#probably won't do this for actual story posts

[medicinemane]

Sorry, I was just passing by this post again, and I checked out the link cause part of me if I was younger and near New Jersey would like to do this... and as I was on that page I wondered something to myself, I wondered how much does this cost?

$15,965.00

And I know that people need to be compensated for their time, but what I'm saying is just maybe if we need more glass blowers we need to subsidize programs like these so people won't end up with $16k of student loans for 2 years of school... that might be a bit of a barrier to... well... frankly more than a few people, even if it's followed up with a good job

(I've noticed similar issues in the past when looking into various trades... the way to get into them is probably to find someone to apprentice under, but when I looked into the schools it was a similar story)

This isn't to knock the school or the program, and I actually think if you're interested you should do it, it sounds real interesting and important and in another life I'd be doing it

What I'm saying is this is one of the structural problems with out society

We have these shortages, we have load bearing jobs we desperately need, but we refuse to reform the systems so as to not strangle the life out of the people who might be willing to become the new generation that does them

$16,000 of debt is a fine thank you to give someone learning to do a job out society can't function without

the world is running out of glassblowers and yet you want to become a fucking doctor

[truelovepolinator]

Why I'm So Sure It's Luke

I've been pretty quiet here for a while. Much of that is because of the state of the world. I had a bit of a deep spiral last weekend about things happening in my country.

And I confess that the FB comment and funeral hubbub sent me into a corresponding (though temporary) Lukola spiral to which I was doubtless more vulnerable due to my already depressed state. Did I really have to lose my daily dopamine drip (aka, Lukola) just when I needed it most?

Short answer: Absolutely not.

I had already started to pull myself out of my Lukola spiral by Monday (the other spiral is still very deep), and video and photos of Nic that emerged on Tuesday and Wednesday shored me up until I was back to effing rock solid.

I often see things I don't agree with, even on the blogs of folks with whom I usually agree, and I simply move on most of the time. I don't comment. I feel no need to argue with people in their own blogs. In friendly spaces, I'll sometimes share counter opinions because I believe respectful dialogue and debate are important — and have all but disappeared in this era of instant blocks. And we all want to share information and opinions that help us fine tune our perspectives.

But if they're clearly dug into an opinion that I view as wildly wrong, there's little value for me in arguing with them. Let them think what they want. It's not my job to change anyone's mind.

The jakola takes are the easiest to ignore for obvious reasons. I've written extensively about JD's role in Nicola's life and there's no need to do so here. (Feel free to read my other posts if you need clarity around N & J's non-romantic relationship.)

Instead, the takes I find the most frustrating are from the Lukolas who have lost hope, the so-called "realistic" ones who think that we "just have to accept that they're not together," and maybe even that "Luke is with Ant."

To this, I respectfully say, we absolutely do not have to accept any such thing because the evidence is fully on our side.

Truth be told, I suspect I'm most vexed by these posts because I used to be one of those "realists." In late summer/early autumn, I had fallen victim to the fake narratives created by the paparazzi shots of both Nic and Luke, all designed to imply a certain narrative without either of them actually saying those things were true. I always believed NicLuke belonged together. However, I reluctantly accepted that "I guess Luke is probably seeing her" and "not sure about that guy, but the photos of Nic and him do look cozy."

I understand the impulse to surrender. It's so hard to have faith, to keep believing in something when there's an apparent narrative being constructed in the public eye that tells you you're wrong. It's painful (and feels delulu) to keep believing when you've been let down repeatedly by pap photos you assume are true.

It's very easy to accept a false narrative if you don't have the energy to dig in and really pay attention to all the signs and information available when you look for it. (This is true on the world stage as well, and we should all think very critically about the stories we're being told, but I digress.)

I wrote extensively and in gory detail about how and why I'm so sure about Lukola in my blog post "Nicola and Luke Are Absolutely Together...," which I'll link here for anyone who wants persuasion or reassurance. I won't rehash all of that here, but I do want to touch on a handful of milestones & crumbs, many of which are recent, that make me quite sure about Luke being the man in Nicola's life.

One of the recent assertions I saw was that we need to let go of the significance of the Claddagh ring. (I'm not putting anyone on blast. I can't even remember who said this, and I think it was someone I like, so no offense.) But I could not disagree with this more.

Claddagh rings are worn to represent relationship status more than anything. Yes, they can be given in friendship, but the orientation of the ring on the wearer's finger is fundamental to understanding the ring. Only someone with no connection whatsoever to its heritage or meaning would throw it on willy nilly in any direction they pleased.

Not everyone follows the rules closely. I wore mine for years, on my left ring finger, heart down when I was free, heart up when I was taken. I only stopped wearing it when I replaced it with my engagement ring. (Obviously, I was not following the traditional 4 steps.)

Some wear it just on a single hand, whichever they choose. Some might wear it just while single (even engaged), then replace it when married. Some use it to indicate engagement and marriage when that time comes, others focus solely on taken or not. Admittedly, not everyone follows every step closely.

However, Nicola is from Galway where the ring originated. She is deeply proud of her Irish heritage. There is no chance she would put that ring on any finger with the heart pointing toward her heart unless her heart was taken.

Now, let's remember that she picked that ring up while she was in Galway during the World Tour. She modeled that ring in Chupi photographs, with the heart pointing up (heart taken) wearing the same outfit she wore to the screening. The same screening where she hugged her mother to within an inch of her life, then introduced her mom to Luke. That was the most tearful, emotional intro I've ever seen between a guy and his platonic co-worker's mom, huh?

Hypothetically, could her heart have been taken by someone else at that stage? Well, do you really think a secret significant other — who was important enough to warrant a "heart taken" ring orientation — would be okay with Nicola not only getting the ring while she's physically with Luke (and flirting heavily), but also making that showy, deeply emotional introduction between her mother and Luke? If you were her secret, non-Luke SO, would you be okay with it?

There is literally no chance.

Chupi told us that ring was to commemorate Season 3 of Bridgerton. Again, would a secret, non-Luke SO be fine with her wearing a ring that symbolizes her Polin season with Luke as a symbol of this secret, non-Luke SO's love?

I won't even bother digging into the symbolism of the rings on the hands, but say it were true that she just wanted it to commemorate a special season. If her heart weren't taken, that ring on her finger would have pointed down. She told us the moment those photos were snapped that her heart was taken, and logic tells us that, at that moment in time, it could only have belonged to Luke.

Since then, lots of things have happened. There were pap photos galore, all telling a very different story, right? Again, it's very easy to accept a false narrative when it's spoon fed to you. But gosh, wouldn't those pap photos also provide excellent cover for two people in love, possibly nesting together, who also wanted to keep their love very, very private?

I talk a lot more about this in the above linked blog (and others) and I'm not going to tackle it here. If you don't want to believe it, that's your prerogative, but if you're curious about whether it could possibly be true, I encourage you to have a read.

So set aside the adjacents for now and focus exclusively on our girl Nic. What we know is that she wore that ring consistently through the summer and early fall, on her right hand, heart pointing up (heart taken). Then, in October, she switched it to her left hand.

Again, not everyone follows every traditional Claddagh step, but Nicola is a Galway Girl. If she's been wearing it consistently on the right, then suddenly switches it to the left where she continues to keep it consistently, she's not oblivious to the meaning of that switch. That switch is deeply significant.

Remember, the left hand is traditionally the hand where it's worn to indicate engagement (heart down) and marriage (heart up). And when she switched, she kept the heart pointing up.

Does that absolutely mean she's married? No. As always, we don't know any of them personally, so we can't say for sure. But simple, not-a-reach logic tells us that the way she's worn that ring is significant.

With that ring, Nicola has told us in no uncertain terms that she is in a significant, committed relationship (possibly engaged or married since October). And she's been in that relationship (or at least committed in her heart to that relationship) consistently since at least June (really, late April/early May when she commissioned it).

Will we ever know exactly what happened last summer while she and Luke were apart (Sorrento, Spain, Malta, etc.)? No, we won't — and frankly it’s none of our business (as curious as we may be).

But we know that Nicola's heart was taken by the same person throughout. Because logically, would she really have been so into Luke in June when all of the above happened (commission, putting it on, meeting mom)... then break it off... then, by October, find a new person to be so committed to switch her ring to the left hand? The math just doesn't math on that one.

