#problematic husbands part 4

[villainsidechick]

Husbands I want to slap --

Just because I'm morbidly curious what would happen if I did slap either of these men (knowing I'd probably die)

It would have be a left-handed slap, because I'd feel bad about hitting his scars.

This bitch, however -- Young Wilhuff is just asking for a beating.

Slap fish --- just kidding. I could never touch this sweet baby girl.

[musical-chick-13]

.

[lucky1013]

Cancelling, Public Accusations, and Manipulation of Fans

Good Person/Bad Person Labels

Are you better off knowing if a celebrity has hurt someone? Done something objectionable? Do you write off an artist who is "problematic?" How bad does behaviour have to be to repulse you? 9/10? 6/10? 4/10? Do you sort celebrities into "good guy" and "bad guy" buckets?

Think of the people you know in real life. Are they sorted? Have any of them ever said something stupid or racist? Have any been hated by an ex? Have any hurt or mistreated someone? Have any gotten drunk and had sloppy one-night stands that everyone regrets? Have any of them been accused of anything? Have you ever done anything shameful, hurtful, regrettable? Now honestly -- do you label these people from your life as entirely good or bad?

I don't, and I bet you don't either. And there is a reason for that. These are people you know. We all have opinions of the people we know, but it's rarely yes or no, pure love or pure hate. It's a nuanced opinion because people are nuanced. And life and relationships are difficult. And we know that everyone grows and changes for better or worse. We accept flaws. In real life, we tolerate far more bad behavior than we admit we do or think we do. Come down from morality mountain and take an honest look.

My brother-in-law is both a verbally abusive jerk and a good husband, albeit never both at once. He's at times an awful father and at times a great father. He is a far better man than he was ten years ago. I loathe some things about him and ultimately accept and love him. And I support my sister like a warrior. I accept that humans are complicated. So does she.

So do you -- in real life.

There is a different standard for famous people. Why don't we accept that they have faults, mess up, are works in progress, and do both shitty and great things - just like our real life friends?

Accusation by Public Announcement

What does an accuser get from airing grievances publicly instead of privately?

Me Too was about men in positions of power using that power as a form of coercion over artists or underlings whose careers depended on them. The power imbalance and public stature of the accused person was a factor in their ability to coerce. I think most people would agree that part of the calculation in whether a public accusation was appropriate in these instances was the boss/power/public figure aspect of the abuse itself. Women did not accuse publicly because the men were famous -- they did it because these men used the power and celebrity status as an instrument of the abuse.

Shelby and Wilbur are a different situation. Her accusation is against an ex-boyfriend about private conduct and relationship dynamics and is wholly unrelated to their celebrity status. They are both semi-public figures, but that is not an instrument of abuse here. It just means she has an avenue for reaching fans and he has fans to lose.

Let's set aside the question of whether the term "abuse" is fair for Wilbur's conduct. It's an important question about which we viscerally disagree, but we don't need to litigate it. It’s not relevant to the point.

This should have been about HER and about HIM. They should have fought this out in real life in any manner that would meet Shelby's needs. With support from real friends. With private demands for apologies. With private debates about harms, intentions, consent, etc. It could have been civil or embattled - doesn’t matter - but it certainly did not need to be public.

If you had and experience like Shelby's, and you came to the same conclusions after your breakup, what would you do? Would you go to his employer and get him fired? Would you tell all of his friends and neighbors? Put signs in front of his house? Make sure the school, the town, any future customers and future employers had every detail? You wouldn't. You would think it was a bridge too far and worry there would be legal or civil reppurcussions. After all, you would think, since he hasn't been legally convicted of anything, doing something that messes with his livelihood and reputation is for sure not allowed.

Who is Manipulating Who?

When Wilbur poked his head up to say "I'm back" and said he did not want to speak further about the matter for now, Shelby said he was doubling down and manipulating you. Does she know what that means? He looked dreadful, asked for nothing, and stated he was not going to speak on it. That was the full extent of it. (Her petty response solidified my distrust of her ability to correctly characterize Wilbur’s actions. But that’s a tangent.)

From Webster's Dictionary: Manipulate: "to control or play upon by artful or insidious means especially to one's own advantage." Use: "to carry out a purpose or action by means of"

What did Shelby want in February 2024? She said she found her peace and wanted to end his. Did she end his peace? No, YOU DID. And then some. You did it for her, like an offering. His own fans disrupted his reputation, his friendships, his Minecraft legacy, and his festival summer. One of the most vibrant, effusive fan communities was annihilated because she didn't think he deserved to have it.

Do you feel used? Do you feel manipulated? Look at those definitions. She didn’t have to end his peace because you did it for her.

There are so many CCs (and MCYTs in partular) accused of something, often by a person who is at least marginally part of the community. They've dumped their messy, personal grievances with varying levels of merit on the public to adjudicate. THIS IS NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. You are being inappropriately involved. You are being USED. How dare they place the burden of their problems upon the fans, and look to the fans to end someone's peace on their behalf.

Everyone has problems and personal life drama. Everyone has been mistreated, to varying degrees of course. Some of us have endured terrible things. The only difference here is that YOU are being made to address their problems. They are using you to achieve personal objectives.

You've likely heard the story floating around the internet about the 12-year-old Melanie Martinez fan who purportedly killed herself amidst blowback from the "support victims" shame police. The veracity of the story is unknown to me and totally irrelevant. I've chosen to regard it as a parable because to find out that it's true would make my heart explode. IT WAS A PERSONAL MATTER. That young fan did not need to bear the burden.

Some of you will say that fans "need to know the truth about who their beloved artist really is." Public accusations do not accomplish that. Truth and fact are a mess in these cases and "who someone really is" is a changing, subjective, complex thing.

Next time someone calls on the public to deplatform someone on their behalf-- DON'T ACCEPT THE JOB. Remember that believing and supporting women doesn't require participating in public shaming. They are manipulating the fanbase, even if not maliciously. They are capable of handling it in real life with support of family and friends, just as you would. Respectfully decline to participate. Don't let them disrupt your fandom; don't let them disrupt your peace.

____

[Fun fact - just found out that it's spelled "cancelling" in British English and "canceling" in American English. I'm going with the Brits on this one :)]

[la-pheacienne]

Alright I'm choosing violence yet again because that's what we do in this house.

You guys are seriously creepy about adultery. Like. Seriously. It's not even a joke. In the beginning I thought this bizarre attitude was limited to fandom discourse but I don't think that's the case anymore. I think you guys will eventually need to come to terms with the fact that :

1) Adultery is not criminal behavior, at least in the Western world, since... quite a while actually.

2) Married people can and do fall in love with other people and even occasionally fuck them and this is a very real part of human experience that you need to eventually face.

3) Women who cheat on their husbands are not actually whores.

4) Being "the other woman" (funny phrase) does not automatically give you the seal of ultimate shame, depravity and ruined vagina unlike what your grandma may have told you.

5) Nobody is actually going to give you a golden cookie if you're a faithful god-fearing woman in your own marriage.

6) The fidelity of a man is not and should not be a reward for being a "good"/"correct" woman and having a faithful husband is not the Ultimate Badge of a Woman's Worth and Value unlike popular belief.

7) Likewise, having a man cheat on you does not make you Unworthy, Pathetic and Forever Ruined, it just means they wanted to fuck someone else. A man is not and should not be responsible for your value or worth, not even your husband.

8) From the list of all the harmful things a man can inflict on a woman, cheating is actually the least harmful. It is somehow rebranded as the most harmful, for obvious reasons patriarchy, which leads us to the centuries old pervasive mentality of "he's x, y and z (enter abusive, controlling, boring, horrible in bed) but AT LEAST he LOVES ME he's fAiThFuL and has eyes onLY for ME isn't that rOMaNTIC??". No, it is not. A man can cheat on you after years of being a supportive partner, giving you the best sex of your life, being a great parent for your kids, in short, after years of making your life better in all the ways that matter. A man can be blindly faithful to you and also be a horrible lover and a boring, controlling or abusive partner. Fidelity is socially treated as the number 1 undisputed proof of a man's love for a woman and number 1 undisputed proof of his value as a partner and it absolutely should not be so. This is actually a dangerous mentality and you learned it from me today.

