#probably a thousand more people I’m missing lol

[desertsquiet]

I love how every time I stumble on another video from this specific concert I recognize someone new on stage. “Hey is that Bonnie Raitt doing backup vocals? Hey is that James Burton playing guitar”. Yes, it most certainly is. Anyway the vibe is unmatched and I was smiling the WHOLE time

[ghouly-boiiiii]

A Light in the Dark 🕯️

Chapter 1: Throwing Stones

Lucy x Cooper Howard / The Ghoul

In this chapter...

To her horror, the rock shot straight forward and bounced off the back of The Ghoul’s head.

She threw her hands up in front of her. “I’m sorry! I-I didn’t mean to hit you! Please, don’t…”

“Don’t worry…” To her surprise, his voice was gentle and unthreatening. “I ain’t gonna do nothin’ to hurt cha’… But…” The Ghoul kneeled down and picked up a rock, then looked up at her and threw it in her direction.

She watched as fell to the ground at her feet.

“Huh… I missed.” He shrugged with an odd smile, then turned back around and kept walking.

Next Chapter >>>

Summary: Takes place directly after the end of Season 1. As they begin their journey, Lucy is understandably very angry and fearful towards the Ghoul. She hates him, and is only joining him because she wants answers. He, however, is harboring secret feelings for Lucy ever since she saved his life. Having not been with anyone since Barb, and believing she would never feel the same, the bounty hunter has to deal with these feelings on his own. Little does he know, Lucy finds herself having inexplicable feelings for him as well, and struggling to make sense of them.

Tags: Slow Burn, Romance, Angst, Enemies to Lovers, Casual Sex Lucy and No Wait Let Me Court You Cooper, Cooper is touch-starved and rusty in bed, He's also self-conscious about his body, Ghoul channels old romantic Cooper, Lucy is confused by strange surface dweller mating customs, She helps him discover his old self, He helps her discover her true self, Did I mention there would be angst

Rating: Mature - Word Count: 1,742

SPOILER WARNING: Contains all the spoilers. No trigger warnings except eventual sexy time with a zombie man and lots of angst.

Authors Note: This fic starts out somewhat similar to my other fic, My Name Is Cooper, because it starts directly after the end of the season. They have similar conversations at first, but the tone is much different and the story goes in a completely different direction. This one is more serious (still with some humor though, of course), and is probably going to be longer. I really wanted to do a more realistic, slow burn romance. I know there's a ton out there already, but I wanted to do my own version because idk, reasons I guess lol. But I really wanted to dive deep into how these two navigate their relationship and the very complicated feelings they might have for each other. This is what you might call another free-writing project, so I don't know *exactly* where it's gonna go, but I will do my best to make sure it has a decent ending when the time comes! Inspired by the cool peeps on Discord and touch-starved Cooper headcanons lol.

Lucy felt the cool night air fill her lungs as she took a deep breath and tried to still her mind. It was silent. Nothing but the soft crunch of leaves and dirt under their feet, and perhaps the occasional frog or cricket.

The vault dweller looked out at the distance before them. A fog rose up from the earth, illuminated by the faint glow of a thousand lights that mirrored the stars above. She was in awe, even thinking that it was beautiful. But it was only a distraction from all the pain and confusion she felt.

Her whole world had turned upside down. Nothing was as she believed it was. Nothing was as it seemed. Everything she thought she knew had crumbled into dust within a matter of minutes. She was numb. Overwhelmed. Everything felt surreal. And now she found herself once again alone… with him. 

As Lucy stared ahead at his silhouette in the darkness, she felt nothing but disdain. The young vault dweller was taught to forgive and forget. But she was fairly certain the people who taught her that were never fed to a giant salamander or tied up by their neck and dragged around a desert or sold for organs. How could she possibly forgive, let alone forget, such horrible things that were done to her?

She couldn’t. But she had to stuff down her feelings and let it go… for now. 

“So… where are we going?” Lucy finally asked. They must have been walking for at least thirty minutes at this point. And he hadn’t looked back even once, only reacting to the dog when she came up to him, and even then with barely more than a glance. Lucy wasn’t even sure if he knew she was still following him anymore.

The Ghoul didn’t answer right away. He waited a moment, before he took a breath and said, “Can’t say for sure yet… but looks like yo’ daddy might be headed for New Vegas.”

“...That’s a town?” 

“Big town.” 

“Okay…” Lucy took a deep breath. The conversation seemed to be going… okay so far. “So…  what’s in this town? Why do you think he’d want to go there?”

The Ghoul didn’t answer.

The vault dweller swallowed hard. She wanted to push, but she knew she had to be cautious. “How do you know my father? Are you going to tell me?”

The bounty hunter seemed to be ignoring her.

She huffed. He was so rude. So rude and inconsiderate and unaccommodating, it sickened her. Maybe if she started with something simpler… “Okay, so… do you got like a… name or something?”

Again, nothing.

Lucy frowned, her tone getting exasperated. “I’m just… wondering what I should call you… You really not gonna answer that either?”

“I don’t give a good goddamn what you call me.” He snapped, sounding a bit angry.

Lucy fell silent and her throat got tight, a bit of fear rising in her. She truly didn’t know what kind of madness compelled her to follow this man, after everything he did to her. She was hypervigilant about his every movement. Knowing that at any moment, he could turn around and try to do... something to her. 

With her hand on her pistol, she kept her distance. This one, armed with actual bullets. She wasn’t sure if it would do much, but it was something. 

Truly, every fiber of her being told her to get as far away from this… creature as she humanly could, but…

He had answers. And so did whoever they were going to find. She needed those answers. There was no question about it. Sure, she could just turn around and go home. Go back to her life in the Vault with Norm and Chet and Stephanie and everyone else. But she would never be able to live with herself. Those questions would never stop haunting her. She would never stop feeling compelled to seek the truth. Lucy knew this about herself, and her body acted almost automatically as she took one step in front of the other behind those of this two-hundred year old cowboy. 

“Look… you don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to. Obviously, we’re not friends. But if we’re going to be working together… we need to at least communicate effectively...”

The Ghoul was silent for a moment, then finally responded, “Well, then… I got a question for you , Vaulty.”

“...Okay?”

“What happened to the doctor?”

“...The doctor?”

“Yeah. How’d he end up with no head?” This time, he did turn his head slightly, although not enough to see her. “...Who cut it off?”

"Uhh... Well, uh... I-I did..." Lucy's eyes fell to the ground.

"You did?" The bounty hunter said in surprise.

“Uhh… well…” She swallowed hard, as she remembered the task. She’ll never forget having to cut off someone’s head for the first time… and, well… hopefully, the last. “He asked me to.”

“He asked you to cut off his head?” This time, he did look back at her, peering over his shoulder questioningly with a raised brow.

“Yes… he… he took cyanide and told me… He told me it would be easier… if I just… brought his head…” 

The Ghoul turned to face ahead of him, then just said, “Huh…”

There was silence for a moment, before he asked another question. “What about the Super Duper Mart? What'd you do in'ere?”

Lucy blinked, then narrowed her eyes at him, flustered by the fact that he would ask that, considering he put her in that situation. “...Why do you wanna know?”

“Curious, I guess.” The Ghoul said simply. "It's just kinda funny... what with all that 'Golden Rule' talk, how many people seem ta' end up dead 'round you."

“It was an accident!" The vault dweller quickly retorted. “I didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt... I just…" She paused and looked down at the ground somberly, remembering Martha. "They... they were holding all those people captive… I... I couldn’t just leave them there…”

“You mean those ghouls?”

“They’re people. Maybe they have a condition, but they’re still people..." She snapped, then added under her breath. "Unlike you...” 

Dangit. That was not a good thing to say. Lucy bit her tongue, hoping he didn't hear.

She swallowed hard and tried to play it off. “But I did have to kill some of them. So, you know…” She said, trying to sound confident in her ghoul-killing skills. "I'd, uh... watch out... if I were you."

"Heh. Well, good for you, Vaulty." He snickered. “…Anyways, how did you get the–”

“Now! Now, hold on!” Lucy said, holding up a bluish-grey finger. “If you get to ask me things, I get to ask you things.” She lifted her head a bit higher. “A question for a question. That’s only fair.”

The Ghoul peered over his shoulder at her again for a moment as he continued to walk, then turned back. “Alright.”

“Yeah… so…” She looked down at the ground and exhaled, then back up with determination in her eyes. “So I get to ask you—”

“Two questions.”

“Five.” 

“Five?” 

“That’s right. You technically asked me five questions. Actually, six.”

“Well, that don’t sound quite fair to me, Vaulty.” He said with a smirk. “I asked you two questions. The rest were for clarification. They don’t count.” 

