#probably didn't need to be said but yknow just in case

[fridayyy-13th]

oh so tonight's one of those Yearning nights, huh

[apolsup]

The super epic polycule cooking

Fhs week day 5

Polyship - Traditional/FolkClothing - Scarring

This started as me joking abt peeling potatoes being the ultimate date idea, I love peeling potatoes so yeah

So basically this is my idea of the different uhh dynamics between each of these guys,

Anyways I'll explain some things bc I've been thinking about this for a while now

I feel like Aiden and Oliver (my Bonnie) were dating for a while now since they've known each other for a long time, Aiden probably confessed first (at like 15) since hes a bit uhhh act first think later. Oliver was like "cool, wanna date then?" And they've been together ever since

Bon is obviously crushing on Oliver, but knows hes dating Aiden, starts hanging out with Freddy (Oliver asked him if it was cool for him to bring him in order to help him out since yknow guitar) and they hit it off, instead of falling into a codependent situationship like my freddon au, they start dating (bc of the little detail of Aiden and Oliver already dating)

So turns out, Aiden and Freddy are kind of developing feelings for each other, Freddy feels SO guilty bc hes crushing on his best friend boyfriend who is also his best friend, he still loves Bon to death but he cant just pick one and forget about the other he just can't. Aiden is having his own internal hell because he loves his boyfriend but yknow why the fuck is he also crushing on his best friend???? But since hes always been honest with Oliver (it took a while to get there) he decides to just tell him. Oliver has never really been someone to care about society's rule, so he's like "ok? Date him then I don't really mind or care dude, it's fine" so now Aiden has to talk to Freddy about this BUT Bon is also in the picture in case he forgot

So Freddy has been feeling awful for days and has no idea how to tell Bon about what the fuck is going on. Aiden decides to talk to him, and is honest, I like you, I still love my boyfriend, I asked him and Oliver said he doesn't mind, but I know about you and jhon- uh Bon, but if hes cool with it id love to take you out on a date or something I don't know...

Freddy of course is feelings #guiltyaf but also relived to know that at least

1. His feelings are not one sided and

2. Oliver is fine with the idea of sharing a partner

Of course hed like to accept but says he needs time to talk to Bon about it but that he also kind of feels some kind of vibe there and leaves, giving him a little bit of hope at least

Now talking to Bon? It was hard, he loves him but knows hes insecure about this topic (love, dating and stuff) so he tries to be as gentle as possible and tells him, I still love you, but ive been developing feelings for Aiden and uhmm recently he told me that hes been crushing on me and already confirmed with Oliver, and hes fine with it so he wants to like uhmm take me out but I didn't want to give him an answer until I talked about this with you and uhhh yeah I think thats all I still love you I promise I just need to know what you think about this

Bon is surprised, stunned, shell shocked even. He takes his time to think and talk to Freddy. Long story short, he accepts but needs a hell of reassurance that everything between them is fine. After this emotional talk, he timidly asks Freddy about Oliver, Freddy is surprised to see that he still has some small bit of hope in there but smiles and squeezes his hand, he tells him that he could give it a shot and hed be completely supportive and help out if he needed it, but he didn't know how or what would Oliver say if he did ask him out

So how do Bon and Aiden start dating? Well since they're metamours they have to at least be neutral to each other, at some point when they are all hanging out Aiden and Bon would have to interact more, turns out Aiden is kinda cool and okay maybe a little cute. Aiden thinks Bon is nice and its fun to watch him get nervous about horror topics, over flirting with Freddy or other things so they like each other at least enough to consider each other a friend. Time passes and turns out they like-like each other, by this moment they're used to the whole 'polyamory' thing and after giving a heads up to their partners (they both knew way before them) they go out together and well now they're dating too! After talking Aiden also hypes Bon up to ask Oliver out, he tells him "look ive seen some sparks between you two especially when you're playing the guitar, I know Oliver and im sure he'll accept!" So he does, and surprise! He accepted yay!!

So Bon and Onni have some story, way before meeting the animatronics he used to hang out with the nightmares (he used to be way edgier than how he was when he met the gang, his teenage angst was perfect for them!) And got along great with Onni since they had the smallest age gap (a year) theres two aus where they have a story, one where they were dating and Bon broke up with him due to changing and leaving the nightmares behind to befriend and form the toys with the girls, so Onni tries to get him back but is ignored. In the other, Onni has a crush on him but Bon rejects him due to his father being, well his father and not providing a safe space for his kid to realize who he is (Bon did return his feelings but got scared and chose to flee and then he meets the girls and forms the toys). The story changes a bit depending on the au, but it has the same general vibe, Bon finds him Onni sad at the library looking at his failed test (Onni got in with a scholarship and his ability with the guitar btw) Bon would usually just leave but the guilt kicks him again right in the ass and decides to walk up to him and ask if he's okay, Onni is still bummed out so he just answers by pointing at his test and the big red "2.0" (nota mínima d acá idk) and sighs. Bon knows this will end up in disaster but still, sits down after saying "I'm so gonna regret this..." And asks him if he could help him out, Onni accepts, turns out no one else wanted to help him because of his reputation.

So they start meeting at the library occasionally to study, and to bons credit Onnis grades seem to get better! They start to get more comfortable around each other and they fall back into a friendship, it's sweet, inside that library they get to joke and talk as if no time had passed, it feels as if they were barely 13 again. Bon apologizes for being a dick (he was kind of an asshole for just leaving and ignoring the nightmares) but also he needs him to apologize to those he hurt, Bon knows about his tendency to steal from Oliver and making fun of him, he can't exactly just ignore that.

So Onni does so, because he did feel at least a little guilty about it, especially more now that he had a more... Morally oriented friend/potential future boyfriend? He goes and apologizes to Oliver (and other people he hurt as well), Oliver obviously, doesn't like him and hits him, hard. Twice. A knuckle sandwich just for you! And leaves, Bon after hearing about this tends to his poor black eye and split lip (damn Oliver you had that talent hidden huh) but also "you have to admit you did have it coming" "yeah, yeah I know"

Of course they can feel the tension, they know that the other feels the same way but they dance around each other for a while before actually confessing (because their friends/partners were so DONE with it they had to force them to do it) and start dating

Aiden and Oliver DO. NOT. like him at all but they tolerate him for Bons sake, he did prove that he can handle him and control his destructive tendencies, so they accept him under the condition that he does not try to interact with them, and everyone is content with that, (also Freddy doesn't particularly care).

Fred is still here, by this time the animatronics all know about him and they like him, they're friends, Bon learnt about him some time after dating Freddy and they're also on friendly terms, they like to sing together whenever Freddy allows him to possess the body for a while. Fred kind of feels some sparks with Bon but he doesn't know how to explore this so hes ignoring this for a while (Bon is kind of unaware but he does kind of feel warm inside whenever they're sitting side by side and brushing knees)

Out of everyone, Fred is closer to Auryn (my golden) because they can relate to feeling trapped in their living situation and not having enough freedom, due to different reasons since one is a ghost with no memories of his life and the other is a repressed guy with a controlling family but they relate to each other a lot. Fred and Auryn have been dancing around each other for a loooong while, the slowest slow burn to ever slow burn. But Freddy has been pushing Fred to ask golden out for a long time. And when he's just about to do it, Auryn beats him to it! Damn it Goulding! (Joy helped) he says yes but they have to be subtle because Auryns family is, as said before, very controlling and if they ever found out about this they could take Auryn back to England (mi golden es British 😱😱) to finish his studies there so yeah, it sucks but it is what it is.