9) Marriage vows are not engraved on our skin, they are not the unbreakable vows of harry potter where if you break them you lose your life, they are not the 10th commandments, they are not the vows of the night's watch. Marriage vows are nothing more than an legal agreement between two people and the state, and agreements are sometimes breached. People's genitals are not automatically covered with sealed concrete when they sign the paper, as much as it would like it to be so. People may agree on fidelity for life but they do preserve their bodily and sexual autonomy and free will even after marriage and sometimes they do prioritize that over their agreement because humans are just like that. I get that this very simple fact sucks, I do. But life sometimes sucks, relationships are unpredictable, people change their minds and can't/don't always want to resist on their desires or needs, and things don't always go as planned because as a general rule, you can't control other people's choices. Only your own.

10) Cheating is a morally reprehensible act, but that doesn't necessarily mean that people who cheat are inherently the epitomy of moral depravity or that their faithful partner is the saint in the relationship. Maybe they are, maybe they're not. Maybe they are both problematic, maybe the cheater is the victim, maybe the faithful partner is actually the problem. It fucking depends. In the year of our lord 2024 you need to perhaps acknowledge that this obsession with fidelity in marriage as the Absolute Hallmark of a healthy relationship and the Ultimate Seal of moral purity is actually a by-product of harmful strict patriarchal/religious values, real life is less black and white and the world is not split between faithful partners with a halo over their head and filthy cheating partners that should be lynched. This is bordering on biological essentialism and let's just say that's not the vibe.

11) A big part of the disgust "cheaters" inspire to a certain category of people is simply thinly concealed sex-averse puritanism, rebranded as ethics. Not all of us fall for that.

12) Feeling hurt, betrayed, traumatized, furious or disgusted after being cheated on is a totally valid reaction. Feeling outraged or disgusted on behalf of other people being cheated on isn't a valid reaction. The scarlet letter was published almost two centuries ago. You are still wayy too comfortable talking about other people's sex lives and passing judgment on account of what they are doing with their own genitals. Likewise, you do not have a say on the cheatee's choice to stay in the marriage. Some people do stay in marriages where they have been cheated on, and no, they are not necessarily weak people with no backbone and/or victims and/or financially dependent on their partner and they don't necessarily need saving. A marriage is an agreement between two (2) people and they are free to agree on whatever the fuck they want. You don't know everything that's going on between them.

The sooner you accept the above facts the easier human relationships will be for you, and as a minor but useful side-effect, navigating certain fandom spaces may become less tedious for you and me both. it's a win-win situation.

[vividachromatic]

Meant To Stay The Worst - Pt. 5

Alastor x reader

Marriage ♡

Tags: ongoing, marriage, confessions / proposals, manipulation and toxic relationships, canon typical violence and language

((<- Pt. 4 - Pt. 6 ->))

*

After being together for about 8 months in total, the two of you started seriously planning your wedding together.

While things weren't going well in the world right now, it only brought the two of you even closer.

Alastor and you had been planning your future home together for quite some time now. While the complicated things... like electricity or heating systems were left to Alastor and your father, you spent much more time with Alastor's mother and even his friend Mimzy.

Alastor's mother in particular was extremely happy for you and her son and always invited you to excitedly talk about Alastor's childhood and showed you a few photographs of him as a child. You could tell that she already loved you really much and saw you as part of the family. Which was further proven with how she insisted you call her 'mother'.

What you appreciated the most though, was that you had much more time to spend on your art and thoughts, and for the first time in your life you weren't put down for it. In fact, Alastor genuinely made an effort to let you know how much he appreciated your mind, art and the way you think quite often.

He even talked about you and why he likes your art on his radio show.

You were plannig to have a small radio station for Alastor on your future property, too.

While he was obviously not perfect: he definitely had some fucked-up morals at the very least; you were almost completely sure of his loyalty towards you at this point, despite your trust issues.

He never gave you any reason to think he'd even look at another woman or man in a weird way. In fact, he even went out of his way to express his extreme dislike towards cheating and betrayal.

(He once recommended a book to you where the husband cheats on his wife and she murders him, cooks him and eats him in response-)

While you never planned to; you were extremely sure that if you were ever to make the mistake of betraying Alastor in that way, you would definitely not survive it. Obviously this would be an extremely red flag in like... every situation.

But since you never did plan on betraying him and you were sure of his loyalty because of it, you digressed

The two of you had an unspoken understanding between each other: one that would be seen as problematic by almost anyone else.

You supported each other in everything.

------------------

"Y/N, my love..." You looked into Alastor's eyes, who recited his wedding vows to you.

Your heart was beating louder and faster than it ever has and you tried holding back tears to not look like a pussy or ruin your fucking make-up (it was very expensive).

And Alastor looked at you with pure love in his eyes. Which touched you to your core, since even when it was just the two of you he had a hard time letting his mask slip completely. But now it did.

"I love you. And I'm beyond grateful, to have you in my life and to have you want me in yours. So thank you, for giving your heart to me. I promise I will treat it like the most precious thing I have ever received. And I promise I will spend my entire life to protect you and make you the happiest woman in the world. I love you. So thank you for choosing me, being with me, and taking my last name."

You tried blinking away your tears and cleared your throat, so your voice wouldn't break.

"Alastor, I... I love you. More than I ever thought I was capable to love anyone-" You paused for a second, suddenly forgetting the lines you prepared and your heart started beating even faster - you thought you were actually going into cardiac arrest for a moment.

"I- I.... I'll-" you gritted your teeth and cleared your throat again.

Okay, get your fucking shit together now, Y/N.

"I will always stay with you. Through life and death. And I promise I will always be by your side. Through health and sickness; even if the whole world was against you." You managed to somewhat stutter out the rest of your speech.

And eventhough you fucked up, Alastor seemed to be geniunely touched by your words and gently moved his hand to hold your cheek.

The officiant probably told Alastor he can kiss you now, but you weren’t completely sure - it was like there was only static in your head, sending you on the verge of passing out.

You only regained the full awareness of your surroundings again, when you felt Alastor press his lips on to yours while the audience in your wedding cheered.

Even your family was there and you had to admit, that even when most of them were assholes and didn't care about you, they at least knew how to behave in a social setting.

Your offical wedding went better than you thought it would, your father led you to 'give you away' to Alastor and also held a speech later on.

(Your brother did too, but it was way more embarrassing since he insisted on bringing up embarrassing childhood memories and mentioning how he thought you'd die alone over and over again.)

When the official ceremony was over you held an after party with only your closest friends and Alastor's mother.

That part of the day was even more enjoyable than the first one. With a lot of music and dancing and only your closest friends giving you heartfelt words and gifts.

On the wedding night both of you treated each other patiently and lovingly.

...

During your marriage you tried the houswife / cooking and cleaning part as best as you could.

Though the cooking part went badly most of the time and Alastor ended up cooking dinner anyway...

(Though you did pride yourself on the fact that eventhough you couldn't cook very well, you could make good sandwiches. And Alastor was at least polite enough to pretend like that was at least somewhat comparable. )

The cleaning part went a little better. Although you did tend to hyperfixate on certain parts and neglect others from time to time...

All in all both of you had a very happy marriage. You loved each other. Even after the 'honeymoon phase'.

You always had enough money and supported each other's hobbies, while following your own.

Your own drawings and writings changed to be of or inspired by Alastor. Which was something he noticed (because he sniffed around your stuff), although he never mentioned it to you. And it did inflate his ego even more than it already was.

At the same time you knew, that his 'hunting trips' weren't for hunting animals, at least 9 out of 10 times.

But you were already sure of that before you even married him.

And since his radio studio was right next to your house right now, you could spend most of your time together.

You knew when he was going out to kill someone.

In fact you sometimes almost casually, although subtly, chatted about it with each other.

Talking about another bad person who would be better off dead. And the next day they were.

You liked this way more than you should. And Alastor obviously did too, since a lot of your most passionate nights ignited right after one of his 'hunting trips'.

