#probably goes without saying this is a very dumb joke

[gothicprep]

reasons why america is bad: too many to list

reasons why america is good: you can get really good indo-chinese food even if you don’t live in a major city.

what’s the verdict? impossible to tell :/

[voxslays]

in desperate need of some NSFW dae ho head cannons?? 👀👀

DAE HO — NSFW ALPHABET

A/N: M and X are skipped. Warnings: Smut, P in V, oral, soft!Dae-ho, maybe a little OOC.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

✮ Very doting. Always wants to make sure you are okay. Will wipe you off with a towel and have water on both sides of the bed (he knows how exhausted you are) or will just take a nice long, hot bath with his darling.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners)

✮ He doesn’t really have a favorite part about you, he just loves you the way you are…BUT…he does like being able to hold and compare your small hands to his large calloused ones.

✮ For him, it’s probably his semi-muscular arms. He loves the way they engulf you as he wraps you in his warm embrace. Truly such a wholesome guy. <3

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

✮ Dae-ho cums a lot. Whether he pulls out or not, it’s everywhere. On the sheets, on you, on him. Even when he releases inside of you, he will watch in awe as it trickles out of your pretty hole.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

✮ He kind of has a breeding kink. He desperately wants to get you knocked up so he can experience having a big family again (like how he grew up with so many older sisters). That and he thinks you would look so pretty pregnant.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

✮ Doesn’t have a lot of experience, but he knows what he’s doing and how to make you feel good. Has had one or two partners before you at max.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

✮ Definitely missionary. What can he say? He’s very Vannilla coded. He loves looking down at your beautiful face as he slowly lumos himself in and out of your hole—Holding your hands as he makes love to you and fucks you silly.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

✮ I can see Dae-ho being a very lighthearted individual during steamy time, making maybe one or two jokes as he fucks you dumb.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they?)

✮ Well groomed, not a lot of hair, but it’s definitely managed well.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

✮ So so so romantic! Will constantly be telling you how beautiful you are as he listens to your wanton moans and suckles on your nipples.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

✮ I honestly don’t see him doing this. Why jerk off when he can just go to you? If you aren’t in the mood though, he will probably just want you close as he does his thing.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

✮ Definitely breeding kink, as mentioned earlier. Dae-ho just wants a big family.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

✮ The bedroom (bed) or the shower.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

✮ Anything that makes you uncomfortable. Dae-ho would be a true gentlemen and is the king of consent. He definitely puts your pleasure above his own.

✮ As for him, Dae-ho doesn’t care for roleplay (why would you want him to be anyone but himself? It will hurt his feelings!) or BDSM. Why would he want to purposefully hurt his partner?

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

✮ Prefers to give. He loves tasting your sweet sweet juices.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

✮ Very slow and sensual. You and Dae-ho don’t fuck. You make love.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

✮ Heavily dislikes them. If you’re going to do it, why not do the full thing?

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

✮ Is willing to do (almost) anything to make you happy.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

✮ 3-4 rounds. This guy was in the marines, of course he has stamina. Although, he will stop if you pass out before he’s done.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

✮ Prefers not to use them on you or himself.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

✮ Will tease you with his fingers and tongue only a little bit. Doesn’t want you to suffer too much while waiting for his cock.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

✮ Can get a little loud. Dae-ho will make little grunts, but every once in a while will let out a wanton moan.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

✮ Would put your pleasure and well-being over his any day.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

✮ Like once every two weeks. He doesn’t want to push you to hard or make you uncomfortable, but does love showing how much he loves you through these ‘activities’.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

✮ Always waits until you are asleep, but after that, he is pretty quick to pass out.

[meanbossart]

Why does the drow want kids?

Do you think he'd be a good father? (in the magical event that he and Astarion invent fantasy mpreg lol)

How do you think they handle coparenting together?

Sorry for so many questions lol, was just thinking about your little guy and was curious (hope these haven't been asked before!)

Well, to start off you could technically say that he doesn't want them. Not in his canonical/redemptive timeline, anyway.

If he were partnered with someone who's capable of conceiving and it happened on accident, he would be happy about it at first, and it's definitely an idea that he thinks of fondly - but DU drow realizes that not only is his current life-style not fitting to raise a child, but there's also the whole... Bhaalspawn thing. As funny as it was to loom the threat of offspring over Jaheira's head, he wouldn't want to put a child in the world only for it to land in the clutches of Bhaal as he once was.

Jokes about his breeding kink aside, his remaining urge to reproduce will at times be as much of a punishment as his bloodthirst was. Forget about the morning-wood and the abstract obsession with sex - remaining empty-nested will, at some point, pull him into a hopeless sadness that will probably be difficult to crawl out of, and it won't be sated by getting a couple of cats or adopting an urchin.

That said, I don't think it's out of the question that they could come to foster or fully adopt a child, one day! Assuming they stay alive long enough. It's a cute idea that I have filed away for when the inspiration eventually strikes me.

...And Astarion and DU drow would definitely make for peculiar parents, lol, but not totally hopeless ones. They're incredibly capable people in their own rights, with a lot of potential to yet mature and grow assuming nothing goes horrifically wrong. I could see them striving to raise a very self-sufficient and practical child - teach it how to hunt! How to steal! How to butcher! When it's old enough to even understand such conversations, teach it how to murder and benefit from others. Teach it that the world is a weird, scary place, but you can take it by the horns and we will show you how to.

DU drow would be the type of father who more openly expresses affection and wants to spend every minute with the child - yet far more open to letting them make their own mistakes. Take risks. Get hurt. Then simply tell them to dust themselves off and move on.

Astarion on the other hand would probably make for a slightly more withdrawn dad (this isn't the type of love he's used to - not only from his years as a spawn, but far before), a funny one, but not particularly touchy or explicitly loving. On the flip-side I think he would have a much harder time letting them go off and do dumb shit, or at least he would try and pull strings so that things do go their way. He's the dad that reprehends you for getting caught stealing and getting beat up, but then goes off and kills the store-keeper without you ever hearing a word about it.

[kisakis-boyfriend]

Can I please get Chongyun with the whole alphabet? (I’m on my hands and knees)

Author's Note: Rise up, soldier, I deliver Chongyun smut upon thee 🫴❄️ — (I sort of broke Chongyun in two halves for some of the sections; his normal self and his hyper, pure Yang self.) (Chongyun is 20+ here also)

For our 3000 follower celebration! (CLOSED NOW)

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Tuckered out and ready for some cuddles. You'll usually need to cool Chongyun down too, even if that means holding an ice pack against his body to bring down his temperature 😅

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

I don't think Chongyun would really pay enough attention to have a favorite body part. Not of his own, at least. Of yours, he would probably say that every part of you is his favorite fhalfjdnfls

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)

His cum is thick, and it tends to come out in globs that drip down his shaft. It's not translucent at all, really. It almost looks like whipped cream with how white and opaque it is. Due to his cryo vision, I think his cum would be a tad bit cold too?

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He actually really, really likes the taste of your cock. And the feeling of it in his mouth.

Having that heavy length resting on his tongue, tears pricking the corners of his blue eyes while he fidgets with anything to help him remain still, moaning around your cock involuntarily because your precum is the only thing he can taste anymore?? That's enough to turn Chongyun's brain off for a while 🥴

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Net zero experience. A total virgin. Chongyun knows basically nothing about sex, seeing as he had no interest in it throughout his teens and early adulthood. You have to guide this innocent angel through everything.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. May include a visual)

Chongyun enjoys it when you wrap your arms around him, and his back is pressed snuggly against your chest. Doesn't matter if you're standing, sitting, or laying down, that position is the best.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Normal Chongyun: Serious, maybe a little too much, even. He takes everything literally, and freaks out when you joke about fucking him dumb or something along those lines. If you tease about getting him pregnant, he will believe you at face value. 0_0

Hyper Chongyun: A complete goofball, very giggly. He still takes your statements literally, but he's enthusiastic about the prospect of being fucked stupid or getting knocked up.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

I believe in Chongyun's ice blue pubes–

He wasn't even aware that people shaved/trimmed down there, so when you first see him, he's unkempt and bushy. Maybe after you explain shaving down there he might start to trim it a little.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect)

Extremely so. Chongyun values intimacy so much, he'll be quite sad if you don't provide the level of intimacy that he thinks is necessary for sex. :(

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Normal Chongyun: Doesn't really bother with it. He finds it embarrassing, even, and would rather have you take care of him.

Hyper Chongyun: Will happily touch himself if you ask him to. If you're already fucking him and you tell him to jack himself off, Chongyun will do so with zero chill (pun intended). He's jerking it so fast, you're afraid he's going to hurt himself.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Temperature play (of course), praise kink, and chastity. If you bring out his pure Yang spirit, you can probably get him addicted to fisting or large insertion as well~

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

The bedroom — very adventurous, I know 😱

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Really any sort of teasing will do the trick. Invading your sweetheart's personal space and backing him against a wall is guaranteed to lead to sex.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Most kinks, to be honest. Knifeplay, weapons in general, blood play, choking, honestly anything that could be dangerous. Public sex is also a no-go for him. Degradation is not usually something he'd want to include in your sexy times either. Usually…

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Highly prefers giving. Again, your cock is his biggest vice, especially when it's in his mouth.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Normally, Chongyun prefers it slow and steady. He's afraid that if you go too fast it will bring out his pure Yang spirit…

And when that does happen, he won't stop begging for you to go “Faster, faster, faster!!” or “Harder, harder, harder!!!”

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He's not the biggest fan. Quickies are usually too fast, not intimate enough for his liking, and leave him feeling unsatisfied.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Not really. Chongyun knows what he does and doesn't like, and he's not super interested in experimenting.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

As previously mentioned, Chongyun prefers a slower pace, and he can usually last for a long time. If you want to go for 3 rounds — 3 slow rounds — he can hold out. He may not be able to talk like a human when you're done, but that's totally fine!

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

None of his own, no. Though, if you buy some and want to use them to enhance your sexy times, I don't think Chongyun would be against it.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

I can't picture him teasing you at all. Maybe a few playful quips here and there, but definitely not teasing or goading you into being harsher with him.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Bro is a whimperer for sure! He whimpers and whines like crazy. He's noisy, but not necessarily super loud otherwise. He can whimper quietly, basically.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Bear with me here as I try to describe this… I think Chongyun would lose his mind if you offered to help him cool off by fucking his mouth with a popsicle. There's a specific hentai gif that I have in mind; this girl is on her knees and some dude is shoving a popsicle in her mouth and training her to give a blowjob, I guess? I don't have context for the scene but it's messy and fits Chongyun perfectly 🩵

(I'll try to find the gif and I'll attach it to a reblog if I can. Hopefully it doesn't get my blog flagged 💀)

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

His dick is a little guy, measuring exactly 3 inches. I want to believe that he's uncut…I'm not sure why, I just want him to be 😌

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Not super high, I don't think Chongyun would seek out sex more than once a week. He wouldn't say no if you initiated things more often, but he probably wouldn't initiate it himself unless he's really in the mood.