Auryn and Bon are chill around each other, not exactly friends but they like the other. Bon is also on the "im scared of my parental figures control over me haha" club so he and Auryn have at least something in common. They kiiiinda have some sort of attraction but they haven't talked about it yet.

But yeah I think thats all, maybe ill pick this up some other time bc its so fun to think about different aus where the super epic polycule exists but whatever

OHMYGOD this took a long time to write what the fuck anyways byeeeee

[starmycar]

Cole headcanons

They have a bad habit of chewing their nails, it's not a severe habit that they do it all the time but it's noticeable. Like you can look at their nails and it's shorter than a normal person's nails.

Clemy tried to break their bad habit but it lasted for a few weeks before they got back to their bad habit 😑

THEY'RE EXTREMELY GOOD AT BORED GAMES

To the point that when the gang tries to play bored games they ask Cole to take it easy on them 😭

Their love language is gift giving <3

They deffo made the gang matching friendship bracelets 😝

They're really good at making bracelets that Kingsley decided to make their hobby a business 😋 Cole didn't mind tho but their fingers were starting to hurt 😞 that's why they have a bandages on their fingers

MATCHING BANDAGES WITH KINGSLEY 😝

THEY LOVE CATS IT'S ADORABLE 😭💕

Clemy prolly found them hugging a cat in their sleep 🥺 it was so adorable 😭

Cole also found an injured stray kitten and BEGGED Perrine to let them keep it but Perrine said no 😞

But Cole was too soft hearted so they took care of it and sneaked the kitten in 😜 so now they have a pet cat 🥺

THEY'RE GOOD AT WRITING POEMS

They prolly have a poem about clemy stacked in their drawer somewhere

Cole and the gang had this ritual where every time it's raining they have to dance under the rain 🤭

They tried to cut their hair once 😐 IT DID NOT END WELL 😶 Kingsley walked in on them cutting their hair and teased them for it 😊

Kingsley was prolly like "what did you do to your hair 😂" "don't tell anyone please 🙏😭" and Kingsley agreed to help Cole with their hair but they still teased them about it 🙄

Has a soft spot for animals so they became a vegan 🥺 they just can't handle eating animals yknow?

Prolly has a secret spot outside of the village where they could just take a breather and relax because we need one once in a while y'know?

They are quite clumsy so they get hurt sometimes 😣 it's not that they're not aware of their surroundings oh no it's just that the universe is just against them 😐

They sometimes trip on nothing, bump into a random object so ye they have scars now 😎

If they were in our universe they most definitely have noise cancelling headphones

They listen to Cavetown, alex G, the bird and the bee, and Adrianne lenker

Their playlist name is deffo poetic and stuff, and selects the most random cover photo for their playlist

They won't live without music, so if all music mysteriously vanishes they won't live AT MOST 10 minutes (same)

Is musically smart

Also have this weird obsession of biology

So Yap about it A LOT to clemy, albeit shyly because they don't want to overshare 😣

But when Cole learned that clemy didn't mind they were OVER THE MOON

Is not a morning person like you PHYSICALLY have to pull them out of their bed

Is because their bed is REALLY comfortable to the point that one of the group snuck into their bedroom and slept there *ahem* Kingsley WHO SAID THAT

They have a bad case of nightmares, to the point that Perrine had to come over to their bedroom and wake them up because they were shaking and breathing heavily ☹️

It's so sad though because Cole because of the nightmares they stopped sleeping for 5 days 😦

But Perrine noticed and dragged them back to bed so not to worry 🤗 how'd Perry notice? It was probably because Cole was starting to hallucinate 😵‍💫

Their interaction basically went like this "hey Perrine what is that? 😟" "what is what Cole? 🤨" "that tree over there 🫵 it has faces on them 😦" "no it's not Cole 😑 okay you need to go to bed 😮‍💨"

After Cole slept they were scolded by Perrine 😣

𝗔/𝗻

This was so fun to make because I relate to Cole a lot so it wasn't hard to make 😋 and I will prolly post Kingsley's headcanons after this 🤭

Thank you for reading ꉂ(ˊᗜˋ*)♡

[butchtwelfthdoctor]

imagining proper communication for aziraphale and crowley is so difficult because so much of their dynamic is built on talking around what they really mean. stemming from 'we have to be careful what we say to each other in case heaven/hell is listening, don't thank me for helping you i'll get in trouble' all the way to 'one of us just essentially confessed love and the other literally said 'i need you' after we both vastly misunderstood that what we were asking each other were different versions of the same thing (being safe and together)'.

how would they even talk to each other if they didn't have to censor themselves? if the repression hadn't been there? it wouldn't've been the same story at all. their entire relationship is built around Not saying what they mean, and where that fails just repressing it. but it slips yknow, like they so obviously love each other, almost definitely they can tell the feeling is mutual - but they can never acknowledge it. because heaven or hell might be listening, and they probably don't know how to talk about feelings cos they just. never have.

which is really heartbreaking.

[project-sekai-facts]

THREE CHEERS FOR NIIGO TEASER HOORAY!!!

anyway so while it HAS to be a kanade focus bc just look at it, out of the 6 characters left that need focuses, only 2 (rui and ena) need 2dmvs. the tsukasa event song rn is a 3dmv and toya's is a 3dmv bc the teaser said so, but the n25 teaser didn't say "3dmv new stage!" or anything like that. so is it a possibility that the n25 event is an ena focus bc she needs a 2dmv and they can't do three 3dmvs in a row, or that it is a kanade focus but they're giving her another 2dmv, or the teaser doesn't actually mean anything and it's a kanade focus with a 3dmv. and either way how are they gonna handle the focus event lineup if more characters need 3dmvs than 2dmvs and they can't alternate

oh it's definitely kanade and definitely 3DMV. for starters, like yeah just look at the PV; Carnations, Kanzaki Iori saying it's about nostalgia, no way it's not Kanade. and for the MV, they've been evening out how many of each type every character has, so that they will have 2 of each as of their 4th event (obviously this is not the case for Toya due to Mirai, and they're giving out both types to all 3DMVs now but you get the point). Kanade only has 1 3DMV so she'll be getting one with this event.

The reason Kanade's teaser didn't say "new stage" was because the new N25 stage was added with Twilight Light, niigo's song from the 3rd anni image song campaign. also the VBS teaser isn't for Toya's event, it was for their entry in the campaign, and will later be used as the song for their World Link event. Toya isn't getting an event next month.