You watched him clean off blood when he came back and helped him doing so more than once.

Alastor also made a great deal out of showing you actual self-defense and teaching you how to shoot, in case he wasn't there.

After a couple of years, you talked about expanding your family and even trying for a child.

Until one day the police knocked on your door.

____________________________________________________

Tag list:

@cryptidghostgirl @adeadreader @yourdoorisunlocked @spirit-of-the-hollow @droopingdatura @reikamasama @over-the-little-blue-house @wonderlandangelsposts @mysterypotatoink

(♡♡ thanks sm for your support! Tell me if you want to be added or removed)

A/N: Thank you for reading :D

Next chapter will be here soon and angsty.

Btw, I think this should be obvious, but I still wanna say that actually marrying someone in these circumstances would be quite stupid. This is like the perfect set up for an abusive relationship. But! This is fictional, so I'm writing this in a way it just works out for the two of them.

+ my girls, my boys, my nonbinary friends!! If you want me to actually write out the smut pls tell me if u actually want that. Bc I can, but I'm not sure if ppl actually want that. So comment pls (or write anonymously in my inbox) I'm just gonna do whatever I wanna do otherwise obviously, but I'd like to hear feedback anyways lol.

(On this note: thanks to 🍷 anon for your message :D I appreciate it. I'm just not answering publicly to avoid spoilers in case I'm using one of your suggestions(: )

Also this is obv to 90% an Oc/self-insert, so don't kill me if it's not 100% neutral, just change it in your head or don't read idk.

[askew-d]

Can I ask, who are your top favorite romantic couples (can be canon or non canon) of all time from any media? Why you love them? Thx :D

here i go with another grand list that i was very happy to write! i’m in love with these asks, really. i’ll mention all of them, but at first i was in doubt if i could include one that isn’t ‘canon’, but rather rpf. either way, i added bonus couples for good reasoning! let’s go.

1. wangxian (lan wangji x wei wuxian), from mo dao zu shi — they are THE moment, they are THE couple, they are THE goals. who ever could have imagined someone would come up and write a troublemaker who falls into demonic arts and gets reincarnated to fight together with a sucker-for-rules expressionless man and make it work? they fit into any au as well, this fandom rocks. my lovely cultivators!

2. kagehina (kageyama tobio x hinata shouyou), from haikyuu!! — i dont even play volleyball. i dont even like sports! why do i love this anime and this duo specifically so much? they are so passionate about their hobbies, the rivalry and frenemy relationship? the POTENTIAL. the STORY they have. the "someone better will come and find you" promise. sheer beauty. they are silly and fresh and cute and i dont think i'll ever get tired of it.

3. yizhan (wang yibo x xiao zhan), from the untamed cast rpf — i know all the problematics about writing real person fiction. i KNOW, okay?? but people, let me like them and support them in peace?? 😔 i have so much love for these men, and its overall hella fun following their life unfold, even if they are not working together anymore. nonetheless, they are my dose of serotonin when i need it.

4. daiharu (kambe daisuke x katou haru), from fugou keiji: balance unlimited — i will not scream for a seson 2 here. i will scream for more FICS of them here! there ain't enough! its not even about the 'sugar daddy' appeal, its more about the 'partners in (solving) crime' appeal. oh and also the 'i hate you you arrogant prick but i WILL do anything for you' part. everything and every detail of this show.... seriously though: gold.

5. hilson (gregory house x james wilson), from house m.d — oh, my sweet stupid and repressed doctors, i would do unspeakable things for you. wilson has been through every hard moment of house's life. you can name them, he's been there. through every ridiculous situation of his too. it is overwhelming, honestly. the ending couldn't have been more reasonable and fitting for them, in my opinion.

6. hannigram (hannibal lecter x will graham), from hannibal — this gif alone of them with scratches and smiling conspiratorily to each other sums up their entire dynamic. they're toxic and no one's doing it like them. like, yeah, no shit, who would even dare, right? murder husbands can do anything and eat the rude as much as they want, i will be sipping on my drink and watching intently. (man truly looked at this detective he framed for murder and said he would remember their moment together forever??? just dont throw him in jail then???)

7. shiguang (lu guang x cheng xiaoshi), from link click — these pretty boys traveling through time invented the concept of yearning, and i will not explain more to not give season 2 spoilers. i fell in love with them as soon as i saw the first shot of the anime. it doesnt help that they have the same dynamic as wangxian, too. cheng xiaoshi, my beloved, you would never do anything to harm anyone (not purposefully) and i (as well as lu guang) worship you 🙏

8. renga (hasegawa langa x kyan reki), from sk8: the infinity — let's be true tho, can they never do a sports anime without pulling up homosexuals?? not that im complaining at all. please continue, in fact. every couple in this story is valid (adam does not exist), and i love this spirited, young concept of redescovering the beauty of a hobbie. lovely, all of them, but most specially my langa and his admiration for reki. their dynamic has no complications, its just so sweet.

9. moshang (mobei jun x shang qinghua), from the scum villain self-saving system — i will not share a pic of moshang official art because i find shang qinghua appearence too much childlike and annoying, meanwhile i find him much more interesting in the book and fanarts. in any case, i love this couple more than the main couple simply because our airplane-bro can make everything so hilarious. there are fics of them out there which are peak entertainment (check this one!). mobei's tsundere attitude and shang qinghua's shamelessness are a great combo.

10. hualing (hua cheng x xie lian), from heaven official’s blessing — the longing is unbearable. hua cheng loves this man so much, for real. waiting 800 fucking years?? being his most devoted believer? can you believe the audacity?? my man, though he has low self-steem, does anything to protect his god. he doesnt care about any realm. he only cares for xie lian, his dear god. they are the cutest couple.

bonus: aziracrow, johnlock, tododeku, victuuri, blackbonnet, mafuyama, redblue (from this is how you lose the time war).

these are my favorite ships ever! they are what i scream about alternatively, and when i say so, i'm not joking. one week i'm freaking out over new link click content and in the other one i'm reviewing house m.d episodes. my life's a circle with my favorite ships in it and i ain't regretting anything.

thank you for asking, by the way! big hugs! 🤍

[mybrainsrottingwithmcd]

hi!! so i’m. really really new to the aphmau fandom, aka i was super into it when i was like 8 and now my autistic ass got back into and actually joined in fandom stuff

i don’t. entirely understand how to guide through the aphmau fandom on tumblr. and i have a few questions- if you wouldn’t find can you answer them for me since you seem to be super into this!

what is an MCD rewrite and where do i find them- i assumed it’s people rewriting minecraft diaries but what sparked this and why?

what’s with the hate for aaron and aarmau- i don’t. fully understand it

how did garroth/lawrence happen (i love the idea)

is there like. a masterlist of aphmau lore somewhere so i can make sure i didn’t miss anything in my rewatch (i definitely missed stuff in my rewatch)

Hello hello!! Welcome to the fandom (we’re so sorry ur here its a mess)

I’d be happy to answer ur questions :D

“what is an MCD rewrite and where do i find them- i assumed it's people rewriting minecraft diaries but what sparked this and why?”

