amnesia, and Depersonalization vs. Derealization

Seeking help through therapy:

(specifically specialists in dissociative disorders)

Psychology Today’s search page for finding therapists who specialize in dissociative disorders

Carolyn Spring’s article, How to find a therapist for a dissociative disorder

The ISSTD’s Find a Therapist page

Websites we do NOT recommend can be found here! Note: some of the resources we’ve linked here have their own links to websites we don’t recommend. Please use your best judgement when visiting sites, and understand that we as a system DO NOT endorse the sites listed in the link above, even if we’ve included resources that link to those sites.

We hope y’all are able to find some of this useful! Again, please let us know if you have any resources you’d like us to add to this list. Thanks so much, everyone!

[no-m4gic]

Hi! I'm the anom who asked for the autistic reader and I loved your writing! So may I request the same THH characters but with a reader who's try to be the sunshine in their lives (example: help Chihiro to be himself), but is secretly depressed and hide It from them cause reader doesn't want to seem fragile?

Sorry If Is complex XD thx!

i have limited free time so i know im probably never gonna complete (another) request(s) today. also i discovered i have no idea how to write for hifumi and yasuhiro, so i'm gonna blacklist them and replace them with mukuro. felt like this request seemed like a good prompt for nagito and also i feel like i could replace ishimaru's one with komaeda's as an apology.

sorry if you wanted the girls too, i'll get on them as soon as i finish my work- i didn't have enough time to write for them. i'll write for ishimaru, too. sorry for missing a lot of characters!

p.s thanks guys for your support !! i appreciate it sm <33

that's a long title 😨

the tags are such a PAIN

~ mod sitaya

THH CHARACTERS W/ AN S/O WHO IS THEIR SUNSHINE BUT IS SECRETLY DEPRESSED

BYAKUYA TOGAMI

"damnit s/o, why didn't you tell me earlier? you know i wouldn't judge you."

money = happiness to him, so he wouldn't fully understand your pain. he'll still support you though, if you need anything he'll send one of his workers to get it for you.

i mean if you were gone, yeah, he'd definitely be upset, so whenever he couldn't understand, he'll just imagine how he'll be like if you died or something.

he'll hire a personal therapist for you, unless you want him to be your therapist... which trust me, he is not good at.

bro can't even comfort anyone without making them cry more.

since he can't comfort someone psychologically, he'll comfort them physically, though he'll only show displays of affection at home or when you guys are alone, n e v e r in public.

honestly at this point, he won't give a shit if you stain his rich people clothes with your tears, he can buy the same new clothes again.

he's not that desperate, but can you imagine byakuya singing his s/o a lullaby?

not really, but he'll tuck you into bed himself personally if you fall asleep while sobbing your eyes out.

if you don't, he'll ask if you wanna fly out of japan for awhile, on his rich people private jet.

it's the least he could do to repay you for helping him during his dark times.

MAKOTO NAEGI

"s/o. how could you hide this from me? did you think i was going to criticize you...?"

he wouldn't ask the million questions running through his head first, he'd hold you first.

you come before anything.

he'll hold you for as long as you'd like, letting you cry in his shoulder while he rubs your back and pats your head.

since you helped him show the others he isn't an 'omega male' and also chased everyone who bullied him away, he'll return the favor.

he'll tell the teacher that you weren't feeling well and needed some time to rest in your room.

also he'll bring you your homework so you don't have to get it yourself and do tons of paperwork at once after coming back.

you don't need a therapist, you have naegi tell them as your therapist.

he'll listen to you go on for the entire day, and if you need to break down, you can jump into his arms and break down, using his shirt as a handkerchief.

MONDO OOWADA

"damnit... who did this s/o?!"

honestly he might just break down too.

but then he'll tell himself he's gotta be a man, with balls in front of his s/o.

he'll put his coat around you and hug you, telling you that it's alright and you can let everything out.

you can take that in any way.

he feels really guilty whenever he has to leave you for training or a competition.

but he'll always come back with a gift and your favorite takeout.

if you ever wanna cuddle, go find him. he'll be more than happy to have a reason to hold you.

daily compliments whenever you two meet up.