To be honest, now I think about it, Kanade 3DMV being the sole event next month actually does balance things out. earlier this year they did two 2DMVs back to back for plot reasons (Light Up the Fire and STEP by STEP + Minori and An coincidentally both needing 2DMVs), so b2b 3DMVs was going to happen eventually (also they get 2DMVs now so does it matter?).

so kanade 3dmv leaves you with honami, toya and haruka for 3DMVs and Rui and Ena for 2DMVs, pair Rui and Ena with two of the 3DMV charas and then the leftover one will pair with whoever kicks off 5th rotation. However.

My assumption is that they're gonna try and end the rotation at the event before the half anniversary again, and this almost works but it does require at least one unit lim banner, otherwise you end up going over by 1 event. as someone pointed out to me in a comment earlier the next one isn't really due until april/may but the only way you can get this to work is by having one out of the december/january/february lim slots be a unit lim event. due to vday and wday coming as a pair i think new years might be the one to go (considering the L/n plot new years could work for them. yknow changes and new beginnings).

as an example something like

December: N25 Kanade (3D) -> Minori perm mixed -> L/n Honami lims (3D)

January: VBS WL -> WxS Rui (2D) -> Mizuki Vday lims

February: VBS Toya (3D) -> N25 Ena (2D) -> Akito White Day lims

March: WxS WL -> MMJ Haruka (3D) -> Kanade 3.5th Anni lims

then you have idk saki and an to kick off the 5th rotation

this is by no means accurate i just threw this together as an example and didn't really put any thought into it

this probably doesn't make sense but. kanade 3dmv event in december.

[blood-injections]

i really want to know what Dr benzedrine's reaction is to seeing funsandkid love fighting (assuming that they do that because I haven't read all of ur funsandkid posts yet)

Yeah funsandkid totally fights but its more for fun and just adrenaline versus the usual funkobra fighting for pent up whatever for sanity etc. The three of them are their own little fight club idk if I'll ever get to writing anything about it but they'd try keeping it secret from Benz because. Doctor and sorta leader of the suitehearts they all think he'd be pissed bc they're unnecessarily hurting eacother or whatever even though they never go too far its just scrapes and bruises at the end of the day and an occasional black eye or split lip or something. Very rarely do they get seriously hurt aside from ghoul accidentally breaking kobras nose once. I also think benz wouldn't like kobra that much like hed be thick as theives with jet star i bet bc they have a medic/tired mom kind of bond. Anyway i think kobra gets sandman into racing and benz doesnt like kobra for that bc it means. I mean hes like its a hobby cool sandman needs more hobbies. He just doesn't like it bc its kobra and bc sandmans away from base more often its just best freind jealousy yknow hed used to fighting alongside sandman and them being super close but now kobra and ghoul are getting all the attention. But eventually like kobra and ghoul are around all the time and eventually hes just indifferent hes used to their bullshit he dosnt hate kobra hes just annoyed by him at worst. When he learns they like to fight eachother he isnt pissed like they think like he gives them a lecture but ultimately his reaction is just like. A heavy sigh and a "fine" yknow. Like i said hes used to their shit and hes not happy that theyre beating eachother up but he can see they clearly have like a system about it and make sure bot to go too far and take care of eachothers wounds if theres any so hes like as long as you dont waste our medical supplies i dont give a shit just dont concuss eachother.

BUT. If its the Dr Frankenstein Dr Benzedrine and frankenghoul thing im building, he would have a muchh different reaction because if ghouls his creation hed have a love hate relationship with it like any like parent and their kid hed hate that ghoul maybe didn't turn out exactly how he wanted like not being like him or hed hate that ghoul hates him because ghoul Would hate him, he'd have a sense of loyalty to benz and feel like he owes him it but also hed hate benz for like. Dude you literally made me alive but you wont let me like go be a person or do half these things fuck you. Because yeah benz is super protective of him. In this case ghoul would have a ton of pent up anger and sandman would be sympathetic with his needs to like fucking live and would sneak him out to have fun behind benz back and then theyd meet kobra and in this case if benz found them sneaking off to party or whatever, let alone fighting eachother for fun, hed freak the fuck out cause hes so protective of ghoul and hed yell abt them putting it in danger and risking ghouls health and shit becaue like. He made ghoul and hes scared ghoul could be unmade basically. Hes scared bc hes a crazy mad scienist and grafted different peoples body parts together or whatever and hes scared of ghoul literally falling apart at the seams but like ghouls tougher than benz thinks he is and maybe he'll see that eventually, but at the moment hed be pissed at them all and hed like try to keep ghoul and sandman separated and hed ban them from seeing kobra, which yknow it just makes them all hate him more rip and totally leads to ghoul fucking running away and joining the fab four and sandman probably fucking off to stick with his boyfriends and it totally makes the crews have a rivalry and shit until they all talk it out and forgive eachother, to their extents

[serpentmessmer]

john knows who's working that particular truck stop glory hole, but dean chooses not to look at the guys so he'll never know, john hopes

I HAVE BEEN THINKING ALL MORNING ABOUT THIS GNASHING TEETH LETS GAUR!!!!! (Update from 9 PM me: this took all day but yknow what? I stand by my madness)

Dean's halfway through rolling a cigarette to add to the pile when the door opens. He doesn't move, doesn't even look up, the sound of John's truck is as familiar to him as the sounds of his dad's breathing. It's a sign that dad's come home again, putting to rest his anxieties that dad would die on this one.

"We out of storebought?" John's voice is a tired growl. It's midday and he sounds exhausted. Dean's sure dad hasn't slept since he left the day before yesterday. At the comment, guilt swims in his guts. He coulda gone out, could have scraped some change out of the bottom of their bag and snagged a pack for him. Shit, he had slippery fingers, he probably could have pinched a pack.

"I'm kinda tight on cash, thought we might need food a little more." Dean said, looking his dad up and down. His face was gaunt, there was no way he'd stopped for food on the hunt. Of course, without Dean there to make sure his family was taken care of, they wouldn't do it themselves. Sam and John both relied on him, that was starkly clear when either one was without him.

He watched as John sighed and rubbed a big hand over his face, his posture slumping with exhaustion as he stood there. "You up to run by the Stray Dog?" Hunter bar, Dean knew what he meant by asking that immediately. 'Are you up to putting your mouth to some good use?'

The dog was a not-uncommon stop for the two of them. Seedy, packed with hunters that John didn't like but was willing to swap notes with. On Dean's front, the stalls in the bathroom had long ago had holes drilled into the shitty plywood that divided them - too shitty of a dive bar to have even bothered with standard metal stall walling. At least with the boards, the gap to see a dudes shoes was way smaller.

John gave his ass a quick sneaky squeeze as they parted and Dean headed to the bathroom, his eyes on the floor. The place was full of regulars, faces he'd seen before, and he didn't tend to think too much about the body on the other side of the wall.

They'd run this hustle before. Dad would take the money out front and send the guy back, Dean would be waiting in the bathroom to get on his knees and suck the guy off. Usually when they did this he'd spit into the toilet next to him, trying not to gag at the taste of the various dudes cum. Hunters weren't known for maintaining good diets, and that transferred in nasty ways.

Not even five minutes and he heard the door of the stall next to him scrape, heard the clink of the lock. Dean got to his knees as he heard the guy next door unzip. A minute or so passed as he listened to the guy in the stall next to him jerk himself hard before the dick was through the hole.