She huffed in dismay. It was worth a try, she thought.

He chuckled. “Tell you what. You can ask me however many questions you want. But I get to pick which ones I answer.”

“No! That’s not fair! I answered the questions you asked me, now you’re gonna answer mine.”

“Well, you didn’t have to answer my questions. That was your choice.”

“What!? I–” She huffed, unsure how to counter that.

“Alright… question for a question.” The bounty hunter said, raising his voice, and two fingers.  "You got two. Have at it, sweetheart.”

The vault dweller jumped, then quickly ran up closer, but still stayed a few feet behind him. Out of arms reach. “...Name?”

“Pass.”

“How do you know my dad?”

“Hard pass.”

She huffed. “This isn’t fair.”

“And what is, darlin'?” He scoffed, holding his arm out beside him. “What in God’s Green Earth made you think that anything in the wasteland is ever fucking fair? It’s every man for himself out here, sweetheart. Thought you might’ve figured that out by now.”

Lucy growled, and as she momentarily lost her cool, she kicked a rock in front of her. To her horror, it shot straight forward and bounced off the back of The Ghoul’s head.

He froze, and she took a sharp gasp. Oh, no… now she’d done it.

As she watched The Ghoul slowly turn around to face her, she threw her hands in front of her. “I’m sorry!” She said in a panic. “I-I didn’t mean to hit you! Please, don’t…”

The old bounty hunter stood there and just stared at her a moment. “Don’t worry…” His face was in shadow, but she could see the gleam in his eyes. To her surprise, his voice was gentle and unthreatening. “I ain’t gonna do nothin’ to hurt cha’…” 

Lucy rose her head and lowered her arms a little, relaxing somewhat.

“But…” The Ghoul kneeled down and picked up a rock from the ground. He tossed it in his hand once, then stood, looked up at her, and threw it in her direction.

She watched as it weakly flew towards her, then fell to the ground at her feet.

“Huh… I missed.” He shrugged with an odd smile, then turned back around and kept walking. 

She looked up at The Ghoul and raised an eyebrow before she continued to follow, wondering what the hell that was all about.

“One thang you gotta learn, Vaulty…” He said, raising his voice commandingly. “Caps ain’t the only form of money up here. Everything you have is potential currency. That includes information.” He said. “You see, that Golden Rule a yer’s only works if other people agree with it. Now that might be all peachy down in your vault, but up here, you don’t wanna be givin’ nothin’ away unless you know you gettin’ somethin’ in return. If you don’t do that, you’ll be eaten alive out here.”

“So… You’re giving me survival lessons now?”

“Yeah… I guess I am.” He said as he turned to smile at her, then tipped his hat up with a single finger. “...But those you can have for free.”

To be continued...

Next Chapter >>>

[slytherinshua]

HOME

genre. fluff. joshua as a dad. warnings. kissing. there's a toddler lol is that a warning? pairing. joshua x fem!reader. wc. 795.

The time Joshua got off work was always the most anticipated time of the day, both for you and your almost two-year-old daughter, Hyeja. She was a daddy’s girl in every sense of the word. She would always choose Joshua over you which you had always found highly amusing. 

Due to the uncertain hours of Joshua’s job, you could never say “Dad will be back home at 5” like other mothers could, and Hyeja hated the absence of Joshua more than you did— and you always missed him like crazy when he was gone. 

The whole day had been a bit rough for both of you. Your daughter had been grumpy throughout and only wanted pretzels and her father, only one of which you could provide to her. 

You could barely text with Joshua either, since he was currently promoting Seventeen’s new album on music shows and was probably on stage whenever you thought about texting him. You just hoped he would be able to get home before dinnertime like he had hoped, but even that was uncertain.

You finally had time to breathe after you managed to read enough stories to Hyeja to wear her out for her afternoon nap that she desperately needed. All the crying and temper-tantrums she had thrown over Joshua not being here had worn her out. She was now sleeping in her nursery, giving you a chance to think about what you should eat for dinner while you waited for Joshua. 

When he walked through the door shortly after 4:30, face as radiant and gorgeous as ever, you felt relieved. He looked as tired as you, but the satisfied smile on his face didn’t leave, so you could only assume that the promotions went well.

“Hey-” You shushed him quickly, eyes glancing over to the nursery door and Joshua got the picture.

“Sleeping?” He whispered, taking off his coat as quietly as he could. You nodded and patted the spot next to you on the couch which Joshua took eagerly. He placed his arm around you, pulling you closer to his chest.

“Was your day as exhausting as mine?” You asked as your hand clasped his.

He shook his head, “Probably not. Was she upset?”

You laughed softly, “Just a bit. She kept asking when you would be getting back, and of course I couldn’t give her an answer. She cheered up a bit when I agreed to get ice cream, but gosh- she barely let me rest for a second.”

Joshua giggled at the thought of his precious 2 year old missing him that much. “Well, I’m back now… How long has she been sleeping?”

“About half an hour, so she’ll probably wake up soon.”

“I’ll wait for her then.” Joshua mumbled, relaxing his body and pulling you closer to hug. It was rare to have a moment of silence like this with a toddler in the household, especially during daylight hours.

“Don’t worry about Hyeja and I while you’re out there being an idol.” You murmured into Joshua’s chest. Your hand travelled up to his face, brushing his hair out of his face and tracing his jawline like you liked to do occasionally. It was a sort of mindless admiration for the man who you loved, taking the time to appreciate how perfect he was.

“It’s hard to not worry…” He closed his eyes, “You two are the most precious people in my life.”

“Know that we’ll always be okay over here, even when you’re thousands of miles away touring.” You kissed his cheek before continuing, “Sometimes I feel so bad because balancing being a father and your job probably adds about 3 times the amount of stress from what you had before.” 

“But I’m 30 times happier.” Joshua’s lips formed a smile and he opened his eyes. “So don’t worry about me either. I’m fine.” He leaned over, pressing his lips to yours and kissing you for a long time to try to make up for the hours he had been away from you. 

Soon the creek of the door interrupted your cuddling, and an adorable 2 year old emerged from behind the door soon after. She looked groggy, rubbing her eyes with her small fists before looking up to you. You saw in real time how her eyes widened with excitement upon seeing Joshua sitting on the couch with you.

“Daddy!!” She shouted, running up to the couch and Joshua picked her up quickly, laughing and pressing kisses to her cheek.

“Did you miss me, baby?” She nodded fervently in response, throwing her arms around Joshua and hugging herself to him as tight as she could. “Aww…” Joshua closed his eyes, hugging her closely and stroking her hair, “I missed you so much, princess.”

↳ svt taglist: @kangtaehyunzzz,, @yeonjuns-bluehair,, @syrxiee2,, @ddenoudepression,, @hannahsophie0103

[tenrousei-kuroi]

Wait, wait— so you write the most wicked Starcest smut I’ve ever seen AND you’re also just a super knowledgeable and insightful person when it comes to the series, fandom history and literature?? I’m obsessed! I just read through your page and you just seem like the kind of person I could listen to talk about their interests for hours, haha. I was curious, as someone whose been in the Starcest fandom for so long do you read alot of fanfics yourself? Do you have any recommendations— any favorites or current fixations? I’d love to see what tickles your brain 😊❤️

Nice to meet you! I'm always thrilled to find people who vibe with my particular brand of weirdness, and I love chatting! So feel free to ping me or email me whenever. And thank you for being so sweet! ʚ♡⃛ɞ(ू•ᴗ•ू❁)

Once upon a long time ago I remember keeping most of my stuff to myself, cluttering up my hard drive but never getting posted anywhere, because I was convinced there just couldn't be that many people besides me who'd want to read it. Holy mackerel was I wrong! Honestly I'm still working through the backlog, there's a lot of stuff just hiding out in random folders on old laptops of mine, lol.

Shockingly I'll actually read much more than just Sirius/Regulus, it's just that The Boys(tm) are the only pairing that holds my attention enough for me to sit down and write most of the time.

I've pulled up some of the "old school" Sirius/Regulus shenanigans I couldn't tear my eyes from as a kid. And I tried to pull ones that I haven't mentioned on here as much, so hopefully they're "new" recs. I added the links if I could find them...though it appears that LiveJournal is now requiring a login to view a lot of these nowadays...and in revisiting some of them I realized that my own LJ has finally been purged by the website lol. Fifteen years of breaking their TOS by posting incestuous underage smutfics and it was the crime of not logging in for two years that finally did me in, I'm laughing so hard!

