#shirou is WRONG and INCORRECT and archer wants to BASH HIS STUPID FUCKING SKULL IN.
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As I don't want to leave negativity on someone else's post, but saw something WILDLY out-of-character, when an actual in-character relationship is RIGHT FUCKING THERE.
Sakura and Shirou's kitchen-relationship:
Shirou: "I need to get there first and start breakfast, or-"
Sakura: *innocently smug* "Hello senpai, I got started without you"
Shirou internally: "Noooo, my kitchen-time is being stolen"
Shirou externally: "Ah. Well, if you've already started, how can I help?"
Sakura internally: "Yay! I won first-place, and I get to make senpai happy with my cooking now!"
Rin and Archer's kitchen-relationship:
Rin: "How dare you-!"
Archer: *smirking like a bastard* "Oh? Have I touched a nerve, Rin? Were you under the mistaken impression that your chocolate-chip cookies are in any way adequate beyond the bargain-bin at a kindergarten bake-sale?"
Rin: "... I will fucking END YOU"
Archer: *scoffs* "I should be so lucky"
#like. sakura-shirou's kitchen-rivalry? it's basically fluffy puppy-love. it's the one area in their lives that ISN'T traumatic.#rin-archer's kitchen-rivalry? archer loves to piss people off and rin is EXTREMELY competitive. even about cooking.#basically? archer would LOVE to one-up rin with his many years of experience. and she'd gnash her teeth and swear bloody vengeance.#though to be entirely fair. they could probably do this about ANYTHING. provided that archer is given the opportunity to be a troll.#also. for the sake of completion ->#rin-sakura post-HF is a version of sakura-shirou bcs it's about them reconnecting more than anything else#rin-sakura outside of that is mostly walking on egg-shells and pretending as if they're not. the resulting food is mediocre#bcs neither side is really willing to put their foot down and say ''we should do it like this'' so they're averaging-out to meh.#-> rin-shirou is them kind of just... hip-checking each other out of the way so that they can cook their own thing#they're a bit competitive. but neither side is really going to instigate things beyond ''they did X well so now i have to do Y really well'#-> archer-shirou is similar to rin-archer but with actual hate as the undertone instead of pride. archer isn't even having fun#shirou is WRONG and INCORRECT and archer wants to BASH HIS STUPID FUCKING SKULL IN.#and shirou is very much looking at the kitchen knife and THINKING ABOUT IT. but he won't do that. bcs the kitchen is SACRED#and archer WOULD KNOW THAT if he wasn't such an ABSOLUTE ASSHOLE.#stories#relationships#laughing#fate stay night#my writing
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