It was Luke in June and it was Luke in October. And she's still wearing that ring in the same direction as of Wednesday night. So yes, it's still Luke.

But I promised you more recent hints and crumbs to support my certainty. Honestly, @frantastical has this stuff so magnificently catalogued that you really should check out that incredibly comprehensive "Multitude of Morsels" if you haven't already.

Still, here's a small handful of (by no means comprehensive) things I've seen with my own eyes in just the last month that have told me I'm sitting in exactly the right restaurant on exactly the right ship:

New Pink News story posted with an old quote (that would have been approved by Nic's team) where Nicola says, "That's all I want, is the girls and the gays. And Luke."

Both Ryan Wheeler and Shondaland openly shipping Lukola ("get married for real")

Nic's year-end photo dump threaded through with Luke, both directly and indirectly

Luke's year-end photo dump threaded through with Nic

Even one of Nic’s Doctor Who photos, which isn't associated with Bridgerton at all, managed to nod at Luke

Video clip re-emerges of the Featherington women giggling when Bessie teases, "Well, two people fell in looove, I gueeessss," then they all giggle and agree that they can't say who

Both of them unaccounted for over Christmas and New Year's (days that are usually spent with significant others) while the adjacents were both accounted for on both holidays

Old story somehow emerges in which Nicola says Luke makes everything better, and Luke says about the "friends to lovers" story that "that's what happened to us when we met." (I'm probably slightly paraphrasing, but close enough.)

Nicola turns up with a tan

Luke turns up with a tan

Luke comes online very briefly, just long enough to congratulate Nic on her SAG nomination, cheering on his queen, and then he's gone

Nicola posts a birthday photo that appears to be a cozy dinner for two with several hints of Luke, most notably the red and yellow flowers (red is for love; most people focused on yellow being for friendship, and I think that's true, but I also very much think it's for Polin. And either way, "friends to lovers" or "love and Polin," those flowers say Luke.)

Luke likes a Jack Rooke post about Big Boys. Bearing in mind that JR is one of Nicola's longstanding, closest friends, this clearly suggests Luke is getting to know him

Nicola swoops in to distract from last weekend's mess with a new, obviously staged pap drop (based on weather, likely from a while in the past and kept on hand for when it was needed), once again protecting Luke and his family

And then there are a handful of crumbs and hints that point to something else that I've been reluctant to talk about. I still won't get into it here, but I will say that there are definitely recent things that are suggesting to me a very specific, very happy story. These include:

ETA: Photo of Nic with two Dunkin drinks & two straws (drinking for two?)

"Shit Stirrer" tee-shirt, holding shirt just so with photo cropped very particularly (who exactly is the shit stirrer in that photo?)

"May your 2025 be as happy as this potato made me" (which potato?)

Video with the hot water bottle

Big Boys (clearly wearing the ring)

And that is literally all I will say about that. But let's just remember that all of this has taken place while Nicola continues to wear that Claddagh ring on her left hand, pointed toward her heart. Even in those silly pap photos with Jake from Monday.

The only times we've seen her without it were when she wore special, fancy jewelry for events (showy hand jewelry that she could prominently display by placing her hands in front of her stomach instead of on her waist or hips). Every other time, it's either there or her hands are (perhaps intentionally) hidden.

Doubtless some "realistic Lukolas" will read this and say, "But you're ignoring all the photos of Jake and obvious proof of how close they are."

To which I reply, "Yes, I am." Because I've written loads about that relationship, what it is, why it is so heavily documented, and what they each get out of it (other than friendship). Again, if you want to know more, feel free to read my blog. But those photos mean nothing to me because I understand the truth that lies beneath them. I have absolutely nothing against Jake. I think he's been a good friend to Nic, but that's all he is.

Meanwhile, we've seen nary a peep from Luke except to cheer on his girl, and going back a bit further, that very happy looking S4 selfie with Nic. Has anyone ever noticed how much more he smiles with Nicola than anyone else? His actual smile ratio with Nic compared to literally anyone else is off the charts.

So, yeah, it's Luke all the way. I don't know for sure when it started (might tackle that in a different blog), and I'm not sure how many times they've pressed the on/off button before locking in, but I absolutely believe they are fully locked in now. The evidence is everywhere.

As always, I say these two things. First, we know nothing for sure until Nic or Luke or both of them together make it absolutely, incontrovertibly clear to us. So could I be wrong? Yes, it's certainly possible. If I'm wrong, I'll admit it, and I admit right now that I will be heartbroken. I'm not going to front about this. But I don't think I'm wrong.

Second, you are very free to draw different conclusions. However, if you wish to do so, I invite you to consider the evidence as presented first. Especially if you've given up the ship because you're afraid to believe.

Have no fear, Lukolas. The evidence is on your side.

[ihopesocomic]

Speaking about the too many characters issue you pointed out early; isn't that an overall issue on most internet based works? The ones that promote the characters first and the story second?

There are a lot of projects that end up giving more time to Toyhouse profiles, AMVs and stuff on every single background character than in the full work. Is there any advice to deal with that?

Not saying that IHS is the case, considering that it's not finished in the slightest, obv.

You would know better than me if it was a common problem on internet based works. I wouldn't be surprised if it is. I just don't read that many things online. But I do see a lot more voice acting calls than actual results lol so you're probably right.

Some people's stories are only relegated to toyhouse profiles and I think that's an interesting way to do it. It's when people rely on the profiles to get across important information about characters that should be in the comic/cartoon/what have you when it becomes an issue. This isn't counting people who just need a reference to remember who people are. I can admit when it's a me problem versus a problem with the narrative haha

But we've said this a few times before, characters should have a point. And if characters can be consolidated, they should. Like in MP you could have the same plot if you combined Quickmane and Proudmane. Because the exact same outcome happens anyway.

I worried about us having too many characters, especially since we ended up adding more as we went. But it helped that the protagonists were on a journey so the irrelevant characters would be moved on from. I believe that helps with the readers being able to keep track of everyone, because while they're dealing with Edge and his family, they don't have to think about the leopards. Stuff like that. And with all these characters it's just as well we kept their names as one-word names. So while there may be multiple Storm's in this universe, there will be only one Storm in the comic, otherwise it'd really be confusing haha

I can't remember exactly what it was, but I've seen cartoons and live action shows where a character doesn't even have a name until they become relevant to the plot. In books I've read, they'd probably have a name just to make the world feel more natural, as we address people we know by name, but we don't need their life's story to understand why they exist. That should be reserved for your main cast. And in Clouded Moon, we don't even know who Spottedshadow's parents are until like the middle of the story, and then that sort of reveals that Hazelstar and Forestleaf are her grandparents. I feel like that would be important. Or it should be.

This'll be the last time we bring up Clouded Moon. We won't be responding to any more anons about it because we'd just be repeating ourselves. So any comments can be directed to replies on the initial post discussing it. - Cat

[starquestingfordrarry]

writing interview

thank you for the tag @xalandrix! You should go read their post because they've got so many banger fics

how many works do you have on ao3? 28, and 3 unrevealed

what's your total ao3 word count? 221,659 😲

your top 5 stories by kudos

All These Winding Threads | E | 35k

Half Sick of Shadows | E | 40k

Of easy wind and downy flake | E | 14k

Simulation Theory | E | 35k

Draco L Malfoy (the L stands for legs) | E | 1.8k

do you respond to comments? yeah!

what's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? hmmm, I don't know because I don't like angsty endings 🤣 but my most open ending is Your Hot Hands maybe?

what's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? Gotta be With Love in Her Luminous Eyes - families and homes are found, plus it has a fluffy sequel

do you write crossovers? not yet - unlikely to because they don't fit in my head logically, but never say never

have you ever received hate on a fic? no! somehow I have been very lucky in that respect

do you write smut? hell yeah

have you ever had a fic stolen? not that I'm aware of

have you ever had a fic translated? yeah! both lips on the mirror has been translated to french

have you ever co-written a fic? not yet, but I SWEAR I WILL

what's your all-time favorite ship? hmmmmmmmmmm HMMMMMMMM

what's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? I refuse to acknowledge that I won't finish everything I've started. I'm in denial.

what are your writing strengths? oh god don't make me write nice things about myself. Um, descriptions. The rhythm of my sentences. Word choice.

what are your writing weaknesses? paring things down -- my betas are essential for this. Sometimes writing things that only make sense to me. Plotting. Actually sitting down and doing the damn thing.