Tenkuroi's Nostalgic Recs List:

"Untitled (O Tannenbaum)" Forsanethaec

"And in the grave I see thee beast" Forsanethaec

"A Fortnight Dead" Forsanethaec

"Idle Threat" Sabethea

"The Very Dead of Winter" Spessartine

"Liturgy" Spessartine

"Opus" Spessartine (there used to be a wonderful Spanish translation of this hanging around but I can't find it back!)

"The Sun Burst Through in Unlooked For Directions" Spessartine

"Some Ways of Having Loving" Marseverlasting

"Brilliance" DeathJunkE

And then there's this masterpiece that I saved to my computer probably 12+ years ago...but I didn't write down who wrote it! Or even the title (teenage me wasn't the most forward-thinking). And it seems to have completely disappeared from the internet. It was a LiveJournal user, that's all I remember. But I positively love this fic! So much that I basically copied it when I wrote Ticigi's fic for HP Cest Fest 2022.

And of course "A Thousand Year's Good Wine", which is my personal white whale that I will likely go to my grave never reading again, lol. Every year I feel like I get closer and closer to forgetting just what about it was so special...

If we yank my brain out of 2010 and fast forward to today, I feel like there's a lot more delicious Sirius/Regulus to be had. Once upon a time, there was literally not a single Sirius/Regulus fic I hadn't read. If it was on Ao3, FF.net, LJ, IJ, or someone's personal blog, I'd seen it. Every Google results page for "Sirius/Regulus" had been carefully combed through. But today? I'm sure I'm missing a lot that's around. I'm not even caught up fully on Ao3 at the moment, and that's saying something! There's so much more to choose from now, although there has also been a noticeable shift in tone, and something of a trade-off, I feel.

A lot (by which I mean almost all) of older Sirius/Regulus was canon-compliant, and it was rare to find anything that didn't end with Reggie dead. (A notable exception would be earthphoenix and esc_azkaban's Sirius/Regulus/Severus fics,) So for those who like me want to indulge in pretending he made it out okay--or at least partake in some canon-divergence--this is the decade to be living in, lol.

However, RegulusLives! aside, we don't see nearly as much of the pretentious, purple-soaked goodness that saturated LJ and InsaneJournal back in the day. If only the past and present could meet somewhere in the middle! (ﾉ｀Д´)ﾉ

This might be confusing to some people but I'm also always down for some platonic Sirius|Regulus and the fastest way to obsess me is to write a fic where Sirius somehow ends up with custody of his brother. I think Riakida did a fic like that a year or two back that I fell in love with pretty quickly.

And we have so many longfics now! Sirius/Regulus never used to be the kind of pairing that got more than a one-shot (blame Reggie's death lol). So part of me is still getting used to finding my OTP in fics that I can actually follow and look forward to updates and such... "we could swim inside these crowds" by waitforthespark is one I've been following for awhile now. (Updates probably seem slow to everyone but me, the reigning champion of going literal years between chapters on my own fics.)

I'm curious, what drew you to the madness my stuff and similar works? Do you write as well, or just read? Any amazing gems you've come across in your wanderings?

[apt502-if]

First off I just wanna say that this is one of my favorite IFs of all time, to the point where I’d check tumblr daily just in case I accidentally missed a notification. When the demo finally dropped I probably played through it ten thousand times. So what I’m about to say is equal parts affectionate teasing and genuine curiosity. With all that said-

Wtf is up with these names lol? Like, what was the thought process behind naming the hottest RO… Rainn. Like who names their kid Rainn? Or Atlas, or Callioppe? Did you just spin a wheel and pick whatever name it landed on? Did you look up unique names in a baby book? I mean, they’re not unheard of but they’re certainly uncommon lmao. Also how tf is somebody named Mona gonna be a pain in our ass lmao? Go back to the 1950s you weirdo 😭

All jokes aside, I do love the entire cast and I really am curious to hear the thought process behind the names. Naming things is the hardest part of being a writer to me, to the point where I spend literal hours just trying to find the perfect name lol.

Thanks so much! I'm flattered you love the IF that much :}} I hope you like what I have coming next.

& HAHA. Okay yeah. They are very unconventional, especially Rainn. I really love unique names and as someone who has one pet with a very basic animal name and no kids, I don't have a lot of opportunities to name things LOL and I did lean into that funny New York thing where people are named Apple and like....Ivory and stuff LOL

Rainn is unique because of their parents, so that has a narrative purpose. The roommates + f!G have Greek names aside from L, who has a trendy stylish name that suits them and their career. It's short and spunky, but it's modern (to me). Levi and Lani feel very forward and very stage-nameesque.

As for Mona/Mason, I really liked the name Mona and I knew I wanted to use it so I searched for male names that sounded similar :PPPPP

But yeah. I chose names I really like that are unique because why not? The story is so normal and it's a slice of life so it's grounded in so much realism so it was nice to give them spunky names.

I'm glad you like it! Can't wait to show you more!

[not-poignant]

Does Mephistopheles regularly beat all of his Cambion children? Or does he just particularly enjoy hurting Raphael? Or does he specifically find himself having to put Raphael in his place more often than the others?

Feel free not to answer if it’s too spoilery. I’m just curious. The Devil family dynamics are fascinating.

There's some indications that Mephistopheles raped so many women that he has like hundreds of cambion sons and has killed most of them. So that's the lore I'm going with, because that's fun for me, the idea that he just has this endless supply of weak (by fiend standards) sons that he can make do his bidding and torment whenever he likes.

I think Raphael's a bit special (like a few of his sons are), in the sense that he did actually genuinely rise to power, he is very intelligent, and he has secured the House of Hope which is strategically a very significant waypoint for Zariel, and therefore affords him more status than a (Ascended pit fiend) cambion would generally have. I would say that of the surviving cambion sons, he was the most powerful, and had been for some time. That along with Raphael's loyalty is the only reason why Mephistopheles deigned to resurrect him in the first place, he hasn't offered that to any of his other sons, who are just like...dead and/or lemures.

I don't think Mephistopheles regularly beats all his children, in fact I think he's as patchy with the concept of fatherhood as he is with all of his projects. But I do think he has a tangible enjoyment from tormenting Raphael, and I think Raphael doesn't do a great deal to discourage him, because it means he often gets away with other activities that like...his father underestimates him for / thinks he's incapable of.

Mephistopheles needs some of what Raphael supplies to him (particularly funds, most fiends don't care a very great deal about gold or wealth or anything like that. All wealth is measured in souls and the acquisition of souls, and they often need wealth to do that, but, only some are personally interested in attaining that wealth. Raphael is very good at securing gold / gems / capital for manipulating greater populations of people, so he therefore directly funds a lot of his father's 'projects' which means for thousands of years, Mephistopheles hasn't had to bother learning how to do that himself. Which makes him more kind of semi-dependent on what Raphael does for him.

He's been betrayed by at least one of his sons before, and very significantly, so I think he never misses an opportunity to both remind Raphael of his place, and get some enjoyment out of what he's doing re: hurting him. But I also think Raphael benefits from Mephistopheles thinking of him as some poetry-obsessed Faerun gadabout and assuming he's not capable of more than that).

Idk I have a lot of thoughts about those two, I do think Raphael is not above using himself as bait for example, to get enough soul coins to essentially rebuild the boundaries of the House of Hope and get his appetite quenched again. I think he also believes Mephistopheles won't come after him, because M is ultimate ADHD archduke - hyperfixated on a project and loses track of things very quickly (like literally, that's canon). I also think M doesn't want to visit Avernus and he doesn't want to lose the House of Hope so he'll probably grumble and kill some cornugons about it once he finds out, and then settle down lol.

[eveningspirit]

Hi! Just finished the Pitt and I started watching ER because I missed Noah Wyle. I’m having Thoughts and Feelings about season 1 rn. Who are your fave characters?

Hai. Thanks for the ask. :)

If you're asking about ER, I watched it ten thousand years ago, and don't remember a lot. I may have been a little in love with Carter, though. ;)

As for The Pitt, I'm a little obsessed with Langdon. I like his self-confidence, focus and yes, his sense of humor too. What can I say, I like people who can find a reason to laugh even in dire circumstances. I think when he's teasing others, he's trying to laugh with them, not at them--that's a big difference. And he can hold his own against more aggressive players, like Garcia. He's perceptive; I think he easily notices things about other people, like whether they are sensitive, overconfident, need some uplifting or guidance, or to be knocked down a peg. And he's enthusiastic about medicine. That's beautiful. :)

I love Mel too. Mel is me, lol. I have never clicked with an autistic, or an autistic-coded character before. Most of them made me cringe. Maybe because they were usually male? Or maybe they were badly written? I don't know. Mel is fantastic. I love that she's not just socially awkward and overthinks a lot. What's more important is that she loves what she's doing. She has that hyperfocus and knowledge and even confidence in her skills as a doctor.