Z = ZZZ (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He can fall asleep pretty quickly, though it doesn't happen every single time you have sex. He's usually just sleepy and cuddly, but he does try to stay awake to talk with you.

[schlattslambo]

a little old fashioned | schlatt

part two

warnings: unprotected hand holding, drunk kissing, sitting in schlatt's lap and feeling him get hard, intentionally lowercase

note: wow, hi, im back. this took foreverrrr to write. please enjoy!

the music in the bar slowly fades, signaling the fact that it will be closing soon. you’re sitting with jay, laughing with him as the alcohol buzzes in your system. he says a dumb joke that has you throwing your head back in laughter. he takes the time to look at you, taking in all of your features. your nose, your smile, the way your eyes sparkle, and those lips. those soft, pillowy lips that jay finds himself staring at, wondering what they would feel like on his. 

when you look back at jay, you do a bit of the same. you notice the freckles that scatter along his face, dotting along his nose and into his facial hair. the flush on his cheeks is still there, somewhat extending to the tips of his ears. his eyes are half lidded due to the alcohol, and he’s got an adorable crooked smile on his face. he’s staring at you somewhat, making you grin. 

“what?” you ask, feeling warmth on your cheeks. 

“just lookin’ at ya,” jay smiles. “you’re very cute, you know that?” 

you smile, moving your attention down to your drink before looking back at jay. “yeah?” you ask. “you’re not just saying that?”

jay chuckles softly, placing his hand onto yours. you look at where his thumb gently grazes over your knuckles. his touch is soft, despite his large form. his knuckles are bruised slightly, reminding you that he literally punched your ex a few hours prior. the thought makes butterflies flutter to life in your stomach.

"you knuckles are bruised," you say softly, taking hold of jay's hand and looking at the bruises. "did you hit him that hard?"

"i hit him as hard as i needed to," jay replies. "he needed to learn that he can't treat people like that without repercussions. and that repercussion was a fucked up jaw."

"do they hurt?" you ask, seemingly glossing over the fact that your ex is probably missing a few teeth.

jay smiles, shaking his head. "nah, it's nothing i can't handle."

"are you sure?" you whisper. jay nods.

"i'm positive, babe."

the two of you fall into a silence again. but instead of it being awkward, you two enjoy being in each other's company. jay opens his mouth to continue complimenting you, but your friend stumbles up with jay's friend ted, her drunken grin making you smile.

the lights go on, making the group of you squint at the brightness. you hear a bartender announce that nobody has to go home, but you all can't stay there. your friend pulls her phone out.

"there's a bar down the road if you guys wanna keep hanging out," she offers, smiling at both jay and his friend.

"sounds good to me," jay shrugs, smiling at you.

so the group of you gather your things and make your way to the bar down the road. you walk next to jay and your friend walks next to ted. as you walk, jay's pinky finger extends towards you, linking with yours. you see him eyeing you out of the corner of your eye, clearly nervous. you grin, eyes on the ground as you hold onto jay's hand, fingers intertwining with his.

inside the bar, music is playing loudly and the lights are dimmed. you've never been to this place before. it's a two story bar with a club downstairs and an outdoor patio. your friend goes downstairs to the club with ted, where the music is louder, and you stay upstairs with jay.

"do you want another drink, toots?" jay asks. you nod.

"yes please," you reply. "just a hard cider."

jay nods and the two of you walk to the bar. as jay orders your drinks, you look around. there's neon signs on the walls inside and string lights outside. all in all, it's a cute bar. most people are downstairs, so the patio is empty. jay hands you your drink with a grin.

"can we sit outside?" you ask.

"of course!"

the two of you walk to the patio and you find a comfortable couch, sitting down and smiling at jay. the alcohol in your system is now hitting you, and the cider in your hand is just going to make it worse. but when you think about it, you don't really care. you enjoy jay’s company and like talking to him.

you sip your cider as jay sips a beer. you eye it a bit, having not seen the brand before. jay notices this, smiling at you.

“want a sip?” he asks. you nod, taking the bottle from his hands, tipping it to your mouth.

your lips curl up in disgust as you swallow the sip that you took. despite having an apple on the label, the beer tastes nothing like it. you sputter, coughing a bit as a full body shiver works through you.

“that’s awful!” you reply, shaking your head as you hand the bottle back.

“oh come on!” jay replies. “it isn’t that bad!”

“it absolutely is!” you counter. “how do you drink that? it’s like piss water!”

jay laughs, head thrown back. you look at his neck, which is suddenly barren of marks you want to give him. the thought is in the front of your mind, and it’s all you can think about. you take a long sip of your drink, finishing it off. if your mind is going to be like this, you need more alcohol.

jay notices that your drink is empty, smiling at you.

“you want another drink?”

you nod, smiling as he extends his hand. your fingers interlock with jay’s, his touch sparking electricity under your skin. you sink your teeth into your bottom lip to stop yourself from outwardly smiling like an idiot.

he walks to the bar and allows you to order your own drink. you settle for a cocktail, seeing as you’re probably gonna need liquid encouragement to flirt with the handsome man holding your hand.

as jay taps his card against the machine to pay, you look up at him.

“you didn’t even read the price,” you comment. jay shrugs a shoulder, handing your drink to you.

“don’t need to,” he says simply. “besides, i wanna buy drinks for a cute girl, prices don’t matter.”

your cheeks flush as you walk back to the patio with jay. the music from the bar fades as the door closes behind you, leaving the two of you in the early summer night. you bring up the fact that jay’s still wearing his cowboy hat despite leaving the other bar, making him laugh.

“if you wanted to wear it, you just had to say that!” jay teases, removing the hat from his head and placing it onto yours.

you giggle, adjusting it on your head. jay looks at you, his eyes darting from your own down to your lips and back up again. he swipes his tongue on his bottom lip, wetting it. the action makes you look at his lips.

“you look really good in that hat, toots,” jay breathes. “like, wow.”

you down the rest of your drink, the alcohol fully buzzing away in your system. your body moves before you can even register anything, and soon you’re in jay’s lap. his eyes widen and you grin, biting your lip. his hands immediately go to your hips, holding you in place.

“you’re really handsome, you know that?” you ask, placing your hands on jay’s shoulders.

jay’s cheeks are flushed from the mix of alcohol and him being completely flustered by the girl in his lap.

you rub your nose on his cheek gently, feeling the heat of his skin. under you, his cock hardens. jay’s eyes widen as you giggle, purposefully wiggling your hips just a bit. jay bites back a groan as his grip tightens on your waist.

“behave,” he growls softly.

“or what?” you ask, pressing your center on his hard cock. jay hisses.

one of his hands trails up your back before yanking your hair back. you arch into his chest, a moan caught in your throat. jay nips at the skin, making the caught moan break free.

“or you won’t like what happens next, dollface,” jay whispers. “and you’ll see what happens to bad girls.”

you grip the sides of jay’s face, pulling him in for a kiss. your teeth sinking into jay’s bottom lip. he groans and digs his nails into your hips. you pull back, smirking at jay.

“bring it on, big guy,” you giggle.

[cadeloverforever]

Hi, could you make more Bi-han MK1 Headcanons please😘.

Hi, yes xD, I have nothing to do so here you go, sorry if it's short! I haven't written anything about him so if something is wrong I'm sorry

╭═══════════ .❥. ═════════════╮

BI-HAN (SUB-ZERO) HEADCANON!!!

❆ I feel I am 100% sure that when you tell him something that happened to you, if it is sad, he would tell you something like "don't exaggerate." And he goes off to do something else but then he goes with you to talk more about what happened to you.

❆ I feel like he's less cold (dumb joke xD) at night, I imagine something like, in public the most you'll get from him is him being by your side, sometimes keeping you company but at night he would put his head on your shoulder without saying anything or hug you, that kind of thing.

❆If you insist on training with him, he would be a little less rough in the blows he gives you, although he will probably never mention it, he wants to remain serious and mysterious 🥷🥷

❆ He can sense when you are sad or in a bad mood, maybe it is because he knows you very well or maybe it is because you do not hide how well you feel, whatever it is, he has already prepared a hug for the night while you continue sleeping.

❆Don't tell his brother that you once saw him slip on the ice he created himself, he doesn't know how to keep secrets! You learned that the hard way.

❆He once made you an ice popsicle, of course it was flavorless but it was cute, he made it out of nothing, he just gave it to you and left

╰════════════ .❥. ════════════╯

[drowning-moonlight]

fans can believe what they want about who is really responsible for Ace's death but it just really rubs me the wrong way when some fans are so victim blamy and say that Ace got himself killed. okay yes he did put himself in harms way by giving in to Akainu's taunting of Whitebeard and had to save Luffy but I think the narrative makes it clear that he was doomed to death no matter what.

I just think it's very clear that the main reason the navy wanted to put Ace to death was first and foremost because he was Roger's son, not because of his own crimes of piracy. sure the Marines made a public show of it because they wanted to start a war with Whitebeard and executing his second division commander would provoke Whitebeard into waging that war. however, I think the navy would have had a public execution for any of the WB pirates that they could've gotten their hands on, it just happened to be Ace because of Blackbeard capturing him. remember, Blackbeard was originally planning on turning in Luffy to the Marines. him getting Ace instead is what instigated the Marines declaring war on Whitebeard.

the thing is, they would have executed Ace no matter what though, regardless of him being a Whitebeard pirate and regardless of him being a pirate at all. nothing would change the fact that Ace was the biological son of the Pirate King. the navy had been trying to kill Ace since before he was born. he was doomed from the start. the fact that they would have killed him as an infant should be enough to show that the Marines would have targeted Ace no matter what, so Akainu (or any Marine) killing him was basically inevitable. that doesn't say to me that Ace caused his own death.

there is nothing that Ace could or should have done - or shouldn't have done - that could have saved him. that's why I don't like when some fans say he died because of a "yo daddy joke." I just don't see it that way at all.

Ace's life was in danger the moment he was conceived just because of who had fathered him. he understandably resented that as it caused him a great deal of pain. he eventually found his true father in Whitebeard, who he loved and respected unconditionally and probably felt that love and respect back. however misguided, it's no wonder that he stopped and faced off against Akainu for insulting Whitebeard.

Ace famously never ran away from a fight, not just because he thought it was cowardly, but because he was worried he would leave something (someone) behind. then Akainu goes on to taunt Ace about WB retreating, essentially running away, and Ace might be projecting and think that Akainu is saying that Whitebeard is leaving him (Ace) behind. Ace can't retreat because that would be putting his loved ones in danger, so Whitebeard also can't retreat for the same reason in Ace's mind. and Akainu implying that WB would turn his back on his loved ones is what makes Ace stop and challenge him. at least that's how I interpret that interaction.

he died protecting Luffy and standing up for Whitebeard. he died protecting his brother and chosen father. protecting their life and reputation respectively. I think that's so tragic and beautiful and I think something is lost when it's joked about and sneered at as Ace just being a pig-headed idiot who couldn't take some taunting about his captain.

yes, in hindsight it was a dumb decision to stop and argue with Akainu on the battlefield as they were making their escape. I'm not saying he didn't make a fatal mistake. I just think too many fans take it at face value and see nothing more than Ace falling for a stupid taunt without unpacking why Ace did that. he's a flawed character and his flaws had consequences and repercussions but more importantly, when looking at it narratively, that flaw makes sense.