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? it's cool, but I especially like when the authors do that neat formatting thing with the footnotes

what's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to? I have a list! pretty much any and all w/w ships in HP, jayvik (once I watch season 2), shallan/kaladin/adolin and kaladin/adolin (again, once I catch up on all the Stormlight books), and recently I was thinking about suffering through the rest of the fourth wing books to write fic because god they are so bad but the dragon shit is so cool! the world seems really fun to play in. BUT, if I'm being really honest, it will probably just be more drarry 😅

what's your favorite thing you've ever written? I think it's still Half Sick of Shadows because I'm really pleased with my literary allusions and I love the OC's I came up with and I love the setting so much.

tagging @drarrymyheart, @lqtraintracks, @greattemptation, @arminaa8, @smehur, @badwolfblues, and anyone else who feels like playing <3

[the-way-astray]

WAIT PLZ ELABORATE ABT THE ALDEN IS BETTER THAN GRADY? IM SO CURIOUS /gen

alright, anon, and everyone else i’m tagging. originally, this was going to be a "this is why alden is a better father than grady" rant, since it was supposed to include an argument defending some of alden's most controversial parenting choices and also point out grady's worst parenting choices. but i dropped the grady portion, so now this is just an alden defense rant containing two sections ("the forbidden cities" and "keefe's flashback short story breakdown"). so that's this entire post. i'll probably do the grady thing some other time, and it won't be as in-depth as this. probably, it will just be a bullet point list of some weird shit he does, and that's it.

taglist: @absolutely-existing @multi-fandom-lunatic @thatrandomlemononyourcounter1 @worldsunlikemyown @icantrememberwhoiwaslastdecember @lucentstarss

section one: the forbidden cities

the main gripe most people have with alden is probably the sending fitz and alvar into the forbidden cities thing. let’s talk about why this was decidedly not a shitty thing for alden to do.

part one: were fitz and alvar in any danger in the forbidden cities?

a lot of people try to make the argument that fitz and alvar, especially fitz, could've run into danger while in the forbidden cities. while there was no way to make it truly risk-free, i do think that these arguments are blown out of proportion. here's a quote:

(keeper, chapter 2)

fitz explicitly says that he was actually only sent to check alden’s guesses. he was not sent to wander around the forbidden cities looking for random girls. he was sent to confirm or deny alden’s theories, which alden came up himself (we can extrapolate and assume the same of alvar). which brings up an interesting point: many people claim alden should’ve done the search himself, instead of sending his six-year-old out to do it. to which i say, he . . . did? the only part of the search fitz was involved with was the confirmation. the rest was done entirely by alden and quinlin:

(keeper, chapter 10)

this, i think, was a necessary evil. first of all, alden is a grown man. he’s been looking for sophie since basically birth, and i think we can all understand why that’s not a fantastic look. sending someone closer to her age makes fitz more approachable (in theory, of course. in reality, not so much, sophie still ran from fitz). also, fitz can light leap. if he was ever in danger, it would’ve only ever been the work of a moment for him to safely get away. and like i said, it really seems like fitz and alvar were only there for as long as they needed to be to confirm the girl was or was not an elf. alvar flat out admits to this:

(neverseen, chapter 65)

as for fitz, notice the second part there. he agrees with alvar. he says he almost didn’t look past sophie’s eye color. and if you read the very first chapter, you can see that he wasn’t there for long at all. it’s very likely that when sophie first sees him with the newspaper, he just leaped in a few minutes ago, and he was planning on leaving as soon as he finished talking to sophie:

(keeper, chapter 1)

so we can conclude that each excursion that fitz or alvar took was probably not longer than ten to fifteen minutes. they never spent significant chunks of time in the forbidden cities. fitz likely took maybe a couple extra seconds to grab a random thing and leave, but that’s about it. not long enough for either of them to have run into any significant danger.

part two: how did this affect fitz and alvar's school lives?

okay, you say, the forbidden cities thing might be all well and good, but what about this quote? fitz describes how alden’s search affected his school life:

(everblaze, chapter 21)

now, it is unfortunate that fitz missed a lot of school because of the search. but he doesn’t seem too torn up about it (this entire exchange with sophie here reads as very light-hearted), which i feel is relevant. this passage mostly talks about fitz's social life, and how people didn't want to hang out with him because he was disappearing all the time. though the fact remains that i genuinely don't think fitz cared all that much about this at all. he seems to be a bit of a loner at heart, not really having many friends besides keefe, biana, and biana's friend(s), like maruca. this continues even after he and keefe become "cool", so while the search clearly took a toll on his social life, it really doesn't seem to bother him that much. and i really think alden would’ve left the choice of whether or not to participate in the search up to his kids, not forcing them if they absolutely didn't want to participate. so in the case that fitz did decide he didn't want to skip so much school, i think alden would've been fine with booting him from the search. here’s a quote from alvar:

(neverseen, chapter 65)

he specifically states that the reasons he did the search were to keep his dad happy and to sneak away to the forbidden cities. also, the fact that sophie even asked this question and got a serious answer back already implies that fitz and alvar had "reasons" of their own for wanting to do the search, like the ones alvar states here. as in, their reason was not "my dad made me do it". (we're going to ignore the fact that alvar's reason likely had way more to do with helping the neverseen find sophie than anything.)

so okay, maybe alvar's just saying that, maybe he doesn't actually feel like that. to that i say, let’s look at this quote, a quote after alvar’s true colors have been revealed:

(flashback, chapter 49)

even though he is literally ranting about his parents here, nowhere, not even once, does he mention or even imply that alden forced, manipulated, or otherwise pressured him to do the search. if alvar truly held any ill will toward alden for sending him on the search, now would be the perfect time to express that. yet he doesn’t. we can extrapolate and assume the same of fitz: that alden didn’t in any way try to manipulate or trick fitz into going. i honestly believe that the second either of them had expressed that they didn’t want to do the search anymore, alden would’ve found another way. and i do think fitz would’ve expressed that if he wanted out. once again, when he tells sophie the story i quoted above (everblaze, chapter 21), it’s done very light-heartedly, with no malice toward alden that sophie can detect.

let’s talk about fitz’s academic life now. he missed a lot of school. obviously that takes a toll. but look at this quote:

(flashback, chapter 21)

fitz ranked, and probably continues to rank, number one in his entire level. he did just fine in school. alden’s search clearly didn’t impact his ability to perform well. back when i was an alden hater, i actually used this against alden, saying that if fitz ranked so high and did better than anyone else (including keefe who literally has a photographic memory), then he must’ve had to work incredibly hard on top of the work he already had to put into alden’s search, and we don’t know how that affected him behind the scenes. and i don’t agree with that take anymore. i think fitz would’ve told alden if it became too much for him, and even more than that, i think alden would’ve checked in with fitz proactively to make sure the combination of the search and school wasn't getting to him. there’s no evidence to confirm or deny, but i think it’s safe to assume. look no further than the reason alden even sent fitz out at six years old in the first place:

(neverseen, chapter 1)

he clearly prioritized his children's education, and when the situation called for it, he found another way. he understood that alvar wouldn't be able to sneak out of the towers anymore, and he was not willing to put alvar's education at risk. when it came to it, he always put his children before his search. he was never willing to truly sacrifice what truly mattered for his search.

also just throwing this in here, but alvar, just like fitz, did exceptionally well during his basic level years. we have no evidence that the search affected his academic life in any real way, but rather the opposite (that he did just fine):

(nightfall, chapter 16)

section two: keefe's flashback short story breakdown

(note: i will be using this transcription by @/kotlc-deleted-scenes for quotes. in case you weren't aware, there's a blog entirely dedicated to transcribing exclusive scenes, deleted quotes, and other not-widely-known extra kotlc material. check it out if you haven't read all the short stories. okay, advertising over.)

so i don't like ro. that's a subject for another time, but my hatred for her particularly manifests in this scene, because i think a lot of people see her interpretation of what alden is saying, and then take it as some gospel truth. but the only perspectives we're seeing here, actually, are keefe's (because it's his pov) and ro's (because she can't keep her mouth shut). we don't know what alden's thinking or what he means when he says what he's saying. all we get is keefe and ro's almost-certainly skewed views on this scene. so just keep that in mind as you read this entire short story.