His breath caught in his chest as he sat there frozen in the moment. That was his dad. That was his dad's dick. Dean know what his dad's dick looked like, they'd spent years sharing hotel rooms and by-the-month studio rentals when there was a lot to deal with in one spot. He'd listened as his father jerked off, watching to make sure Sam stayed asleep and to be a sight barrier just in case.

John cleared his throat expectantly in the next stall, bringing Dean's focus back to the bar shitter. To his dad's dick stuck through the hole in the wall. He swallowed hard, his breathing shaky as he leaned in. "I know someone's in there, c'mon man," said John from the other side, putting on the affable tough guy voice he used around other hunters. The voice that said he didn't want shit, but he could handle it.

The dick in front of him - his dad's dick - wiggled around expectantly as Dean steeled himself. He could pretend this was some dude he didn't know well, someone he'd only known through a sheet of plywood. He took the dick into his mouth, sucking tentatively at first, more focused than usual on his teeth. Dean had never said anything about it, it was way too weird for him to admit out loud, but he'd always kind of wanted to suck his dad off.

He bobbed his head rhythmically, taking all of John's cock into his mouth with hungry enthusiasm. Dean could hear him breathing on the other side of the wall, could hear his dad's breaths grow raspy and quick as he sped up, driving John closer and closer to finishing.

Most of the time he wasn't this enthusiastic about sucking a dick though the wall, the act much more professionally technical and routine. Get the rhythm going, keep the suction consistent, slow down as he finishes, spit. Hearing his dad groan, the thump of his hand against the wall as John held himself steady, all of it was different. He'd made his dad make those noises.

Dean's heart fluttered in his chest as he felt his dad cum in his mouth, letting out a soft moan around his cock that mimicked the one John made on the other side of the hole. Dean swallowed as he listened to his dad's breathing return to normal, wiping his mouth clean of his spit as the footsteps receded.

Not two minutes later, he felt the cheap phone buzz in his pocket with a text. "Lets go." From dad. Jesus, had some sicko paid his dad to get sucked off by him? With a baffled shake of his head, Dean rose from the bathroom floor and headed out to meet John in the parking lot.

"The hell happened in there?" Dean stared dutifully at the ground as he asked, thinking about the feel of his father's cock in his mouth again. The salty tang of his skin.

"Hm?" John said as he turned around before breaking into a cocky grin. "Ah, the money. Yeah, well," he said, trailing off as he reached in his pocket and pulled out a shabby but decently thick wallet, "Found this on one of the dead guys the vamps got."

He clapped Dean heavily on the shoulder as he stepped closer to the car, chuckling softly. "Slow night's nothing to worry about. I got the info I needed."

[thenamesblurrito]

screw it have the cosmere/transformers thoughts that plague me

spoilers ahoy

i'm willing to bet that whatever Adonalsium was, Primus and Unicron may be vaguely similar entities depending on interpretation. obviously the cosmere belongs exclusively to the Shards, but if it's a dwarf galaxy, then perhaps, just perhaps, Cybertron's galaxy could be its neighbor

(please picture Adonalsium and Primus studiously ignoring each other across lightyears of empty space bc they have their own problems thank you very much that other god over there is minding their own business)

Unicron may not have been strong enough to eat Adonalsium straight up, given that we know he can be defeated by Primus/various forces vaguely allied with Primus. but the scattered, weakened Shards warring with one another... hmmm the cosmere might look like a nice snack now

IF we go with the understanding that they are similar but alien entities to one another, then would there not be an entire system of "investiture" equivalence for Cybertron? you've got outliers and point-one percenters, you've got the Primal artifacts of great magic power, you've got everything about the Allspark, the Spiritual Realm Well of Sparks, the various properties of energon and sentio metallico and transwarp energy, etc. i'm willing to bet that there's an entire Cybertronian paradigm to realmatic theory that could be explored by perhaps a very very lost member of the Seventeenth Shard that has a similar setup but different power source to the cosmere

and if that's the case, could Transformers even intersect at all with the cosmere's magic systems, when they run on their own system? could they absorb or be affected by investiture if they're full of energon and powered by a spark? would they be immune to any invested influence, but likewise be unable to use their own outlier abilities on an invested object, or a Shard-influenced or Adonalsium-created thing?

i'm not going to touch on Era 3 or 4, there's already so much to explore with "low tech" cosmere lore that i feel like bringing in computers and spaceships would just blow my mind and provide so many cool alt modes for Cybertronians to scan.... (that said i really need to read TotES)

spren manifest as metal in the Physical Realm. is a Transformer spark simply a powerful spren manifesting/forging a metal body in the Physical Realm?

is a Transformer's frame simply really fancy Shardplate?? (and didn't Brandon say that it would be extremely hard but possible for Radiants in Shardplate to combine?? helloooo gestalts)

could a Cybertronian bond a spren? would it function like a Headmaster/Targetmaster binary bond or like a proper Nahel bond??

would the Magnus Hammer be able to influence the Stormfather?

also coppermind Matrix. it's orange and everything

yknow that TFP episode where Optimus was dying (as usual) and then the hammer remade him bigger better faster stronger? something something he's a Returned (even moreso if you consider he's canonically one of the reincarnated original Thirteen)

actually i think i could argue that anyone upgraded to a Prime by the Matrix is a form of Returned

would LOVE to see a shade from Hell react to a Transformer. likewise would love to see anyone in the cosmere deal with an undead mech, be it ghost, Terrorcon, or Allspark-fueled

i think kandra wouldn't be any more gross to the average Cybertronian than any other organic, they're all made of meat and bones and recycled organic matter anyway. they'd probably think of kandra as organic Mutacons?

they'd probably find the color draining effects of Breath very morbid. after all, their own corpses go grey. it seems fitting

would cold constructed mecha be reforged into their spark-determined true form given enough investiture?

could a Shardblade cut through Cybertronian armor? assuming a mech is forged from cybermatter/sentio metallico, the metal flesh of a living planetary god, i'd like to think that may register... a little bit special, in realmatic theory

even if their armor was just normal metal, how much aluminum is in their makeup?

and if a Shardblade can slice through, would it deaden the limb or just cut it in half?

relatedly, could an Allomancer burn shavings from a mech's armor? if they're made of cybermatter instead of regular metal, what kind of effects would that have?

could an Allomancer steelpush off a mech?? would this mess with their internals? how precise could an Allomancer get with what particular body part/how deep into the frame they're targeting? a human weighs nothing next to a mech, but could they take one down by steelpushing the circuitry of the processor?

could energon store stormlight? or does it already have its own "investiture" equivalent as crystal blood of gods

photonic crystals can store sparks, so could they capture a spren?