[frostyfoxx1]

twilight headcannons pt1

characters: Edward Cullen, Jacob Black, Jasper Hale, Emmett Cullen, Carlisle Cullen and Paul Lahote, Seth, Alice and Rosalie

TW: fem/gn!y/n, female private parts, gen Z words (I love how I set my chat gpt like that >:3) Carlise is referred to as dad, established relationship, pet names, physical touch, Carlise being Carlise

When fem!y/n is on her period

Edward Cullen

Bro is lowkey panicking on the inside but trying to act all composed. He can smell the blood, which makes him both worried for your well-being and a little bit... hungry (which he hates himself for).

Goes full overprotective boyfriend mode™—tucks you into bed, brings you a heating pad, reads you poetry (whether you asked or not).

“Love, are you sure you don’t want me to take you to dad? Just to be safe?”

Will NOT let you do anything. You’re now a fragile Victorian woman in his eyes.

Pros: Super attentive, will 100% rub your back and play you lullabies on the piano.

Cons: Might treat you like you’re dying when it’s just cramps.

Jacob Black

WAY more chill. He grew up around women (hello, Emily and the pack’s imprinted partners), so he’s unbothered.

“Oh, you’re on your period? Aight, want some snacks?”

Turns into a human heater, so you can just use him as a big, warm pillow.

Brings you junk food, lets you rant about literally anything, will rub your stomach with his warm hands.

Pros: Not weird about it, lets you be a gremlin in peace, smells like cedarwood and comfort.

Cons: Might eat all your snacks while comforting you.

Jasper Hale

Feels the mood swings before you even say anything.

“Darlin’, are you alright? You feel... distressed.”

Biggest sweetheart but also has to lowkey restrain himself because of the blood thing. He’s embarrassed about it, though.

Uses his empathy powers to make you feel calm and relaxed (without asking, but like… it’s kinda nice).

Pros: Will do anything to make you feel better. Master of cuddles.

Cons: Might accidentally mellow you out when you wanna stay mad.

Emmett Cullen

Zero shame, zero filter.

“Ohhh, that time of the month, huh? You want me to fight your uterus for you? I gotchu.”

Brings you the biggest stash of snacks, fuzzy blankets, and Netflix marathons.

100% the type to be like “Need me to punch Edward for annoying you? Say the word.”

Pros: Best at making you laugh, will happily binge terrible reality TV with you.

Cons: Might make period jokes that almost get him murdered.

Carlisle Cullen

Doctor mode activated.

“Do you need ibuprofen? A heating pad? Tea? What can I do to help?”

Will absolutely pamper you and check in constantly.

Pros: Super knowledgeable and comforting. Very professional. Dad energy.

Cons: Might be too clinical about it like “Would you like a full medical analysis of your cycle?”

Paul Lahote

Dramatic, but in a funny way.

“Ohhh, so this is why you yelled at me earlier! That makes sense.”

Will literally fight your uterus if you tell him to.

Warm af and loves cuddling, even when you’re grumpy.

Pros: Doesn't take your mood swings personally. Will literally do anything for you.

Cons: Loud. Might tease you just a little too much.

When gn!y/n is afraid of storms

Edward Cullen

Instantly goes into protective boyfriend mode™ even though… it’s just a storm.

“Love, you know you’re safe, right? Nothing can happen to you while I’m here.” (says this like he’s about to fight the actual weather.)

If thunder freaks you out, he’ll hold you close and whisper sweet reassurances. Probably hums your favorite lullaby to distract you.

Pros: Comforting, romantic, makes you feel safe.

Cons: Might overdo it and treat you like you’re made of glass.

Jacob Black

Totally chill about it but secretly finds it adorable.

“Babe, it’s just a little rain. Come here, I got you.”

He’s super warm, so you’ll basically have your own personal heater to snuggle up against.

If the thunder gets bad, he’ll tell dumb jokes or start play-wrestling to distract you.

Pros: Grounding, super affectionate, A+ distraction tactics.

Cons: Might try to get you to watch the storm with him because he thinks it's cool.

Jasper Hale

Feels your fear before you even say anything.

“You’re nervous… is it the storm? Don’t worry, darlin’, I’ll take care of you.”

Uses his calming powers to mellow you out before the storm even gets bad.

Will hold you against his chest and stroke your hair while murmuring sweet reassurances in that smooth Southern drawl.

Pros: Will make sure you don’t panic, very gentle, cuddles for days.

Cons: Might make you too calm without meaning to.

Emmett Cullen

Zero fear. Zero hesitation. Absolute goofball about it.

“Ohhh, you’re scared? Want me to fight the storm for you? I bet I could win.”

Will distract the hell out of you—movie marathons, stupid jokes, playful wrestling that turns into tickle fights.

If you just wanna cuddle, he’s 100% down for that too. You get to use his huge frame as a human shield against the storm.

Pros: Fun, great at making you laugh, best at keeping your mind off it.

Cons: Might accidentally make things worse if he tries to make you watch the lightning with him.

Carlisle Cullen

Soft, reassuring dad energy.

“I promise, nothing will happen to you. You’re safe with me.”

Brings you tea, sits with you somewhere cozy, probably reads to you in his calm doctor voice to soothe your nerves.

If you really need a distraction, he’ll tell you cool facts about storms to make them seem less scary.

Pros: Mature, reassuring, gives the best hugs.

Cons: Might go into “science mode” and explain too much about storms.

Paul Lahote

At first, he doesn’t get why you’re scared.

“Babe, it’s just thunder—OH, okay, okay, come here.” (realizes you’re actually upset and instantly softens.)

Acts like he’s too cool for cuddling but absolutely lets you cling to him.

Gets weirdly into “protecting” you, like “Yeah, no storm’s gonna mess with my pup.”

Pros: Super warm, lowkey protective in an adorable way.

Cons: Might tease you just a little once the storm’s over.

When their s/o wants to help them train

Edward Cullen

Immediate hesitation. Like, bro is not convinced this is a good idea.

“Love, you’re… human. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Treats you like you’re made of glass but eventually gives in. He’ll start with slow, careful movements, explaining every little thing like he’s your personal vampire sensei.

Pros: Patient, will absolutely teach you some cool defensive moves.

Cons: Will hold back way too much. Might try to talk you out of it every five minutes.

Jacob Black

SO down for this. Immediately hyped.

“Hell yeah, let’s go! You wanna learn to fight like a wolf?”

Doesn’t go easy on you, but he’s also super encouraging. Lots of hands-on guidance (aka an excuse to hold you).

Probably teaches you how to throw a proper punch first, then moves into self-defense.

Pros: Fun, makes you feel like a badass, actually lets you try.

Cons: Might laugh a little too hard if you trip or mess up.

Jasper Hale

Serious instructor mode activated.

“You sure about this, darlin’? Alright, but don’t expect me to go easy on you.”

Immediately puts you through drills like you’re a newborn vampire in training.

Will correct your form constantly—gentle, but strict.

Pros: Best teacher out of everyone. Will make sure you actually learn how to fight.

Cons: Might accidentally make training too intense.

Emmett Cullen

WAY too excited.

“YES! Finally! Let’s go, babe, I’m gonna make a warrior outta you.”

Probably overestimates your strength at first—like, he’ll playfully shove you and accidentally send you flying (cue him immediately apologizing while laughing).

Turns training into a game, but also definitely hypes you up the whole time.

Pros: Best at making training fun, best hype man.

Cons: Might get too competitive and forget you’re human.

Carlisle Cullen

Gentle, patient, and careful.

“I suppose it’s good to know how to defend yourself. Alright, let’s start slow.”

Focuses more on strategy and technique rather than brute strength.

Pros: Encouraging, won’t let you get hurt, makes sure you’re actually improving.

Cons: Might be too cautious with you.

Paul Lahote

Smug but secretly impressed.

“You wanna fight me? Alright, but don’t cry when I win.”

Definitely pushes your limits but lowkey proud when you land a solid hit.

Pros: Won’t hold back too much, makes you tougher.

Cons: Might tease you constantly about your progress.

When their s/o is a bee shifter (like a vampire but a bee) (Alice, Seth and Rosalie added)

Edward Cullen

Confused but intrigued. Like, he’s seen a lot in his long existence, but a literal bee shifter??

“So… you drink honey instead of blood? Fascinating.”

Immediately deep dives into research mode. Will 100% read every book on bees and shifters to understand you better.

Pros: Wants to understand and support you, will learn everything about honey for you.

Cons: Might get way too philosophical about the whole thing.

Jacob Black

“Wait. So you’re like a werewolf… but a bee??”

Absolutely loses it when he finds out you can shift into a giant freaking bee.

Thinks it’s hilarious but also kinda cool. Calls you his tiny warrior.

Will defend your honor if anyone dares to joke about it.

Pros: Thinks you’re the cutest badass ever, will 100% call you his queen bee.

Cons: Might tease you for buzzing when you get excited.

Jasper Hale

Respectfully intrigued.

“Darlin’, I’ve fought newborn armies, but I ain’t never fought a bee shifter before.”

Loves that your instincts are more like a hive’s mentality—loyal, protective, and deadly if needed.

Lowkey terrified when he learns you can sting enemies and make them go limp for a while.

Pros: Takes you very seriously, treats you like a warrior.

Cons: Might be a little too interested in testing your abilities.

Emmett Cullen

LIVES FOR THIS.

“BRO. THIS IS THE COOLEST THING I’VE EVER HEARD.”

Absolutely tries to get you to let him ride on your back when you shift into a giant bee.

Calls you his “Buzz Buzz” or “Honey Bear” and will never stop.

Pros: Will brag about you constantly, hypes you up, finds honey-themed snacks for you.

Cons: Might try to convince you to have a bee vs. vampire wrestling match.

Carlisle Cullen

Fascinated but professional.

“This is extraordinary. You must have an entirely different metabolic system.”

Wants to run tests, but only if you’re comfortable. Will make sure you always have fresh honey.

Pros: Very understanding, treats your abilities like a rare gift.

Cons: Might get a little too into the science of it.

Paul Lahote

Shocked, then obsessed.

“Wait… so you don’t eat meat? Just honey?? That’s kinda adorable.”

Tries to act like it’s not the cutest thing ever, but he’s so soft for you.

Would absolutely fight anyone who dares to mess with his tiny, honey-drinking menace.

Pros: Thinks your shifting is badass, calls you his sweetheart unironically.

Cons: Might playfully poke at you for being more “soft” compared to wolf shifters.

Bonus Reactions:

Alice: Immediately calls you the most aesthetic supernatural being she’s ever seen. Probably gets you a honeycomb-patterned wardrobe.