i feel like there's a good chunk of people out there that genuinely think alden went there that day with the intention to tell keefe to stay away from sophie and let sophie be with fitz and stop trying to mess with sophie and fitz's relationship and back off, keefe. this is blatantly false. he came there with the intention to invite keefe to the tribunal, and because of ro he ended up needing to justify his decision to ask keefe and sophie to be there. which is fine! it's not like keefe didn't deserve an explanation. but then you can't get mad when he explains his reason, which is perfectly valid.

so let's talk about why ro's outburst is, in my opinion, not grounded in any sort of reality. first of all, alden says fitz doesn't exactly excel at controlling his temper (true). he then asks keefe (an empath, and also fitz's "best friend") to help calm fitz down. honestly, i shouldn't have to explain this, since alden says this all himself.

ro's comment seems to imply she thinks that alden's nefarious little plan here is to let fitz take his anger out on keefe for no reason. but that's clearly not what's going on? he invited sophie because he thinks fitz needs her, and invited keefe because he doesn't want fitz to take his anger out on sophie. he doesn't want fitz to take it out on keefe, either. he just thinks keefe is better able to stop fitz from doing something he'll regret than sophie is. he doesn't want to see either keefe or sophie be the target of fitz's temper, and just thinks keefe is better equipped to handle it than sophie is.

whether or not alden is correct with this line of reasoning, i think, is a different discussion entirely (the fact that he later implies sophie and fitz will inevitably end up together, while also not being confident they can handle their own problems without a third-party friend intervening is . . . contradictory, to say the least). but he was speaking his mind, and while he might have been wrong, he was not being manipulative, which seems to be the argument here.

so alden thinks fitz "needs" sophie. i'd once again argue that he's wrong, but i would not argue that he's being manipulative. he then, and this is important, seems nervous and tentative as his eyes shift to keefe, because he knows that keefe has a crush on sophie. now, before i tackle that whole thing, i’d like to once again emphasize that alden did not come to the shores of solace with the intention of telling keefe to let fitz have sophie or whatever. they shouldn’t even be having this conversation right now, honestly, but since ro is so fucking annoying, they are. alden’s intention with this visit was to request keefe go to the tribunal. that’s literally it. that’s all. this fitz-and-sophie tangent is a side quest.

okay, back to the main point. here’s what alden sees: two teenagers that have a crush on each other, and a third that has unreciprocated feelings for one of them. all three of the teenagers are friends. he is trying to preserve all three friendships, and i'd argue that he's especially trying to prevent keefe from heartbreak. again, is alden right about the whole sophie-fitz-keefe love triangle situation? no. but that doesn't make him manipulative. not only does he know that keefe has unreciprocated feelings for someone who has reciprocated feelings for someone else, but he's aware that keefe knows this, too. (side note: when i say keefe has unreciprocated feelings for sophie, who has reciprocated feelings for fitz, i mean that it was known she had a crush on fitz, and if you want to argue she had hidden feelings for keefe, you at least have to admit that she wasn't aware of them at this point in time. keefe's reaction to alden's words ("he was always trying hard not to think about it, because it made him want to punch things") only makes it clearer to me that keefe himself is also aware that sophie has known feelings for fitz.) once again, reading alden's body language clearly reveals how gently he's trying to communicate this, and i'd even argue that he doesn't want to even be saying any of this at all. but once again, we can blame ro for all our problems.

will ro keep her goddamned mouth shut. anyway. i'm not going to talk about how weird it is to imply that sophie doesn't know her own feelings, because that's not what this is about. but even if sophie doesn't know her own feelings, it's still incredibly insensitive to disregard the fact that she likes fitz here and now.

alden goes on to say that sophie doesn't know what she feels because fitz hasn't confessed his feelings yet, which may seem like he doesn't care about sophie (or keefe) as much as he does fitz, but again. he seems super convinced that sophie and fitz like each other (which they do, at this point). he wants them to be happy together. there's some cognitive dissonance about the true nature of their relationship, but his heart is in the right place. and once again, he is not telling this to keefe because he sees keefe as competition for fitz over sophie. he's telling this to keefe because he doesn't want him to do something that would endanger his relationship with either fitz or sophie.

and keefe knows this, too. he literally states in that last part that he's well aware sophie and fitz like each other, and that at one point he's going to have to deal with that even though he has a crush on sophie. so you can't even argue that alden's line of reasoning is illogical. it's wrong, but it's a logical conclusion to come to.

that top paragraph there once again reveals why alden is doing any of this at all. he just wants keefe to get out of this situation without any heartbreak because he knows keefe has an unreciprocated crush on sophie. keefe, being sixteen, vehemently denies this. and you can see that alden is not being particularly nosy here, actually. he corrects keefe when keefe lies, but he doesn't pressure keefe to talk about it, and doesn't ask any further questions. he's just letting keefe know that he is aware of the entire situation.

maybe if ro wasn't here to skew everyone's view of what's going on here, people wouldn't fall for the alden-is-evil-and-trying-to-manipulate-keefe propaganda so readily because every. single. word. of that sentiment in this story comes from ro. alden is not meddling. if anyone's meddling, it's ro. in fact, ro has gone and continues to go way past meddling in future books, but. that's besides the point.

and yes, this is the definition of caring. once again want to remind everyone that alden did not come here with the intention of telling keefe to let sophitz happen. the conversation took an unexpected twist and now they're here. and as i've already said, alden's body language suggests anything from trying his best to prod gently and let keefe down easy all the way to being uncomfortable that this conversation is even happening at all. but every piece of advice he's given keefe up until this point is valid.

and i know the alden antis knows this well because every time keefe starts monologuing (in an incredibly forced manner) about how he's not going to sabotage sophitz's relationship and how he's going to wait until sophie's ready and how he'd never listen to ro about shooting his shot and how he's ready to support sophitz even though he has a crush on sophie, everyone acts like he's some brave martyr that's willing to be in all this pain as long as sophie's happy and talks about how amazing and angelic and kind and perfect he is as a love interest for her. but when alden says virtually the same thing, the only difference being that he's a third party character, people immediately paint him as the devil incarnate. so keefe deciding that he's not going to wreck sophitz's relationship by staying out of it is selfless and sweet, but alden giving keefe advice to do that same exact thing is somehow cruel or manipulative?

and i have no idea why people have such a problem with alden pointing out that he sees keefe as a son. like. point out the part in that sentence where alden is manipulating keefe. i would like to see it. he's just stating a fact. sorry him stating a fact pissed you all off so bad. there's literally an actual-book flashback scene where alden is the first person in keefe's entire life to tell him that he's proud of him. have we missed the fact that keefe has seen alden as a father figure, too? the fact that this is not made-up, not just being stated out of the blue, but rather just an assurance of something both of them already know?

alright then . . . now let's talk about the part where this entire story is told from keefe's perspective (and ro's, because again, she cannot keep her mouth shut). he feels hurt, and i'm not saying he doesn't have the right to. being told your crush doesn't like you out loud probably hurts. so yes, he doesn't feel good. but that doesn't mean that alden is in the wrong here for what he told keefe. it just means keefe has a crush that seems to be unrequited right now, and that having an unrequited crush hurts.

we are going to ignore the fact that this is my favorite part . . . anyway. ahem. this is very important, so listen up, folks. alden sees himself in keefe. this entire scene, i guarantee you, what's running through his head is the fact that (he thinks) he was in keefe's exact position at one point. he understands keefe's position, and he wants keefe to know this. this is why he tells keefe this story. because he doesn't want keefe to misinterpret what he's saying as malicious or a personal attack on keefe (the way ro is). he's saying this because he's trying to spare keefe the heartbreak that he went through.

keefe then appears to be in denial. sixteen year old boy. i think the most important thing here is that alden bypasses lecturing keefe on how one day he'll find his true match. this implies two things to me: one, alden is just as uncomfortable with this conversation as keefe is and is trying to end it quickly and painlessly for them both, and two, alden can sense that keefe is uncomfortable and doesn't want to draw this out for him. both things show that alden understands keefe's position and also once again nails in the fact that alden never wanted or intended to have this conversation at all.