Lockdown would collect Hemalurgic spikes

Sebarial and Swindle would be instant besties

Nightblood and Starscream. picture it

KELSIER and Starscream. oh god

would Kelsier punch Rung

for that matter would non-Cybertronians or people not native to the Unicron/Primus section of the universe operating on that power paradigm be able to perceive and remember Rung?

the Ghostbloods would try to take advantage of sudden giant alien metal warriors showing up out of nowhere. i'd like to think it would be a comedy of errors in miscommunication and accidentally thwarted plans until Kelsier throws up his hands and decides to call it quits on these guys

Soundwave would visit Roshar and have the same "it's the most beautiful music in the wooooooorld *sob*" breakdown as that one G1 episode upon hearing the rhythms and tones, i think he'd absolutely be able to hear them naturally

HEARTS OF STEEL STYLE TRANSFORMERS BUT COSMERE THEMED INSTEAD OF EARTH STEAMPUNK

Bondsmith Optimus. because yes

Lightweaver Jazz. spymaster? sound and light show? it's perfect

flying contest: Windrunners, Skybreakers, and Heavenly Ones vs Seekers. who wins? (personally i think nobody would "win" bc the two groups are functionally doing Very Different Things)

for a more applicable contest of power, anyone with the Surge of Gravitation vs Victorion

Ultra Magnus/Minimus Ambus would be right at home in Azir, please let him have fun with other rule-happy bureaucrats

and if you read this far, the real final reason i've thought so much about this...

i literally just want to see Hoid have to deal with any Cybertronian. i seriously cannot pick a favorite individual or scenario. Hoid ending up on the Lost Light? Hoid plopped on Cybertron and anointing himself Prime's Wit of the functionist regime bc by god they need someone to knock them down a peg? Hoid discovering a frozen Skyfire or Megatron on some cosmere planet? Hoid collecting minicons? Hoid adding another esoteric power to his list and getting possessed by the Cube ala RotF?

[gay-jesus-probably]

Okay this ended up being a little bit of a rant, I apologize

Most of the rewrite that my best friend and I are working on is just character devlopment tbh!! Like I think what totk tried to do was make their story both character driven and plot driven, they just failed miserably at both. Like imagine if Zelda and Mineru were parallels!! We have an entire plotline written involving making Rauru a secondary antagonist with that! And if Zelda and Sonia were foils instead of half assed parallels! Like yes, Zelda's a terrible character as is, but she has SO much potential because of her position, both politically speaking and emotionally speaking. It's like you said, it's really stupid that she's just in charge of all of Hyrule again. Why not like. Do something else with her?? Anything else??? And did we just. Forget about her father's abuse in botw? Because she shows exactly NOTHING as a result of that. This is an entirely different Zelda who happens to look the same. For all we care, the real Zelda in game could be the imposter and it wouldn't change a thing!!

Oh yeah, the characters in the game definitely needed more attention from the writing. Or like... literally any amount of attention.

For the record this might just be a case of me doing some sequence breaking and getting through things too early (via setting off the fifth sage plot AFTER finding all the memories and retrieving the master sword), but I truly, genuinely do not understand why Mineru exists. I can't tell what she adds to the narrative. Maybe she was supposed to tell me that Zelda's a dragon go rip a sword out of her head, just in case I hadn't figured that out? But it's kinda weird to have that failsafe, considering that the game is quick to spell it out for you that you should find the geoglyphs to learn what happened to Zelda, and we KNOW she was the last one to have the Master Sword. So Mineru is just a redundant reminder of something the player's probably already done, because yknow going to hyrule castle after four temples feels like a finale, so you'd obviously want to handle unfinished business first.

I mean, I guess the spirit temple boss fight was okay, if only because I found the robot fistfight to be so ridiculous that it was absolutely delightful (though the actual fight mechanics were tedious and annoying). But she didn't tell me anything new, I already knew that Zelda had vored a rock to become her fursona. Sharing that information was apparently the only thing Mineru was there to do, but the game had already spelled that out for me ages ago. She didn't contribute anything. I don't even know if she was supposed to contribute anything. Mineru was just there to force us to sit through the same fucking story about Ganon's sealing for the fifth goddamn time in a row. And then despite being literally the only person left from the actual war, she had literally nothing to contribute. WHY WAS MINERU IN THIS GAME. HOW DID SHE CONTRIBUTE TO THE NARRATIVE. I started jokingly referring to her as Mineral after I got started on the fifth sage plotline, because I knew from the dragon memories she was supposed to be haunting the Purah Pad, but she'd spent the entire game being about as important as a random rock. And apparently I was right, Mineru did literally nothing the whole time!

...Actually now that I think about it, what the fuck did ANY of the modern sages do? Their abilities were just the old powers except worse (give me revali's gale over tulin's thing any day of the week, jesus christ), except for Yunobo's ability which was just to replace remote bombs as a convenient infinite mining tool. The sages apparently were just there to show up at the end as a Big Damn Hero moment to rescue Link from the absolute terror of... red bokoblins. Seriously, WHY did they do all the 'ooooh ganons summoning an aaarmy' scenes using mainly the lowest tier of enemies??? Sir, I'm armed to the teeth, fully armoured, and loaded up on hearts and stamina, why the fuck am I supposed to be intimidated by enemies that were still cannon fodder when I was stark naked and armed with a tree branch. At least the four sages were characters we already knew from BOTW, and they got to do some stuff (though using Tulin instead of Teba was complete bullshit, I DO NOT WANT TO TAKE THIS RANDOM TEN YEAR OLD INTO A WAR ZONE. I FOUGHT A GIANT MECHA BIRD WITH TEBA, LET ME KICK ASS WITH BIRB DAD AGAIN)

Eugh. Just so much bad writing in this game, it's a constantly unfolding minefield of horrible decision making. Good luck with your fic though, and I hope you and your friend end up posting it! I've been finding pretty slim pickings on AO3 so far tbh; it seems everyone like me that's been trying to pick this story apart for good content is still trying to figure out what the fuck nintendo just handed us, so the AO3 has been mostly just people writing awful generic Link/Zelda content, mixed with the Link/Sidon shippers trying to fix the whole clusterfuck of Sidon getting a wife out of nowhere. Though I will say I have been very pleased with the fandom unanimously responding to that whole subplot with "Okay so this is some hetero nonsense because nintendo wanted to sink SidLink, BUT we love and respect Yona anyways". I guarantee if something like this had gone down like a decade ago, Yona would be the single most hated character in the game for it. I'm glad that she's being given love and respect despite having been made to be a shipbreaker!

Anyways my point is, I am a huge slut for character studies and worldbuilding, and dear lord have I ever been starved for content. There's so much ZeLink. All power to y'all that ship it of course, I'm glad you're happy, but their dynamic is the single most boring pile of dogshit I've ever seen in my life, and I'm way too aromantic to put up with it. My kingdom for some good character studies and/or platonic fics. Or even just interesting shipping fics that aren't focused on some shitty generic romance. There's a reason I love GanLink and it's not (just) for the porn, it's because those two literally always have some spectacular issues if they're together, regardless of the context. They're a walking psychological thriller, I love them.

[jaeger-pups]

omegaverse!Zekeren : a touchy disagreement?

Z: look I understand if you're mad but you're being reckless at this point

Z: Answer your damn phone, Eren

Z: think. you're by yourself out there

E: I AM thinking! I just need some air, fuck

Z: You left almost three hours ago

E: so fucking what? Stop texting me

E: in case screening your calls isn't making it clear, I do not want to speak to you

E: either of you.