CHIHIRO FUJISAKI

"s/o, it's okay. you're not hopeless, you're filled with hope, you still have so much more potential,"

he'll offer to accompany you to do some activities to keep your mind distracted and also to cheer you up.

something maybe like styling your hair and making it look ridiculous by putting tons of bright, glittery accessories on your hair.

he'd ask if sharing his own insecurities would help, maybe just so you know he has other countless insecurities than just him fearing showing the others he's a guy.

if making your hair look worse than junko's didn't cheer you up, chihiro would make up some stupid games like hop like a bunny into mondo's room or sing one of sayaka's songs outside makoto's room while he's showering.

speaking of sayaka's songs, he'll blast all her upbeat pop songs in the room and you two can dance your heart out.

LEON KUWATA

"i figured. now come here i'm gonna cuddle your sadness away!"

leon would definitely try to remain positive

the only good side would be that he could skip his daily weekday baseball training, since y'know he likes hates baseball.

but no, really, he'd have NO idea on how to comfort someone properly.

he'd ask what he could do to make you feel better.

as well as bring you out to get ice cream.

while you guys are out you may or may not encounter celestia's cat wandering around aimlessly... and bring it back to leon's room.

obviously you guys return her, maybe style her a little, watch leon get scratched by her and so on.

overall at least you recovered quickly and now everyone can see you smile again <3

BONUS ;; NAGITO KOMAEDA

NAGITO KOMAEDA

"oh s/o. you didn't have to hide it from me, hopeless trash like me don't have the right to judge hopeful people like you,"

well now it was his turn to have his clothes stained with tears.

countless outfits of yours have been stained with his tears, because whenever you'd return late (which was always) he'd think you left him or something, and the closest thing he has to you are your clothes.

he's clingy.

and he'll become clingier.

everywhere you go he'll follow you like a lost puppy.

lost puppy literally. he won't just follow you, he'll beg for your attention.

anyway... back to you, once you even mention you were upset he'd pull you into a tight hug.

imagine how long that tight hug would be with depressed.

verrrrrry verrry long.

he'd wish he didn't have to let go of you.

and he wouldn't. you'd have to literally wait for him to fall asleep just to work your way out his arms.

he'll shower you in compliments and bless you with encouragements.

if you wanted he could ask gundham for a cat or dog or something, or he'd blackmail gundham just to "borrow" the four dark devas of destruction for like 10 minutes before giving them back even though nagito would lie and say they'd forever be gone.

you want, he buy. literally, you just have to say "i want this" and you'll have it.

no more despair only hope.

IM SORRY ITS MISSING SO MANY CHARACTERS ANON 😭

[crucipuzzled]

About Loid Forger's therapy in SxF manga chapter 77 (Spoilers ahead)

There's a Freudian text for everything. Today's all about The Question of Lay Analysis (1926), also known as Wild Analysis.

Endo did what I have been planning to do for a comic of my own: depict Loid actually working as a Psychiatrist. While I'm glad he took this path, sadly I can't say he did a good job on it.

As some of you know, I'm a therapist grounded in Psychoanalitic Theory. Yes, I like Freud and Lacan, and no, Oedipus Complex is not what you heard it is. I did a brief analysis of Psychiatry stuff in SxF in the past, and today I feel compelled to repeat that exercise.

Let's go in order.

1. The importance of being a third party

What's the reason for which people ask a therapist for help, and not their families or friends? What do we have that they don't?

The answer is pretty simple: neutrality. We don't have a side other than rationality and ethics. A good therapist should be able to listen to his patient without losing objectivity.

When you and your patient have a shared, unique shared experience, it's preferable, even ethical, to refer him to another therapist, in order to preserve the higher interest of the patient. The more neutrality you can muster, the better for the curing process. Otherwise, it's really hard to listen to someone else without being constantly reminded of yourself. It turns into a blind spot.