okay. now to what is probably the most controversial thing alden says: "let them be happy". alright . . . this is not an inherently bad thing to say. like please explain to me why this is a shitty thing for alden to say. remember: alden sees three friends, two with reciprocated feelings for one another and a third with unreciprocated feelings for one of the pair. and it's once again also something keefe himself thinks . . . so much of his pov in unlocked and unraveled is just him wallowing in the fact that he has a crush on sophie who likes fitz and how he'd never even think about shoving his way in between them or whatever. it gets hella tiring to read and is clearly just shannon attempting to make up for the possessive wreck she made keefe in neverseen through nightfall . . . anyway. back to the point. this is apparently all fine and dandy for keefe to think, but when alden tells a teenager not to interfere with an assumedly reciprocal relationship between two other teenagers (and out of concern that the first teenager's heart will be broken, no less), it makes him the scourge of the earth. seriously, what is so wrong with telling keefe to let sophie and fitz be happy together. once again, alden is wrong in assuming sophie and fitz are or would be happy together but that does not make him manipulative.

again, this story is told from the perspective of sixteen year old boy with unrequited feelings. he does not feel good upon hearing these words. that doesn't mean the person who said them is in the wrong or manipulating him somehow.

important part!!!! alden once again references something that gives us a peek into his thought process: he lost both of the friendships that he had because of his feelings. he doesn't want keefe to also lose his friendships with fitz and sophie over his feelings!!!! keefe is not in the same situation that alden was in, but alden doesn't know that. he's once again wrong, not manipulative. he is trying to preserve keefe's relationships with sophie and fitz . . . what part of this is manipulative.

as for "there's only one way this ends", that was decidedly untrue and pretty shitty. but notice how after ro's comment (her only valid comment about this entire situation), he realizes he was wrong and says as much out loud. he literally admits that "only time will tell", negating his earlier statement and acknowledging that ro is right (this one time). once again, his perspective on the situation is incredibly skewed. this is why he's so insistent that there will be only one way this will end. but then, after he realizes that what he said is wrong and that actually, things can change and he is in fact talking about a group of teenagers, he concedes ro's point.

i'm going to say that again: unlike ro, alden actually concedes this point!!!! he actually admits that he was wrong and immediately walks it back. he does not "ship sophitz". he does not prioritize his son over keefe. he actually wants what's best for three teenagers he sees as his own children!!!! this is why he concedes the point to ro, that sophie (and keefe and fitz) is a teenager and may not know what she actually wants in life yet. because he cares what sophie wants. this is something i'd argue ro doesn't care about, but again. this is an alden defense rant, not a ro hate rant.

and he's right that it doesn't change where they are today and the situation they're currently in, which is still that sophie and fitz have reciprocated feelings for one another and keefe does not. any good friend would step back and not interfere in this situation. alden is literally just telling keefe to be a good friend, and from personal experience, too. what exactly is so wrong with this. please do enlighten me.

alden then leaves, having said his part. he really does not want to stretch this out, either for keefe's benefit or his own discomfort with the conversation he was lowkey backed into by ro. it's also important to note that alden does leave the choice of whether or not keefe actually wants to come to the trial up to keefe himself. keefe is sad and emotional because his crush on sophie is the size of the sun. but that doesn't take away the validity of alden's statements (given his perspective). and he does it as gently as he can. it wasn't what keefe wanted to hear, and it made him uncomfortable, but in alden's defense he never intended to have this conversation in the first place. start yelling at ro instead of alden if you're annoyed by the fact that alden would want to have this conversation with a teenager. he actually did not.

. . . and the rest of this story is just ro trying to misinterpret everything alden said in the worst way possible. if i were to try to debunk everything she said, i'd just be repeating everything i already said over and over. i've already repeated myself a lot in this section. so we aren't going to do that. hopefully looking at the things alden actually said and breaking down why they are not shitty or manipulative, even unintentionally, will be enough. once again: alden is wrong about the reality of what's going on between sophie, keefe, and fitz, but given his perspective, it is not manipulative or invalid or even illogical for him to say any of the the things he said to keefe.

and the final thing i'll say is: ro is, to put it very bluntly, what you would get if you took a sokeefe pinterest fan and dropped them into the series, allowing them to interact with the characters themselves. one of the main things we know about her is that she is the sokeefe shipper. this is obviously going to tint how she sees anyone even suggesting sokeefe aren't perfect happy couple material. in this case, everything she says implies alden is the devil incarnate for telling keefe to not interfere with his friends' relationship, and out of personal experience, too. ro's otp is then (sort of, temporarily) ruined, and she deals with this by trying to manipulate keefe into thinking alden doesn't have his best interests in mind, because alden is getting in the way of her ship. thank you, ro. you've also managed to brainwash half this fandom into thinking the same, somehow. it's not true, but somehow that's the spin that's put on it.

i urge people to try to read this short story while blocking out everything ro says, and see if that changes your opinion on what alden is saying. because i genuinely feel that ro's presence in this story is a major contributing factor to why people are so eager to turn on alden. again, everything ro says is an opinion. everything alden says is just. what he says. so just try to listen to the words he actually says and leave ro the fuck out. it may actually improve your opinion of him.

[silenzahra]

... Wait, what do you mean it'll be the first anniversary of my fic Keeping you warm in only ten days.

TEN DAYS.

WHERE DID TIME GO.

[racke7]

As I don't want to leave negativity on someone else's post, but saw something WILDLY out-of-character, when an actual in-character relationship is RIGHT FUCKING THERE.

Sakura and Shirou's kitchen-relationship:

Shirou: "I need to get there first and start breakfast, or-"

Sakura: *innocently smug* "Hello senpai, I got started without you"

Shirou internally: "Noooo, my kitchen-time is being stolen"

Shirou externally: "Ah. Well, if you've already started, how can I help?"

Sakura internally: "Yay! I won first-place, and I get to make senpai happy with my cooking now!"

Rin and Archer's kitchen-relationship:

Rin: "How dare you-!"

Archer: *smirking like a bastard* "Oh? Have I touched a nerve, Rin? Were you under the mistaken impression that your chocolate-chip cookies are in any way adequate beyond the bargain-bin at a kindergarten bake-sale?"

Rin: "... I will fucking END YOU"

Archer: *scoffs* "I should be so lucky"

[nguyenfinity]

Every time I draw Mamagi it does AoE damage (I am also in the area of effect)

Lighthearted bonus:

[avirael]

The Frozen Lake

It was the third day since he had stopped feeling like dying.

About a week ago he had woken up from his far too lifelike fever dream and a few days later the last spikes of the fever itself had been gone too just like the hallucinations it had brought in his sleep.

He still had been sick though and welcomed Rael telling him to stay in bed until he was perfectly healthy again all too eagerly.

While he still sneezed every now and then, it was at least tolerable now, still annoying but he didn’t feel incredibly uncomfortable anymore.

That day, just like the last and also the ones before that, he had awoken late. Against Rael’s order to stay in bed he had found the courage to get up and take a look out of the window. It was a sunny day, which in Coerthas still meant that it was bitterly cold though. But the sun was shining brightly and already high in the sky too which meant it had to be almost midday. He had slept way too long again, way to many hours for a surprisingly dreamless sleep. Or maybe it was exactly the lack of dreams that allowed him to finally rest, after all in the past there rarely had been good ones…

For a moment he considered to go downstairs and ask for a late breakfast if that wasn’t too insolent given the late hour but then a knock sounded from the door.

Quickly he hurried back to bed, just in case it was Rael, but the person who carefully peeked into the room a few seconds later wasn’t a viera.

“Ah, you are awake! That’s good!”, Haurchefant exclaimed happily and brought a small tray with hot soup and also something warm to drink. “It is so late already, you must be horribly hungry. Alphinaud checked in on you earlier but you were still fast asleep and he didn’t have the heart to wake you.”

A little uncertain on how to answer to that, A’viloh just nodded. Haurchefant grinned, put down a mug on the bedside table and handed A‘viloh a comfortingly warm bowl filled with some rather delicious smelling stew.

Instead of fetching the chair from the small desk by the window, Haurchefant sat down at the lower end of the bed balancing the tray with his own lunch on his knees. Rael once told him that ishgardian society had an absurd amount of strict and antiquated rules and so A’viloh couldn’t help but wonder, that although it seemed like a very appropriate distance to him, in Haurchefant’s hometown the fact alone that he dared to sit on someone else’s bed was probably scandalous.