Rosalie: Lowkey jealous that you get to exist off something as elegant as honey instead of blood.

Seth: LOVES your shifting. He’s like, “CAN I HAVE A GIANT BEE BESTIE??”

Their s/o is a werecat (like a werewolf but a cat)

Edward Cullen

Visibly Confused™ but trying to act like he’s not.

“So… you’re like Jacob, but a cat?”

Lowkey intrigued because werewolves are one thing, but werecats? That’s new.

Will absolutely study your movements—not in a creepy way, but in that classic Edward overanalyzing everythingway.

When you start purring? BRO MALFUNCTIONS.

Pros: Wants to understand you, thinks your feline grace is mesmerizing.

Cons: Might compare you to Jacob one too many times.

Jacob Black

“Hold up—so you’re not a dog? You’re a cat?”

Instantly offended but also kinda impressed.

“I should hate you for this, but I kinda wanna see you fight Paul.”

Definitely tries to play-fight you one day and learns that cats are FAST AS HELL.

Lowkey jealous that you’re way more silent and way more flexible than he is.

Pros: Thinks you’re badass, respects the hustle.

Cons: Will grumble about the wolf vs. cat rivalry.

Jasper Hale

Immediately takes you seriously.

“So, you’re more of a silent hunter? That’s… impressive.”

Watches you like a predator watching another predator.

100% wants to spar with you because he knows feline instincts are dangerous.

When he sees you land perfectly from ridiculous heights? Instant respect.

Pros: Understands your instincts, sees you as an equal in combat.

Cons: Might accidentally go too intense when training with you.

Emmett Cullen

“NO WAY. YOU’RE A FREAKIN’ BIG CAT?!”

Instantly obsessed. Like, you don’t understand—this man will NEVER stop talking about how cool you are.

Wants to wrestle. He doesn’t care that you’re a giant predator—he sees it as a challenge.

Calls you “Kitty” CONSTANTLY.

Pros: Thinks you’re the coolest, hypes you up 24/7.

Cons: Might throw a cat toy at you just to see what happens.

Carlisle Cullen

“This is remarkable… your biology must be completely different from the wolves.”

Fascinated but respectful.

100% wants to run tests but only if you’re okay with it.

Makes sure you have a comfortable space when you shift—maybe even designs a little elevated resting spot for you.

Pros: Treats you with respect, makes sure you’re taken care of.

Cons: Might get way too into the science of it.

Paul Lahote

“Oh, so we got a little kitty cat over here?”

Immediately tries to push your buttons but lowkey intimidated.

One day, you pin him down in a sparring match and he shuts up real quick.

Now he respects you. Maybe too much.

Pros: Loves a challenge, ends up super into you being a tough fighter.

Cons: The teasing NEVER ENDS.

Bonus Reactions:

Alice: “Omg, you’re SO sleek and elegant! You HAVE to let me style you in all black.”

Rosalie: Lowkey thinks you’re the superior shifter because cats are independent and don’t take orders.

Seth: “Wait… do you like belly rubs or no?”

[shunshunrika]

GOJO SATORU - NSFW Alphabet!!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

﹒↷��⟢ Would probably stay beside you and talk. Doesn't try to run around doing acts of service because he is just as exhausted as you are. Believes that discussing the experience after the deed is the foundation of a good relationship. Nah, as if. He just likes to lay down and calm down from his high while he eyes your boobs and your fucked out face. He does like to stroke you until you fall asleep though. If you satisfied him enough, he'll cook a nice breakfast for you the next day.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

﹒↷﹒⟢ Yours: He likes your tits the most. They are squishy, they are soft, there's TWO of them. If he could stay in contact with your boobs forever 24/7, he'd do so. Small or huge, he loves his two cute little bundles of pleasure. Find him latching on quite frequently.

His: On himself, he likes his waist the most. His tiny, cinched waist, lined with rugged abs and a drool-worthy V-Line. A few tufts of his pubes showing through his underwear. What is there to not love about his waist? He knows the ladies wait for him to stretch so his shirt would ride up and they'd get a glance.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

﹒↷﹒⟢ His secret innate technique is actually limitless cum. Cums so much, it's illegal. It's impossible. He just won't give up even when there's no sperm left to ejaculate xD. It's always creamy and clumpy though, a bit mild in flavor, slightly salty and glides easily on the tongue, not like the sticky kind. You love to swish it around your mouth. Has great bubble blowing potential too. You show Satoru sometimes and he watches on his amusement. When your mouth has more saliva than his cum, you finally swallow, content with your meal. You keep begging him for more to swallow though and usually, he'd happily oblige. His dick is now your personal pacifier.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

﹒↷﹒⟢ He's definitely a pillow princess if you let him be and probably wants to get pegged. Has a thing for caring and protective people. He's so powerful, people think he's got to be dominant, both on the battlefield and in bed. But secretly, he just wants to lay back, get his dick and nips sucked, receive kisses along with lots of praise and probably get titties in his face when he's down. He's a baby boy through and through and usually hides that side of him. Find him sucking on your panties in secret and moaning "Y/N mommy"

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

﹒↷﹒⟢ He's probably very experienced. As of 2023, he's in his mid 30s, he's fuckinggg handsome, he's charismatic as shit - he gets a lot of women and it's no surprise. But it's hard for him to get attached to any of those women he's slept with. Yet, he definitely has a double-digit body count, closer to triple digit, do not make the mistake of believing he's a virgin or inexperienced and such. His experience and his ego of being the best makes him deliver outstandingly in bed though so, good for you!

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

﹒↷﹒⟢ Loves something where he can see your titties bounce up and down uncontrollably so he's a huge fan of cowgirl and the rocking horse position. Will make your tits all moist and musty with how much his warm gasps and sighs hit your skin. He loves to be as close to you as possible while also being comfortably deep inside your walls.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

﹒↷﹒⟢ He is more often goofy than not, it's a major part of his personality. Very likely to make dumb jokes mid thrust or imitate your orgasm face after you recover from it. But that's only when the higher ups aren't pestering him. If he's had a particularly tiring day at work, he likes to keep the sex more serious and self-serving. He'd prefer he could just release all that pent up tension during sex and maybe if he's feeling better after that, he'd come back for cuddles or even a more enjoyable round 2.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

﹒↷﹒⟢ He has a WHITE carpet. Let that sink in LOL. At first you thought it was weird because it oddly reminded you of old people and it spoiled his mood as well. So he choose to trim it down to a fuzz which looks peachy more than white now. So yeah, he's rather clean down there, hates the idea of too much hair. Sometimes you find a few long strands leftover under his balls while sucking him off though, and it always makes you groan. You've suggested Satoru to dye his pubes but the expression he made, made you take it back.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

﹒↷﹒⟢ Well. I don't see him as a romantic kinda guy really. Sure, he'd caress you and kiss you a lot, but he's more of a talker than a toucher. Loves staring at you, right into your soul while he's making you squirt. Loves seeing your reactions to him - from something as innocent as blushing and something as lewd as your rolled back eyes. Sometimes, he'd blurt out some of the most philosophical quotes about romance after nutting though and it'd genuinely confuse you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

﹒↷﹒⟢ He doesn't jack off too often actually. He used to do it every other day when he was a teen though, using gravure magazines. But now that he has you to help him out, he rarely does it. Only when he's away from you for weeks, does he feel the need to wank off to one of his memories of your bum. Sometimes wonders if he should leave his cum as is on one of the restroom walls of the jujutsu schools but decides against it.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

﹒↷﹒⟢ Definitely, praise kink. Loves to be praise. Sometimes gives praise but mostly likes receiving it more. Also definitely has a lingerie fetish. Loves it when you dress in frilly, expensive lingerie that he bought for you while you rut against his expensive dress pants. Honestly, he might be into exhibitionism and voyeurism as well. Has thought about watching you get fucked by his male friends on multiple occasions even though emotionally, he's a possessive person. Oh and mommy kink. for sure. As well as dacrophilia.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

﹒↷﹒⟢ OK. Probably, his go to is the balcony. I don't know, something about fucking on the balcony of a sky-rise, overlooking the city he protects while the stars shine on you and the miniscule cars rush by below really, really turns him on. Other than that, he loves his shower fucks and maybe once or twice, a demon took over him and he fucked you outside the apartment, right against the door. Because he was that desperate and drunk for your pussy. You let him though because you enjoy the thrill - of being seen when Gojo Satoru's dick is locked in your ass.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

﹒↷﹒⟢ What turns him on is a good mood. Whenever he's happy or feeling positive, he also gets horny af. Whenever there's a win or he feels accomplished, the first thought that crosses his mind is "Would be nice if I can deepthroat Y/N right now." Other than that, tight clothing on you really turns him on - the spillage specifically. He loves that he has a soft pouch of fat on you that he can squish while he's fucking the living daylights out of you. He also becomes a beast when you compliment him and the way he fucks.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

﹒↷﹒⟢ He doesn't like extreme stuff so he's probably not into all of that - things like excretion fetish, blood play etc. Also likely not into being called a daddy. It's not something he associates with his image and personality. He'd rather call you mommy though. Loves to dom you though and might accept a 'sir' instead of a daddy. Probably not that much into anal as well because it grosses him out - what if he gets shit on his dick?! One of his biggest turn offs is when people disrespect him. Hates derogatory talk, even if it's during sex. He likes to keep it playful yet dignified.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

﹒↷﹒⟢ He is probably quite decent at giving oral. An orgasm is almost always guaranteed after a few minutes of his tongue play. He loves to receive it. His dick is really sensitive, and he loves it when you put your mouth to play on it. Prefers it over penetration or hand jobs actually, but on you, he prefers to finger you - and his fingering skills are out of this world. The ring and middle finger combined, create magic.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

﹒↷﹒⟢ I'd peg him as a slow but rough guy. He isn't in a hurry so he goes at comfortable pace. That being said, he's really strong so every thrust of his is lick being jabbed with a hammer. He goes deep too. Usually likes to pin your arms down, position himself so his dick goes in in a curved trajectory, and he keeps his speed sensually and sickeningly slow. It gets you so slimy though, his dick is practically playing slip and slide inside you within minutes. On a few occasions though, he'd choose to go faster but shallower - that's mostly when you argue and he's pissed. Then you get further pissed because you aren't creaming anymore.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

﹒↷﹒⟢ It is a frequent occurence and specifically happens before his meetings with higher ups. He needs so much mental fortitude to deal with them, he needs a quick fuck right before he enters the meeting room. He'd probably pin you to the wall of Jujutusu tech's shitty bathroom and pound into you from behind, cumming inside and making you keep it till nightfall so he can come see it leak out of you. The high gives him enough joy to meet those geezers with a smile, knowing he gets more pussy than they ever dreamt of having.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

﹒↷﹒⟢ I'd say he's willing to try everything once. If he doesn't like it, he doesn't like it. But he will try it atleast once.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