Now, there are exceptions to this rule, but you must handle them carefully, and always putting the patient at the center. Loid openly talking here about how close he is to the hijacking incident doesn't help much.

In short, you have to ensure that your position in the therapeutic process remains an impartial, neutral Other, and avoid becoming a fellow. It's good to create trust, but not too much, just enough to work.

2. Chronic condition (?)

The biggest difference between a Psychiatrist and a Psychologist is that the first went to Med School. Hence, chronicity is a term that applies mostly for organic conditions, but it's rare in the field of subjectivity.

In my short experience, I've met cases labeled as "chronic depression" being cured. I, myself, cured a case of "compulsive suicide attempts since 15 years old, chronic depression, started hearing evil voices 2 weeks ago". You might think that I'm a great therapist, but it's not the case; it's just that, in order to tackle subjective problems, you ought to go to the root of the symptoms and deal with the subjectivity you find there. Psychoanalitic therapy has proven to be wonderful to treat many conditions that didn't get a cure in other types of psychotherapy.

Of course, it's not a panacea. There are things that we can't figure out yet. But bear in mind that chronicity, in the field of the mind, is more complex than just the passage of time and only a bunch of mental conditions truly admit it.

Jacques Lacan, the most important psychoanalist after Freud, said that the unconscious's track of time is not chronological, but logical. You don't just jump out of adolescence because you turned 18; other things need to happen for you to finally feel like an adult. It's a logical progression. The same can be said about some "chronic" conditions.

3. Explicit Reason of Consultation vs Latent Reason of Consultation

A.K.A Everybody lies.

Psychotherapy is a really weird thing to learn and master. In Psychology School they teach you that you must trust what your patient tells you, but at the same time, distrust him enough. How to conceal both things?

Well, everything is easier when you take Dr. House's words to heart.

Everyone states a reason for consultation, but that first reason is never the real reason, no matter how reasonable it might sound. The trick to discern what the latent, real reason for consultation is, is to determine what the subjective conflict hiding in plain sight is. Sometimes there isn't any and therefore, a full psychotherapy is not necessary (maybe just assisting someone with some things, being there just in case, etc), but most cases are built upon a conflict.

I'm glad that Loid here decided to act like a good Psychiatrist and took a mental note on the oddities.

WELL SAID MY BOY, I'M PROUD OF YOU

I want to remark this, because it's discouraging how many therapists oversee this to simplify their job to an extreme. Believe it or not, there are therapists out there that act upon what their patients tell them first. "Hi doc. I came here today because I got an accident and I think I have PTSD". "Ok, I'll have you practice these mindfulness excercises and you should be ok within a month, see ya". DUDE.

4. The place of truth in the context of Psychotherapy

Ah, the classic temptation of knowing the 'real' truth. Is this patient in front of me bullshitting his way out? Is he in a delirium? Is she telling the truth, or just embellishing her story to make it more believable?

You don't have this struggle once you are certain of your role as a psychotherapist. And your role is to help your patients to deal with their subjective struggles.

In short: Psychoterapy deals with the patient's truth, not with the 'real' truth.

You know who deals with 'real' truth in the field of Mental Health? Social Workers.

We psychotherapists don't need to ascertain our patient's claims. Confronting them with reality usually proves to be fruitless, just like Loid did here ("But you're a respected educator!"). It's way more useful to open the topic by asking more questions such as "How did you reach that conclussion?" "What made you think that way?", or giving a specular answer ("You speak like someone else said that about you", "You're too hard with yourself. Where does that come from?", "It sounds like you're belittling your fear for what your wife could say", etc etc etc).

Whenever you're with a neurotic patient, their own personal truth is the only truth you need to work with. Leave the 'real' truth for people who actually needs it, like Social Workers, Doctors or Judges. Your role with a patient is to make sure that his personal truth can turn into something less painful. No need to talk with their friends and family for info, unless your patient is a child or a teenager; just ask him and stick to what he says word by word.