“I hope you don’t mind me having lunch with you.”, the Elezen asked as he noticed A‘viloh staring.

Quickly the Miqo’te lowered his gaze to his bowl of soup. “Not at all.”, he muttered and tried a spoonful of the food just to change the topic. “Mhh, this is very good!”, he mumbled, still chewing, surprised by how good this really was compared to the bland food and bitter teas Rael had usually brought him these last few days. It must have been the Viera’s way of punishing him for running away.

Haurchefant laughed and then for a while they ate in silence.

“You look a lot healthier already.”, the Elezen stated after a while with an amiable smile on his face before taking a sip from his mug.

A‘viloh shrugged a little embarrassed, since it had been his own fault that he hadn’t been well in the first place. “Only because all of you took so good care of me.”

Haurchefant nodded. “You know, you had us all horribly worried right?”

“Sorry about that.”, he said and guitily looked into his mug.

Curiously Haurchefant eyed him for a moment. “Why did you do that anyway? Run out into the storm.”

A bit surprised A’viloh looked up. Had they all thought he had done this on purpose? “There wasn’t a storm when I left! What do I know about weather? I didn’t expect it to start snowing, let alone that much!”

That made the Elezen chuckle again but he still looked at him expecting an answer.

“Still… why did you leave?”

“I assumed Rael told you…”, A’viloh replied not sure what Haurchefant wanted to hear exactly. He nodded. “Rael did. But maybe I want to hear it from you…”

A’viloh sighed. His plan hadn’t been very smart and he felt a little uncomfortable having to explain his reasons to someone else, when in retrospect it didn’t make much sense even to his own ears.

“You know the… circumstances under which we fled Ul’dah… I couldn’t… um… the fact that we didn’t even know what happened to our friends… I wanted to find out, because it doesn’t seem fair to me that we escaped while all of them didn’t…”

“Mhh…”, Haurchefant nodded thoughtfully but let go off the topic for now. Instead he asked, „And how are you feeling today?”

Somehow that question confused A’viloh even more.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a simple question, isn’t it?”, he said still smiling politely.

Of course it was a simple question. Just the answer felt unreasonable complicated to him. To make things even more difficult people who asked such a question usually wanted to hear “I‘m fine, and you?” or “Very good, thank you.” for an answer and rarely the truth. They certainly didn’t want to hear “A few days ago I was convinced I was going to die and honestly it wasn’t that bad, so now I‘m still not sure wether I am happy to still be alive or not”.

“Alright… I guess.”, he mumbled instead. He had never been a good liar and could only hope that this fact wasn’t too obvious for the Elezen.

“You know what?”, Haurchefant proclaimed after watching him thoughtfully for a second. “Today is a wonderful day. We should go for a walk.”

“A walk?!”, A’viloh exclaimed wide-eyed, as if he had just asked something unreasonable of him.

“Why not?”

A’viloh couldn’t think of a good reason why not, other than that he was supposed to stay in bed, so he shrugged.

“Where’s Rael?”, he asked instead.

Haurchefant smirked. “Do you need Rael’s permission to go outside?”

“Of course not.”, the Miqo’te protested. “But Rael will be mad if I run off again, especially against their orders to stay in bed.”

“Rael and Alphinaud went to the observatory earlier.”, Haurchefant explained. “We’ll be back before they are, I promise.”

What was A’viloh supposed to say against that and also against the expectant look on the Elezen’s face. He took another glimpse towards the window and decided that it looked nice enough to go outside.

“Fine.”

“Good!”, Haurchefant exclaimed happily and collected their empty bowls and mugs. “There should be warm clothes for you in the wardrobe. If you need anything else just ask someone. I’ll wait for you by the northern gate.”

After Haurchefant had left, A’viloh remained sitting in his bed for a moment longer contemplating on the Elezen’s question. Yes, he felt better again. But better in what comparison? Better than a few days ago when he had felt and also been half-dead? Though he didn’t feel sick anymore now, there still was a weigh on his heart. From his plan that had failed so spectacularly and even more so from the dreams he wouldn’t have minded to keep on dreaming forever.

Vehemently he shook his head and decided not to think about that now or he would just crawl back under the blanket of his comfortably warm bed again. Instead he got up and took a look into the wardrobe. Almost none of these were his own clothes of course since all he possessed were the ones he had worn on his body that day they fled Ul’dah. Very unsuitable for this climate. But neither did he see the borrowed clothes he had worn that night when he had tried to run away. Everything in here looked even softer and warmer like someone had wanted to make sure he was feeling comfortable. To his surprise the things didn’t look that much too big for him either, unlike his last set of clothes. Besides a few Hyur most people here at Camp Dragonhead were grown up Elezen but these clothes looked like they belonged to neither. Maybe it were clothes for Elezen children, he wondered and also thought that in that case someone must have brought them here just for him.

Grateful for so much effort he picked a few pieces and got dressed. Lazily he ran his fingers through his hair to get rid of the worst knots but the look into the small mirror at the washbasin, where his tired face stared back at him reproachfully, just made him sigh. Once he was ready he took the warm coat out of the wardrobe too and went out to look for Haurchefant. Just as he had said, the Elezen was standing by the gate that led to the north-east, towards the ruins of the Steel Vigil.

From afar Haurchefant already recognised the Miqo’te, his bright red hair a singularity among all the people living here. Pleasantly smiling as always he waved at him and A’viloh couldn’t help but smile a little too and wave back as he hurriedly walked towards him.

“There you are! I see the clothes fit you nicely.”

A’viloh nodded.

“They do. Thank you very much for these.”

Haurchefant dismissively waved with one hand. “It’s the least I could do…”

But he had done a lot more than that, A’viloh thought. “I think there’s more I need to thank you for. Rael told me it was you who saved my life.”

“Mhhh…”, Haurchefant tilted his head as if he wasn’t sure if this statement was entirely the truth. “Rael is too humble. They played a bit of a role in that too. After all it was Rael who noticed you were gone. And it was also Rael who didn’t leave your bedside and tried their best to heal you.”

A’viloh remembered waking up and finding the usually quite touch-averse viera cuddled up to him with a look on their face so horribly sad like he had never seen on them before. Rael had pretended it was nothing but it had been a very unconvincing performance. Asked about it Alphinaud had only offered a few sentences about how worried Rael had looked and how they had used all kinds of spells he himself had never seen or heard of before, all of it to try and save him. It had made him feel even more guilty for his stupidity.

So maybe Haurchefant was right. But still it had been him who had risked going out into the storm to find him.

“Anyway. I still want to thank you! Honestly.”, he insisted. But how honestly was it really?

Sure, he was glad to still be alive. After all his plan hadn’t been to run out into a blizzard and freeze to death, although some of them seemed to think that was the case. But once he found himself in this situation he had to admit that he had welcomed his fate rather willingly. A fact that shocked even himself a little looking back at it now.

“You’re welcome. After all you wouldn’t be any help to your friends frozen to death out there.”, Haurchefant joked with a wry smile on his lips.

“I guess not...”, A’viloh muttered, the topic of his friends making his mood visibly sink again.

Of course the Elezen noticed and his smile turned into a playful grin. “But I acted a little selfish too, you know? I think Camp Dragonhead is a lot friendlier with your company and I would like to have you and your pretty smile around a little longer.”

For a moment A’viloh’s eyes shot up to look at the others face before he quickly pretended that something somewhere a little bit to his left was a lot more interesting. Sometimes Haurchefant randomly said things, A’viloh hadn’t had the slightest idea how to react to. Not because he was that oblivious but simply because it puzzled him. Nonetheless the air suddenly didn’t feel that cold anymore on his face.

Haurchefant was always very kind to him. Well, he mostly was kind to everybody but sometimes he seemed to admire him especially. Him of all people, although there was nothing special about him. Haurchefant sometimes spoke of him like he was one of the greatest heroes of all time and it felt so ridiculous to him. He was just silly, cowardly A‘viloh! What had he ever achieved in his miserable life to justify such admiration? The people called him a Warrior of Light but wasn’t that some grand overstatement? Some days he thought all of this had been a horrible mistake. A great misunderstanding! Then he wondered how he had ever gotten entangled in this madness in the first place and also if he ever would get out of it again. But what else should he do with his life anyway...