This is what I mostly appreciate about the relationship between Mel and Langdon--that shared enthusiasm, the pure joy of being able to find what's failing in a human body and fix it.

Other than those two, I adore Dana, admire Mohan and find McKay very fun to watch. I'm not very invested in Dr. Robby himself, even though he has some characteristics I usually find interesting. I rarely fall for main characters, though, so it's probably that. Same with Collins. The youngsters too, they are cute, and I cheer for them to come into their own, but that's about it.

Oh, Trinity. Yeah, she is a very interesting character, imo. I love what the actress is doing with her. She's phenomenal. Trinity herself, well, I'm curious to see where all that will go. For now she's terrible, but feels a little too much like a caricature. Although, yeah, I know people like that exist for real and that's terrible. My brain just doesn't want to really think about that.. ;) She's fictional, that's why I'm curious rather than hate-y.

What about you? Who are your favorite characters?

[marsssbarrrr]

Abandoned Buildings

Koro Sensei [Ryushi Korogane] x Assassin!Experimented!Reader

Had this idea for a while, just rewatched Ass.Class and thought I’d write it. 100% SFW don’t worry lol (I don’t write a lot of NSFW)

Synopsis: You met the infamous Reaper on an assassination job. Things…happened from there.

—

This was his apartment. The infamous “Reaper”.

He’d taken out your client’s son, and his grandson had since gone missing.

Personally, you didn’t care much. So what? The snot-nosed kid probably saw his dad get taken out. He was either running and hiding or the Reaper had taken him out too.

What the Reaper did wasn’t really your business. He was an assassin. A professional. Your were the same. Money is Money, though. And with the amount this guy was paying you, there wasn’t really room to refuse.

No one really knew anything about the Reaper. But to you, that only made this job more exciting.

You were a pretty techy girl. A city’s security cameras and a few quick firewalls broken through and his info was yours. He wasn’t very tech savvy, not the way you were.

You were now the only individual in all of Japan who knew where he holed up between jobs. The place was rundown. People in the other rooms dealing and doing drugs had no effect on you. You’d seen worse, seen much more sketchy.

His apartment was on the 3rd floor. You were perched up on the building adjacent, across the street. His black out curtains were drawn, but that did little to hide the small boy peeking through. Probably the grandson, you thought. Your client had paid a decent amount of money, and had an extra couple thousand waiting if you brought him back safe and sound.

Something clicked behind you. The roof access door. Shit.

You swing around, reaching for the knife in your thigh holster. But he was quicker. In seconds your front side was pinned against the wall near your spot, your sniper was abandoned and your knife clattered against the floor. The right side of your face burned against the rough material of the wall, and your neck was tense from the harshness of the impact. You could see his face.

He held your hands behind your back, knee between your legs and his right hand holding a gun to your back.

“And who might you be, sweet cheeks?”

You gritted your teeth. Damn it.

The man chuckled.

“Y/N.” You responded. “And who in the hell are you?”

He smiled. “I have a feeling you know exactly who I am.”

…fuck. The Reaper.

“Listen, hon. You’re good. Nobody’s ever been able to find me out the way you did. Place is under an old targets name and… well, you probably know the rest.”

You did. His money was dirty, and he likely was using the boy inside as either a decoy. He was good.

“Who sent you?”

He dug the gun harder into your back, his index finger firm against the trigger.

You stayed silent.

“Fine, then.” He smile turned to a dark smirk. “I have no trouble turning to torture tactics. This area is pretty sketchy, so no one will question this.”

He moved the gun down, shooting you through the thigh. You groaned, stifling a scream. The gun was moved up to your back again.

“Tell me who sent you, and I won’t have to waste your pretty face.”

You sighed. “You killed my targets son. Took his grandkid. He didn’t tell me his name, paid me a fuckton to bring him your body.”

“Huh. Shoulda figured.”

He stepped back, letting go of you and scratching his head with the barrel of his gun. You moved quickly, snatching up your knife and shoving him to the ground. His gun clattered to the right and you held the knife against his throat.

“Listen. Personally, I don’t give a crap what you do or who your targets do. Honestly, you did some pretty good work with that guy. But this is a lot of money, and I need it.”

He didn’t even struggle. Just laughed.

“Oh, I like you, sweet cheeks. Listen, how’s about you come work for me instead? I’m no good with all that technology crap and I can do a whole lot more for you than that old rich guy can. Just fine me his info.”

You clenched your teeth again. “What’s in it for me?”

“Warm food on the table. Companionship. Better compensation from clients when word gets out you’re workin’ with the Reaper.”

You pulled the knife away after a moment. Fine. You’d play his game.

“L/N. Y/N L/N.”

You helped him up.

“Ryushi Korogane.”

—

You banged your fist against the glass. Damn it. This was supposed to be a quick job. In and out. You should’ve known. The compensation was suspiciously high, the target to insignificant. Ryushi knew it was fishy but you’d insisted. And now here you were. Rooms away from him and stuck in some glass holding space. An Experiment, you’d been told.

That’s all you were now. A test subject.

From what you could find out, Ryushi was undergoing the same “treatments” you were. Tentacle Serum injected into the back of your neck. It had been months now. Assholes.

You hadn’t seen him. After months you’d learned to love the goofy pervert, and you’d gotten engaged shortly before the little shit you’d learned to love betrayed you. They’d taken your ring, the necklace Ryushi had stood for you, and all your clothes. A white sweater and sweatpants adorned your now frail body. They gave you the bare minimum in the form of nutrients, and it did little to keep you steady these days.

Yukimura walked through the door.

“Y/N. Good to see you.” You didn’t quite trust her. The way she talked about Ryushi rubbed you the wrong way. You’d lived your whole life reading people and you could tell. She liked him.

“Yukimura. My food, please?”

“Listen.” She started, pushing the button to get you your stale food and bottled water. “They’re transferring you. A new facility. They need to separate you and the Korogane. The two of you are due to combust March 13.”

You dropped the water, head spinning. Spiked.

When you collapsed, alarms started ringing. A message came over the over-com. Ryushi was out.

That’s all you heard before the world went black.

—

You fast as you could up the mountain. He was here, you knew it. You’d found him. Class 3-E, Yukimura’s old class.

You’d escaped your facility days after the one you’d formerly been held captive was destroyed by Ryushi. After months, eight to be exact, you’d finally found him. The government officials weren’t hard to beat answers out of.

Your tentacles sprouted from your neck, pulling you faster.

All the color had been sucked from your body. You were an ugly gray color, your hair a lighter color of pale white. Your body hadn’t changed much physically, other than color and tentacles. You briefly wondered what had happened to him.

You stopped short. The class building.

It was Wednesday. Almost 10pm. Abandoned, except for him.

You panted. You didn’t have supersonic speed like he apparently had. You couldn’t smell like he could or see. But that was hardly an issue for you.

Something snapped behind you.

“Hey there, sweet cheeks.”

You spun around. It was him

“Ryushi.”

—

Might make a part two is someone asks for it. But for now, this is all :)

[wyntereyez]

GalaxyCon

I should probably post about GalaxyCon before I forget everything, huh? 

My first day was Saturday and I. Was not prepared. Most of the cons I’ve attended are fandom-specific, and can draw large crowds, but nothing compared to this. According to a news article the next day, there were some 50,000 attendees.

I’d originally only planned to go Saturday, but then Colin’s panel was announced for Sunday, so I got another ticket for then. Saturday was spent beating my way through the crowds (or, more accurate, being beaten) - and getting my photo op with Colin.

It’s been four years since I’d last seen him at Enchanted 2, and damn, he looked amazing. The op was brief, because they do thousands of photos in one day, so I barely had time to do more than say ‘hi’ and ‘thank you.’ He thanked me for coming, and at that point I remembered just how blue his eyes were, and how lovely that Irish brogue is, since it’s currently very thick after being in Ireland for so long. Yup, I still swoon for Colin.

I didn’t get an autograph, but a friend did, and I hung around in line with her until were almost to Colin. His line was so long, it wrapped into the next aisle. I’m not sure the staff anticipated his popularity. And while I was in line, someone told Colin how long his line was, and he gave a little “Yeah!” and put up his arms.

Then we have the Sunday panel. I’m trying to remember as much as I can, but I know I’ll miss things. I’ll put it under a cut, since this is starting to run long.

First of all, kudos to the panel moderator, who helped rephrase questions and guide Colin so he could follow strike rules. That can’t have been easy, so good on GalaxyCon for being prepared and still being able to give us a great panel experience.