﹒↷﹒⟢ Oh, he can go. Has a lot of stamina. It's you who doesn't have enough stamina and gives up after round 3 or 4. He doesn't last like exceptionally long, but he can go for multiple rounds so it doesn't bother you. Plus the intensity of each session is so high, you are crumbling after a few go's. You especially lose it when he goes mating press on you, your thighs are sure to cramp up.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

﹒↷﹒⟢ Is a huge supporter of vibrators. Loves to use it on you, loves when you use it on him. He often wonders why humans don't naturally have the ability to vibrate - it'd add so much value to life! would prod you for hours with a vibrator, bringing you close to an orgasm then snatching it away. Would also love vibrating cock rings as they make him tense up and throw his head back in pleasure.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

﹒↷﹒⟢ 10/10 a tease. BIG tease. Unfair game 100/10. He's a fucking MENACE. Would probably tease you till you start crying. Would tease you about EVERYTHING. the way you moan, the way you are a ho for him, the way your eyes sparkle when he suggests he's in the mood. strongly believes orgasm denial improves the quality of sex and will test this theory unannounced making you almost slap him on several occasions. Even out of sex, he's always slapping your butt or groping your hips in public or around the house, while he's eating a donut, or passes you coincidentally while grocery shopping or when you're cooking.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

﹒↷﹒⟢ I see him as a whimperer. No he's definitely a whimperer and moaner. Groans aren't a thing with him. Sometimes you question who's domming if you're the one under him and he's whimpering in your ear while thrusting hard. You see the loudest whimpers when you're biting and sucking his nipples though - apparently, he's really sensitive over there. He'd not care if anyone, upstairs or downstairs listens in - he's happy if they know he has a healthy sex life. He's also rather shrill with his moans sometimes and you wonder if he's competing with you.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

﹒↷﹒⟢ "Ah shit, I'm cumming again." Satoru says.

"Do it, Let it all out. You need it anyway." you whimper as you feel him pounding into you from behind. You are so immersed in your thoughts and pleasure that you don't even notice the dirtied tiles of the bathroom you both are cramped up in. Satoru has his pants lowered a tad bit so he can let his dick free and thrust into you at an angry pace.

"Those old farts. They think they run this world." He said in between thrusts as he pulled at your ponytail. "And they think they can rule over me, when they need me for even killing a flea."

"You're so better than all of them Toru!" you gasp, feeling the delicious pull on your hair as you let your eyes roll back. "Fuck all of them!"

"Hell yeah!" Satoru yelled out, his voice echoing off the grimy walls. "I am the best, indeed!"

"Say it again, babe!" he asks, voice excited as he slaps your ass. You wonder how many people can hear you moan and cry out for him. "Shit, I wish the geezers could see us right now, do you think I should record this and give them a heart attack!"

"Ew I don't want those gross men to see me naked!" you reply, turning back and pouting at him.

"HAhaha. fair enough. ah, shit-" his voice catches all of a sudden as he stiffens up and you feel a warm liquid fill you up as you close your eyes.

"Shit." he says, pulling out his limp dick and zipping up. "Keep that all in for me, princess." he says, caressing the skin of your ass.

"When I come back tonight to eat you out, I'll tell you all about how I messed with those geezers!" Satoru says with a wink before deserting the bathroom and heading to an important meeting.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

﹒↷﹒⟢ Hmm. I'd give him some credit and say he's a good 7 inches when he's hard. Has a rather slender wee-wee with a larger, pointier head. Has a pale cock that is adorned by some of that peachy fuzz at the base. Has HUMONGOUS balls that sag. When his dick is aroused, it's a pretty coral-peachy shade. His dick has a slight curve to it, pointing upwards.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

﹒↷﹒⟢ It was high before, it is still rather high now. He's still like a teenager sometimes. "Y/N, let's do it!!!" "Y/N, you look so hot, sit on me!" "Y/N, Wanna fuck? ;)" he's just so fucking cute. He's gotten more mature over the years though. Sex is no longer an everyday event, but surely once in three days. Some months of the year though, his libido is off the roof, and he's going at it with you multiple times a day, everyday. You believe soon when you start trying for a baby, he'd fuck you more.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

﹒↷﹒⟢ Stays awake and only sleeps after you do. Surprise surprise. Although he seems like someone who'd fall asleep right after, he'd actually care and stay awake and look after you for a bit and only then go to sleep - even if he's drowsy and tired as fuck.

[rotting-ink]

How would the ROs (troww, asking for all 3 would probably be too much lol) handle a witch with 0 self-esteem/confidence. Like, they absolutely do not understand what the RO sees in them, and are pretty much resigned to wait for the moment the RO leaves them because they got bored of the witch or "they finally realized they could do so much better"? And who just completely wilts and withdraws whenever someone else flirts with the RO (which probably happens a fair amount, since all of them are total babes), ready to "step aside" so they could be happy?

So... Dont think... This is going to be as soothing as you want. ALSO, like a quick note, I've been on tumblr long enough to notice these types of ask always pop up after a lot of poly talk and then other characters dating each other. Just saying I'm not a fan of that. Carry on.

L Rawlins: L is too old for this. From the top, they haven't been with anyone since the death of their spouse, they haven't even taken a lover and... After getting together... ? This? Brother, they're going to get flirted with from time to time, especially within their own pack. To live with the pack, you need thicker skin. L just gets exasperated after a while. "If you think that I'm too stupid to realise what and who I want in life, or that I'm going to leave you every time Riley comes to make a dirty joke, this is not on me. And I do not have time to soothe you every time it happens." Going to set it straight right at the start of the relationship, because they do not have patience for the same speech over and over again. L loves you but they will not have a lot of patience for this.

S Della Rovere- "... That is very boring of you." The first lesson of romancing S, is that you cannot bore them. Low self esteem bores them, especially if it goes past feeling unattractive or not believing in themself. Those two things, S cannot WAIT to shower you with compliments. But if your low self esteem impacts your relationship where they cannot hold their parties or even fucking leave the house without you going limp-dog-on-a-leash mode, S is going to get impatient. "Well, first of all, there is no 'the one'. I've been alive too long to believe in that. And if I'm holding your hand, why are you stepping aside? Stop this before it gets too boring."

Z Chambers- "... Ri...ght?" Dude they're dead. The only other ones that can see them is Starling, Seir and Saleos. Going to quietly wonder about your mental health. "... I don't like people, Reapers don't date each other and... You think this?" They're fully going to believe this is weird. You're the one who decided to start dating an invisible dead person and they deem this such a weird thing to worry about when like... WELL. Look at them?? Brother,

V De Winters- So let's get this straight. They were a beast to you at the beginning. You know they are married. They have a terrible reputation that smears their character. They cut so much time out of their day to spend time with you. Like, lots of time being together in private solitude. Going to side eye. So hard. "Well. I wish my current spouse had your self esteem, I'd be happier. But stop this."

Seir- ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? They roll with it if they found you in the asylum, otherwise they're staring at you. "... Humans are strange." BROTHER YOUR SOULS ARE INTERTWINED FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY

Saleos- Will laugh in your face. "Oh, look at you! What a little martyr!" This is like if you saw your puppy whining and and trying to take itself to the pound after a dog ran up to sniff them. "What shall you do today? Take the fall for Buckley's murder too? D'awh." Just going to start thinking you're kinda dumb. And leaves it at that. Bring it up too many times and they think about the pros of your mouth so they don't stitch it shut.

Starling Knight- ??? Okay. Wishes therapy was wide spread so badly. "... This is a deeply unhealthy way to think. You doing nothing but upsetting yourself, and if it progresses, it will upset me." Their life is genuinely stressful enough already to have to pull you out of your self pity pit too many times. And they aren't afraid to break up for their own mental health.

A Lancaster- Frowns. "... I am making an active, dangerous choice to be with you." Just doesn't understand it. Going to sit with you when you're like this, but fully doesn't get it. "... Can't believe the others could just incapacitate so easily. They could run up to you and say that I hung out with Hester and boom. Dragged of to the pyre." Flicks your nose. "Stop it. It's making you weak to more things than drowning in your own insecurities."

E Rawlins- HEY, GET HELP. IT'S TIME. E WON'T EVEN FUCKING UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE YAPPING ABOUT!!!!! THEY WANT TO LIVE IN YOUR SKIN!!! THEY LIVE IN THE WITCHWOOD NOW JUST TO STAY CLOSE!!! THEY DON'T SEE ANYONE. A N Y O N E. THEY WANT TO KILL PEOPLE WHO FLIRT WITH YOU. MATCH THEIR FREAK!!!!

Quincy Beaumont- "Well, this is just insulting. To me. I am SUCH a catch and you just lie down and cry instead of fighting for my beautiful hand? Pick yourself up, darling." Welcome to Quincy's version of tough love. Like, they are NOT going to leave you for one of the 50 randos that flirt with them that day. They aren't a tramp <3 But they are going to have to sit you down. "If you look like you're going to hang yourself every time I get flowers after a performance, do I have to put away all the lovely ribbons I got before you make a noose?"

D Woolf- Dude, you two should just break up at this point. You two are just going to make each other miserable. Just the two of you are going to be "No, you deserve better than me!" Every time you two hang out, I don't think you two are even dating at this stage. You two look like two people who are covered in thrown tomatoes, but no one even fucking threw them. You two just laid down in it and rolled around and then t r e m b l e d up to each other to mope in each other's faces. You're going to piss off everyone around you and all that's going to do is that EVERYONE is going to sell you out to the hunters for being so damn insufferable.

[jazzyblusnowflake]

I saw your post about your Nuzi headcanons and I have to say THEY ARE ADORABLE!

But it got me thinking, do you have any Vuzi headcanons?

I don't why but I've become obsessed with them in the past while and I wanted to know if you had any ideas for them since you made that incredible Vuzi comic a while back.

oh jeesums, i didn't really expect people to like my HCs enough for it to get over a hundred likes 😭😭😭💕

but yesss id love to take a swing at writing down my subconsciously decided vuzi headcanons too XD so lessee-

Some Vuzi Headcanons i got òvó:

[once again only the drone version ones and as sfw as i can manage lmao sorry asddjfkdfl-]

This version being for AFTER everything is over with and V is ALIVE //or I'm going for Liam's neck personally//- but whether she's with N too or not is for your own interpretation, cuz for ME personally she gets with Uzi AFTER N and Uzi were already a thing together-

Starting a bit similar to the previous HCs, unlike with N, Uzi and V looooooooooooove calling eachother names- ranging from pet names to petty insults, they very hardly call each other their actual names lmao; and Uzi is probably the ONLY person that could get to call V pet names or flirt with her and get away unscathed- V has very little tolerance for anyone else. when actually trying to be intimate or flirty- Uzi loves calling V "Kitty" [cliche i know] and its one of the more acceptable pet names that V allows, but sometimes Uzi goes for pet names to actually make V blush and feel flustered, and those are usually from Uzis more compassionate side since V is allergic to romance apparently 🙄. calling V things like "my pretty", "gorgeous", "you wild thing"- drives V up the wall and she's stuck between wanting to bite Uzi's face off or rip her own off- and likewise when V wants to fluster Uzi she has her own range of heat fueled pet names like "baby bat/batsy", "cutie", "my little snacc"- and overall their job is to try and drive eachother insane lmao. less romantic names on both their sides would be=> [Uzi]: fatty, insufferable nutcase, dumb boob// [V]: shorty, edgy toaster, lil freakshow- and etc etc. TLDR: names.... they call eachother alot of names. that's it lmao.