E: I can't believe you actually agreed w/ him

Z: for what it's worth, I genuinely didn't think i was picking a side. Or that it'd upset you this much

Z: Grisha made a valid point though

Z: whether you see it or not

E: See WHAT?? you and dad are NEVER on the same page

E: about ANYTHING!

E: you couldn't have picked a worst stance to get behind

Z: what, that you're not like typical omegas?

Z: I didn't agree w/ that to insult you

E: yea but that's what HIS whole aim was, I bet

E: to make me feel like shit🙄

E: really could've left my gender out of it

E: it's always a cheap shot idc

E: "dOnT yOu ThInK iT'll Be DiFFiCuLt FoR yOu To FiNd An AlPhA wHo'LL pUt Up wItH a TeMpEr LiKe YoUrS?"

E: "hOnEsTlY, eReN. yOu sHoUlDnT sPeAk To AlPhAs LiKe ThAt. YoU mAkE yOuRsElF a TaRgEt."

E: he's always making me out to be fucking different

E: like it's a bad thing

E: what if I don't WANT to be like other omegas?

E: what if I don't CARE what Alphas think of me?

Z: It's just complicated, little brother

Z: honestly I think Grisha's just concerned about you

E: ugh, what fucking world do we live in where you're suddenly willing to VOUCH for him?

E: this feels sexist af why are you not on my side?

Z: I am on your side, ffs Eren! I just agreed w him about your temper. Even I’VE told you to be more careful. Have I not?

Z: you need to come back home. I gave Carla my word i wouldn't leave before you got back

Z: or that I'd go out and find you if you took too long

E: I'm still annoyed

E: I probably need like another half hour or something out here at least

Z: How far did you storm off?

E: far enough where I could rage in peace?😒

Z: It's getting dark out.

E: mhm.

Z: Eren.

E: I mean are you trying to persuade me? Or is this more of a command-thing?

Z: I wouldn't command you. You know that.

E: not that you couldn't. 😒

Z: I wouldn't is what I said. I couldn't do that to you.

E: cus I'm an omega.

Z: well... yes. That's part of it.

E: see? Now there YOU go doing it

E: reducing me to my God damn gender

E: I can defend myself, yknow. I don't need anyone hovering over me in case I make myself anymore "undesirable" 😑

Z: no one said you're undesirable, Eren

E: it's close enough. The way HE gets on my case, at least 🙄

E: you have no idea how hard it is, Zeke

E: like no idea. It's so much simpler to be an Alpha. Or a Beta.

E: at least no one undermines your thoughts or opinions. Or makes you feel like your sole purpose is submission & pleasing everyone else.

Z: I know I can't understand. But I hear you.

E: it gets so fucking frustrating

E: he acts like I fucking chose this or something.

E: I'm more pissed at him than at you honestly

E: cus its just like... constantly w/ him.

Z: yeah.

E: you know what I mean?

Z: ...Yeah. yes, actually.

E: right, so... idk.

E: i don't hate being an omega. It's not like... unbearable. Dangerous and annoying sometimes but.

E: dad just... makes me feel like I do it wrong or something. HE’S not even an omega, so it's like how tf can he tell me how to handle it? How to behave, even.

Z: Sorry for not realizing it was a sore subject

E: it's fine ig.

E: I mean at least you guys agreed on something for a change

E: I'm trying to get better w/ my temper too. He just never notices when im doing pretty good

E: cus even though I think it's performative...

E: I mean... I can talk less. And do chores. And cook; clean.

E: I can be an omega the way people expect.

E: I'm not different on purpose.

Z: you're perfect.

Z: Grisha's just always had this tunnel vision w his expectations for his kids

Z: you don't have to meet anyone's standards but your own tho

Z: Carla and Grisha just worry.

E: yea I know.

Z: you still have to be careful out here too, though.

E: ...I know. Sorry i ran off.

E: I'm coming back now. Mom's probably thinking the worst.

Z: well you're not wrong lol. She was able to relax when i told her you were finally responding to me

E: ok. Could you meet me halfway? It is pretty dark out.

Z: 😏 started walking maybe five minutes ago.

E: lucky you're so intuitive, huh? Lol do you even know where I am?

Z: I'll find you, trust me

E: right, cus you're an Alpha? Must be nice😮‍💨

Z: bc I'm your brother. I could find you in my sleep

E: still. Must be nice being able to depend on instincts that aren't almost exclusive reminders to 'submit, cower and please'😕

Z: can't imagine.

E: ikr. I'm omw tho.

Z: alright. I'll meet you in the middle.

Z: stay on the trail though.

E: yeah yeah, big brother. I hear you. "Good omegas are indoors before the streetlights are on" and all. I know, I know.

Z: lol where'd you hear that?

E: Aunt Faye.

Z: haven't heard from her in a little while. Since New Years, I think

E: she talks to mom a lot. Asks about you, too

Z: I'll have to call and check in.

E: yea. but come get me first :<

Z: lol of course. i'm coming.

[daz4i]

Scenario: Nikolai is suddenly part of the ADA (post this arc? Pre this arc? Maybe this is an ADA AU separate from what has happened so this is a Nikolai that didn't stab the crap out of Atsushi? Idk I am not thinking this out fully, but if you want to go ahead.)

Who does he get along the best with?

Who does he get along the least with?

Who does he get partnered with starting out?

What sort of cases does he prefer?

Inquiring minds want to know your ideas and opinions on an ADA Nikolai 🙏

oooooo a very interesting concept! tbh, i don't think he could last a day there, too many rules :P but theoretically at least!

1. maybe I'm biased and maybe that one post abt clowns and furries sharing a secret language is stuck in my head. but i wanna say he'll like atsushi! or at least think he's really cool, and if in this au he's generally like. better, he will do what he can to help atsushi break free from his trauma and let go of the memories of the orphanage director, i think. pre the accident he'll probably go "hey, you want me to kill that guy for you?" and when kunikida yells at him he'll say it's a joke (but privately make it clear to atsushi it isn't and he can just say the word and it'll happen)

2. speaking of. no way in hell he could get along with kunikida 😭 they might have their moments of intense yet mostly friendly discussions but overall their methods will just clash too much unfortunately. hell on earth for all parties involved

3. turning to the ask i replied a few minutes ago, he and tanizaki would be crazy good as partners, at least technically speaking. but tbh personality wise too! i think tanizaki is chill enough (mostly) to balance nikolai's pep if needed. the only problem is once tanizaki gets murderous bc someone might hurt naomi, nikolai pulls a foam finger from the overcoat and starts cheering him on instead of reeling him back in to avoid, yknow, murder.