Colin was introduced as that actor from That Show, and That Other Show, and That One Movie, etc. At some point, OUAT became ‘The Thing,’ and now I want to embrace that as the show’s alternate title. Also, that would be an awesome crossover.

Anyway... We got a brief introduction, and Colin talked about how hot it was (it had been well over 90 degrees, with a Real Feel of over a hundred, on the day he arrived) and how he’d chosen to wear a suit jacket over his t-shirt and had Regrets.

He apologized for if he was difficult to understand, because he knew how thick his accent was, but someone yelled out they loved it, which he then said was why he brought it up, because he wanted people to say that.

He also said he was doing the panel because he liked having people tell him how great he was, to which the moderator had the entire crowd yell out, “You’re great!”

Then we got to the most bizarre mix of questions I’ve ever heard, and it was wonderful. Things we learned included:

- Colin owns 30 guitars, one of which belonged to Ringo Starr. He has another one that belonged to someone famous, but I can’t remember whom

- If he were a dog breed, he’d be a black Labrador retriever mix

- If he were a comic book superhero (the comic part is very important) he’d want to be Batman. He wanted to be Superman once, but now he wants to be Batman. He earned a blue candy for this, which he promptly put in his mouth with predictable results. Dude, don’t eat candy when you know you’re gonna have questions, LOL.

- Voice acting roles aren’t taboo, so he talked a bit about how different it was to voice Douxie, and how different it was to do dialogue in a booth because he had to be more dynamic rather than speak normally. He also at one point did a bit of Gerry the Leprechaun for us.

- Colin was asked about his feelings on ‘Rise of the Titans.’ He said he enjoyed it, then said he trusted the writers to know what’s best for the characters. I’m not sure if that’s how he really felt, or if he’s just being careful.

- If he were two scoops of ice cream, he’d be pistachio and vanilla - the real vanilla, with the bean.

- He likes pineapple on pizza. He will accept no criticism of this.

- If that one character with the thing on his hand had a dog breed, it would be a black Labrador retriever mix.

- Something he did for The Thing was play INXS’s ‘Need You Tonight’ and did a little strut while wearing the coat. Colin demonstrated. I died.

- When asked what comic villain he would want to be, he said the Joker. This earned him a green candy. He ate it, though he also said he didn’t care for the candy. Colin, why.

- If he could have one mythical creature as a pet, it would be Cerberus. But the heads would be black Labrador retriever mixes. I’m starting to think Colin really loves his dog.

- At one point, Colin said he was having a lot of trouble with this, and that he was worried he’d say the wrong thing. The panel mod assured him that he was doing well. I felt bad for him, because yeah, this can’t have been easy.

- Colin was asked what his most ridiculous phobia is. Colin answered that he fears NOTHING. Except panels.

- When asked if he still talks to people from The Thing, he said a very firm but teasing NO - then proceeded to list a number of people that he does, in fact, talk to.

- Then there’s the beard... at the end of the panel, he said he can’t talk about it, but there’s a reason he has the ‘stupid beard.’ He really doesn’t like it, and it’s kind of hilarious that thanks to the strike, he’s kinda stuck with it for an indeterminate period of time.

And that’s all I remember. If you have more, please add to this post!

[tomfoolies]

the tomja timeline: director's cut, extended edition, way too long of an overview of our relationship development

gonna make a preface here before we begin: suspend your disbelief, 100%. is this actually viable? only at certain times, mostly no. it's unrealistic, out of character for multiple characters, and makes plot holes the sizes of entire continents. i'm not saying that in a self-depricating way, it is literally impossible to add another character that is kinda integral into the plot without rewriting a lot or just destroying the masterfully crafted story…. and like, lets be real. we all know that as soon as people found out about us we would've gotten fired ASAP lmao. but we stick it out until the end <3 because it's more fun that way and i don't care about realism that much, i'm just here to have a good time. so it's very much canon and real to me.

i’ll be recapping stuff i’ve already talked about on this blog so some of it will be a repeat but it’s fiiiine. also. this is over three thousand words. i can't be concise.

sighs. let’s go.

PRE-SHOW

> waystar career started off as the brightstar parks department HR manager some years before the show begins. first meeting with tom is around 2-ish years before ep1. we meet during a HR dispute i’ve been put to solve and he is one of the people involved in it… not the best first impression of each other since he thinks i’m cold and intimidating and i think he’s kind of an idiot and weird. but over time we get to know each other a bit more, especially once he rises up in the ranks as well. a few months before the show starts i start in my new position as one of the HR executives for the whole corporation.

SEASON 1

> at the start of the show we're quite familiar with each other, have friendly relations and definitely count each other as some of the closest coworkers. have briefings, having worked together on occasion (idk and idc if this is viable i'm never gonna work in corporate ok), exchange a lot of emails and gossip and have each other's personal phone numbers (for work-related emergencies...?).

> the proposal doesn’t happen because around the time he considers going for it i actually blow up his phone with questions about the old man’s health. not because i wish him a speedy recovery but because i hate him and would love to see him dead (tom doesn’t know the extent of my hatred at that point yet, though). and something stops him, he’s been hesitant about it for a while now and it feels like too much at that point, everything is too chaotic and he doesn’t want to make it worse.

> in ep4 as he’s given the cruise papers, he misses a (very unofficial) meeting with me and i come to his office to interrogate him about it before he has a chance to share the papers with greg. i immediately go for it and start reading the papers in horror because i love to know what is going on. BIG MISTAKE. he doesn't dare to stop me partly because he has his first of many realizations. aaand he knows i’m competent, so instead of trying to protect me he gives in because he does also like that someone else has to deal with it now too. BONDING through the horrors (crime) LOL. WE BOTH IN THE DEATH PIT NOW!!!! but also i threaten him that if he throws me under the bus i will drag him along and figure out all and any excuses. we go down together. i’m also the one who suggests that we shouldn’t go public with it. which also leads to him keeping it more of a secret, not telling shiv about it. sooo literally nobody else knows (until i let gerri know the basics so plot continuity will work out. but at first….)

> so, it becomes my duty to figure out someone to dispose the papers. i still manage to make greg do it. he’d probably be more inclined to help me when he 1) does not know what the papers entail 2) i’ve been only nice and kind to him unlike someone else. so he would help me, not knowing it’s connected to tom as well…. oops. and he wouldn’t get any copies because i’d be keeping watch (and already took some myself for safekeeping).

> in ep6 tom comes to my desk and takes me to an empty meeting room to tell me the situation has been cleared. i get excited because i too have been very stressed out about it, so i go for a bit too friendly hug that he was NOT expecting and so when i pull back he's all flustered and just blurts out "let's go celebrate let me buy you dinner". sooo we do and have fun shittalking and in general just being a bit more personal than usual (he tries to convince me that being rich is fun and i go "yeah i'm sure it is..." seeing right through him). ending the night with wandering the streets just enjoying each other's company, and he has his little realization "aw shit i don't only find her insanely attractive but also would like to engage in romantic relations with her and kinda wish i could do something about it" moment i wrote that one selfshiptober prompt about <3 he still finds out about the vote somehow though...

> his realizations contribute to both distancing from shiv and the roys as a whole emotionally and physically. he feels out of place everywhere, but also he tries to keep telling himself he should just commit, propose to shiv and handle it. set his feelings aside. but every time something happens he’s really put off and like ”i wouldn’t have to deal with this if i wasn’t involved with these people (the family therapy incident for example)…” he starts thinking about what his life would be like. with me. love when i can make a man self-aware and more introspective.

>  roman still gets the guys to go to the (no longer a bachelor) party and i’m there as well, through a friend of a friend. neither of us knew the other was gonna be there… so imagine the surprise once we cross paths!!!! and throughout the night we'd be seen together, having a good time even if everyone else isn't because we're with each other!! but also tom’s feeling ROUGH because of the realizations he’s been having. you all know this you’ve read the fic.

> the season ends in the same place as it does canonically, but we’re all there for some other fancy event instead of the wedding. the details aren't important ok. when greg breaches the topic of shiv cheating on him, instead of refusing to accept it tom feels... relief? anger, yes, but a bit absolved of his sins of pining after me. but it’s also the last straw and in a bold move he decides to go for it and suggest that he wants to break up. it gets a bit messy for SURE. afterwards he comes to find me, surprises me and himself with what’s happened and we kiss and… later that night as we’re hanging outside by the manor’s courtyard, too excited to sleep and too enamored with the other to be with everyone else, kendall comes back from his little field trip and stumbles upon us. 