They have a more avoidant relationship, where N and Uzi would seek comfort in one another, Uzi and V realize when the other isn't feeling well they need space to let off steam and trust one another enough that the other will come to them when they are ready. this isn't the most perfect way to deal with things given they are usually on a time crunch and need to get over their traumas quickly, but in the end they both know they are there for eachother when it matters the most.

teasing.... they do alot of that- although one would argue that V is the only one winning here 😭. V would not let the subject of Uzi being short go- if there's any moment that she could make the joke, she will not let the opportunity pass- anything relating to flustering or embarrassing Uzi absolutely goes- its not uncommon for N to walk in on the two fighting while V is just laughing and cooing at the other that she's just a cute lil baby while Uzi is trying her best to strangle the other without actually harming her. but then Uzi says that V is just a big dumb boob cuz that's all she could see from her pov and N is desperately trying to keep himself from laughing in the background-

V loves picking up Uzi.... that's it... she would never admit it out loud, but holding Uzi up, whether on her back or holding her from the front and feeling Uzi cling to her for support gives her immense internal joy, even if she doesn't show it in her expression. she often prefers picking Uzi up when they make out and this works in both their favors too cuz Uzi loves being taller lmao.

V wouldn't admit it but she is terrified of Uzi getting angry. like actually, genuinely, furiously LIVID level of angry Uzi is enough to make V curl her tail between her legs and just step away slowly. and Uzi.... when Uzi is mad, she talks sickeningly sweet to V. that's how V knows its time to fucking RUN or PERISH.

V is a lot more traumatized than N from Cyn's influence. during her comatosed state she can still vividly remember all the things Cyn had done to her in her mindspace, the same way N got to see all of his own mangled bodies in his own headspace, but unlike N she remembered all of it, hence why she turned into a neurological murder bot. So while she is with the others shes often scared opening up emotionally, and to fix this Uzi tries to force her for some cuddle times. don't get me wrong sometimes both N and Uzi have to literally WRESTLE V til she no longer has energy to fight back just to drag her in the cuddle pile. she usually doesn't talk much and even more rarely breaks down into crying but she's secretly grateful of having Uzi to sometimes force her into things she should do more often in order to heal, and one of those is learning to trust again.

V and Uzi have sparring sessions every now and then- tho sometimes V fights dirty- if you catch my drift lmao- and Uzi is weak for that shit, sadly 😔 Uzi finds herself contemplating her life choices when V is constantly giving her new kinks to consider smhhhh. it doesnt help that V doesnt treat Uzi as weak or breakable, she goes all out and Uzi is thankful to her about it. tho N would not touch this particular catfight between two wild ladies with a 100ft pole- [which would probably be the distance he's standing and watching from...just in case...]

funny enough most of their arguments end with makeout sessions. N cant tell if this is their way of flirting from the start or their way of making up after a fight....

V is secretly protective of Uzi, not interfering when Uzi is dealing with someone but standing a few steps behind her, brandishing her claws just in case, to send an obvious message.

V is absolutely rough when trying to be intimate. Uzi needs lots of energy to heal from bite marks but they always make sure the other is comfortable about it. but when Uzi is soft and gentle with her and focuses on being reassuring and loving towards her, V's a flustered incoherent mess-

despite being the more avoidant one, V is usually the one who initiates any intimacy- [mostly because Uzi is too short or busy or embarrassed to do so 🙄] and when she gets needy, Uzi feels internally giddy as though a cat has chosen her or something-

Uzi likes to ask V sometimes of any HAPPY memories she had back at the mansion.

OKAY- damn that was LOOOOOONG- hope these are good enough- i had a lot of fun writing them :D

once again, left out any nsfw hcs 😇 enjoy the dumpster fire lesbiams-

i also tried my best to leave out the N x Uzi x V headcanons so it would seem more specifically for Vuzi :"3

[bestjeanistmonster]

I want to let you know that I love your aus and sonic works especially the DC au. I love how you made your own versions, backgrounds, and stories for the sonic characters with the designs and many more. I love how you made Sonic being Harley Quinn with its on style and story similar yet different from the original. Looking forward to see more but can I have some questions?

Will Tails end up being Nightwing once he grows up? How about Sonic's thoughts on Knuckles the billionaire (without knowing he is batman)? Does Shadow and Sonic know about Rouge's sorta relationship with Batman?

AWWW TYYYY!!!!!!!!!

1) I honestly haven’t thought that much about it cuz he’s the littlest guy but i imagine at some point he might become nightwing tho i won’t

2) he has generally the same view as everyone else in Gotham, that he’s some rich dumbass who has more money than sense and is always in the news doing dumb stuff or dating some model, donating to charities or whatever. But then there’s the whole situation with Knuckles the billionaire adopting his little brother after he left, which gives him a few mixed personal feelings

Tails seemed happy enough, he lives in a big mansion instead of a crappy apartment, more money than he’d ever seen, goes to a good school, has more opportunities, doesn’t have to struggle to survive

he even introduced himself to the guy to check out his vibe and he seems to be pretty cool

but there is a tight painful feeling in chest whenever he sees the two in gossip sections of magazines and newspapers looking happy but he pushes it away

Tails finally had a good life and he’s grateful to that Knuckles guy for giving it to him

3) Rouge is naturally just pretty flirty, just doing it for fun is just her thing, so they wouldn’t raise too many eyebrows when she does the same to the big bat himself, sure sometimes even sonic throws in the odd flirt or two as a joke to get the guy to fluster and mess with his focus

they make fun of her and gag whenever she does it

but sometimes the way she kinda talks about with a touch of fond intrigue… it sets them on edge a bit, they know she’s joking when she says he’s a ‘catch’ but… nah she’s joking (she wasn’t entirely joking)

they’ve decided trust her to a certain extent, in their line of work extending that trust is very dangerous and they don’t take it lightly. its already being stretched thin with how many times they’ve left each other dry, but it is still there

so if she and batman do have something going on things would probably get dicey real fast and Rouge knows this

good thing she’s an amazing liar

[no-goodbyes-no-regrets]

Hi! Happy Sunday! ❤️

A 911 Question and you don't have to answer it if you don't want to. I caught up with that Buck scene "I don't have to sleep with everyone...". Do you think Tommy saying "now that the competition is away...." was a bit....how shall I put it....PLOT? I mean, yes, on the show everyone seems to be convinced that Buck is in love with Eddie and probably so is Tommy. But when Tommy broke up with Buck, he did it because he was evolved...or at least that is the impression I got- he could see himself falling for Buck, he knew Buck was just discovering his sexuality which might make him want to experiment with others, his bromance with Eddie was always there (although Buck made it very clear he was chasing Tommy and not Eddie)...he just didn't want to be in this messy situationship....very evolved. And so it was more than just Eddie. So, Tommy saying yeah I am willing to give it a shot again since the competition is away 'cheapens it" a bit...or so I thought watching the scene .. though he did end that conversation gracefully. I was wondering what your thoughts are on this because you know I support the other team 😂 so I may not be seeing it right.

Ah but did you watch the scene where Buck is ranting at Maddie that he's not in love with his straight best friend?

I know your team (lol it's like the football here) thinks he's in denial... but sometimes things just are as simple as believing what the character is saying.

(finding the right gif took EFFORT ok - the tumblr gif search sucks. please appreciate my hard work)

ANYWAYS

I don't think Tommy believes Buck is in love with Eddie. And he didn't break up with Buck because he didn't want to be involved in his friendship with Eddie. Tommy is an insecure mess of a man very good at pretending he's a cool guy without a care in the world. He broke up with Buck because in his mind, he was never going to be good enough to keep Buck happy and sooner or later he'd find someone else and dump Tommy for this other person. And he was already absolutely smitten (these idiots are in love your honour) and thought it would hurt less if he walked away now instead of waiting for Buck to realise he's not as cool as he wants people to think he is.

The competition thing was a dumb joke that he hides behind A LOT. I saw someone explain it better than I can but I can't find the post anymore... But basically he doesn't think Eddie is gay and Buck is in love with him, but he knows from experience that sometimes people don't realise they're Not Straight until later in life. He didn't come out until he was in his 30s and the same goes for Buck. So he's not necessarily scared of Eddie being gay, but more of the possibility he could be. And that plays into his self worth and abandonment issues - which make him run.

And Buck has foot in mouth syndrome where he tries to say something and it comes out all wrong and hurts the person he's talking to.

I think he wanted to say he knows what and who he wants (Tommy, not Eddie) and can decide for himself who he wants to sleep with (Tommy, not Eddie) but instead he made Tommy think he was just a nice fuck and he doesn't have feelings for him.

These idiots are very much in love and they're actually on the same page, but one bolts at the first sign of someone breaking down his walls and the other is so used to being left that he keeps letting him run away. Someone should lock them in a room where they can't get out until they actually TALK to each other.

But hopefully with a nice Near Death Experience in ep 14/15 they will finally sort their shit out.

[gamerbot-22]

Could you do a headcanon about Vash being the father of twins?

Me, reading this prompt for the first time: Aww, how cute, Vash as a dad! Me, reading this prompt a second time, really honing in on the "twins" part: Oh. Vash as a dad to twins... Okay. Fuck yes. Love where your head's at.

Vash the Stampede as a Father to Twins

TW/CWs: A LOT of angst semi-balanced out with Vash shenanigans (Vashenanigans, if you would), no reader insert here, written with no particular version of Vash in mind so feel free to slot in your fave, mentions of children in danger with nothing explicit happening, barely proofread and I appreciate spellchecks!

A/N: This was the first ask I got while I was out on vacation in CO and getting hit upside the head with the angst potential of this while I was mid-latte-made-by-my-best-friend was an insane experience (in a good way!) Sorry if you were looking for something entirely lighthearted, I just could not let go of the potential of this once I saw it.

Likes and Reblogs appreciated, Requests are Open, and it’s all under the cut!

The dividers in this post were made by @/saradika ☆

So right off the bat, I'm not going to concern myself too much about the biological parentage of these hypothetical twins because in my heart of hearts I do not think Vash would care. Like it does not matter to him if these kids came from him, someone else, or the sands of Gunsmoke itself, he is going to love these kids to the stars and back.

I think he's a very hands-on parent to the point of being overbearing at times. He is a Wanted Outlaw whether he wants to be or not, and he knows that there are a lot of hardened people out there in the desert that would not think twice about shooting a kid, so he gets even more defensive than he normally does in his fighting. He probably picks up a couple more scars making sure his kids don't get a scratch on them.