4. he's less about solving, i think 🤔 more about saving people from danger directly. given how he does have the whole "releasing people from the prisons of their minds" thing going on, I'd say he has at least some mild need to save people, and fukuzawa might lean into that and assign him this type of cases (ironically i think that means he'll have to work often with kunikida lmao)

that being said. i think he will have some knack to solving crime if he really wanted it. I'm a firm believer he's smarter than he lets on, and is quick at thinking on his feet and choosing the correct course of action to fit the situation, which might translate into being very perceptive very quickly. so if someone like ranpo or dazai isn't available he might be sent off and figure it out too. the problem is he will go after the suspect without telling anyone anything first :P

[neim-batteries-not-included]

random thought i had whilst working on my magic system

this may or may not make sense considering ive said jack shit about my magic system so far but anyway so i didn't want magic to be relied upon heavily for things like medicine- it's used in every day life, but major injuries likely would be treated without it in hospitals (etc etc) and after some thinking about what would work with how this bitch functions i figured that memories would be one of the best options for a cost- and without going on a rant, because thats nOt the point of this hahah, in cases of life saving care being needed nurses performing healing magic run the risk of losing the memory of their education and again without going into details because ill do that later, yknow education is really important to some folks im explaining this poorly but essentially that risk isnt worth it when you're trying to heal a whole bunch of people- its much more likely that you'd just resort to other methods and also this means that things like life saving healing, and other powerful forms of magic, become a massive gesture of love (platonic or romantic) which is pretty cool from a story telling perspective but the point ive taken way too long to make here is if you don't want your magic system to be able to be a sorta "get out of jail free card" (which can actually be interesting in some places because personally i love seeing what people do with that kind of power) have the cost cause the most powerful forms of magic to be a last ditch resort- only to be used in the most dire situations. this is probably common knowledge/really obvious and this post is pARTIALLY TO REMIND MYSELF but yeah have a rant

[crowleys-hips]

i did something similar. i heard him talk about this, and i went, yknow what. i'm not gonna quit. i'm just gonna take a break. if i ever wanna go back, the cigs are there in my drawer. so i told myself, i'll just give it a 3 day break. and then when those days were up i said, ok just a few more days. the cigs are still there, it's ok. then around 3 weeks went by, and i was like, fuck it, i need a cig, so i got one. it made me nauseous. i haven't smoked since.

i also did this with s/h. i used to do it almost every day, and at first when i wanted to quit, i'd throw the blade away. only to get whatever sharp object within reach the next day. so then i kept clean ones, and first aid stuff. i'd still do it, but do it somewhat "responsibly." then i slowly did it less and less, while still keeping everything at hand, just in case the urge and overwhelming self hatred was too much and i caved. eventually -and i mean months and years- i kinda just. didn't do it as often anymore. like maybe a whole month would go by and i wouldn't notice. and then i have no idea how, but then i went whole months without doing it. i never really made it my goal to quit, i just thought to myself "you need to chill for a bit." so i did. eventually. this probably isn't super sound advice or the inspirational speech of the decade, because uh. last time i s/h was like 2 months ago, but before that i had gone about a year without doing it.

i also struggle with alcohol a lot. that's been the hardest one to quit. but i've learned that quitting cold turkey has never worked for me, or even telling myself that i'm gonna quit, because then i'll hyperfocus on not doing the thing, which inevitably makes me think of it more and i end up doing it more. instead, i just tell myself that if i still need it, it's there. but that it's also okay to not do it. that i don't have to listen to all my impulses. but that if i do, it's okay. i don't condemn myself for my instincts anymore, and that's been quite liberating. i still fuck up, but at least i don't hate myself as much as i used to for it.

anyway, that got long, sorry for rambling. that just really struck a chord with me. ok hugs to all bye

What was the biggest lifestyle change you made for health's sake? Was it quitting cigarettes?

In terms of life span, yes, it would have been giving up smoking in 1993.

[kledface]

I just need to get something off my chest cause im confused and i don't know what to do and i don't even know if i should do something and i don't know if im a bad person for this and i feel weird.

To start this off, i struggle to tell the difference for myself between platonic and romantic love, like, i deeply love my friends, but its in a friendly way, but like, its no different from how i would treat my partner, yknow. I struggle to know if there's a difference between the love i have for my friends and the love i have for my partners, but putting the name partners on it makes it feel more defined and it makes me massively stressed and i don't know if thats because of anxiety from my last relationships or if im not relationship material or what. I think my friend is hitting on me and i don't know why and i don't know what to do because like i love her but i dont know if its like that like i definitely wouldn't mind but she's with another one of my friends and granted i think they're both poly i have no idea if he would even be okay with it or if im reading too deep into this and like sure he's got other partners too but i think she's only with him so she could be monogamous and just cool with him being poly like i don't know and i don't get it but she says things in gaelic that are like i love you and my love to me and i dont know if she's being overly friendly or if this really is the case like she doesn't say these things to anyone else that I've seen so maybe its just a really close friendship? But she's also made other comments in other places when i marked that maybe i wished i had someone to cuddle me in a private place and i just wanted to get it off my chest and she made comments that she would totally cuddle me but like, i don't know, i feel dumb for questioning this but i just don't get it and i don't want to hurt her or let her down gods know i dont want to pursue something because im still hurting from the longest relationship i was ever in and im terrified of something like that happening again i'd absolutely hate if she got hurt and i wasn't able to stop it again and we don't even live in the same state as each other so gods know, i didn't want another relationship let alone a long distance one but if she said something i don't think I'd want to say no and its not like a oh this will strain our friendship and let her down thing i genuinely wouldn't mind pursuing something with her but i don't know if its a part of me that is actually interested in her that way or if it would just be for the fuck of it and i hate how confusing it is i just want to understand and i don't want to say something and sound like a self absorbed asshole even though i probably am and i hate that about myself but i also don't want to say nothing and make her feel like im leading her on because i genuinely love her but i don't understand the signals and i don't understand myself and i dont know if i want help i just need to get it out

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

Okay okay, for the ask game, what about 1 and 14 for Emmet and Laventon? Assuming this is an au like oop (or actually oop) where Emmet ends up in Hisui somehow

(character dynamics ask game) ooooh ok!! these two are fun bc they don't get chances to interact... much really at all, in most of my things. like even in oop they juuust missed each other rip. so this is a fun underexplored duo

1. what were A’s first impressions of B? were they mostly correct or have they changed?

i feel like emmet would not be quite as immediately fond of lav as ingo is. not that he dislikes him, just, it takes emmet a little bit longer than that to really decide he likes a person, most of the time. he wants to know that whatever initial impression a person is giving him isn't just empty words! tho i think one thing that would make him more immediately friendly is like, if this is oop-adjacent, hearing ingo talk abt him beforehand/knowing ingo likes him. bc then he does actually know that lav is sincere in his dedication to pokemon and the 'dex and etc. which makes him like him more out of the gate. in general tho i think emmet's like, bad at making very nuanced opinions of ppl, so his first impression is probably not going to go much farther than "seems cool"

on laventon's side otoh. hmm. i think lav is sort of an easily intimidated person and- as we have previously covered- emmet has this sort of absolute confidence and surety and commitment to his own principles that can be pretty intimidating. so lav's initial impression of him is probably along the lines of "this is a person who could and would wreck my shit without needing to lift a finger if he wanted to, and i should be careful abt that." and then he gets to know him better and realizes that most of said principles are along the lines of protecting people and making sure things run smoothly, which takes the edge off a good amount. yes he probably still COULD destroy him, but he probably won't.