SEASON 2

> we try to distance ourselves until he’s in the clear, keeping it strictly professional (like watch kendall’s announcement at work together and conspire over what THE HELL HAPPENED) but text a LOT after work, tease and flirt extensively. a few weeks later we finally begin dating for reals once he’s gotten his own place. he invites me over and we drink and he tells me about his new job and it’s a bit awkward (NOT living up to our promises we made over text lmao) but also genuine and intimate. 

> poor guy gets his mancold and YOU KNOW i actually make him take the day off and nurse him back to health <3 and after the hunting trip i comfort him and threaten to fire everyone (i WISH i could but the thought is there. he appreciates it) even though he doesn’t dare tell me the whole extent of it because it’s just way too humiliating :(

> safe room drama includes me checking out COMPLETELY at some other random locked office while he blows up my phone (he calls me like I THINK THEY'RE OUT TO GET ME and i'm like "i'm sure they are honey…", only slightly mad at him because i found out about the human footstool incident LMAO but hey if the guy doesn't report it to the HR… my morals are. very loose in this regard.)

> i doubt my influence would help greg THIS much but it would be fun for him to do his department exploration instead of having to stick with tom so that's what's gonna go down. it'd help build his trust and respect towards me, because i'd convince tom it's better for everyone involved... greg wouldn't have the papers to blackmail with but. he would still know that we're both involved in something we don't want to become public and he could probably use that to his advantage. i think.

> once we hear about the cruise article we get Stressed. because we kept it just between us it'd throw a lot more people off guard. but we'd try to stay calm and let the roys take the blame for a hot second… the anxiety runs high and it does lead to us being a bit distant, but also we try our best to not think about it. we both get questioned, i manage to keep my cool and i actually stored the documents in a smart place (soz greg) so they can be a surprise tool to be used for later :) and of course we would witness the beautiful performance that is l to the og... (< very important for me to be there also)

> my love confession just before his hearing my beloved <3 and… i think that this all would lead to me having to go to court as well instead of greg. since there's literally nobody else to throw blame onto. and everyone else would LOVE to get back at me like that. so it'd happen and while not as bad as tom's i would still not perform very well. a lot of questioning about my suspicious HR violations by getting it on with the boss from an adjacent company LOL. they're like "hmm did you help him get that position" guys no that's just good old nepotism-adjacent activities. but they'd definitely expose our. interesting. email threads…

> but. we survive. i also get invited to the yacht. probably as a terrible ploy to get me killed, but at least before my inevitable death i can have a relatively… good time? then it's up to ME to defend tom to everyone, especially to logan. it gets a little bit uncomfortable and i may fear for my life a little bit. but i'd know i did the right thing when he confesses his love for me <33 and i secretly promise to myself i will stick with him no matter what; i'm in too deep to give up on him.

(ALSO. JUST REALISED. CHICKEN SCENE NOT REAL IN THE TOMJA TIMELINE MOST LIKELY. BIGGEST LOSS OF THE CENTURY……..)

> and when kendall gets revealed to be the sacrifice… me and tom's suspicions rise even more. full circle moment? he gives us a look and we can't help but think that something’s going on. but also i really wanted to help him out earlier, so i talked with him, we connected a little bit and the papers i saved end up being of great use >:)

SEASON 3

> relatively smooth sailing until ep3, he gets drunk and self sacrificing, you know what goes down… but i don't know if i'd manage to prevent him from executing his idea or not. on the other hand more plot continuity on the other hand i want to avoid the tailgate party argument… luckily i don't have to know. nevertheless i comfort him even though it does really sting when he confesses to me that occasionally he wonders if breaking up with shiv was the right thing. but then again, he also regrets getting into waystar in the first place. and he's much happier with me than he ever was with her. he's just feeling very scared and disposable and i can't help him. i just don't have the power. but what i do have is instinctual knowledge (mary sue energy) that things will work out and i try my best to relay that to him.

> but then because I'M the one that gave kendall the papers, he would notify me that i might be on the line of fire as well. so… both tom and i would be unbearably anxious about our respective prison sentences. constantly whining about it together, staying up all night bouncing scenarios off of each other and catastrophizing, brought closer by our mutual loss of hope. nobody would like to be around us during this time period (as if that's any different from the norm lol).

> here i can't decide if i'd tell tom i helped kendall or not. i would probably need to divulge that i'm more involved in this than what i originally planned. but not tell him the whole extent of it. BECAUSE i want that kendall's talk with tom in ep6 be more interesting (i've talked abt this before but YOU'RE GETTING IT AGAIN). he would tell tom what i did, and try to persuade him to switch sides because he knows i would respect him for it. i have 0 loyalty to anyone (but tom…), i genuinely don't give a shit about waystar and would just abandon the ship if things got too much, so it wouldn't be that much of a stretch. and he'd feel more inclined to do it for sure, since his loyalties have also begun to shift. but he won't do it, even if it's just because he knows that kendall will get fucked eventually.

> of course once he finds out nobody’s going to prison, he comes over to my work station and we slip into the first available meeting room, very discreetly and very casually. intense making out ensues as celebration. and later at ken’s birthday party we get wasted and make everyone else jealous with how stoked we are. actually feeling really great and happy and not caring one bit!! we'd also obviously get invited to the mama roy's wedding <3

> things get convoluted here. shiv would not tell tom about the siblings' planned coup so he wouldn't be able to rat them out to logan. but. everything would go badly for them nevertheless... how? i don't know. but it's succession we're talking about the narrative has doomed them already. again i don't care about realism THAT much.

SEASON 4

> i get suspicious at connor's wedding when i realize the siblings have mysteriously disappeared. and tom calls me immediately afterwards. i'd try my best to comfort him but i'd be lying if i said i was sad. and he knows that too. anyways, greg and i manage to escape the boat before it embarks and gossip all the way to the office to get rid of the documents as per his request. wondering what really went down. sonjagreg bonding moment <3

> and as i've said before tom would definitely be uneasy about it for a while, partly because it made him realize what he has to do next, that he no longer wants to go down the path he's been walking for such a long time now. he'd have a crisis about it for sure, and it'd lead to him having some nightmares about the whole thing. his resolve to leave waystar behind is growing stronger, and when he's hit with the harsh truth of "nobody likes you here plus the old man kinda of wanted you gone for a good while now since you abandoned his family for some upper middle class bitch (me) so don’t even think about the CEO spot" he might not show it but man does he agree with it.

> hmmm. maybe no tailgate party at our place? BECAUSE. for no other reason than why not, i'd say we move in together around this time. partly because it feels like the only thing we can control in that moment, partly because i pretty much live at his place with juno already so not a lot really changes... so. there's no sleepless nights (i let that man sleep we're not animals) and NO DRAMA NO ARGUMENTS!!! boring and leaves many things open but it's fine we can still be invited, it can be at someone else's place <3 because i love nothing more than being a side character/witness to the main plot drama.

> america decides what america decides and i go welp fuck wanna start life over in finland? is it sheep farmer time? and i manage to drag tom out of his office and make it in time to witness logan's funeral. one last hurrah with the roys, his moment of closure for that particular era in his life.

> by the time the finale rolls around, instead of feeling like he’s willing to do anything and everything to stay in mattson’s good graces he is growing disinterested. kind of ready to walk out already. we strategize it, i resign from my job and he's just waiting to get fired as soon as the merge happens. so... when he gets offered the CEO spot he is VERY surprised. but he doesn’t want it, not anymore. so he tells mattson just that, hands in his notice and comes home to me.

> post-canon includes us getting new jobs after an unemployment vacation, moving to a nice little house with a garden and a backyard for our dogs <3 travelling a bunch, and getting engaged soon after that. engagement lasts for multiple years, like i previously said, with a destination wedding (very much leaning towards lake como teehee). aand then we just chill out our fun mundane domestic DINK life until the end of time <3

[bobbydeerfields]

So, Kelsey.