Yeah you’re right a MCD rewrite is people rewriting MCD and adding their own ships or improvements or different plot points. It started because the original MCD is kinda written poorly. Some plot points go nowhere, some parts are problematic, some parts drag on, characters appear and disappear, characters stopped developing and most importantly MCD has no ending and was abruptly discontinued by Jess so she could focus on Mystreet and other projects. People just wanna improve and finish the thing that means so mich to them basically. You can find them on AO3 and a few on Wattpad (I recommend AO3 tho its easier to find rewrites ur interested in cuz the tag system)

“what's with the hate for aaron and aarmau- i don't. fully understand it”

(There arent enough words in this world to explain my hatred for aarmau and aaron BUT)

Many reasons heres the main few: when Aaron was introduced he was supposed to be a side character but then he became a love interest kinda outta nowhere (my theory as to why is because Jess’s husband Jason voices him) and when he did become a love interest other characters like Laurence and Garroth kinda stopped developing and became worse to justify why Aaron was a good choice for Aphmau. For me they never had any chemistry in MCD, when its revealed Aphmau is pregnant with Aaron’s kid my brain logged out because wtffff how did they find the time and also why Aaron ://. He wasn’t kinda boring, his angsty past could’ve been used more but wasn’t he was just a brooding masked figure who followed Aphmau around. Then Pheonix Drop High happened and made things really weird. So when Aaron was 18 going on 19 he started dating Aphmau who was 14. Very creepy much yuck, they didn’t communicate well and then his whole character became that he’s in love with Aphmau but “he’s just not good enough for her :((“ and “i shouldn’t be with her shes perfect” and personally i find romance dramas infuriating, especially that kind of drama. AND YES AS A 18YR OLD U SHOULDNT BE DATING A 14YR OLD WELL DONE AARON. Mystreet they were the annoying lovey dovey couple with relationship drama they just rubbed me the wrong way in that series, I stopped watching after Emerald Secret and only recently forced myself to finish Mystreet and yeah no idc about them or their relationship. In MCD season 3 when Shad was introduced as a full character his whole thing is he’s Aaron again but evil and Aphmau’s sad about it and uuuuugg i dont caaareee. And I personally thought Aphmau wasn’t gunna end with anyone in MCD because she went on multiple rants about how that isn’t what she’s looking for and she has to think about her people first and she prefers her own company and then BOOM gets pregnant of masky mcsad face. Ugh. Basically Aaron ruined everything.

(Aroacemau truther 4 life aarmau hater 4 life)

“how did garroth/lawrence happen (i love the idea)”

Garrence has been a ship since the characters were introduced and quite simply its because they have more chemistry together than with Aphmau. I’ve always been a lil uncomfortable with how Jess wrote Laurence and Aphmau’s interactions and Garroth and Aphmau’s interactions but Garroth and Laurence interactions were just more natural they had more banter they were sweet together. Then Jess did a bunch of queerbaiting with it and the ship got bigger, so many fanarts so many fanfics. Then it just never happened because Jess is a coward. Like it would’ve been so nice to see the hints and chemistry go somewhere but it didn’t. Everyone still holds hope tho. With rewrites Garrence is Canon :))

“is there like. a masterlist of aphmau lore somewhere so i can make sure i didn't miss anything in my rewatch (i definitely missed stuff in my rewatch)”

i have no idea on that one, i’ve rewatched MCD every other week for the past 8 years (autism go brrrrr) i’ve never had to look for a masterlist of lore BUT I’m sure someone has to have compiled one somewhere either on the fandom wiki or on Tumblr somewhere. :))

ANYWAYS YEAH WELCOME TO HELL HAVE FUN HERE

[numbbrainstrorm]

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WELCOME TO MY NON-GRAMMAR RAMBLINGS ( I'll bite your ankles and steal your kneecaps)

Me on my blog: *the wall is my two OG mutuals (love them)/pos*

Ello I'm Charlie ( Noah A. K. A Numb) /my 2nd ACC: @charlie-kton

I'm Transmasc and my pronouns are

He / him / they / them 🦐✌️

I do art as a hobby, not a job

Nor do I claim to be good at it ( and I'm doing it for fun)

I have ADHD OR IM JUST STUPID

I'm also self-thought ( semi)

English is my 2nd language

Time zone: UTC+01:00 or CET ( tbh idk which one is right)

This is my main blog where I like to

Post my art

Complain

I usually don't re-blog unless I really like something

My current obsession: transformers ( cyberverse sky byte sodndjjbs~ my beloved husband)

REQUESTS : Closed

SUGGESTIONS : Closed

COMMISSIONS : closed

ASKS : OPEN

I'm NOT doing art for you

I'm doing it for myself

So if you don't like what you see then

Block me

Please be patient I'm mentally exhausted

Is my theme music ( kinda- replace alive with dead)

Rules :

> Don't be rude ( I really don't want to deal with your shit)

> Don't take everything so seriously

> Don't repost my art

> Don't feed my art to the AI

> NO POLITICS STUFF I DON'T CARE ABT THE POLITICS

_______[ insert some sort of banner] lol____

Requests

Will do :

Only transformers

Ships

Rare ships

Silly comics

Silly things in general ( I like fun)

NSFW ( gore, cigarettes, suggestive, etc.....)

Won't do :

Proships ( problematic ships)

Hatespeech

NSFW ( porn / people really either hate this word or love, you guys are insane )

Elita-1 + Oplita, anything that touches her is a NO ( for me she doesn't exist)

Babies ( I'm fine with chibis)

Promotions (???)

Humans

Politics

---------[ MLEM ] - - - - - - - - - >

ASKS :

I'll answer anything

Besides personal stuff

Expl: Q - what's your age? (it's none of your business / I'm old enough :) )

-----------[*Snoring *] - - - - - - - - >

WIP IDK WHAT AM I DOING ( still)

RULES : Everything that is above

Will do:

- Ocs

- ships ( 2nd character is 50% off)

- Rare ships

- Mild gore

If you have any questions, Feel free to DM me via Tumblr

--------[ Rawr~] - - - - - >

COMICS CANCELLED BC: NO INTEREST

Rodiclash comic : it's a lot of work since I want it to be like an Opening to my AU /Icarus/ ( currently re-writing it bc I'm a dumb ass)

Update: working on my first predacon

So lot of word building to Do

And I gotta find an Art style I'm satisfied with

I can't promise that it's gonna happen

I have like a beginning done

So I'm lazy to write omfg

Icarus ( part: semi-organic cybertronian predacons )

It's an idea ( remember the part when Fort Max saved a bunch of Cybertronians with beast alt modes) of Cybertronians with beats mode being experimented on Organics that were almost instinct by Megatron / their 4-mill year-long war

It's that but dragons

Highly inspired by the book series Wings of Fire

And Transformers Prime ( Predacons)

> I can guarantee that it's gonna happen

> WHEN? Idk

And a bunch of small sillies comics that I plan to finish <3

----- [ done] - - - >

If you have any questions don't be shy and ask me

[mormonbooks]

Stripling Warrior

4/5 STARS

Summary: This collection of comics (3 issues and an Annual) has the worlds first ever Gay Mormon Superhero! In fact, it has a lot of different Queer and Mormon (or Mormon-adjacent) characters, all fighting against injustice.

The main character, Sam Shepherd, gets visited by an Angel soon after marrying his husband Jase. The Angel (Abish from the Book of Mormon) calls him to be The Hand of God and punish sinners. He fights homophobes, misguided missionaries, and Cain himself, alongside his companion, Fe, who also received powers from Abish.

Read at your own risk: This book is has a complex approach to mormonism, as well as deceptions of queer sex (Not explicit but pretty nsfw). I think it's a lot of fun, and is an honest portrayal of queer mormon experiences, with fun fantastical versions of Mormon beliefs (Like a Holy Ghost Force Field).

Overall, I enjoyed it! I've been dying for a Mormon Superhero, and queer mormon superheroes are even better. I would love to see more stories with Sam, Fe, Jase, Shonda, and Riley in the future.

Spoilers and Review Breakdown Under the Cut

1. Well written - 3.5 Stars.

Overall, I think the writing is done well. Some of it is cheesy, and there are a couple of deus ex machina's but it feels like it fits in the genre and with what the comic is trying to do.

2. Fun level - 4.5 Stars

I really enjoyed it! I read the whole thing in one sitting and it was engaging and exciting and it made me laugh.

3. Complex faith - 3.5 Stars

This one is complicated to answer. This definitely feels like media aimed at ex-mormons. Most of the characters are Ex (or "Jack") Mormons, and don't have high regard for the church as an organization. They do believe in Angels and Heavenly Mother (cause that's where their power comes from) but the church officials (like mission presidents) are shown as villains. It's a very irreverent story. And there's a part in the last issue where Heavenly Mother and Heavenly Father are pitted against each other that I didn't really like.

The only exception is Riley, an asexual missionary who states his firm testimony a couple of times. He is one of the heroes, but still firmly believes in the gospel.