There's a huge topic about the place of reality in therapy, specially in the field of Psychoanalysis, but if I start this train of thought I'm afraid I'll go down to Hell. If you're interested, I've reblogged some Lacanian pills on this Tumblr, check them out by searching the tag #lacan.

PS: NO LOID, DON'T DO THAT. DON'T BREAK THE TRUST YOU ACHIEVED WITH MR AUSTIN! CONFIDENTIALITY IS A MUST!!

5. Counceling = Psychotherapy?

Loid is a (fake) Psychiatrist, not a psychotherapist, so I can't be too hard on him. Also I stan this man. I'm painfully well aware that councelling and coaching is an alternative to psychotherapy in other parts of the world, mostly in the US. But let's not forget one thing:

Psychotherapists DON'T GIVE ADVICES.

At least, not the ones that take this job seriously.

Everyone can give advices. Do you want an advice? Ask your family or friends, or post something in social media, or ask a complete stranger in the street what to do. You'll get plenty of answers and advices. Maybe a bunch of them will be really useful. Good!

The thing with advices is that: -They act like a universal recipe for a problem -There's no universal recipe to sort a problem -They don't tackle the subjective root of a problem -They assume that the problem can be solved by something you can do upon your surroundings, when the real struggle stems from subjective problems Some advices do help with real struggles, but when you have a subjective conflict, they barely help; hell, sometimes they make everything worse.

Like Loid here.

Remember when I mentioned that the unconscious mind's track of time is not chronological, but logical? This is a great example. Mr Austin won't be able to properly talk with his wife just because Loid adviced him to; he must solve other issues before that.

I'm glad we're on the same page on this one

6. Your therapist is not your friend

Sad but true.

If your therapist is good enough, you won't know many things about his private life. You won't know about his lover, his hobbies, where does he live, what does he fear.

Why the secretism? Because it's useless for the patient. Also because disclosing personal information has the effect of becoming a model for the patient, who would start to imitate you. And finally, because you need to mantain a semblance of neutrality and not getting emotionally close with the patient more than necessary.

PS: It's kinda cute how aware Loid is about Yor's every movement. Kinda. KISS HER ALREADY, GODDAMNIT

7. Talking cure and (how not to use) the divan

I talked a bit about divans here.

There, I mentioned that you should NEVER PUT A PSYCHOTIC PATIENT IN A DIVAN. NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE. Well, we can amplify this rule a bit and say that you should avoid the divan with any patient that has a risk of getting seriously upset, like in severe trauma.

The divan is not the only thing that could play against you if badly used. There are cases in Psychiatric Hospitals of patients getting upset because their therapists used the same clothes and hairstyle every single day for months. The point here is that, with psychotic patients and fragile psychic structures (like what happens in traumatized people), you can't use methods that require too much projection.

Also, Lottie here is not performing a Talking Cure.

The divan has been used since Freud to facilitate transference through the Free Association Method. You lay down on it and your therapist ask for whatever crosses your mind first. You don't put a content there beforehand.

(On the same line, if you're a therapist, please refrain from decorating your consultation room with motivational phrases. You're putting words in your patient's mouth before he even starts to speak)

So, it's useless to make Mr Austin lay down on a divan, only to ask him to remember a specific memory. I'd advice (Ha! The irony!) against using the divan here.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- To finish my Two Cents, I'd like to point some positive aspects of this chapter. It's nice that a troubled person decides to seek for help. There's still a huge stigma about men requiring mental health help, and it's a nice example to settle to portray one actually going to a Psychiatrist. Men usually struggle with their problems alone and they have it rough.

It's also nice that, in the end, Loid could help his patient. I wonder how (How?!), but it probably means that, at some point of the process, he changed his methods for the better.

And yes. Sometimes, helping one single person can change many lives. I'm honored to be able to attest to that :D

As everyone, I'd expect the logical sucession of events that could follow this chapter: Loid realizing he's got a heck of a wife compared to other marriages, appreciating Yor more, and giving us heavy smut cute TwiYor moments. But Endo has proven to be an author that doesn't like to follow logic. So, let's brace for whatever will come in two weeks.

Thank you for reading!