14. for two characters that met very recently, how would their dynamic be different (if at all) if they had known each other for much longer? for characters that are childhood/longtime acquaintances, how would it be different if they met for the first time today?

OOF yall keep throwing such fun fic pitches at me. my immediate instinct was to connect this to the other one w/ cyllene, and say that emmet met lav at the same time she did, but that runs into the same problem as cyllene+kamado where i still wouldn't consider that exactly knowing each other a long time. yknow. i realize this is not exactly the point of the question but now i'm just thinking about scenarios... au where they went to school together... anyway tho. hmm. well i think lav would. as above, not be nearly as intimidated by emmet w/ furthered context, but would also probably be much more familiar with his penchant for Committing To A Thing that is inadvisable according to basically everyone else. lav finds out about alphas and is like (thinking) oh god fuck he's going to go hunt down the strongest one he can find just to catch it isn't he.

this also goes into the question of what these two were like when they were younger. esp. laventon, who i don't think i've thought/talked much abt his early life much at all. i mean he's clearly well educated and probably from a well-off family, and i said "went to school together" earlier bc i sort of picture him as having gone to some kind of boarding school situation, but it's also possible that he was taught privately at home. either way i think he didn't have a ton of practical survival experience before hisui. maybe he was even more deeply absorbed in books when he was younger, hardly even considering the practical side of research. so in that case i think emmet would probably be sort of a balance to him. not that emmet HATES reading or anything but he's also very much like. if he has a question abt a pokemon and can't immediately find the answer in a book he's just gonna go check for himself. so they would probably make a pretty good research duo each trying to pull the other in their direction.

it's also very fun for me to imagine them being collaborators, though. it's not exactly canon supported but i still like to think lav invented pokeballs so they could have worked together on that... emmet being the only one who can properly field test their invention bc he can actually hit a target throwing things lmao

[izzysarchivedblogs]

⸻ HE KNOWS HE HAS TO TRY.

Clint has to push some of that angry, that hurt down because he does remember the talk in rehab about how he typically weaponizes THAT. Why does it matter, in a cold tone, like it was a weapon against Tony. HE'S ALREADY RUINED SOME THINGS.

Thirty phones pointed at them, so he knows that many pictures were circulating of the both of them (and a baby) in a bar. Clint had to swallow dry and thickly, not to say further. Risk saying something cruel and undeserving to Tony. HE WANTED ⸺ NEEDED ⸺ HIS HELP.

FIGHTS WITH HIMSELF ⸻ THE URGE TO TURN AWAY. He wanted to drink or sink into the tub, hold his head under water until he absolutely could not hold his breath anymore. It feels raw, wrong to even speak; to fill his mouth with word instead of the liquid destruction he had craved.

⸺ we're fine. Okay? ⸺ He looks over to Brandy playing with her own toys on a towel, nodding his head and humming. It's an acknowledgement, even if he doesn't quite believe that was true.

CLINT'S STILL PRETTY OUT OF IT. That makes it tougher to talk, feels false to even try to articulate when he doesn't feel himself, detached from his body. ❝ Uh, a lot. First, he kind of. . . I felt like a case study; and he said that I wanted to have sex with Kate. And than he said a lot more than that. ❞ That last part about Kate probably made no sense, out of context and even in the context it was insulting.

CLINT'S NOT A FAN OF PSYCHOANALYZING.

There's a lot more that came up. It would be hard to unpack. ❝ And I. . . he messed with my head, I know what that is like. Karla did that, and not in like her powers ways at all. Questioned if I. . . why I was really DOING THIS, if I was being honest. ❞ He means being messed with in that therapy way, but it didn't feel helpful with this therapist. He left therapy confused, hurt, hating himself and blaming himself more than he had been. More than he should be.

⸻ ❝ No, I really think that's true. I'm not. . . I'm not. I know it's true. ❞ He' not anyone; not hawkeye or ronin or goliath or the few other names he's used. THE FEELING'S COMPARABLE TO WHEN HE STARTED. The cops confusing him for the thief (and sure he had been a thief; but not there, not now). No one believed him, and he started to believe what others believed. LIKE NOW.

He felt already not feeling like a hero anymore, when he had ran into two criminals on the street.

❝ I know I did wrong, okay, that I shouldn't have. . . ❞ HE SHRINKS BACK HERE. Telling Tony what was wrong, what had happened. He knows he was why things went wrong. ❝ I saw try sketchy figures I recognized, Fancy Dan and Ox; and I. . . a hero does something, yknow? Hadda follow'em and than I was right; and I- I know I'd get in trouble. . . I didn't even do anything, cause I knew that. But - cops weren't there yet, woman was crying, guy being carried off. . . I'm Hawkeye I should do something, right? ⸻ RIGHT?! ❞ He sounds desparate, like he'd take any answer here. I'M HAWKEYE.

I'M HAWKEYE ⸻ HE'S NO ONE. NOT A HERO ANYMORE.

❝ ⸻ I don't and Fancy Dan walks right past me, thanks me and says I- like I'm in some kind of knowhow ⸺ 'm one of them. . . 'Cause he's not wrong, look at what I did and than I. . . they got away and I did nothing; didn't. . . Cops show up and. . . I'M NOTHING, Y'KNOW. NOBODY ANYMORE. ❞ ⸻ NOT A HERO.

No hope. If wasn't he wasn't Hawkeye than, he was hopeless. No one. NOTHING. Not a hero.

❝ Figure if I'm just not anything, than what's the point? It doesn't matter. ❞ WHAT'S ONE? HE COULD HANDLE ONE DRINK. ⸺ It didn't matter if he drank or not, so why not drink?

Tony lets out a breath. Clint's not exactly talking but there's something happening. He's not fighting Tony. And that's good. Yeah, they were going to need to have a conversation about this later under the realm of Clint being in recovery and Tony being his sponsor. But right now, what Tony was worried about was Clint. Clint was hurting so bad he was disassociating. Clint was hurting so bad he stumbled and nearly did something that for him was self-harm.

Tony continues to massage Clint's head working the shampoo through his hair. "You have nothing to be sorry to me for," he said. "I know this feels a lot less than ideal. But you aren't doing it on purpose and we're fine. Okay? Let's just worry about you."

He started to rinse the suds out of Clint's hair with his hands. So there was something wrong with the therapist. That was fixable and something that Tony had seen coming after their conversation last week. "We'll find you a new therapist. You know therapy can work, so it's just this one that was bad. You want to talk about what was wrong?"

I DON'T THINK I'M A HERO ANYMORE.

There was something else bigger than Kate or a bad therapist. Something actually happened. And given that Clint was already processing killing Bruce and everything that happened in his attempt to get back at red hood, it wouldn't take much to make Clint feel hopeless. "That's not true, Clint. Why don't you tell me what happened. I can't help if I don't know what's wrong."

Tony was really feeling the urge to fight someone right now. He could grab his phone and try and figure out what happened, but if he searched Clint's name right now, he was pretty sure what would come up what some made up stories about the bar incident. Besides, he couldn't trust the news to tell the truth, and he wanted the information to come from Clint. He wanted Clint to open up to him.