I like it because it has characters from all over the spectrum of mormonism (from actively serving a mission to "my parents were mormon but we don't really talk about it" and everything in between), which I think is cool, but it's also definitely got an exmo bias.

4. Homophobia scale - 5 stars

it's so gay!!!!! They have a character for each letter of LGBTA, it's delightful.

It is also NSFW. Nothing explicit (?) but characters are often naked, and the two married couples are shown being intimate quite a few times. I don't normally love stories like that, but for a comic that is about the sacredness of queer intimacy, I understand why it's included.

5. Mormon weird - 5 stars

SOOO much mormon weird. Abish is an angel. The heroes have Liahona Guides. The big villains are Cain and Ammon. It's so much fun.

6. Diversity of characters - 4 stars!

The main character and his husband are both white guys, but Fe is latina, her wife is black (and trans!), and Riley is a POC.

7. Other problematic stuff - 3 stars

I love this comic but I don't think it's for everyone. On top of being irreverent and nsfw, it also incorporates some indigenous american culture into the mythos in ways I'm not sure about. This is going to happen with anything that talks about Nephites and Lamanites, but mostly I don't know why Ammon has a pet Quetzalcoatl. 🤷

But, like I said, I did enjoy it. I think there's a lot of potential in these characters and I would love to see more stories with them

[lila-rae]

Do you think it’s problematic for an actress or an actor to make a sex scene and have your body seen everywhere and forever? And I know and I completely agree that an actor and his character are not at all the same person but for your bf/gf it’s not still weird and uncomfortable to see the person you like “fucking” in front of the camera? I really want to see your shot on this :)

No. It’s acting.

But let’s dig a little deeper.

1. Regardless of relationship status wether married, engaged, dating, sutustionshiping, your body is your own. No one has the right to your body but you and you have every right to decide who gets to view it and when. It’s all about consent and if they’re fine with it that’s all that matters.

2. A big part of consuming media like television, film, plays, etc… is something called suspension of disbelief. Meaning they want you to think things that aren’t real are. But they still aren’t real. There were really dinosaurs eating people in Jurassic World. Rachel McAdams didn’t actually get hit by a bus. And people having sex on screen aren’t actually having sex. So you’re not watching you SO fucking anyone on camera. You’re watching your partner at work in a simulated scene for the purpose of a story.

3. Sex scenes/anything remotely intimate are always heavily choreographed with an intimacy coordinator. There are so many barriers placed and modesty garments utilized so that the talent is comfortable. They not even getting close enough to where you’d be able to feel a real life erection .

4. It comes down to communication and trust. If you’re in a relationship hopefully you’re having open and honest communication and fully trust that your partner isn’t crossing any boundaries that have been decided on together. If you’re dating an actor you also need to have realistic boundaries. Saying “You can never kiss anyone for your job” isn’t realistic and if you feel that strongly you shouldn’t date an actor.

I’m not even an actor but I kissed a kid in my theater directing class for a scene in college and guess what my husband didn’t care because it was a school assignment. There comes a time where you just have to be secure in your relationship.

[blueiight]

🔥

Do you agree with the (parts of) fandom take that there was "mutual" toxicity btwn Loustat? I'm trying to think of what exactly Louis does that's so toxic that would make it remotely mutual

i think the urge to find “mutual” abuse shows a fundamental misunderstanding of what power dynamics even look like lol theyre just discomfitted theres near zero openings for them to make a black male character out to be be a big brute and self insert into the fictional man of no color. louis is a master of language, and he never actually says ‘i love u, lestat’. people fixate on it for the wrong reasons, or misinterpret ppl pointing the fact that louis never said those 3-4 words as some false attempt at looking for “mutual abuse”.

louis is not withholding, but trying to claim some semblance of power thru his mastery of language. like @lynnenne said:

Over the course of the season, we see that Lestat is hurt that Louis never says, "I love you." On the surface, this seems like a personal argument between them, but it's actually a symptom of a huge structural problem in their relationship. How can Louis ever make a credible declaration of love when the power gap between them is so huge? …Louis could tell Lestat he loves him morning, noon, and night, but it would be meaningless. And Louis knows this. The one time he tries to leave, Lestat beats him nearly to death. When Claudia tries to flee, Lestat tracks her down and drags her home. They're only as free as the colonizer allows them to be. Lestat believes that vampirism will set Louis free, but he won't even set Louis free. Expecting society at large to be cowed by Louis's vampirism is a delusion on his part.

telling lestat “ima boutta lose the last fucking thing i ever cared about”, “u gone always be alone” [an echo of what armand and nicki told lestat in the books..] & insinuating lestat somehow knew the race riot would occur somehow is incredibly cruel if not erring on delusion w the belief lestat could predict racism but do recall lestat was just as incredibly cruel himself. louis tells lestat in the beginning of episode 3 how theyd gore runaway slaves in jackson square, lestat is a crash test dummy in response to the city leaders cracking down on the azalea, treating this enterprise of pimping as a mere “hobby” of louis like a husband talking down on his wife’s “hobbies” as both lestat and louis can both hear how racist the city leaders are.. was lestat tryna take a seat back& let louis kill them himself? yea and also this passivity in the face of men far weaker than lestat was w/ zero of louis’s obligation to ‘save face’ is jarring. so much for “if disrespect was done to u i wouldve killed him myself” hann les? and in the race riot lestat’s even tryna seduce him& have the riot be their anniversary? in wider context , louis saying those words is a lashing out, a response to treatment already present... and theres no equivalent to what lestat does physically to louis in ep5 that we see so far, and i guess that unnerves ppl& makes them want to draw upon mutual abuse theories? which is crazy cuz im p sure them mens of no color yall watch be tearing eachother up& yall have no problem shipping them otherwise w/o mutual abuse theorizing but i digress. imo what louis placed on & has done to claudia is far worse than w/e hes done to lestat but we all know fanon is generally far more sympathetic to fictional men of no color than they are to a fictional black woman... if by toxicity , they mean that lestat along w/ turning louis out [cant find a better way to phrase this] also draws out louis’s vile attributes & fans the flames for louis’s capacity for cruelty [embrace the beautiful things u r & embrace what u r, ur a killer, louis.] that was already there n i wrote this entire think piece for nothing, then i agree. but mutual abuse theories is just😂😂 i just want ppl to embrace we r all here for the problematic yaoi n stop tryna play stan wars.

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Currently Watching - June

Because I love a good little list - in alphabetical order! 😊

Regularly updated during the month, latest update 30.06.2023

Here you can find my weekly roundup that goes into a bit more detail about each episode.

And a little link to my favorite bl-tropes-collection 💙

This is guaranteed to contain spoilers!

1. Alice in Borderland Season 1 (1/8 on Netflix, no bl)

One day I was in the mood for some dystopian and uncomfortable watch and here we are. After that day I needed something cuddly and colorful, so I guess it will take me a while to finish it. But the first episode was really good.

2. Be My Favorite (6/12 on Youtube)

At first glance, Kawi is a loser. At second glance, a crazy loser. When he tries to travel back in time to change his life, it doesn't necessarily go in the direction he had in mind or Pisaeng, the later husband of Kawi's crush. But this series is so much more. Kawi is like our inner voice of insecurities and inadequacies. And it is like healing a little bit watching him gaining a little bit more self confidence and self love.

3. Dinosaur Love (1/10 on iQiyi)

This is a hellfire of a show. It is bad. But I had a blast. I can't tell you what it is about, because I have no clue! All I know is I love it. It is so bad, that it is good!

4. His Man Season 2 (5/14 on Gaga)

The korean dating show is back! I loved the first season and the second just started really good. I guess there will be some drama in those 14 episodes, but the first dates were so cute! I am looking forward to next week!

5. King the Land (3/16 on Netflix, no bl)

You know the feeling, you wake up in the morning and you're craving some good korean romance drama? That happend t me today and so I just thought give this a shot and it is good. Cheon Sa Rang works as a concierge at the King Of The Land Hotel and there she always has to wear a smile, fake or real doesn't matter. She meets the new boss in town Gu Won, who just can't stand fake smiles, but I guess her beautiful and real smile will make him fall head over heals.