As hands-on as he is, I think it goes without saying that Vash is incredibly gentle. His scoldings for fights and bad behavior are stern, but he never gets loud. He saves that for if his twins are in active danger, so they know immediately when they need to start running away or hiding.

Building off the gentleness, he really pushes for his twins to get along and watch out for each other, almost directly quoting Rem when he tells them to take care of one another. He doesn't talk about their Uncle Nai very often, but the kids aren't stupid. They know their dad misses his brother, and doesn't want his kids to know the heartbreak that comes with losing your best friend.

Phew, on a lighter note! When there's downtime I think Vash just goes full jungle gym if that's the way his kids want to play. He has one looped around his neck and the other hanging off his prosthetic like a monkey, all three of them laughing and smiling in the shade while they catch their breath. He tells them silly stories and they play dumb games and he is weak to his kids asking for sweets whenever they go places. More than once the three of them have eaten enough donuts to just be down for the count for a day or so, which just means they're all in a big pile in bed or in the shade just relaxing and waiting for the collective tummy hurt to pass.

I also think that after a while the three of 'em all laugh and smile the exact same. Like if you tell them a funny joke you get a literal harmonized choir of laughter and giggling as they lean against each other or fall into the sand. They're all cutie patooties, even if there's not much of a family resemblance between father and children.

And despite what I said earlier about Vash being a bit more ready to throw himself in harm's way to protect his kids, I think he actually starts to take better care of himself for them. Yes, he's spent the better part of a century and a half protecting people, but none of those people (save a very small handful) have ever really depended on him the way his twins have. If he goes, there will be no one to protect them, especially if he dies out in the desert, far away from any towns or settlements. So he eats more, drinks more water, and actually starts to carry more medical supplies with him than he usually did (he even gets some cute character bandages for the little cuts and scratches.)

The night he first met his children, he swore a vow to himself and to them that he would live to see them reach the future. No matter what. And I think that means when the kids are older--say, mid-teens at the youngest--Vash starts to like... gently suggest they stay in the different towns they pass through. It becomes part of the routine of stopping somewhere: They find an inn, they get some food, Vash tries to sell his kids on staying in the nice, warm inn for a bit while he goes on, and they stay for a while until something happens and they're forced to move on.

It's not that he doesn't love these kids--he loves them more than he thought he could love anyone--but he can't... imagine them thriving in the life he's living, wandering aimlessly across the desert looking for some non-existent paradise that doesn't know Vash's face just so the three of them can have some peace and quiet. His children's lives, finite as they might be (depending on where you think these kids came from) are worth their weight in gold to Vash. It makes him understand why Rem stayed behind on the SEEDS ship to give him and Nai a chance, and it breaks him into a thousand pieces every time he thinks about it. If a life without him means they have a chance at something safe and normal, then it's a price Vash is more than willing to pay.

[4urvalidation]

A CASE OF LIMERENCE | Chapter Six

PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER

A/N: A sort of short and filler-ish chapter before the real events start unraveling

“Hey.” 

“Hi angel.” With a worried smile, Leni watches Sarah prop her phone on something and rummaging in the space around her. She has her hair neatly wrapped in a towel; the bags under her eyes visible even from a mile away. “Whatcha doin’?” 

She flashes her a tub of sunscreen, “Skin care. It’s the only thing I can do without losing my mind.” Leni nods somberly, and watches her best friend apply a large chunk of cream all over her tired, but pretty face.

“Sar, you should really get some sleep.”

“I know. It’s just… it’s this place…”

“What place?” And that’s when it hits her. There was a reason why she thought the back of Sarah’s room looked so strange and yet familiar. Sarah’s back in her childhood bedroom. In Tannyhill. 

“Home.” She sighs, picking up her phone and giving Leni a small tour of the room they used to spend countless summer days in. On the bed, comfortably tucked under a pristinely white  duvet lies a very much asleep John B. When Sarah comes closer he stirs a little and that’s when the snoring begins. 

“Are you sure your childhood home is the reason why you can’t fall asleep right now?” 

Sarah snorts, her frown finally replaced with a wide grin. “If only.” With that, she moves their conversation to the large dining area downstairs. “To be honest, I do kinda miss it, but at the same time, I really don’t like being here.” 

“Maybe you just need time.” 

“Maybe.” Sarah bites the inside of her cheek, gaze stuck somewhere in the far distance. “Leni, he still owes people money.”

“Rafe?” His name comes out in the form of a croak. 

“Yes. That’s why he was in the hospital. Someone jumped him last night. He was out running and apparently this guy just attacked him right out of nowhere. Bashed his head with a rock… started kicking him… Leni… he could’ve died.” 

Leni opens her mouth to speak but no words come out. She’s been rendered completely speechless. Not only that, she also happens to feel the slightest bit of guilt, but not for what she did. That’s all Rafe’s fault and she feels zero remorse about it. Okay, maybe not zero; a part of Leni does feel kinda bad about the way things transpired in the end. Especially the part where she helplessly watches her best friend in the entire world lose sleep because her brother told some bullshit story. 

All because he wanted to protect Leni. 

Just like wanted to protect Wade all those years ago and suddenly, her guilt isn’t completely unjustified. 

She swallows. 

“Is he… is Rafe gonna be okay?” 

“Yeah. He only got a concussion so the doctor said he’s gonna be fine by tomorrow. He just needs to sleep it off.” A wave of relief washes Leni the second she hears Sarah say that. “And what about you? (“Me?”) A little birdie told me you and JJ were texting the whole night.” A mischievous grin spreads across Sarah’s entire face and fuck - Leni completely forgot to reply to his message!  

He’s probably sat at home thinking he crossed a line or something and that now she’s ghosting him. 

“Yeah, we were and then he sent me this text about how my pizza needs meat and I couldn’t figure out whether he was being flirty or just making a dumb joke so, I kinda ignored him for a second and went to cool my head off on Instagram and-” The image of Simon’s story flashes before her eyes. She should’ve blocked him when she had a chance; so many things would’ve been easier (or better said avoided) if she had done that. 

“And?” 

“Simon has a new girlfriend.”

“WHAT!?” Sarah’s face goes pale with shock. “But it’s barely been a month!” Leni nods, her eyes now slowly beginning to fill with tears. “You should’ve reposted JJ’s story on your main. Actually! -  you should post a photo of JJ like immediately! That’ll teach him.” 

“You’re right but… I don’t want JJ to think I’m using him to get back to my ex or something..” 

“Why would he think that? Don’t you like him?”

“I do! It’s just… I don’t think I’m ready to do anything with anyone just yet.” 

“I get it. Wound’s still sore.” Leni nods again. “You know what we should do? We should find the guy that jumped Rafe and hire him to do the same to your ex. Maybe that’ll teach him a lesson.”

When Leni arrives at The Wreck, Cleo is already there: sat on their table in the back while Kiara is running around, her hands busy with a tray full of orders. “Jesus what happened to you?” It was a question Leni expected to be hearing until the deep purple bruises slowly faded into a nasty yellow and then hopefully altogether. 

She smiles sheepishly as if what she’s about to say it’s truly mortifying and embarrassing and in hindsight - it is. “Long story.” A sigh escapes her lips in such a perfect way, you’d think she’s out here gunning for an Oscar. 

“I’m curious. Make it short.”

“Last night I found out my ex has a new girlfriend so I went for a run to clear my head but forgot to tie my shoelaces so I stepped on one and tripped and fell.” 

Kie’s face scrunches into a grimace. “Well that’s embarrassing.”

“Yeah.”

“But hey - at least you didn’t get jumped by your ex- dealer.” 

“My ex what?”

“You ex-dealer. Well, in this case Rafe’s ex-dealer. Who jumped him. Cause he owed money.”  Kie says smiling. The people she’s giving out their order to, don’t seem as entertained though. “Enjoy your meal.” She says sweetly before turning back to Leni, “Oh, by the way - Sarah said you’re looking for a job?” 

Leni blinks, “Uh, yeah.” 

“Come work for us. You’ll get so many free meals plus we’ll get to hang out like -  all the time.” In that moment she realizes just how hard it is to say no to Kiara. Especially when she’s smiling like that and even though working at a seafood restaurant wasn’t the fun summer job Leni had exactly in mind, it’s still a job and she could really use the money. 

“Yeah. Sure.” 

A squeal leaves Kie’s throat as she jumps, pulling Leni into a tight hug. “Awesome. I’ll go tell my parents! You have no idea how many brownie points you’ll be getting me by doing this Leni! I owe you!” 

With an equally huge grin Leni watches Kiara disappear behind the counter before finally joining Cleo. “Kie roped you into working for her parents?” It’s the first thing she says after their hug, forcing Leni to furrow her brows. “Don’t give me that face. It’s a good thing. I’m only saying it because she’s basically asked everybody and you’re the only one that said yes. Well - that’s not true. JJ agreed, but her parents hated the idea.” 

“Why?”

“Cause they don’t like him. I’m pretty sure they’ve always felt that way. I mean - why else would Kie be dating Pope instead of him?” Cleo’s eyes suddenly grow as large as saucers. “Shit. Pretend I didn’t just say that.”

“Say what?” An amused smile begins spreading in the corners of Leni’s lips all while Cleo actively avoids direct eye contact. 

“Just… are you thirsty? Let’s order something.” 

“Cleo. Look at me.” Cleo refuses to look at her despite the gentle tone in Leni’s voice. She’s too busy perusing the drinks menu. “I’m not gonna say anything. But I do want to know if there’s something going on between JJ and Kie.” 

“Nothing’s going on between JJ and Kie. She’s with Pope and JJ and I are part of the No-Love Club. The end.” 

“What the fuck is the No-Love Club?” 

With an earth shattering sigh, Cleo finally stops hiding behind the menu and faces her. “It’s this stupid thing Pope came up with when Sarah and John B broke up for a hot minute. The friend group got totally disrupted and one night he was like: ‘Swear no more inner dating! If you wanna hook up do it outside!’ and we were all drunk and sad and just agreed with his bullshit idea.” 

Leni blinks.

“So, wait… Pope and Kie are no longer part of the club?” 

“No they are. They just bend some rules.” 

“And each other.” 

Cleo grimaces. “Don’t put pictures in my brain.” 

“But why are they allowed to do the inner dating thing, but not … I’m confused.” 

“Me too Leni. Me fucking too.” It’s what she says, but the answer is right there - all over Cleo’s forced smile.

Rafe still hasn’t replied to her text. 

Obviously, this is something that shouldn’t concern Leni one bit and yet, there she is - obsessively checking her phone every ten minutes or so. Cleo and Kiara have been aware of this, after all it was one of the many reasons why she totally blanked out not on one, but two of their conversations and missed out on very important information regarding last night’s get together. 

JJ on the other hand, wasn’t so subtle. Not only did he make things incredibly awkward by refusing her hug with a fistbump, he also made sure to embarrass her by loudly asking whether she was expecting a text from her boyfriend. 