While A’viloh’s brain still screeched in desperate search for a proper response, Haurchefant seemed to realise he had flustered him and glossed it over by gesturing to the gate.

“How about we walk a few yalms? There’s something you need to see!”

Still too dumbstruck to speak or to even wonder what the Elezen was talking about, A’viloh nodded and then proceeded to follow him out into the snowy landscape.

After a few minutes Haurchefant paused and took a deep breath. “Isn’t the air wonderful today?”

A’viloh followed his example, breathed deeply and let his gaze wander over the snow covered landscape with a few pines here and there and the mountains and ruins of the Steel Vigil in the distance. The air was cool and fresh, still cold enough that the warm sun couldn’t melt the snow. Instead the rays of sunshine made the scenery shine and sparkle as if everything was covered not in ice but in millions over millions of tiny diamonds.

“It is.”, he answered and smiled, surprised how beautiful this inhospitable landscape could be, before with a sudden spark of curiosity he finally asked. “Where are we going?”

“It’s not far anymore.”, Haurchefant said with a grin on his face and pointed into another direction. Shortly after and only a bit further ahead they reached a small lake.

As they got closer A‘viloh noticed that it not only was covered in a layer of snow and ice but also that quite a few off-duty soldiers, given the proximity to the camp he assumed they had to be, were standing right on top of the frozen lake. No, they were not quite standing. It looked more like they were dancing or flying maybe. More or less gracefully they moved over the lake‘s surface in fluid swift strides, some just moving in wide circles and other swirling around this way or that. A’viloh had never seen something like this and it looked strange and impossible but at the same time very beautiful to him.

The two of them had almost reached the lake by then, A’viloh a few steps ahead to get a better look at the wondrous people on the ice and he already wanted to ask how they did that, when his attention was drawn elsewhere by a curious squawking sound.

“Oh! Look at them!”, the Miqo’te exclaimed, his fascinated smile still turning a little brighter, as he gestured to a small flock of wild geese resting at the shore of the lake. With ruffled feathers they sat closely huddled together at the edge of the ice and suddenly A‘viloh couldn’t help but worry about them. They looked so unbothered by his presence, sleeping through the day and all the hubbub around them, looking all exhausted and frozen with their puffed up feathers. Like anything could happen to them and they wouldn’t even mind.

Strangely he wondered what he himself had looked like when Haurchefant had found him unconscious in the snow. He must have been a pitiful sight. Had the Elezen thought him beyond saving too, just like he himself had. What if he had found him a little later or not at all? Maybe that would have been better, a voice murmured to him just like it had so many times before and for a moment, tempted by the grief heavy on his heart once again, he almost believed it.

But no, he would be dead then and while he would have liked to imagine that this would mean he could be with his loved ones again, it was not exactly what either of the tribes he had lived with believed.

Vaguely he remembered his father working for hours, digging a grave at what used to be Wellwick Wood. An elderly woman too exhausted by their long journey, his grandmother if he remembered correctly, had died shortly after they had arrived there. With a sad smile on his face his father had explained to his children, who had stared down into the hole in the ground with confusion in their eyes, how by returning her body to the earth there could still grow new life from this death.

Or the drake tribe of the Sagolii Desert, who always burned their dead and left the ashes to be carried away by the desert wind, believing that it would make it easier for the deceased‘s aether to return to the Aetheric Sea and create something new elsewhere.

With a sudden sharp pain in his heart A’viloh realised that neither of the people he loved had gotten the burial they would have wanted for themselves. And neither had A‘viloh himself wanted to die in the coldness of Coerthas and be forever forgotten under a thick layer of snow and ice. He had thought about dying before but never had he been this close to it. For a second he wondered if this was something worth speaking to Rael about, but he wasn’t sure they wouldn’t misunderstand and get mad at him again.

“Why do you make such a sad face now?”, Haurchefant asked having noticed the smile slip from the Miqo’te’s face. But A’viloh just vehemently shook his head and focused on the geese again.

“They must be horribly cold.”, he wondered in a voice that suggested he already planned to take all of them to the safety of his comfortably warm room.

Haurchefant chuckled. “Don’t worry, they survived the storm out here after all. They keep each other warm, that’s why you‘ll rarely see one of them alone. A bit like you and your friends.”

“Maybe…”, A’viloh answered thinking about this comparison for a moment. “I just wish it wouldn’t always be me who needs to be taken care of. But as proven in Ul’dah and now once again I am simply too weak and useless to keep myself alive, not to mention anyone else.”

The Elezen’s face got a little stern as he folded his arms in front of his chest. “Don’t say that, I am sure it’s not true! This was just bad luck! You are neither weak nor useless!”

A’viloh shrugged. “But that’s how I feel right now...”

Slowly Haurchefant nodded before speaking again with a silent but determined voice. “Listen. I‘ll never forget how bravely you fought for Francel although you barely knew him. You could have gotten yourself in trouble with that and you helped him anyway.”

“It’s not like I did that on my own -”, A’viloh tried to protest but was immediately interrupted. “But you still helped! And I’m sure even without Rael you would have done so!”

Another shrug was all Haurchefant got in response, so the Elezen thought for a second before making an offer. “You want to make yourself useful, right? Get stronger? I could teach you how to fight like a real ishgardian knight, with sword and shield. Or we have some dragoons at Camp Dragonhead too! I’m sure there’s a lot you could learn from them.”

A‘viloh‘s face turned to disbelief. “I really don’t think I could fight with armor and weapons this heavy…”

“You can’t say so if you don’t try! And I have you know that dragoon armors are surprisingly light. How do you think they could still be this agile otherwise? Promise me to at least try training with them a little!”

He didn’t really want to agree to that. He knew he would make a fool of himself. But how could he say no with Haurchefant trying everything in his power to cheer him up. Weakly he shook his head and muttered: “Fine…”

“Perfect!”, Haurchefant exclaimed with a bright smile on his face. “I think an early reward for your efforts is appropriate then!”

Confused A’viloh watched him take a small bag off of his shoulders, which he hadn’t even noticed until now. For a moment the Elezen was busy undoing a knot before he opened the bag and presented to A‘viloh a set of two weirdly shaped blades attached to pieces of wood with leather straps. He had no idea what these constructs were meant to do and that was plainly visible on his face. “What’s that?”

“Ice skates of course!”, Haurchefant said as if that would explain it all but the Miqo’te‘s face remained clueless, so Haurchefant gestured to the lake behind them. “You attach them to your boots so you can walk on the ice like this!”

“Oh!”, A’viloh exclaimed as he understood what Haurchefant was planning. “I don’t think-… I mean I‘ve never-… You don’t really want me to step on that lake do you?” The idea somehow scared him.

“Why not?”, Haurchefant asked for the second time today with this smile that made the question sound like a challenge.

“It’s just a bit of ice!”, A‘vi objected. “What if it breaks?”

The Elezen shook his head and proceeded to fasten the metal blades beneath his boots. “Ah, don’t worry. The ice is thick enough, it will take at least a few more days to melt.”

“I don’t know…”, was all A’viloh replied as Haurchefant pressed another pair of skates into his hands. But the Elezen remained determined and took a few wobbly steps through the snow and onto the ice. “See! I can stand on it and it doesn’t break! You are a lot lighter than me, so why wouldn’t you be able to?”

Oh, you don’t know my bad luck!, A‘viloh thought but Haurchefant didn’t look like he would take that for an excuse. Instead he stretched out a hand towards the Miqo’te. “Come one! Believe me, this is going to be funny!”

For a second A‘viloh pondered his options. The idea of nothing but a little bit of ice between him and the water still terrified him but Haurchefant seemed so excited about this and the other people actually seemed to have fun too. Maybe he should at least pretend to try... Reluctantly he sat down on a rock and tried to put on the skates just like Haurchefant had done a moment ago.

“The clasp on the back too. Make sure none of them are loose… Yes, that looks fine!”, Haurchefant helpfully explained. As A’viloh got up, he almost flopped right back down into the snow. It was a weird feeling to balance his whole weight on only two thin pieces of metal. As he carefully took the first few steps towards the lake Haurchefant reached out for him once more. “Here! Take my hand! I don’t want you to fall…”

Hesitantly A‘vi stepped onto the ice and immediately felt like the ground was being pulled away beneath his feet. He struggled for balance, feeling himself falling backwards, so Haurchefants arm was a very welcome thing to hold on to.