I’ve been trying to keep up with tumblr a bit more lately, but I’m still pretty sporadic with it. So correct me if I’m wrong, but am I to understand you’re rewriting the Love Letters books from scratch? And if so, I cannot contain my excitement. Details, please. 😆👏🏼

🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

Tell me, please. Am I going to have to redownload Wattpad lol? 😂

I have missed Val and Jill TERRIBLY.

so, shells.

i totally understand. i think i ghosted tumblr, like 7 months of out of 12 of them last year. i'm really only back on it with regularity for the past week or two now that i've kinda gotten my spark back. i hope to see you here more often!

but i can also super easily clear up your question here and say yes! i really don't know why i'm doing this, considering i have another book to be working on and big plans for school, but here we are. 2025 is my year of writing for fun again after my very bad 2024. and, in this case, my writing for fun means melodramatic rpf that i take too close to heart. my other book is so heavy and close to my actual life anyway, so i'm letting that one cook in my head as i finish up some law school admissions stuff.

sooo details. essentially, yes, i'm starting from the beginning. while people will have read a version of this story already, i figured some people who weren't here in the beginning last time might have fun experiencing it from the top with me. also, like, i need time to catch up and write the other stuff. i'm working in advance as always and have 31.5/40 chapters of rocket queen re-written, so that should keep people entertained a while. i've said this a few other places, but the story is pretty identical to the original in most regards, except there's some pretty substantial growth given to characters/storylines, i've added a few scenes, taken away a few scenes (aka useless ones that got folded into others), and overall just approached it with the brain of a 22-year-old that's been through it instead of an 18-year-old who hasn't. i feel like the drama is even more heightened this time for some reason, except it's not exactly catty? and more just like cognizant of the fact that this book is just fucked up situation after fucked up situation. i'll probably jump off a bridge if people start taking sides or pull that #team[insert name] here again, but that's a bridge to cross when i get there. i've tried to put up some form of guardrails against petty inbox wars, etc, bc i do not want to put up with that! again.

later books, i should also say, will have a few more substantial differences, one comes to mind that i will not be saying, but in general, same schtick. valerie and axl in their own world, jill and izzy on and off every ten days, izzy and axl exerting psychological warfare on each other for hundreds of thousands of words, and general mischief, debauchery, and other behaviors likely listed in the dsm-5.

more details. i plan to start posting on the 22nd of january. it'll be once a week, every wednesday, as per usual. chapters may be a bit shorter than people remember, but i can assure you it is to the benefit of literally everybody. it means you're not reading the same point reiterated 10x. everything is cleaner, tighter, and better. i will happily be here every week to answer any questions, comments, or concerns (excited about this), and i'll be posting on both wattpad and ao3, so if you don't want to go through the hassle of redownloading wattpad (so real), you're more than welcome to read on ao3! i've found it's just a matter of reader preference. i've always been an ao3 girl, but wattpad is certainly a bit more interactive for people who like to comment, etc. also you get the fun perk of seeing the book cover.

but, anyway, yes, join me over here again!! i'm dragging everybody who will come with me down into this pit because that's apparently what we were all lacking from life: gnr fanfic 😌

[vampire-sugar]

Again, this blog is going to be about my experience reading QOTD, but wanted to just list out some of my thoughts on the first couple books! (No real analysis just writing how I felt about them). My previous post was about IWTV, and now here are some of my thoughts on The Vampire Lestat!!

Spoilers ahead. (Tw: mentions of incest and grooming)

The Vampire Lestat (1985)

Big change of tone, lol. I enjoyed Lestat's narration, even if it was a bit ridiculous at first and so different from IWTV. But he's funny! Like when he talks about how much he likes the 80s:

LOL.

And of course it was rock music that rose him from his slumber. So camp.

I really enjoyed getting some Lestat lore, and vampire lore in general. Loved getting to see mortal Lestat. His relationship with his mother is definitely something. Gabrielle is described as someone who doesn’t talk just to talk, and everything she says is definitely interesting. I like how she so succinctly describes Lestat's personality/character:

"You're such a fighter, my son. You never accept."

And then when she tells Lestat "You are the man in me." Wow. Feel like that describes exactly what her relationship to Lestat is as well as her relationship with gender etc, idk. Just liked that line. And then of course the relationship later becomes romantic, although it did feel like it was building up to it as opposed to like the horrific realization that I got in IWTV of Louis and Claudia. This one I saw coming but it was just very tragic.

Everything about Nicki was devastating he really was going through it. The lines where Lestat is describing him/their moments together were very romantic though. When Lestat tells him "(...) light and beauty come together in you in a thousand different patterns." And later, after Lestat is turned, "You are light itself, and what am I now? Eternal as I am, I curl like a cinder in that blaze." So cheesy I know but it really got me.

Ugh, when they are having "their conversation", and Lestat is going on about how what they do (acting, playing violin) feels good and makes others feel good, so it must be good, and Nicki responds with "Lestat, sin always feels good.” Shoot me now. Anyway, RIP Nicki you will be missed.

We got some Armand lore! I finally understand the Armand/Lestat beef that is always mentioned online lol. And also, fuck Marius, seriously. Like from the bottom of my heart. I feel like we’re supposed to read Marius’s actions as having saved Armand, when really he could have busted him out of the cell he was in and killed his enslavers and have just been his mentor. Instead, Marius paid the slavers money to buy Armand and then groomed him. Not only is he horrible, he is also very boring which is actually the worst thing you could be as a fictional character. Like the second I got to Marius's Story I checked how much I had left of his lore and I gasped at how much there still was like why was he talking for so long? Also of course you get some of Anne's racist rhetoric seeping through via Marius. It’s stuff like this that makes it so hard to read or take seriously when the immortals start philosophizing about good and evil like you just went on a rant about how people in the East are actually bottom of the barrel evil while the Westerners were more civilized or whatever idk man. Again have no clue why Marius spoke for as long as he did.

Cute vampire reunion in the end. Got treated to a vampire concert which was nice although I feel like Lestat could have gotten a little more creative with the lyrics lol. Overall I enjoyed it, I think Lestat is a fun narrator and loved all the lore and character backstories.

These were some of my unorganized thoughts of TVL, my next post will be about QOTD! I’m almost done reading the first part and from then on will probably post chapter by chapter. Feel free to follow if you wanna read along with me!

Bonus quote:

ijbol

[chanstopher]

re: the end of channie's room. i really do think the unnecessarily huge backlash he got about the greeting thing right before the last comeback played a big part in his/div1's decision to stop doing weekly lives. stray kids are as big/popular as they have ever been and chris probably doesn't want to risk his words being taken out of context and spun into "a scandal" that might effect the rest of the rest of the group again. risks like that were kinda okay before because usually the only people who tuned into channie's room every sunday were stays who were legitimate fans of chris/skz but the more popular the group became the more channie's room was invaded by people with more dubious intentions who were basically just there waiting for him to slip up so they could cancel him. i am gonna miss channie's room so bad but if this indefinite hiatus is what's ultimately gonna be better for chris and his mental health and the longevity of the group than i am all here for it.

yeah i agree with you. over the last few months of channies room ppl were taking things out of context to the point where i can see why he’d start to feel like it wasn’t the safe space it used to be. skz are getting massive to the point where it used to be a few thousand ppl in his lives and now it’s an insane amount. skz in general have been “cancelled” for every breath they have taken lately so i can understand the decision especially since channies room was a planned out live so anyone could have a decent idea of when it was happening to hate watch it lol (i personally can’t imagine spending an hour+ watching someone i hate but i guess my two brain cells have full battery)

it really sucks that it’s happening and i hate that there isn’t a way to be more protective of the members so that we don’t lose those interactions with him. but chris specifically has gotten such an insane amount of hate since day one i’m not surprised that after five years he is tired of it. his or div1’s decision to stop it is probably what’s best for his mental health at the end of the day.

[mizkit]

new blog post: fundraiser for a friend

new blog post on https://mizkit.com/fundraiser-for-a-friend/

fundraiser for a friend

G’morning, mes amis. I’m in a reasonably good mood this morning, possibly because I slept something like 23 hours out of the 48 hour weekend. And I was going to blog about the weekend, and probably still will, but possibly not until tomorrow because today I’m going to hit you with something I mostly don’t do.

My friend and cover artist Skyla was harrangued by her friends into running a Birthday GoFundMe for what are really basic life necessities, including stuff like a bed to put her mattress on, groceries, and the never-ending vet bills for her cats (she used to work with cat rescue, and all of her kitties are ones who came home with her because no one else would take them. One is a true Disaster King and just randomly has massive medical emergencies every few months, apparently for the fun of it.)

She’s mortified by asking at all already, and it’s done very well, but if anybody’s got a spare coin for their witcher (and I know some of you have already donated: a thousand blessings upon your heads), the fundraiser is here, and she’s been convinced to actually splurge on a video game if it hits the next big rollover number. (Look, she went and bought herself a mocha frappe over the weekend, this is the level of indulgence she’s at, a video game is a big deal!)

A quick showcase of some of my covers she’s done for me, just so you have a reference point for Who Skyla Is To Us, The CE Murphy People:

She’s also responsible for, uh, basically 95% of the other premade covers I still have to write stories for, too:

which my GOD i need to get on bc look at all those great stories waiting to be told!