6. La Pluie (9/12 on iQiyi)

Saengtai goes deaf whenever it rains. The only voice he can hear in his head is his soulmate's one. But he refuses to answer it, because Tai doesn't believe in things like love or soulmates. That is until he meets his soulmate for the first time and his soulmate is a such a cutie, that Saengtai cannot longer fight against his destiny. It is surprisingly good and funny and charming.

7. See you in my 19th life (3/12 on Netflix, no bl)

It was a suggestion, sounded interesting, so I watched it and I really enjoyed the first episode. Ban Ji Eum is able to remember her past lifes. Her 18th one ended way too soon and in her now 19th life she wants to meet the one person again, who brought her joy again after 100 years of being tired of reincarnating and remembering all the pasts lifes. A very interesting concept and I like how bold and confident Ban Ji Eum is.

8. Shigatsu no Tokyo wa... (3/8 on Gaga or Viki)

Kazuma and Ren were close friends during middle school and now meet again years later after their ways parted. We get some cute flashbacks and much cuter interactions in the here and now. I really enjoyed this first episode. It has potential, I like the hair tousle.

9. Sparks Camp (5/8 on Youtube)

Philippines's first gay dating reality show! And it's giving you everything you're looking for! Well at least a bunch of cute and cringy moments! And I am sold!

10. Step by Step (10/12 on Gaga)

Employee meets boss without knowing who he has met and crushes hard on him, just tells him what everyone thinks about the new boss and is just adorably clumsy infront of him. I adore the friend group! I hope we get to see them support Pat a lot. But there is more...An ex who is not quite out of the window yet, a toxic work enviorment, with some really sweet rays of hope in between, a second couple I lost my heart for (again the side dish...), which might be a little bit problematic, but who cares? Well, at least not me.

11. The Luminous Solution (5/6 on Gaga)

Every wish comes with a price...We meet Thana and Patis, a couple of over a decade. While Thana tries to holds closeness to his partner, Patis is working non stop at the hospital and doesn't see that his partner is suffering. And now Thana lost his job and his mother is in depth. One evening he enters a very special café, which only shows itsself to people who are in deep need for a wish. But can you pay the price? As a second couple we meet Mai and Ryou, who become enemies on the first day of school and who will have some obstacles to overcome to be together. And there is Ryous best friend, I guess he has a huge crush on Ryou. How they will end up in the café? I don't know, but I am intrigued.

12. Tie The Not (2/8 on Youtube)

And another Pinoy BL from Onix Films. It is a miniseries and it shows. The plot is a little bit rushed and not really round.

Finished in June

Series

Our Skyy 2 (16/16 on Youtube)

This one is telling what happens after the happily ever after of our favorites of the last two years. We have some supernatural stuff, some boring stuff, some cringe stuff and some fluff stuff. Over all I wasn't that excited. I really liked My School President and the last part of A Tale of thousand stars. Besindes that it was not that special to me. I give it a 6 out of 10 (mostly because all the PhuTian fluffiness we've got)

2. Bokura no Shokutaku (9/10 on Gaga)

This is a comfort watch. Hozumi Yutaka likes to cook and is good at it, but he can't eat infront of other people. Meeting Tane and his older brother Ueda Minoru his life seems to change and he may finally have found what his body and soul were longing for. It had some tense moments, but in the end it felt really comforting and calming. It wasn't that hectic or full of drama. It is a very good adaptation and I liked it very much. A good 9 out of 10 for me.

3. A Business Proposal (10/10 on Netflix - no bl)

Can a fake relationship with a lots of lies from all sides end up being true love? Yes it can I and I loved their journey. I loved to see how Kang Tae slowly fell for Shin Ha Ri and how he tried to get her to date him for real. This was just a cute watch and it made my sunday just very comfy and I had a lot of fun. Totally binge watch material. For me a 8,5 out of 10.

4. My Story (9/10 on Youtube)

Now I have a problem. I really liked the side dish couple, Zeke and Fifth, but the main story around Sky and Win was just a little bit boring, especially at the beginning. And I didn't like the whole drunk kissing and just forgetting everything the next morning. With only Zeke and Fifth this would be a better rating, but with everything else around I have to remove some points... I give it a 6,5 out of 10. Now I have a problem. I really liked the side dish couple, Zeke and Fifth, but the main story around Sky and Win was just a little bit boring, especially at the beginning. And I didn't like the whole drunk kissing and just forgetting everything the next morning. With only Zeke and Fifth this would be a better rating, but with everything else around I have to remove some points... I give it a 6,5 out of 10.

5. Hometown Cha Cha Cha (16/16 on Netflix)

This is such a wholesome and feel-good series. Even though it dealt with some really tough trauma and I was bawling my eyes out, I loved it and it felt overall good. Sometimes it was a little bit too sweet and especially the later episodes just didn't fit with the beginning of the series. I am very happy, I gave this one a try! Overall 8,5 out of 10 for me.

6. Love Tractor (6/8 on iQiyi)

City boy meets Farm boy who is a little innocent puppy and city boy can't stop falling in love with this pure soul. I read the manhwa and I loved it and this adaptation cut a LOT out, but it was so cute and good and lovable! The characters really fit the original source. Almost perfect. And we get a really good kiss! So extra points here. For me a 9,5 out of 10.

7. Zenra Meshi aka Naked Dining (12/12 on Gaga)

Not gonna lie, this one was exhausting for big parts. I guess it is about fate and two people meant to be together, and that would have been really nce and sweet, but there was so much bad drama. In my opinion the girl new that Souta had a Crush on Mahiro. Her trying to date him anyways and getting annoyed that he spends so much time with the other person was just...annyoing. And the communication and misunderstandings...It could have been something better in my opinion. And there was definitely too little naked dining. It is a 6,5 out of 10 for me.

Short Film

Movie

1. Restart After Come Back Home (on Gaga)

This one is about finding your place in life, accepting others and yourself for the way they are and about hope and forgiveness, family and love. It is a wholesome and beautiful movie. I must admit, first I didn't like both of our mains, but I guess that is part of the plan, because as they grow during the movie I became more and more fond of them. I give it a 9 out of 10.

Rewatched in June

1. History 2: Crossing The Line

It is always good to come back here. I like how both of the leads fall for eah other. To see the struggle Qiu Zi Xuan has with allowing himself to have feelings for Xia Yu Hao. And how sure Xia Yu Hao is about his own feelings. And it has volleyball. Not that I am a big fan, but I like sport bls.

2. Sweet Curse

A korean short film about a friend who is jealouse of the popular guy and summons a ghost to hunt said friend. But the friend falls in love with the ghost and the ghost with him and we get a weird and unconventional, but cute and steamy lovestory. Well, in Strongberry we trust.

Dropped/On-Hold in June

Looking forward to in June

Aki wa Haru to Gohan wo Tabetai aka Let's Eat Together (In Japanese Cinema on June 2)

Ever After (Youtube on June 3)

Tin Tem Jai Special (Youtube on June 3)

Love Tractor (iQiyi on June 7)

Shigatsu no Tokyo wa... aka Tokyo in April (Viki and Gaga on June 16)

Tie The Not (Youtube June 24)

Dinosaur Love (iQiyi on June 25)

His Man Season 2 (Gaga on 23rd)

The Internship

[pompadorbz]

I RARELY see people tackle potential parents for Daiya and Mondo, so here they are!

I imagine Cassie met Hideo when she was in high school, but Hideo was a lot older than her. Regardless of that they hit it off fairly well, but things started to sour once Daiya was born. Hideo was a more distant father and refused to run his family's motor business beyond riding a motorcycle, so he refused to take any jobs while Cassie was left jumping from position to position. Despite that, I think Daiya still really looked up to Hideo as this cool mysterious figure. Whenever they'd talk it'd be about manly shit. And bikes. So it was all the more traumatizing when he fucked off a few months into Cassie's second pregnancy. Daiya was 7. I picked the name Hideo because its meanings both fit him, and are DEEPLY ironic (excellent, fine/outstanding, hero, manly, husband, and man). It was just too perfect.