With a chuckle the Elezen tried to loosen A‘vi‘s desperate grip on his arm and instead took each of his hand in one of his own before carefully making slow steps backwards pulling A‘viloh over the ice, which A’vi could swear was making suspicious crackling sounds below them. There was no way to tell the blades beneath his feet not to move, so all A’viloh could do was try not to fall and plead to Haurchefant with ears flat on his head and panic in his eyes, as he slowly was pulled further onto the lake. “No, no, no. Take me back, that’s a horrible idea!”

“Calm down. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I promise.”, Haurchefant said soothingly and continued to explain to him how to move on the ice skates. And in fact the Elezen’s calm voice slowly made A’viloh feel less anxious. His hands, frantically clasping at Haurchefant’s, relaxed along with his legs. It was still a weird feeling to be standing on the ice but now it felt a lot easier to remain balanced. He glanced at the people around them while remaining as still as possible, studied their movements for a moment and then tentatively tried to mimic the way they slowly pushed their feet above the slippery surface. To his surprise he really moved forward without much effort and also without feeling the sensation of falling again, closer to Haurchefant who had steadied him with his outstretched arms so far.

“See! It’s not that difficult.”, he said while making another step backwards so A’viloh had to follow with another step forward. The Miqo’te, strangely excited about the fact that he was actually moving on these weird ice-blades, laughed happily. “You are even going backwards!”

Haurchefants laughed. “One step after the other. Let’s teach you how to go forward first, hm? I‘ll let go off one of your hands but don’t worry, I still got you. One feet after the other just like you did before…”

In fact it almost felt easier now that he could use one of his arms to balance himself. Very slowly at first they floated above the icy surface of the lake but soon A‘viloh got braver. Once he almost lost his balance but for a comparably tall and strong person like Haurchefant it seemed like a very easy task to keep a small Miqo’te on his feet. Almost falling had felt like a shock for a second but only moments later they were laughing about it and in the end A’viloh was surprised and also a little proud how quickly he had learned and how much fun this was.

He wasn’t sure how much time they spent there on the frozen lake but at some point a bell sounded from the nearby Camp. Startled A’viloh looked up (and almost lost his balance again). “How late is it? I’m sure you have more important things to do than this! I’m sorry if I’m keeping you from doing your work.”

But Haurchefant just laughed and teased, “What could be more important than prove to you that not all of Coerthas is a deadly wasteland trying to kill you? But I think we really should return soon. I don’t want you to get cold again and after all we also don’t want Rael to find out about this little excursion, do we?”

For a second A’viloh wished the viera could see him now and wondered what their reaction would be like. The thought made him chuckle.

And as they floated, one last circle around the lake, A’viloh couldn’t help but wonder that maybe it was happy moments like this. The reason he was still here. Moments that made his life worth living.

---

inspired by the poem The Reversal by Leila Chatti

[raiiny-bay]

the degenerates: out of context

[dandylion240]

Colton: what are you doing here?

Ryan: I was worried about you.

Colton: I'm fine.

Ryan: Alone on Christmas? Why don't you come home with me?

Colton: I said I'm fine.

Ryan: You shouldn't be cooped up in here by yourself on Christmas. You haven't even decorated.

Colton: I worked all weekend (shrugs) I didn't see the point of decorating.

Ryan: well you're in luck. I have everything we need to get you in the holiday spirit.

Colton: why do I have the feeling I dont' have a choice?

Colton: where did you get all these decorations?

Ryan: we have lots of decorations at home.

Colton: won't your dad's miss them?

Ryan: naw we have plenty.

Colton: in other words they let you have them.

Ryan: I asked and they helped me box everything up.

Colton: tell them thank you for me.

Ryan: you could tell them yourself if you come over for dinner.

Colton: is that an invitation?

Ryan: it is.

Colton: you're cute when you're nervous.

Ryan: who says I'm nervous.

Colton: you squeaked

Ryan: did not.

@izayoichan

[mimi-cee-genshin]

I think I finally have Chapter 7 of my Wanderer fic done. Literally months later 😭.

[arolesbianism]

So I may or may not have spent a good chunk of my day trying to learn how to look into onis code and while I may not have yet succeeded I will likely keep fucking around with shit tomorrow and if I manage to succeed it'll spell great doom for my sanity as oni becomes the interest I've officially poured the most effort into analyzing

[yukinyaminyato]

i've yet again been proven right that i rlly have to put at least a minimal amount of effort to my appearance when i go anywhere outside bc apparently there's a high chance to run into someone u know everywhere

[chemicalarospec]

My experience with Hannibal so far:

Jeff the killer: kills people. Mutilates and eats them too.

Me: Yeah that's alright with me (skipping the eye gore tho)

Jeff the evil liar: evilly lies to someone about the cause of their psychosis

Me: I Am Not Okay With This

[allisonreader]

In writing that last post and all of my tags, now I want to continue to expand upon some of those thoughts and it might get into rambling on, but we'll see.

I definitely feel desperate for validation about my writing. But while saying that, I also don't want it to be all rainbows and butterflies "oh this is wonderful" it needs to have a little more substance than that. I want to hear what works and doesn't work, while not going into something overly negatively critical. A fine line to balance for sure.

I know personally that I'm more of a cheerleader type reader/hyper. Analysis of writing is not my thing. I will enjoy whatever it is for what it is unless something really takes me out of it. (Like reading a Titanic fic that supposedly takes place either still in the 1910's or 20's and Rose wearing a dress with a zipper before they were in common use. Or someone who clearly has no historical knowledge and thinking that they can use the term supermarket and iPod in the 30's and not realize that most people would have had ice boxes more than refrigerators at that point. I mean I know it's fic, but I personally couldn't finish either of those two stories.)

Anyways I lost the point I was making there.

Back to more my writing/comments. The thing is, I'm typically pretty lazy about commenting on stories myself. Most of the time when I'm reading I just want to read, unless something grabs me enough that I have to shout about it into the void or author. So I fully understand why people don't comment. Sometimes it just doesn't grab you enough to say anything about it. (Which is where I feel like most of my writing fits.) Or there's simply no energy to say anything about it and then even if you intend to say something later, you might forget about such. Sometimes it's just not to your taste so you feel like it's better to say nothing at all. (Which is still definitely better that telling someone that you should entirely rewrite what you have wrote because "it doesn't fit into canon and it should fit with canon", even when that wasn't your goal in the first place. {Clearly this still gets my goat, being told to rewrite my own story that I wasn't using outside influences to write from. Aka a book in relation to a movie that I've never read and will probably never read. And basing what I wrote just off of what is know from the movie for a speculative piece.} Still bothers me clearly. Don't tell people how to write their own stories when your ideas are not what the author intended. You didn't have to read if it wasn't meeting your expectations.)

But even with things like that, there's that desire to be told that you might be onto something. Especially when it is something that you put so much effort into. I do find it a bit easier to comment on something when I've built up a bit of a connection with someone. (So if you don't I suck at leaving comments on your writing, that just might be why. It just might be that I feel like we've conversed enough that I'm more comfortable about doing so.)

Well I had been thinking that I was jumping from one thought to the next without logic, but as I read through what I had written again, I realized that it is a little more on track than I had been thinking it had been while in the process of writing it. I do still feel like I have more to say, but I don't know if it will be any more concise than I have been above. Around and round in circles I go to try and ferret out what I actually mean or even want sometimes.

From that I will go into how as much as I deeply desire some sort of discussion about my writing, I feel weird/wrong to actively push for someone; anyone to give any sort of reaction to my writing. I mean I don't particularly care for how some people ask for reviews and comments on their fics. Those ones that sound kind of demanding or even desperately pleading make me personally less likely to write any sort of response. Even though I know why and where the sentiment is coming from. I've also had people try to barter with me, that for every comment I leave on their writing, they'd trade one on my own writing. I noped right out of that. I'd much rather someone leave a comment because they genuinely wanted to, than because they're bartering for their own stories to be commented on. So again I have a very complicated relationship with wanting comments on my own writing because of this.

It's different again if someone is looking to be a willing participant in giving a commentary and thoughts on writing too, but I definitely don't have as much experience with that. Though eventually one day I will look for people who are invested in doing a deeper dive into my writing, but I don't think I'm there yet.