The point is mostly that I love Skyla and would like her to be able to take better care of herself, and also I would like to continue to mortify and embarrass her by having her fundraiser do way, way better than she ever imagined or expected, so I’m posting about it here and on my blog and probably even on FB (since I’ve been hitting it like a gong on bluesky and why miss an opportunity?), so if you can, drop her a few dollars?

And if you can’t, that’s entirely fine, okay? The world is what it is, and you guys are already so incredibly supportive. (Jesus, I just made myself cry. I’m such a sap these days, but honestly, you have no idea how much you’re all my big damn heroes.)

OKAY I HAVE TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT NOW BECAUSE I’VE GOT TOO MANY FEELS, so I tell you what, that top row of sword girl and stuff covers? I know exactly what I’m doing with them. I just have to FINISH THE HEARTSTRIKE TRILOGY so I can WRITE THEM. Although actually the first two are going to be novellas a la COMING TO AMERICA, so there’s no actual reason I can’t get with those except all the other stuff I’m behind on.

UGH I need more time because…I love writing. LOL. That’s why. I get excited over the possibilities of so many stories. I’m such a dork. :)

[sad-endings-suck]

I don’t know why I believe this so strongly, but I feel as though there will legitimately be a Taylor Swift camero in The Bear season 3. My source? Trust me bro.

In season 2 cousin Richie had an entire character arc episode to the soundtrack of Love Story and absolutely nothing else (iconic). It’s his anthem now. Richie even went out of his way to get Taylor Swift tickets for him and his daughter, and they haven’t gone to the concert yet (that is an actual canon subplot in S02 I’m serious, go check).

Has Taylor Swift interacted with anyone from the show beyond nodding during Ayo’s wonderful speech and tweeting a shoutout to Ebo? Not to my knowledge. Does the 1# musician in the world rn who’s currently on a multi-year long world tour have time to film a tiny cameo on a very well regarded show that’s halfway famous for its guest stars and cameos? Probably not, but she has been hustling like crazy lately. Performing 3 hours a night in front of tens of thousands of people, celebrating her B-day at the Box in NYC, flying out to see her bf’s football games, releasing an entire fucking feature film about said record-making world tour, re-recording entire albums, flying across the globe just to support Beyoncé for 2 h then flying straight back in her gas-guzzler jet, and way more like wOW.

So I feel like a cameo that may take only a couple hours to film, especially if a few cast and crew just straight up film the scene at one of her shows, is actually possible? And I think she’d think it would be fun and I think The Bear as a production (which is not only popular, but very well regarded critically) would think it’s hilarious to just keep upping the ante on how many name celebrities they can randomly get to appear in their show in genuinely good roles out of nowhere idk.

(PSA I’m not a Swifty, so if im missing something obvious pls tell me lol).

[blankingbloom]

5/26/24

Dear Angelica (aka future me),

Hey! How are you? Before I start my thousands of questions, let me first say, congratulations on graduating and finishing your senior year of high school!!! this must be a bittersweet moment for you, as I am experiencing this at the moment as a junior watching the grades above me graduate and do senior activities. Graduating is a once in a lifetime moment, not everybody gets to graduate due to unfortunate circumstances, but congratulations! Thank you so much for staying strong, the k-12 system is literally horrible lol. I just wanted to say, I (17 year old Angelica) will forever be within you. I am you, but I want you to have no regrets or wising to be me because “life was so carefree” 💀💀 naw it’s not I’m suffering rn lmfao I have 3 summer classes, a job to juggle and volunteer opportunities to catch up on and college apps 😿 whomp whomp. I so desperately want to be you right now! It may feel insufferable at the moment and you feel lots of bittersweet feelings and loneliness being unleashed from hell (prison) (kleinisd) (kleinhigh); you should know that there is a whole chapter ahead of you and you’ve achieved a milestone! When something ends, a new opportunity arises. I hope you’ll feel better soon, knowing how I feel now will probably affect you 10x deeper (you’ll understand). Highschool for me was no fun adventure; I was barely sociable, barely any friends (like a few ofc I’m not a loser), I felt like I wasn’t on track to be my genuine real self anytime soon, but you have the opportunity to change that through college. I need you to be stronger for me until we get our masters in compsci 💀. Be an academic weapon once more for us plz!! I know you want that so bad. I know our experience wasn’t the best, especially during covid and certain situations, but there is a whole life ahead of us, that is depending on our actions. I trust us to keep it up! BTW Im missing a ton of the 2023 seniors, I can’t believe that it’s real. It low key hurt seeing everyone I had classes with especially in financial math, english, photography, and a&p graduate. It’s so bittersweet it low key hurt my feelings, especially seeing everyone I grew up with who were a grade above me. I don’t want to forget them at all, I want to remember who they are! I never peaked in high school, but I’m never going to see these people again, unless it’s by a rare chance someday, I doubt they would recognize me. I guess I just grew attached. Anyways, I have some questions LOL.

1. What is our plan after graduating Highschool? What college are we going to?

2. Did we end up submitting any of our SAT/ACT scores?

3. What’s your favorite song currently?

4. Are we still dating Ben?

5. Did we make any new friends?

6. What is your college essay about?

7. What made us stronger?

8. How was senior year? Was it any easier taking AP classes? Do we understand pre-calc?

9. Do we still want to take comp sci?

10. What happened to your H‑E‑B job?

11. Did we get any stoles/cords for graduation or not?

12. What was our final Highschool GPA?

13. What’s our class schedule?

14. What do we look like now? Do I still have short hair? Do I still look gay?

15. Can we crochet with greater experience?

16. What’s your biggest worry?

17. Are you happy?

Thank you for reading this!! Respond to my questions soon. Goodbye! I will always be within you.

Sincerely, Angelica

____________________________________________________________

REPLY:

Hi Baby Angelica!

Since you're from the past, I have so so so much to catch you up on. Time flies by when you're consistently stressed out. But don't worry! I will answer your millions of questions first! Then we can actually discuss :)

1. What is our plan after graduating Highschool? What college are we going to?

A: We are doing Computer Engineering! After hours and hours of research, I wanted you to have opportunities in both the computer science and electrical engineering fields. I want you to have a lot of pathways so you can have tons of money and opportunities! We are going to UT Dallas. We got CAPPED from UT Austin and UW-Seattle was way out of our budget sadly. Maybe someday my love :(

2. Did we end up submitting any of our SAT/ACT scores?

A: Hell no, they were too low LMFAO

3. What’s your favorite song currently?

A: Talk by Beabadoobee, Antihero by Taylor Swift, any MSI song

4. Are we still dating Ben?

A: Yes <3

5. Did we make any new friends?

A: YES! We aren't friends with.. those girl(s) anymore. They were bad for you. WE HAVE MORE GENUINE AND KIND FRIENDS!! There is a whole world out there waiting for you. I love my friends.

6. What is your college essay about?

A: Bugs. In the UT Austin essays, we wrote about photography, allergies, tamagotchis, etc.

7. What made us stronger?

A: Learning to adapt, spreading love, reading people, putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations in order to grow. Being with likeminded people!

8. How was senior year? Was it any easier taking AP classes? Do we understand pre-calc?

A: PRE CAL WAS MY MOST HATED SUBJECT. It is so fricking hard I dont think I ever understood the concepts. The AP Classes had lots of work in it but you managed your time fine and it was never that serious anyways (except AP 2D art) that sucked a lot. Senior year was shit im not even gonna lie. I didn't even attend like 98% of the events LOL. Fuck no I am not going back!

9. Do we still want to take comp sci?'

A: Computer Engineering babe dont sweat it

10. What happened to your H‑E‑B job?

A: OUR LAST DAY WAS TODAYYYYYYYY

11. Did we get any stoles/cords for graduation or not?

A: One stole for NHS, one stole for DUDU CREDIT!

12. What was our final Highschool GPA?

A: 4.6/6.0 LMFAOOO

13. What’s our class schedule?

A: -1st period: Late Arrival (Used to be Photography 4)

A: -2nd: AP Art History

A: -3rd: Photojournalism/Office Aide

A: -4th: AP Psychology/Interpersonal Studies

A: -5th: AP 2D Art

A: -6th: AP Pre-Cal (idk how u survived but girl... never again)

A: -7th: Early Release

14. What do we look like now? Do I still have short hair? Do I still look gay?

A: You got the short hair back and we still look gay asf. We have new pink glasses though and they're see through! We still have bangs. Shit load of stretch marks though smh. Im like 115 pounds now.

15. Can we crochet with greater experience?

A: fuck no

16. What’s your biggest worry?

A: If my roommates will like me, I'll feel lonelier, money, If ill be smart enough for college, if my friends now will still want to hang out with me :(

17. Are you happy?

A: I could be happier but I am okay! Not stressed right now :)