“Stop being an insecure dick!” She overhears Kie saying to him through gritted teeth - amongst other, unintelligible things - before skipping away with Pope for a lovely sunset swim. 

“Hey.” JJ plops right beside Leni. His voice is so quiet it almost sounds like a whisper. “Sorry for being a dick.” Their gazes meet. 

Next to her, Cleo shuffles. “And that’s my queue to leave.” 

The air between her and JJ is charged, but nothing like the kind she’s felt with others. With the corner of her eye, Leni watches him play around the sand with a stick; his long hair covering half of his face and suddenly she is hit by the strangest of sensations: she wants to run her hands through his hair. She wants to push it back; see just how far it’ll go and gaze into those blue eyes in the same way she used to gaze into Rafe’s last night. 

Rafe. 

Her heart skips a beat at the thought of his name and it takes all the power in the world not to reach for her phone and check whether he’s finally replied.

“I was gonna text you back, y’know. It’s just…” She awkwardly gestures at her bruised legs and sloppily places bandaids. “This happened.” 

JJ takes her hands into his own, carefully inspecting the torn skin on the inside of her palms before intertwining their fingers. “I didn’t take you for a clumsy girl.” He says, making her laugh and he squeezes her hand a little before letting go of it entirely. “It’s cute.” 

Their eyes meet and his are so… clear. Like the ocean on a beautiful sunny day; its color an enviable light blue and making Leni want to plunge in it without any hesitations. In a matter of seconds she can picture certain moments of her life with him; the early morning trips to the beach, lazy kisses that taste like warm beer and weed; the smell of sandalwood lingering on her skin and salt in her hair. 

It’s the perfect summer romance.��

The kind she’s dreamt of since she was a little girl and yet-

“Did you miss us?” John B’s voice cuts her daydream in half and Leni can’t help but think it’s for the better. Kie and Pope come out of the ocean and Cleo joins in soon after - her palms full of pretty shells. 

They huddle together by the growing fire: shoulders touching and legs covered in sand. Beer bottles start being opened and Kie has the summer nights playlist softly playing from one of the portable speakers Sarah took from Tannyhill and everything is just like it’s supposed to be except there she is again: thinking about Rafe. 

Why hasn’t he texted her yet? 

She looks over to Sarah, as if she could be the one capable of providing Leni with this answer and even though she might be, she still remains the last person Leni would ever ask about Rafe. And that’s when she notices; the distant look in her best friend’s gaze, the very same she would be a witness of every now and then and Sarah doesn’t have to say anything. All it takes is for the two to lock eyes and in a matter of seconds, they find themselves standing. 

“We’re… we have to pee.” Leni says sheepishly before reaching for Sarah’s hand and moving far far away from the others.  “Sar… talk to me.” She says as soon as they’re out of earshot and that single question is all it takes for her best friend to have a complete and total meltdown. “What’s going on?“

“I can’t do this… I can’t sit around and pretend I’m fine when my brother was in the hospital and no one seems to care! Like - they were literally making jokes about it! Saying he deserves it…” Well, he did kinda deserve it, but Leni would never ever admit this to Sarah or worse - tell her she is the reason why her brother got concussed in the first place. Although she does have the sneaky feeling that Sarah might end up siding with her once she finds out why Rafe got knocked by a rock in the first place.  “I know he’s a piece of shit, but he’s still my brother…” 

Nodding, Leni pulls her into a tight hug, rubbing soothing circles all over her back, “I know… I know…” 

“Wanna know the most fucked up thing? His ex was his emergency contact.” Sofia. The sole mention of her name makes Leni’s heart skip a beat and she hopes to god, Sarah wasn’t able to feel it. “If she didn’t have my number, I probably wouldn’t even have known he’s in the hospital. Like - you should’ve seen him Leni… He was so bloody.” 

There it is again - the twinge of guilt that has absolutely no business being there. It eats away at Leni; the same way anxiety and all those other piled up regrets do in the darkest hours of the night. 

“I thought he had relapsed. When they called me last night - I thought he had relapsed or, or overdosed or both and I just… he’s the only family I have left. With Wheezie and Rose off to god knows where, Rafe is all I have left...” Sarah pulls away, her pretty face wet with tears. “You won’t judge me if I try to fix things with him, right?”

As long as you don’t judge me for not being able to stop thinking about him.

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[brianlesshetaliawritings]

if you're still doing requests- nsfw alphabet with switzerland 👉👈

i am my motivation just doesn't agree if that makes sense and most of my requests i'm either far too ambitious with and keep re-writing or are just not something i'm interested in rn. thank u for handing me an excuse to write about the guy. was an easy and fun write. might have minor errors. very sorry this took a bit ! (also- should i redo the yandere alphabet with him? i feel its REALLY ooc now that i re-read it..)

Switzerland NSFW Alphabet

warnings : nsfw ofc, nothing intense otherwise though. made him dominant here, request again if you want him submissive.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Not the most extra individual, but it's definitely not non-existent or anything. he will be ensuring you're not in pain, not thirsty, not uncomfortable.. He'll probably want to clean up and whatnot though once confirmed that you're all good.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes his own eyes, they're always useful and a lot of his activities frequently require good eyesight, which he has. Definitely enjoys his hands too though, he's pretty used to work that requires physical labor so they're helpful too.

He's never said it, but it's easy to tell your thighs and hips are a favorite of his regarding activities such as these. His hands frequently drift there, and so does his line of sight when he thinks you're not looking.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He prefers it inside, just more convenient in his opinion. He'll understand if you want it outside though, then it'll usually just end up somewhere else on your body, no particular areas of interest really.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Although he feels really creepy for doing it, if you gave him literally any shirts, pants, or anything along those lines as a gift, he likely smelt it while jerking off. It just really gets him going, and he hates it (loves it, just won't admit it to himself).

Also, side note, has thought about fucking in the forest. He usually doesn't like risks, but he feels really in his element when out in the woods and his mind can't help but drift to such thoughts.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Unexperienced, but not really dumb to what he should do and the alike. Might secretly read a bit to learn what all he should look out for, or do. Keeps looking away every ten seconds though throughout his research because he's sort of a prude.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Usually goes for Missionary. He's a very simple man, and doesn't like to get too weird when it's up to positions, so it just fits him. Would also be willing to do some other ones though, as long as they aren't too squished or require too much flexibility. It's not like he can't handle either of those, it's just very distracting to him and this is definitely something he likes to focus on.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Not a silly guy in general, even less lighthearted when having sex. Finds it awkward if you make any jokes, but wouldn't mind if you laughed at any accidents or anything like one of you slipping.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Doesn't see the point to shaving that which very few people will ever see, but he also doesn't like being overly hairy. He keeps it trimmed to a shorter length, just seems like a waste of time to do anything more. It's the same colour as his hair too, not even like the slightest difference.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Not overly romantic, but it's the small things he does that shows his affection. Always keeps an eye out to make sure you're comfortable, has a tendency to adjust you without asking just to be sure you're in a nice spot. Still embarrased to kiss you, by the way.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Only when he finds it neccessary. Switzy is a rather prudent man, and sexual activity doesn't really land on his mind that often. Sometimes though, he does have those straying thoughts. Ones he has to handle himself. Ones he internally punishes himself for, but exist nevertheless.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Sorta likes the idea of outdoor sex. Just scared of getting caught, is all. He's very much a fan of nature, and he's spent lots of time in it. He largely prefers it there over cities any day of the week. So maybe on some of his property, further out, after he's scoped the whole area and put a million "no trespassing" signs up. (And likely brought a gun.. Just incaese.)

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Bedroom, usually. Bathroom, occasionally. Elsewhere, in your dreams. Too horrified at the idea of his sister coming to visit him just to get scarred for life. Hates to do anything outside his/your own home, ignoring the above section of course (when he gets brave enough to test that out).

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

As I might've mentioned earlier, he loves your thighs and hips. Size doesn't matter, scarring doesn't matter.. HE JUST LOVES THEM! If visible, they instantly catch his attention, and sort of distract him. Only a teensy bit though, he's not gawking at you or anything.. Also likes it if you give him lots of big kisses while you rub him up. Anywhere on his body too, really, it's his favorite thing. (Even more- he loves if you squeeze his butt. He might huff a bit if you do, but trust, he secretely adores it.)

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything that risky. In any way you can think of. Literally all forms of risks are a major no for him. Physically risky, reputation risky.. All of them.

Also, anything gross. Won't go along with watersports, emetophilia.. Anything along those lines are a no-no for him. Would completely wreck his mood.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Sort of nervous on recieving oral? Not really for himself too, he just doesn't want you to feel physical discomfort or choke or anything.. It's not really his thing. Totally up for giving, though. You might not expect it, but he's actually rather big on giving. Would honestly be satisfied if that's all you two do for the night.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He tends to gear towards a happy medium pace most of the time (exceptions can be made..). Sensual isn't really a word to describe it, nor is it rough. Not harsh, but not fluid. He feels if he goes rough he'll hurt you, and that's really not something he wants. But if he goes slow it just makes him feel shy, if that makes sense. It gives you the opportunity to really focus in on him, and he isn't exactly talkative in sex either outside simple questions and the alike, so it makes him feel awkard. A speed that's gentle but not too calm.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He's not a fan, and he'll rarely ever agree to go along with them. If he does though, then those are the times that the exceptions mentioned above happen. Though, admittedly, even though he isn't neccessarily a fan, he doesn't hate them.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Okay, unlike above, he's actually a real hater of risks. And there's really no elaborating on it either, as it's pretty much already been covered. Will not agree to risks.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

While usually he tends to try and keep it at one to three rounds, he can do more. He's a physically abled man, and has quite a bit of stamina due to all the training he does and the alike. If he really wanted to he could go for.. Five? Probably could do seven, but he's just not that much of a sex fanatic, so that won't really happen.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Would never buy any. Why get such a thing if he's already equipped with parts for this activity? Might be willing to try some simpler things though, if you get it. Don't expect him to go for any BDSM stuff though, that's just really not his thing.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Not at all. He simply doesn't have the patience for it. Teasing him does get you somewhere though, if you're interested. Just don't expect him to humor you for too long.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Tries to be as silent as possible. Naturally, he isn't that noisy anyways, but it still embarrasess him. Panting, grunting. Maybe lower-sounding very muffled whimpering (only if you work to get it out of him).

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Has considered jealousy sex.. On multiple occassions. Only racked up the courage for it once. Just finds it too silly and stupid to do it any other time.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Uncut, six inches. His pubic hair is a slightly darker blond, but similar to his hair. Only keeps it trimmed since he just doesn't get the point to shaving. Too much drama for something that doesn't really cause any difference besides aesthetics.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Not high. It's non-existant, supposedly. It's mostly just due to the fact he chooses to ignore it instead of actually indulging himself in sexual pleasure though! Realistically, it's likely just a bit below average.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

If he does go to sleep afterwards, it's likely after a couple of hours. He has a few things to do beforehand so he won't get to it immediately. Would definitely stick with you for a bit after you fall asleep though, even if he himself decides to not rest.