Cassie's dad studied abroad in Canada for a while, and while he was there he met the woman who would be his wife. She didn't have much family left in Canada, so they moved back to Japan shortly after Cassie turned 3. I think their relationship was far more loving and they both gave Cassie their all, but they pressured her in her schoolwork and her relationships, and that began to dominate over their love for her. I think Hideo led them to disown her due to the path she went down after meeting him. She was starting to reach her boiling point with him, but after he left, she couldn’t take it anymore. It was the straw that broke the camel's back, and Cassie began to take it out onto Daiya shortly after Mondo was born in a combination of anger and stress. She was never violent with him and broke down crying more often than not, but she still heavily pressured Daiya into becoming a better man than Hideo was and getting frustrated whenever he or his interests were mentioned.

Daiya ran away when he was only around 12, and Mondo was 4. It was impulsive and remained incredibly complicated until he died. A lot of Hideo and Cassie's personality still stuck with Daiya despite everything, and some of their teachings were passed down to Mondo (Did I base most of Cassie and Hideo on that one line of dialogue in the Ch1 investigation? Yes). Mondo doesn't really know what either of them look like aside from fuzzy memories of Cassie, but I do think that they know who Mondo is all too well. Hideo mostly doesn't care, but I think that time spent alone made Cassie feel like she could've given them so much more. She wants to reconnect with Mondo, especially after Daiya's death, but she has no clue how to do that, so in the end she just never even tries.

Design wise I wanted to make it clear that Hideo is. Kinda a scumbag? I don't think Cassie ever finds this out, but he's absolutely cheated on her at least once. Very real chance that Daiya and Mondo have some siblings out there that they don't know about. I also wanted him to be a pretty big influence on Daiya's style of dress, hence the hair being similar to a pompadour.

Cassie was designed to have a lot of features that'd be considered charming. She's got the big ol' doe eyes with subtle heterochromia, she's got freckles, a cute little nose, a rounder facial shape, etc. and etc. Like if i designed how she looked in high school before she entered her deeply problematic relationship, she would have to look really sweet and cute.

I'm a big fan of the idea that the orange part of Mondo's hair is actually the natural part, and it grew back out after she dyed her hair to look more like Daiya's, so she started to use that part for the pompadour instead. She also got Hideo's eye colour and pupil shape, nearly his exact skin tone, his nose, and Cassie's slightly rounder face shape, albeit a bit taller.

Daiya got a very similar hair colour to Hideo, nearly his exact facial structure, a mixture of both Cassie and Hideo's skin tones, Cassie's freckles, her big ol doe eyes plus their hazel colour, and her nose.

[perecreate]

Inside Chernobyl’s Exclusion Zone: the City of Pripyat

One of the most disastrous human failures occurred on a day of 1986–a radiation explosion that was expected before its coming took place in Chernobyl, Ukraine (at the time part of the Soviet Union. Thousands of lives and numerous cities were significantly influenced due to Soviet Union authorities' problematic control of radioactive substances. People died, not knowing they have ingested contaminated air, those who lived suffered permanent damage for the rest of their lifetime. Directed by Volodrmyr Rybas, who is well known for the documentary film, Azure Dust guides its audience to the long desolated exclusion zone of Chernobyl, as it is no longer inhabited, frozen in its own time.

Pripyat, a city in Ukraine two kilometers away from the radiation explosion power plant, was the dream city where young Soviet Union people pursued to take residence in. Carnivals often took place and the neighborhood was friendly, crowded, and eventful. On April 26, 1986, as reactor 4 of the power plant safety drill was misconducted, an enormous amount of radioactive materials exploded into the air, carried by the wind, and into cities including Pripyat (the radioactive material later covered most of Europe as well). After 36 hours of the explosion, Pripyat residents were evacuated without a specific explanation from the Soviet Union Authorities; they were informed to leave the city for just three days to a week for the government to fix the situation. Most people packed little personal belongings, left their pets some food and water, thinking that they’ll be back to their home in a short amount of time. Many began to show fatal sick symptoms after a week, due to the radioactive waste they breathed in during those 36 hours, the living ones weren't in better condition, either. Aside from covering the fact of radioactive material leak, the Soviet Union Authority carried out forced abortion on pregnant women that came into contact with the toxic substances. One of the survivors from Pripyat, Maryna was interviewed in Azure Dust to talk about her experiences with the forced abortion. She replied that she received IV (intravenous injection) that she thought was used to reduce the radioactive waste existing in her belly, however made her five month old baby at the time reacting very strongly. Maryna was later informed that she will be aborting her child with no choice. She decided to leave the hospital immediately with her husband. The next day she found herself wanted by the Soviet Union Authorities. According to The Journal of Nuclear Medicine, “an estimated 100,000-200,000 wanted pregnancies were aborted in Western Europe.”

The Journal of Nuclear Medicine article: https://jnm.snmjournals.org/content/jnumed/28/6/933.full.pdf

The tragedies never happened enough, broken families, declining health, irresponsible measures taken by the Soviet Union government, those who lived the days in the nuclear wastes have either vanished, or have no choice but live under the shadow of the traumas and sickeness. Volodymyr Rybas’s Azure Dust depicts the horrifying history of Chernobyl, and the sorrows of victims. Pripyat now lives as a ghost city, the insides of buildings under the accumulated dust and deteriorating ceilings. It is an honor seeing Volodymyr Rybas and his team bringing us the sight of Pripyat today. And that, someday, cities like Pripyat would be able to restore the same joy it once owned forty years ago.

Feel free to check out my film review blog site: perecreate3.wordpress.com

[bullet-prooflove]

The North Star - Part Six: Degas - Terry Bruno x Reader

Welcome to mine and @the-hinky-panda The Bronx universe featuring our favs Terry Bruno & Mike Duarte.

This story takes place several years after 'Blood Out'. Terry still lives in the Bronx and works in Manhatten SVU.

Following on from @the-hinky-panda story 'The Dog' Mike has retired from the NYPD on medical grounds due to seizures causes by the attack. He has a therapy dog called Bono and lives with @the-hinky-panda character Meredith.

Tagging: @mysoulisasunflower @legit9thlunaticwarrior @bbyxoo @the-adzukibean @xoxabs88xox @crazy4chickennuggets @beardedbarba @wooshwastaken @justreblogginfics @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @storiesofsvu @anime-weeb-4-life

Part One: Moments

It was an exclusive event, one that Paul had heard about through one of his contacts. A high-end fence Arthur Munson was hosting an auction to showcase his latest acquisitions in an intimate, hole in the wall gallery called dot-art. The catalogue he’d sent out to his potential clients highlighted several of the pieces you were hunting. You didn’t ask how Paul had managed to get the both of you on the list, you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. You assumed there was a link to an undercover alias somewhere, he’d been involved with several back in the day.

Dot-art was a stunning location. The showroom at the face of the brownstone building hosted the work of local artists, names that you recognised from the time you spent around the neighbourhood. These were the ones flourishing, trying to make something of themselves. You could sense the essence of the Bronx etched into their work, the spirit and the culture striking you on almost transcendent level. Each brushstroke, pop of colour, pencil mark brought the soul of the borough to life, and it was simply magnificent.

Paul’s hand came to rest upon your lower back, guiding you away from the pieces that held your heart and further into the depths of the building. The gold wedding band you wore on your wedding finger glinted in the light from above, the diamond catching the light. It had been Meredith’s mom’s once upon a time. She’d graciously loaned it to you so that you partake in this particular illusion. You were Samantha Caruso, wife to investment banker Paul Caruso. You hadn’t told Meredith that part, you had let her assume that it would be Sinclair who played the role of your husband. You didn’t want the discussion, not when Paul would be out of your hair in just a few days’ time. Once this case was over you would no longer be within his orbit, he’d forget about you, move on to someone else.

“And down the rabbit hole we go.” He whispered, his head dipping low so that his breath brushed over your ear.

There was a staircase hidden behind a floor length mirror. You glimpsed yourself in it as you passed it and you barely recognised the woman in the reflection. You were wearing a black, off the shoulder cocktail dress, that stopped just above your knee. The fabric clung to your body, accentuating your shape, the bodice dipping to reveal the ornate compass that hung below your collarbone. You wore your hair loose, the silky strands falling across the scars on nape of your neck and shoulders, obscuring them from view. Your lipstick was burnt coral, empathising the pert shape of your lips.

Paul went first, descending two steps before he turned to you and held out his palm. The metal grating was tricky in stilettos. You clasped his hand for balance when your heel caught one of the divots.

“Careful, it’s steep.” He warned you as the two of you slowly took a step at a time.

The suit he was wearing was tailored to his form, highlighting his athletic build. He’d caught more than a few stares off women tonight. With that strong chiselled jaw and cheek bones that even a model would envy who could blame them? Aesthetically he was perfect. Problematically he only seemed to have eyes for you.

The staircase opened up into another world, one rich with opulence and glamour. You could feel the thrum of history underneath your feet as you tried to comprehend the sheer magnitude of items on display.

“Is that a fucking Degas?” You hissed, gripping Paul’s forearm tightly. His chuckle warm as he placed his palm over your hand, escorting you to the artwork in question.

“It’s part of the host’s private collection.” Paul informed you as you stood before ‘Five Dancing Women (Ballerinas)’. “He needs to raise some capital quickly, so he’s decided to sell it, hence why it’s the highlight of this event.”

It was haunting, the hues of grey making the ballerinas look like spectres in a ghost story, your breath caught in your throat, your fingertips tingling with the urge to touch it. It was rare that something captured you so completely. You knew the story, everybody did. Confiscated from Baron Mór Lipót Herzog’s collection by the Nazis in the 40s, the painting had remained missing for over eighty years. Until now. There was a darkness tied to it’s history, a lifetime of human suffering etched into the brushstrokes. It was almost painful to look at.

“Shit.” You said out loud, leaning in close so that you wouldn’t be overheard. The cloying scent of his cologne filled your nostrils, bergamot and sage thrust directly into your senses. His palm came to rest on your hip, the pads of his fingers digging into the soft fabric of your knit dress as he drew you close. “This is a lot bigger than we realised. The FBI are gonna come crashing down all over us. Who knows what else this guy has stored around here.”

“It’s still going to be your bust.” Paul told you, his voice dipping an octave. “You get the glory; you rescued a fucking Degas.”

There was something in the way he said it, an undercurrent in his tone as you raised your eyes to meet his.

“Did you know?” You asked him point blank.

“I suspected.”

He fucking knew, of course he knew. He also knew exactly what this would do, how you’d be shoved into the limelight. A bust like this would make the news, open doors in your career, it would present you with options, more than you’d had in your entire life. It would also leave you indebted by the man behind the curtain,  twisting and disfiguring your achievements, making them his own. It was deceitful what he had done, a manipulation and you had forgotten how good he was at that. You wanted your career on your own merits, you’d fought hard to get where you were, and you were prepared to keep fighting.

Paul was disrupting all that by dropping a fucking Degas in your lap.

You reached into your clutch to remove your cellphone. Paul’s hand enclosed on your wrist, fingers digging into the skin as he grasped you.

“What are you doing?” he asked you.

“I’m texting Sinclair to call the FBI field office.” You told him.

“No, you’re not.” He retorted, forcing your hand back into the purse. “Do you understand the doors this will open for you?”

“I don’t want it.” You snapped back and he looked at you like you’d slapped him. “I don’t want the strings that come with it.”

His jaw clenched, a muscle in his cheek twitching as his eyes turned hard.

“I just gave you a fucking Degas.” He told you, his voice taking on a dangerous lilt as his grip on your arm tightened. “And you can’t even give me a fucking thank you.”

He wanted to shake you, you could see it in his eyes. That agitation, the frustration, it was all building like a storm cloud. You could sense the change in mood, the way the tension coiled in his muscles. It was an echo from that night, the one where he’d put you through the mirror. The scars on the back of your neck tingled, an incessant reminder of what happened when Paul didn’t like something you had to say.

“Walk away.” You told him, meeting his furious gaze with a fierceness of your own. “Take a lap of the room.”

The calmness in your voice surprised you. It was cold steel slicing through the tension as you tore your arm out of his grip.

“We’re here to do a job.” You reminded him harshly. “A father was killed in front of his son; his mother is still in a coma. That’s the case we’re working.”

For a moment he looked murderous, his gaze flickered to the Degas and then to you and then back to the Degas.

“I don’t know how the fuck you made Sergeant.” He growled at you, his voice a low rumble as he leaned in close.

The invasion of your personal space was meant to cow you, bend you to his will as it had done before. You were stronger these days, more hardened, a thicker skin. You’d become tough because he had forced you to. You smiled, a bloody minded, vicious one that threw him off guard as you lingered within his proximity.

“Take a fucking walk.”

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TV Series Discussion: Sex Education

Season 4 (2023)

Source: Google Images

Insecure Otis has all the answers when it comes to sex advice, thanks to his therapist mother. So rebel Maeve proposes a school sex-therapy clinic.

Source: Netflix (2019)

Absolutely Brilliant

I'll be honest here, I started watching this season with expectations of disappointment only because I knew the one couple I was rooting for was not endgame. That being said, I had no idea what I was going to get from Sex Education's final season.

In this last season, we got some really good stories which ultimately led to great character growth. Some were simply briefly touched on, like Jean's postnatal depression, Jackson finding out the truth behind his sperm donor, Ruby finally figuring out her true identity (kind of), and Viv's experience with an abusive man.

Whereas some took practically the entire show (not just this season) to get an ending. Like Aimee finally being able to recover from her assault, or Cal's struggle to become who they truly were. We also had Otis realising what issues he had and how deep they were rooted. This season also showed us Maeve and exactly how thick the wall she built around herself truly was.

Some of these stories, I particularly enjoyed watching the characters learn and grow from them. Some, really annoyed me. For example, I was never in love with the idea of Maeve and Otis being endgame. As time went on, I just preferred them as friends instead of a couple. As friends, they brought out the good in each other. As a couple, it always felt like Maeve's just holding onto Otis's leash. And I hated how Otis forsaked anybody and everybody once Maeve was around. If you'd watched this season, you could see how bad of a friend, a son and a campaign party he was once Maeve was back in his life. I still don't like the idea of them being a couple but seeing how deep-rooted their individual issues were, it made sense why I always thought them together romantically was problematic but I am not opposed to them coming back together in the far future. Probably why Sex Education's finale struck a chord in my heart, one I did not expect to be struck. Way to go, ambiguous endings.

Now, Adam has been one of my favourite people in this show since he showed his vulnerable side which automatically meant Michael's not exactly likeable. Michael was a toxic father and husband, nobody can object to that. And when Adam told Michael off and finally articulated his unhappiness with his father, I was so proud of my dear boy. However, it's the part where Michael said he doesn't hate Adam, he hates himself. That part made me so happy because not only was Michael fully acknowledging he was a bad parent and husband, he also finally gave Adam clarity. My boy has struggled too much and although I hate that he is no longer with Eric, I am absolutely elated Adam's in such a better place both physically and mentally.

Which brings me to my favourite character growth in this season. Eric freaking Effiong. I never thought this person needed more development, then this season came and I was utterly proven wrong. However, it's his story that warmed my heart. I don't think enough people talk about what Eric was going through in season 4. It's something everybody knows, regardless of which side we're on. Yet, we never talk about it or in some cases, act on it. The dilemma, the identity crisis, the forlornness that people like Eric suffer from... It opened my eyes bigger, I was aware before, I am just even more aware now.

Sex Education actually got better as the seasons went on. And season 4 was an excellent finale to it. I know it's not a show for everyone but I think it should be.

Before I say farewell to Sex Education once and for all, I went back to read my reviews for seasons 2 and 3. And wow, my thoughts each season really go back and forth. (Sarcastically) I love the fact that none of my wishes for season 4 happened, at all.

Rating: ★★★★☆

P.S.: I did not realise how much I liked the secondary school teachers until they had that small appearance.

More on Sex Education here: Season 2 | Season 3